#I haven't thought about this in so long having it refreshed in my memory I've been crying over it as I drew it

[crest-of-gautier]

started playing persona q... i meant for it to be a brief thing to do until i stopped being tired but then i played it for five and a half hours... im having so much fun!!! so look at these "screenshots" (translation: pictures i took with my phone) + some of my thoughts!!

they the fucking aroace flag!! also this opening is stuck in my head its sooo good 😭

no one is surprised but im doing the p3 side… im not sure how much differences there are between the p3 and p4 side but. i'll look that up later and see if p4 side is worth playing (or if i should just watch it) 🤔

i take my naming VERY seriously (this is a joke). since ryoji isnt in this game i named minato after him (i already regret it tbh anytime they refer minat by name i have to live with the consequences of my actions. and i think it'll be worse when souji actually shows up bc its going to be yosuke and yosuke... 💦)

also i need to say that the note taking feature is the fucking funniest thing. i wanted to be like "oh yeah btw theres a shadow here" and like... i did not fucking expect what i wrote to show up in the top right corner and i feel like i have been given too much power.

very fun game so far im really excited to play more :) i'm around halfway through the 2nd floor in you in wonderland!, i think i will play this game in my downtime throughout this month it's soo cute and the map making is scratching a huge itch in my brain tbh :3

[phanbeats]

🦉Positivity owl reporting for duty! This was sent by a friend who wants you to smile as much as you make them smile. Please feel free to respond to this ask by listing some of your happiest memories, favorite qualities about yourself, or discussing something you are super passionate about. You may send the owl to those who you feel deserve to smile (but no pressure).🦉

ahh hello!! you've caught me in a yappy mood and you've handed me an excuse to yap about ANYTHING I WANT so i shall!!!

we're going to talk about painting today bc that's what I'm doing rn. remember that one time Phil attempted to do a Bob Ross painting? well, i love him dearly, but he was not holding anything correctly. the paint palette should never be held vertically, bc that leads to the paint sliding right off onto you and every surface in the vicinity. the palette knife should be held carefully, like a pencil or perhaps a fork, with the tip of the blade parallel to the canvas and angled upwards so that when you apply it to the canvas in a downward diagonal stroke, the paint slides off of the knife smoothly and evenly. also, that easel Phil was using was worse than garbage, you need a sturdy surface to work on. And the paint brushes- pay attention to the way Bob Ross holds them through each step, because Phil was not doing that and it is in fact possible to achieve different effects with the paint based solely on the way you are holding your brush (or your palette knife, or any other tool you might use).

now, i personally have never tried oil painting, because oil paints are expensive and they take a long time to dry. i use acrylics instead. but i will say that Phil did the right thing by making sure his canvas was wet before he started! unfortunately, he used too much paint when he started on the clouds, and not enough when it came time to paint the mountains. Between that and the way he held the tools it really is no wonder it started to go wrong! And then, of course, he started panicking, which made things worse overall <3

i love that video, and i love pointing out all of the little mistakes Phil made as a novice, because those mistakes help me better understand how a beginner might approach painting. I've been doing it for so long that i no longer remember the mistakes I made personally, so it's very refreshing to be able to look at Phil's work and say "Oh, that's what went wrong!" I feel like it helps me better understand how the medium works from a technical perspective, because I often work intuitively and don't really know how to explain my thought process while working.

At this point I feel the need to share some of my work, because while this is just a hobby of mine, I do know what I'm talking about. I mostly paint landscapes, so that's what I will display here.

It should be noted that the last piece is my current work in progress; I haven't finished with the clouds yet at all (truly I've barely begun with the clouds) and I'm sure I'll find a few other things to fiddle with as well along the way, but I figured I ought to include it anyway as I used the same palette knife technique for the volcano that Bob Ross uses for the mountains in Phil's video.

The other paintings I've shared are older; the waterspout I finished about two years ago and the other two were each completed four or five years ago now. I don't keep the majority of my work, as I simply don't have enough wall space for it, but consequently I also don't have a ton of examples for my more recent work on hand.

Anyway, I hope this little rant has been entertaining! I'm going to get back to painting now. :)

[faulix]

btw, since people love lying about me on this website:

i have not known lolthia for a year like they claim. i first learned of lolthia about a month ago when i noticed their racist treatment of my friend. it was by chance we learned of their goretober list that had abuse glorification with prompts like medical/drugged torture, kidnapping, and stalking. we were able to see that lolthia had a pattern of writing yandere, murder, and other gross topics with a quick search of their blog. THAT is why i decided to say something and call them out. period

x

i find it kind of hilarious that you're claiming to have blocked me from servers and discord so you don't have proof. i wonder if you would even know my discord, yknow, the one handle i haven't changed in years. i mean, surely if you have me blocked you would be able to pull that up easy right? let's not forget the fact that you're claiming to know me personally when you cannot even get my pronouns right.

x

the funny part about this is that barely anyone who rb'ed your callout weren't even your mutuals, with a good amount of people actually adding in the notes how fed up they were with your bullshit. i am not a big enstars blog. i'm not even talking about enstars right now. i am a small blogger with less than 100 followers who ships with the only two minor characters in enstars. a majority of people who have rb'ed your callout are not big enstars bloggers. we are small time selfshippers just trying to have a fun time on tumblr dot com. the only one who is willfully taking themselves out of the fandom or even the circle of enstars selfshippers is you. you willfully create harmful content, you paint yourself as the victim, and you refuse to apologize for multiple things such as your racism and suicide baiting.

x

i am nice to others because they are not winding up their victim complex to make me look like the bad guy. again, if you have legitimate proof that we were once friends: look at your blocklist (or your server blocklist) and post my handle. i dare you. but then again, you probably couldn't do that considering you don't know what the username is. i think the funniest thing about it is that you can't even be bothered to post the server name, can't even bother to explain how we met (shocker considering i've only been into enstars actively for like barely a year now), it is you saying "well this is clearly my word against his" when you can't even provide the basic proof that you and i ever knew each other. you probably DON'T want me to post the ask where you said that you had finally found me and lamented that we could even be friends now if i would take back my words and be the bigger person. but then again, you kind of admitted that yourself when you said you didn't know who made the callout and even said it could be multiple people because you didn't know, but hey, let's take back that and spin it as a long rooted hate campaign by me. x

btw, when i first made this post, i held off on posting it because i haven't received nonanon asks for this, so i was able to chalk it up to you just trying to send more anons toward me to get me painted as the villain, but since this morning i woke up to you making a callout post about me that was filled with lies and fake screenshots it's about time i speak up. you may have deleted it, but don't worry, i made sure to screenshot everything you said and put it in an imgur album to refresh your memory. right here, don't worry, i took every screenshot word for word so you can remember what you said.

i'm not going to post every single screenshot to this. i think it would be insane behavior to make this post even longer. so let me just some up my feelings:

in your fake screenshots not only did you try to blur out what my name was (probably because these are not actually talking about me, but hey, you thought you could make it work, right?) but you proceed to, once again, continuously use the wrong pronouns for me, which is kind of weird since you're claiming to have known me for a year.

let me reiterate this so you get it through you thick skull: i use he/it pronouns and have been doing so for years now. your callout and screenshots repeatedly uses the wrong pronouns for me. do not even bother claiming you didn't know or that i recently changed them as my past blog and every single friend i'm close with will testify to my pronouns, and i'm absolutely sick of you misgendering and degendering me and my identity. considering you've been sending me several asks you could have easily looked and my pronouns in both my description and pinned, but hey, that's another lie for you, right?

then you post a screenshot of a server main chat, but it's very convenient of you to 1.) not get the server name and 2.) leave out the date you sent it, yknow, the things that you could at least say we shared together. i wonder why you didn't bother to get that information if it was so important. oh wait, i do! it's because you are deliberately lying about me to paint yourself as the victim.

i'm not going to even dissect the lies you weave together because, once again, you are speaking without proof. this is not a case of "my words against his" you are deliberately spreading lies on the grounds that you think no one will fact check you, you tool. again, if i was such a danger to you that i would deliberately make several accounts to surpass your "ban", why would you not post my discord username or the "alt accounts" i made to protect others for safety? why don't you do so now? oh! it's because you don't know them and are lying through your teeth.

i did not send you an ask where i told you that you needed to change your goretober list to get rid of the necrophilia. if i did, how about you post it with my url and call me wrong. not to mention the biggest thing i called you out on was the fact that you were glorifying and romanticizing abuse with drugged torture, kidnapping, and stalking. but sure let's gloss over that part because that would make you look bad!

there is nothing out of context in what you said or did, it is in plain english, several screenshots where you demonized a selfshipper of color because "they were more popular than you", pulled several excuses out of your ass to ship with a 16 year old, and put suicide baits in the main enstars tags, oh but don't worry! in your eyes the enstars fandom deserved it! and you want to paint yourself as innocent? give me a fucking break.

and the absolute gall of you to proclaim you acted like this because of your bpd, which you're still rb'ing sad bpd posts now. the nerve of you to assume i am not neurotypical when i have been struggling with autism and adhd all my life, and my own bpd for the past 14 years since i was diagnosed. it is not an act of ableism to call you out on your disgusting behavior towards people of color and abuse victims. i don't care about your backstory. you know exactly what you are doing and say that you are "exploring dark themes". no one believes you, and no one ever will. and miss me with that "i didn't know the shipper's race" as if you did not see the commissions you were directly complaining about them that shows them as not white very obviously. but hey, what's one more lie for you?

just so you know: every single ask you have sent me i have kept. from where you pretended to be 10 different people, all from your original ask where you think we should "just talk it out" without you taking any accountability, thanking me for the callout, pretending to be anons sticking up for you, and even threatening me with fake evidence that i have been in enstars servers sending death threats. but hey, since i didn't respond to those so you could have ammunition as so you could say i'm stalking you and villainizing you, i guess the next step would be a callout!

