#I hope my brightness burns itself into your retinas and never gives you peace of mind.

[speyeralling-down-thy-majesty]

Y𖦹ur face¿? I'm n𖦹t sure if y𖦹u even have 𖦹ne, we never met. Has the Dark scrambled y𖦹ur braincells¿?

I know the eclipse is dark territory and we shouldn't like it and blah blah blah but that shit was cool and I liked seeing it

Manuela and whoever from the dark, I appreciate your work here, with whatever failed ritual today, keep it up

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Broken Wings, pt.10 (finale)

10/FINALE: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust

Summary: Some things aren’t meant to last. Few are lucky to experience true happiness and they are willing to die to feel it again.

Warnings: angst, fluff

Word Count: ~ 2400

Broken Wings (Angel AU - G.D.) Masterlist

It was the kind of brightness that sears into your retinas making you close them for fear of going blind; a brightness that would make fresh snow look grey and dull. It was a brightness to rival the sun itself. She can feel the cold sweat drench her skin, the throbbing of her own eyes, the ringing screams vibrating in her ears, and the thumping of her heart against her chest. Her fingers are curled into a fist, nails digging into her palm, reopening old wounds that never truly had a chance to heal. She can't hear her rapid breathing, but she can feel the oxygen flooding in and out of her lungs. Fear engulfs her conscience, knocking all other thoughts aside. Fear overwhelms her body, making it drastically exhausted. However, most of all, the fear is making her calm and that is what scares her the most.

“Care-bear?” There is a softness to the words spoken, one that lulls her into a feeling of safety…enough to make her open her eyes. She blinks her eyes open slowly, her eyelids heavy and her vision spotted from the bright light that blinded her.

“Can you hear me?” The voice appears once more and she instinctively sits up, reaching out for the source of her safety net. Not a moment later, she found herself enveloped in strong, muscular arms, bringing a wide chest under her head as a new pillow, except she preferred this one over the fluffy feather-filled one left forgotten on the couch. She prefers this one because it comes with a warmth, a heartbeat that calms even the wildest, most dangerous storms. This one is a safe place to rest her head, something she never felt she had before.

Opening her eyes again, her vision more clear, Caroline sees she’s still at the institution, back home. She doesn’t have to look to see who is holding her – her soul knows him in every lifetime, in every shape.

“I – he sent me back…I don’t know if I did anything.” Her voice trembled as her mind tried to comprehend what had happened.

“It’s okay, beautiful. It’s okay. You’re okay.” Grayson repeated methodically as he rocked her in his arms, soothing her heartache.

She felt like a failure, but she was done living carefully. If there’s anything her short time with Grayson and the other fallen angels had taught her it’s not to fear death. She’s died a thousand times, what’s once more? She’d be back eventually, in his arms again. She could never truly understand her previous counterparts and their choices to accept death in exchange for a kiss. Not fully, no. Not until she tasted his lips as Y/N and felt her entire universe shift, finally centering her. She was no longer adrift or lost, rather corded to him – in this life and every life that will follow, she knew she was going to be his.

“It’s not okay, Gray. I…I want you to kiss me.” She stated, horrifying her angel into releasing her from his embrace before he jumped back as if her words burned him. Ethan didn’t even wait for her to finish her sentence before shouting out a firm, angry “NO”, his heart unable to take anymore loses either. He’s come to love her just as he loved Amara and he can’t stand still and watch her burn. Not again. Not ever.

“No. I can’t.” Grayson shook his head, barely speaking at this point.

Darren and Cameron remained silent, watching her carefully as if they understood her. As if they could feel her resolve physically. And she is stubborn, persuasive, always was. She’d get what she wants, so why fight it? If she wants to move onto her next life, why not?

“We kissed!” She exclaimed, her breathing turning ragged as she stood up, closing in on Grayson.

Ethan shook his head vehemently, jumping out of his skin with the diminishing distance between his brother and the woman he loves. He couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t stay with him. She’d live a full life for the first time in all her time on Earth…they’d be happy. He would make her happy. He couldn’t understand why she was so keen on dying a horrid death just because she was horny for his brother who had killed her more times than he could count. There were times he had left his family entirely, unable to watch Y/N die anymore. He was gone for three hundred years…only to come back to Amara. After that, nothing really mattered.

