#I have to admit I do not know why in the world the erins thought it'd be a smart idea to name two cats nearly the same name

[daily-whistlepaw]

daily whistlebreeze until fae becomes PoV day 1411

Whistlebreeze talking to Whisperbreeze requested by @pinestripe37

[woso-dreamzzz]

Chook's Halloween

Kewis x Child!Reader

Summary: The thirteenth of my Halloween-centric fics

"Looking good, Sam!" Erin whistles," Indiana Jones!"

Sam rolls her eyes. "Don't say that with Chook around. She won't be very happy."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because I'm not Indiana Jones."

"Yes, you are. You're all-" Erin makes a vague gesture "-Sexy."

Sam laughs. "Well don't let Kristie hear you say that."

"If you're not Indiana Jones then who are you?"

"Owen Grady."

"Who?"

"Owen Grady."

"Who's that? Your neighbour?"

"No," Sam replies, rolling her eyes," The guy from Jurassic World."

Clarity dawns in Erin's eyes. "Oh, so this is a Chook costume."

"Yeah," Sam admits," It's a Chook costume. She was very excited. Kristie's meant to be Claire, Helen's Maisie."

"And Chook's a dinosaur?"

Sam sighs. "And Chook's a dinosaur."

The door to the gym swings open again and someone shrieks.

You trot in, arms lifted up like a dinosaur.

"Well," Erin says," That's certainly-"

"Blue!" You say, pulling up your velociraptor mask to reveal your face," I'm Blue, Erin! From Jurassic World! Rawr!"

Your excitement is palpable as you run around the gym in my dinosaur costume.

"Should I know who Blue is?" Erin asks as she watches you sneak up behind Millie to scare her.

"It's the velociraptor from Jurassic World," Sam explains," The one that doesn't die."

"They die?"

"Yeah but don't bring it up to Chook. It makes her cry."

Halloween is always hit or miss for you.

You either enjoy it so much you're bursting from happiness or you're too scared to even watch some Halloween movies with your mothers and spend your time curled up with Helen and your toys.

Sam doesn't want this ruined for you even if it's just an accidental comment on Erin's part.

"Mom!" You call and Sam turns to give you some attention.

"Yes, Chook?"

"Mom, look! I'm a dinosaur! Rawr!"

"Wow," Sam says in mock shock," You really scared me there, Chook."

"Don't worry, Mom," You say, patting her side," I'm not actually a real dinosaur. It's just a mask. See." You pull your mask up so Sam can see your face. "It's still me."

Sam looks down at you with a fond smile, lightly ruffling your hair and tugging at the tail at the back of your costume. "Well I'm glad it's still you Chook. I'd hate to have to explain to Mommy that we've got a little dinosaur now and not a little girl."

"Don't worry," You tell her," I'm not old enough for be a full dinosaur yet. Maybe next year though."

Sam laughs, sliding your mask back over your face. "Maybe next year."

Training is lots of fun with everyone so impressed by your dinosaur costume and the staff even give you lots of sweeties even though you didn't Trick-or-Treat them.

"Mommy!" You call as Sam unlocks the apartment door," Mommy, we're back!"

Kristie pops her head around the wall. "Oh, wow, Chook, looking good."

"Silly, Mommy," You rebuke her, giggling as she flutters kisses over your face," You saw me this morning."

"And I can't think you're still looking good? Maybe you're the silly one Chook."

"You're not dressed yet," You look at Kristie through narrowed eyes," You have to dress up, Mommy. It's a family costume. It can't just be me, Mom and Helen."

Kristie laughs. "There's plenty of time. We've still got to eat dinner before we go trick or treating."

You huff, blowing out all of your air noisily. "But that's ages away!"

Kristie ruffles your hair, taking your mask from you to put on the side. "Well little dinosaurs like you can't go out trick or treating without being fully fed. You might eat everyone!"

"Silly, Mommy. I'm not big enough to eat people yet."

"I don't look the way she said 'yet'," Sam snickers to Kristie before addressing you," Well, you won't get big enough to do that if you don't eat. Mommy's cooked us some dino nuggies."

You narrow your eyes in thought, darting them between Sam and Kristie.

"Triceratops nuggies?"

"Uh-huh."

You nod. "Good because they're herbivores. Carnivores like me eat herbivores!"

[fanfictionismyaddiction]

Falling Into Place

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10

Word count: 1.1

Pairning: Aaron Hotchner x Agent!reader

Summary: In the aftermath of Aaron's hurtful departure, the atmosphere in Rossi's kitchen is filled with shock and sadness as the team rallies around you and Ava

______________________________________________________________

As the echoes of Aaron's departure lingered in the air, the atmosphere in Rossi's kitchen was heavy with a mix of shock and sadness. You held Ava tightly, her small frame shaking against you as she cried, and it felt like time had frozen.

“Y/n,” Rossi said gently, kneeling beside you. “You’re not alone in this. We’re all here for you.”

Prentiss stepped forward, her expression serious. “Aaron was completely out of line. What he said… that was uncalled for. You didn’t deserve that, especially not in front of the kids.”

Morgan crossed his arms, his brow furrowed with concern. “Hotch was wrong, Y/n. You didn’t hide anything maliciously. It was just family.”

Reid, who had been quiet until now, added thoughtfully, “He’s been under a lot of stress lately. But that’s no excuse for what he did.”

“His reaction was irrational,” Prentiss said, shaking her head. “He should have trusted you enough to know that your family doesn’t define who you are.”

You took a shaky breath, your heart still aching. “I thought we were building something together,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “But now… I don’t even know if he wants me in his life.”

Rossi placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. “He cares about you, Y/n. He just… struggles with personal connections. And sometimes he reacts without thinking.”

As the team rallied around you, Erin stepped forward, her expression softening. “Y/n, can I talk to you privately for a moment?”

You nodded, grateful for her presence. Leading her to a quieter corner of the kitchen, you wiped your eyes, still feeling Ava’s small hand clutching yours.

“I’m sorry about the way Aaron spoke to you,” Erin began, her tone serious. “He’s a good man, but he can be incredibly stubborn. His upbringing made him wary of trusting people, especially when it comes to family matters.”

“I get that,” you said, still trying to process everything. “But why does he have to take it out on me? I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Erin nodded, her expression sympathetic. “You’re right. You didn’t. But you have to understand, he’s been through a lot. His mother’s death, the pressures of being a leader… it all weighs heavily on him. When he feels threatened or betrayed, he lashes out.”

“But I didn’t betray him,” you insisted. “I kept my personal life separate, just like he does.”

“Exactly,” Erin said, her voice softening. “But he saw your relationship with me as a conflict of interest. To him, it felt like you were part of a world he didn’t want to navigate. He didn’t know how to deal with it.”

You frowned, trying to make sense of it all. “So, what do I do? How do I fix this?”

“Communication is key,” Erin advised gently. “But first, you need to understand why he reacts the way he does. His need for control clashes with his feelings for you, and that frightens him. The next time you talk, remind him that family doesn’t change how you work together.”

You nodded, absorbing her words. “I just hope he can see that I’m still the same person.”

“He will,” Erin said, giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “But you have to be patient with him. This won’t be easy.”

You turned back to see Ava still sniffling, her eyes wide and searching for comfort. You knelt down beside her, brushing her hair back. “Sweetheart, it’s okay. We’ll figure this out.”

Rossi, watching from a distance, smiled gently as he saw the bond between you and Erin strengthen. He knew how much you cared for Ava and how deeply this situation affected you.

After a moment, Erin said, “Why don’t I help you prepare the rest of dinner? It might lift your spirits.”

With a small smile, you nodded. “I’d like that.”

As you both returned to the kitchen, the rest of the team gradually began to regroup, sharing stories and laughter to ease the tension. Rossi grabbed a bottle of wine, pouring everyone glasses while Morgan and Prentiss entertained Ava with silly stories, their laughter ringing through the house.

Yet, amidst the laughter, you felt the emptiness of Aaron’s absence. You hoped he would come to his senses, but uncertainty loomed like a dark cloud.

Later that evening, after the food was prepared and everyone had settled around the table, the atmosphere was still light, though the shadow of Aaron’s anger lingered.

Rossi raised his glass, calling for attention. “To family, friends, and the strength we have in one another,” he toasted, his eyes darting toward you and Ava.

“Cheers!” the team chorused, and you felt a little warmth returning to your heart as you clinked glasses with them.

As the night wore on, Ava found herself in the center of attention, regaling everyone with her cooking “adventures” alongside Rossi. The laughter was genuine, and for a moment, you felt at peace.

But you couldn’t shake the feeling of dread about what awaited when you faced Aaron again. Would he understand? Would he apologize?

Eventually, as the evening wound down, you found a moment to step outside for fresh air. The night sky was dotted with stars, a stark contrast to the storm of emotions swirling inside you.

A few moments later, Erin joined you, leaning against the railing. “You okay?” she asked, her tone gentle.

You sighed. “I just don’t know how this will end, Aunt Erin. I don’t want to lose him.”

Erin looked at you, her expression thoughtful. “You won’t lose him if you both work through this. Just remember that love isn’t always easy. It takes effort, understanding, and sometimes a little bit of faith.”

“Do you think he’ll come back?” you asked, vulnerability creeping into your voice.

“I believe he will,” Erin replied firmly. “Just give him some time to sort through his feelings.”

With a nod, you inhaled deeply, trying to gather your thoughts. The night was quiet, and for the first time in a while, you felt a flicker of hope.

“Thank you for being here for us,” you said, turning to Erin. “It means a lot.”

“Always,” she replied, pulling you into a warm embrace. “Now let’s go back inside. Rossi has a five-course meal waiting, and I know Ava can’t wait to show off her cooking skills.”

As you both headed back inside, you couldn’t help but feel grateful for the family you had found in the BAU. No matter how rocky the path ahead might be, you knew you wouldn’t have to face it alone. You just had to hold onto hope—and perhaps, one day, Aaron would understand that family meant more than just blood.

[spacetimeaccordionfolder]

It's so interesting to look at the new page (2.0.3) as compared to chapters 14 and 15. We know that Alinua is trying not to level city blocks and to keep people safe, and Shrike sees her restraint as cowardice. It's like someone not acting in their full power offends her.

The positioning of the characters here versus in 1.15.9 and 1.15.12 (group shots, with 1.15.12 panel 3 being the closest line up of characters to Shrike's flaskback on 2.0.3, but very different stances) is very interesting. On 2.0.3, we've got edgy loner Falst (I saw a comment on the page how this reflects Shrike's view of ferin which was interesting), Erin looking like he would unironically do the haughty noble lady laugh (also those eyebrows what), many others have pointed out how different Alinua's stance here is- it's designed to reflect the "hanger-on" and "coward" that Shrike sees, just a scared elf, and big buff angry Tess, with the lightning scar, muscles, and serious face on display. In the sequence from 1.15.9 to 1.15.12, things are different. We see Alinua, Falst, and Tess making a plan, and deciding to throw subtlety out the window. Falst and Tess, while ready to fight to buy Alinua time, soften and smile when Erin appears. Alinua does not have the same panicked expression as Shrike remembers, instead quickly enacting the plan- we see on 1.15.10 that she's already started growing vines. Erin looks less smug and more serious. He isn't smiling, but instead cutting to the heart of the matter ("Are you done pretending this is about the law?").

Comparing more with 1.14.11-15, the sequence in which Shrike first interacts with Alinua and Falst. In 1.14.11, Alinua used the melon seeds to keep the hunters off Tess, even with Falst trying to convince her to leave, and seeing the apparent danger. Alinua looks a bit panicked between 1.14.12 and 1.14.14, but nothing like Shrike remembers. In these pages, the hunters notice the two, Falst gets shot with the arrow, and the two are almost arrested. The arrests get averted when Alinua (panels 8 and 10 on 1.14.14) goes all glowy green eyes and, using the melon seeds from earlier, makes a wall of plants, entangling some of the hunters (just barely missing Shrike) and allowing the trio to escape. First- very cool epic magic. Second, comparing 1.14.14 and 15 with page 13 makes it look like Shrike wasn't too far from Alinua. The plant wall barely missed her. All Shrike says to that is that "the elf" is a "heavier hitter than [she] expected."

And yet. Yet 2.0.3, Shrike calls Alinua a coward for seemingly not biting back while being chased. As the audience, know that, had Erin not intervened in ch. 15, Shrike would have seen more of Alinua's abilities. With the destruction of the prison, and Zuurith rebuilding with Vash's words in mind, Shrike's whole world and way of life has changed, leaving her with "a new victory to want," as Trusk puts it. If Shrike tries to fight Alinua on her own, to not let this new power walk away, then she will likely see just how much the area of Zuurith was holding Alinua back (people in buildings that could be hurt, rules restraining everything, no good dirt). Shrike's character is both fascinating and irritating all at once. She has seen the bad of Zuurith, been in the arena, and found a way to make a profit. As she says on 1.15.7, "My dream is to win. And I have. I played their game and now they let me do whatever I want." On 1.15.19, when Trusk asks why she isn't pursuing, she says that arresting a foreign dignitary isn't fun before admitting that the city makes her tired. Potentially, after the events of the past chapters, (a night in comic time), Shrike is trying to wrestle with her world being torn open. So she follows the person who broke it, with the line "and here I thought I knew what winning looked like."

I am very excited for this potential confrontation. I am also excited to see how Shrike handles her changing world view.

[kamryn1963]

would you please write a Hank and Erin ficlet where she has a pregnancy scare and he catches her taking a test/crying at the office/googling something and them having a confrontation about it

Thank you for the request! I had some time on the drive to the beach this morning (I wasn't driving lol) and I managed to get this written up.

Enjoy!

Erin had been acting weird lately. Hank hadn't been able to put his finger on why, he just knew it was worrying. 

He had tried to talk to her of course, but Erin had just brushed him off and told him she was fine. Hank had tried to talk to Jay as well but he seemed as worried and clueless as Hank. This has been going on for nearly a week at this point and Hank was close to snapping. Erin had gotten more and more closed off recently and was starting to isolate herself from everyone. 

Hank was planning to head to her apartment and talk to her that night and was surprised when he came out of his office to see her still at his desk. Right away Hank noticed she was crying and he headed over to her instantly. 

Erin heard him and looked up, quickly wiping at her face as she saw the look on Hank's face. 

“I'm fine”. Erin said before Hank could speak. 

“You call this fine?” Hank asked with a scoff as he looked at Erin's tear stained face. 

“Hank, I'm fine. I just want to head home”. Erin argued. She knew this conversation was bound to happen and this time she wouldn't be able to just leave without giving Hank an answer of some kind. 

“Erin”. Hank warned as he pulled Jay's desk chair up to Erin's desk and he sat down. 

“Does this have to do with Bunny?” That was where Hank's mind first went. That's where his mind always went when Erin was upset. 

God knows Bunny had caused enough trouble in Erin's life that it wasn't a ridiculous suggestion. 

“Not everything has to do with her”. Erin responded harshly. She knew that would only make Hank mad but she also didn't know how to talk to Hank of all people about what actually happened. 

She hadn't even told Jay yet. 

“Don't give me that bullshit, Erin. Just tell me what happened”. Hank replied seriously. 

Erin didn't say anything but the tense silence and the stern look on Hank's face soon made her snap. 

“Fine! I thought I was pregnant!” Erin shouted and silence came over the bullpen. 

Hank was thankful it was only the two of them still there. 

“You what?” Hank knew what she said and Erin knew that too. 

“I was late and I kept forgetting to buy a test and for a few days there I thought I was pregnant. And I just kept thinking you know? That maybe, I'd be a good mother”. Erin admitted. She didn't look at Hank. She couldn't. 

Erin knew she should've told Jay when she thought she was pregnant with his child. Erin was too scared, too much of a coward to tell him. To get both their hopes up. 

“Me and Jay talked a bit when we first started dating, and both decided we don't want kids, at least not right now. But I imagined a world where we started a family together”. Erin was crying again and she hated herself for it. 

Why was she crying over something that never existed? It's not like she had a miscarriage or something. She just wasn't pregnant. But Erin couldn't stop imagining a fantasy of her, Jay and a baby, a perfect mix of them. 

“It's just a stupid thing for me to get upset about”. Erin said with a laugh but there was no humor in it and she still couldn't meet Hank's eyes. 

“It's not stupid, not at all”. Hank didn't know what to say, how to help. At times like these he really missed Camille. 

“I'm getting so upset over something that never existed”. Erin said angrily but she was only angry at herself. 

Erin never saw herself as a mother. Not until now and the longing was strong. The longing to be a better mother than hers ever was. She wanted to be a mother like Camille had been. 

“Come here”. Hank replied and Erin didn't argue as she hugged him. He just held her as her body shook with silent sobs. 

“I could be a good mother”. Erin sobbed and Hank just held her tighter as he rubbed her back. 