i will never be as obsessed with you as you are with me. you are the stupidest person on this planet if you genuinely thought i would not catch wind of what you were doing, from sending me and my friends and mutuals several asks to deliberately lying about me on your own blog. you have sent me over 50 asks in 24 hours, spamming my inbox with anons, but you couldn't even bother changing your typing style. you can't be bothered to tell people to watch out for this discord user because, again, you don't even know who i am. you can spin a web of lies to cover your ass, but barely anyone sees through it, and no amount of anons you send yourself will never convince anyone, especially strangers who has seen your blog. i do not care about how you no longer can look forward to your sick goretober where you glorify the abuse that real people go through. i am a grown adult with a job, school life, friends, pets, and so much more. maybe you could be the same if you shaped up and stopped being on tumblr. touch some grass for once. no one will believe you. i will not delete your callout. you have deliberately done horrible acts and acted like you were being demonized because "the enstars fandom and selfshippers are mean and cliquey", as if people don't see right through what you post without care and how you act. either apologize for what you have willfully done or log off and deactivate. i don't care which. leave me alone, leave my friends and mutuals alone, and grow up.

btw, i figured i would also throw this in the enstars tags so people would know about your horrible act and how you have treated me and demonized me for the past two days for standing up for my friends and the people you've hurt. here's the original callout btw, just in case anyone's new here! i don't care how badly you say this affects you because, again the only person trying to demonize you is you yourself. you lie about every aspect to save your ass and i will not take it. i mean, you tagged my "callout" with enstars tags (despite the fact that i never interact with the enstars fandom and have been talking about brc for the past month) but hey! if you wanna act like a clown i'll treat you like one.

you are an absolute moron if you think 1.) anyone would believe you considering your past behavior and 2.) thought i would just lay over and start crytyping for an apology. you are 20 years old acting like a spoiled toddler who got punished for throwing toys at others. i have more resolve, a backbone, and friends that will always care for me and support me, sorry if you can't relate. fuck you

[giggly-squiggily]

*me double checking that Fire Force is still on your fandoms list bc it's been a minute and a half*

YEEET REQUESTS!! I'm so excited to see them open again! Also I really hope you're hanging in there. I've been thinking of you as you go through this difficult time, my friend. 💖

*drumroll* OK OK so I've been having serious Fire Force brainrot this past week (I really gotta rewatch it, I love that show 🔥), so I come to you with a humble request for lee!shinra and ler!tamaki (the lucky lecher lure gal, bc I always get her and maki mixed up 😅)

I don't have a ton of specifics but the general idea is that Shinra absolutely cannot function when she tickles him; he gets so flustered he doesn't know whether to fight back or just let it happen 😂 (though I do hc that he would at least be coherent enough to cover his eyes in case her lure kicks in to protect her modesty, which only makes him more vulnerable to tickles and - you get the idea 😈)

Only if you want, as always, my friend! Can't wait to see what you do with this prompt if you decide to take it!! AND HAPPY FALLLLL I'M SO EXCITED FOR COOLER WEATHER!! 🍂🍂🍂

AHH NYM! *running jump hug* I'm so glad to hear from you! :D And with a Fire Force request HELLO? *squeals* God I haven't written for these guys in so long; this was so refreshing and lovely! (And girl SAME!!! It's their hair I swear- they both have the same dark put up look and face akljrekarjkejrj)

Oh my god Lee!Shinra my BELOVED! I've gotcha covered, girl! (got a little shippy at the end whoops! My hopeless romantic side; it gets the best of me lols) This was so fun to write, and I hope you like it! :D (AND YES LETS GO FALL!!!!)

In Shinra’s defense- it was a total accident.

“AH!” Tamaki screamed, arms shooting up to cover herself as she was splashed with water. She had been leaving her prayer session with Iris when she crashed into Shinra carrying a water pitcher.

“I’m so sorry! Here!” Facing away, Shinra yanked off his shirt, offering it to Tamaki.

“Why are you stripping?” She squealed, flushing as red as he did.

“I’m not! I’m trying to be a hero!” He cried back, still refusing to look. When he felt his shirt being taken and heard the sound of her pulling it on, he dared a peek. “Sorry, Tamaki…”

“It’s fine- I’m covered.” She sighed, pulling at the hem of his shirt. It was so big on her- falling mid thigh. At least the bottom of her prayer robes were dry. “Thank you. That would have been an awkward walk back.”

“Hm!” Shinra nodded, still looking rather flustered. A tense silence passed over them both, both too awkward to say anything. “Well- I better go! Um- keep the shirt! Bye!”

“Huh-Wait, Shinra-!” But he was already booking it away, leaving Tamaki standing on her own.

~~~

“And now he won’t even talk to me! It’s not like he really saw anything!” Tamaki groaned at the desk, poking at her lunch. It had been a few days since the lecher incident, and Shinra had been avoiding her like the plague. Anytime they crossed paths, he’d go bright red and give her a wide girth of space-avoiding her eyes.

It reminded her of the kids back at school. The old wound ached in painful memory.

“Hm…that is strange. Shinra never acted like that before.” Iris nodded around her spoonful of pudding, looking thoughtful. “Did he say anything else before running off?”

“Nothing I haven’t told you already.” Tamaki sank further, drooping with gloom. “I just want things to go back to normal. And to give him back his shirt.” It was tucked away in her room, folded and pressed. “He probably got tired of being polite and doesn’t want to take a chance with me anymore.”

“That’s not true! You know he’s not that kind of guy.” Maki reassured, reaching out and taking Tamaki’s hand. “You two just need to talk, that’s all. Put your guards down and just come out with how you’re feeling about each other!”

“Come out with…” Tamaki blinked, then she flushed bright pink, dropping her chopsticks. “What-wait, wait- Huh?”

“Too soon?” Maki shared a look with Iris, smiling a tad sheepishly.

“They’ll figure it out.” Iris stole Tamaki’s chopsticks before nipping a bite of her lunch.

~~~

“Feeling about each other?” Tamaki mused on her walk back to the bunks, shaking her head. Maki was in la la land again- she had to be! Why else would she ask such a question…

As if sensing her thoughts, Shinra appeared before her, eyes downcast in his own thoughts. He looked up just as she did. “Ah! Tamaki! Eh- hey!” He yelped, face red as he looked anywhere but her for an escape.

That’s it. Enough is ENOUGH.

“Oh no- you’re not running away from me!” Tamaki declared, more pissed off than flustered. Without really thinking about it, she charged at him, tackling him into the ground. “Talk to me! Why are you being so weird?”

“T-Tamaki! Let me up!” Shinra had his head turned all the way up, refusing to look back down. “I can’t-”

“What? You can’t be my friend anymore?” Anger curled into hurt, her voice cracking some halfway. “You’re done with me because of the lecher lure?”

“What? No- Not at all!” Shinra looked back at her, panic replacing his nerves. “Tamaki, that’s not it-”

“Then tell me!” She cried, returning to anger. “Tell me what the problem is!”

Shinra opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He looked like a fish out of water, the words stuck in his throat as he helplessly looked anywhere and everywhere but her. “I….I can’t say.”

“Why not?” She glared.

“Cause…cause it’s embarrassing!” He covered his face with both hands, flopping back into the ground. “You’ll hate me.”

“....” Tamaki stared at him. Then- without warning, she grabbed his sides, squeezing.

“AH! Ahehehehehhehe!” Shinra arched at the touch, giggling. “T-Tahahahamki!”

“I don’t hate you- I don’t think I could ever hate you.” She nodded, feeling rather ruffled. “And I don’t care how embarrassing it is- I want to know! It’s the least you can do after all that time ignoring me!”

“I’m sohoohooohhrry! I prohohohohmise it’s nohohohot you!” He cackled, hands covering his face as he kicked and squirmed. “Whehehehell it kihihiihihinda ihiihiihihs? Ahehahahahahha Tahahahhamahahahahki!”

“Which one is it? Is it me or is it not me?” Normally she’d be more irritated by such mixed signals, but Shinra was talking to her again- well; laughing with her anyway. She scritched her nails along his belly and waist, giggling when he squealed. “For a hero, you’re sure bad at talking about yourself. Out with it!”

“AHehahahahahhahhahaha! Noohohohooho, dohoohohohohn’t tihihihihihickle me thehehehehhere!” Shinra’s hands shot to hers, stopping midway. “Nohohoohooho fhahahhahahhair!”

“Too scared to touch me? Afraid you’re gonna get burned?” She teased, squeezing along the underside of his ribs and making him scream. “Fine by me- I get to keep tickling you! Now- TALK!”

“Iihiihihihiihi cahahahhahahn’t! He squealed, face flushed a pretty pink. “TahahhamakIHIHIHIIHII!”

“I’m waiting~” She had switched over to his legs, squeezing his knees with both hands. “You know- cats do this.” She began kneading his upper thighs, further driving him wild. “Talk to me or I’m going for your feet!”

“TAHAHHAHAMKI NOHOHOOHOHOHOOOO!” He howled, punching the ground repeatedly as he thrashed about. Tamaki wasn’t bluffing- she’d absolutely go for his worst spot. “PLEAHHAHAHHASE MEHEHEHEHRCY!”

“Are you gonna talk?” She gave him a small break, stretching out until she was pinning his legs with her body, flicking off a sandal. “Or are we gonna have to get serious?” To further her point, she shaped her hand into a cat paw with her pyrokinesis. Her trademark trick- Shinra was gonna DIE. “Last chance.”

Shinra gasped for air, hands covering his face as he tried to compose himself. The words rattled his ribs, desperate to be heard, but it was just too, too much! “Tamaki…”

“Hm.” Was all she said at his tone. Then her cat paw attacked.

