#I have to put the answers above the poll because there's not enough character spaces for me to put them in the poll itself

[izukus-shattered-elbow-bones]

Mha fans who read fanfic where the story is rewritten to where Izuku stays quirkless or has a different quirk entirely, when they get to the sports festival arc, do you prefer the author change it or keep it the same?

I prefer it if everything in the sports festival is kept mostly the same.

I prefer it if everything is kept the same but things are added during lunch or in between the 1v1 fights. (i.e. conversations that didn't happen in Canon, little extra interactions between characters, ect)

I need everything to be the same except Bakugo doesn't win.

I prefer it if everything is the same about the sports festival except the way Izuku fights in the 1v1 fights is changed because he is quirkless/has a different quirk but the outcomes remains the same.

I prefer it if everything is the same about the sports festival except the way Izuku fights in the 1v1 fights is changed because he is quirkless/has a different quirk and the outcomes change.

I prefer it if who fights who during the 1v1 fights is changed but everything else about the sports festival arc remains the same.

I prefer it if the teams for the team battle are changed as well as who fights who during the 1v1 fights. But everything else is the same.

I prefer it if the race is changed, the teams for the team battle are changed, and the 1v1 fights are changed. But everything else is the same.

I need at least one of the competitions to be changed to something else.

I need all of the competitions to be changed to something else.

I need literally everything about the sports festival to change. The competitions, the winners, the conversations between the people, all of it. I can't read the same sports festival arc again.

I don't really care/ I am supportive of the author's vision, whether they choose to change it or keep it the same.

[korissideblog]

ohhh i'm lowkey very proud of this one <333

sillie little characters: Hiroharu [@compoundhero ] Michiko [@residentquirksupport ] and Ikuto [@the-heartbeat-hero ] <3

i didn't finish all the sketches i wanted for this fic, but i also wanted to get it out today, so maybe i'll reblog it or edit it later with the drawings <3 there are like two that i finished on time, but ahugghieisdifs whatever. it's officially midnight and i have work tomorrow <3

(also, if heartbeat-hero is reading this, thxs for reading over it for me, and i changed the ending a tiny bit so you could have something new to read <3)

“And then he’s going to put the ring on you-”

“But the ring is poisoned.” “Yes, we’re not gonna let it touch you. We’ll be there before anything happens.”

“Alright and- you can go tighter than that Mich.” Aito said, looking over his shoulder to Michiko, who was busy tying Aito’s corset.

“Any tighter and you won’t be able to breathe. You’re gonna be wearing this for longer than you think.” Michiko warned, tying the knot as flatly as she could. “Plus the dress is already fitted, if your waist gets smaller the fabric would look baggy.” Aito fought the urge to roll his eyes and turned back to Hiroharu.

“You know Jeje, I thought you would have brought me a gift.” She said, crossing her arms. “New silverware or something.”

Hiroharu closed the file in his hands as he looked at Aito in confusion. “Why would we have done that?”

“Because!” Aito said, walking to the other side of the dressing room, passing Ikuto- who’s been nervously rearranging Aito’s bouquet for the last 20 minutes- and unzipping a huge dress bag. A short but fluffy white dress spilled from it, and Aito unhooked it from the hanger.

“I’m getting married!”

______________________________________________________________

Aito was kinda spacing out a bit.

In his defense! He’d already done the walking-down-the-aisle-over-pretty-rose-petals bit, and that’s all he was really looking forward to at his wedding.

He knew Haru and Michi and Iku would be here any moment to break up the arrangement, but he had to play it cool, smiling and giggling at her groom as he read his vows.

Haruto Suzuki, better known as the White Phantom, was Aito’s target. He was cunning and malicious and a hopeless romantic to anyone who could get ahold of his list of ebooks. Aito spent almost half a year in this role-Ichika Yokoyama, for the time being- and worked a bit harder than necessary to get close to Suzuki. She just liked her cases ending with a bang, and what was more exciting than a wedding?

______________________________________________________________

Hiroharu listened intently to the wiretap under Aito’s dress, trying to time the ambush while the support team rounded the back, ready to catch any of the villains in attendance. The support team was being led by Michiko over radio as Haru focused on Suzuki.

“-I promise to always remember that you are indeed human. That you may sometimes make questionable decisions, decisions I don't agree with, like when you got a red velvet wedding cake when I asked for vanilla”

The reception laughed and Haru could hear Aito smack Suzuki’s hand playfully. At least she was staying in character.

“But that’s just it, isn’t it? You’ve always been like that, headstrong and sure of yourself in ways I could never be. You’re always right in the end- red velvet is my favorite flavor, I was just worried about other people’s opinions.- and… and I think that’s why I love you, Ichika.”

“I don’t think I would poison someone if I loved them.” Ikuto huffed, trying his best to stay in his chair in case pacing would alert anyone to the ambush.

Hiroharu remembered the call well. The one where Aito told him that he found messages between Suzuki and another villain, messages describing how Suzuki knew that Aito was speaking to someone behind his back. Secret calls to Michiko and Ikuto about the mission turned into hidden calls from a lover in Suzuki’s eyes, and he was going to take his revenge. Hiroharu was ready to pull Aito out of the mission then and there but… Aito wanted to continue.

“He didn’t tell me that he knew.” she reasoned. “If the wedding goes as planned, there’ll be at least 3 villains in attendance, as well as a few people who might have information that we need! He’s not gonna kill me before the wedding, so let’s keep going!” Hiroharu hated this plan, but Aito was stubborn enough to get her way.

Hiruharu noticed a slight change in Suzuki’s voice, silently getting Michiko’s attention with a wave of his hand. The vows were about to end.

“And that’s what today is all about… it’s not about arguments over cakes or venues or honeymoons… it’s about getting past all those arguments and realizing that… that I would go through a thousand more if it means I get to wake up next to you tomorrow.”

And Aito laughs, tears threatening her makeup as she gives the signal that the ring is in his hand- it’s time to go.

______________________________________________________________

The small reception turned to face the doors of the building as the heroes crashed through it, but the entire room stood still as the scene settled.

There he was, Aito Takao, Ichika Yokoyama, the blushing bride… with a golden band on her finger.

Aito’s eyes drooped a bit, as if she couldn’t figure out what she was looking at. Her hands clutched weakly at Suzuki’s lapels as she tried to regain her balance, his breathing getting heavy as he tried to stand up straight. “H-Haru…?” she asked just above a whisper, nobody sure of which one she was talking to as her body leaned back and she fell to the floor, limp as a corpse.

… a corpse…

Hiroharu could… he could feel Michiko’s hand clutching his wrist, but it was like he was remembering it, not like it was happening currently. Like he was asked to describe what happened as he watched his friend collapse into a pile of lace and satin, white and cold like a dead dove. Asked to describe the feeling of loss as he felt Ikuto slump onto his shoulder, holding onto his sleeve as if he couldn’t stay upright, like his body told him to meet Aito on the floor. Asked to describe Aito, her breath shaky and pained, the last one leaving her chest like a deadly flower wilting.

Something wicked… but also delicate in it’s own way.

What Hiroharu couldn’t describe was the sound. He knew there was silence, the telltale ringing of the room as no one dared inhale, as if Aito’s death would proceed all of their own, but there was also something else.

There was laughter.

Laughter Hiroharu recognized well. Notes and melody that he could recall from his high school years, a finger pointed at him as his friend laughed at whatever trick she had just pulled.

And oh what a trick he had pulled.

Aito sat up lazily, looking up at her groom- the villain shocked and nearly shaking as he looked down at his corpse bride- laughter spilling from her lips like blood as he gazed at the man in black through her eyelashes, batting them playfully as he finally calmed down enough to speak.

“Oh, you think I’m stupid, right?” He asked, one hand sneaking under her skirt. “Thought you could just kill me- didn’t wanna talk out our issues, baby?” He spat, his teeth pearly white and dangerously sharp as she smiled. From under her garter she produced a short poll, which when swung extended into his iconic golden colored staff. Aito took the ring off his finger as he stood, holding it up to Suzuki like a prize.