“You will be. I know you will”. Hank reassured. He still felt like he wasn't the best person for Erin to talk to but he was just happy she was opening up. 

Erin didn't respond but her sobs died off and she pulled away. Erin tied her hair up needing something to do with her hands before Hank noticed how badly they were shaking. 

“Thank you”. Erin said sincerely a few moments later. 

Hank nodded as he stood up. “Are you feeling better, kid?” 

“I am. I should go talk to Jay now”. Erin replied as she also stood up and took a deep breath. 

After a few more minutes, Erin left heading to her apartment now feeling lighter and ready to have a conversation with her boyfriend. 

Hank stayed at the district for another hour before he also headed home. His conversation with Erin was still fresh in his mind and he needed time to think. Probably with alcohol. 

[whitewolf2759]

Suprise Return-Erin Lindsay

Hey guys I hope you enjoy this one-shot, I have just started publishing my writing so there may be some mistakes and if you want to view more of my content I will place a link to my youtube below.

Warning: This is a slight continuation of my other Erin Lindsay story love at first sight.

///

The only person who knew that Erin was in a relationship was Voight. He noticed after spotting the small pile of  literary classics next to the couch at Erin’s apartment one night.

After shooting her a curious look with a raised eyebrow, Erin explained that she met someone reading them and thought she’d give them a try, eventually asking you for some recommendations and giving you her number.

Your relationship with Erin quickly became serious by the time that she was working up in Intelligence with people she’d only referred to by surname and Hank, who you had already met.

You knew of a Halstead, Dawson and Olinsky. It was only over a video call that Erin told you about Atwater, Ruzek and Burgess.

You’d also heard all about Platt when Erin was recounting how the photos were taken.

She also mentioned Ruzek had eyed her causing you to give a chuckle and yawning slightly after.

“you look tired, babe.” Erin smiled, cooing at your sleepy state.

“These time zones suck and I can never sleep comfortably without you” You admitted with tired sigh and sad smile.

The different time zones, not knowing when you will be back and long distance relation took a lot of energy to work however you couldn’t be happier with the life you two share.

“I should let you sleep, you look adorable, but exhausted-” Erin began but the whine that left your throat had made her laugh..

“I love you.” You stated, leaving Erin to respond with a cute grin, her cheeks dusting pink like this was the first time you told her you loved her.

One of your favourite things about Erin was that her reaction to you saying that you loved her had such a sincere reaction. It was as if you were saying it for the first time each time.

“I love you too, babe. Sweetdreams!” Erin replied before the two of you ended the call.

///

It had been months since you’d been in Erin’s arms and the long distance and time physically apart was killing you.

That’s why you jumped at the opportunity to do a residency at Chicago Med, working alongside Connor Rhodes in trauma surgery as he did both Trauma surgery and Cardiothoracic surgery.

Now it was time to return to your love.

The time zones were on your side as your flight had you flying whilst it was still nighttime in Chicago, meaning by the time you were landing, Erin would be at work.

Your first thought was to head to the district, but the issue was, if Erin or Hank weren’t there, you were unsure if they would let you past the front desk even if you were in military uniform.

Erin frowned as her phone began to ring, glancing at the ID to realise you were calling.

“Hey, shouldn’t you be asleep?” Erin murmured into the phone, ignoring the looks she was getting from the others as her eyes lit up and she rushed out of Intelligence.

“Erin!” Jay called out in shock at her action, gaining a shrug from Platt as she followed alongside Adam, Kim and Kevin.

“What’s going on-” Kim began before Adam whistled, gaining rolled eyes and small laughs from everyone else.

///

You were standing inside the lobby with your suitcase behind you when Erin came running out, pausing trying to spot you only to see you standing there with a cheeky grin on your face.

Everything else was blurred as Erin made a beeline to you, wrapping you in a tight hug to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. 

“You’re here, you’re really here.” Erin whispered into your hair, smiling as she felt you wrap your arms around her,a felling of comfort and happiness radiating off the both of you as you are finally in each other’s arms after so long.

“When an offer to return to you came up I jumped at it, hopefully you will be stuck with for a long time” You explained, kissing her forehead as she met your eyes before you froze with a slight blush gracing your cheeks.

“We’re being watched.” You said with shy smile

Erin paused at that, turning around in your arms to look directly at the rest of Intelligence with a raised eyebrow and slightly annoyed look which had them either shrinking back or giving her amused looks.

“I’d ask if you wanted to meet them but you look exhausted, did you sleep on the plane?”

“Turbulance woke me up a few times and I was too excited about seeing you ” You said only to cover your mouth to yawn, leaving Erin to coo at you tired face.

“Let’s get you home, babe. We just finished a case so, we have the rest of the night to ourselves.” Erin smiled, brushing a piece of fluff from your eyebrow as you leaned to nuzzle you head into her neck.

///

You let out a tired but content sigh as you flopped onto the bed, hearing Erin chuckle as she ran her fingers up through your hair.

“Mmm” You moaned the sensation of her soft hand and delicate fingers caressing your hair making you sink deeper into the bed.

Your eyes landed on Erin’s nightstand and the familiar book that laid there on it.

“Re-reading it again?” You asked, breathing in Erin’s pillow as you felt her lay next to you spooning you from behind, her arm going around you to the exposed skin of your front caressing your sides and stomach. You discarded your coat and jacket at the doorway, leaving you in a t-shirt that rode up as soon as you’d flopped down.

Your skin tingled at the feeling of Erin’s fingers caressing you and turn your head to give her a quick but love filled kiss resting your hand on hers squeezing it to slighty show how much you missed her

“I missed you.” Erin said softly, smiling to herself as you yawned again.

“C’mon sleeping beauty, let’s get you to sleep.” Erin chuckled, smiling more as you shufled closer into her embrace.

“I love you Erin.” You whispered, pressing a kiss to her neck as she gave you a loving smile, arms around your waist as her fingers ran over the exposed skin of your front.

“I love you too”

[devilinlittlehope]

I am here to request a little Jerin fic…it doesn’t have to be NSFW, but I don’t really have a preference…thank you for providing for the fandom :)

Hi, thanks for the support🫶🏻 here’s a little Jerin ficlet as requested!

It’s mostly sfw but gets a little nsfw at the end so 18+ warning!!

Jerin is one of my favorite couples and what I love is that if you keep both alive the two talk about how their relationship will progress in the outside world. It was great to see that representation and it meant a lot to me! I wanted to continue to explore that in this fic. I love Jamie and Erin so much and am so happy that supermassive games gave us this wonderful couple❤️❤️ let’s go lesbians!!

This mini fic takes place after Jamie chooses to save Erin over Kate. Kate and mark have are off having some alone time and Jamie and Erin are together and recovering:

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jamie asks. She takes Erin’s hand in hers, squeezing it gently.

Erin has already used her inhaler and has been quiet since. Jamie can’t imagine what she’s feeling right now. The thought of her air being cut off sends an imagined burning feeling in her throat that tears. That’s probably not half as bad as what it actually felt like.

“I am now,” Erin says. “Thank you for saving me.”

“It felt terrible to choose, but I’m glad you’re both safe,” Jamie says. Briefly, she thinks about what might’ve happened if Kate's window hadn't been faulty. For all her jokes, she never really hated Kate at all. If things had been different, would she have blood on her hands? She shivers, ridding herself of the thought. A flash of anger seizes her. Fuck Du’Met and his stupid games.

For now, they’re all alive. Jamie will do anything to make sure Erin stays that way.

“If it’s not too personal, why did you choose me?” Erin asks. Her big brown eyes shyly meet Jamie’s. She looks so goddamn adorable.

“You’re a good kisser,” Jamie jokes. Then, she sighs. It’s been so hard to open up to other people in the past. Anytime it got serious, her mind wanted to push them away before they got to know the real her. But with Erin, it’s different. She wants to share herself with Erin, all her strengths, all her flaws. She’s tired of being alone, but it’s more than that. Erin is not some hookup, and adrenaline isn’t dictating the way she feels. When Jamie thinks about Erin, all she feels is extreme happiness. Jamie has a desire to impress her, to charm her, to take care of her, to do everything in her power to make Erin hers. It’s funny how it’s taken a life or death experience to give her the courage to admit these feelings.

“I chose to save you because I want there to be a future where we’re together. I don’t want to live in a world without you in it. I’m kind of falling in love with you, and if you feel the same, I’d love to be with you if we make it out alive,” Jamie says. There are tears in her eyes, and her heart is beating out of her chest.

Erin surprises Jamie with her boldness. She cups the other girl's face in her hand, looking into her eyes. Her gaze is lovely and intense, and Jamie melts under it. “When we make it out alive, not if,” she says. “We’re making it out of this, no matter how scary it might seem. We’re going to have a future together.”

A surge of love overtakes Jamie as she leans over and kisses Erin passionately. As their mouths collide, Jamie realizes she’s backed Erin against the wall, and she’s sitting on a ledge where she can slot perfectly between her legs.

It gives her an idea.

She decides that she wants to take Erin’s breath away, in a way of her own choosing.

As Jamie emerges from the kissing, both women are breathless and excited.

Jamie grins a bit mischievously, full lips in a smirk, as she drops to her knees and settles between Erin’s legs. Her skirt is easy to lift up, thankfully. Jamie plays with the hem of it, considering her options.

“I want to help you relax in the way I know best,” she offers.

“Oh Jamie-“ Erin says, breath hitching as the other girl plays with the hem of her underwear. “I’m new to this,” Erin admits.

Jamie beams up at her. “You’re doing great. Just follow my lead. I want to make you feel good.”

“I trust you,” Erin says, nodding her assent.

She gasps as Jamie’s fingers circle her entrance, plunging the warm depths of her. As Jamie’s fingers pump in and out of Erin in a slow, sensual rhythm, her legs open wider and she whispers her praise.

Jamie dips her head so she can taste Erin, and she savors the feel of her clit beneath her tongue and the other girl’s moans of pleasure. She’ll look forward to doing this as often as she can once they’re far away from the island. She can’t wait until they’re safe. Jamie wants to wake up beside Erin every morning and fall asleep beside her every night.

“I’m falling in love with you too,” Erin whispers once they’ve finished, and are cuddling together, in the warmth of each other’s arms. Jamie has never felt so alive.

**********

If you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for reading! This was fun to write and the first Jerin piece I’ve done, but not the last I’ll write. I hope you’ve enjoyed your request, anon :)

If y’all liked this, feel free to comment or reblog! I’m definitely writing more supermassive games/dark pictures content 🥰💕

[morningmask27]

Thoughts on the new excerpt ?

it seems promising.

the chapters all had their good moments. FrostWhistle is basically becoming canon (sad that Whis isn't the cat that accompanies Frost on the journey), but Whis was so kind and it was so fun to see Whis In the text instead of in my head constantly. I have to admit I squealed in delight when Whis appeared. my little whiw has speaking lines! finally! (ok yeah Whis appeared briefly in River, but that was all)

the lack of buildup was a bit sad. I don't really believe Frost has spent a lot of time with Whis in the books as very little time passes between them atm. but in a magical otherworld (daily whis verse), they're spending a lot of time just having fun! I like that Frost trusts Whis so much, even when she has no reason to do so. She has to Trust Nobody, but Whis is an exception (is Whis Nodoby?) and it's so cute to see

Nightheart is Nightheart, he's ok. it's a bit annoying that the narrative makes it seem like he was actually wronged instead of him being an ass, but whatever, can't change that. but at least the female characters aren't portrayed as vile anymore. honestly my first thoughts when reading his chapter was that Myrtlebloom was going to steal his girl, and then Finchlight had that one line "Finchlight was heading toward Sunbeam. “Don’t worry,” she told Nightheart as she passed him. “I’ll make sure she doesn’t feel lonely.”" like damn girl, you're stealing your brother's gf almost immeditately there.

the rest of that chapter was a bit grating. i liked Myrtlebloom and Bayshine being sillies (and pulling out the Nightheart cringe comp) and Spark, Lily and Finch getting positive spotlight was fun, but the bigger clan stuff was fun to see finally, but annoying. Why Are So Many Cats Against Squirrelflight Becoming Leader? i mean yeah, it could be seen as them being weaker than before, or some other political stuff, but the total dislike of Squirrelflight by a grand part of the clan irks me. Twigbranch is an mvp for truly believing in Squilf. Lionblaze please stfu, you have done enough dumb things.

and i'm not that big a fan of deputy Ivypool. I know why she was chosen, both in a watsonian(in universe) and a doylist(our world) explanation, but it's a bit annoying. If they make the drama between dove and ivy good, While Also portraying Ivy in the wrong (because she is!) then maybe i'll allow it.

and then Sunbeam. it was an interesting chapter to end on, but if the Erins make Sunny fret over Night for a whole book I will riot. it will probably not 100% be the case because Berryheart has very clearly proven herself to be A Problem, but damn hell if she spends all her chapters thinking about her dumb boyfriend. Sun had some great moments in that chapter, being a bit awkward now that she's on her own (kinda) in a camp she barely knows, but luckily she has her two girlfriends Myrtle and Finch (plus Bay and Spark) who love and support her.

Berry's whole spiel was also a sight to beckon. Really well done, and Spark was having her "i'm the mom who steps up" moment and using it like a champ. I also Loved how Finch implied that Berry might be the reason Sun bailed. Finch is right, Berry is excruciating. The worries she planted in Sun's head better develop in Sun discovering she's in a wonderful environment now, surrounded by cats she loves and that love her, romantically or not. that she finds value and joy in living in this clan

just please, Erin Hunter. You made Bristlefrost so bland in the latter half of tbc, that was already enough, please don't do this again.

so yeah, I liked this preview. I can't buy it because i'm not shipping this bastard over from america to read, but maybe i'll grab the pdf and buy it once it gets translated in dutch (in many, many years, we're only at darkest night (avos book 4) atm)

[casspurrjoybell-20]

Sky Twizzlers - Chapter 15b

*Warning Adult Content*

Why Am I Here? - Part 4 - Aaron 

The moment Erin entered the bathroom, he noticed my red eyes and pulled me into a hug. I refused to cry loudly in front of him, not that I had been sobbing before but I let out a few silent tears. He pulled us both to the ground with me in between his legs, my back to his chest. I was instantly reminded of the way I used to be comforted as a child. 

‘Of course, Erin would remember. Mom did this for him, too.’ 

The thought of that made my chest tighten.

"Talk to me," Erin said firmly.

"Evander almost kissed me," I blurted out.

"Okay and that made you bolt?" he asked.

"Yes... no... I don't really know," I stumbled over my words.

I recounted what happened on the balcony the best I could and he listened carefully. I left out what important conversation I wanted to talk about with my mates because I felt like they deserved to know about it first. I could lie to Erin once and then pull him aside to explain it but I didn't want to lie to my mates any more. 

‘You're doing that now whether you acknowledge it or not.’

"Okay... So why did you run, Aaron?" Erin asked me.

I couldn't look at him, so I focused on our hands. My clammy hands were clasped together and his covered both of mine. Even if it felt comforting, I couldn't help but think about how warm and comfortable Aubrey and Evander were. I'd always thought that there were only two people in this entire world who could make me feel safe in their arms but now that number has become four.

‘Well, three.’

"I panicked," I admitted. 

"My stomach twisted in knots and I panicked. I didn't know what to do. And when I got here I fought off a panic attack. It scared me."

"The kiss?"

My breath hitched. Could I tell him this? Would he think I was weird? Who was I kidding, I was weird. Who panicked over kissing their mate? And Evander even initiated the damn kiss. The one person in this relationship who wasn't compelled by a fated mate bond. How ridiculous. 

"Yes," I whispered. "I was afraid of the kiss."

Erin went silent. I feared his reaction. Would he yell at me? Tell me to man up? To get over it?

‘You're a whiny little brat. You will never be the man our pack needs as a Beta. I would've been better off having a daughter over a filthy...’

No. I squeezed my eyes shut to try and block out that voice. I hated that voice. Erin must've sensed my shift in mood because he squeezed my hands gently before lifting his hands off mine to hug me closer to his body. 

"Stop. I know what you're thinking about. That old bastard doesn't control you. His words mean nothing," he said firmly.

"Goddess, you know me so well it freaks me out sometimes," I said bitterly.

"Two decades of friendship does that, Aaron," he stated matter-of-factly.

"Ugh. Don't talk like that. You make us sound old."

Erin laughed loudly. 

"I'm serious, though. Please, ignore that voice in your head and just talk to me. I would never say anything to hurt you the way he did."

I hummed, thinking about the decision I was about to make. I'd already decided to wait to tell my mates about my powers first but what about... that? Then again, who better to tell than Erin? He could help me when I needed it. I wasn't ready to admit to my mates what I was but maybe... maybe I could start with myself and Erin.

‘You haven't even said the word aloud, idiot.’

"I..." my voice caught in my throat as my anxiety went up.

