#I have so much more shit for this actually but most of it is just giant spoilers for if I ever decide to write this fr

[hyuneflix]

THE CURE 0.2 • Bang Chan

sex therapist!chan x client!reader after years of unhappy endings, your friend suggests a trip to sydney's most up and coming sex therapist. you hadn't expected much, least of all to discover the cure you'd been looking for all this time was your therapist himself.

word count: 13k << back to dash // next episode >>

CONTENT WARNINGS

𐙚 - female masturbation, mutual masturbation, vibrator use, guided masturbation, dirty talk, use of "slut" and similar terms, chan is called sir, light degradation, light spanking, slapping, more orgasm denial, fingering, oral both female and male receiving, sub!reader, soft dom!chan but some hard dom too, slightly possessive chan, praise, very tiny breeding kink in the form of chan pushing his cum inside her.

! - inappropriate relationship dynamic (chan is her sex therapist), reader is written to be neurodivergent though it isn't explicitly stated, therapy talk/setting, descriptions of self help and healing, brief mention of toxic positivity and dissociation, very brief description of reader having a difficult childhood, talk about hopelessness and feelings of defeat. like last time, everything is intentionally vague but approach with caution all the same.

episode two - a cure for self-dissatisfaction

You couldn’t believe it. You couldn’t believe that you were actually here, again. Making another appointment had sounded so promising in the after-glow of your first ever orgasm–or, at least, the first that felt like that–but now that you were actually here you questioned your sanity. How could you possibly face him after that phone call? Sure, it had been an entire month since then, plenty of time to get over it or just cancel the one-hour slot. You never did, though, and you still couldn’t quite decide why. Was it him that you wanted to see again? So entirely unable to close this chapter of your life now that he’d suddenly made its contents more interesting; turning the pages of your life from dull shades of black and white into hues of technicolour.

Or, maybe it was just that. He made things interesting and you needed interesting.

You weren’t sure when it had happened, the manner with which your fairytale life had twisted and morphed into something so mundane. You had the fancy beachside apartment, the dream job with the fun co-workers. You had the nice clothes and the sparkling jewels to go with them; large wardrobe full to the brim with rare pieces and garaments alike. Even your dating life had been exciting, meeting famous faces and well-off suitors in the upscale establishments you frequented with your friends. But it wasn’t enough. You feared nothing would ever be enough. Nothing exciting enough, glamorous enough, expensive enough to fill the growing feeling of indifference that threatened to paint your entire world grey. 

A part of you liked familiarity, needed it, even. Clung to it in the same way you gripped the straps of your favourite tote bag. It was comforting to ease the unknowns of life with something habitual and constant. But when you did settle, when the anxiety did dissipate, it was like you almost missed it in its absence. It was the adrenaline you craved rather than the anxious wracking of your brain; the adrenaline that followed every redundant fear your mind conjured up; the push of chemicals through your veins as you murmurred ‘oh fuck, am i going to miss my train?’, ‘shit did i leave the stove on?’, ‘did i have a meeting today or was that tomorrow?.’ The bubbling of nervous adrenaline, it was like a shot of espresso, or the abrupt sound of your morning alarm clock. It forced you back to reality, tore you from the prison your restless thoughts built around your consciousness.

Chan had been that too in a lot of ways, a rude awakening of sorts. He had astounded you in more ways than one, tearing you from normalcy and forcing you from your comfort zone in the process. No longer just floating through life while your mind hummed with restless noise. Perhaps that was why, despite every anxious part of you that wanted to run away from him, a deeper, unheard part refused. You’d regret it, wouldn’t you? Walking away from him, vowing to never see him again. You’d regret it almost instantly no doubt, the tick of your apartment’s clock taunting you as it reminded you where you should’ve been on the day of your cancelled appointment. Your mind would trap you again, filling your head with thoughts of what could’ve been, should’ve been, if you’d just pulled yourself together. 

That was of course without mentioning that you indeed remained uncured. You were still very much afflicted with the same inability to get yourself off no matter how hard you tried. You’d done it once, you so foolishly believed from that moment onwards it would be easy. It was not. Even with the vivid memory of that night playing over and over in your mind like a song caught in a loop, you were back to square one. You needed the dark to find the light. How true that had turned out to be, how unfortunate that your infatuation for your therapist was turning out to be more practical than whimsical. You really did need him. 

The timing of your appointment meant that within moments of your arrival, the doe-eyed receptionist was already hurrying off for her lunch break, insisting that you wait for Dr Bang in his office instead. Dr Bang, hearing her say it almost pulled a laugh from your parted lips; what a suitable name for someone in his profession. She didn’t join in with your amused half-chuckle as she gathered her purse and coat. You didn’t blame her, you were sure she’d heard the stifled laughter a million times before. Thanking her one last time as she motioned you toward his office, you pushed open the door expectantly. 

Immediately your eyes fixed on the black oak desk situated in the foreground of the furthest wall. The room was empty, no muscular figure tucked behind the neat workstation, nor situated in the same leather chair he had been a month prior. You breathed out a sigh, your throat finally releasing a breath you hadn’t even realised you’d been holding until you accounted for his absence. You made your way inside, letting the door close behind you with a clack. It felt eerie being in the infinite silence of his abandoned office. Not even the sound of the AC lulled in the background as you wandered throughout the space, taking in the details as if it were your first time being here, and in a way, it was. 

During your last visit you’d been so distracted by Chan you’d been unable to focus on much else, let alone the intricacies of his office. The much too large windows were the first thing you’d noticed, both today and the last. Unlike a month ago they were covered by enormous blinds, the afternoon heat so unbearable today that having the sun exposed would be as sweltering as standing on a shadeless street corner. The lack of AC left the office tepid, and the vacancy of natural light shadowed the once bright room. You felt as if you had stepped into the embrace of a warm hug; one that sucked all the sound from the atmosphere until all that remained was the thumping of your heart.

You could hear it now; your heart. It beat with uncertainty as your eyes trailed across the shelves upon shelves of awards and personal photos behind his desk. You felt like you’d snuck into a secret place you weren’t supposed to be, taking in every detail of someone’s life without an inkling of what any of it meant. One frame held a picture of a smiling boy, a younger girl tucked under his arm in a near chokehold. Judging by the look of disdain on her features, and the mischievous expression on his own, you figured they were siblings. Another picture captured an older version of that boy, one that now more closely resembled Chan. He knelt on the grass, a dog, who’s white fur was blotched with copper-tones, smiled up at him, pink tongue spilling from its mouth. You knew Chan’s life hadn’t started when he met you, but it still felt strange to see it all play out in front of you now. 

The office door opened with a clatter, your body spinning round at the intrusion; trusty tote bag slipping from your arm in the process. You caught hold of the strap before it could fall from your rigid limb completely, eyes settling on Dr Bang himself. He seemed frozen in place, palm clutching the door handle with bleached knuckles. His nervous disposition suggested he’d been preparing himself for this moment, to no avail, and if that were true, you were thankful. At least then you’d be in the same boat. In a second, a mere tick of a clock’s hand, he was back to his usual self, pushing a large smile atop his pillowy lips. 

“Hello, y/n. How have you been?” His voice was soft as he closed the door behind him, the hand that wasn’t clutching a stack of papers flicking on a second set of lights. In an instant the room was engulfed in pale yellow hues, your eyes blinking to adjust. He walked the distance from the door to his desk, letting the pile of papers fall down with a dull thud.

“Could be better, could be worse.” You murmured, still feeling like a deer in headlights. He nodded at this, almost as if he silently understood, agreed even. You didn’t know whether you should stay rooted beside his desk or take a seat, body itching for another of his commands. You hated how badly you wanted him to tell you what to do and how to do it, no matter if it were a simple seating arrangement or one of his filthy, guided masturbations.

“That’s a start, hopefully by the end of the session we can turn it around?” He spoke, tone as level as it had always been, though you noticed how quickly his eyes seemed to wander. It had been impossible last time to look anywhere but him, that intentional and scrutinising stare holding yours for what felt like eternities. His gaze was scattered now, moving from your face to his desk and back again, fingers re-arranging his already neat desk as if attempting to regain control. 

But, regain control of what? His thoughts, his racing heart, his body? You wanted to know. You wanted to crack him open, let the secrets spill from him like yolk. You wanted to study his mind the way he studied you. It was intoxicating, the mystery that still surrounded him. So intoxicating that you were starting to find you didn’t need to get lost in the shadows of his stare, only needed to be close enough to feel the palpable energy, the magnetic charge, that radiated from him like the sun’s unbearable warmth. 

“Should we get started?” He asked, brown eyes leaving the surface of his immaculate desk to search your expression. You nodded, pushing a smile atop your lips as you moved toward the leather chairs, slouching into yours right away. 

You noticed he wasn’t wearing that same dark suit this time, instead he wore a crisp white dress shirt with a few too many buttons undone at the top. The bottom part of it was tucked half-hazardly into a pair of tight ebony trousers. It didn’t remain that way for long. With a raise of his hand–fingers combing through dark curls–one side fell from its confines, a slither of pale skin meeting your hungry gaze. You swallowed, drawing your eyes from his figure as it drew nearer to you, stopping only when he reached the chair opposite you.

“Shall we start with an update?” He questioned, taking a seat while his hand tightened around that same large ipad. “How have you been doing, did you manage to climax again?” 

“No.” You admitted right away, head shaking in disappointment. It was hard to hide how frustrating it was, even more now than before. At least prior to your first happy ending you were none the wiser to how much greener the grass truly was on the other side. Now you’d grazed in it, tasted it, felt it between your fingers and toes. How could you ever return to astro turf after you’d experienced the real thing? 

“No?” Chan looked surprised at this, chin tilting to the side as he drank in your expression. You were sure you looked anything but pleased, brows furrowed as you shook your head no once more. “Okay, did you follow the routine?”

“I did, yeah.” You mumbled, digits playing with the pleats in your skirt.

“What do you think was different?” He asked, looking genuinely curious by your dilemma. 

“Do I even have to say it?” You released a huff of air, heart jumping nervously behind its skeletal confines.

“It would help if you did. Guessing games can lead to miscommunications.” HIs smile was back, dimples pressed prettily against his plush cheeks. How badly you wanted to cup them, how badly you wanted to let the pads of your thumbs brush against the indents that dotted them. How badly you wanted him. 

“I just… I feel like I need your help, you helped so much that time… ever since I haven’t managed it, I mean, what does that tell you?” You asked, heart racing a little faster now, hands growing clammy; thoughts scrambling as you felt your frustration grow. Your situation felt so hopeless, so entirely unfixable. It shouldn’t hurt, but it did. It always would.

So many past relationships flashed across your mind, so many times when you’d watched the partners in your life walk away. Their promises that you’d never be too much, that there was no storm you couldn’t weather together, ground to dust beneath their retreating steps. There had been other issues that ended the relationship of course, not this one, never this one. Yet it still seemed so unbelievably ironic how, try as they might, they never could fix this little problem. How laughable it was that Chan had managed within hours of meeting him. 

“You- you need my help with climaxing?” He seemed taken aback, his innocence almost sending your eyes rolling. How could he be so surprised? Had he not been on that phone call with you after all, had that all been a vivid dream? 

“I think so, yeah.” You opted to speak instead, fingers still playing lazily with your clothing in search of some relief from the awkwardness of the conversation. 

“I’m sure you just need a little direction and practice.” He shook his head, ever the dismissive party out of the two of you. But you knew better now. You’d heard the way he fell apart, heard the things he’d said when all resolve had vanished. He was just as depraved, just as desperate and needy but he hid it well. He cowered behind fabricated boundaries, crossing one and then inventing another. He pushed, and he pushed, but he always found a new way to hold back. You wanted to test that, wanted to make him snap. Was that bad? 

“I’m twenty-five Chan, I think if practice was going to do it I’d have done it by now.” You shook your head, tone uncharacteristically sarcastic as you let your frustrations slip. He winced at this, taken aback by the change in your tone. Easily your annoyance dampened, sigh falling from your lips as quickly as your apology “I’m sorry, that was– I’m just– I feel defeated.” 

“It’s understandable, you don’t need to apologise.” Chan offered you a comforting smile, eyes glimmering with a patient understanding that had you thawing instantly. 

“Can’t you just, I don’t know, tell me what to do. Like give me some direction or something.” You asked, trying to pry more solutions from his all-knowing brain. 

“Like on the phone?” He questioned, palm gliding across his thick thigh as he spoke. You couldn’t help the way your gaze followed its movement, long fingers instantly taking you back to that night. You pictured them wrapped around his length, the wet sound of his desperate, thrusting grip, too much to think about right now. You squirmed in your seat, thighs pushing together in momentary distress. 

“Yeah like then, is there more I can do?” You asked, trying to hide your growing weariness behind another frustrated huff. 

“Perhaps you need to focus on finding ways to relax, maybe you have a problem switching off, moving from one task to the other. If you’re still tense when you’re masturbating then it can be hard to let yourself go.” He was so composed, seemingly so unaware of the way you were breaking down internally. How did he do it? How did he look at you with such easy indifference after that night. Maybe he was just that; indifferent. Maybe you’d been looking at this all wrong. 

“Okay.” You shrugged, barely listening by now.

“You don’t look happy with that.” Chan pushed for an answer, clasping his apple pen a little tighter in anticipation of your response. 

“I’m not patient enough. I guess I just hoped that it was fixed. But, now I have to get used to the idea of this being some long healing journey as if I haven’t had enough of those. As if I haven’t–fucking–read enough–fucking–self-help books or listened to enough ‘all you need is recharged rose quartz and you’ll be fine’--fucking–influencers.” You felt your hands grip at your forehead in defeat, palms attempting to erase the tension that settled there through half-hazard motions. You wanted to laugh at the way you got so easily wound up, but the idea of starting yet another ‘healing era’, felt suffocating, impossible even. 

How much more growing was there to do? Some people say it never stops, but you’ve had a lifetime of it. A lifetime of people pointing out your flaws, telling you what was wrong or what needed fixing. You’ve had a lifetime of changing everything about you until something felt right, like a puzzle piece clicking into place. A lifetime of trying to do everything right just to be told you were doing it wrong, anyway. You weren’t emotional enough, then you were too emotional. You were loud, then too quiet. You were rude, then you were compliant. It took reaching your twenties to realise you didn’t really care who you were, or how you acted, as long as you were happy with yourself. 

It felt freeing, so entirely exhilarating to feel as if you were done changing, morphing and growing into someone else’s idea of a normal human woman. It matched you well, but it was also tiring. You’d grown to be independent far younger than you probably should’ve, your therapist said it built character, you thought that was stupid even at ten years old. Having a childhood built character, having healthy relationships and good role models; that was what you needed. People’s incessant criticisms had felt like the only freedom from your independence for so long; the only time you weren’t thinking for yourself. Bittersweet was the lingering feeling that remained for a few years after your new found self-assurance. 

It was stupid, to crave something that had been so toxic, but that was just so unequivocally you. Hate something with every fibre of your being when you had it just to miss it when it was gone. Didn’t matter how much it hurt you, didn’t matter that it damn nearly killed you, only the good parts of it remained in its absence. The ghosts of memories even your unrelenting, self-sabotaging brain forgot. Were those the causes of your dissociation? The fragmented memories of times gone by, the missing pieces still stashed away in some untravelled corner of your mind?

“These things do take time, yeah.” Chan pulled you from your thoughts, tugging a sigh from your lips as you shook your head in defeat.

“Fuck that, there’s gotta just be something in me that doesn’t work, right? Like there’s just a part of me that can’t do it and I’m gonna have to just live with that.” Your arms raised in exasperation, frustrated rambles not phasing him in the slightest. You figured that shouldn’t surprise you, despite everything that had transpired between you, despite how unlikely it sometimes seemed, he was a therapist. A person you were paying to listen to you speak. A person you had essentially paid to make you cum. Jesus. 

“But you did.” He countered.

“No, you did.” You reminded him, his brows rising at the implication. 

“That was all you, I just helped.” He shook his head, dismissive once more. 

“Can’t you help me again, then? Just tell me what to do, show me. Make that part of me wake the fuck up and realise it has a job to do. Fix me again.” You murmured helplessly, searching his mind for something, anything that could ease your anguish. 

“You want that? You want me to teach you? You want me to fix you?” He spoke after a beat of silence, plump mouth emphasising your latter sentiment. A switch had seemingly been flipped in him, reminding you of his faltering resolve from a month ago. You were sure it was your imagination–after all he was so quick to collect himself–but that was expected, you didn’t know him well enough. You didn’t know how badly he yearned to ‘fix you’. 

There was a saying that went along the lines of this; therapists need therapy the most The first part of their adult lives were dedicated to learning the secrets of the mind, just to spend the rest of it fixing other people’s. The perfect distraction; fix others so you don’t have to fix yourself. Yeah, that was him. Finding distraction after distraction to avoid the complicated mess in his own brain. But that wasn’t just it. No, Chan was a people pleaser, a man so desperate to be needed that he put his heart in danger every single fucking time. 

He’d lost count by now, the amount of times he’d run in blindly; falling for a pretty girl with pretty problems. A pretty girl with a pretty smile and a pretty big hole in her pretty heart. He did it every single time. He’d never mixed work with self-sabotage though, this was unchartered territory. But that was then, one slip up, one mistake made in the heat of the moment. How could he not? You were so pretty, sounded so pretty pleading for him to help you. Not even he had the patience for that. 

