#I have thurday and friday off so I might try and start things up then

[skullzy20]

Honestly I think I'm going to have to take a small break for the first few days of Artfight because shits rough for me rn I can't even find the motivation to finish this one ref I need to get done <\3

[ethanjsmith-blog1]

3D Project

Monday: In the morning Gill showed a group of us a power point about the brief and showed us artist we can get ideas from while we had this power point other groups went to workshops, it’s good I got the PowerPoint first so when I go to the workshops I know what I’m doing! In the afternoon I went to second workshop which was the 3D Workshop were we was given a slab of clay to poke different tools into so when we pour plaster into it it makes an ancient tablet type thing! After that we poured plaster into some peppers to make a cast of the inside of the pepper!

Tuesday: 

Not much happened today which means it was pretty draining just a lot of sitting and listening to powerpoints, in the morning Gill had another powerpoint to show us which had more artist and movie clips so we can get even more of idea on what to work towards, we’d draw from clips and pictures from the powerpoint which was some good practise. In the afternoon we had our unit 9 carriers talk about different jobs in 3D, I’m not a 3D person i didn’t find much interest in this. 

Thursday: 

In the morning we stayed in the studio so work some design ideas, I had a hard time coming up with some ideas but I looked deeper into the artist given and got some pretty good ones i might want to pursue. After lunch it was my turn to the wood workshop, I went wanting to make a wooden sculpture of a person like i saw some of the artist given had done, i wanted to make something like a statue or something because i find the people living in the environment more interesting than the environment its-self so i’m going to try and mix the two. I tried to make somethings but getting used to the workshop i found myself a bit lost so i just messed around with some of the tools. 

I made another little figure but it seems someone has defaced it and broke it so i can’t post it here, this figure also got defaced but it’s okay because there isn’t much more to it than this picture but the other was a little bust of a person but it has been painted and covered in clay just because i left in on my desk for a while. 

Friday: 

Today i spent the whole day in the library doing research and working on my ideas, still a bit lost and confused but i’m getting the hang and coming up with some sort of plan.

Monday: 

Today i done the same as Friday and just worked on more research and design ideas, i don’t understand why i’m still so confused and lost with this project, i might be to do with the fact i’m not very well experienced with 3D.

Tuesday Wednesday:

Today i get the chance to start my piece, i settled on a statute of a person covered in plants and different kind of planty things! I started making it out of wood but it became to tricky to cut around to get the shape so i cut my shape out of foam and it cut so smooth, the only problem was that foam is hard to sand and shape with out exploding the whole thing so i came up with a new plan! With sand paper i made the sides some what rounded and i cut off the legs and paper machied the body after that i painted my base blue like the sea and stuck on the body, i covered string in green paint and spread them around the body and using some fake grass i smothered the whole of the top of the body. I released it needed something more so i cut up the legs and used them as rocks to go around the body base and i painted them grey and a mixed of blues and white. I planned to have a little dock running of the body so i made it using some spare wood i had left over. 

Thurday: 

In the morning people finished off there piece so we can put them in the architecture studio where we are putting our pieces to be judged and critiqued. it was nice for the people who got feedback but i didn’t get called out so i just stood there and toke in what they was saying other peoples works. 

Friday: 

The project is done so we just spent today catching up on unfinished work and cleaning the studio for next week's project which is animation.

Evauation: 

This project has been to toughest so far for me just because I’ve very little experience with making 3D objects but i do enjoy designing the objects but i set my expectations to high and i get upset that i can’t get the same results as i designed but thats just because of my lack of practise with kind of stuff. I had to change my design multiple times it was going to be make of wood than i would be made of foam, it would have legs and now it doesn’t. This doesn’t mean i wasn’t happy the my final peice i very much am, it did have a really cartoony face which is like a thing with my art style but me and Wendey both agreed it wouldn’t work with the rest of the peice so i just painted over it much i’m going to use it as charater dev for my animation. If i could do this again it would be better because i would have had more experience but i’d plan more and think about what i’m doing and such, I overthink to much so i caused me to stress out but i feel more confident with this stuff now. 

[seasonsofreckoningrp-blog]

Congratulations, Morgan! You’ve been accepted for the role of Carmen Marques. Please make sure to check our checklist, and you have twenty-four hours to send us your character’s blog. We’re really happy to have you in our family!