"Deep breaths. If it's too much to tell me then don't," Erin said.

"I was afraid of the kiss because..."

"Because?"

"Um, you see... I'm..."

Damn it. I grit my teeth together, trying to mentally beat myself up. Why couldn't I get the words out? Just speak. Speak, you fucking...

"I'm asexual."

The words popped out before I even realized what was happening but once they were out, I felt like I was about to be crushed under the weight of the silence from Erin.

"I'm asexual," I repeated slowly, trying to force myself through the silence. 

"I was afraid of the kiss because I was afraid of what could happen next. I'm... disgusted by sex. I know, it's really weird or whatever. I just can't... I can't think about my mates wanting something like that from me if I will never feel... that way."

Erin was still silent. My stomach dropped as I slowly turned around in his arms. 

"Erin?" I asked hesitantly.

His face was full of sadness. What was that look supposed to even mean? 

"Hey, man, if you pity me, don't. I don't need..."

"I'm not pitying you," Erin said, his face suddenly much harder. 

"I'm angry at myself for not noticing sooner. And after all those jokes I've made. Goddess, I'm sorry, Aaron. I should've known."

His words made me pause. 

"You don't think I'm weird?"

Erin raised an eyebrow. 

"You are weird but not because of your sexuality. What's weird is that you think you're weird for being asexual. Why would you think that?"

"Because I'm not normal?" I prompted. 

He gave me a blank stare, so I continued. 

"Everyone else likes sex and has sexual attraction. Everyone else is normal. I'm not. I feel like I'm an alien sometimes. Like I'm missing a part of me that makes me human."

"Aaron, you're not human," he argued. 

"You're more than that, literally. And just because you don't experience the same thing others do, doesn't make you less normal or whatever. It makes you different, sure but not abnormal."

We both went silent again. I was suddenly a lot... happier. A weight had been lifted off my chest. He wasn't mad or rude or disrespectful. Not that I thought Erin of all people would be that way but you can't get rid of that irrational fear sometimes. It takes over; it's taken me over.

"I'm so glad I told you," I breathed out in relief.

"Well, I'm glad you told me, too. Now, when are you going to tell your mates?"

"I don't know," I admitted with a frown. 

"I'm worried about what they will think. Will they be hurt? I'm supposed to be their mate. I'm supposed to want to kiss them and... other stuff."

Erin laughed lightly. 

"It'll be fine. They're your mates for a reason. Why would the Moon Goddess pair you up with people that would hate your sexuality?"

"The Moon Goddess is a bitch and you know that," I said seriously, to which he laughed again.

I don't get why he was laughing. She was a bitch. The amount of shit she put Erin through makes me want to reach into the celestial heavens and smack her repeatedly. 

"Okay, are you done moping now? You let it all out? We need to go soon. I came here to invite you guys to breakfast, not look at your ugly crying face," he teased.

"Shut up," I grumbled, turning around to punch him in the chest. 

"Thank you, Erin. This... really helped."

"What are friends for? And now, you'll have me around to help you out. Just make sure you tell them someday soon. They deserve to know."

"I know."

We both got up from the floor and left the bathroom. Evander and Aubrey looked at us with curious eyes but I looked anywhere but their faces.

"Alright, I'll be downstairs waiting for you guys. Hurry up. After breakfast, we're going to discuss what to do next."

"Oh, that reminds me," I said. 

"I'll explain at breakfast don't worry. But, I have a plan I think we should follow."

Erin nodded his head and left with a final wave, leaving my mates and me in silence. Okay, time to apologize. 

"I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry that I didn't talk, Evander and I'm sorry I was so rude, Aubrey," I said, still avoiding looking at them.

Aubrey jumped up and ran over to hug me. I was shocked by the sudden embrace but I accepted it anyway. I held him close to my chest and breathed in his wonderful scent when I felt another pair of arms come up from behind me. Evander pulled me into his chest and I breathed a sigh of relief. They weren't mad.

"It's alright, Aaron. Please, don't beat yourself up about it," Evander said.

"Yeah, you were upset. We're just glad you're okay now," Aubrey added, his face buried in my neck.

"Thank you," I whispered, unable to say anything.

Goddess. The day just started and I'm already exhausted. We haven't even begun our mission yet and I'm already ready to call it quits for the day. But, before that...

"I have to talk to you guys about something."

[bllsbailey]

Jill Biden Treats Joe Like a Child in Sad and Infuriating Remarks After Debate

The only way to describe the CNN debate for Joe Biden was a train wreck. 

It was so bad even Democrats couldn't argue it away or turn it into a "win." I seriously doubt we will have a second debate in September as planned — at least not with Biden, as the talk is now underway with some on the left about how he should be replaced. 

As my colleague Sister Todjah explained, it was so bad that Jill even had to take his hand at the end and do handler duties to usher him off the stage. Look at how she has to help him here. 

WATCH: Troubling Post-Debate Moment With Joe and Jill Biden and Another Handler Has People Talking

It's Happening: Growing Calls From Liberal Media for DNC to Replace Biden at the Convention or Earlier

If anything truly put a cap on how bad it was, that was it. He can't even walk down two steps without the help of handlers. That's truly concerning. He did worse than I even thought he could do after all that prep. 

But even after having to lead him off the stage like that, you still had Jill Biden trying to communicate a fantasyland assessment of the debate to Joe and to supporters at a campaign event right after. Now why they would do that after the debate when he was already beyond his capacity and it's already way past his bedtime is beyond me. What Jill said was both sad and infuriating.

"Joe, you did such a great job. You answered every question. You knew all the facts," she said. "And what did Trump do?" she asked the crowd. "Lie!"  On the contrary, it was Biden who lied — constantly. 

Meanwhile Biden just stood there, like he had no idea what was going on, with this vacant look on his face, but Mommy was praising him and might give him an ice cream. 

I'm sorry, Jill Biden is just a horrible human being. Both because she's letting this happen to him, but then treating him like a three-year-old child there, in front of others, acting as though this was some great win for him instead of the unmitigated disaster it actually was. 

Bombshell: Listen to What CNN's Erin Burnett Just Admitted About Biden Knowing the Debate Questions

This May Be the Most Incoherent Biden Moment of the Debate

Biden Completely Implodes on Charlottesville Lie, Ends Up Arguing Against Himself

If I were to caption it, it might be "worst wife in the world." Who does something like this to someone she supposedly loves?   

They deluded themselves and their supporters about Joe Biden, hoping to hold onto control. But it blew back on them big time during the debate. 

Biden should step aside, but that's probably in the hands of this woman, and she hasn't shown she cares enough about the country and about her husband to do it. 

[erineverly]

“Yeah, all the time, but especially when it’s super late and I can’t sleep,” she admits with a nod, feeling a lot better now that she knows they can relate to one another. It makes her feel less weird about herself. “Gosh, the stuff from, like, years ago is the absolute worst. When I called my teacher mom in third grade? I still think about it.” It might not be the most embarrassing of things that had happened to her back in school, it’s nothing compared to that one time when it was her turn to read aloud and she couldn’t utter a word, but she doesn’t feel like unloading her childhood trauma on her ex-husband while they’re bathing their son. “That’s such a fun age. Have you thought about the theme for the party yet?” She inquires with a small smile because it’s always her favorite part — planning everything, preparing decorations, baking the cake, wrapping the presents in cute paper. “Hey, just the other day I was going through Sebastian’s closet and found plenty of clothes that still look brand new and are in great condition, but he’s growing so fast that they’re too small for him now, and I was thinking… Would you like to go through them when we get back and pick some stuff for Mickey Mouse? I’ll donate the rest.” She feels silly refraining from uttering Dylan’s name in Sebastian’s presence, but at the same time, she doesn’t feel like pacifying yet another tantrum today. “Cause mommy wuvs me an’ only me, an’ you don’t,” Sebastian blurts out without thinking much, dipping his hands into the water to retrieve the cup. He flashes Axl a stormy look, still very much upset with him for mentioning the other boy’s name. Sebastian’s a baby, too, which is why he blames not his parents and their choices, but Dylan and Stephanie and Anthony for their break up. Dylan especially. He gets to spend all the time in the world with his daddy. “An’ I wan’ mommy to get jammies on me,” he adds, folding his arms over his chest and huffing. “An’ I still paintin’.” Which roughly translates to I’m not getting dressed anytime soon. Wordlessly, he hands Erin the cup and picks up the lost crayon. Unfortunately, his drawing’s gotten washed away and now he has to start from the beginning. It makes him even more angry, hot tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. Erin remains frozen in place, only briefly glancing towards Axl. She feels for him, knows exactly what it’s like to be the hated parent and wishing there was something that she could do to remind him that their son loves them both equally and this is just jealousy talking, but can’t find the word. “Bullshi’ jammies,” the small redhead grumbles underneath his breath without even looking at his parents, pressing the crayon so hard to the side of the tub that it’s a wonder he hasn’t yet broken it in half.

“You do that too? Thought I was the only one. And it’ll even be sh— stuff from like, fourth grade I’ll dwell on and still feel embarrassed about.” Just like almost blurting shit. Damn, not saying curse words around these kids is tough as hell. “Mhm. Well, about to turn three soon.” he replies, but almost same difference. Emeralds become more alert when Sebastian suddenly catches an attitude, toddlers beginning to make him feel like he has to step on eggshells around them. One little thing and they blow up, even Dylan is like that. In a store and they see candy but they can’t have it… you know it’s over with and you’re going to have to hear a screaming episode for the next fifteen minutes. Sometimes, he doesn’t even know how the hell he keeps his cool. “Uhh, okay.” Saying it confusingly, sitting on his knees then dropping the cup in the water even if he’s already splashed it over him. What the hell is this about? All the sudden. Right out of the fucking blue. “Why not me?” Axl questions, voice coming out offended and hurt as he blinks and stares at Sebastian. It might be stupid, but it hurts his feelings when he says NOT YOU. He’s just a baby still, but he still somehow manages to hurt his feelings. Especially when he has to make a show of moving away from him even, the frown reaches the singers eyes. “It’s time to get out soon anyway, you’re all squeaky clean now and get to be put in Scooby Doo jammies.” Which is going to make him even angrier, he bets. But he’s going to have to get over it or hate him one, he’s compromised and gave him his way enough tonight. He knows he sucks at being a dad, since he couldn’t force himself to stay with his mother to keep their family together, but tonight he feels like he’s actually been really great towards Sebastian and he shouldn’t be acting like this. Even now, Axl is still keeping a light hearted voice, “Scooby jammiesss, Sebastian.” Axl stands up and picks them up, unfolding his pants and dancing with them. “And melmo robe. Melmmmo.” Picking that up next, dancing with it too.

[writtenjewels]

Super Massive Party

[This will contain characters from Devil in Me but is spoiler-free on the story. Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate and please consider donating to World Center Kitchen for Thankmas!] 

Anthony stood at the door, debating whether or not he was going to knock. He had recently made peace with his past-- finally let go of his family and moved on from the tragedy-- only to get a call from this man claiming to be his younger brother. His living, biological brother. He wasn't sure he was ready to accept anyone else into his life.

On the other hand, a part of him always wondered about his biological family. Who were they? Why did they give him up when he was a baby? He took a breath and knocked.

The door opened and for a moment he stared at the face on the other side. It was like looking at a slimmer version of himself. Their faces were similar and though this version had more hair, it was the same color as Anthony's. Naturally this man didn't have a burned ear, and he wore glasses.

“Anthony. So glad you came,” the slimmer man greeted him. Charlie, Anthony remembered. His brother's name was Charlie Lonnit. The accent still threw Anthony off. Apparently his birth family was British. Maybe some part of him knew that and that was why he imagined the accent whenever he thought of the Little Hope witch trials. “Do come in,” Charlie gestured.

Anthony did so and was immediately overwhelmed by the number of people inside the house. Most of them were clumped together in groups chatting or already in the kitchen making food.

“Let me introduce you to my team,” Charlie offered. Anthony was grateful for the direction. Charlie led him over to one of the chatting groups. One of them turned and Anthony gave a little jerk of surprise. That face reminded him strongly of Vince when he was young. “This is Mark Nestor; he's my photographer.”

“Hi,” Mark nodded with a pleasant smile. “Nice to finally meet some of Charlie's family. Though I guess... the two of you are meeting for the first time too?”  Anthony didn't know what to do so he just nodded. With Mark was Kate Wilder, the host of Charlie’s show. She seemed friendly enough and joked that she hoped Anthony wasn't as big as a pain in the ass as Charlie. Or at least Anthony assumed that was a joke. He was relieved when Charlie steered him to the next guest.

“These two are Jamie Tiergan and Erin Keenan. Lights and sound design, respectively. Jamie helped me find you,” Charlie informed him.

“Wasn't that hard,” Jamie shrugged. “Just plugged some information into Ancestry dot com and just like that--” she snapped her finger-- “I found you.”

“Thank you,” Anthony said quietly. He caught Erin's eye and she gave him an understanding smile. I'm shy and quiet, too, she seemed to be saying, and that made him feel a little better.

Charlie moved them on to his other guests. Anthony was a little surprised Charlie knew so many people, but his brother (still strange to think of Charlie that way) admitted he knew all of them through work. He'd gotten his start doing war documentaries before moving on to true crime.

“That's where I met these fellows,” Charlie concluded. He named them and Anthony nodded to each in turn: Jason and Salim Othman-Kolchek, married for almost twenty years now. They had a little girl with them and Anthony almost blurted out Megan? But no, her skin was darker than Megan's. Her name was actually Alima and Jason and Salim had adopted her.

“I was adopted too,” Anthony told her. She looked about Megan's age, he reflected, but also looked happier than Anthony remembered Megan being. “I had two sisters and a brother.”

“I have a brother too!” Alima chirped. “His name is Zain. We're going to visit him and his family in London.”

“That sounds nice. I hope you have a good time.”

Anthony got another shock when Charlie introduced him to Eric King. Something about Eric's face reminded Anthony of that officer who directed him to Little Hope a few years back. He also met Nick and Rachel Kay and Nick’s two nephews Alex and Brad. Alex’s wife Julia was in the kitchen helping with food.

Anthony was having trouble keeping track of all the names. Finally Charlie left him to his own devices and he wandered into the kitchen. He checked out the stovetop and let out a breath. Relax. This is a modern home. Everything's fine. Two of those in the kitchen were arguing with each other, one speaking in French and the other in Arabic. The French speaker looked a little like Jamie and Anthony wondered if they were related. The Arabic speaker turned and Anthony gasped. The man looked like his father! A different skin tone like Alima and a little heavier-set, but the face...

“Dar.” Eric stepped in, taking the Arabic man by the shoulder. “Did you want to take a break from cooking?” Dar’s expression softened at once (Anthony found it hard to imagine his father looking like that) and followed Eric back out to the party.

“Oh, good,” a voice spoke up. “More help. Could you take these out for us?” Anthony reeled back as yet another familiar face stared back at him. The man gave him a smile. “Don't worry, I get that reaction a lot.”

“Sorry,” Anthony sighed. “You just reminded me of someone.” Now that he could think straight he could see that of course this man wasn't really Dennis-- he was bald and Anthony couldn't imagine Dennis ever getting rid of his hair. This face was familiar for a different reason: this was Jonathan Finn, accused of being the serial killer known as the Trapper. “My brother,” Anthony clarified. “My, uh, adopted brother.”

“Funny,” Jonathan mused. “You remind me of a judge. Speaking of brothers, I work with yours sometimes as an expert consultant. Personally knowing the Trapper has made me quite the hot commodity in true crime shows.”

“That sounds... interesting.” He was a little glad he never told Charlie about his own time in jail. “I'm glad you turned your life around,” Anthony added. “I, ah, know a little something about that.”

“I figured you might.” Jonathan leaned forward and added: “If you wanna get out of here, just let me or Daniela know.” He nodded to a woman helping set up the tables. Anthony gaped yet again as the face reminded him of his sister Tanya.

They were here... they were all here. The only one missing was his mother. But just as that thought came to him, someone turned on the TV so they could watch the parade. And the woman on the screen had Anne Clarke's face. Or at least reminded Anthony of his mother.

Anthony had to take a seat then. He knew his family was gone, but to see so many who reminded him of them, of people he'd known, made him feel strangely safe. It was like they were telling him they would always be with him. That it was okay to welcome the new family of Charlie and all the people that were part of Charlie's life.

He wasn't alone anymore.

[marmolady]

Twins

Main Pairings: Graleister

Summary: Aleister and Grace's happy family gets bigger. OR in which we meet Erin and Imogen Hall.

Word Count: 4265

Tagging: @saivilo, @edgydepressedchoicesthot, @sceptilemasterr, ​@mauvecatfic @rhemenway888

Thanks for reading! Comments and re-blogs make me EXTRA happy.

______________________

La Huerta, March 2028

“At least you’re sitting down for this,” he said. “I certainly wish I had been.”