“AH!” Shinra couldn’t speak- he couldn’t think. He couldn’t really do anything at that moment. The second those fiery claws touched- warm and fluffy despite what they were made of- he was racked with ticklishness all throughout his body. It was like she’d found the one bundle of nerves that activated the rest- making every tickle spot on him burst to life. “AHEHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!”

“Wow- and I thought you were bad without the claws.” Tamaki mused with an impish grin, delighted. Shinra was a mess, flailing behind her like a fish out of water as he guffawed. His face was getting redder- and his smile; normally a nervous tick- looked so real and genuine it made her stop breathing for a moment.

Stop breathing…Oh sh- “Shinra! You okay?” She stopped, remembering that air was kinda necessary to live. Upon ending her tickles, Shinra curled into himself, hiccups breaking up his giggle fits as he twitched in tickly residue. 

“Ahehehehe…hehehhee…I’m ohohokay. Nothing to wohohorry about..” He reassured her, easing her worry. When he could breathe normally again, he rolled onto his back, covering his face with a hand. “Sorry…”

“Huh? Why are you apologizing? I was the one tickling you to near death.” Tamaki shook her head- then paused. “Oh wait- this is the earlier thing, right?”

“Yeah. I…” Shinra dropped his hand as he willed himself to look at her. “I’m about to tell you something…and I don’t know how you’re gonna react, but please hear me out.”

“Okay…?”

“Right. So…erm.” Shinra seemed to shake, mouth pressed into a thin line as he willed the words front and center. To her surprise, he seemed rather flushed- a new shade of pink coloring his already hot cheeks. “The reason I’ve been avoiding you…it’s erm..my shirt.”

“....huh?” That was it? “But- you lent it to me! If you just wanted it back-”

“No! No- that’s not- that’s not it.” Shinra quickly cut in, flushing even more. “God, why is this so hard to say? I…I don’t know what happened, but when I saw you standing there in it…something kinda clicked.” Shinra sat up, looking at his hands as he spoke. “I erm…I…”

Tamaki blinked at him, taking it in. Then her eyes grew wide, cheeks warming as the realization hit her. “Shinra…are you confessing?”

Shinra seemed to flush more, but then he nodded.

Put your guards down and just come out with how you’re feeling about each other!

She internally apologized to Maki for doubting her intuition.

“I guess I am…I’ve er- kinda liked you for a while now. I figured at first it was just us bonding, but then I started seeing, you know? How you light up when we decide to get something good to eat, or how you never give up on your ambitions and goals to get stronger. How you sing to yourself when you’re cleaning up or cooking, and how you always play with your hair when you’re in mid-thought. I just…” Shinra shook his head, smiling a small but real smile. “I realized when I looked at you in my T-Shirt: ‘Wow. I’m falling for this girl.’

But then I panicked and ran cause…yeah.” Shinra chuckled sheepishly, finally looking her in the eye. “I’m not…entirely sure what I’m doing here. I’m probably gonna mess up a hundred times over before I get it right, and I’m sorry if I do. But…if you’d have me, I’d like to be more than friends, Tamaki.”

More than friends…Be still, her beating heart. Looking at Shinra, hearing him speak in that soft voice- the voice he seemed only to reserve for her she realized now, her vision grew blurred. Shinra’s nervous smile grew panicked at her tears, but before he could do anything, Tamaki threw herself into his arms, knocking them both over once more.

“You’re so stupid, Shinra.” She said against his chest, no malice in her voice. “Of course I’d have you.” She sat up, gathering her own courage. “You’re the first real person that didn’t shy away or avoided me- not with the lure, and not when everything was said and done. You saved me more times than you’ve realized. You’re my hero, Shinra. If you’d have me…I’d like that too.”

Shinra seemed to stop breathing. Then he was smiling, really- truly smiling. “Tamaki…” He brushed his thumb over her cheek, cupping her face as his other fingers played with the loose strands of her hair. She leaned down to kiss him-

“Devil! Lady Tamaki- what are you two doing at this hour?” Arthur’s cry of surprise sent Tamaki stumbling, crashing into Shinra’s chest. Amazingly enough, her lure didn’t kick in. A small blessing in a mess of flustered moments.

“Arthur, could you PLEASE not shout? You’ll wake the Lieutenant!” Shinra growled, helping Tamaki up before turning to his roommate.

“Apologies- a knight king as myself must always make sure his kingdom is safe.” If he caught on, Arthur didn’t say- but there was something a bit knowing in that smile of his. “My energy bar is running low- I must recharge. Good evening.” With that, he turned on his heels, disappearing back into the room.

“Odd as ever.” Shinra laughed, shaking his head. Tamaki snorted in her hand, just as amused. “Still- we better call it a night here; who knows who we’ve woken up with our antics.” Shinra swung their hands together before leaning in, pressing a kiss against Tamaki’s cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Sounds good. Goodnight, hero.” Tamaki squeezed his hand in return before letting him go, making her way back to her own room. Shinra signed in content, leaning into the wall beside him.

“So the devil does have a weakness.” Arthur’s voice broke him out of his thoughts, startling him. “Two weaknesses. Good to know.”

“Why you- GET OVER HERE!”

Thanks for reading! :D

[firecoloredwater]

Ask meme: 6, 7, 22, 30

...I had the answers 99% done and then my computer froze and I had to restart and lost all of them. So OKAY, TRYING AGAIN

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?

Not really! I wish I did. I am apparently very weird in that a fic (or anything I read) needs to be a certain amount of unfamiliar, or my brain won't engage enough for me to enjoy it. If I've reread something too much then my brain will go 'oh I know what's happening, I don't need to pay attention' and wander off and get distracted. Making myself focus deliberately just means being bored and annoyed. I am also really good at remembering stories (and like nothing else) so I can read a fic twice, maybe three times if it's especially long/complex, before I have to put it down for anywhere from some months to a few years to let myself forget enough details to make it new enough to read again. (For related reasons, I basically never read my own fics for enjoyment. I'll reread to refresh my memory before writing more, or while rereading comments, but I know my own fics too well to really ever approach them as a reader. I might get enjoyment from 'oh I actually pulled that alliteration/foreshadowing/etc off well' but not just from reading the story.)

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?

Uhhhhh somewhere in the range of infinite. Depends on how you define ideas for fics? If you mean fics I'm actively working on/hoping to write in the near future, that would be... about 6-8, probably? But if you mean fics I'd like to write even if I don't actually expect to have the chance, that gets up into several dozen immediately. If you include ideas that I haven't specifically thought about how I'd write them, then we're probably into the hundreds. I am an endless font of ideas and it does not turn off.

22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing?

Usually vaguely! But it ranges from 'and then everything is good the end' to like, a two-sentence bullet point of the ending scene(s). I don't plan ahead in much detail, because I do a lot of discovering and adding things as I write, and what I throw in that way will affect later scenes. So if I had a lot of detail planned for the end, I'd just have to replan/rewrite anyway when I got there, and probably be annoyed about losing lines I liked. So it works out better for me and the fic if I keep my plans minimal. There is an exception for very short fics. If I'm writing a fic that's basically just one or two scenes, and the entire momentum of the fic is writing toward the end, then I can know exactly what the end is. But that's fairly rare, partly because I also need to be able to write it all in one shot, and I rarely have that much time.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

.......................well I was going to dump a scene from one of the self insert AUs here, but it turns out two years is enough for me to no longer love the writing in that. So uhhhhhh guess I'll just. Write a new thing real quick!

(@executeness and @denialcity, enjoy)

Every clan has their own way of finding soulmates. Some are more reliable than others, and most are closely guarded. That's never mattered to Takami: the Uchiha's tradition is reliable, so any uncertainty that other clans live with isn't his problem.

He is fifteen and it is the first dawn after the winter solstice. The fire in the center of the Uchiha compound has burned all night, built steadily larger until it roars, and the flames dance as high as his chin.

Takami is not the only fifteen year old with a sharingan, but he is the clan heir, so he goes first. The entire clan sings as the first rays of dawn break through the horizon, and Takamii steps forward, sharingan burning as he shapes chakra and breathes a thin, precise stream of his own fire into the core of the flames.

He's thought before about how it would look, whether he would see his soulmate's form made of ashes and embers swirled within the flame, or if the flames themselves would twist into the right shape for only his eyes, or....

It's clearer than he imagined. As if he's looking through a window, tinted gold and shifting in the breeze, but otherwise the overlapping images are perfectly clear, as if he were looking at reality directly. But there are so many people--the fire shows the watcher's soulmate, but also everything around them, and there are so many overlapping forms. Takami prowls around the fire in a circle, watching the shifts within it, tracking which faces stay in focus.

He can hear. The longer he watches, the more sound grows. It's still thin and distant, but seems to come from deep within his own ears, so even the whole clan singing together can't quite drown out what his soulmates hear. A song, of course, and orders....

There is one flaw in the Uchiha method of identifying soulmates, Taka realizes: it's public.

He finishes a last circle of the fire. The song hasn't faltered despite the time he took, and it continues as he stops, and turns to face his father.

His whole family: Father and mother and four younger brothers, even Kunimi, who drank enough tea to keep anyone else awake for a week and is standing in his proper place with his face screwed up in determination. But Tajima is the clan head, so Takami faces him first.

Tajima's voice is pitched to carry over the song. "Have you seen what you are looking for?"

"I have," Takami says, steady as if this were any ordinary year. "There were a lot of faces, I had to move to be sure which one is mine. We should make people dance, next year."

"Then your soulmate is within the clan?"

Takami grins. "Hako's mine," he announces.

Several voices falter then, and people in the crowd shift, and surprise makes it through even Hako's near-perfect composure.

Takami is the heir, but Hako is beloved, the most beautiful and the most perfect and the most wanted. No one in the clan had even bothered to pretend they were more interested in learning Takami's soulmate now than Hako's next year.

They're not wrong, all those people chasing after Hako's every glance: Hako is the best and they should all be honored to have his sight fall on them. But he's Takami's brother first, and now no one can ever try to interfere.

