#I have said to friends 'Yeah I'm being mean to some Trump supporters on the doll forum'

[jabberwockypie]

Today I was arguing with a transphobe and got to weaponize my hysterectomy as a cis woman, as a bodily autonomy issue for the first time, and let me tell you that felt fantastic.

Because it's true! This surgery has made my life massively better, and I wanted to have this surgery since I was a teenager, but due to gatekeeping I was not able to have it at 18 or 20 or 25 or 30 etc and had unnecessarily been in a MASSIVE amount of pain with truly prodigious quantities of blood loss, for TWENTY YEARS. Because of a huge amount of "But what if you change your mind and regret it? :-/" from the medical community, among others.

Relatedly, a fun thing about Reddit, is that you can look at someone's post history. So if someone says something where you're like "Hm, I can't tell if you're well-intentioned but clueless, or if you're an asshole", I can just search for particular keywords like "voting" or "Trump" and find out what ELSE they've said in different communities.

She's not going to change her mind, but it matters more that other people in the doll subreddit see that it's not okay to say shit like that.

A thing I've noticed about a lot of largely female-dominated hobby spaces is that there's this expectation that Being Nice is more important than refusing to tolerate unacceptable behavior. And it leads to the whole Nazi Bar Problem, and it sucks.

[sassysnakedemon]

Sorry - it's been a while

So, I've been missing for a while. I had to take a break from socials of all kinds (although, tbh, I really only have tumblr and Ao3). There's been a lot of stuff happening. Trump getting re-elected was just the first brick in the wall (enjoy the Pink Floyd reference, if you like). I've been going through deep clinical depression, which is not unusual for me, but a real stop sign for social activity. I can cope, but only with a very basic amount of social activity, which includes 'real' relationships only, as those make my paycheck come through, where social media relationships do not put ramen on my table.

This sounds bleak, but on the plus side, prioritizing my real world activities has netted me a side gig that pays a hundo an hour for teaching the elderly to play the ukulele. That sounds like a joke, but it really isn't! And it's uniquely fun!!

I've also had to divest all of my investments that were made in the US, and transfer the funds to my bank up here in Canada - that took several days, and I was making sure to make it happen before the Inauguration took place. Luckily, I was able to make that happen, but I have a bunch of work to do now to make sure I can make some good investments in Canada instead. I would surely love to invest so properly that I actually become wealthy, and then I can start giving back in a really big way to the various communities that I so desperately want to support. But that's kinda first world problems, so I understand if you don't care about that! (I mean, my real dream is to become like Michael Sheen and just give up everything to help the people around me, and only keep that which I really need to live - unfortunately, with inflation and everything, what I have now is barely what I need to live for the next couple of years - and again, first world problems, but I have some plans - that don't include crypto - that might actually make it possible for me to turn what little I have into something big that could actually be life changing for the world around me)

On a far more personal note, I've finally made the decision (at the ripe old age of almost 48) to finally transition to male. I wanted to, like 30 years ago, but the LGB community was really unfair to trans people back then, so I spent the last almost 30 years trying so hard to be femme, when that's not what I am. I'm going for top surgery, as soon as I can lose enough weight to make it look good (I'm not enough overweight to have a problem with surgery, but enough that I wouldn't be happy with the results), and then we're on the road. If anyone wonders, my name now is Ezra - partly a cultural thing, and partly a Good Omens fan thing (if you know, you know), and I've gotten approval from everyone - friends, mother (and that was the hardest one, friends were all like 'yeah, we knew', but mom is a bit difficult) and best of all, my husband, who said 'I'm not much of a boob man anyway' in answer to my revelation. He also said that he couldn't live without me, no matter who, or what I was. That's something special right there! The plus is that I would be a gay man after transition anyway - never been really attracted to women in the first place, just didn't want to be one. So, I'm still wildly attracted to my husband of 20 years (this year in November - on Guy Fawkes Day, no less), but now I'm coming at the attraction as the man I've always been, rather than the woman I've been cosplaying for way too long. That's something, and it's been a big thing eating at my mind and soul for a long time. It's been keeping me from being completely open with everyone, and I apologize for that. But I had to wrestle with this particular demon one last time before I could rejoin the world.

I've also had walking pneumonia for the last month and a half, which does NOT make it easy to do anything, so I've been avoiding anything which isn't strictly necessary to do. I'm starting to recover though, so I will try harder now to rejoin 'all y'all', to make an appropriate Texasism, as I lived there for enough time to pick up the local jargon.

Suffice it to say that I will try harder to be a better friend to the friends I've made here, but give me a minute - I'm still finding my feet. And I've had a bit of trouble with the GO fandom, as I am finding it hard right now to hyper-focus on it when I've got so much else going on.

Can I say that the world sucks right now? Can I say to all of my friends here, and all of the friends that I'm yet to make, that I feel you, and will protect you? I am really feeling a sort of way, and it's hard to deal with. I wish the troubles were over, and that we could all sing together in fields of green - that we could love each other, even when we don't always agree. I would give anything, including the blood in my veins, for that future.

Sorry for the ramble - meds are partly to blame, but so is my depression - and my planning for a future I cannot see. I want to be engaged, but I'm finding it difficult. I want to be present for you, but that may not always be possible. I'm trying though, and I haven't forgotten any of the friendships I've made here - I'm just trying to be a better version of me before I come back and interact with everyone again!

@missunderstoodlyrics, @naturallyteal, @isiaiowin, @ilikeblue, @inezrable, @copperplatebeech,@phoen1xr0se, @di-42

[reasonandempathy]

how can you reblog a Zionist post criticizing people who support Palestine for allowing themselves to be harmed in an effort to support Palestine (https://www.tumblr.com/reasonandempathy/743584944850354176/politics-is-fucking-soul-churning-it-really-is) while also seeming to respect Aaron Bushnell, who made the ultimate sacrifice in an effort to support Palestine? is it so unthinkable that people would be willing to act against their own interest to stop a genocide?

TLDR; that post isn't denying people can self-sacrifice to stop a genocide. That post is about taking the broader context into perspective, and remembering that Trump Is Still So Much Worse, so you should vote against him.

-------------------------------------

Was thinking about this one, actually.

Didn't know the person's broader political views until checking them out, and while it's important context for that person individually, but the post at large still, broadly, stands.

There is, undoubtedly, an aspect of political discourse that promotes people who would vote for Biden to stay home or vote for someone not Biden and not Trump, rooted in (to a much lesser extent than Bushnell, who was being compelled to be an active participant) not wanting to be complicit in that genocide.

What I took to be the main thrust of that post was to point out the unfortunately very, very real dynamic of not helping Biden win would, objectively, be worse for everyone including Palestinians if Trump wins. And in a truly, honestly Binary choice between D or R, there is a correct choice to make. It's Biden.

The first few paragraphs of that post are basic "don't be selective with your care." Which is true.

The rape of Israeli women, the Jewish Diaspora, The various tortures and war crimes inflicted by Hamas and the Houthis are not things to be forgotten nor supported. The world is fucking complicated and "Good Guys" are in incredibly short supply, but "Hooray Huthis" is what I'd call an incredibly fraught tightrope to walk.

----------

The main thrust of that post, though, is referring to people who know Trump is worse and have done extensive work broadcasting that Trump is, objectively, Worse for Palestinians. Worse for Women. Worse for the LGBTQ community. Worse for Non-Christians. Worse for BIPOC. It's pretty simple and reasonable to think that if Trump was in the White House he would find some way to be even worse right now than Biden is being.

But they still can't endorse or support Biden. Who is definitely horrible, but also objectively the better of the 2 options we have.

Which is why I said Politics is soul-churning. Because it is. Because, outside of any actual plan to get anyone else into the White House, it is objectively Better for the people I care about.

My fiance.

My friends.

My extended family.

My Neighbors.

My trade union (though I haven't been in it for a few years).

My city.

My values.

It is objectively Better for Biden to be in power than Trump, which, again, is the only realistic alternative to Trump. But it does mean voting for the guy. And, yeah, I'm in NY (not a secret). Maybe I could vote for the Justice Party or the Green Party or something else.

But I can't assume nobody else will do that, and ceding what small influence I have (.000008% of Biden's popular vote in 2020) to actually help people to instead assuage my personal beliefs is putting my comfort over that small, minuscule, but very Real influence in being able to help people.

I...have blood on my hands. (broadly) We all do. I just want to add less to it.

[charliecoxbf]

We need to talk about the link between mental illness and political extremism. Because, as much I only have anecdotal evidence, I think there's something there.

I used to be extremely leftist. Like, very extremely. Concerningly so. Think "tumblr leftist". Every issue was a single issue, everyone across the aisle was the devil, hating the good for the love of the perfect. Imperfect allies were considered just as bad as enemies, i valued being morally pure and right more than achieving anything. I fell for "I'd rather not vote than compromise my values!" propaganda like it was custom made for me. It was bad. I cut people away for simple microagressions rather than trying to educate them, I boycotted movies I because of actors I secretly enjoyed but felt couldn't support due to not knowing for sure where they stood politically or because they said something insensitive once fifteen years ago.

I was also, unknowingly, struggling with OCD and Schizophrenia. Undiagnosed. Some things should have been signs that something was off, like my escalation from "Putin wants to rebirth the russian empire" and "Russia has homophobic policies" into "Putin wants to kill me, specifically, and has replaced my dear childhood friend with a look-a-like sent to kill me", which now looking back makes me feel a sort of sad empathy for a lot of people who genuinely believe "the vacciness have microchips that the government will use to track you!!!" because hey, they might just be stupid, but also, they might be struggling with psychosis too.

