#I have times when I’m calm about weezer | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lei-lei-artz · 4 months ago

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☆Chapter 5-Roland and Layton ☆

(𝐒𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲)

Read previous chapter here:

Read Next chapter here:

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“Haha!! Finally!” Lev cheered as he busted through the door to the music room. “I’ve acquired our soon-to-be guitarists!” As Lev let them go, Roland glared at Lev while Layton collapsed on the floor.

“Actually.” Connor corrected Lev’s statement “We all did, Lev. Without Risa, we wouldn’t have found these two.” Risa nodded proudly in agreement.

“Yeah, I know! I get it! But cmon, I’m excited!” Lev said with a cheeky grin. “We’ve gotta see ‘em play something.”

Risa sighed. “Lev, go grab a macaron and calm down, for the love of god!” Lev scowled “Fine.”

Layton’s ears perked up when Risa mentioned macarons “Where are the macarons at?” Risa looked up at Layton, confused yet amused by her sudden change in attitude. “On that table.”

Layton immediately ran to the table, grabbing a macaron and eating it almost immediately. “Mmmh! These are so good!” Risa smiled and gave a quick thumbs up “Thank you, I’m glad you enjoy them.”

“So, y’all gonna show us how well you play? Well, when you’re ready to, no rush.” Connor had asked.

“Wait, why’re both me and Layton here? If y’all needed a guitarist, I assume you mean one and not two.”

Connor sighed out of irritation “I’m pretty sure we’ve mentioned that we need a lead and a rhythm guitarist. Maybe check your damn ears.” Roland flipped him off “Well if anyone’s gonna be the lead guitarist it’s gonna be me.”

Connor glared at him, muttering something under his breath before speaking up “We’ve gotta see your skills first before that’s determined, dumbass.”

Risa nodded in agreement “I’ve seen you both play and you’re definitely both skillful but we’ve gotta compare you two to settle who gets which position.”

Layton gave a thumbs up “That’s understandable but in that case, we should get it done with now.” Lev excitedly nodded in agreement.

Layton walked to the corner of the room and grabbed her guitar case, handing Roland his. They both took out their guitars, Roland having a Gibson Les Paul and Layton having a Fender Stratocaster.

“I see you both have a popular and high quality model of guitar.” Cam had pointed out.

Once both of them had set up the amps and plugged in all the cords, they were all set. “So, what can you guys play?” Lev asked.

Layton looked down at Lev and noticed he was wearing a Weezer shirt “I can play this…” She then played the lick from Buddy Holly, which caused Lev to gasp and smile widely.

Roland scoffed “Really? Weezer?” Layton frowned “He’s wearing a Weezer shirt, so that’s what came to mind.”

Roland began playing Chop Suey by System Of A Down, smirking the whole time while doing so. This left the others impressed, Risa and Cam clapping along and Lev begun head banging. Connor however, tried not to show any emotion or sign of being impressed. Once Roland had finished, they all applauded, Roland had a cocky grin pasted on his face.

“System Of A Down, eh?” Layton commented.

Roland turned to Layton, very clearly proud of the reactions he got “Yep. And what’re you gonna play?” he asked, wondering if Layton could compare.

“Hm…how about some Metallica?” Layton started to play the main riff of Lux Æterna. The others were clearly impressed, having a similar reaction to Roland’s playing except Connor was actually showing it.

“Someone give me another Metallica song!”

“Do Enter Sandman!” Lev called out. Layton had began playing it, the others still quite impressed. “Say your prayers little one, don’t forget my son…” Connor began singing along quietly.

“Alright! One more song!”

Connor had decided on a song “Gimme Fuel Gimme Fire Gimme that which I desire!” Layton chucked and began playing Fuel. Once she’d finished, everyone clapped once more.

“Wow, they’re both really good!” Cam had commented “It’s gonna be hard to choose who gets what.”

Layton looked over at Roland “Yknow, he can be lead guitar, I really don’t mind.” Roland glanced back at Layton, his expression lightening slightly. “Really? Are you sure about that, Layton?” Connor had asked, wanting to make sure it was something she really wanted. Layton nodded, patting Roland on the shoulder.

“Well I guess it’s settled then, Roland’s lead and Layton’s rhythm.” The others cheered, Lev being especially happy “Connor! We did it! We’ve got a whole band!” Connor smiled “Yeah, we really did but my concern is how well are we all gonna get along.” Lev shrugged “I’m sure we’ll be fine, I mean you and Roland may already beef with each other and you also have slight beef with Cam and even myself but whatever.”

Connor frowned and whacked Lev in the back of the head.

“Ow! My point proven…”

“Well in that case, look what I brought!” Risa took out another container of pastries. “Oh my god, Risa. That’s really kind of you, but where are you getting all these?” Cam seemed curious but also wanted to try whatever was in the container.

“I tend to bake a lot and since now I’m in a band, I have a whole group to share ‘em with.” Layton smiled “That’s so sweet!” Risa opened the container and sat it at the middle of a table, the band members sitting around it.

“We should all get to know each other better, yknow? Layton had said, the pastry in her mouth muffling her voice. “That’s a good idea—“ “Everyone, what’s your favourite bands?” Lev had cut Connor off, as per usual.

Cam spoke up first “Yknow, I like The Beatles, The Rollings Stones too.”

“Mmh…classic rock, I see. Well personally I like AC/DC and Bon Jovi.” Lev said next. “Weezer too!”

“I like Avenged Sevenfold, Korn and System Of A Down.” said Roland, crossing his arms.

“I really like Metallica and Metric, Gorillaz too.” Layton replied, stuffing another pastry into her mouth.

“I’ll listen to anything really.” Connor said nonchalantly with a shrug. “Yeah same here, anything is fine with me.” Risa added.

The band chattered about this for a while before Lev came to a realization. “Hey so…”

“So what?” Connor cocked his head to the side in curiosity. What was Lev thinking about now?

“What’s our band name?”

The others became quiet, they didn’t have one yet. “Good question.” said Cam. “Any ideas?”

Connor thought, there was really nothing in mind. “We’ll figure something out, hopefully.”

Layton nodded “When will we all play together though?”

Connor paused again “Soon.” Lev sighed “Well it better be soon, I don’t wanna wait much longer!” Risa chuckled at Lev’s level of patience.

“We’ll practice soon, Lev. Soon.”

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#unwind #unwind dystology #unwind band au #connor lassiter #risa ward #lev tashi'ne #camus comprix #roland taggart #unwind oc #layton wach

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asexual-spongebob · 5 months ago

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if your fics had theme songs, what would they be?

Hm… very good question anon!

TWTLTS (the waves that lap the shore)’s theme (for the whole fic, I assigned chapters theme songs to, which I’ll get to talkin abt in a moment.) is Rock Lobster by the BC 52’s. I also have a playlist for songs that remind me of the fic as a whole.

For the chapters:

Hello, Mako (Chapter 12): Undone (Weezer.)

Kwazii’s Rescue (Chapter 13): Porcelina Of The Vast Oceans (The Smashing Pumpkins)

Only in Dreams (We see what it means) (Chapter 14): Only in Dreams (Weezer)

~Oh it’s what you do to me~ (Chapter 24): Hey There Delilah (The Plain White T’s)

Stumbline (Chapter 29): Stumbline (The Smashing Pumpkins)

Closing Time (Chapter 30): Closing Time (Semisonic)

And for WotS (wail of the siren)… I’m honestly not sure what song fits the whole fic?? I def associate “My Beloved Monster” (Eels) with ZaDr + TaGr in that fic tho. But for the fic as a whole??? Not sure.

I’d still have to think about that.

I have plenty of songs i associate with the fic tho, like the chapters or just songs that remind me. Of it, which can be found in this playlist.

But here’s some theme songs for the chapters.

The Stolen Salmon (Chapter 1): Panic Song (Green Day)

An Invader’s Return (Chapter 2): Blew (Nirvana)

The Offer (Chapter 3): Scooby Snacks (Fun Lovin’ Criminals)

Chopsticks (Chapter 4): Bill Watterson (Lemon Demon) (literally only bc dib was listening to that song in the chapter 😭)

Song Of The Siren: (Chapter 5): Juliet (Cavetown)

That’s What You Get When You Let Your Heart Win (Chapter 7): That’s what you get (Paramore)

Calm Before the Storm (Chapter 8): You’re So True (Joesph Arthur)

And while uh- I can’t specify say what the last two chapters are about, I can still say what their theme songs are I think-

Chapter 9: Bullet with Butterfly Wings (The Smashing Pumpkins) + two others but I think that might give to much away-

Chapter 10: Spaceboy (The Smashing Pumpkins)

#kitty giggles #octonauts #the waves that lap the shore au #invader zim #asks #kitty answers #i love asks like these <3 #anon ask #wail of the siren au

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moochilatv · 5 months ago

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Isaac Watters presents: Tired

Too tired at the end of a relationship to talk about it. Too tired at the end of the day to have a glass of wine. The exhaustion of the end of civilization, you start to see the trash piling up, and no one bothers to take it away....its exhausting.

BIO:

Residing on the East Side of Los Angles and deeply embedded in a community of like-minded musicians and artists, Isaac Watters has long been busy dreaming up new ideas. Sure, he’s forever been a creator — using his mind to bring his ideas to life, whether via the visual or musical mediums. But in recent times, the soft-spoken innovator’s output has blossomed in a new and exciting way. “This is finally the record I was always meant to make,” Watters says of his forthcoming debut release, set to be unveiled via Hi-Res Records as a pair of EPs beginning this fall. Funky, minimal and brooding in the most inviting way possible, Watters’ music stops you in your tracks. Armed with a booming baritone that recalls one of his greatest influences, Tom Waits, the singer injects his music with a loose and enticing aura — it immediately draws you in with its moving melodies and sensual grooves.

As Watters admits, in today’s crowded musical landscape, it sometimes requires drawing outside the lines to grab a listener’s ear. “So yeah, it’s definitely kind of weird,” he says with a laugh of his forthcoming new single, “Listen to the Wind,” a stunning, spacey tale of exhilarating escape. “I’m alone in the parking lot burning my tires,” Watters sings with a thick reverb enveloping his already fluid vocals. The song, Watters explains, was born out of a free-flowing writing and recording session with his producer Matt Linesch that found them blasting Weezer songs on Linesch’s studio speakers and dovetailing into a conversation about “getting out of the city and trying to be alone and away from everybody.” Adds Watters, “It’ll grab people’s attention.”

Talking to Watters on a recent summer morning, there’s almost a sense of relief in the musician’s voice. Like so many of us, the pandemic threw his creative plans into disarray. But now, having weathered the storm and arrived on the other side with some of his most thrilling music yet, he’s feeling a sense of calm. “I’m ready to see what lies ahead,” says Watters, speaking not only to the impending release of a plethora of music but also to the potential to hit the road and play his music for audiences. “Recording is fun,” he explains, “but it's not really where my heart is. If it were up to me, I would love to just be playing a show every night. That's really what I enjoy the most about music — performing it.”

Lucky for Watters, he’s now amassed a collection of songs tailor made for the live setting, what with their shifting dynamics paired with his enticing voice. From “Sadness,” which he describes as “maybe one of my favorite ones because I feel like it sums up the record in the least amount of words,” to “Coconut in the Street,” the first time he feels he’s truly put an “LA song” to wax, Watters’ new music transports you to a world where life might be messy but it’s never not entertaining.

“It changes day to day,” he says when describing which of his new songs most resonates with him. Watters stops to explain how, for example, “My Heart is an Ocean” — arguably the album’s clever centerpiece with its sumptuous island grooves — is nearly a decade old but had never been properly recorded. Now, he says, those fans who had been clamoring for him to give the song a proper release will get their wish.

Lucky for Watters and his growing legion of listeners, the musician found a wonderful partner in hi-res records to help bring his creative vision to life. With a focus on putting out records recorded, mixed and mastered all in analog, the label is an audiophile’s dream. When Watters found out that the label’s clientele consisted of audio-heads, he couldn’t have been more psyched. “Oh yeah, it’s great if the album is going to people that really care about how it was made,” he explains. Furthermore, in today’s streaming age, where singles are plentiful and truly engaging with a full-length album is a rarity, Watters believes those that truly care about the process behind an album’s creation are more likely to give the entire thing a spin. “All I can hope for is that someone will sit down and listen to the entire record,” he says. “That’s the goal.”

