#I have so many THOTS about this holy shit

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

IS THERE A VERSION OF JOEL MILLER I WOULDN'T FUCK?

[a case study in how thirsty i am for this man.] [aka fic recommendations]

Unfortunately, in my extensive research on this topic, I have found some pretty damning evidence against my sanity.

dad's best friend!joel miller x fem!reader

Your Summer Dream [masterlist] by @swiftispunk It is a scientific fact that if you place Joel Miller on a beach he becomes 100x hotter. I don't make the rules, I just report them.

Creep it Real! by @swiftispunk I am a puddle. I melted and I'm a shallow pathetic puddle. Cowboy and Angel. I just hnnnnnggggg. I need him to ruin me pls dear god.

*I'm realizing if i include all the DBF!JM i read this will get very long, very quickly, and i think i have revealed enough of myself on this blog to highlight my very obvious daddy issues

**speaking of daddy issues...

stepdad!joel miller x fem!reader

Don't Be Cute, Be Nasty by @cockslutpadalecki i'm pretty sure this was the first stepdad!joel miller anything i read and it awoke something in my soul. it's always fun to reach new levels of my daddy issues and BY GOD was this just 🫠

Bad Girl [part i of many] by @seventeenpins he walks in on her while she's watching stepdaddy porn and good lord it gets filthier and filthier in the best kind of way.

boyfriend's dad!joel miller x fem!reader

Lost in the Dark [masterlist] by @iamasaddie i expected to be a slut reading this but then it made me an emotional slut out of nowhere i am obsessed. there is nothing i love more than being drawn in by my thots only to be hit by an emotional bus out of nowhere.

Thigh's Out AU [masterlist] by @toxicanonymity not only is this a boyfriend's dad AU, but said boyfriend's dad is a hot and slutty. just like i like my dilfs.

father-in-law!joel miller x fem!reader

Pink [masterlist] by @netherfeildren holy fuck. that's all. just holy fuck. this altered my genetic makeup.

Help, I'm Stuck! by @nosesitter spoiler alert: he takes her wedding ring off before dicking her down and I-- 👀 send help.

***i didn't think i had a lot of significant other's father!joel miller in my repertoire, but i had to stop myself again from listing them all on this one otherwise we'd be here all day. shit, i'm learning things about myself 🤡

dark therapist!joel miller x fem!reader

Session 1 by @elvinaa i think this only highlights how badly i need an actual therapist (as does this entire list actually).

sleazy gas station clerk!joel miller x fem!reader

Meet Me in the Back (1) & The Night is Dark Enough ... (2) written by @atticrissfinch It does not bode well for me that this version of Joel Miller made me so fucking feral. In no way, shape, nor form should a sleazy gas station clerk make me feel this way AND YET HERE WE ARE.

tattoo artist!joel miller x fem!reader

Honeyed [masterlist] by @softlyspector This one absolutely hits too close to home for me, but that's probably why I'm so obsessed with it. My touch adverse yet touch starved ass ate this up and left no crumbs😌

chiro!joel miller x fem!reader

Say Yes to Heaven by @pascalisbaby i thought the medical side of my brain would cringe at the doctor/patient dynamic but as it turns out my depravity knows no bounds 🥵

frat dad!joel miller x fem!reader

The Old College Try by @proxima-writes i didn't even know this was something i needed in my life until it came into my life. blessings🙏🏼

ceo!joel miller x fem!reader

Sex on Fire [masterlist] by @macfrog i don't think i need to harp on what that sugar daddy vibes do to me🤤

mafia!joel miller x fem!reader

Divine Dynasty by @cavillscurls Remember when I said putting Joel by a body of water makes him 100x hotter? The same applies to a Mafia AU. I can't explain it. I have no sound reasoning to support my claim other than "he hot tho".

pornstar!joel miller x fem!reader

I Know it When I See it [masterlist] by @bageldaddy 🔥🔥🔥 that is all.

maintenance man!joel miller x fem!reader

Maintenance Man [masterlist] by @gracieispunk toolbelt. say less.

slasher!joel miller x fem!reader

Slasher [masterlist] by @toxicanonymity i thought for sure, FOR SURE, this would be blind, pure, detached smut that i could enjoy with no emotional ties whatsoever. and then all of a sudden i'm feeling things??? he just loves his mom so much😭 mama's boy wants to be happy. JAIL. real jail for murderer joel miller. horny jail for me. and audacity jail for toxic b/c how dare you make me feel things for a serial killer😩

as i said previously, the evidence speaks for itself. i have yet to find a version of joel miller i could not immediately fuck. i'm actually planning (i have a lot of plans and no time smh), to go through all these on my recommendation blog w/play by play commentary so everyone can know just how unhinged i am for this guy.

but now!! you guys have a syllabus for my insanity!!

now, excuse me while i go find a therapist (a real one, not a hot/dark joel miller version of one) (although beggars can't be choosers right?👀)

dividers by @saradika

[alessiasfreckles]

please. share. more. horny thots. about. bf!lessi 🫡

i'm not going to lie i have quite a few horny thoughts about bf!lessi. actually i had so many just writing this that i had to pause for a few minutes just staring at my keyboard trying to decide which to write about

warning: nsfw under the cut

okay so at some point i saw someone mention the idea of lessi with a breeding kink and holy shit. the idea has literally never left my mind since. like, imagine her pushing you into the bed, hand on your stomach to feel the strap inside you, talking about filling you up and wanting to make you pregnant

also!! since i reblogged that post about soft doms. soft dom lessi who isn't necessarily into degrading you but absolutely wants to (consensually) push you just a little too far over the edge, wants to have you crying because of overstimulation, who tells you 'such a good girl for me, you'll take one more orgasm, won't you? you can keep going baby, i know you can'

her hands oh my god. the things i imagine her doing with her hands. one hand wrapped around your throat as she fucks you, maybe punishing you for being bratty, squeezing just tight enough to make you dizzy. the way her hands feel as she holds onto your hips, your waist as she fucks you, holding tight enough to leave the faintest marks, marks that she kisses softly afterwards.

oh my god i have so many more thoughts about this. maybe it's time for me to write some more bf!lessi smut

[petrichor-han]

man i'm just an idea factory all of a sudden anyway i looked at ur url and now i'm thinking about jeonghan jisung threesome it's such a random pairing but pls spare thots if u have any 🤲🏻 the stayrats are starving

PAIRING | jeonghan x afab!reader x han

WC | 2.0k

WARNINGS | explicit language, explicit sexual content (threesome, slight mxm, slight dom/sub dynamics but nothing too serious, making out, oral (m and f receiving), p in v sex, creampie, unprotected sex)

A/N | idk how i never thought about this pairing because my biases :(( but holy shit?? You have opened my mind to so many new possibilities and tbh this just makes me wonder even more how some people can only stan one group when there’s so many hotties and so many fun dynamics there are </33 tysm for this request bae i'm having so much fun writing these aaaa!! (and to anyone else seeing this, my requests are open until july 16 if you want to send in an ask as well.)