But then something amazing happened. I got diagnosed and medicated (and sure, I resisted both the diagnosis and the medication at first because I thought the psychiatrist who diagnosed me was a russian operative and the medication was poison sent by putin to kill me), and once the drugs kicked in, the world was less scary.

People across the aisle weren't the devil anymore. Microagressions weren't purposefully crafted with ill intent. People were worth being educated, and i finally realized that moral purity is impossible. I could turn my brain off and just watch a movie or TV show without worrying about what that meant about me or the greater scheme of things. Someone who watched The Big Bang Theory wasn't the enemy. And you know what? Turns out I like The Big Bang Theory. And Fuller House, and Jurassic World, and Guardians of the Galaxy. And Call Me By Your Name.

This obsession with moral purity and falling in love that we see in both political extremes (extreme left and extreme right, talk about horseshoe theory) is, to me, a kind of religious psychosis. People are looking for a savior (Trump, or Bernie, or any third party candidate), for absolution ("I was the bestest boy and boycotted starbucks for palestine / star wars for their wokeness / jurassic world & guardiand of the galaxy because chris pratt might be a republican and also because he thanked his second wife for giving him a healthy baby which definitely means he hates his first born disabled baby and anna farris / books for their sinful content / bluey because of palestine"), for a lack of responsibility ("both sides are equally bad so if i don't vote i'm not supporting badness and it's not actually my fault when whoever wins wins"). They think they themselves are more important than anything else in the world. Yes, even the causes they claim to support. ("I won't vote for kamala because of palestine, and yeah that means trump wins and yeah that's terrible not only for palestine but also domestically and globally, but at least I won't be marked by the sin of compromising.")

I think a lot of those people, on both sides of the aisle, could benefit from therapy and medication. I'm not saying there's an epidemic of mental illness on the political extremes - some people (like JD Vance and Candace Owens) are just sell outs looking for a proffit and will say anything to get it. Some people (like Trump) are objectivelly evil. Some are just brainwashed by religion. But there must be at lesst a significant amount who are struggling with mental illness.

I don't know. Just my 2 cents. What do you guys think?

[dukeofankh]

I mean, nothing I said was suggesting that nothing can or should be done. I have a couple things I can think of but people are already rightly pointing out that my experience, like all experiences, isnt universal. Calling out a shallow take isn't something I'm doing because I'm so so wise and I know how to fix everything.

I have heard the take that part of the fix for this will probably be a lot more white men with podcasts, and that is almost definitely *part* of the fix. It is legitimately difficult for young men to find content about random ass basic hobbies that isn't being served to them by low-key fascists. That needs to change. When talking with other progressive men, something that came up a lot was after school programs, especially ones that bring boys in more contact with their communities and expose them to different kinds of people in positive ways. Hate breeds in ignorance and isolation.

You already seem very anti-terf, which is great. That is also part of it. I don't honestly think that women are the cause of this problem but like, in terms of fixing this and convincing men that feminists are on their side, yeah, some small part of it is probably looking at the state of feminism currently and recognizing that it has devolved in many very public online spaces into reactionary gender essentialism and that radical feminism takes up a lot more air than anyone would like to pretend it does.

"Sure I wholeheartedly reblogged something that claimed that any man who seems decent is just trying to let women's guards down to make it easier to assault them, something all men are trying to do to women at all times, but that's just venting. Ignore that broadside that me and my friends just unloaded on you and everyone who looks anything like you, if you think that your hurt feelings about that matter, that's on you for not recognizing that our pain justifies saying literally whatever we want" (to call up a random example) is certainly a standard that it is possible to enforce in some more isolated corners of the internet, but there has been a serious breakdown between the personal and the public, which is hell for messaging as a movement. This is no longer drinks with friends, this stuff gets broadcast worldwide to men who are trying to get a sense of what feminism is about. At some level, what is cathartic to say will have to give way to what is tactically wise to announce.

The only men who will willingly share space with that sentiment if it is core to this movement are either convinced that they are personally exempt from examining their own privilege, which is its own problem, or men who agree wholeheartedly that all men are evil, them included, and are trying to atone. I've interacted plenty with both in male feminist spaces. It's not a winning team. I am aware how hard that will be. 4B type political lesbianism/lesbian separatism seems to be having a moment (at least as a meme) right now as people process their grief in this moment. That's understandable. But it's not wise.

Considering this is happening in the wake of the US election, and I'm saying this as a Canadian, it's also worth gently and precisely noting that even if the harm is the same, someone who voted for trump didn't necessarily do it because they despise women. If we're just looking at the raw numbers and saying "we're doomed", that's probably not helpful or, luckily, accurate. The project of changing the cultural narrative is huge and depressingly long. The rise of reactionary right wing populism when a society starts failing its young people economically isn't. That is a different, and much easier project. If you don't want people to vote for right wing populism, you need to give them left wing populism, and infiltrating the democratic party and pulling all the same tricks the right did but towards economic policy that will provide the next generation of men with the opportunity to own homes and pull their weight supporting families will do a hell of a lot more in a much shorter time than systematically changing each and every man's heart, especially considering a lot of the people who voted for trump weren't men. This project will outlast us, but MAGA doesn't have to.

If your vision for the deradicalization of right-wing men begins and ends with "other men telling them that that's gross and to stop it" then I'm sorry, you do not understand how masculinity works.

"Men who hold patriarchal status" and "men who are feminists" are two groups who overlap less than you want them to. I'm sorry. That's not solely because men are so happy with patriarchal status that they don't want to risk it by policing misogyny/queerphobia/racism, It's because being misogynistic, queerphobic, and racist, end expressing other forms of toxic masculinity(and often abusively so) are part of how people establish and maintain patriarchal status. The men who have the ability to stop this via nothing but peer pressure are the very people who are doing it. That's by design. And engaging in feminist intervention is, in and of itself, usually the abrupt end of that status and its associated power to persuade misogynistic men.

Like, I have worked in blue collar jobs as a notably queer person. It was pretty much a constant deluge of verbal abuse. In my experience, most blue collar work environments are exploitative, abusive, and bigoted, and very gleefully so. On the occasions I have spoken up about someone saying something that was super fucking out of line (asking me which of the girls walking by was hottest. We were installing a portable classroom at a middle school), believe it or not, they completely failed to be shamed! Because nobody else on the crew gave a fuck. *I* was the weird one. They ghosted me. A full blown company ghosted me. I suddenly didn't have a job anymore because they just straightforwardly stopped telling me where the next job site was.

Like, this doesn't mean that it's your job to do it, but this vision you have of these big groups of men where everyone is on the fence and there is precisely one shit stirrer who can be shut down by a brave feminist man who can single handedly set the example for all these other guys...you are high. You are describing an "everybody clapped" level absurd scenario. Most of these truly virulent misogynistic guys either have zero friends, because, you know, our society is atomized to fuck, or they are in a group where the feminist guy is actually the weirdo who can be shut down and ostracized much, much easier than the misogynists, because there is no such thing as a man misogynists respect who stands up for women.

You might be saying "well, we're talking about longstanding personal relationships, actually. Like, they need to have to want to spend time with you and then, as a side effect, you can mind control them out of being a threat to us."

Problem with that being:

1: Many feminist men also have no friends, see the atomized society above.

2: Feminist men already stopped hanging out with men who make rape jokes because why the fuck would we want to spend time with them.

3: That isn't just because we respect women so hard. We are in many cases talking about men who are also deeply queerphobic, heirarchical, violent and abusive to other men. What initially drew me to feminism and women was a lack of heirarchical squabbling and constant bullying, and the ability to be openly queer. A lot of men who came to feminism did so because they knew that the patriarchy was not a place they would find success or acceptance. These are not the men who are gonna be able to change right wing minds.

4. Men do not view themselves as a monolith. There is no universal brotherhood of men. The actual meaning of the term "Fragile masculinity" is that men are constantly expected to prove that they are deserving of the status of being a member of their own gender. There are large swathes of men--including most of the men who you'd look to as examples of good, feminist men who you want to undertake this project--who are considered failed men, sissies, f****ts, soyboys, ect. They are. Not. Going. To. Convince. These. Men. Of. Jack. Shit. Much less successfully *shame* them. Jesus.

I know all of this sucks. I know it would be cool to be able to just point at a group and have them be responsible for the work. But nah. It's gonna have to be a societal project, one that will probably outlast all of us. Sorry. The thing you want these men to do is, absolutely, the morally correct thing to do. But presuming that it would be effective is, and once again I am so sorry about this, just ignorance of how these social groups function.

[snowseasonmademe]

so, he responded to my apology and said

"Thank you and don't worry about it, l'm happy we can move on from that"

so we're cool now, l guess (???), but I still feel so weird about it. Like I can't look at him the same way, if that makes sense? It's like he's shown me who he really is and how he really feels about political issues (he's given some slight trump supporting statements before as well and especially yesterday even though he's a white Mexican that lives in Mexico and only comes to the US for vacay because his dad owns timeshares and holiday resorts) and I'm glad he did because now I know that he's not a safe person.

But that's just it, I feel odd because now I know that he's not a safe person. And this is the way l've been made to feel with all of my friends who just so happen to be white or nonblack. They either are racist themselves or surround themselves with racist people, making them racist adjacent (???).

Like I can never be comfortable in a friendship like that.

for example, this is the type of shit he says (bold = copied and pasted texts).

