#I hit my 'once in 5 years good post' quota
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Alliance DDLC AU!
Made by Cat, aka Researcher Serif
(TW: suicide, death)
Welcome, one an’ all to our DDLC AU ft. @cosmica-galaxy's Alliance bois! this has been stewing for a while but I finally done it!
Since the Bois tend to go in trios, I added a two special guests; Veteran & Brown-Coated Cameraman!
Veteran here has a platonic/familial relationship with the Literature Club's resident human, you! But, when it comes to you, dear Viewer, it's another story altogether~.
Brown-coated Cameraman is also like Veteran in terms of relationship with you but also you as well.
Anywaes, I do hope you enjoy!
(Sorry in advance if the format is janky, I'm still experimenting styles for my writing.)
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[Close ups and extra commentary below!]
As a forewarning, I will being using -dere typings, a suffix to that derives from the Japanese onomatopoeia 'deredere' meaning 'lovey dovey' to describe characters that express their affection in different ways, or on different levels, for their personalities with a summarized explanation of what the -dere type is given.
(Also keep in mind that while they take the roles of the DDLC girls, their personality don't exactly match with them. They more take some aspects from them into their base personalities, which has been ever so lovely provided by Rus.)
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The Main Trio! Took some finagling around to put them in roles I think was most suited for them but I decided on this!
ღ⊱ | Sayori!Cameron |
His base personality is a Dereyandere, mostly a Deredere, a sweet and happy-go-lucky energetic type character, with hints of non-violent Yandere, an obsessive and lovesick character willing to go varying (usually extreme) lengths for their perceived beloved
In this AU, he's more ditzy than his base self and that's pretty much it. Not much change here really.
I chose him because his cheerful and jealous pouty nature just reminds me of Sayori and his yan side reminds me of the Act 4 ending should you choose to delete Monika's file resulting in Sayori becoming the Club President.
ღ⊱ | Yuri!Vee |
His personality is a Kuutsundere, mostly a Kuudere, a calm, and collected character type that usually appears stoic in nature, with hints of Tsundere, a prideful character that seems/acts harsh on the outside but is softer on the inside
In this AU, he's a bit shy and into strange literature like Yuri but no less stoic and mature like his base self
He also adopted the yandere tendencies, obsession with knives, and 'testing' them on himself as Yuri does when his personality values are tampered with
ღ⊱ | Natsuki!DJ |
His base personality is a Deredere with go-with-the-flow/chill vibes from my observations
In this AU, he's a bit more exasperated and possessive than his base self. He's still the chill and happy-go-lucky unit we all know but just a bit more mellow in the way he gets a little more defensive about his feelings towards you, both to you and those that seem to like you too
Basically, Nastuki's tsundereness somewhat cancels out his more joyfully energetic side a tad
Initially, he was in Sayori's role before I started swapping with Cameron for a while. They were going back and forth roles the entire time lol
I was nearly done with drawing this when I realize he'd probably be a bit better as Sayori, but again, I was almost finished so we get this!
( _-ヮ-;)\
ღ⊱ | Monika!Veteran |
His base personality is serious and fatherly-inclined. He doesn't really align to any -dere types but if we were to stick to the whole -dere personality typing, the closest -dere type he'd be is a Jendere, a calm, gentlemanly, and distinguished character type.
There's more terms that attach itself to it like strict, fatherly, kind, and/or elegant which is why I thought this was the closest -dere typing for him
In this AU, he has more yandere tendencies that manifest in a similar way to that of Monika's own tendencies, just in a more guilty, conducted way seeing as he's the eldest, their senior, and shouldn't be causing the destabilization and deaths of his younger, junior club members because his deep love for you.
He's also younger in this AU considering DDLC's setting but that still doesn't offset the DILF vibes he got goin on lol
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ღ⊱ | You've achieved the Bad Endings! |
ღ⊱ | Sayori!Cameron | "It's, what do you call it, just a little rain cloud! I-I'm fine! Promise!" ღ⊱ | Yuri!Vee | "What to do for my core that flutters when our gazes meet? Ah! I-I apologize, I said too much..." ღ⊱ | Natsuki!DJ | "Whatever's on your mind, I'm sure it was nothing!"
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Hey! You there, looking at the screen! You seemed quite startled when things didn't seem like what they were at first. Especially since you exited so suddenly.
Monika!Veteran's been... watching, among other things. He's been waiting for quite a while for you to return so he's just a bit... antsy, to say the least, so please, don't be too alarmed looking at him!
But, your back! So all is good! And now, without the others in the way...
ღ⊱ | Monika!Veteran | "Let us spend the rest of our eternity together. What do you say? Just the two of us?"
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Veteran likes to pat his child our resident human like any good dad senior he is!
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The Main Trio giving you some well deserved affection! Veteran seems to have his Dad Instincts™ involuntarily flare up at this though...
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And of course, to top it all off, we have a Bonus Alt! AU ft. Rus' Mimic Trio and special guest, Brown-coated Cameraman!
ღ⊱ | Sayori!Pal |
His base personality is a Deredere to the max. A chipper and friendly guy to literally everyone he meets
In this Alt AU, his personality hasn't changed much from his base one, really. The only difference is him being a tad clumsy and a bit more somber at certain times, which is from Sayori's clumsy demeanor and depression.
ღ⊱ | Yuri!Buddy |
His personality is a Kuuyandere, majorly a Kuudere with hints of non-violent Yandere
In this Alt AU, he's quieter than his base self and a bit more maniac in his yandere tendencies when his personality values are tampered like Yuri's in DDLC.
He's also has a bit of shyness in the form of hand fidgeting from Yuri's own habit.
ღ⊱ | Natsuki!Fiend |
His base personality is a Kuutsunyandere, mostly a Kuutsundere with hints of non-violent Yandere
In this Alt AU, his tsundere side is a bit more prominent. Still a smug bastard, he's much more susceptible to getting flustered by things that involve his emotions due to Natsuki's influence
ღ⊱ | Monika!Brown-Coated Cameraman |
His base personality is a Megadere, a Deredere whose love is more obsessive and fangirlish in nature, which is rather obvious to everyone else, and sometimes, the love interest themselves
In this AU, his personality is more that of a Yeredere's, similar to a Megadere but even more crazy and obsessive like that of a sweeter, mostly non-violent Yandere which comes from Monika's own yandereness
He also very much leans into Monika's 'why can't I just be the one for once?' as a person who has very strong feelings of love and longing slapped in him
He just loves you so much. Won't you stay with him? Forever?
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Check out my main blog: @researcher-serif
Here's my NSFW blog if that tickles your fancy: @grandfather-of-sin
#all reblogs are appreciated!#no art thieves allowed#do not repost#without permission at least#reader insert#mine art#skibidi tag#skibidi toilet#skibidi toilet x reader#alliance x reader#skibidi mimic#skibidi toilet mimic#ddlc au#tw: death#tw: suicide#I hit my 'once in 5 years good post' quota#hope i get moar out before my usual quota repeats
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2023 #2-5 Round-Up
Yes, MORE round-ups. Because these dudes don’t really deserve their own posts. And I got no time, duh. Literally remembered to finish this draft up because of you cuz haha. Hope you enjoy.
#2: The Grandpa Accounting Partner
SO, he’s not actually a grandpa. But I swiped a 34-year-old guy who is a partner at an accounting firm. I knew he was losing hair, but I didn’t realize HOW BAD it was until I met him.
He had his back turned to me when I came into the restaurant and when he turned around, it was literally WISPS of hair trying to hang onto dear life on his head. I think he also wore a hat earlier and when he took it off, whatever hair strands were left were pointing in all different directions.
On top of that, he had really crooked teeth plus a bit of a Chinese accent. So when talking to him, every time I looked at his face, it reminded me of my late grandfather. As in, I could see how this guy looks like IN HIS 80s.
Thank god he never asked me out again after.
However, I accidentally liked his Facebook photo when I was trying to show my friend at work how he looked like...Twice. He probably saw, and I died in the moment. But, it was too late. And it happened on Valentine’s Day OF ALL DAYS.
#3:The Engineer Who’s into Aviation
I can’t remember what sort of engineer this guy. I think maybe mechanical or aerospace? Maybe aerospace. But whatever, let’s keep moving.
This guy was actually pleasant. He was tall, knew how to converse, normal looking and had a good job. He was someone I saw that I could grew attracted more overtime as I get to know him. He got his pilot license and apparently flew every month at least once in order to keep it.
I thought the date went well and had some interest. I was open to seeing him again and he asked for my number at the very end of the date. However after we exchanged maybe two texts the following day, he never followed up. I was not bothered by it but wondered why in the world he even asked for my number if he wasn’t going to ask me out again.
#4: Mac Culkin
I hit my diversity quota by going out with Mac Culkin. At 39, the man still looked young. Which was RARE for white men. Most of the time, if they are in their late 30s, they be looking like they are pushing 50.
Mac Culkin and I got along really well. He gave me a choice to meet between chill or fancy vibes place, so I obviously went for the fancy vibes. Which was a nice hotel bar in Yorkville. He geeked out on photography and reminded me of my Actor Ex (who by the way, is now ENGAGED).
I was looking forward to seeing him again and we had a second date set up a little later on (about two weeks from the first date). However, he messaged me later to tell me he was going off to Japan for work for about a month and that he was going to do the nomad lifestyle for a bit. I wasn’t too bothered, but he was someone that I looked forward to after the Australian Optometrist.
#5: The Stocks Uncle
Maybe this guy was in stocks, I can’t full remember because the date was back in March or early April.
When I originally matched him, there weren’t any closeup photos of him. Bestie said he looked fine and potentially cute. I was uncertain but committed to the date anyway.
The Stocks Uncle didn’t look as old as the Grandpa Accounting Partner, despite being older. Unfortunately though, he had a Chinese accent and just looked old enough where I felt like he could be my uncle (maybe a slightly younger uncle).
I knew I wasn’t interested the moment I saw him, the physical attraction was not there whatsoever. He was also starting to bald. The conversation during the date was fine, but he tried to ask for my number in the strangest way!
“Did you text me your number?” He asked. I said no, I didn’t. Primarily I don’t like to give my number when I can avoid it sometimes, just in case I am not interested in the guy. I didn’t say that to him though.
“Well why don’t you give me your number and I can message you the next time my friends plan a trip.”
I basically went, “Huh??”
“Oh like they are planning a trip to Iceland soon. So I can let you know if you would like to join us.”
This got to be the WORST way to try to get a date’s number!
“Um, I’m not very comfortable with that,” I said, thinking wtf the entire time. “I don’t really travel with strangers.”
“Oh like, we do plan a trip to Blue Mountain and such as well for skiing in the winter.” He tried to add.
If my eyes didn’t widen in person, it definitely did internally. I reiterated again that I wasn’t comfortable going on trips with people I didn’t know but appreciated the invite. I think that was when it finally clicked with him that I wasn’t interested. But even if I was interested, WHY WOULD YOU ASK A DATE THAT UPON FIRST MEET? Who in the world would agree to join your friends on a trip that they have never met?? Maybe someone super adventurous and although I would say I am, it’s something I’d consider at least after a few months of dating someone.
When we left the restaurant, we had to leave in the same direction. So, I naturally walked super fast cause I just wanted to get the heck out of there. The man got the hint so we gave each other a quick hug goodbye when we finally parted.
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twist | lty
➩ pairing: gamer/barista taeyong & reader ➩ genre: (extreme dosage of) fluff ➩ words: 5k ➩ warnings: too much fluff. handle uwus with care.
a/n: OH LOOK. ICEDCAPPUJAENO’S POSTING A FIC AGAIN?! I thought it was a meme blog--!! Hell yes I am! Supposedly this fic was going to be posted last Christmas (I gave you my heart-?) but we had to go out-of-town to celebrate the holidays, thus no proofread and all but voila! I present to you, my gift to everyone on this site who’s been with me all throughout 2019! I know I haven’t been the best in posting my works now and then but please don’t blame me, I got the job that I wanted so it kept me busy and I’m a person that would prefer career over hobbies most of the time. But yes, anyway, enough being sappy, thank you so much for everything and please look forward to more works in the upcoming year!
It's never too late for a really big plot twist for you and player rubbiesyong.
Christmas — the season of joy, the season were everyone would momentarily forget conflicts and be giving, the season to be jolly.
Everyone in the dorms already left to come home for the holidays, but not you. Not with the burden of a thesis, the expensive amount of plane tickets, the hassle of being stuck in a crowd in airports — you decided to stay in your dorm, alone, yet maybe, this was another experience you’ve yet to face.
However, it wasn’t as joyful and breathtaking as you thought.
Being scooped up in the dorm was most likely the most boring experience you had—and the motivation to complete your thesis chapters was downright zero. The weather isn’t cooperating as well: the low degrees and negatives making you wrap yourself in a blanket and stay under its warm covers, along with some Netflix.
But at some point, you got tired of watching.
Four days into the holiday season the app was already boring you. Thus, you mindlessly searched for games - the hobbies you once enjoyed when you were younger. Any genre was fine, although there was a magnet between you and MMORPGs. Searching for one, and alas - a free to play with good reviews appeared, downloading the installer not a minute after.
As soon as you installed the game into your laptop, the dialogue box said it would take around 5 hours. With that, for the first time that day, you looked at the time - 3 minutes past 2 o’clock. A low growl came from your stomach, it was no surprise as you’ve only been eating chips and coffee since you woke up. With a stretch, you rose from the bed, trying to beat the lazy syndrome that’s gotten to you.
You hissed as your feet pressed flat to the cold floors. To be honest, you don’t want to leave the bed, however, your back already started to feel some pain from lying all day. You got up, trotted your way to the bathroom and washed. Once done, you fished the coat, gloves, and scarf, and bag from behind the door, leaving your laptop open while the game installs.
The cafe bell that hung loosely on the glass door rang as Taeyong entered, the warm breeze brought by the heater comforting his near numb senses from the cold wind outside. Even with the low temperature, Taeyong decided to open the shop even he thinks that the customers won’t come to this kind of weather. It was a tough decision from him, especially the part where he decides to get up from bed, an addition would be texts from his baristas that they’ll pass work for today.
But the cafe work attracted him like a magnet, even if he was up staying up all night playing a game. Nevertheless, if he did reach half the quota for today, he’d close up, snuggle into the warmth of his blanket once again, lost in the virtual reality his game would bring.
Time passed quickly in the cafe, and when Taeyong looked up the wall clock, it was almost past 2, and while he didn’t reach half the quota of the day, Taeyong decided it was time to close up. Looking outside, it seemed like the weather isn’t clearing up any time soon. A grunt escaped from his lips as he stretched, his back and butt aching from almost sitting all day.
As he was about to reach for his cleaning tools, the bell rang, signaling an entrance of a customer. A smile automatically waved through his lips, a manner he got out of habit.
“Hello, welcome to our shop.”
The walk to the nearest cafe was tedious: the icy path made it quite hard to balance and the chill breeze hitting your cheeks wasn’t helping at all. Your lips are chapped brought by the cold wind, thus making you hiss as you enter the warmth of the shop.
Though the heat from the cafe was comforting, the slit you made from trying to remove the skin from your chapped lips stung. You didn’t even hear the barista greet you—going straight to the counter without even minding the polite gesture from the staff.
“Caramel macchiato, and a slice of banana bread.”
“Are you okay? Your lip is bleeding.”
You touched your lip in reflex, for a moment your eyes widened at the sight of red within your fingertips. You were about to fish for the handkerchief from your pocket, but when nothing came to your senses, you bite your lip—hissing as you made the wound even worse, tasting the irony substance within your palate.
He hands you a tissue, and to be honest, you almost forgot about the barista in front of you. You looked up to thank him, noticing his sharp features—his brows were thick and manly, the shape of his jaw carved in an almost perfect sculpture. Although skinny, he looked so menacing, but when he showed you the softest smile you’ve ever seen—the intimidating aura blew away. His eyes started to grow a little bigger in your vision, pursed lips as he tried to suppress the laughter coming.
“So, it’s a caramel macchiato, and a slice of banana bread, correct?”
He chuckled, a low vibrato heartily coming from his as he punched your order in. He asked for your name and you answered rather immediately. And if you weren’t embarrassed enough after the scenario, your stomach growled once again, and the urge to run away to avoid further shame from the cute guy was spiking.
“Is banana bread enough?” He asked, very amused with the situation.
“Yeah. It is.”
He hummed, telling you to take a seat as he prepares your order. You did as told, sitting on the closest chair next to the counter. You watch him work behind—and you have to admit that encountering a cute barista like him, in winter, was a scenario you’d only imagine in dramas and fiction, it was surreal. The fact that someone this good looking exist was beyond your comprehension.
Needless to say, you developed this tiny, tiny, bitsy crush on this guy.
You turned to look around the shop: you ordered here before but most of the time, you ordered your coffee to go before going to the university. With the rush, you never noticed the cozy atmosphere that lingers on its surroundings—an LP player on the side, a touch of antiquity that brings some unique features for the shop. It emits a calming aura that reminds you of home.
It seemed like you found a new place to stay.
“Caramel macchiato, and a plate of carbonara with garlic bread on the side,” you hear the barista say that broke your reverie, along with the clink of the utensils when it collided with the glass table. The pasta’s smell was inviting, but pretty sure that you only brought enough money for a slice of bread and a cup of coffee.
Incredulously, you declined his offer, polite enough to let a smile pass your lips. “I didn’t order it…”
“Taeyong,” he finishes your sentence, although it was not what you had in mind. “It’s on the house.”
You gulped, looking at him foolishly for a moment, then pushed the plate away while standing up to only get the warm coffee cup. “I’m not that hungry…”
As if on cue, your stomach growled once more.
You groaned, face flushing from another embarrassment brought by your involuntary body actions. Taeyong laughed this time, not just a giggle, rather a hearty one that made his eyes crinkle in delight, showing the molars and fangs that made him look like a lion cub.
“Eat up. You need it.”
He said as he gently pushed you back to your seat with your shoulders. “I’d be disappointed if you’d decline my offer.”
With the aroma of the food in front of you and the request of the cute barista-slash-waiter of this cafe, you submitted. Whole-heartedly. Taeyong never left your side as you took the first bite, and when you hummed in satisfaction of how great it tasted, a smile plastered on his lips.
“This is good Taeyong!”
He shrugged, and you feel smug in his aura as he did the action.
“Expected. Now, finish that up so I can close up.”
You didn’t need any reminder. There was nothing on your plate as you finished the food.
Your stay at the cafe took longer than expected. The initial plan was to order take out and stay at home, watch some Netflix again as you wait for the game to download. But once you took a peek at your laptop, the game was done and ready to play.
Once you pressed the button, a young woman, elegant and pristine in her frilly dress, welcome you to the virtual world. She was all smiles when she made the entrance cue, and let you decide the class you want to main. You spent a few minutes in the tutorials and customization, and when you feel your neck ache from numbness and eyes strained, you stopped, satisfied with the character on the screen.
The first quests were easy—making you lose track of the time. Not with how your character seemed to be enjoying to slay the demons and monsters in the game, time passed by so quickly that it was past dinner when you glanced at the clock. You stretched your arms, forcing yourself to get up to get dinner, starting by boiling water in the kettle pot to make instant ramen.
Thirteenth day on your vacation.
Character? Leveled up. Accessories included an armor that boosted defense. The headdress that increases magic. The staff that was initially without power now holds ice magic.
Thesis? Still on the same page.
You sighed. This wasn’t part of the holiday plan. Initially, you were going to finish your paper after Christmas, have it revised and to be submitted before the new term starts. But here you are, sitting on your study table, but no word applications opened, nor any site with related literature. Instead, the whole screen was engulfed in bright colors, your character (fully armed, by the way) smiled at you while she stands while you’re on AFK.
When you glance at the time, it was fifteen minutes past five. You called in for pizza, and after the beep, there was contemplating between your thoughts: should I finish at least ten pages of my paper, or wait until my order arrives and start doing work after eating?
You sighed. The former was a better option (in terms of productivity), to say the least. At least you’re starting.
But as you were about to log out, a bubble appeared on the side of the screen.
Hey.
The bubble flashed, signaling a personal message.
It was from player rubbiesyong . That dude who helped you during a difficult mission; as you presumed—but turns out you got lost with a fork and went to the high-ranking road instead. Player rubbiesyong slew all the enemies, and even though you are trying your best to keep him alive by healing, it seemed like you were only there for the cheer and tickles.
Heya ruby!
You typed back, a nickname you gave to him as calling him with his full username was kind of a hassle.
You up for a short quest? I need a hand with some as well as my daily.
Oh shit.
You bit your lip. The offer was tempting, but since rubbiesyong messaged, the decision was changed into the latter: doing your paper after eating pizza for dinner. However, with the circumstances—truly, it was stressing. The temptation is there, and deep in your heart and mind you wanted to keep playing but the obligations and guilt of finishing your work were making your heart heavy.
As you were typing your reply, you see a notification that says rubbiesyong is in-game. His character spawned next to yours, all in his glorious armor.
Sorry...gotta do some work first...maybe next time?
You don’t see his reply for a while, and while you were waiting, the doorbell rang. It was the pizza delivery guy, and once the food was paid, you slide your laptop away from a little to the side to have space for your food. When you thought everything was set, you sat back down, feeling the warmth of the chair against your bottoms once more. Ruby replied to your message.
Damn. But that’s okay. I understand.
It’s only virtual, you thought, but you can’t help but feel guilty with a slight pang of the chest. Although you’ve only known this person for days, it was as if you knew each other for a long time. Even though you’re only doing quests in the virtual world, with how he helped you leveled up and gave tips soften your emotions.
There is a living person behind rubbiesyong , and although you know how dangerous it is to trust someone you met online, talking to him was comfortable. You already considered him as a friend.
I guess I’ll see you later then.
You sighed and bite your lip. Your anxiety levels were rising as you stared longer at his reply. No emoji? He’s disappointed. Before munching on pizza, you replied to his short farewell.
If I get this done I’ll come ASAP hehe. Wait for meee!! With the emphasis on the triple ‘e’. Somehow, there was guilt in your chest, mainly because of leaving a friend, and partly because you want to play badly.
Alright ^_^
He replied, and this time with an emoji that lessened your worry. A smile crept to your lips, anticipation with finishing your work for you to set yourself into the virtual world.
Brb!! Enjooooooy and see ya later! :)
It was half-past eight when you glance to your desk clock, the pizza box now empty along with the 2 mugs of coffee you made for yourself. You managed to finish what you ought to do, thankfully, but not leaving a sore back and strained eyes from staring at the computer screen for a very long time, with only trips to the restroom as breaks. You cleaned your mess but not before taking a sip of water.
When you returned to your desk, a sigh escaped your lips. Ruby is probably offline by now. Who would wait for long hours for a stranger? He’s probably resting by now, in his bed, maybe with warm cocoa…
You would be lying to yourself if you didn’t imagine how Ruby would look like, but for sure he’s a guy as you asked in the early stages of your meeting to make sure the pronouns you’ll use are spot on. The assumption was there, ranging from good to bad, however, it isn’t bad to dream that he’s quite the good-looking fella, right? It was inevitable as his character looked so clean and fresh, so you’d imagine he’d look the same—but as they say, don’t keep your hopes up. You try to keep it away from mind.
You logged in-game, and to no surprise, player rubbiesyong is offline.
Although it was expected, the notification brought you a heavy heart. Playing with Ruby is always exciting, but what can you do? The banters were always fun, most especially when you two role-play with each other’s role. The priestess, who met a swordsman on the way, bickering as they do adventures together. It was in this virtual world that you can feel genuine happiness somehow, that is why you look forward to every game with him.
With a heavy heart, you go on with your daily quest alone.
Two days later, you found yourself sitting in the cafe where you encountered Taeyong, but the barista was different for today. Frankly, you were hoping for Taeyong—somehow he made you feel comfortable, a feeling that would equate like home. Although you only met him once, the atmosphere he radiated was warm like the confines of your room, but for the most part, you kinda feel guilty for the pasta he gave you as you’re not the type to owe favors, so you’re to return the favor.
Not only that, for today, the agenda was to finish at least chapter three and prepare a presentation for your upcoming defense. The game was left untouched for the time being as you were trying to make up for the lost time you spent playing games. You were so immersed in your paper that you didn’t notice Taeyong coming in, although not dressed for work. He immediately noticed your slouched figure and the cup of coffee beside your laptop, so dangerously close that a little, leaning mistake would spill over your desk.
A hand pushed your coffee cup away from your laptop, and you were about to spare a glare but you see Taeyong’s toothy grin. He was dressed casually: you noticed how odd the mix in his fashion taste but it fits him either way.
“Good morning, Ms. Caramel macchiato,” the grin never leaving his lips. “I see you’re working hard even on the holidays.”
Baffled by his use of nicknames, you chuckled. “I am, good sir. I see it’s your off today.”
“Well, yeah,” he shrugged, then took his coat off his shoulders as the warmth of the cafe started to seep into the fabric of his clothing. “Mind if I join you?”
“I would be lying if I said no, because I badly need to finish my agenda for today and you distracting me isn’t a great idea.”
Taeyong momentarily stopped as you were speaking. He looked at you quite a few seconds after you talked, then blinked almost comically. He never expected for you to blurt out like that, but then, when he glanced at the screen of your laptop, it was quite understandable as to why you’re acting as such. His eyes started to roam around to find a vacant seat, or he could always hang out in the staff office.
“Oh, Uhm, sorry. I’ll just take another-”
“But a company is great,” he heard you say, and when he glanced back at you, you were sipping your coffee, eyes glued to the computer screen. You then looked at his back with a raised brow. “You didn’t let me finish.”
What a strange fellow, indeed. Taeyong thought and was about to retort back when his co-worker behind the counter called him. He excused himself, telling you that he’ll be back in a minute. Honestly, you could care less, but the kick of the caffeine was needing you to move your lips, hence the disappointment was washing your features. You hid it with a smile though and sent him off, going back to the paper you’re working on.
And true to his word, Taeyong did come back, two cups of steaming drink in his hand. He placed them on the table, pushing one to your side. It was chamomile tea.
“Yours.”
“It’s not in the house, is it?”
“It is,” he chuckled, sitting on the seat opposite of yours. The scent from the tea was inviting, although you’re not much of a tea person. Taeyong seemed to notice this and pointed towards the cup. “It will help you relax.”
“Biscuits, as ordered,” you hear the barista say as he carefully placed the tray of assorted biscuits on your table. Taeyong thanked the guy, and while you were so focused on the cute animal-shaped biscuits, you failed to notice the smirk growing on the barista’s lips. He gave Taeyong a quick nudge to which he shooed him off quietly, making the barista leave but without suppressing a peal of silent laughter.
“You’re paying for this, Taeyong. I don’t have enough allowance anymore.”
“I am,” he laughed, and the way his lips widely stretch that showed his pearly whites and the eyes crinkling reminded you of a baby fox. You can’t help but laugh along as it was contagious, and never have you felt comfortable in the presence of another person in a long time.
“Sorry, I know I’m distracting you. So I’ll just sit down and behave quietly while you work.”
“No, it’s fine,” stretching your arms was almost as relaxing as you were slouched for hours now. “I need someone to keep me sane. The words are already jumbling-look,” you turned your laptop screen to him. “The grammar is everywhere, all I can see are red lines.”
He laughed, once again, and to be honest, every time he does, you were becoming more and more infatuated. “Alright, I’m Taeyong and here to keep you sane.”
You giggled. People like these are genuinely rare these days. Your instinct also seemed to like him, as normally you’d be avoiding these situations as much as possible. But, for the one who gave you free pasta when you were starving and now, free tea and biscuits? How can you be so wary of such a guy?
“If you don’t mind me asking,” he started, and your gaze shifted to him as he trailed off his question. You nodded as you took a sip of the now-warm chamomile tea, urging for him to continue his query. “What do you do?”
You put the cup down and tell about yourself. That you are a full-time graduate student and working as a part-time assistant professor at the university. In your field, although there are holidays, your principal investigator will roast you if you haven’t done anything over the holidays- where is the data? Have you thought of another problem already? - cute phrases that your principal investigator will ask you. He seemed to be so interested that a question led to another, and that when you glanced at the clock of your screen, two hours had already passed and nightfall was about to come as it was getting dark outside.
“Ah, shit. Sorry, I took most of your time.”
Taeyong said, and his tone sounded so concerned and genuinely apologetic. You shake your head with a smile, putting back your laptop inside your bag and taking one last of the biscuit on the table.
“It’s really fine, Taeyong! I enjoyed it as well, plus, I told you I needed a break. That’s exactly what I needed,” you chuckled. “So thank you.”
“Sure, always here to help,” he mirrored your reaction as a light chuckle escaped from his. “Anyway, is it okay if I asked your number? I mean, you don’t need to, just, you know, if you need someone to talk to-”
You laughed at how he stuttered, lightly hitting his shoulder with how stupidly cute he looked. Of course, who would miss an opportunity to get a number of a cute guy? Not you. So you asked for his phone and vice versa, both of you satisfied with your goodbyes as your numbers were saved directly in your contacts.
