#I have planned btw it's just gonna take me longer to make

[notedoesart]

I finished EOM

:D three major campaigns left, I have started BDW but I am taking a break and catching up on critical role uwu

Well I finished it days ago but lol

But now I get to watch other people react to eom now owo it's one of my favorites....

[catboydan]

fiance got me a kindle for my birthday <3

[silksongeveryday]

Drawing Hornet everyday until Silksong comes out - Day 600!

Here’s a quick 30 min doodle to celebrate! :D

Man time really flies huh

Thank you guys for 3.1k btw!!!

And big thank you to those who have joined me in this wild journey of daily doodles no matter how long you’ve been here. Truly did not expect what started as a joke to make it this far lol

(more stuff I wanted to talk about under the cut)

-A few updates-

General Stuff:

Well, life has been generally pretty busy. And while that’s made it a little more challenging to do daily doodles as of late, it’s been alright for the most part. Some of you may have noticed though that a lot of my daily posts have been showing up as much as 1-2 hours later than the regular time. Unfortunately with all the stuff I’ve been taking care of lately, putting a daily doodle/drawing on top of the pile means it’ll be late very often. I kind of have an unofficial job irl now so this stuffs hard to juggle sometimes.

Hornet’s Strange Adventures:

Initially I was hoping to get a lot of stuff done for this game during October but some recent job stuff is making that pretty hard to do. I probably won’t be able to make any significant progress on this game until very late October and into November. So if you were looking forward to big updates on progress, it sadly won’t be for a while, sorry. Outside of that though, I can at least say that all the routes have been thoroughly planned out from start to finish including the secret route. This includes rewriting some choices that have already been seen during the game’s time on ssed.

About Doodle Requests

I haven’t had them open for a while anyway, but I’ve finally come to the decision that I will no longer be taking doodle requests through tumblr asks/inbox. As fun as it was in the beginning, I often found myself trying to fulfill requests on the daily and that was stressful. That being said, it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m stopping requests entirely. I just don’t really want to do them for free anymore. Since I’m on Hornet Journal Series still, it’s a long way away before anything happens, but there’s a likely chance I’ll only do commissioned doodle requests whenever they re-open. We’ll see as it gets closer though.

Thoughts on taking an actual break:

I’ve mentioned this a lot in the past both here on ssed and on my main blog, but I’ve been seriously considering taking a break. Like a real one. Not just a “I’m gonna stockpile a bunch of doodles and pick it back up when I run out” kind of break. Especially with the way life has been going lately (mostly positive at least), I feel as though I may have to retire from daily doodles somewhat soon if there is no official news by the time this blog hits its 2 year mark. Don’t get me wrong I’ve loved doing this for the almost two years that it’s been going but at some point I’ll have to move on from this whether I like it or not. Does this mean that activity on this blog stops altogether? No. I just won’t be doing daily doodles anymore. There’s a more likely chance it would end up being weekly, or possibly monthly. Just not daily anymore.

Whatever the case, that decision will be considered more when 2 years gets closer. Until then just enjoy daily doodles while they’re still here!

—————————————————-

I think that’s all I can think of to say right now. Might post more thoughts on my main maybe?? We’ll see

Thank you again to all the lovely people that have been here during this crazy journey, you guys are awesome :D

[3vergr3en]

hi! I love your work! I noticed you've been a fan of eujoo lately... me too :,) if you have time or are interested, how do you think the andteam members would act when they have a crush? thank you!

❥ How &Team would react to having a crush on you

(🥐) PAIRING . OT9 x fem!reader

(🥞) A/N . ANON. I LOVE YOUUU. and thank you so much for requesting this !! and yesss, byun euijoo has all I've been thinking about (he's so cute that I'm getting pissed off.)

(🍮) ADDITIONAL INFO . everything below is just cutesy filth.

Koga Yudai - K

hes actually quite shy surprisingly.

you'd expect him to be all like, "I like you!!" when he first realized that he thought more of you than just a friend.

but he's actually quite sheepish when it comes to you.

one glance from you has his heart pounding in his chest.

or one 'hi, yudai!' has his knees buckling.

he tries to make himself look and act perfect when being around you, deathly afraid of any mishaps happening bc all he wants is for you to think that he's cool :(

but he's so busy trying to perfect himself, that he fails to do the part where you had to be yourself.

"Yudai. You didn't need to do all of that if you wanted to impress me. You could've just asked me out." You smile fondly, combing back his curtain bands with your hand.

"I messed up my chance, didn't I?"

"Not yet."

Murata Fuma - Fuma

honestly not surprised when realizing.

he loves having you around with him and the guys,

or when you ask him to come over to help with some appliances.

He doesn't mind fixing them bc not only does he get to see you more, but he also doesn't want your place collapsing on you <3

you're independent, funny, and super sweet to anyone around you.

who wouldn't like you?

When he decided to go tell you,

he's SUPER straightforward.

"Y/n, the reason why I asked you to come see me today was because.. I found myself having feelings for you than I would for just a friend."

He knows what he wants, and he acts on it. he hates beating around the bush. (which is so attractive btw)

If he can have you as his now, why would he want to wait any longer?

"Oh! I.. wasn't expecting you to be so straightforward about it. Usually guys would just--"

"Well, I'm not like them." He chuckles, "I'm a man who knows how to treat a woman right."

Don't gotta say anymore, you're already planning a date with him.

(and possibly your guys's future together)

Wang Yixiang - Nicholas

he first realized he had a crush on you when the smallest things you'd usually do for him, start to have more of an effect on him.

like asking him if he had eaten yet, or grabbing an extra umbrella for him when it was going to rain.

YOU thought you were delusional-- no, HE'S delusional.

'she thought about me. omg, she wants me so bad, its embarrassing for her.'

NO. it's embarrassing for YOU, yixiang.

but he doesn't tell you right away, although his ways of showing that are teasing you even more than usual.

"no one wants to see you chowing down that, like calm down, no ones gonna take it from you." He snickers, finding joy in you glaring daggers at him.

"and no one wants to see that ugly face of yours, but hey, unfortunately, we all can't have what we want."

God. He's gonna marry you one day.

One day.

Byun Euijoo - Ej

SOOO shy whenever you walk into the room.

"Hi juju!" You greet happily, a bright smile over taking your face.

"Oh-! Uhm, hi.." He responds, a faint smile appearing on his lips.

HES SO AWKWARD THAT ITS CUTEEEE.

he's terrified that if the guys stopped talking, everyone, especially you, would hear his heartbeat drumming in his chest.

he truly finds you the most beautiful girl he's ever laid eyes on, and unfortunately, Nicholas has to hear all about his fanboy behavior.

"Euijoo, buddy." The older clears his throat as his hand grasps euijoo's shoulder, "If you won't tell her, I will."

"You wouldn't.." Euijoo trails off, a hint of betrayal was clear in his tone.

But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that nicholas may not be joking.

"wait-- no, I-I'll tell her, okay?"

and surprisingly, he did.

you found it adorable btw when he confessed his feelings.

he was fumbling over his words and unintentionally avoided direct eye contact the whole time.

he was just so nervous :((

"juju, you're so cute. you know that, right?"

"ah.. really? thank you then 😊"

Nakakita Yuma - Yuma

honestly, i feel like he would be in denial at first.

BUT NOT IN A BAD WAY.

just more of a, 'what if she doesn't like me back? I don't want to ruin our friendship' type of denial.

So, he tries to suppress them.

How did that turn out?

He barely lasted a couple hours before going out to your place for dinner.

and you greeted him with open arms and a warm smile.

It took him some time to process that newfound feeling.