As for what lies ahead, Watters is filled with a sense of nervous excitement – a feeling only a musician on the precipice of his big moment can truly understand. “This has been a long time coming and now it’s the time to see what this music does,” Watters says proudly. “I can’t wait.”

youtube

Follow in Spotify:

#Isaac Watters #Youtube #Spotify

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basileansoul · 2 years ago

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PICK A ROOM and learn how to further deepen your personal connections

Haiyo~! This is my first pick a pile reading so please go easy on me >< though, I am completely open to feedbacks and such ^^

So how this goes, pick which room you’re drawn to the most and scroll to your pile number :>

I’ve basically asked questions such as how do you connect with people? How do your connections typically start out? What helps you keep a connection? What steers you from a connection? Course of action to take in order to deepen a connection, and what to keep in mind.

Enjoy ^^

Pile 1

- Still by Jeff bernat

- Physical touch + quality time, words of affirmation

- Anxious feeling throughout reading (had to really calm myself down)

- The hierophant, reversed judgement, the devil, reversed 6 of cups, the hanged man, queen of wands

- You may tend to gravitate towards people who know what they want and what they’re doing (or seems like they do)

- You might like being provided structure

- You may like a routine

- You’ve made more or maybe even better connections in an educational or workplace environment

- You may have troubles leaving a connection that doesn’t do you good

- May keep a toxic connection for the sake of constancy and consistency

- You may have, for the lack of a better word, a poor judge of character

- May be stubborn yet anxious

- Possible tropical Gemini and/or Vedic Taurus placements

- “I’ll take whoever’s around”

- “It’s whatever” mindset due to anxiety, but may cause more anxiety soon after

- You may not like codependency or when people have too much going on

- You may need to let loose

- Start letting change happen without going “it’s whatever”

- Adapt to change rather than just let life grab you by the dick and swing you around

- Try taking small risks in unrelated or related (your choice) matters

- For example:

- You typically wear a certain style? Change it up a bit and wear something you usually don’t

- Whether you’re a listener or a talker, try doing the opposite

- If you have trouble saying sorry, just YOLO, fuck your ego for a bit, and apologize

- Applies to the struggle of saying no as well

- Cut down your anxiety by only focusing your energy on what’s needed

- If you’re worried about the things unneeded, just repeat, “It’s for me, and what I believe is best for me. What stays stays, what leaves leaves. It will serve me well in the long run”

- In simpler words, to form a deeper connection, be more open

- “Ego is overrated, let vulnerability flow through”

- This change will (maybe) drastically impact your life for the better

Pile 2

- Boyfriend material, and dinner in bed by Gareth.T

- Words of affirmation + acts of service

- Slight joy, simple contentment

- Reversed knight of pentacles, 3 of pentacles, tower, queen of pentacles, the fool, 1 of cups (6 of cups)

- You tend to start out connections through helping them

- “I helped this person and now I’m accidentally friends with them” comical sort of energy

- The more you feel useful, the more you get attached

- Enjoys taking the leadership role when it calls for it

- Words hurt you more

- When someone is verbally unappreciative, you tend to avoid that connection

- You may be very straightforward or just always straight to the point

- Despite being helpful, you may not display much of your feelings

- You may have the tendency to give more than you take

- You may need to let people in in that cold heart of yours

- You can do so by learning to trust people

- Let people listen to you, help you and understand you

- Maybe start with people close to you or possibly people who are open-minded and light-hearted

- Most of you may already be on this process and just need confirmation that you’re on the right path

- Tarot doesn’t determine that, but as of right now, your current energy leads to nothing but roads of abundance and contentment

- Similar to pile 1, though, this pile is more emotionally detached or stone faced

Pile 3

- dear moon by moon tang, only in dreams by weezer

- Have it been hard lately?

- Have you stopped to check on yourself?

- Reversed 10 of wands, reversed queen of wands, reversed page of pentacles, reversed star, 2 of swords, 10 of swords

- Don’t you think you doubt yourself too much?

- Before you think about others, you may need to do some shadow work

- Throughout the reading, I kept getting distracted by the slightest of things, could you be avoiding something and distracting yourself with multiple things?

- You tend to find people when you’re at your lowest or connections come when you’re in need of help (you are like the other end of pile 2’s way of connection)

- When you carry too much, people “introduce” themselves as a potential pillar in your support system

- Have I worded that too harshly?

- Those who are confident attract you

- You may better enjoy the company of those with higher status or skill level as you are

- Those that are like mentors

- On the other hand, you may not like people similar to you or are constantly unsure

- Keep in mind, confidence is an illusion

- Those confident may be the most unsure people on this universe

- Don’t let them deter you from getting closer

- Do you have the tendency to idealize people then get disappointed?

- You may need to be more rational in these connections and try to see a person who they really are

- You may need to actually get the know the person rather than put them on a pedestal that they’re this teacher of yours that rarely makes mistakes

- They’re so much more even if them being a teacher to you means a lot

- Take time for yourself

- Step back and assess yourself

- Reflect

- Try to gain self awareness

- When you find yourself idealizing or glorifying a person, stop yourself and tell yourself that everyone is in need of healing

- Everyone makes mistakes because if not, they’re either lying straight to your face or they’re smart enough to hide it well

- The future is bright

- This is a lesson you must do alone

- No one knows you better than you

- In order to deepen your personal connections, first deepen the connection you have with yourself

Pile 4

- (Only) about live demo by grentperez and time goes “bye” by jex nwalor

- quickest pulls I’ve ever done

- You may be fast-paced, a very busy person or quite spontaneous

- The lovers, reversed 9 of swords, death, 4 of swords, 5 of cups, page of pentacles

- You tend to make or “seal” connections when you’re at your happiest or enjoying yourself

- Some of you may be the one to reach out to these connections

- Some of you may prefer being reached out to

- Very vague, but I struggle to get a read

- Do you guys even have time to get to know people? Or don’t show much of yourself and keep up a facade?

- You may either wait for connections to fade, get turned off by people who truly discover who you are or try to change you (e.g. get you out of your comfort zone)

- Maybe you need to relax and let people see you

- Possible Saturnian (Capricorn and Aquarius) or fire placements

- “Time doesn’t run anywhere, it is linear and takes its time to get to the next hour”

- Not fully sure what it means, but I assume take your time and slow down

- The world isn’t chasing you or dawning in on you

- Its still here, you’re still here in a constant space

- Do you daydream a lot?

- Maybe you need to snap back to reality

- Live in the present, in the moment

- Have you tried mindfulness? It may be just the thing for you

- Woah, a salesman reference

- If you mourn time lost and accumulate regrets from missing out, maybe it’s time to change that

- As previously stated, live in the moment, relax and enjoy

- Maybe then you’ll further deepen connections with people

- Try not to backtrack on things too often

- OH maybe go on hikes, road trips, or just be outdoors

- Nature may help put you in a state of clarity and oneness with the present

- REMEMBER: the present is in front of you, don’t chase after what’s past or what hasn’t happened yet

Pile 5

- Split by NIKI, friendzone by UMI, you’ll be alright by milky day

- Reversed queen of wands, reversed 8 of cups, reversed 6 of wands, queen of swords, death, 8 of wands (knight of wands)

- A carefree spirit, eh?

- I enjoyed doing this reading maybe because of the music or maybe due to your energy

- Very sweet and kind or more so charming

- I am usually quite the clouded person, but I felt light

- Though, under that, you’re quite insecure, huh?

- Do you feel like you have to live up to something?

- Do you feel the need to meet expectations?

- Or do you tend to connect with people who makes you feel that way

- But somehow you stay, why?

- Perhaps, you see good in everyone?

- Oh. The energy kind of shifted

- I’m not sure whether to say this, but all balls, yolo

- It’s my first pick a pile, anyway, I can learn and grow through my wrongs

- When people say “this person’s not doing you good” do you stay still? Fully knowing they’re right? Do you think you can change people?

- I don’t think the people you stay with are toxic, just maybe weighing you down in some way

- I feel a martyr, saviour, white knight like complex

- Some of you may have said complexes or some of you may truly be good

- I’ll let you determine which one you are

- Either way, what deters you from a connection is when people start using you

- When the connection’s no longer genuine, you think, “this sucks lol”

- Or when they don’t display any signs of change or don’t seem to be as influenced by you as much as you’d like them to be

- Please keep a clear mind

- Maybe you don’t communicate as well and tend to work on your own?

- Communication is key for any connection

- Be honest to others, but most importantly, yourselves

- You can’t please or save everyone

- I believe this pile is quite mature, some may just be a bit noncommittal, perhaps?

- Maybe you need a change, though?

- Be on the receiving end of your act

- Let people handle themselves and learn on their own

- Or maybe you’re already satisfied with the way you are and just need to communicate better

- Communication is a deal you make yourself, you just got to speak, which is easier said than done

- That’s why you YOLO it

- I apologize for the lack of advice, this pile had my brain dancing on the center stage

- Woah, this was all over the place, eh?

- This pile took longer than the rest, I may have enjoyed your guys’ energy a bit too much and lost sight of the purpose of the reading

Hope you guys enjoyed the reading >< my asks are open so feel free to give feedback or ask any questions :>

#tarot #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a photo #pick a card #tarot reading

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trouble-in-space · 2 years ago

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hey! i was wondering if i could get a stranger things, marvel, & harry potter ship? sorry if it’s a lot i cannot choose between the three, no pressure to do all of them though! any gender is good with me.

i’m a demi-girl who uses she/they pronouns and i’m unlabelled. i like to dye and bleach my hair a lot so it’s usually vibrant with whatever color hair dye i had at the time, i’m a bit chubby and barely 5’1. my MBTI personality thing is INTP and i’m an aries sun, aquarius moon, & virgo rising. i’m an introvert and have a lot of trouble making friends or talking to people i don’t already know. i can be kind of difficult and have a hard time managing my anger sometimes but i always try to apologise and make things right in the end. i love collecting things; i have a funko pop collection, a comic collection, a dvd collection, a mug collection & many many more collections though my dvd collection is definitely my favourite and my largest. i’m a huge movies lover, i love rom-coms & horror movies the most but superhero movies have a special place in my heart too. i have a bit of an alternative but comfy style. my favourite colors are green-screen green & lilac. my music taste is very hard to explain but my favourite music artists are taylor swift, weezer. mitski, & waterparks, in no particular order (taylor swift is for sure number one though). i love playing board & card games, watching movies, listening to music, rambling to whoever would listen about my hyperfixations.

sorry if this is way too long, i got a little carried away but thank you so much for reading this and hopefully giving me a ship. have a lovely day!

Thank you for submitting love!! I love how almost every ship i get y’all mention Taylor, like i love her sm

I’m gonna give you a stranger things and harry potter ship i hope that’s okay!<33

Stranger Things:

Hear me out, Nancy Wheeler. I think she fits because you remind me a lot of Robin (Ronance for the win). Nancy’s kind of in the middle so she’s understand your introverted nature. She would be very patient with you when you’re angry, and would totally help you try to manage you’re anger but only if you wanted her to. Nancy also has her fair share of problems so she’s prepared for you guys to work through those things. She would always be buying you things for you’re various collections. She’d love Taylor (not as much as Steve tho). Will complain about having to play board games with you but she always ends up having the best time and begging to play more.

Harry Potter:

Luna!! The immediate vibe i got was for Luna. What jumped out at me the most was her calm aura and how that would mesh well with you. I think having that constant calming vibe around would help with you’re anger when you feel it. (i’m the same way and calming auras always seem to have a good effect) She also has all kinds of collection so i can see you guys always getting each other things for your own collections. You’re styles would go together really well!! Luna LOVES board games, she would always want to play. And she’s a total Mitski stan like 100%

#stranger things #ships #stranger things volume 2 #stranger things ships #ship requests #stranger things ship request #nancy stranger things #nancy wheeler #harry potter ship request #harry potter ships #harry potter #luna lovegood #luna lovegood x reader #nancy wheeler x reader

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tylerwritez · 3 years ago

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7:45 p.m. Sunday June 20th

Okay well... writing about the entirety of my day is gonna be. Quite the task.

Whatever. I'm dedicated to making this blog A Thing.

Today was Father's Day, so the first thing I did was get up and go downstairs. Gave my dad his presents. He made us pancakes. (I definitely ate too much today... but tommorow is monday so itll be easier to restrict)

We are, watched youtube, then we drove to Wabuman Lake. Idk,, the drive was just that: a typical car ride in which I struggle to find "car friendly" songs, aka songs that everyone will like... aka anything but metal and vocaloid... aka Radiohead, Weezer and Soda Stereo XD

When we got there, we rented a yellow paddleboat, which is this clunky plastic boat that you pedal to move, like some weird water bicycle. It was sunny, and honestly? I've always found being on the water to be calming. After that, we got ice cream (I got Blueberry Cheesecake flavour, my sister R got Cookies N Cream, and my dad got Burgundy Cherry)

I noted that there were at least 2 historical buildings there, along with... I forgot what I was gonna say. Nothing important.

Oh yeah, lots of cool old shiny cars.