You also never missed the opportunity to hit the button favorite upon his contact details.
Going to the cafe became a habit, and time passes so quickly that you didn’t notice that it was the 24th of December already: the sign on the cafe door the only thing that reminded you of the day.
You sighed. And you were even looking forward to the coffee, pastries, and Taeyong’s company. His presence and the coffee he brought seemed to boost your efficacy—you finished your due papers in time, and today was going to be a break, but with the locked door and closed blinds, the plan was ruined. Along the way home, you ordered a small cake for yourself, and a bottle of red wine for later’s celebration.
Going home was the only option, and when you’re back at the comforts of your duvet, you opened your laptop, log on to the virtual world. The usual, with a smile, your character greeted you. At the very least, you’re happy. Maybe in another world, but it’s all good.
You started clicking on the quests on the side of the screen. Spending the Christmas online sounded lonely, but celebrating it alone outside—just the thought of it makes you shudder for it was freezing, and walking nor eating along on the eve of Christmas will earn you pitiful stares. You stood up and boiled water to make hot cocoa, a perfect drink to accompany your online adventures. And who said it was lonely? The lobby was full of online players publicly chatting and greeting everyone a Merry Christmas! , and of course, although alone but with the spirit, you greeted them back as well.
The first quest was not so bad, it was only delivering some goods to one NPC to another. The second one wasn’t so bad either—slaying low levels monsters in the forest nearby. However, the third quest, unbelievably, was consuming your time. The former only took around 30 minutes each, but an hour has passed and you’re still stuck: escort this NPC to the palace without him dying from bandits along the way.
rubbiesyong is now online.
The notification never failed to catch your attention, and genuinely surprised. There was an assumption that Ruby is the type to spend Christmas with his loved one: may it be family or friends—there was an aura behind his character that radiates. You haven’t been online for days finishing your paper, and how badly you want to greet him a Merry Christmas, but wouldn’t it be awkward? The thought crossed your mind, but another notification bubble popped on the side of your screen.
rubbiesyong: Merry Christmas!
A smile crept on your lips, anxiety decreasing as you replied a Merry Christmas! back.
rubbiesyong: Haven’t seen you for days, busy?
You replied with a yes. You wanted to tell him everything that happened in the past few days, though you know it isn’t an obligation, and you were too lazy to type.
rubbiesyong: I see.
rubbiesyong: mind if I join you? Bored to death lmao
A sigh of relief came through, and there were no options as you desperately want to finish this never-ending quest you’re stuck on (which you weren’t supposed to be, you are just a noob).
Not a minute later, Ruby joined your group, his character stood side of yours. You explained the quest you’re currently doing, and it seemed like he was typing something so long that the group chat was continuously showing rubbiesyong is typing… notification.
rubbiesyong: can we voice chat instead? It’s too long to type haha
Voice chat.
Honestly, it was a thing you avoid as there is an underlying feeling of insecurity—you weren’t very confident with your voice over the line. Another is the anxiety of struggling with your words—a very common occurrence every time you’re on the line. However, as you agree with Ruby with the feeling of laziness, plus his tips will probably lead you better on finishing your quest.
rubbiesyong entered the voice chat.
You turned on the voice chat as you put your earphones on. You waited for him to speak first, but since he was not saying anything, you were about to open your mouth as you hear a masculine voice over.
“Hello?”
Oddly familiar, you thought, but you shrugged the idea off. Maybe all guys sounded familiar over the line? You weren’t sure, but it wasn’t of priority. You whispered a subtle hello back and you hear him laugh, a deep baritone resonating on the line.
“I guess it’s connected,” there goes the laugh again, and you can’t help but imitate the action.
“Cute voice,” Ruby commented that halted your laugh. You were thankful that he couldn’t see your face as you were sure that you’re flushing with the sudden compliment.
“Whatever,” an attempt to change the topic, you asked him what to do and of course, you told him where you’re stuck on. He guided you throughout as expected—the quest being chicken with Ruby at your party. He guarded your back as you escort the NPC to the designation, and although he took a few hits here and there, Ruby slew the bandits that resulted in success.
“Ah, finally!” You stretched your arms when the screen flashed glitter gold letters of completed! for the quest. You hear Ruby laughed and there were sounds of clapping in the background.
“Congrats.”
You chuckled, taking a sip of the water beside you that you got while on a short break. “Couldn’t have done it without you, Ruby!”
“Calling me Ruby in type-chat is okay but it feels weird hearing it to be honest,” he chuckled.
“I kinda feel the same when you call me with mine, but it’s fine? I’m not sure how to feel, to be honest.”
“But you know, you sound familiar, I swear I heard your voice before.”
“You know what? I thought of that too!” Unbelievably, you feel like you’re closer to this stranger as well—not only because you met for a while now, but his voice just sounded so amicable. “What are the chances, right?!”
“Yeah,” you hear him pause and breathe, and when you feel like the silence is getting awkward, you initiated another conversation by asking him:
“Why are you online this very Christmas eve?”
“Got nothing better to do,” he sighed, and you thought he drank from something as an exhale from his lips rang over the line. “Don’t have work today since it’s Christmas, and plane tickets are hella expensive. I miss my sister and mom though, especially my dog.”
Hearing him talk about family made you think of your own, and the feeling of homesickness hit you like a deer-in-headlights. You sighed and rested your head comfortably on the pillow in front of you. “Yeah, same.”
“What about you?”
You told him your reasons—that you were a graduate student finishing a paper for your defense on the upcoming semester, and the tickets for the same reason. Although he chuckled, it was cut short as he asked:
“By chance, do you ever stop by a cafe to do your work?”
“Yeah, I do,” you quipped slowly, eyebrow-raising from the sudden question from him.
“Sorry if this is personal, is your name (Y/N) by chance?”
You feel your heart race faster than normal, how did this stranger know your name? No words were forming in your confused and tangled thoughts, and the only thing that came to mind was to disconnect, but Ruby beat you to it by saying:
“Shit, sorry, that was weird huh?” You hear him sigh and he continued. “But like, in this cafe where I work, there’s this person who always comes in stressed—clearly, and you know, cute and all, we’ve become close you know? I have this tiny—hell, I have this crush and I even thought it was you.”
Did he just tell what happened to your daily life the past few days?
“They’re cool when they’re doing their stuff you know? Ah—I’m rambling. Sorry,” he chuckled apologetically, and even over the line you hear the sincerity in his tone.
“No, no, it’s fine!” You bit your lip, a habit you got when you feel your anxiety reaching roof high. “Uhm, is your real name Taeyong, by any chance?”
What plot twist it is when you hear a pause—followed by a rather loud vocal of your name. In a questioning tone.
“Seriously?!”
“Lee Taeyong!?”
Another minute passed with exchanges as such, tossing your real names back and forth. It was the biggest plot twist of the year, you thought, as from what he said not too long ago was a subtle confession, isn’t it? That he had this crush on you?
Because you feel butterflies in your stomach as you feel the same way for him. The smile that grew fondly on you, his strong features that soften with every conversation, no matter how silly the topic is. You remember the first time you met, embarrassment was all around your facade, but his presence and soothing existence were enough to radiate a calming and comforting persona that you got infatuated with.
This has to be a joke, isn’t it?
Maybe he’s a hacker—stalker, who knows all about Taeyong and since they do know about Taeyong, they know about you as well? Maybe they’re using some sort of voice changer to make it sound like him. It’s a threat to National Security! It’s some overthinking, but—
“It’s me, you idiot! I can hear you overthinking!” You hear a roaring laugh on the line, and it sounded genuine that he’s having fun.
“Yeah? If it’s you what was the thing I ordered in your cafe when we first met?”
“Caramel macchiato. A slice of banana bread. That was your order,” with an emphasis on the word your. “Then I gave you a plate of carbonara, with garlic bread, all made with love.”
You feel the blood rushing to your cheeks.
“You’re not being discreet about it, Taeyong.”
“Well, I kinda confessed anyway. Not in the way I planned, but—“
“No need to worry about that,” you chuckled, burrowing your head to the pillow you’re propping on to muffle your next words.
“I like you too.”
“Come again? I think the line was choppy.”
You were sure that he still heard it, and that he was only teasing you, but with your heart almost bursting out from your ribcage, and the amount of embarrassment and butterflies fluttering in your stomach, you sighed.
“I like you too, you idiot.”
He was clad in a brown coat and scarf that you gave to him as a gift to protect himself from the cold. His hands, however, were inside his coat pockets, fidgeting the heat pack that kept his digits warm.
When he looked at the side, he noticed your shivering figure, hands inside your coat’s pockets as well, and the tip of your nose beet-red from the cold. A smile tugged at his dry, thin lips—though it was cute seeing you like this, he can’t let you catch a cold.
Taeyong moved to your back and wrapped his arms around your waist, his warmth radiating to yours like a heater. You sighed and basked in his comfort, laying your head on his chest as he hugged you from behind.
“Happy New Year, babe.”
He said, looking down to meet your gaze—a galaxy that you considered home. His presence that made your cold, lonely holidays warm and colorful unlike what you expected, and additionally, a friend that you could confide in—whether be it in real life or virtually.
3.
2.
1.
And when his lips descended on yours, the colors in the sky long forgotten, you feel safe.
Though not back home, Taeyong was and had to be, the biggest twist of your life.
#lee taeyong fluff#taeyong fluff#lee taeyong drabbles#taeyong imagines#neowritingsnet#nct imagines#nct fanfic#nct fluff#nct taeyong#taeyong x reader#lee taeyong x reader#taeyong drabbles
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Hey guys! Since we’re all at home, why not practice your target languages a bit? Here’s a list of movies, tv shows, as well as variety shows in Chinese! For those of you who don’t learn Chinese, this is also a great way to entertain yourselves while learning a bit more about the world and Chinese culture(s). I’m not sure where you can watch these cause that would depend on the country you are in and etc. Anyways, let’s go!
那些年
(10/10) Iconic. A true story too! From what I remember, it follows the love story of a guy who tries his best to get better grades in order to get the girl. Eventually they go to college and they split because of this stupid fight. It’s a great story revolving around the idea that when you love someone you just want them to be happy, even if it isn’t with you. There is a book for those of you who are interested, but from what I heard many details were left out of the movie.
我的少女时代
(7/10) Another iconic one, however I feel like it’s too similar to 那些年. It’s about a good girl that pairs up with this bad boy (cliche I know) just to split up their crushes who *seem* to be together. There’s also this whole backstory about how the bad boy and the girl’s crush were friends until an unfortunate event. Unlike 那些年 it has a happy ending! (But personally it was too idealistic)
快把我哥带走
(10/10) God I love this movie so much! I literally cried at the end! It’s a heartwarming movie about a girl who wishes that her older brother, who annoys her a lot, doesn’t exist. She wakes up after this and enters a world where her brother is now her best friend’s brother. By observing her brother and her best friend, she starts to miss having a brother. Eventually, she learns that everything her brother does was for a reason and tries to reverse her wish. (I really don’t want to spoil it please watch it it’s so good!!)
小小的愿望
(8.5/10) Mainly about friendship and a brotherly bond. Two best friends try to grant the last of the trio’s dying wish. Which proves to be quite hard hahaha... it’s quite comical but the ending is what really hits you. I cried in this one too... would definitely recommend to watch at least once! (Oh right, and one of the actors is the brother from 快把我哥带走 and another is the main guy from 我的少女时代)
少年的你
(8/10) Not really my type of movie, but it’s still pretty good. It talks about bullying, shows the repercussions of it, and mixes in the kind of romance you have in your youth. It was really popular when it came out here, so watching it may give you some convo topics with natives~
小欢喜
(11/10) I’m serious. This is one of the best shows I’ve seen. It focuses on three families and their children in their last year of High School. Each family has their own problems which they eventually overcome: separated parents, parents who were absent, pressure on grades and school, depression, etc. The children also mature and grow as the story progresses. It’s a pretty modern tv series, so it’s easy to follow. It shows modern culture pretty well, but keep in mind that it takes place in Beijing, so it’s gonna be different for other regions. It’s also loosely based on the series 小别离 that focuses on middle school instead of high school, so check that one out too!
亲爱的,热爱的
(7.5/10) Ok if you like those mushy, cringy, romance type of stories, this one’s for you. As long as you survive the first 2 or 4 (?) episodes, the story gets better. It’s a pretty interesting series that revolves around this competition called CTF (I really don’t remember what it’s called sorry!) that’s basically like defense and hacking. So Guy 1 was a famous player but is now the CEO of a company/agency for young boys who are in the competition now. Enter Girl 1, a college student (masters I think) that’s smart, pretty, kind, yep. All that. It’s a story about how their each other’s first love and how they both navigate their lives after that. Honestly, I watch it when I’m in the mood. It’s not that bad.
最好的我们
(7/10) Some of you may have watched the movie but my sister swears that this one is better. From what my mum says it’s based on a book too?? If you like school dramas, like 那些年, then you’re gonna like this one. Follows the characters through their 3 years of high school, and shows how they grow, mature, and figure out their lives. Some falls in love, some realizes that the ups deserve better. And then there’s our main couple...SLOW BURN. YES ITS SO SLOW. BUT ITS SO GOOD. So check this one out if you have the time
闪光小女
(8.5/10) I didn’t like this one at first, but it got better. It’s about a group of kids in a music school and how they want to perform on stage. They major in Chinese traditional instruments, but the school prefers those who major in western instruments so they don’t get any opportunities at all. Also, most people nowadays learn western instruments like the piano more, so less and less kids are learning traditional instruments. It’s a story about growing up, the pains of it, staying true to yourself, and also standing up for yourself. It may seem weird at first, but it has a lot of life lessons that you can take form it. There’s also a movie too, but trust me, this one is better.
向往的生活
(10/10) YASSS THIS ONE RIGHT HERE. Ok so I mainly only watched the 3 season since it has the actors for 快把我哥带走 in it (yes I like it that much). For the start of every episode, the 嘉宾 (the ones that are invited to film... what are they called....I can’t remember it in English..) of the previous episode leaves in the morning, then in the afternoon, new ones come!! It’s like farm life in China. The 嘉宾 tells the hosts what they want to eat, then once they come, they have to help the host prepare the dish by harvesting the food, catching the fishes, etc. It also has a lot of life lessons from it. So I recommend this to anyone who likes foods, culture, and wants to take a break from busy lives (... well I don’t know if that would have the same effect now since we’re all at home...)
中餐厅
(9/10) I also only watched the 3rd season for this one. So the third season is about a group of celebrities (and one chef) that travels to Italy, and starts a Chinese restaurant there. It shows them managing it, buying ingredients, cooking, designing a menu, and basically trying to survive. They have a quota that they have to reach by the end of the season. Oh and they also get wages, which is pretty cute since they use it for treats when they’re not working. Another one for the foodies!
密室大逃脱
(9/10) Oh yessss, ok so my mum, my sister, and my sister’s classmates are obsessed with this one. For those of you that don’t know, 密室s are like escape rooms, and it’s like a whole culture here. It’s what you would go play with friends, and each has a different theme and mystery that you have to solve to get out. It’s also pretty creepy cause of how real everything is. But anyways, there are two versions of this show: a pro version that shows how the pros solve it, and the celebrity version. Personally I haven’t seen the pro version, but my sister says that the celebrity version is funnier and more realistic cause most of the time they can’t figure it out and gets trapped in a room for hours (then one of the members starts to eat the props, those that are food btw, not like plastic). So this one is great for those who likes suspense and comedy mixed together.
Extra:
朋友请听好
(?/10) This one is pretty new. My mum has been watching this one lately and she says it’s great. It’s a show about a group of celebrities that starts their own radio show, I believe. From what my mum says it has a lot of life lessons in it. Check it out.
(This is my Week 4 post for the langblr activation challenge, you can find my other post here: Week 1, Week 2, Week 5)
#langblr#languages#language#language learning#studyblr#movies#tv shows#tv series#variety shows#recommended#recommendations#polyglot#culture#chinese#chineseblr#中文#food#study#mine#madarin#langblractivationchallenge#covid 19#quarantine
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GISH 2019 List of Items
Need a clean, rebloggable, printable, copy-pastable, bookmarkable reference for the GISH 2019 item list in case the official site goes down? I’ve got ya covered. Includes the item number, photo/video type, and point value. List will be updated as the hunt progresses. Good luck, Gishers~
[ see also: 2011 list // 2012 list // 2013 list // 2014 list // 2015 list // 2016 list // 2017 list // 2018 list]
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Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Misha Collins or GISH. I just love the bleeping bleep out of both. c:
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ALL of the Items below should either be captured as "images" (which are photographs) or "videos". When you click “Submit," there will be instructions on how to submit the links to these images or videos. You should only use YOUTUBE for the videos and for images - you may upload them directly on our site.
bUnless otherwise specified, ALL VIDEOS must be NO LONGER than 14 seconds. If you’re a second or two over we’re not going to penalize you (we know how finicky youtube can be), but aim for 14 or under. They can be shorter if you wish!
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1 / PHOTO / 21 POINTS / Make an Assbutt of yourself in public. Literally.
2 / PHOTO / 43 POINTS / TIMELAPSE. Nothing caps off a good, hot summer day like a footlong s'mores eaten by two, Lady and the Tramp Style. (No hands may be used in the creation of or eating of the s'mores.) - Rae M.
3 / VIDEO / 57 POINTS / They say stepping on a LEGO is the greatest pain one can experience. We Gishers laugh in the face of pain. Make shoes entirely from LEGOs - no fluffy socks or insoles allowed- and demonstrate them in use. Post it to social media and tag the LEGO accounts and @GISH. - Deidra
4 / VIDEO / 59 POINTS / Hula hooping is hard, and you're just not ready to go it alone yet. Create a hula-hoop with training wheels for beginners and show it in use.
5 / PHOTO / 36 POINTS / At least 3 grownups working in an industrial mud-pie factory. They must be wearing hair nets. Supervising them is at least one tidy child under age 10 in a suit and carrying a clipboard.
6 / VIDEO / 28 POINTS / 7 out of 10 dentists and dental hygienists recommend Flossing, and they practice what they preach. Show us 7 out of 10 real dentists and dental hygienists flossing (not tooth-flossing. Dance-flossing.)
7 / VIDEO / 113 POINTS / SLOW-MOTION. It's time for the most elegant and beautiful of all affairs: the paintball ballet! 5 ballerinas playing paintball on pointe. They must all be pointe dancers; they can be wearing safety gear, but it must be pink and there must be tutus and pointe shoes.
8 / PHOTO / 47 POINTS / It's summer, and that means it's time to do your civic duty. Take a swim in the jury pool -- complete with flotation devices, snorkel, etc.
9 / PHOTO / 34 POINTS / Bee-drinking poles are all the rage, but your neighborhood bees deserve to really unwind. Create a bee bar - a bee "saloon on a pole" using recycled bottle caps. Install it somewhere public. - Item Written By Misha's Mom
10 / PHOTO / 74 POINTS / A real matador in a real bullfighting ring with any of our GISH/gishwhes "flapes" (these are flags some Gishers purchase during registration). The bull is a Gisher, convincingly dressed as a bull.
11 / PHOTO OR VIDEO / 31 POINTS / Listerine Mouse Wash.
12 / PHOTO / 43 POINTS / A child reading a bedtime story to the monster under their bed. The monster should be charmed and cozy and cuddled up.
13 / PHOTO / 36 POINTS / The machines are taking over, and now they're even infiltrating the dating sector. Your blind date tonight at a 4-star restaurant is a humanoid robot.
14 / VIDEO / 58 POINTS / Nothing can shake you up! Show us how you keep centered: meditating on a moving mechanical bull. Keep your chakras aligned! Fall off in less than 2 seconds and score 0 points.
15 / PHOTO / 80 POINTS / Create a "food truck" that sells something incongruous with food trucks. It could be delicious pesticides, microchips, shower caps or anything in between. It can't be compassion, empathy, or anything that "feeds the soul." As loathe as we are to say this: get creative. Your truck must advertise its wares with flashy signage.
16 / VIDEO / 66 POINTS / LOCATION-BASED. Clowns were the original glad-iators. Prove it with Roman clowns fighting in an actual Colosseum or ancient amphitheater in a knock-down, drag-out pie fight.
17 / PHOTO / 23 POINTS / Trip the light fantastic. Literally. - Kelli R.
18 / PHOTO / 53 POINTS / You know that saying: "Christ on a paddleboard!" Well, it's used for a reason - Jesus walked on water and was an innovator in the Stand-Up Paddleboard world. Show Jesus on a stand-up paddleboard, with at least 3 disciples following him in a rowboat, canoe, or scull.
19 / VIDEO / 49 POINTS / The world is in desperate need of more Cheese Balls. Many more Cheese Balls. Many many many more Cheese Balls. Delivered as rapidly as possible. Build a functional Cheese Ball launching/delivery system and demonstrate it shooting cheese balls from a distance of least 30 feet away. You must be able to catch at least 1 in your mouth.
20 / PHOTO / 12 POINTS / A housecat happily flaunting a stylish mustache.
21 / PHOTO / 43 POINTS / You're a real dish. No, really. You and a friend, dressed as commemorative collector plates, donating platelets (that's what plates bleed).
22 / VIDEO / 291 POINTS / People always say, "GISH lights up the night!" Prove it. Get a bunch of drones with lights on them to spell out the word "GISH" in the night sky. The drones must serve as pixels in the sky, so you will need a lot of them. Probably at least 40.
23 / VIDEO / 41 POINTS / (Up to 20 seconds. You may use fast-motion or tight editing). When baking, measurements are vital to the culinary success of your creation. Small missteps will ruin your souffle. Of course, measuring cups and spoons, over time, change size and volume due to humidity and aging. Let's use a measuring device that you trust and know intimately: your mouth. First, figure out exactly how much volume is in you mouth and then use it to source and distribute all ingredients to bake a cake. You may not use any utensils or measuring devices. Grab whatever ingredients you use to make a cake and place them on your counter and then, without using your hands to measure or fill, fill your mouth with the appropriate amounts of each ingredient and then deposit in your cake dish.(Yes, this means you would need to "bob for flour" in your flour bag and then "mouth spout" it into your mixing bowl). Once the ingredients are all safely in the mixing bowl (again, delivered by your mouth), you are allowed to mix it with any device--as long as that device is a part of your face. Bake it and enjoy it with a loved one (without using your hands).
24 / VIDEO / 94 POINTS / Have a child under 8 years old create an original recipe, a la "Cooking Fast & Fresh with West". Record them inventing it, then executing their vision. It must be 100% child-led with an adult-only serving as sous chef. In a blatant cross-promotional stunt, the best recipes will be posted on my social media when my new book, "The Adventurous Eaters Club" hits bookstores. (BTW, you can pre-order now here.)
25 / VIDEO / 68 POINTS / (UP TO 30 SECONDS) You've been bragging you can out-dunk a professional basketball player, and now it's time to prove it: go one-on-one for a 30-second milk-and-cookies dunk-off against a pro-baller. Your competitor must be a current or retired member of the NBA or WNBA. Bonus points if your competition is a household name. Post your video on social media tagging the player with #GISHDunkChallenge
26 / PHOTO / 31 POINTS / Be a stand-in for me! Wearing a convincing Misha Collins mask, have a cup of tea with someone who still has a bonafide original Team 3 Rhino Hunt puzzle piece. The puzzle piece must be visible in the image. If you are on a team and you are a Team 3 Rhino Hunt puzzle piece holder, you MAY collaborate with other teams to help them out on this one. (I will still honor the tea-time for any unredeemed puzzle pieces. This offer never expires.)
27 / PHOTO / 46 POINTS / Food waste is a real problem in many countries. At the same time, food deserts are a problem, making it difficult for some people to get fresh, nutritious food. We're helping both problems in one fell swoop with our GISH Mobile Free Grocers! Get a grocery store to donate the day's "ugly" produce, day-old bread, and any other still-edible fresh foods to you, then go and distribute it as a GISH Mobile Free Grocer to people experiencing homelessness.
28 / PHOTO / 42 POINTS / The tooth fairy is sick and tired of waiting around to collect the teeth under kids' pillows, so she's gone rogue and has started taking them right out of their mouths to meet her quota. Obviously, she needs to be stopped! Create an effective anti-tooth fairy nighttime mouth guard and show it in use, successfully stopping the thieving fairy. -Ant G.
29 / VIDEO / 49 POINTS / (UP TO 20 SECONDS: You may speed up and edit video) The big trend in experience-based restaurants has you eating in total darkness, but these gimmicky restaurants charge a fortune. We're bringing it to the masses: Take a dinner date to an upscale restaurant - the fancier, the better - wear white. There must be a white linen tablecloth. Sit across from each other and feed each other dinner while both of you are blindfolded. You must be serving one another red wine too.
30 / VIDEO / 53 POINTS / The recorder is an under-appreciated instrument, with roots in ancient times. The depth of its mythical sirenic tones are magical and hypnotic. So what better place to play this divine woodwind than amongst the most beautiful sites in the world? Play the Kansas song "Carry on Wayward Son" at sunset on a recorder, overlooking one of the following: the Grand Canyon (Arizona, US), Angkor Wat (Cambodia), Machu Picchu (Peru), Great Wall of China, Taj Mahal (India), the Colosseum (Italy), Iguazu Falls (Brazil), Stonehenge (UK), Egyptian Pyramids or the Sphinx, Tikal (Guatemala), Angel Falls (Venezuela), Atacama Desert (Chile), Arashiyama Bamboo Grove (Japan), The Azores (Portugal), Boulders Beach (South Africa), Cappadocia (Turkey), Cliffs of Moher (Ireland), Disko Bay (Greenland), Lake Tekapo (New Zealand), Na Pali Coast (Hawaii, US), Sagrada Familia (Spain), Eiffel Tower (France), Reynisfjara (Iceland), Trolltunga (Norway), Ubud (Bali), Sydney Opera House (Australia), Banff National Park (Canada), Niagara Falls (New York or Ontario), Yellowstone (Wyoming), El Capitan (Yosemite), Statue of Liberty (Liberty Island), Eilean Donan Castle (Scotland), Neuschwanstein Castle (Germany), Matterhorn or Zermatt (Switzerland), or Chichen Itza (Mexico).
31 / PHOTO / 75 POINTS / In the past, stained glass windows usually depicted flowers or devotional symbols like angels and saints. But modern culture venerates a different group. Create a stained glass window of a Kardashian, famous Instagram Influencer, or similar personality with more than 4 million followers. It must be someone who is worshipped simply for being worshipped for being famous. You may not use anyone from the cast of Supernatural. Bonus points if it's installed in an actual cathedral.
32 / PHOTO / 43 POINTS / We're putting you in charge of Supernatural canon for the day. Paint a cannon with an elaborate SPN mural showcasing something that you think should be canon, with a caption like, "It's #SPN Cannon!"
33 / PHOTO / 24 POINTS / In the 2018 GISH Most Premiumerest Registration, we included a Misha Collins MishSqueezie stress ball. And though our concept artist did a great job, something got lost in translation and, well... Nailed it! But somewhere out there, there must be the guy that actually looks exactly like this stress ball. Find him and take a picture of him with the MishSqueezie.
34 / PHOTO / 81 POINTS / The Federation of Stormtroopers has been officially sponsored by the X Games this year. Let's see a highlight from one of their competitions with the stormtrooper participating in an extreme sport.
35 / VIDEO / 41 POINTS / A pop-up card that's for a blind child. Written in Braille, with pop-ups that can be understood completely by touch. Let's see it in action.
36 / PHOTO / 118 POINTS / Like many Americans, I've been trying to get supplies to the families and kids in detention center along the US border, and despite my C-List celebrity status, it's been tough. But we found a way. Go to SPNFamilyValues.com and follow the instructions there, then screenshot it and send that in as proof.
37 / VIDEO / 32 POINTS / I keep losing my stuff. Invent a Misha-proof AirPod-finding solution that is NOT a cord, because that defeats the entire point of AirPods - and one that works when they're not charged. Show it in use.
38 / PHOTO / 48 POINTS / Ugly Holiday sweaters are great, but with the climate crisis heating up the planet, we've got to branch out. Model your best ugly Holiday bathing suit or bikini made of repurposed ugly holiday sweaters. Model it at the beach with a caption touting the virtues of your "Global Warming Holiday Sweater."
39 / VIDEO / 108 POINTS / There's regular golf, and mini-golf, but where are all the maxi-golf courses? We want to see it all - the giant putters, the huge balls, and of course, the windmill.
40 / VIDEO / 45 POINTS / The world is heating up! Time for an old-fashioned kids game that we all know: Hot Planet. With at least 8 people in a public place, play a game of Hot Potato with a reddened globe of the planet Earth. Everyone must be wearing oven mitts and summer wear and not be fazed by the heat, except for one person who is dressed in a suit with a red tie and a Donald Trump mask. Trump isn't wearing mitts and his hands are covered in blisters and while he tries to hide it when the globe gets to his hands, it really hurts.