REQUEST! | EVENT MASTERLIST

to start off, jeonghan would definitely be the one in charge, the dominant one out of the three of you. we all know he’s a cocky, smug bastard, and that definitely translates to how he acts in this dynamic. he knows that he’s got the upper hand, that the two of you will do whatever he wants—you’re eating out of the palm of his pretty little hand, and he’s loving every second of it.

on the other hand, jisung would be the submissive, whiny baby of the three of you. at first he’d definitely be a little awkward and a little intimidated by having two beautiful people at once, but he’d get used to it very fast. he so badly wants to impress both of you, be good for you, and so he plays jeonghan’s game eagerly, trying to receive praise. when jeonghan just teases him, he turns to you, making himself feel better in your arms—he knows that you can’t resist his charms, his cuteness. 

jeonghan definitely starts off by claiming you, wanting to show jisung that he’s the one in charge and there’s nothing that’ll change that. the way that jeonghan kisses you is passionate, messy—it’s like you’re his first meal in weeks, and he’s intent on devouring every morsel of you before jisung can even have a single bite. his teeth clash against yours and one of his hands moves to the back of your neck to pull you even deeper into the kiss. jisung sits off to the side, trying to ignore his growing erection as he watches the two of you make out. he tries to resist the urge to palm himself over his pants, but his patience dissolves as soon as jeonghan reaches up to tear open your thin blouse, popping a few buttons off of it and making you exclaim in disapproval into the kiss. the mere sight of your bra and cleavage is enough to send jisung into a state of desperation, a whine escaping his lips as he watches jeonghan hog your attention.

upon hearing the whine, jeonghan pulls away from the kiss momentarily, leaving you dazed and with a stupid smile on your face. “what’s wrong, puppy?” he asks jisung, a shit eating smirk spreading across his beautiful face, his evil expression heavily juxtaposing with his delicate, angelic features. “see something you like?” 

humiliated but also extremely turned on, there’s not much else jisung can do besides nod miserably, his cheeks flushing bright red from jeonghan’s taunting. 

“say what you want, use your words,” jeonghan croons, as he leans down to run his hot tongue along your neck, making you moan loudly and cling to him as he runs the wet muscle down your collarbone, to the valley between your breasts. jisung’s breath hitches as he watches jeonghan’s movements, so badly wishing he were there with his face stuffed into your cleavage instead of him. or better yet, if his face were wedged in there alongside jeonghan’s.

“w-wanna kiss them…” jisung murmurs under his breath, his gaze flickering up to meet yours, his blush deepening further at the grin that splays itself across your face upon hearing this. 

you look up to jeonghan, who nods slightly at you, giving you permission. you climb out of his lap and reach out to jisung, pulling him closer to the two of you. he’s so petite, and so cute too—with big dark sparkling eyes that are sparkling in the warm light of the bedroom and round cheeks that you can’t help but pinch teasingly, making him whine and pull away slightly. you know that isn’t what he wants. 

so you give him what he does want—a kiss. your lips mold to his as you kiss him deeply, and after a few moments of stunned stillness, he kisses you back. 

the way that jisung kisses is very different from jeonghan; jisung is almost rushed, so overwhelmed by the excitement that he can’t help but speed things along. his tongue licks along your bottom lip eagerly, and who are you to deny him entry? 

he moans loudly into the kiss, something that jeonghan doesn’t do—not that he’s silent, though, he’s far from it—and reaches down to cup your tits in his hands, his touch gentle and hesitant at first, but over-eager and rough as soon as he realizes you’re giving him permission to continue. 

with a teasing nibble on his lower lip, you momentarily pull away from the kiss to push jisung down onto his back, so that he’s laying flat on the mattress as you hover over him. his eyes widen at your sudden dominance, and you can’t help but give him a cheeky grin before kissing him once more. 

meanwhile, jeonghan has grown impatient of simply sitting back and watching. as you hover over jisung, propped up on all fours, jeonghan slowly snakes his hands up your legs until he reaches the clasp of your skirt, undoing it with ease and sliding it down your legs along with your panties. you gasp, both from your sudden nudity and from the feeling of jeonghan’s ice cold fingertips grazing against your skin.

his cold fingers reach up to spread your pussy lips apart, and he groans lightly as your wetness coats his fingers—it’s exactly what he wants to see. he leans forward to press a sloppy kiss to your cunt, making you moan into the kiss with jisung, who’s very curious about the cause of your moans but enjoying the kiss too much to pull away prematurely just to find out. 

jeonghan starts to lick at your pussy, his hot tongue flattened as he laps at your clit. his tongue darts further up every so often to catch your juices and taste you as his hands grab your ass cheeks to grant himself easier access to your dripping core. the pleasure starts off as low and dull, simply simmering within you, until jeonghan starts to speed up his tongue, pressing harder against your sensitive clit and licking deeper into your tight hole. you cling to jisung, whimpering against his lips as your orgasm overtakes you and jeonghan quickly moves to lap up your release, groaning as he buries his face in your cunt one last time before pulling away and licking his lips. 

jeonghan roughly pulls you back towards him, ending your kiss with jisung. he starts to push down his pants and boxer briefs in one go as he kneels behind you, his gaze flickering between you and jisung. you’re both a sight to see—you, with your wetness dripping down your bare thighs, your pussy on display for him to see, and jisung with his achingly hard, neglected cock and the embarrassing amount of precum that’s leaked from his tip, staining the light material of his gray sweatpants. 

he reaches down to yank on your hair, forcing you to look up at jisung. you’re still on all fours, your limbs starting to shake a little from holding the position for so long. 

jisung’s face is bewildered as jeonghan roughly tugs on your hair, eliciting a moan from between your lips. “suck his cock, baby doll,” he coos at you, letting go of your hair and gently pushing your head back down, in the right direction. “and, you, puppy,” he says sharply, turning his attention to jisung, who jumps as jeonghan speaks to him. “enjoy it,” is all jeonghan says, chuckling darkly as he strokes his own cock a few times before slicking his tip against your soaked entrance. 

he wastes no more time, thrusting into your tight warmth and sheathing his entire length inside you in one go. you can’t help but let out a breathy moan, burying your face in jisung’s crotch and making him whimper in anticipation as you mouth his cock over his pants. the feeling of jeonghan’s cock stretching out your tight cunt, pressing deep inside of you, makes it hard to focus on anything else, at least not fully. you lap at jisung’s cock over his pants half-heartedly, your mind still elsewhere—with jeonghan, as he fucks you like it’s the last time he’ll ever do so. 

however, it’s not good enough for jeonghan, who wants more of a show. he narrows his eyes at the boring sight before him, and he smacks your ass roughly, making you cry out. It’s a clear sign that tells you to do better—to go further, and do more. 

so you do—you quickly pull down jisung’s sweats and boxer briefs, pleasantly surprised at what you’re working with. his cock is pretty; flushed at the tip and profusely leaking precum, with a thick vein running along the underside of it—perfect for you to run your tongue along teasingly. you manage a smug grin despite the rough fucking that jeonghan is giving you, his grip tight on your hips as he pulls your body against his, his cock thrusting deep into your cunt. 

licking along the thick vein on the underside of his cock, you let out a soft moan, looking up at jisung through heavily lidded eyes. This clearly has an effect on him, as the poor boy flushes scarlet once again and reaches down with a shaky hand to gently get a grip on your hair. you take this as an incentive to go deeper, to take him deeper. his cock is heavy on your tongue as it slips further into your mouth, his tip now prodding at the back of your throat and making his eyes roll back in his head. the combined stimulation of your lips wrapped so tightly around his length and the feeling of your tight throat squeezing him so perfectly—it’s no wonder he felt like he was about to cum right there and then, even though you hardly did anything. 

meanwhile, jeonghan is still pounding away into your pussy, his breath escaping him in rough pants and groans as his nails dig into your skin. he bites his lower lip, his teeth digging into the plush skin, trying to stifle the moans as they threaten to grow louder. the feeling of your pussy wrapped around his cock is simply too much for him to take, despite all of the shit he likes to talk about his endurance. 