“I switched the rings~”

______________________________________________________________

“I can’t believe you did that.” Ikuto sighed with exhaustion, the fight was finally over, looking over the party as Michiko and the support team made quick work of arresting everyone involved. “I was so scared- I thought you died.”

Aito shrugged and continued eating the small slice of red velvet cake he somehow managed to salvage after Haru threw a guy into it. “That happens sometimes. Who’s feeding Jiji while I’m away?” He asked, as Ikuto realized that Aito really didn’t know what he did wrong, and also realized that he didn’t have the energy to explain.

“One of your neighbors. She’s like 2 doors down-“

“You got Hasegawa to feed Jiji!?” And now it was Ikuto’s turn to roll his eyes at something he saw as minuscule. “I hate her! You know that!”

“You don’t have to like her for her to feed Jiji.” Ikuto responded, his dismissal similar to Aito’s. Aito responded with her usual dramatics, shoving his plate into Ikuto’s hands as he turned to the gift table, sorting through the things that could be evidence (all of it) and the things he wanted to keep (also all of it). He held up a little envelope, and read the words on the front aloud. “Suzuki, for you and your new wife- and two bodyguards.” He tore it open with curiosity and four tickets fell into his hand. “Oh they‘re for-“ Aito gasped quietly as he read the name on the ticket, immediately holding it out to Ikuto. Before Ikuto could actually read the tickets, Aito stepped away and jogged over to Michiko.

“Mich~” Aito sang, holding up the tickets, but failing to catch Michiko’s eyes as she watched through the open doors, Suzuki in handcuffs being escorted into a large black SUV. “guess what?”

“Do you… Aito?” Michiko started, as if she was unsure about whether she wanted the answer to her question or not. “He… I know he’s a villain and he’s done terrible things but…” she leaned her head so she could see the SUV drive away. “He thought… I mean… he really thought he was going to kill the love of his life today.” she held herself, as if just the thought of it brought a coldness that would make her shiver. “I mean could you even imagine-” and then… she looked at Aito. Aito, with his droopy yellow eyes, completely unfazed by what Michiko was describing.

She knew Aito could love. She knew that Aito loved his mama, and Ikuto like a brother, and she knew that Aito loved her and Haru like best friends but… given the blank stare… she wasn’t sure if Aito…

“You dated him for half a year- Aito, he even asked you to marry him.” Michiko said, trying her best to describe her ideas in a way that Aito could understand. “That whole entire time did you ever… you know…?” Aito seemed as though he was about to respond, but paused, as if he really wanted to think about his answer.

“He… he really had a thing for poker.” she started, watching as the last of the SUV slipped behind the horizon line. “He’d play with his friends and… if he won big he’d…” Aito raised her hands gently, as if holding something delicate. “He’d buy me a dozen roses… and he’d tell me I was on his mind. That I was his good luck charm.” he laughed, recalling how silly it all sounded. “And… for just a moment… I’d forget it was all a job.”

“Hope I’m not interrupting.” Both of the women jumped a bit as Haru came up from behind them, quickly turning to face him and forget their prior conversation. “Ikuto said Aito found something and she wanted to show us.”

“Ohh Boss!” Aito chirped, immediately snapping out of whatever mournful spell him and Michi were under. “You’d never guess!” she then held out the four tickets for them to examine. “Pack your bags! I know where we’re going next!!!”

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Fandom Thoughts

First thing I want to say is this post is just me speculating and expressing my thought on things. I’m sure many people will disagree with me or have a different interpretation and that’s ok. I could be totally way off base with everything I say but like I said this is just my interpretation of and my thoughts on things, also just want to say that I mean no disrespect to anyone or anyone’s fandom so yeah.  

So we all know that B*ghead is the largest fandom and the most popular ship. There’s no lying about that. I think it became so popular out of a combination of things, I think Cole’s popularity from his time on the Disney channel did bring across a lot of fans. I mean I could be totally wrong about this but I do feel like alot of the B*ghead fans were originally Cole fans. I’ll be honest, I didn’t watch Riverdale when it first aired, it was about 6 episodes in when my sister told me it was a good show about a murder mystery and that I’d never guess who was on it? Cody from suite life. I myself originally started watching the show because I was curious about the fact that Cole was on it and then stuck around because I got invested in the mystery and because from that very first episode I was hooked by Barchie and saw so much potential with them. I do think another contributing factor to the B*ghead ship’s popularity was the fact that the actors themselves became a couple and so people weren’t just invested in the ship but in the actors’ relationship too. I also do think that the fandom was very ‘loud’ on social media and there was alot of engagement. All of that combined with the fact that they did have some cute scenes together I think was the perfect storm to creating a popular ship.  

However V*rchie doesn’t actually seem that popular to me. In fact from what I can tell its a much smaller fandom and I would argue that after B*ghead the most popular ship out of the three is Barchie. Barchie has always won out in fan polls against v*rchie and I feel like I see more comments from the Barchie fandom than I do the V*rchie fandom. To me it has always been more of a B*ghead vs Barchie thing than a V*rchie vs Barchie thing. It always felt more like V*rchie got support because it kept Archie out of the way of B*ghead. In fact I see quite alot of support for Veggie and for Archosie and alot of people admit that they liked those parings over V*rchie. I myself loved Veggie together far more than V*rchie and I didn’t mind Archosie I thought they were cute, I didn’t like them as much as I did Veggie but I still thought they had some really nice moments together. I think after Betty, I liked Archie with Josie best. 

But here’s another thing to bear in mind. Whilst Riverdale and its ships are popular online and get alot of chatter on social media and has its fandoms which are very vocal on social media, there is also the general audience. These are the people who just watch the show every week, they don’t talk about it on social media, they don’t look up interviews and obsess over every little crumb of info the writers put out trying to figure out what might happen in the next episode. They are the silent part of the audience, I suppose you could call them. And I would say that this part of the audience far outnumbers the part that are involved in the fandom side of the show. Of course its very difficult to really know what this side of the audience really thinks of the show because they aren’t out on social media telling people what they think. The best way is to know what they think is to look at the ratings and the netflix streams. 

I mean I know that the ratings don’t really matter a whole lot when it comes to whether or not the network will renew a show and that streams mean more nowadays anyway. But in my opinion I do think the ratings can still give you an idea on how interested the audience is in the show. The way I see it is that if I am really excited by a show, I spend all week looking forward to the next episode and you can bet your ass that when that show’s next episode airs I am sitting down in front of that tv and watching it live if I can, because I don’t want to wait a second longer than I have to when I want to see it. With this season all the Barchies know that the most live viewed episodes of the season were 5x05 and 5x06, the two episodes that were promoted with Barchie. The lowest two episodes not just for this season but in the shows history were 5x08 and 5x09. These were the two episodes that had the V*rchie and B*ghead content. 

I also discovered this website flixpatrol that tracks the top tens on Netflix in various countries each day of the week. You can also look up specific shows to see where in the top ten they come each day of the week and I think I found something interesting. Now obviously because its week by week I could only really get information for episode 9.  

So what can this information tell us. Well episode 9 aired on the 24th and appeared on Netflix in alot of countries on the 25th. This chart shows where in the top 10 Riverdale fell this week, I’ve outlined those two dates in red. A dash indicates that it didn’t appear in the top ten that day. Now we can see that Riverdale most definitely does better on Netflix than it does in the live views and is consistently in the top ten in most countries. However, as I said, I did notice something. On the days it appears on Netflix we can see  that in most countries it doesn’t appear in the top ten and in the countries it does it is very low on the list coming in at mostly, 8,9 or 10. To me this suggests, like with the live ratings, that people just aren’t rushing to watch it. Some of this can be explained by the fact that it airs on a week night and it does fall high on the list on the Saturday after it airs on Netflix which could suggest that people are waiting until the weekend to watch it. But again, maybe its just me, but when I really want to watch a show, when I am really excited by a show, I will stay up late or I will get up early to watch it. I mean when 5x05 and 5x06 aired I was up early on the Thursday morning refreshing my Netflix page over and over waiting for the episode to become available because I was that excited to watch the episode.