It wouldn’t be an issue this time, he made certain, seating himself beside his sister before continuing.

Estela’s face clouded with concern, then dawning fear. “Grace… she’s--”

“Fit as a fiddle,” Aleister assured hastily. “And actually, taking it all in her stride. It’s just myself who’s….” He trailed off.

“Aleister?”

He winced. “Twins,” he said at last. “We’re having… twins. Two babies. Two babies! At the same time!”

Estela was, of course, familiar with the concept, but thought better of snarkily saying as such. Instead, she brought forth her honest reaction to the news, which was a simple; “Holy crap.”

“Holy crap indeed!” Aleister panted, worked up. “I had my doubts in myself before we had Reginald, but that was one child--”

“One child who would tell you you’re a pretty great dad.”

Aleister shook his head. “I swore I’d never let him be neglected. Above all else, I wanted to be a father he could rely on.”

“That’s not gonna change,” Estela said. “You make Reggie a priority, and you still will even if he has to share that top tier.”

“I’m not… a natural with babies. All those times I called you in a panic because Reggie wouldn’t settle….”

“Most people find it hard in the beginning. And you do a hell of a lot more than a lot of so-called ‘fathers’ do-- that’s before we even go there with the likes of… yeah….”

In his fear, Aleister latched on to that ‘the likes of’, for that was what he was made from. All he had to offer. “I’m bound to leave my poor boy in the cold. I could barely manage one infant, let alone two, and he’ll be given the scraps of what’s left of my time.” My love. “My genetic programming will out after all. I suppose he’d laugh.”

Estela took him by the shoulder and shook him hard, making him yelp in surprise.

“What the--?”

“Gilipollas! Get a goddamn hold of yourself!” she snapped. “You drop the ball here, it’s all on you. And you’re not fucking going to.”

“Oh? You have a crystal ball now, do you?”

“Better. I know you.”

“That’s it? How reassuring--”

Estela snapped across him. “The father you are wasn’t inherited by any genetics, he was grown in protest to how that bastard failed you. Don’t pity yourself into forgetting that!”

Aleister silently opened and closed his mouth like a fish gasping for air.

After a while, he managed to meekly get out; “I… I don’t suppose you’d let me.”

“Hell no.”

Aleister was still shaky, but managed to look his sister in the eye. So fierce, the way she looked at him… but that fierceness was on his side. The no-nonsense approach was helpful; a good balance to Grace’s gentle compassion. In some ways, Estela’s blunt words were easier to take to heart.

“I suppose…,” he muttered, “it’s not as if his genes seem to be very potent.”

He and Estela so rarely talked about the very thing that linked them. A man like that was better not remembered. But it was difficult for old wounds to totally heal when the cause of the damage was buried deep down. Aleister reminded himself of the truth fear had hidden from him. The truth, he knew, was that his own father wasn’t why he’d be a bad one; his own father was what had made him care so much that he wouldn’t be.

Estela grunted her agreement. “I’m all my mom,” she said, pride evident in her voice and in her eyes. “And you got the full DNA blast and you still don’t look a thing like him. It’s almost as if nature was determined there was enough of him in this world already.”

“It has,” Aleister admitted, “rather tickled me how little I resemble the man considering… considering my origin.”

Estela’s dark eyes sparkled, teasing. “Just as well. If I twigged who you were, I’d have kidnapped you and held you hostage. You had a lucky escape, hermano.”

“Well, I’m afraid the egg would have been on your face-- there would certainly have been no rescue mounted. I suspect the bastard would simply have gotten a laugh out of it.”

Yeah… that sounded about right. “Asshole.” She shook her head. She knew her brother; she knew he wasn’t anything like the man whose genes he carried. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to be anything like him as a father. She’d seen the way he twirled his little boy in his arms… the way he kissed his grazed knees and read to him each and every night. “Aleister-- what if I was to swipe a kid of yours?”

Aleister answered curtly, not missing a beat. “I would have you stuffed and mounted on my wall.”

Estela snorted with laughter. She’d like to see him try. “See,” she said, serious once more. “You’re nothing like him at all.”

That brought him up short.

“It’s strange,” he said quietly, “how reassuring it is to have it demonstrated that way. Your pep talks are rather darker than Grace’s or Taylor’s….”

“You knew that when you came to me. If it helps you, it helps you. But you should know, however you want to go about hearing it; you would be a good father. I know that’s coming from someone who never had one, but unfortunately that’s the only perspective I’ve got.”

“That may be true,” Aleister noted, “but I have great respect for the parent you are-- and the aunt. I’d happily take that perspective.”

It was Estela’s turn to be left flustered, a pink blush across her cheeks to her ears giving her away. She cleared her throat, averting her gaze. “That means… thanks, I…. That means a lot.” After taking a few moments to recover, she looked back to him. “It’s going to be okay.  Twins is nothing you can’t handle.”

_________________________

USA, December 2028

Her face still red from hours of shrieking, infant Imogen, only three weeks old, gave in at long, long last, her eyelids fluttering, then closing. Peace.

Hallelujah. Halle-bloody-lujah.

Aleister might have wept himself, but rather he looked up from his newly slumbering daughter to meet Grace’s weary eyes to share with her a moment of triumph.

And then, because life is cruel, a whimper came from the second crib. The parents held a breath together, and with it a silent prayer, but the whimper became a wail and Ernest was suddenly very awake.

His cries woke Immy, and the shrieking resumed-- if anything, redoubled.

Grace sank down into the side of the bed, her face in her hands. “I… I don’t know how long I can keep doing this.” She was shaking. “I think I’m about to lose it….”

Aleister gently lowered Immy into her crib, feeling an absolute monster as he placed her down while she screamed and cried, then walked over to put his arms around Grace.

“Darling, come downstairs,” he urged, and he kissed her head. “I’ll make you a cup of tea, and we’ll take ten minutes.”

Ten minutes to pull themselves together so they could survive however many more hours the twins kept them going.

Grace looked up, pained, guilt-stricken, and Iris floated over, wanting to reassure.

“Grace, dear, the ten minutes it takes for the two of you to refresh and be okay will give your children so much more than what you can offer if you’re burnt out to nothing.”

Once his wife was settled in the comfiest armchair with a steaming cup of tea, Aleister returned to the kitchen to retrieve his own brew, only to be met by his eldest son, up many hours past his bedtime. Six-year-old Reggie was up in his pyjamas, his small, thin face streaked with tears, his eyes puffy.

“I can’t sleep…,” the small boy sniffed, and then fresh tears began to flow. “The babies are… are too loud. Daddy, why are they so sad?”

Forgetting all about his tea, Aleister knelt down and swept his son into his arms.

“Oh, Reggie, I’m so sorry they’ve kept you awake… come here, my darling boy. I promise; it’s going to be all right….”

“Daddy,” Reggie sobbed, “I just want to sleep! Daddy, I just want to sleep! Why won’t they stop?”

His little boy in distress damn near ripped Aleister’s heart out. At the end of his own tether with the incessant screaming, he’d nonetheless call upon reserves he didn’t know he had to comfort his beloved Reginald. He could do little but hold him, to let him know he was heard, and so very, very loved.

As Reggie hiccoughed in his arms, Aleister had to admit that they needed help. It hurt his pride, but logically, he told himself, he and Grace were only two people, and three crying children needed more than they could physically give. It was simple mathematics. There was no shame in knowing when you’d reached your limit; it was time to call in the cavalry.

An hour had passed, and there seemed to be no let up in the twins’ crying. Down in the basement, though, barely a peep could be heard. It was almost unnerving, but Aleister knew immediately from the change in Reggie’s demeanor that it had been the right call.

“There you go, Reginald,” he said, pulling back the comforter to invite the child into the freshly-made up camp bed that his aunts had brought over, “peace at last.”

Grace, still tense, kissed her son’s cheek as he snuggled in next to her. Doubt plagued her. How could she call herself a mother when she hid away from her crying babies? But, she told herself resolutely, it was best for her children that she be okay. Tonight-- or rather, this morning by this point-- her being okay looked like leaving Twins Duty to their Auntie Taylor and Tia Estela. She was close enough to come rushing if need be… but she was also there for Reggie when he needed just a bit of comfort and quiet.

Five-year-old Liv tumbled around at the end of the inflatable mattress, giggling as she toppled repeatedly over the edge.

“Liv, honey,” Grace said gently, “we’re going to need you to settle down just a little bit, okay? Your mommies told you it’s sleep-time, yeah?”

Liv crawled back up the bed and crashed down right up against her older cousin. “My mama and my mama said no playing, just sleeping.”

Aleister, yawning, climbed into bed so that the children were sandwiched between himself and Grace. Taylor and Estela’s rescue attempt would only succeed if their own little one gave in to sleep. “That’s right, I’m afraid,” he told her. “You and Reggie will have so much more fun together if you’re well-rested first.”

At that, Reggie opened his eyes. “Livia can stay and play in the morning?”

“Of course, my sweetheart. Now close your eyes.”

Reggie did so, with a tiny sigh of relief, contentment even. Then he mumbled out his usual goodnights, with a few extras, for this night was a little different. “Night-night, Daddy. Night-night, Mommy. Night-night, Immy-and-Ernie. Night-night, Auntie Taylor and Tia Estela. Night-night, silly Liv.”

“Goodniiiiight,” Liv sang, then she too closed her eyes.

When Aleister looked up from the children, Grace had already nodded off. His heart swelled with affection.

Bless her, her head must have barely grazed the pillow. Reggie won’t be far behind.

“Sleep tight,” he whispered.

_________________________

La Huerta, June 2031

The water of The New Celestial’s pool shimmered with sunlight, and welcomed back old friends for what had become the annual reunion. For the two littlest, the two-and-a-half-year-olds tentatively testing out their brand new water-wings, the big poolside gathering was something rather novel.

Imogen was far and away the bolder of the two. While Ernest was shy, withdrawing to the safety of his mother or father when faced with the large group, Immy was simply indifferent. She was a thinker, taking in everything all around her, and all these people she knew were familiar-- even if the didn’t usually appear all at once. She just got on with her explorations of the world, paying little heed to most of the people around her… except for the other kids, and except for Craig and Zahra. From when she was a tiny, tiny tot, Immy had been absolutely fascinated by the pair she’d quickly deemed to be the funniest of the big adults. Aleister noted the growing attachment as rather ominous. Heaven forbid what influence the likes of those two might have on his little daughter….

Ernest was a cuddler. When overwhelmed with the world, he cuddled Grace or Aleister, or his Auntie Taylor or Tia Estela whom he saw practically every day. When he was feeling brave, however, he’d cuddle just about anyone. He’d learned very quickly that Raj was a first-class cuddler himself, and as Ernie started coming out of his shell, on this, the first morning of the reunion, it was Raj to whom he was drawn.

“Heeey, li’l dude!” Raj cooed, opening his arms wide as the toddler paddled towards him. “Come on over here!”

Sitting in the shallow end, always ready to reach out and grab either of the twins if need be, Aleister gave Raj a stony look that was only half playful. “If you even think of pulling one of your world famous belly-flops while the twins are in the pool….”

Raj just laughed. “Al, my brosky, we’ve gotten this far without drowning any dudelings, not about to start now!” And he floated back on his back, and placed a beaming Ernie onto his vast stomach. “Look at you now! Best seat in the house.”

Her father’s momentary distraction was all Immy needed to get into mischief.

“Oh, no you don’t….” Aleister hastily reached back to his other side, and retrieved his little daughter’s skinny little arm from the pool’s filter.

“No! No!”

From his vantage point, Ernie chortled merrily. No one knew how to make him laugh quite like his sister.

Aleister found it all rather less amusing, especially as, for someone so small, Immy certainly knew how to kick up a large fuss.

“You-- can’t-- put your-- hand in-- there---”

“No! No!”

 At that moment, Grace arrived at the pool with Michelle, a pregnant Quinn, and four-year-old Isla. And thus Aleister was spared the tantrum that had so surely been brewing.

“Mommy!”

“Are you checking the filter still works?” Grace laughed, and she took Immy upon her knee and bounced her there.

Saved. Aleister strategically positioned his lithe body in front of the opening for the filter, just to be safe. He knew better by now than to underestimate his daughter’s stubbornness when she was focused on something. That she was utterly fascinated by how things worked would surely set them up for lots of interesting conversations when she was older, but for now, that curiosity meant that she’d stick her fingers into just about anything.

Thankfully, in this instance, Immy’s big friend Isla was fun enough that the pool filter was forgotten… at least for the time being.

Grace floated over, wrapping her arms around Aleister’s neck and bobbing closer in the water. She chuckled gently at his serious expression, and kissed his cheek. “You’re allowed to relax now and then, honey.”

Aleister felt his face flushing pink. Even after all this time, it never took much when Grace was around. “Darling, you do recall that we have two toddlers?”

“I do.” She kissed him once more. “And we’re doing just fine.”

Of course, he doubted it. He was human after all, and a human who’d grown up with emotional abuse and the constant message that nothing he could do was enough. But he and Grace had made a pact; he’d recognise and acknowledge out loud the good in her that she couldn’t see, and he’d do the same for him. And they’d never challenge that such good was there. Grace said they were doing just fine, and so… they were doing just fine.

Gazing across the pool to where Ernie was lounging upon Raj’s front as he floated there-- looking for all the world like Mowgli and Baloo in The Jungle Book--, and to where Immy was squealing with mirth as Isla bounced her up and down, making progressively large splashes, Aleister had to concede that Grace did have a point.

Yes, the twins were a challenge. But they were totally surrounded by love and always would be. So, he supposed, they weren’t doing ‘just fine’. They were doing stupendously.

UK, May 2028

Grace waited outside the exhibition hall, Reggie’s little hand in hers, while Aleister retrieved their coats. Tears pricked her eyes.

She hadn’t really expected her mother to show. Blaire Hall’s acceptance of the invitation had been a long time ago-- before the email that told her that Grace was now expecting twins. There had been no reply. Grace was almost grateful for that; after the judgement her mother had inflicted on her upon her first pregnancy, she’d dreaded what cruel words would come this time. The simple text message she’d received that very afternoon had said enough anyway.

‘I can’t make it, Grace. Do well, dear.’

That had been it. A chance to build bridges before Grace’s little family grew and drifted further away, and it had, as she had always been, rejected. Grace had little doubt that it was because of the pregnancy.

Protectively, she placed a hand on her belly. Her mother didn’t deserve to know her grandchildren. She was out of chances.

“I thought Granny was going to come and see your pretty pictures?” Reggie asked innocently, tugging at his mother’s hand. “It’s not nice that she changed her mind when it’s your special day.”

Grace had to take a deep, shaky breath before answering. “I know, sugar. She just decided other things were more important.

“I wish Granny Blaire was the dead grandma and Grandma Imogen was the alive grandma…,” Reggie muttered, looking at his feet.

Oof. But how could she blame him? She’d been lying if she hadn’t had that fleeting forbidden thought herself.

Grace knelt down, and tenderly held her son’s shoulder. “It does seem unfair that some really kind people can’t be with us physically.”

Reggie nodded stiffly.

“But,” she said, “what’s really important is that you appreciate the people in your life, how you have them. We are so, so lucky to have Grandma Imogen. Even if it’s not in exactly the way we most want.”

“Why doesn’t Granny Blaire love us? She’s not a very nice mom.”

How to answer that?

Grace looked her young son in the eye, her heart overflowing. “Oh, hon. I promise you it’s nothing we’ve done wrong, and especially not you. Some people… some people just find love a bit tricky. Maybe they never got shown how to do it when they were growing up, or maybe it’s just not what they’re good at.” She kissed his forehead. “Even though it feels like it sometimes, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, or me, or Daddy, or the twins. Somewhere along the line, Granny Blaire just got stuck not knowing how to love very well.”

“She must be very sad.”

“I think she must be. She misses out on so many things-- like feeling the babies kick, and seeing the beautiful pictures you draw for us, and holding hands when we walk along the beach. I wish my mom could know how special those things are.”

Reggie hugged his mom tight, something that was getting trickier now that she had a fast-growing baby bump. In some ways it made hugs even better, though-- now, Reggie could hug his mom and his baby brother and sister all at once.

“I’m really happy we can do all those things with Grandma, even though she’s different from other grandmas. Some kids don’t get to play with their dead grandmas at all!”

Oh, sweet child.

“You know,” Grace said, “Daddy suggested we could name the girl baby after your special grandma.”

“Really? Baby Imogen and Grandma Imogen?”

“Yes, really! I wasn’t sure, but the more I think about it, the more I think the name is just perfect.”

“Because we love Grandma, and also we love the girl baby?”

Grace squeezed her son. “That is exactly right!”

They had to celebrate what they had, because what they had was everything.

Guess that’s one baby named! One down, one to go….