“Yes.” You breathed out, eyes turning wide and expectant beneath his weighted retort. There you were again, looking hopeful, as if he really did have the power to cure you. But he didn’t, Chan had learned that again and again; he couldn’t change the last girl, or the girl before, or the girl before that and he couldn’t change you. Not like this anyway, not through lust or–heaven forbid–love. Growing attached, letting them be dependent, it was bad in the end; always bad, never good like he’d intended.

“I can’t, you’re not broken.” He assured you, not a drop of insincerity mixing with the honey sweet tone of his soft voice.

“Then pretend I am and fix me anyway– break me just to put me back together again– I don’t care, just please do something to make it stop.” You felt a little frantic now: he wasn’t giving you the answers, wasn’t providing solutions. Was it really that hopeless? Were you really this cursed? Knowing that the cure was right in front of you, within arms reach, but too far to hold. Too distant and closed off, too unwilling to give you what you know you needed. 

Were you crazy for thinking he wanted it to, were you delusional for thinking you could see the fire in his eyes every time you reached for him with words? The air around you didn’t lie though, did it? Or were you the only one feeling that constant chemical reaction that surrounded you both. That fizzle and burn, that electric fever that drove you crazy; depriving you of clean, pure air with every breath. It was filling your lungs with hot embers, you could feel it, could feel the way it choked you of all sense and left only desire in its place. Could he really not feel it too? 

“Make what stop, love?” The nickname wasn’t lost on you, its presence sent a ripple of hope across your skin, igniting goosebumps in its path.

“I don’t know, everything I guess. The boredom, the anxiety, the noise, the frustration, the emptiness; all of it went away that night and I’ve been trying to get back there ever since.” You admitted, teeth gnawing at your lip, brows scrunched together in frustration. Chan thought you looked utterly pitiful in the hottest way. Was that possible? To look pathetic and undeniably attractive all at once. Yeah, it was; you were. 

“I can’t cure you, you know that right? You have to do that on your own.” He insisted. It was true, wasn’t it? Historically speaking, practically speaking. People can’t change other people, that was how it worked right? They had to change on their own, grow alone, love themselves before they could learn to love someone else. If they didn’t, they’d be forever codependent, clinging to the sun that helped them grow into a fully flourished person. But the sun went down, it didn’t stick around forever; he couldn’t stick around forever. 

“But what if…” 

“I can’t.” He was quick to cut you off, not wanting to fill your head with pointless sentiments of hope. Whether he wanted to or not, whether you wanted to or not, you had to stand on your own two feet. He knew this to be true more than ever when it came to your own pleasure. You couldn’t depend on him for that; he couldn’t fill the void. He’d fall in love too easily, catch feelings in an instant. How could he ever make it out of that alive? It wasn’t right, you deserved better. Deserved to know your own body, how it felt, what made you feel good.

“Try?” You spoke, voice barely above a whisper, eyes wide and pleading. 

“I can’t.” He huffed through gritted teeth, jaw stiff with useless restraint.

“Please?” You looked at him as if he held the world and all its mysteries in his grasp, ready to hand them over if only you could wear him down enough. It wasn’t not working, he hated to admit. 

“Don’t… don’t do that.” He shook his head, eyes dipping to the ipad in his grip as he drew mindless patterns across its slick screen. It was enough to distract him for a moment, but not long enough.

“So, I just, I just go home and try the same shit again then is that it? Another month of nothing? Or can I call again, would you pick up if I did?” Your words had his cock twitching, palms growing clammy. That night haunted him. It felt so wrong, so completely fucked up. He lay awake for nights after that wondering if he should resign, turning his dream of owning a successful therapeutic clinic into a distant memory with the same stroke. But more than that, he wondered if you’d call again. Would you need him some more? Would you lean on him a little longer? Was it really true that he was the missing piece? That only he could make you cum.

“You know I would.” He responded in an instant, too quick in fact. “I’m surprised you didn’t call, to be honest.” He chuckled, attempting to seem unaffected. As if he hadn’t been waiting by the phone every evening, as if he hadn’t checked and re-checked for missed calls when sleep didn’t come to him easily. 

“I wanted to try on my own; I’m really trying.” You half-whined and that sound alone was enough to have every noise from a month ago flooding his mind at once. His hips shifted, tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip. 

“I know, baby, you’re so good.” He sighed, resolve slipping; gaze darkening along with it. You saw it happen right in front of you, pupils dilating, mask slipping from his handsome face. “How about this… You show me how you do it at home and I’ll see if there are areas for improvement?” Chan suggested, against what he knew to be his better judgement. Fuck it, though, right? He could cross another line, just one more, find a new one to draw between you to keep you at arms length. You’d seen right through him in that regard, knew exactly how he justified each gradual crawl toward your eagerly awaiting form. 

“You want me to… now?” You blinked, fireworks erupting in the pit of your stomach signaling an internal celebration of what you were almost sure was a triumphant victory. 

“Isn’t that what you want? To make a mess of my chair? To cum again?” His words sent a jolt of something electric and sweet straight to your core. Your teeth felt like blades, threatening to draw blood from the plump flesh of your bottom lip as you nodded wordlessly, too turned on at the prospect of getting to climax again to formulate a coherent sentence. 

“Why don’t you lift that little skirt of yours and show me how you pleasure yourself.” His voice was low, impossibly dark gaze studying you with an almost predatory stare. Your nerves stood alert like the hairs of your arm, hands moving at their own accord. You moved the hem of your skirt up the meat of your bare thighs, his eyes following your motions closely before fixing on the sheer fabric of your damp panties. 

You felt like an imposter in your own skin as you spread your legs, circling the pads of your fingers across your clothed clit in compliance. You tried to stop the heat from rising in your cheeks, from pulsing through your blood like lava, the molton toxicity wetting your panties even more. You were helpless to it; the growing intensity of your lust. It was strange, the combination of embarrassment mixed with desire. It felt like a dangerous cocktail, one destined to leave you with a hangover unlike any other you’d felt; a banging headache, a sick feeling, a desperation for a wellness you could never reach without it. 

Was that what this was? A growing addiction?  An inability to feel better without him, or an unwillingness to find an alternative cure? You pushed the thoughts from your mind, easily too with the help of his sultry voice, though all the same the bubbling of nervousness remained. 

“This is how you do it? What’s rule number one? What did we do last time?” He asked, too put together considering the pornographic movie that was playing out in front of him. His eyes told a different story though, hungry and feverish as you moved your fingers clumsily. 

“Umm, take my clothes off?” You managed between huffs of impatient air, wanting nothing more than to skip to the part where your toes were curling, head tipped back in reticent ecstacy. You moved your hands away from your clothed cunt, starting to remove the tight fitting crop top a strap at a time. You watched his jaw grow slack at this, your confidence growing in place of the initial uncertainty. 

You put on a show for him, suddenly abandoning the idea of being taught the ways of your pussy in favour of winding him up. Both straps fell past your shoulders, the rough material of your tiny top grazing your perky nipples as you dragged it down your chest, letting your plump breasts spill out from beyond its fabric confines. His brow twitched, lips faltering along with it as he watched the bounce of your tits.

“Mhm and start with your nipples, make them feel good, work yourself up.” Pulling your top off completely, you followed his demands, fingers tugging at your hardening buds. You remembered his advice from the last time, making sure to wet your digits with your tongue in a slow sinful motion. This earned a half moan from the man, his body shifting as he hid his faltering confidence behind a closed fist. With his chin resting against it, he gazed at you through his lashes, watching every pinch and tug with a hawk-like intensity. 

“I’m already so worked up.” You groaned, unable to hold his heated glare any longer. You lulled your eyes toward the wet patch growing in your panties, pussy clenching around nothing at the sight of it. 

“I make you worked up?” He mused, leaning forward in interest. Leveled as his voice remained, his restless form gave him away; dilated pupils darting between your hard nipples and your soaked underwear. His bottom lip caught between his teeth, moan designed behind a cough at your response. 

“Yeah, so bad.” You mewled, one hand traversing the expanse of your smooth skin until your fingers met with the pool of sticky wetness between your thighs. You pulled at the band of your panties, sighing at the feeling of the tight fabric squeezing against your sensitive clit. You watched his expression as you drank in every movement, the obvious stiffness mounting in his crotch area not going unnoticed by you. 

You wondered what it would take to have him desperate for his own release again, enough to disregard every one of his frivolous boundaries until his head was too clouded with intoxicating lust to draw a new line between you. 

“Don’t focus on me, focus on yourself and your body.” It was almost like he knew, as if he could read your mind; could sense the way it reeled with thoughts of him and him alone. You tugged at your panties again, focusing on the movement of your fingers as they swirled around your excited nipple. “That’s good, don’t be shy now, you weren’t shy last time.” 

“You couldn’t see me last time.” You murmured, the tips of your ears and apples of your cheeks the same shade of crimson. 

“You’re beautiful, don’t be embarrassed.“ Chan shook his head, shifting in his seat once again. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get comfortable, not when the growing ache in his pants became harder and harder to ignore. “Now do what we did last time, feel what works best for you, take your time.” 

“This?” You questioned, fingers pulling your panties aside as strings of sticky cum followed suit. You touched your bare clit with care, jolting and wincing with each caress. You were so sensitive, so turned on by the intent stare he fixed on your soaked cunt. You traced a finger down the seam of your pussy, rubbing the thick, juicy substance across your bundle of nerves in a clockwork motion. 

“Yeah, that’s right, feel yourself.” He drew a breath, tongue darting across his lips, hands not sure what to do with one another as he watched the sight play out in front of him. “That’s good, does that feel good?” Chan questioned, slouching back in his chair as if the increased distance would afford him some alleviation from your mesmerising performance. 

“Yeah, I think so.” You retorted, repeating the back and forth between your clit and dampening folds. You teased your entrance with the gentle prod of your fingers, tight clenching accompanying each experimental push. 

“Do what makes you feel good, learn what you like.” It was unbearable how calm he was, a whine leaving your lips as his professional tone. 

“How.” You murmured, the strumming of your clit increasing in speed as you felt a pleasurable sensation begin to wash over you. 

“Try new things, keep touching yourself–why don’t you take those panties off and give your pussy a slap.” You nodded, eagerly complying with his wishes as you pulled your panties down your legs letting the sheer fabric pool at the base of your chair. You placed your skirt there too, completely bare save the pair of kitten heels snug around your feet. 

“What?” The second part of his statement had you puzzled though, or perhaps it was just the intense feeling of being exposed in front of a person who was not only fully clothed but seemingly unbothered. Yeah, maybe that was it; that would be enough to have anyone confused and uncertain.

“You like it rough don’t you? Smack your pussy, give your clit a spanking for me.” His words had your hips shifting, a moan tumbling from your lips. Everything sounded better coming from his full mouth, the gravel tone interlaced with his thick accent–it was unbearable. 

“Like this?” You questioned, landing a smack against your sensitive clit. Both of you moved in sync, hips shifting at the shrill noise your palm made abusing your sensitive nub. Your face screwed up at the feeling, the delightful sting accompanied by another wave of self-satisfaction. 

“Harder.” He growled, moan mingling with his next words. “Yeah, you like that? I can see how wet you are, keep spanking your pretty little cunt.” You complied, strings of whines and groans following each harsh slap. 

“You’re making me this wet.” You mewled, expression still contorted in pleasure. Chan wasn’t sure how he’d expected to make it through this entire ordeal, that had been foolish thinking on his part. He hadn’t expected you to be so brazen though, both nervous in your disposition but shameless in your filthy words and actions. His cock was impossibly hard in his pants now, hand itching to relieve the tension.

“Fuck don’t say that, gonna have to learn how to make yourself cum when I’m not around.” He insisted, though in truth you were saying all the right things to morph him into malleable putty, substance perfect for the palms of your hands; mass supple enough to wrap around your finger. “That’s good, yeah that’s good fuck you’re clenching around nothing.” 

“Wanna be full.” You whined, pinching and rubbing at your clit with a rise and fall of your hips. You could tell the chair beneath you was drenched by now, the surface becoming slippery beneath your clammy thighs.

“Fuck yourself with your fingers, start with one and keep adding as many as your greedy little cunt needs to feel full.” His resolve was slipping, you could tell, could connect the dots from that night a month ago. It filled you with confidence, had your heart racing and limbs squirming as you rubbed your clit more furiously. 

“Not gonna be enough.” You shook your head, hoping, so intensely, that he would just give up and finish you himself. You could practically sense it, the way his fingers would make you feel, the sharp rush of intense white light that bubbled up with every thrust of his skilled digits. How perfectly they’d fill your tight hole, stretching you open as if preparing you for his fat cock. You slid a finger inside, feeling empty despite the new intrusion. 

“You just need to learn how to make yourself feel good baby, curl your fingers, do a scissor motion, whatever makes you feel the best.” He was still instructional in his method, but he looked anything but the calm teacher he’d been previously. Chan was leant forward now, tongue poking out his mouth, elbows propped on his knees as he watched you intensely. 

“How?” You questioned, brows scrunched.

“How, what baby? Use your words.” He asked, his palms rubbing together in a useless attempt to distract his mind from the ache in his pants.

“How do I make it feel good, sir.” You elaborated, pushing another finger inside your convulsing pussy. 

“Fuck, god, gonna make me crazy if you keep that up.” He run a hand through his hair, hips rising from the chair. His dark hair looked a mess by the time his fingers were done combing and tugging with restraint. You didn’t think it was possible for him to look any sexier, but his disheveled appearance proved otherwise. 

“Please.” You implored, the steady back and forth of your fingers slowing to a standstill at his next words. 

“You want me to show you, yeah?” He licked his lips shamelessly at you, hungry eyes awaiting your response with uninhabited lust. 

“Yes, please, so bad.” You mused, squirming in your chair at the prospect of his fingers tucked snugly inside your needy pussy. You hoped this wasn’t a dream, that you weren’t about to jolt awake to the shrill sound of your alarm clock. 

“Beg, show sir how badly you want his fingers inside you.” He murmured, jaw clenching at the sight of your pussy as it squeezed around nothing. “Keep circling your clit, yeah, keep going.” He commanded you, and without hesitation you followed. 

“Please, please, want you to fill me so bad, please sir- please.” You keened, fingers toying frantically with your bundle of nerves. 

“That’s it baby, keep getting yourself off, you're doing such a good job on your own.” He licked his lips again, chest heaving with every circular motion. You pushed your fingers back between the snug walls of your cunt, moving your hips to accompany the thrust of your digits. 

“I need more, please.” You wailed, the edge you’d wanted to revisit so badly gradually inching into view. 

“You really want my help, baby?” He asked, almost as if he were undecided. That couldn’t be it, though. There was no conceivable way Chan could doubt your desire to have him, in whichever way he was willing to give. He wanted to hear you beg some more, didn’t he? Wanted to hear just how badly you needed him, as if seeing it wasn’t enough. 

“Please.” You gave him what he wanted, putting on your best forlorn expression to better your chances. It worked, a little too well judging by the haphazard way he fell to his knees in front of you. Whatever glimmer of self-discipline he’d been clinging to, it was gone now, and in its place: a man starved. 

“You’ll tell me if you wanna stop, can you do that for me?” He looked up at you with hopeful eyes, his final attempt at giving you an out. An insincere part of him hoped you would, that you’d be the one to grasp ahold of your better sensibilities and put an end to your affair. But you didn’t, of course not, you never would, would you? He doubted it, not when your gaze exuded a level of desperation he was sure he’d only seen in wild animals. Instead, you nodded, teeth claiming your bottom lip as you did so. “Good girl.” 

Chan wasted no time sliding a finger inside your warm walls, a drawn out groan falling from his lips at the spongy grip that took a hold of his digit. His hips shifted compulsively as you tightened around him, a second finger inching its way in as he studied every rise and fall of your expression. Another moan from your lips–another half-grunt, half-groan from his own. He pushed his digits deeper, thrusting them in and out at a steady pace, letting his knuckles brush against your velvety clit.

“Ugh, that’s good.” You practically screamed out, head tipping back with a wide open-mouthed grimace; face contorted in unimaginable pleasure. How was it possible to feel this good? You thought you’d reached the maximum capacity for bliss that night, but Chan was showing you an entirely new palette of gratifying hues. 

“Barely touching you, darling. So desperate, hmm? Not been able to get off without me? Need me that badly?” He mewled, lips pressing wet, desultory kisses to your shoulder and collarbone. Your body twitched and seized beneath him, eyes rolling back at the sensation of his plump mouth against your hypersensitive skin. Every nerve felt as if it were going haywire, every brush of his bony flesh against your clit feeling like a rush of adrenaline. It was then that he did something truly toe-curling, the sudden feeling of something prodding at just the right angle inside of your tight walls; it had your spasming wildly beneath him. 

“Yeah I need you, need you to make me cum–need your cock in me, want you to stretch me out.” You sang in between moans, hands clinging to his clothed shoulders, nails latching onto him harshly. 

“Fuck, baby, slow down. Gonna take my time; you gotta take your time.” He panted, dark eyes finding yours in among the thick haze of lust that consumed you both. It had you moaning even louder, the combination of his intoxicating stare and that unidentifiable sensation threatening to push you over the edge prematurely. 

“Oh god, so much better.” You whined, tears filling your eyes, forehead shifting to press against his own as you clung to him for dear life. The warmth that radiated from his body was like a balmy embrace, the rousing scent of his cologne only adding to the numbing of your senses. He smelled incredible; expensive and masculine but with an undertone of something musky and thrilling. You wanted more of it, more of him. Wanted to taste him, to feel his cock pushed so far past your walls you could feel him rearranging your guts; the head of his member visibly prodding at the pit of your stomach. You wanted his mouth on yours, tongue exploring the inside of your mouth until he’d discerned every inch of you, top to bottom. 