We drove back. Got home, exhausted. I cleaned a bit. Idk. Didnt do much until after supper. Since we had fast food for lunch, we only ate a piece of bread and fruit smoothies for supper. We went out, I got a monster XD even tho my parents told me not to...

I got home, took a shower. While I was in the shower my dad got pissed at me for eating some of his chocolate but HE WAS SO SO SO MAD I was thinking to myself he cant be this mad over some choclate but you never know with my parents... they kinda hate me but also dont at the same time it's weird and hard to navigate.

Anwyays when I went downstairs he just. Seemed to have forgotten it ever existed and I mean, if he didnt mention it I wasn't gonna either. I did some homework then "went to sleep" aka went to my room, turned off the light, and pretended to sleep but actually talked to people online

People keep inviting me to hang out with them and I just hope my parents say yes to it all...

My friend Bee on Tuesday, Jay on Wednesday, on Saturday a group picnic...

If they say no to any of this I'll cry /hj

My talk with Jay tonight: I want to fuck him again RIGHT NOW. GET IN MY FUCKINF BED. RIGHT NOWWWW ugh. But also I noticed that since I explained one of my tone tags to him... HE USED ONE IN CONVO WITH ME. And idk. That made me so happy? I dont know. I like how he proves consistently and constantly that he CARES about being considerate and cares about me.

That's a lot of the letter C but yeah.

And he said at some point that he missed

My body... and my shitty nerd gaming stuff and like. Omg he LIKES MY INTERESTS. I DIDNT BORE HIM TALKING ABOUT COMIC BOOKS AND VIDEO GAMES! SCORE. also he said he'd be down to cuddle without fucking which is. Great too... since I'm touchstarved and well... I call him Daddy. Nuff said.

As for Star... sometimes she just says shit that concerns me like it's nothing and I never know how to respond because I cant help her! I'm not a fucking mental health professional.

... when I told her mY shit she wasnt one either... why do I even try n help. Why dont I just tell her to go to therapy?

I'm angry at her a bit actually. She says shit like "haha just purged" and I'm like.... okay??? What do u want me to say to that.

Or like,,, I NEED TONE TAGS, OKAY??? I DO. this is mainly why I'm mad. She keeps making jokes without /j and I dont register them as jokes.... or maybe they aren't jokes at all and she just says they're jokes cos I get upset.

Sometimes instead of actually telling me how she feels, she uses this emoticon and... I dont understand what shes tryna tell me. And it keeps stressing me out. Idk. I told her look I dont understand it and she said "I'm tired of this Jude, it's a fucking emoticon" and like...

She tells me all the time no ur not overreacting dont let people tell you that you are and here she is. Telling me I'm overreacting. OUCH. THAT ACTUALLY MADE ME CRY IRL. STOP INVALIDATING MY FEELINGS PLEASE.

It actually hurt me. Like I'm fr crying right now because. Ouch. How hard is it to just put a fucking "/j" after ur words? How hard is it to... use words and explain how u feel instead of giving me a straight faced emoticon. Its frustrating.

Also she keeps saying shit like "omg ur never horny what's wrong w u omg I'm the only one with a sex drive in this relationship how come u never initiate anything I need to fuck someone maybe *sends pic of model* maybe her" which like. A) is ignoring all the times I DID initiate stuff and B) makes me feel inadequate and like. I dont know. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not enough.

:/ I cant really be mad at her for my own brain being stupid.

Why am I so stupid? How come I never understand when people are joking? How come I have these weird things I do to feel comfortable? Why do I twitch and flap my wrists? Why is my ability to sleep restricted by the amount of weight on top of me (I need lots of weight)?

Why am I the worst person ever? I'm being 100 percent serious. My brain doesnt work! It doesnt. My emotions are too strong. They fuck everything up. I hate myself. Like, when Star said "I'm tired of this Jude, it's a fucking emoticon", I started crying. But when Jay said "I always want you to feel comfortable around me", I immediately felt such love toward him and I told him I love you... but I had to say it was as friends. Cos we have a "friends with benefits" thing going on... not even an actual relationship.

Well now I'm sad that he doesnt like me romantically but whatever. Hes too perfect and sweet anywayssss he deserves better than me.

Wait. Where does that leave me?

Alone? Again?

Alone?

ALONE????

Maybe I deserve it... but I actually genuinely cant live like that. I cant. I cant live. Without love. My parents fucked me up like that 🤪

But also I realized that I'm a lot happier in good relationships where people show me they love me and care about me and such.

FUCK JAY JUST TOLD ME HOW MUCH HE LIKES ME... even if it's just as a friendship thing.... I appreciate it so much. Hes so fucking sweet it hurts. I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM SO SO MUCH. he told me, our sex can be rough but our relationship has to be built off trust and respect... LITERALLY FUCK ME RIGHT NOW.

Update we are now officially "best friends forever" but we also kiss and fuck and cuddle okay. That's a thing. I LOVE HIM. it's okay though. I don't know I said yeah let's be bffs then I physcially cringed. It's okay though. I'll be fine. It functions as a sexy romance thing anwyays.

I love him so much. Hes the best. Fucking hell. Hes the kindest person ever.

Also can Star please stop fucking with me. She said she'd stop using the emoticon and I said "thanks" and then she used a weird emoji to react to my thanks because she wanted to "acknowledge that she read my message without liking it".... oh so you dont like it??? What??? I said "okay" and she was like "yikes, you upset?" And I said idk cos I am but whatever and she USED ANOTHER SFUPID DUCKINF EMOTICON THAT I DONT UNDERSTAND WITH THE WORD OKAY OMFG. OMFG. PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT THAT MEANDS. OH MY GODDDD. I'm angry.

Fucking hell. I just wish... whatever.

If Jay liked me ROMANTICALLY as well... perfect life.

Whatever.

My parents have fucked me up really badly. I know so. Today I saw a comic where a kid started crying while getting yelled at and their mom HUGGED THEM. Omfg. If I cry when my parents yell at me they just yell more. The best thing I can do is stay quiet. Fucking hell. Fuck. I wish I got hugged. When I was upset.

Its 1:03 am. Fuck all this emotional turmoil I'm SLEEPING. Fuck this. FUCK MY PARENTS, FUCK STAR, FUCK MOVING AND FUCK SCHOOL. And FUCK STAR.

#JudeJournals #judejournals

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achtung-attitude · 4 years ago

Photo

CHAPTER 38: Weezer - Part 3

Toto lurches forward, and unable to steady himself with his feet encased in dry ice, WEEZER keeps him from toppling face down onto the convention floor. Where the dry ice touches, frostbite raises blisters on his flesh, turning it blue, then black, then peels it away to reveal bright crimson underneath.

He is still in better shape than Kilo.

“Fuck, fuck, no no no…! Kilo! KILO!” Moya calls out, and gets no response. He lies face down, his breath shallowly. Blood leaks out of the deep gashes in his chest and pools beneath him.

She crawls to his side, clutching her own wounded abdomen and shaking still from the symptoms of pneumonia.

A voice screams bloody murder raises over the general moaning din of the convention floor. She pauses, startled by the sound, and spots someone writhing on the floor as his leg twists around the wrong way with audible, sickening cracks. Near him, a cut forms on a woman’s head, staining her auburn hair scarlet. Wounds appear on almost everyone in the centre, but some are minor, scratches and scrapes from childhood misadventures, nonetheless summoned out of the past by WEEZER.

“WEEZER is… a time-traveller…” Toto murmurs, a terrifying calm in his voice despite the damage inflicted on him, “It reaches into your soul, your memories… searching through your personal timeline for any moment of pain… Of suffering… Then it pulls it back into the present! Then it finds something else, and adds onto it… Carefully, methodically… until every horror you ever went through comes crashing down on you all at once! … Life ain’t nothing but suffering, right, Moya?”

She doesn’t answer, but scowls at him while trying to quell the shivers running down her spine. Toto goes on, still as calm as ever. He glances at Kilo, “Sometimes it don’t take that long. Looks like… he only needed one shot. But not you, huh, Moya?... You’re a lot tougher than your buddy… I hope you don’t think I’m mad…!” He gestures to the ice clinging to his body “Yeah, this hurts real bad, but that’s on me… My mistake was underestimating him. I should’ve remembered that you two was the ones that took down Tarantula… I wanted you to know that, maybe help you find a little peace… Before you died.”

Moya stands, struggling to get to her feet in a token gesture of defiance. She can hardly see straight, and WITCH MOUNTAIN’s appearance inspires no confidence, as it’s barely tangible. In the state she is in, she has no hope of matching WEEZER’s speed. Through bleary vision, she watches it wind it fist back. Under her breath, she mutters “Sorry, kid…” and winces as WEEZER brings its fist forward.

But before it connects, SATURN BARZ emerges, rising up from the ground and batting the enemy Stand’s arm away. Then, with the same momentum, it swings its other arm up and drives a crane strike into WEEZER’s face.

“AAAAHHHH!!!!!” Toto cries, as the force of the attack transfers to him, knocking him down like a bowling pin. He groans, then begins screaming again as steam and the scent of frying meat emanates from the left side of his face. The skin bubbles and melts away, exposing his teeth. Tears stream from his eyes, but he clenches his jaw through the pain. WEEZER picks him and sets him upright again, to face his opponent.

Kilo also stands, shakily, every inch of him drenched in blood from wounds that SATURN BARZ attempts to heal. However, as soon as the wounds close, the open right back up again, spilling forth more lifeblood. He attempts to take a step forward, and nearly collapses yet again.

“I wasth only…” Toto hisses, his speech almost illegible due to his brand new disfigurement, “Supphosed to khill the two of you! Brother Dusst… Wanted that Joesthar girl for himsthelf… But! Now I sthee… we can’t kheep takhing you lightly…! That’sth why…! THAT’STH WHY THIS WHOLE PLACE HASTH TO GO DOWN!! WEEZER!!!!!!!”

Toto’s Stand slams it palms onto the floor, and for a moment, nothing happens. Moya glances around the room, expecting some new horror to appear at any moment. And sure enough, it does, as the space begins to shake. Subtly at first, only enough to disturb the light fixtures in the ceiling. But before she even knows it, dust is falling from the ceilings and cracks are forming in the walls.

“What have… you done…?!” She asks, catching Kilo when he loses his balance and fighting to keep her own balance.

“Earthquake…” Toto replies, and immediately, Moya understands, “Twenty yearsth agho, a 6.6 sscale earthquake hit Anaheim… desthroyed the bastheball sthadium… And the aftersthocksth reached all the way out here… thisth convention centrer now sthands…!”

A light fixture detaches from the ceiling and falls, nearly crushing someone. Cracks form in the glass windows. The pillars holding up the mezzanine balcony lurch dangerously. Moya, still shivering from her childhood fever and losing blood from the hole in her gut, puts Kilo down and begins moving towards Toto.

“Moya, wait…!” he mutters, but she ignores him.

“Gotta do something,” she thinks, “Even if this place is made to withstand a quake, if it goes on too long, he’ll bring the whole place down on top of our heads…! I’m in bad shape, but so is he…! He can’t even move on his own right now, and…! His Stand is busy summoning this quake…! I can do it…! Just need to get close…!

An impact like a vehicle collision to her face stops her in her tracks. Blood shoots out of her nose like a water fountain and splashes on Toto’s shirt. He doesn’t seem to notice. Similar invisible impacts collide with her, all over her body.

“You’ve got to be kidding…!” she chokes, even in the throes of her trauma, “This is… Phantasma…!”

“Phantasthma…? Ohh, right… I remember now…” the Congregation assassin says, absentmindedly, “That’s what we here inna firsth place… So we can avenge da big lady… WEEZER startsth from most shevere to least when it pullsth out injuries… With the state you in, sturvive that beating a second time…”

Moya tries to guard instinctively, but it is pointless. The strikes hit her nonetheless, the invisible fists of her nemesis and mentor pummelling her over and over. “Is this it...? Is this how it ends for me...?” she thinks between beatings “Useless, unable to help those I swore to protect...? Again...? Am I going to let these people take everything from me again...?

“Shizuka... You defeated Phantasma... She was my responsibility, but... I couldn’t even put a scratch on her... in the end, all I could do was sit back and... let you take care of my problems... hell with that... TO HELL WITH THAT! I will not die like this...! Not without giving something back!”

Like a sputtering film image, WITCH MOUNTAIN appears. Moya roars, and her Stand’s long, oily hair flies wildly in all directions, sending its viscous dark fluid into the air. Around her, people groan in agony. Those conscious enough wail in terror as the ceiling above cracks and begins to collapse.

“What’sth that... You gonna try usthe your sanctemoniousth power on me?” Toto asks over the carnage, “Make me sthee da ‘error o’ my wayst’? Ya can forget it. It ain’t gonna work on me! It’s outta my handsth, Fate decided that this wasth to happen! I don’t have any guilt!!”