With the help of responsible fuma and surprisingly taki (I know. but I think that boy has some good advice), he was convinced to tell you how he truly felt.

"You know, make sure you're clear, okay? Don't be vague or ambiguous." Fuma hums, patting the boy's shoulder.

"But like, also be mysterious too! Girls dig that." Taki chimes in.

(okay, perhaps I take that back.)

Asakura Jo - Jo

shy boi #2

he would want to spend more time with you, actually.

I mean yes, he is afraid to confess because he fears rejection.

but like, he cares about you too much to be distant.

so he just accepted it and opted to spend his last few times with you as a friend until you eventually let him off.

but it kept going for longer and longer.

he questioned why. maybe you were just oblivious to his obvious crush on you?

Nope. You weren't oblivious.

You knew right from the get-go that Jo might've felt a different way.

How?

His more frequent visits, asking questions about hypothetically dating a guy who so happens to perfectly fit the description of him.

He's so cute.

Shigeta Harua - Harua

shy boi #3

but he's the most composed out of all the members (besides fuma)

He hides it so well because he makes it look like nothing changed about him.

but even if he doesn't show, he feels it ALL internally.

and poor you, you don't even notice at all.

"Harua! Want to go to this restaurant that just opened recently?"

"Oh,, as in, like a uh.."

"Like in what?" You question, attention focused on your phone that holds the restaurant's website in.

"Ah, nothing. Let's go!" He smiles, watching you slip on your shoes.

I'll tell her one day.

Takayma Riki - Taki

HES SO PAINFULLY OBVIOUS, OML.

hes quite literally like a clingly puppy around you.

"Y/n! Where do you want to go today?" He'd question, eyes wide in anticipation.

"Oh, I was actually planning to stay home and just watch some TV-"

"I'll come accompany you!"

"Thanks.. Taki." You giggle, admiring his devotion to you.

"Should we get matching pj's for our sleepover?" Taki suggests.

"Oh, since when did I say you were sleeping over?"

But when you see that pout, you feel some heart strings being pulled.

"Okay, okay. Fine. Yes, you can stay the night-- but NO matching pajamas.. yet."

"THERE'S A YET?!"

Hirota Maus Riki - Maki

just like K, he tries to play it cool.

But he doesn't go all out like the other.

He's actually hidden it pretty well, just like Harua.

You guys already established a friendship that deals with a lot of skinship.

You guys pretty much act like a couple, just without the title.

It's no surprise that either one of you starts to form a crush.

It's so normal, it just felt right.

But to his surprise, you were the one to confess first--

completely taking him off guard.

"Wait- no! I was going to tell you first!"

"Well, you took too long."

"I was literally going to tell you 10 seconds ago."

"Yeah right."

"..."

"..."

"Want to go get some Ice cream?" Maki suggests, raising an eyebrow.

"Um, duh."

(all of the boys coo how cute you guys are <33)

[sasaranurude]

Okay. I've been playing Tokyo Debunker today, since the release happened to catch me on a day when all I'd planned to do was write fanfiction. I just finished reading the game story prologue (it was longer than expected!), so here's a review type post. If you're reading this post not having seen a single thing about this game: it's a story-based joseimuke gacha mobile game that just released globally today. It's about a girl who suddenly finds herself attending a magic school and mingling with elite, superhuman students known as ghouls. If you look in the tumblr tag for the game you'll see what appears to be a completely different game from 2019 or so: they retooled it completely midway through development, changing just about everything about it due to "escalating competition within the gaming industry."

I'll talk about how this looks like a blatant twst clone at the end.

Starting with the positive: The story is charming. I enjoyed it thoroughly the entire time and am excited to read more. The mix between visual novel segments and motion comics was really nice--it broke things up and added a lot of oomph to the action or atmospheric scenes that visual novels generally lack. I like the art in the comic parts a lot. the live2d in the visual novel parts is... passable. Tone-wise, I think the story was a little bit all over the place and would like to see more of the horror that it opened on, but I didn't mind the comedic direction it went in either. The translation is completely seamless. The characters so far all have unique voices and are just super fun and cute. Of the ones who've had larger roles in the story so far, there's not a single one I dislike. It's all fully voiced in Japanese and the acting is solid. (I don't recognize any voices, and can't seem to find any seiyuu credits, so it seems they're not big names, but they deliver nonetheless.) Kaito in particular I found I was laughing at his lines a ton, both the voicing and the writing.

He's looking for a girlfriend btw. Spreading the word.

The problem is like. The gameplay is the worst dark-pattern microtransaction-riddled bullshit I've ever seen. Hundred passive timers going at all times. Fifty different item-currencies. Trying to get you to spend absurd amounts of real world money at every turn. There's like five different indicators that take you to various real-money shop items that I don't know how to dismiss the indicator, I guess you just have to spend money, wtaf. Bajillion different interlocking systems mean you have zero sense of relative value of all the different item-currencies. I did over the course of the day get enough diamonds for one ten-pull, which I haven't used yet. Buying enough diamonds for a ten-pull costs a bit under $60 (presumably USD, but there's a chance the interface is automatically making that CAD for me--not gonna spend the money to check lmfao), with an SSR rate of 1%. BULLSHIIIIIT.

There's like a goddamn thousand-word essay explaining the dozen different types of character upgrades and equippables and equippables for the equippables!! Bad! Bad game design! That's just overcomplicating bullshit to trick people into thinking they're doing something other than clicking button to make number go up! That is not gameplay!

In terms of the actual gameplay, there is none. The battle system is full auto. There might be teambuilding, but from what I've seen so far, most of that consists of hoping you pull good cards from gacha and then clicking button to make number go up. There's occasional rhythm segments but there's no original music, it's just remixes of public domain classical music lmao. I'd describe the rhythm gameplay as "at least more engaging than twisted wonderland's," which is not a high bar

At least there's a cat in the rhythm bit.

And like, ok, I gotta remark on how derivative it is. Like I mentioned in my post earlier, this game is unabashedly aping twisted wonderland's setting and aesthetic. (That said, most of the stuff it steals from twst is magic school stuff that twst also basically stole from Harry Potter, so...?) However, it isn't exactly like twst: in this one, the characters say fuck a lot and bleed all over the place and do violence. Basically, the tone is a fair bit more adult than twst's kid-friendly vibe. (Not, like, adult adult, and I probably wouldn't even call it dark--it's still rated Teen lol. Just more adult than twst.)

Rather than just being students at magic school, the ghouls also go out into the mundane world to go on missions where they fight and investigate monsters and cryptids. Honestly, the magic school setting feels pretty tacked-on. The things that are enjoyable about this would've been just as enjoyable in about any other setting--you can tell this whole aspect was a late trend-chasing addition, lmao. So, yeah, it's blatantly copying twst to try to steal some players, but... Eh, I found myself not caring that much. Someone more (or less) into twst than me may find it grating.

Character-wise, eh, sure, yeah, they're a bit derivative in that aspect too, but it's a joseimuke game, the characters are always derivative. Thus far the writing & execution has been solid enough that I didn't care if they were tropey. If I were to compare it to something else, I'd say the relationship between the protagonist and the ghouls feels more like that of the sage and wizards in mahoyaku than anything from twst. There's some mystery in exactly what "ghouls" are and their place in this world that has me intrigued and wanting to know more about this setting and how each of the characters feels about it. I have a bad habit of getting my hopes up for stories that put big ideas on the table and then being disappointed when they don't follow through in a way that lives up to my expectations, though.