You felt safe beneath his strong body, the hand that wasn’t busy splitting your open prying at your thigh until he managed to hook a leg over his shoulder. You felt your head fall back again, eyes squeezing shut as he sped up his pace, the room filling with the sound of your drenched pussy. The squelching was so lewd, so loud that you were sure you’d cum from that alone. Could feel it in the way your cunt clenched again and again, sucking his digits in and refusing to let them free.

“That’s ‘cause I’m curling them. Feel the difference?” He murmured, tone the only thing calm about him now. Looking down at him, you saw the frazzled expression painted across his handsome face, the frantic look in his eyes underpinning that same predatory stare. “Mmm fuck– gonna find your g-spot; gonna make you scream.” 

“Chan, fuck, please.” You wailed, hips bucking upwards in motion with his thrusts. He pushed you down with his free hand, cheek pressing against the meat of your leg as he watched you intently. His attentive stare didn’t last long, though, not when your pussy was putting on such a pretty show for him. His arm was soaked, the chair beneath you was drenched, juices pooling on the floor by your clothes. 

“So hot–stay still for me baby, did I hit the spot?” You could only nod now, moans coming out in pitchy screams as you bucked against his firm palm, desperately trying to fuck yourself with his fingers. You couldn’t describe it, the pleasure that was building inside of you, the edge that was careening so close to your helpless, frantic body that you could taste your orgasm on the tip of your tongue. 

“Yeah, think so, oh god, oh my god.” You found your words at last, whining disapprovingly when his fingers left your needy pussy empty in favour of pushing past his plump mouth. Your gaze drank him in as he did so, watching with narrowed eyes as he sucked on them. It was slow and erotic and downright torturous, a string of desperate moans tumbling from his glistening pink lips. 

“Fuck you taste so good, let me taste you properly, please can I?” Apparently it was his turn to beg, his nose nuzzling against the inside of your thigh as he adjusted the leg propped atop his shoulder. 

“Please, please, do whatever you want, own me.” You nodded frantically, wanting nothing more than to return to that blissed out state you’d been so caught up in. 

“You want me to make this pussy mine, for real? Want me to fuck you rough like the slut you are?” You wanted him to mean what he was saying, but something told you he wasn’t. That was as a line you were certain he wouldn’t cross, not for now anyway, but you could live with that. A sentiment that rang even truer when you felt the rough texture of his tongue against your puffy, sopping cunt.

The reverberation of his moans only added to the intense wave of pleasure that overcame you, his frenzied ministrations causing your hips to buck, thighs closing around his head. He took it all, licking up and down your pussy as if lapping up your juices. Whatever lesson this was supposed to teach you about masturbation, you didn’t know, and you weren’t about to question him about it, not when you switched to burying his face in your leaking pussy, tongue fucking you with purpose as his nose prodded your swollen clit. 

“Yes, please, sir–ruin me.” You grabbed ahold of his hair, earning another moan from the man as he continued devouring your drenched cunt. Every time he lapped at your sweet juices, more poured from your clenching hole, his tongue drinking up every last drop as he shifted between your entrance and your sensitive nub. 

“Fuck this isn’t good.” He groaned, breathing out words in the short amount of time he spent away from your pussy; allowing him mere moments to suck in oxygen before he dove back in. “We shouldn’t be doing this, baby, you’re driving me crazy.”

“Ugh, that feels so fucking good.” This time he focused his mouth on your clit, lips wrapping around your bud as he pushed his fingers inside of you, thrusting in knuckles deep with a pace that bordered on animalistic. Your fingers gripped his hair just as aggressively, hips moving at their own accord as you felt the edge of your orgasm hurtle towards you. 

“Good keep going, use my fingers fuck yes.” He moaned, breaths coming out in desperate pants against your sensitive clit. The gentle push of air paired with his relentless thrust of his fingers against your g-spot was enough to have you screaming, head falling backward, cunt convulsing as you felt that white light begin to encase you.“Shit you’re cumming so soon? Oh fuck, yeah, fuck, so messy.” 

“Fuck, please, keep going– no why did you stop?” That feeling you’d been so frantic to chase, the bright, welcoming light that you’d been so ready to rush toward was ripped from you the moment his fingers exited your clamping walls. You looked at him in disbelief, body spent, skin aglow with sweat.

“It's your turn, do what I did.” He rejoindered. 

“No, no please” You shook your head, tears welling over as you pleaded with him to give you release. This was bordering on mean, knowing how frustrated and desperate you were to feel that warm white release only to pry it from your begging hands. 

“Come on pretty girl, you got this. Let me help you.” His palms ran comforting patterns across your skin, face still level with your pussy as his breath fanned across your sensitive core. You twitched beneath him, stare holding his own in hopes your beseeching eyes could reason with him. 

“Not the same.” You murmured, shaking your head once more. 

“Don’t be greedy now, come on.” He spoke, landing a slap against your clit in warning. Your hips jumped, sensitive pussy clenching around air as you greedily accepted your punishment. Despite your momentary disobedience, you followed his request, pathetic fingers moving down between you both to begin thrusting in and out of your weeping hole. “Good girl, keep going.” 

“Need yours.” You sobbed, the feeling of your digits nowhere close to the pleasurable strokes of his thick, veiny hand. 

“Hmm, why don’t we try a new toy? See if you can make yourself cum like that?” He suggested, and how he’d managed to maintain any semblance of his role as your sex therapist after annihilating your pussy with his pretty lips, you had no idea. Truly the man was a saint, he hadn’t even touched his hard cock once, too busy pleasuring you to even notice the impossibly tight feeling in his pants.

“Okay…” You agreed, body beginning to ache with fatigue. 

“Keep playing with yourself, slap that pretty little clit around while I find a toy for baby girl to play with.” Chan commanded, and you obeyed. 

You watched him walk the short distance to his desk, opening one of the cupboards to look over a collection of unboxed sex toys. The consistent branding told you it was probably a sponsorship deal, a collaboration of sorts. But you didn’t pay the toys enough attention to confirm this, no, instead you watched the way his back flexed, vein hands tugging at a box before returning it to its home. It was utterly unfair how even the back of him could drive you crazy; everything about him was thick, masculine and oozing sex appeal. Yet despite the plumpness of his arms, thighs and ass, his waist remained tiny beneath the crisp fabric of his shirt. You wanted to see what lay beneath his tight-fitting clothing so badly, the thought enough to have your fingers speeding up in a newfound wave of ecstasy. 

“What about this? Long like my fingers, that’s what you like right?” He returned with a different vibrator. Unlike the other one, this had some sort of vibrating node for your clit; making sure to stimulate every inch of you it could touch. 

“Lemme show you how this works, okay? Gonna use it just like the vibrator, push it up as far as your little cunt can bear.” Chan grumbled, tongue licking his lips as he lowered himself to his knees again. Removing it from its packaging with ease, he pressed the velvety device against your desperate cunt, quizzical gaze searching for any signs of hesitation. 

“I can take it all, please make me take it.” You were quick to retort, squirming in anticipation of what was to come. You hoped, no you prayed, that this time he’d make you cum, not stopping till your body was limp and spent, eyes rolled back in your head and screams so pitchy not a sound came out. You wanted that, you wanted that so bad. 

“Fuck, you’re so hot when you’re all wound up baby, you sure you want that?” His voice was low, free hand coaxing your leg back over his shoulder as he peppered kisses to your inner thigh.

“Please, pretend it's your cock. How would you fuck me?” You whined, hands shifting to pinch at your nipples desperate for any form of release.

“No, no you can’t think like that baby.” He shook his head dismissively, using the toy to push up and down your gushing pussy, chuckling wickedly every time your body twitched. 

“You want it too, don’t you? Wanna know what it’s like to fuck me? So do–” You couldn’t even finish getting the words out before he was shoving the toy into your needy hole with force, a dark expression atop his faltering features. “Yeah fuck, like that.” You screamed out, your pussy barely able to sheath the toy with how puffy and swollen your walls were.

“That feel good, baby?” He growled, teeth gritted as he pushed the device in and out of you with fever.

“So good.” You whimpered, bucking your hips in time with his thrusts.

“Gonna have to take over, you need to learn for yourself.” He reminded you, your head shaking in an instant. 

“Not yet, keep going please.” You sobbed tearlessly, moans coming out in broken, melodic strings of half-cries and curse words. 

“Haven’t even turned the vibrate on and you’re already clenching like a whore.” He tutted, tongue spilling from his lips as he got lost in your pleasure. It looked like he enjoyed this almost as much as you did, his brows furrowed in concentration as he took in every change in your expression. 

“Can I touch you?” You whined out, hips bouncing in time with his expertly timed thrusts. Your hands reached out, starting to undo the buttons of his dress shirt with a growing desire to see him naked and exposed like you were. He didn’t show any resistance, even shuddering beneath the graze of your nails against his bare chest as you opened the unbuttoned top. He looked delectable; toned muscles flexing with every thrust of his arm. 

“No, then I really will wanna fuck you.” He murmured, setting another boundary you had every intention of crossing; his forehead leaning down to press against yours, bodies as close as they could possibly be given the current position. His lust-filled gaze sparkled in the shadowed confines of your close faces, the soft whimpers and laboured breaths that left his parted lips sending your body into overdrive. You leaned forward to connect your lips, mouth ghosting over his for a nanosecond before he moved his face away from yours. You whined, aching to chase after him but opting to pry a little more instead. 

“Will you touch yourself when it’s my turn then?” You questioned, hungry eyes searching his for any signs of defiance.

“You want that?” He whimpered, free palm pushing you down against the soaked leather chair once more, trying to keep your quivering body still beneath him. 

“Yeah wanna hear you moan again.” You yelped, clenching again and again around the silicon toy, wanting more than anything to replace it with his meaty cock.

“Does that turn you on?” Chan asked, proud grin on his lips.

“So bad.” You murmured, head rolling back as you felt him graze against your g-spot with the tip of your new device. “Wanna watch your cock make a mess– oh my god I’m so close Channie~” He didn’t let you finish, turning the vibrator on mid sentence. The sudden change in sensation caused you to shake and convulse beneath him, creaming the toy with every pointed thrust he offered your greedy cunt. 

“Yeah? Take over for me baby, fuck yourself like the depraved slut you are.” You could barely think straight, eyes glazed over with unadulterated, carnal desire. 

“Fuck you’d break me open so good, want your cock so bad.” You mumbled, taking the toy from his grip to try and match his relentless pace. You weren’t even close, too tired, too rigid to compare. 

“God, bet you do, never enough for your greedy little pussy is it? Just want more and more.” Chan mused, the sound of his belt clattering drawing your attention to his lower half. You watched eagerly, excitement growing with every push of his hands. He pulled his cock out hurriedly, leg still propped over his shoulder as he fisted the base of his cock. 

You whined at the sight, free hand clawing at his half-clothed chest before gripping the meat of his upper arm. You hoped, pointlessly so, that the feeling of his toned muscle beneath your hold would ground you, keeping you steady as you worked yourself with the toy. The sight of him jerking desperately at his leaking cock, though, was far too compelling. Moans fell from his mouth, curse words interjecting every sinful noise. 

You’d thought his pointed gaze was enough to hypnotise you, but the image of his stiff member as it oozed pre cum transfixed you in an entirely new way. You couldn’t look away, couldn’t tear your eyes from his thrusting hips and eager fist as it worked its way up and down his length. You were sure you’d not seen a cock quite as pretty as his, either. It wasn’t overly large but it was thick and veiny with an angry red tip that you knew would prod your cunt in all the right ways. You wanted it, you wanted him so bad. You were salivating at the thought, mouth gaping wide open at the prospect of it.

“Bet you’d fuck me dry, so desperate you’d milk my cock of every drop.” He groaned loudly, hips bucking into his first with an air of impatience. 

“Yeah, want that so bad sir.” You could feel your high approaching once more, the edge coming into view in new and improved shades of technicolour bliss. 

“That’s it, good girl, you’re doing so well.” He praised you, head lulling back as he hissed, teeth clenching, face scrunching; the hottest fucking thing you’ve ever seen. His adams apple bobbed, thick neck glistening with sweat as he squirmed, face falling to rest against your leg. 

“Cum on me, in my mouth.” You pleaded, trying to match the rhythm of his thrusts, imagination fixing on the idea of it being him fucking you like this.

“Fuck that’s so hot, you’re so fucking hot.” He instantly complied with your wishes, hand abandoning his cock momentarily in favour of getting to his feet. He gently lowered the leg once propped atop his shoulder as he did so, discarding his trousers and underwear properly when he was stood. He was frantic in his motions, wanting nothing more than to dump his load on your pretty face. 

Hovering over you, he watched as you eagerly opened your mouth, head angled to allow him to aim the tip of his length toward your lips. He hummed at the sight, face scrunching again as he began to fist at his cock. The wet sound of his cum streaking the length of his member had you keening, tongue darting out to lick at his tip desperately. He bucked his hips at the new sensation, shoving his cock closer to your mouth in the process. You kept lapping at his head, enjoying the salty taste of his cum as it hit your tongue–the bitter flavour pulling pornographic moans from your throat.

“Oh god that feels amazing. Yeah, keep doing that baby.” He too moaned, pumping his cock relentlessly while you leaned closer to him, sucking the head of his twitching member feverishly. “Such a good girl, yeah, your lips look so pretty around my cock baby.” 

“More.” You begged, the initial taste of his salty cum enough to have you craving more. You wanted all of it, wanted to feel his mushroom tip abuse the back of your throat, wanted to choke on his fat cock until breath became a necessity. You were positive you’d see the white, orgasmic light then, when you were deprived of all air, forced to take in every inch of him until he was done using you for his own pleasure. 

“No, don’t be greedy. Take what I give you and say thank you like a good slut.” He landed a slap against your cheek, not hard enough to hurt, just enough to sting and fuck it felt incredible.

“Mmm, thank you sir.” You whined, complying instantly, pussy clenching around the toy still thrusting in and out of your numb cunt. Your arms were in a similar position, movements growing sloppy and slow as you tried to chase your high through till the end. 

“Good, now you gonna cum for me?” He asked, fucking his fist with the same fierce pace he’d gifted you. “Yeah, fuck you’re so hot.” He moaned, watching you struggle to pleasure yourself, movements ragged and desperate as you became unable to control your limbs. 

“So close, so so so– please.” You cried out, riding the toy with one final push of determined energy.

“That’s it, keep fucking yourself. You’re so close, baby don’t give up now.” He moaned out, his own high building with every snap of your hips, the noises your mouth and pussy were making so sinful it had his eyes rolling back. He resisted though, keeping his well-trained eyes on your abused cunt. You were struggling, he could tell, something in you not quite snapping the way you clearly wanted it to. It wasn’t your fault, he’d tired you out by now; he blamed himself for that. 

“Come on, you can do better than that. Like this baby.” He abandoned his own pleasure again, hand leaving his cock to replace yours. His pace was exactly what you needed, your body convulsing the moment he replaced your sloppy grip. 

“Oh god, yes, please keep going.” You cried, almost scared he’d deny you again. 

“Yeah? You gonna cum? Look at the mess you’re making pretty girl, fuck, I bet it tastes delicious.” He growled, pushing the toy as deep as your puffy cunt would allow, angle directed toward the extra-sensitive spot you seemed to love so much. “You’re taking it so well, such a good little slut.” 

“I’m gonna cum.” You wailed, hand gripping his, half-reacting to the sudden feeling of overstimulation that washed over you, the part of the vibrator pressed against your clit sending you into spasms with every hard thrust.

“That’s right, come on baby, good girls cum– you’re my good girl aren’t you? Gonna cum like sir told you to?” He growled, the possessive tone that had overtaken him sending shockwaves across your limbs. 

“Yeah, yeah fuck! I’m-” You didn’t have time to respond to his pleas before you were thrown from the edge, same white light blinding you in the process. You lost all feeling, all consciousness as you came, the explosions errupting throughout your spent body going unnoticed by your fucked out mind. Your chest heaved as you started to come to, hand still clamped around his now motionless wrist as his voice broke through your heavy breathing. 

“Shit, you squirted everywhere baby. Fuck that’s so hot.” You whimpered, scrambling to sit up in embarrassment. You looked at the chair first, the leather slick with your release, but it wasn’t until you gazed at Chan that you saw the extent of it. His white shirt was dotted with wet spots, looking almost like the splatter of something colourless. His hand and arm were soaked, chest glistening too. 

“Sorry.” You frowned, suddenly embarrassed by the mess you’d made.

“Shh, don’t be sorry, you did so well baby; look at you, so messy, so pretty.” He was quick to assure you, abandoning the vibrator in favour of cupping both your cheeks. You took each other in for a moment, no words spoken between you as your eyes lowered to his lips. One of his hands moved toward your chin, tugging our gaze upward again; not letting you linger with the thought of kissing him. 

“Lemme make you cum.” You spoke after a beat in time. 

“No, no lovely girl, you need to rest a second.” He smiled, pad of thumb caressing your plump bottom lip before he shifted, seemingly ready to clean you up and send you on your way. You weren’t ready for the moment to end, though. Couldn’t bear the thought of not getting to see him like this again for another month, or, god forbid, longer. 

“Then use me to finish.” You reached for him, grabbing ahold of his wrist before his back could straighten, reaching his full height. 

“Baby, fuck.” He moaned, clearly battling with the idea of you crossing yet another of his lines. He couldn’t blame you, not wholly anyway, he let you do it easily every time. Deep down he knew they were nothing but silly justifications; a safety net to fall back on when he broke every rule in the book.

“I want you to.” You assured him.