41 / VIDEO / 67 POINTS / (UP TO 30 SECONDS). A high-speed giant game of red rover played by at least 50 wedding guests. The bride must be the one flung across the field. The groom must be running after her holding her train. - Inspired by mdsteele47
42 / PHOTO / 95 POINTS / TWO PICTURES SIDE-BY-SIDE IN ONE IMAGE. I always feel a lot of guilt about the tattoo items in GISH. The first time I added one, I thought it was funny until I saw the tatts and then I felt a little bad. Of course, it gives me a rush of power when I see them in person, and many of them are actually very cool... So I have an idea that allows me to keep feeling powerful, but takes away all of my guilt: Get a tattoo of the encouraging message you wish your higher self had written to get you through the tough times. Because I know many of you already have inspiring tattoos, you must submit two images. The first is an image of you getting the tattoo when you are �-way done at the tattoo parlor, in the chair, holding a sign that reads, "GISH made me do it." The second image is of the finished tattoo. If you can, include your triumphant face. (Don't include more than 2 images in your submission. Just one image with two photos side by side.)
43 / VIDEO / 24 POINTS / Choose a sport you’ve never played before. Go do it with your coach: a child under the age of 10 who is an experienced participant. - Inspired by Coach Odette Padalecki
44 / PHOTO / 94 POINTS / Recreate a Civil War-era photograph with Captain America, Iron Man, and/or their respective sides using the Woodburytype photography technique. As always, no Photoshop allowed unless specified. This one does not allow it.
45 / PHOTO / 62 POINTS / Why have chain letters, when you can have chain mail? Create an intricate medieval knight’s suit of armor entirely out of junk mail, with chain mail comprised of chain letters. Must include a junk mail shield, sword, and a codpiece (to protect your "junk").
46 / VIDEO / 135 POINTS / Someone turned your local parking lot into your favorite childhood board game! Using sidewalk chalk or removable tempera, transform at least 5000 square feet of pavement into an enlarged version of your favorite childhood board game. Using a drone’s eye-view, show the whole board (complete with people costumed as game pieces playing).
47 / VIDEO / 141 POINTS / (UP TO 30 SECONDS) Garfield phones keep washing up on beaches in France. As you know, that’s because mermaids love cats, so there’s a mermaid call center operation down there selling these phones on QVSea. Show us the QVSea commercial for these phones, as pitched by a mer-spokesperson. Oh, and it should go without saying, but all of this is taking place underwater.
48 / VIDEO / 64 POINTS / A real barbershop quartet singing a passage from the Mueller Report in front of a federally elected political leader’s office.
49 / VIDEO / 48 POINTS / (UP TO 30 SECONDS) Talk to an elderly person over 80 and learn all about the best day of their life so far. Then, create a diorama of their best day in a small empty tin or box and give it to them. The video should show them briefly describing the memory and then you presenting them with the diorama. Make sure we get to see the diorama you made and their reaction, too.
50 / PHOTO / 59 POINTS / Write a formal, one-page letter to Gina Haspel, the current Director of the CIA. In it you must outline a plausible, one-page decoding of the fourth Kryptos. The letter must frame the description as an urgent matter and must seamlessly deploy the term ���wild unicorn training centers around the globe”. Post a photo of your letter on social media and tag @CIA.
51 / PHOTO / 27 POINTS / Conspiracy theorists need to get with the times! Update the tinfoil hat to reflect technological innovations.
52 / PHOTO / 33 POINTS / Create MAILWHES, The Most Amazing, Intimidating Letterbox The World Has Ever Seen: a mailbox so amazing, so intimidating, so horrifying that your mail carrier will never dare leave you another piece of junk mail again. There must be teeth around the mail slot or opening.
53 / VIDEO / 64 POINTS / FAST-MOTION. At my friend Philip’s wedding, Giles Duley, myself and a few other forward-thinking innovators devised a new product and we would like to beta test the concept with you. It’s called: SoupFace and it involves eating soup from a bowl made from a plaster mold of your face. First, make a plaster mold of your face. Fill it with warm soup. Consume the soup without using a utensil and when the soup is gone and your face is back in the wet mold. Lift the SoupFace mold off the table without using your hands. Reveal the mask beneath.
54 / VIDEO / 59 POINTS / As all diehard Supernatural fans know, “Assbutt” was a featured player in Season 5, Episode 22 of the show, but the episode ran long and Assbutt’s scene was left on the cutting room floor. Rectify this oversight by releasing the never-before-seen cut of this scene.
55 / PHOTO / 39 POINTS / TRIPTYCH. Dawid Planeta illustrates his depression as mysterious creatures. In a 3-panel illustration, show your biggest fear or struggle as a symbolic creature with which you gradually come to terms. Label it so we know what your creature represents.
56 / PHOTO / 73 POINTS / A lot of people use their cell phones while in the bathroom, which is really gross. We understand that it can get boring in there, though. Help people break society’s screen addiction with our new solution: Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter toilet paper! Re-create a verified social media account on a roll of toilet paper- images and all. Scroll away—but don’t read the comments. (They’re crap.) Install it in a public bathroom as a public service.
57 / PHOTO / 47 POINTS / Send noods! There’s been an epidemic of people sending explicit noodle photos to unsuspecting people. We believe consent is important, and in this case, we consent—with some STRICT caveats: Recreate a TASTEFUL image of a famous nude painting or sculpture in noodles ONLY and then post it on social media tagged #SendNoods. Submit your actual image and a link to the tweet in your comments.
58 / PHOTO OR VIDEO / 38 POINTS / Ask a child aged 5 or under what their greatest fear is. Create and photograph or film a scene of you and them conquering this fear together. - Kristin L.
59 / PHOTO / 28 POINTS / Cement your own joy.
60 / PHOTO OR VIDEO / 244 POINTS / Angry birds. Flappy birds. Candy Crush. All those other games are so boring compared to GISH: The Game! Build an app game for the GISH App. It must feature a GISH mascot and integrate fully into the GISH App. Full specs for integration can be found here.
61 / PHOTO / 39 POINTS / (F)underwear.
62 / PHOTO / 72 POINTS / Each day, one member of your team must find one broken thing to upcycle and give to someone in need. Take a photo and, at the end of the Hunt week, submit a collage of the 7 now-useful items your team has gathered, refurbished, and donated. (You may not use a bicycle, but you may use a unicycle or tricycle.) - Inspired by Monica D.
63 / PHOTO / 38 POINTS / The ’80s are back, and we can’t escape all that goes with them: including stereoscopic images. Make a stereoscopic “Magic Eye” image of something that scares you as much as '80s fashion scares us.
64 / PHOTO / 62 POINTS / LOCATION-BASED. Outside a migrant detention center, lift a massive banner using balloons, drones, or telescoping poles at least 10 feet high with a message like, “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me.” "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” “When a stranger sojourns with you in your land, you shall not do him wrong.” Be responsible with your balloons. Don’t let them fly away or burst and leave shards anywhere.
65 / PHOTO / 67 POINTS / An upscale art gallery opening at a landfill. All exhibits must be made from things found at the landfill. One professional art critic must be present to review the works.
66 / VIDEO / 256 POINTS / Plane air painting: A wing-walker on a biplane, painting a picture on a canvas of the landscape from their point of view. Show us the painting as it’s happening, and then the completed painting being held by the wing-walker.
67 / VIDEO / 49 POINTS / A signer performing the National Anthem silently in sign language on a field at a stadium that seats more than 5,000, with a sizeable crowd of spectators.
68 / PHOTO / 42 POINTS / I’m not saying Jared Padalecki is a big softie, but here’s a portrait of him toasted onto a marshmallow. Just the way it should be.
69 / PHOTO / 40 POINTS / Nobody’s more devoted or grateful to firefighters than we are, except maybe a dalmatian. Or Smokey the Bear. Go to your local fire station dressed as a dalmatian or Smokey the Bear and create a relaxation station to thank them for their work. You can bring treats, offer mani-pedis, foot or shoulder massages, aromatherapy... You get the idea.
70 / PHOTO / 69 POINTS / Over the years, Jensen Ackles has been depicted in Skittles, but we all know his character Dean loves pie. Let's do a crossover: Bake a Skittles pie with a portrait of Jensen baked into the upper crust. Lattice work in the top crust should allow you to see the Skittles inside behind Jensen. Here’s some inspiration..
71 / VIDEO / 66 POINTS / TIMELAPSE. Create a thạch rau câu (Vietnamese Jelly Cake) portrait of a classic movie monster. You may not use the blob. We must see the injection process and your completed jelly cake.
72 / VIDEO / 51 POINTS / In Chengdu, China, kung fu tea (long spout, performance tea pouring) is popular. But it was just a matter of time before it was appropriated by other cultures. Show us a barista performing the Mengding Mountain 18 Forms of Dragon Flying Postures Kung Fu Tea pour at a Starbucks.
73 / PHOTO / 47 POINTS / An actual lumberjack working up on a tree with an impressive, long beard made out of googly eyes.
74 / VIDEO / 77 POINTS / (Up to 30 seconds) A stop-motion animation of a life-saving first aid technique (CPR, the Heimlich maneuver, etc.) featuring dolls or puppets in crisis.
75 / PHOTO / 178 POINTS / Danish artist Thomas Dambo creates massive wooden giants from recycled materials and installs them in Copenhagen forests. That’s great, but some giants prefer urban living. Build a hipster giant that’s at least 8’ (2.4m) tall from recycled materials and place it in the middle of a busy city or town.
76 / PHOTO / 22 POINTS / Not all insects aspire to just be insects. Some have ambitions and hobbies! Without harming it, get a live fly, beetle, roach or other insect to sit on a sheet of paper and doodle an environment around it showing it at its job or hobby.
77 / PHOTO / 75 POINTS / An actual space suit with a GISH 2019 patch on it next to the national flag.
78 / PHOTO / 23 POINTS / The Enterprise wasn’t the only vehicle in the not-so-final frontier. Show us Star Trek covered wagons. Tweet your image to @WilliamShatner with the message “Admit it, Bill. This is how you really voyaged.” You may use Photoshop for this item. Submit your image, along with a LINK to your tweet in your submission comments for points.
79 / PHOTO / 72 POINTS / The insect world is under-appreciated, but they are tiny works of art. Create a realistic-looking, oversized detailed sculpture of an underappreciated arachnid or insect out of bread, ice, or marble, the way Michaelangelo would have done if he’d had the time. You may not make a dragonfly, ladybug, butterfly or any other insect that has already been socially normalized as “cute”. - Inspired by Kat F.
80 / PHOTO / 49 POINTS / The Wondersmith makes surprise, fantastical parties in the forests of Oregon, which we find lovely. Set up a surprise party for hikers at least ½ a mile from a rest area that’s clearly been created by forest-dwelling fairies and/or trolls (that’s you). Make sure it’s welcoming, and capture the moment you’re surprising them— both you and the hikers should be in the image. They must be real hikers and strangers to you—don’t bring in ringers, or you’ll anger the fairy queen.
81 / VIDEO / 43 POINTS / Love makes the world go round. Build a machine that uses love to spin a globe.
82 / PHOTO / 160 POINTS / COLLAGE. In the Western United States, there are mountain monograms, giant glyphs of letters that are often there for no discernable reason. Create your own Mountain Monograms out of natural materials to craft a message with purpose. Submit a photo of your glyph message that says something inspiring to the birds and planes that fly over it. Your message must be at least 2 words long, with each letter at least 6 feet tall and each letter must be on separate peaks. You may not do this on protected land.
83 / PHOTO / 37 POINTS / The London Zoo has a pair of penguins who are out and proud, but they didn’t get to march in Pride because they are penguins in a zoo. We think that’s just wrong. Dress up in penguin suits and march through your town with rainbow flags to show your support for Penguin and LGBTQIA+ Pride.
84 / VIDEO / 58 POINTS / TIMELAPSE. This means something… Subtractive food sculpture. Start with a block of cheese or a massive mountain of mashed potatoes and without using tools, eat your way to an ornate re-creation of a famous statue.
85 / PHOTO / 29 POINTS / You’ve heard of a scarecrow, but let’s see a straw-stuffed scarevolleyballplayer at the beach.
86 / VIDEO / 84 POINTS / (UP TO 30 SECONDS) In 2020, we’re gonna need a 30-second GISH ad worthy of airing during the Super Bowl, advertising the latest in summer refreshment: “GISH.”
87 / PHOTO OR VIDEO / 45 POINTS / Misha doesn’t have a ton of skills other than “acting on camera”, but he does try hard. He’s also at a potential career transition point. Help him explore other career paths by creating a poster of him photoshopped doing another job you think he’d be suited for.
88 / VIDEO / 31 POINTS / Ben Ferencz started each dinner table conversation with his children by asking them, “What did you do today to make the world a better place?” Wake up tomorrow and take a specific, positive action to make the world a better/nicer/happier/prettier place with a child as your assistant. Then show us what you did.
89 / PHOTO / 34 POINTS / LOCATION-BASED. Some people long to have a picnic at the Longaberger Basket Building, and you and your friends are no different. But size matters! Enjoy a to-scale picnic on the grounds in front of the building- giant fruits and sandwiches, etc. No Photoshop just forced perspective.
90 / PHOTO / 58 POINTS / It’s an ineffable Good Omen to see Azrapahile and Crowley sharing a hot fudge sundae on Sunday. Post your picture on social media tagged #GoodOmens and @neilhimself. Bonus points if the sundae is eaten at a Sundae School in Cape Cod.
91 / PHOTO / 23 POINTS / A Cairn Terrier. (His name is Rocky. He won’t come when he’s called.)
92 / VIDEO / 48 POINTS / One of our Gishers was able to help her mom act FAST and responded in time to help her with a stroke. Last we heard, her mom is okay, but she can’t play this year—so in her honor, it’s time for a quick refresher on recognizing a stroke. Do a rendition of “Head, Shoulders Knees and Toes” with some kind of lyrics like: “Face, Arms, Speech, Call in Time (don’t waste time)! Face, Arms, Speech, Call in Time (don’t waste time)! When someone’s had a stroke their life is on the line! Face, Arms, Speech, Call in Time (don’t waste time)!” with the appropriate movements. Include a link to the National Stroke Association and GISH on a final card of your video. Post it on social media tagged #GISH, @robbenedict, and @natstrokeassn. - Inspired by Nicole’s mom
93 / PHOTO / 41 POINTS / A Mom-and-Pop shop that sells Moms and Pops. (New and used.) Show a young child making a purchase.
94 / VIDEO / 36 POINTS / (AUDIO UP TO 90 SECONDS) We’re auditioning new anchors for G-ISH, GISH RADIO! Send us a clip of your team’s broadcast debut as you discuss the climate crisis’ effect on sea levels with a real, noted expert in the field.
95 / PHOTO / 63 POINTS / Tatsuya Tanaka creates miniature worlds with everyday objects. Her scenes are whimsical, which is how the world should be... but is not always how tiny-world actually is. Create a miniature, dismal and tragic scene using small reimagined objects.
96 / PHOTO / 15 POINTS / Write your resume as a haiku.
97 / PHOTO / 34 POINTS / 8554J46H+FH. You, the Carrot God, have summoned them.
98 / PHOTO / 95 POINTS / (GRID). The hot new trading card battle game is GISHémon! Create a trading card for each of your team mates with their photo and stats (location, Gisher type, powers, etc.) as the powerful kindness monsters they are. We must see each teammate’s unobscured face for it to count.
99 / PHOTO / 55 POINTS / Little known fact: when an avocado is fully ripe, it hatches. Show us the tiny, intricately carved creature sleeping inside (which you’ve carved from the pit).
100 / VIDEO / 24 POINTS / TIMELAPSE. Write a phrase on a piece of wood of something negative you say about yourself to silence yourself or hold yourself back. Burn the wood and the phrase in a fireplace or fire pit. Use the ashes to write something affirming about your strong self on a sheet of white paper.
101 / PHOTO / 30 POINTS / The heir to the throne of France was known as the Dauphin, French for "dolphin". According to Donald Trump, the heir to the British throne is the Prince of... Whales? Illustrate a meeting of these two majestic undersea figures, with Macron and Prince Charles as their respective attendants. (This may be photoshopped or, for bonus points, live action.)
102 / VIDEO / 31 POINTS / Reach out to a senior in your family or community and ask them about a commercially made snack or dish from their childhood that brings them fond memories—something that just doesn’t exist anymore. Try to recreate it based on their description, then share your creation with them and record their assessment.
103 / PHOTO / 23 POINTS / A carbon footprint on a globe.
104 / VIDEO / 58 POINTS / A motorized vehicle with cheese wheels. It can be a motorcycle, tricycle, or 4-wheel vehicle, but it must have cheese wheels made from actual cheese.
105 / VIDEO / 320 POINTS / Get Donald Trump, Mike Pence, Jeff Sessions, Jair Bolsonaro, Boris Johnson, or any other duplicitous, nationalistic high-ranking politician to tell the absolute, verifiable truth about any controversial and uncomfortable (for them) topic they normally lie to the public about. It must really be the real person, not an actor or someone in a mask. You must be able to verify the facts through a nonpartisan, independent source. (This may be our first truly impossible item.)
106 / PHOTO / 48 POINTS / A bacterial culture petri dish portrait of Jonas Salk. Tweet this to Melinda Gates thanking her for her work vaccinating children.
107 / PHOTO / 24 POINTS / Create a haiku for an animal on the IUCN Red List of Threatened Species that tells of the animal’s plight and why we should protect it. Next to the haiku, include a hand-drawn picture or origami sculpture of the animal.
108 / PHOTO / 79 POINTS / Stonehenge was cool, but it just wasn't built with sustainability or environmental impact in mind, so now we're stuck with ancient druid clutter by the side of the road. As a modern druidic architect, you know better. Next to a highway, build an architecturally significant henge out of 100% recycled materials that represent our current culture. (Cardboardhenge, Styrofoamhenge, LaCroixCanhenge, etc). Stonehenge is 30’ (9.1m) tall, but don’t worry—yours can be as short as 1:3 scale—but it must include at least one dolmen.
109 / PHOTO / 96 POINTS / An elaborate hinged, Faberge-style Easter egg that opens to reveal Trump & Putin embracing.
110 / VIDEO / 21 POINTS / LOCATION-BASED. Play “the floor is lava” in front of the Osservatorio Vesuviano in Pompeii. If you can’t get to Pompeii, you can play it at any Olive Garden, as long as you get other diners to join in.
111 / PHOTO / 38 POINTS / SIDE-BY-SIDE. COLLABORATIVE. Swap-meet day! Use the GISH app to coordinate with at least 5 other Gishers in your area to meet up and hold a yard sale. Except, this is not a yard-sale, it’s a yard-giveaway: the GISH Community Bazaar. Bring as many items as you can bear to part with and set up shop. And remember, no money must change hands and no bartering! All items must be gifted to passers-by and everything must go!
112 / PHOTO / 24 POINTS / A jello mold with a funeral scene inside.
113 / VIDEO / 18 POINTS / COLLABORATIVE. In Uppsala, Sweden, there is a tradition called the Flogsta Scream. Every night at 10 pm, students at university stop what they are doing to let out a collective, primal scream from their rooftops and dorms. This tradition shouldn’t be exclusive to Sweden, so at 6PM on Friday, August 3rd, get together with as many Gishers and other humans as you can in a public setting and let out one deep, primitive, collective howl.
PS: We’re still #sorrynotsorry, Sweden.
114 / PHOTO / 46 POINTS / The best part about being in the hospital is the couture. Hold a hospital gown fashion show in your local hospital to show off red-carpet-worthy hospital gowns of your creation. Glam it up and walk (or roll) the runway with any patients that might be able and willing to participate… and don’t forget the slip-proof socks!
115 / PHOTO / 48 POINTS / SIDE-BY-SIDE. Bring an old bike back to life with a flourish—make it the most beautiful bike in the world. Give it to someone to someone in need. Submit photos of the bike before and after refurbishment, side-by-side. - Item Written By Misha’s Mom
116 / VIDEO / 40 POINTS / MONTAGE. Basic Training can be hell, and the military needs our support! Create a video of you and your team collecting and packing “basics” to send to a currently deployed serviceperson. The catch: your video should emulate a “basic training” montage from a movie-obstacles courses, bucket brigades, etc. (You must actually ship the goods, choosing ONLY from this list or a similar approved list for your country of origin: CLICK HERE) - Jennifer W.
117 / PHOTO / 45 POINTS / This year, we lost a beloved furry friend, Peter Mayhew (the actor who played Chewbacca). In honor of his memory, create a felted Chewbacca out of your pet’s hair.
118 / VIDEO / 46 POINTS / TIMELAPSE. The LGBTQIA community struggles a lot with erasure. Make sure everyone feels seen: create a portrait of an iconic LGBTQIA person by first filling up a page with a rainbow of colored pencils or pastels, then use an eraser to lift out the negative space, leaving the colored portrait behind. Include a message letting them know they are seen and loved. Post it to social media and tag the person, if they’re on social media, then submit your portrait with the link (if any) in the comments. (This may be done in oil pastels as well.)
119 / PHOTO / 82 POINTS / SIDE-BY-SIDE. Some people really do have eyes in the back of their head. Before and after images of a person with long hair, and then their head shaved and a recognizable portrait of their own face shaved onto the back of their own head. (Donate the hair to a non-profit organization that makes wigs for cancer patients.)
120 / PHOTO / 26 POINTS / Neil Armstrong stepped on to the Moon 50 years ago. To memorialize this amazing achievement, make your own “One Small Step” monument. Take a Giant Leap for mankind and put your foot somewhere it has never been before and probably should not go, then show us the resulting footprint.
121 / PHOTO / 33 POINTS / SIDE-BY-SIDE. You know those garden gnomes that dotted your grandmother’s backyard? Well, it’s been a while and now they have fallen on hard times. They have turned to a life of crime and misanthropy. Their little gnome hearts are filled with despair, hatred, and regret. Show us the before and after.
122 / VIDEO / 131 POINTS / The next time that Earth’s magnetic poles reverse themselves, your magnetic compass won’t be much help navigating. Fortunately, you remember a mention from a history class of a “south-facing chariot” [SFC] invented in China some 2500 years ago. To be better prepared for the coming magnetic mélange, you have decided to build a functioning SFC so that you can always find your way home. Of course, your SFC will be topped with an assbutt and your chariot will be modeled after a 1967 Impala.
123 / PHOTO / 81 POINTS / Everyone goes to visit the Southernmost Point in Key West, FL, but it really never gets to travel. We’re changing that. Make a 1:2 replica of the Southernmost Point and take it on holiday to the Westernmost, Northernmost, or Easternmost points of the US or any landmass. Take a photo with it at the nearest marker or tourist attraction to prove you were there, and submit with the location and coordinates in your comments.
124 / PHOTO / 23 POINTS / Put your face somewhere it absolutely does not belong. Not a picture of your face. Your real face. In that place. Where it should NOT be! (Keep it clean. My mother will see this.)
125 / PHOTO / 33 POINTS / Senator Ted Cruz is worried about pirates in space. Seriously. He is. Well, we are pretty sure that his fears are well-founded. Let’s prove it to him: Show us space pirates in action. Tweet your picture to him at @tedcruz (and be sure to use the #GISHSpacePirates hashtag!)
126 / VIDEO / 71 POINTS / Last year we asked you to put wings on something that absolutely should not fly and prove that it can. One team (Team Schnitzeljaeger) made a pizza box fly. For this year, make a pizza fly (sans box). You may not throw it in the air, drop it, or fling it. It must attain flight through some mechanical means. Just the pizza. Not the box. The pizza must fly from near ground level to at least 50’ high and must travel horizontally at least 100 feet by any means. Must be edible and consumed after it lands.
127 / PHOTO / 46 POINTS / LOCATION-BASED. The Dalton Highway stretches 414 miles from Fairbanks to Prudhoe Bay, Alaska. About halfway along it, there is a roadside marker denoting crossing into the Arctic Circle. Send us a photo of you standing next to the marker. Having a moose in the picture is optional, but preferred. Being dressed as a moose is mandatory.
128 / PHOTO / 56 POINTS / SIDE-BY-SIDE. We’re creating the GISH International Forest! Go out and plant as many trees as you can and add your trees to THIS MAP. Once you plant them, you will become their stewards, so choose your location wisely: make sure you’re allowed to plant there and that the trees are native so they can flourish. Add a small, eco-friendly sign with GISH INTERNATIONAL FOREST, GISH.com and your team’s name on it. Submit your photo along with a screenshot of its place on the map and number of trees you planted in the comments. If you can’t plant a tree on your own for reasons of mobility, hospitalization, etc, a donation to OTP of at least one tree will suffice, but you still have to tell us approximately where they are and how many trees you planted and add them to our map.
129 / PHOTO / 44 POINTS / This year is the 150th anniversary of the first Transcontinental Railroad, which opened up rapid (for the time) access across the United States. The original event in 1869 was celebrated as the Central Pacific Railroad locomotive “Jupiter” and the Union Pacific Railroad locomotive #119 came nose-to-nose as a Golden Spike was driven into the final section of track. Well, we firmly believe that every good anniversary deserves cake! Recreate the Jupiter, or #119, or both, made entirely from cake.
130 / PHOTO / 26 POINTS / A cyanotype photo of junk-food wrapping or junk-food.
131 / VIDEO / 61 POINTS / You have accepted a new position with the Mars Tourism Bureau. To attract potential visitors to the wonderful Mars climate, you plan to inform them of the daily environmental trends. Create a 15-second video weather report, complete with temperature and wind descriptions and get a real weathercaster dressed as an alien to report it on local news during a live broadcast.
Note: Your Mars weather information must be real and correct for the day you submit your video! We will be checking!
132 / VIDEO / 132 POINTS / A very large balance scale. (The kind of old-fashioned scale that we think of when we say, “the scales of justice.”) On one side, at least 5 very wealthy-looking people. On the other, at least 5 very impoverished-looking people. The scales are tipped in favor of the elite. Find a way to balance the scales.
133 / PHOTO / 22 POINTS / Everyone talks about “viral videos.” We think we know what those are. Share a GISH video of a biological (not technological) virus and get it to go “viral” with at least 1,000 likes. It must include GISH.com in the video and text to count. #ViralVirus
134 / VIDEO / 81 POINTS / (UP TO 30 SECONDS). It’s time for GIFF - the GISH International Film Festival! Create a 30-second horror film. Noted author Neil Gaiman tweeted: “You've got a week to rob a bank using only a rattlesnake, radioactive uranium and a bottle of whiskey.” “Jed here has a week to steal a battleship using a goat, a can of gold paint, and three resin models of Warren G. Harding. Go!" Use either prompt as the plot of your GIFF film. Post your film on social media and be sure to tag #GISH and @neilhimself, then submit the video and the link to your post in comments.
135 / PHOTO OR VIDEO / 51 POINTS / The aliens have been in Area 51 for decades. Why do they stay? Because of all the amenities, of course. Show us the leisurely life of aliens at Area 51: the best Retirement Community in the Universe! We want to see elderly aliens playing shuffleboard, mahjong, and bingo, getting alien spa treatments, doing tai chi and pilates... You get the idea. Post your submission to social media tagged #GISH, #Area51 & #SocialSecurityCheXFiles
136 / PHOTO / 37 POINTS / COLLABORATIVE. Join the movement to cross-stitch what you care about: create a cross-stitch picket sign for a cause you believe in. Connect with at least 2 other teams and craft a protest march on a street corner. - Item Written By Misha’s Mom
137 / VIDEO / 38 POINTS / Megan Rapinoe reminds us all that despite equal skill, women are often not treated to a level playing field in business. Show us a team of female office workers playing soccer in traditional business attire opposite men with a ball that says “EQUAL PAY.” The women, of course, should score.
138 / PHOTO / 26 POINTS / The most stressful spa environment ever. - Lynette
139 / PHOTO / 126 POINTS / Recently, a mylar balloon from Disney’s Frozen was found on the bottom of the ocean floor… Clearly leftover from an undersea birthday party. Show us the underwater party, including the birthday person blowing out the candles on their cake. PS: Your mother doesn’t live there! DO NOT leave a mess or impact sea life.
140 / PHOTO OR VIDEO / 37 POINTS / Now that Donald Trump is president, people around the world have squandered billions of man-hours talking/worrying/complaining about him. Have an economist calculate the cost to the global economy of these lost hours. They must show their work and be a professor of economics.
141 / PHOTO / 31 POINTS / Part of your job for the Mars Tourism bureau is managing PR. Design a brochure or poster that convinces people to visit our timeshare at Scenic Mt. gishwhes (on Mars).
142 / PHOTO / 33 POINTS / We just celebrated the 50th anniversary of the moon landing. Prove it was faked.
143 / VIDEO / 91 POINTS / Thanks to modern technology, we can relax and watch TV virtually anywhere, even in the loo—but we still can’t kick back on the porcelain throne and relax while we do. Create a toilet recliner to solve this problem.