*Edit: I’ve learnt that I have read this chart completely wrong as there is a one day lag, so the ratings on the 26th show that people were tuning in on the 25th which is the day it becomes available on Netflix in those countries. So ignore everything I just said in the paragraph above. I am going to keep the chart in for those who are interested in those numbers though. But yeah apologies for that.*   

To me this doesn’t really line up with the whole B*ghead is the most popular ship. I mean with B*ghead being the most popular ship then this last episode should be the most watched and I’ll admit I was a little surprised that it didn’t have more views. So why is that, we know B*ghead is popular so why aren’t we seeing it in the views. Well I think the answer is whilst they are popular, whilst it has a large fandom, its not popular or big enough to save the show by itself. And to be clear this is just my opinion which I’ve based on what I’ve seen people saying on social media and in YouTube reactions and reviews and from this data from the amount of people tuning into the show. But I think as much as many people like B*ghead, more people dislike/ are bored of V*rchie, are bored of the repetitive plotlines, are getting frustrated with the nonsensical plots. I think it has just gotten to the point where the things they don’t like about the show, or the things they’ve become bored with, far outweigh any appeal one ship might have. Basically I just get this overwhelming sense that people have lost any excitement they felt at this show. And this goes beyond any ships, whilst I do think alot of people tune in because of ships, there is more factoring into it than just that. I feel like all the excitement that came with the time jump and with seeing something new with Barchie and seeing something new with them being adults and dealing with adult themes, has worn off. It happened so fast too. I mean after episode 8 aired it was like a dementor had come along and sucked all the happiness out of the fandom. All of that energy that had existed before was just gone in the space of 45 mins. 

But here’s my question. I did notice a little bit of that energy come back when the promo for ep 10 was released and it showed that shot of Jabitha together. Again I do think that alot of people like this idea of Jabitha together or at least are intrigued by it. Although I know there are quite a few B*ghead fans who think the romance is unnecessary. But again I think this interest in Jabitha is because it is something new and therefore it is something interesting. I’ve also seen some Veggie fans creeping out of the woodwork over the last few weeks. So what I am wondering is if the show decided to go the route of Barchie, Veggie, Jabitha, Choni and Kangs would that generate enough buzz and would all those smaller fandoms together be enough to revive the show a bit. Especially if they couple those ships with some interesting new storylines to go with them as well as keeping the interactions between characters varied. I mean I am not expecting the views to suddenly jump up massively back to what they used to be in like season 2 but I do wonder if it would be enough to breathe life back into the fandom again.   

[mamba-posts]

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[themattress]

More bullshit from Mod A in regards to Xion.  Mod M is more reasonable (although I question if toxic male fandom does hate anything that reads like fanfiction at first glance...I think that if it reads like the kind of fanfiction they like, then they’ll eagerly accept it. I like to consider myself equal opportunity in this regard: if it reads like any kind of bad fanfic, then I dislike it.)

I’m with @riniuchihaa here. For me, Xion, far from being the best KH character, was the first glaring neon warning sign that the series was going off-course, that an original character was being created for the sake of it despite not being able to impact much of anything given her placement, and then was not ever let go of even though the excuse given as to why she was forgotten by KH2 should have rendered it impossible for her to appear in the series again.

“not a damsel in distress, action girl or sex object”

Is she not those things, though?  She has to be rescued or protected several times throughout the game. She wields a Keyblade and can even be better at it than Roxas if she’s absorbed enough of his strength. And there are a lot of creepy guys online that will argue that she is sexy, particularly with KH3′s model of her suggesting that she’s not wearing anything underneath that coat, which is open all the way to just above her chest. By KH3, she’s even taken Namine’s “plot device to make convoluted shit happen” status. If anything, people take issue with her being all of those things, and not even being them as well as other KH girls. She’s very derivative with little to add for herself.

“she’s a regular human being with a regular human emotional arc”

I would actually say that of Xion in the manga.

In the game, I think this is a case of projecting. Xion’s personality and arc are written as such a blank slate, with more people talking about Xion and what she’s going through than her and it being onscreen, that it’s easy to project on to. But when looked at objectively, there isn’t much humanity to it at all.

Ask yourself this: what is Xion like when she’s not around Roxas and Axel, doing missions and eating ice cream? What are her likes and dislikes, her own personal hobbies or aspirations? What are her feelings on matters completely unrelated to her friends?  For the life of me, I can’t come up with an answer. The closest I can get is with the text of her Secret Reports, where she honestly shows more character than she actually shows in the game itself (but then, that’s the same with Roxas and his Diary entries.) 

Before her identity crisis kicks in, all of Xion’s scenes are shared with Roxas and/or Axel, in the context of missions, ice cream, and being good friends with them, simply going along with whatever they’re doing and saying. Any feelings of inadequacy she feels during periods of time where she’s “malfunctioning” are skimmed over, and again is talked about more by other people than by her. Once her identity crisis happens, any scene she has apart from Axel and Roxas either still works them in somehow (they are consistently her biggest motivations in her own personal conflict, the only reason she’s conflicted about her existence is because of them since they give her a reason to exist) or just focuses on her freaking out about the fact that she’s a replica whose personality was formed based on the fragmented memories of another person that leaked into Xion through that person’s Nobody, which makes her less fit to exist than those who aren’t meant to exist. Yeah, totally a regular human emotional arc right there!  Can’t count the number of times in the history of the human species that people have had to go through that!

Kairi in KH and Namine in COM actually felt like human beings with emotional arcs in spite of their extraordinary circumstances. Xion feels more like KH2′s Kairi and Namine, where I get the basic trope behind their personalities and development, but can’t really pin them down as three-dimensional and realistic. That’s Xion - the writing for her is very trope-y, not human. The main points of how she was written were three-fold: as a plot device (a means of getting Roxas from point A to point B), as a wish-fulfillment character (she’s basically Tomoko Kanemaki’s self-insert), and as an exploration of a theme (the “What Measure is a Non-Human?” theme that Kanemaki is obsessed with). The humanity being inferred in regards to her being a trans girl case study was not at all intended to be there, and it can only happen because she was sketched thinly enough for it to be applied to her. 

“complains that she’s taking too much space or stealing the spotlight”

I’m sorry, but this is a valid complaint. When it was announced there was going to be a game about Organization XIII set between COM and KH2, everyone was wanting and expecting more development and focus on the members who had already been firmly established, most of whom were in desperate need of such development and focus. So to suddenly have Xion introduced and be the major focus of the game, whether she’s actually on-screen or not, would be very jarring and disappointing. 

What’s worse is all the games she pops in after Days, as not only does it destroy the established rules of canon in regards to her fate, but she ultimately steals the spotlight in an even more harmful way in KH3: Kairi, the original KH girl, who had been receiving build-up for YEARS as a Keyblade-wielding Guardian of Light, is literally screwed out of this role in favor of Xion, her Mary Sue copycat whom no-one asked for to begin with and whom many people weren’t keen on having return, as not only did it destroy the main thing she had going for her (her nature as a tragic character) but it robbed Kairi of development and focus that, again, she was in desperate need of. But Xion got over 30 more votes than Kairi in a Japanese popularity poll, so...priorities?

“Xion’s story is about the right to define her own existence, to live as her own true self, etc.”

No, that’s not what Xion’s story was about. It was about her learning that she had no right to her existence because it was actively hurting the existences of others, including her best friends’, and that the right thing to do is to disappear. I take some issue with how it played out (mainly that Xion accepts this way too easily and becomes a “Too Good For This Sinful Earth” type who does the right thing for the sake of her friends even when a more angry, selfish and conflicted Xion would’ve been more engaging and human, and that Riku is OOC in his treatment of her considering his treatment of Roxas), it was still incredibly tragic and it owned that. So for that tragic story to be undone in favor of a “lol, just kidding, Xion can exist and get a happy ending with her friends after all, no tragedy here!” way of appeasing the fans who called foul and raised a stink about it (especially in Japan) will never sit right with me, especially when the writing doesn’t even TRY to justify it. It just happens for the sake of it.