We could feel the excitement in Carmen on her journey to the States, but also were able to see the little ticks and annoyances from her for being patronized through the dialogue. Your sample also showed that she isn’t just one to stay quiet and had no problem speaking out, which is exactly the kind of person we see Carmen as!  We can’t wait to see how much more assertive and different she is now compared to when she was human and how being a vampire has bolstered this her voice and thoughts!

Introduction

Morgan, 25, EST, She/Her

Activity level:

I’d say I’m probably about a 7 or 8. I have a typical 9am to 5pm desk job, monday to friday. The good thing about that is that it gives me time to sneak on here and there when work gets slow. Usually I get online around 7ish and I’m pretty much online until I go to sleep, even if it’s just lurking after I finish replies and things. On Thurdays I go out and come back late, so I might be on late and not as much as usual. Weekends are usually a total toss up. I usually use them for cleaning up my apartment and all that fun kind of stuff, since my friends work weekends.

Further contact:

[Removed]

How did you find the roleplay?

I used to be part of Seasons of Revenge and I follow Ev’s 1x1

Roleplay experience:

Oh gosh, where to start? Haha. I’ve been rping online since I was like 16 and I’ve been on tumblr since I was like 20ish? So a long time haha. I still have my old account for one of my characters here. [x]

Triggers:

[Removed]

Anything else?

[Removed]

IC INFORMATION

Desired character:

Carmen Marques

Faceclaim:

Nope I’m all good! No changes here.

Why did you choose this character?

Last go around I picked a character who was a little more reserved. This time I wanted someone a bit wilder. Someone who could shake things up a bit. That was definitely Carmen. I felt almost like an instant connection with her character. She’s spoiled but doesn’t see it that way. If she wants something she’s going to do her damnedest to get it, come hell or high water. Now that she’s a vampire she has the power and the strength to do that. Though I like the other side of her as well. The soft and scared side that lost her dream. The one that wrestled with the fact that she now had to kill to survive and live. The one that would never get to see her parents again because she’d be too afraid she’d kill them on the spot. The fact that she’s never had to deal with not getting what she wants and deciding to shut off her humanity because of it. It killed her to do it because now that she has it off, all of her dancing, while alluring and can bring people in to her, now lacks the passion and tenacity that got her accepted in to Juilliard in the first place. Though she doesn’t see it that way she knows that deep down. She’s more than she seems on the surface and there’s so much in her that can be developed further.

Para sample:

Carmen could hear her heart beating loudly in her chest as she gave the agent at the counter her ticket. The plane was crowded but in this situation she found that it didn’t bother her in the slightest. Her mind was racing too fast, her thoughts were only of the future that had been laid before her. A future she thought would only live firmly in her dreams. But here she was now, settling into a seat, crowded by people on her left but fortunate to have a window seat. Just a few hours separated her from her dream school. A small squeal of excitement left her as the fasten seat belt sign flashed and the plane began to rumble to life. The woman next to her rolled her eyes and made a noise of annoyance but absolutely nothing could stop the energy thrumming through Carmen. Nothing at all could take this moment of joy from her.

Just like that, the plane ride was over. It seemed equal parts much to long and way to short. Looking out her window she could see the night sky full of stars. From here they almost seemed just like the ones back home. Her heart was still hammering loudly against her chest but she was here! She was taking her first steps into her future, into what would become her new life. If only she knew just what was waiting in store for her. But how could she? To blinded by her optimism and to spoiled by her good fortune. She had to know the other shoe was going to drop eventually, didn’t she? No, nothing like that had ever happened to her in her life. So she missed the signs that were clearly all around as she made her way toward the baggage claim.

There she could see her host family. Though it seemed like it wasn’t all of them. Just a man and a woman and a small sign with her name on it. She looked them up and down and they seemed so perfect. They were beautiful and elegant and at once Carmen could see her fitting in with them. These were the people she was meant to be with. The life she was meant to be living. To her their smiles seemed warm and genuine, after all she had never known any other kind. No one ever refused her the things she wanted, no one ever tried to take advantage of her. Maybe if they had she would recognize those smiles for what they were. Not the warm and welcoming ones she saw but vicious, predatory grins, not unlike the cat who had just caught the canary and that canary was her. Strong hands wrapped around her shoulder pulling her close. The other picked out her bags with ease, almost as if they weighed nothing.