Moya ignores him. “It’s not like Phantasma…!” she thinks, “I still have my Stand! There’s still something I can do…! And since I can, I have to…!”

Out loud, she cries “KILO!”, just as the ceiling begins to collapse. Bleeding out, he still finds the strength to raise his head and his arms, extending SATURN BARZ hands to touch the black oil that flies over everything, covering the walls.

“Toto…!” Moya keeps thinking, falling to one knee, “You and Tarantula…! Dust, too! You’re all the same! You really don’t have any guilt! Because you pawn it off onto some higher power, Fate or God…! It’s too hard for you to be good, so you use them as excuses to keep being what you are! Well I’m not like that! No matter what happens, no matter how we’re hurt! I’m not like you guys! And neither… is he…!”

At that point, Moya loses consciousness, but Toto doesn’t notice. He is focused upward, staring at the blue sky exposed by the collapsing ceiling. “Not… possible…” he mutters, and yet it is. The ceiling has collapsed, but the rubble hangs suspended in mid-air, held up by glistening black columns. WITCH MOUNTAIN’s oil, solidified and shaped into a safety net, keeping the giant chunks of stone from crushing the helpless bystanders below.

“That’s from… when Tarantula first gave you a Stand…”

With a thumb, Kilo pushes the disc back into his head and glares at the enemy Stand user. “Now it’s my turn. What’s the worst thing that ever happened to you? Don’t bother answering…” he summons SATURN BARZ and flexes its talons, “Because I’m about to do worse!”

“Let’st see… who diesth firstt then... KILO STAPLESH!!!”

#jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #achtung attitude #kilo staples #moya pezzente #toto #weezer #ch38

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mikkomacko · 6 years ago

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Sweet As Honey 1

Harry hasn't seen his mother in years.

The last time he looked into her eyes she was crying on the porch, firm in her decision to kick him out at just sixteen, but heartbroken at the sight of her baby boy climbing into his old car that's stacked with boxes of his things.

He hadn't seen her when he managed to complete high school through homeschooling and sent her a message that he hoped she was proud despite their falling out.

He hadn't seen her when he won his first fight in under four minutes, knocking his opponent out cold. She wasn't standing in the crowd cheering for him because she was sitting at home not thinking of him.

He hadn't seen her when Harry got his first serious girlfriend. His girl, y/n, had been invited to one of his matches courtesy of the ring owner after she helped design the new logos and posters for his underground boxing league.

Harry hadn't seen her when he moved in with y/n, the both of them purchasing an apartment in the middle of the city, close to his gym and the stadium she worked at. Even y/n's mother, who hadn't always loved Harry, came and helped the couple move.

He hadn't seen her when he sent her the wedding invitation, the delicate ivory paper covered in evidence that Harry may be a fighter, but he's still more of a lover.

Likewise, he hadn't seen her at the wedding either. His mother didn't help him tie his tie or give him a pep talk or see him tear up when his beautiful y/n walked down the aisle to him.

But most importantly, Harry didn't see his mother on the day he became a father. She wasn't in the waiting room to hug him and meet her grandson. She didn't get to see up close that Harry was still gentle enough to care for a newborn. She missed the greatest day of Harry's life.

He had come to terms with it. He had messed up, it wasn't right of him to hide his love for boxing from his mother. It wasn't right of him to finally tell her after he'd beaten the hell out of her selfish boyfriend because Harry's temper had flared after the man was mean to his mother.

Harry knew one day he would be near her again, he just hoped it wouldn't be the day he'd being burying her. But every attempt he made to reach out to her was futile and he had a lingering fear that she wouldn't be seeing him the next time he saw her.

But God was merciful for not only had He given Harry a beautiful wife and son, he gave Harry the surprise of his mother in a place he'd thought he'd never see her in.

Harry's pulling into his reserved parking spot when his phone rings, cutting off the Weezer song his phone was playing.

"Morning darling!" Harry answers.

"Morning H." Y/n greets, her voice filling his car. But that's not the only sound spilling through the Bluetooth. The SpongeBob SquarePants theme song is muffled in the background, over powdered by the high pitch wails of a certain baby.

"Oh no," Harry gasps, frowning at the sound of Arlo in such distress this early. His baby should still be sleeping, not crying his little heart out. It's too early for tears. "Why's my little man crying?"

"Someone's very upset because daddy left this morning without giving kisses." She scolds, tone light despite the crying baby.

Harry's heart plummets, guilt creeping up in his chest. "M' sorry love. You two were sleeping so well, didn't want to wake you." He says apologetically.

"You're gonna have to make it up to him," She warns. "poor baby just wanted to see you this morning."

Harry's heart falls even more, a disgruntled feeling sitting like a rock in his belly. He knew he should've just woken them, given Arlo a soft peck on the cheek even if waking him early makes him cry. Harry would be able to calm him in minutes, tucking his baby back into his crib and kissing y/n before heading out.

"I can come back right now." Harry offers, already reaching to put the car in reverse. "Haven't even gone inside yet."

"No!" Y/n exclaims, her giggle filling the car. "I can handle the little monster until lunch time."

"You sure?" Harry presses. "Don't want him fussy because I'm a wanker."

Y/n laughs at that, the joyous sound making him grin. The grin grows when he notices that Arlo isn't crying anymore.

"Hey!" Harry cheers. "You calmed him down!"

"Told you I can handle him." She teases. "Now get inside and punch some things. I'm expecting a knockout on Friday."

"Yes ma'am." Harry replies, his dignified tone breaking as he chuckles. "Love you sweetheart."

"We love you too Harry."

Harry waits for her hang up, hooking his gym bag over his shoulder and exiting the car.

Inside, Harry notices that it's not packed, the morning rush having just left. Happy to have the gym to himself so he can focus on training, he heads towards the locker room.

"Styles!"

Mark is at the desk leading to the public locker rooms, waving Harry over. Lightly sighing at the delay, Harry changes course and crosses the cement floor to greet the man he's known for years.

"What's up?"

"Lady came by," Mark chirps, rapping his knuckles on top of the sign in desk. "was asking for you."

Lips pursed, Harry racks his brain for any clue as to why a lady would be looking for him. He used to get that a lot back in his early twenties before he was married. Woman would show up and ask for him, claiming to be family friends but just trying to convince him to take them out.

Once he publicly announced his marriage, the visits lessened and when the city caught sight of Harry's first born, they ceased completely.

"Did she say why?"

Mark shakes his head.

"Alright," Harry clicks his tongue. "if she stops by again tell her to contact Nick, I don't take drop by visits from people that aren't family."

Mark nods, the conversation coming to an end as Harry thanks him and marches back towards the private locker room.

Who could possibly be trying to get a hold him now by stopping at his gym?

"I miss our little bugger." Harry states, heart aching for his baby.

Even though Arlo's already 7 months old and has been sending every other Friday with y/n's parents for quite some time, Harry always misses him terribly.

Y/n misses him too, often out of habit placing his water bottle further back on the table in his room to keep out of reach of a baby or making sure Harry doesn't leave stray equipment laying around because Arlo could trip on it.

But this is his private room on Friday on a fight night. Arlo has never stepped foot in this room for more than a few minutes and has only been at the ring for an hour at most. There's no need for either of them to be taking the precautions of having a newly crawling (wiggling) baby but they still do.

And following these habits only makes it so much more gut wrenching when they realize their baby isn't even there with them.

Y/n gives him a small smile, looking up from where she's delicately taping his fingers to give him the same bittersweet look he's sure is present in his eyes.

"It's only been a couple hours." She assures, looking back at Harry's knuckles. She tears off the roll of tape, firmly patting the end down and moving on to the next finger. "And he loves seeing his nana."

"I know," Harry mumbles. "and I know he's been going over there every other week for the past few months but I still miss him. S'our baby, feels weird to not have him here, babbling about something."

Y/n nods, bringing Harry's hand to kiss the tattoo on his ring finger in good luck. She starts taping over the thin band inked into his skin.

"Don't want him here anyway," Y/n comforts, gently squeezing his fingers like she can physically transfer a sense of ease into his veins through his fingers. "the fighting's too much for him."

Harry hums in agreement. "Sometimes I don't want you here either."

She doesn't look up or verbally respond, but the quirk of her eyebrow tells him to expand.

"Hate when I'm getting my ass beat or the fight's gotten really bloody. I don't want my sweet girl to have to see that, it's bad enough you have to see my all banged up after. Least I could do is try and make it an easy fight."

"I knew what I was asking for when I met you," She says softly, finishing up the tape on his last finger. "and when we started dating," She kisses his knuckle. "and when I married you."

Smiling to himself, Harry cups her jaw in his taped hands and brings her toward him until their lips meet in the middle.

Somehow, she's managed to spread her grace into him with a simple kiss.

He's limping down the sidewalk, the bitter cold air stinging the open wounds on his knuckles and eyebrow but slowly numbing it to just a throb.

Y/n is pressed into his side, arm around his waist and the other pressed into his sore abdomen to provide him with some stability.

Harry winces when she presses into his tender side, the burning sensation telling him that he's probably cracked a rib.

"Sorry Harry." She mumbles, voice a lot duller than he's used to.

It's not until they're sat in his bathroom in his apartment, the lights showing him her pale cheeks and bitten bottom lip, that he realizes she's freaking out.

He's sat on the edge of the tub, ice pack pressed to his bare side that's blossoming with purple spots. Y/n is dabbing at the dry blood on his eyebrow, careful to not disturb the wound as she tries to clean him up.

Her eyes are wide with sadness, flickering over his face every few minutes just to make sure he's ok.

His body feels heavy, his head throbs painfully on his forehead and his chest burns when he inhales but not of that compares to the ache in his heart from the defeated look on his girl's face (he hopes she's his girl).

"M'sorry," He croaks, vision blurry around the edges. He's not sure if it's from exhaustion or emotion. "sorry you're doing this. You're too pretty to be cleaning my bruises."

The edges of her lips quirk up slightly. "You're too pretty to be getting bruises." She responds, voice a little croaky.

Harry forces a humorless chuckle. "I'm serious. You didn't sign up for this. It's selfish of me to make you take care of me like this. I'm so sorry love." He's sniffling, something wet dripping down his nose and inching towards his top lip.

"I don't care." Y/n says simply, using the sleeve of her jacket to wipe over his lips and gently under his eyes which he assumes are crying. "You love boxing, I can see it in your face when you're in the ring. And yeah, I didn't sign up for this, I hate seeing you hurt but if you're hurt, I want to be the one that takes care of you. "

Harry's certain he's crying when a small sob leaves his chest, painfully vibrating off his sides. This is the first fight he's lost since he started dating y/n, the first time his wounds were bad enough to scare her, and the first time he's cried in front of her.

But he doesn't care, he's certain that she's a God send and knows that she would never think less of him fur blubbering into the sleeve of her jacket.

"I signed up for you Harry," She cups his jaw in one of her hands. "bruises and all. I'll gladly hold the ice pack and clean up the blood because it's all for you."

He manages to nod, not knowing what to say but feeling better at the content look in her eyes. He leans forward, ignoring the burn in his side and fits his lips to hers.

"Please welcome to the ring, Harry Styles!"

Y/n follows close behind Harry, holding onto his wrist as he pulls her through the crowd and towards the ring.

Cheers erupt around them, fans reaching over the barriers to encouragingly swat at his shoulders. He shakes them off, pulling his wife towards her special seating area.

They make it to his corner, the cheers dying down but the energy in the room is still buzzing excitedly.

"Tell Nick if ya need anything, all right?" Harry says, mouth close to her ear so she can hear him.

She nods, hands squeezing his forearms in assurance. Tucking his gloves between his thighs, Harry reaches over his shoulders to unclasp the necklace that's holding his wedding band and fastens it around y/n's neck.

She gives him a smile, helping him tug on and tightly strap his boxing gloves. Harry gives her a peck on the forehead, his way to telling her he'll be fine.

Y/n squeezes his hands through his gloves. "Good luck baby." She murmurs, giving him one last smile before turning on her heel and heading to the stands.

Liam, Harry's corner man, slips his mouth piece in between Harry's teeth. Together, they slide through the ropes and into the ring, Liam rubbing out Harry's tense shoulders.

He's giving Harry a pep talk as Harry looks around the sea of people. His eyes meet y/n's and Nick's, both of them looking at him with a mixture of nerves and encouragement.

Harry fails to notice the two pair of eyes that are peering from behind his wife, the only emotion in them being fear. He fails to notice that those eyes are new around here but they're not new to him, for they belong to Harry's mother and sister.

Anne is clutching tightly to Gemma's hand, biting the inside of her cheek as she watches her son take another blow to the cheek.