“Wh-what?” Grayson frowned, struggling to breathe as well. The very thought of him losing Caroline creating panic he couldn’t deal with. Not today.

“When I was in Y/N’s body. I kissed you and I didn’t die, Grayson. And it was before the curse and you took me to heaven because of the kiss. You kissed me back and I never felt whole before you did. It’s stupid, I know…but if I am to die, I’d rather it be in the arms of the man I love and after feeling that serenity one last time.” She bit her lower lip, stepping closer as Grayson had nowhere to go – his back against the wall.

“You and I both know I’m dead anyway. Have been since the first time I laid my eyes on you as Y/N and do you know what’s the funny part? I don’t particularly fear death anymore. Not when I know you’re on the other side, waiting for me. I have no regrets about my past lives. I’m happy. So, please. Kiss me.” She finished, a little out of breath and a little shaky as she laid out her heart and soul before her soulmate in hopes of him doing just as she asked. And she saw…she saw the twinkle in his eye as she told him about the kiss they shared – it was a twinkle of knowledge, a memory, something she managed to change in the great scale of things. She didn’t do much, but she gave them that one moment of pure bliss and it was more than they had before.

“You’re not actually considering this, are –“, Ethan screamed mid-sentence, the very moment he saw his brother dropped his hesitation and in one step forward closed the distance between them.

Grayson’s lips found hers in an instance, as they did a thousand times before. He slid one hand over her front, palm sliding possessively around her hip, fingers sinking into soft flesh through her clothes as he drew her to him. He took her lips, her mouth and a second later, he felt the shudder that passed through her, her achingly sweet surrender.

He felt her fingers at his nape; they slid into his hair. Her lips were soft, pliant, eager to appease and he feasted, on them, on her mouth, on the warmth she so freely offered. She pressed herself to him. And he closed his eyes, wanting to be in the moment, with her, as long as he could. If this would be his last kiss with Caroline, Grayson wanted to remember it – after all, none of them had felt his lips on theirs more than once – not even Y/N. That’s why he was so shocked when she kissed him in the past – he had never been kissed before that. Caroline was his first and hopefully last kiss.

He hoped when she died, he’d die with her. He didn’t see the point in living anymore, but he couldn’t die. The next body she inhabits will carry her soul – each of the beautiful colors more vibrant the next time he sees her. He loved her colors, did she know that? He hoped she does.

Parting, he forced himself to open his eyes to see her one last time, wanting her to remain seared in his memory.

Gasping, she clutched her throat. She staggers backward, falling into Ethan who was ready to catch her with his shaky arms, crumbling to the ground with her.

In the movies drowning is loud and splashy, someone yells and waves their arms, and they dip below the waves and come up in dramatic fashion while those on shore scramble to rescue them. But that’s not what Caroline felt or saw. She was drowning, but she was far from water. She was drowning in a room filled with air, but she couldn’t breathe in. Drowning is quiet, her movements are subtle, barely making any noise at all. Her head is pounding, every cell in her body is screaming for oxygen. She keeps fighting for him – for them until she feels like her head is about to explode.

Her vision is blotchy and her body is overtaken by instinctual panic, but she sees them both – Ethan and Grayson, they’re with her. She can’t hear them anymore, her heartbeat drowning out any other sound, but she knows they’re with her. She knows they’ll meet her again, in another life and she’s jealous of the girl she’ll be next – of the love they’ll have for her. They’re both rough around the edges, but they’re both incredible souls and she felt lucky she had them in her life.

For some reason, it doesn’t hurt like she thought it would. She’s not scared anymore, it’s almost peaceful actually. She begins to fall. She falls further and further into the darkness until it threatens to swallow her whole. And while she wants to stay, she lets go, praying they forgive her for giving up on them.

“She’s gone,” Ethan whispers in disbelief, holding her body still as Grayson had already let her go when he felt her fade. He jerked backward, closing his eyes as tears flooded them. He couldn’t look at her, another victim of his curse…of his choice. He couldn’t bear it. It was too much. He always thought so, but this was truly too much. 

She was but a human and all of them die. Ethan never felt sorrow for any of them...but she was always different. She was someone he cared for in more than one lifetime.