YOU chose to offend yourself because that word has a shit ton of meanings therefore YOU picked the meaning you wanted to take

(this is like when white people say the n word or some other micro/macro aggression and say that it's our fault for being offended)

And being black doesn't open a window of grief that other people can't possibly fathom

... okay.

So what you are saying is that because you are of a certain skin color you are more capable of understanding something, this then makes other races inferior because of their lack of understandability of the subject

WHEN DID I SAY THAT OTHER RACES ARE FUCKING INFERIOR LIKE WTF (this was in reference to me stating that different races have different experiences)

Yeah. My goal this year is to simply make friends with more black and LGBTQ+ people. Because I can't do this anymore. I can't go into adulthood experiencing the same shit I did in my predominantly white high school, absolutely not.

all i’m going to say about him is he needs to grow up. that whole choosing the meaning of a word that means different things is stupid. and YES black people understand more perspectives than anyone else. that’s a fact. yes, everyone else understands less because on one else goes through what we do. him saying everyone else is inferior sounds like him projecting a little bit. and there are certain things that black people will never understand about white people. the difference is that we are always willing to learn and understand more.

i would absolutely recommend having a more diverse group of friends if you can. it’s such a beautiful experience to have different poc and LGBT friends. i’m someone who has only had maybe 5 white friends in my whole life and i have also had a lot of LGBT friend as well. even when i lived around and went to school with A LOT of white people. it’s been great for the most part. of course there will always be colorism and racism but poc and LGBT people are a lot more welcoming and respectful than straight white people are!

[pacifymebby]

do you not think following accounts like that is giving them a bigger platform to spew their beliefs which can be deemed wrong or offensive though? If youre following people who openly vote trump then okay yes you may not support that but youre only allowing their content to grow and it probably makes them think they have more support to spread their message to. I understand where you are coming from, I just think that following people, in particular controversial people, does speak volumes about the media you are wanting to consume

I'm not gonna lie, in this day and age when social media works the way it does, not really... Like I think sharing their posts/liking their posts is "encouraging" but I think following an account doesn't mean much anymore. Someone like Joe Rogan would spew his shit to 5 or 5 million people... I've watched that man do wank standup to a room full of bored people and still make a rape joke with his full chest, yeah the follows will boost his ego and give him a half truth way of being like "all these people follow me so I must be right" but the whole world knows just cause all these people follow someone doesn't make them "right".

idk what it's like for you but scrolling my timeline I get shown content from about 20 of the accounts I follow, and my close friend's stories come up at the top... There are accounts I'm following that I NEVER see on my timeline... And i guess it's because we're all following such a high volume of accounts now unlike how it used to be.

I'd say as well I think we all choose to view the content we see through our own lens, yes I may choose to watch an Andrew Tate video (just an example I don't follow Andrew Tate lol) but that doesn't mean I'm then taking in his beliefs and choosing to believe them... I'm critiquing them, laughing at them, talking to my friends about how fcking scary he is etc... That's what I mean by like you don't know whether someone is hate following or like following to vaguely keep track of things etc... You also don't know how long someone's been following someone or whether they even still know they are following someone... Maybe I'm giving Sam too much credit here but before Joe Rogan was the way he is now, he was just some "dumb idiot" asking "smart people" to explain interesting things so that idiots can understand them... The guy used to appeal to a lot of "good" men...

There's also the fact that everything is so algorithmic anyway and regardless of whether a man follows Joe Rogan, he will get pushed him every day. Me and my friends quite like to play a "how many clicks" game on YouTube of how many clicks on random videos before you get given Andrew Tate or Joe Rogan or whatever, my male friends lose so fast and it's literally just cause YouTube knows they're male, 20-30 and into football.

Like I do understand what you mean, but I don't think that following someone is the same as giving them your mark of approval, and that ultimately if you're looking at who he follows, you can only make assumptions about his reasons for that and not actually know the full story. I think it's just good to treat strangers with the nuance you might allow your own mates... Like I said, if he was my mate I'd rip into him for the Joe Rogan follow, I'd call him a podcast bro, ask him if he just really fuckin loves Punk IPA or whatever haha... But I'd know the wider context and I'd know what he was like as an actual person so I wouldn't be like "this follow here means you are actually immoral and bad bye"

Again sorry for talking so much, I guess I just think it's a complicated subject and needs nuance so I can't answer in like two sentences cause it just doesn't cover everything haha.

Edit: just to clarify... I think it's good to call your mates out about things like that but I don't think it's helpful for large groups of strangers on the internet to all start shouting at someone at once about something, cause it's overwhelming and like just proven not to actually work to change views. So often the "angry mob" thing only ever seems to further push people on the absolute fringe of a political idea right into the heart of the extremists because whilst everyone on the outside is telling someone they are stupid/evil the cult with the extremist views are saying "see everyone hates you for expressing your own opinion, this world has gone mad, come to us we'll validate and protect you..."

[the-firebird69]

I got the message from Thor and Freya I'm getting a lawsuit ready into his uniform cuz our son is yelling through the wall we're going to kill you and you can't really hear it okay he's a freaking loser and a liar and all I have to do is say no and you're nuts and just talk for a minute and other people will come by but he won't make it here they're all stomping him now and they're pulling his people out and it works well and is cadre is doing it and the sick of doing it and he says I'm used to that coming from you guys I guess I should be because you're doing it. So I thought I saw Thor and Freya get on the line and get tons of people and we're going to bring them down here there's too many here and bja got up and he's been holding the line a little and not very well. They just got bombed to hell and they're right up in everyone's face like nothing happened I mean these people are too bad too they're Jew bags and I need it these people are kites there's nothing to do with being Russian these people are f*** of that persuasion and we're going to go after them for what they're saying the little turds you can kill them quite easy including our son has killed a few of them and it should be looked at that way because I was if you have to defend yourself together you get rid of them but you should know they're addicted and he killed these two Trump died and dan physically two of his grandsons too and they came back and they're partially dead one of them wants to fight with the hulk so bad and it's not even Dan so he says better it's one of his friends and he's controlling it and he loses the fight and he goes down and after that scene he's running away and he's mutating back the house the hulk is right behind him as the hulk catches up to him and grabs him throws him on the ground and says yeah I'm back any questions rude little piece of s*** and it was yeah cuz he says something stupid and that actor died and he punched him in the head and his head was completely gone so you talk about this stuff like you know what you're talking about but you're really just idiots we know that you're stupid and slow and you don't have mercy on you because of it it's why we're going after you and you're dumb enough to tell people and it looks sounds and is stupid we're presenting a lawsuit on Monday against John remillard and it is for our son it's for wrongful intent to harm because of his connections and because of inventing I'm going to sue you here in public it will cause trouble and we need to they're going to try and attack us and we're going to slaughter you and we're going to remove you from every office and position of power you ever had we're going to send letters to the government saying you should never have tolerated this into the international community saying that you're going to all get fired because of supporting this idiot being here and the empire is going after them and they should they ruin anything they come in contact with it's disgusting but they're the ones who are doing what should be done my son said why don't you just turn the whole place into a ball of fire we don't have anything there it should be entertained and he asked them why don't we just bomb them a little more maybe they'll do something against the empire and they said no but really there's some things blowing up and they Max have to react now there's a whole bunch of stuff going on but these idiots need out they're crying for it you want to threaten our son until there's nothing left and you don't know anything there's too many of you you like cattle

Bitol and Goddess Wife

I'm going to close with that and I'm going to say this we are bringing a case of against him on Monday I'm going to sue him and everyone's going to see what he's been doing and why and it's going to ruin him

Olympus

He's thanking me and Freya and Hera is too and she heard him and said that's great because I'm the one who had the idea and we're going to go forwards with it they were going forward with the American eagle

Thor Freya

I follow this it's kind of an American bike we're all going to be in it and part of it and from the start and he just had an idea that I had and I have the idea already we're going to play the characters there while they're fighting and we're going to create it because they're so lame they can't create a fart this is what you wanted BJ and you're suffering with all these morons it's not really your fault it's the empire but Jesus who people are pussies

Uriel and Goddess Wife

I can't stand you Billy Hicks we should have let our friend here beat you to death which is what he was going to do you're such a freaking turd who would have to burn you and we should have you're such a turd I can't believe you sail this dumb s*** and you want to pretend you're me and do stupid s*** and we all know it's you I just grab you all the time when you're doing it cuz you're stupid it's such f**** and you will ruin everything with doing and you want it hand him everything so you can run everything it's stupid it's not really running at you idiot

Bja

Is offering suggestions and it doesn't too much I have suggestions to offer and I try to offer them now and he says no and they say no first that's only get something this is ridiculous idea everyone's pissed at me and wants to be gone kidnapping him is to try and do other things and I don't care for that either they're probably going to kill us and he says they're definitely going to kill you that's what people shoot you is they want to kill you they're already trying to kill you no they've been killing you you are to be killed today I heard afterwards from Mac and I published it and you're stupid people said they're going to kill you they're trying to kill you they're doing it on purpose you're not going to come here and kidnap me you f**** you're getting killed because they put a hit on you it means they're trying to kill you now not some mystery or romantic solution to all sorts of things they're putting hits on you to kill you deaf and that was him and they're pretty I realize that and when I try something stupid they are going after me very hard and eventually do kill me and yeah that makes it stupid and I keep doing it because I have to try it it says it's not what happened the first time around you are a rebel now you're just an imbecile and a loser going down the wrong way street and someone's going to kill you pretty soon I swear to get something else I probably shouldn't have opened my mouth ever I understand something too I revealed the empire there after me and who wouldn't what they're doing to myself but I'm doing I can't help and it's wrong and I need it that I mean that nobody would be able to do what I'm doing and not fall down and he says it was what I chose to do as some sort of asinine weasel program and it's true and it doesn't work and people are trying to say it doesn't so I decided to do it it's my problem and it is too I'm supposed to be good at writing and having other people get in trouble and it didn't work and they can see me and they're using me as a code person and what I would say and stuff and getting rid of my people and taking the money I started to see something this is what's going on it's really not helpful it doesn't work I'm stuck doing it and I'll keep doing it and yeah they're going to kill me tonight finally I'll be gone I sort of see that people hate me I have to say something I don't do what I used to and I'm not going to because I got injured and that's not who I am anymore

