#I have undiagnosed issues and it's killing me yet I dont have time to see a therapist

[amatsuchan-eiliniel]

Quick vent in tags, you're not forced to read.

Minors beware, that's not really important but be careful with other's vents and your own mental health.

[slightly-gay-pogohammer]

so i keep seeing homestuck mentioned. im gonna ask. what is homestuck??????? (like ik its a web series and was popular in uhhhh the 2010's but aside from the candy corn horns idk anything else. something about a hive swap? idk man help me out gio

Homestuck is a story of a kid and his friends and a game they play together :)

and oh man i can't believe i googled this pic in the year of the lord 2022 but. alas.

yes this is going under read more

OKAY FIRST OF ALL TECHNICALLY SPEAKING?

it's a webcomic except not really. the way it's written is heavily based on old text-based adventure games, with a few panels with art and everything else written underneath, either from the point of view of a narrator or with chatlogues/dialogues of the main characters the comic also has some animation (or "flashes"), some occasional minigames and RPG-like games and songs, some of which made by toby fox

and yes i'd argue that a lot of things in HS aged poorly or weren't well written from the very start but the songs are literally all bangers. like even if you don't follow homestuck i cant not recommend the songs a LOT of stuff was really a product of its time too. like there's a lot of lolrandom humor, occasional jokes that would likely not fly rn that while can be excused with "these are 13 years olds and also like all them is canonically dealing with internalized homophobia, undiagnosed mental health issues or both" some parts really aged like milk

the entire plot is divided in 7 acts, with sub-acts and intermissions between each one of them to "divide" the story in chapters. like the first one is all "outside" the game the, the second introduces more characters, act 5 is the best one, act 7 is only the final flash to conclude the entire story

...and yes okay the story is, again, about a kid and his friends and a game they play together. basically on the 13th of April 2009 best boy John becomes 13 years old and recieves a game to play with his pals. It's a game that literally alters reality and that, once an item in the game is activated, summons a meteor. just roll with it this is how this universe works. "oh the gang needs to save the world then?" nah lmao the world is literally doomed their goal is to reach worlds spawned from the game, become gods, defeat the final boss and create a new universe

of course however things dont go as planned :)

all of this is explained approximately 1% into the whole story by the way

other than this, the kids are also dealing with a bunch of trolls from another world (the candy corn zodiac dudes), a bunch of NPCs from the game, alternate timelines, the literal goddamn author and lots and lots of death. Like HS is kinda infamous for killing of characters left and right. It has it's own set of rules to keep most of them relevant, like introducing ghosts, "dream" selves, the alternate timelines (Dave especially is SUCH a fun time he gets time-related powers and he gets to see SO many version of him dying :) ) or the whole way death works once the characters become gods, in which they can die only if their death is "just" (so if they were fucked up and evil and their death was justified") or "heroic" (so if they sacrifice themselves to protect someone, basically)

and. yes again homestuck isn't a story to take lightly, reading it requires a LOT of critical thinking, but it honestly has some of the best written kid protagonists I've ever read? Like with some duds of course *cough*gamzee*cough*act6vriska*cough*calliope*cough*, but most of them are really well fleshed out, with lots of flaws and good qualities, funny as hell, and for most of them their traumas and problems are integral part of their character growth - and yes while you get kind of used to see them die over and over have some of them Actually Die is. genuinely shocking and hurts so much?

like again shoutout to Dave but also Karkat because they start off as the "cool kid" and "angry kid" tropes and yet they get so much growth, learning to understand their limits and rationalizing traumas from the past. like the very last scene we get with Dave before the final battle is one of the best written pieces of media I've ever read

..........................................you just need to kind of. First of all pull a death of the author since they're kind of a douchebag and also remember that this started in 2009, likely with no intentions of making it a story as big as it ended up being. I don't think I would recommend HS to someone who "wasn't there" not for gatekeeping but specifically because. It's a product of it's time, and I think that if you finish Act 1 (in which basically nothing important happens, if not putting down the bases of the general tone) and aren't into it you likely won't likei t even when it gets so much better since

yes it's a story with very serious topics that WILL take seriously it's characters, but it's also a story that not only would drop everything from a page to another because the author decided to commit character assassination for his fav but. also one of the plot points is that the main villain of the first half went on a murder spree because he didn't want to dress like a clown. one of the plot points is that insane clown posse and guy fieri became presidents. one of the plot points is that the author has a crush on dante basco and rufio from "hook" is mentioned so many goddamn times. a plot point has buckets being used for reproduction. this is a canon line.

so is this one

and also it's a shame that they didn't do anything else afterwards :) that there is no hiveswap even if the kickstarter literally broke a lot of records :) that there is no epilogue :) that there is no sequel :) friendsim can stay but it's on thin fucking ice

TL;DR: homestuck is the most webcomic ever and also the ending was fine you guys are just mean

[vividaway]

Maybe instead of focusing on Joey and Daniel calling Gabbie out (which is their right. If Gabbie can call out them for what she perceives as bad working conditions, than they have every right to refute her claims), you and the rest of the stans should address the latest information about Bianca that has been brought to light as well as the fact that Gabbie stalked someone online who happened to be underaged.