Harry stumbles on his feet a bit but he shakes it off, retaliating by firing a spurt of rapid jabs to his opponents ribs.

The man falls back against the ropes, crowd cheering around them as Harry's quick to charge the man and deliver a punch to the side of his head.

"He's doing good." The man in front of Gemma praises. "Real good. Especially after his last fight."

The woman next to him, the one that had kissed her son and held his hand, nods. "His week off was good. He spent a lot of time at the gym, watched some of Rosario's other matches. He was ready for tonight."

"I think the other man is Rosario." Gemma whispers in Anne ear, obviously listening in on the conversation Harry's girlfriend is having. Anne nods, focusing on the ring but keeping her ears trained on the pair in front of them.

Harry takes a harsh punch to the jaw that has Anne audibly wincing, reaching up to cover her grimace with her hand. She waits for her son to topple over, to fall to his knees and for tears to well in his eyes as he gazes up at her just like he did the last time she saw him.

But he's not sixteen anymore. He's not just a boy picking a fight with the man that was filling in for his late father. Anne is shocked to see him grit his teeth, shaking out his arms and charging after Rosario.

"Oh he's pissed off now." The man in front says giddily. "Harry's going to ruin him."

The girl shakes her head in disbelief. "He promised me a knockout." She says, slightly laughing. "After how bad he was last time, he told me he'd make tonight an easy fight."

As if the woman's words were magic, Harry crushes his right fist into the side of Rosario's head. His head snaps the other way only to be met with Harry's left fist and then pushed back when Harry delivers a final uppercut.

Rosario falls like a game of Jenga, knees buckling and crashing to ring. The stands erupts into cheers, hundreds of people shooting to their feet and jumping around.

Anne heaves a breath of relief, glad to see Harry steadily walking back to his corner. He's greeted with a hug from his corner man, not bothering to look back as they carry an unconscious Rosario to his corner.

The pair in front of them stays seated, watching the warehouse slowly empty as everyone rushes home or to the front booth to collect the money they've won.

Taking cues from the two that obviously know Harry, Anne and Gemma wait. Nerves bubble in her gut. What is she supposed to say Harry? She doubts he'll even talk to her, not after all she's done. She kicked out her own son over a man that she now knows wasn't treating her right. Harry had been right this whole time and she was to broken to see it.

The pair rises from their seats, descending the few steps until they reach the floor. Security opens the gate, allowing the two near the ring.

Harry's climbed out of the ropes, wiping at the sweat on his face and neck. A cocky smile lifts his lips, bringing out a familiar set of dimples when he spots the girl walking towards him.

It makes Anne's heart ache when he drapes the towel over his head, snaking his arms around her and pulling her into his damp chest. The girl's giggle is audible from here, heartwarming and bubbly as Harry silences her with a quick kiss.

"He looks happy." Gemma croaks next to Anne, voice on the verge of a sob. Anne's not sure if that statement is supposed to make her proud or guilty. She's missed out on so much of her son's life.

Anne nods, eyes watering slightly. She's wiping away a tear when Harry pulls the towel off his head, eyes ghosting over the girl and meeting Anne's for a second before continuing on.

But she notices him freeze, arms considerably tightening around the girl and he returns his gaze to his mothers, no hint of happiness on his face at all.

Anne freezes too, staring back at her son. She's not sure if she's supposed to smile or not. If she's supposed to wave or greet him in any kind of way. She feels Gemma squeeze her bicep and Harry's eyes flash over to his sister.

He gives her a warmer look than he did his mother, but he's still glaring at them, the bruises on his cheekbone making him appear even more sinister.

"Gemma?"

Harry's fingers feel numb as he stuffs the last of his clothes into his duffel bag. He doesn't recognize the room around him. It's devoid of posters and pictures, of his books and records. There's no scattered shoes or stray school bag. There's no mess on the floor or soccer game on the TV. The room is completely empty, empty of him.

Harry zips up the bag, tossing it over his shoulder. He keeps his gaze away from the empty walls as he leaves the room, stopping to close the door and continue down the hallway.

He pauses in front of the door to the restroom, knowing Gemma is inside cleaning up the man that Harry had beaten bloody a few hours ago. He lifts his hand to softly knock, chest aching as realizes he's about to say goodbye to his sister, to the person that's always been his best friend.

"They don't want to see you." His mom cuts him off. Harry freezes, dropping his hand. He doesn't look away from the door.

Gemma doesn't want to say goodbye? She doesn't want to give him one last hug, comfort him one last time? She doesn't want to ruffle his hair or pinch his cheeks one last time? Tears well in Harry's eyes as he realizes the last time she hugged him was at their father's funeral.

Harry nods, turning away from the door and walking to the living room. He looks up, ignoring his mom's eyes as he looks around the room. Pictures of them seem to be everywhere, on the table, on the fireplace, on the desk, on the bookshelf. All of them displaying his happy family.

Harry waits, the tears and the pain in his chest growing as he prays for his mother to take it back, for her to cry and pull him into her arms and let him cry. For her to kick out her boyfriend and tell Harry's she sorry.

Instead she says, "You should go before he comes out."

Harry sniffles, wiping the tear that's fallen down his cheek. "Mum," He whimpers, finally looking at her. Her eyes are full of tears but cold, looking at him in anger.

"Now Harry." She hisses. He gazes at her helplessly, begging her to change her mind, to realize that he was protecting her from a man she's too good for. She points towards the door.

Harry's chest is tight and his stomach hurts as he exits his childhood home. He's slow to get to his car, dragging his feet in hopes to give her more time to call him back. She doesn't.

He tosses his bag in the passenger seat, eyes welling even more at the sight of his life in the backseat of his car. He gazes back at his mom who's now standing on the porch.

She stares back, raising a challenging eyebrow. Harry sobs into the sleeve of his sweater, climbing into the drivers seat and starting the car.

He wipes his eyes, looking out the window as his mom just watches. He calms his breath, putting the car in drive and circling the driveway.

Harry takes his phone out, dialing Nick's number. He brings the phone to his ear, glancing in the rearview mirror to see his mom disappearing back into the house.

"Harry?" Nick's answers, catching on to the sound of him crying. "What's wrong?"

"I need help."

Harry can feel y/n eyeing him cautiously, waiting for him to burst and lash out at his mother and sister.

He wants to. He wants to scream at them, he wants to throw his glass of water at his mom, he wants to cry, and he wants to know why the hell they decided to find him now.

But he can't. As much as they hurt him, fucking broke him, he's a father now and if roles were reversed, he'd want Arlo to hear him out.

So he stays quiet, eating the peas on his plate. He grimaces in disgust when he accidentally stabs his fork into a green bean.

"Ya want these love?" Harry asks, breaking the silence as he offers his wife the vegetables that's he's never liked.

As usual, she nods. "Thanks." She chirps, sliding her plate to Harry so he can scrape them on to the plate.

"You've never quite liked green beans." Anne says, her voice tight and timid.

Harry nods, not really appreciating her bringing up his childhood. He's glad his wife is such a saint and swoops in to answer for him.

"So it's a life long thing then?" She laughs, doing her best to smile at Harry's family. "I always thought it was him being a picky diet-er."

If possible, Harry's love for her grows. She knows he's never liked green beans, he told her on their first date that even as a baby he'd throw a tantrum if he had to eat them. Even today, she blamed Arlo's dislike of them on Harry.

But she refuses to have Harry hurting more than he already is and she's going to do all she can to make this dinner easier for him.

"Oh," Gemma pipes in. "What are you dieting for?"

Harry looks down at his plate, dipping his fork into his baked potato. "Boxing," Harry states. "gotta keep my weight down or I get a moved up a class."

"So you're always dieting?" She questions.

Harry nods, chewing on his food slowly. He wants to talk to them, to find a way to fix their family but he can't bring himself to even look at them again. He's afraid he'll start crying in the middle of the restaurant.

The table falls silent again, the chattering of the rest of the restaurant seeming deafening.

"How long are you two in the city?" Y/n asks politely. Harry perks up a bit, his mind had been wondering that for a while now but he didn't want to ask.

"Oh... uh, we're not sure." Anne says. "I guess for as long as..."

Harry knows what she wanted to say. She wants his permission to be here, she wants a sign that he's ok with them coming back into his life. And he's not sure what to say.

"Well, I hope we get to see more of each other before you have to leave." Y/n fills in.

"That'd be really nice." Gemma agrees. They continue to chat, most of the conversation coming from y/n and Gemma rather than Harry and his mom.

Harry pays for dinner, thanking their waiter and ushering y/n out of the booth. He grabs her hand, lacing his fingers through hers as he does his best to silently thank her for everything she's done tonight.

Gemma and Anne follow behind the couple, not really knowing what they're doing tonight. They were hoping they'd have more of a chat with Harry but he wouldn't even look at them and now their chance is over.

"Where are you staying at?" Harry calls over his shoulder, digging in his pockets for his car keys.

"The hotel on Lincoln Street." Gemma answers.

Harry's Range Rover chirps to life, the sleek black metal elegantly reflecting the city lights. "The one by that shitty coffee shop?"

"Uh, yeah."

Harry huffs a bit, raking his free hand through his hair. They approach the car, Harry opening the door for y/n and nodding for her to get in. She does, kissing his cheek in thanks as she climbs in. He closes the door, opening the one to the backseat.

"Get in." He grumbles. Gemma and Anne scramble into the car, impressed by how fancy the interior of the car is as well.

Harry closes the door behind him. Before he can make it around the car and to the drivers seat, Y/n quickly speaks up.

"Just give him a bit, he'll come around."

They both hope she's right.

Harry pulls up to motel, grimacing at the dingy color of the walls and they people lingering in the parking lot.

He circles the parking spots, pulling up in front of the doors. "Go get your things." Harry says, not bothering to look back at them.

Confused but not willing to question him, they both get out, closing the door behind them and hurrying into the hotel.

"I can't let them stay here." Harry says, voice softer than it's been all night. He looks over at y/n, brows furrowed and takes her hand in his.

"Then it's a good thing we have such a big house, yeah?" She smiles, already knowing what he was going to ask.

A tiny smile pulls at his mouth as he brings her hand up to his lips. "You're the best." He whispers. "I love you so fucking much."

Y/n gives him a sad smile. "I love you too Harry, and I'm so proud of you."

He can feel the stinging in his eyes and he's not ready to break down yet so he squeezes her hand, releasing it to unbuckle.

"I'll be right back baby."

Harry enters the motel, heading straight towards the front desk. He pays for his family's room, realizing they've been in the city for almost a week. Harry's disgusted to think they've been staying in this dump for that long.

He's tucking his wallet in his coat pocket when Anne and Gemma exit the elevator with their bags. He nods to the doors. "Room's taken care of."

"You didn't have to do that Harry." Gemma tells him, catching up to walk by his side. Harry feels himself leaning into her, wanting to lean his arm on her shoulder like he would as a teenager.

He forces himself to take a step away from her, ignoring the way Gemma's face falls in defeat. Guilt pricks at his heart.

"It's not a big deal." He responds, hoping they'll take it as his way of welcoming them back into his life, at least for now.

Anne knows Harry's made quite the life for himself. She had always worried that he'd struggle with money, illegal boxing isn't a very well paying job. She knew she had been wrong when he easily paid for dinner and the hotel and climbed into a Range Rover. But that didn't prepare her for the sight of Harry's home.

She had assumed he lived in an apartment, most likely with y/n, in the center of the city. Somewhere celebrities would live when they came to visit the city for a few days and then would leave empty for months at a time.

She was completely wrong.

They pulled up to an iron gate, Harry typing a code into his phone that had the gate swinging open. A stone driveway led to a garage big enough to fit four cars, Anne now having no doubt that each door held it's own car.

A two story colonial house made of bricks connected to the garage, looking like a classic American home next to the big lawn of grass.

Harry parks in front of one of the closed doors, shutting the engine off. Motion lights on the house spring to life and when Harry opens the car door, the sprinklers in the grass shut off.

They all get out, Y/n smiling warmly at Anne and she's grateful. She has no doubt that Harry's told her their past and instead of being cold and defensive like most would, she's been nothing but kind to them.

The air smells of wet dirt and the honeysuckle plants that are lining the flower bed. Anne smiles sadly, hoping Harry was thinking of the honeysuckle plants at his childhood home when he planted those.

Harry's already unlocking the front door when Anne makes it up the stone steps. The beeping of an alarm system greets them and Harry's quick to punch in the code as y/n turns on the lights in the entrance way.

"Sorry for the mess," Y/n calls over her shoulder, leading Gemma and Anne into a big living room. "it's been a busy week."

Anne looks around the room, painfully realizing that the only mess in the house is the scattering of baby toys and a basket of neatly folded clothes, baby onesies stacked at the top.