Trump

Those are good lines we have a bunch of people like you who have gotten wounded a lot and they're these hardened criminals and they don't want to listen to anything they don't want to heal don't want to learn and you are past it you've been messing up everything for years Trump it's time that people took a stand I want you to go to trial for this January 6th too and I start pushing for it ability the master criminal Billy z is going to push forward too Mac Daddy and others and the max want you on trial and he says you better hurry up cuz he's going to leave and it's true too you need to make that happen we need you gone you're a piece of s***

Bja

[uboat53]

You know, with the results still being counted it's impossible to know for sure who will control the House or the Senate in two months, but one thing we do know for sure is that they will not feature the large Republican majorities that had been predicted before the election and I think that that should be credited in large part to President Biden, though not for the reasons that he would probably like. You see, it's because he's thoroughly uninspiring.

What do I mean by that? Look, I'm old enough to have voted in every Presidential election since 2004 and to remember elections all the way back to 1996 and one thing that has been fairly consistent in all of them is that the core supporters of the President have been genuinely inspired by them. I don't mean that in the sense of "yeah, he's a cool guy", I mean that in the sense of "I trust this person and think that they're going to make the world better". This was true of Trump, Obama, Bush Jr., and Clinton.

But it's not true of Biden. His core supporters, women, minorities, and young people, don't idolize him. In fact, to some degree they don't even fully trust him. To a much larger degree than any other President in my lifetime, Biden's core supporters do not believe that he alone will fix their problems.

And I remember this problem! I was one of those young people who powered Obama's win in 2008. My friends were enamored with him; several who hadn't really had any interest in voting deliberately got involved in 2008 just to vote for him. But in 2010, when he wasn't on the ballot, they didn't show up. The same thing happened more or less in 2014, to Trump in 2018, to Bush in 2006, and to Clinton in 1994 (1998 and 2002 were weird years with some unusual events going on).

Gen-Z and younger Millennials (those aged 18-29) just did what my generation did not and I think it has a lot to do with the fact that Biden doesn't inspire the same kind of adulation and even hero-worship that previous Presidents have. Young people may be among his core supporters but they don't trust that he and he alone will solve all of their problems, especially not after the Dobbs ruling and his inability to stop so many states from instituting harsh abortion bans. And, because Biden didn't or couldn't inspire them to trust that he would do everything for them, they turned out to vote because they felt that they had to do it themselves.

I think it's also important to recognize how rare this kind of youth engagement is. Going back in the data to the early 1970s when 18-20 year olds were first allowed to vote, 2022 has the second highest youth participation rate for a midterm election, second only to 2018. That said, the key battleground states saw even higher youth participation, on par with 2018. In other words, the young people are turning out to vote in even greater numbers when it matters most.

Personally, I think it's great. As an elder/geriatric Millennial, I remember how quickly Obama was kneecapped in his first term because those who had voted for him didn't keep turning out when it was needed. Seeing the younger generation overcome that today is fantastic and I hope it leads to a civically involved generation that keeps this kind of engagement up for their whole lives. Honestly the largest problem with American democracy these days is the amount of people who are unengaged and if a new generation can breathe new life into it I'll celebrate that!

So congratulations to Gen-Z and the younger Millennials for avoiding the trap that my generation fell into. May you continue to choose competent but uninspiring leaders in the future and keep for yourselves the task of preserving democracy.

[sly-merlin]

KILLING ME - 12 |n.y

pairing : law student!reader + yuta

genre :    angst , mafia au/ arranged marriage au.

warnings of this chapter : mentions of blood and brutality. For future chapters, major character death(s).

words : 

summary : “life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can . it is the only secret for living a regretless life.”                                  

or              

“  curiousity got the cat hitched”

K.M masterlist

A/n : this was supposed to be a longer chapter. The Tumblr was bring problematic since three days. This is not how the chapter was supposed to end but i couldn't post anything longer than this so i had to make changes to end it on a surprise tone like other chapters. I hope you still enjoy it.

Was he asking for too much?

His unsteady hand rose and fell, internal monologue stopping him from knocking on the door. Johnny wasn't sure how he even ended up outside taeyong's door. One second he was fighting with his thoughts and the next second he found himself jumping out of his car, almost ready to confront the person behind the door. 

He took a deep breath and was about to drum the wood when the door opened from inside, taeyong's sleepy figure greeting him instantly.

"John. Why are you here so late? Do you need something?"  from red pressed strikes on taeyong’s face, anyone would have guessed that he had been sleeping.

“Johnny! I’m talking to you.” he waved his hand in front of johnny’s distracted eyes.

“Huh” 

“Do you want something?”

“y/n.”

Your life was back on the wagon. Not truly but with a few exceptions here and there, it certainly felt like the old days. You were in chois on weekdays and took tuitions on the weekends. You met your friends while visiting the library and everything felt quite normal. Even with a few oddities, that being the five day training sessions with Jungwoo, some new people in your life, a residence that you felt happy coming back to, absence of someone that you’d never grown a liking for, everything was smooth. Just like before. The only thing you missed was some time. Time for yourself. Though you lived alone, which was a luxury nearing its end, you barely got a few minutes alone with your mind and that was something you craved more than the drink shoved in your hand at the moment. 

You loved your friends, without any doubt, but they lived with the bad habit of disregarding your feelings, feelings that said you would be anywhere but the restaurant you were sitting in. 

“y/n is going into hibernation again.” minjun’s voice broke your trance.

“What did you say?" You challenged him but he cowered in his seat and turned his focus on the soggy french fries instead. When he silenced, yugyeom spoke up, 

“Yo y/n. Don’t scare the child. Just drink away your sorrows. The wine is quite expensive here. If you are making me pay then at least make it worth it."

Suddenly, Jungkook's loud snorting caught everyone's attention as they all quietened, waiting for him to reveal the reasons for his action. Swirling his burgundy glass, he chugged the last bit of the drink before leaning backwards in his chair, relaxing himself.

"Now what's the drama with You" Yeong grumbled, clearly intoxicated. 

"She's already hammered" minjun giggled. 

"When are you going to invite us to your house y/n?" Jungkook chimed in, a smirk plastered on his blushed face. 

"Oh yes. Ms. Lawyer no more l-lives i-in the d-dorms." Yeong hiccupped, losing the grip on the bottle of soju. Yugyeom chuckled at her antics before snatching the bottle away to avoid any fuss.

"I also meant to ask you but you are never available for more than an hour or so. Are you doing alright" gyeom shifted his chair towards you while keeping a hand on his girlfriend's back.

You didn't know how to reply or what to trump up so they'd stop pestering you. However, you had no other choice than to continue with the streak you had started a few months ago.

"Of course i want to have you there but my roommate is very, how to explain, very bitchy. He got this corporate job and he-he works from home so I'm supposed to pretend like I do not exist and keep quiet. That includes no outsiders as well. It's gonna be like this for a few months i guess"

You mumbled the last part.

 You averted your eyes but didn't mean you could've escaped their intense judgemental gaze. You repeated the whole lie that you recited to arrange it in the box of deceit that you were filling since the commencement of these stories. Forgetting any of these would mean shattering their trust. And that was exactly what you were supposed to protect.

Once reiterated, you gathered how foolish the sentence was. Had it been said to you, there wasn't a chance of putting your belief in it. But your company was drunk enough to believe it; two of them were enough to carry the whole table.

"Wow. How horrible of him. We should take y/n with us yugy. She'd be happy and she can invite anyone." Yeong low-key let out a little drunk growl to press her point. 

Yugyeom cooed at her before replying,

"And where will you live? Our apartment has only two rooms and both are occupied. Where do you plan to settle down instead?"

His question made her think harder than she ever had in life as she picked at her jutted out lower lip. 

"Laundry room. You and me, will live in the laundry room because y/n needs a nice home."

"I already have a nice home yeongie." You took the opportunity, got up and reached out to pinch her cheeks, "but you won't know unless you are sober. Take her home, yugy. I'm also sleepy so I'll get going. See you on Tuesday." 

" It's already 11. Let me drop you home." Jungkook suggested, startling you.

"No It-

"Yeah you drop her. I'll take Yeong and minjun home but help me in carrying their asses to the car please." Yugyeom pleaded. He left the bills on the table and took Yeong in his arms. You expected jungkook to do the same but he passed minjun your shoulders instead,

"Wait for me outside. I have to call someone first." and he walked away, his lover grinning on your shoulder like it was the funniest thing in the world but you were fine as long as their drunken state saved you from some heavy confrontation. The only person left was jungkook and you had the perfect idea to dodge him as well. 

"So the same place or are you staying in the dorms this weekend?" He asked, driving out of the busy street.

"Just drop me at the nearest bus station. I'll ta-

"Nakamoto residence or the dorms y/n" you almost choked on the air as the word left his lips. Taking a bus home had seemed like the perfect plan but you had overvalued your common sense. Again.