PLEASE CONSIDER SIGNING TO MAKE BIANCA'S LAW REAL. https://www.change.org/p/bianca-s-law-stop-the-spread-of-violent-and-graphic-images-on-the-internet

BEFORE ALL OF THIS LET ME SAY: your use of Bianca Devins in this disgusting manipulative way is exactly that-- disgusting and manipulative. my twitter messages are open, so to not only track down my tumblr, but ANONYMOUSLY LEAVE A MESSAGE TRYING TO USE BIANCA'S NAME LIKE THIS? DIS-FUCKING-GUSTING.

___

Alright, here's a concept.

It's not Joey and Daniels place to refute Gabbie's claims. Their main point in all of this was "She never filled out the form! It's all her fault!" which is actually irrelevant to the story, seeing as she had told them PERSONALLY. in a FACE TO FACE INTERACTION.

the fact of the matter is, as the showrunner, and literal creator of the show, it is your responsibility to ensure the safety of ALL of your cast and crew. and yes, this does include the mental well-being (of the rest of the cast)--

-- and on that note, i also need to say that them not communicating to Gabbie that she were to be killed off, to me, is just unprofessional. it would have made filming a lot better. like honestly, do you think Gabbie would have been as pissed if she knew she wasn't going to be there again?

and another thing-- if Gabbie acted SO horribly, why did they stay her friend? Collab on her channel? if Gabbie acted SO BADLY during SEASON TWO... why did they invite her back? and if Tana was an issue, why invite HER back? I'm very glad that tana had a better time during season 4, but the fact that they knew BOTH OF THEM were bad on set, yet invited them back? they're literally setting up every other person around them for a toxic work-place experience. I've said it once and it's my next point, too, its un. pro. fessional.

ignoring all of that. literally every single piece of information i've stated above. THERE ARE TWO SOLE REASONS I STAND WITH GABBIE.

1. Joey and Daniel, no matter how horrible Gabbie may have acted, had no right to play out Gabbie's voice memo's where she was expressing that she was EXTREMELY UPSET. that she was dealing with multiple things in her life. They had NO right. Trisha Paytas, of all people, has even heard that voice memo enough to MOCK, AND MAKE FUN OF GABBIE'S EATING DISORDER, PUBLICLY, MULTIPLE TIMES, REFERENCING THE VOICE MEMO. to have the people you WORKED FOR, DO THAT? how could anyone in their cast ever trust them again? who's to say you wont send them a genuinely confidential voice memo, and they STILL decide to share it with people?

2. BECAUSE GABBIE'S MENTAL HEALTH ISNT A CRUTCH, IT ISNT AN EXCUSE, AND IT SURE AS HELL ISNT A JOKE. Gabbie Hanna was on the brink of suicide, she was struggling with an eating disorder, had undiagnosed, unmedicated ADHD, was dealing with immense c-ptsd, and it is ALL. FUCKING. VALID.

for YEARS. I've been told to stop using my Bipolar as a crutch. that i was in therapy for it, and that i needed to use coping mechanisms. i was later diagnosed with BPD-- and suddenly i didn't need to cope anymore. my anger was suddenly understandable. people finally believed me.

you DO NOT. HAVE TO HAVE. A FUCKING GOD DAMN PERSONALITY DISORDER TO BE FUCKING BELIEVED.

ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING?

my BPD WASN'T THE ISSUE.

IT WAS MY ADHD.

its literally wired into our brains, and WE. CANNOT. CONTROL. IT. the ONLY THING WE CAN DO, IS TREAT IT.

to continue to NOT LISTEN TO PEOPLE WHEN THEY ARE CLEARLY EXPRESSING THEIR LIMITS is the reason mental health is in its infancy today. we know when something is too much, and we know when our conditions are causing us to have outbursts, because its something we dont do EVERY SINGLE DAY. we need to realize that ALL. MENTAL. ILLNESSES. EVERY SINGLE ONE.

IS JUST AS IMPORTANT. JUST AS DIFFICULT. AND JUST AS UNIQUE, AS ANY OTHER MENTAL ILLNESS.

with the amount of genetical defects, the amount of nationalities that exist, the amount of co-morbidities, EVERY. SINGLE. THING. THAT MAKES ME DIFFERENT FROM YOU? you GENUINELY expect there to be a person in the world with the EXACT SAME THOUGHT PROCESS, exact same conditions, exact same life circumstances, as me? as Gabbie? as YOU?

there is a reason people with mental illness have a common symptom, no matter the condition. that symptom is the thought that no one in the world can possibly have the same thought process as you. its the symptom that i essentially expressed a paragraph before this one. and its because we realize that THERE ISNT. that it isnt a symptom, but a fact, to us. because you cant thing the way i can. my brain will only ever process the way MY. BRAIN. PROCESSES.

that. is why i stand by Gabbie.