"Don't apologize," Harry speaks up, entering the room. In the good lighting, Anne notices that his bruise has gotten worse and his lip is a bit swollen. "it's better than that motel."

Y/n gives him a scolding look, smiling halfheartedly at the guests.

"He's right," Gemma says. "you're home is wonderful and we're so grateful to be here."

Harry nods in acknowledgement, disappearing around a wall and turning a light on. The sound of a fridge opening and water running fills the room.

Anne examines the room, eyes welling with tears as she spots the dozens of photos in the living room alone. A picture of y/n and Harry, standing in Times Square in the snow, both clad in winter coats and hats. Harry's resting his head on top of hers, practically beaming with his red nose and dimples, a child like glint in his eyes.

The next one is a photo of young y/n and Harry, standing on a boat out on the ocean. The sun is setting behind them, casting both of them in an orange glow that Harry's white trunks and her white bikini reflect. Y/n has got her arms draped around Harry's not-so-tattooed abdomen, facing the camera while laughing with her eyes squeezed shut. Harry's holding her waist, playfully biting at her cheek.

The next one is a wedding photo, something Anne wouldn't have been shocked to see if she had paid attention to the similar black bands they both have tattooed on their ring fingers.

They're outside, standing under a gazebo covered with vines and fairy lights. Y/n is wearing a gorgeous wedding gown, her hair longer than it is now but curled the same way. Harry's next to her, wearing just a bow tie and a white button up, one side of the shirt untucked.

Both of their smiles are covered in wedding cake, some sticking to his eyelashes and some dangling in y/n's hair. Either way, they're both grinning like fools, eyes twinkling with love and the reflection of the lights.

The last photo on that shelf is just Harry. Or at least that's what stands out until Anne notices that he's cradling a baby in his arms.

His hair is long, pulled into a messy bun and he looks absolutely exhausted, eyes swollen and red but he's positively cheesing at the camera. And in his arms, snuggled in a familiar baby blanket is a baby, whose eyes are closed and features barely noticeable but that doesn't hide the fact that the child has Harry's button nose.

Her Harry's not only married, he's a father. He's got his own little baby running around somewhere, scrunching up the nose they got from their father when they laugh, completely oblivious to the fact that they have a grandma and aunt they've never met.

Y/n notices Anne's tears and the way she's looking at the photo, heart swelling at the broken look in Anne's eyes.

"That's our son." Y/n speaks up softly. Anne looks away from the photo, meeting y/n's gentle gaze. How could she have not noticed earlier? The ring hanging around her neck and the matching one on her finger. The unconditional kindness and smile that only a mother could have. Y/n has been so kind to them because she's got a child of her own.

"I-I didn't know." Anne whimpers pitifully. She wipes at her damp cheeks. Gemma soothes a hand up and down her mother's back, her own tears welling up.

Y/n disregards the fact that she knows Harry sent a wedding invitation and texted her the news of their pregnancy. Obviously something has happened along the way that kept Anne from knowing and by the look on her face, y/n knows Anne wishes she could take everything back.

"It's alright." Y/n soothes, stepping closer to Anne. She should be ashamed of the way she breaks down, falling into y/n and Gemma. She's sobbing into the fabric of y/n's tee-shirt, wishing it were her son's arms that were wrapping around her instead.

Y/n slightly rocks Anne back and forth, letting her mother-in-law cry and smiling sympathetically at Gemma, who's on the verge of her own tears.

"We thought it'd be easier to find him." Gemma whispers. "After she kicked out Jack, we tried to contact him. His number had been changed and so had ours, we couldn't risk Jack contacting us again. We had to change everything and no one seemed to know where Harry had gone. If we'd have known-"

"It's ok." Y/n shushes. "You're here now, there's time to fix this."

Harry returns to the living room, ice pack against his cheek and wet rag on the swollen lip. He stops, noticing that his wife is currently mashed between his mother and sister, the concerned motherly look on her face that tells him all he needs to know.

She's taking care of, comforting, the people that kicked Harry out of his home and left him to fend for himself. Anger flares in his chest, his sore jaw clenching in frustration.

Gemma is the first to pull away, wiping at her eyes and smiling gratefully at y/n. Anne follows, face red and damp as she hiccups. She gives y/n an embarrassed smile that Harry thinks is deserved. She should be embarrassed about what she's done.

"Harry," Gemma croaks, dragging Harry's attention away from his mother. He meets Gemma's gaze, glaring at her. "we're really s-"

"I don't want to talk about this tonight." Harry interrupts, looking away from her. He focuses back on his wife who's watching him in apprehension. "I'm going to call mum, alright?"

"Harry," His mom whimpers and it sounds a lot like the way he called out for her before he left. He turns on his heel, heading for the stairs.

"Good night."

Harry's glad he showered back at the warehouse instead of waiting to come home because he's so exhausted he doesn't think he could stand up long enough to even rinse his hair.

He's laying in bed, scrolling through emails on his phone when y/n enters their bedroom. She kicks the door shut, already ridding herself of her shirt as she pads to the walk in closet.

"They sleeping downstairs?" Harry calls out.

Y/n hums a yes, voice muffled by the walls of the closet. She uses the door connecting to the bathroom, grabbing a face-wipe and brushing her hair out.

She returns to the bedroom, wearing pajama shorts and a tee-shirt that used to be Harry's in high school with her face freshly cleaned.

Harry locks his phone, tossing it the bedside table and motioning his wife over. She happily skips over to the bed, crawling up from the foot of the bed and into his lap.

Pressing a kiss to her head, he tugs her into his chest, making him giggle.

"How's Arlo?"

"Was asleep but mum said he'd been perfect all night. Didn't fuss once and shared mac and cheese with dad." Harry tells her, chuckling a bit at the last part.

"I miss him." She hums, snuggling in closer to Harry's chest.

"Me too." Harry responds, tickling his fingers up and down her back.

"I know it was hard for you but you did really well tonight." Y/n says quietly as if she's afraid she'll set Harry off. Harry just hums, not sure how to answer. He doesn't feel like he did well tonight.

"I'm serious Harry. You didn't have to buy them dinner or pay for their room or invite them to stay with us but you did and I'm so proud of you."

Harry stays silent. He should have done more, said more. He literally walked in on Anne and Gemma sobbing into y/n's shoulders and ignored them. The only peace he'd offered between them was allowing them to stay at his home.

At his silence, y/n changes the subject.

"And you kicked Rosario's ass tonight."

Harry snickers, pride swelling in his chest. "Yeah?"

She nods into his chest.

"I promised you a knockout didn't I?" He pecks her forehead. "Couldn't just let my girl down."

She giggles, lacing her fingers through his. "I love you."

"Love you too." Harry whispers, grinning. He really loves his little family.

#boxer harry styles #harry styles au #harry imagine #harry styles imagine #harry styles #sweet as honey #dad Harry #dad harry styles #fanfiction #fanfic #alternate universe #street fighter

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johannesviii · 5 years ago

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Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2005

16 to 17 years old. Finished public highschool, started public university in September. Looking back at 2003-2005 feels like looking at ten years of my life condensed in three. Exhausting.

Also we’re now past the halfway point of these lists! And this is another exceptionally good year for hits.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

So I finished highschool that year. I met my best friend ever in late 2004 and we even had some sort of small crew back then! I had a bit of a crush on her but alas it wasn’t meant to be. I don’t know who invented the term ‘friendzone’ but they got its meaning completely wrong because staying friends basically forever with someone you love can be a fantastic thing. Things weren’t rosy nor perfect that year, of course, and I still was miserable at home, but I’m not sure where I’ll be today without her. She's amazing and she still lives nearby nowadays. Shoutout: if you read this, E., you pretty much saved my life.

I was still making tapes and burning CDs, still using my trusty portable cd player, and always listening to stuff while drawing during recess, sitting in a corner and doodling stuff in my sketchbook on the floor like a weird gangly goblin.

I had already started to buy Rock Mag in August 2004 but it really became my monthly ritual in 2005, and it lasted until autumn 2007. A reliable source of posters to cover my walls. At that point they were almost completely covered with paintings, drawings, torn pages from magazines and posters of Linkin Park, Mylène Farmer, Placebo and Indochine.

I also had a better access to the family computer and was a bit more involved online. Might explain why the number of singles I was buying plummeted.

It’s time once again for some (ok, many) honorable mentions!

Beverly Hills (Weezer) - I don’t even know why I like this but I do.

Bouger Bouger (Magic System) - I never understood why it was cool to make fun of these guys in my country. Their music is so happy and fun.

Holiday (Green Day) - My brother loved that band and listened to it a lot, and I was 100% fine with that.

Wake Me Up When September Ends (Green Day) - See above.

Gabriel (Najoua Belyzel) - That is so-bad-it’s-good at its finest right here.

Candy Shop (50 Cents) - As a sucker for terrible puns (HA, get it?? I’m sorry I’ll get out immediately) I can’t help it, I love this.

Love Generation (Bob Sinclar) - Stay tuned for more of this guy on another list.

Listen to Your Heart (DHT) - The original is better, but it was really nice to hear that again on the radio.

We Be Burnin’ (Sean Paul) - Not my favorite but still damn good.

Bad Day (Daniel Powter) - I even bought the single. What can I say except “relatable”.

All About Us (Tatu) - I bought that single as well. Almost made the list.

Le Bateau Blanc (Karol) - The last cut from the list. Not even kidding at all. I’m still not sure if Keane deserves to be on the list more than this to be honest.

Like it happened previously with Placebo not being elligible at all, it is a complete outrage that Precious by Depeche Mode isn’t elligible for this list. Like, what the f█ck. Playing the Angel was one of the defining albums of the year to me. I’m not even sure it would have topped the list, maybe #2, but it still feels wrong.

There’s another band who’s complete absence from this top feels kinda painful to me, considering how much I loved their new album at the time. Indeed, no single from Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge by My Chemical Romance is elligible for this list, and it feels wrooooong, man. I love I’m not okay and especially Thank You For the Venom, but even Helena would have been nice. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be.

For some unfathomable reason, Get The Party Started (Pink) and, even more unexplainable, Do You Really Want to Hurt Me (Culture Club) recharted in France in 2005 and both made the year-end top 100. The fact they are both elligible but all the stuff mentioned above this paragraph isn’t makes no sense whatsoever.

And now, the actual list!

10 - Everybody’s Changing (Keane)

US: Not on the list / FR: #48

Pretty great even though it’s not my favorite Keane song. That would be Crystal Ball. It’s fantastic and as a person who is scared, above all, by existential horror, the music video is terrifying. Sadly, it’s not elligible for my 2006 list, so Everybody’s Changing will have to be its slightly less good proxy for 2005.

9 - Et Si En Plus Ya Personne (Alain Souchon)

US: Not on the list / FR: #100

This has to be the most borderline non-elligible song ever put on one of my lists. But I’m glad it is still elligible. Remember the song on the 1993 list that I called an “anticapitalist ballad”? Well that’s the same guy. And this time it’s a song about how religion can cause both beautiful things and war, and how “the sky might be empty” because of us. It’s great. Here’s a translation. You’re welcome.

8 - F█ck Them All (Mylène Farmer)

US: Not on the list / FR: #62

Aaaaaaaaand unfortunately for everyone including myself, she’s back. Not her best song by a mile (told you it was all downhill after C’est Une Belle Journée didn’t I), but still pretty damn good, and that music video where she’s destroying bird-like scarecrows is amazing so here’s a bonus gif.

7 - Boulevard of Broken Dreams (Green Day)

US: #7 / FR: Not on the list

My brother LOVED this band and listened to it SO MUCH. And yeah, they were very good and that song might just be my favorite one from them. I don’t have much more to say about it, you all know it already. Let’s move on.

6 - Sugar We’re Going Down (Fall Out Boy)

US: #40 / FR: Not on the list

Again, it feels wrong that both Fall Out Boy AND Panic! at the Disco were elligible for this list but not My Chemical Romance. I was never a fan of these two acts, at all, and their supposed rivalry was kinda hilarious to watch from afar. With a bucket of popcorn. While listening to Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge and nodding sadly, of course.

This is still a great song, mind you.

5 - Feel Good Inc (Gorillaz)

US: #37 / FR: Not on the list (really? wtf happened)

Again, I live with someone who loves Gorillaz, so I claim overexposure.

It’s still #5 on a list based on a very, very good year.

That’s quality for you.

4 - Speed of Sound (Coldplay)

US: #57 / FR: Not on the list

A new chapter in the ascension of Coldplay from “Johannes hates this band” to “this is one of the best mainstream bands we have”. An epic saga, years in the making, and Speed of Sound was basically the last scene of Act One. Not my favorite song from X&Y (that would be Talk), but still really good. Hell, I even bought the single, and goodness knows I wasn’t buying a lot of singles anymore in 2005.