“It has a lot to do with the fact that Xion is a young girl whose story expects us to genuinely empathize with her”

OK, here’s a tip: it is rarely EVER a good idea to expect your audience to all feel a certain way toward something and try to force that reaction. “Death of the Author” is a thing, which is why you’re best not taking sides or playing favorites when making a story, you’re better off putting your personal feelings aside and just letting things play out, allowing people in the audience to make up their own mind. When the story pushes for the audience to genuinely empathize with Xion, with lines by others such as “poor Xion!”, then it’s not surprising that the opposite effect happens: some fans don’t like or empathize with her because they resent the hamfisted attempts at being told that they should. 

“That’s like saying Kairi didn’t matter in KH1 because Sora forgot her in COM”

That’s a false equivalence if I ever saw one. KH came out before COM, and Sora didn’t forget her so much as she was replaced by someone else, Namine, in his memory, which drove that story’s conflict. Its resolution was Sora learning the truth and remembering Kairi again. Kairi is still a factor in COM, a very important factor at that. Days came out after KH2, where there isn’t even a hint of Xion, she is not a factor in that game because she wasn’t invented yet. Sure, Xion matters to Days, but that mattering doesn’t feel like it amounts to much when she isn’t seen, heard from or mentioned for the entirety of the game it was leading up to.

“But so what?”

So, it feels incredibly unnatural to have a character jammed into a pre-existing timeframe and pre-existing dynamic prior to KH2, with mass amnesia being used as a plot device to explain away why she wasn’t present in any way in KH2, only for every game taking place after KH2 (and thus after Days was made) to suddenly start featuring Xion again, with the mass amnesia plot device being casually discarded. What’s worse is how canon rules were obliterated so that Xion could return in KH3 and reverse the tragedy element that made her story effective to begin with, at the expense of characters like Kairi who have been around longer than Xion and who desperately needed exposure more than Xion. Seriously, in addition to the point I already raised about Xion taking Kairi’s place, just think about this: characters that were created as a trio, Sora, Riku and Kairi, are no longer a trio, just the duo of Sora and Riku, while characters that were created as a duo, Roxas and Axel, are now a trio thanks to Xion. It feels like a slap in the face to all the fans who liked Kairi and the Destiny Trio, and it’s a big reason as to why Xion’s inclusion in the series feels like a mistake to those fans and thus why she’s such an off-putting character to them.

The only statements made here that I agree with is that Xion sadly wouldn’t have gotten as much hate if she was a badass, older male character, that her being forgotten due to memory magic isn’t really a mark against her since that’s a cheap plot device that happens to a lot of characters in the series, and that you can’t really do the story of 358/2 Days without her since she’s so integral to it...but on that note, the story of 358/2 Days didn’t need to happen. The KH series during its early days was meant to be Sora, Donald and Goofy’s story, so leaving the period of time where they were asleep a blank made perfect sense. We never needed to know about Roxas’ time in the Organization beyond what was said and shown in KH2, and to this day I honestly wish we hadn’t.  In game form, anyway. The manga is great, it can stay!

[cinenthusiast]

Previous Top Ten By Year lists: 1935, 1983, 1965, 1943, 1992, 1978, 1925, 1969 1930

Previous Top Ten By Year: 1949 Posts: Top Ten By Year: 1949 – Poll Results 100 Images from the Films of 1949 What I’ll Remember About the Films of 1949: A Love Letter #10. The Queen of Spades (UK/Dickinson) #9. Rendezvous in July (Becker)/Au royaume des cieux (Duvivier) (France) #8. Too Late for Tears (US / Haskin) #7. The Heiress (US / Wyler) #6. The Set-Up (US / Wise) #5. Caught (US / Ophüls)

For those unaware of my Top Ten By Year project: The majority of my viewing habits have been dictated by this project since September of 2013. Jumping to a different decade each time, I choose comparatively weaker years for me re: quantity of films seen/quantity of films loved. I use list-making as a way to see more films and revisit others in a structured and project-drive way. I was sick of spending too much time trying to decide what to watch, or watching films just to cross them off another dumb canon list. I wanted to engage. I wanted films to be enhanced by others, by looking at a specific moment in time. I wanted something that led me to seeing or revisiting things I might not have gotten to otherwise. Lastly, my lists are based on personal favorites, not any weird notion of an objective best.

This is the first year I’ll be doing separate posts for each film. #9 will go up Monday. After that, one will go up each day until the end. Then I’ll post them all together so they are gathered in one place. There are a lot of films I loved that did not make the cut. In particular, Flamingo Road, Such a Pretty Little Beach, On the Town, Inspirace, The Reckless Moment, Reign of Terror, The Rocking Horse Winner, and Samson and Delilah are all films I thought at one point would be on here. Of all of these, Flamingo Road was a sure thing until it wasn’t at the very last minute. Please go watch it.

#4. The Passionate Friends (UK / Lean) (first-time viewing)

Playing image association with David Lean’s The Passionate Friends conjures up an a jellyfish and its streamer arms, weightless in the ocean. Maybe it’s because I cast the image of Mary (Ann Todd) out on the balcony, billowing curtain in the foreground as she says goodbye to a different life once and for all, over the whole film. But there’s more to it than that. That wind and those floating curtains are just part of the visual language Lean uses to represent the life Mary doesn’t choose. There is the gentle ripple of the water, the outstretched tree branches that create particles of shadow, and the impossible majesty of the Swiss Alps. They are all part of the sensuality and openness of nature, the choice not made. The jellyfish is a clumsy descriptor, but maybe it’s fitting that I struggle to describe a film that seems to exist in the ethereal.

The Passionate Friends shows the ways time and memory play off each other in the psyche. Just as the properties of nature have the power to signal shifts in thought, atmosphere and objects can become tickets to elsewhere. The Set-Up uses time in the most confining of ways; the emotional lives of its characters are tethered to what is happening within those fateful seventy-three minutes. The Passionate Friends uses time as a structural and thematic bedrock; the subjectivity of its characters become inextricable from the past and the never-was.

The film confused some viewers when it was released (even for the flashback frenzy of the 40s, this was a lot to take in). We begin in Switzerland and travel back nine years, and then (for a brief time) another nine years. We then follow the same route back; nine years forward, and another nine to Switzerland for the final act. The structure recalls John Stahl’s The Locket, another 1940s film that uses to-and-fro flashbacks. The Locket gets more complicated by shifting perspectives as well as time. But The Passionate Friends not only forgoes most standard flashback cues, it even intercuts moments of imagined conversations and actions as characters traverse through humiliation and regret in the exact moments they are felt.

These forays into the internal both jolt and wash over the characters (and us), as inner lives and the autonomy of human emotion are wont to do. Lean always makes sure that the exterior communicates the interior. In an early scene, Mary sits in the carriage next to her husband, doused in darkness and boxed in by both the frame and the shroud of her veil. Barely visible, she is lost in reflections that hurt. Then we’re in the past, and we can feel the sensuality of nature everywhere. It is so bright; Mary and Steven are young and in love. Sunlight covers them, and branches shade them. Together they create a shimmering screen (seen above) that recalls the curtain of the first still (an image that comes much later in the film), and the veil that envelopes Mary in the carriage. In The Passionate Friends, images call back and signal to each other constantly. The veil is the curtain is the sun and shade. It is all of a piece.

All of a sudden there is a whistling screech as the carriage stops short. We are yanked back to the present the exact moment Mary is. There is no pomp and circumstance, no smooth transition. It is cruel, and we feel the loneliness of that carriage so much more. Compare this to how A Letter to Three Wives initiates flashbacks (also from 1949 with an advanced flashback structure); the autotune distortion of a repeated phrase hypnotizes us into and out of the past. There is the slow blur of the frame, a go-to sign that a flashback is coming our way. Lean doesn’t hand-hold. He wants to put you in the viscous of the emotional. The drift-in and shock-out of memory is faithful to Mary’s state of mind. We are with her — truly with her. The Passionate Friends is full of filmmaking that administers a psychic and emotional immediacy, a surprising early onset example of the discontinuous editing that would be en vogue in decades to come.