“This is supposed to be about you.” He shook his head.

“Then do it for me, use my mouth.” Your persistence seemed to be enough for him, still-hard cock twitching excitedly at the prospect. 

“Get on your knees.” His eyes darkened, turning to face you properly as he watched you position yourself on the floor, obedient as ever. “That’s it, good girl.” He swallowed thickly, guiding you toward his painfully hard length. He tapped your outstretched tongue with the tip, wordlessly ordering you to open wide.

“Tastes so good sir.” You mewled as he slid the base of his cock along your tongue, moaning at the texture of your muscle against his veiny member. His patience, or whatever was left of it, was slipping away with every messy lick of your tongue, his hand shifting to grip your hair.

“Squeeze my thigh if it's too much, okay?” Your nod was enough to have him pushing his length past your parted lips, cock giving you no time to adjust as he pushed his hips forward. “Such an obedient little slut, aren’t you? Touch your clit for me, want you cumming with my cock shoved down your throat.” He growled, pushing his length as far down your throat as your tight mouth would allow.

“Oh fuck yeah, yeah, yeah that’s so– ohmygod you feel amazing.” You moaned the moment he afforded you a few seconds to breathe. Your fingers toyed with your clit just as he’d requested, but you were far too focused on swallowing his member to focus on the tingling feeling between your thighs. 

“Bet your pussy feels better though, doesn’t it baby? Filled all the way up with my fat cock.” He grunted, grip in your hair tightening as he thrust his length past your lips harshly. You squealed at this, sound muffled by the back and forth of his cock as he used your throat to chase his own release. It was hard to focus his gaze as he pushed his cock all the way to the base, your nose pressing against his toned flesh as you gagged, tears spilling down your cheeks.

“Are you crying? Yeah? Sir giving it to you too rough? This is what greedy girls get–a throat full of cock.” He growled, any hints of his prior softness dissipated with the tightening of your throat around his sensitive length. He started setting a pace, no longer mindlessly pushing you down his cock. Rather he pulled out of your swollen mouth, giving you a few seconds to breathe before he thrust in, repeating that motion again and again with a frenzied persistence. If he had any doubts about your feelings on the matter, your soaked cunt gave it all away. 

“God your pussy is drenched, sounds so good. Does it feel good, baby? Getting mouth fucked while you play with your little cunt for me?” He moaned, fucking your face with a new found fever, his approaching high numbing his senses until all that remained was the sound of your wet pussy clenching around nothing and the feeling of your tight throat seathing his desperate cock. In all of the blissful chaos though, the man couldn’t help but take pity on you; the tears streaming down your cheeks, drool coating your chin, was enough to have him pulling out. You instantly gasped for air, forehead falling against his thigh as you caught your breath.

“Sit up baby, spread your legs. Gonna paint your pussy with my cum–gonna make it mine.” He instructed, helping you back atop the chair when you looked at him with pleading eyes. Your chest still rose and fell, gaze glossy with fresh tears as you whimpered, barely able to register the possessive way he wanted to claim you beneath your heavy fatigue. 

“You gonna cum for me too, yeah? gonna fuck my cum inside you with my fingers while you play with your clit.” He was back to those sinful rambles, an apparent sign of his impending orgasm as he worked his cock, hovering above your spread legs while he watched you circle your clit violently. “Good girl, good girl, fuck.” 

“Yeah fuck, mine, my good girl, looking so pretty for me.” His pace picked up, abs tensing with every twitch of his cock. His tip leaked with presumptive release, small bouts of thick cum running down the head, aided in its journey by the drying slick of your spit. “So useless without me aren’t you baby? Can’t do anything without me, need me so badly.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh god.” His words had you quickly barreling toward the edge again, consciousness slipping as you fell in and out of subspace. 

“Say you’re mine.” He growled, face contorted in the hottest expression you’d ever seen. He looked determined, the first that fucked his cock thrusting at such a frenzied pace you wondered if it was painful.  “Mmm” Was all you could manage, before a harsh slap to your cunt was enough to jolt you away from the fucked-out state you found yourself in. 

‘Say it, slut.” He insisted.

“I’m yours, all yours; only yours. No one else can make me feel like this, not even me, this pussy belongs to you.” Your words were all it took, his entire body shifting, twitching and shaking at the sudden onset of his climax. His knees almost buckled, the half-awkward position causing his muscles to burn and tense as he milked his cock of its stringy cum. Moan after moan fell from his lips as he watched it splatter against your lower half, your hungry cunt clenching as the warm liquid painted your clit and abdomen. 

Lowering to his knees again, he kept his promise, pulling your hand away from your puffy clit in favour of collecting up all the cum that settled on your skin, sticky substance coating two of his digits as he shoved it inside your overworked pussy. “Cum for me, come on. Don’t make me spank you again.” 

You moaned out, shrill noise almost awakening his cock once again as he drilled your cunt with his fingers, pushing his cum as far into you as your swollen walls would allow. “Good girl, that’s a good girl; such a good little cum slut.” He cooed as you lost all control, body seizing beneath the weight of another orgasm; the wave of ecstasy so sudden and unexpected it stole the air from your lungs, the noise from your voice.

Chan rode you through your high, pressing kisses to every inch of your inner thigh, fingers slowing to a halt inside you. Sweet praises filled the air as he pulled his digits from your defeated cunt, palms rubbing soothing patterns against your skin. He kept this up until the ability to move seemed to finally return to your aching limbs, your body shifting to sit upright. Your breathing was laboured as his eyes leveled with yours, searching for any signs of pain or discomfort.

“Are you okay?” He asked, fingers back to tracing your skin affectionately; an action that felt just a little too sweet considering the events that had just transpired. You nodded, still not quite able to form words as you moved forward, pulling him into your embrace, desperate to lean on him for support. He let you, of course he did, arms wrapping around your fatigued body as he pulled you against him. Your head fell to the crook of his neck when you lowered from the chair, awkwardly positioned atop his kneeling form until he shifted to accommodate you.

For a moment you stayed like this, the sounds of your breathing the only thing breaking through the heavy silence. It gave you both time to think, to come down from your post-orgasm bliss and retrace the events of your appointment. 

“Fuck, what are we doing.” Chan was the first one to speak, a heavy sigh pulled from his downturned lips. 

“I don’t know but I don’t want it to stop.” You whispered, neither of you making any attempt to put distance between you. 

“We have to.” His response was instant but insincere, there was no denying that now. Not even your anxiety could trick you into believing that Chan didn't want this.

“But do you want to?” You asked, making the first move as you pulled back to look him in the eyes. Maybe his mouth lied, but his gaze never could. 

“...No. do you?” He said after a beat in time, large gaze studying you just as you did him. His palms moved to grip at your bare waist, a single hand shifting to run up and down your right side, tracing the curve of your hips as he waited expectantly. 

You smiled, the fireworks that erupted behind every one of his caresses giving you the answer you'd been looking for: “Never.” 

“Never?” Chan stared at you dubiously, hand stilling at this. 

“Never.” You didn’t hesitate, head shaking. A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, eyes flicking from feature to feature in search of any insincerity. He found none, only a flourishing of adoration that threatened to grow tucked behind your gaze. 

He decided to believe you. You decided to believe it too–hoped so badly for it to be true–wanted so badly to have finally found the cure. Needed so badly for him to be the cure.

<< back to dash // next episode >>

taglist @mangojellyyy • @diekleinesuesse • @bahablastplz • @jeonginnieswifey • @skzittomebabyuhhuhx3 • @yaorzu-blog • @skzreader25 • @sseungmongi • @swaggylili • @geni-627 • @fun-fanfics • @channiesluvrclub • @iambangchanswife • @bluesungology

A/N: jfc i nearly didn't finish this in time oopsies! semi-unedited again so apologies for any sloppy writing in places. thank you all for 200 followers!! next chapter is due for release at the 350 milestone <3

[wondergotham]

From Shadows to Sunshine

Request: “Joaquin x reader idea if you’re interested 🫣: he and the reader are friends who sort of playfully flirt with each other but neither of them thinks the other would actually want to a real relationship (silly dummies 🥺) until Joaquin wakes up in the hospital post-Indian Ocean to find the reader in the guest chair like clearly disheveled and sleep deprived because they’ve been so worried about him and have refused to leave his side”

+

“Hii! I’d like to request were joaquin had a pretty bad argument with the reader then make up to her (angst/fluff)”

Pairing: Joaquin Torres x Reader

Warning: Mentions of death

GIF Creds: @ ex0rin

“Joaquin stand down! Sam’s got it, let’s GO!” You yelled as you flew through the sky next to Sam.

If there was one thing the many years of being an Avenger taught you it was to never question an order or it could jeopardize the mission.

But Joaquin clearly didn’t know this.

You contemplated telling him before the three of you left but since he was a Lieutenant you thought he knew this already.

Clearly you were wrong.

“BACK OFF” Sam ordered.

“I GOT IT.”

Joaquin shot the missile.

The explosion was too close, he was hit. You saw the flames erupt into the air and the force violently threw him back. His body rapidly descended towards the ocean at an alarming rate.

“JOAQUIN” Sam yelled.

“NOOO” You screamed.

You snapped out of the trance you were in, now was not the time to be emotional. You and Sam needed to finish this and save the others.

“I’ve got him Sam you go save the last pilot.” You stated as you rapidly flew down towards Joaquin.

You managed to catch him moments before he hit the water and flew him back to the ship quickly.

Medical personnel were waiting for you both already. You placed Joaquin’s body on the stretcher and followed closely behind them.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

A couple of days passed. Joaquin still hadn’t woken up. You were always at the hospital, waiting.

The only times you left were to go to the bathroom, take a shower or get something to eat. Other than that you were glued to his side.

Maybe Sam was right? Maybe it was time for you to confess your feelings.

But you still were hesitant. What if it was too good to be true.

Your heart aches as you notice the burns on the right side of Joaquin’s neck. But even with them he still looked handsome as ever.

“Have you seen the way he looks at you? That boy likes you Y/n just as much as you like him, maybe even more.” You recalled Sam telling you a few days ago.

You remembered the conversation you had with Joaquin prior to the mission. It was playful and flirty like the other million interactions you had before.

After changing into your suit you stepped out adding some weapons on your belt. As you adjusted the holster on your thigh you looked up to see Joaquin staring at you.

You giggled as he looked away, “Can I help you Lieutenant?”

“Sorry, it’s-you just…you look amazing. You’re gonna make it really difficult for me to focus on this mission.”

You blushed, “Well that makes two of us pretty boy. Green is definitely your color.”

He was about to say something until Sam walked in but you just smirked.

When Joaquin woke up it took a moment for his eyes to adjust to his surroundings. Thankfully there were no bright lights just the warm sun peeking through the window.

“Where am I?” He murmured. His voice hoarse.

He looked down noticing the hospital gown and a pulse monitor on his finger.

Shit, he thought.

What took him most by surprise was when he turned and saw you sleeping in the chair beside him. You had small dark circles under your eyes. Clearly an indication of the lack of rest the situation gave you.

You were asleep with a blanket on your legs covering your matching set. Even in a hospital you dressed great. Your hair spilled over your shoulders, bathed in the gentle sunlight.

You looked so beautiful.

He smiled to himself knowing you cared about him, that you were by his side just waiting for him to wake up.

A wave of warmth washed over him as he remembered the accident that landed him here. He knew he was gonna hear it from you. He could already see the scold and lecture you were going to give him.

But you were still cute when you were upset.

He shifted slightly, careful not to wake you, and took a deep breath. The sight of your peaceful face brought a smile to his lips.

Despite the sterile scent of antiseptic, the room felt like a sanctuary.

Just then, you stirred before slowly opening your eyes. You blinked at Joaquin, momentarily disoriented.

“Joaquin?” You whispered, a sleepy smile breaking across your face.

He chuckled, “Hey sleeping beauty.”

“How long have you been awake?”

“Just a couple of minutes. I couldn’t bring myself to wake you up. I had a gorgeous view in front of me.”

Even when he was injured he still managed to be a flirt.

You shook your head trying to hide your blush, “Your charms won’t work on me right now mister. You’re in trouble. What were you thinking?! When Sam gives us an order we listen to it the first time. You scared the shit out of us. Your heart stopped on that operating table Joaquin. You died!”

He noticed the soft crack in your voice and the tears you were trying to keep at bay. He hated the fact that he had hurt you.

“And do you know what would’ve happened if the doctors hadn’t been able to revive you? Sam would’ve blamed himself and I-I don’t think I could’ve lived with myself knowing that happened.”

Joaquin sighed, “Y/n it’s nobody’s fault but my own. I just wanted to be like Sam. I’ve looked up to him for years. And you too, seeing someone my age fighting with the Avengers for years made me believe I could also do it. I just wanted to prove myself.”

“Baby steps Joaquin. Nothing is given it’s earned. And you earn these things by listening to your team. It’s gonna take time and I know you’re impatient but trust me it’s worth it in the end. You’ve already proven yourself why you do think Sam let you come on these missions? And gave you the wings? He trusts you but you’ve gotta show him he made the right decision, okay?”

Joaquin thought about your words for a moment before nodding, “Yes ma’am. I won’t argue with you on that.”

“Ugh you’re a pain in the ass Torres. What am I going to do with you?” You shake your head slightly laughing.

“Well if I recall you did promise me a date after the mission.” He raised his eyebrows like a little kid. A small but cute smirk spread across his lips.

“I did say that but I meant if the mission went well….clearly it didn’t.” You gestured to the hospital bed.

Joaquin chuckled, “Y/n you’re killing me here. Come on preciosa. Look I don’t want to force you but I really like you. I would love to get to know you better and spend time with you other than when we’re on missions or training.”

This man was perfect. You couldn’t believe guys like him existed.

“Joaquin I really like you too. I was just messing with you, I would love to go on the date with you. But-once you’re better, the baby Falcon needs to heal.” You ran your hand through his hair causing him to smile.

“With you by my side that’s gonna be easy.” He lifted your hand and placed a soft kiss on it. “I can’t believe you stayed.”

“Of course I did.” You said softly, squeezing his hand. “I was worried about you.”

“I’m sorry. I’m going to make it up to you I promise. It’s gonna be the best date you’ve ever had.”

“Ooh I have no doubt about that. But for now focus on getting better, okay? I’ll be right with you.” Joaquin nodded with a smile on his face.

A soft knock came from the door. You both looked up, it was Sam.

“That’s my cue. If you thought my lecture was bad just wait for his.” You smirked.

“What happened to you being right by my side?” He huffed like a little kid pouting.

You chuckled, “Hey protégé’ conversations aren’t included. But don’t worry Sam’s understanding you’ll be okay. I’ll be right outside.”

You leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. As you pulled away Joaquin held your wrist softly.

“Hmm wait I think I need one more doctor, I can feel it healing already.” He teased.

You giggled before leaning down and kissing his cheek again but you let your lips linger a while longer.

“Okay wrap it up lovebirds I gotta talk to this one. But I’m sure you already lectured him didn’t you Y/n?” Sam grinned.

“You know me so well Sam.” You saluted as you walked out of the room causing both men to chuckle.

[tonitheloftwing]

Doing a text rb instead of just tags for formatting. Anyways youth and teen years give VASTLY different answers so I’ll just try to combine them? (Note that this is by no means my favorite game list). Explanations for each will be under the cut.

1: The Legend Of Zelda: Skyward Sword

2: The Legend Of Zelda: Majora’s Mask

3: Stardew Valley

4: The Legend Of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass

5: Animal Jam

Honorable Mention: Glover

Dishonorable mention: Persona 5

Skyward Sword: First Zelda game I was exposed to and was what got me hooked on the series. Ghirahim & Fi were comfort characters for me during a very difficult time of my life. My fursona is a loftwing and internet presence is defined by loftwings

Majora’s Mask: even as a kid I knew there was something special about this game and I realized why as I became a teen. It’s such a unique, touching, heartbreaking story. The themes are so rich and mature. I definitely appreciate this game now as an adult more than I did as a kid, but even as a kid it was my favorite LoZ game because I like side quests lol

Stardew Valley: Got into this game when I was older than all the rest of these. Started a SDV tumblr blog when I was 14 and ran in actively until I was about 16 and got a shit ton of traction! Most of the people I follow on here ARE sdv blogs, or at least they used to be. It was also the first fandom I did writing requests for, and the first fandom who I published fics on ao3 for. I also met an ex-boyfriend in this fandom and we were together for over a year before we broke up.

Phantom Hourglass: Literally just for Linebeck. Major comfort character for me, I selfship with him but as a kid he was like a parent to me. Which sounds ridiculous but look when you’re traumatized you don’t have much of a choice lmao

Animal Jam: Was a special interest of mine between ages like 8-11? I forget exactly. But I played a LOT of animal jam, it was the first time I really made friends online, and it was also the first time I got bullied by my irl friends for being too autistic about something 😭 Julian2 was also the first YouTuber I ever watched religiously

Glover: This game is important to me because it’s a special interest of my brother’s. I actually don’t like this game at all, it’s way too hard and I suck at it. But it’s always been something I can use to connect to him!