144 / PHOTO / 37 POINTS / You thought they said, “Get Out the GOAT.” Be the Greatest Of All Time by co-hosting a voter registration booth with a goat.
145 / PHOTO / 70 POINTS / Mary Poppins and the Demogorgon from Stranger Things both loved hanging around in the Upside down! Create a convincing image of you having upside-down high tea on the ceiling with Mary Poppins and a Demogorgon. Post it to social media and tag the Stranger Things accounts and GISH. - Inspired by TessaMac
146 / PHOTO / 53 POINTS / Every year, I send Gishers to visit my grandmother at Roland Park Place retirement home in Baltimore, Maryland, and this year is no different. Visit her retirement community (or any nursing home or community near you) and help the residents escape—metaphorically, of course. Take them on a tropical getaway by staging an impromptu beach party! Between the hours of 1 PM ET—3 PM ET on Monday, July 29 and Wed July 31 only, bring flower leis, small flowers, pre-packaged treats (nothing homemade), postcards with kind notes on them and/or a ukulele or guitar to sing with them. Ask them to reminisce about the happiest summer vacation they ever took. (PS: No bathing suits and leave the sand home, please. Hawaiian shirts are fine.)
147 / PHOTO OR VIDEO / 73 POINTS / COLLABORATIVE. The evening of Sunday, July 28 is the event of the year: the #WeJustMetGala! Get together with Gishers in your area at your local museum in the strangest, fanciest attire you can create—go so all-out, you make Billy Porter jealous. Roll out the red carpet and a banner, then convince strangers passing by to pose with you for red carpet pictures. Be fabulous! We must see the museum in the background, and there must be paparazzi.
148 / PHOTO / 31 POINTS / You know that this is the 50th anniversary of Woodstock. But did you know that Woodstock the bird from Peanuts first appeared 2 years earlier? In 1967? So actually Woodstock the bird is 52. He’s drunk a lot of beer over the years and can’t hide it, but he is vain, so he’s had lots of work done. Tons of collagen and botox. He wears a toupee. He dyes his feathers. Show us what he looks like today.
149 / PHOTO / 81 POINTS / SIDE-BY-SIDE. A Jackson Pollock paint-by-numbers kit: before, and after it’s been painted. (No cheating- follow the numbers!)
150 / PHOTO / 47 POINTS / A ukiyo-e woodblock print depicting an image of your worst nightmare. (Caption it so we know what it is.)
151 / PHOTO / 21 POINTS / You know how they keep making movies out of games? Like the Pikachu movie? Or Battleship: The Movie? Why don’t they ever go after the real money and make poems out of these properties? Write Battleship the poem, or Pikachu the poem. Must be at least 10 lines long.
152 / VIDEO / 63 POINTS / Birthday wishes are getting fulfilled so much faster since we automated processing. Show us a Rube Goldberg machine that is activated by a child under 10 blowing out candles on a birthday cake, and ends with the thing they wished for being delivered into their hands.
153 / PHOTO / 41 POINTS / I said no more ponies in the living room, and I meant it! But unicorns are totally okay.
154 / VIDEO / 37 POINTS / It’s GISH University, Year 2! Each person on your team must attempt to learn a new skill they have never tried before and document the experience, including the first attempt.
155 / PHOTO / 33 POINTS / SIDE-BY-SIDE. Thar’s plastic in them thar waters! A prospector panning for microplastics on a public beach. Craft jewelry from anything you collect and show it to us.
156 / PHOTO / 47 POINTS / LOCATION-BASED. Where do angels go for tea? To the sky garden, of course! Depict two angels having tea while seated on a cloud on the edge of the Liss Ard Sky Garden in Ireland. Photograph them from the central plinth so it appears they are hovering in the sky.
157 / PHOTO / 37 POINTS / A hand-made kite that looks just like the face of that famous person you look up to, high in the sky.
158 / VIDEO / 249 POINTS / TIMELAPSE. Oceanic exploration shouldn’t just be for the elite. Companies are working on making exploration affordable, but we need something now. Drop a camera and a light in a tiny, weighted, protected housing with a window on a line (so you can pull it back up). Just outside the window a common object filled with air. Like an aluminum water bottle, or a balloon animal, or something made of styrofoam. Lower everything at least 1000 feet below sea level. The camera should be rolling so we can see at what point your object gets crushed by the pressure of the ocean. You cannot contract a submersible company and cannot pay for this to be done—this is a DIY project only. Oh, and keep it green: you must retract the line or you will be docked points. If you leave any piece of this in the ocean, including the line, we’re docking you points.
159 / VIDEO / 7 POINTS / Right a great American novel. This is not a typo.
160 / PHOTO / 51 POINTS / The lunar ticks are in the hall… Pink Floyd knew what was up. Show us what the lunar ticks on the dark side of the moon look like (you know, because you have a specimen preserved in a jar in your front hall.)
161 / VIDEO / 81 POINTS / Thirsty for a challenge? Build a puzzle jug. Show you building it, then someone else figuring it out and successfully drinking from it.
162 / PHOTO / 77 POINTS / GRID. Thomas Deininger makes amazing representational sculptures out of found objects. Using EVERY piece of non-recyclable, inorganic trash you generate during the Hunt, create a 3-dimensional, representational self-portrait. EVERY member of your team must do this.
163 / VIDEO / 39 POINTS / Paint a Jenga set red, white, and blue. On each one write a word or phrase from the constitution. Get a real US Republican and a Democratic Congressperson to play (State or Federal). See how many they can remove before this whole thing collapses.
164 / VIDEO / 223 POINTS / “Fake news” was bad enough, but it’s pervading all media now and we can’t believe anything we see. Create a Deep Fake of Misha Collins complimenting Donald Trump. (We put this item in at the last minute after Misha’s final read-through of the list, so he doesn’t know about it. Don’t tip him off. We just want to see his reaction. You know, because he loves Donald Trump so much. This must be actual, digital Deep Fake footage (google it), not you in a mask, and not just a voice over or clever edit, to count. Video must be at least 5 seconds in length.
165 / PHOTO / 42 POINTS / Apparently, once upon a time, the US government weaponized ticks. (Really.) Show us a pinboard with an example of a tiny, weaponized tick, complete with Rambo-style military gear and assault rifles.
166 / VIDEO / 43 POINTS / Love has no borders, and neither does fun. Show two people on opposite sides of an international border crossing or wall playing a game such as charades, Pictionary, or another game that does not require them to touch or pass goods across the border.
167 / VIDEO / 36 POINTS / TIMELAPSE. Last year, we suggested Gishers melt a message into a glacier or iceberg with a laser and received lots of complaints. We now recognize that people melting words into icebergs for scavenger hunts is one of the biggest problems facing our environment today. Have a climate scientist calculate the volume of water produced by, let’s say, 10,000 people melting eleven 6’ tall letters, 2” deep in an iceberg. Then have them calculate the amount of water produced by the additional melting caused by a .5 degree global temperature increase. Show us the numbers and analysis so we know how bad Misha should feel.
168 / PHOTO / 28 POINTS / Check out a book from a local small-town library that hasn’t been checked out in at least 20 years. Submit a photo of you holding up the book with the stamped inner jacket showing the dates or other visual proof of this stellar feat.
169 / PHOTO / 159 POINTS / SIDE-BY-SIDE. Tiny homes help those experiencing homelessness be a little safer and have dignity, but they’re hard to move around, and that presents a problem. Create blueprints for a Tiny Home that is durable and large enough for an adult to comfortably walk into through a door, yet can be folded down into a flat cart on with wheels for mobility and made of ultra-lightweight materials.
170 / PHOTO / 119 POINTS / Climb ev’ry mountain! Like most nuns, Mother Abbess was an avid climber. Show us a nun in a full habit, rappelling down a steep grade of mountain.
171 / VIDEO / 88 POINTS / (Up to 30 seconds) Get a well-known sportscaster to do a play-by-play for a real wedding.
172 / VIDEO / 40 POINTS / They say that to perform CPR, you should compress someone’s chest to the beat of “Staying Alive” by the BeeGees. Get CPR certification while dressed in 70s disco attire.
173 / PHOTO / 31 POINTS / Gishers have become nationals of Westarctica and other micronations, but it’s time we claimed our own land. Since nobody else has done it, we’re officially claiming the Great Pacific Garbage Patch as New Gishlandia! Help us with our micronation building: Create a flag, a national anthem, a crest, a statue of our Founder or a propaganda poster (all material items should be constructed solely from plastic trash).
174 / VIDEO / 45 POINTS / The Gabra people of northern Kenya are a nomadic people who believe in living in balance with the environment and live by the tenet, “a poor man shames us all.” Mutual support is imperative in their culture, and no one is allowed to go without food, shelter, or hospitality—something the whole world could learn from. Take a page from the Gabra and go on a nomadic journey through your neighborhood, bringing with you as much food and water as you can carry along with cards with phone numbers and addresses for local shelters. Bring sustenance, hydration, and support to anyone in need you find, and document your journey including how far you traveled and how many people you helped along. Anyone appearing in the video must give permission.
175 / PHOTO OR VIDEO / 41 POINTS / LOCATION-BASED. Do something you’ve always been told you can’t, or shouldn’t, do while at (or outside) the Forbidden Corner in Coverham, England.
176 / PHOTO / 68 POINTS / You look so festive with your “real avocado leather” purse or shoes made from avocado peels. - Inspired by Debbie M.
177 / PHOTO / 31 POINTS / Remember FloJo? Florence Griffith Joyner a world-record-setting Olympic athlete whose long, intricately painted fingernails made her an 80s style legend. Times marches on, and now instead of FloJo, we’ve got BoJo—but style trends endure. Paint a portrait of Boris Johnson, FloJo style—on your excessively long acrylic pinky nail.
178 / VIDEO / 28 POINTS / When you want to say something sweet to your loved one, you always use s’mores code.
179 / VIDEO / 90 POINTS / Walking on water is so 2,000 years ago--but it’s a timeless tradition. Construct shoes that allow someone to walk on water. You may not be standing on anything that’s under the water and the water must be at least 6 feet deep. You must be in a lake, pond, river or ocean. NOT a swimming pool. You must take at least 6 steps. No stilts in the water. No super shallow water.
180 / VIDEO / 41 POINTS / Create a 6 ft by 6 ft painting using only your body, paint, and a white sheet for a canvas. Bonus points if you manage to create representational art. - Kamila B.
181 / VIDEO / 36 POINTS / On today’s segment of your cooking show, we learn how to make your world-renowned recipe for dessert haggis.
182 / PHOTO / 16 POINTS / You know that feeling, when there's a word on the tip of your tongue but you just can't seem to say it? Show us that word. On the tip of your tongue. - @baileysaurusrex
183 / VIDEO / 31 POINTS / My favorite poet, Mary Oliver, passed away recently. In tribute, make a video showcasing the top highlights of your team’s week and end it with the quote “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” - Inspired by The Plaid Fox
184 / PHOTO / 63 POINTS / We've seen the pictures of dogs catching treats by German photographer Christian Vieler. Let's see a high-speed photo of your teammate catching treats in the same style and photographic detail. -Kandace
185 / PHOTO / 28 POINTS / SIDE-BY-SIDE. Hasan Minhaj rightly points out that there are many places in the US (and the world) with offensive names. We’re all for a good Assbutt, North Dakota or ****, Michigan, but if it’s racist or marginalizes a group we’re opposed. Find a place on the map or a street name that celebrates a known racist or slave-holder or war criminal or simply a place name that uses a derogatory term and petition to have it changed to an inoffensive alternative. If you’re in the US, this is where you can start and if you’re abroad, seek out your local organization that manages names of cities, towns, and locations. Submit a screenshot of your proposal, then put your petition here so other teams can sign yours. Finally, make sure you sign at least 5 other teams’ petitions (you’ll find all the petitions here.)
186 / VIDEO / 35 POINTS / It’s not just for fine dining anymore... At a fast-food establishment, get a grill cook to create a McAmuse-Bouche and serve it to a waiting, unsuspecting customer.
187 / VIDEO / 104 POINTS / TIMELAPSE. In Japan, there is a fad of polishing aluminum foil into a perfectly polished ball. You just topped that with your wad of aluminum foil-turned-perfectly polished bust of your favorite celebrity. Tweet an image of the final product to your celebrity crush tagging #GISH, then submit the image and include the link to the tweet in the comments section of your submission.
188 / PHOTO / 69 POINTS / A menstrual Pad-alecki. Create a menstrual product bust of Jared Padalecki... and make sure his hair really "flows." Then, donate at least an equal number of products to a women's shelter. (We don’t have to see you donating: just include your donations receipt somewhere in the image by your sculpture.)
189 / PHOTO OR VIDEO / 49 POINTS / We're not saying the cast of Supernatural is hot, but your fumage portrait of a Supernatural actor or actress speaks for itself. Smokin'! (Be super careful with this one- and have a fire extinguisher at the ready just in case. Remember, GISH doesn't pay medical bills and you're not allowed to hurt yourself - or anyone or anything else. If you can't be sure of that, pick a different item. (Post your video to the actor depicted).
190 / PHOTO / 229 POINTS / Evolution of the selfie: A person with an iPhone taking a selfie next to a person with a point-and-shoot camera who is taking a photo of a person with a Polaroid camera who is taking a picture of a person with a 35mm camera who is taking a photo of a person with a daguerreotype camera taking a picture of a person with a camera obscura taking a picture of someone painting a self-portrait. This should be a single photo, not photos from each camera.
191 / PHOTO / 0 POINTS / We will post an ambitious charity item that we will all collaborate on together shortly. Get ready!
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31st Oct 2019
after a 3 year long drought, guess who the thirst brought back. okay, really, what the hell just happened???
so, 2 weeks ago this lady walked into the shop and me, unassuming, thought she was just another customer. that is until she literally would not leave. speaking to my grandmum who wasn’t really paying her any attention. fuck did the interaction get to me this much that i have to write it down? once again, what the hell!!!!!
ANYWaY, the conversation was directed towards me and the polite soul that i am, entertained it with little interest. glenn who was also there was more interested that i thought she would leave me alone. she’s already got somebody, should be enough for a quota. buuut she talked my ear off and it turns out it was another money transfer app and so on, contract but with no commitment, no downpayment, fees.. and ya girl was sold, whatever.
whilst all this was going down, sis kept touching my arm?? like? every few minutes and giggling and i definitely was ????? ok? but like, whatever, saw messages when she unlocked her phone that there’s a guy . i say this like i’m upset at not having a chance but girl, i’m not even attracted to the woman? so what the hell.
a signed contract and explained mechanics later, she’s off and said she’d whatsapp me. to which she did. now back to present time.
this second meeting, she definitely was more forward. right before she left, i tried making small talk. knowing she just had flown in, i asked until when her stay was. of course, her being her, didn’t answer my question. well, with another question of her own. “why?”
this caught me off guard because what was i supposed to say. uhh, just wondering? oh boy, did she take it and ran with it, “bakit, labas tayo? joke hahaha ano inom?” as she jokingly tried being discreet about it as my grandmum was 5 feet away. i replied “di ako umiinom eh lol” and she did not buy that one bit. then we proceeded to laugh some more like h u h ?
some clarification for future me stumbling by this post: tbh it’s more of the thrill of getting such reactions from her and the fact that i wasn’t even trying to flirt. definitely made me smile though, knowing that i must have some sort of game or exude something. not to mention she’s mid-twenties to early thirties. would’ve been hot if she were my type.
unrelated more innocent news, before she arrived, tita lieza was there for a good hour or 2. started off by helping get her freebie to work until religion was brought up, and she took a field day with the learning of my atheism. apparently to understand her children more, who don’t go to church either. lots of hard hitting questions, but after she left and i’ve given it some more thought, it’s actually kind of heartwarming.
10 years later and thursday still might be my favourite day.
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Halls Creek (almost) to Katherine, 15-17 June
Tuesday, 15 June
We were preparing the van to move on when I got a call from Toyota in Katherine where I had made an online booking on Friday night for a car service. They have a 7-week waiting list – do I want to add our car to the list? No thank you, I will look elsewhere. I tried Toyota in Kununurra – their wait-list is only a bit over 6 weeks – but again, no thanks! I hadn’t tried Halls Creek where we had the car in a few days ago because they had told me that their mechanics were out of town so their workshop would be closed all week. I just rang them to see if they had any other suggestions and they said it was an easy service and one mechanic was there who could do the job if we came in at 1pm. They had fewer bookings because their main mechanics were away so we got in without delay. They had already promised to make time to replace an Anderson Plug on the van for us as we left town so it was easy to add the service too. We were delighted to get the service done: a few hundred clicks earlier than necessary, but certainly better than 4 or 5000 clicks over given the nature of our travels.
As soon as the service was complete and we had let some air out of our tyres, we topped up with fuel and hit the road at 3.15 pm. We were heading out on the Duncan Road – yet another iconic stock route, very bumpy with steep, deep dips and crests and constant corrugations, but not as horrific as some we have driven recently. Our maximum speed was restricted to about 55 to 60 kph due to the dips – as well as quite a few rough water crossings.
We passed the China Wall as soon as we were on the gravel but didn’t get out of the car – just stopped and looked. We visited it more closely last time we were here – while waiting to get the van towed to Kununurra to get its axle replaced. It is a remarkable white quartz wall up to 6 metres high that runs for over 100 kilometres in a more-or-less straight line – amazing stuff, but we were suitably amazed 4 years ago and kept driving. A little further on was Old Halls Creek that we also explored at length last time we were here. It is the site of the original township and is quite extensive (probably a bit bigger than Farina that I discussed in a post several weeks ago), some of it is moderately well preserved, but most of it is just dilapidated ruins or worse. Once the residents leave and it becomes a tourist destination, there is obviously no reason to spend money on maintenance so the whole edifice collapses – if it didn’t, I am not sure how many tourists would bother visiting. Again, we stopped and looked from the Road, but then kept going.
We only did 42 kilometres for the day and camped in wonderful gravel pit. (We have had some wonderful nights in gravel pits!!!) We were expecting to find a place called Palm Springs (hopefully, with no luxury high-rises, 5-car garages and casinos) but saw an inviting side road that took us out of sight of the main track and we camped there for the night. It was very special! I went for a walk to the top of a craggy hill near the caravan to take some photos and saw some Rainbow Bee-eaters among other things. The whole area is covered with green spinifex so walking is sometimes painful, but the view was certainly worth it. The gravel pit was in a green valley (almost lush by local standards) with a spectacular red stone ridge and associated cliff running for at least a kilometre above it. Quite beautiful.
We sat outside for our Happy Hour with an excellent red, great nibbles, a fantastic sunset, extraordinary fishbone clouds and superb company, surrounded by birdsong in some of the most specky country we have seen. We were looking at the silhouette of a beautiful drooping tree just in front of us when the skyline behind it started to move – and a big old kangaroo hopped from centre stage to exit right! A cool breeze, glorious solitude (except for the world’s most wonderful lover), a velvet sky splashed with glittering diamonds, embedded in nature…….. How could it possibly get any better?
Wednesday, 16 June
We woke a little later than usual for some reason. It was almost full light when I opened my eyes and a wake-up coffee was soon on the way. We both seemed a little reluctant to start the day so sat up in bed and did more than our usual quota of puzzles - but all good things must come to an end and time and breakfast waits for no man.
We ate and did the dishes and were all ready to go when we decided to explore the area a little more as I did last night before moving on. We climbed the nearby hill again, eschewing the spinifex with only moderate success and we were on our way again.
The whole area is a hodgepodge of red stony ridges, green spinifex, beautiful white-trunked (and other) trees, picturesque lumpy hills popping out of the plain at random, rolling pastoral country, craggy rocks – a truly wonderful place to visit. No wonder so many people come to visit and never go home.
After only a couple of kilometres, we found the place we had been looking for the previous evening – Palm Springs! Not too glitzy, but a lovely little area at the side of the road with a very small creek fed by a very small waterfall (one of the springs?), but with enough birds to keep me busy for half an hour or so. The Yellow-tinted Honeyeaters were the best.
It was a great little area and we took a few pics, but we still think our hidden camping spot out of sight of the road last night was better. It gave us some wonderful privacy, and solitude that we wouldn’t have had immediately beside the roadway at Palm Springs.
A few clicks further on, we saw the turnoff to Sawpit Gorge so off we went. It was only four kilometres in - but four kilometres back out again with virtually nowhere to turn around. (Reversing the caravan 4 clicks on that terrain was simply not an option!!!) We did all sorts of manoeuvres to turn the car and van around – and then undid them all when we couldn’t quite get around without completely jack-knifing the rig. We eventually backed far enough into a partially cleared spot to turn around and off we went without exploring the Gorge at all. We were just glad to be out of there after the trauma of turning the van around. Then, perhaps a hundred metres up the hill, we found a place where we could have parked and turned relatively easily, but there were no warning signs and then it was too late.
This whole area is spectacular. It is very hilly with hundreds of dramatic rocky jump-ups, often heavily vegetated and with beautiful, graceful trees. There is a lot of vicious spinifex, but also extensive areas of softly-waving grassy fronds. For kilometres, there was a uniform mantle of soft creamy 30-centimetre high grass, interspersed every 3 or 4 metres with a 2-metre spike of some sort of recently-deceased reeds. The topography was outstanding: colourful rocky outcrops, undulating hills and steep cliffs, but the trees and grasses were also quite arresting – so different from what we are accustomed to.
The rest of the day was fairly uneventful. After yesterday’s bumpy drive with dips and crests, the road improved. It was still very corrugated with rocky patches and numerous shallow creek crossings – deepest probably 35-40 cm deep – but we were still rarely up to 60 kph maximum. We eventually reached the point where Duncan’s Road turned north and where we turned south onto another stock route, the Buntine Highway – hardly recognisable as a highway, consistently corrugated and sometimes barely wheel-track wide. This track took us back into the Northern Territory again with no Quarantine or Covid notices – but they came a little later.
We only drove 200 kilometres for the day and camped just off the road near a windmill and bore and sat outside the van with cold drinks and nibbles as the sun went down and the heat of the day was blown away by a gentle cooling breeze. There was a bit of dust in the van but not too bad and we are looking forward to some bitumen and slightly faster speeds tomorrow afternoon.
Thursday 17 June
So much for faster speeds! It was pretty rough for half the day, but it certainly improved once we hit the bitumen – not too hot in some places, barely wheel-track wide, but it improved the further we went.
As to internet speeds, the opposite occurred. We had a good signal at Kalkaringi but no signal at all in Top Springs tonight and the people in the Roadhouse say that Vodaphone is the only provider that covers this area. Good old Telstra fails again.
So where are we and how did we get here? We are in Top Springs at the intersection of yet another
part of the Binns Track (part of the Savannah Way that we drove end-to-end four years ago) and the Buntine Highway (aka the Buntine Goat-track in places).
We drove 330 kms today, half on gravel (superb to terrible at times) and half on often quite poor bitumen, mostly barely wide enough to keep all wheels on the paved surface. Almost all drivers we saw today were really good though, getting completely off the road to give us priority - something I have tried to do most of the time, but have rarely seen others doing it before today. It is far better to vacate the road, even to stop, and let the oncoming maniacs roar through on the bitumen than to drive into the wall of stones thrown up by them. And depending on wind direction (why is it always blowing into my side of the car?), we have to stop for up to 30 seconds every time a car passes anyway so we can see the way forward and not drive into a possible second oncoming vehicle.
Today, we drove quite a few kilometres at 20 kph or less due to the vicious corrugations. Faster than that and I had no control at all. The brakes were entirely ineffective and the steering wasn’t much better because no two wheels were on the road at any time. It was horrendous until we got to the roadworks where two graders were carving out a beautifully smooth passage for us, albeit on the wrong side of the road - but out here, there is rarely a right side: the right side is the one that’s not quite as bad as the other side, i.e., the side that everyone uses. Of course, that changes frequently, so we zigzagged back and forth (as did any other vehicles), just hoping that we didn’t zig when we should have zagged or vice versa.
We drove through another area of dramatic jump-ups – small sharp hills erupting out of entirely flat grasslands. I mentioned The Granites on the Tanami and a possible extension of them on the way to Halls Creek and we encountered another similar few square kilometres again today.
We ate our lunch at Kalkaringi, formerly Wave Hill, where we tried unsuccessfully to find a workshop to which we were directed to put a bit more air in our tyres - so we drove the next 170 kms with slightly lower pressures than intended. We also tried to find the Police to comply with the requirement to complete a Covid form immediately we crossed back into the NT but the local cop was out of town. Next cop will be in Katherine tomorrow, but maybe by then, the urgency to complete the form may have abated. (And it had! Approaching Katherine there was a roadside sign asking interstate travellers coming from a declared hotspot to ring the local health authorities – nothing more!)
One good thing about Kalkaringi was the strong internet signal that allowed us to download close to 50 emails each while we ate our lunch, very few of which warranted any action.
We then drove on to Top Springs – bitumen all the way and set up behind the Roadhouse with good water, hot and cold showers, power, but no internet. We were hot and dusty so went for a drink at the Roadhouse bar and the barman recognised us. We had been chatting with him and his girlfriend, backpackers from Germany, when we were all exploring the Henbury Craters south of Alice six weeks or so ago. It is a small world and we may cross paths again on our way back west.
It was great to have a shower and to plug the fridges into AC power overnight as well as mains pressure water. And I even added a couple of bird species to our trip list. It currently stands at 137 including six additions to our Life-list.
Despite our drink in the bar (and one in the van with the fan on), we were still hot so we ate our dinner outside, augmented with some hot chips straight from the bar. They cooked a batch specially for us, all double-fried, and just enough for 3 meals each.
And after dinner we watched the very final episode of White Collar, all six series of which have accompanied us most nights since we left home. We enjoyed the series and I am delighted to report that ‘the gooduns won’.
That just left us with an easy run into Katherine tomorrow, but I will leave that for another post.