The Passionate Friends is a human drama rich enough for me to have seen drastically different takeaways on both its characters and its depiction of love and romance. The Passionate Friends is in that Daisy Kenyon class of “it’s complicated”, a sensual film about unsensual people. A film about repeating choices. There are no easy answers, just a lot of messy and contradictory feelings and desires. It’s not about the kinds of love we like to dream about, though it initially fools you into thinking it is. There is a different kind of love happening here, a sturdier love that sneaks up on both sides of the screen, borne out of epiphanies that have their own kind of beauty.

Mary knowingly gives up love for autonomy, money, and comfort with Howard Justin (Claude Rains). Their marriage is amicable, providing her with the kind of emotional freedom she needs and the finer things she wants. When we first meet her she’s on a plane to Switzerland. She sits in luxury, spoiled by “White bread. Butter. Cream!”. A big bowl of fruit even sneaks into the frame. She is, literally, in the clouds. One could argue this is the most openly passionate she appears in the entire film. This is the life she chose and the life she ultimately wants. There are no external forces preventing Steven and Mary from being together. Howard is not a tyrant. Freedom is always hers, including the choice to leave. She never does.

But every nine years she is destined to almost choose Steven (Trevor Howard), the pleasant professor of humble means. Mary’s trouble is the curse of knowing who you are, and knowing that the love you want isn’t the love for you (“I’ve always been a little hard”). Or thinking that you know that about yourself. Sometimes she seems to hold herself back, as if knowing this about herself has simply closed her off to what is possible. Mary and Steven can only exist in the “what if?”, but her self-assessment seems so absolute as to forbid any warmth in her life. For her, passion means first and foremost a loss of control and selfhood. She needs to belong to herself, an objective for a woman rarely understood today let alone then, and one that positions Mary as an outsider in the world.

How much is there really between Steven and Mary? As with so many romances, their feelings remain strong because they are left unprocessed. What could have been likely remains so much stronger than what would have been. Lean connects them metaphysically; dissolves erase the space between them as they think of each other in their respective solitude. Any time she is in the open air, the memory of Steven surrounds her (even if she doesn’t know it). Despite Lean’s lean (I’ll see myself out) into these romanticisms, The Passionate Friends is not a film about lost love. It’s more about mourning the type of person you long to be but aren’t (and can’t we all relate to that?!). Not being with Steven isn’t necessarily about not being with Steven; it’s about feeling passion and desire but not being able to live by that.

The juxtaposition between the life she chose and the life she didn’t can be seen at the New Year’s Eve ball (the scene always referenced in relation to Phantom Thread). On the ground floor she is seen catching up with her one-time soulmate. It is anarchy; they have to yell their pleasantries at each other, and there are Josef Von Sternberg amounts of balloons and streamers everywhere. In keeping with the spontaneous spirit of the event, they soon get split up. Soon after, we see her up in a box with Howard (Claude Rains is introduced looking like an old-school Count, beginning the film’s sly misdirect of his character). The prince and princess looking down on their subjects have such a different energy from the one below. Not cold, but congenial and removed. She looks down longingly, wanting to be part of the ruckus but knowing she wouldn’t know how. She defines herself as belonging to the lofty box that is lacking. It is not a longing that says “why didn’t I choose that?”. It is a longing that says “why can’t I be like them?”.

Steven may love Mary, but he doesn’t really know her. At one point Mary says to him “you don’t really know me at all”. At another point Howard says to him “you don’t know her”. Mary expresses this again later on, stating “we’re practically strangers to each other”. When he receives a letter from Mary in which she breaks off the relationship, he goes to Howard and accuses him of having made her write the letter. I mean, that’s how it always is in these love stories, isn’t it? The tyrant husband holds his wife prisoner or blackmails her into staying? Hell, that’s what Robert Ryan does to Barbara Bel Geddes in Caught! But there are no conventions of the Gothic or the Doomed Romance here. Just a woman making a choice — the same choice. It doesn’t mean she won’t think and dream of Steven on lonely nights. And it doesn’t mean she’ll never stop wondering about what could have been, and there will always be a sense of something lost.

But Howard does know her, and there are untapped waters between them. Claude Rains starts out as the cuckolded husband (we are teased with riffs on his Notorious character). Then, gradually, he emerges as the film’s true soul (Steven is never afforded much perspective while Howard increasingly is). Lean and Rains fully embody Howard’s intense humiliation and betrayal as he starts to reinterpret his own feelings towards Mary. As his pain turns to rage, hers turns to disorientation. He is driven to deliver two  shocking speeches in opposition to each other. She is driven to the brink by no longer belonging. It all crescendos in a spectacular whirlwind of emotional agony where absolute vulnerability and fate intervened reveal the power to reset. Steven is gone. This isn’t what we expected with who we expected. But like I said, The Passionate Friends belongs in that Daisy Kenyon category of “it’s complicated”.

Top Ten By Year: 1949 #4 – The Passionate Friends (UK / Lean) Previous Top Ten By Year lists: 1935, 1983, 1965, 1943, 1992, …

[innuendostudios]

Smash Favorite Polls

Over the summer I did a series of Twitter polls asking people who their favorite players of different characters were. Not the best, their favorites. This is a thing I did out of pure curiosity, because I sometimes think of what my answers would be and wonder how abnormal my preferences are. (Turns out they are, but not always where I expected.)

Some people have asked if I could do a post discussing the results, so here’s that.

Caveat: This is not hard science. These polls did not have significant sample sizes, and the self-selected population “Ian’s Twitter Followers” isn’t likely to represent the whole Smash community. (I have a statistically high number of SJW HBox fans, because that’s part of my brand.)

Criteria: I ran polls on half the tier list starting with Marth (#3) and ending with with Mario (#15). I didn’t bother with anyone below that because there aren’t many truly low-tier mains to choose between, and, well, I can’t say I’m that curious who the three favorite Roy players are. I skipped Fox and Falco because fuck space animals. I also threw in a few extra questions I was curious about, which we’ll get to.

Anyhoo, here are the results.

Marth

Winner: Mew2King Total Votes: 82 Correct Answer: PPMD Write-Ins: Ken Link to Poll: https://twitter.com/InnuendoStudios/status/870316744925208577

I was very surprised by the lack of love for PewPewU in this one. PPMD had been inactive for almost two years at the time of the poll and still wildly outperformed PewPewU. I can’t really blame folks, as I like PewPewU a lot but would still pick both PPMD and M2K before him. I wonder if PewPewU, being the perennial 9th place finisher, is also the perennial second-favorite Marth; he might do better in a runoff vote where he would get points for being a second favorite. As it stands, you only get points for being first, and he’s not many peoples’ fave.

Sheik

Winner: Plup Total Votes: 50 Correct Answer: Kirbykaze Write-Ins: Amsah Link to Poll: https://twitter.com/InnuendoStudios/status/870756094435622913

Plup took first, but another strong showing for M2K. I figured if we were asking for favorite players, not best players, that we’d see greater preference for flashiness, but M2K’s defensive, optimized play keeps performing well. Then again, it’s my theory that M2K is the beating heart of the Melee scene, so maybe personality trumps play style. (The write in for Amsah was from me; he’ll always be #1 in my heart but there wasn’t room for him in the poll.)

Jigglypuff

Winner: Hungrybox Total Votes: 95 Correct Answer: Hungrybox Write-Ins: Zasa, Tekk, s0ft Link to Poll: https://twitter.com/InnuendoStudios/status/871189445038546945

HBox took first place, and “I’m a jerk who hates Puff” took second, with Prince Abu and 4% tying for third with only 9% each. If you like Puff at all, there’s no reason you wouldn’t like HBox the most, and I’m frankly surprised “Hates Puff” didn’t win by a landslide. My followers are good like that. Notably, one of the highest voter turnouts of the whole endeavor, which will become a theme.