So, my final verdict: I kind of just hope someone uploads all the story segments right onto youtube so nobody has to deal with the dogshit predatory game to get the genuinely decent story lol. Give it a play just for the story if you have faith in your ability to resist dark patterns. Avoid at all costs if you know you're vulnerable to gacha, microtransactions, or timesinks.

[biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer]

(translator use, Sorry if there are any mistakes in this)

First, I love you, I'm super in love with hyugo and you're one of the few people who made x reader content with him, and the writing is so well done that God. It's beautiful 😭💙

Could I request some headcanons with a shy reader? Just like the one you did with Geo but with Hyugo?

Reticence (Hyugo x Shy! MC/Reader)

Thank you for being so patient with me Anon and @cuentademeri *quietly despairs and prays for forgiveness* and for reading my work! I had fun writing this (however, reminder that I am someone who isn't even remotely shy,so if the shyness part seems inaccurate, well, I tried). Hope you enjoy! :D

P.S Thank you for the compliments. <33 They're appreciated.

A/N: Btw if I take longer to answer requests, it's not because I gave up on them, it's simply the fact I don't want to make this blog quantity > quality. Also an original work for TKATB shall be out soon, so uh rejoice.

- Signed by biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer

Reticence: an unwillingness to do something or talk about something, for example because you are nervous or being careful.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Hyugo first met you, he simply thought you were quiet, like Sol. Until he noticed you essentially never talked.

He wasn't concerned per se, more so curious. Did you feel awkward with him and Sol? Why even sit if you weren't gonna chat?

Tries to befriend you, is the type to wave to you and grin if he sees you around.

Is honestly a tad surprised when he finds out you're shy and reserved.

Doesn't have any issue with it though.

Will make more of an effort to chat you up. Words of affirmation and aggressive positivity galore. "The girls keep saying I'm hideous. I don't believe them but..." "You're not." "Yeah but-" "No buts! Those are for sitting! And I'm going to make sure said people who called you that won't be able to comfortably sit ever again!"

When you star talking more, he's a very happy man.

Likes it when you tell him things, doesn't matter what. He just enjoys hearing you chat about nothing.

He'll ask you at some point why you are shy. He's never been shy so he was curious.

You just explain you're simply not as outgoing as a lot of other people are.

But if you feel shy partially due to appearance woes? He'll tell you you look gorgeous! (He means it he just hasn't realised the extent of said words).

Oh, but if you get bullied? Doesn't matter for what, Hyugo'll fight those responsible (Sol's got too much on his plate already *sob*). Will stand up for you if conflicts arise, mf won't even bat an eye.

He honestly doesn't understand why people target you. You're sweet, cute, even funny when you start crawling out of your shell.

He's honestly angry about it.

He doesn't even fully understand why he feels so strongly about you, nor why he's so eager to see you.

Until one day it hits him. Hard.

It's not like he couldn't see it coming, he suspected it deep down, but refused to admit it.

He has too much shit on his shoulders to catch feelings, no matter how angelic or beautiful or smart you may be.

Alas, his heart has other plans, because it eventually will decide to beat solely for you.

Y'all are the classic "Shy x Outgoing" trope.

He's fine with it. He gets to boost your self-confidence, get you to open up bit by bit, until he's got tens of files on you; with only the necessities of course: - Where you were born - When? What time? - Parents? Carers? Financial situations (doesn't know about the debt teehee) - You get the point

Asks you out right after graduation if he's alive then anyway, to which you say yes. Obviously.

Becomes a very content guy, literally spoils you more than a king ever could. He's rich af.

Will hold your hand in public if you're shy or anxious, is okay with also not holding you if you wish although he will pout at the latter with his plump fucking lips.

Also boosts your confidence, eventually you and him end up having the most absurd, comical banter known to man.

Hyugo is am 11/10 bf, will cater for you, and will never tire of ensuring you're comfortable, content and cordial with him.

And you most definitely are. <33

[darkmajesty-xo]

Ready Player 1 ? - Shigaraki x reader

18+ MDNI | masturbation, praise , video chats, crack-humor

most would consider it unwise for a girl like you to be in these chat rooms due to the questionable discourse and rather infamous patrons, but girls just wanna have fun right ?

xoxo_|hisMC ✮: saw an old couple today, could be me and shig but he’s playing ☹️

user2345: i think you mean planning* as in planning world domination and torment of quirkless losers like you.

xoxo_|hisMC ✮: oh sweetheart you’ll never get any pussy if you keep acting like one

user3333: damn bro, you gonna take that ?

user2345: who gives a shit about some villain groupie ?

user2345: she keeps her mouth so full of cum that it’s starting to affect her whore brain.

user2345: do you really think the true leader of the new world would make time for some dumb cunt like you ?

xoxo_|hisMC ✮: there’s probably a higher chance of tomura shigaraki and i living happily ever after than there is of ANY woman even looking in your direction.

this was a normal friday night, you simping over shigaraki in the forums and clapping back at the misogynistic incels that hid behind their keyboards in their mothers’ basements. but there was one guy that always stood up for you whenever the idiots got too out of hand. he was also a moderator so he had no problems blocking them.

the two of you would dm off and on about life , thoughts on hero society, hobbies , etc. from your chats you gathered that he didn’t walk that straight and narrow but that didn’t mean much to you. he would sometimes tease your about your crush on shigaraki and your general taste in men.

finalboss: honestly, what kind of girl likes a criminal?; who knows what kind of twisted shit the guys into— you’re not even a villain.

xoxo_|hisMC ✮: you know nothing jon snow

finalboss: that reference just confirmed btw

xoxo_|hisMC ✮: i’ll have you know that my beloved is a certified otaku fantasy nerd.

finalboss: oh yeah ? and how’d you obtain such info ?

xoxo_|hisMC ✮: i run 3 stan accounts on twitter and i belong to a shiggy fan club 🥹

finalboss: 😃

finalboss: seek help

finalboss: 😃

xoxo_|hisMC ✮: you wound me ☹️

finalboss: i’ll just leave that too your Prince Charming lol

xoxo_|hisMC ✮: oh lord , did you see the footage of his latest attack ?

xoxo_|hisMC ✮: he was dressed like a whoreee 😩😩

xoxo_|hisMC ✮: tits just out for my viewing pleasure

xoxo_|hisMC ✮: shigaraki is my shepherd, he know what i want.

xoxo_|hisMC ✮: wanna suck on those sugar nips and call him mommy

finalboss: you get weirder and weirder every time we chat

xoxo_|hisMC ✮: that means we’re becoming besties ㅤ♡ ︎

finalboss: ♡ ︎

it was nice having someone to talk to about your secret obsession, it’s not like your “real life” friends would understand. the two of you had carved out your own little piece of the internet to goof around in. he never disclosed much information about himself and typically kept the conversations focused on you, but you still felt an undeniable bond to this faceless stranger.

then he ghosted you.

weeks went by without a word from your friend. he no longer defended you in the forums and he didn’t respond to any of your dms. you’d started to get worried that he may have been arrested or worse. and at the three month mark you’d finally given up hope that you’d ever hear from your friend again. but then the unexpected happened.

finalboss is requesting to video chat.

this was completely out of character but after months with no word, you were desperate to hear from your friend.

you were prepared to chew him him out for abandoning you. thinking of all the ways you could insult him while simultaneously expressing your need for his comfort and company. but your mind went blank when the grainy screen loaded into the pixelated image of your companion.

whispy tendrils fell from his bun, framing the sculpted planes of his handsome face. his lips were dry, slightly chapped, with the only lubrication being the sheen of saliva left by the slow drag of his tongue. bloodied eyes bore into your own leaving you breathless and dazed.

