#I honestly find great joy knowing that the Internet is driving him insane

[messy-does-cosmology]

Feels so funny knowing that I will never be as famous online as my insane, racist, abusive father in law who we had a restraining order against. Like he literally called them untermenschen.

Also for context, he is not Jewish. He is just a crazy racist LARPer.

[rybreadytorumble-blog]

A High Essay: Frogs on Bikes

Frogs as we all know are a form of amphibian that inhabit almost every single climate on this planet. They are quite majestic creatures that evolve throughout life. They start as eggs and soon progress to tadpoles and so on and so fourth. They eventually become frogs, complete with two back legs used for jumping and two little arms for balance. They have long tongues to catch their favorite prey, flies and a variety of forms of flies depending on the region in which you find your frog friend. They are normal creatures that have their own way of life and their own instincts. They have a certain capability for 'memeage' as the youth likes to say for their almost perfect resemblance to dogs. We will touch on this later. Now after the frogs creation, specifically in the year 1817, the perfect match for this animal was invented. Charles, Baron von Drais, of Sauerbrun, devised a front wheel capable of being steered, this is more commonly known as the bicycle. He may not have known for sure but, the animal of the frog proved to gravitate towards this invention. It was a perfect fit for them when made into miniature versions. Two little handle bars for their tiny arms and pedals for their long legs. This my friends, was the only thing that made sense. Back in the early 2000s, a popular character or 'meme' by the name of "The Annoying Thing" or Crazy Frog started to circulate the internet. This 'meme' was most commonly seen in the Crazy Frog Music Video titled 'Crazy Frog- Axel F' with 1 billion views today. Any frog who was any frog looked up to this celebrity but he was primal. He, although famous had instincts connecting him to ancestors that did the one thing frowned upon by society. It was only time before this beloved frog came out about his instincts and made a 23 second video that changed the fate of the universe as we know it. This video was 'cray frog air bike ding ding!' a true classic. Although it is a motor bike he is impersonating riding, it is still meaningful. Frogs everywhere secretly dreamed of riding bikes of all sorts and this wonderful video shed some light on this. Frogs everywhere realized it was okay to give in to their instincts, it was okay to ride bicycles. No matter what any human said frogs could ride off into the wind and this was extremely important for them as a species to know. Their were campaigns made to get frogs on bikes again, just like the old days. At first, frogs rejected the campaigns but once shown this video everything changed. After this footage surfaced, frogs everywhere began riding bikes. Mainstream media became ready for this movement and the worlds most famous frog, Kermit The Frog was shown world wide riding a bicycle. (http://thefilmexperience.net/blog/2015/5/12/youll-believe-a-frog-can-bike.html) They competed in the Olympics multiple times and placed on the podium because it was their natural given skill. (https://www.gailshumway.com/news.php) Some only rode for fun and that was perfectly alright. They began evolving and with that, there was consequences. Some frogs were sacrificed and made into garden statues. This is tragic in all ways. You can see a prime example at this link, warning... it may alter how you see frog kind forever. (http://www.statue.com/Products/Frogs/Frog-Riding-Bicycle-Garden-Statue.html). After seeing this, you come to realize that this circle of frog biking was dangerous. Steroids were being taken to increase speed, and some frogs went insane over their lust for victory. If we look past all that, their is a light at the end of the tunnel. A root. Young frogs learning to ride their bikes and feeling joy over doing the one thing they will always be good at. This image, really, restores your faith in frogmanity. (https://www.advancedphotoshop.co.uk/users/77943/thm1024/1400652395_1780224_607543702665270_1059527694_o.jpg) True beauty is it not? This young frog is an inspiration that frog biking is good, not evil. Some may speculate that not all frogs enjoy riding bikes. That it is maybe a racist assumption to make towards their species and yes, you would be right. In 2015, a frog came into play that went outside the boundaries. This as you know is Dat Boi, more formally know as 'o' shit here come dat boi'. He was not afraid to defy the standards and show that bicycles and motor bicycles were not the only thing for frogs. After years of being addicted to memes, his father Pepe the Frog, introduced his young boy (or boi) to a tricycle. This stunned Dat Boi and he became obsessed immediately. He never stopped riding that bicycle and for that, Pepe was proud. Some frogs followed Dat Boi but sadly, unicycles are still looked down upon in the frog community. We here at the UFN (United Frog Nations) aim to change that but for now, we will always know Dat Boi, the greatest innovator of our time. In conclusion, riding things with wheels is a natural instinct for the frog. They may get savage when competing but at its heart, is it a pure sport. They truly enjoy it and are gradually accepting other wheeled objects as common riding practice. We really do have a long way to come in frog culture but I believe we are making great progress. The 2000s have been wonderful for this species and their famous counterparts. Whether you are discussing early frog biking or modern day unicycling, is a fact that frogs everywhere benefit from it. It is empowering and honestly, beautiful. I wish to one day live in a world where this practice is accepted among all animals and vehicles. Zebras driving cars, whales on motorcycles and much much more. Equal wheeling for all as I like to say. The frogs are the start of this. The beginning of a new age for all animals. It is now and forever will be the most natural thing and, the most wonderful.