Persona 5: Yeah this is a DISHONORABLE mention for a reason. I won’t traumadump but tldr a Joker/Ren Amamiya cosplayer did some pretty terrible things to me and now I have PTSD from that and looking at the characters from this game triggers a strong negative emotional response in me. It sucks that it has to be included at all but it literally shaped my brain chemistry so like

[fleuriion]

✦ Chiming Bell ノ MODERN! High school hcs with the Chrysos Heir because I love them so much ⸝⸝ gn reader ⸝⸝ wc: 1780 ✦ Note ; The usual grammar error and spelling mistakes warning ⸝⸝ if they come across as ooc then I apologize because I'm still not very confident in my ability of writing HSR characters haha ⸝⸝ This can be interpreted as both romantic and platonic as your liking! ⸝⸝ will probably edit out some mistakes ⸝⸝ I'm very sorry for not including Hyacine TT

♡ Phainon ⸝⸝ I feel like he's kind of a jock BUT also not a jock. Like, he's not THOSE jocks that get angry at you if you cannot catch the ball that is beaming at 1000 mph to your face. ⸝⸝ Those popular kids that are actually super nice to everyone. I feel like he doesn't judge people much and if he does dislike someone, will not rub it in their face unless they deserve to. ⸝⸝ Basically just a ray of sunshine. Definitely has Mydei as his seatmate and I just imagine Phainon walking into class greeting everyone every morning and then Mydei is just sitting there massaging his temple, wondering how he's so bright this early. ⸝⸝ While he's generally super nice, I think Phainon is also pretty mischievous though. I can already imagine him getting into some light troubles and then having to sweep the hallway as a punishment LMAO. ⸝⸝ Probably enjoys learning history and literature, he just gets super sleepy and perhaps bored in them. Decent at math but HORRIBLE at science like chemistry. Phainon comes up to Mydei as lab partner and Mydei prays the two of them don't get involved in any sorts of explosion or chemical accident /j ⸝⸝ When Phainon is pinning on you, he will 100% turn into a golden retriever. Follows you around in a non-creepy way, helps you carry stuff, probably tries tutoring you the best he could, sometimes ask to have lunch together and then drags you to the rest of his friends. ⸝⸝ Gets super shy about it and it didn't escape his friends. Also gets not bullied but teased a lot for it, when you walked past them far enough, I feel like most likely Mydei would go "holy shit is that Phainon's lover walking past by just now?!" ⸝⸝ When he announced that the two of you are dating to his friends, they would hold their pearl necklace and pretend like they're shocked (except it's so purposefully exaggerated it's hilarious wow Phainon you're so slick!) ♡ Aglaea ⸝⸝ I hc'd that the Chrysos Heir is basically akin to the Student Council in the modern world, so expect no less that Aglaea is definitely the president or at the VERY least the vice president. ⸝⸝ That one strict classmate who always looks her best and behaves the best too. Probably a class president or rep too?? Would reprimand her classmates or the other students to mind both their attire and attitude. ⸝⸝ Teacher's pet, except she's one that you can't really walk over or trample. Girl just has that aura in her for not only being smart but also beautiful?!?! (My GOAT Aglaea as always) ⸝⸝ Looks scary at first glance, but if you need her help with studying she would help say no more! That one meme that goes like "would you let me copy your homework?" "no, but I'll help you with it" ⸝⸝ This may sound pretty personal and specific but hc that she excels and enjoys public speaking. Her words and articulations are probably amazing if you get what I mean... ⸝⸝ Honestly, if she is pinning on you? Nobody would pretty much find out about it unless she personally said so. I'm sorry but Aglaea strikes off to me as the type to be super good at hiding aka slick with her feelings for someone. (Ironically for being the bearer of Mnestia's coreflame in lore lol) ⸝⸝ So when she told her friends that you two are dating, their surprise is actually real and pure. ⸝⸝ It's still noticeable though subtle tho! Aglaea will be extra mindful of you and will no doubt worry about your grades and your performance. Would help you study even if it takes time say less! ♡ Mydei

⸝⸝ Similarly to Phainon, seems like a jock but isn't too much of a jock once you get to know about him. I think it's pretty much just a first impression since he's physically well built and healthy. For someone with his looks, Mydei is a pretty quiet and calm seatmate, ones targeted by people who is just full on comical nonsense (Trailblazer for instance…. They're so stupid I love them).

⸝⸝ Seemingly messy appearance (that slightly loose collar and messily tied tie fix that rn Mydei i hate hastily tied tie and sometimes spends 5 minutes redoing it if I couldn't get it right sobs), but is actually very discipline and a pretty decent student. Also hc that he uses reading glasses.

⸝⸝ Bluddy is probably the first to arrive at class and is usually pretty punctual with a few exceptions being made. Definitely that one friend who sleeps early and wakes up early. Probably lets you copy his homework just so you can get off his ass.

⸝⸝ Excels at history, terrible at math, probably decent at chemistry??? Hear me out though, he's terrible at math and physics but he's interested in them so it's kind of a party pooper LAMFAO (self projecting). Mydei doesn't hate it, he probably just doesn't understand it.

⸝⸝ Those type of guys that people are scared of because of his appearance, but is actually good with juniors. He helps them with studying and getting the subject's concept wrapped around their head and somehow patient for a man that doesn't look like he has patience at all.

⸝⸝ When Mydei pins on you, he won't look nor act THAT much different around you. If you're a much more comical or hilarious kind of person, he endures and tolerates you more. He will offer more lending hands though; for instance, explaining things you don't understand more, willingly tutors you, sneaks gifts into your desk or locker and then softly denies it when questioned (you're not slick bro.)

⸝⸝ Mydei doesn't announce it if you two are dating, rather, his friends found out on their own by the slight flush on his face when he's around you and the way his fierce eyes seemed to simmer down a little when you're around.

♡ Castorice

⸝⸝ SUPER quiet and probably finds it hard to communicate all the time. The reason people know her is mostly because she's apart of the Student Council, but that aside, she's also super kind and nice!

⸝⸝ Hangs around Aglaea a lot and acts as her 'assistant' or similar. Also a teacher's pet except on the more mellow side and one that even the meanest of the mean doesn't have the heart to mock.

⸝⸝ She probably could be vice president.. But that's just a rough gut and because I see her as one. Also reprimands her classmates and other students to be mindful of their attire and attitude.

⸝⸝ Generally good at any subjects given, but I hc that Castorice really likes art and music classes. The atmosphere is quieter and much more peaceful that even her mind could rest a little. Definitely joins clubs like sewing club.

⸝⸝ Sometimes sleeps on recess because I see her as those super-tired looking type of people who can doze off while standing but refrains on doing so in classes. Due to this, probably picks the seat closer to the window to hide away from the lights at the center of the class.

⸝⸝ When Castorice pins on you, she will subtly get super shy around you. Sometimes stutters on her speech and is extra polite at you much to the awkwardness. Be prepared for cuteness overload!!

⸝⸝ Castorice definitely makes things for you! A small crochet plush, flower crowns, or some fake flowers that reminds her of you. Surfs into flower language to express her affection to you by making said flowers for you!

⸝⸝ Castorice would reluctantly yet shyly declares her love for you one random evening, and the rest of the Chyrsos Heir is totally NOT spying at you two from behind some bushes. ♡ Anaxa

⸝⸝ This man is canonically a professor according to the in-game lore what else do I need to say??

⸝⸝ That one smart kid who's super snarky and sarcastic. If you think Mydei is pretty sarcastic for someone, then behold Anaxagoras and his sharp yet elegant tongue that totally does not remind me of a certain doctor.

⸝⸝ He definitely no doubt enjoys subjects science related. Chemistry, physics, biology, name it. Yet nobody really dares to approach him and ask him to be their lab partner due to, again, the aura that surrounds him. You feel like you're shrinking per second you stand next to him if you don't know anything about him. Also hc that he enjoys scientific debates.

⸝⸝ He probably goes overseas to attend science olympics like a lot, and obviously comes back with victory by his side. He's probably academic rivals with Aglaea haha. I can just see them competing for the school's 1st place.

⸝⸝ Anaxa gets avoided by plenty people because of his personality, but he doesn't pay any mind nor does he care about it. After all, his only interest currently is knowledge, isn't it..?

⸝⸝ Well that's until you, who doesn't seem to be that much avoidant of him, came along to his life. Anaxa is that one person that goes deep into denial when he has feelings for someone. "NO. WDYM I HAVE FEELINGS FOR THEM. FUCK."

⸝⸝ The rest of the Chrysos Heir found out about this when one random day, Anaxa suddenly came up to Hyacine and started asking her questions related to feelings that are leaning a little bit tooooo much on the romantic side (much to his dismay and denial). Even with his denial, he found himself coming up to the pink haired girl and asking her about this… Very foreign feeling of what she described as "butterflies fluttering in his stomach" and a suspiciously big grin on her face.

⸝⸝ Like Phainon, Anaxa doesn't escape the constant teasing from the Chrysos Heir for this, mainly Aglaea. She will devilishly giggle into her fingertips and make subtle jabs at him when she talks to you; "[name], do you have just any idea how breathtaking you are?" while giving Anaxa looks to which he responded with not only a glare but a suspiciously burning pair of ear tips <3

[rocketbaby]

Heelloooo! I haven't ever really sent out a request of my own to any author so I'm not sure how it works wizhuejss but omgosh I love your writing so so much I cant help but atleast give it a chance yk :p

I was wondering if you could maybe write a bakugo x reader where the reader is an extremely girly girl and kinda like the total opposite of bakugo? Kinda like how his parents relationship is with mitski being all bash and loud and then theres masaru. I dont mind any scenario you have in mind whether its suggestive or not just have fun while you write it if you want to :p, that's all ty!

MHA master list

I hope it meets your expectations<3 I dunno exactly what you meant by extremly girly girl but I wrote what i thought of when you said that :( . Also please keep in mind I don't write for Kats that much so this is ass. I would say these are mostly some head cannons. Please excuse any grammar mistakes

trigger warning - vulgar words/swearing

Katsuki Bakugo x girly reader

Katsuki never thought he'd end up falling for a girl like you. He actually didn't think he'd fall for anyone at all but here we were.

You were such a sweetheart compared to his rough and mean personality. He honestly has no idea why you'd even like in the first place..when you guys had met he didn't like you at all.

Your personality and just you overall were the exact opposite of him which he hated back then. He told himself that if he'd end up dating someone it would be a person similar to him, with a tough personality and strong character..and then he met you.

It didn't take long for you both to fall in love. He started finding you somewhat cute and he cringed at that thought at first. He couldn't lie though, katsuki kinda liked how you dressed. You would mostly only wear cute,fancy outfits, usually containing of white/pink thigh warmers with a pretty little Skirt and a cute top. You'd also wear lots of accessories like bows, jewelery and more.

Most of the times you wear your outfits in warm,cute colors like red white pink yellow and maybe even light blue/baby blue. Well surprisingly, Katsuki caught a liking for it,for your outfits.

Head cannon that this man becomes a lover boy when he meets the right person

You love him and his personality too even though he's sometimes embarrassing you in public. You'd go out with him on dates and he would randomly start a fight with one of the waitress's there because he thought the food wasn't cooked properly.

You being a sweetheart,tried to calm him down and assure him that it's not the waitress's fault. Of course Katsuki didn't really listen,he made a scene there while the whole restaurant was staring and whispering.

Obviously,you tried interfering.

"Not now,babe. I need to have a talk with the dude who cooked this shit right here. It doesn't even look edible"

You didn't know what to do anymore and you could just stand back and look at him being a dumbass. He was so fuckin embarrassing.

"You expect us to eat this bull crap?! Even a seven year old kid could do better than this!"

"I came out here with my girl so we could enjoy a good meal and this is what we get? They should hire me,for fucks sake! I'll do the cooking!"

He has absolutely no shame.

This took you by surprise but you found out Katsuki loves to watch you do your make up. He often compliments you on it, alongside with your outfits. That's one of the main reasons why he loves taking you out, because he adores seeing you get all pretty for him.

"The makeup really fits you,love. And that little shit you put on your lips,that glossy thingy,it makes your lips look so much more kissable"

Another thing that he really loves about you is your voice. God it sounds so sweet and nice,he definitely forces you to whisper or talk to him while he falls asleep.

You just sound so feminine and that attracts him. He never thought he'd be into that.

It was so calming to him because his voice is rough and sounds mean. He's loud and vulgar and you with your voice are exactly the opposite,that's what makes it so special to him.

Also because he is a fuckin dumbass and a rude bitch, people are never being kind to him and they also speak poorly to him and about him, he's not used to anyone talking so sweetly..so when you did,he immediately fell in love even harder.

He'd lay his head on your chest, getting comfortable and he would just tap your forearm to get your attention properly.

"Mmh..I wanna go to sleep..do your thing baby, please"

You giggle, knowing what he wants. You were confused on why he'd find this so pleasing but it's not like you mind.

He falls asleep the next second. He can't stay up late,never. Not when he hears your pretty voice.

[anonymous-dee]

My Top 5 Scum Villain Ships

5.CumPlane

There’s just something so silly about them. I love the way they bicker and banter, and you can’t deny the obvious shitpost potential of them both coming from the real world.

I fucking love the memes where they’re speaking in brainrot to each other and all the other peak lords are like 🤨❓

4. MoShang

They make me so mad fr. I stand with SQH as a child of divorce so yk, I can’t be too upset with him. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THEIR ABANDONMENT TRAUMAS LOVE TO CLASH CONSTANTLY AND IT’S SO DJFJDJF 🍽️ I hate it so much *desperately filling my plate with fics and fan art and headcanons and—*

3. JiuYuan / ScumCum

Another ship w the sillies. One of my favorite dynamics with JiuYuan is Shen Yuan being like “ugh” but then realizing how broken Shen Jiu is and then going “sigh, I can fix him…” and then he DOES fix him and it’s sweet and cute and perfect.

And yk, I think it’s so important for Shen Jiu to experience kindness and gentle touch and actual love, and it’s like YEAH I love the drama of QiJiu and LiuJiu, but with QiJiu it doesn’t hit the same because in order for it to work in a /gen way, Yue Qingyuan has to have his redemption arc and regain Shen Jiu’s broken trust.

I still do ship LiuJiu ans QiJiu, but ScumCum is just more wholesome in my eyes.

With Shen Yuan, there was no original betrayal, he just comes out of the transmigration oven with warm hands and healing vibes. For the most part.

I like that they are both also similar in a hater way too. If you think about it, they’re both 100% capable of going on the BEST RANTS and being a hater and I just KNOW they have the BEST debriefs after seeing the others do questionable things in public. Yk, they give each other the 👀 “are u seeing this shit” look knowing fully well they are both gonna have a 2 hour mutual ted talk about the absolute audacity.

You also gotta love the dynamic of Tsundere (soft) and Tsundere (will kill a bitch). Because on one hand Shen Yuan has to have his gay awakening so he’s in denial for a hot minute. And then you have Shen Jiu who’s ALSO in denial—probably also in the closet bc he has to overcome his mental block of fearing/despising all men before he can become open to the idea of allowing one man.

#not all men #actually yes, all men #just not that one in particular #yeah him, the fucking twink in the back

And then you can easily end up with a dynamic where both of them realize their feelings and it turns into

SJ: god shen yuan is so fucking annoying (wasn’t allowed to kill someone)

NPC: yeah I hate that guy

SJ: what the FUCK did you just fucking say

I love them thanks.

2. BingLiuShen

**CREDIT BOTH OF THESE BEAUTIFUL ART PIECES TO SAIRUSB AND CHECK OUT THEIR PAGE THEIR ART IS AMAZING**

Slot number 2 goes to BingLiuShen. Everyone repeat after me: SHEN QINGQIU HAS TWO HANDS!

I think the most interesting part about any Poly ship is the multitude of dynamics; it’s more than just SQQ x LQG x LBH. It’s also BingQiu. It’s also LiuShen. It’s also…uh, BingLiu(?) for the life of me I cannot remember if that’s their ship name, BUT ANYWAY.

Each of these individual dynamics has its own individual charm that gets explored once you start overlapping them together. You have the base with some delicious seasoning if you will.

Not gonna lie, it was a 100% tag team effort between SairusB and Celardor that initially sold me on BingLiuShen.

I love Luo Binghe being a menace, Shen Qingqiu being ‘:3’, and Liu Qingge being shy and not used to romance at all. Not that any of them really are, but I love how many ways you can play around with this specific concept, which I will elaborate on more in the next part of the post.

(Anyone who knows me, you know who I’m putting in the number 1 slot)

Everyone please read Sharing is Caring / Love in Another Shape by Celardor on ao3 that fic literaly altered by brain chemistry and it’s so fucking good please believe me PLEASE

1. LiuShen

**CREDIT THIS BEAUTIFUL ARTWORK TO VELINXI, THE ARTIST FOR THE ENGLISH VERSION OF SVSSS**

My beloveds. My silly little guys. My pretty scrimblos. My mipys. Ft. the art that got me to See The Vision™️ for the first time.

Love that we get LiuShen art in the official artstyle btw, I will never shut up about it bc Velinxi’s art is so gorgeous and I cherish everything she draws so so so dearly.

LiuShen is so special to me. I’ve talked about it several times before on my blog but I just love their dynamic so much. Somehow despite both being tsunderes (well, idk if I count SQQ as a FULL tsundere, but still) they end up being so soft with one another it’s so fucking wholesome.

As much as I do enjoy BingQiu, I say as it did not make the top 5 list LMFAO I absolutely love how many ways there are to write LiuShen. Given that SQQ is ship silly putty already, it really does provide the opportunity for endless fun.

There are fics where both of them are self aware of how they feel, there are fics where neither of them are. There are fics where one of them realzies they like the other and have no shame about it. And BOTH are equally as entertaining. I love ‘:3 Liu shidi is pretty I wanna touch him’ fics just as much as I love ‘>:( I’m gonna bring Shen Yuan courting gifts and challenge him to a fight to express my devotion’ ones.

And then you have the fics where one of them is oblivious and accidentally ends up married to the other—I’ve seen it go both ways and it’s perfect every time I swear to god.