It wasn’t until it was much too late that she realized something was wrong, very wrong. The limo they had taken back to the mansion had her in awe and almost completely speechless. Keyword being almost. As they approached the mansion she felt her jaw drop and a giddy flutter inside her. “This is absolutely amazing. It is exactly what I thought it would be like coming here. When do I go to school? We’re a bit far from it aren’t we?”

“Patience child. You’ll see soon. Everything will become much clearer once we get inside.”

Carmen felt a pout cross her face. She was not a child. She was a young woman. She had a future and had been accepted to an amazing college and she wanted to be recognized for it. “My name is Carmen, not child, thank you. I am grateful to have you accept me into your home but I am not helpless.”

A laugh left the woman who had been seated next to her. “Of course not dear. You’re not helpless at all. In fact you are going to be quite useful to us. More than you even realize.”

Carmen’s eyes narrowed slightly. She wasn’t completely pacified by the answer but it was enough to tide her over. After all she was still riding on the high of actually being in America and being able to do to what her heart longed to do. So she brushed it aside. Maybe she should have listened to her gut instead of her heart.

As they entered the foyer, it was just as grand as she thought it would be. She did a twirl as a laugh left her lips. When she stopped, she took a good look around and was surprised at what she saw. There were more people in the hall, more than she would have thought. That was when a large, cold hand clamped down on her shoulder, holding her in place. A deeper, growling voice came from behind her, sending a chill down her spine. “Now, now dear. We don’t need any of that. Actually, I’m a bit hungry after such a long trip. If you would be so kind.”

Before she even knew what was happening, a cold hand was brushing her hair from her shoulder, even colder breath ghosted on her neck. She tried to turn but his grasp was so strong she almost felt like he was going to leave bruises on her shoulder. It was then that she realized something was wrong but that thought was wiped from her mind as she felt the razor sharp fangs pierce her skin as a scream left her and slowly tapered off as her vision began to fade to black.

EXTRA

Personality traits:

+ Determined, Passionate, Outgoing

- Narsissistic, Blunt, Over-Confident

Headcanons:

Okay, headcanons are my weak point because until I really start writing them out, I don’t usually have them. They’re usually thoughts that come as I play the character more. So I apologize if they seem a bit generic!

Carmen likes being called by her full name. She’s not really a fan of nicknames. They lack the feeling that she thinks her actual name gives. Plus it’s usually people trying to call her Car and is it really that hard to add another syllable?

When she was really young she loved all of the baby pink ballerina things but as soon as she hit her teenage years, she wanted all black everything. She thinks it makes things much more sophisticated and adult.

She either goes out in full cat-eye or smokey eye glory or not at all. To see her with out her makeup on is truly something rare.

Here is a mock / inspo blog I set up for Carmen. [x] I’ll probably be adding to it up until Friday, just so you know. :3

[weekendwarriorblog]

WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND July 19, 2019 – DAVID CROSBY: REMEMBER MY NAME, THE LION KING

Before we get to the big studio release… which I haven’t seen… I’m gonna focus on a new doc opening in New York and L.A. on Friday, DAVID CROSBY: REMEMBER MY NAME (Sony Pictures Classics). Directed by A.J. Eaton and produced by Cameron Crowe, this movie surprised me first and foremost because I never really had much interest in Crosby Stills and Nash, so I wasn’t sure if I’d really care much to hear Crosby’s story. (Granted, one of my favorite bands, Yes, was hugely influenced by CSN.)

Much of the film is made up of interviews with Crosby conducted by Crowe, who first interviewed Crosby when he was a young journalist in the ‘70s. There are some real revelations in the film – similar to the recent Marianne and Leonard– including Crosby admitting that he got a number of girlfriends hooked on drugs. He also lost a girlfriend in a car accident that deeply affected him, although it’s also interesting to hear from some of his bandmates like Graham Nash, who claim that Crosby is not the nice guy some might perceive.

Whether or not you’re interested in Crosby and his life/career, Remember My Name is a fascinating look at a pivotal person from the ‘60s and earliest days of rock, another great doc from Crowe, who should really be doing more about the history of music.

I may have mentioned before that I have practically zero interest in Walt Disney Pictures’ THE LION KING, even though I am a long-time fan of director Jon Favreau’s work… except The Jungle Book, in which I was disappointed. Maybe it’s just because I was such a fan of the original animated movie and Rudyard Kipling’s book, but not having any immediately connection to the 1994 Disney animated movie, nothing has really gotten me excited to see this one.