Holy shit, half of these are Benassi Bros garbage. None of them are elligible, though! Dodged a bullet there, didn’t I.

3 - Numb/Encore (JayZ + Linkin Park)

US: #93 / FR: #75

What a blessed mashup. For a few magical months in 2005, all the punk goth kids and the hiphop kids were united under this song’s banner and it felt like world peace had been achieved. It could have pissed off everybody but no! Everyone loved it instead!

“But Johannes, this is just Numb all over again with different lyrics. You can’t keep putting Linkin Park at the top of your lists forever.” Sadly no, I can’t. I know. It’s only #3. Don’t yell at me. Also, the next two songs are genuinely better, at least in my opinion!

2 - Lift Me Up (Moby)

US: Not on the list / FR: #31

I heard this on the radio and bought the album, Hotel, on the grounds that Natural Blues from 2000 was one of my favorite songs ever and than it wouldn’t hurt to actually own an album of that guy after all that time (”all that time” being only five years, but please keep in mind the past three years had felt like ten, and in my mind, they still do ; trauma is one hell of a thing). And a couple of days later that year, we went to Disneyland for my brother’s birthday, and I only had a small bag that could contain my cd player, and the earphones and nothing else. So I could only put one cd in it and that was it.

So I picked Hotel, and I basically retreated inside of it whenever my mother was starting to talk aggressively, which happened a lot in the various queues. So in the end, I listened to that cd a LOT that day and every single time, it would calm me while still being energetic enough to keep me enthusiastic for the various Disneyland rides.

Lift Me Up is energetic but cold, aerial but distant, uplifting but sinister. It was the perfect song for someone who was, at the time, trying to tone down their aggressivity and anger and trying to be masculine but in a softer way, while still staying themselves and not giving up the fight. I absolutely adore this song. It’s perfect.

It instantly joined my list of favorite songs ever that year.

1 - Mr Brightside (The Killers)

US: #16 / FR: Not on the list (this feels so wrong)

If I had to make a top ten of the hits of that entire decade, this would be #2. No debate whatsoever.

Because holy shit.

I was already sold on that band after hearing Somebody Told Me on the radio, which sadly isn’t elligible for this list (I instantly loved it, first because it was catchy as hell, but also because I love the chorus “Well somebody told me you had a boyfriend / Who looked like a girlfriend / That I had in February of last year", because as you already know I tend to be extremely literal minded and my immediate conclusion was “wow you two dated the same trans guy before and after he was out of the closet” and that was highkey relatable and no you can’t change my mind). So I bought the album about two weeks after, mostly blind, because the cd store was playing it and also because Rock Mag said it was great.

That was an understatement. Hot Fuss is one of the best albums of the entire decade and you probably know that already. The first song, Jenny Was a Friend of Mine, floored me right after putting the cd in the player and it felt like the album already reached its peak and there were still 12 tracks after that.

The very next track was Mr. Brightside. And. How do I put this.

There’s like a dozen interpretations possible for this song, and most of them are something like “this guy is so anxious and paranoid he’s gonna break up with this girl because he keeps imagining her cheating with another guy and it might not even be real.”

Now might be a good moment to remind you that at the time, I had a crush on my best friend, and was still firmly in the closet. And this song starts, as everyone knows, with “Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine“.

So... yeah. This is the song that accidentally convinced me the closet sucked and did nothing to deter bullies anyway, and that after more than three years of feeling mostly miserable, I should try to be myself and screw the consequences. I know it wasn’t the original intention behind that song. But still.

Godspeed, The Killers. I owe you one, guys.

Next up: Still not able to put Indochine nor Placebo on a list, OP is this close to punching a wall

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #eye contact tw

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clownishpossum · 5 years ago

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Answer the questions, then tag other people.

I was tagged by @lux-rae, thanks Sky!! c:

You can call me: Aja. Or Capra. Or Cap. Honestly, call me just about anything and it’ll make me soft.

I’d describe myself as: I mean kinda a mess. But a mess who cares a lot? Who laughs a lot at stupid stuff and can’t take anything seriously, gets way too obsessed with stuff, and has a tendency to cry about friendship…?

Fictional characters that I identify with or am fond of: Izuku from bnha, N from pokemon. Kvothe from kkc. Alibaba from magi. Usopp from one piece. ///BarryLupMagnusAngusTaakoKravitz adventurezone because I can’t pick just one in the obsessive flurry I’m currently caught in

Three random facts about me:

1: My first word was doggie

2: I was reprimanded by my RA for having too many posters on my dorm wall but I have no plans to take any of them down. I also have a stinky pumpkin on my desk that I probably shouldn’t.

3: Less of a fact and more of a brag but. I’ve taken three science tests since the beginning of college and I got 100% or higher on all three *finger guns*

Something little about my appearance that I kind of like: A lot of times my hair dries shitily but when it dries nice and it’s all soft and curly and fluffy? Or when it’s freshly cut or dyed? 10/10

An outfit that makes me feel powerful: I mean I’ve been feeling crop tops, heart shaped sunglasses, and hawaiian shirts recently. The most official ~outfit~ I can think of right now that makes me feel powerful is a white crop top, a black jacket with a rainbow across it, black ripped jeans, and my rainbow holographic doc martens. Which I realize makes me sound like kinda a ridiculous person. Like, that’s the type of wacky fake outfit you’d hear described in a wattpad fanfiction. But uhh. Here we are.

An object that is special to me: I have a minccino plush that I treasure in particular because I got it during a rough time it’s very comforting to me.

A compliment that made me feel warm inside: Lots of people have been telling me lately that I seem like I’ve gotten more calm and confident since coming to college, and that makes me 👀👀

Something I love about myself: Uhhhh lol. I know lots of scientific animal names...? does that qualify sjhjsdhs

Something I’d love to buy someone else: If I could I’d buy my friend who moved to away plane tickets so she could visit all her friends here. We all miss her. Also I’d love if I could buy me n my former emo friends tickets to the fall out boy green day weezer tour bc hot damn what a group of bands.

Something I’d love to buy for myself: I’d love to get a portable blu-ray player, or just like. A tv and blu-ray player. So I could actually watch the movies I brought to college with me.

Three things that make me really happy:

1: Looking at my TAZ graphic novels always makes me really happy...

2: Talkative affectionate cats

3: The feeling of being around friends you know and trust implicitly and can just completely goof off and release your inner dumbass around

Something I enjoyed recently: Yesterday my roommate and I went to the gym then got boba and went back to our dorm and watched star wars. And honestly? Ideal night.

Songs stuck in my head recently: My head’s been rotating between This December by Ricky Montgomery, Good as Hell by Lizzo, and Gone for Good by The Shins.

Something adorable I came across recently: The other day I was walking home from the bus stop and shuffling through the leaves and kicking them around and stuff, as I tend to do. And this group of girls heard me and turned around to look at me. And I had a moment of, “oh god. They’re gonna hit me with a condescending look.” But then they started shuffling through the leaves too and making piles and laughing and having fun and it was really wholesome,,,,

If you wanted to know me better you should check out these things: Geez I feel like this is kinda a big question...? Definitely pokemon mystery dungeon explorers of the sky. probably pokemon black version too. The movies labyrinth and guardians of the galaxy...? Any of the shows/books/podcasts I mentioned characters from earlier. Uhh... Mustelids? Go check out mustelids. Get a good look at some stoats and martens. You’ll feel better.

Something I can/will do to take care of myself in the coming days: I really want to get back into doing yoga! It’s been difficult because it’s just sorta awkward to do when I’m in a new place and I have a roommate sharing close quarters with me, plus I’ve just been really busy. But I feel like it helps me to relax and focus better... So I wanna start doing it regularly again.

And I’m gonna tag @help-is-on-the-way @cazstiell @thelonelyabsol@shaggyturtlestudiostotallyradbro @ellixt-m @sunshineandshitpostss

I know this is very long so I 100% get it if you don’t wanna do it skskjfhsd

But if you do. Cool! And if anyone else wants to do it...? Consider yourself tagged c:

#wow these answers are long rambling disasters #that's... normal for me though lol #I'm very unequipped to talk about myself #thanks again for the tag though! It was fun!#it’s-a-me

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eddiekasprzak · 5 years ago

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your 90s Bill headcanons have single handedly MURDERED me go OFF

lol thanks anon. i’m excited for the fandom to come back and for the canon gay to pull more people in so i can post more about 90s losers without hearing nothing but crickets. anyway here are some more of my 90s bill HCs:

like most teen boys who watched twin peaks he wants to straight up marry audrey horne. he has an innocuous TP poster on his wall that he uses to cover up ANOTHER poster from sherilyn fenn’s playboy shoot. nothing TOO risque, but like. vaguely horny.

him and stan are both into the x-files but stan only cares about his skeptic kween scully whereas bill wants to pick apart every detail of the lore and it’s like. chill out, bill. it’s spring 1994. there’s only one season out.

when he goes to in college he totally logs onto the library computers to go on usenet and discuss it with people who actually UNDERSTAND and APPRECIATE the show unlike STAN.

i feel like bill would listen to mostly normie-adjacent rock bands and/or weezer until he discovers the bends and becomes a huge radiohead stan. like, can you imagine bill denbrough listening to street spirit (fade out) for the first time? he’d go hogwild.

he calms down for a bit but then ok computer comes out when he’s 21 and well. rip to his paltry social life, he has to stay indoors and listen to paranoid android on repeat.

i COULD talk about what his fave vertigo comic is but it’s part of my what-if-bill-was-a-graphic-novelist HC that i can’t get into rn

okay back to twin peaks. bill : explaining what the black lodge is :: charlie : pepe silvia monologue. don’t argue with me on this, you know i’m right.

#i lost the first version of this LOL #i wrote a lot considering that bill isn't a fave #bill denbrough #asks #anonymous #90s losers

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riverscuomohhh · 6 years ago

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Rivers thoughts

I’m just jotting down some thoughts as I go along because I like reading these things back at a later date. I started writing this before I had any followers so feel free to ignore this. I’ve put it under the cut but sorry if you’re on mobile

I find his face fascinating. Obviously I’m massively attracted to him but his expression-less expression is amazing. How small his movements are, he doesn’t emote with facial expressions very much, except eyes and eye brows. His eyes can get real wide and I love how his eyebrows knit together in a worried/concerned face. I LOVE when he does a natural smile, it fills my heart!

At the start I particularly liked that he reminded me of the 90s. Not that I knew much about him then, other than having a copy of Blue, but there is a connection; he connects me to an amazing time in my past. I like that he covers Oasis songs and reminds me of some incredible songs from that decade - a time I haven’t thought about much recently. When you arrive late in the day to a big band with a long history, quite often their early days are a hard-to-navigate blur, usually best left in the past. But I actually get a warm and fuzzy feeling about Weezer’s early days, I don’t find myself intimidated by their history and I understand where they’ve come from because I lived through it already.

I think the word ‘awkward’ is over-used to describe him. Sure there’s an element of that, but there are better choices of words I think. To me he comes across as calm, measured, thoughtful, he thinks about his answers before he speaks, he’s not animated or expressive when he talks that often. But honestly I don’t think he cares that much about social conventions or making people (interviewers) feel comfortable.

It’s been almost two months since I saw that iheartradio show and fell in love with him and I am still in awe of him. Sure I want him to do despicable things to me, in my typical fangirl MO, but I’m still formulating exactly what at the moment because I’m still discovering so much. The whole groupie, massage parlours, drag photos, celibacy and all the extremes he’s into, really gets me going. I am definitely into the seedy side of him. But the fact that he looks so innocent, so boyish and so nerdy and then goes wild on stage and has that past, is so alluring. This is the next big one for me that’s for sure. It was about time, I haven’t had a new frontman crush for about five years. But he’s so my type it’s unreal. He’s here to stay.