Peach

Winner: Armada Total Votes: 59 Correct Answer: Armada Write-Ins: Freeze Link to Poll: https://twitter.com/InnuendoStudios/status/872079889326886914

In my heart of hearts, the correct answer is Milktea, but far more for admiring the person than for her play style. (There aren’t many surviving videos of Milktea in her prime, so I’m not even familiar with her style.) Of the people who actually made the poll, there wasn’t really a contest. (I think the write-in “Freeze” is a “freeze peach” joke. Right? I’m right, aren’t I?)

Ice Climbers

Winner: Wobbles Total Votes: 105 Correct Answer: Wobbles Write-Ins: Drunksloth Link to Poll: https://twitter.com/InnuendoStudios/status/872870056581111809

Between this and the Jigglypuff poll, I notice that the characters who are “ruining Smash“ tend to get the highest voter turnout, and the players most associated with that character won both polls. Fly Amanita’s rep for being the “only cool IC” didn’t rescue him from fourth place, getting outranked by noted pariah Nintendude, who nearly tied with fan favorite ChuDat. Not sure if my followers are just weirdos or if the idea that Chu is beloved and ICs are otherwise despised is somewhat distorted.

Captain Falcon

Winner: S2J Total Votes: 61 Correct Answer: Jeapie Write-Ins: Isai, Hax, Scar Link to Poll: https://twitter.com/InnuendoStudios/status/872870056581111809

One of the tighter races, S2J only barely edging out Wizzrobe. (So, again, a solid performance from a player who’s supposedly making the game not fun.) Jeapie getting only 6% is a goddamn travesty. Thought n0ne would do better here, he’s supposed to be the fan favorite. Anyway, West Coast wins out over 20GX, but not by much.

Mid-Tier Mains (Pikachu vs. Yoshi)

Winner: aMSa Total Votes: 69 (nice) Correct Answer: Axe Write-Ins: Leffen’s MewTwo Link to Poll: https://twitter.com/InnuendoStudios/status/873306882550763521

There aren’t enough noteworthy Pikachu or Yoshi mains to make either poll worth doing, so I just pitted aMSa and Axe against each other. I’m punching my chad for Axe, but I feel like death about it. This is a poll where the only correct move is not to play. For write-ins, people tried to vote Abate and A Rookie, but I’m disqualifying them because they appear in the Luigi and Mario polls later on. Should technically disqualify Leffen as well, but there wasn’t room for him in the Pocket Low-Tier poll downthread so I'm letting him hang out here.

Samus

Winner: Plup Total Votes: 55 Correct Answer: ESAM Write-Ins: none (not n0ne, just... no write-ins) Link to Poll: https://twitter.com/InnuendoStudios/status/873674261701033984

Plup wins again! First person to win two polls. Duck and Hugs dead-even at 2nd with 27% each. ESAM comes in last because people have no souls. Some debate in the comments about whether or not Samus is fun to watch. (Someone says she isn’t, but they are wrong.)

Luigi

Winner: Abate Total Votes: 39 Correct Answer: Eddy Mexico Write-Ins: Ka-master, Luigikid Link to Poll: https://twitter.com/InnuendoStudios/status/874040581311352833

Only put two players on this poll, since I knew one or the other would win. Maybe I’m just being contrarian by stumping for Eddy Mexico over Abate, as both are excellent players and I root for either one easily. Abate only one by a small margin, anyway, so seems people are about as split as I am. Starting to see a drop-off in voter turnout as we get lower in the tier list.

Ganon

Winner: Bizarro Flame Total Votes: 38 Correct Answer: Bizarro Flame Write-Ins: n0ne, Lythero Link to Poll: https://twitter.com/InnuendoStudios/status/874672698194046978

This, at least, makes sense to me. Bizz won in a landslide. I mean, that’s how I would vote as well, though I wish Kage had made a stronger showing in second. Eikelmann manages the only 0% of all the polls. Someone in the comments argued that n0ne’s Ganon secondary is arguably the best Ganon, period, calling him “a more toned down version of everything bizz wants to do.” I don’t really disagree, though it seemed like cheating throw secondaries in against mains. That said, Kage still consistently beats n0ne in Ganon dittos, so n0ne having the best play style is still theoretical.

Mario

Winner: Scorpion Master Total Votes: 60 Correct Answer: A Rookie Write-Ins: none (again, not n0ne, even though his Mario is very good) Link to Poll: https://twitter.com/InnuendoStudios/status/875146202827849728

The only appearance of Mango in this entire endeavor and he beats out A Rookie. I expected better of you people.

Pocket Low-Tiers

Winner: Plup Total Votes: 57 Correct Answer: Axe Write-Ins: Westballz, Leffen Link to Poll: https://twitter.com/InnuendoStudios/status/875834490404392960

OK, I’m sorry, but this is nonsense. Plup decided to main Luigi at CEO Dreamland in April (probably as a joke) and took 5th place, above PewPewU, Axe, Duck, The Moon, n0ne, and MacD. The highest ranking actual Luigi main was in 25th. And that’s impressive, I’m not denying that. But did anyone even know he had a Luigi before that? And already you like his Luigi more than Axe’s Young Link, Hungrybox’s Ness, and n0ne’s Ganon? Are you serious with this shit? I wanna re-run this poll when Plup’s Luigi isn’t The New Hotness and see how he stacks up, because this is silly. I mean, have you seen Axe’s Young Link??? Have you seen HBox’s Ness??? People wrote in Westballz’ Donkey Kong and even that makes more sense. Anyway, hooray, Plup wins three polls and is clearly the hands-down fan favorite who isn’t Mango. You’re all on notice.

Main You Miss The Most

Winner: Hax Total Votes: 63 Correct Answer: Hax Write-Ins: Plup’s Samus (disqualified) Link to Poll: https://twitter.com/InnuendoStudios/status/876440529021566976

Hax’s Captain Falcon is the right answer here, though the few random times he’s brought out the Falcon in tournament have not gone well for him. I think, at this point, people just wanna see Hax play anyone. Mango’s Jigglypuff outperformed Shroomed’s Dr. Mario, which... again... what is wrong with people?

[adulting-with-autism]

Hi there friends! Welcome to episode 4! Transcript under cut

Nick: Welcome to another stirring installment of Adulting With Autism

Liz: I’m here this time

Nick: Yes there is another human with me. Things are back to normal. It’s nice. We only have one question this week so I’m going to assume that everything is fine and dandy for most people, everybody’s having a swell time

Liz: Or our advice was so good nobody needs to answer any more questions

Nick: I think we’ve solved life, we’ve solved being an adult which is great but it means the follow-up is going to be a tough one. It’s like, you know, Orson Wells made Citizen Kane but then Magnificent Ambersens. People don’t talk about that as much

Liz: Never heard of it. Is it bad?

Nick: It’s alright actually, but it’s no Citizen Kane. Unlike Citizen Kane.

Liz: You can say that about all films, like the Rugrats movie. It’s no Citizen Kane

Nick: That’s because it’s better than Citizen Kane

Liz: I first watched Citizen Kane at the age of 12, at that point I did prefer the Rugrats Movie

Nick: What’s important to note is the much broader palette of colours the rugrats movie uses

Liz: More variety in outfit design as well. You wouldn’t see a Citizen Kane character in a nappy

Nick: You would most likely not, except at the very end of his life just before he uh…

Liz: No spoilers

Nick: Yeah. Just in case anybody out there

Liz: In case anybody does’nt know what happens at the end of life, we’ll just leave that until you watch the film

Nick: Keep things a mystery, you know? we seem to have been temporarily rebranded into a film podcast by accident, which is great. That’s what everybody’s here for.