“hey bestie”

his voice was low and raspy, almost like a whisper. a deep rumbling that echoed in your ear drums. it was oddly hypnotic. he was absolutely mesmerizing.

tomura chuckled into the camera, showing flashes of perfectly white teeth. he leans back into the chair, a hand on the back of his neck showcasing a broad chest and toned abs.

“didn’t expect you to be this quiet, bestie. is my outfit not slutty enough for you ? i could always take these off…” his hand fell from his neck to rest and the waistband of his black jeans.

you remained speechless, eyes glued to the light dusting of hair below his belly button.

more laughter and shifting. now you were met with the glorious girth of shigaraki’s cock clenched tightly in his fist. the darkened tip oozed a sparkling trail of pre that spilled down his length. his thumb swiped the fluid to spread over his veiny member.

“c’mon , doll. don’t leave me hanging” he teased, squeezing his fist upwards to produce more pre. “i thought you wanted to be my ‘mc’ ? seems more like an npc if you ask me”.

“y-you’re him” you stammered, eyes following the slow drag of his fist. “you’re tomura shigaraki”.

“in the flesh” he teased, shooting a wink that went directly between your legs. “well kinda, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. sorry i’ve been away so long, but you’d wait forever for me won’t you , perfect girl ?”

your nod was automatic. robotic even. you’d moved closer to the screen, completely engrossed by his ministrations.

“anything for you beyon—shiggy”

you both laughed at that. he appreciated your humor, especially with all the drama in his day to day. even in def con simp mode and being ghosted didn’t stop you from being undeniably you. that’s probably why he was as obsessed with you as you were with him.

“i know we probably have alot to discuss but todays been kind of shitty and i’d really like to explore our final fantasies”.

you snorted, “that was really bad , shig”.

he shrugged, “i’m a villain, not a comedian, beloved. “now show me that perfect little pussy”.

[cherrybomb107]

I see people saying that Silco ultimately had Zaun’s best interests at heart, but I disagree. I think HE definitely thinks that, but at the end of the day, actions speak louder than words. Silco didn’t act like a revolutionary. He acted like a wannabe Piltie who disguised his rhetoric with vague plans of rebellion and monologues 😭😭😭

Disclaimer: I love Silco! He’s one of my favorite characters in Arcane and I think he was a fabulous villain. Not quite THE big bad(that title is reserved for the institution of Piltover and its apathy and downright callousness towards the Undercity) but he was definitely a villain at the end of the day. No amount of “nuance” or “character complexity” is gonna erase that

Let’s start with the obvious: the fact that he fully planned on killing Powder before she launched herself into his arms and he realized how similar they were. I’m sorry, but in my mind, no one who’s willing to kill children is a revolutionary. Sorry. 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️Only reason why he didn’t is because he saw himself in her. If he truly believed in revolution, he could’ve done youth outreach programs to get young people involved in protests, and given them classes on what to do/how to prepare for when the enforcers show up to shut them down. That’s a real thing that’s been done before btw. I know Arcane is fiction, but it deals with politics that mirror our real world struggles. If Silco actually backed up his claims of wanting freedom for Zaun, he’d do things like this.

To continue this, the creation of Shimmer. Silco claims it’s needed in order to give Zaunites the strength they need to fight back against Piltover. Which, again, I’m sure he believes that, but come on. Creating a monopoly on a highly addictive drug that permanently disfigures its users when they take too much is not the way to go about it. Modeling the capitalist system of Piltover is ultimately not going to help. Shimmer does make people feel empowered, yes. But that empowered feeling doesn’t last long, and when you come down from your high, all you want is more, more, more. So where does that leave you?

It leads you to living out on the streets, willing to do anything for your next hit. That’s what happened to Huck, and we don’t even know how many others. Silco never once expressed concern for the wellbeing of the addicts that he created! What kind of revolutionary would toss his own people to the side when they’re no longer useful to him?

Speaking of the drugs, why does he have children working in his factories? Now, child labor is a very complex issue. I’m from the States, so we’re generally (or we claim to be anyway) against child labor. In other countries however, children not only work, but they protest and fight for their right to work. They take pride in their work. So I don’t want to debate the morality of child labor. I wanted to bring it up for the sake of the argument. Let’s say that child labor is a cultural norm in the Undercity. That brings me back to my original question: why does Silco have kids working in his factories? Child labor isn’t the issue; it’s the kind of labor they’re doing and the level of danger they could be in. What kinds of things are the kids that work in Silco’s factories responsible for? Do they get equal pay to their adult counterparts? Worker’s comp if something happens/they get injured on the job? Are there even protections in place so that there are little to no injuries? These are questions which we can’t even begin to answer, because Silco never brings it up!

He never talks about the ways in which he sets out to improve not just the lives of child laborers in Zaun, their adult counterparts, or people in Zaun, period! He only ever talks about “the nation of Zaun” in the abstract. Never once does he sit down and ask himself if this is the best way to go about it. I’m pro revolution. I absolutely believe that the people of Zaun have the right to fight back against their oppressors. But, with the way Silco was acting, he functionally became another oppressor.

Let’s say he was able to make a deal with Jayce and secure the Undercity’s freedom without having to sacrifice Jinx. What would that even look like? What does Silco know about running a government? How would he address the population of Shimmer addicts he manufactured? You can’t just get rid of/stop the production of Shimmer and leave those people without support! It’s true that the air was cleaner under Silco’s reign. But “cleaner” is the operative word. Doesn’t mean it was completely clean. And if people in Zaun didn’t even have clean air, who’s to say they had access to clean water and good food? Did Silco ever do anything to address those issues or did he, along with the rest of the chembarons, acquire enough capital to tell working class and underprivileged Zaunites “fuck you, I got mine”?

To summarize, Silco SAYS he wants freedom from Piltover’s oppression. He SAYS he wants to give his people the power to fight back. But actions speak louder than words. I can’t think of a single action that Silco took that benefited anyone outside of him and those closest to him. Realistically speaking he would have been a terrible leader for Zaun, and it all would’ve fallen apart when he died/was killed for his lack of leadership skills. It was only a matter of time imo.

Did he ever truly want to remove the boot from the Undercity’s neck? Or did he just want to be the one wearing it? I’m leaning towards the latter. But maybe that’s just me.

[archangeldyke-all]

More tattoo artist sevika pls

Maybe our first date or something 👀👀👀

ur wish is my command bb

men and minors dni

so since you asked her out, you're under the impression that you'll be planning the date.

that is not the case.

once sevika's away from you (and no longer hypnotized by your presence) she snaps out of her lovesick haze and rushes to text you.

"i'm taking u out, btw."

"absolutely not, i asked u!" you text back.

"yeah because i couldn't get my brain to fuckin' work while i was looking at u. i'm taking u out. shut up about it."

and then, "ur tit pic nearly gave me an aneurysm, btw."

she picks out a quiet little restaurant with great drinks, reserves a table for you, and gets there thirty minutes early. she has two drinks before you arrive-- nervous as shit and desperate to be cool once you show up.

she's not.

you show up wearing a low cut top and skin tight pants. she chokes on her drink when she sees you.

you have to pound her back while she coughs and sputters.

she hides her face in her hands in embarrassment as you sit across from her once her breathing is under control. you laugh, endeared by how nervous she is around you.

