#I haven’t liked my writing lately but alas dbsjsksks

[bxdbunni]

Knock knock?

Whose there ?

Mom ? Dad?

Are you really running to leave this place so soon? No can leave you alone here.

It’s a digital paradise.

He’s been running ever since his legs could carry him. He had never been happy, surrounded by white faces who told him this was his new home and his life. He was given everything, but something felt like it was missing. Always missing.

A part of himself he would never know, miles away from those who were like him.

They never had time for him. If he wanted toys, food, they didn’t hesitate but a hug? To be tucked into bed? Told bedtime stories? Mom was too busy and dad spent too many nights at the office.

Knock knock…

He hears those voices, they creep in the back of his mind like deathly long fingers scraping against the walls of his bedroom. He had long since become friends with the monsters under his bed. Years of neglect had made him a monster of his own.

Knock knock

Graduating didn’t feel like an achievement. His parents didn’t seem proud, it was expected of him to succeed. Night after night coming to an empty house. Knock knock? Who’s there? No one.

What was a life that felt empty? A home with lights barely on, with no laughter or voices to keep him from sinking into the worm hole of his mind. It was maddening.

Nothing can drown out the noise

No matter what you destroy

No matter who you become

No matter what you avoid

There was nothing for him in the face of reality. Those pesky emotions had become a sick and twisted game of a whack a mole. His hammer tight in his grip, ready to slam it down the second emotions he had buried deep even dared to rise to the surface. He’d slam that hammer down over and over again, desperate and angry to see it becoming harder and harder to hit. Harder to keep down.

By the end of it the only thing left of it is the handle torn from its head from how hard and fiercely he’d hit each one.

It was that knocking in his head. A door he didn’t want to open. A door he had been standing front of for years, knocks from the other side. He’d hesitated turning that knob, scared to see what was waiting on the other side. He was never looking for the exit.

Knock knock

KNOCK KNOCK

KNOCK KNOCK

Who cares.