In the firelight, so subtle than only the sharingan could catch it, Hako relaxes. Beside him, Madara sneaks a thumbs up, and his grin distorts his singing for a few lines.

It's not this easy, Takami knows. They're soulmates, so they won't be separated now, or expected to put anyone else first. But they'll still be expected to have friends and get married, and the whole clan and half their allies will chase Hako for both of those. Some of them will remember that some people have multiple soulmates, and keep hoping for another year that Hako will claim them even though Taka hasn't.

At the same time, it is this simple. Takami and Hako belong together, and no one will ever question it again.

Takami steps away from the fire, and goes to stand beside Hako instead of in his proper place. He takes up the song as the others look for their soulmates: one outside the clan, and one within it.

There are more traditions, more celebration, and Takami goes through them gladly with Hako at his side. Even so, Hako can read him like no one else.

It's late morning before they get even a few seconds out of everyone's sight, but the instant it's possible, Hako has Takami out of sight and hearing.

Out of sight like this, Hako isn't perfect either: his forehead is creased and worry bites in at the corners of his eyes. "Nii-sama, tell me you didn't lie."

"I didn't."

Hako frowns, his forehead creasing more, but it's true. They're soulmates. Takami didn't lie.

"Then," Hako says slowly, "why are you bothered?"

"I saw you." The images are still in Takami's eyes, hovering with sharingan clarity. The whole clan singing around the fire, centered on Hako, posed and perfect. And overlapping, a training field, four boys and a man with a voice Takami knows, barking harsh orders. "I also saw a Senju. Butsuma's son. One we haven't seen on the field yet."

"He has enough sons," Hako says harshly, then catches himself. "What did you think?"

Takami didn't think. He just watched, and knew better than to reveal anything like that. And Hako was right there to smooth things over, as always. "It doesn't matter. He'll probably just die anyway."

"You don't need him anyway," Hako says. "You have me."

"Yeah." Takami grins. "Always."

"Always," Hako promises, even though there's no need to, and then he moves on to batting a wrinkle out of Takami's clothes and herding him back out to the celebrations.

The next year, Hako looks into the fire and sees Takami alone.

Six months after that, Senju Kawarama arrives on the battlefield. He's grown, but Takami still knows that face.

He puts a scar on it.

[solesurvivorkat]

'Shadow of Steel' - the 'ghosts' never left me...

Maybe it's because I've started wearing my 'Maxson coat' again for the fall/winter season (yes, I seriously have one IRL. I love this coat so freaking much, lol. It's ridiculous how much I love this coat, lmao. And I've gotten *SO* many compliments on it from people! But I digress...), but I've been thinking of 'Shadow of Steel' a lot lately (my 'Fallout 4' fanfic, for anyone who doesn't know).

Truthfully, I really never stopped thinking about it. Even in my busiest days, it was still always in the back of my mind. I never wanted to give up on it, and even when I thought I might have to just let it go forever, it was still lurking around in the back of my brain, demanding I continue the characters' stories (especially since Nora is still technically kidnapped in it and I actually feel bad about it, and Arthur Maxson hates me for it, LMAO).

I don't expect many people to still care about this fic - and considering how much time has gone by since I first started writing it, I wouldn't blame you. And it's not a short fic, either. It's quite long. So to anyone you might want to read it or start over from the beginning to refresh their memory of it, it's a bit of a feat.

Looking back on it, there's parts of the fic that I'm not crazy about - either b/c I'm not 100% thrilled with the way I wrote stuff at that time (quality-wise), or little tiny decisions I made with characters here & there. However, people who have commented on the fic have been sooo generous, kind, and flattering to me regardless, and I can't even put in to words just how much their words have meant to me (especially a review that I actually got kind of recently, to my surprise, and it blew me away... if you're reading these words now, I will respond to your comment as soon as I can! I haven't forgotten/ignored you! <3 )

SO.

Here's my 'thought': despite everything, I DO want to continue writing this fic! Even if no one read it, it's still something that's important to me - even if I can't put into words why, exactly.

If even one or two people reading this would be willing to continue enjoying a future of 'Shadow of Steel', I put it to you - would you rather see: - a 'rebooted do-over' of 'Shadow of Steel', starting from the very beginning - the main plot would be exactly the same, but small (insignificant in the long run) details would be updated/rewritten in a way I feel more satisfied with - and once caught up to the current point, the fic would continue from there. - OR - - I just keep whatever's already there there, and just continue straight on from this point.

Should I fix/update what I've already written and (attempt to) make the writing a little better, or just move forward? (I feel like it's similar to when an artist looks at a drawing they made long ago & thinks, '...My skills are different now. I could draw that better this time around.') Please let me know what you think, anyone! Your feedback would be greatly appreciated! <3

[tsuki-here]

Okay so @maja-cherub made some Beast Machine Rattrap posts, and I've also been wanting to write a proper essay about the episode "The Weak Component" for a while now [and recently was ranting to a mutual about it like a week ago, so it's still fresh in my mind. So yeah, shout out to @j-starchaser for letting me rant about it and also for being the beta reader/editor for this essay], so here we are. Long text post beneath the cut, and of course Beast Machine spoilers-

To begin with, I enjoyed watching Beast Machines, despite the fact that yes, it has its share of flaws. Also, Rattrap is my favorite character in both Beast Wars and Beast Machines, so some bias might come through. But I've watched some YouTube essays talking about the full Beast Machines series, as well as text posts/comments by others that say they feel The Weak Component is the worst or one of the worst episodes of the series because of the way Rattrap acts/the actions he takes throughout the episode. [AKA, he's out of character]. So I just wanted to give my view on that and the episode in general.

For me personally, The Weak Component is one of, if not, my favorite episode of Beast Machines. I've only watched the series from start to finish once, but have gone back to watch that episode somewhere around 5-10 times, including once again to refresh my memory on some dialogue for this analysis. Of course, this is a matter of personal preference, and everyone is entitled to their own likes and dislikes. A large portion of why I like the episode so much is because of the amount of Rattrap screen time and focus. So, there's some of the bias I mentioned haha.

As for the argument that Rattrap is out of character, I both agree and disagree to an extent. Yes, in this episode Rattrap does things that he never did or would have done in Beast Wars. However, this is a situation that never happened in Beast Wars. The events and situations in this episode are not something we've seen Rattrap deal with before, and are clearly shown to be very stressful, as well as mentally and emotionally taxing for him. I'll go through the episode, breaking down the individual stress factors and his reactions to them.

To begin with a base line: Before this episode even takes place, there's already a number of stress-inducing factors at play. The Maximals’ entire situation seems completely hopeless. The little group of Optimus, Cheetor, Blackarachnia, Nightscream, and Rattrap against Megatron, his three vehicon generals, and the entire population of Cybertron (the latter made into mindless drones to obey Megatron). They're in an extremely unfair, dangerous, and practically hopeless fight with the entire fate of their home on their shoulders. On top of that, Rattrap can't transform. In beast mode, he has no real weapons to fight with, and has to make do with what his animal form is capable of. Meanwhile, everyone else can transform and has weapons/powers. We know from both Beast Wars and The Weak Component that protecting his friends is something extremely important to Rattrap. So, to be in such an outnumbered and dangerous predicament, to be unable to fight alongside the other Maximals and help them in the way he wants to, and had been capable of before, is immensely frustrating and upsetting to him. He went so far as to take 'transformation enhancers' to try and force his body into doing what he desperately wanted it to be able to do. Furthermore, they still haven't even figured out what's happened to Rhinox or Silverbolt, and Rhinox especially was clearly important to Rattrap, so him still being missing is likely also weighing on him.

Now, episode 6 happens. Rattrap is out on a mission with Cheetor and Nightscream. They didn't seem to want to bring Rattrap with them to begin with since they thought he was likely to just get in the way. And each time Rattrap tries to help or contribute in some way, he's scolded and told to knock it off. The other two even come up with a plan together that they completely leave Rattrap out of the loop on, and then are angry with him when he interferes under the belief that Cheetor was in danger, which ruins the plan, and gets Cheetor hurt by accident. Worse, after messing up the plan he hadn't been informed of in the first place, he finds out that his transformed mode has no weaponry, so he can't even clean up the unintentional mess.

When returning to the base, Cheetor and Nightscream talk down to Rattrap the whole time, and don't seem to care about his attempts at explaining himself. It had been an important moment to him, as it was the first time he had managed to transform to robot mode at will, and it was because he saw Cheetor in what he perceived as danger. The strong desire he felt to protect those dear to him was the motivation he'd been missing. Before, he'd been selfishly concerned about not transforming for his own wants, but he put that aside and was fully focused on only wanting to save Cheetor.

But neither of the other two really try to understand him, and harshly tell him that he shouldn't have bothered helping, since he made things worse. He's crushed that his friends aren't happy for him being able to transform at last, and aren't appreciative of how his only desire and intention had been to help.

He's then seen talking to the unconscious Optimus about how useless he feels, describing himself as a lemon. Though he doesn't seem angry with Optimus, knowing that there was no intention on his end for things to turn out the way they had, but he still blames him to an extent for being the one to convince them all to let the Oracle upgrade their bodies, only to feel that he's been remade broken and much weaker than he'd been before.

In his talking to himself, he transforms, as if to show what he's been turned into. At that exact moment Cheetor, Nightscream, and Blackarachnia walk in and immediately start snapping at him for potentially giving Megatron the chance to lock on to his signal and track them to their base. Cheetor even goes as far as physically tackling him to the ground and yelling at him. Though this does give Rattrap the chance to realize that he had accidentally downloaded Megatron's vital stats during the mission, and that he is very vulnerable and weakened at the moment. He suggests that now is the time to attack, but is quickly told “no” by Cheetor, who insists that they must remain at the base to protect Optimus until he's recovered.