“gonna cum, gonna fill you up, baby,” he groans loudly, the sound of skin against skin echoing around the bedroom as his thrusts grow sloppier, more erratic. both you and jisung can tell that he’s nearly there, all he needs is one last thing to push him over the edge—

and then jisung is cumming down your throat, his orgasm triggered by the look of pure ecstasy on jeonghan’s face paired with the feeling of his cock lodged deep in your throat as you tongued his tight balls. you can feel the warmth of jeonghan’s load spilling from your pussy, dripping down your thighs as you swallow jisung’s, looking up at the younger man dreamily. he looks back at you with a similar look, the both of you still nearly in disbelief about what just happened. 

the only one that seems to still be sane is jeonghan. he pulls out of you, chuckling with a groan as his cum drips from your swollen pussy. he then looks up at jisung, who’s still panting slightly from his own orgasm, his cock softening against his thigh, but not for long as jeonghan reaches forward to unclip your bra and remove the remains of your torn blouse. 

“are you ready for another round? i’ll let you have their pussy this time, puppy,” he says, his voice light and teasing—and absolutely irresistible to both you and jisung, as you both nod excitedly, moving closer to him.

© petrichor-han 2024, all rights reserved.

[bettyfrommars]

hi loves

a wee announcement/bit of reflection below the cut

nothing heavy, just some thoughts & updates

First of all, I want to say I love this fandom so much. Truly I do. It has carried me though possibly the hardest, loneliest year of my life (and this ol' girl has been though some dark times). I've made friendships here that I hope to cherish for the rest of my life.

I came into fanfiction in October of last year, after not writing anything substantial for almost a decade. My dear friend at the time said she was looking for a specific Eddie Munson story, so I wrote it for her. I wrote it in first person because I didn't even understand how "reader perspective" was a thing, that's how wet behind the ears I was to this world. My friend, on the other hand, is a well-versed fic reader, and I distinctly remember messaging her like, "okay, what the hell is a Y/N??"

I spent that entire dark, cold winter writing and passing it to her in parts like notes in a classroom. The rush of getting back to something I loved so deeply after so much time away turned me into a monster. I lived and breathed that story. We sent endless messages back and forth every day about what each character would do next, imagining ourselves in that world, with Eddie. We made playlists, we cried. We screamed and giggled and kicked our feet when they finally kissed. We mourned the loss when it ended and moped around a bit before going back to read it all over again. Some 40k words and four months later I realized, holy shit, I think I write fanfiction now?

In a way, fanfiction saved my life. It brought me back to a part of myself I had buried, a part of me that worried it might never see the light of day again. It came crawling out of the ground, gasping for air like, "you better stretch your fingers bitch because I have a lot to say."

In April, I started posting here when the fandom was notably beginning to wane, but I was happy to see there were so many still going hard for our man. I kinda creeped in, like a little scuttling crab, and was grateful to find that a handful of you embraced me.

Long story short, I am NOT leaving, not at all. I know the tone is there, but that is not what this is, lmao. I will hopefully keep this blog for as long as you will have me. I plan to finish writing I'm on Fire and Death Becomes Us, as well as maybe another bit for gargoyle!Eddie, and nightmare!Eddie, but the other series I've started (or planned to start) will stay on hiatus for a while, possibly forever. I will continue to post blurbs and hc's and whatnot, but I won't be committing to any new series or long fics.

My masterlists will remain intact for the time being for those who want to enjoy what is there. That being said, The Nightmare Factory and Stop the World and Melt with You, might be taken down in the future only because I plan to re-work them into original stories. I have a second non-fandom blog in the works that is dedicated to monsters, nightmares, and magic realism, and I will let those who are interested know about it when the time comes.

Mostly, I wanted to let you know that, even if you notice some changes, I will continue to persist with "My 2 Joe's" delulu era, possibly until the earth swallows me up. I am no longer taking requests, but my asks will always be open for thots, blurbs, obsessions, etc. You know how much I love hearing from you.

That's all really. Perhaps this is simply one of those "end of year" thought dumps, but I also wanted to say a heartfelt Thank You to those who continue to support me, enjoy my work, and share it. My Ride or Die monsterfuckers and biker Eddie enthusiasts. My nightmare Eddie dreamers, my Twilight Zone Eddie pineapple heads. My gargoyle Eddie romantics who cheer on our Stone Boy, and my Hybrid Steve lovers who leave their windows open at night. My True Blood friends who appreciate a vampire Eddie who is nothing like Bill Compton. My darlings, my fellow rebel rousers and misfits, my friends.

This is a very symbiotic relationship, and I could not/would not do this without you ❤️

[precious-little-scoundrel]

ok yall be honest, of these two couples, who’s kinkier? And I don’t mean who has the more fulfilling sex, that’s to each their own and vanilla is just fine for many. it’s what they need and thrive off. but I got my headcanons and I wanna hear yours

omg girl give us the headcanons

Ok darling(s) I’m all too eager tbh. 😆 and these are just preliminary and maybe not fully canon thots so far.

First off, this ASK from earlier contains more headcanons and screams.

Jack x Tilly Headcanons (mostly 🌶️💋🔞)

warnings: these are smutty headcanons, mention of kids and Catholicism but in a fluffy context, brief breast milk mention, brief and vague SA trauma reference

•Jack is an atrocious snuggler. Actually that is wrong, he is a great one if snuggling is the Olympic sport of the moment, no one snuggles harder than this man. An odd thing to many since he is so reserved and somewhat deterring of affection in the day to day and he’s all elbows and knees. But when it comes to his woman at night or on the couch he is on her like a duck on a junebug, and that’s the order of things! Him on her. He finds a way to wrap around her somehow no matter what and to lay his head on some soft part of her. Tilly loves it as somehow she feels both comforting and kept all at once, it satisfies her energy and impulses both ways. And if he’s not doing it she immediately knows something is quite terrible up in his headspace. This has nothing to do with sex, sometimes it leads to it but often it doesn’t. Which others might find odd for how intense it is. Shhh let them be

•Jack is also a very intense kisser. He can be giggly about it, especially if drunk, but most times he’s very intense to the point of not being everyone’s cup of tea. But tbh, there’s more gentle dominance in his kisses than most men calling themselves daddy out there. His kisses age him -in a very nice way. Tilly melts into a puddle of goo -don’t believe me? Check between her legs. Actually don’t that’s Jack’s job and he’s a jealous fucker

•he’s a jaw cradler, and not from the side, he often cups it from under and it’s unintentionally giving some throat action. Or maybe it is intentional. But he’s not out there choking her (I don’t think unless she asks???) but he is a very intense jaw cradler with those fucking beautiful hands. Sometimes it feels like he’s *taking* his kisses and Tilly goes weak kneed for it. I take no criticism

•he’s a very subtle, gentle braggart about his wife. Not about his Casanova skills, no, but about his wifey. But he’ll say it and most times, it’s so wry or subtle that only five to ten minutes later will his buddies jerk and realize he just dropped some filthy sex anecdotes right there

•these two have sex a lot. they will sneak that shit in. and with all their kids it has to be snuck and often has to be quick and the eye fucking foreplay of these two throughout their day is actually a very intricate and intentional thing so when they snap and disappear for a minute or five, when the kids are riding bikes in the neighborhood and Jack has her agaisnt the fridge or when they’ve finally got themselves to an adult Christmas party where the music is loud and the powder room empty —don’t make the mistake of thinking it was all impulse. It was, but it was brewed for hours if not days before until they snapped and collided.