____________________________________________

So, the new information about Bianca Devins? Alright, lets talk about it.

Kim Devins, Bianca's mom, has called for all drama channels to apologize to Gabbie Hanna for the way they treated her in regards to her commenting on Bianca's shirts.

I know you want me to say that it turns out Gabbie is actually manipulating the mother, and Gabbie actually WAS exploiting Bianca---

NO.

KIM DEVINS IS A GROWN WOMAN. KIM DEVINS HAS SAID PUBLICLY, ON HER OWN, PUBLIC TWITTER ACCOUNT, THAT GABBIE HANNA DESERVES AN APOLOGY. KIM DEVINS HAS STATED THAT EVERYTHING GABBIE HAS SAID WAS IN FACT-- THE TRUTH. TO SAY GABBIE IS LYING, IS TO SAY THE MOTHER IS LYING, AS THE MOTHER HAS NOT ONLY APPROVED OF, BUT ENDORSED THE VIDEO.

i know i linked this before everything, but if you haven't already, PLEASE. FUCKING. SIGN.

https://www.change.org/p/bianca-s-law-stop-the-spread-of-violent-and-graphic-images-on-the-internet

_____________________________________________

Yeah uhh..so first off, Gabbie never doxxed ANYONE. as someone who's had their literal home IP leaked-- you shouldn't just throw that term around lightly. its genuinely traumatic for people to be doxxed.

Gabbie did however, grab the IP of someone. she did this, because she was worried it was someone SHE FULLY KNEW, was a danger to minors.

Second off, this was talked about quite awhile ago, in april or may-- she actually did that WELL OVER a year ago. we only know because she talked about it on Marco Polo (an app where you can group video chat and text. it was a perk of one of the tiers of her patreon) and it was leaked recently. so i don't really get your point in that.

Gabbie only did that because of all the minor fans that people were SCREAMING for Gabbie to protect last summer. They blamed Gabbie for certain fans that were getting bullies by anti's, all because Gabbie herself didn't tell people not to. so OF FUCKING COURSE she is going to do anything she can to protect her fans if she FULLY KNOWS a PROPER P*DO is trying to imitate a fan account, and she thinks she found it.

When the IP didn't match with where she knew the gross ass guy lived, she completely discarded it. Honestly, if you're upset with this, you might at well be upset with THIS, too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaJqBug10MQ

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ALL OF THIS TO SAY:

THIS IS A THOMAS SANDERS BLOG

PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT GABBIE HANNA.

[filthy-jasper]

Personal rant, feel free to ignore

I just.....I'm so fucking furious that I want to cry! As I'm sure most of you have gathered by now, I'm not exactly the most mentally rock solid of people. I have PTSD, chronic depression, anxiety issues through the roof, and what may be the beginnings of schizophrenia. Add that to what looks suspiciously like undiagnosed ADHD, and you've got a mess of a human being. That's not my problem though. My problem is that my school is making it almost impossible for me to get an education and have these illnesses at the same time. They frame themselves as helpful and progressive and oh so willing to help people like me, but they aren't, and you can tell that all their measures were made by neurotypicals who'd never been even remotely depressed a day in their lives. It's been incredibly hard for me to manage day to day living, but I've been managing, if only just barely, and the school has forcibly placed me back on medical leave because I was clearly heading into a depressive episode and they were concerned I'd kill myself. Oh, and did I mention that they helped exacerbate the problem by practically blackmailing me into a behaviour contract? Yeah. See, I have a scholarship to the school, and they threatened to take it from me if I didn't agree to a contract that required me to;

1) go to therapy(not unreasonable, except, you know, I'd already been doing that)

2) give full permission for the school to be able to access my therapeutic record and control decisions regarding said therapy (um, pretty sure that's illegal? And shady? But whatever)

3) take any medication given to me, regardless of my personal choice (aka, the took away my legal right to refuse any medication I am uncomfortable with)

4) immediately cease and desist self harm. Now, I dunno if y'all y'know anything about it, but immediately going cold turkey on a coping skill that I've been using for seven years is quite harmful to my mental well being. Additionally, they offered no extra support in the matter, in conjunction with the fact that I had no therapist at the time since they forced me to find a new one.