Then they leave Rattrap, only to go to a different room to talk about him behind his back. He listens in on the conversation, hearing how they all think that he's not contributing anything and needs to be looked after. Nightscream even goes as far as suggesting they 'cut him loose'. Considering the position they're in, with Megatron having an entire army searching for them at all times, and all of them knowing that Rattrap cannot defend himself, this is essentially Nightscream suggesting that they should exile Rattrap and leave him to die. [To which thankfully Cheetor at least has the sense to get angry and reject that idea immediately.] Tired of the treatment he's getting and of being seen as a dead weight to the team, Rattrap leaves to try and resolve the problem by himself.

During this time, he's being subjected to even more new stresses piling on top of each other. Now he's able to transform, only to find out that all his struggles were seemingly for nothing. He thinks he's no more capable of helping than when he was stuck as a rat. All of his friends are treating him awfully and being completely unsupportive of the issues he's going through. They’re talking behind his back, have no faith in him, and one of them is even advocating for kicking him out entirely.

Rattrap then comes up with a plan to solve the issue himself. He goes to Megatron with a deal: give me weapons and in exchange, I'll protect you until morning while you recover. When Megatron then points out that he can just kill Rattrap while he's there alone, Rattrap counters that he will just send a distress signal to the other Maximals. But Megatron calls the bluff, and says he knows he wouldn't have come to him if he had anywhere else to turn to, and Rattrap does genuinely feel that way. He doesn't feel that he can rely on the other Maximals to help him, and has no choice but to turn to Megatron instead. He is so disillusioned with the other Maximals, that he throws away the device that would have sent the distress signal, believing that it won't be of any use to him. He feels so uncared for that he doesn't think the others would bother coming to help him if he called.

And Megatron tries to take advantage of this, by offering Rattrap to work with him instead, as a vehicon. Of course, Rattrap declines, but Megatron pushes it. He gives Rattrap a powerful weapon suit, and tells him how he would make such a good ally on his side, while the Maximals clearly don't want him anymore.

Rattrap had no intention of betraying the Maximals with this deal. He only said that he'd protect him because he was certain that no one was going to leave the base anyway. Rattrap was promising to protect Megatron from a threat he knew wasn't coming, certain that he wouldn't have to fight the others.

However, Megatron's blatant emotional manipulation does seem to cause Rattrap even more doubts. He's successfully calling out all of Rattrap's insecurities, telling him all of the things he knows he’s already thinking in his vulnerable state. He tells him how the other Maximals don't care or appreciate him, or how Optimus has fed him nothing but lies and false promises of power that he could never deliver on when he convinced them to have their bodies reformatted.

Then things only spiral further out of control when Cheetor, Nightscream, and Blackarachnia show up under the belief Megatron is holding Rattrap against his will and he needs saving. Rattrap is clearly upset and anxious about them being there, as he's now placed into a horrible lose/lose situation.

He can break his deal with Megatron, and they will be attacked and not permitted to leave unharmed. They are in Megatron's headquarters, without a plan, and without Optimus. They can be easily overrun by vehicons if they try to fight there. And if they just try to run, Rattrap would be forfeiting the weapon suit, and would be going back to just being a dead weight again who can't contribute and needs constant protection.

Or if he keeps his word and protects Megatron, especially with him guilt tripping Rattrap that it's morally wrong to attack an injured and defenseless opponent, Rattrap will be betraying his friends. Even if he tries to explain his reasoning afterwards, there's a good chance they'll exile him anyways and won’t give him any chance to explain himself.

Then the Maximals also start accusing him of being a traitor, saying how they never should have trusted him, and that he's sold them out for weapons. He doesn't want to openly admit in front of Megatron that the deal had been intended as a scam, and tries to subtly tell them that they need to leave.

But Nightscream disregards everything, and tries to attack Megatron anyways. Rattrap has no time to think of what to do, so in his panic and confusion, he fires at Nightscream. This only escalates the situation, with the Maximals attacking him more, and him defending himself as well as trying to drive them away. Rattrap is also clearly reaching his mental breaking point. He starts accusing them back of never believing in him, that Nightscream advocated for cutting him loose, how they were now the ones ruining his plan. But despite how angry and hurt he is, after all of the things that had been said, he gives them a heartbroken look and pleads 'don't make me do this'. After all, he still does see them as his friends, or at least he really wants to believe that they are still friends. He desperately wants them to trust his word and walk away so he wouldn’t have to hurt them. 

They ignore his warning though, and Cheetor attacks him again, further proving their lack of trust and faith. Megatron uses this as an opportunity to continue pointing out how they hate and pity Rattrap, how they don't want him around anymore and how Optimus lied to him. He also repeats how, unlike Optimus, he himself has delivered the power that he had promised to Rattrap, manipulating him into trying to think that he can only trust and rely on Megatron now. And it almost works, until Optimus arrives and finally shows Rattrap real support and faith, shaming the others for their lack of belief in their friend. Unfortunately, none of them can be bothered to apologize for their treatment of Rattrap. [I’d like to hope that they apologized off screen, but it would have been nice to actually see it.]

The Weak Component is an episode about Rattrap going through severe self esteem issues, only to receive no support from his supposed friends, and then being pushed into a rapid downward spiral by the compounding stress and pain until he's forced into a corner and reaches his breaking point.

One can argue that he's out of character, sure. I can understand why some people might view it that way. But as I stated at the beginning, we don't see Rattrap go through any of these issues in Beast Wars. He doesn't go through a long period of feeling useless to the team, he doesn't lose faith in his friends, he never feels the need to make a deal with Megatron. The closest we get is the episode where he pretends to be a traitor and to become a Predacon, but he and Optimus were both in on it. They had to make it believable to the others to ensure it worked, and Rattrap knew Optimus had his back to explain things afterwards. He never had to actually hurt his friends for any reason. 

The argument I do most agree with is that Rattrap could have just killed Megatron the instant he got the mech suit. He could have solved things then, sure, but by that point Megatron was already actively manipulating him and guilt tripping him with the whole 'you can't kill me while I'm too weak to defend myself' thing. Sure, maybe Beast Wars Rattrap would have just shot him anyways, but there's still the manipulation to account for, and possibly the fear that the rest of Megatron's vehicons would have shown up and overwhelmed him while he was there alone. And of course Megatron also convinced him that calling his friends would be useless.

And even if he can be considered out of character in this episode, sometimes stress does that to people. I can personally attest that I'm usually a very calm, reasonable person, and I have a very long fuse. I don't get angered easily by things, and even if I do get angry, I can keep myself from snapping at people. But when I get stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed, I have less control over my temper, and might get upset or angry over seemingly small things because it was just the final straw. I think that's the case for most people; everyone has their mental limits. In Rattrap's case, he has a bunch of highly stressful and hurtful things happening to him, and he finally lashes out. Honestly with the temper he's been shown to have at times, I'm surprised it took so long for him to lash out verbally.

The same argument can be made aboutCheetor. That his treatment of Rattrap was out of character, especially after everything they had been through together. But Cheetor was also acting out of stress because of the situation as a whole and the additional pressure of leadership while Optimus was out of commission.

To conclude this whole thing, I'd just like to say that yes, I enjoy the episode and think there are valid reasons behind the choices Rattrap makes, and that it actually fits his character if you take everything he's going through into consideration. It’s very difficult for him to think clearly, or make the choices he would have made under normal circumstances. I also really enjoy episodes/arcs that force my favorite fictional guys into brand new situations that push them to their limits and even to their breaking point. I don't think his arc was resolved in the greatest fashion though, considering no one apologizes at the end of the episode, no one brings up the things that were said to each other. And, as far as I remember, Rattrap never shows any further struggles adjusting to his new body or role. Optimus just gives him a pep talk at the end of the episode and all his grievances, self esteem issues, etc. are all just solved I guess. There's things that definitely could be done better and I would have done differently personally, but I still like the episode for what it is.

[Also side note! I just also wanted to say that I love the visual direction of the episode with the intense red and black color scheme throughout the whole confrontation scene. You'll see more of my appreciation for it below. And also Scott McNeil's voice acting for the episode is so good! Rattrap is often treated as a comedic character, so I really appreciate the darker tone of Beast Machines. Rattrap gets some very serious and emotional line delivery, especially in this episode. When he said the lines "I ain't nobody’s charity case" and "I ain't afraid of nothing", I got goosebumps. It’s really emotional, and his anger and pain really hit you. Scott's performance really enhances the whole episode for me.]

So yeah, I've been wanting to break this whole thing down for a while because Rattrap has been consuming my brain for months, and I also think about The Weak Component a lot. So much so I started an animatic like 5 months or so ago about the episode [though completely contrary to my point that Rattrap never wanted to hurt or betray them, it's an au of what if he joined Megatron's side], so I'm hoping finally getting to talk about this more will be the motivation I need to finish it. Anyways, here's a couple frames I had on hand that are part of it, and I also posted a short video a while back showing a run animation for it. So yeah, enjoy these in the meantime until I can make myself finish the full video. ^-^

[the-knightmare]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks to @daddygrandpaandthebeaver for the tag.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

30

2. What’s your total word count?

44,659

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I write for mostly The Legend of Zelda and Bob's Burgers, but I have written for Escape Room and had thoughts about Six of Crows stuff. And that one Uncle Obi-Wan fic I did for flufftober last year.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

Too Late

Seeking Solace With You

A Life Interrupted

Stay in Bed

I Met You in a Closet

The first and third aren't surprising, they're both older works of mine. Too Late is an angsty coldfalsh fic I wrote back when I was into the the Flash/Legends of Tomorrow. A Life Interrupted is my unfinished Roudise soulmate au (perhaps the upcoming theme week will motivate me to finish).

I was actually really happy to see Seeking Solace With You to be the second most popular. It's one that I'm proud of, and put a bit more into emotion-wise.