•with something so rushed and spur of the minute, Johnny often worries his baby is getting her fix. And the idea of her not is awful, the idea of him getting his but she not getting hers is outright anathema to him. Good thing those fingers (and Bucky’s tips, yes thanks Egan you can shush now) and that tongue are wickedly smart. If Benny is a wonder of slow savoring, John Brady is a buzzing brand held right to her until Tilly is coming a mere fifteen seconds after thinking it wasn't to be.

•Tilly is usually the one begging “harder” but Sweet Jesus he delivers. Doesn’t mean it’s not loving but holy shit there are hip bruises and the sound of him smacking off her lush backside is enough to send him dizzy and get them reported for having a pile driver in the living room

•Jack is a munch, as my fellow anons have agreed, and this man likes it best when she is sat on his face. It’s the thighs around his face, the view upwards and the suffocation and the way she’s able to grind down so well when it feels good and tug his hair and he just goes to another world that way. Only time this man de-stresses tbh

•But he’ll go down anywhere. And he’d rather do it before these rushed quickies spoken of above but Tilly loves the pummeling friction first and then a quick few smooches and swipes of his tongue down there and she’s gushing. So he complies, if that’s how his missus wants it, she gets it.

•which is rather a maxim for Brady life, not just sex. But this woman is the one bringing up some wild shit to this man and he rolls with it, happily. Sometimes she’s just already positioned or dressed for it when he comes home or comes back into the room after putting the kids down and he’s gives an absolutely wry and sardonic greeting followed by the noise of his belt jangling loose followed by the most heated kiss you ever did see.

•“You look nice.” he’ll compliment her respectfully when she’s in the most debauched accouterments.

•Can’t wait, gotta have you, be good for me” he’ll say when she’s prim as any other Catholic housewife in her dress still crinkled from kneeling in mass

•the Catholic dichotomy drives Tilly nuts (note, author may be projecting)

•i think this man has a raging praise kink, and Tilly is downright ready to feed it. Has little choice, she says what she thinks and is very vocal in all aspects of life and he makes her go to heaven and back and she is gonna narrate the trip. That’s how she is and he’s a moaning mess for it

•But it’s in a primarily “you make me feel so good, I love you so much, how are you so good at that?” sorta way. She keeps one other way tucked away for very special occasions when the mood is right

•it��s got to be just right tho. not that a bomb will go off if it’s not, he’ll just sorta look at her like “thanks babe, you’re silly tho” if she times it wrong. If she times it right?! Times it right and all she’s gotta do is call him boy and he shakes and hardens into an absolute mess. He’s gotta be pretty far goners when she plays that card, but if he is, he loses it. “That’s it sweet boy, you’re my pretty boy, so good to me darling boy, hold on for me a little longer sweet boy, you’re my boy aren’t you?”

•with Tilly being so lush and warm and free and easy, I am gonna be bold and admit this couple 100% lets that man suck her titties -even when she’s got milk in them. It’s no age regression thing at all, it’s not “mommy kink” either, in fact, it's simply the man who made her a mother helping her out when she’s swollen and hurting, or else, savoring the changes he made to her body. As a man. And it’s just something soft and sweet to indulge in. And Tilly does have the most incredible rack ever so there’s that as well.

•is there a small breeding kink or is he just Catholic and does she enjoy the faces he makes and the hot splash of him when he cums inside? who knows tbh

•Jack has to be facing her. Or at least for years. He’s gotta be facing her or else a mirror and they learned this the hard way, otherwise his trauma will literally teleport him elsewhere and shut him down and it’s the most horrible thing has ever witnessed

•also for very a long time he wasn’t just unable to bear things being done to him like a blow job, but truly it fucking sent him as well. A remedy for this was found to be his enjoyment of oral for her or else full in sex or, with care and time, mutually giving. He just can’t lay there and enjoy being serviced, it’s not him being too stressed or picky, he legitimately is traumatized by it. So, god bless 69 even if Still thinks she’s trash at it because he’s so good at what he does on his end that after the first two minutes she is usually so blissed out she just holds his cock and moans on it instead actually doing much of anything close to blowing him

•there are some other stalag trauma related triggers and helps and tastes that we’ll revisit later once more of that it out in public consumption but there’s that for now I think. This was SUCH fun

[stars-n-spice]

Thots on s3 episode 08!

you know the drill, spoilers and incoherent screaming under the cut!

i was a fucking giddy, giggling, blushing mess this entire episode

for like a solid five minutes i was just flapping my hands

look, you're going to put WRECKER and FENNEC on screen TOGETHER for most of an episode and expect me to be normal about it????

like HELLO??

i'm starting to think star wars has it out for me, they are actively trying to give me a heart attack

ANYWAYS

WOW I LOVE PABU, I LOVE IT BEING SAFE AND NOT BEING TAKEN OVER BY THE EMPIRE I HOPE IT STAYS LIKE THAT!!!

RETURN OF THE QUEEN!!! PHEE <3333

Omega feeling guilty about Rex's squad getting sniped :(((

ECHO WTF COME BACK BABY THE KIDS MISS YOU

Crosshair being like, "you gotta be distant if you wanna keep them safe" <- yeah you'd know wouldn't you? ya little shit (ily)

Fucking,, burst out laughing at Crosshair's blank ass stare when Omega said Phee was a liberator of ancient wonders,, that silence and expression killed me

ALSO THE FACT THAT THAT WAS CROSSHAIR AND PHEE'S FIRST MEETING AND THEY DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING TO EACH OTHER?!?!? HELLO?!?!?!

I just wanna see them interact :((

tech mention :(

Hunter asking Omega to try and convince Crosshair to get his hand checked out,, FUCK ME UGHHHhhghhshsh

AND THEN HE DID! I honestly thought it would take more convincing

okay but it being something psychological maybe :(((

maybe I don't wanna know what Crosshair went through on Tatniss

Omega and Crosshair and Batcher continue to slay in every scene they're in

OMEGA'S OUTFIT WAS SO CUTE IN THIS!! I could see the Phee inspiration in it,, so fucking cute

I love Crosshair and Omega so much :(( the meditation scene??? god there are so many really good cinematic wide shots in this season,, I want giant ass posters of all of them

"You missed a lot" - "I know" FUCK :((

OKAY MY WIFEEEEEE

"Sit down." <- i'm fucking sat

I made so many,, noises this episode,, just incoherent stuff just stumbled out of my mouth I was a fucking MESS

ANYWHO

SPACE FLORIDA

love how much wrecker doesn't like fennec

when fennec said "keep your helmet on you'll die of the toxic air" or whatever I lost all hope for wet hair Hunter :(

WHY CAN'T YOU GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT??