________________________

USA, January 2033

Ernie shuffled around her name cards; each had written on it a name beginning with ‘E’-- a shortlist her parents had given her to choose from. Her new name. A name for a girl. She traced a finger along the shape of the letters of the one she’d brought to the front of her stash… ‘E’… ‘A’… ‘R’… ‘T’… ‘H’… ‘A’. That one, Ernie knew, was ‘Eartha’. She had ‘Eartha’ and ‘Eliza’ and ‘Emma’ and ‘Emily’. And ‘Eleanor’  and ‘Evangeline’, which she’d already decided were too long and hard to read. She was only four after all.

She moved ‘Eartha’ to the back of the pile and smiled a little when she recognised the shapes that made up the name that she liked to look at again and again. ‘E’… ‘R’… ‘I’… ‘N’.

It was almost ‘E’… ‘R’… ‘N’… ‘I’… ‘E’. Just one letter missing, and two swapped around. Erin, Erin, Erin.

Her mommy told her that ‘Erin’ was Quinn’s middle name. That, Ernie thought, was pretty special. Grown-ups could be a bit scary… but Quinn was always kind and smiling, and never scary at all. When the family visited Quinn and Michelle’s place a few months prior, Quinn had put a stool in the kitchen so Ernie could see up on the counter when she was baking. Ernie got flour on her face, and cake mix between her fingers, and even icing in her hair. Quinn had laughed with her, and dabbed icing on her own nose. Ernie already knew that her new middle name would be ‘Grace’ because she wanted to share with her mommy. How lovely, she was beginning to see, it would be to share a name with Quinn, who she also loved.

Ernie got to her feet and trotted to the kitchen, her special name cards in hand.

“Daddy, can you say this one?”

Aleister looked up from the dishes, and dried off his hands. “That one, darling? That’s ‘Erin’.”

“Can you say it in big, so I can hear it?”

“Say it in…? Oh, I see! If you chose that one, your full name would be ‘Erin Grace Hall’.

Ernie mumbled it after him, trying out the feel of it in full.

“You rather like that one, don’t you?” Aleister gently prodded. His little Ernie was such a quiet, self-contained little soul, it could be a challenge to know where her head was at. Choosing a new name could well feel very daunting, but as far as he could tell, Ernie was rather enjoying pondering on it.

“It sounds like a name for a girl,” said Ernie. “Can we… can we tell Mommy ‘that one’? I think ‘Erin’ is my name.”

“I think Erin sounds like a name for a very special girl. It suits you very well. Let’s go and find Mommy, shall we?”

Ernie slipped her little hand into Aleister’s big one and looked up at him with big, sparkling eyes. “Yes please, Daddy.”

In his little girl’s eyes, Aleister knew, it all had led to this. She, after all, had always known who she was; it had just taken a little while for the message to come across. To himself and Grace anyway. Immy had always known that she had a twin sister, not a brother, and had referred to Ernie as such more often than not. They’d always picked out the same clothes, played the same games. Ernie had been free to enjoy dresses and bows without anyone looking too far into it, but from the first day she uttered ‘I’m a girl’, she’d been heard.

“Moooommmy!” Ernie called down the hallway as she dragged her father by the hand. “Mommy, I know my name now!”

She took Aleister to the office, where Grace was at the computer, poring over her latest fractal art project.

 Grace turned in her chair, all smiles, and putting work aside for her little girl. Moments like these, the moments of connection she’d never had with her own mother, were her priority above all else. The look on Ernie’s face said it all-- this was a big one.

“You’ve chosen?” Grace exclaimed. “Oh, wow! That is exciting!”

Ernie stood up tall, emitting a sense of confidence so rare in her. “I am… E-Erin.” She did a little jig. “Erin-Grace-Hall! That is me now, Mommy. Erin is me.”

Grace opened her arms and enveloped Erin in the tightest, proudest of hugs, and Aleister put his long arms around them both.

“My sweetpea,” he said, “’Erin’ really is you. And I’m really happy for you, sugar.”

__________________________

La Huerta, December 2033

“I swear Immy got the evil psychopath gene. Should probably feel lucky none of the rest of us caught it, but she is definitely going to be an evil genius when she grows up.”

Grace couldn’t believe she’d heard those words out of her son’s mouth, a flippant comment to his cousin. She thanked their lucky stars it was she who’d overheard the exchange rather than Aleister… oh, he’d have been crushed to hear one of his precious children talked about in that way. Well, if she was honest to herself, Grace was too. A comparison between a monster of a human being and her precocious, aloof and admittedly mischievous five-year-old was unfair, and to her mind, cruel. Clearly, Reggie knew as much, going by the look on his face when his mother walked into the room where he and Liv had been hanging out over their Literacy homework.

The difference between the two children’s attitudes towards their late grandfather was startling. To Reggie, Rourke was clearly a boogeyman figure; a face to the vague concept of greed and plain evil. He could joke because he was sheltered, the threat represented no more pressing than any other fairy-tale villain. Grace supposed it was due to her and Aleister making a point of never giving that disgusting excuse for a human being any power in how they spoke about him. Having heard Reggie’s comments, she wondered if it was time to sit him down and help him truly understand the atrocities committed and attempted, and how they-- especially Aleister and Estela-- were affected by them to this day.

For young Liv, it was different. It was why even before having a long talk with her son, Grace’s first instinct was to care for her niece. To Liv, Rourke was a real and pressing threat even long gone as he was. A threat that had taken from her a grandmother, and ruthlessly tried to take both of her mothers as well. Rourke had done so much harm to Liv’s mom, and she’d grown up well aware of the fact. The poor kid had been so uncomfortable with Reggie’s flippant remarks about Immy’s nature that she withdrew from him completely, something Grace knew was unheard of.

Even after the kids were dealt with, Reggie’s words echoed around Grace’s brain. She couldn’t deny that it had crossed her mind… fears that whatever had been so deeply wrong with Rourke might carry on in some way through those who came after him. But it was a thought that she, and Aleister as well, had always brushed aside. The suggestion was absurd, and it brought out in her an even fiercer protectiveness of her children. And so, all she wanted now was to be with her little Imogen.

Immy was exactly where Grace expected to find her, crouched on the rug and putting together yet another attempt at a Rube Goldberg machine. Since receiving ‘Mouse Trap’ for her birthday a month prior, the concept had been the object of the little girl’s fascination.  Again and again, she’d put it together and take it apart again, studying how all the mechanisms worked together and making up her own combinations. Now, she’d moved on to trying to put together a series of chain reactions from her own imagination.

Her heart swelling with affection, Grace knelt down to her daughter. “How’s it going, sugar?”

Leaning back to sit on her bottom, Immy frowned. “You can’t watch it go yet, Mommy. It doesn’t work.”

“Oh?  If you want to show me later, I’d like to see what you’ve been so busy with, but if not, that’s all right too. You’ve been working so hard.”

A frustrated Immy took both arms and pulled down all the dominoes, and paper cups, and spoons, and rubber bands, and funnels, and marbles, in one fell swoop.

“Honey!”

“Why can’t I work it out?” the little girl cried. “Nothing does what I want, and I try all different things!”

Grace saw tears forming in her daughter’s dark eyes. Had Reggie said something to her jokingly? She held out her arms, and Immy took shelter there.

“Do you know what, darling? When you start feeling like that, usually it means it’s time for you to take a good break.”

“But if I don’t keep trying, I’ll never get it right! Why’m I not smart enough?”

That was frighteningly familiar. Grace wasn’t seeing Rourke-- she was seeing herself. How was Immy only five and already putting such high expectations on herself?

“Oh, baby,” she assured. “You are plenty smart enough.” She cupped Immy’s chin and looked into her eyes. “You are everything enough. You just get so focused on what you want to do that sometimes you forget that the most important thing is having fun. Sometimes, your brain can get all clogged up with all the thoughts you’ve got in there. If you take some time out, you might find the best ideas come to you then.”

Immy was quiet for a minute, mulling it over. Then she blurted out: “I’m good-person smart and not bad-person smart like Daddy’s daddy?”

It was confirmation of what Grace feared-- she’d really need to have a very serious talk with Reggie. She held Immy tighter. “You are wonderful-good-person smart, Imogen Hall. Anyone who says otherwise is just being silly and unkind.”

Immy sniffed, the tiniest flash of guilt crossing her face. “I did do a really clever chain reaction where a water balloon would fall on Reggie’s head if he opened his cupboard.”

“That is a little bit cheeky, I’ll admit.”

“But it made Erin laugh, which is why I thought it was a good-genius prank, not an evil-genius prank.”

Grace couldn’t help but laugh at the logic. She kissed her daughter’s head. “You know, pranks are only really funny if the person on the receiving end thinks so too.”

“I… think Daddy said that too before. I’ll tell Reggie I’m sorry for making him wet with chocolate milk.”

So that was where that whole bottle had got to. “How about we stick to water-based cheekiness next time as well?” She sighed. “You are such a pickle, young lady!”

And she wouldn’t change her for anything.

________________________

San Trobida, May 2036

Immy raced ahead, shaking what felt like the entire structure as she stomped. There was no fear in her-- certainly not of heights.

Poor Grace was not so fortunate. She’d faced her fears many times over by now, but she really was never going to get a head for heights. The wooden stairs that spiraled round and around the towering tree trunk into the canopy were an obstacle in themselves, and that was before she was to find herself crossing the rope bridge between the trees-- some hundred feet above the forest floor.

“You can do it, Mommy,” said seven-year-old Erin sweetly, holding out her hand from two steps above. “It’s not so bad!”

Higher up, thirteen-year-old Reggie was helping is father in trying to wrangle Immy. “You know all that shaking of the stairs isn’t making poor Mom’s jelly legs feel any better--”

“Oh,” said Immy, and she stopped abruptly. “Sorry, Mom.” She descended back down, making an effort not to stamp her feet so much. “Mom, I thought you’ve done lots of high up stuff? It’s high up when we go to Elyys’tel-- way higher than these trees.”

“I’m a bit more used to Elyys’tel, Immy,” Grace explained. “A lot of practice helps it become a little less scary. I’m sure after a few more tries I’ll be just as comfortable climbing this.”

As it happened, Elyys’tel had provided a great deal of inspiration for the canopy walk that had been erected in Parque Nacional Lago Zafira, San Trobida’s newest protected wilderness area. With the attraction still being something of a novelty, it was often busy with visitors, but by a stroke of luck the family had the place to themselves.

“See, girls,” Grace said, distracting herself by engaging her young twins, “right now we’re climbing through the understory layer-- do you know what that is?”

“I know that, Mom!” replied Erin eagerly. “It’s the bit underneath all the bushy bits of the big trees. There’s like smaller trees all spaced out.”

“And do you know what’s next?”

Immy scoffed. “Uh, yeah! We’re climbing up to a ‘canopy walk’. Gotta be the canopy up there!”

She was a little smart aleck that one, much, Grace often thought, like her older brother Reggie. It was small wonder they often butted heads.

“I bet,” Erin said, reaching for her father’s hand as she and Grace caught up, “when we get there, Daddy’s gonna be even taller than the canopy.”

“Daddy’s the emergent layer!” Immy giggled.

Aleister raised an eyebrow. “I’ll assume that’s complimentary, shall I?”

Grace couldn’t help but smile-- she was always helpless in the face of Immy’s ‘nerd humour’. They spent a lot of time out in nature together as a family, and she and Aleister always tried to throw in a bit of science education where they could. A part of her-- the insecure part that had been fed continuously through her early years-- nagged that she was simply bothering her children by trying to share her interests, but the truth was that some things were just all of theirs. The kids’ individual interests were lovingly nurtured, but as a family, they just plain enjoyed science.

“I told you, Mom!” Erin said brightly as the four of them at last reached the platforms high in the trees. “You can climb all the way up, no problems.”

“I’ve no doubt your cheering me on helped wonders, sweetheart.”

The next hurdle was the long bridge spanning the space between two of the tallest trees in the forest.

“Don’t worry, Reggie,” Erin was saying, patting his arm. “It’s just like the bridge at Elyys’tel!”

The older child grumbled, brushing her away. “I’m not--- Mom’s scared of heights, not me! I’m just thinking about Livi, that’s all. Sucks that she’s out of action… she really loves it up here.”

“I’ll take some photos for her!” Immy suggested, holding out her father’s phone over the side of the bridge and aiming it at the most sprawling view of the surrounding forest.

Immediately, Reggie hid his face in his collar. “Not with my face in it you’re bloody not!”

Erin put her arms around his middle and hugged him. “I’m sorry you’re sad,” she said. “We should all come back with Livi when she’s feeling better.”

“We will, Reggie,” Aleister said, “I promise. It might not be until we’re back from La Huerta, but I promise we’ll all come back up here together.

Reggie was still quiet, but seemed content enough to keep going across the bridge, looking out over the park and finding peace in nature. Immy remained a few steps ahead, always needing to one-up her big brother. But Erin stayed close, offering her mom a hand to hold.

“You can keep going, sweetheart,” Grace said, “Daddy’s taking good care of me, don’t you worry!”

Truth be told, seeing her precious children up so high turned her stomach far more than her being up there herself ever came close to, but she kept that smile plastered on. Her phobias were her problems, not theirs. After all, Aleister was always there to hold her hand when the nerves got too much. Slowly, slowly, they made their way to the next tree.

“Whoops,” said Immy. There was a small thud down below.

“Do my ears deceive me, or did the young lady taking photos with my new phone just say ‘whoops’?”

“Sorry, Dad, I dropped it….”

Aleister sighed, but waved his hand, dismissing her need to worry. “No matter, darling…. I didn’t get one of those tough cases for no reason. We’ll just have to let Tia Estela know to ring your mother’s phone if Liv needs us at the hospital before we-- sorry, who are we fooling?-- if we find mine.”

“We’ll find it!” Erin cried. “We can’t litter in the forest!”

Immy, of course, had an answer for everything. “Grandma will find it. There’s no one else here-- she should come out anyway!”

“Imogen,” Aleister said, “you know how important it is that we’re careful.”

“But we’re up high in the trees! No one will see her!”

Grace and Aleister exchanged a look. It was true that they were about as secluded as they could get. Secrecy, though, was important. Should Iris be discovered by a stranger, attention would be inevitable, and Aleister had worked hard to minimise any connection the world had between himself and his father-- for his sake and his family’s. Like the truth about La Huerta, who and what Iris was needed to remain secret.

“I bet Grandma would really like to see the big park you protected,” Erin said.

Aleister looked at his girls, then to Reggie, whose expression was no longer etched with sad concern but a hopeful twinkle, and he couldn’t help a reluctant smile. “I hope you know we can’t make a habit of this.” He opened the flap of his backpack, allowing the little metallic orb to fly free. “Mother, if you want to scan the area first, do you fancy joining us?”

And with that, the family outing was even better.

________________________

USA, November 2028

The little boy was handed to Aleister first, swaddled securely in a towel.

“He-he’s here, Grace,” he stammered. “Fine and healthy, and completely marvellous….”

Baby Ernest was frowning, no doubt bewildered by what to him must have been an unexpected entrance to this cold, strange world. Immediately, Aleister picked up on similarities with their dearest Reginald-- the texture of his hair, though Ernest perhaps had a little less, the steel blue eyes. Ernie’s skin was darker, and his cheeks chubbier even for being born a few weeks earlier… but he was Reggie’s brother all right.

With all the care as if the child were made of the finest glass, Aleister angled the little baby down to Grace, bringing him to her face so she could snuggle and kiss him. She wept, too overwhelmed to say even a word.

Then, the next baby was along; their little girl, Imogen. She was bigger than her brother, with a shock of dark hair, and was already shouting at the world.

Aleister chuckled through his tears. “Someone’s indignant at being plucked from her comfortable bed….” But to hear the strength that was so present in that tiny girl made him want to whoop with joy. Twins were always higher risk, but their darling babies were strong and well.

As Grace was sewn back up and monitored, the midwife helped the pair of them settle with the twins for their early skin-to-skin contact. Sitting upon the hard hospital chair by his wife’s side, Aleister soon had his tiny new daughter snuggled up on his chest.

“You just wait, little one. Wait until your Grandma finds out who you’re named after.”

Grace was beaming, and seemingly incapable of looking down at either one of her twins for more than a few seconds for the desperate need to gaze adoringly at the other. “She’s definitely an Immy, isn’t she?”

“It rather suits her. And I think you’re quite right; he’s ‘Ernest’.”

“Ernie and Immy….” Grace whispered the names again and again, and kissed Ernie’s exquisitely soft little forehead.

She was on top of the world, thoughts of people who’d let her down didn’t even reach her-- she was just there. There with her babies, with her love.

“Reggie’s going to love them so much….”

Somehow, the fears were gone. Vanished. This was right-- this was their family as it was meant to be. Aleister cradled his fragile little daughter and knew he would move mountains for her and for all of them. The wounds in his heart and Grace’s were being patched up by the simple presence of Ernest and Imogen, as they had been by Reginald before.