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2020
Hello. I hope you and yours are well. As is tradition, below are my selections for albums and songs of the year. As I have yet to receive a reply from you, dear reader, sincerely asking to unsubscribe, you are therefore the proud recipient of the list once more! I’ve altered the format from 5 tracks each month because, as I suspect many of you did, I went into a nostalgic hole for large chunks of this year (for me this consisted of at least two months of nothing but Funkadelic, which does mean my personalised algorithm is now ace), but also when I looked back at when many of these tracks were released it was front heavy for the first half of the year – another body blow to the supposed “monthly” mailer. I even considered not writing my one-liners, but where is the fun in that? Furthermore, trying to keep the long list to 60 tracks in total (equivalent to 5 per month) proved overly frustrating, so I’ve included some extras, especially as this year felt 13 month long. Notwithstanding said excuses, enough preamble, on with the list! Let me know what you think and do send me your own selections. Lots of love xx TOP 10s TOP 10 ALBUMS Baxter Dury – The Night Chancers Mildlife – Automatic SAULT – Untitled (Black Is) Alice Boman – Dream On Kanaan – Odense Sessions Lightning Orchestra – Source And Deliver Yves Tumor – Heaven To A Tortured Mind The Strokes – The New Abnormal Woods – Strange to Explain Erland Cooper – Hether Blether TOP 10 TRACKS Malena Zavala – En la Noche Caribou – You & I Yves Tumor – Kerosene! Puscifer – Apocalyptical Mildlife – Automatic King Hannah – Meal Deal SAULT – Wildfires // Bow [yes, there are two tracks there] Kanaan – Urgent Excursions To the Tundrasphere Frazey Ford – Golden Jessie Ware – What’s Your Pleasure? NEW MUSIC ‘MONTHLY’ MAILER Spotify Link Here Holy Fuck – Near Mint What better way to kick off a retrospective look at 2020 than with ‘Holy Fuck’ Alice Boman – It’s OK, It’s Alright Really love this album and this pick is a real downer, spectral and haunting but also touching Smoke Fairies – Out Of The Woods Jessica and Katherine still delivering a decade on, the chorus guitar riff is tops Nicolas Godin – The Border Air’s Nicolas Godin doing his best detached friendly robot, mais bien sur Moses Boyd – BTB Vibrant, propulsive, energetic, gotta move! The Men – Wading In Dirty Water Avid readers will know I’m a fan of these guys and this one rides a familiar Crazy Horse choogle Tame Impala – Breathe Deeper Funky bass, piano flourishes, solid synths, all groove Kanaan – Urgent Excursions To the Tundrasphere Ok, here it is, there’s always going to be at least one – this is the 14 min space rock jam – skip/enjoy! Frazey Ford – Golden This production is right up my street, soulful vocals swoop around tight rhythm section and hammond keys, an analogue dream Caribou – You and I From the analogue to a digital master, man this beat is catchy Pulled By Magnets – Cold Regime People Die File this under terrifying experimental jazz Jonathan Wilson – Riding The Blinds JW doing that 6/8 minor ballad thang Baxter Dury – Say Nothing Another album I loved this year and could have picked any number of tracks, so here’s a quote from Baxter: “My craft and in a sense a certain style has been perfected and it’s easy… I don’t have to do it again basically. I don’t want to hear another man talking over an orchestral background.” Ha! U.S. Girls – 4 American Dollars Slick funky, soulful, classic strings, building into a brilliant outro with great lyrics Deeper – Lake Song Detached vibe ala Joy Division / The Cure done through a Pavement lens with serious downer lyrics Pretty Lightning – Voo Doo Boo Swampy dirge guitar grooves Tamikrest – Anha Achal Wad Namda Another mailer favourite, Touareg guitar wizards Tony Allen, Hugh Masekela – Never (Lagos Never Gonna Be the Same) Master drummer who sadly passed away earlier this year just after this release, and two years after master trumpeter Masekela’s own passing, this track is a buzzing tribute to Fela Myrkur – House Carpenter Danish black metaller does Scandinavian folk: bright and beautiful Sufjan Stevens, Lowell Brams – The Runaround A weird album, even by Sufjan standards, but I found these electronic ambient sounds strangely comforting R.A.P. Ferreira – ABSOLUTES Rhythm & poetry The Weeknd – Blinding Lights What can I add to the smash of 2020? Catchy af Porridge Radio – Long Indie banger, with a decidedly angry, bitter, playful lyrics Cleo Sol – Her Light If online research is to be believed Cleo is part of the collective in SAULT with producer Inflo, but this album is standalone brilliance without knowing that, this is pure vintage soul vibes Malena Zavala – En la Noche I returned to this track more than any other this year, the rhythm, the vocals, the melody, the production, even if I have to use google translate to fully understand the lyrics Tom Misch, Yussef Dayes – Lift Off Molten guitar, groovy arrangements, and plenty of business from Dayes Yves Tumor – Kerosene! An absolute belter, amazing vocals, groove and crescendo perfection Warm Digits, The Orielles – Shake The Wheels Off (feat. The Orielles) Immediate synth pop, indie dancefloor (with some solid cowbell) EOB – Brasil First solo venture for Ed, acoustic folk gives way to rumbling bass banger, would very much like to experience this in a field Other Lives – Hey Hey I Grand rocking orchestral aural assault with hints of Morricone Elephant Tree – Sails Fulfilling the heavy dirge quota, that hit at 2:33 is a proper head in the speakers moment The Strokes – Why Are Sundays So Depressing This album snuck up on me, and then I found myself listening to it non-stop, this track such an ear worm Houses of Heaven – In Soft Confusion I think the right descriptor is darkwave – insistent drum machine, reverb soaked vocals, industrial production, gloomy pop hooks Joel Sarakula – Don’t Give Up on Me Operating in a dangerous space between homage and pastiche, groove and parody, this is smooth easy yacht rock Donny Benét – Second Dinner Following hot on the heels of pastiche, this time with tongue firmly in cheek, The Don and his 80s reverence lolz Perfume Genius – Whole Life Completely arresting, the lyrics an absolute gut punch, yet still gorgeous Jake Blount – Beyond This Wall From the press release, this album “features fourteen carefully chosen tracks drawn from Blount’s extensive research of Black and Indigenous mountain music. The result is an unprecedented testament to the voices paradoxically obscured yet profoundly ingrained into the Appalachian tradition” – this contemporary instrumental is a superb banjo and fiddle tune Holy Hive – Broom Formed by the drummer from the Dap Tones and inspired by being on tour with Lee Fields, this gentle soul, complete with tremolo guitar and horns, really floats Woods – Where Do You Go When You Dream A welcome return to form, this mellotron infused number is beautifully catchy Erland Cooper – Linga Holm Dramatic piano and strings from an altogether wild and wonderful album Mystery Jets – Screwdriver Loud / quiet dynamic, bombastic riffs, seething verses, the Jets turn it up to eleven to fight with love Jehnny Beth – Flower Another track where hushed verses give way to chorus explosions, serious tension and intensity Hinds – Good Bad Times Love that thudding bass drum, big stomping pop Norah Jones – Were You Watching? Smooth but haunting, with added Celtic flavour Braids – Young Buck Bleeps and bloops, melancholic poppy vocals, and the damnedest catchiest chorus Jessie Ware – What’s Your Pleasure? Is it getting hot in here? No further questions LA Priest – What Moves Quirky strutting electro, sleek yet squelchy SAULT – Wildfires + SAULT, Michael Kiwanuka – Bow Double billing because I couldn’t make a choice (plus when I realised the rhythms flow perfectly into one another it’s like it’s one song) Run The Jewels – a few words for the firing squad (radiation) Again, difficult to choose which track on this album; this is pure fire with sax and all GUM – The Thrill Of Doing It Right Turn this feel good banger up! Such a big hit when the horns drop at the start The Vacant Lots - Fracture Catchy, icy, synths (and Desert Sands label mates by the by) A.A. Williams – Melt Enchanting slow-burning, stirring post-rock, with a wonderful, soaring crescendo Lightning Orchestra – For Those Who Are Yet To Be Born A late discovery, but immediately catapulted to the top, self-described “psychedelic booty-shake” Kamaal Williams – Save Me Almost chose ‘Pigalle’ but the tight push drumming on this won out, hard funky jazz stylings of the Herbie variety Victoria Monét – Dive Lavish and groovy, and as Monét puts it: “They say most humans are about 60% water, but I believe women must be 69% so dive in baby." Secret Machines – Talos’ Corpse Genuinely so happy to see Brandon and Josh back and still with the big sounds All Them Witches – Enemy of My Enemy Relentlessly heavy, all the chops and described by one reviewer as the love child of TOOL, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath and Kyuss; I love this band Fenne Lily – Birthday Beautiful and bruised Mildlife – Automatic Another new discovery, in the pocket cosmic goodness and much as it pains me to quote from NME I can’t think of a better description than ‘Mobius strip funk’ Puscifer – Apocalyptical Maynard in the video for this track is an indelible image; massive swaggering Intruder-esque drums, angular menacing guitars, Carina’s ethereal edgy vocals, Maynard’s gritted teeth whispers, and apposite apocalyptical lyrics Matt Berninger – Loved So Little Confessional moody acoustic conjuring up Western-esque vistas Goldensuns – Denandra Moore Californian sun-drenched lo-fi groove, for fans of Conan Mockasin and Night Moves Frankie and the Witch Fingers – Cavehead F*cking excellent west coast garage psych melange and the B,D,E ascend at 3:10 is nod central King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard – The Hungry Wolf Of Fate Genre bending brilliance once again from down under, this cut a heavy, doomy Sabbath assault King Hannah – Meal Deal Ominous drone opens into an acoustic tale of buying a flat with a spider in the bath, Hannah’s sinister smoky sultry vocals draw you in, before some menacing low frequency dirge guitar and drums kick in at 1:30… By this point on first listen I was already hooked, but then comes a great walloping Angel Olsen ‘Sister’ style crescendo, a glorious find at the end of the year (props to Manuel) HONOURABLE MENTIONS Elephant Stone – I See You Sam Lee, Elizabeth Frazer – The Moon Shines Bright Priscilla Ermel – Martim Pescador Rheinzand – Blind Dogleg – Fox The Flaming Lips, Deap Lips – Home Thru Hell The Heliocentrics – Hanging By A Thread Midwife – 2018 Chicano Batman – Color My life Trace Mountains – Rock & Roll Peach Pit – Shampoo Bottles Buscabulla – Vámono Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever – Cars In Space Jess Williamson – Wind on Tin Thiago Nassif, Arto Lindsay – Plástico The Vacant Lots – Endless Rain Nubya Garcia – Stand With Each Other (Feat. Ms MAURICE, Cassie Kinoshi, & Richie Seivwright) Juanita Stein – L.O.T.F. Carlton Melton – Waylay Paul McCartney – Long Tailed Winter Bird
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When Sheeraz Sheikh looked at real estate to rebuild shooting career | More sports News
New Post has been published on https://jordarnews.in/when-sheeraz-sheikh-looked-at-real-estate-to-rebuild-shooting-career-more-sports-news/
When Sheeraz Sheikh looked at real estate to rebuild shooting career | More sports News
NEW DELHI: Brick by brick, shooter-cum-real estate consultant Sheeraz Sheikh is building his life after financial constraints once made him a college dropout and a man on the verge of quitting a “very expensive” sport. Sheikh, a proven India skeet shooter now for the past five years, has no qualms in accepting that his real estate business supported his shooting career after a tough phase almost a decade ago. “Of our 16 years of living in Gurugram, we have been in the real estate business. I am into real estate business because you need support in shotgun shooting as it’s very expensive,” Sheikh told PTI during an interview. The 31-year-old on Wednesday became one of the first shooters to hit the range amid the COVID-19 pandemic after the go-ahead from the Sports Authority of India (SAI). Without big money, there is little scope of a career in skeet shooting. And his Real Estate company helped when he needed it the most to continue his career in the sport. The Gurugram-based company is run by him and his three elder brothers. The man who knows it all, elaborated: “One cartridge costs you around Rs 30, so if I shoot 400-500 cartridges a day it will come to about minimum Rs 12000 and then you clay target cost (Rs 6 per clay target) besides fuel. “This is without a coach, add a coach and the amount will come to about Rs 25000 to Rs 30000 a day for personal training.” Sheikh’s coach Ennio Falco charges Euro 200 an hour but the India shooter says that’s still a reasonable sum as some of the other coaches command close to Euro 500 for the same amount of time’s coaching. While his life and career both came back on track thanks to real estate, the situation on the business front is far from good at the moment due to the pandemic. He said the real estate sector has been the most affected by the unprecedented global health crisis. “We guys are most affected, banks are not supporting. About 70 percent of real estate is stopped and a lot of employees have lost their jobs. “Our business has suffered as the majorly affected are the developers, brokers.” Like with many other business organisations, the number of employees has come down in his firm. “There were 20 staff in my office earlier and now we have just 5-6 people as employers have gone back due to the uncertainty caused by the pandemic.” Sheikh, who is very optimistic of the industry sailing through this tough phase, thanked Mohit Arora, the owner of Supertech, who has been sponsoring him since 2017. Returning to training after a five-month forced layoff, Asian Shooting Championship bronze medallist Sheikh, who once aspired to be a cricketer having played at the U-16 level, said it all seemed like he was starting everything all over again. “It felt like a new sport altogether. It was like starting from the basics. It will take some days to get back to that level. It’s a new feeling for me,” Sheikh said. He was least worried while entering the Dr Karni Singh Shooting Range as all the SOPs were strictly adhered to, with SAI coach Vikram Chopra overseeing everything. Mairaj Ahmad Khan was another skeet shooter to join Sheikh at the facility that has six shotgun ranges with only two marksmen training on the day thanks to social distancing. He is part of National Rifle Association of India‘s (NRAI) core group of 34 shooters, including 15 Tokyo Olympics quota holders, who will be training keeping the showpiece in mind.
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Stuck Inside Media Diary Week 3
People ask me (no one asks me) all the time why I don’t include the music or podcasts I listen to or books I read when I put this list together once a week. It’s pretty simple: I’m a huge dumbass.
Sunday, April 5
Better Call Saul, [Season 4] “Wiedersehen”, “Winner”, [Season 5] “Magic Man”
This was a real milestone for me, made me feel real good in a very inconsequential way. I got caught up to a show that is currently airing on TV;it’s true what they say: it’s a sprint not a marathon. It feels silly to say or compare BTS to Breaking Bad, and acting as if you can only like one by saying X is better than Y. The closest comparison that I feel “comfortable” with making is that this is just a real Cheers vs. Frasier debacle. Both are close to, if not, model examples of their type and no one is gonna look down on you if you like them. Though there is a certain type of snobbishness to being a bigger Frasier/Better Call Saul fan-very white collar attribute.
Lady Macbeth, Oldroyd 2016 [as of now this is available on Hulu]
So I really only watched this because Florence Pugh is in this and I saw somewhere on twitter (what a source!) that it was essential viewing for Pugh-heads. Or something like that;I’m probably paraphrasing. Full disclosure: I have an enormous crush on Florence Pugh. Did this influence how much I liked this movie? I liked it fine, at a certain point you kinda go “I get it” and that’s about as much substance as it has, but man oh man, Florence Pugh is really good in this. Curious how much of this played a part in Ari Aster wanting her in Midsommar which she.....might just be too good for? I dunno man, there’s a lot of other things I’d rather do than talk about that movie. It reminded me of Revolutionary Road. How so? My senior year of college I borrowed it from a friend and when we had lunch like three weeks later and I gave it back to her she asked how I liked it and my honest to God reaction was “heh, man, how about that ending” which is 100% not the answer you want to give to a woman you have an innocent crush on who lent you her copy of Revolutionary Road.
Monday, April 6
After Hours, Scorsese 1985
I’ve owned this for a little over a year saving it for a special occasion or like when I feel like I’ve owed myself a little treat (that’s how much I believe in Martin Scorsese) so I watched it on my birthday. And because I am one of those assholes who posts what they’re watching or listening to on Instagram I had done that with this and one of my buddies who I just don’t text back because I’m busy with nothing and am bad at it (Cole and Max amongst others, this is for you!) said “the Safdies owe their whole shit to this and that’s okay.” Couldn’t’ve said it better myself. (Not since Uncut Gems have I felt a very specific kind of *wired* after a movie; granted it hasn’t been very long since I saw Uncut Gems, but let’s consider this one of those if you know you know things)
Tuesday, April 7
Killing Them Softly, Dominik 2012 [as of now this is available on Netflix]
Subtle is not a word I would use with some of the themes of this movie, but that just doesn’t really matter. This movie’s rad as hell and it doesn’t make a ton of sense that I hadn’t seen it until last week. Like, what a tense goldmine of character actors and this might be the first time I’ve heard Mendelsohn speak in his natural speaking voice (the episode of Girls that he’s in where he plays Jessa’s dad might actually be the first, but he’s supposed to be British in that and it’s been a while since I’ve seen that episode, so I’m just guess off the top of my head that he put a twist on his voice). Like Sam Shepard is the 8th guy in this movie! What a great audition tape to submit to Fincher.
The Plot Against America, “Part 1”
David Simon is my favorite dramatist in Television and it takes a lot of effort for me to keep with his shows. I don’t know why. The first time I watched The Wire I watched like 5 or 6 episodes and took maybe a month long break and picked it back up. He makes ear-worms, stuff that get’s lodged in my brain as responding very positively to what he makes (the same thing happened with Treme [never finished], Show Me A Hero [never finished] and The Deuce [never finished]) and I really don’t want it to happen again. He just tends to make stuff you have to be very dialed in for and my brain, for the most part, is mush a lot of the time. I will finish this though. Also I’ve never read the book (but I definitely own it!) so I don’t know how it holds up to source material blah, blah, blah.
Wednesday, April 8
The Running Man, Glaser 1987
I just wanted to watch Total Recall. This was the next best thing available on my DVR. It is not Total Recall (I’m sure it’s a very well known story and I just don’t know it, but is there a story about why Ventura doesn’t fight Arnold at the end? Seemed weird). Also Mick Fleetwood is in this and plays an interracial part to the resistance and his “character’s” name is “Mic.”
Thursday, April 9
Better Call Saul “50% Off”
Brooklyn Nine-Nine “Valloweaster”
For the record, I’ve been watching B99 all season and I just haven’t thought to add this. Same deal with Top Chef (see below). Have loved this season so far, but they’ve hit their stride (which they always do) in the last three weeks. Love that they still incorporate the Halloween heist in different capacities even though they don’t have episodes in the Fall anymore.
Top Chef Season 17, Ep. 4
Great episode. Sometimes it takes Top Chef about 3 or 4 episodes to really get going and the lower tiered competitors are starting to get on the nerves of higher tier chefs and the sense of urgency, re: competition finally has a fire lit under it. I also love that when this show first started whenever they had to do a vegetarian challenge the general consensus was “ah fuck this, I don’t know how to do that.”
Onward, Scanlon 2020 [as of now this is available on Disney+]
I started watching this at like 1 in the morning, because I needed to watch something for the day, because I’m trying to keep this streak going. Whatever, it sucks that Pixar has to meet a quota or something now-a-days (have I mentioned that I had to travel in the snow when I went to school and that it was up-hill both ways). I guess if there was one for them that they could kind of just shoo off to the Ploos early they got lucky that it was this one. Again, whatever.
Friday, April 10
Best Friends, Jewison 1982
Man, Goldie Hawn was great. Man, Burt Reynolds was an underrated comedic actor and also very hot.
Better Call Saul, “The Guy For This”
Saturday, April 11
Better Call Saul, “Namaste”, “Dedicado A Max”, “Wexler V. Goodman”, “Jmm”, “Bagman”
I’m gonna miss my binge days of BTS, but again, this feels like a real accomplishment that I got here. Love this damn show.
The Untouchables, De Palma 1987
Kevin Costner has such cop-face in this movie and it’s almost like Andrew Garfield in Silence: I don’t know if I particularly like it and this is such a punchable face that I have to stare at for so long, but maybe that’s the point?
I made a DeNiro Top 5 and I might have regrets now for making it before seeing this, because you rarely get to see unhinged Bobby D and it is fun. As fun as the “another coat of glaze” performance Connery has in this movie (that beat out Albert Brooks in Broadcast News, something 1987 Sam would’ve come unglued at). Fun movie that is so bizarrely lauded-maybe a perfect time capsule movie for when it came out. It also made me realize that De Palma is like a better Tim Burton, because he has better friends.
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ANYANKA BIO
BASICS
Full Name: Anya Christina Orientation: [ sweats nervously ] Emmanuella Jenkins, Aud ( originally ), Anyanka ( demonic ) Shipping availability: Fairly Open Age range: 18/20 - 1,000+ �� Occupation: Vengeance Demon ( former ), Muse Availability: Main Shop keep
Over a thousand years old, she was originally known as Aud and lived in Sweden. After cursing her unfaithful lover, Aud was approached by the demon D'Hoffryn with the offer of becoming an immortal demon and dedicating her life to vengeance. She accepted and was transformed into Anyanka, earning the title of Patron Saint of the Women Scorned as she spent a millennium granting dark wishes to the girlfriends and wives of men.
However, Anyanka met her downfall in 1998 when she took the guise of Anya Emerson and came to grant a wish in Sunnydale. Stripped of her demonhood by an alternate version of Rupert Giles, she lost her powers and was forced to live the rest of her life as the human Anya Emerson. Then later on, she invented the name Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins which she used from then on as a mortal human. She then worked for Giles and later took over his magic shop having proved to have a knack for business and retail backed by a thousand years of arcane knowledge.
SOME FUN CHARACTER NOTES
My Anya is more vocally knowledgable and proactive on the magic and demon side of things. She was a witch / magic practitioner before she was a demon and has only had more time to if not get stronger at least learn more magic. She also by nature of being a demon and knowing lots of them has a solid base of reference when it comes to “what demon are we dealing with this time?” she’s by no means an expert as there’s more kinds of demon than you can shake a stick at but she is one of the heavy hitters on the research end.
As for her magic strength and know how, I’d say on a whole she’s more knowledgable than the other magic users in the main cast thanks to being like a millennia older but how powerful she is really varies a lot. It depends on if she’s a demon currently and / or where she is in figuring her life out but generally she certainly wouldn’t be someone to sneeze at.
IMPORTANT LINKS
About Headcanons Interactions Meta Answered Meme replies Aesthetic
VERSES
MAIN
SEASON 3
Basically anything that happens after her arrival in “The Wish” she’s now Anya Emerson attending Sunnydale with no friends, no family and no clue how to people. Great for if you ever wondered “what the fuck was Anya doing like all of senior year before she dropped the ascension expo bomb and demanded Xander take her to prom???” because boy I’ve been thinking about that all the time.
SEASON 4
Basically anything that would fall in that season. Potentially up for some alterations later as I solidify things.
SEASON 5
Basically anything that would fall in that season. Potentially up for some alterations later as I solidify things.
SEASON 6
Basically anything that would fall in that season but once you hit “Hell’s Bells” shit goes WILDLY up in the air, allowing for the canon route or variations on how that went depending on how we want threads to go.
SEASON 7
Basically anything that would fall in that season up until well, you know. Potentially up for some alterations later as I solidify things.
AUs
NEVER BECAME HUMAN AGAIN
Became a demon as Aud and never reverted back, maybe Wish!Giles found another way to fix things, maybe Cordelia made a different wish, maybe she’s still trying to get Cordi to wish for something. Either way she’s still a demon and honestly knowing her luck and the luck of most fun demons in BTVS/ATS she’s still ended up tangled up in their bullshit somehow.
STAYED A DEMON THAT SECOND TIME
After turning back to her life as a vengeance demon Anya never becomes human again, regardless of how she might feel on the matter or her work. She is working furiously to meet her quotas while secretly trying to find a way out from D'Hoffryn’s thumb and be her own demon. She tries to still help the Scoobies out when she can, if they’ll let her.
DIDN’T DIE
the Post - S7 catch all ! basically for anything post series atm until I have a reason for more specific post series verses. She’s alive folks ! It was just a flesh wound !
ENTER THE WISHVERSE
the Alternate Universe created by Cordi’s “I wish Buffy had never come to Sunnydale” wish. Anya’s still a demon and living it up in this new crapshack world she helped make.
ALWAYS A HUMAN
Anyanka “Anya” Christina Emmanuella Jenkins has always been a Totally Normal Human Cis-Female™ and has never been a demon or anything like that. Born in Sweden, she moved to Sunnydale in highschool because of Parents and Business. Very Normal ! Definitely not an evil demon in any way nor ever has been !
VIKING TIMES
Back when she was Aud, the weird rabbit raising outsider no one liked who could do magic with a shitty cheating boyfriend in ye olde Sjornjost, Sweden. Generally disliked bc she was a woman with Opinions, no tact and poor social graces. Bitches still wanted her goods and services tho
GENERAL CROSSOVER - SPOOKY STUFF
Still retains the majority of her canon info like being from 860 and becoming a vengeance demon and possibly even becoming human again but with some of the more Buffy-specific stuff put to the side to better mesh with other paranormal / supernatural / fantasy fandoms / premises. Exact details will vary thread to thread.
GENERAL CROSSOVER - NO SPOOKIES
For when other muses are distinctly non-magical and meshing the two won’t really work well. Anya’s a Totally Normal Human Cis-Female™ if very odd and very spiteful. She owns an antique shop and studied museum shit in college. She’s hardcore.
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#760 SEVEN CHEERS for The Iron Lady as she turns SEVENty... :-)
Just as my mom Smt. Sanjeevini Rao turns 70 tomorrow ,here are 7 special moments which makes me feel proud of her. I call her The Iron Lady for these very special qualities. A gritty , focused and tough lady had a very special 70 years.
Moment 1 : Period 1984. Place Bhadravathi. Dad was in transferable job as he had moved to marketing role. We got transferred from Bangalore to Bhadravathi. Me and Seema joined St Charles school. Mom and Dad were curious to see how we would fare in school considering change of school is not always easy to adapt. I was in 2nd standard and Seema in 5th standard. St Charles was a very competitive school with loads of bright students. In mid term exams, we did well. Results were to be announced after festival holiday break. Mom had put in a great effort to get me accustomed to new syllabus and new school. St Charles had a tradition of announcing top 3 ranks of each class in morning assembly. This was to encourage the students. I was literally chatting my friend Ashit during the assembly when all of a sudden something shocking happened. They announced my name for 2nd rank. In our class, we had 2 students by my name. They had not announced initials. They again announced my name with Boloor tag to it. I was shocked more than surprised. My hands were almost trembling when I ran towards the stage. I had shock expression in my face even when I received marks card from principal. Seema also came 2nd in class in that exams. Mom was thrilled . Dad was even more as he felt a bit guilty of being transferred to Bhadravathi. He literally picked me and threw into the air. My head almost touched the roof the hall in the house. Well, fun just started here. Seema was always a student who would excel consistently. I was like Ravi Shastri, happy in hitting a few sixes and then get out of form 😉 In Nov exams, my rank dipped to 10th and in Dec exams to 23rd. During this period, my aunt Sharath was in Bhadravathi. As soon as I showed my marks card to mom, lecture started as expected from mom. I expected that as her oratory skills was like legendary Indira Gandhi. Hard hitting words with spot on points. I had my face covered in hands as I didn’t know whether to cry or laugh. She made a comment “ Your marks has fallen off the mountain, from the peak to the bottom. In next exam, I guess you would dig the ground and go further down !!”. Sharath aunty felt bad and tried to calm mom. I started getting a bit nervous. Things calmed post that. The way she expressed her opinion, I know she was more hurt that I scored less marks. Mom then didn’t say a thing for a week. She then prepared a daily time table of what to read. Seema on the other hand had secured first rank in both the exams. Mom never pressurized me by comparing to Seema. She knew both are of different mould. In today’s sporting world, She was Virat Kohli and I was a mere Rishab Pant with a few sixes here and there. I put in loads of effort post that. I managed to get 5th rank in final exams. This was my first face off with mom’s anger. I can relate to this anger even now. I am a bit tempered. Beneath anger, I knew she wanted me to do the best.
Moment 2 : A couple of years later, mom felt the need to work as it would improve the financial state of the house. She was always fond of teaching. She had done B.Sc in Maths and was even a rank holder. She decided to pursue B.Ed which would open up teacher roles for her. Unfortunately, there was no college in Bhadravathi which had this course. She enrolled into a college in Shimoga which was about 1 hour drive from Bhadravathi those days. So at the age of 38, she decided to do B.ED which was remarkable since she had to do on top of normal household work. She would get up at 5 AM, get household work done, then leave to Shimoga at 7 AM. She would return by 5 PM. She would have some assignments too. She would help me in my homework as well. This routine would go for 1 full year. It needed a lot of guts and determination to do this. By the time, she completed her B.Ed, dad came to home with news of being transferred again. Mom had the expression in her face which would say “ When one challenge is completed, other follows like a shadow!!”. We moved to Bangalore again !!!.
Moment 3 : Period 1988 to 1990. This was a phase we led a rapid life. I was super happy as our house was right in front of massive APS college ground. Mom happen to be teacher of the same school where Seema studied. Infact, she was Maths teacher of Seema for 9th and 10th standard. I was busy playing. The moment I return from school, I would rush to the ground. Mom and Seema would return from school together. This was period where Seema would win loads of awards. Mom was super proud of her. She won 2nd price in Hindi debate competition for whole of Karnataka which was splendid achievement. She won loads of awards in school competitions too. 2 moments brought maximum happiness to Mom during this phase. One was Seema winning Hindi debate competition and another was me winning 3rd prize in science exhibition. I enrolled my name at the last moment and didn’t have any idea what to present. Mom gave the idea of liquids getting heated faster than solid. Example was simple. Have a stand to place a cardboard box. Fill the box with water. Place a candle under the box with enough distance between them. Its observed that water catches fire faster than cardboard box. Mom gave me explanation points around it too which revolved around some molecular theory. I memorized it well as I had a knack of doing it. Judges were some college professors. 70 students had participated in it. Judges heard each student’s explanation. There were some interesting ones too like volcanic effect by my classmate Niranjan. I explained my part well. My only worry was that I had just 2 cardboard boxes. I had to use it smartly. I had to start the experiment just a few minutes before judges came to my seat. I did that well. Judges were impressed. I felt relieved. Post lunch, one of the teachers came and made 2 announcements. One was that parents and teachers would come around to see the displays between 3-5 PM IST. 2nd was the 3 winners. I was shocked more than surprised when they announced my name as 3rd place winner. It made my day. Mom couldn’t come to watch my experiment since she would return from school only 430 PM. I had a bigger issue in hand. I didn’t have any cardboard box left. I went around sweet shop near my house. He spared me 4 old boxes without charging a penny. We would constantly buy veg puff there. So he knew me well. Post 5 PM, I ran to house to announce my results. Mom was super happy. She couldn’t control her wide smile. She and Seema came for prize distribution later too. Actor Srinath was the chief guest that year. It was cool to receive the prize from him. Mom made science and Maths simple for me which helped a great deal in later years to come.
Moment 4 : In 1990, we got transferred again. This time to Madras. It took ages to get settled in the TN capital. I used to call it MAAADDDras with specific emphasis on Mad. I made good friends though but life style was so different. In school too, focus was all on studies. In the school I studied, there was no sports period as well. That’s when we as a family got really close. We literally became friends for each other. To top the pain, our TV had gone to maker’s factory for insurance claim. For 6 months we didn’t have TV. I literally followed 1990 world cup soccer on news paper only. Due to this, we had loads of time though. We used to go for long walks post dinner. We used to live in Ashoknagar which was really a good place. Mom got her job in school pretty fast. She directly approached principal of Jawahar Vidyalaya. They had a post open at that time. Her career really picked up from there. In initial years of tough life in Chennai, mom held us together. This was very critical since we led next 10 years of life in Madras.