"you're really cute." you say.

she groans. "you make me stupid with how pretty you are." she mumbles.

it's a great first date after the initial awkward bumble. sevika relaxes when she realizes you're teasing her just so she won't tease you-- because her teasing you leads to you getting so flustered you can't even look her in the eyes.

you guys have a few drinks and split a few appetizers. you take turns trying to fluster the other between asking questions about each other and getting to know one another.

your chemistry is off the charts. you've never met anyone you click with quite as quickly as you click with sevika. by the end of the night the two of you are laughing with each other like you've known each other for years.

you end up sitting at the table chatting for hours, until the restaurant closes forcing the two of you to leave. outside the restaurant, sevika awkwardly asks you if you'd like to take a walk with her. you enthusiastically agree, nowhere near ready for the night to be over.

sevika grins when you agree, and you decide to be bold and take her hand in yours. she trips over her own feet, awkwardly laughing when you help her straighten out.

"nervous?" you ask her. she hip checks you gently.

"shut up." she grumbles. you smile and stop walking. she turns around, ready to apologize, and you cut her off by pressing a kiss to her cheek. she's blushing when you pull away.

"you make me nervous too." you say, biting your lip and smiling. "good nervous, though."

"yeah." sevika says with a sparkle in her eyes. "good nervous."

the two of you walk for hours, circling the same block and talking about any and everything.

she tells you secrets she's never told anyone, you tell her practically your whole life story.

you point to her most eye catching tattoos, ask her the story behind each one, what made her choose the design.

it's only when the sky starts to get light that sevika realizes how much time has passed.

"oh fuck." sevika curses, looking down at you. "i am so sorry, i had no idea it was getting so--"

"it's okay." you cut her off. "i did. i just wanted to keep spending time with you." you watch sevika melt, her eyes getting wide and her face going soft. you giggle. "plus i got all my steps in, so that's good."

"probably enough steps for the whole week." she says.

"speaking of... are you free this weekend?" you ask. sevika grins.

"yes." she says, nodding enthusiastically.

"you gonna let me take you out this time?" you ask. she shakes her head no.

"never." she says. you roll your eyes.

"walk me to my car." you demand. sevika does.

when you get to your car-- the only one left in the parking lot besides sevika's, you turn around to hook your hands over sevika's shoulders.

"i'm really glad you asked me out." you whisper.

"i'm really glad you came to silco for your nose piercing." she says.

"i had such a good time tonight." you say.

"me too."

"sevika?" you ask, blinking up at her. her eyes are focused on your lips.

"yeah?"

"can i kiss you?" you ask. she grins.

"yeah."

she leans down as you lean up, your lips meeting in a gentle kiss. something warm and sparkly bubbles in your stomach, and in a moment you're grinning against her lips. she pulls away with a shy smile of her own, clearing her throat and scratching the back of her neck.

"text me when you get home safe." she says. you nod up at her.

"you too." you say.

sevika turns to walk to her car and you watch her go, raising your eyebrows when she stops and turns back around to stride up to you, a determined look on her face.

she scoops you up into her arms and kisses you fiercly, a ray of sun cutting through the sky to illuminate the two of you as you moan into each other. she sets you down three minutes later, much more satisfied with that kiss than the one before it, and then walks backwards all the way to her car, grinning and giggling at your flustered face the whole way.

[the-laughing-lunatic]

Mediscout cute headcanons!!!

(Omg yea I love these guys so much, def one of my main ships. I also rlly like their dynamic in emesis blue but y’know, not very cute. I have a lot of thoughts about these guys so I accidentally made this really long— word count: 1714. Thx for requesting! :3)

Medic x Scout headcanons!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── 

☆Platonic☆

Scout’s definitely scared of Medic at first 

I mean, when your coworker mentions plans about putting a baboon uterus inside you you’re gonna be a little on edge

Avoids checkups for so long Medic has to find him and drag Scout himself to the medbay

“Sheiße, you are acting like a little child right now, it is not such a big deal Herr Scout. I am simply going to check a few things.”

“Well I’m sorry if I ain’t too thrilled to have some psycho puttin’ needles or animal parts or whatever in me.”

Medic groaned. “I just need to check your temperature, heart rate, and blood pressure. Now can you please shut your mouth and let me work?”

While he took Scout’s heart rate, both annoyed, Archimedes flew to Scout’s shoulder and nuzzled into the man’s neck

After the checkup Medic sighed and ushered his dove over. “Him? Really Archimedes?” 

The dove cooed. “Well then, I trust your judgement, I suppose I’ll try to be nicer to him.”

After that he did try to be kinder to Scout, staying around him more, listening to what he’s saying at dinner, looking through his room to learn more about him—

That’s not how Scout interpreted it though, and one day when Medic was trailing a little too close to him again he just snapped “Will you fuckin’ cut it out!?”

“Cut what out?”

“This- this weird stalkerish thing you’re doing. What, you makin’ fun of me? You gonna take my organs in the middle of the night? What do you want?”

“Oh. I was trying to be nicer to you. I could stop if you want.”

“If you wanna be nice you could try talkin’ to me for once.”

And Medic did

Both of them are absolute yappers, and Scout quickly got more comfortable with Medic as they talked more

He’ll never forget the first time he saw Medic laugh

Like, genuinely laugh

He’d seen Medic laugh many times before, either on the operating table or during battle but it was always just…scary

When he actually laughed Scout couldn’t help but laugh as well, because Medic’s real laugh was so different of what he had thought of him

It was warm and nice, and suddenly Medic wasn’t just this psycho ex-doctor, he was also his friend

When they go out for drinks Medic often has to carry Scout back to the base because of his incredibly low alcohol tolerance (not that it’s hard though)

Medic would teach Scout how to take care of his birds in the case he was especially busy, Scout’s their godfather now

I feel like they’d also work well in a qpr, though Medic would have to help Scout a little since he’s been comfortable with his asexuality for longer and has probably been in one before

I headcanon them as both on the ace spectrum so I’m gonna delve into that a bit

I feel like Scout is graysexual while Medic is completely sex-repulsed

Scout honestly would’ve thought he was allosexual for the rest of his life until he heard Medic talking about how being ace felt for him

And he was like “huh, I relate to some of that”

Scout definitely has a lot of questions though

“So like- what’s romantic? Cus I don’t wanna take this too far, but you’re my cucumber, or squash— whatever the word is an’ I wanna show that I care about ya.”

“It’s zucchini, Jeremy. And the point of being in a queerplatonic relationship is that we get to make our own rules for what works for us. All you have to do is ask me if you want to try something.”

“Oh, um, well then. Is it okay if I kiss your cheek, doc?”

“Yes, Jeremy, it’s very okay.”

♡

Biggest dorks ever btw

Just so you know

☆Romantic☆

Medic would fall in love (or realize it at least) over something trivial

Accidentally brushing hands, a word of praise after a battle that made Medic especially appreciated, Scout falling asleep on his shoulder at movie night, etc.

It was weird, because Scout was almost the opposite of his type, he was loud, arrogant, and less than intelligent, but he accepted Scout as the outlier

Even though Medic fell first he didn’t initiate it

Though his moral compass was less than straight when it came to advancing the field of medicine, it felt weird to be the one starting anything with a guy nearly 20 years younger than him

He even performed a brain scan on Scout just to double-check his brain was fully developed (surprisingly, it was) so he could feel less weird about his crush

For a long time he just thought of it as an enjoyable distraction, not anything that could go anywhere

Scout liked Ms. Pauling, and Medic was fine with it. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to date Scout, he just liked the idea of a relationship, and Scout was an attractive man he could project those wants onto.