Props to Celardor AGAIN because I think they perfectly balance the tsundere and soft vibes between the two. The fic “Sharing is Caring” goes beyond just the silly wife plot it starts out as. It deadass goes from “teehee silly wife plot” to “let’s actually explore the dynamic and the world and the plot beyond just this silly adventure”

Celardor said “I think I see potential here” and both parts of the fic series amount to 254,349 words AND COUNTING BC PART 2 ISN’T DONE YET.

Okay this isn’t a fic review this is a SHIP review so setting Celardor’s fic hesitantly aside, it’s sort of hard for me to explain how much they make me happy but I just love the blushy x blushy dynamic so much LET THEM BE SHY AND SOFT TO EACH OTHER AAAAH

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

What is your favorite SVSSS ship?

[straows]

𝘜𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴. 

Tw: drugs, fighting, messy relationship, injuries, car wreck, break up, death, Gojo crashes out, hurt/no comfort, insecurities. Gojo x retiredSorcerer!reader

𓆝𓆟𓆜𓆞𓆝𓆟𓆜𓆞𓆝𓆟𓆜𓆞𓆝

It had been a long day. A very, very, fucking long day. For the both of you. Gojo had been running around all day fucking up some curses and being ordered around like a dog by the elders, whereas you've been dealing with people.

You'd been retired as a sorcerer for a little bit now, mainly because of a severe hip injury that makes it hard for you to be able to do sorcerer things. So you got a job at a bakery to keep yourself busy and also contribute to your and Gojo's bills, while it's not much, it's something.

It was so fucking busy. I mean there was a line around the fucking block just for a god damn muffin.

You'd gotten into a screaming match with your coworker, then some fuckass customers. And your whole day was like that. A 12 hour shift. Spent serving ungrateful assholes.

So you were ready to come home and just decompress. You were hoping to rant and smoke a joint before your boyfriend got home. You never did tell Gojo about it, he always got too concerned for your lungs.

When you finally got home, your boyfriend was already there. He was sat at the kitchen table drinking water and scrolling on his phone.

So with a sigh, you put your keys down, "hey baby, how was your day?" You murmur, looking over at him.

"Great, yours?" Gojo looked up finally, he was pretty tired looking but you had you face in the freezer.

"Let me tell you," and here came the decompressing rant.

You started with how busy it was, followed by all the shitty customers and went into detail.

However, you hadn't noticed how long you'd been talking. You just kinda let your mind lose. But it wasn't until you finally got out of the fridge did Gojo speak up.

"Ok, fuck- stop talking! Can you shut the fuck up? I mean damn! I didn't ask for all that! Just say good and move on!" He yelled, loud enough to have you jump back a little. He glared at you for a long moment before getting up and going to the bedroom.

You just kind of stood there in shock. I mean, what else could you do? Even tho your feelings were hurting like a motherfucker, you opened y'all's bedroom door, "baby? You oka-"

"No! Damn! Get the fuck out! You're not even a sorcerer anymore! All you do is work at some shop! It's not that hard! All you do is bitch and complain. I get it that you wanna be useful but you can't. You fucked up YOUR knee and now you're useless! That's your fucking problem!" He was actually screaming at you. The veins in his forehead were popping out and his face was red and everything.

You just stared at him before stepping into the room and reaching into your panty drawer to pull a box. You just silently walked out of the room, grabbed your car keys and your wallet before leaving the house. And you slammed the door behind you, and I mean you slammed that shit so hard that picture frames fell off the walls and shattered.

You got in your car, and you left.

Gojo looked at where you stood, before his head snapped up when the door slammed. "Y/n-" the sound of glass shattering had him walking into the living room. First he noticed the mess, then the sound of the car skidding out of the drive way.

Groaning, he sat on the couch, hands covering his face. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." He murmured, his hands balling up in his hair.

He felt like a piece of shit. He just screamed the most unacceptable shit to his girlfriend. For just trying to tell him about her day.

The more he thought about it the heavier the guilt felt until his chest was aching. Looking at his phone, he went to Life360, only to see you weren't in the circle anymore. He couldn't see your location.

So he immediately tried to call you. No answer. He tried to text you, it went green. You'd blocked him.

"Shit..." he leaned back in the couch and sighed. His gaze moving towards the broken glass on the floor. He could at least clean up...

And he did just that. It took a little while to clean the floor, then get the pictures in new frames and while he was at it he did the cleaning chores. By the time he was done it was 9pm. You'd left at 7pm. And still weren't home. 

But without your location, and him yawning every five seconds, he just decided to give you space and lay down. The second he laid down he passed the fuck out.

You didn't come home till late. I mean late late. Like around 2am. You'd parked all wonky and shit in the driveway, and wobbled right back up inside. Your eyes were red as fuck, barely open as you opened the door to your porch before closing it. Sitting down on one of rocking chairs, you just stared out at the sky. Your face was red from crying, puffy with tear streaks running down your face.

You were hurting. You didn't know Gojo thought that poorly of you. And to call you useless? Wow. It was already hard enough going from a high grade sorcerer to basically a cripple.

Sighing, you just rested your head on the back of the rocking hair and closed your eyes. The weed already had you sleepy as fuck, so it was easy to just drift off.

Waking up in the morning was rough. You had slept in a bad position, and the metal plate in your help, along with the arthritis had flared up. Groaning, you slowly stood up, your teeth clenching as you didn't put any weight on your bad hip.

Slowly, you walked inside, grunting and grumbling quietly as you hobbled into the living room, then into the bedroom. You expected Gojo to be gone already, or at least not in the house. But no, he was just waking up.

Glaring at him, you scoffed before grabbing a towel and some clothes, and the essentials from the shared bathroom, just to hobble into the guest bathroom. And you made sure to lock that door behind you to.

And that proved to be a good decision, because as you got naked, the white haired fucker himself knocked on the door.

"Pretty? I need to talk to yo-" he tried to open the door but it was locked. Something he was not used to at all. Usually yall would shower together, or at the very least have the door wide open. The door being locked had his throat tightening, he wanted to break the fucking door so he could get to you, especially when you he heard you grunt as you got into the shower.

"Is your hip hurting you?" He asked softly through the door, his heart breaking when he heard you grab the wall with a thud. Yeah. He knew it was probably flaring up. "Let me in so I can help y-"

"I don't need your fucking help! I'm not a goddamn vegetable and I'm not that fucking useless so just fuck the hell off!" You yelled, your voice strained. You'd never snapped at him like that. But of course he'd never screamed at you like he did yesterday either.

Gojo stared at the door, his jaw clenching as he tried the doorknob one more time. "...I'll be waiting in the bedroom when you get done." He mumbled before walking back to the bedroom.

Regardless of what you'd said, you did need help. You couldn't even bend over. And it had you crying out of frustration.

You were the shower for a long time. And when you got out, you only stared at your body. You used to have some insanely strong thighs, but they'd lost the muscle and just looked pudgy and soft. Your toned torso became the same, soft to the touch.

And all while Gojo's words from yesterday repeated in your head over and over again.

The shower was a struggle, sure, but it was harder to get your underwear and shorts on. But when you were done, you finally left the bathroom. Having to use the wall for support.

Going into the bedroom, you ignored Gojo and opened your bedside drawer so you could get some pain killers. Taking three too many, you dry swallowed them.

"Y/n that is way too many! Let me at least get you some water, I mean you know what the doctor sai-" Gojo tried to help you, but you just wouldn't accept it.

"Don't worry about it. It's not your problem." You sent him a sharp glare then hobbled your way back into the living room.

"No- no. Y/n— listen, I was wrong yesterday. I shouldn't have said those things at all, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of it." Gojo tried to reach for you, but you slapped his hands away.

"Then why would you fucking say that to me? Calling me useless? Just because your the worlds strongest or whatever bullshit the elders tell you doesn't mean you get to talk like that!" You snapped at him again, jamming your finger into his just hard enough to make him back up. "And if I was such a burden to you, then why the fuck would you date me?!" You were yelling now.

"No- baby, you're not useless, at all. You're stronger than me- so much so. Please, it had just been a long day yesterday and I just... got overwhelmed." He grabbed your hand and held it in his, his brows furrowed as he pleaded with you.

"I don't give a fuck who you are, Gojo, you will never, EVER, talk to like that." Glaring at him you snatched your hand away from him, "don't fucking touch me." You left him standing there, lips parted and the most pathetic look on his face.

You had been together for a year and a half now, and never had you ever spoken to him like that, and he never to you.

But it seemed like he was just digging a deeper grave for himself. He knew you were angry, upset and hurting but he didn't want to be on the receiving end of your anger and hurt. Even if he was the one that caused it.

Watching you have to hold onto the wall for support, face contorted into pain every time you put weight on your bad leg, his chest got tighter and his heart ached.

The entire day continued on like that. Him trying to talk to you, but you just kept pushing him away. He knew he deserved it, but he was so ready to be done with this argument. 

It wasn't until your stubbornness caused you to slip and fall did he finally put his foot down.

You'd tried to walk to the bathroom, but had slipped on the rug. The air knocked out of you as you forced yourself to sit up. The pain in your hip intensified. You wanted to cut it off.

Forcing yourself to breath, a cry slipped through your lips and Gojo came running.

Gently lifting you up, he moved you over to the couch. His eyes worried and his brows furrowed, "Enough is enough- you can't keep trying to do this on your own. You should have told me your hip was flaring up last night instead of just storming off."

You stared at the ground, before finally speaking up, "let's break up."

"What?" Gojo laughed as if you were joking, before his face turned sour. "I'm sorry, what'd you say? I misheard you." He was hoping he heard you wrong.

"Let's break up." You repeated it, same tone and everything. "Yesterday made me realize how wrong we are for each other. How wrong we've always been."

"No- no. Baby, yesterday was all my fault- i-i had just gotten frustrated and I took it out on you, I'm so sorry. I should have never said those things," Gojo was crouched in front of you now, his eyes desperate as he tried to get you to look him in the eye. "We're perfect for each other, pretty."

"But we're not. My life as a sorcerer is over. I can hardly function. You're hardly ever home, and when you are, you're exhausted. You're not happy with me, hell I don't even think you're attracted to me anymore. When's the last time we've done anything? It's been months." You just stared at him, tears rolling down your face slowly.

Gojo's heart was breaking into a billion pieces with every word you spoke. "No, no no. I'll take time off- I'll- I'll quit! I'll do anything- just don't do this to us! I'm still attracted to you! I am! I've just been really tired!"

"No you're not. I look nothing like I used to. I can't workout anymore, I've lost muscle and now my body is all pudgy and gross- and you still look amazing. I've seen the way your eyes linger on other women, you never had wandering eyes when I was a sorcerer." Your jaw clenched and bottom lips quivering, you looked away from him. "I mean- you even called me useless, and you're right."

"No! I wasn't right! About anything! Baby please- I'm an idiot! I just said shit without thinking!" Gojo was begging at this point. His knuckles white as he held onto the couch cushion.

"We'd never be able to get married, have kids, grow old with each other or even die in battle with one another." You wiped your face, having to take stuttering breaths to keep calm, "By the time we're 40 you'd hate me. I'm literally dead weight."

Gojo's eyes began to tear up and he just shook his head over and over, "no your wrong. We would grow old together and it's ok we can't have kids! I'm ok with that- baby all I want is you."

"You haven't wanted me in a long time Gojo. Hell even the dogs that people get then regret later get more love than you've shown me in months." You lightly pushed him away, "So let's break up. You don't love me anymore- that's why you felt so ok with screaming at me not once but twice. People who love one another don't do that."

"But I do love you! I love you with all my heart! I'll quit being a sorcerer- we can move away from here, I have more than enough money for the both of us to retire to some far away island!" Gojo grabbed your hands in a tight grip, his face pathetic as he cried and begged. He loved you, he honestly did. He'd just... let himself forget what he had.

"I'll come get my stuff in a few days." You murmured before forcing yourself to stand up. You managed to grab your keys and limp your way out the door. Leaving Gojo sitting there on the floor, staring at where you once sat.

He didn't hear from you for a few days. In fact, he didn't hear from you at all. Because two days later, he got a call from the nearby emergency center.

"Hello?" Gojo's voice was rough. He'd been crying and hadn't left the house since you left. He was an absolute mess.

"Hi, is this Mr. Gojo?" A woman's voice on the other line spoke.

"Yes."

"Sir, we've called to inform you that Y/n L/n has been in accident." Her voice was dry, she'd made these calls so many times, the empathy had drained from her.

"What? Is she ok? What happened?!" Immediately he was panicking. He was standing right away and rushed to grab his keys.

"She got in a car accident near Vaughn road. She was rushed to the emergency room and is now in intensive care here at the hospital."

His breath caught in his throat, his mouth went dry and his heart felt like it stopped. "I-in-intensive care?" He murmured.

"Yes sir, they are keeping on one of the ventilators for now. You're her emergency contact."

"I'm on my way." Gojo didn't bother to wait for her answer, he didn't rush to throw on better clothes than grey sweats and a hoodie. He was running out the door.

Breaking several traffic laws, he was finally at the hospital. Rushing in, he was at the counter and demanding to see you in no time. "Where is she?!"

"Who? Did you must calm down." The receptionist stood up, trying to get him to lower his voice.

"Y/b l/n! Where is she?! How is she?!" Gojo watched with wide eyes as the woman got quiet.

Slowly, she grabbed the phone and called a doctor up to the front desk. Where he was then escorted to a private room.

"Are you Gojo Satoru? The patients boyfriend?" The doctor asked.

"Yes yes, now how is she?! I need to see her!" He demanded, slamming his fist down on the table.

The doctor sighed quietly, "Sir, I'm so sorry, we did everything we could but," the doctor took a breath before continuing, "the internal bleeding was severe. She passed during surgery."

Gojo just stared at him. His ears ringing and his heart beat so loud he could hardly hear what he was saying. His whole world was crashing down on him all at once. "She's- she's dead?"

"Yes sir, I'm so sorry for your loss. We did everything we could. I'll give you the room." The doctor glanced at Gojo before leaving the room, closing the door softly behind him.

Gojo just fell back into a chair and held his head in hands. "This isn't real... this isn't real, this isn't FUCKING REAL." He immediately got his phone and began calling her number. Over and over and over again. Tears pouring down his face, his knees bouncing fast enough to cause the carpet to tear.

Slowly, reality began to settle in and he crumbled under its pressure. Sobbing into his hands, he wailed. Crying over and over again "my girl, not my girl" or "no no no".

It was heartbreaking to hear as people passed the room on the outside.

Even weeks after you'd been buried, he couldn't function. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. He couldn't do anything. He was utterly useless, like he'd said to you the last night he had with you.

The words he said to you haunted him. The way you were in pain on your last days because of your hip, because of him.

He didn't even get to hold you. He didn't even get to see your face. They had to have to a closed casket funeral. The wreck you'd gotten into was with a drunk driver, it was a head on collision and your body was mangled.

Everyday, he sat at your grave. Crying, talking or just staring at your headstone.

Weeks, months, and years later, Gojo had been rendered useless without you. He was miserable with having you to hold onto at night or to talk to in the mornings. He missed every single thing about you. He missed the way you'd laugh at his shitty jokes, or how you'd scold him if he got drunk or ate too many sweets. He even missed how you'd try to ignore him but cave in when he'd hug you from behind and press sweet kisses from your neck. He missed how you'd look at him with those adoring eyes.

And he regretted how your last days were spent. He regretted how he let you get a job even tho you were in no state to get one. He regretted how he spoke to you, or let you feel insecure. He regretted his wandering eyes and his wishes that you were normal. He regretted everything he never got to do with you, or how little time he had spent with you.

He loved you more than anything. And without you, he was just as useless.

𓆝𓆟𓆜𓆞𓆝𓆟𓆜𓆞𓆝𓆟𓆜𓆞𓆝

Ok guys hope you liked it. Kinda feeling like shit rn so I’m gonna get high asf ok? Ok. Love yall.

[cybershock24601]

Building on my post from last night but I feel like Teia and Illario are so confused by how sexless Rook and Lucanis' relationship is. Not to say those two don't get down and dirty but they put a lot greater weight on emotional intimacy and most of their PDA is downright PG with them holding hands and cuddling and exchanging quick pecks and kisses on the cheek, anything else is kept firmly behind closed doors because they're both pretty reserved.

Now that Lucanis is actually in a relationship, I feel like Teia and Illario are way overly invested in his sex life and keep trying to talk to him about it. For example, Rook and Lucanis go on a date to the Opera House and the next day Teia and Illario are asking how it went, voices laced with innuendo and suggestion and Lucanis just starts talking about what he enjoyed about the opera and what Rook liked about it and Teia and Illario are like, "wait, you actually watched the opera?" and Lucanis goes, "Of course, why else would you go to the opera?" and Teia and Illario are exchanging glances before going "uh, sex?" and Lucanis just gets this look on his face before replying "why would you have sex at the opera??" and Teia and Illario launch into a whole thing about how having exhibitionist semi public sex in the private boxes at the Opera is practically Antivan tradition before kinda switching to swapping stories while Lucanis just has his head in his hands and Spite is perking up because claiming their Rook in a public space like that does sound appealing.

When things with Lucanis don't progress, Teia decides to corner Rook for some Girl Talk (Illario isn't involved in this because no way would Rook ever tell him shit) to try and get some information out of Rook. Teia keeps trying to tease information out of Rook and also tries of offer suggestions and relationship advice. Teia even suggests they try taking a bath together to which Rook says they do that already. Teia feels like the cat that caught the canary before Rook goes more into detail about it and Teia realizes that all they do is just lounge together drinking wine and talking and washing each other's hair. Teia is honestly a little disappointed that she's not going to get any of the juicy details but it does track with what she knows about Lucanis and is learning about Rook.