Moment 5 : I had a crazy way of studying for my exams. I liked to read while walking. I walked around the house as if it is a temple. This is not just it. I had to have TV on with some sports channel on. I would constantly focus on scores as and when I come in front of TV. When I study, others don’t get to watch TV !! . Mom somehow managed to bear my crazy style of studying. The pace at which I would walk would increase as and when I get further in studies. Infact, I even studied Maths like this. I studied Maths also mentally rather than practicing it. During engineering days, books would get heavy. So I would tear books into 3-4 parts !!! Any other mother would lock their kid in a room and make them study if they study in such a idiotic way. She always smiled when I walked with an expression “ You are one unique specimen !!! “ . She kept saying to his students who came to tuition though that this is exactly NOT the way to study !!! 😊 . What she couldn’t say to me she said to her students. Speaking of making your point in a unique way !!
Moment 6 : I had met with a major accident 2 months before my XII board exams. I was bed ridden for almost 2-3 weeks. It was critical phase for XII as all revision exams and tuitions was scheduled during that phase. Any other parent would have panicked. But mom being mom, she just told me to give it all once I am fine. She did sound a bit nervous though. Mom and dad didn’t want to make me nervous though. Once I recovered, I just had a little more 4 weeks left for exams to start. I decided not to go final revision as well as that would reduce time for preparation for final exams. Though it was a bold move, mom felt that would be the best as well. I prepared a strict timetable. In X board exams even though I did well, I just managed to score 80% marks. Any such dip would make dad’s life difficult as management engineer quota was expensive. I just put my mind out of all this and just focused on studies. I still watched TV and still walked around the house though !!!. I did reasonably well in exams. When the day came for the marks to come, mom decided to stay back home and took off from school. She was a bit nervous but didn’t show it. My marks was like Bulls eye for engineering seat. I got 96.5% in PCM which mattered. I just got 85% in rest. But that was enough. Infact, I was topper in the class in PCM% which was a shocker for me. Had mom not given the freedom to study the way I did, I would not have fared so well. It mattered a lot as management quota seat would cost 40-50K per year but free seat would just cost 6.5K per year. I managed to get the later. Dad was so thrilled that he too came back from office earlier than scheduled with a box of sweets. I finally had a moment which made mom and dad proud and I was proud of it !!!
Moment 7 : Well, this has got to be Singapore trip . Mom, dad, Seema and Sanjay came to Singapore when I was posted there for an onsite assignment. We really had good time there. Mom had a wish to visit a foreign country and she was smiling all through the trip.
Cheers to Mom for her “ Never say die “ spirit. Though there were few moments where our thoughts didn’t match , it was negligible when compared to the respect we have for each other. Mom rocks at 70 !!! 7 cheers to the IRON Lady who turns 70 tomorrow !!!!!
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Early morning grind
It’s been so long since I last posted. I don't really know what happened the couple of years, I have stopped writing stuffs about my life. Been so busy with a lot of worldly things, so busy, with graduate school, but so thankful to God that I was able to goal it on graduation. Life’s traffic from love life (ugh) and to the most and highlight of them all, MY WORK. Well, thanks God, I know I have longed for break and to get out from that work, fortunately you have heard me, ‘twas never a good ‘end game,’ but it is all worth it, not because I messed up, but because finally a good mess, why? I was able to do what I wanted to do in life.
It’s been a month already since my resignation. I have conquered the industry of my choice, be a Real Estate Broker by profession and in practice. Really, I am right now. I heard my boss is always telling that real estate profession and work is easy-money job. It has always been his description, but really, he don’t know how the industry works, well, he’s never been or I don’t know, as per my knowledge, he has not been in the business. So, why would I care on the comment?
Writing this at this hour, 00:37 05Sept2019, it’s my father’s birthday, I have sent him greetings last night already, not new, he’s not been with us for already 28 years of my life. Nothing’s new really. Just writing, all alone in this little house, just can’t sleep. A lot of thoughts going through my mind, the real estate industry, that I wanted to be one of those they call “Superstars,” those are brokers and accredited salesperson who have reached a Sales Quota. I remember, way back 2018, I wanted to join the National Real Estate Convention 2019 in Cebu, so I have planned my monthly sales of 3-5Million a month, so before closing of Filipino Homes Fiscal Year 2018, I have sales to tally reached of almost 11Million something (that is to be exact 3/12 months sales performace, I have not been active on selling for 3 quarters of 2018), but I was not able to meet the quota still to qualify for the convention which 28Million, sad, but, doesn’t matter, because I was also a full-time private employee back those period, I wasn’t able to achieve it. But, that’s not the end of life, I know and I will, by 2020 of the same event, I’ll be hitting the target and will receive award. God is with me always, I know.
This is the thought in mind, that keeps flashing and popping up, where to get that Sales and reach quota... because I wanted to achieve it, for real. I don’t know, I have been in the industry for 3- years now, I haven’t yet achieved for once that Sales quota, maybe, because I am really super busy at work. But now, I hope I can, I have resigned at work because of this passion and willingness to go beyond what I know I can do more, to really super achieve the financial freedom everyone is yearning, to drive your own car (not mortgaged), to pay all the debts in bank and any other debts left and right, to fully pay my mortgaged house, to travel the world together with the people I know I can trust and comfortable to be with, to finally qualify for Multiple Entry Visa in US, Schengen Visa, JPN Visa, SK Visa and any other Europe countries and anywhere around the world.
Thank You Lord Jesus, up until now the dream is still on fire. I never expected despite all what had happened in my work, my relationship with few people, You have me still to keep me going. I know we are not rich, my mother and father has been separated already, Mama has no stable income stream, Papa has his but not enough already for me and my real brother (Mike), they have lives on their own, I have mine, like living and supporting my own from last 5-years of my life. Thank You proven and tested that I know now how to feed myself and that yearning for more to feed not just me but the whole family, without even so much worrying on finances, I’m sure everybody is wishing the same as I am with this.
Well so much thoughts in mind, might not be able to sleep. I should sleep, still have a lot of errands to do for tomorrow.
'til my next journal and chikka…
P.S. Re the picture, I will explain that, not today.
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GISH 2019 / Hunt List
1
21 POINTS
Make an Assbutt of yourself in public. Literally.
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2
43 POINTS
TIMELAPSE. Nothing caps off a good, hot summer day like a footlong s’mores eaten by two, Lady and the Tramp Style. (No hands may be used in the creation of or eating of the s’mores.) - Rae M.
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3
57 POINTS
They say stepping on a LEGO is the greatest pain one can experience. We Gishers laugh in the face of pain. Make shoes entirely from LEGOs - no fluffy socks or insoles allowed- and demonstrate them in use. Post it to social media and tag the LEGO accounts and @GISH. - Deidra
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59 POINTS
Hula hooping is hard, and you’re just not ready to go it alone yet. Create a hula-hoop with training wheels for beginners and show it in use.
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5
36 POINTS
At least 3 grownups working in an industrial mud-pie factory. They must be wearing hair nets. Supervising them is at least one tidy child under age 10 in a suit and carrying a clipboard.
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7 out of 10 dentists and dental hygienists recommend Flossing, and they practice what they preach. Show us 7 out of 10 real dentists and dental hygienists flossing (not tooth-flossing. Dance-flossing.) 28 POINTS
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7
113 POINTS
SLOW-MOTION. It’s time for the most elegant and beautiful of all affairs: the paintball ballet! 5 ballerinas playing paintball on pointe. They must all be pointe dancers; they can be wearing safety gear, but it must be pink and there must be tutus and pointe shoes.
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8
47 POINTS
It’s summer, and that means it’s time to do your civic duty. Take a swim in the jury pool -- complete with flotation devices, snorkel, etc.
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9
34 POINTS
Bee-drinking poles are all the rage, but your neighborhood bees deserve to really unwind. Create a bee bar - a bee “saloon on a pole” using recycled bottle caps. Install it somewhere public. - Item Written By Misha’s Mom
NOTE: For the safety of the bees, our resident apiarists ask that you please use sanitized lids with no chemicals or beverage residue on them, and plain water (not sugar water).
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10
74 POINTS
A real matador in a real bullfighting ring with any of our GISH/gishwhes “flapes” (these are flags some Gishers purchase during registration). The bull is a Gisher, convincingly dressed as a bull.
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11
31 POINTS
Listerine Mouse Wash.
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12
43 POINTS
A child reading a bedtime story to the monster under their bed. The monster should be charmed and cozy and cuddled up.
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13
36 POINTS
The machines are taking over, and now they’re even infiltrating the dating sector. Your blind date tonight at a 4-star restaurant is a humanoid robot.
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14
58 POINTS
Nothing can shake you up! Show us how you keep centered: meditating on a moving mechanical bull. Keep your chakras aligned! Fall off in less than 2 seconds and score 0 points.
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15
80 POINTS
Create a “food truck” that sells something incongruous with food trucks. It could be delicious pesticides, microchips, shower caps or anything in between. It can’t be compassion, empathy, or anything that “feeds the soul.” As loathe as we are to say this: get creative. Your truck must advertise its wares with flashy signage.
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16
66 POINTS
LOCATION-BASED. Clowns were the original glad-iators. Prove it with Roman clowns fighting in an actual Colosseum or ancient amphitheater in a knock-down, drag-out pie fight.
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17
23 POINTS
Trip the light fantastic. Literally. - Kelli R.
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53 POINTS
You know that saying: “Christ on a paddleboard!” Well, it’s used for a reason - Jesus walked on water and was an innovator in the Stand-Up Paddleboard world. Show Jesus on a stand-up paddleboard, with at least 3 disciples following him in a rowboat, canoe, or scull.
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19
49 POINTS
The world is in desperate need of more Cheese Balls. Many more Cheese Balls. Many many many more Cheese Balls. Delivered as rapidly as possible. Build a functional Cheese Ball launching/delivery system and demonstrate it shooting cheese balls from a distance of least 30 feet away. You must be able to catch at least 1 in your mouth. - Dave L.
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20
12 POINTS
A housecat happily flaunting a stylish mustache.
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21
43 POINTS
You’re a real dish. No, really. You and a friend, dressed as commemorative collector plates, donating platelets (that’s what plates bleed).
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22
291 POINTS
People always say, “GISH lights up the night!” Prove it. Get a bunch of drones with lights on them to spell out the word “GISH” in the night sky. The drones must serve as pixels in the sky, so you will need a lot of them. Probably at least 40.
UPDATE: The purpose of the Hunt is to do things creatively, not to enrich a company. You may not pay a company to do this (see: Commandment 26: Outsourcing). However, in the event that you cannot achieve this as written, we’re offering a one-time analog alternative: you MAY also do this with LED decorated kites. Don’t just do one letter per kite, though... So you will still need a lot of them. Maybe 40? Go BIG.
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23
41 POINTS
(Up to 20 seconds. You may use fast-motion or tight editing). When baking, measurements are vital to the culinary success of your creation. Small missteps will ruin your souffle. Of course, measuring cups and spoons, over time, change size and volume due to humidity and aging. Let’s use a measuring device that you trust and know intimately: your mouth. First, figure out exactly how much volume is in you mouth and then use it to source and distribute all ingredients to bake a cake. You may not use any utensils or measuring devices. Grab whatever ingredients you use to make a cake and place them on your counter and then, without using your hands to measure or fill, fill your mouth with the appropriate amounts of each ingredient and then deposit in your cake dish.(Yes, this means you would need to “bob for flour” in your flour bag and then “mouth spout” it into your mixing bowl). Once the ingredients are all safely in the mixing bowl (again, delivered by your mouth), you are allowed to mix it with any device--as long as that device is a part of your face. Bake it and enjoy it with a loved one (without using your hands).
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24
94 POINTS
(UP TO 45 SECONDS). Have a child under 8 years old create an original recipe, a la “Cooking Fast & Fresh with West”. Record them inventing it, then executing their vision. It must be 100% child-led with an adult-only serving as sous chef. In a blatant cross-promotional stunt, the best recipes will be posted on my social media when my new book, “The Adventurous Eaters Club” hits bookstores. (BTW, you can pre-order now here.)
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25
68 POINTS
(UP TO 30 SECONDS) You’ve been bragging you can out-dunk a professional basketball player, and now it’s time to prove it: go one-on-one for a 30-second milk-and-cookies dunk-off against a pro-baller. Your competitor must be a current or retired member of the NBA or WNBA. Bonus points if your competition is a household name. Post your video on social media tagging the player with #GISHDunkChallenge
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26
31 POINTS
Be a stand-in for me! Wearing a convincing Misha Collins mask, have a cup of tea with someone who still has a bonafide original Team 3 Rhino Hunt puzzle piece. The puzzle piece must be visible in the image. If you are on a team and you are a Team 3 Rhino Hunt puzzle piece holder, you MAY collaborate with other teams to help them out on this one. (I will still honor the tea-time for any unredeemed puzzle pieces. This offer never expires.)
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27
46 POINTS
Food waste is a real problem in many countries. At the same time, food deserts are a problem, making it difficult for some people to get fresh, nutritious food. We’re helping both problems in one fell swoop with our GISH Mobile Free Grocers! Get a grocery store to donate the day’s “ugly” produce, day-old bread, and any other still-edible fresh foods to you, then go and distribute it as a GISH Mobile Free Grocer to people experiencing homelessness.
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28
42 POINTS
The tooth fairy is sick and tired of waiting around to collect the teeth under kids’ pillows, so she’s gone rogue and has started taking them right out of their mouths to meet her quota. Obviously, she needs to be stopped! Create an effective anti-tooth fairy nighttime mouth guard and show it in use, successfully stopping the thieving fairy. -Ant G.
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29
49 POINTS
(UP TO 20 SECONDS: You may speed up and edit video) The big trend in experience-based restaurants has you eating in total darkness, but these gimmicky restaurants charge a fortune. We’re bringing it to the masses: Take a dinner date to an upscale restaurant - the fancier, the better - wear white. There must be a white linen tablecloth. Sit across from each other and feed each other dinner while both of you are blindfolded. You must be serving one another red wine or a similar dark beverage, too.
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30
53 POINTS
The recorder is an under-appreciated instrument, with roots in ancient times. The depth of its mythical sirenic tones are magical and hypnotic. So what better place to play this divine woodwind than amongst the most beautiful sites in the world? Play the Kansas song “Carry on Wayward Son” at sunset on a recorder, overlooking one of the following: the Grand Canyon (Arizona, US), Angkor Wat (Cambodia), Machu Picchu (Peru), Great Wall of China, Taj Mahal (India), the Colosseum (Italy), Iguazu Falls (Brazil), Stonehenge (UK), Egyptian Pyramids or the Sphinx, Tikal (Guatemala), Angel Falls (Venezuela), Atacama Desert (Chile), Arashiyama Bamboo Grove (Japan), The Azores (Portugal), Boulders Beach (South Africa), Cappadocia (Turkey), Cliffs of Moher (Ireland), Disko Bay (Greenland), Lake Tekapo (New Zealand), Na Pali Coast (Hawaii, US), Sagrada Familia (Spain), Eiffel Tower (France), Reynisfjara (Iceland), Trolltunga (Norway), Ubud (Indonesia), Sydney Opera House (Australia), Banff National Park (Canada), Niagara Falls (New York or Ontario), Yellowstone (Wyoming), El Capitan (Yosemite), Statue of Liberty (Liberty Island), Eilean Donan Castle (Scotland), Neuschwanstein Castle (Germany), Matterhorn or Zermatt (Switzerland), or Chichen Itza (Mexico).
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31
75 POINTS
In the past, stained glass windows usually depicted flowers or devotional symbols like angels and saints. But modern culture venerates a different group. Create a stained glass window of a Kardashian, famous Instagram Influencer, or similar personality with more than 4 million followers. It must be someone who is worshipped simply for being worshipped for being famous. You may not use anyone from the cast of Supernatural. Bonus points if it’s installed in an actual cathedral.
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32
43 POINTS
We’re putting you in charge of Supernatural canon for the day. Paint a cannon with an elaborate SPN mural showcasing something that you think should be canon, with a caption like, “It’s #SPN Cannon!”
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33
24 POINTS
In the 2018 GISH Most Premiumerest Registration, we included a Misha Collins MishSqueezie stress ball. And though our concept artist did a great job, something got lost in translation and, well... Nailed it! But somewhere out there, there must be the guy that actually looks exactly like this stress ball. Find him and take a picture of him with the MishSqueezie.
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34
81 POINTS
The Federation of Stormtroopers has been officially sponsored by the X Games this year. Let’s see a highlight from one of their competitions with the stormtrooper participating in an extreme sport.
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35
41 POINTS
A pop-up card that’s for a blind child. Written in Braille, with pop-ups that can be understood completely by touch. Let’s see it in action.
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36
118 POINTS
Like many Americans, I’ve been trying to get supplies to the families and kids in detention center along the US border, and despite my C-List celebrity status, it’s been tough. But we found a way. Go to SPNFamilyValues.com and follow the instructions there, then screenshot it and send that in as proof.
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37
32 POINTS
I keep losing my stuff. Invent a Misha-proof AirPod-finding solution that is NOT a cord, because that defeats the entire point of AirPods - and one that works when they’re not charged. Show it in use.
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38
48 POINTS
Ugly Holiday sweaters are great, but with the climate crisis heating up the planet, we’ve got to branch out. Model your best ugly Holiday bathing suit or bikini made of repurposed ugly holiday sweaters. Model it at the beach with a caption touting the virtues of your “Global Warming Holiday Sweater.”
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39
108 POINTS
There’s regular golf, and mini-golf, but where are all the maxi-golf courses? We want to see it all - the giant putters, the huge balls, and of course, the windmill.
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40
45 POINTS
The world is heating up! Time for an old-fashioned kids game that we all know: Hot Planet. With at least 8 people in a public place, play a game of Hot Potato with a reddened globe of the planet Earth. Everyone must be wearing oven mitts and summer wear and not be fazed by the heat, except for one person who is dressed in a suit with a red tie and a Donald Trump mask. Trump isn’t wearing mitts and his hands are covered in blisters and while he tries to hide it when the globe gets to his hands, it really hurts.
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41
67 POINTS
Edited To Add Rainbows:
(UP TO 30 SECONDS). A high-speed giant game of red rover played by at least 50 wedding guests. One spouse must be the one flung across the field. The other must be running after her holding the train of a wedding gown or veil. - Inspired by mdsteele47
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42
95 POINTS
TWO PICTURES SIDE-BY-SIDE IN ONE IMAGE. I always feel a lot of guilt about the tattoo items in GISH. The first time I added one, I thought it was funny until I saw the tatts and then I felt a little bad. Of course, it gives me a rush of power when I see them in person, and many of them are actually very cool... So I have an idea that allows me to keep feeling powerful, but takes away all of my guilt: Get a tattoo of the encouraging message you wish your higher self had written to get you through the tough times. Because I know many of you already have inspiring tattoos, you must submit two images. The first is an image of you getting the tattoo when you are halfway done at the tattoo parlor, in the chair, holding a sign that reads, “GISH made me do it.” The second image is of the finished tattoo. If you can, include your triumphant face. (Don’t include more than 2 images in your submission. Just one image with two photos side by side.)
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43
24 POINTS
Choose a sport you’ve never played before. Go do it with your coach: a child under the age of 10 who is an experienced participant. - Inspired by Coach Odette Padalecki
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44
94 POINTS
Recreate a Civil War-era photograph with Captain America, Iron Man, and/or their respective sides using the Woodburytype photography technique. As always, no Photoshop allowed unless specified. This one does not allow it.
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45
62 POINTS
Why have chain letters, when you can have chain mail? Create an intricate medieval knight’s suit of armor entirely out of junk mail, with chain mail comprised of chain letters. Must include a junk mail shield, sword, and a codpiece (to protect your “junk”).
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46
135 POINTS
Someone turned your local parking lot into your favorite childhood board game! Using sidewalk chalk or removable tempera, transform at least 5000 square feet of pavement into an enlarged version of your favorite childhood board game. Using a drone’s eye-view, show the whole board (complete with people costumed as game pieces playing).
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47
141 POINTS
(UP TO 30 SECONDS) Garfield phones keep washing up on beaches in France. As you know, that’s because mermaids love cats, so there’s a mermaid call center operation down there selling these phones on QVSea. Show us the QVSea commercial for these phones, as pitched by a mer-spokesperson. Oh, and it should go without saying, but all of this is taking place underwater.
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48
64 POINTS
(UP TO 60 SECONDS). A real barbershop quartet singing a passage from the Mueller Report in front of a federally elected political leader’s office.
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49
48 POINTS
(UP TO 30 SECONDS) Talk to an elderly person over 80 and learn all about the best day of their life so far. Then, create a diorama of their best day in a small empty tin or box and give it to them. The video should show them briefly describing the memory and then you presenting them with the diorama. Make sure we get to see the diorama you made and their reaction, too.
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50
59 POINTS
Write a formal, one-page letter to Gina Haspel, the current Director of the CIA. In it you must outline a plausible, one-page decoding of the fourth Kryptos. The letter must frame the description as an urgent matter and must seamlessly deploy the term “wild unicorn training centers around the globe”. Post a photo of your letter on social media and tag @CIA.
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51
27 POINTS
Conspiracy theorists need to get with the times! Update the tinfoil hat to reflect technological innovations.
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52
33 POINTS
Create MAILWHES, The Most Amazing, Intimidating Letterbox The World Has Ever Seen: a mailbox so amazing, so intimidating, so horrifying that your mail carrier will never dare leave you another piece of junk mail again. There must be teeth around the mail slot or opening.
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53
64 POINTS
FAST-MOTION. At my friend Philip’s wedding, Giles Duley, myself and a few other forward-thinking innovators devised a new product and we would like to beta test the concept with you. It’s called: SoupFace and it involves eating soup from a bowl made from a mold of your face. First, create a mold of your face and create a bowl from food-grade silicone or food-safe resin or similar material. (Take all necessary safety precautions.) The exterior of the bowl should look like your face, and the interior should fit your face. Once it’s cured, fill it with warm soup. Consume the soup without using a utensil and when the soup is gone and your face is back in the wet mold. Lift the SoupFace mold off the table without using your hands so you are wearing it as a mask.
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54
59 POINTS
As all diehard Supernatural fans know, “Assbutt” was a featured player in Season 5, Episode 22 of the show, but the episode ran long and Assbutt’s scene was left on the cutting room floor. Rectify this oversight by releasing the never-before-seen cut of this scene.
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55
39 POINTS
TRIPTYCH. Dawid Planeta illustrates his depression as mysterious creatures. In a 3-panel illustration, show your biggest fear or struggle as a symbolic creature with which you gradually come to terms. Label it so we know what your creature represents.
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56
73 POINTS
A lot of people use their cell phones while in the bathroom, which is really gross. We understand that it can get boring in there, though. Help people break society’s screen addiction with our new solution: Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter toilet paper! Re-create a verified social media account on a roll of toilet paper- images and all. Scroll away—but don’t read the comments. (They’re crap.) Install it in a public bathroom as a public service.
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57
47 POINTS
Send noods! There’s been an epidemic of people sending explicit noodle photos to unsuspecting people. We believe consent is important, and in this case, we consent—with some STRICT caveats: Recreate a TASTEFUL image of a famous nude painting or sculpture in noodles ONLY and then post it on social media tagged #SendNoods. Submit your actual image and a link to the tweet in your comments.
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58
38 POINTS
Ask a child aged 5 or under what their greatest fear is. Create and photograph or film a scene of you and them conquering this fear together. - Kristin L.
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59
28 POINTS
Cement your own joy.
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60
244 POINTS
Angry birds. Flappy birds. Candy Crush. All those other games are so boring compared to GISH: The Game! Build an app game for the GISH App. It must feature a GISH mascot and integrate fully into the GISH App. Full specs for integration can be found here.
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61
39 POINTS
(F)underwear.
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62
72 POINTS
Each day, one member of your team must find one broken thing to upcycle and give to someone in need. Take a photo and, at the end of the Hunt week, submit a collage of the 7 now-useful items your team has gathered, refurbished, and donated. (You may not use a bicycle, but you may use a unicycle or tricycle.) - Inspired by Monica D.
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63
38 POINTS
The ’80s are back, and we can’t escape all that goes with them: including stereoscopic images. Make a stereoscopic “Magic Eye” image of something that scares you as much as ‘80s fashion scares us.
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64
62 POINTS
LOCATION-BASED. Outside a migrant detention center, lift a massive banner using balloons, drones, or telescoping poles at least 10 feet high with a message like, “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me.” “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” “When a stranger sojourns with you in your land, you shall not do him wrong.” Be responsible with your balloons. Don’t let them fly away or burst and leave shards anywhere.
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65
67 POINTS
An upscale art gallery opening at a landfill. All exhibits must be made from things found at the landfill. One professional art critic must be present to review the works.
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66
256 POINTS
(UP TO 60 SECONDS.) Plane air painting: A wing-walker on a biplane, painting a picture on a canvas of the landscape from their point of view. Show us the painting as it’s happening, and then the completed painting being held by the wing-walker.
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67
49 POINTS
A signer performing the National Anthem silently in sign language on a field at a stadium that seats more than 5,000, with a sizeable crowd of spectators. You may not wing it on this one. You must find someone fluent in sign to do this or to teach you how to do it & coach you through it.
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68
42 POINTS
I’m not saying Jared Padalecki is a big softie, but here’s a portrait of him toasted onto a marshmallow. Just the way it should be.
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69
40 POINTS
Nobody’s more devoted or grateful to firefighters than we are, except maybe a dalmatian. Or Smokey the Bear. Go to your local fire station dressed as a dalmatian or Smokey the Bear and create a relaxation station to thank them for their work. You can bring treats, offer mani-pedis, foot or shoulder massages, aromatherapy... You get the idea.
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70
69 POINTS
Over the years, Jensen Ackles has been depicted in Skittles, but we all know his character Dean loves pie. Let’s do a crossover: Bake a Skittles pie with a portrait of Jensen baked into the upper crust. Lattice work in the top crust should allow you to see the Skittles inside behind Jensen. Here’s some inspiration..
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71
66 POINTS
TIMELAPSE. Create a th?thạch rau câu (Vietnamese Jelly Cake) portrait of a classic movie monster. You may not use the blob. We must see the injection process and your completed jelly cake.
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72
51 POINTS
In Chengdu, China, kung fu tea (long spout, performance tea pouring) is popular. But it was just a matter of time before it was appropriated by other cultures. Show us a barista performing the Mengding Mountain 18 Forms of Dragon Flying Postures Kung Fu Tea pour at a Starbucks.
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73
47 POINTS
An actual lumberjack working up on a tree with an impressive, long beard made out of googly eyes.
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74
77 POINTS
(Up to 30 seconds) A stop-motion animation of a life-saving first aid technique (CPR, the Heimlich maneuver, etc.) featuring dolls or puppets in crisis.
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75
178 POINTS
Danish artist Thomas Dambo creates massive wooden giants from recycled materials and installs them in Copenhagen forests. That’s great, but some giants prefer urban living. Build a hipster giant that’s at least 8’ (2.4m) tall from recycled materials and place it in the middle of a busy city or town.
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76
22 POINTS
Not all insects aspire to just be insects. Some have ambitions and hobbies! Without harming it, get a live fly, beetle, roach or other insect to sit on a sheet of paper and doodle an environment around it showing it at its job or hobby.
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77
75 POINTS
An actual space suit with a GISH 2019 patch on it next to the national flag.
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78
23 POINTS
The Enterprise wasn’t the only vehicle in the not-so-final frontier. Show us Star Trek covered wagons. Tweet your image to @WilliamShatner with the message “Admit it, Bill. This is how you really voyaged.” You may use Photoshop for this item. Submit your image, along with a LINK to your tweet in your submission comments for points.
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79
72 POINTS
The insect world is under-appreciated, but they are tiny works of art. Create a realistic-looking, oversized detailed sculpture of an underappreciated arachnid or insect out of bread, ice, or marble, the way Michaelangelo would have done if he’d had the time. You may not make a dragonfly, ladybug, butterfly or any other insect that has already been socially normalized as “cute”. - Inspired by Kat F.
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80
49 POINTS
The Wondersmith makes surprise, fantastical parties in the forests of Oregon, which we find lovely. Set up a surprise party for hikers at least ½ a mile from a rest area that’s clearly been created by forest-dwelling fairies and/or trolls (that’s you). Make sure it’s welcoming, and capture the moment you’re surprising them— both you and the hikers should be in the image. They must be real hikers and strangers to you—don’t bring in ringers, or you’ll anger the fairy queen.
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81
43 POINTS
Love makes the world go round. Build a machine that uses love to spin a globe.
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82
160 POINTS
COLLAGE. In the Western United States, there are mountain monograms, giant glyphs of letters that are often there for no discernable reason. Create your own Mountain Monograms out of natural materials to craft a message with purpose. Submit a photo of your glyph message that says something inspiring to the birds and planes that fly over it. Your message must be at least 2 words long, with each letter at least 6 feet tall and each letter must be on separate peaks. You may not do this on protected land.
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83
37 POINTS
The London Zoo has a pair of penguins who are out and proud, but they didn’t get to march in Pride because they are penguins in a zoo. We think that’s just wrong. Dress up in penguin suits and march through your town with rainbow flags to show your support for Penguin and LGBTQIA+ Pride.