They were complete.

[darling-i-read-it]

Years Ago

Erin Greene x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: homophobia

Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy lovely <3 Kate Siegel my beloved

Requested: by anon, Is it cool if I can request in a erin greene x fem! Reader where maybe r comes back home after all these years and she had a crush on erin but never did anything because of her and Riley (they used to be all good friends) but r left cause of her feelings for erin and they see each other again and Erin actually liked y/n and they get together again and re connect and share a first kiss? Hope that's cool so like childhood friends to lovers lmao

Summary: the request

Genre: fluff

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

You never thought you would make it off the damn island. When you were a kid you didn’t think you wanted to. You didn’t hate it. In fact you had liked your life. You had a decent family, a good group of friends, and a nice home.

You had Erin. That would be enough to last a lifetime.

You’ll never forget the day you realized you were in love with her. She was your best friend, one of the only people to ever really listen to you. You, in return, would let her stay at your house when she needed to, fed her, helped her when she needed it. The day you realized you were in love with her the two of you and Riley Flynn were swimming in the water, making bets on who was gonna tap out soon from the cold. She was laughing, her black curly hair tilted back and your heart swelled.

It was a scary moment. The church hadn’t exactly thought that girls loving girls was a good thing. You weren’t sure if she would hate you, if everyone on the island would hate you.

That was when you made your plans to leave. There was a whole world outside of your little corner and people out there had to accept you. Or at least you would have a better shot.

Because it was that day on the beach when you realized Riley Flynn was in love with her too. How could he not be? She was perfect. She was smart and snarky and she had a way of talking that seemed so raspy but familiar. You would never not admire her.

But you had to leave her. She couldn’t know what you were, just in case.

So you left.

===

You were surprised to find yourself back on the boat to the island that afternoon. You looked out at the water, the floating rock coming into view over the water. The wind whipped at your hair, causing the side of your face to go cold. You checked your phone. It was about noon.

“What on Earth are you doing here?”

You recognized that voice. You would probably recognize it anywhere. It had matured a bit, but not by that much. You turned around and met the eyes of Erin Greene, all grown up. Her face had softened with age and there were slight wrinkles around her knowing eyes. But her hair was the exact same.

“Erin?” you asked, laughing. You brushed your hair out of your face as it came at you in the wind and moved off the side of the railing. “I thought you left the island years ago?” “I did,” she said, arms crossed. “It’s freezing out here, why don’t you come back inside.”

“I have to agree with you there. Come come, we have to catch up!”

You walked inside the ferry boat and sat down at one of the tables across from each other. She had a growing baby bump you noticed after taking a longer look at her. You had been so caught up with her face you hadn’t even noticed.

“What are you doing back here?” she asked. “I thought you swore to stay away.”

“I swore that at 16. No one should believe anything I say at 16,” you said, laughing gently. “What about you? What made you decide to come back?” She shrugged, putting her hands up on the table.

“Just wanted to raise my little one where I was raised.”

“You thought it was that good of an experience?” you asked snarkily. She shrugged.

“We turned out alright, didn’t we?”

“Debatable. It looks like we’re crawling right back to where we started,” you admitted. She smiled, her lips thin.

“Why are you coming back?” “I don’t know. I have a nice job out on the mainland, I guess I just wanted a break from it. See if everythings still there, who lived and who didn’t. Maybe the church will still be standing.”

“The church will be the last thing standing,” she said, laughing. You nodded. There was a slight pause. “Do you have a place to stay?” ===

Erin’s old house was almost exactly the same. The same furniture and walls. The only thing that was different was the feel. The absence of her mother left an empty feeling but it was a pure one. Erin had already almost taken up that feeling herself.

She made you a cup of hot cocoa and handed it to you.

“Can I ask you something?” she asked, sitting beside you.

“Only if I can ask you something.”

“Why did you leave? I know why I left and why Riley left but...I never could figure out why you left.” She had a puzzled serene look on her face.

“Honestly?”

“Yeah.”

“I had a crush on you.” It felt like a weight was off your shoulders just saying it. You had been holding it in your chest for so long that letting her know seemed like a much bigger thing than this. But there it was. Just six little words.

You couldn’t meet her eyes at first but when you did you were startled with what you saw. She was smiling.

“I had a crush on you too.” Your eyes went wide. With every way you saw this conversation going, this was never a possibility. You never thought she would like you back. You had convinced yourself of it.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I mean I told my mom I liked Riley but really it was all you.”

“I thought you would hate me!” you said, the relief filling your voice. She shook her head. It must have been relieving for her too.

“Never!” She reached across the table. “I could never hate you. My mom hated you but I’m pretty sure that was just because she could sense how much we liked each other. You really didn’t know?” You shook your head. “Come on, no girls that were just friends skinny dipped together.” You scoffed.

“I’m pretty sure friends do that all the time.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Erin had a sneaky smile on her face. You rolled your eyes and leaned back in your chair.

“Did you skinny dip with your baby's dad?”

“Not once. That’s just proof,” she said laughing. “He was awful. I’m glad I got to get away when I did. I saw myself from above one day with that stick in my hand telling me I was pregnant and I needed to get out. Here we are.” You sipped your hot cocoa.

“You’re strong Erin. You’re the strongest of us.” “Eh.” She stood up to bring her dishes to the sink and you got up to follow her.

“Let me wash that,” you said.

“I’m not incapable,” she explained. You rolled your eyes and put your hands on hers over the dish. She looked over at you and the world seemed to still. You had been this close before but it had been years.

She kissed you.

You had been imagining that kiss for years and it was as perfect as you thought it would be. Gentle, kind, slow, passionate. A long time coming.

You pulled away slowly.

“We should’ve done that years ago,” she whispered.

“You’re right.”

[daydreamingatnight209]

Okay so this was a passion project that I really wanted to write, I probably won’t do another and I still don’t feel comfortable writing smut for other people so please do not request it!

Minors please do not read or engage with this post as it is for 18+ only!

Also a big thank you to @erin-bo-berin for helping and encouraging me to continue this project!

Feedback is always welcome! ✨💕

“Alpha-Male Bullshit”

Part 1

Azriel x Female Reader - Part 1

Fandom - ACOTAR

Warnings - Violence, sexual themes, 18+ only, minor spoilers for ACOSF, angst and fluff! 💞☁️

———————————————————————

Lucien Vanserra was a terrible flirt; not because he wasn’t good at it, but because he was constantly flirting with me.

In the beginning I went along with it; I was bored and felt lonely. Cassian had Nesta, everyone knew Rhys had Feyre and Nyx their sweet baby boy, Elain kept busy with her garden and I barely saw our spymaster.

I split my time between training and reading in my chambers.

So, what harm could a bit of flirty banter do between friends?

I didn’t think it would do anything, but Lucien is certainly consistent.

I had a rare free day and found myself in a quiet corner of the library ran by the High Priestess ,Clotho.

It was one of my favourite places to be. The noise in my head stopped, all the pressure and responsibility’s for the court just faded away. I am transported to a land far away.

I was halfway through a steamy romance that Nesta had given me a couple of days ago. We stayed up most nights talking about books and how Cassian had made it his mission to try each technique in the book for Nesta’s pleasure. It wasn’t as if he didn’t know what he was doing, Nesta made that very clear but it was certainly good fun. It made me laugh but it also flushed my body with an incredible sadness. These books were about as close of a love life that I had.

I was lost in my head and the fictional visions that I created with the words on the page when I heard a familiar voice. It made me jump slightly and I heard his deep laugh.

“I knew Nesta loved smut, but I didn’t think your innocent little mind liked it...but then again, I’m sure that pretty little mouth isn’t all that innocent is it?”

I resist the urge to roll my eyes and turn to face him.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, my dear”

I smirk and snap my book back open.

“Are you hoping to live out some of those scenes in those books of Nesta’s like she now is?”

I don’t give him the satisfaction of an answer. A moment passed and I feel his breath on my neck.

“If so, you know where to find me.” He whispers in my ear, before pressing a nimble kiss on my neck and spinning on his heel to walk away.

I released a breath I didn’t even know I was holding and groaned in frustration.

Placing my bookmark back in between the pages, I rose from the chair and left the comforting walls of the library, waving goodbye to the passing priestesses.

I wander aimlessly around the property, taking in the cool atmosphere. The training ring was empty, or so I thought. As I approached it, I spotted a familiar stature. His shadows swirling around his figure as he went through his training exercises.

I sat on the rocks beside the ring as he comes to a stand-still.

“Are you okay Y/N?” He asks softly.

I smile and rub my eyes.

“Yes, I’m just hiding from Lucien. He’s definitely spending way too much time with Rhys and Cassian. He sounds exactly like them.

But , maybe flirting with him could be fun. No one else pays much attention around here to me anyway”

Wherever Azriel goes in his head, my remark seemed to snap him away from his flyaway thoughts.

His eyes blazed and he took a warrior stance. He chest puffed and looked ready to fly at a moments notice.

“Do you need me to have a word with him?”

I couldn’t help but giggle at his overprotective response.

“No Az, it’s okay. I don’t think he fancies losing his other eye. Thank you anyway”

He just nods and returns back to his exercises.

I take this as my cue to leave.

————————————

Nesta finds me in my room later that evening and informs me that Rhys has planned a family dinner and I am required to attend.

She then prances off to her own chambers.

I rummage through my closet and pick out a gown that had fallen down the back.

It was a deep blue, that sparkled in the correct light. It plunged, exposing more of my breasts than usual and the slit started just passed my thigh, with the material of the dress hugging my body tightly.

Mor had gifted it to me last winter solstice but I hadn’t had a chance to wear it yet. No time like the present, I suppose.

I didn’t have time to style my hair dramatically, so I let my long light brown curls fall loosely down my back.

I fiddled around to find a matching bag and heels before slowly descending down the glass staircase.

All eyes were on me as I entered the dining room. The room was eerily silent.

Panic slowly begins to envelope me.

“It’s not too much is it?” I squeak.

Lucien stands and almost knocks down his chair.

“Absolutely not! My god Y/N I thought the wine would be what loosened my tongue tonight, but it looks like that dress is what’s gonna do it instead.

Unbeknown to me, Azriel’s shadows swamped around, doing their best to keep my modesty protected from Lucien’s lewd comments.

“All bark, no bite Lucien. What a shame” I shoot back and take my place beside Elain.

Azriel was seated across from Elain and did his best to contain his rage against Lucien.

I noticed this sudden shift of tension in the room between the two males but decided that now was not the time to bring it up. Especially not in front of the family.

Elain however didn’t seem to have this incentive and piped up.

“Are you okay, Az?” She asks sweetly. She attempts to take his hand. Azriel lets her hold his hand for a millisecond, before quickly pulling away.

I knew he was insecure about his hands and how they have seen years of battle, yet that wasn’t what bothered me most.

What bothered me most, was hearing my nickname for Azriel fall out of Elain’s mouth so casually.

It wasn’t that I disliked Elain, in fact I was happy for her. She is happy and healthy, was quick to adapt to the ways of Fae and everyone in the court had watched her confidence grow tremendously.

Yes, I was happy for her. Yet every time I caught her talking with Azriel, a wave of jealousy would come over me.

Elain didn’t want Lucien and Azriel didn’t want me, not in that way at least.

Everyone was on their way to a happy ending... everyone but me.

I let out a small cough and continue with the evening. Lucien kept up with his filthy ways and I kept up my responses. Cassian laughed with Rhys and Feyre discussed baby clothes with Nesta.

It felt as time had stopped, as I drunk in moment.

Eventually everyone slid off one by one. Amren and Varian first and soon the rest followed.

Mor invited me to her room so that we could spend some time together. I respectfully declined, desperate to climb into my bed.

——————————

Azriel couldn’t sleep. He stood on the balcony and stared into the distance. It was a clear night, the stars shined brightly above him.

As trained as Azriel was, he was still no match for his High Lord’s stealth.

Not that he would admit it to anymore, but his heart missed a beat when he suddenly heard Rhysand’s voice boom behind him.

“Okay Az, what the hell is going on around here? Seriously I have Elain basically drooling over you, Lucien Vanserra flirting with y/n and she’s flirting BACK, and you’re strung tighter than an Illyrian bow”

Azriel wasn’t ready to admit the truth but if he didn’t soon then he had no idea how the hell he would cope, especially after seeing you at dinner earlier. It took all of his strength to remain seated and not knock Lucien from his seat. His cock had strained against his pants so much that it had become painful. He felt Ferrell and you didn’t have a clue.

So Azriel turned around, folded his wings, and stood straight.

“Y/N is my mate”

It took Rhysand a moment to adjust to what he had just heard.

He clapped his brother on the shoulder and cheered, but his celebration was short lived when he saw the sour look on Azriel’s face.

“Okay ... so why do look like you’ve just been slapped in the face with a fish?”

“Because she’s absolutely oblivious! You’ve seen it yourself, the way she is around Lucien. Just because his mate doesn’t want him doesn’t mean he is entitled to mine!” Azriel explodes and doesn’t give Rhys a chance to respond before he launches himself into the night sky.

He spends the night flying around the city before returning at early dawn.

He is surprised to find Y/N stood outside his bedroom door.

She spins around before he could call her name.

You flash a smile that could bring him to his knees.

“I felt your shadows behind me.” You giggle.

“Anyway, I am only here to tell you that Rhys and Feyre are heading down to the cabin for the night. I said we would look after baby Nyx. Is that okay?”

Azriel tried to focus on what you were saying and not your scent. He just nods in response and as you hop towards him. You fling your arms around him and hug.

Azriel just prayed to the saints that you couldn’t feel his member begging to be released beneath his trousers.

————————————————

Nyx was certainly a handful, he was growing quickly and wanted to explore the world. It didn’t take him long to figure out how to crawl which meant keeping him away from pretty much everything in the house. I was just glad he hadn’t learnt how to use his wings yet.

Eventually he powered down and settled in my lap, he was fed, clean and happy. Meanwhile I learnt that I definitely wasn’t ready for children yet.

“How is he?” Azriel yawned as Nyx’s eyes slowly dropped shut, his thumb in his mouth.

I cradled the small boy in my arms as Azriel sat beside me.

“I will go put him to bed in a moment, he just looks so peaceful” I whispered.

Az just laughed.

“You weren’t saying that before when he was destroying the place”

I roll my eyes and gently lift my body up from the sofa before walking to the nursery.

When I entered the living quarters again, I found Az with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

“Want one?” He asks.

I shrug. “Sure, why not”

We sat in a comfortable silence before I was brave enough to speak up.

“So, are you going to tell me why you have been so uptight lately? Is it work?”

Azriel’s comfortable posture, stiffens and he is back on high alert.

Seeing this, I couldn’t help but feel guilty.

I shouldn’t force him to talk, it’s not like he’d want to open up to me anyway.

I decide to change the subject.

“Is it true that the bigger a wingspan, the bigger the dick?”

I watch as Azriel splutters and does his best not to leak his drink over the cream coloured carpet.

“I erm... what?!”

I laugh at the reaction and start to inch closer to him.

I’m high on liquid courage, no way would I ever do this sober.

“Feyre told me that fae wings are super sensitive”

I wrap my legs over each side and place myself down on his lap. He grips me in place and grunts slightly but doesn’t say anything.

I delicately run two fingers down his right wing, they are soft, almost like velvet, yet they shine when the light is right.

“Nesta even said that some men cum from a single touch... if in the right place” I whisper in his ear, placing small light kisses down his neck as my fingers continue to dance over every individual feather. His hips buck upwards involuntarily, and I smirk.

“Well it was something like that anyways”

I remove myself from his lap to drink from my wine glass. Azriel sat grinding his teeth, showing incredible restraint.

I head over to the kitchen and place the empty dishes and glasses in the sink, staying in just the right places so Az still got a full view.

He suddenly springs up from his own seat and follows me into the kitchen. He corners me and I try to remain stoic.

He picks me up like I weigh nothing and rests his body in between my legs.

He uses one hand to brush my hair out of my face and the other to casually trace patterns on my thigh.

His voice was low, and his shadows danced behind him.

“Rumour has it, the bigger the wingspan the bigger dick, right? Well Rhys likes to claim he has the biggest but one drunken night we measured... I’m forbidden to tell anyone this but… I won” he winks and suddenly pulls away acting so very nonchalant.

“The wing thing, I personally don’t know because apparently I haven’t had the right bed mate for that”

There was no stopping me after that. I hook my feet around his knees and use all my strength to pull his body back to mine.

Our faces crash together as we kiss and our tongues battle for dominance. My hands roam his body as I slip them under his shirt. His hands copy my actions and I couldn’t help but groan into him as he gets familiar.

Eventually we pull away for air and our eyes lock for what felt like forever and a day. This unfamiliar feeling of euphoria rushed over my body, attacking my senses. It attacked every inch of me. It felt as if my soul would burst open for the world to see.