You can actually read more about The Lion King over at The Beat.

Bleecker Street also hopes to expand Jesse Eisenberg’s dark comedy THE ART OF SELF-DEFENSE nationwide into over 500 theaters, which seems a bit forward, considering that it didn’t fare nearly as well as A24’s The Farewell in limited release last weekend.

LIMITED RELEASES

Before we get to the regular fare, on Wednesday, Trafalgar Releasing is the Trey Anastasio doc Between Me and My Mind in theaters across the nation on Wednesday night. Being a fan of Trey and Phish and having seen this at the Tribeca Film Festival, I can say that it’s a MUST-SEE for anyone who has ever enjoyed Trey’s vast output both with Phish and his solo groups. Besides showing Trey in the writing and production process for his latest solo album, it also shows him and the members of Phish preparing for the 2017 New Year’s Eve run at Madison Square Garden. Director Steven Cantor was given amazing access to Trey, as he also filmed a few personal conversations the singer/guitarist/songwriter has with his parents about their history together. I’m actually going to see it again tonight.. but if you’re in the New York area, go see it at the Alamo Drafthouse, where it’s hosted by the awesome Jordan Hoffman. (6:30pm show is already sold out but they’ve added a 9:20 showing.)

A couple other docs this weekend include Radu Jude’s Romanian dark comedy I Do Not Care If We Go down in History as Barbarians, which opens at the IFC Center. It’s about the dictator Marshal Ion Antonescu, who started a program of ethnic cleansing in the summer of 1941, something that’s recreated in present day by an idealistic theater director, causing controversy. It opens at the IFC Center on Friday.

Also opening at the IFC Center is Tilman Singer’s German horror film Luz (Screen Media), about a young cab driver who has been contending with a possessed woman who can endanger many lives. Lastly and also at the IFC Center, there’s Paddy Breachnach’s Rosie, the story of a mother trying to protect her homeless family, covering their struggle over 36 hours.

Joe Manganiello from Magic Mike and his wife Sofia Vergara from Modern Family star in  Raymond De Felitta’s Bottom of the 9th (Saban Films) about a baseball player named Bobby Setano, who ends up in jail at the age of 19 just as his career is taking off. 20 years later, he is tryng to win back everything he lost in this movie from the director of the excellent City Island and Rob the Mob. It’s in select theaters, On Demand and digital platforms.

There are two new docs opening at the Metrograph Friday:

Martin Bell’s Tiny: The Life of Erin Blackwell is a follow-up to his 1984 film Streetwise (see “Repertory” below), this one following up on that film’s 14-year-old subject “Tiny” and what she’s been through since then, going from drug addiction to poverty, having given birth to ten children. There’s also Marie Losier’sCassandro, the Exotico! (Film Movement) looking at the 47-year-old Saul Armendariz aka Cassandro, the openly gay champion of the Mexican exotico wrestling circuit, which features competitors in drag. The film is shot entirely on 16mm.

I just want to draw special attention to New York’s Village East Cinemas, which really has turned itself around with the variety of films and programs it’s offering, partially to compete with some of the new and revitalized arthouses. This week, it has three new movies, beginning with At War (Cinema Libre Studios), the new film from French filmmaker Stéphane Brizé (The Measure of a Man), once again teaming him with  Vincent Lindon as Laurent Amédéo, the spokesman for a company that is going to shut down its factory, putting over a thousand employees out of work.

The Village East is also one of the theaters showing Aaron Harvey’s Into the Ashes (RLJEntertainment), starring Luke Grimes as former criminal Nick Brenner who believe he has escaped his past until his old crew shows up for the money he stole from them, taking  Nick’s wife and putting him on a path for revenge.

I know very little Steve Barron’s Supervized except that it’s about four aging superheroes in an Irish retirement home and it stars the likes of Beau Bridges, Louis Gossett Jr., Tom Berenger and Fionnula Flanagan.