I'm actually surprised Stay in Bed and I Met You in a Closet (both zelink) made it into the top five as I didn't think they were my best works.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I respond to some of them. I'm a bit shy/anxious and I tend to overthink what I say. I absolutely love every comment I get, and I read every one even if I'm slow to respond.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That would be Too Late, as it deals with the aftermath of The Flash's season three finale where Barry enters the speedforce (I had to refresh my memory of what happened it's been so long, haha).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Since I love happy endings, there's a few of them. I'll highlight two and cheat a little:

A Call to Ears: A roudise fic where Louise catches Rudy trying on her bunny ears.

And

Dancing with Freckles and Glasses: a Telink fic post Wind Waker where Link helps Tetra practice dancing before a ball.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Luckily no, even when I make typos and errors.

9. Do you write smut?

I do not. The most I do is hint and let readers make their own decisions.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No, not really.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

As far as I know, I have not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I cheat again, as I love both Roudise and zelink.

But I also love a lot of ships that I don't write, but read and enjoy canon material of.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

There are a few I have in early stages of writing in notebooks or scraps in a word doc, not much of note.

I suppose A Life Interrupted is one that I have no idea if I'll actually finish since I would have to think of a new way to end it. A good gist of what I may have originally meant as an ending can be read in Hidden in Plain Slide where I have some of my headcannon of Louise not liking things changing is on display, as well as the running away after a confession.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I had a comment on a fic that mentioned nonsexual intimacy and friendship underlying the characters attraction, and I would say that I always try to write relationships that feel balanced in their romantic elements.

I also think I've learned how to tell when something is working and when something is needed to make it work. Especially keeping character's true to their characterizations as best I can. So long as it sounds proper, I'm happy.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing multi-chapter fics. It haunts me that I haven't finished A Life Interrupted, and every so often I think of it.

I could stand to go over my writing for typos and mistakes more. If I think about it too much, I'm sure I could think of a million things.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I could only do French outside of English, but I wouldn't. While I'm technically bilingual, I'm fairly rusty and don't have confidence to write a whole story in French.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

It would either be Harry Potter or the City of Ember all the way back in my fanfic.org days.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

I'm going to cheat again and list some I haven't mentioned yet:

Morning Person (roudise)

Burger Approval (zekina, with the Bob and Zeke relationship as a focus)

Lies Carved in Stone (zelink)

This was an interesting one. For tags, if anyone wants to do it, then feel free.

[bonesandthebees]

ello bones hope youre doing good

just found even more cool songs thanks to you, how do you always have more???

also WE COULDVE HAD YOU DOING ASL??? aw man :( (/lh)

anyway, I just turned in my paper that ive been working on for the last few months (yay, finally, it ate like all of my free time and energy) and suddenly I have too much free time and not much too read or watch (I had saved so many fics I cant manage to read anymore)

any coming of age books (or fics) or movies recommendations? (I need me some honey and tangerines vibes yk? ive been listening to the playlist too much again. one day I think ill read that fic again, but today is not the day)

much love to go you all in the ask box, eli <3

I'm doing pretty good! went to a yoga class tonight and I'm seeing the tommyinnit live show tomorrow so it's shaping up to be a pretty great weekend!

I actually filmed a video to post here on language day and everything but I wanted to redo it so my face wasn't fully in frame but then I just didn't get around to it :( oh well next time

OOO congrats on turning in that paper!! that's a huge accomplishment, I hope you get a great grade on it. and yay for free time!

oh boy ok coming of age recs I can do this. I haven't read any coming of age books since I was a teenager though so keep in my my memory of these are all hazy

books:

the perks of being a wallflower by stephen chbosky - hallmarker of the coming of age genre, read this when I was 16 and cried, even if you've seen the movie I highly recommend the book

aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe by benjamin alire saenz - literally was one of my favorite books for so many years. I read it when I was 15 and became obsessed with it. I still look back on it so warmly it's just such a great book

it's kind of a funny story by ned vizzini - also read this one when I was like 16ish. I remembered enjoying it but not as much as the other two I've listed here. still very good though!

movies:

cha cha real smooth (2022) - actually one of my favorite coming of age films I've ever seen. it's a coming of age film about a guy in his early 20s instead of in his teens which is refreshing in its own. it hit particularly hard for me because I saw it when I was 22 and freshly graduated from college unsure what to do, the main character is 22 and freshly graduated from college unsure what to do. it's also a very unique setup and I really loved how they pulled it off

the edge of seventeen (2016) - this might be a controversial pick because the main character is actually pretty insufferable in this, but that's part of why I enjoyed it. the character is meant to be insufferable. she's a teenage girl dealing with the hell of being a teenage girl and she sucks! it's an intentional thing and it does it very well! I would say it still falls flat in some areas, but I'm mainly recommending it because it's so refreshing to have an mc genuinely be a shitty person

sing street (2016) - I count this as a coming of age movie but it's also kind of a music movie? it's incredibly fun no matter what. the songs are so catchy, the characters are all great, and the relationships are just all very well done

the kings of summer (2013) - genuinely why do I never hear anyone talk about this movie. I haven't seen it in so long but I remember it being incredibly funny with a great dose of summertime whimsy

hunt for the wilderpeople (2016) - tbh I never thought of this as a coming of age movie and it might be a bit different than most of the films on here but I was looking up lists of coming of age movies to try and remember which ones I've seen and I saw this one mentioned a few times. if you're a fan of taika waititi films, in my opinion this is his best one hands down. it's hilarious but also incredibly sweet and heartwarming at the same time

moonrise kingdom (2012) - very charming and storybook esque in the way all wes anderson films are, but with a really sweet story between two kids at its core. again, different from most of the ones on this list, but definitely an enjoyable one all the same

hope this list helps!

[tragicclownwrites]

im curious, when did you first get interested in squidbob?

Ooh, my first ask 🤗 and what a great question to start with!

It's honestly such a weird story lmao but the short version is that I didn't find SquidBob. SquidBob found me. 🧽🐙

As for the long version, answering/rambling below the cut!

I think it happened just under a year ago or so? It was definitely sometime in late 2022/early 2023. Before then, I wasn't even remotely in the fandom and was more or less part of the group who had seen SBSP but wasn't involved beyond that.

When we were younger, my sister and I played Battle for Bikini Bottom on the PS2. So when the "Rehydrated" version came out, she hit me up and was like "omg they made a remake! we have to play it!" and I was all "hell yeah! nostalgia ftw!" (def worth it - it's a good time and everyone looks so damn adorable 🥹).

If you've played that game and you're in the fandom, you're probably pretty familiar with this moment (clip actually starts at :12). 😉😂 HOWEVER, this wasn't even the moment that initially caught my attention. In fact, it was actually THIS one between Robot Plankton and Robot Spongebob (who is terrifying btw). My sister and I got to this part in the game and were just...👀👀. Like, why was Robot Plankton (who is essentially a clone of real Plankton) thinking of Robot Spongebob like that? Kinda gay if you ask me. Long story short, I shipped PlankBob (ironically) for a hot minute lmao.

I started looking online to see if anyone else was crack-shipping it up like I was and I think that's when I came across SquidBob in earnest. I had remembered seeing some rather interesting moments between them in the past, but strangely never thought anything of it until I started looking below the surface. A few YouTube clips later, my memory was beginning to refresh - and those clips weren't even close to exhaustive! I just couldn't believe how unsubtle these two were! Like, HOW COULD I BE SO BLIND!?

For shits and giggles, I then decided to check AO3 to see if there were any fics about them. One of the fics I came across was none other than NBYF - the very fic that inspired my first work in this fandom! After reading it like four times, I was HOOKED. I needed more. So, I ended up on Tumblr and have been here ever since. 🥰

For added backstory, I've been in and out of fandoms over the years, but never felt the need to be active in any of them. Whether it was fandom discourse, fleeting interest, etc., I didn't want to get involved in any of that and, oftentimes, the canon just didn't inspire me to create my own works.

Needless to say, I'm so thankful to have found this small corner of the internet. Everyone has been so cool thus far and it's been really fun to write fics for SquidBob. I've always been a bit of a sucker for the grump x sunshine ship dynamic, so this pair is just perfection. 🌧️❤️☀️✨ One of these days I'll do an entire post about why I ship them. Someday lol. And given how episodic the SBSP show is, that actually helps a ton for writing - it's great to be able to stay true to the canon while not committing to any solid timelines or anything like that. I mean, even the actual show has continuity issues, so no one can fault me if I decide to switch things up a bit. 😜 I tend to prefer canon divergence vs. AUs when it comes to fanfiction as well because I really enjoy the challenge of working with an existing world/characters and creating a unique story for it all.

So, that's my fandom origin story. Not the most cut-and-dry (and probably not what you were asking) lmao but that's essentially where it all started! I'd be interested in hearing when/how you got into SquidBob hell, if you haven't already posted about it. 😊

[petitelepus]

Dwarf mini x worgen druid partner

Minimus Ambus was on a quest to find his long-lost brother Dominus Ambus. His brother had gone missing during the Third war against the Scourge and Dwarfs being one of the races blessed with long age, he knew his brother might still be alive.

But this was Scourge they were talking about. Hideous undead monsters that followed the wicked Lich King's every order.

Minimus just wanted a conclusion. He wanted to know if his brother was dead so he could mourn or if he was alive so he could keep trying to find him.

He had followed the latest rumors about his brother to Stranglethorn Vale and into a pirate port city called Booty Bay. A place where members of both Alliance and Horde were welcome if they promised to behave and had some gold to pay their bill at the tavern.

The air was hot and humid as Minimus Ambus entered The Salty Sailor's Tavern. The place was decently filled with representatives of the Alliance and Horde, humans and orcs, and many other races.

A goblin was minding the bar and Minimus stepped forward, taking a seat.

"What can I get ya?" The green-skinned creature asked and Minimus frowned, "I'm looking for someone."