The sudden panic that came straight after snapped me back into reality. I broke away from the male in front of me as I gasped for air. Silent tears ran down my face.

I pushed Azriel away with force and ran from the room.

“I’m sorry, I am so sorry I can’t-“

I ran to my room and collapsed down the back of the door.

What was happening?

———————————————————

PART 2 is on its way!!

[anna-justice]

come back (be here)

part one of upstead: but make it taylor swift

summary: I guess you're in New York today, I don't wanna need you this way (or: hailey is in new york and jay misses her more than you could ever imagine). read on ao3

…

and this is when the feeling sinks in, I don't wanna miss you like this,

come back...be here, 

come back...be here

I guess you're in New York today, I don't wanna need you this way,

come back...be here,

come back...be here

taxi cabs and busy streets,

that never bring you back to me,

I can't help but wish you took me with you

this is falling in love in the cruelest way,

this is falling for you and you are worlds away,

in New York, be here

~ come back...be here by taylor swift

…

day one

It had been 12 hours since Jay dropped her off at the airport, 12 hours since she gave him a teary smile and jumped out of the cab, 12 hours since he watched her disappear behind the glass doors, and it felt like it had been forever. 

He walked in the district with a new darkness looming over his head, he felt like a storm cloud was following him around. It had only been 12 hours, but he already felt like the life had been sucked out of him. He loved his job, he loved his team, but there was something missing and he couldn’t shake it. He wasn’t sure he would until she was sitting in front of him again. 

As he climbed the stairs to the bullpen - ignoring the knowing look from his desk sergeant - he gave the room a once over. It was like he was taken back in time. The familiar feeling of dread settling in his stomach as he ascended the stairs alone, it had been many years since he felt a similar sense of loneliness. 

Erin was an afterthought now, but in that moment he felt like a child again. The same dumb kid who lied and slept with his “informants,” who always took it too far and leaped before he even thought to look. He hadn’t been that person in a long time, not since Hailey. He still leaped but now he had someone who took the jump with him and she always made sure that he looked first. There was part of him that was scared with her gone, he would have no one to keep him from falling off the deep end. 

“Earth to Halstead.” He heard and then was startled by a hand waving in front of his face. He picked his head up out of his hands and laid back into his chair, feigning a stretch. “You good man? You look like death.” It was Kevin, who had a tiny smirk on his face. 

Jay nodded, chuckling nervously. “Yeah, uh, just didn’t sleep well.” 

Kim stifled a laugh across the room, Vanessa gave him a knowing look  and Adam shook his head, leaning on his desk. “Yeah, okay…” He waltzed across the room to Jay and Kevin, motioning to Hailey’s empty desk, “She have an okay flight?” He asked, knowing that Jay knew.

It caught him off guard, he wasn’t lying about not sleeping well, but he didn’t say that it was because he stayed up all night waiting for Hailey to say that she made it safely to her hotel. He nodded, “Yeah, she landed at like 3:00 this morning, said the room they put her up in was nice.” 

“Good,” Kevin said, nudging Jay’s shoulder. “Glad they are taking care of our girl.” The words made Jay crack a smile, the first one since he had bid Hailey goodbye the night before. 

He glanced at the empty desk again, picking up his phone and snapping a picture of it. He clicked on his partner’s contact info and drafted a text. 

Jay: My pens miss you. 

It was short, and could be taken as sweet, but it was still enough to make his heart beat a little faster as he hit send. The nerves started to set in immediately after he flipped his phone over. Everyone in the room knew that Hailey would reach across their computer screens to steal a pen or pencil whenever she needed, hers were lost as soon as she got them: whether they had fallen from behind her ear or were dropped on the floor. She never had one, but Jay found himself worried that she would think it was a little weird that he had noticed all those things too. 

His phone buzzed against the fake wood not long after, and he turned it over a little faster than he would like to admit. 

Hailey: I miss them too, you buy the good kind. 

A grin across his face as soon as he read it, and he coughed out a subtle laugh. For a second - only a second - he let himself pretend they weren’t talking about pens, but they were. 

Jay: Have a good day :) 

Her response came almost immediately. 

Hailey: You too Jay :)

He leaned back in seat, sighing. It wasn’t the same as watching her from across their desks or clearing a scene together, or even just hearing her voice. But, it was the first day, he needed to pace himself. There would be plenty of time to miss her, and for now, this was enough.

day two

Jay poured himself another cup of coffee, he hadn’t been able to focus all day. He was telling everyone else that he had a headache, but he knew it was from Hailey’s words still ringing in his head. 

“I miss the wind, and you.” 

It was literally all he could think about since their conversation early that morning as they both walked into work - unfortunately - 800 miles apart. He would admit, it was much better than his lonely walk into the district the day before, it was almost like she was with him, but not close enough. 

He took a big sip of his coffee, pinching the bridge of his nose (okay, so maybe he really did have a headache). The bullpen was buzzing, everyone else seemingly unaffected by his partner’s absence. He made his way back towards his desk, dodging Kevin, who scored against Adam in their game of trashketball (their favorite pass times on slow days). 

“You wanna play the winner?” Kevin asked, stepping back for Adam to make a free throw (Kim called a foul). 

Jay shook his head, “Nah man, I’m good.” He stood over her desk, staring down at the stack of files that were left there. She was gone in such a hurry that she didn’t even get the chance to clean it off. He picked up the one on top, pretending to read it. 

“Hey,” He heard from behind him. He flinched, spinning to face the brunette behind him. “You good?” Vanessa asked. 

Jay sighed, “Uh, yeah, just looking at Hailey’s paperwork. It needs to be filed.” He threw the folder back down and leaned against it. “I just hope it’s done.” He joked weakly. 

Vanessa looked down at the pile and smirked at him, laying a hand over the top. “I’m sure it is, it’s not like Hailey to leave unfinished business.” Jay didn’t dare raise his gaze to look at her, he knew there was shock written all over his face. Not that he should be surprised, it wasn’t like Vanessa to beat around the bush. 

Maybe he was reading into things, but he was almost 100% sure they weren’t talking about paperwork. He laughed it off, “Yeah, she always finishes before me and then proof reads mine. She doesn’t trust me to do it right.” 

The brunette shook her head, chuckling with him. She shrugged, “Or maybe it’s just an excuse to spend time with you.” With that she waltzed into the break room, throwing a wink over her shoulder at a stunned Jay. 

He wasn’t one to talk about his feelings (or really even acknowledge them) and the thought of being as open as Vanessa had just been was making him want to vomit. It was so easy for her to throw that at him - that Hailey likes spending time with him - why was it so hard for him to say it? It’s not like he didn’t know, she did too, they were each other’s favorite people. It had just ever been said so directly. 

His feet carried him faster than his brain could catch up and he followed Vanessa, closing the door behind him. “What Jay?” She asked, without even turning around. 

Jay took a breath, he hadn’t really thought about what to say here, but he needed something. It had only been two days, but he was going crazy. He missed her like crazy. “You are being cryptic.” 

“Actually,” Vanessa said, turning to face him. “I’m being the opposite of cryptic.”

Jay shook his head, “Really? I don’t think so. I just feel like I’m reading into what you are saying or that you are implying something-”

“I’m gonna stop you right there, before you completely eat your own foot.” She smiled softly, “I’m not implying or saying anything Jay. I’m just saying that it’s okay to miss her and it’s okay to worry about her, she’s your partner. You’ve got to have her back.” She winked at him and headed for the door, “Just, don’t be afraid to tell her that. Tell her what you are feeling.” 

After she left the room, Jay let out a sigh. He muttered under his breath, “And she says she’s not being cryptic.” But, even if Vanessa was talking in riddles, she was right. He pulled out his phone and clicked on her name. 

Jay: Just so you know, I miss you too. A lot. 

The typing bubble appeared on the screen seconds later.

Hailey: Me too. A lot. 

day three

The third day was Tuesday, which was the day that he and Hailey normally had off, just not from each other. They would meet at her place at eight and go to the gym together then grab breakfast, then from there it was a toss up depending on each of their days. However, almost every time they ended up at the shooting range. Today was no different. 

Jay left his apartment 10 minutes later than normal, arriving at their gym alone at 8:15. It was weird walking in alone. Sure, he went to workout plenty without her, but never on a Tuesday, never at that time of day and never at that gym. There was one right around the corner from his apartment, but Hailey was weird about working out in front of people and she felt more comfortable on her own, so he just got another membership. He never really thought anything of it.

Not until now, walking into Hailey’s gym alone felt wrong. But, what felt worse was that it hadn’t even accrued to him to just go to his own. No, Tuesday’s were different, and he liked them. He just wasn’t sure if he liked them without her.

He walked in, ran several miles on the treadmill and had moved to the weight station when a random girl approached him. He continued his reps as he noticed her making her way towards him. “Hey macho,” She said, smiling brightly, “You mind spotting me?” 

Jay looked around him - he was kind of in the middle of something - but he didn’t really mind. So, he shrugged and set his weight down before following her. 

She laid down on the bench and positioned herself under the metal bar, signaling to Jay to help her lift it off. She lowered it slowly, taking a breath before pushing it back up, “So,” She huffed, “Where’s your girlfriend?” 

Jay’s eyebrows laced together, “I don’t have a girlfriend.” He said matter of factly. 

“Then who is that blonde girl you are always here with?” She asked, starting to struggle at pushing the bar back up. 

Jay realized two things. One: this girl had been watching him for a bit and decided to make a move when his “girlfriend” wasn’t around. That’s off putting. And two: she thought Hailey was his girlfriend, and that made him smile. “That’s my partner, I’m a cop. Detective really.” 

He caught the bar with ease as she lost steam, watching her cautiously as she sat up. “Good to know.” She grabbed her water bottle from beside the bench and gave him a smirk, “Thank you.” Jay gave her a short nod before retreating back to his bench, he was ready to be done and get out of there.

About 30 minutes later, Jay walked into the locker room to grab his bag from his locker, when he got there, there was a note taped to the door. 

If that really isn’t your girlfriend, give me a call ;) 

~ Maddie (xxx-xxx-xxxx) 

Jay peeled it off and shook his head before grabbing his grab, tossing it in the trash as he left the room. He made his way to his truck, figuring he had time to shower at home before heading to the shooting range. He and Hailey hadn’t been in a few weeks, and he was due for recertification (honestly, he didn’t even know why they bothered, he got a perfect score everytime). 

About an hour later he was on his way there, and the familiar drive felt strange coming from a different place. If he was being honest, everything felt strange. 

When he pulled in the parking lot, he parked in his normal spot and jumped out. It was almost never busy at 10 on a Tuesday. He looked up and took in the sign out front The Old Chicago Range, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and snapped a picture, sending it to Hailey. 

Jay: Be jealous :)

As he pulled the door open, he met familiar faces. That was their favorite thing about this place. He would admit, maybe a shooting range isn’t exactly the kind of family business you would want to pass down, but it had worked for the owners. The same four men had been working there for the past three years, and long before Hailey and Jay started going there. The place was relatively small, but they were always in great company. It was owned by 2 brothers and their cousins, whose fathers had passed it to them. All of them were ex-military or retired CPD officers, so Jay felt right at home. 

“Jay!” One of the brothers, Robbie, said from behind the counter. He jumped out of his seat and rounded it to shake Jay’s hand. 

Jay took it, squeezing it firmly, the way they were both taught. “Hey Rob, good to see you.” 

The older man headed back towards the computer, “Same as always?” He asked.

He almost said yes, but then he realized Hailey wasn’t getting their guns out of the truck. “No, uh, just me today.” 

Robbie looked up, it seemed a little dramatic, but they had never come without each other before. “Oh, is everything alright?” 

Jay quickly jumped in, “Yeah, Hailey is just on assignment in New York, she’ll be back soon.” As soon as the words left his mouth he regretted saying them. Would she be back soon?

“Well good,” Robbie said. “You wanna go try out the new glock?”

“Hell yeah.” 

Jay followed Robbie through the narrow hallway and to the back where the actual indoor range was, feeling his phone buzz in his pocket. 

Hailey: Don’t worry, I am

Hailey: Are you taking your side partner to our place??

Jay chuckled to himself, trying to control his heartbeat. Our place. Their place. He liked the thought of that, a lot.

Jay: No, never

Hailey: Good

Hailey: Don’t have too much fun without me

Jay: Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to send you a picture of my perfect score

Hailey: Yeah ok whatever

They made it to the window and Jay was about to put his phone away when it buzzed again. 

Hailey: Text me when you’re done

Jay: I will

He smiled bigger, ignoring Robbie’s and now his brother Tim’s sideways glances. He picked up the headphones and secured them, taking the gun in his hand and watched the marker slide back to the other end of the room. Jay raised the gun and fired the first shot, picturing what he always did.

When he was in Ranger training and long after, they were taught to kill with no remorse. That was their job: to take out the enemy to save the masses. But, Jay had never been good at taking a life, innocent or not. They had trained them to have no emotional attachment, they were going after combattants, terrorists, truly horrible people in the eyes of all soldiers, but it didn’t matter. Jay had a big heart, even if he didn’t show it, so he came up with his own way to cope. 

Maybe it was unhealthy, but every time he had to shoot his gun overseas, he would imagine that his mom’s life was at risk, that she was the one in danger, not him or anyone else. And that made it easier, in the moment, at least. Somewhere along the way, he stopped imagining his mom and he started imagining Hailey. She was something that he would protect at all costs, no questions asked. 

When he finished, the marker slid forward so he could see, and much to his surprise, he scored a 99. Something that hadn’t happened since before Erin left, he was stunned. Jay didn’t care about the score, but something deep in his chest was making him squirm. Was he really this much of a mess without her? 

When he got back to his truck a little while later, he pulled out his phone, texting his partner. 

Jay: You missed out, the new glock they got in is a beauty

Hailey: I’ll have to try it when I get back

Jay took a deep breath, she’s coming back, she’s coming back, she’s coming back. Even she knows that, why couldn’t he get that through his head.

Jay: For sure

Hailey: So, no score gloating?

Jay: Not today, I got a 99

Hailey: WHAT

Hailey: That’s never happened 

Jay: Yeah, I know

Jay: Something was missing.

day four

Jay poured over the set of photos and stacks of reports for the third or fourth time, he didn’t find anything, but there was no way he wasn’t missing something. He needed another set of eyes, he needed Hailey’s eyes. 

It was just him and Trudy left, not that Trudy ever really went home when Mouch was on shift, everyone else had taken their frustration over the case in stride and gone home, but Jay couldn’t let it go. 

They were stuck on a string of robberies involving department stores, with multiple casualties, some of them kids. They just couldn’t find the connection between the stores. They were scattered all across the district, sold different things and nothing specific was ever stolen. And the crew, they were ruthless, they didn’t care who got hurt, if they were in the way, they were taken out. 

Jay heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs, perking up in his seat. It was Trudy with a white takeout box in her hand. “Serge.” Jay said, smiling, “Have I told you lately that you’re my favorite person in the world?” 

“Haha,” Trudy laughed, giving him a faked stink eye. “No you have not, but it’s a good thing Upton’s not here to hear you say that.” She joked. 

She watched Jay’s face fall immediately, “Good thing.” He said with a forced smile. 

Trudy sat the box down on his desk and perched herself on Hailey’s empty one across from him. “You miss her don’t you?” She asked, a small smirk playing on her lips. 

Jay sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Of course I do.” He said, the words tumbling out of his mouth with ease. Trudy’s smirk grew and Jay just shrugged, “She’s my partner.” 

Trudy stood, taking in the man that she had watched grow so much. She couldn’t explain the amount of pride she felt when she thought of the men and women in intelligence. She and Mouch didn’t get the chance to have their own children, so she always saw Hank’s unit as her own little family. She was proud of Jay especially, he had turned into an incredible cop and an even better man. She rested a hand on his shoulder, “Yeah, I know.” She sighed, “Go home soon okay? Get some sleep.” 

“Yes ma’am,” He said, squeezing her hand. As Trudy headed for the stairs, Jay watched her go. He wasn’t sure when it happened, but Trudy became someone that he could really count on. And she was the closest thing he had to a mom, and he really needed his mom right now. “Hey Trudy.” He called and she spun around. 

“Yeah,” She said. 

Jay shook his head a bit, his voice coming out quiet, “She’s coming back right?” 

Trudy was taken aback by Jay’s forwardness, and she wished she had an answer for him, but she didn’t. The feds had a way of holding on to good people, and Hailey was the best. But for all their sakes, especially his, she hoped Hailey would come home, despite the fancy suits, despite the better pay and the sleek and shiny offices, she hoped she would choose Chicago. But she couldn’t really say that to Jay. “She better, she owes me a bottle of Tequila.” 