"What are you talking about?" With hesitation evident in your voice, you muttered.

"Do you really think you'd go to a random house in front of me that I know nothing about and you'd be left alone without questions. I was there until the door was opened by someone. You really thought I'd have left you with a stranger. But i knew something was fishy when the receptionist told me that it's a home sweet home of Mr and Mrs nakamoto. Now spill before I get yugyeom to ask in his own way." He shifted the gears in frustration, your relaxed persona bothering him to no end. Getting jungkook wokred up wasn't a grunt work. He was like a matchstick, always ready to be ignited by any possible frictional surface. 

"It's not what you are thin-

"Don't lie please," he started, words dangerously polite, "If he's your boyfriend then there's no need to hide y/n. We would always be there to support you. When, how, why, i don't want you to feel pressured to answer me. Just because you go around with no commitment tag doesn't mean we'd judge you if you ever got in a relationship. We love you. Make us part of your life like we do. Can't we just expect that much." 

You gulped at how disappointed he sounded. He was right. You needed to include them in your life adventures but how were you supposed to explain him the riots you were dealing with. How were you supposed to spill everything without him getting his sword out. That would only lead to more troubles than you had the power to deal with. Trouble for you, him and for everyone who'd be passed that secrecy. 

So you begged, for some more time until you'd be more than comfortable to let all of them into your present life. 

Like every other word, this was also a lie that, in the first place,  you never chose to proceed with. 

He might have give in to you, but you knew eventually you'd have to muster up the courage to answer him and that day would decide another turn of your future. 

And you would make sure, inter alia, to shift the wheels in a more likeable direction.

“Use your fists!” 

Jungwoo’s grip was strong. His one arm was holding your waist and the other was around your neck. It was painful but you knew he wasn’t going to let go easily this time. This was the third consecutive scuffle or demo fight with him within the span of the last forty five minutes and having lost the last two, awfully at that, expectation of some mercy was not very demanding on your part. But only if he would grant that! You heard his chuckle as you wriggled in his hold. He was clearly having a lot more fun than you were. There was no way you could’ve applied renjun and hyuck’s advice but you still tried to follow their vague instructions.

“Bit his arm and turn.”

“No, don’t. Turn around and hit his torso with your knees.” 

Bit him?

Halting your movements, a low grunt left your lips as you lowered your body and pressed your teeth on his flesh. He screeched and immediately retracted his arm. Taking advantage of his loosened grip on your waist, you whirled around and raised your knee to strike at his upper body. In an instant, your hands fell on your knees and you inhaled a harsh breath, regaining your strength. Jungwoo, on the other hand, was curled up on the floor like a baby. You wanted to laugh at him but the more astonishing thing was the lack of any noise from your cheerleaders. Right from the start, they were rooting for you like you were earning them some hard cash and now that you had done exactly what they had wanted, they were silent. 

“Wha-

you opened your mouth to speak but their lack of attention held you back. Their eyes were fixed at Jungwoo,who still laid where he had landed. 

“What did you do?” renjun shrieked.

“Exactly what you told me to!” you replied with heavy breathing.

“We said torso!”

“Yes and i hi-

Mechanically your hand slapped your face as you noticed the position of jungwoo’s hands. You had, mistakenly, kicked him in the groin which only meant more trouble for you. 

“Save me.” you mouthed to hyuck and renjun while approaching jungwoo. 

“Sorry teacher.” you mumbled.

He remained quiet for a few seconds and didn’t make any movement. When he did, you took a few steps back, afraid of his wrath. Palms down on the mat, he sat up and with painfully quiet voice spoke up,

“Looks like you won. Good j-job. I think i need to visit the medical room. You can go and celebrate.”

“Does it pain too much” pointing to his crotch and averting your eyes, you asked.

“No. not at all but i might need to adopt your kids someday. You know if i can’t make my own.” 

“Sorry” you cried.

“Dismissed.” his civil tone, probably due to the ache, glued you in the position.

When you didn't move, donghyuck came, took you by your arm and guided you for the door.

"He's just being dramatic. Just chill. Another hit and he'd be good to go." He giggled and was soon joined by renjun as well, who was now crouching down in front of jungwoo. 

"You sure?"

"If he doesn't then you can always give him your baby. Ofcourse after asking your husband." Only after he rambled, he realised what he had actually said. His face screamed surprise. To save him from spiralling into deep shame, you eased him by cutting off his apology,

"Ew hyuck. Give him one of yours if you want. Don't come for mine!" And you exited the door.

You were halfway through the basement when you realised the lack of your device. Running back, you were about to shout when you overheard their gossip.

"No, I'm telling you she meant to injure me so i won't teach her anymore or this might be the revenge of all the weapon training. Her knee is stronger than jeno's punch. Don't laugh at me you shits."

Jungwoo was whining. 

"Haha. Yeah ok. But i told you renjun, she's physically stronger than her. Kind of totally opposite." Hyuck's voice quietened at the end but before he could speak further, you interrupted,

"Like who hyuck?"

Their faces went blank at your question and the reason of sudden heaviness in the air was beyond your contemplation. 

"You don't want to answer? Fine. Maybe it's not my place to question." You simply stated before circling the mat to pick up your phone from the chair.

"No. It's not li-

"It's fine hyuck. Chill." You shrugged and walked away, deciding against pestering them for information that they clearly felt too uncomfortable to share. 

"You need a fucking lock on your bloody mouth." was the last thing you heard before they were out of your hearing.

What was the need to ask something when you knew you won't ever get an answer out of them. Everyone was beyond friendly with you but still, there were some borders that nobody dared to cross. Maybe the mention of that woman was one of them. Fear of some unknown ghost of embarrassment was swallowing you whole when you heard grunts. Loud ones. You were still in the basement, the scuffle center being at the far end. The stairs were in front of you. The  snarls and growls were coming from the other end of the basement. The election wasn't hard and you didn't want to give in to your curiosity but you did. Your feet, not cooperating with the voice in the back of your head that told you to turn away, took you ahead in the direction of the noise. Though the residence consisted of only one plot but the basement covered two. Unknown to everyone, the house next to B.N was also their property and it was only utilised for the underground space. Hence the never ending lane and the countless closed metal doors.

The echo got louder with each step you took. It’s been more than a month since you were visiting the basement but those noises had never crossed through you until today. The end doors were forbidden for you, according to what you were told but now that you were exposed to it, there was no chance of ignoring. No prudent person would ever overlook such a thing. That was the justification you were repeating as you took baby steps.

All the doors were closed except one at the very far end. You thought about peaking inside then halted as if your conscious called you. The whimpers also stopped for a minute or so but your heart skipped a few beats when a collision following with painful shriek reverberated in the empty space. The door, slightly ajar, was just a few strides away but you were too startled to even back away from your position. Same pattern of hit and shouts continued again. Unaware of the happenings, you stood there as If you were waiting for someone to separate you from the concrete beneath your feet.

Adding to your distress, the metal door opened abruptly and you realised, you were again at a place where you weren't meant to be.

"What are you doing here?" Jaehyun's growl broke you out of the unconscious state you had fell into. Mechanically, you eyes roamed across him to notice a body lying on the table inside the room, strained cries escaping his lips. The limp body was enough to put two and two together to conclude that he was being tortured. He was a victim of jaehyun's wrath. 

"I asked what ar-

"Y/N!" he picked up his hand to touch your shoulders but you distanced yourself when you noticed the stains covering his clothing and hands, the blood red prominently visible even under the low light. 

His gaze caught yours in time and his eyes softened noticing the fear in your body. 

Very slowly, he reached out for you but immediately stopped, taking a note of your quivering lip.

"Hey. It-its not blood. I ca-can explai- Y/N!" 

The yells of your name covered the whole arena as you rushed away, leaving a dazed jaehyun behind.

"Who was it jae?" 

Jaehyun saw your trembling figure diminishing while you ran away from him as if you were disgusted by him. Not that he expected any other reaction, some good time has passed since someone innocent had came across their work. To say the least, it was never pleasant to have someone witness their harsh manners.

"JAE!"

"Y/n. She saw the body and also the blood."

He mumbled to ten whose visage, upon hearing, instantly mirrored jaehyun's.

"What about him?" Ten pointed to the man, "he's not speaking shit"

"Finish him off if you want. I need to handle something else now"

You raced as fast as you could have. You had never thought of yourself as a weak person but the sight was gruesome to just disregard and walk off. With shaking legs, you finally made it upstairs but the ringing, only became more earsplitting. Your hand harshly rubbed at your chest as you tried to defuse the tension bubbling in your whole body. After what felt like minutes, you covered your ears as if it would stop the ringing. It certainly did not but surprisingly it was muffled. You removed your hands and the blaring returned again. But this time, you laboured yourself to look into your surroundings. You saw chenle, jisung, jaemin running back and forth from the kitchen while doyoung seemed to be scolding jeno for something. Few others were also there, cleaning the couches and spraying some fragrance in the air. Everyone seemed to be their own turmoil, origin was which was yet to be known.

That's when it hit you. Maybe your ears weren't booming due to fright. 

"Chenle"you screamed at the passing boy, "do you hear this sound?" You pointed your fingers in the air to exaggerate your point. He merely nodded before he went past you and the very next second the noise was reduced to mere buzzing. You inhaled sharply to regulate your heartbeat but failed due to the ruckus  that enclosed you. Suddenly jaemin emerged, 

"Why are you so disheveled? Go and change from these workout clothes. Uncle is outside. Didn't you hear the alarm." Only Half of his words entered your head and before you could come to your senses, you were interrupted again.