“Why isn’t her body combusting or something? They always do. The whole ashes to ashes/dust to dust thing?” Cameron stands over the young woman, her jaw clenched tightly at the sight. She truly thought this was going to be different. She saw hope and she wasn’t the type to hope in vain.

“I do-don’t know.” Ethan stammered, feeling his throat close up as emotions bubbled to the surface. He wanted to scream at his brother and his damned choices that lead them here. He really wanted to do so, but he knew Caroline wouldn’t want him to. Amara wouldn’t want him to. He had to do better from now on – be better. She showed him he wasn’t past saving. If she believed in him, he could do the same too. He could believe in himself…for her. In her memory.

They remained quiet, each crying in their corner, awaiting her body to dissipate. Ethan had laid her back on the couch, aware rigor mortis would set in and he couldn’t handle feeling her grow colder and stiffer in his arms. It would kill him.

As night slowly came, their sniffles the only sound in the room, something changed.

They became aware of a glowing up ahead too low and too white to be the sunrise as they lifted their eyes to meet it. Grayson stopped, his heart thundering as a figure approached him, not exactly human, but human form – Caroline’s form. It was not reflecting the morning light, but emitting it, actually glowing from within.

The couch is void of any remains. Grayson turns to Ethan and Cameron, seeing them staring at the figure in awe just as he did. Darren seemed frozen, as if he was too human to see the scene playing out before him. Her eyes flickered and sparked and her lips moved and from her came a voice more soothing than a thousand kisses. 

“Didn’t think I’d leave you that easily, did you?” She smirked. She appeared as a human for she once was, ethereal yet almost tangible enough to feel. She radiated love, smiled and beckoned. Behind her, a pair of white wings appeared. They aren’t open wide to their full potential, rather there for show. The dying sun casts its rays upon them, making a play of colors as each feather reflects the light in various shades of blue and green, making the present angels lose their minds. The feathers are a pearly white, pure as she seems to be, but the colors are unlike anything any angel had ever had.

“You came back to me?” Grayson manages to stand, closing the distance between them eagerly as she chuckles, nodding.

“I got a chance to chat with your boss once more…he took pity on our souls. I am to be an angel, to live a forever if that’s what we’re meant to do. The rest will have their chance to choose their side once more. Those who choose heaven will regain their angel status…the rest will be cast down. Those who remain undecided get to walk the Earth for eternity.” She smiled as he pecked her lips freely, making her beating heart jump in her chest.

Grayson buried his face in her neck, making her laugh. But she couldn’t help herself, looking back at a shocked Ethan who didn’t know what to do about any of the things she had informed them of.

“You get to be an angel again, E. Your wings will be white again, even if you don’t choose heaven. But I can tell you that when I was made new, every single past life I’ve had turned into a soul…they’re all at peace now. Amara is in heaven. She told me she’s saving a dance for you when you’re ready.” Caroline’s words had painted a smile on his face, giving him something to hope for again. She had changed his life completely and although it scared him, he felt happy again.

“Your parents are there too. Waiting.” Caroline told Cameron, knowing she missed her family more than anything.

“And you?” Grayson turned to her, leaning his head down to peck her lips again, but it’s rather hard when he can’t wipe a smile from his own. Wrapping her arms around him, she leaned her forehead on his, feeling at peace with her decisions.

“I’ll choose you. You’ve loved me all this time…in every shape and every form. You followed me to the ends of the Earth since the beginning of time. And I love you. It’s my turn now.”

A/N - I was going to end it when she died, but I had a change of heart. Hope you guys liked the series and I’m so sorry it took me this long to finish it. Regardless, it was a difficult series to navigate and I wanted to show so much more, especially about their difficulty to stay away from each other and many of her past lives as well because she didn’t always choose the path she was destined to, but it would be more of a book material than a Tumblr fanfic, so I hope this was just as good. 

Tags: @dancerwriter​​ @peacedolantwins​​  @heeydolan​​ @accalialionheart​​   @graydolan12​​  @xalayx​​  @fallinginlove-16​​ @deeteeeeevee​​  @heyits-claire​​ @riverdalesserpent​​ @dolandolll​