5) made sure to detail that if I ever self harmed again, or attempted suicide, my grants would be revoked effective immediatey and I would be expelled. Now, I'm no expert, but last I checked self harm was an addictive behaviour. Now imagine that this school found out I was a cocaine addict. They'd make sure I stopped, yes, but they'd send me to rehab and (speaking from past experiences of my fellow students) be understanding of the occasionally slip up. Yet I was offered nothing, and threatened with immediate expulsion if I so much as got a suspicious paper cut. (Also, I dont know how they don't think that if I were to suddenly kill myself just after this, or expulsion, or after they forcibly placed me on med leave, that they wouldn't be implicated for mistreating and mishandling a delicate mental health situation??? 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Yeah. There's more to it, but those are the main points, and it makes me absolutely furious when offer no help whatsoever in attempting to deal with these issues, some of which they gave me or heavily exacerbated, and I have to walk on fucking eggshells. I'm not even allowed to show symptoms of my illnesses without being punted back home in case I cause them trouble. I just......ugh.

[iamnotsilver]

Possible TMI but i need to rant.

So If you were born with a working vagina and uterus and all that junk that comes with being a cis female (or trans male or any other identity that just so happens to have a working vagina), you know the hell that is being on your period. I normally take birth control pills. But due to medical issues ive been having for YEARS that doctors STILL are failing to diagnose, they decided to have me try the Depo shot. Back in mid to late December, i got a shot in my left butt cheek that hurt like hell to put me into medically enduced menopause. HOT FLASHES SUCK THEY REALLY DO I STILL GET THEM AND ITS MAY THE SHOT ONLY LASTS 3 MONTHS okay enough about the pain that are hot flashes. Back to original rant topic. When you get off the shot, nobody told me what to expect. When will my period return? Will these hot flashes ever fucking stop their shit? Since this did nothing for my medical state to improve it and we have ruled Bowel Endometriosis out, is there anything i should look out for since ive been without the extra hormones my birth control pills normally give me to keep me from getting cysts? The answer, in my case, was annoying as hell but id like to share it so anyone else doing this for the first time doesnt feel scared and alone. It took me 2 months after the shot supposedly wore off to get my period back. Im not sexually active and i knew there was no way i could be pregnant, but it was still terrifying waiting and waiting and WAITING for what i knew would be a gruesome event of bleeding. My period started off way different from how it is normally. My first few days are normally light and gradually build into unbearable hell. I was spotting for 4 solid days. Just spotting. What the hell crotch? THEN IT WHAMMIED AND HOLY HELL PAIN. EXPECT LOTS AND LOTS OF PAIN the best way i can describe it is how periods were before i started birth control at all, when i felt so helpless and like the world was trying to kill me for being a 14 year old with exams and apparantly a fertile body. It genuinely feels like youre younger again and i cant say how it ends yet since my period hasnt finished yet. Mine are always 7 to 8 days long (which is on the longer end of the spectrum, i know) but im already at day 7 and about to hit 8 so im unsure how much longer this will be happening for me. Im lucky to have access to meds that make this easier, and my heating pad which is electric and i now believe it is the love of my life, and friends who are willing to listen to me rant about how much i hate having a vagina because of this stupid bleeding shit. Most of all, i learned its stupid to hide it all. Talk to people. Listen to their stories. They may have been through this stuff and have words of wisdom. I work for a CVS and was lucky to have a coworker tell me she had the shot once and it took her a month past the end for her period to come back. I knew at least somewhat ahead of time that itd likely come late. And as a 19 year old girl working in the pharmacy, its nice to be able to give advise to people who arent expecting it, like its best to put Suprep in the fridge and drink it chilled, which i made the terrible mistake of having it warm. People scared of their first colonoscopy dont want to talk about it but seeing a 19 year old girl be so open about it makes it a little easier to go in with your head held high. We shouldnt be afraid to talk about these taboo topics. Its one thing to spout medical lies and try to pass it off as truths. Its another to find a support center to help you get through whatever ails you, whether youre an undiagnosable like myself, or just someone aging who is afraid to get something routine done. I dont want to be afraid to talk about this. I want to talk about it openly and find people with advise for me before i have to go through everything alone. And if i do go through it alone, i want to help others so they dont have to go it alone like i did. Talk to people. Share your stories. It sucks going it alone and id rather talk about my period for anyone and everyone to read (which admittedly still makes me uncomfortable due to the stigma) than let someone else go it alone. If you can, please reblog with whatever stories you have. If youre uncomfortable as yourself, do it anonymously. Nobody minds. Lets just make it easier to talk about this stuff without being afraid. Hi, im a 19 year old girl with gastric problems that mimic crohns disease or UC but has been told multiple times it isnt that. I have almost constant nausea as well and constant abdominal pains. Ive been improperly diagnosed with allergies and given multiple rounds of antibiotics as well as been seen by an OB to see if that could be the cause. Ive had brain MRIs and CAT scans. The only thing that helps is moving constantly, which means being in college isnt an option for me at the moment, which is devastating for me. Work is the only thing keeping me going at the moment and ive latched onto the idea of helping others.