"Y/n my girl!" Whipping your head, you saw a familiar figure entering the threshold. 

An old man that you surely had seen somewhere. 

His voice was a lot stronger than his aged body which he was dragging along with the help of a walking stick. 

Jaemin nudged you to greet him and you complied as soon as could have in your current state. Only when you got closer, you realised he was the same man you had met in the office celebration. You haven't seen him since then but he looked significantly weaker than before. Even with dark circles present, his face still was still shining with the smile he wore as he staggered inside. 

"How's life treating you my kid" he asked, patting the empty space on the couch. You took the seat and replied in a small voice,

"I'm good. Everything is nice." 

"Why am I smelling Jasmines this late in the evening?" He sniffed the air and galred at doyoung, " Do you take me for a fool? One thing! Cleaning. that is the only thing i ask of you. There are- how many of you are present since the morning. Answer me doyoung." 

The man barked and doyoung muttered a sheepish apology, his head dropping with shame. 

"Each one of you is nonsense. If you'd just clean up your stink once in a while, you'd save your money on the thousands of spray bottles you buy every month. But you thick heads only know how to shoot and punch. Now get me a glass of water before i die of this fake flowery smell"

He shouted like he owned the place and Maybe he did. Your mind and heart were not aligned up to comprehend the simple scenario that took place before you, the dizziness coming and going with intervals.

Then you were called again. 

Looking at your right, your saw jaehyun standing, his face ridden of any colour.

You noticed his new shirt. There was no blood on it. His hands were also cleaned and you were stunned at how quickly your eyes were running on his body to find any trace of what you saw in the basement a few minutes ago.

"y/n, i need to talk to you" 

For the first time, jaehyun's words were directed towards you without any poison in them. 

You still didn't wish to face him so you moved yourself to face the old man.

"Y/n ple-

"Now you don't even greet your own father jung jaehyun."

He spoke with a steadier and louder voice that felt like it was only meant for jaehyun. The contrast in his tone was striking. 

He was jaehyun's father.

"Sorry dad. I have something imp-

"I called you in the morning to inform yuta and taeil and yet i do not see anyone here. Do i need to die for you to respect me!"

You couldn't believe your ears when jaehyun answered in shuddering tone. 

"Yu-yuta is not here." 

He sounded like a child responding to his teacher, scared of some evaluation.

"Then call him."

"I mean he's away on business dad."

"Civil?"

It was like hearing Morse code.

"No."

"You sent him on a target place?"

"No. He's in Nice to collect information."

"Wow. Can you please clap your back for breaking the only sacred rule this family lives by?"

The silence in the extremely large living room was suffocating. This time, except you, everyone else was scared. And it still wasn't of any help.

"How dare you send a family man away on anything remotely dangerous. I thought you all were careful after taeil's incident but no. Nobody cares enough t-

Before he could complete, shaky coughs engulfed his body. Somehow, jaehyun grabbed him the moment he was about to fall from the couch. Doyoung ran for the kitchen while xiaojun, who was always too swift in his movements, came to the living room with a medical box.

You weren't sure what was happening with him or why he was being treated like some high mighty force or why he was so adamant on bringing yuta back but you could only pray that his wish won't be granted.

You weren't cruel but you were sure he'd be able to survive without that piece of shit roaming around.

You couldn't lose the few weeks you had without him.

Taeyong hands clutched yours like his life depended on you.

"Please please please y/n. It's been over a month since he's gone. I never withdraw from a deal. But this is an emergency. Uncle doesn't know you both were forced. He is a soft and weak hearted man. We cannot afford to tell him anything like this and clearly this would be seen as a betrayal to him. You both are nothing like what he's told but he doesn't need to need. He's the only father figure we have. Please just this time. I promise I won't ask anything from you after this. You do not need to live with him. he'd be here until two months are over. Please."

You lifted your brow at his last sentence and liberated your hands from his, feeling his trembling fingers. 

"I don't see the need to lie anymore, taeyong. You can tell him the truth and be over with it. If he has jaehyun as a son, he must be used to hearing blatant lies. This won't be the only one, I'm sure of that." Crossing your arms, you coldly said.

"I know you hate me but please y/n. You know how it is to lose the only family member you have. We have no one besides him. Never had anyone before him. The least we can do is keep him happy until it's too late. Please. Just this time."

Gobbling down each word, you merely nodded at him. If it weren't for his glossy eyes, you'd have threw up on him right after the first pleading but you weren't heartless like him. He was right. You knew how it felt to lose your loved ones, a fate you would never wish upon anyone. Not even the person you despised the most.

"Thank you. I owe you this one kiddo." He hugged you and you pushed him away. 

"Let me call him."

"Yuta!"

"Hmm"

"You need to come back immediately "

Taeyong spoke with urgency.

"Nope. I still have Three weeks and two days left." You heard his non-chalant words through the speaker.

"Yuta it's abou-

"Sorry I'm busy with my french girls. Call you later and please forget to take care of yourself."

And he hung up. 

A smirk formed on your face watching the grim expressions of taeyong.

"Good luck convincing him and while you are going to explain him the difference between the French girls and the French monkeys he has mistaken as women, why don't you explain me what exactly jaehyun does in that other end of the basement. I love some good stories, taeyong. So let's hear how good of a storyteller are you!"

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[tarotnoob]

Hello! Thank you so much for your answer :) So, since the beginning of quarantine, I was studying to apply to college. Partly bc of covid, my life during this time was pretty boring. My study motivation was mostly "hey, once I'm IN college, I will start finally living cool stuff again - I will find new, supportive and strong connections and learn about subjects that I love!". It's also worth mentioning that I never had much freedom to go out (alone or with friends) before when i was a minor. So, to summarize, I had high expectations of college: I would make new connections, socialize a lot, and (later, when the pandemic situation decrease and we're all vaccinated) conquer my independence by moving to another city to take face-to-face classes.

So, I was accepted into my chosen college and I was mostly relieved that this waiting time was finally OVER. No more daydreaming, my best life starts now!!!!! Right?

Wrong 🤭

I mean, jokes aside, it's not really bad. I met (online, of course) cool people and I'm doing well in all my classes. But... yeah. It's just not as "good" as expected - everything is a little bit shallow. But I know that, as you said, lots of people are going through the same; things will get better eventually and this is just impatience taking over. It's just that it is a lit bit frustrating feeling exactly like 6 months ago, just doing my studying and wishing I could skip to the part where things **finally** get really exciting

So, thank you so much for the advice! It's really easy for me to get focused on dissatisfaction, even though, like you said, this is a pretty stable moment. Nothing bad is going on, but I still find it hard to just focus and live in the present, day after day. Btw, you mentioned that I can "change what's inside" and I think that really applies here - I should take this "waiting time" to improve and take better care of myself. Maybe it's also a lesson of some type.

Other than that, your *edit* actually made me jump lol See, my university said that we're only going back to face-to-face classes once things are safe. Our state government is pressuring them to do it by the end of next month, when all adults should be vaccinated. So, while I'm excited to move to another place and start fresh, I don't feel THAT ready to do it so soon as in September...........

Anyway, thank you so much again for your time, advice, and energy. Take care and keep being so talented!!!!

You know, not that I pay attention to news anymore - I mean I REALLY stopped watching news bc of Donald Trump - but no one seems to really talk about the affect covid had on people going to high school college during that time where they're missing out on that social interaction everyone else got to have pre-covid. And it's fine to say "eveRYone is BEing AFFected" but like it's okay and valid for each person to say it sucked for them. Losing a year or two out of my life is pretty shit bc I'd like to, I dunno, meet someone, which is pretty hard to do when you can't go out and hate dating apps.

I have a niece who was born about four months before covid and she is so under socialized that she doesn't like to be held by family.

I think it's easy to have had expectations and over the past two years for them to not be met - but the good news is I think it can really get better from here out. Even after I got (and my family got) vaccinated, we still wore our masks, specifically me bc I like to rub stuff in people's faces when they aren't wearing them... but one day I was like fuck this and I don't usually wear mine and even though I'm still adjusting to being in public and not glaring at anyone that comes within a few feet of me... it's better. I don't fully remember exactly what it was like to NOT think about covid but... I mean it's better. It's a small improvement, and your situation will improve little by little until a few years from now you won't even remember what it felt like to be so isolated... I don't want to say it's unfortunate that you haven't been given room to do whatever bc... I dunno... it's not a good feeling but it's common and it's to keep you safe ig which when you're used to being "sheltered" ofc it's going to be weird when you actually have to move and take care of yourself. I cried the day my parents dropped me off and I didn't even like living at home and I was about 4 hours away, in another state. You get used to anything, humans are so good at adapting to stuff. I was looking at the meanings of 7 of cups and 3 of p according to that guidebook and it was kind of like... well obviously head in the clouds expectations and 3 of p is just working on skills and stuff so I guess that makes sense and just shows your dissatisfaction and then I eventually - after i posted - clarified the king of p and it was like ace of swords which ironically has a fist that looks like the one I was obsessed about in 7 of cups. Ofc I have no thoughts on what it means... I guess it could be freedom, stability, inspiration, epiphanies... but I mean I think the tarot are a weird psychological tool that can stir up things we already know so we can sort of analyze what's going on...

but i think if stagnancy doesn't feel so great, that change will be like a breath of fresh air and change is sort of... essential anyway, you can't really fight it and it brings new things and growth is probably better than just sitting there and being 40% dissatisfied.