Liz: Yeah if there’s one thing the world needs is more film podcasts

Nick: There’s just not enough of them. We have a question…

Liz: We do, we have exactly one question and it’s from anonymous

Nick: I like them, they’ve given us a lot of material over the past weeks

Liz: I prefer their early work

Nick: Me too

Liz: Well, The Legion would like to know how to keep up with household chores if you get tired or executive dysfunction

Nick: That is a good question

Liz: There’s multiple options, Option 1 you don’t. Option 2 you have housemates and they don’t mind you not doing much

Nick: Option 3 is, you’ve got to make compromises with yourself. At least say ok I’m not going to be able to get on top of everything today. But today’s dishes, tomorrow’s vacuuming or something like that. Just take it bit by bit and you might sometimes be behind it’ll at least be behind in the sense of oh this place could do with a bit of a clean rather than this place is a dump

Liz: One thing I find is quite useful for me is sometimes you might get a sudden burst of energy that’s directionless even if youre’ completely exhausted. What I do is set a 10-15 min timer on my phone and keep going until it stops. That’s enough time to do a load of washing up, tidy up a small section of a room, put some laundry in.

Nick: That seems to be something that works for you. I find I’m not a morning person but I find I start off with more energy when I do wake up

Liz: Yeah you’re like an iPhone. You charge overnight, you’re full of energy and you do something and very quickly lose all your energy

Nick: My energy levels are very very strange things. I find that I don't know if this is just me personally but I find it’s important to say “I’ll take it easy today” but I find saying that I always do the opposite

Liz: Yeah, and that’s by no means an autism thing, my mum does that. She’ s the worst person at being ill. She will have the flu and say I won’t do anything and will go and hoover the living room, do some gardening, do 3, 4 loads of washing up.

Nick: I don’t tend to tire myself out in that way I don’t tire myself out doing useful stuff. 

Liz: [sneeze] sorry about that loud noise

Nick: It’s always like “ok I’m not going to write anything I don’t need to do that, I’ve done plenty lately. Oh no I’ve done 10 pages I messed up”

Liz: 10 pages? Last time you did that you wrote an entire sitcom pilot

Nick: Well, potato, po-tah-toe, p-ilot

Liz: P-ilot?

Nick: Yeah. P-ilot. Thank you for that question anon, and if anybody has any questions please do send them in because we are bereft.

Liz: We’re not even at 7 mins

Nick: Not even at 7 mins.

Liz: One thing that might be good to talk about today is surviving summer with sensory issues

Nick: Ooh that’s good because we’re dying, we’re absoluitely dying today

Liz: It’s the mid-high 20s with 70-80% humidity, which is what I like to call the death zone

Nick: I don't know where our listeners are from

Liz: According to the youtube stats we have France, Germany, the US and Canada but not the UK oddly enough

Nick: That’s interesting

Liz: Youtube says no-one from the UK has listened to our podcast. It may be incorrect but that’s interesting.

Nick: Okay, I need to explain at this point everything in this country is built to maintain heat. It’s like the country is wrapped in blankets all the time, so when it gets above 15 everyone just starts dying

Liz: Thing is when you live in cold and windy land the majority of the year your houses and buildings are desgined to keep heat in and you don’t have air conditioning except very modern buildings so when it does get hot there’s no escape

Nick: And we live in quite a traditional terraced house so we are toasty

Liz: But not in a fun cheesy way, though we can be fun and cheesy

Nick: [groans]

Liz: You are not allowed to complain about puns NickBlake

Nick: Ok

Liz: You are the one person whos not allowed you know this, for you are the font of puns

Nick: I am. Fun Times New Roman.

Liz: I have no words

Nick: I have plenty that’s everyone’s problem with me.

Liz: So yes, surviving heat. 

Nick: We’ve been opening all the windows and back door and that. We’ve stockpiled a reasonable amount of icepops to keep us cold

Liz: If you have the freezer space I highly recommend going on amazon and buying 150 Mr Freeze icepops, so you know you're getting the good stuff, for 16 pounds. I don't know what that converts to in whatever currency but it’s not a lot of money

Nick: For what you get it’s pretty good

Liz: It’s pretty much wholesale

Nick: We got wholesale price iced pops, so that’s good

Liz: It does take up an entire freezer drawer but you could always not freeze all of them at once

Nick: It’s kinda great. We’ve been taking as many pajama days as possible

Liz: You’ve been having pajama days because your pajamas are not wearing clothes. I’ve just been wearing tiny skimpy outfits

Nick: Yes, light clothing as much as possible, open the windows, get 150 ice pops

Liz: Eat ice and be sexy is how to survive the summer

Nick: That’s exactly how you survive the summer

Liz: Cold foods as well. Thing is there have been studies that show things like apple juice and milk hydrate you after exercise better than water does, so logically things like that would also hydrate you better when it’s hot right?

Nick: So what you're saying is you should be a good milky boy

Liz: Or girl or non-binary person. Yeah. Or a juicy boy if you prefer. But also we had pea and mint soup yesterday. Which is apparently not a thing in the US? I have been told this

Nick: I’m very confused because I distinctly remember in my early childhood watching Rescuers Down Under and pea soup was explicitly referenced in one fo the opening scenes.

Liz: Maybe they never thought to combine peas and mint or maybe this person’s never heard of it and they’re the anti-soup Georg

Nick: Thing is it’s we’re talking about Americans thinking to put seasoning in the dish so… 

Liz: To be fair though a lot of Americans are good at seasoning, it’s WASPs who are bad at seasoning. Though my friend is a WASP, they live in Upstate New York.

Nick: Ah. Maybe I think there are a lot of people in America who are good at seasoning but they’re all in the south. They’ve clumped, like chili powder when you’ve had it too long.

Liz: Not that they would understand that reference, the WASPs. I say that I am technically a WASP but it’s different

Nick: Yup, a whole nother thing. Well, we’ve dispensed some nice advice

Liz: Soupy advice

Nick: Nice soupy advice.

Liz: If you want to make pea and mint soup by the way really easy for 1 person you want 250g frozen peas you cook them in stock you add however much mint you want and you blend it. That’s it.

Nick: You can add an onion

Liz: Some people also add a potato but we didn’t

Nick: Too much potato can make it a bit starchy I think

Liz: And don’t worry if it ends up looking like green paint, it still tastes good

Nick: You're on the right track if it looks like it’s not edible

Liz: A lot of soups and stews look like that. I’ll say it a lot of my Mums cooking looks like vomit it’s delicious.

Nick: A lot of old English food doesn’t look pretty, it’s not designed to be appetising. It’s brown liquid with things in it. It’s good and keeps you going.

Liz: It coats your bones as they say

Nick: Yes it coats your bones which sounds so gross

Liz: You don’t want that you want pea and mint soup

Nick: You want bleached bones

Liz: You don’t that’s just a thing that happens in the sun

Nick: Don’t die, don’t have your bones be bleached. That’s my survival tip. Don’t die

Liz: Good survival tip, I like it

Nick: I might write a book one day. 

Liz: On how to not be dead

Nick: You just put your lips together, then put some food between them. Followed by liquids

Liz: It’s probably easier if you open your lips a little bit

Nick: And I think a combination of meats and various legumes and don’t have poison.

Liz: I think we should possibly end there because we’re degenerating into just mindless rambling

Nick: I maintain my survival tips are solid

Liz: Maybe you should start your own podcast where you just talk for half an hour, see what happens

Nick: I’ll have a straw poll on that. See what listeners would want. Speaking of rambling and voices and talking and natural segues, we had an offer from one of our listeners to come on our show and chat. Nothing came of it but I think that might be an interesting angle to pursue, talking to people about how they adult with autism.

Liz: Maybe have them help answer questions. Could be fun

Nick: I think what I’m doing here is setting the floor. If you feel self conscious about what you’re saying, remember I suggested meat and legumes and not dying as survival tips. You can’t get worse than that. So yeah, if you’ve got questions let us now, if you might want to guest on the show also let us know.

Liz: If you want to contact us personally, at invisible-goats

Nick: And Nightwarbler

Liz: That’s all one word

Nick: Yup.

Liz: We’re not doing too badly for length

Nick: We’re not. Slightly shorter than usual but we have a hefty big proud boy, big nice…

Liz: Are you hoping if you keep talking like that they’ll let you on Maximum Fun?

Nick: Now you’ve rumbled me, that was my secret plan

Liz: Just call me Rumblestiltskin

Nick: Niiice. If you have any kind of oddly specific products for me to endorse for money like I’ll definitely do that. Send me some underwear or mattresses and I’ll just record all the podcasts on my nice new mattress in my nice custom underwear.