"Aren't we all?" The bartender chuckled as he spat into a pint to clean it with a rag. Minimus noted not to accept anything from that glass.

"Dominus Ambus. Have you heard of him?" He asked and the goblin shrugged, "Maybe I have, maybe I haven't."

Minimus frowned, but before he could do anything, the bartender grinned, "Maybe a couple of gold coins will refresh my memory?"

The dwarf was partly happy and not that his mustache and beard covered his frown and he was about to reach for the gold purse hanging on his hip when someone else spoke.

"C'mon Skindle, don't be an ass and tell the dwarf what he wants to know!"

Minimus looked to his right side and saw a woman half human and half wolf. A white wolf at that. A worgen. Based on their leather clothes adorned with feathers and symbols of moon, they were a Druid.

The goblin behind the counter frowned as he slammed the pint on the table.

"Mind your own business wolf girl!"

"Robbing a man looking for their brother isn't exactly okay in my books you snake!" She shouted and the goblin frowned as they looked between Minimus and the worgen before finally he gave up.

"Look, a lot of people pass through here! I can't possibly know everyone!"

Minimus scowled and was about to complain but an undead on the other side of the bar demanded to have their pint filled so the goblin took his chance to escape the conversation.

Minimus was far from pleased with the way the conversation had ended but he turned towards the worgen to thank them, "I thank you for your assistance."

"No worries handsome." The worgen smiled and patted the seat next to her, "Wanna sit and talk?"

Minimus nodded as he climbed into the high seat and the worgen pushed her pint to him, "Want some?"

"No thank you, I don't drink."

"Funny," The worgen grinned, "Me neither. It's coconut juice."

"Oh," Minimus blinked, "In that case."

He grabbed the pint and took a good swing and he was pleasantly surprised by the sweet taste of coconut that drenched his dry throat.

"Thank you," He thanked the worgen and she smiled, "I heard you were looking for someone called Dominus Ambus? Your brother?"

"Yes, do you know him?"

"Sadly, no, but I've heard tales of him and his Paladin abilities." The white worgen said with a smile, "It would be an honor to meet him someday."

"Then we both think the same way," Minimus said before taking another sip of the juice. The worgen chuckled as she played with her fingers and looked at him. "Do you have any idea where he might be?"

"Sadly, this place was my last straw to find information about him." The dwarf replied.

"You know, I heard a rumor that some Paladins stayed near Northrend who fought during war. Have you thought about going there?"

"I have, but I wanted to check if the rumors of him being here were real..."

Sensing that the atmosphere had gone from peppy to gloomy, the worgen frowned... Before smiling.

"You know, my uncle used to say that dwarfs are half of real men." You said with a smile and Minimus raised an eyebrow, "Really now?"

You grinned like a wolf with a rabbit in its teeth, "I say he was a fool."

"That's awful," Minimus said but as bad as your pickup line was, Minimus couldn't help but smile a little. You had tried to cheer him up and you had succeeded, "My name is Minimus Ambus, and you are?"

The worgen introduced herself and that is how Minimus Ambus met you.

[bookwyrminspiration]

Greetings! Disjointed thoughts again: 1) There's going to be keeper graphic novel? That's so cool! 2) Your "nonsie" nicknames are really cute, and remind me of the "anonymous animal" thing on google docs ;) 3) I haven't listened to many of those musicals, so I'll give them a listen (hopefully)! I like a bunch of musicals but my comfort musical is Be More Chill. Also, I'd love to hear about your movie thoughts! I hope you're enjoying your day! - Amethyst

OKAY! Skipping over all that to get right to the movie thing because I simply must speak of it. The movies I was referring to were RRR and Baahubali 1 and 2 (3 isn't out yet). Each one is like 3 hours long ish but they're SO good. Such delightful cinema. They're incredibly dramatic (at least by my standards, which are unfortunately american), and some parts are incredibly unrealistic but takes itself so seriously and it's so entertaining. Not in like, this is a shitty movie that embraces that like velocipastor, but like it's a really well funded and produced movie that knows sometimes realism is a detriment to enjoyment so it throws it out.

It's been a while since i watched Baahubali so I couldn't really tell you the plot (I know I had a lot of fun with it though), but I can tell you RRR is about Indian revolution against british colonies. That. is such an understatement. It's also about these two men who are best friends but also enemies (but don't know they're enemies) overcoming that difference to unite and fuck over england. I don't want to spoil anything but it's SO good and has so much more going on than I can cover. Absolutely worth the 3 hours. There's also a full dance scene in there. And it's also nominated for an oscar for the dance scene song :)

If you don't have 6 hours to watch the baahubali's (skimmed the plot to refresh my memory, I think it's about a sibling rivalry for a kingdom but one of the two didn't know they were an heir, but is also insanely powerful and Good and Things), please find 3 hours to watch RRR you will not regret it it's so so good. I have been to the cinema once in the past three years and it was for this movie and I'd do it again.

Alright back to the rest of this ask. 1) yeah!! very exciting! this doesn't really do anything for me personally because I. am not really into graphic novels or visual media (I can't really picture things in my head), but it does give me something else keeper to add to my collection! 2) thank you! it's kinda become second nature at this point as just a thing that I do, but every so often I remember "huh, I deliberately chose to come up and use that". I didn't want to use the typical "nonnie/nonny" i'd seen, so I switched it up a little and now it's just part of my blog. And also part of some other people's blogs I think, sometimes I see other people say it.

3) Oh i've listened to Be More Chill! I haven't in a while, I must admit, but I listened to the typical new age musicals--Be More Chill, Dear Evan Hanson, Hamilton, Heathers. Oh! Speaking of Heathers, my favorite song from that musical is "I Say No", which isn't even on the main track; it's an addition to the world tour or something along those lines. But when I learned that I was so excited, like woah! There's this bomb song that just isn't on the main track??? WHY isn't it everywhere it's so good!

and thank you, I'm having a pretty good day! played some games (only today learned about the charms in omori), embroidered (ish) a little bunny on my shorts, didn't have to do any homework, stimmed to some songs, etc. Might bake something (apple muffins), unknown yet. I hope you're doing well and having a good whatever time it is where you are!

[hijitae]

Thank you for answering my question on how everyone would react to hjitae Strangely ever since you made the gintama/trigun post on your blog and I started watching clips of the anime on YouTube i couldn’t stop imagining hijikata as wolfwood and otae as milly (they were together in the anime i think) and I thought i might share this idea with you

Thank you for asking! It was a fun question.

**Spoilers for those who haven't watched the original Trigun series.**

First, I'm glad my post inspired you to check out Trigun. That's great to hear!

Second, I totally didn't make the connection at all until you pointed it out. 😅 Thank you for sharing this idea! I'll put the rest of my thoughts under a cut just in case of spoilers.

I guess it's because I'm pretty neutral on Trigun ships, so I've never thought about it before. What I loved a lot besides the characters was the sci-fi/western aesthetic and how the fusion of genres worked so well. But the Wolfwood and Milly dynamic does seem similar to Hijikata and Otae, doesn't it? Wow, I've gotta think about this more. Milly is upbeat and cheerful, but also a scary sight with that stun-gun of hers. She nicely contrasted with Meryl and Wolfwood in that way, sharing similarities with Vash. And while Wolfwood and Hijikata's personalities are different (though it's been such a long time since I watched), they do give off a similar vibe.

Yes, in the original anime, Milly and Wolfwood were kind of implied to be romantically involved or at least attracted to one another? EDIT: Okay, now that I've refreshed my memory with some clips, there was a serious scene between them that definitely implied they spent the night together. But in the manga, there seems to be only friendship. I never finished the manga (not because I didn't like it, but I was into several series at a time, so I put it on-hold indefinitely), so I can't say for sure. It must've been an anime-only choice.

It's a shame that Trigun Stampede has replaced Milly with a new character because the show already has few women in it (though I still have hope they'll bring her back somehow).

Anyway, thank you for your message! I enjoyed reading it. Now I'm going to have to rewatch clips featuring them and think more on this.

Wouldn't it be nice if we had fanart of Hijikata and Otae in Wolfwood and Milly's outfits? I think that would be so cool.

[akehoshimystar]

Chapter 3

Riku: This Christmas market is held every year, but for some reason, I wasn't able to come before.

Since it���s over before I even realized it.

Ito: I get what you mean.

Riku: Do you go to Christmas markets a lot, young lady?

Ito: Not really... Many places require tickets, andI don’t really plan that far ahead.

So it's refreshing to stroll around like this.

Riku: That's good to hear.

I heard they're doing a Christmas concert too. Look, just in time. It’s very soon….

As he said that, Riku-san showed me the map on his phone.

My eyes were drawn to the text below the introduction to the Christmas concert.

Ito: Oh, but it looks like you need a separate ticket for this.

Riku: Yeah. It says it's already sold out. What a shame.

Ito: I'll have to check early for next year.

Riku: Does that mean you will come to the Christmas market with me again next year?

Ito: Well... If our schedules match, I'd love to.

Riku: Haha, thank you. I'll look forward to it. Let's find a place to eat for now.

Ito: Okay.

Ito: (Oh, this one.....)

Riku: This food truck is cute, isn’t it?

Ito: !

As if Riku-san had read my mind, I stopped in front of the food truck that caught my eye for a brief moment.

Ito: Yes. Their menu looks pretty delicious.

Riku: Yeah. They also have a Christmas limited edition menu, and this Set A looks pretty good too.

Ito: I'm having a hard time deciding...

Riku: Shall we dine here?

Ito: Absolutely.

(Maybe he noticed me looking? How attentive of him.)

Riku: Excuse me, I’d like to order this Christmas special….

Store attendant: We’re truly sorry. The Christmas limited edition menu is already sold out

Riku: Oh, really? Then I'll have this A dish.

Ito: Make it two.

Store attendant: Understood. Two A dishes, right?