What Rook doesn't mention to Teia is how she did in fact finger Lucanis open before preceding to fuck him into the bed with the strap that Neve had gifted them (which was honestly mortifying to receive but still received a lot of use in the bedroom) because Lucanis strikes me as vers and enjoys giving as much as receiving and Rook likes to spoil her man and also see him unravel from pleasure until there's not a thought running through that pretty little head of his while Spite takes advantage of Rook's newfound ability to hear him to hiss instructions at her about how best to reduce Lucanis into a mindless puddle of pleasure.

Things continue like this for a while with Teia and Illario absolutely unable to get anything out of either of them. It's a little infuriating to be honest. And baffling because who doesn't have sex? Viago is so done with the two of them and honestly a little confused and concerned about why they're so invested in Lucanis' (and Rook's by extension) sex life. There's also plenty of back and forth about how the demon might play into the situation.

Anyways, by the time Illario and Teia are convinced that the two of them are some sort of abstinent freaks, they (plus Viago because its fun to have him suffer) walk into Lucanis' office only to find him going at it with Rook on the ugly green couch that's now a mainstay in his office (yes it is the one from the lighthouse). Rook's make up is a mess, has a pearl necklace forming on her neck and a bunch of older hickies on her skin too, and is topless with her tits out (and Rook is absolutely not beating the big titty goth gf allegations btw) with her skirts pushed up to her waist with Lucanis's face buried in between her thighs. Lucanis for his part is topless too and covered in lipstick and bite marks (Rook's a bit of a biter) and has the wings out (which raises a whole bunch of questions Teia and Illario are a little afraid to ask about) and when he raises his head from where it's buried, his mouth is covered in smeared black lipstick and his beard is drenched and glistening.

There is complete silence for almost a full minute as everyone just sort of stares at each other but then Teia breaks it as she turns to Illario and says "I told you they were doing it. Pay up Dellamorte!" and Rook has her head in hands completely red faced and making this high pitched keening noise of mortification while Illario starts arguing back thats it not like he said that they never did it while he tries to weasel out of giving Teia money and Lucanis is still blue screening so Spite takes over to hiss "Get out! Don't. Look. At. Our Rook!" and Viago finally gets his ass in gear and drags Teia and Illario out and says something about rescheduling this meeting for tomorrow.

[wizard-of-interesting-failure]

No you know what I'm gonna take a second here. [Highly unhinged rant at the fundamental injustice, inefficiency, and sheer bloody-minded stupidity of current social technology below the cut]

Absolute horse piss. God, even setting aside how she deserved better from everyone around her and had the same right to a fully accepted authentic life as everyone else, imagine what she could have done if she was supported instead of being treated like this. If she wasn't fired from her job, ejected from her support network, and didn't have to constantly advocate for herself and people like her to be treated like human beings (which was brave and good work worthy of being honored but should never have been necessary in the first place, like rescuing people from a building that collapsed because it was built like shit)

Like okay I don't talk about this that often but I'm a kidney transplant recipient and I think a lot about how the field (like every other avenue of human endeavour) has been crippled by short-sighted bigotry. STEM fields are still hugely male-dominated (sidebar STEM is not the be all and end all creatives y'all super valid and important and your work is foundational to the functioning of STEM and human endeavour and quality of life as a whole; this is just the example that highlights the point for me personally) and it's like. If we didn't push literally everyone except cishet white guys well off enough to afford tertiary education away from everything in the area, would I just have an artificial kidney by now? Who knows?? I'm probably never fucking going to because stupid nonsense.

It's the same shit. And don't get me wrong, the individual human tragedy of unnecessary hardships on the part of this (and every) trans woman (and so many other groups besides) is morally horrible and an indictment of culture as a whole. But we'd probably have fucking blade runner robots or quantum computers or working fusion reactors or Actual Cool AI Instead Of The Current Horseshit by this point! Or a real Mars colony instead of some blowhard yammering on about it while he inflicts suffering on untold millions! Or God knows what else!

And don't even get me started on lack of opportunity for almost everybody in the world. It's like that quote about all the potential einsteins who were born and died impoverished without ever even touching a science textbook.

Like you wanna know why we're struggling so much? Population increase is supposed to mean more hands and minds on every problem but it doesn't because...ugh! Imagine if we cared about global poverty. Imagine how many more lives free of hunger. Imagine how many more people thinking about how to solve everything that needs solving.

I just. The morality is bad enough. It's a great evil by itself. But the sheer fucking gall of dressing it up behind progress and hard decisions. Do you have any idea how much "progress" this costs us? What a good investment humanity would be if we pulled our heads out of our asses for two seconds? What you, personally, have lost because the person who would have given it to you lived and died in preventable despair?

Again, I have to emphasise. People are worthy without contributing huge individual achievements to the arc of history. Society is a collective and everything everyone does adds to the weave and adds up to what we as a whole achieve, there's no real separating out of "this person did this thing" when they were supported by the entire collective of humanity past and present, and even if there was achievement is not the sole benchmark by which life is measured. A better life for everyone is the point, and the idea of "if I don't think you're contributing then you don't deserve anything" is a big part of how we got here in the first place.

There is no culling of the "unproductive". They are the ones who need this most of all. Every life matters, every life (yes, even that one) is a roll of the dice for a miracle of insight (not just in STEM; it all fucking matters and it always has), every life is its own purpose, every life is worthy, to save one life is to save all of mankind, to enrich one life is to enrich all of mankind, to be a life that is enriched is to be enriched on behalf of all of mankind, and none of these facts depend upon any others. There's a mind in there! A self-perceiving miracle of reality! Of course it's precious beyond measure regardless of context, you dipshit!

We can celebrate great advances and exceptional performances without ignoring that we, as a whole, made these things possible too. And we can recognise that these things are valuable because of what they do for everyone, and that the more everyone there is the more valuable they are, and that in order for making life better for the worse off to matter the worse off themselves must matter, and that every life is worthy and every soul is sacred and the people using Lynn's technology to help with their disabilities or live hidden from those who wish them harm or resist the forces I'm talking about here are why the technology is a force for good in the first place.

But I weep for the fact that we have squandered almost all human potential across all of history in short-sighted power-seeking and arbitrary outgroup punishments, and everyone everywhere has suffered for it. Yes, even the stupid billionaires; they'd probably live longer if they hadn't stepped on the people who would have discovered the cure for whatever ends up killing them. Today's average well-off human knows riches that would be the envy of the kings of old, and the average human if none of this was a problem would know riches that would be the envy of the oligarchs of today.

Lives being lived in ways that diminish other lives are ideally changed minimally so that they no longer do (this is the maximisation of collective freedom) and consigned to any other fate only with great sorrow. Even if it is right to do so, I do not believe it is ever righteous. Even if it is not regrettable that it was done in the present, it is regrettable that the past produced a present that required it, and a future that does better should ever be sought.

Just...fucking stupid. That we're so willing impoverish ourselves so that some other people we don't like for no reason can be impoverished more. That the only thing keeping us from Star Trek (not just the spaceships but everything else too) is petty fucking spite (and physics but who knows what backdoor bullshit we could find to work around that).

That Lynn Conway's life, extraordinary and laudable as it was, was made smaller by this rank fucking idiocy. I do not aim to diminish her work by considering what it could have been. I aim to diminish the age she was forced to live in.

Rest in peace, Lynn. You deserved unfathomably, infinitely fucking better, and we are all richer for what you managed to pull off in spite of it all.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Random Joaquin hdcs that come to my head

He utilises the puppy dog eyes against you into letting him off from doing some reckless shit that could’ve seriously hurt him. He knows your weakness regarding them and isn’t above using it against you.

You and Joaquin have mandatory sleep overs at each others rooms after a rough mission, just wanting to make sure that you were real, that you were both okay as you spent most of the night poetically pressed against one another in hopes of reassuring yourselves as well as each other that you were both okay.

He hums a little tune from his childhood to himself, it relaxes him and helps him remember the good memories, memories of his family and memories of you looking at him as though he hung the stars in the sky and or hand painted the night sky. The tune he hums provides him comfort as he reminds himself why he has chosen the path he has set himself on and what he wanted to show for it.

He’s protective and watches over you closely when on missions, not that Joaquin doesn’t trust you to keep yourself safe, but the second your injured this man doesn’t hesitate to neutralise the enemy as quick as possible before checking you over for deeper injuries that would cause you issues later on.

He’s not keen on loosing you anytime soon and doesn’t like to tempt the idea as though he might evoke it to become his reality by accident.

Has framed photos scattered across his room, most of his family, friends, Sam and you as he wants his room to be a reflection of whom he holds most dear to him. He’s a sentimental dude who holds everything he’s ever given close to his heart as he keeps them somewhere safe.

Probably talks everyone’s ear off about you well before you were dating and just really good friends, so much so that his family believed you were dating and wanted to meet you effectively immediately, much to Joaquin’s embarrassment as he realised just how much he did talk about you but how could he not when everything you did fascinated him; leaving him wanting to know you more.

So potentially you faked being his partner in a very cliche manner, but his family can easily see through the lie and yet they could tell you genuinely liked each other with every interaction you had with one another, with how close you were to one another or the fact that you were always touching one another in some way no matter what. Needless to say by the time you both had to go back to the compound you were actually dating, much to his family’s satisfaction.

Your teammates were also happy to see you both actually together also, they were sick of the obvious pinning. Neither of you were subtle.

Probably had a plush/figure of him in the falcon suit that he keeps on a shelf that overlooks the room like a watchful spectre. It’s the first plush/figure made of him and naturally he wants to keep it as he fanboys over the fact that he now has plushies/ figures of him.

He’s extremely intuitive and would be able to tell what you were feeling based on your body language and the way subtle ways your face would work against you to tell him what you were experiencing in the moment. So if you express discomfort in a situation, whether it was due to conflict and just having an overall disliking towards crowded and overstimulating environments, then Joaquin was quick to act and take you elsewhere quieter to regain yourself.

Good with kids. Imagine him with kids…Just a thought.

Is probably the type to say ‘you’ve got a crush on me? How embarrassing.’ Just to tease you, only for you to reply with ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, you weren’t exactly hiding how much you like me either pretty boy.’

He shuts up real quick but is quick to try again the next day by being a big goof because he enjoys a playful but committed relationship where you two could be your truest selves, and not feel judged or anything as you both promised to enter the relationship with authenticity and trust towards one another. So you were not only partners but also friends and close confidants that would bear your souls for the other.

Absolute Cuddle bug but loves to rest his head on your chest to listen to your heart, and even has you listening to his heart when he’s cradling you against him. He values listen to the others heart, but enjoyed it even more when your foreheads are pressed to one another as your hand rested atop of his chest where his heart was, still able to feel it beneath your palm.

Tricks you into wearing his clothes/ and or loves trapping you in his hoodies with him as you cuddle in the colder months, he’s smiling that beautiful, goofy, wholehearted smile as he keeps you trapped with him for as long as he wanted; which usually needs in you both falling asleep from how comfortable you had made yourselves.

Makes a heart with his hand and expects you to finish it/ makes a heart with his fingers when he spots you across the room and wanted to be a little cute and gentle.

So if you did it back to him, he’s smiling for the rest of the week as his eyes glimmer brightly with love and affection.

Rubs the back of his head when sheepish and shifts his weight on his feet when feeling a little awkward or out of place and just needed to do something to express the feeling.

[miwiheroes]

Hii, not really a question but I'm rewatching s2 and I noticed a parallel between the "we like steve... but we don't love steve" and Nancy stammering quite a bit to say "I- I do" and Mike having a similar response during his fight with El. I don't really know if you or someone else had already noticed that but felt the need to say it

Dropping Byler Evidence Every (Other) Day Until Season 5

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Day 32: Murray's Conversation w/ Jancy . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .

@j-gvellthings hope u don't mind I hijacked ur ask to use for my post thing i just think this is uber interesting <3

Honestly, that whole conversation with Murray and those scenes could absolutely apply to Byler and Jancy at the same time. In some moments, I feel like what he says could actually apply to Mike more than Nancy.

Jancy say they're "just friends" here ^^ and obviously,,, if you've watched literally any romcom or show with romance in, you'd know that if someone is a little two defensive about the two of them being friends, then the audience is supposed to imply that they could be something more than that -- which happens with Byler in S4, when Mike unnecessarily calls them friends. It's not in the same context obviously, but Mike takes it romantically.

Murray also says that Jonathan and Nancy have 'shared trauma' which is apparently the 'real shit' (meaning the apex of the conversation and the most important thing). Now, this obviously applies to Jancy because they went through a lot and that's what creates this meaningful bond between the two of them. Steve does not understand what Nancy's been through -- Jonathan does. And vice versa i guess.

Byler also have this exact dynamic. Mike was with Will during S2 when all that shit happened - and the subsequent dynamic has shifted so Mike seems like the only one that really understands what Will goes through. They also both go through the same types of bullying, which is shown in S1.

Some examples of their 'shared trauma' dynamic are:

Will says that Mike shouldn't tell anyone else about his True Sight because 'they won't understand' - S2E02

Mike says that Will is quiet today and Lucas brushes it off, but Mike sees it as something deeper - S2E01

Will only tells Mike about D'art and Mike is the one to shout at the others and gets rid of his problem for him - S2E03

At the Snow Ball, Will looks at Mike when a girl asks him out, because he's so used to checking with him for things - S2E09

Mike asks Will if he's okay at the movie theatre because he's so in tune with Will's emotions surrounding scary stuff (they were about to watch a horror movie) - S3E01

I only really named ones in S2 because that's the season where Murray actually says that so I feel like it has more value when it's all in S2

"Trust issues am I right? Something to do with your dad."

Obviously, we all know that Will's had issues with his homophobic father - so has Jonathan, so it can apply to both of them. Most of Will's internalised homophobia can be traced back to bullying which includes his father.

It is shown right from the beginning of the whole show that Lonnie calls Will slurs, and attempts to make him like things that any 'normal' boy should want. Jonathan counteracts this by telling Will that he shouldn't just like things because people tell you to and telling Will that it's much better to be a 'freak' than normal.

This homophobic bullying could arguably lead to trust issues for Will - his internalised homophobia from his dad is what is keeping him from telling Mike the truth. He's afraid that Mike 'won't like the truth' because of the things he's experienced in the past.

Now, the one where Murray calls out Nancy is way more interesting:

"You. You're harder to read."

Nancy is of course, harder to read than Jonathan because she hides so much -- she's harder for the audience to figure out because she's in a relationship already. Even so, I think this applies to Mike even more than Nancy. We have Nancy's POV. We can often see what she's thinking and feelings, but with Mike, we haven't had his POV and private thoughts and inner conflicts since S2. For two whole seasons, there has been barely a moment of introspection for Mike. The audience has constantly questioned what the hell he's thinking and why he's acting this way.

It's simple -- he's supposed to be harder to read.

"Probably, like everyone, afraid of what would happen if you... accepted yourself for who you really are"

HELLO? I think when i rewatched this I was a little confused because the wording of this sentence does not really allude to Nancy's issues alone. She is, of course, afraid of accepting who she really is, but it's hard to see that as her main character arc. She's more afraid of leaving the safety of Steve, but this wording is just so oddly familiar to someone telling someone who's queer to accept themselves.

Literally Mike's arc - he's afraid of what would happen if he accepted himself. If he accepted himself - it would mean he realises he doesn't love El, which means he's failed her and has to break up with her. He might lose her if he accepts himself. Idk, the wording is just tooooo suspicious to just apply to Nancy here.

"retreated back to the safety of... Name?" "Steve"

This is kind of insane UM,,, so Nancy uses Steve as her safety blanket because he's a well-respected, popular person at school and has a lot of money, which is similar to her parents' situation. Being with Jonathan is the less secure option, but it aligns with her true feelings. Which means the audience should want her to be with the person she actually loves rather than someone she doesn't want to lose purely based on safety.

Mike literally does this returning to the safe option thing 3 times in the show...

Mike slowly realises that meeting Will was the best thing he ever did, not meeting El, not helping her etc. This happens over the course of S2, and Mike accepts that El is gone, placing her in the same category as Bob when talking to Max. When El comes back, he's torn between the two, and we can see this dilemma in the Snow Ball scene. Will is off with someone else - Mike is questioning why he's feeling like this and what he should do - so he sacrifices his true feelings for what he feels is the greater good and what he should just do, which is to stay with El.

At the end of S3, Mike realises something and is scared of what this could mean. He realises that he has been trying to change himself too much over the course of the summer and just wants things to go back to the way they were. In S4, he attempts to cover up his feelings and push them down because he's afraid of what would happen of he accepted himself, and pretends to be in a normal, healthy relationship.

During S4, Mike realises that his relationship with El is something that he's insecure about, and often confides in Will about this. He alerts to Will that he should have 'explained himself' to El, rather than telling her I love you, implying that he doesn't want to say that ever. He agrees with Will that the truth could hurt someone he cares about. He's worried that El doesn't need him anymore, and is happy when Will tells him that she'll need him no matter what - but he still has to be encouraged by Will's words to say I love you to her. This is for the greater good - what he thinks will keep her alive and what he thinks she needs.

So again, Mike and El's relationship is built on commitment and safety - being with Will is the least safe option because it would mean having to look inside himself, accepting himself, and possibly losing El, who he still cares about.

"We like Steve." "Yes!" "But we don't love Steve."