#some thoughts #just keeping track #the world has turned takes me right back and now has a whole new meaning #riv

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dannyxtyler · 6 years ago

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[ brendon urie, twenty eight, cismale, he/him ] ━ hey, I just saw [ daniel “danny” tyler ] walking down the streets of crownsville. they’ve lived in town for [ one week ], and you can catch them around town working as a [ local musician ]. I hear they’re known to be [ confident & energetic ] and [ reckless & conceited ]. if asked, they would say their aesthetic would be [ liquor, house parties, sparkly suits and jazz music ]

hi, meet my bby and pls plot with me (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

hi guys, it’s me, Carmen, this is the part where I reveal that I used to rp here around 2 months ago with a Tom Holland FC named Jake Brooks who was the biggest smoll bean in the world (here’s a link to his dead blog omg he had so much potential rip), sO YEAH PROBABLY SOME OF YOU ALREADY KNOW ME, HI THERE, I’M SO HAPPY TO BE BACK, I MISSED Y’ALL

Now I present to you my bby Danny with the lovely face of the greatest male singer of our generation aka Brendon Urie (◡‿◡✿), have some facts about him:

He was born and raised in New York, down in the streets of Brooklyn

He’s an only child and he comes from a pretty wealthy family so his relationship with his parents has always been cold and distant, they were always too busy working/making money and he was always being cared by the nanny in turn or his grandparents during the weekends

They were the typical rich parents that didn’t care much about his kid but they always gave him everything he wanted/asked for so yeah he grew up pretty lonely but spoiled too u can say

Since a young age he developed a big love for music probably bc his grandpa used to play him his Frank Sinatra, Bob Dylan, Elvis Presley, Chuck Berry, The Beatles, etc (u know, classic and amazing music) records all the time, like he would teach him about his favorite artists and little Danny was just so amazed by all of it

His grandpa passed away when he was only 15 and this was a thing that rlly affected him and he still misses him to this very day, he always cites him as the reason why he started loving music and one of his biggest inspirations

He started to play guitar at 13 when he got a guitar for Christmas and since then he’s learned to play basically every instrument but his favorite is and will always be the piano

During his middle school/high school days he was your typical trouble boy, causing trouble all over the streets of New York with fellow wealthy spoiled kids who found alcohol a fun thing to try at only 15 LMAO he also was always pissing teachers off at school and stuff (we all know a kid like this, don’t we LOL)

Before starting his senior year of high school he decided to drop out and rejected his parents offer of attending Columbia University after graduating and instead decided to move to L.A to pursue a music career, he was just too confident he’d make it and didn’t want to “waste” any more time at school and since his parents never cared enough they didn’t try to stop him but instead gave him the all commodities so he could move in there

After a few months of living in L.A he met other boys that were his age and had the same dream and bonded with them so they eventually formed a band together that they decided to name “The Lost Boys”

Explanation behind the silly band name: u know the Lost Boys from Peter Pan, well!! They related to that concept, like never wanting to grow up and being all alone without their families in L.A, idk if there’s already a band existing out there with that name if iT DOES PLEASE IGNORE IT LMAO i made it all up at 3am last night

Their genre is indie/alternative (imagine their sound arctic monkeyish like they started being teenagers and really loud but evolved into some type of jazz stuff recently as they grew older and started wearing fancy suits)

Even though they are not like Green Day or Muse famous they got their big break a while back (like those throwback songs you remember from the mid 00s that were such a classic), and they’re pretty well known around those who enjoy alternative/indie music and he’s toured all over the world with them!!

So if your character is a musician or has something to do with the music industry/music please assume the connection that they know each other bc he knows a lot of people in the scene omfg

Concerning his love life, well, since music has always been his biggest priority he’s never had a “real” relationship before like he’s had his girlfriends and stuff (most likely models bc rockstar) but he’s never fallen for someone hard enough to want to settle down and get married u know, the no strings attached relationship type are his fave thing too lmao

Personality wise he’s literally the life of the party!! like you’d never get bored around him, he’s extremely confident because he’s well aware of his talents so he may come off as cocky or vain but he ain’t an asshole LMAO yes he’s a diva that loves the attention but he’s pretty chill and easygoing, he also loves partying and liquor LOL he’s hyper 24/7 tbh

THIS IS WHERE THE MOST IMPORTANT PART COMES: he’s father of Teaegan’s (our lovely Demi Lovato fc) daughter but he has no clue yet LMAO none of them do so here I am to bring that plot alive that will kill me with all the feels (they met in L.A since they’re both musicians and had a fwb relationship), his life is about to change forever and he’d have to try and calm down his wild lifestyle bc of her precious baby Blake

He came here to Crownsville after the latest Lost Boy’s tour ended since he had friends come live here and he heard nice comments about it and he wanted to find a quiet, nice place to stay and find some inspiration for the new album, you can find him around performing jazz sets in bars (he loves jazz, in case that wasn’t clear before or obvious lmao)

He didn’t tell anybody he was coming here tho, knowing his impulsive nature he just decided last minute to move in and here he is now LOL

I think that’s it or at least that’s all I can think about I’M SORRY THIS IS SO LONG, and thanks for reading please come plot with me, i love plotting and i love u all (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

ps: please bear with me as I post my first starter and reply to a few, I’m a bit distracted bc of the Coachella livestreams, currently watching Weezer as I wait for my bby Billie Eilish omfg

#crownsvilleooc #crownsvilleintro #{ carmen speaks }

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chuckling-chemist · 6 years ago

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Music Meme

So you know that “put your music player on shuffle, and draw only when it’s playing then stop for 10 songs”? Yeah I did that but writing. Went and fixed up the typos plus a bit of quirk stuff, but otherwise it’s about how I wrote it. Stuck under a read more for reasons

1. Come Together - The Beatles

Dumaas was not a small troll. Dumaas never would be a small troll. He stood, a full 7’3” flat footed with tall, imposing horns that stood straight up for what seemed like miles, with a body frame that was all bulk and little else. Every step he took forward was heavy. Other trolls were scared of him. But that’s okay. He was a purpleblood. A subjuggalator. A terror to society both inside and outside the forces of the Inquisition. They should be scared of him. Such was his purpose.

Did that upset others? Perhaps. Certainly upset the pansy-ass little violetbloods he was forced to work with. They didn’t cower, but they held their noses up and looked down on him despite being shorter. One of them in particular, a tall skinny thing who needed more food in particular, might look him down in the eyes whenever they met up, but Dumaas could smell the fear when he arrived on the scene. He hated Dumaas with a passion. That’s how it should be. That was their destiny as purple and violet.

2. The Greatest - Alabama Shakes.

Mayola flopped down onto the couch where Valeba slept on the other end. It woke the lowblood up instantly, who shot a glare over in the seadweller’s general direction.

“What the hell’s that about?” she snapped groggily. Someone was pissed. Not like it was Mayola’s problem.

“Uh….I dunno. Keep you on your toes?”

Valeba rolled her eyes and groaned. She started to settle back into a comfortable sleeping position, stopping immediately as Mayola grabbed a foot to pull her closer and get the lowblood on top of her.

“We’re fucking kismesis, you know.”

“You assume I fuckin’ give a shit.” Mayola grinned, running her tongue over too-sharp teeth. “‘Sides, I wasn’t lookin’ to do anything more than sleep right now anyway. Busy day ‘n’ all.”

“That makes one of us. I fucking hate going with you on these stupid politic meetings. Take Aisral.” Valeba shook her head, long hair getting all over Mayola’s chest. “Or Dontoc. Someone qualified.”

“You’re fuckin’ qualified on lowblood shit, ya know.”

3. Tetris Theme - Powerglove

Vodnik could see the wind move.

A strange concept, if you thought about it. You shouldn’t be able to see the wind move. The tree tops quaking when the breeze went too fast, sure. The coats and hats of trolls whip off in a windstorm, of course. Or the sails on his ship move on a pleasant day, naturally. But the wind? To see the jet streams as what they were - streams, like leaves moving about the air as if they floated down the current of a stream - was an unusual ability indeed. A shame of all the people in the universe to thank, it was the damn fairies.

He’d have to thank them for his manipulation of it too. How, if he focused and actually tried, he could push the wind into different positions, shape it like it were blocks, move it effortlessly back and forth to whatever he needed at the time.

4. Young Man Dead - The Black Angels

Gonzor took a slow drag of the cigarette in his mouth, feeling the bug scuttle about in his hand during its final moments. This one wasn’t completely dead. He didn’t exactly prefer it that way, granted, but there was something cathartic at his caste to feel something actually die for once in his life. Not just to feel it, but to see it. As a limeblood, it was so rare to even go out and explore the world as however unholy god the purples happened to worship -- which is to say, violent and messy -- that he reveled in the rare moments he could do so in such a way that didn’t simultaneously make him feel like he engaged in society the way the bitch of an Empress and her insufferable little twee-twat of an Heiress wanted. It was just a bug.

A bug that gave him a pleasant tingle in his fingertips and calmed his craving for something harder, but still just a bug.

If anything, it’s good Gonzor finally managed to get off the more dangerous shit. He always knew that would end up killing him someday if he weren’t careful, and even with that knowledge he wasn’t exactly keen on stopping. But after it knocked out one of his coworkers….

5. Flickers - Son Lux

The darkness shifted around Dontoc. It stopped him from moving, bound his feet to whatever unholy floor he stood on now. He could move his hands, but what good did it do? There was nothing to reach, nothing to grab at. Just darkness surrounding every fiber of his being like a blanket. Smothering him.

And yet, it didn’t aim to kill. It just bound him. That was new.

A figure appeared in the darkness. It looked like him, except it wasn’t him. It was twisted, warped, the cheeky smile he showed Pallia or Valeba on good days replaced with a warped grin, gnarls around an otherwise perfectly unnaturally smooth face. He held a light, a candelabra that forced his face to look somehow darker still despite it. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. Not as the figure gazed into the darkness, his light opening a hole.

But Dontoc couldn’t go down the hole. Couldn’t use it to escape. No, this wasn’t the time. Even without the bindings, he knew instinctively as such.

6. For Free? (Interlude) - Kendrick Lamar

Marching.

In all her life, Valeba had probably never marched. She ran, she stalked. Marching was something done by the fucking military in the conquest of useless planets to ravage. Yet here she was, marching her happy ass up to Careen’s dumbass oversized mansion to give the Heiress the first piece of a rust’s mind she’d probably ever heard in her fucking life.

Who’s bright idea was it to give that bitch her Chittr handle? A chittr that, mind you, was only made so Mayola could tag her in every pic she ever took. Certainly hadn't been Dontoc. Boy probably didn’t even have a chittr. But either way, Careen found it.

7. Hypnotize - White Stripes

“Fancy a drink tonight, doll?”

The cobalt rolled her eyes at Meroin, giving a short good-natured laugh as she walked away. Ah well. Another loss. No big deal.

He heard a chuckle from across the bar. Niehea. The fuchsia was everything Meorin dreamed of in a seadweller: tall, adventurous and down to get her hands dirty. To say he was smitten with her was an understatement. “You’re striking out tonight.”

8. El Scorcho - Weezer

Hey uh….you free? I’m making extra dinner tonight.

Ardeen mentally kicked himself. That sounded dumb. Extra dinner? Who the hell makes extra dinner? Certainly not someone he was trying to impress. Who might have been a lowblood that obviously needed to eat a little more than the jerky he often saw her with. Certainly not her.

He sat around on his husktop, dinking around for what felt like hours before he got an answer. Ardeen nearly jumped at the notification ping playing loud and clear over his speakers. Had his sound been that high? Guess so.

Yeah I got nothing going on now. Happen to be in the area. Want me over?

Fuck yeah

Oh shit, now that--that sounded desperate. Horribly so.

I mean yeah. Just yeah. No fuck involved.

Well shit, and here I was thinking I could fuck my ^^atesprit who i’ve fucked already. Joke’s on ^^e I guess.

….Right. They were matesprits. That’s a thing. He was seeing someone.

9. The Great Gig in the Sky - Pink Floyd

The bar was quiet when Inaeis entered. As it should be. He’d never walked into a lounge bar at 4 in the morning and found it packed with trolls. Happy hour hadn’t even began. Trolls this early were still at work, or fumbling around with whatever esoteric interest they wanted to at the time. They weren’t drinking their souls away. They had better things to do. Unlike Inaeis, who after centuries of burning and pillaging rebel troll’s belongings just wanted to drink and forget it all. Forget his atrocities. Forget the inquisition. Forget the stupid highbloods and the Empress and his library. Just zone out to the sound of the soft chords of the piano as she played some sorrowful song for an audience of one.

But he couldn't. No matter how much he drank, it only forced him to remember it all. He still smelled the smoke of his first burnt hive. Still remembered the screams of the trolls. The glare in Fospha’s eyes as the sword ran clean through her belly. The look of absolute disgust. He felt still, so much later.

He could’ve just shot her. Made it quick. But he didn’t. His own fault.

10. Fortunate Son - Creedence Clearwater Revival

The trolls that gathered at the gates were not the ones expected. The leaders of the revolt expected lowbloods. The trolls most likely to be cannon fodder to the ugliest fights only, the ones ensured to never see the light of the moons or step foot back on Alternia after their first tour with the fleet. But it wasn’t. Every landdwelling caste, save the purples, gathered on the front steps with a spark in their eyes that indicated they were finished. Some of them came armed, but many others only came with angry words and furious stares. It was a wonder how they expected to survive at all.

#fantroll #prompt writing #just throwing it under the ft tag for purposes of finding it on my blog

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