That got Jay to laugh a bit, looking down at his desk as he smiled, remembering the bet that Hailey lost one day when they were all Tailgating a few months before, she had yet to pay up. “Yeah, she does. Thanks Serge.” 

“Anytime,” Trudy said, “Goodnight Chuckles.” She joked, and then she was gone. 

Jay set the box to the side, no longer feeling like eating. His stomach was in knots. He returned to his previous position, pouring over the files once again. He couldn’t figure out what he was missing. 

He caught sight of his phone on his desk, making a split second decision and calling his partner. She answered on the third ring. “Hello?”

“Hey,” He said, just enjoying hearing her voice for a moment. He snapped out of it, “How’s working with the feds?” Is it wrong that a small part of him wanted her to say that she hated it.

“Good.” She said quickly. “Different, but good.” Jay heard a door click over the line. “Actually, you have great timing. I was getting off the elevator when you called me.” 

Jay glanced at the clock on his monitor, it read 12:04. “Damn, that’s late.” 

“Yeah, anyway. What’s up?” She asked. Suddenly, Jay felt bad asking her for help, she had just finished her day and she probably needed sleep. “Jay?” 

“Oh, uh, I was just gonna ask for your opinion on a case, but you need sleep. I’ll let you-”

“No.” Hailey said, cutting him off. “I’m wired, I won’t be able to sleep, it’s been a crazy night. What do you need?” 

Great. A crazy night. They were probably doing a big raid or something else with their big budget and fancy tech stuff. And Hailey was probably really good at it. “I just can’t find the connection between the stores in this string of robberies. People are dying, we’re running out of time.” 

“Do you have the digital files?” She asked. 

“Yeah.”

“Alright, send them to me. I’ll call you back.” 

Jay did what he was told and not even five minutes later, she called him back. But this time, it was a facetime notification. Jay cautiously slid it open, immediately taking in Hailey’s appearance. She had her phone propped up facing her as she sat on a bed in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt with her computer in lap. “Hey.” Jay said, propping his up on his monitor.

“Hey.” She said back, smiling her big, bright, Hailey smile that he didn’t realize he missed so much. It had only been four days, he really needed to pull it together. They stared at each other for a moment, before Hailey visibly tensed. “So, run me through the facts.” 

So he did, he talked her through the case while she looked through photos and reports. Jay was hoping that he would think of something as he explained it all, but he didn’t. 

After a few minutes or silence, Hailey spoke up, “Did you check the security companies?” 

“Yeah, they all use different ones.” He said.

“Ok,” Hailey said, “Wait, check and see if there is some sort of backing. Like a mother company or something.” 

Jay typed for a while before shouting, “Bingo!” He smiled at her through the phone, “Hailey, you got it. They are all financed partially by Graham Consolidated, a big tech company.” 

“Perfect, so what do you think? Personal vendetta against the CEO/Company and they are coming after it’s partners? Maybe it’s Graham’s way of completely taking over the smaller companies?” Hailey said, throwing out ideas.

Jay shrugged, a smile still on his face. “I don’t know, but now I have a place to start. Thank you.” 

“Of course, anytime.” She said. There was a beat. “I really miss you guys, I wasn’t kidding when I said it’s different here.” 

“We - he should have said I - miss you too.” He couldn't help himself, “Different, as in bad?”

Hailey shrugged, trying to find the words, “I don’t know, it’s just more structured. More rules potentially break, but -” She stopped for a second, taking him in and deciding if she really wanted to tell him this. She didn’t want him to look at her any differently. “- maybe that was the point, I guess it need it.” 

She needed it? How could he compete with that? Maybe she was reconsidering her decision, it had only been four days. Jay smiled weakly, “Well, they are lucky to have you.” He said, genuinely.

“Thanks.” She said softly, looking a little disappointed. Had she wanted him to tell her that she better come home? Does she want him to tell her he couldn’t live without her? No way, he couldn’t. A job with the FBI is a big deal, and Hailey was definitely on the path of being offered one. He couldn't get in the way of that. 

Jay took a breath, “I should go. I’ve got lots to do.” He said, forcing a smile. 

“Yeah, ok.” Hailey said, “Goodnight Jay, go home soon.” 

“Goodnight Hailey.” Come home soon. 

day five

“Contrary to popular belief Jay, your body is not bulletproof.” Will said, pressing the bandage flush against his brother's arm. 

Jay rolled his eyes, sighing, “It barely grazed me, there won’t even be a scar…” 

Will huffed, standing straighter and glaring at his brother, he looked at Kim who was standing in the corner of the room. “Hey Kim, when was the last time Jay got shot?”

Kim feigned inquiry, tapping her chin with her finger. “Oh, I don’t know, not even six months ago?” She said, a bit too aggressively. 

“You guys are being dramatic. I’m fine.” Jay insisted. 

“Jay!” Will snapped, “You have gotten shot twice in the past six months. Three times in two years! That’s not normal!” He was obviously frustrated, running his hand through his hair. He didn’t understand what Jay didn’t get, they were all each other had. “You’re not bulletproof, you’re like a damn bullet magnet.” 

Jay held up his hands, “Ok, now you’re being ridiculous -” He was cut off by his phone buzzing on the bed next to him, he picked it up glaring at his brother and temporary partner. The ID ready Hailey Upton. “Which one of you told?” He snapped. Will and Kim both held their hand up in surrender before backing out of the room to give Jay some privacy,  neither of them had spilled the beans. Jay sighed, hitting the green button and answering. “Hey.” 

He was expecting her to scream at him, to be angry, but instead, “Thank God you’re okay.” She sighed out, Jay was taken aback. 

“Yeah Hailey, I’m okay.” 

He heard her soft sniffles over the line. Had she been crying? He felt a pang of guilt in his chest at the thought. “I just got back to the office and I had a text from Adam that just said “Jay got shot” and he wasn’t answering and all I could think about was last time, and -” She stopped herself, taking a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter, I-I was just worried.”

“I’m fine, I promise.” Jay said calmly, sensing her panic even 800 miles away. 

“Okay,” She said, sounding defeated. “What happened?” 

Jay shrugged, immediately regretting it. He would never admit it out loud, but his arm was really sore. “It was a run of the mill shoot out, I just jumped out of the way too slow. It just grazed my arm, there was barely any blood.” That was a lie, there was a lot of blood. He had to change his clothes, they were pretty much ruined. 

He wasn’t sure what he was trying to do by omitting how bad it could have been, maybe he was protecting her, but he couldn’t bear her blaming herself for this. He knew he would. If he was stuck in New York and Hailey got hurt in Chicago without him there to back, he would blame himself too. “Which arm?” She asked quickly. 

“Left.” He sighed out, hoping that maybe she would ignore it.

“Jay!” She shouted, “You aren’t even done with PT for your left shoulder!”

“Hailey.” He said, only slightly mocking her, “The bad guys don’t have a copy of my line of duty injuries report.” 

He heard her stifle a laugh and he smiled to himself. Bingo. He knew she wasn’t really mad at him, she was just worried. He would have reacted the exact same way. “Okay, fair enough. But, seriously, you have to be more careful.” There was a beat, “I don’t know what I would do without you.” 

Jay literally felt his heart stop in his chest. He didn’t know what he would do without her either, and this was the closest he ever wanted to be to finding out. “Hailey, you won’t have to find out. I’m not going anywhere.”

Hailey sighed audibly, “You can’t promise me that.” 

“No, but I can sure as hell try.” He joked.

That earned a laugh from her, causing a small smile to grace his face. “Yeah, you better.” They sat there in silence for a while, finding comfort in only the assurance of the other one's presence. “Don’t scare me like that again.” 

“I won’t Hailes.” Jay couldn’t put his finger on it, but something about this felt different than the last time. He thought back to the day he was released, what his phone had interrupted. It seemed kind of ironic how they were having all of their important conversations that way now. The words were different, but the rest was the same. The pain in her voice, the fear, it made everything all too real. It terrified him, because maybe - just maybe - she needed him just as much as he needed her.

Maybe there was a chance for them after all.

day six

By the next night, Jay was so exhausted that he was sure he would fall asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. His arm was still sore and he had slept terribly the night before. The shooting, however minor it was, had done a number on him. Nightmares of Hailey being shot plagued his mind all night long.

He had just turned out his light when his phone buzzed on the bedside table, he silently prayed that they hadn’t caught a case. When he flipped it over, he saw it wasn’t from his boss, but from his partner. 

Hailey: Facetime?

Jay was a little embarrassed by how fast he clicked the call button, all his tiredness being thrown out the window, but he would be a fool to waste her forwardness. She picked up on the first ring. “Eager aren’t we?” 

Jay was going something clever back, but he was startled by how beautiful she looked in the shitty hotel lighting. He reached over and switched his lamp on, pretending not to notice the shocked look on Hailey’s face when she realized he was shirtless. However, her gaze didn’t shift away. “See something you like, Upton?” 

Hailey smirked, taking his jab in stride, “What if I say yes?” 

Jay smiled big. Was she flirting with him? “Then I would tell you that I see something I like too.” 

Hailey blushed and Jay’s grin grew three sizes, he wanted to make that happen again, and again, and again. “Good to know.” Her expression softened when she noticed the bandage on his left arm, “How’s your arm?”

Jay shrugged, “Sore, but fine.” She didn’t look convinced. “Hailey, look at me.” She lifted her gaze from her lap, to his eyes on the screen. “I’m okay.” 

She nodded, “Good.” 

“Is everything okay?” He asked, not that he didn’t enjoy it, but he was a little confused on why she had asked him to facetime out of the blue. 

She nodded again, “Yeah actually, everything’s great...I just miss you.” 

“I miss you too Hailes.” He wasn’t exactly sure when he started calling her that, but he liked it a lot. It felt special, like a step forward. “Have you heard anything about coming home?” He knew it was a loaded question, but he was practicing self preservation. If she was changing her mind and staying, he needed time to prepare, no matter how unlikely it was. 

Hailey shrugged, “I don’t know, at least a few more weeks. The girl whose spot I’m in is deep undercover, so we don’t exactly have a timeline.” 

“Okay.”

“I hope it’s soon though, if that counts for anything.” She said quietly. 

“It does,” Jay said, letting out a breath. “A lot actually.” 

“I need to come home, I don’t know how much more of this wheat thin style pizza I can take.” 

Jay laughed out loud, “Oh I get it, you don’t miss me, you just miss deep dish.”

“Finally, it took you long enough.” She said, joking with him. Jay pressed a hand to his chest, feigning being offended. Hailey grinned, rolling over on her side and resting her phone against the pillow next to her. “Shut up, you know I miss you.” 

Jay smiled softly, giving her a small nod of understanding. He did know she missed him, and he missed her like crazy too. He looked into her bright blue eyes, “I wish you took me with you.” He said. 

He could tell he caught her off guard, the shocked expression on her face said it all, and he almost regretted saying it, but not quite. He meant it with his whole heart. “Me too.” She said finally. “OA’s great, but...but he’s not you Jay.” She shook her head, smiling softly to herself. “There’s no one else like you.”

Jay’s heart was pounding in his chest at her words, he was half convinced he was dreaming. “Well that’s good, there’s only enough room for one partner in your life, and I intend on keeping the spot.”

“You better,” She said, staring at him shamelessly. “I don’t want anyone else.” 

“I don’t want anyone else either.” In any way, he thought. 

“Come to New York.” She said quickly, a nervous expression crossing her face for a split second as he watched her realize what she just said. 

Jay cocked an eyebrow, “What?” He breathed out.

“Come to New York.” She said again, this time with more confidence. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, and it felt like the simple question meant so much more. Are you sure this is what you want? Are you sure you want me there? Are you sure that you want me too?

Hailey nodded, “Yes. Buy the ticket Jay.” She said, “Be here.” 

“Okay.”

day seven

Jay felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest as he walked to baggage claim. 

The last 12 hours had been quite the whirlwind. He had texted Voight immediately after he hung up with Hailey asking for the next day off. Thankfully he had said yes, and Jay booked the next flight that wasn’t full. It left O’Hare at 12:15 the next day. 

He couldn’t believe what he was doing, flying to New York to see Hailey. It had only been a week and he was buying an overpriced plane ticket? He really did have it bad. 

It wasn’t lost on him how familiar the situation was, losing a partner, a friend, someone he loved to the city, to the FBI even. He knew the feeling well, but his walk through the crowded terminal proved to him just how much things had changed. He never bought a ticket to see Erin, not after a week, not after a month, never. The thought never really even crossed his mind. She was gone and that was that, time to move on. But not with Hailey. 

Hailey was different, the thought moving on, the thought of forgetting her ripped through him like a knife. He wasn’t sure he’d survive without her. And even though it had only been seven days, he was ecstatic to see her. He missed watching her blonde ponytail swing as she walked, he missed her telling him his handwriting sucked, he missed never having any pens, he missed her laugh, her voice, her smile (well that he had seen, but it’s not the same). He missed everything about her. 

His flight landed around three, and he was meeting Hailey at her hotel. She had told the front desk to leave him a key to let himself in, and that she would be there as soon as she could. She couldn’t exactly ask for time off when she had only been there a few days.

Jay had decided on the plan that he was going to tell her how he felt, he owed it to himself to put himself out there again, and he couldn’t pretend that she was just his partner anymore. They both knew that they were more than that. However, when he made that decision, he thought he was going to have hours to decide what he was going to say. Not the 30 seconds it was going to take to walk over to the petite blonde woman holding a sign that read Jay Halstead.

He was taken aback, letting his mouth fall open as he stifled a laugh. She had surprised him. He was barely ten feet away when Hailey abandoned her sign and ran to wrap her arms around him. The closest that had been to each other since he had tackled her down in the surveillance van, almost a year before. “Hi Jay.” She said, her voice loud and clear without the static in between them.

“Hi Hailes.” He said, hugging her tightly to him. Definitely something he could get used to. 

Eventually - and much to his dismay - she took a step back, nervously pushing a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “How was your flight?” She asked.

“Good, went by fast.” Not true, it was painfully slow, the anticipation was too much. “Thanks for picking me up.” He said. 

“Of course. What are partners for?” She joked, rocking back and forth on her heels. 

Jay laughed, “I don’t think Kim would ever pick me up from the airport.” 

Hailey shrugged, smirking, “I guess it’s a good thing that she’s only your temporary partner then. I’m obviously the better one.” 

“Yeah, you are.” Jay tried not to show his disappointment on his face, but he was really starting to hate the word partner. It was just a constant reminder that that was all he was, her partner. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, he wasn’t someone to daydream about passionate first kisses in airports or running down a terminal to greet someone, but for some reason he thought that now was their moment. Maybe he was wrong. 

Jay watched at Hailey’s face mirroring his own, realizing he was thinking the same thing she was. Won’t he just say it already. But she knew him better than that, she knew that he was too stuck in his own head to ever say what he was really feeling. He could never find the words to describe it, and that had been what was different all week. The 800 miles between them gave him an edge, something to use to keep her at an arm's length but still let her in. He was the most open he had ever been about his feelings with her this past week, and she wasn’t ready for that to be over. She never wanted it to stop. 

So, she did the only thing she could. “Jay,” She said quietly, taking a step forward. “You have to know that it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you as just my partner.” 

It took him a moment to process what she said, but once he did, he swept down and pulled her into his arms, pressing his lips to hers. Her hand cupped his neck as he gently held her up, a hand snaking around her waist. There they were, having a passionate first kiss in the middle of baggage claim, no doubt scandalizing everyone around them, but they didn’t care. All that mattered was each other. 

Hailey pulled away breathless, resting her forehead against his. “I missed you so much.” She said quietly, wiping the stray tear that had fallen off her cheek. She was feeling a little overwhelmed by her emotions. 

Jay smiled, leaning down to kiss her once again. “I missed you too, so much.” He pecked her cheek, making her smile. “I never want to miss you like that again, especially now.” She eyed her suggestively.

Hailey laughed against his chest, “Just a few more weeks.”

“It’s not fair,” He said quietly, running his thumb over her cheek, “That I have to leave tomorrow, after this.” 

“Well,” Hailey said, intertwining their hands, “That's tomorrow's problem.” 

“I like the way you think.” He said.

Hailey reached up, kissing him gently, “Then let’s get out of here.” 

The two of them walked out of JFK hand in hand, hailing a taxi and climbing in together. The action was foreign, and so was the city, it wasn’t what either of them wanted. But being there together, even if it was just for a day, it felt like home. 

…

A/N: Oh My Gosh I have been working on this fic for SO LONG and I am so so so happy to have finally finished it. If you haven’t guessed, my new series will be writing Upstead (and possibly other OC couples) as T'S songs because some of them for SO FREAKING WELL! Come back...be here is a bonus track off of red that I found a few weeks after 8x03 aired, and this fic has been a WIP since then, you don’t understand how excited I am to write these! Thank you SO MUCH for reading! Hope you enjoyed <3

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