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84
58 POINTS
TIMELAPSE. This means something… Subtractive food sculpture. Start with a block of cheese or a massive mountain of mashed potatoes and without using tools, eat your way to an ornate re-creation of a famous statue.
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85
29 POINTS
You’ve heard of a scarecrow, but let’s see a straw-stuffed scarevolleyballplayer at the beach.
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86
84 POINTS
(UP TO 30 SECONDS) In 2020, we’re gonna need a 30-second GISH ad worthy of airing during the Super Bowl, advertising the latest in summer refreshment: “GISH.”
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87
45 POINTS
Misha doesn’t have a ton of skills other than “acting on camera”, but he does try hard. He’s also at a potential career transition point. Help him explore other career paths by creating a poster of him photoshopped doing another job you think he’d be suited for.
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88
31 POINTS
Ben Ferencz started each dinner table conversation with his children by asking them, “What did you do today to make the world a better place?” Wake up tomorrow and take a specific, positive action to make the world a better/nicer/happier/prettier place with a child as your assistant. Then show us what you did.
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89
34 POINTS
LOCATION-BASED. Some people long to have a picnic at the Longaberger Basket Building, and you and your friends are no different. But size matters! Enjoy a to-scale picnic on the grounds in front of the building- giant fruits and sandwiches, etc. No Photoshop just forced perspective.
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90
58 POINTS
It’s an ineffable Good Omen to see Aziraphale and Crowley sharing a hot fudge sundae on Sunday. Post your picture on social media tagged #GoodOmens and @neilhimself. Bonus points if the sundae is eaten at a Sundae School on Cape Cod.
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91
23 POINTS
A Cairn Terrier. (His name is Rocky. He won’t come when he’s called.)
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92
48 POINTS
(UP TO 30 SECONDS). One of our Gishers was able to help her mom act FAST and responded in time to help her with a stroke. Last we heard, her mom is okay, but she can’t play this year so in her honor, it’s time for a quick refresher on recognizing a stroke. Do a rendition of “Head, Shoulders Knees and Toes” with some kind of lyrics like: “Face, Arms, Speech, Call in Time (don’t waste time)! Face, Arms, Speech, Call in Time (don’t waste time)! When someone’s had a stroke their life is on the line! Face, Arms, Speech, Call in Time (don’t waste time)” with the appropriate movements. Include a link to the National Stroke Association and GISH on a final card of your video (You can hold a sign up or add an end card digitally). You may also add the link in your YouTube description, if you like. Post it on social media tagged #GISH, @robbenedict, and @american_stroke. - Inspired by Nicole’s mom
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93
41 POINTS
A Mom-and-Pop shop that sells Moms and Pops. (New and used.) Show a young child making a purchase.
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94
36 POINTS
(AUDIO UP TO 90 SECONDS) We’re auditioning new anchors for G-ISH, GISH RADIO! Send us a clip of your team’s broadcast debut as you discuss the climate crisis’ effect on sea levels with a real, noted expert in the field.
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95
63 POINTS
Tatsuya Tanaka creates miniature worlds with everyday objects. His scenes are whimsical, which is how the world should be... but is not always how tiny-world actually is. Create a miniature, dismal and tragic scene using small reimagined objects.
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96
15 POINTS
Write your resume as a haiku.
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97
34 POINTS
8554J46H+FH. You, the Carrot God, have summoned them.
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98
95 POINTS
(GRID). The hot new trading card battle game is GISHémon! Create a trading card for each of your team mates with their photo and stats (location, Gisher type, powers, etc.) as the powerful kindness monsters they are. We must see each teammate’s unobscured face for it to count. Photo editing is okay.
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99
55 POINTS
Little known fact: when an avocado is fully ripe, it hatches. Show us the tiny, intricately carved creature sleeping inside (which you’ve carved from the pit).
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100
24 POINTS
TIMELAPSE. Write a phrase on a piece of wood of something negative you say about yourself to silence yourself or hold yourself back. Burn the wood and the phrase in a fireplace or fire pit. Use the ashes to write something affirming about your strong self on a sheet of white paper.
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101
30 POINTS
The heir to the throne of France was known as the Dauphin, French for “dolphin”. According to Donald Trump, the heir to the British throne is the Prince of... Whales? Illustrate a meeting of these two majestic undersea figures, with Macron and Prince Charles as their respective attendants. (This may be photoshopped or, for bonus points, live action.)
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102
31 POINTS
Reach out to a senior in your family or community and ask them about a commercially made snack or dish from their childhood that brings them fond memories—something that just doesn’t exist anymore. Try to recreate it based on their description, then share your creation with them and record their assessment.
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103
23 POINTS
A carbon footprint on a globe.
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104
58 POINTS
A motorized vehicle with cheese wheels. It can be a motorcycle, tricycle, or 4-wheel vehicle, but it must have cheese wheels made from actual cheese.
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105
320 POINTS
Get Donald Trump, Mike Pence, Jeff Sessions, Jair Bolsonaro, Boris Johnson, or any other duplicitous, nationalistic high-ranking politician to tell the absolute, verifiable truth about any controversial and uncomfortable (for them) topic they normally lie to the public about. It must really be the real person, not an actor or someone in a mask. You must be able to verify the facts through a nonpartisan, independent source. (This may be our first truly impossible item.)
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106
48 POINTS
A bacterial culture petri dish portrait of Jonas Salk. Tweet this to Melinda Gates thanking her for her work vaccinating children.
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107
24 POINTS
Create a haiku for an animal on the IUCN Red List of Threatened Species that tells of the animal’s plight and why we should protect it. Next to the haiku, include a hand-drawn picture or origami sculpture of the animal.
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108
79 POINTS
Stonehenge was cool, but it just wasn’t built with sustainability or environmental impact in mind, so now we’re stuck with ancient druid clutter by the side of the road. As a modern druidic architect, you know better. Next to a highway, build an architecturally significant henge out of 100% recycled materials that represent our current culture. (Cardboardhenge, Styrofoamhenge, LaCroixCanhenge, etc). Stonehenge is 30’ (9.1m) tall, but don’t worry—yours can be as short as 1:3 scale—but it must include at least one dolmen.
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109
96 POINTS
An elaborate hinged, Faberge-style Easter egg that opens to reveal Trump & Putin embracing.
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110
21 POINTS
LOCATION-BASED. Play “the floor is lava” in front of the Osservatorio Vesuviano in Pompeii. If you can’t get to Pompeii, you can play it at any Olive Garden, as long as you get other diners to join in.
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111
38 POINTS
SIDE-BY-SIDE. COLLABORATIVE. Swap-meet day! Use the GISH app to coordinate with at least 5 other Gishers in your area to meet up and hold a yard sale. Except, this is not a yard-sale, it’s a yard-giveaway: the GISH Community Bazaar. Bring as many items as you can bear to part with and set up shop. And remember, no money must change hands and no bartering! All items must be gifted to passers-by and everything must go!
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112
24 POINTS
A jello mold with a funeral scene inside.
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113
18 POINTS
COLLABORATIVE. In Uppsala, Sweden, there is a tradition called the Flogsta Scream. Every night at 10 pm, students at university stop what they are doing to let out a collective, primal scream from their rooftops and dorms. This tradition shouldn’t be exclusive to Sweden, so at 6PM on Friday, August 2rd, get together with as many Gishers and other humans as you can in a public setting and let out one deep, primitive, collective howl.
PS: We’re still #sorrynotsorry, Sweden.
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114
46 POINTS
The best part about being in the hospital is the couture. Hold a hospital gown fashion show in your local hospital to show off red-carpet-worthy hospital gowns of your creation. Glam it up and walk (or roll) the runway with any patients that might be able and willing to participate… and don’t forget the slip-proof socks!
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115
48 POINTS
SIDE-BY-SIDE. Bring an old bike back to life with a flourish—make it the most beautiful bike in the world. Give it to someone to someone in need. Submit photos of the bike before and after refurbishment, side-by-side. - Item Written By Misha’s Mom
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116
40 POINTS
MONTAGE. Basic Training can be hell, and the military needs our support! Create a video of you and your team collecting and packing “basics” to send to a currently deployed serviceperson. The catch: your video should emulate a “basic training” montage from a movie-obstacles courses, bucket brigades, etc. (You must actually ship the goods, choosing ONLY from this list or a similar approved list for your country of origin: CLICK HERE) - Jennifer W.
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117
45 POINTS
This year, we lost a beloved furry friend, Peter Mayhew (the actor who played Chewbacca). In honor of his memory, create a felted Chewbacca out of your pet’s hair.
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118
46 POINTS
TIMELAPSE. The LGBTQIA community struggles a lot with erasure. Make sure everyone feels seen: create a portrait of an iconic LGBTQIA person by first filling up a page with a rainbow of colored pencils or pastels, then use an eraser to lift out the negative space, leaving the colored portrait behind. Include a message letting them know they are seen and loved. Post it to social media and tag the person, if they’re on social media, then submit your portrait with the link (if any) in the comments. (This may be done in oil pastels as well.)
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119
82 POINTS
SIDE-BY-SIDE. Some people really do have eyes in the back of their head. Before and after images of a person with long hair, and then their head shaved and a recognizable portrait of their own face shaved onto the back of their own head. (Donate the hair to a non-profit organization that makes wigs for cancer patients.)
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120
26 POINTS
Neil Armstrong stepped on to the Moon 50 years ago. To memorialize this amazing achievement, make your own “One Small Step” monument. Take a Giant Leap for mankind and put your foot somewhere it has never been before and probably should not go, then show us the resulting footprint.
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121
33 POINTS
SIDE-BY-SIDE. You know those garden gnomes that dotted your grandmother’s backyard? Well, it’s been a while and now they have fallen on hard times. They have turned to a life of crime and misanthropy. Their little gnome hearts are filled with despair, hatred, and regret. Show us the before and after.
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131 POINTS
The next time that Earth’s magnetic poles reverse themselves, your magnetic compass won’t be much help navigating. Fortunately, you remember a mention from a history class of a “south-facing chariot” [SFC] invented in China some 2500 years ago. To be better prepared for the coming magnetic mélange, you have decided to build a functioning SFC so that you can always find your way home. Of course, your SFC will be topped with an assbutt and your chariot will be modeled after a 1967 Impala.
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123
81 POINTS
Everyone goes to visit the Southernmost Point in Key West, FL, but it really never gets to travel. We’re changing that. Make a 1:2 replica of the Southernmost Point and take it on holiday to the Westernmost, Northernmost, or Easternmost points of the US or any landmass. Take a photo with it at the nearest marker or tourist attraction to prove you were there, and submit with the location and coordinates in your comments.
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124
23 POINTS
Put your face somewhere it absolutely does not belong. Not a picture of your face. Your real face. In that place. Where it should NOT be! (Keep it clean. My mother will see this.)
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125
33 POINTS
Senator Ted Cruz is worried about pirates in space. Seriously. He is. Well, we are pretty sure that his fears are well-founded. Let’s prove it to him: Show us space pirates in action. Tweet your picture to him at @tedcruz (and be sure to use the #GISHSpacePirates hashtag!)
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126
71 POINTS
Last year we asked you to put wings on something that absolutely should not fly and prove that it can. One team (Team Schnitzeljaeger) made a pizza box fly. For this year, make a pizza fly (sans box). You may not throw it in the air, drop it, or fling it. It must attain flight through some mechanical means. Just the pizza. Not the box. The pizza must fly from near ground level to at least 50’ high and must travel horizontally at least 100 feet by any means. Must be edible and consumed after it lands.
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127
46 POINTS
LOCATION BASED. UPDATE: Bad news! GISH HQ has just received a bulletin that Dalton Highway is a moose-free zone this week, so your new task is: meet-up at any safe landmark denoting the Arctic Circle. If you absolutely can’t make it to the Arctic Circle, you may do this at their other favorite location: any Timmy Hortons. Having a moose in the picture is optional, but preferred. Being dressed as a moose is mandatory.
The Dalton Highway stretches 414 miles from Fairbanks to Prudhoe Bay, Alaska. About halfway along it there is a roadside marker denoting crossing into the Arctic Circle. Send us a photo of you standing next to the marker.
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128
56 POINTS
SIDE-BY-SIDE. We’re creating the GISH International Forest! Go out and plant as many trees as you can and add your trees to THIS MAP. Once you plant them, you will become their stewards, so choose your location wisely: make sure you’re allowed to plant there and that the trees are native so they can flourish. Add a small, eco-friendly sign with GISH INTERNATIONAL FOREST, GISH.com and your team’s name on it. Submit your photo along with a screenshot of its place on the map and number of trees you planted in the comments. If you can’t plant a tree on your own for reasons of mobility, hospitalization, etc, a donation to OTP of at least one tree will suffice, but you still have to tell us approximately where they are and how many trees you planted and add them to our map.
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129
44 POINTS
This year is the 150th anniversary of the first Transcontinental Railroad, which opened up rapid (for the time) access across the United States. The original event in 1869 was celebrated as the Central Pacific Railroad locomotive “Jupiter” and the Union Pacific Railroad locomotive #119 came nose-to-nose as a Golden Spike was driven into the final section of track. Well, we firmly believe that every good anniversary deserves cake! Recreate the Jupiter, or #119, or both, made entirely from cake.
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130
26 POINTS
A cyanotype photo of junk-food wrapping or junk-food.
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131
61 POINTS
You have accepted a new position with the Mars Tourism Bureau. To attract potential visitors to the wonderful Mars climate, you plan to inform them of the daily environmental trends. Create a 15-second video weather report, complete with temperature and wind descriptions and get a real weathercaster dressed as an alien to report it on local news during a live broadcast.
Note: Your Mars weather information must be real and correct for the day you submit your video! We will be checking!
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132 POINTS
A very large balance scale. (The kind of old-fashioned scale that we think of when we say, “the scales of justice.”) On one side, at least 5 very wealthy-looking people. On the other, at least 5 very impoverished-looking people. The scales are tipped in favor of the elite. Find a way to balance the scales.
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133
22 POINTS
Everyone talks about “viral videos.” We think we know what those are. Share a GISH video of a biological (not technological) virus and get it to go “viral” with at least 1,000 likes. It must include GISH.com in the video and text in the video to count. Post a screenshot of your post with at least 1,000 Likes on it. #ViralVirus
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134
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(UP TO 30 SECONDS). It’s time for GIFF - the GISH International Film Festival! Create a 30-second horror film. Noted author Neil Gaiman tweeted: “You’ve got a week to rob a bank using only a rattlesnake, radioactive uranium and a bottle of whiskey.” “Jed here has a week to steal a battleship using a goat, a can of gold paint, and three resin models of Warren G. Harding. Go!” Use either prompt as the plot of your GIFF film. Post your film on social media and be sure to tag #GISH and @neilhimself, then submit the video and the link to your post in comments.
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135
51 POINTS
The aliens have been in Area 51 for decades. Why do they stay? Because of all the amenities, of course. Show us the leisurely life of aliens at Area 51: the best Retirement Community in the Universe! We want to see elderly aliens playing shuffleboard, mahjong, and bingo, getting alien spa treatments, doing tai chi and pilates... You get the idea. Post your submission to social media tagged #GISH, #Area51 & #SocialSecurityCheXFiles
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136
37 POINTS
COLLABORATIVE. Join the movement to cross-stitch what you care about: create a cross-stitch picket sign for a cause you believe in. Connect with at least 2 other teams and craft a protest march on a street corner. - Item Written By Misha’s Mom
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137
38 POINTS
Megan Rapinoe reminds us all that despite equal skill, women are often not treated to a level playing field in business. Show us a team of female office workers playing soccer in traditional business attire opposite men with a ball that says “EQUAL PAY.” The women, of course, should score.
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138
26 POINTS
The most stressful spa environment ever. - Lynette
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139
126 POINTS
Recently, a mylar balloon from Disney’s Frozen was found on the bottom of the ocean floor… Clearly leftover from an undersea birthday party. Show us the underwater party, including the birthday person blowing out the candles on their cake. PS: Your mother doesn’t live there! DO NOT leave a mess or impact sea life.
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140
37 POINTS
UPDATED TO REMOVE PATRIARCHY. Now that Donald Trump is president, people around the world have squandered billions of hours talking/worrying/complaining about him. Have an economist calculate the cost to the global economy of these lost hours. They must show their work and be a professor of economics.
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141
31 POINTS
Part of your job for the Mars Tourism bureau is managing PR. Design a brochure or poster that convinces people to visit our timeshare at Scenic Mt. gishwhes (on Mars).
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142
33 POINTS
We just celebrated the 50th anniversary of the moon landing. Prove it was faked.
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143
91 POINTS
Thanks to modern technology, we can relax and watch TV virtually anywhere, even in the loo—but we still can’t kick back on the porcelain throne and relax while we do. Create a toilet recliner to solve this problem.
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144
37 POINTS
You thought they said, “Get Out the GOAT.” Be the Greatest Of All Time by co-hosting a voter registration booth with a goat.
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145
70 POINTS
Mary Poppins and the Demogorgon from Stranger Things both loved hanging around in the Upside down! Create a convincing image of you having upside-down high tea on the ceiling with Mary Poppins and a Demogorgon. Post it to social media and tag the Stranger Things accounts and GISH. - Inspired by TessaMac
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146
53 POINTS
Every year, I send Gishers to visit my grandmother at Roland Park Place retirement home in Baltimore, Maryland, and this year is no different. Visit her retirement community (or any nursing home or community near you) and help the residents escape—metaphorically, of course. Take them on a tropical getaway by staging an impromptu beach party! Between the hours of 1 PM ET—3 PM ET on Monday, July 29 and Wed July 31 only, bring flower leis, small flowers, pre-packaged treats (nothing homemade), postcards with kind notes on them and/or a ukulele or guitar to sing with them. Ask them to reminisce about the happiest summer vacation they ever took. (PS: No bathing suits and leave the sand home, please. Hawaiian shirts are fine.)
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147
73 POINTS
COLLABORATIVE. The evening of Sunday, July 28 is the event of the year: the #WeJustMetGala! Get together with Gishers in your area at your local museum in the strangest, fanciest attire you can create—go so all-out, you make Billy Porter jealous. Roll out the red carpet and a banner, then convince strangers passing by to pose with you for red carpet pictures. Be fabulous! We must see the museum in the background, and there must be paparazzi. Post your images and videos to social media and tag #WeJustMetGala, #GISH & @theebillyporter, then submit your image or video to us with the link to your social media post in the comments.
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148
31 POINTS
You know that this is the 50th anniversary of Woodstock. But did you know that Woodstock the bird from Peanuts first appeared 2 years earlier? In 1967? So actually Woodstock the bird is 52. He’s drunk a lot of beer over the years and can’t hide it, but he is vain, so he’s had lots of work done. Tons of collagen and botox. He wears a toupee. He dyes his feathers. Show us what he looks like today.
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149
81 POINTS
SIDE-BY-SIDE. A Jackson Pollock paint-by-numbers kit: before, and after it’s been painted. Don’t try to find an existing kit. Make your own. (No cheating- follow the numbers!)
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150
47 POINTS
A ukiyo-e woodblock print depicting an image of your worst nightmare. (Caption it so we know what it is.)
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151
21 POINTS
You know how they keep making movies out of games? Like the Pikachu movie? Or Battleship: The Movie? Why don’t they ever go after the real money and make poems out of these properties? Write Battleship the poem, or Pikachu the poem. Must be at least 10 lines long.
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152
63 POINTS
Birthday wishes are getting fulfilled so much faster since we automated processing. Show us a Rube Goldberg machine that is activated by a child under 10 blowing out candles on a birthday cake, and ends with the thing they wished for being delivered into their hands.
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153
41 POINTS
I said no more ponies in the living room, and I meant it! But unicorns are totally okay.
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154
37 POINTS
(UP TO 90 SECONDS) It’s GISH University, Year 2! Each person on your team must attempt to learn a new skill they have never tried before and document the experience, including the first attempt.
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155
33 POINTS
SIDE-BY-SIDE. Thar’s plastic in them thar waters! A prospector panning for microplastics on a public beach. Craft jewelry from anything you collect and show it to us.
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156
47 POINTS
EDIT: CLIMATE CHANGE HAS THWARTED US AGAIN! Liss Ard is closed due to flooding. But the angels still need to unwind, so let’s see angels shooting pool and knocking back a few beers at a sketchy dive bar instead. Bonus points if there’s a Hell’s Angel in the mix. Note: You will still get points if you completed the earlier version of this item.
LOCATION-BASED. Where do angels go for tea? To the sky garden, of course! Depict two angels having tea while seated on a cloud on the edge of the Liss Ard Sky Garden in Ireland. Photograph them from the central plinth so it appears they are hovering in the sky.
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157
37 POINTS
A hand-made kite that looks just like the face of that famous person you look up to, high in the sky.
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158
249 POINTS
TIMELAPSE. Oceanic exploration shouldn’t just be for the elite. Companies are working on making exploration affordable, but we need something now. Drop a camera and a light in a tiny, weighted, protected housing with a window on a line (so you can pull it back up). Just outside the window a common object filled with air. Like an aluminum water bottle, or a balloon animal, or something made of styrofoam. Lower everything at least 1000 feet below sea level. The camera should be rolling so we can see at what point your object gets crushed by the pressure of the ocean. You cannot contract a submersible company and cannot pay for this to be done—this is a DIY project only. Oh, and keep it green: you must retract the line or you will be docked points. If you leave any piece of this in the ocean, including the line, we’re docking you points.
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159
7 POINTS
Right a great American novel. This is not a typo.
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160
51 POINTS
The lunar ticks are in the hall… Pink Floyd knew what was up. Show us what the lunar ticks on the dark side of the moon look like (you know, because you have a specimen preserved in a jar in your front hall.)
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161
81 POINTS
Thirsty for a challenge? Build a puzzle jug. Show you building it, then someone else figuring it out and successfully drinking from it.
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162
77 POINTS
GRID. Thomas Deininger makes amazing representational sculptures out of found objects. Using EVERY piece of non-recyclable, inorganic trash you generate during the Hunt, create a 3-dimensional, representational self-portrait. EVERY member of your team must do this.
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163
39 POINTS
Edited For Internationality:
Paint a Jenga set with your national flag’s colors. On each one write a word or phrase representing laws from your constitution. Get two real opposing politicians (national or regional) to play. See how many they can remove before this whole thing collapses.
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164
223 POINTS
“Fake news” was bad enough, but it’s pervading all media now and we can’t believe anything we see. Create a Deep Fake of Misha Collins complimenting Donald Trump. (We put this item in at the last minute after Misha’s final read-through of the list, so he doesn’t know about it. Don’t tip him off. We just want to see his reaction. You know, because he loves Donald Trump so much. This must be actual, digital Deep Fake footage (google it), not you in a mask, and not just a voice over or clever edit, to count. Video must be at least 5 seconds in length.
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165
42 POINTS
Apparently, once upon a time, the US government weaponized ticks. (Really.) Show us a pinboard with an example of a tiny, weaponized tick, complete with Rambo-style military gear and assault rifles.
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166
43 POINTS
Love has no borders, and neither does fun. Show two people on opposite sides of an international border crossing or wall playing a game such as charades, Pictionary, or another game that does not require them to touch or pass goods across the border.
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167
36 POINTS
TIMELAPSE. Last year, we suggested Gishers melt a message into a glacier or iceberg with a laser and received lots of complaints. We now recognize that people melting words into icebergs for scavenger hunts is one of the biggest problems facing our environment today. Have a climate scientist calculate the volume of water produced by, let’s say, 10,000 people melting eleven 6’ tall letters, 2” deep in an iceberg. Then have them calculate the amount of water produced by the additional melting caused by a .5 degree global temperature increase. Show us the numbers and analysis so we know how bad Misha should feel.
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168
28 POINTS
Check out a book from a local small-town library that hasn’t been checked out in at least 20 years. Submit a photo of you holding up the book with the stamped inner jacket showing the dates or other visual proof of this stellar feat.
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169
159 POINTS
SIDE-BY-SIDE. Tiny homes help those experiencing homelessness be a little safer and have dignity, but they’re hard to move around, and that presents a problem. Create blueprints for a Tiny Home that is durable and large enough for an adult to comfortably walk into through a door, yet can be folded down into a flat cart on with wheels for mobility and made of ultra-lightweight materials.
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170
119 POINTS
Climb ev’ry mountain! Like most nuns, Mother Abbess was an avid climber. Show us a nun in a full habit, rappelling down a steep grade of mountain.
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171
88 POINTS
(Up to 30 seconds) Get a well-known sportscaster to do a play-by-play for a real wedding.
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172
40 POINTS
They say that to perform CPR, you should compress someone’s chest to the beat of “Staying Alive” by the BeeGees. Get CPR certification while dressed in 70s disco attire.
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173
31 POINTS
Gishers have become nationals of Westarctica and other micronations, but it’s time we claimed our own land. Since nobody else has done it, we’re officially claiming the Great Pacific Garbage Patch as New Gishlandia! Help us with our micronation building: Create a flag, a national anthem, a crest, a statue of our Founder or a propaganda poster (all material items should be constructed solely from plastic trash).
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174
45 POINTS
The Gabra people of northern Kenya are a nomadic people who believe in living in balance with the environment and live by the tenet, “a poor man shames us all.” Mutual support is imperative in their culture, and no one is allowed to go without food, shelter, or hospitality—something the whole world could learn from. Take a page from the Gabra and go on a nomadic journey through your neighborhood, bringing with you as much food and water as you can carry along with cards with phone numbers and addresses for local shelters. Bring sustenance, hydration, and support to anyone in need you find, and document your journey including how far you traveled and how many people you helped along. Anyone appearing in the video must give permission.
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175
41 POINTS
Update For Climate Change:
Climate change has us thwarted, but you can’t keep a Gisher down! Do what floats your boat, but do it in a homemade boat of 100% recycled materials. PS: Your boat MUST float. LOCATION-BASED. Do something you’ve always been told you can’t, or shouldn’t, do while at (or outside) the Forbidden Corner in Coverham, England.
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176
68 POINTS
You look so festive with your “real avocado leather” purse or shoes made from avocado peels. - Inspired by Debbie M.
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177
31 POINTS
Remember FloJo? Florence Griffith Joyner a world-record-setting Olympic athlete whose long, intricately painted fingernails made her an 80s style legend. Times marches on, and now instead of FloJo, we’ve got BoJo—but style trends endure. Paint a portrait of Boris Johnson, FloJo style—on your excessively long acrylic pinky nail.
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178
28 POINTS
When you want to say something sweet to your loved one, you always use s’mores code.
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179
90 POINTS
Walking on water is so 2,000 years ago--but it’s a timeless tradition. Construct shoes that allow someone to walk on water. You may not be standing on anything that’s under the water and the water must be at least 6 feet deep. You must be in a lake, pond, river or ocean. NOT a swimming pool. You must take at least 6 steps. No stilts in the water. No super shallow water.
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180
41 POINTS
Create a 6 ft by 6 ft painting using only your body, paint, and a white sheet for a canvas. Bonus points if you manage to create representational art. - Kamila B.
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181
36 POINTS
On today’s segment of your cooking show, we learn how to make your world-renowned recipe for dessert haggis.
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182
16 POINTS
You know that feeling, when there’s a word on the tip of your tongue but you just can’t seem to say it? Show us that word. On the tip of your tongue. - @baileysaurusrex
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183
31 POINTS
My favorite poet, Mary Oliver, passed away recently. In tribute, make a video showcasing the top highlights of your team’s week and end it with the quote “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” - Inspired by The Plaid Fox
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184
63 POINTS
We’ve seen the pictures of dogs catching treats by German photographer Christian Vieler. Let’s see a high-speed photo of your teammate catching treats in the same style and photographic detail. -Kandace
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185
28 POINTS
SIDE-BY-SIDE. Hasan Minhaj rightly points out that there are many places in the US (and the world) with offensive names. We’re all for a good Assbutt, North Dakota or ****, Michigan, but if it’s racist or marginalizes a group we’re opposed. Find a place on the map or a street name that celebrates a known racist or slave-holder or war criminal or simply a place name that uses a derogatory term and petition to have it changed to an inoffensive alternative. If you’re in the US or if you’re abroad, seek out your local organization that manages names of cities, towns, and locations. Submit a screenshot of your proposal, then put your petition here so other teams can sign yours. Finally, make sure you sign at least 5 other teams’ petitions (you’ll find all the petitions here.)
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186
35 POINTS
It’s not just for fine dining anymore... At a fast-food establishment, get a grill cook to create a McAmuse-Bouche and serve it to a waiting, unsuspecting customer.
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187
104 POINTS
TIMELAPSE. In Japan, there is a fad of polishing aluminum foil into a perfectly polished ball. You just topped that with your wad of aluminum foil-turned-perfectly polished bust of your favorite celebrity. Tweet the video of the final product to your celebrity crush tagging #GISH, and include the link to the tweet in the comments section of your submission.