LOCAL FESTIVALS

This weekend at the IFC Center is the first-ever 51 Fest, honoring the “female majority on screen” by paying tribute to the women of the world with an amazing line-up of films.  The fest opens at the SVA Theater on Thursday night with Kathy Griffin: A Hell of a Story and then continues at the IFC Center with the New York Premieres of Bart Freundlich’s After the Wedding remake starring Julianne Moore, Paul Downs Colaizzo’s terrific Brittany Runs a Marathon (with a QnA hosted by my pal Ophira Eisenberg), Waad al-Kateab and Edward Watts’s doc For Sama and more. The fest will also host the World Premiere of Lisa Cholodenko’s episode of the Netflix series Unbelievable with Cholodenko and actors Kaitlyn Dever, Danielle Macdonald and Merritt Weaver appearing in person. In general, this seems like a strong new festival with lots of talent attending, so here’s hoping that this becomes a regular annual thing.

STREAMING AND CABLE

Premiering on Netflix Friday is Peter Sullivan’s suspense thriller SECRET OBSESSION, starring Brenda Song (The Social Network) as a newlywed who is brutally attacked at a rest stop leaving her with amnesia. As her husband (Mike Vogel) takes care of her at home, a detective (Dennis Haysbert) goes looking for her attacker who also might have kidnapped his daughter.

I’m more excited about the return of Jerry Seinfeld’s series “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee” with its new season, as it’s one of my favorite Netflix series by far.

REPERTORY

Although there aren’t a ton of limited releases this week, it’s an exciting time for repertory fans for reasons you’ll discover as you go through the entries below.

METROGRAPH (NYC):

To tie-in with the release of Tiny (see above), the Metrograph is also screening of a new restoration of Martin Bell’s 1984 film Streetwise, about the kids who would gather on downtown Seattle’s Pike Street. This weekend’sLate Nites at Metrograph  is the movie musical classic, Alan Arkush’s 1979 movie Rock ‘n’ Roll High School starring the Ramones!Playtime: Family Matineesgoes with Disney’s 1979 film The Black Hole on 35mm, and you can bet I’ll be there for that.

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

As we get closer to the release of Tarantino’s 9thfilm, his rep theater will continues its James Bond series with Thunderball as the Weds. matinee and then both Weds and Thurday night is a grindhouse TRIPLE FEATURE (!!!) of Curtis Hanson’s 1972 film Sweet Kill with 1973’s Soul Hustler (with Larry Bishop in person) and the 1971 film Sweet Saviour.  The Friday/Saturday double feature is Mervyn Le Roy’s Gipsy (1962) with Sidney Pollack’s This Property is Condemned (1966), while Sunday and Monday is a Fabian double feature of Ride the Wild Surf  (1964) and Thunder Alley (1967), the latter co-starring Annette Funicello. This weekend’s KIDDEE MATINE continues the Love Bug series with Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo from 1977. Tarantino’s own Django Unchained is the Friday midnight movie with something called I Love You, Alice b. Toklas (1968), starring Peter Sellers (!), on Saturday at midnight. Monday’s matinee is the 1995 film The Basketball Diaries, starring a VERY young Leonardo DiCaprio. Tuesday night’s official GRINDHOUSE triple feature is Joe Namath’s CC & Company(1970), along with two Jack Starrett films, The Losers  from 1970 and Hollywood Man from 1976. I understand that many of the films being programmed are ones that had an influence on Tarantino’s upcoming film Once Upon a Time in ... Hollywood, which hits American theaters across the country next week.

FILM FORUM (NYC):

Not be outdone by the younger New York “upstart-house” theaters, Film Forum is kicking off a month-long Burt Lancaster seriesbeginning with a week-long 4k restoration of Robert Siodmak’s (1946) The Killers, starring Lancaster and Ava Gardner. The series will then continue with classics like the Sweet Smell of Success and From Here to Eternity starting Friday, July 26, so check back next week for more on this series. Mikhail Kalatozov’s The Cranes are Flying (1957) will end Thursday to make room for above.

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

On Wednesday, comedian Greg Proops screens the 1971 classic Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factoryas part of his “Greg Proops Film Club.” The “Highballs and Screwballs” series continues Thursday with Humphrey Bogart’s Key Largo  (1948) with The Palm Beach Story  (1942). On Friday, the Egyptian does a “Mikhail Kalatozov double feature” of The Cranes are Flying  (1957) and I Am Cuba  (1964), Saturday afternoon is the latest in the “Style of Sin: Pre-Code Film with Kimberly Truhler” series with two starring Kay Francis, Girls about Town (1931) and Jewel Robbery  (1933), both in 35mm, while Saturday night is a screening of Andrei Tarkovsky’s 1979 classic Stalker.