I just wanna see Hunter look wet and more pathetic than usual, is that too much to ask for?

anyways

i love fennec shand

i love wrecker

i'm so normal about them, I swear

i've never wanted to be on a boat so badly in my entire life,, fucking HATE boats but I'd be on that little boat in a heart beat

that fight scene with the crocs??? oh my god-

guys most of the episode was just me going "oh it's WAY to fucking early to be thinking that"

Hunter getting his ass kicked <3

when Wrecker yelled into the comms and nearly busted Fennec's eardrums,, omg

I need them both. at the same time. oh my god.

MY WIFE IS SO SMART

that bounty was a pain in the ass holy shit

LMAOOOO Hunter you gotta start asking better questions and being clearer,, she didn't even have any information and made them do all the work, get fucking wrecked

WHO IS FENNEC TALKING TOO?? my bet? asajj.

yeah not too much happened in this episode, but idc idc,, my wife returned, Wrecker got more screen time, Phee was in it, and Crosshair is slowly healing, I say it was a win

[sexhaver]

card thots in no particular order

yayyyy redundancy for Bailey's Astarion deck

literally the only part about this card that doesn't feel AI-generated is the flavor text

i will never tire of watching people get dunked on in the mythicspoilers comment section

"hey reanimator decks! here's an 8 mana Living End you can't cheat out! wait, no, where are you going, stay away from that dinosaur, hang on,"

not much to see here, just Divination with mill synergy that uses Threshold Two: Electric Boogaloo to transform into a mana rock that has a ~50% chance of starting a rules argument every time you use it

as long as you have a creature out to repeatedly equip this to, i'm 95% sure this is the cheapest permanent in the game that functions as a free + repeatable discard outlet. so that's something

mechanically this is an aiight limited card but i just love how much more aggressive everything sounds in German. Kreatur - Schrecken

Lol.

"Kiki-Jiki at home" for my Obeka deck

hahahaha holy shit look at that font size

Lol.

this isn't actually as hard to activate as it looks since you can pull the creatures from your graveyard or battlefield and it mills cards into the former, but including that many different non-synergistic creature types in one deck is asking a lot. Modern has Changelings i guess?

[eyelessfaces]

This is more soft than thotty, but still a thot:

Llewyn definitely is very vocal in bed, like whining and whimpering and all that, and ohmygod just thinking about the first time the two of you sleep together and because of his shitty time recently it’s definitely been a while for him but he’s such a giving partner and honestly doesn’t expect anything in return, like just being able to eat you out is enough for him and you know he eats it like he’s starving and the beard burn holy shit I can’t I just love him so much he just gives me whiny little sub vibes and I just want to take care of him like riding him and he’s losing his mind trying to grab onto your hips or your waist or anything just to anchor himself because you feel too good and he lets you know that (like I said, he’s a vocal baby)

Anyway… I’m losing my mind thinking about this and ill return with more thots shortly (I have so many more but I don’t want to scare you lmao)

the way I clenched reading this lmfao........

I don't even know what to say, I got the butterflies while reading this and I just want to jump all around my room

also. I wrote a kinktober fic for him and it's more or less what you said...🤭

my best friend beta read the fic and said

so. yeah. exactly what you said.

look he doesn’t expect anything in return but tbh no one deserves it more than he does. I want to give him everything, I want to suck the soul out of him because he deserves it

(and omg your asks are the only thing keeping me together so don't worry about scaring me. I always wait a bit to read them when I receive them because I know it's gonna be so good so I want to keep them for later as a reward....... also the llewyn brainrot is so damn strong atm so you're feeding me real good. thank you sm. I feel like I'm llewyn and you're giving me a home and a bed to sleep in and many nice meals)

[2af-afterdark]

So. I sent you my brainrot thots about wanting to pamper Bael and have soft sex with him like;; yesterday? A day ago? Man, idk, my perception of time is fucked up. Anyways, I kinda sorta have more thots and they aren't so soft anymore, because angry Bael is. doing Things to my brain. Holy shit, I need that man in me right now.

Just imagine coming into his office at the wrong right time and witnessing him raging over something Beelzebitch did again. Like, grinding his teeth so hard it's a miracle they don't shatter and with his knuckles white because of how hard he's gripping the desk. And well. What's the best way to let the poor man blow off some steam if not by getting bent over his desk and absolutely fucking ruined? Bael is constantly so stressed, yet he still acts benevolent most of the time. Not this time. His thrusts are deep and rough, his hands leave bruises in the shape of his fingers and he's still scowling deeply. Except now it's not only from that bitter anger he feels towards his best friend. It's from how good it feels to sink his cock into that maddeningly tight warmth and to just fuck it like an onahole. Bael, usually, isn't the type to put his pleasure first, but this time he is, and he's all but growling from the sheer knowledge that he is allowed to be selfish and greedy for once. And by god, he's going to get the most out of this. Bael fully intends to keep going for as long as he can, to the point of collapsing. Even when he cums so many times there are tears in his eyes from the way his overstimulated cock throbs, his thrusts still don't falter. Again, and again, and again. He gives zero fucks about the paperwork that's scattered about and potentially stained with bodily fluids. All his brain is capable of focusing on is venting his frustrations by fucking like a dog in a rut, down to the growling and biting and scratching. It will take a long time before he returns to that paperwork.

...Have I mentioned that I am completely sane about Bael?

On an unrelated note, can I please be the 💛 anon? This is my third time blabbering to you and I fear it will not be the last one 😭

Please... I was saving the other ask to selfishly savor it and then you send THIS???? I am frothing at the mouth. I am researching how to make fictional characters real. I am chewing and swallowing this ask.

A rough Bael using you as his stress relief/punching bag? Yes please! I'll be whatever the fuck he wants whenever he wants. I will be his until he's satisfied and his documents are scattered on the floor and I pass out on his desk.

[toxicanonymity]

You once said something about the incongruity between how you might feel about a particular Joelkemon and how popular he is. How do you manage the anxiety that the next chapter of a story might not be what you wanted it to be? I'm juggling three or four series and someone said they liked one (holy shit! Someone else liked it! Tee hee) of them and asked me for a part two (which I was gonna do anyway) but now I'm writing it and it's killing me that this might not be as good or as well characterized (and maybe I just needed to toss this into the brothel where my man NW can share with me a new strain and we can fuck the publishing-day scaries away).

Also no, I don't think my regular writing has such Thomas Hardy-esque (read fucking long ass) sentences lol. Actually, if you need to call me something...that... Thomas Hardy-esque. I probably deserve that lmao.

LMAO night walks has a strain for everything.