After paying, we decided to wait at a nearby table while the food was being prepared.

Riku: I guess being spontaneous doesn’t work with this sort of thing.

Ito: Sometimes these things happen.

Riku: Haha. This is not the kind of coincidence I wanted.

I'm normally the type to make solid plans.

Especially on Christmas Eve. I’d definitely be so eager that I make reservations a month in advance.

Ito: (I can picture that.)

Riku: That's just how I am.

Ito: That's exactly how I thought you'd be.

Riku: Really? I'm glad you’ve been thinking about me.

.....Judging by the way you praised me, is it safe to assume that you’re not like that?

Ito: Yes.... I haven't really thought about doing anything special just because it's Christmas.

Riku: Unlike when you were a child, when you become an adult you don't really have any whimsy for Christmas, right? I understand that.

Ito: But Riku-san, you still value ​​Christmas, don't you?

Riku: If I had to say it, yeah.

Maybe it’s because I have so many memories. I imagine spending a happy day with my special someone. The time I spend planning was fun as well.

…...A long time ago, I even planned a surprise for Christmas…

Decorating and stuff are not my thing at all…..

Hey, it’s kind of embarrassing to say it out loud. Simply put, I've had a lot of Christmases like that.

Ito: What a wonderful memory.

Riku: It is.

Ito: (For Riku-san, Christmas is a precious time to be spent with loved ones.)

Riku: That being said, taking into account what I said earlier...... Today’s completely unplanned. Sorry about that.

Ito: No, it’s okay.

Riku: …....I'm jealous of Kyoya.

Not only did he manage to keep his schedule, but I'm sure he also perfected his plan for tonight.

Maybe I'll show him what I’ve got on another occasion. Will you look forward to it?

Ito: I’ll look forward to it then

But I wouldn't have come here by myself. Because I came here on a whim with you, I was able to have a great time at the Christmas market.

Riku: Haha, that's true. Well…..

???: Are you in the line?

Riku-san was about to say something when a voice came from nearby. I thought it was someone calling out to us, but the owner of the voice was looking at the boy standing in front of a food truck.

Boy: Ah, no.

Customer: Then, excuse me.

Boy: …….

Ito: (That child... is he lost? There doesn't seem to be anyone around who looks like his parents.)

(But he doesn't seem to be looking for anyone either...)

The boy sat on a nearby bench with a bored look on his face, dangling his legs aimlessly.

Ito: (Should I call out to him…?)

As I was wondering what to do, Riku-san stepped forward.

Chapter 4

[qvissvmi]

I reincarnated as a side character in my favourite novel to prevent the villain's death!

Chapter 2

"--- Renee, hey! Are you listening?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I want one cotton candy too, please!"

Cicilia handed over some copper coins in her right hand while she took two cotton candies in her other hand from the candy booth. We kept walking down the festive street.

"You've been quiet the whole way here. Are you alright, sweetie?"

"Mhm, just a bit shaken up. But now that I have cotton candy, I'm already in a better mood!"

I took a big bite and gulped it down in one go. Hanna picked a small piece and ate it bit by bit. Seeing us pleased, Cicilia sighed in relief and points at the other booths.

"Let's go look there too, shall we?"

In all honesty I was still processing that I was reborn in my favourite novel. I thought that the only abnormality were my memories from my past life. One day when I was still a toddler, I got terribly sick. I was bedridden and suffered from a high fever. Suddenly a vivid dream flashed before my eyes, or so I thought. But after I recovered, my mind started to clear up like a cloudless sky after the storm. My awareness of my surroundings improved tremendously, my thoughts became coherent and the dream felt more and more like memories. I've already accepted that magic exists in this universe because Cicilia has been teaching me. Before my memories returned that was my reality but I had my suspicions. Which is the real me? What if that dream wasn’t real after all? Now I know that I haven’t imagined it. Still, it’s ridiculous. And meeting the heroine is quite shocking for my little child brain.

"D-do you not feel well? Because of me, you had to go through the trouble…", Hanna said with a guilty look.

That’s no good. I can think about all that later. I made Hanna worry…

"It wasn't your fault! Who knows what that creep would have done to you if I didn't come? I don't regret it at all. It's just a pity that the guy disappeared before the guards could catch him." I took another huge bite and chew in frustration.

"They will find him soon. I'm sure of it!"

"Hopefully. Anyway, what about you? Do you feel alright?"

"Since Lady Cicilia invited me to go with you, I'm not scared anymore. But is it really okay for me to be here?"

"It is! I want to be with you, Hanna. Do you not?"

"No, I do! I haven't had that much fun in a long time…"

"Then let's try out lots of other fun stuff today!"

I took Hanna's hand and rushed off to the next attraction while Cicilia called out my name before she just let us run off in defeat. It's my duty as a fangirl to spoil her with every possible thing there is! As far as I know, her childhood consists of only lonely moments. Even after she gets adopted by family Wellmond, she wasn't able to call it her home. They only needed her as a replacement for the baron's daughter to marry her off for money and didn't spare a single sign of affection for her. It's going to be difficult to see her once she is part of the Wellmond family, but until then I want to be there for her as much as I can.

"There is even a carousel! Do you want to ride it with me?"

"Sure!"

We jump on the wood horses and circled a few rounds. Even though I felt a bit silly as an adult in spirit, I couldn't help but grin like a fool. When I looked over to Hanna, she was busy clinging to her horse while screaming and laughing  simultaneously. She couldn't open her eyes for the most of the ride, but her laughter exposed her genuine excitement. 

After the ride ended, Hanna couldn't stand straight and seemed to be dizzy for a while. I noticed that a thread of her dress got loose that probably was caught up on the wood horse.

"Looks like you two had a blast, haha! Shall we rest a little bit before we continue?"

"That would be nice…", Hanna giggled.

"The bench over there seems free. Let's sit there and I get us some water."

I lend my shoulder to Hanna and slowly let her slide off on the bench. While Cicilia looked for some refreshments, I glanced at Hanna's dress again.

"Your dress seems pretty worn out."

"Oh, I wear this dress almost every day. I don't have a lot of clothes at home so I try to repair it later."

"Hmm, I see."

I looked around for a clothes seller nearby. Hanna quickly caught on what I was thinking.

"Please don't feel the need to buy me something! You already gave me plenty of nice things today… I couldn't ask for more."

"But I still want to give you a present! To remember this day."

"You're too kind, Renee. Really, I'm okay."

This back and forth reminds me of mom arguing with her friends over who pays the bill. But I will not back down!

"That won't do. Wait here, I'll be right back." Before Hanna could say anything, I already rushed over to the booth across the street. After a short while I returned with a little bag.

"A scarf should be okay, right? Nothing expensive either. And as my friend, you don't need to be so humble! Please, take it."

"Renee… okay, I accept this. Thank you so much!"

It's strange; seeing Hanna happy makes me want to try harder in this life. Maybe that's why I remember my past life, to atone for all the wasted time and potential I willingly threw away. Now that I have the knowledge to change someone's life for the better, I should take it in my own hands. While Hanna plays on the stage, I will help her out behind the scenes. Thank you dear author, I truly loved your novel, but this time I will save my favourite characters! Even the villain!

[skeleton-keychain]

Hey! @parasitic--saint tagged me in this tag game thingy, and I thought it'd be fun! So, here we are.

For the tagging, I encourage anyone who wants to do this to feel free and do it!

Last Song Listened To: Ronin by Ibaraki. I've been obsessed with this song since I've put it on my playlist like a year ago. It's especially good to listen to while I work on drawings, because it's like 9 minutes long, and really energetic.

Currently watching: I'm rewatching Good Omens season 1, to refresh my memory, because season 2 comes out in 3 DAYS!! I've been waiting for this for literal years! So yeah, that. The ineffable husbands are back.

Currently Reading: I'm a super slow reader, but I've been reading Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon since the begining of the year. I really like it! But I'm super inconsistent at reading. Like I can never put aside time to read (not because I'm super busy, but because that's just how my brain works). And this book is super long, it's like 800 pages long. But it's a great read so far. It's a high fantasy, with great characters. And dragons! I just haven't been able to pick it up for a while. Maybe later tonight I will continue reading it again.

Current Obsession: okay. I have a couple. First, what has been in my mind for like 2 straight months by now, is cowboys. To be honest, I haven't been doing some crazy historical investigation on them or anything, but I have been thinking about them a lot. Looking at paintings and drawings depicting them and such. Mainly because I've been getting back into writing and drawing my cowboy characters (who I had abandoned for like 2 years until I suddently got hit with a wave of inspiration regarding them). So now I can't stop thinking about them, and the setting for their story, clothes that they would have worn, etc. It's fun, honestly. I should probably start watching more actual westerns, to get even more inspo. But I never know where to start (my struggle to have time to read extends to watching stuff). But yeah, these cowboys have been running around in my mind for some good 2 months.

And another more recent obsession that I can already feel taking over my brain, is vampires! (I'm really collecting these classic archetypes). I've been designing some vampire and vampire hunter charcters. Developing their dark fantasy, post apocaliptic world and setting. Thinking about their very gothic, very dramatic, and quite dark story. I take aspects from classic vampire legends and novels, and twist them a bit, without taking away from the typical vampire aspects. Depictions of vampires over the decades or centuries is something I've always been very interested in. Seeing how the perception of the myth changes depending on what societal fear is attached to these creatures at a certain time. How it passes from representing lots of different minorities over history, and how those minorities now take back vampire stories and make them their own. I can only really speak on it on a queer lense, but it is an interesting topic. And adding this type of background to how I think about these vampires can be quite personal and fulfilling. I'm algo very interested in the drama and gothic storytelling that comes with these horror stories, and the one I'm developing in particular. I've had lots of vampire characters over the years, and I'm really excited to work on these iteration of the creature.

Oh, and also I've been getting into minimal wave recently. It's very good!