Liz: Custom underwear?

Nick: You’ll have to go one better than the others, you know

Liz: I wouldn’t turn down custom underwear it’s hard to buy bras

Nick: Send us your custom underwear and I will heartily endorse it. Just…yeah. Bespoke…coverings, that’s what I want…or...

Liz: A mattress is not a covering

Nick: It’s a covering for a floor

Liz: Only because we don’t own a bed

Nick: Send us your questions and offers to be on the show. Don’t send us underwear come to think of it that doesn’t sound like an ok thing

Liz: And we’ll be back in a couple of weeks, hopefully with more questions and less about underwear and poison

Nick: Yeah, don’t send us underwear don’t eat poison

Liz: And don’t kiss your dad square on the lips?

Nick: Yeah that’s weird. That’s a bad thing to do. Yeah, see you next time.

[iwroteahing-blog]

Freedom Rises (working title)

So, as some people may know, theres quite a big election going on tomorrow over here in the UK and for those who don’t know me, I am quite passionate when it comes to politics, I think anyone who writes, performs or creates any sort of art has to be. Art is about engaging the world around us and like it or not, that is what politics are. I am not going to go massively into my political believes, not hear at least but it has made me want to share something another bit of writing (Sorry its so long after my first piece, I really knew what I wanted to release and it took ages to dig it out and type it up) The below extract is the start of Chapter 1 of a novel I am/was writing. It has been a passion project I have worked on and off of for the past 6/7 years, writing small pieces here and there. It is planned out as a very political piece, seeking to explore the consequences of both conservative and liberal viewpoints and follows a nameless main character who sees those they love persecuted by one side but also suffer fighting for the other. It is based 8 years in the future (but considering I started this 6 years ago, maybe that will need to be pushed back) with a new election coming up. It takes our world to the extremes of what it is now and asks, how do we fix that? (I hope). For the first time I am also going to add some visual aids to help with the story, I write in a very visual way and I really want to help share that with you, I do not claim ownership over any of the images and will post the sources at the bottom, I would also recommend listening to this while you read https://youtu.be/Y5ktlVlcVvc its just what happened to be on when I typed this up and the hopelessness of it fit. So enjoy: “Cause and effect, for every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction, so, when we… Are you guys writing this down? This is basic stuff…” It is not hard to tell from the vacant expressions they aren’t, 50 faces in the cramped stone room and not a single one looking my way. Most focused on the plain panel door out of the classroom, the rest stared vacantly at the space beneath their desk, like I couldn't tell they where checking their messages. I try a light tap on the desk to wake them up, but its not very effective. Each and every one of them are already planning ahead for the night, looking for the fastest route home. I can’t blame them, today is the 12th of July 2025, voting for the next election is tonight, there is no way they are going to be taking in what I am saying, so I give in. A wave of my hand signals that they can leave “I want that PDF finished by Monday, your answers have to be in my inbox before start of class so we can look at them as a class!” I doubt a single one hears the homework assignment I call out,  they are piling out go my classroom faster than ever, they don’t want to risk being late home tonight. We all know that the police will be putting more security on the voting booths, which means less on the streets. Muggers and and dealers will have free roam, democracy giving way to chaos. The twisted irony of it all would make me laugh if it wasn’t so damn tragic. Its not like you can blame the authorities, if they didn't guard the booths, some meninist cult would show up to intimidate the voters. 


I swipe my hand across the screen at the front of the class and the lesson plan disappears, everything I do is on the school’s cloud anyway, thank god for autosave. It doesn’t take long to collect the Bunsen Burners from the desks and switch the “windows” from a beautiful meadow, back to the cold brick that matches the rest of the classroom, but still I realise that I have started to rush my clean up. Like my kids, I don’t want to be out on the streets late tonight.

Stepping out onto the streets of the city always makes me thankful for my tiny, bricked classroom and the income that comes with it, despite how pathetic they both are. What were once proud streets, brimming with opportunity are now just cramped and wet. Tall towers stretch up for what seems like an eternity, piercing the rain clouds above. The buildings are all made from the same dull brick, with windows few and far between, after all who can afford to maintain such a luxury this far down? The uniformity of the walls makes it easy to spot the camera though, large yellow boxes, placed 2 stories up. Some times you would see one cracked or defaced, but rarely, after all the cameras were one of the few things looked after in this part of town. The worst part though, were the crowds. Where there weren’t people walking stood someone with their hands held out for change, poor souls whose only crime was being born in a time where there were more people than jobs. Every day there feels like there are more people out here, although I never seem to see the same face twice. I try to dispense what few coins I have into a few of the hands that I pass in the crowded street, but I never have enough and the constant push of people carries me down the water logged streets too fast. The woman who teaches the year below me blames anyone she can, the government, the rich or anyone with the tiniest bit of power. I’m just content with thanking god its not me.

I push through the crowds, looking for the taxi rank. As with most evenings, I choose the one a bit further from the school, hoping that I can avoid the long queues that will be inevitable tonight. The crowd has thinned, thankfully, so I am able to make good time on my walk and within a few minutes, I am at the small taxi rank. The rank is in a small alcove a the side of the street, with a metal roof providing shelter from the pouring rain. The shelter is long enough that 4 cars could park alongside it, although it is empty at the moment. Inside the shelter are small screens, each playing a repeating loop of adverts for a new film staring a range of generic, topless men and women doing something on a beach. People are huddled in groups, almost forming an informal cue but no one is talking to each other. As I reach the shelter, An argument breaks out at the front of the cue over who was there first, one man, a short rat faced man, makes some comment about the other’s mother and I watch as they get physical with each other. The second man, who must be twice the height of ratty has the advantage of stature and bulk, slamming meaty hands down at the others face. It is short, messy and leaves red stains across the pavement, and by the end it is clear that the the rat faced man will be waiting for the second taxi. My mother used to tell me that people would look out for each other in this city, but tonight, no one cares if they see another man beaten to a pulp, they just want to get home.

I take a spot under the shelter, beside an elderly couple who had huddled together under the gentleman coat, it looks like they only have the one between them. The rain seems to have slowed now and it has become easier to hear the sound of the city, that strange mix of shouting, sirens and a mishmash of different songs being played somewhere in the distance, Genevi always calls it the sounds of humanity, usually I just call it noise. She is probably back home by now, her gallery is much closer to the flat than the school, I just hope she's remembered pick up food, everywhere will be closed by the time I get back, its not like there is a polling booth in our neighbourhood, too unsafe they were told. Suddenly, something catches my hearing. The screens in the taxi rank are no longer showing the loop of adverts, now the screens have switched to the final party debate, aiming to swing any voters heading to the polls and to make us all feel “included” in the process. Usually they just bore me to death, no matter how hard the news reader tries to build it up. This time is different though because the guy on screen is a rockstar. 
 Sebastian Shaw, a name that must have been invented by committee, is the leader of a brand new political party. the Great British Freedom Party, or GBFP for short. Traditionally a small party like the GBFP would be completely forgettable, but Sebastian Shaw was determined to sell voters a dream. They promised to be tough on crime and bullish on a global scale, claimed they wanted to build the empire back up. Their opposition always argues with facts and figures but it always felt a little bit weak coming from the mouths of stuffy politicians. Shaw was young, attractive and charismatic, you wanted to believe him when he talked and people wanted to listen. Shaw the unemployed that he would magic up jobs from nowhere, he told the poor about the riches he could give them, how could people argue with that? Even if it would all fall apart in the end, it made for good television. The others along the taxi rank had stopped what they were doing and were all looking at the screens, everyone wanted to hear what Shaw was going to say, even Ratty with good running down his face. Pic1:http://www.genealogyintime.com/GenealogyResources/Wallpaper/Brick-Wall-Images/brick-wall-images-page01.html Pic2:http://bestanimations.com Pic3: Tumblr, can't find the source, if you see this and its yours let me know and i’ll credit you!