Ok Thomas Hardy anon, I'll let you in on my secret, which is having a pretty bad track record at predicting what will and won't be a hit, to the point where anxiety about it is meaningless. IDK how many times I've thought "this is too much, no one's gonna be into this lol oh well" and people were more into it than other stuff. or "why am I ruining this with ___ and i cant stop myself?" and I still did it bc it felt right for the character and the ___ is like people's favorite part. On the flip side there have been follow-up fics where I thought it was hot but it felt like most people just stopped reading the series lol like night walks late night dip (but he kinda recovered with the next one). I guess it's most important that it feels right to you. I know if I don't like something I can scrap/start over or overhaul it into one I really like before sharing. And if it's just not happening, maybe he doesn't wanna be written, the key thots might come easier some other time, like when I least expect it and often when I'm trying to work on something else 😐 but then it feels so right 🤡

[sebsxphia]

FINN THOTS!!!!

Him finding a way to use his bat as a spreader bar!!! 🫣😩🫠

funny you would say that dear anon, because i have been wracking my brain recently trying to think of ways finn would and could use his bat on you (in you) and this……… this is excellent dear anon holy shit 🥴😵‍💫

finn also spent a lot of time hunting, fishing, going on wilderness trips etc as a kid, so his rope tying skills are also top tier. he will proceed to tell you about a knot that was used in the army so many years ago and has the ability to hold whatever’s in place forever. so naturally he has to try it out on you and uses his baseball bat as an example.

he’s already tied up one ankle and he kinda just looks at you, with that smile, his pipe still in his mouth.

“finn… what are you thinking?”

he tells you some other insane history about rope as he secures your other ankle to the end of the bat and finishes it with a click of his tounge and a satisfied smirk.

“you look too good right now for me not to take advantage of you. i can see your pretty pussy on display with your legs spread like that. just one taste, baby. i’ll be quick, promise.”

he’ll then proceed to overstim you until you’re shaking and crying, but unable to close your legs. all you can do is enjoy every orgasm finn pulls out of you.

holy shit thank you so so much for this insane thot my dear anon!! 💌

@topguncortez @seresinsbabe for my finn sluts <3

[safetycar-restart]

Very self indulgent thot but please imagine with me leading a kink demo with Nyck as your model.

I really love leading impact play demos and I just know Nyck would fucking love being on stage with all eyes on him getting to prove what a perfect sub he is.

Nyck being introduced to the audience and giving a little wave before he gets manhandled over the spanking bench. Him getting to enjoy zoning out to the sound of your voice while you start talking about techniques and strike zones while you warm him up with your hand.

He loves getting to experience so many so many different implements in a short period of time. The only thing he dislikes is he knows you aren’t hitting as hard as you do at home but he also kind of loves that it enforces that this isn’t about him. He’s just a prop for you right now so that other subs can get what he has without him having to really share you. He loves listening to your voice and how confident you sound educating people about what you both love.

Then at the end when it’s time for questions from the audience you take him off the bench and hold him in your lap as you both answer questions. You just keep one hand firmly in his hair to ground him and keep him from getting too floaty while you are both in public like this.

And maybe after when you two leave Nyck is so turned on you two don’t even make it home, you end up pulling off the road somewhere so that you can ride him in the front seat of the car quick and dirty with one hand on his throat while you praise him for how perfect he was.

🔮

I… i think this ask might have permanently changed my brain chemistry holy shit.

Firstly, nyck LOVES being shown off. But he especially loves when it’s both of you being shown off? When he knows that everyone in the room is jealous of him, and of his Dom, when he can show how incredible his Dom is, how much his Dom knows.

So leading a kink demo with you is insane. He loves it so so much. He’s been all giddy about it for weeks already, cause he’s so excited to show everyone how good he is and how good his Dom is and what an amazing team you make.

The first thing you do when the demo begins to make a show of asking nyck to repeat his safewords and have him tell you what to do if he can’t talk and all of that. He’s smiling the entire time, showing the audience how happy and at ease he is, how he has complete trust in you. He’s also a little more mouthy than normal, but that’s just because he wants to show everyone how you two can joke a little.

And you love it. You love that he’s so comfortable here. You would call this whole thing off in an instant if you even suspected that nyck was feeling uncertain. But he’s not. He’s so ready.

He playfully waves goodbye to the audience as you manhandle him onto the bench and everyone laughs at that.

Then he just zones out. This is your show now. He knows his place very well and that’s just to stay still and take whatever you give him (though he does wriggle his ass a little after you give him a smack he really enjoyed, trying to tempt you to do it again, which you inform the audience of bedside you know exactly how to read his body language and he blushes so hard at all).

He lets the sound of your voice wash over him and gives himself to the sensations, not a care in the world. You aren’t hitting as hard as he likes, but that’s okay. This is so educate others and he loves that, loves that he can help others get what he has (though not with his Dom of course, he’s very possessive).

Every now and then you’ll stop and walk to the other side of the bench face him. You’ll kneel down and run your hand through his hair, checking that he’s okay. He always nods and maybe asks for a kiss, just cause he loves kisses.

At the end you slowly untie him and then rub lotion into his ass and thighs. You show everyone how to care for any wounds that may come up, even though you haven’t actually come close to breaking the skin. You aren’t willing to hit hard enough to risk that in front of people, because often hitting that hard will send nyck deep into subspace and you want him to at least be semi aware of his surroundings here.

You explain that to the audience, and nyck loves how you’re talking about him like he’s not even there. It really lets him feel like he’s just a prop for you, which is exactly what he likes to be.

Once you’ve finished with that, you help him off the bench, as expected he’s all shaky and unsteady on his feet. He leans onto you, knowing you’ll take his weight. You put some undies on him before you let him turn around. Nyck said he was fine being naked in front of the audience but he’s so floaty that you’re not sure he’d call yellow if he felt uncomfortable with it.

So you put some undies on him and then wrap him in a fluffy robe. He nuzzles into the tone, feeling so happy with the situation.

You sit down at the front of the stage, letting nyck curl up in your lap. He kisses your neck and smiles.

You tell the audience that they can ask questions now, and multiple hands go up. Nyck mostly just floats until someone asks a question directed at him.

Then you have to tug at his hair a little to get him to listen to you. He’s so dazed, smiling at you and not at all processing your words until you pull him a little and then he snaps out of it.

You inform the audience that he’s a little floaty, and he just smiles guiltily, not even trying to deny it. He half answers the question and then just leans back against you and looks up at you. No more words.

You laugh at him and kiss his forehead, finishing answering the question for him because he’s in no state to.

You try your best to keep him from getting too close to subspace but it’s very hard because he clearly wants to drop.

In the end you just quickly answer the questions yourself and then end the demo, thanking everyone for attending and helping nyck backstage where you put him in soft clothes and get him to the car.

He curls up in the car, and for a moment you think he’s going to just sleep for the whole ride home. But no, of course not.

He starts whining before you even get out the car park, and so you give him permission to jerk off. He tries, he does!!

But the poor thing can’t make himself cum. He’s been manhandled by you and looked after by you for the entire day, there’s no way his hand will satisfy him.

He tries his best, but he can’t!! As much as you want to just drive home, you can’t. Your sub is getting distressed.

So you pull over.

Originally you intend to just give him a handjob, but he’s whining and crying and asking for more and well… you can’t deny that riding him would be fun.

So you do, keeping a hand on his throat to make his quick and it is. It’s quick and filthy and amazing. He’s crying by the end, mumbling thanks over and over again, whining because you didn’t take your top off so he can’t nuzzle against your titties.