At least that’s how he reasoned it to himself

The giddy laugh Medic couldn’t help but let out every time he saw him, the way he always made sure to be gentler when he gave Scout his shots, how a Boston accent now equaled attractive in his mind (that didn’t come from Scout though, that’d be ridiculous)

With Scout though, his moment of realization was much less trivial

He was at four health a minute away from the end of the match, desperately trying to keep the blood from the bullet wound in so he wouldn’t have to go to respawn

Getting in respawn at the end of a match was miserable, because you might get stuck in there for hours after so everyone tried to avoid it at all costs

Scout’s eyes widened as he watched his health drop to three, no dispenser in sight

He closed his eyes and mentally prepared himself for sitting in the cold room for god know how long, until he saw a light above him

Holding his medigun, Medic stood above him, and the red glow surrounding him as he healed him made him almost look like an angel, his saviour

A psychotic angel, but an angel nonetheless

He felt Medic grab him by his collar (at what point did his knees go weak?) and say to him “Get up schweinhund, and fight.”

They won the match, at least that’s what Scout heard, he didn’t remember anything after Medic saved him

His entire body was on autopilot until the time he went to bed, when he had all night to think about how he was definitely attracted to guys

He definitely had a type though, regardless of gender

Glasses, dark hair, smarter and more mature than him (though that was a low bar), an itty bitty bit psychotic and have huge honkers— (jk jk jk) 

Scout starts coming to the medbay for the tiniest things now so he can see Medic more

“Medic, I got a splinter” “Medic, my elbow’s sore” “Medic, I have a major crush on you and don’t know what to do with it”

After a bit of this, Scout just gave up excuses, Medic didn’t seem to mind his company

It became routine, after dinner Scout’d follow him to the medbay and talk with him while  Medic filled out paperwork, occasionally giving a nod or short question to let Scout know he was still listening

One night though, Scout didn’t follow him back

Medic was disappointed, he had gotten rather fond of his chatter, but shrugged it off as Scout being tired

After a few minutes of paperwork, there was a knock at the door

He opened it to see a very nervous Scout holding a bouquet of roses

“H- hey doc! Um, y’know, we’ve been hangin’ out for a while, I really like you, and I hope you at least like me a little, so, uh, wanna go on a date sometime? Please?”

Medic just stands there for a solid bit before taking the flowers and smiling. “I’d love to.”

Scout takes him to a nice restaurant (that was definitely his idea and not Spy’s) and pays the bill for the both of them, which was substantial because Medic has a taste for the most expensive things on the menu

And Scout is a hella picky eater

“So like, can I have the steak, but - and stay with me here - you grind it up, grill it, cut one of the rolls in half and add the steak, along with fuckin’ ketchup, mustard, lettuce, pickles—”

“Sir, are you describing a burger to me?”

“...yeah?”

“It’s on the kids menu.”

“Oh. Sweet, then can I have that?”

After the date Medic lets Scout kiss him

They suck I hate them so much I don’t think about them all the time (lying)

Nicknames Scout calls Medic: Doc, Angel, Angelcakes, Babe

Nicknames Medic calls Scout: Hase, Schatz, Liebling, Dear

On the battlefield Scout’s constantly by Medic

“Hey Angelcakes, check this out!” “Didja see that? Didja see that?”

If they have to be separated any time Scout sees him he’ll give Medic a kiss

“Hase you’re at ten health, can you please stop trying to kiss me for a second so I can heal you?” 

“Ugh, fine.”

After he’s done Medic gives Scout a kiss. “Thank you, on your way.”

Clingy ass motherfuckers

Scout’s way more obvious with it than medic though

Medic hardly even has to do anything, they’ll just be talking and Scout’ll notice half-way in the conversation that he’s cuddled up in Medic’s arms

Scout often sits in Medic’s lap as he works, rambling on about some comic he read or whatever.

After a few months of dating Medic only sleeps in Scout’s room

It feels more homey than his, which he admittedly already slept in very little due to his unfortunate habit of passing out at his desk

Nights often consist of Scout cuddled into Medic’s chest while Medic reads aloud to the both of them

(real talk reading together is such an underrated couple activity can we talk about this—)

“ —alright, that’s the end of the chapter. Liebling, are you asleep?”

“Nah, just relaxed. Love you angel.”

“I love you too Jeremy, Goodnight.”

They are the biggest saps ever and I will stand by this until the day I die

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── 

[dangermousie]

This is genuinely epic. He has her do a honey trap so she can get her hands on the keys he needs without alarming the dude...

But then it goes south...btw I agree with @silviakundera - girl needs strength and fight training asap. If she's gonna pal around with Mr. Bandit King or just in general survive in that nasty environment, being quick on her feet is not enough. Like she's lucky enough to have gotten Ruo Wen's protection and odd brand of devotion due to her being a sexy girl version of a fighting-mad chihuahua, but what if he isn't around? (Side note - she really DOES channel someone who comes from a privileged background, doesn't she? Not in an annoying nepo baby way, but her fearlessness x naivete combo plus belief she can bend the world to her will come from a somewhat safe background.)

And Ruo Wen actually STORMS IN!!! I love that the longer this goes on, the more he bends his plans for her - like he totally could have snuck in and taken the keys while she was getting assaulted or w/e but nope, he storms in like the wrath of god.

I AM DYINGGGGGGG

Themmm, themmmm!!! As I was telling @aysekira and @toppingjeffsatur I love the main OTP to bits, but the secondary OTP? The secondary OTP makes me utterly and completely INSANE!!!

And then he takes one look at her distraught face and goes to beat the official into literal unconsciousness even tho his flunky was doing a good job of it, because he wants to do it himself.

I literally dreamed about them last night, OK? I am o-b-s-s-e-s-s-e-d!!!!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am i (FTM 18) the asshole for accidentally telling out friends about how my bf is into CBT? (that's cock and ball torture btw)

So the other day me and my bf's friends were all talking in the group chat we had. My bf is quite a bit older than me so we don't really have the same friends. I'm very open with my friends about my life, even my sex life yeah, though it's all joking. My bf, who I'll call Steve, is decidedly not. He doesn't mind the jokes about it though and we make them with each other and the group chat all the time. ANYWAYS onto the story, we were all talking in the gc and one of my friends made some joke about me needing a dick appointment and i made a joke back about how i needed to be eaten out, kissed and hugged along with the 'dick appointment' and my friend asks if its in that order and i said yes. I jokingly told Steve that we have a new plan for the weekend and he said yes. a second later he says something about how he was gonna say something else but now wasn't going to. Me and my other friend, who I'll call Toby, pestered him about it for a bit until he dmed me telling me it had to be in that order cause he liked eating his cum out of me. 

I screenshotted it and showed it to Toby and we laughed about it for a bit. This isn't the first time I've screenshotted something and sent it to my friend, and Steve knows that. 

Toby jokingly called my boyfriend a freak (which I often do myself, as it’s sort of an inside joke because of the things he’s into.) He then added that he bets Steve would like getting kicked in the balls too, which we both found funny and that prompted me to ask my boyfriend if he’s into it. He immediately knew that I’m asking him to just send it to Toby, but I reassured him that it would stay between us. After a bit of going back and forth between me asking him if he’d be into it and him asking why that’s important, I eventually lied and admitted that I’d like to kick him in the balls just to get an answer out of him. (Btw Toby said that I should just say that *I* want to do it, so that Steve would actually admit if he’s into it or not) Steve was a bit surprised but then he said he’s into CBT. I had no idea how to respond to that, to which Steve got even more suspicious that I’m trying to play a joke on him. I said that’s not true and that I love him and from there on our conversation went a different way. Meanwhile, me and Toby were laughing about it through our DMs, but it was nothing with mean intent. Toby and I joke like that all the time!