I think you'll do well and like the freedom though be careful bc all of the people i knew who were sort of "sheltered" in high school went nutso in college lol. I mean as in tried a bit of everything they weren't allowed >.> keep an open mind. I think it'll be really great after the awkwardness of adjustment... it's better than sitting in your house with fam tho haha. thanks for providing feedback!

[goopgirlie813]

Ah my bad. Historical info would probably be most relevant because I don't fully understand why IP is so important to the US economy or how it functions.

I disagree with your claim that the LGBT movement is failing. Struggling a bit and not being as effective as it should, but not failing. What I am seeing is wider and wider acceptance of more complex identities and experiences, allowing people to be more free. There is just one major problem with the movement in my eyes: Queer activists, especial social media "keyboard warrior" types, have spent too much effort trying to appease opponents by making concessions to the status quo to the point that many the public understandings of many queer identities and concepts have become incoherent and near impossible to defend. A big part of this is performative activists talking over educated queer advocates.

Despite this, though, I have seen more acceptance of various Queer identities. At least in my personal life. The coherent stuff is making it through the bullshit, albiet not as effectively as I would hope. The community does need better organizing that is for sure. But advocating for acceptance is not the problem; poor communication and performative activism are. At least, thats how I see it.

And as for the younger conservatives becoming more anti-queer, I think that has more to do with general political polarization than anything else. Because Queer issues are a big topic, the community gets held up by political groups as a rhetorical device to gain support. A huge chunk of the Republican party has made their platform one of demonizing queer people; convincing voters that we are evil and dangerous and that they -these "sensible" politicians- will solve the problem and protect Americans. Young conservatives aren't turning against us because we did something wrong by advocating for acceptance, they're turning against us because there is a massive right wing propaganda campaign to make us the villains and we have failed to organize against it with an effective counter campaign.

Thanks for the clarification on what you meant by socialism. I don't really want to get into that right now because trying to address those claims always turns into a long winded discussion that I don't have the energy for right now. But I'll just say that I don't see that version of socialism the same way you do and I also don't see it as a bad thing. Agree to disagree because I don't have the time and we'll leave it at that.

Yeah the Obama thing was my bad. I misunderstood how things went down and somehow came to the conclusion that it was a law passed and not a law interpreted. That said, what did Obama do that was problematic? In regards to queer people, that is.

Still skeptical about Trump because he isn't really known for his honesty. Him simply saying he's fine with queer people doesn't convince me. I mean, I have family members who fully believe they're "completely fine" with the lgbt community but repeat some of the most blatantly prejudiced rhetoric against trans people especially (an important topic to me because 90% of my friend group, one of my siblings, and my spouse are trans).

I Also have encountered a significant number of Trump supporters who have the opposite belief of what you're claiming. Numerous times Maga people have come to me or other queer folks saying they can't wait until Trump wins so he will "get rid of us." Probably mostly trolls but still, if his position is vague enough that people can be completely convinced of two completely contractory versions of his stance I don't have much confidence in your claim that he is exceptionally pro-lgbt in any meaningful way. If Trump hasn't actively done anything to benefit or even show meaningful support to the lgbt community I'm gonna have to maintain my skepticism toward your claim.

[migleefulmoments]

I am a fan of Wentworth, and he was saying he wasn't gay in almost every interview at the time (before anyone read anything in that statement I'm not insinuating anything about D, just so we're clear). He didn't evade the question, he was stating "I'm not gay". Now when we were watching him (and of his own accord), the closeting had tremendous effect on his mental health.

There is an importance difference between “I’m not gay” and “I’m straight”. Gay men and women questioning their sexuality have often said “I'm not gay” but nobody says “I’m straight” and then walks that back. Darren has said it hundreds of time over 9 years.  Sexual identity is determined by the individual and nobody else. Darren has been very clear that he identifies as straight. He has said it point blank many times, he has lived his life in a manner consistent with a straight man- he married a woman he dated for 8 years, he’s never dated a man that we know of- and the ccers have looked- and he has never insinuated he is attracted to men, even in a joke. There is nothing to suggest he is gay accept a group of fans who cannot let it go. This got long so ....

Wentworth has never talked about closeting being something that was forced on him by the show runner or in a contract form. His experience was like everyone else- the reality that LGBTQ actors get less work, are typecast as gay characters-which up until a handful of shows like Glee, Will and Grace, The L-Word and  Queer as Folks, most gay characters where side kick, buddies, comic relief. There were other shows with gay characters but not many.  It is changing, but when Wentworth was struggling, it was still scandalous to come out- they still had to do the big People cover stories claiming “I’m Gay”. Work was hard to find- so everyone giving gay actors advice to stay in the closet were giving good career advice. The problem is that they didn’t understand the mental health implications of this kind of pressure, they didn’t appreciate the struggle to be true to oneself and they seem to have lacked basic of compassion. Most of the actors who have talked about the pressure, also talk about their own struggle with accepting their sexuality and how that mixed in with the pressure to stay in the closet coming from their managers and casting directors. Coming out is not a one-size-fits-all process, it is a complicated, very personal experience that is affected by one’s upbringing, religion, whether there is family and/or friend support, and one’s own mental health status. All of those factors impact coming out but now add in “under the world spotlight” and “impacts your ability to earn a wage” and that gets much more complicated.  

Several actors and singers have talked about being outed and the horror of being forced to talk about their sexuality way before they were ready. Some weren’t even ready to face their sexuality themselves and were forced to when people kept bringing it up. Whether they were outed by the media, by coworkers, by fans or a combination, these are all deeply disturbing stories of depression and anxiety brought on by being outed. 

The problem with the cc trope is that the reality isn’t as simple as Abbu’s theory that one person pushed an actor inside the closet and locked it with a signed, never-ending, legally binding contract. In fact, cc theory is a simple, 1-dimensional look at what really goes on with LGBTQ performers and the closet. It is simply a prop in the CrissColfer fantasy that is used to further their “proof” but it is not based on the reality of what is happening in Hollywood, it discounts the individual’s struggle to be accepted and to accept themselves, to come out and be safe and earn a wage. The ccers out Darren daily with no remorse. They ignore the stories being told by actors who struggle after being outed and they fixate on their fantasy that “Darren wants them to out him”. Nobody ever wants to be outed.   

Closeting in Hollywood isn’t based simply a misconception held by casting directors and managers who are out-of-touch with the times. As a society, we-and by we I mean ccers- still label people as gay based on effeminate behavior and gay kids are being threatened and bullied at school at an alarming rate. Gay kids are still committing suicide. The problem is much deeper than Hollywood. We are making changes but they are slow and the Trump administration and Mike Pence are trying to turn things back to 1950. They just barred transgender troops and have fought to end the rights that Obama administration gave to protect trans kids in school. 

The cc fandom needs actually read the interview and quotes they post because the people aren’t saying what the cc fandom are hearing. They cherry-pick quotes to highlight and ignore the stuff that disproves their 1-dimensional theories.  Today Valentinaheart posted and Abby reblogged (Bold is theirs) : 

Garrett Clayton made headlines when he came out as gay back in August.

It followed years of unfair speculation from both the public and the media – many of whom pressured him to come out when he wasn’t ready – and closed out a chapter of the actor’s life that saw him hide his true self in the public eye.

Now, in his first interview since coming out as gay, the former Disney star tells Gay Times he “finally feels comfortable” with his sexuality – but there was a time that the homophobia he experienced in Hollywood pushed him further into the closet.

“One of the first things somebody who was instrumental in starting my career did, they sat me down and they said, ‘Are you gay?’ And I could feel the pressure of the question, so I was like, ‘Yeah, I’m gay, or bi, or whatever’, because suddenly I could feel that there was something wrong with that in this person’s eyes,” he says.

“They looked at me and said, ‘No one wants to fuck the gay guy, they want to go shopping with him, so we’re going to have to figure this out.’ It turned into this situation where I’d get calls and they’d say, ‘You still need to butch it up’. I literally had to change everything about myself at that point, otherwise I was never gonna make it.

“And that was so conflicting, because here’s somebody offering you your dream, but they’re telling you that you’re not good enough the way you are. You’re talented, but who you are isn’t good enough.”

Unfortunately, this insidious homophobia was something that continued long into Garrett’s career.

“They had me changing the way I walked, the way I spoke, the way I dressed, the way I answered questions,” he continues. “It got as petty as them saying, ‘People need to see that you’re into sports because they’ll think that’s more masculine, so why don’t you go buy a sports hat, take some pictures in it, and make sure people see you in it’.

“There’d be calls after I went into casting offices like, ‘Hey, this is how gay casting thought you came across today, so here’s what you need to do to fix it’. I even had cast members screaming drunkenly in the middle of a room, ‘Who here thinks Garrett is gay?’ and then yelling at me for not having come out yet.”

It felt “like being back in high school” for the aspiring actor, and the self-suffocation prescribed by those around him inevitably took its toll, leading to a period of reclusive behaviour and depression and, ultimately, therapy.

“I convinced myself that I was the problem, and I got into a really dark place for a couple of years. Then I went to therapy for about a year and a half to really sort through all the things I went through growing up and the situations I found myself in while in Hollywood. I got to work through all those conflicting things.”

The second paragraph was not in bold and yet says a lot to a fandom who outs Darren on the daily: It followed years of unfair speculation from both the public and the media – many of whom pressured him to come out when he wasn’t ready – and closed out a chapter of the actor’s life that saw him hide his true self in the public eye

The article says that

  “...but there was a time that the homophobia he experienced in Hollywood pushed him further into the closet”

Interestingly, they did bold this section which could have directed at them

I even had cast members screaming drunkenly in the middle of a room, ‘Who here thinks Garrett is gay?’ and then yelling at me for not having come out yet.”.