You give him a little cuddle and then get him home for more cuddles.

[airin-lavellan]

my brain agonizes me every day about latching onto rezaren and here's the thing. here's the thing I dislike most about how he was written: he was an inconsistent and rushed character. the inconsistency was the worst part and I could go on forever.

he starts as the morally questionable guy right? the show leads you to believe he's grey in morality- willing to fight a spirit for what he believes is right, manipulative but still caring. the first major hint of the backstory/flashbacks we see is rezaren crying. crying asking what miriam has done in the bloody scene. and that hits like a "holy shit there's more to it

then they open up with the brother/sister thing when they finally meet. still incredibly interesting- a villain who platonically loves the mc? who cares about them but in the wrong way and does the wrong things because of it but overarchingly loves them? amazing.

then in episode four, they build it up. the flashbacks point to rezaren having an idealistic idea of their past and miriam being rightfully very angry. we see it from his eyes, them laughing and playing together. then we see what rezaren ignored. he deflects this by saying he was a child and couldn't protect them- a fair point if we infer his mother was abusive towards, which we can infer from the harrowing "no ammosine has failed" part. he could apologize. he does not. miriam brings up the harrowing as her trump card- extremely strange to me in terms of narration because it portrays rezaren in a...not bad light? his mom is the aggressor, he's just shown as younger and weak and helpless. it doesn't match the buildup

there is a very clear snapping point where redemption is no longer an option for him: when he loses his temper at miriam. the switch is jarring, very jarring, at first, but it's okay. it would have been preferred if he was redeemed but it's not necessary, he could still be an amazing pure evil character.

...and then he's not. he goes far too quickly into too much evil- they set him up for a descent to madness and then go from one scene of "i won't use blood magic tassia don't worry" to "watch me publicly kill this guy on my own team".

when his character is really messed up is the finale. when he decides to go super sayan racist mode and be like "i'm going to enslave you bitch kys" but is STILL TRYING TO RESURRECT NEB. perhaps he's delusional but they don't explain that!! if he's angry with miriam now, if he's fully evil now, his character motivation is gone. it cannot be "i want to resurrect my 'brother' and have a happy family again" because if he's going to turn on miriam in this way he should have no reason to keep trying with the circulum.

the show had so many places it could have solidified him as a villain- a true villain like he was supposed to look like at the end. they could have, say, shown him mistreating miriam or slaves. or shown him owning slaves. because we don't have any idea if the slaves in the summer palace are his- and they're probably not because he doesn't even live in that city. the palace is in Nessum, and he explicitly tells Tassia "don't worry queen i can't keep doing evil blood magic study because soon I have to go back to Minrathous".

they could have made him a descent into madness character- which is totally thrown off by the whole "hey don't get too deep into blood magic" "*kills people*" swapup. so now people can basically paint things however they want- because a lot of the "proof" for him being a certain way is inferences. justified, reasonable inferences, but inferences nevertheless and the show is just badly paced. and so we have people differing from "if you like rezaren you're a slaver" to "actually his enslavement was good and miriam is the real villian" and it's just. aagg. they were all good and bad characters!! liking a fictional character does not mean you agree with them. agony agony agony. anyways sorry for my 9 paragraph essay in your ask box but I am Tormented By Thots and your rezaren post reminded me of the queercoded little man who would call me slurs if I ever breathed the same air as him (he has 55 limp wrists and two arms. and it's no coincidence the show censored the only heterosexual kiss him and tassia have to be fruity at least just a bit)

Wow first of all thank you for taking the time to read my post and giving me your insights. I was fully viewing this in terms of what we see in the show but reading this, I must say a lot of aspects of how he was written also came into play. I loved the show and it's characters and I think it's biggest flaw is it's length since a lot of things had to be rushed and couldn't get explored on a deeper level.

He is definitely presented as a rather grey character and I think it's thanks to all of these sudden shifts that the fandom is very divided, since we didn't get to explore more about him and his other motivations or actions in the past we can merely judge him by what we see, and only what we are shown. From the start he did seem a bit manipulative, hiding true intentions behind the so called kindness, yet as the show progressed I couldn't help rooting for him, like you said: the harrowing scene doesn't show him in a bad light. He was completely helpless and in danger himself, the choice to use Neb was his mother's and I do believe she was also abusive to him. Sure not in the same way as Miriam got abused but you can see how fearful he was. When they were kids he was taught that slavery was normal and okay, yet we see an adult that wants to change that, he recognizes his mistakes.

The snapping did feel rushed and out of nowhere, and you're right. I hadn't noticed how conflicted his motivations are during the show. Perhaps it is indeed flawed writing but I think if we can find a logical explanation, it would point to the circulum itself. Tassia openly says that the thing is changing Rezaren, and she has known him for a while. Again, we haven't seen anything else from his past so nothing we can really base ourselves on. He seems to know blood magic and as far as we know he was always in control using it. Why did it change now? I blame the circulum, mixed of course with his desires being frustrated. Miriam was algo blinded by rage, both were equally stubborn and wanted to do something yet they sought a different purpose with different means and I can love and appreciate both. I just indeed dislike the discussion about Rezaren being a slaver, because imo he definitely isn't.

[maybanksbabe]

Holy fuck I have so many Thots right now

Goodboy!rafe x psycho!reader holy shit

Lowkey wanna write you a tiny fic again about psycho calling him pretty boy or my good boy while riding him 😭 (ps can I be 💜 anon or is that already taken?)

Yo this blog ab to make me start writing my own fanfics fr

GOOD MORNING I WOULD LIKE TO KKOW 😁

Goodboy!Rafe x Psycho!Reader PLEASE I'm all ears!!! You don't have to think twice about sending in those drpbbles/ficlets I fucking LOVE them and eat them up like no tomorrow I'm genuinely all ears whatever you decide to send in!!

And of course! That is now your emoji 💋

[demonfox38]

Completed - Lunar 2: Eternal Blue Complete

Never sleep in the nude. Especially not when an emergency might happen. Like, say, a home invasion.

Have you been keeping up with the latest hot debate in video games?

Recently, video game publisher Naoki Yoshida revealed a perspective that surprised American audiences regarding the term J-RPG. While seen in the west as a classification of a certain flavor of role-playing games produced in Japan, it is seen as derogatory and reductive to Japanese developers, particularly in how many people use the term to mock design choices in both the game rules and story structure. Which, man, it sucks to hear that it causes pain and sour feelings. Like, a lot of the best video games I've played fall under that categorization. Hell, I grew up in the era where Japanese companies were the most trusted and revered in game development. I'm not saying that the likes of Nintendo, Konami, and Capcom are perfect little angels, particularly when it comes to overworking staff members. But, even today, I still have a positive bias towards Japanese games and developers. Hell, that was my first major link to a culture outside my own. To think anyone would consider them inferior when they both saved the goddamn industry and continue to make major contributions to it is infuriating.

It was definitely a weird time to play "Lunar 2: Eternal Blue Complete," all things considered. Because man, is "Lunar 2" ever the most game of that game type.