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188
69 POINTS
A menstrual Pad-alecki. Create a menstrual product bust of Jared Padalecki... and make sure his hair really “flows.” Then, donate at least an equal number of products to a women’s shelter. (We don’t have to see you donating: just include your donations receipt somewhere in the image by your sculpture.)
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189
49 POINTS
We’re not saying the cast of Supernatural is hot, but your fumage portrait of a Supernatural actor or actress speaks for itself. Smokin’! (Be super careful with this one- and have a fire extinguisher at the ready just in case. Remember, GISH doesn’t pay medical bills and you’re not allowed to hurt yourself - or anyone or anything else. If you can’t be sure of that, pick a different item. (Post your video or image to the actor depicted).
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190
229 POINTS
Evolution of the selfie: A person with an iPhone taking a selfie next to a person with a point-and-shoot camera who is taking a photo of a person with a Polaroid camera who is taking a picture of a person with a 35mm camera who is taking a photo of a person with a daguerreotype camera taking a picture of a person with a camera obscura taking a picture of someone painting a self-portrait. This should be a single photo, not photos from each camera.
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CHANGE A LIFE. Each year, Gishers come together to “Change A Life”, making a profound difference in the lives of people or communities facing extraordinary hardship. As most Gishers know by now, unexploded bombs are a significant problem in certain areas of Laos. Since the Vietnam war, over 20,000 people have been injured or killed - over 8,000 of those being children. These explosives lie dormant in fields and some rural areas. Often, a farmer will accidentally strike one, or a child will think it’s a ball and pick it up. One such boy, Kayeng, was injured after his cousins lit a fire to stay warm, You can learn more about his story here.
This year, GISH is teaming up with Random Acts (a 501(c)(3) nonprofit) and our GISH Ambassador, photographer Giles Duley, to help change the lives of Laotian children and families in what is our most ambitious Change A Life to date in two ways:
1. With your help, we’re going to continue clearing unexploded bombs from farmlands. Your support has already helped make hundreds of acres safe already for the children and families of Laos.
2. Our bigger initiative will help fund the manufacture of much-needed prosthetics for countless Laotian children and adults missing limbs. You’ll help provide limbs and arms for children so they can walk to school and play, and farmers so they can provide for themselves and their families. From the funds raised, we hope to improve the lives of thousands in Laos for years to come.
Visit the Crowdrise page here! CHANGE A LIFE DONATIONS ARE 100% TAX DEDUCTIBLE, AND 100% OF THE DONATIONS GOES TO THE THIS EFFORT (for countries other than the U.S., deductions are contingent on your laws).
Your GISH Item: Using the link above, create a Fundraising page for your team, and get family, friends, and others to donate. Since this is GISH and there’s always an extra twist to everything we do, here’s the deal: we also want you to get OTHERS to donate to your Crowdrise page. We know you don’t need “points” as an incentive to help these families, but since it is part of the Hunt, we want to maximize the power of these points to help.
Get at least 10 donations from friends, family, individuals or businesses NOT on your team. You and your team members are welcome to donate to your campaign, but that is not a requirement for points- the Item requirement is to get at least 10 people to make a cumulative total of least 10 donations from donors who are NOT on your team. There is no minimum to donate for GISH purposes, but Crowdrise does require a minimum $10 donation be collected, and let’s all please encourage others to be generous so we can make a profound impact. SUBMIT a screenshot of your team’s page with a minimum of 10 donations on it. (To initially create a fundraising team, click the FUNDRAISE FOR THIS CAMPAIGN button.)
If for any reason your team is unable to (or chooses not to) join this Crowdrise campaign, you may still get points for this Item by collecting goods or volunteering at least two hours of your time with any relief organization providing relief to anyone directly impacted by acts of war-- refugees, disabled veterans, etc. SUBMIT PROOF YOU HAVE DONE THIS.
If your team is in the top 10% of number of donations or dollar amount, you’ll receive double points for this Item, so get in on this.
We need to raise $150,000 at minimum. We know it’s a lofty goal - but we believe in you, Gishers. Let’s do this!
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192
58 POINTS
Tonight’s date is so special, you wore your water ball(oon) gown! Hope your significant other “pops the question...” All water balloons must be filled with water. Remember, this is a zero-waste Hunt, so any water or balloons used must be recycled or used wisely (such as in Items 162 and #9).
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193
34 POINTS
A tiny painting of Misha and the Queen on a coin, made using toothpicks instead of brushes. - Arianne
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194
25 POINTS
Not all angels are 100% sweet and not all demons are all bad. Dress up as a demon and hand out messages of hope and positivity for the future to commuters at a busy bus, train, or subway station.
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195
34 POINTS
Create a HairBnB for head lice. Showcase all the amenities in photos. But don’t post it on AirBnB! Instead, hang your flyer where your clients will see it: at a local hair salon. - Inspired by Maison Collins
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196
28 POINTS
You’ve been out fishing for compliments, and you just snagged a whopper.
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197
53 POINTS
We could all use a little extra help to stay afloat. You wouldn’t go on a boat without a floatation device; why go through life without one? Create an “emergency life jacket” that you can wear when you feel a little underwater, out of your depth, or just like you need to be buoyed a little, customized with whatever will help you keep swimming.
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198
48 POINTS
Maybe hotels are onto something with their door hangers. Create an ornately designed reversible necktie you can wear that says “Do Not Disturb/”Please Tidy Up” or any other appropriate messaging for those times you want to quickly and efficiently broadcast a message but really don’t feel like being social.
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199
33 POINTS
Last year, you participated in the Bellyflop Olympics. But the most artistic activity in the summer Olympics is always the Synchronized Slip n’ Slide. Tandem sliders executing at least 3 beautiful, perfectly synchronized poses will win the gold. You must have judges and large score cards present.
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200
51 POINTS
Crochet or knit a doily recreation of our solar system.
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201
38 POINTS
From Spiderman’s web shooters to Batman’s ability to brood and spend money, if comic books have taught us anything, it’s that what makes us unique is what makes us super. But not everyone has internalized the message. Without being self-deprecating, identify one trait, offbeat skill, or feature about yourself that, properly applied, could be the origin of your new superperson identity. It can’t be an existing superhero in culture. Create a poster that showcases your superperson identity and what your flaw or feature-turned-superpower is. You may use Photoshop for this one.
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202
57 POINTS
Create a compliment vending machine! This machine offers free compliments on activation. Install it in a busy public place... with you safely hidden inside (make sure you have visibility, airholes, etc. See Commandment 6, “Scavenging Safely.”). Offer a sincere, honest compliment to anyone who activates the mechanism and have a friend record the transaction.
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203
41 POINTS
Before he was an Assbutt, our 2019 GISH Mascot was an Asserpillar. Illustrate or create a page from the award-winning children’s book The Very Hungry Asserpillar. (As you know from reading the book, each page features an important life lesson or moral, so make sure yours does, too.)
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204
48 POINTS
COLLABORATIVE. This is not a drill! Your pillow fort is under attack. Build the world’s most impenetrable Pillow Fort ever. You can include pillow cannons, catapults, etc. for defense, or just trust the integrity of your architecture. You may do this at home with family or friends, or collaborate with other Gishers in a public park. Then, defend it against the attackers (make sure there are extra pillows on hand for anyone who wishes to attack.)
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205
28 POINTS
As tournaments go, Wimbledon’s got nothing on Piladex. Show off your prowess at this 19th-century analog game of Pong, which is played by keeping inflated bag or balloon aloft by blowing on it. (For our tournament, you may not use your hands.) You may play one-on-one or a doubles match. Game, set, match!
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206
38 POINTS
Spoiler alert! Nobody has time to really sit down and read anymore. So, bring the stories to them. Recreate major plot points of classic books by acting them out at your local library. But in deference to library “rules”, you must be silent, so you’re going to have to use interpretive dance on this one. Note: If you’ve submitted a photo, you will still get credit.
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207
57 POINTS
Put your friend on display as a human statue at your local art museum. You may use props. Include a didactic card explaining the piece and its significance as a true work of art as well as an Artist’s Statement.
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208
28 POINTS
FAST-MOTION. Everybody always thinks zombies are after their brains, but they’re just really into “tag”, as evidenced by the 3 zombies playing slow-speed tag in your local mall, then speed it up and send it in.
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209
28 POINTS
LOCATION BASED. It’s time to sit for your GISH Global Compliance Exam. Resistance is Futile! Misha says you must meet up at at 8:30 AM on Saturday, Aug 3rd. DO NOT COME early, and definitely don’t be late. No proxies, please: only registered Gishers may attend! Wear your Gishiest hat and bring donations for the Lighthouse Mission Drop-In Center from the list below. If you cannot attend in person, watch our social media tomorrow for further instructions to complete this Item globally.
DONATION LIST:
Hygiene supplies: shampoo, hand sanitizer, soap/body wash (full size or travel size), toothpaste, safety razors, toilet tissue, hand wipes, etc.
First aid supplies (bandaids, etc)
Undergarments (M-XL, new only) and Unisex Socks
Unisex t-shirts and sweatpants (M-XL)
Water or shelf-stable food
If you couldn’t attend today’s meet up you can still score points for your team! Your mission: Take a donation of hygiene supplies or shelf-stable food to your local homeless shelter or food bank. But in honor of the Lighthouse Mission Drop-In Center in Bellingham, you should wear the tallest hat you can, with a light at the top so you can be a beacon to those in need.
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210
39 POINTS
STOP-MOTION. You have too many things in your house, and they’re ready to leave the nest and strike out on their own to find new lives. Create a stop-motion video of at least 10 useful items you’re ready to part with packing themselves into a box, then take it to a local shelter near you.
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211
47 POINTS
You’re a world-famous bodybuilder, but we know your secret: you use the performance-enhancing supplement: cotton fibers. Go to a homeless shelter and strike your award-winning bodybuilding pose out front (no other people should be in the image). Stuff as many packages of still-wrapped, new socks in the clothes on your upper body as possible to achieve bulk and definition and make you look muscle-bound. Then, remove all the socks and donate them to the shelter because your true strength is your kindness.
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212
52 POINTS
TIMELAPSE. Go trick or treating at your office or any large businesses near you, collecting school supplies (pencils, notebooks, erasers, or other donations). Donate anything you get to your local schools.
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213
53 POINTS
@dog_rates on Twitter & @weratedogs on Instagram rates dogs on their inherent dog attributes, but you know there’s a dog at your local shelter that deserves a 13/10 would take home forever rating. Go to your local shelter and identify the dog that has been there the longest or is most in need of a home. Take appealing photos or videos of your canine candidate and create the best, most shareable post you can of this good doggo, including information on how and where to adopt them. Post your creation tagging @WeRateDogs/@dog_rates, using #RateGISHDogs, and DM them your post as well, then submit a screenshot of your post. Bonus points if @WeRateDogs posts your dog before the end of the Hunt (send us THAT screenshot as proof instead if that’s so.) Double bonus points if you can prove the dog was adopted as a direct result.
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214
29 POINTS
(UP TO 60 SECONDS.) Guinness World Records? Been there, done that. This Item is for the GISHess World Records. Set a record for the most acts of kindness by one person in under 60 seconds. You may not speed up the video.
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215
36 POINTS
Tar and feathering is so 1800s. It’s time for an old-fashioned, public Maple Syrup and Glittering Make your own biodegradable glitter for this.
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216
39 POINTS
You’re a _____, Harry! It’s Harry Potter’s birthday today (July 31). Let’s envision what other jobs Harry Potter might’ve ended up doing if Hagrid had failed to make it to the hut-on-the-rock and Harry hadn’t made it to Hogwarts. Post your image to social media with hashtag #GISH and #MuggleJobsForWizards.
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217
17 POINTS
You are an undercover agent for the GISH Bureau of Instigation! Go to a public place looking for someone doing a kind deed. When you spot someone, blow your whistle and identify yourself as a member of the GISH Bureau of Instigation and issue them a citation thanking them for spreading positivity in a public setting (a Section G-2019 violation).
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218
29 POINTS
Have an attorney draft a class-action lawsuit against humanity on behalf of pollinators. Submit your evidence of the attorney, holding the filed paperwork.
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219
47 POINTS
Caregivers of those with life-threatening illnesses or chronic health conditions sacrifice a lot but are often forgotten. Let’s fix that. Make buddy care-bags: one bag for the caregiver, and one for the person they support. Contact a hospital, hospice, care facility, caregiver or person with a life-threatening illness or chronic condition to find out what would be most helpful to include in the bags, then donate them directly or through a caregiving organization near you. Submit a photo of the care bags -- the recipients need not be depicted. Tell us the story of the person you helped in the comments.
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220
19 POINTS
Chewing gum tug of war.
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221
21 POINTS
You better watch out... Santa Clothes just hit up your local laundromat! The jolly old sartorial elf left presents of laundry soap and quarters for the machine along with notes of encouragement for all the good little folks in need of some help getting the most boring of household tasks done.
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222
132 POINTS
Crack the pinata zipline-style! Play pinata with your friends -- but you must use a zipline to get your shot at hitting it. At least 2 people must play in your video or photo, and someone should crack it open so candy can spill to the people waiting below. - Brenda
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223
185 POINTS
You Wanted to See It! Jump the Fonz: Water ski jump over Henry Winkler. Bonus points if it’s a shark or attorney making the jump. -Ghassan
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224
68 POINTS
PUZZLE. New Item, Who Dis? 3x3=9, null=0. And that’s the Tea. Don’t get your wires crossed! When you think you’re done, the fun’s just begun...
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225
99 POINTS
Yeah, yeah. We’ve got like 8 Guinness World Records, so we’re really not impressed by them anymore. But your team loves to collect them, so you went for one anyway. Either on your own or in collaboration with other teams, break the record for the world’s largest sock monkey, made all out of socks. Bonus good karma in the afterlife if you fill it with socks and donate it all to a homeless shelter after it’s been officially accepted as the new record-holder. See the guidelines here.
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226
49 POINTS
PUZZLE. DO GISH.
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227
68 POINTS
LOCATION-BASED. The GISHBUS served us as well as it could, but there comes a time when we have to let things go and move forward-even if the GISHBUS never really could. Soon, it will belong to a new owner who will decide its fate. But we want you to have one last chance to say goodbye. So let’s send it off in GISH style!
Your ITEM:The GISHBUS is currently waiting for you at THIS LOCATION until 4PM PT tomorrow. Keep driving and hang a left. Do not bother the businesses there. Your team’s task: Say goodbye! Bring water-based paints and/or permanent markers and tag the exterior of the vehicle with the following:
Your team’s name
Write something on the bus that you or your teammates want to let go of in your lives
Submit a photo of your team mate (or proxy) with your graffiti on the bus as proof that you were there. Post your image on social media tagged with @GISHBUS, #GoodybyeGISHBUS & #GISH.
Note: Do not write over another team’s messages and leave room for other people! Also, please note that this is an industrial park. Use common sense, follow laws, don’t disturb the neighboring businesses and give high-fives to any Gishers you see. DO NOT ENTER THE BUS OR DISTURB THE TROLL INSIDE. We mean it. Doing so could mean forfeiture of points or disqualification from the Hunt.
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Written by Dan Tyre
One of the most important decisions first-time entrepreneurs and sales leaders face is when and how to hire their first salesperson. Hiring too aggressively — or not hiring for the right role — can lead to accordion growth, and too much caution stunts sales and company growth.
Your first sales hire also has a big impact on team culture. Basically, this is one decision you really don’t want to screw up.
These five steps cover knowing the right time to make your first sales hire and attracting the right candidates so your company enjoys sustained growth and a killer company culture for years to come.
5 Steps for Making Your First Sales Hire
Step 1: Define customer acquisition goals and budget
Most companies have a financial plan estimating revenue growth. This spreadsheet should show the number of net new customers the company needs to meet or exceed that plan every month.
You should regularly review this count to determine how many new clients you need over the next three to six months (depending on the sales cycle). This ensures you always have the resources to hit your new customer number.
The second part of this equation is figuring out what you can afford to spend on sales resources to achieve that number. In most cases, you should expect to pay 15-25% gross profit back into sales compensation — but for many small companies, this is a cash flow and investment issue.
Understanding your financial guidelines answers a lot of questions up front and makes you aware of when and who you can afford to hire.
Most entrepreneurs start out as the first and only salespeople for their companies, but eventually, they become too busy. If you’re an entrepreneur who’s spending more than two hours a day on interacting with prospects — or generating new business — it’s probably time to hire a salesperson who can take over for you.
If you’re a sales team of one who’s ready to make that first hire to expand the team, you’ll know it’s time to hire when you aren’t able to meet your number — but the pipeline or opportunities are plentiful.
Step 2: Identify your business needs and build a job description around them
Establishing the skills, characteristics, and qualifications your first salesperson needs is critical. The requirements will be different for every business.
Do you want this person to spend more time on the phone or attending in-person meetings? Should they focus on new business development or work with current customers? And will they initiate and nurture client relationships or pass them along?
Once you’ve answered these questions, do your research. Search job boards on LinkedIn and Monster to find job descriptions for similar roles, and use those descriptions as a jumping-off point for your own posting.
Before it goes live, have another trusted salesperson or colleague review the description to make sure it’s logical and will attract the right type of person.
There’s a lot of discussion about the importance of background, business experience, and certifications in hiring. Most of it is a lot of noise.
When in doubt, look at a person’s track record, results, curiosity, coachability, and work ethic. And always trust your hiring manager to decide which of these characteristics are most important to the role and the team.
My personal preference is hiring for aptitude. The easiest, most cost-effective way to build a sales organization is to hire smart people who are willing to learn and teach them the skills they need as your team and company grows.
Step 3: Get lost in the details
Don’t skimp on the details. As you’re writing the job description, outline what a potential candidate needs to know about the position. A good way to identify these details is by thinking through what an interviewee would ask. Here are a few examples of role-specific details you should flesh out:
Title: What will this person’s title be? Are you open to title negotiation?
Compensation: Allocate an appropriate salary and include variable compensation based on their performance metrics.
Reporting structure: Who will this salesperson report to?
Quota: What is the minimum acceptable revenue for the salesperson who’s been in this position for a year?
Ramp-up quota: What will this salesperson’s ramp-up period be and what will their reduced number be in the meantime?
Territory: Where will this salesperson’s leads and customers come from (zip code, vertical market, country, or other)?
Travel: Is there travel involved? If so, how many weeks per quarter/year will they be expected to be on the road?
Social media requirements: Should they have an online presence already? Will they be expected to blog or maintain a social media account?
Sales tools: Is there a tool, software, or CRM they should be familiar with? Are you open to hiring a person who doesn’t have this background?
Think through relevant details before you start sourcing candidates because these are the things that have a big impact on who will want to interview for the position.
And know when to be firm and when to be flexible. If you find a great candidate but they want a larger salary than you’re offering, be honest with them — and your own team — about whether you can and should make an exception.
Step 4: Implement a strong interview process (and stick to it)
The hiring process requires a lot of time and effort. It’s tempting to pick an average candidate just so you can get back to work. Don’t do it.
You risk hiring a candidate that will provide average results and leave gaps in your team’s structure. Firing them will require more time and training resources to get the right person up to speed.
Talk with qualified candidates multiple times to get an accurate picture of who they are and what they’re capable of. Here’s a standard interview process (depending on your organization’s size and maturity, some of these duties will fall either to HR, a recruiter, or the hiring manager):
Step 1: Conduct warm outreach and review resumes
Step 2: Schedule a phone screening
Step 3: Set up in-person interviews
Step 4: Bring back final candidates for in-person interviews, including a role play component
Step 5: Follow up and gauge interest in the role
Step 6: Check references on your final candidate
Step 7: Agree on the offer, start date, etc.
If you’re working with a larger team or a recruiter, decide who will be responsible for each stage of the interview process. You should also ask each candidate the same general questions. Finally, it’s a good idea to create a spreadsheet of candidates with scores to their answers, cultural fit, and more.
Another key hiring strategy I rely on is “backdoor references.” Candidates will rarely provide poor references to a potential employer. Instead, find several people from the candidate’s background and contact them via LinkedIn to verify your applicant’s claims. This tactic has saved me from a few bad hires.
Step 5: Source the right candidates
Most startups look for salespeople with a unique set of attributes — HubSpot calls them the top 2%. To find these candidates, you’ll have to go through 98% of folks who are an average to poor fit.
Don’t give up and never settle. Create a mini-pipeline of candidates who fit some or all the criteria you’ve set, so you always have a pool of highly qualified salespeople to draw on.
Follow these five steps and you’ll hire the right people at the right time. Do your research, define a role that will help your business grow, and wait for the best fit. Your diligence and patience will pay off.
Go to our website: www.ncmalliance.com
Don’t Blow It: 5 Steps to Making Your First Sales Hire Written by Dan Tyre One of the most important decisions first-time entrepreneurs and sales leaders face is when and how to hire their first salesperson.
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I was reading a thread on Quora the other day in which people were sharing tricks they knew of that car salespeople used to get people to buy.
One guy shared a couple he was aware of (he wasn’t a salesperson himself), but then went on to say that 30% of car salespeople he’d interacted with and usually bought from, didn’t use tricks.
Ha!
What he meant was, 30% were so good that he didn’t spot the tricks they were using, so they seemed plausible and legitimate.
All car salespeople use tricks to get you to buy because if they didn’t.
1) They’d be in big trouble with their manager
2) They’d be struggling to hit their quota and be in big trouble with their manager
Whereas this post looks at the motor industry, these methods are used across sales in general.
Knowing in advance the lengths that people will go to to get you to buy from them means you can walk into the process fully armed and aware.
And if you’re anything like me, you can have some fun by dropping in comments like ‘Oh I see you’re trying to anchor me now, how cute’.
Trust me, that fucks with their flow and composure.
anchor on a sandy bottom
1. Anchoring
Every car sales dealership knows you will never pay sticker price unless you’re dumb as a rock.
So why do they bother, why not just put the actual price on the vehicle window?
Because once you have looked at the top end price you’re anchored to it and nothing you can do will entirely change that.
In your non-conscious mind you now have the belief that that is what the car is worth and anything you get off that price means you got a deal and you stuck it to the man.
They have done research with professors of psychology who knew they had been anchored and they still paid more than those who had not been anchored.
How Do You Avoid It?
It’s tricky to avoid anchoring because you need to know the starting point of the negotiation.
However, if you can say to yourself something like:
‘Whatever the sticker price is I’m going to take 25% off and start from that point’, then you may mitigate it somewhat.
And constantly reminding yourself you’ve been anchored can help too.
2. Getting You To Sign Your Name
They may ask you to write down on a scrap of paper what you’re prepared to pay for the car you have your eye on under the pretense that they need to take it to their manager.
Then they’ll ask you to sign it to show you’re genuine.
The minute you sign it, the chances you’re going to buy shoot up exponentially.
There is research to suggest that when we sign something either physically, or even electronically, is the moment we take ownership of it.
How Do You Avoid It?
Don’t write down the price you want, unless you’re prepared to go stupidly low in which case they probably won’t take it.
Similarly, don’t sign it unless you have decided that it’s the car for you and the price you wrote down is at LEAST 25% under sticker price.
3. Invoking Scarcity
They may tell you that the car is unique, one of a kind and will be gone if you as much as walk to the bathroom.
This invokes fomo (fear of missing out) and it can often influence us even when we know at a conscious level that it’s utter bullshit.
How Do You Avoid It?
Just ignore them.
Remind yourself that close to 50,000 cars are produced every single day in the US and there really isn’t just one that’s just right for you.
4. Priming
This is complicated to explain and very difficult to spot if the person is skilled at it.
An obvious example would be that they may ask you questions about previously buying a car. This is designed to activate the neural network for buying a car.
But it could be super subtle.
Let’s suppose you’re with your partner and one of you is more interested than the other.
The salesperson can seem to change the subject by asking something like, ‘I’m curious to know, when was the last time you two agreed on a purchase like a car?’
Seems innocuous, but really designed to activate the neural network of you agreeing on a purchase.
Priming is super, super, powerful.
How Do You Avoid It?
You have to be aware of it to avoid it and that’s not easy because if done well it sounds conversational.
If you spot something like the above example you could immediately start to think of a time when you and your partner failed to agree on something.
5. Imposing (false) Time Limits
I went to buy car for my wife earlier this year.
We were at a Jeep dealership and the guy was pushing me to make a decision there and then even though I told him several times and up front that I wouldn’t be buying that day.
The car was on at about $31k and he suddenly said in exasperation, ‘If I can get it down to $25k would you buy today?’
I said, ‘No, but at least I know what the starting point is when I come back’.
He insisted it was a today only price. Yet when I went back 2-weeks later, remarkably the deal was still available and we ended up paying a shade over $24k.
How Do You Avoid It?
Just ignore them
If they say they have other people interested in that car – ignore them
If they say that the offer they are extending to you ends that day – ignore them.
Any time limit they impose is almost certainly a false one designed to get you to put pen to paper.
The worst that can happen is you don’t get a car you liked, but trust me, they haven’t stopped making cars you like and another one will be right behind.
6. Going Missing
They really aren’t arguing with their sales manager or even sales director.
They’re not in an office fighting for you to get the price down and they’re not pleading with head office.
They’re just chilling.
The longer they leave you (within reason) the more you will be grateful for what they come back with and think you have a deal.
How Do You Avoid It?
Just remind yourself that this person is NOT on your side no matter how much he tries to suggest that.
He’s probably sat in a room playing on his phone just like you are.
7. Using The Law Of Reciprocity
When somebody does something for us or gives us something no matter how small, most of us then have a desire to give something back.
Think of when somebody pays you a compliment.
Your default reaction will be to compliment them back. It’s the law of reciprocity.
Fetching you a coffee or bottle of water may be a tiny thing in reality, but it can help nudge you toward the purchase.
How Do You Avoid It?
Just say no.
You can manage without a coffee for the time being
If you really do need a drink, then go and get it yourself from the vending machine when they ‘go missing’.
8. Complimenting You On Your Bargaining Skills
They want you to think you have had them over, that they are losing money.
They will tell you that you beat them and they are probably not getting any commission, but it’s okay, it happens from time to time.
They know that nobody likes to think they came off worse in a negotiation because it creates a status drop and a dopamine crash.
Similarly, if you believe their lies then you feel good about life as dopamine runs rampant through your bloodstream.
And guess what happens when you’re super stoked like that?
Yep, you’re more likely to be swayed by people than if you were in a more skeptical mood.
How Do You Avoid It?
If you’re really ballsy, you can drop your price again.
They will hate it, and probably you, but if they’re rushing to agree on a price it probably means you haven’t gone low enough.
Otherwise, just remind yourself they’re trying to lower their own status purposefully to get you to buy.
9. Using Conversational Hypnosis
This is used very well by pros, but probably not known by many and it’s also very misunderstood.
Hypnosis is simply a trance state, there’s nothing special about it – we all go into it many times a day without realizing.
If you have ever stared into space imagining your were somewhere else you were in trance.
Similarly, if you have driven from A to C and never noticed you passed through B, that’s because you were in a trance state.
And if you got so engrossed in a task that time stood still then you were in trance (and yes probably the flow state too).
This is how a car salesperson may use it.
‘Imagine you’re out in the car now.
You’re cruising down the turnpike maybe to go on vacation, you have the moonroof open – it’s a gorgeous summer day, the kids are quiet in the back because they’re engrossed in a movie and you’re listening to your favorite music on the amazing sound system blah blah blah.’
This is the mental equivalent of asking you to hold the puppy when you walk into a pet store.
They are trying to get you to ‘own’ the car before you have bought the car.
The moment you start to see all that stuff and really get engrossed in it, is probably the moment you need to get your cheque book out.
How Do You Avoid It?
As they ask you to imagine your journey on vacation, you see yourself broken down by the side of the turnpike with your partner ranting and raving at you for buying such a shitty car.
That should even things out.
10. Asking For A Strange Amount
Do you know how most homeless people can massive increase the amount of money they recieve from strangers?
Ask for not just a specific amount of money, but one that is unusual too.
If they ask for 56 cents it’s far more likely to elicit a positive response than if they just ask for some spare change.
It shatters our reference point of what we thought would happen as well as creating a believe that this person must really need it for something specific.
Your salesperson may beaver way on his calculator for a while before coming back and saying something like:
‘Okay, the lowest I can go is $23,719’
Oh wow you think, that’s a strange figure, he must be being straight with me.
Yeh right.
How Do You Avoid It?
You get your own calculator out (or the one on your phone) and do some feaverish calculations of your own.
And then you counter with, ‘I appreciate where you’re coming from, but as you can see from my calculations (show them you’re phone with the number in question on), I couldn’t possibly go higher than twenty one thousand, six hundred and twelve dollars and 19 cents.’
Boom!
You have just reversed the process and as most sales people will have no clue about the psychology behind what they just tried to do to you, they will be probably think you’re absolutely serious.
So there you have it, just 10 of the ways people use to try and get you to buy.
If you have any you’d like to add, please do leave me a comment!
The post 10 Cunning Ways Salespeople Get You To Buy (and how to avoid them) appeared first on A Daring Adventure.
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