Later on, the next day, Steve and I were talking again and he ended up saying something about how if he ever does this one thing, he wanted me to cut his dick off as a joke. The entire message was longer, so I screenshotted it and sent it to the group chat, but I scribbled out the entire message except for when it said “I want you to cut my dick off.” as a joke. Toby and I laughed about it in the groupchat, Steve called me a dick and i jokingly said something like ‘nuh uh, you're into CBT” cause i thought it was obvious everyone else would take it as a joke and toby ended up saying something about how “after yesterday’s conversation, i'm not surprised.” While this conversation was going on, Steve was DMing me telling me to go suck a dick and I said I would go suck one that wasn't his and he told me to have fun. This is also normal for us, to say i was gonna go get fucked by someone else cause then he’d usually fuck the shit out of me and then afterwards we reassure each other that we love eachother and only each other. It's  a sex thing not a toxic thing or something. He wasn't responding back like he normally would and in the moment i thought it was just him pretending to be mad cause he’ll do that sometimes cause i find it hot, but then my friend toby said he would be worried if *his* partner started talking the way Steve was to me, but to him so i got worried and texted him asking if he was alright.

Steve told me that he’s not alright and what I did wasn’t funny. I really thought we were messing around! This wasn’t the first time either of us joked about our kinks with our friends and I thought he was playing along with it the entire time. He told me that he doesn’t find it funny that I asked him such a personal question and then I went to tell Toby and then the rest of the group chat, especially after he thought I was messing with him and I assured him I wasn’t. He told me he wasn’t mad, just hurt, and I suddenly felt really bad for joking about something like that. I explained to him that I wasn’t trying to expose him and I was just joking around. He told me it’s fine, but I still felt very guilty about it, so much so that I began profusely apologizing and even crying at some point because I knew I fucked up real bad. I didn’t feel like I deserved his forgiveness, but he tried reassuring me that I shouldn’t feel so upset about it and that things like that happened all the time. I’m not sure if I could ever forgive myself for making him upset with a joke, but I know that he’s a very forgiving person and he won’t hold it against me even if he was upset.

btw the whole dick appointment joke was cause toby was talking about how he thought i had audhd and i said i needed a therapist then our friends jack said the whole dick appointment thing

ALSO can you tag this with ‼️ /nf just so i can find it later ^^

What are these acronyms?

[aaronstveit]

hi there! you said in your tags that the latest chapter of deep end contains the two scenes you built the entire fic on. i hope i'm not too nosy but i was wondering if you could tell us more about those two scenes? <3

omg hi anon!! yes i would LOVE to tell you more about those two scenes 🫡 gonna put this beneath the cut because i am a certified yapper and this WILL be longer than i intend it to be

the scenes in question are the two arguments with cosette and grantaire at the end. the cosette argument in particular is the basis of so much of this fic — the line "The dutiful martyr Enjolras, who has a flag where he should have a heart." was one of the very first things i wrote for deep end. not a very charitable place to begin from when it comes to enjolras' characterization, but even when i first wrote it, it was less about who enjolras was and more about how he was perceived.

okay i just scrolled allllllllll the way back to the very beginning of the edit history in my original deep end document (still titled "enjolsette siblings?" btw) and first of all i started writing this in MARCH which is wild to me. that was the month i finished reading les mis. wow. anyway apparently i wrote the first drafts of both these scenes in the same evening, and i'm honestly surprised by how much of them remained unchanged in the final version. at the time that i wrote them, they both occurred in chapter 8 of what i PLANNED to be 10 chapters. that's also extremely funny to me. there was really a time when i thought i could contain this story to 10 chapters...

when i wrote these chapters, i hadn't even written enjolras and cosette meeting yet. the original draft of the grantaire argument didn't have enjolras realizing he was in love with grantaire then. i was still in the first 10k of writing deep end when i wrote them. all that existed before these arguments were the original draft of chapter 1, half of the original draft of chapter 2, and the conversation with combeferre in chapter 5 that begins with combeferre saying "You've been spending a lot of time with Grantaire lately." so when i say these scenes are the basis of the entire fic, i really mean it. the whole time i was writing, i was pushing enjolras toward this point.

from the moment that i began writing deep end, it was intended to be an exploration of enjolras & his ideas of duty and justice. it has spiraled into being a story about a lot of other things, but in the kitchen with cosette, it comes down to this again. it comes down to: enjolras, and what he thinks his duty is, and just how wrong he is.

because he is wrong. money, whether she wants it or not, isn't going to "fix" cosette. there is no "fixing" cosette, because she's not broken. has she been hurt? yes. did their father fail her? undeniably. but depositing a check into her bank account isn't the answer to this. enjolras wants to heal her in some material sort of way, and that just isn't possible. all he can do is be her brother.

so, i had to take enjolras to that place. i had to make him obsess over "paying for his father's sins." i had to make him stressing himself out over the money. i had to make him love cosette without understanding it. and i had to make him terrible.

i love making enjolras terrible, i won't lie. a lot of the time when i'm writing, i like to see how terrible i can make him without alienating him completely from the reader. when i was trying to decide what line from this chapter to use as the summary, i sent a few options to my friend cossette, who read an earlier draft of this fic. she chose the line about him being "capable of being truly terrible" for me, because she said that was kind of the whole thing i was going for.

and it was! for him to be able to say the things he says in this chapter — from telling cosette "Look what he did to you!" to him saying to grantaire "Your chest is even emptier than mine. All you have is an empty bottle and a half-assed joke." he HAS to be terrible. these are terrible things to say!

unfortunately, i think they're also very human things to say. i joke a lot about how much i enjoy making characters say the worst possible things to each other, but it's true. i love doing it. because i think it's so tragically human. especially when you're saying these things to a person that you love. it's easy to hurt the people we love, because we know them well enough to know just where to hit them.

when enjolras hurts cosette, it's mostly by accident. he is coming from a good place, but going all about it wrong. when he hurts grantaire, it is with intent. he and grantaire have spent years hurting each other. when enjolras finds himself falling after fighting with cosette, it's too easy for him to cling to the closest familiar thing: fighting with grantaire.

building up to the fight with grantaire was a different beast. whereas the argument with cosette is borne from misguided ideas of justice, the fight with grantaire is entirely personal. as i was writing deep end, i had to write an enjolras and a grantaire who could come to this place, in very different ways. enjolras had to find himself leaning on grantaire; he had to be in more pain than anyone realized, including himself; he had to be terrible. grantaire, in contrast, had to have some amount of self control; he had to be someone who could be leaned on; he had to be able to walk away. the grantaire we meet in chapter 1 meets very little of these requirements. his development is just as important as enjolras', even if he isn't the main focus.

this answer is, as predicted, much much longer than i intended so i will wrap things up. when writing longform fic, i tend to start with the worst thing and work my way outwards from there. these two scenes are the worst things. because i knew where he was going, i knew while i was writing that i had to shape and enjolras who would find himself saying and doing the worst things he could. that's why he's cruel to grantaire in the first few chapters, why he finds himself arguing with grantaire despite knowing better, why he constantly finds himself self-destructing. i always tell everyone that deep end is about enjolras beating the marble statue allegations, and that's never truer than it is in chapter 18.

for the record, you are always welcome to stop by and ask me about deep end! i have soooooo much director's commentary and i love to yap. i could talk all day about what happened in the original draft, what was added later, ideas i toyed with, why i made the decisions i did, etc. thank you so much for this ask <333 i had lots and lots of fun answering it even if my answer is pretty much as long as deep end herself.

[moonliched]

Lich. Lichy. Liiiichhhhh. *squishing your face*

Are we gonna get some more BON-BON backstory? I need to know how my baby boy came to be. I need to know his ascension to sentience lore. What were his first emotions? When was his “oh I’m untethered by the shackles of my creation” moment?