"Lunar 2" takes place about 1,000 years after its predecessor. A silent threat is building behind a false front of benevolence, triggering a strange woman to come blasting to Lunar to stop it. She subsequently gets nerfed so hard that even a paper weight could take her out. Lucky for her, a hero named Hiro (lucky that!) comes to her aid. Through various tribulations, Hiro, the strange woman from the Blue Star, and their friends manage to quell the rising threat without using the same destructive power that once killed an entire celestial body. And then, when the strange lady ditches the planet to return home, Hiro re-discovers space travel to reunite with her.

Like, buddy. She says she loves you, then ditches you hard enough that you have to create NASA? Maybe think twice about this.

Are you old enough to remember "The Grand List of Console Role Playing Game Clichés" website? Like, pre-TVTropes TVTropes? This game could literally be that list codified. Like, there are several rules on that page that are named after both "Lunar: Silver Star Story" and "Lunar 2" characters and situations. It's not to say "Lunar 2" is derivative, necessarily. A lot of the party members are creative in the same way that a teenager's fantasies are brashly unique. It's just what you'd expect out of an RPG story. Church bad; dragons good; Satan's a thot; only your girl is pure enough to fight them.

"Lunar 2: Eternal Blue Complete" gets strange when put into the context of time. Like, this remastering was released in 2000. This poor game was released in the same year as "The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask" and "Final Fantasy IX." Like, holy shit, right? It's wild how much technology varied between 1999-2001. Absolute cowboy years of gaming. I can't find sales numbers for this particular variant, but if it were sentient, I'd have to imagine it took to drinking with "Wild Arms 2." What a rough time to roll out. Hell, depending on how you look across international markets, even the original game would have had spicy competition from "Shin Megami Tensei" 1 and 2, "Final Fantasy 6", and "Phantasy Star IV." Aspects from those RPGs might make this one look sweet and baby-faced by comparison.

There is one major structural difference between "Lunar 2" and most games. This is the inclusion of its post-game epilogue, where Hiro strives to reunite himself with his lost love. Honestly, this may have been one of the earliest games to try this narrative structure out. Like, it's so unique that I thought this was added to the Playstation version to quell angry players of the Sega CD version. (It's not, but more on the Sega CD version at the end.) It's probably most comparable to "Tales of Graces F" or more recent "Pokémon" games, in terms of content addition. Despite some hang-ups I have about Hiro's relationship, I do think it is critical to play through. It's an additional 15-20 hours on top of the 24 it took you to get to it, but honestly, it feels wrong to let this plot thread hang. Might as well do all you can!

Like its predecessor, "Lunar 2" has a generally likable cast. Most of them are flawed, but still endearing (particularly, alcoholic gambling addict/ex-priest Ronfar, assassin-turned-dancer Jean, and money-hungry, driven mage Lemina.) Even some of the villains are surprisingly kind, once you kick their ass. (Although, Lunn and Borgan probably should have had some subsequent ass beatings for what the hell they pulled. Fucking karma escape artists.)

There was one major character hang-up I had, and that was with the main heroine herself. Like, I get that Lucia is a weird space girl from thousands of years ago, so she might not have the best sense of social cues. But, there are several times where she tries to ditch the party to continue her mission alone, only to end up putting either herself or the party in danger. She initially bails on helping a sick baby because it might take too much time. She gets weirdly prudish as she starts falling in love with Hiro, which seems backwards. Then, there's the whole ditching humanity to go back into a freezer to wait for the Blue Star to recover. Like, hello? Girl? What the hell? Did you learn nothing this entire time about working with humans to accomplish your goals? Could you not have learned about agriculture or the fine points of sustainable space travel? Did you think any less of your goddess for going mortal and abandoning both the Blue Star and Lunar? Do you think any new life on the Blue Star would automatically revere and listen to you like in the past? How are you a princess of a dead planet? What's the governance on that? Is this mike on? Hello? 

Oh, well. At least she didn't nuke anybody.

The gameplay of "Lunar 2" is pretty much the same as it was in the first game. It's mostly mazy dungeon exploration + turn-based combat + inventory management on lean funds. I didn't have to stat boost Hiro as much to get through bosses this time, but there's definitely an item in the epilogue that makes stat boosting totally spammable. Absolutely worth it. While Lucia is in your party, you have no control over her actions. It's weird (and honestly irritating in some circumstances), but comparable to the Sega CD variant of Luna from the first "Lunar" game. I don't think you'll find anything too surprising here. It's just mostly about stacking your dominoes in the right order.

The engine for this game is so similar to the first game that I literally encountered the same audio-loading hard lock bug. This time, it hit with a vengeance. Like, if I did not own a disc repair machine, there's a good chance I would not have been able to beat this game. The discs were just in that rough of shape. I guess I can't blame a game for failing if its physical media is melting into sludge. It did make for some frightening moments, though.

Seriously—don't get into physical media collecting if you're not going to put the work into keeping your collection functioning. A lot of the games I like are running on consoles that are between 20-40 years old. It's only a matter of time until a clock battery runs dry or an electrolytic capacitor blows or even a disc reader fails. You've got to be ready for when that happens. Otherwise, you're just making an elaborate garbage pile.

Media degradation isn't the only way this game is rough. A lot of the translation is very of-the-times. Which, for the late 90s/early 200s, means that there is a significant amount of crude language. Like, I gave "Final Fantasy VII"'s translation shit for Tifa's single R-bomb. Ronfar is handing them out like party favors. I'm assuming if you're reading this on Tumblr, you're also well aware of the international discussion of terms used to describe those of the Roma ethnicity. And, okay. I want to be a good international citizen. So, I try to be mindful about the wrong term in the same way one has to be careful about using Eskimo, Indian, or Oriental. And then, Jean literally shouts "Gypsy magic!", and I end up snorting pop up my nose. Like, goddamn. Times really change, don't they? And that's not even getting into one character being solely dragged for his weight! Shit, man.

Oh my God. Anybody remember that bit with the woman in Zulan having amnesia and forgetting she was a mom? That was pretty fucked, too. Like, imagine how horrific being in that position would be for all parties considered. Although, I guess that’s also the plot to "Overboard", in a way. 🙃 Jeepers. Times change, indeed.

This is a minor nitpick, but Hiro's run option was driving me nuts in game. I'm used to using it like you would in an old "Pokémon" game to blast through everything as fast as possible. Hiro's run is very limited. Like, maybe 4-6 tiles out limited. Also, don't expect to gain any invincibility frames from it. The damn thing is really near useless, especially when trying to evade enemies. But, I guess it's there, so…thanks?

If you are interested in playing this game, definitely play "Lunar: Silver Star Story" first. It does add a lot of meaning to the game, although you could probably follow along without that experience. The Playstation version of this game is a must, particularly for those in the NTSC region. I mean, those of us in the U.S. are used to companies dicking around with international releases. There's beefing up enemy stats and increasing item costs, and then there's consuming the experience points used to beef up spells so that you can save your game. Like, okay, Satan. As if 40 hours of grinding weren't enough already!

Whatever you decide to do, I hope you come away from this introspection with at least one important thing to remember. Keep your games clean. And I don't mean linguistically. Although, it can be thoughtful to do that, too.

There's no reason to shit up the world before Space Satan does it.

[solies-scripts]

I know I'm a dead blog now but holy shit I need to scream about trigun/trigun stampede with someone right this second because I have so many thoughts thots that I need to get out into the open