Just a reminder that the AERO is closed for the month of July for “repairs and upgrades” but will be back in August with its own entries in the “Highballs and Screwballs” series.

QUAD CINEMA (NYC):

I’m pretty excited about the second part of the Quad’s Fresh Meat: Giallo Restorations Part II, starting on Friday. I havent’ seen a single one of the movies but with titles like The Forbidden Photos of a Lady Above Suspicion, The Iguana with the Tongue of Fire and Strip Nude for Your Killer, I have to try to see some of these for sure.

FILM OF LINCOLN CENTER (NYC):

FilmLinc’s new summer series is This is Cinema Now: 21st Century Debuts, which is fairly self-explanatory but features fairly new films including Barry Jenkins’ Medicine for Melancholy, screening in a double feature with Damien Chazelle’s Guy and Madeline on a Park Bench, Andrew Bujalski’s Funny Ha Hawith Maren Ade’s The Forest for the Trees, Shane Caruth’s Primer with Richard Kelly’s Donnie Darko, and many more with many screening  twice but a lot only screening once. Some of them are playing as two-for-one double features and if I wasn’t dealing with Comic-Con stuff, I’d totally go see the Damien Chazelle/Barry Jenkins double feature on Saturday night.

BAM CINEMATEK (NYC):

On Friday, BAM begins a series called “Intimate Epics” which includes everything from Paul Thomas Anderson’s Magnolia  (1999) to Hu Bo’s very recent Elephant Sitting Still to Kurosawa’s classic Seven Samurai (1954). It runs through the weekend until Tuesday.

IFC CENTER (NYC)

On Friday, IFC Center will present a 60thAnniversary revival of Alfred Hitchcock’s classic North by Northwest in a new 4k restoration. Still no word on when it’s new series will begin but presumably soon.

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

The Astoria arthouse begins a retrospective called “Barbara Hammer, Superdyke” on Friday, which runs through Sunday, July 28, honoring the late filmmaker with a number of shorts series under the titles “Mediated Sensuality,” “Ecstatic Subjectivity,” “Hall of Mirrors” and more. I really don’t know anything about her films but you can learn more at the link above.

ROXY CINEMA# (NYC)

Weds. and Sunday, the Roxy shows a 35mm print of the 1964 thriller Marnie, while on Thursday, there’s a very rare screening of Roman Polanski’s 1967 dark comedy The Fearless Vampire Killers.

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART  (LA):

Friday night’s midnight offering is Gaspar Noé’s Climaxfrom earlier in the year.. so not old enough to be considered “repertory,” huh?

Next week, it’s all about Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time in… Hollywood! (Seeing it Monday and I’ll have a review next Tuesday.)

[datingadviceonreddit]