This one's pretty self-explanatory and was the original point of the ask above - Nancy has literally in this season told Steve the words 'I love you'. You can say those words even when you don't mean it, the writers aren't that stupid to be worried that the viewers will suddenly go "OH BUT WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE TIME-"

But, obviously, before Nancy went off with Jonathan, the last thing she talked to him about was their argument about her not being able to say I love you to him - in that argument, when asked to tell him, she stumbles and goes "Really?" before they're interrupted. Then she can't say anything. She can't say it because it's not true.

Sound familiar? - while there are many more nuanced aspects to Mileven's scenes in S4, it is arguably similar to the Stancy's plot that Murray is talking about. Nancy 'likes' Steve, but her feelings aren't deeper than that. She cares about him, but that doesn't have to necessarily mean she loves him romantically. In the same sense, Mike blurts out "I care for you" instead of "I love you" during their argument.

Nancy stumbles over her words trying to deny it - which is the same with Mike when he gets confronted about it in S4, leading to him trying to gaslight and become defensive, using words like "ruin" and "ridiculous".

All I'm trying to say here is that the Duffers aren't strangers to writing a plot where a character is repressing their feelings and using a relationship as protection in order to hide who they really are. And the lines are written to be so non-specific that we can't ignore that they can easily apply to Byler as well as Jancy.

[spirkbitch]

i’ve always made my distaste for that relationship clear.

but your response specifically highlights one of the things i dislike the most, not only about the relationship but about Chapels characterization in snw.

i can see that the dynamic is well written enough to be enjoyable for a lot of people. but (attempting to set aside my clear bias for spirk) i can never get past how it disregards existing canon, like spock (seemingly) not knowing her first name in tos, or calling her feelings “illogical fantasies” in tmp, and how it confuses later plot lines, like her long lost fiancé (of course their relationship in snw isn’t the only thing that causes those problems, there is no lack of continuity errors in the star trek universe but i know a lot of people don’t care as much as i do so i won’t go further into it)

they completely changed her personality, made her more ‘girl boss’ for lack of a better term, but with this being a prequel, and her being nothing like that in tos, it kinda makes it seem like someone broke her spirit at some point.

if she’s so cool and badass in snw for then why is she so different in tos. she’s rarely seen in tense situations, usually just taking orders and flirting with Spock. this establishes that she’s hung onto these feelings for years, and throughout tos she always makes her feelings clear, even though he shows no interest and even clear distaste at times, this makes her seem pathetic at best (and kinda creepy imo).

and i don’t think that was the intention in tos, at least i don’t want to see it that way. without previous background given by snw she seems usually calm and kind of snarky at times, she has a crush on Spock that she’s clearly forward about but not in a creepy way. but with the context from snw, them having a previous relationship and her being so much cooler than she is in tos, it makes it seem like one breakup ruined her entire personality and now she’s doomed to a life of creepily pining over a man who doesn’t want her anymore.

that was a really long response i’m sorry i have a lot of feelings on this

star trek used to be about gays in space

now they just make Spock kiss women

[moon-ttokki-x]

Hii! Your 9th member fics are what keeps me going, they're all so good. It's unbelievable!

Would it be okay for me to make a request? Maybe headcanons on how would the members act around a short reader (even shorter than Changbin)? Who would be helpful, who would be annoying? And what if the reader is the type to steal their clothes?

The brainrot is real... I'm not even shorter than Changbin... but I had a dream about it...

once i had a dream where hyunjin shaved my head so 'we could be matching' and i woke up sweating . . . another time i had a dream where jisung and i got into a dating scandal so he picked me up and ran along the beach while JYP was running after us shouting 'break up' sooooo . . . it's a stay thing

skz x short 9th member!reader

pairing: ot8!skz x short 9th member!reader

summary: how skz would act around a short member (who's even shorter than changbin)

genre: crack, idol! au, that's literally it. pure crack. and some fluff. also little shit!maknae line au. but. nothing else. i think.

a/n: divider by @saradika-graphics

skz masterlist

first of all

skz have decided that you are an armrest

so you can just be standing anywhere

and some member will come up to you and just

rest their arm on your head or lean on you

usually it's hyunjin bc he's tall, or minho bc he's a cheeky shit

jeongin did it once and you threatened to bite him

so he never did it again

you let chan and felix do it tho bc they're sweethearts

they don't rest their arms on your head, they do it on ur shoulder which is acceptable

han tried to do it once and he missed

and then fell over

like really badly

anyway

not a single day goes by when you don't have to ask someone to get something down from somewhere for you

perpetual aching in your tippy toes from how much you stand on them

you do try to be helpful, just at a lower level

during dance practices, you're always the one to turn the studio music on or off bc it's closer to the floor

you just bend down and tap the music off

which saves most of the members backache ahem chan

especially felix, who has back issues and isn't supposed to be doing that kind of stuff

sometimes you just turn the music off altogether and disrupt everyone

which results in a defeated lecture from chan and an intense glare from minho

he loves you really

you also spend most of your time thrown over changbin's shoulder

he's overjoyed to have a member who's shorter than him

most of the members usually poke your sides and try to make changbin drop you

they stopped doing that after you accidentally kicked seungmin in the chest

puppy didn't talk to you for two days

you also love stealing their clothes

they're just so comfy !! and they smell good !!

they're also ideal to sleep in bc they're so oversized, so it's like a blanket in itself

you can just pass out anywhere

like a kitten

and you usually get carried back to the dorm like a child

being the shortest also means being the brunt of most of skz's teasing

at this point the boys care more about your height than they do about chan's age

which says something

but they know when to stop, because they know what it's like to be teased about something they can't control

so even though they can be annoying, they also try to make things easy for you

you hang out with jeongin a lot

you two maknaes kind of found each other and as a result, spend a lot of time together

which usually means you passing out at jeongchan's dorm instead of the minsung dorm

did i mention you live with minsung ??

anyway

most of the time you're splayed out in innie's bed

or when he has a late schedule and you're waiting at the dorm for him, chan lets you sleep in his bed

and then forgets that you're in there

so when he actually decides to sleep he gets the scare of his life because you're curled up under the sheets

you def own lots and lots of chunky boots and platforms

you love that sort of stuff, not just because of the height it gives you

also useful to kick people

especially sasaengs

but the maknae line comes in handy for that sooo....

no need tbh

honestly i think any of them would be willing to fight for you

even hyunjin

(even tho hes a stick figure and has the combat strength of a singular wet penne pasta)

in reality, you really do try your best for skz and work as hard as you can

often it's the guys who tell you to take breaks or help you to slow down

bc you're just so go go go all the time

and you don't realise how tired you are until changbin sits you down on the couch

and felix hands you a bowl of something hot to eat

being with them is one of the best things that has ever happened to you

so

no matter how short you are, it doesn't matter

bc you want to be with them as long as possible no matter what the circumstances are !!

<3

a/n: i like the divider hehe

[slutforwoo]

☆5. for fucks sakes☆

previous| masterlist|next

☆ written part below!! ☆

Walking into the library, you scan around looking for the most empty space. Just wanting to be alone after what happened in class. people around you took in the way you slam ur bag onto the round and slouch in the comfortable beanbag in the corner. Pulling out your laptop and chemistry book. Taking your headphones from around your neck and turning them on. Scrolling through your playlist you ended up playing ‘The Summoning by Sleep Token’

You feel the way the tears prick at your eyes. this wasn’t the first time this had happened but this time professor jin just took it too far. god you didn’t wanna cry. it’s such a stupid reason to but with the way everything has been you just couldn’t help it as u start to sob silently into your arms. you recalled what happened in ur head.

“Y/n do you want to not have a future or what?” professor jin stated as he stopped mid lecture to stare at your tattoo on ur arm that was showing due to your sweater riding up.

“I’m sorry sir what?”you stated in confusion as you were just taking notes on the lecture.

“That ridiculous thing on your arm. Your parents must be so disappointed to have a child that would throw away their future like that” he snarled at you eyeing you up and down

“My parents know about my tattoos. They paid for my first one” you said calmly trying to not get upset.

“Well then they’re failures at parenting. Just look at you. I’d disown you if you were my child” he said

and that’s when you lost it. you knew better than to say what u wanted to. which was to tell him he was an egoistic prick who clearly needs to be laid to get the stick out his ass. so you packed your things and simply walked out hearing him snicker as u did.

you shake ur head as you force yourself to read the book, memorizing every word through your blurry gaze. humming along to the song, focusing on what u were reading. reminding yourself to review what you read every couple paragraphs and writing summaries in ur notebook. it was a study trick yunho had taught you that actually worked. getting lost in ur studying, you didn’t hear yunho when he sat next to you

he let his gaze wonder you, seeing how puffy and swollen your eyes were. you were crying? why did the thought of it upset him so much. finally after just a couple more seconds of admiring you, he tapped your shoulder. the sudden touch made you jump and hit his shoulder as a reflex. and when you look up to see it’s him your eyes go huge.

“Oh my god Yunho i’m sorry you just scared the shit out of me”you pant lightning taking your headphones off and turned to face him completely.

“I didn’t realize you were that lost in the book Y/n” he chuckled lightly

“Well I was believe it or not, I could definitely take a pop quiz on thermodynamics believe it or not”you smiled at him

“Have you been using my study tips?” he asked raising an eyebrow at you.

“I actually have, see” you say rolling your eyes, handing him your notebook. he smiles as he sees the color coded paragraphs and titles, along with page cited examples.

“You know maybe you don’t need me. You're definitely smarter then you lead on y/n” he says handing you back your notes

“No I need you or I will not be surviving the rest of this year after exams. I will actually hunt you down if you stop.” You said whisper-yelling at the brunette across from you. “I’ll pay you extra if I need to, you just actually are really good at explaining things to me without getting frustrated. and you don't make me feel stupid when I don't understand.” you state looking him dead in the eye offering a small smile

yunho was a bit stunned by the appreciation you have for him. he feels a heat rise to his cheeks, laughing it off he shakes his head.

“You don’t need to pay me extra y/n, truly you don’t need to pay me at all, i’m just helping a friend”He said before continuing “Now lets study stoichiometry, I over heard prof talking about a quiz on it tomorrow”

you take him in, yea you guys were definitely friends. I mean your friend groups all know each other, so it's obvious right?

“okay okay, lets get this over with”

p☆rnst☆r tag list:

@roxhanah @sunnysidesins @spenceatiny18  @kookieswithjung   @kcharlyy  @bloomyroses  @jiminssluttyminx  @fairy-jojo  @oceanside-view97 @domfikeluva @mountquokka  @frecklypotato

[leffee]

Judging Scout ships cause I want to and I can (dw, I like them all)

Sniperscout: Heavymedic of Scout ships. The defult ship. I do like it, I do see the appeal, and I happily reblog content for them because there's just so much for it and lots of it I enjoy. Having said that it's not my favourite Scout ship at all. I am however a top Sniper enjoyer in sniperscout (not sexually, don't talk to me about this) and it seems most people are too so yay! Their height difference is everything though but it could be better and so,

Heavyscout: aishiaosaop. Now that's the ship for height/size difference enjoyers and yours truly is just that. 10/10, needs more content and shippers in general cause if not I will make shit for it. Also part of my ot3 that is heavymediscout. And for God's sake, if you see them as brothers or anything familial good for you, but don't tell me that here when I very clearly see them romantically. Anyway, this is my favourite Scout ship, and just favourite tf2 ship in general. Heavy calls Scout "leetle Scout" and picks him up and he can carry him around all day and Scout worms himself under Heavy's shirt and hugs his tummy. Grah!

Mediscout: second favourite Scout ship :D. Not many people ship them because they're afraid how sickeningly sweet they would be together (and also cause heavymedic exists) while causing mischief. No, I don't like this ship with Scout being afraid of Medic etc, I do however like them being maniacs together and Scout would be fascinated by Medic's experiments and then they eat organs together <3. They yap together. Also height difference.

Pyroscout: by far the most adorable ship by default and I love them. They'd be so so playful together and Pyro would 100% be so so affectionate with Scout who would be flustered but actually really happy and he would kiss Pyro's mask and Pyro would nuzzle it against Scout's face as kisses and- agh! So good. Scout carries gasoline and then they cause biggest fire in history. Pyro happily listens to Scout's yapping and treats him so so good. If they see Scout's having a bad day or something they bury him under blankets with plushies and pet him like a cat and-

Soldierscout: underrated as all hell (then again you can say that about any Scout ship aside from Sniperscout). Soldier would be kinda rough with Scout cause you know, but if anyone can take it it's Scout indeed, he'd like being thrown around and the chaos and stuff. Scout's adorableness would make even Soldier be soft sometimes and he would initiate soft kisses and cuddles. Ugh, I love them.

Demoscout: they'd be sooo playful together and so comfortable with each other too. Demo would carry Scout around and steal his hat and throw him around. Hell, they're already cuddle buddies (I saw it in a dream) so Demo knows how to treat Scout right. They drink together, of course, and then they are even more playful and affectionate. Good height difference also.

Engiescout: they sit by Engie's dispenser and kiss! They cuddle behind a sentry and cuddle. Scout takes a nap after yapping while Engie works and finds sleeping Scout adorable. Scout helps too with handing him tools and stuff. Scout's happy that he's the taller one in this relationship which causes Engie to smirk and pick him up and Scout dies. And and Engie calls him sugar and darling in that drawl of his and Scout dies again.

This is all basically the same but aaaaaaaaaaaah. I keep saying it, all Scout ships good and cute.

ThE meRcS aRE ScoUt'S faThEr fIgUreS my ass, they're all his lover figures actually

[bitchy-peachy]

What keeps me from forgiving these maga that are "waking" up is the fact they didn't give a flying fuck until their stupid bullshit affected them. That complete show of apathy and selfishness towards people that aren't like them totally pissed me off to the point I wouldn't waste my energy if I saw a redhat in trouble even if they're "waking" up now.

They wouldn't do it on me, a woman of ambiguous features and an accent. They'll most likely call ICE on my ass.

There's something seriously fucking wrong with people so shut off from the suffering literally around them that they only "feel bad" when shit finally hits the fan for them.

We really can't trust people like this. This is just... They're untrustworthy af if they need this to be "good". I see them as literally soulless.

My mother (or birth giver because she was never a "real" mother. In fact she fucking sucked) voted for Trump 3 times. She did it out of selfishness and hatred towards the same people Trump hates. She admitted it. A lot of maga admitted that they voted to hurt us, even if their socalled "loved ones", cos let's save it, maga love no one, would get hurt by this administration.

Mothers of trans kids voted for Trump, immigrants with relatives living here illegally voted for Trump, people in interracial marriages with mixed kids that already get profiled by shitty racists voted for Trump. Trump never hid his true self and they still voted for him.

My mother now cries to my relatives wanting to talk to me cos Trump's policies threaten her social security, her apartment, her VA, her ACA, she's a mixed but extremely antiblack and now she's getting called the nword more freely now cos she was never going to be white no matter how much white nazi ass she kissed.

And she has the exact same pattern as these "waking" maga fucks.

They don't "care" until it affects them. They still hate us and still want to hurt us despite them being "betrayed" by that orange shit pile they voted for.

Trump didn't keep this shit from them. They willingly voted for him cos they thought only the ooooh evil side they hate was gonna get hurt.

My empathy has limits and I ain't going to extend it to people that haven't really changed and none of these fuckers have really changed. They're still selfish and crying over hurting their own stupid asses.

Once I see them weep and put themselves in the line of fire for the people they tried to literally annihilate in this shithole destroyed country, I might believe in their repentance a little.

But until now they're just crying at getting their asses stung. They're only crying for themselves and them getting hurt. Fuck that bullshit.

Their selfish stupid voting is gonna kill more people than covid. Heck, even our health is endangered cos of Trump's dumb pick of RFK that is anti FDA and anti vaccines. Now we've got an explosion of Measles when we shouldn't even be having one due to the Measles vaccines being so good in preventing this.

I fucking hate stupid ass people with too much power. They're a danger to everyone. Every death, every hate crime, every racial and all phobic attacks are entirely on the hands of these ignorant fucks.

I've only seen at least 2 maga being serious in changing and for that they had to see and empathize with the ones they hurt. Like crying for them without them having to go through a Trump "betrayal". It's rare to find these so yes, I will generalize the shitty maga movement until I see an overwhelming wave of actual people that genuinely know they fucked up innocent people and feel ashamed of themselves and will actually fight for the ones they hurt. Unfortunately most of the shit I'm seeing is selfish "bu-but why am I losing everything 😭💔" crap.

I will continue treating selfish ass maga that obviously still want to hurt us like absolute crap. I can't bring myself to be nice to people that want masses of people to get abused and die.

Maga want to hurt strangers they were taught to hate. They don't even personally know anyone of the demographics they hate and yet wish all harm and hardship on them.

Trump voters didn't vote for groceries, they voted with hate in their hearts.

And it takes a long to time to detox from this. I don't think it's impossible but... these people are very not sorry.

If they really want to reach out and genuinely want to learn to not be this way, I can't hold that against them. Anyone is allowed to reach out for help. However people need to realize that we're not obligated to forgive people that hurt us. We also need our own space and community. They can build their own as well.

You can't force or judge those that won't give forgiveness cos I know this isn't about forcing. We're allowed to be pissed. We're gonna suffer the consequences for a long time for their choices. I also don't believe that they all voted without malice. I might call them stupid but they knew what they were doing especially if those that voted for him 3 times.

This is an interesting thing. Looks like testimonies of people who left the MAGA movement- how they got into it and why.

Leaving a cult is really hard, so I really respect the people who are speaking from this place.