How can they not see they are the cast members yelling “are you out yet’?

It felt “like being back in high school” for the aspiring actor, and the self-suffocation prescribed by those around him inevitably took its toll, leading to a period of reclusive behavior and depression and, ultimately, therapy.

So, the taunting and outing took its tole and lead to depression? Hmmm.... they never listen to what their posterboys are saying. 

[coolcarsntrucksngunsnusa]

Well... I CARE.

I am a Navy veteran. I was also a DoD employee for the USAF as an instructor, so yes, I was a federal worker. I was under the mandate to take the Covid jab but I stood against it, as did a few others. I was fortunate to work in a southern state which has a lot of conservatives so they worked with us. We had to take the stupid swab test each Monday and if negative for Covid, no worries. That lasted a month then we quit worrying about it. I know others across America were not so fortunate and lost jobs. That mandate was flat-out tyrannical.

I am a Trump supporter, I voted for him and approve of most of what he's doing - except for the mass firing of Americans from their jobs without gauging or vetting what those workers are doing. Yes, the federal government FAT and needs cuts - but they are ALL AMERICANS.

We are supposed to be a Christian nation and yet I see so-called Christians gloating and mocking and just being downright MEAN and UN-CHRISTLIKE.

If you're one of those then you need to go back and read the words of Jesus. I'm not going to quote Scripture because you, the supposed Christian, should already know.

Some will attack me and block me, some will be anti-Trumpers that will attack me and gloat with "voter's regret" but I don't care because I answer to GOD alone. Besides, the alternative to Trump would be more sexual deviancy and evil attacks on children, more illegal aliens flooding our country and we being pulled into a bloodbath in the Middle East and Ukraine. I do not have voter's regret per se but the mass layoffs with no oversight is wrong.

Example: I have a friend that is still a USAF instructor, a veteran. His wife is an RN. She worked at the large military rest home on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. She got laid off from the purge. She TOOK CARE OF VETERANS. No oversight, no vetting, no checking to see if she was valuable. Oh no, she was a "loathsome federal worker." Shame on those that gloat.

That all said, Christians are supposed to love others. How can you call yourself a Christian and an American and laugh at the misfortunes of fellow Americans? Yeah, I understand the anger against Democrats with all their lawlessness, treason and bullying and sexual immorality. I had the anger. I still do, but I want JUSTICE. We are supposed to be a nation of LAW. May we not forget that.

We are not to HATE if we call ourselves followers of Jesus - Christians.

Proverbs 24:17-18

"Do not rejoice when your enemy falls,

And do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles;

Lest the LORD see it, and it displease Him,

And He turn away His wrath from him."

People need to repent and turn away from their sins so God can heal our land. And laughing at their "perceived" enemies is displeasing the Lord. After Trump leaves, God may bring such misery upon Conservatives who are supposed to be the Godly people and laughing at people. God may strengthen their enemies and not get in the way of their deviltry. I pray for Christians who say they're Christians but don't live it.

[the-firebird69]

It's John remillard again following me and it's illegal Missouri training order on him and his incognito so he thinks he's undetectable

Zues Hera

He's a piece of s*** and he keeps doing it and he is unrelenting and we are going to hand him his walking papers if he refuses we're going to start digging into him and we're going to do it momentarily so I can dig into him tonight and use it as cover

Thor Freya

He's going to start taking pictures of him wherever he shows up and he's going to point out who he is right there he's sitting there threatening him saying he has some sort of disease and it's about our friend here and he's obnoxious he's a rude m*********** and his sister saying it over and over and he ends up in the ditch and his buddies come by sooner than them and walking by with a clear bag saying they're going to put his hand in it I mean this is the kind of s*** that you hear out here that the s*** head is getting beat up because he says it to other people they're saying that it's covered pretty soon they'll be gone and they're repulsive and tell you they've got really stupid s*** and in their heads. Of their areas and they're putting on this kind of an asinine talk show and people can see what it is of our kind he says a lot of his read the hand signals and can see it and he reads some of them and you can tell he's doing it cuz the guy just starts saying it but I say is he said he's going to drop kick him and it stopped it and shouldn't so we're going after the piece of crap I'm actually very sick of this s*** they do it to everybody and they're in human and they keep doing it and it does nothing for them they're talking to the top and you're threatening and would not use to putting up with that s***

Mac Daddy

Look at it with this crap. A piece of s*** and you're dragging their daughter and granddaughter around telling them he's sick and they're sitting there watching him 24 hours a day to make sure he's not and they're going to get rid of you and you're a piece of s***

Sarah

I don't have any time for this you can't publish it I'm going to go through the motions I sort of see something people don't want me there I was there and I did stuff and it went backwards I swear to get something I was going to eat me alive I really don't care anymore so it's b******* it's my b******* and I can try it

Trump

No you can't and you won't survive if you do and we're licensed killers and you're not and they're coming around and picking your assholes up cuz you're here in the park being a dick and they're picking them up all over town and the county in Florida and the planet because you're a big mouth you can't live next door because you're violating the law and your abusing the landlord and you threatened his life tons of times and physically you might be able to get there but really you may not and if you get there you're a dead man as a matter of fact if you try and get there you're dead man as a matter of fact if you don't try and get there you're a dead man because it's already been ordained by the Max and approved by everybody else because you're a s******* attitude and stupid actions

Zues Hera

So that's saying it and he says that I haven't say it like everyday like it's something different than everyone else is saying it and I should have listened it's going to be over pretty soon and I guess we're like this whipping boy and I don't believe it cuz I hardly have anything compared to others no I have a whole bunch of stuff and yeah I guess I'm not doing much with it trying to go after the diamonds down below the ships it's not going anywhere he says part of it is I'm a big huge a****** to him and revoked all support and he pulled it globally and he's going after us instead of doing what we want with threats and taking our nukes down using them on us and other groups are doing it to mimic him and it came from him he says because I'm such a huge f****** a****** so I guess we got an argument here I started it says you started a long time ago and you're a piece of s*** and you ain't going to make it and you're already three quarters dead and I do see that probably not and who would with your intelligence level in the first place so I guess I'm going to keep on blabbing about it and it won't make a damn difference and it says of course not you look like an a****** down here you look like an a****** in the news and foreigners are going after you cuz you look like a weak piece of s*** starting to understand something I started in on him and I won't stop and I'm getting my ass kicked I really don't know what to say but he says is get the f*** away from me that's what you say you say nothing I don't want you saying stuff to me I don't want you talking to me or near me he says there's a restraining order on you and the cops are watching and you're in violation of the restraining order and they're going to go pick you up and you are arrested this morning you get arrested like 10 times a day because they don't want you near me he says that I'm deaf and I certainly figured out something and the only one doing this for the most part and it's true other people are doing it a little a lot of them backed off and they're going after my people to stop me and pretty soon it'll be over so I say the standard line and he's heard it before went very dangerous people were doing it and I'm somewhat dangerous and I figured out something and I can't even respect already and this is probably won't help and it says yeah but it's true

Trump

We're overflowing with joy at the results of our actions and we don't take any responsibility for it and we're not changing people going after us like you said and a smiling at us like we smiled at them for years and they're saying it's our time he's been right the whole time and we need to get this idiot John remillard off him Terry cheeseman is helping still this guy says he's him and it's not true I feel bad for me and I feel bad for him and the rest of our clan because this is one s******* messing it up it says he's going to continue to but it is the empire that's having him do it and I feel bad for them cuz he's one s*** head messing them up and it's not me like they said it was going to be and I say this you people are stupid so what if you see something nobody believes you anymore then they look into it and you have a fight

Dave

It's unreal is there's enough cover out here that he could get away with tons of stuff and it's absolutely true and this one guy is ruining everything cuz we said he was going to and we're trying to use him as an example what's he going to do walk around do nothing like you did a lot when he was younger he was trying to get educated he says in school and we do understand that it's really a piss poor thing to do but we're doing it just like John remillard

Macs

We can't stand anymore here a pile of s*** you're walking around like bums they look like bums you sound like bums and you're doing bum things we don't like you for it and we're going to come in and straighten you out and sure we had influenced it but you had this thing on 9/11 and you had a tight grip on the world and he understands it perfectly cuz you're doing it to him how things are going to change and it's going to be different we might lose but you're not going to win Max

Shaq

And we reiterate that too

Billium

So they start doing really weak stuff can't figure it out they been up all night masturbating and they're not healing and they're not recovering and they're issuing threats and their people getting eaten up so I can walk around all day and say that they're back and their people are dead out in the woods 20 households and our son and daughter said the first line but we're saying the rest the second 10 are gone they're not to 100 households it's called the weakness and you're exhibiting it all day long and you're saying stupid s*** and you're getting in fights over nothing. This guy Trump is an insane piece of s*** decide what he was doing today and we are going after him I don't want to mention it but he's down here at the park and he was just arrested no he was arrested this morning went over the house and he sat in it screwing around with our son and I want him gone everybody's asking me for orders on what to do and they said no I said if you're tired of it I mean if I'm tired of it it's got to be a problem and she's letting the fire into my butt I had her do it so they're starting to do things to him and they're realizing that he's trying to stop you it's his method that's wrong and it's other people doing that and now we have something there's other things happening here in Charlotte county and we're going to post this

Thor Freya

Olympus