Bit long winded, but here goes:I went to high school with a girl whom I'll refer to as Marie. After we graduated in 2011, I've run into her various times at different places in our city. I never thought much of it outside of how funny it was I would always run into her and not many other previous classmates. Naturally, Marie's on my Facebook.A few weeks back when Sarahah was becoming a thing, she posted the link to hers on a Friday night. Not thinking much of it while at the same time thinking, "It's anonymous, Marie won't really know who it is if I say 'I've run into you a couple of times'. I'm sure I'm not the only person she's run into in the past few years. What are the chances!" I sent her a message saying just that: "I've run into you a few times and would love to take you out sometime." I hit sent not giving it much importance. It was a Friday night, so what the hell?To my surprise, a few minutes later Marie sends me a message on FB messenger asking if I had been the one to send her that Sarahah message. In the end, I told her yes, that I didn't think she would figure out who it was. She said that she knew it was me cause I'm the only one she has run into more than 3 times. She then also tells me she accepts my offer to go out. At that point, I thought it would be rude to back out of it and say the whole thing was a joke, so continued on. Again, this was on a Friday, almost at the end of July.We had our first "date" the following Wednesday. We went out to a small restaurant and chatted the night away, naturally catching up. Marie brought up the fact I had sent her the Sarahah message when I could have directly asked her to go out. We laughed. And to you, the reader, go ahead, judge me for it! We then went to grab dessert from a cookie place. At the end of the night, I was surprised as to how well everything had gone, and how Marie's personality and outlook of life aligned so much with mine.I followed up that date two days later, Friday again. I took her to a museum in the city for an event they were holding for an Andy Warhol exhibition along with drinks and a DJ. Since I had not planned out what to do after the museum in advance, we drove around the city thinking of places to eat at. After almost an hour of driving, I decided to take her to a bar I had previously gone to. We got there and dove deeper in conversations. It became even more evident that we held a lot of things in common. When I dropped her off at her house, we ended up making out in the car before she went in.Our third date was a simple movie date (the Thurday after our last one). We went out to eat afterwards and continued getting to know each other. This was when I told her that my intentions with her were honest. That in the beginning of us hanging out I didn't know what I was expecting from it, but that I had not expected to end up liking her the way I did.That Saturday I wanted to go out with her, but she was not free as she was having a cousin stay over that night. Even with that in mind, she invited me to come to her house and hang with them. I declined cause I ended up running a few errands that evening. Sunday morning, I had no plans for the day, so just decided to stay in. She texts me that morning asking me what I was doing that day and I said nothing. She then told me to meet her at her house, that she was taking me out. After going to a restaurant that she wanted to go to but finding out it was closed, we ended up going to a restaurant called Houston's. We again chatted and told each other jokes. Shortly after, we went to Dave & Buster's to play pool and win some tickets in the arcade. We finished the night at Barnes & Noble to read for a while. She's really huge on books. She got me into reading Joe Hill's Heart-Shaped Box that night. I finished the book two days later. (I totally recommend reading it, btw!)In between our dates, I won't say we texted a LOT, but we did text each other to at least check in. She's a Medical Assistant and I'm an Office Administrator so we work full time. Personally, I tried my best to not text her like crazy because I didn't want to come off as desperate or needy. I told her this and she said that wasn't an issue, that everything was cool. Work is work, after all. This past week we were texting and I outright told her that although I didn't want to rush things, I do see us starting a formal relationship. She told me she felt the same way. This past Thursday, I asked her if she wanted to go out to a book place I knew she really wants to go to (Even I wanted to go there before I met up with her for the first time. I'm not a big reader like before, but I do read every once in a while.) Marie said she was working late that night, so that plan was a bust.I forgot to mention, somewhere between our third and fourth date, she invited me out to DragonCon which was just this past weekend. Marie's the biggest Batman and general nerd I have met so far. She loves doing her own makeup and costumes. It's amazing! Anyway, I had agreed to go but due to my brother falling in the hospital the weekend before the con and my supposed plan to go see him again this weekend (He lives out of state), I forgot about it. I ended up not going to see my brother this weekend and she ended up going to the con. I wanted to see her yesterday, Labor Day, but... didn't ask her to. This is where I am having problems.I've been single for almost the past 2 years. I'm the lone wolf type (funny enough, she kinda is, too) so being single for this long wasn't really a big issue for me. I could use the me time to better myself. The thing is.. I kind of wear my heart on my sleeve so now that I have this connection with Marie.. I'm trying my best from keeping my heart from just taking over and giving itself out. As I mentioned earlier, I don't want to come off needy or clingy, so that's why I've been keeping myself at bay from texting her too much, from asking her out too often even though I know she likes me back to the point where she would start a relationship with her.I think I've psyched myself out so much that I'm starting to think I am not prepared to date anyone still, including Marie. I haven't told her any of this because of an innate feeling of not wanting to look weak. I started undermining myself that I don't know what to do at the moment. I think that confusion is also starting to make me look uninterested as I barely text her now, even a little less than before. I was a bit drunk on Saturday night and texted her that I missed her, and she said she missed me too. A few hours later I texted her again, apologizing for having texted her drunk. She asked why I was apologizing and I told her I didn't want to "sour things by coming off too needy," that I wanted to keep the connection I had going with her. She recognized that I didn't text much, and that she wouldn't know those things if I didn't tell her.Have I messed up things badly? How do I go about my situation from now on? Do I just stop talking to her? I'm trying my best to get over this mental block I've put up, this feeling of inadequacy. I feel stupid cause being almost 25, I have this blooming fear that I might end up alone. Now that I have Marie and a chance to actually maybe not end up alone whether it works or not in the long run, I'm fucking myself over.TL;DR: Having been 4 dates, I really like Marie, but my insecurities and doubts are keeping me from actually following through with having a normal, happy relationship with her. Thoughts on how to punch some damn sense into me? via /r/dating_advice