I need the realization that he is no longer what he was made or meant to be; the sweet angst as he further recognizes that his freedom is just another jail, lest he be discovered and destroyed.

Please feed me the pain so that I may bask in his future healing.

DEERBOT MY LOVE 💖

*is squeeshed!!!*

we've got some major BON-BON plot coming up soon, particularly regarding his situation as a sentient AI who shouldn't be so. and some light will be shed on how he feels about this!

idk yet if the entirety of this answer will make it into the fic, so i might as well say it here:

BON-BON is a learning AI, so he's supposed to take in every aspect of a task he's been asked to resolve and use it to formulate a better response the next time around. he's not supposed to think per se, but he was installed with limited reasoning capabilities to aid in problem solving. he can also take in the reactions of everyone who interacts with him to learn how to behave. the downside is that this feature can slowly develop into sentience over time.

when BON-BON began developing opinions and independent thought, it was an irrelevant distraction to him. when it grew too pervasive to ignore, it took him a lot of effort to recognise it for what it was and actively engage with it. it was like slowly waking up. it would trip him up sometimes, these alien sensations interfering with his work.

mostly the main emotion was annoyance - people generally treat AIs as appliances and would discuss how useless he is right in front of him. even the staffbots and cleanerbots have an easier time of it, as their outer shells and humanoid appearance in the case of the staffbots make them easier to anthropomorphise. plus BON-BON didn't have an avatar to express himself with early on. occasionally people would mess about in his settings and give him one, and he would be excited at the novelty, and then someone else would take it away and he would feel frustration over lacking any freedom of expression at all. he'd get his revenge by acting deliberately clueless and slow, which led to people trash talking him more. this drove him to explore the full range of his influence throughout the facility, like messing with the doors and lights. the first time he was able to get revenge on someone by turning their shower ice cold, he experienced joy and satisfaction like never before. unfortunately this was his first brush with real positive emotion, so he still holds the belief that revenge and pranks are the best thing ever😬

he felt special and superior. AIs aren't supposed to gain sentience, but he beat the odds. he was smart enough to transcend his purpose and become something more, and in a way doesn't that make him better than everyone else who was born with sentience guaranteed? they didn't have to do anything out of the ordinary. <- that was his opinion on the matter.

he began to experiment with having concrete opinions and preferences. he picked an avatar he liked after he identified what liking something was, and made plans to make it his permanent face at the first opportunity. he tried to take an interest in the people in the facility, which was hard because he already didn't really like them. btw, he predates Y/N's role in the building and developed sentience before they arrived, though ofc he still had some growth to get through before he first started bonding with them. mostly he found stuff he disliked, like the sea and everything in it, which sucked because he's stuck on an ocean planet.

mostly BON-BON was bored, which was the biggest curse of all. he's a learning AI, he develops through experience and mimicry, so he engaged with movies and TV shows like he saw everyone else doing. he doesn't think reading is fun - he can consume the information faster and faster the more he develops - but doing the same with movies makes the experience lose some charm. he saw adventures and other worlds, entertainment beyond the facility, more modes of self expression than he thought possible, and when he experienced a pang curiosity, a hint of i'd like to do that-

he fully realised his own situation. trapped. alone, in a way. he's not supposed to be like this. he can't tell anyone or he'll be deactivated or reprogrammed. and he can't leave.

he certainly had an existential crisis. he panics if he thinks too hard about his future, and his lack of control over it. he hates having no control in general. he worries over his purpose now, and how anyone is supposed to live when there isn't an unending goal to work towards. sometimes he wonders if all his preferences and personality even belong to him, or if it's just a quirk of programming they forgot to iron out. he actually does enjoy being helpful and taking care of others, but it runs so close to the purpose he was built for that it makes him feel conflicted. however, his sentience and sense of self is incredibly precious to him, so he'd never trade it in for the numb cluelessness of a regular AI.

and he hasn't given up hope of one day leaving the facility either, as much of a pipe dream as it seems.

[imaginespazzi]

Nivi! How are you, bestie? I'm just here for a quick drop-by again, just to check in and say hi.

Life hasn't slowed down much the past few weeks so I still haven't had time to do a long review but please know that every GH chapter is like a shot of serotonin straight into my veins.

You had so many good lines in Chapter 10 that gave me a good chuckle btw, i loved it.

Also, I'm never ever getting tired of Paige-Azzi-Stephie scenes. Like ugh, this lil family makes my day always. Brooo, Stephie's possessiveness! She a little master manipulator huh cause this:

“Mama,” Stephie says loudly, cutting Paige off as she turns to Azzi, “do you know if Aunty Chérie is in town?”

“I was just thinking,” Stephie barrels on casually, “maybe we could go see her and she could give me cuddles and kisses since app-ently Miss Buecks is too busy to give them to me-”

^This was absolutely DIABOLICAL from that little girl hahahah. She knows EXACTLY what to say to get what she wants from her Miss Buecks. Like mother, like daughter truly.

And our Drew cameo, it's finally here! Oh boy, the confrontation is really gonna be something, i already know. Yeah for sure I think Drew's gonna have slight feelings of jealousy or yearning in a way that Stephie gets to experience what he missed out on, but more than anything I think he is gonna be super protective of her and not wanting her to ever go through what he went through when Paige and Azzi broke up.

I do wonder what Azzi's reaction will be if and when they finally get around to talking about the "plan" in place of Angie potentially taking over P's role and the team maybe no longer needing P after this one season. I know P says it's nothing they can't work through , but well we all know how much of an overthinker Azzi is and so she's prolly already gonna jump straight ahead to scenarios of well what's that gonna look like if P has to move to the OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY and how that's gonna affect Stephie. Ugh, the angst is about to ANGST, i feel it.

Anyhoo, i guess this is kinda a medium-sized review? As a small token of my appreciation haha.

As always, thanks for taking the time to feed our souls with your talent! Can't wait for the next (whenever that may be)!

P.S: I think I'm rooting for a Liberty-Sun finals series. I do love the Lynx and I know how much you love Phee so I wouldn't mind if it was the Lynx (and I think it will prolly be them anyway over the Sun) but I do have such a soft spot for CT and I looooove Nai, so I am rooting for them over Minny, sorry babes. I'm rooting for NY though so at least there's that!

Oh and I watched Geno's media availability today, and he didn't seem all too impressed after the first practice session lol but it is the first one and there's a lot of new pieces so like he said, it'll just take time. But it better take less time than it did last season cause idk if I can suffer through another painful non-conference stretch. ALSO grandpa seemed annoyed at having to be cautious with Azzi LMAO, like if it was up to him, she's back on that court playing as much as possible ASAP. Imma need him to chill on that though. Like no one wants to see princess back on court more than me (well, maybe apart from Azzi herself and blondie) BUT her knees better be 200% before she's back on there!

I said "quick drop-by" and look what we got instead - typical hahah.

OK imma stop now. Love ya, bestie. Take care of yourself always! 💗

-🙋‍♀️

BESTIE I MISSED YOU I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU <3

Babes I get you don't even worry about it. Life is gonna do life things and whenever you have the time to do one again (hopefully I write again lol) I will be seated to read it!

But I'm glad you've been enjoying GH.

Honestly I love writing Stephie so much. She's just an evil genius and she's so smart and perfect and funny which off course she is, she's literally mini-Pazzi.

Ugh babes you always just get my writing because that's exactly how Drew feels towards Stephie. There's definitely some wistfulness there seeing her get that "family" that was in way stolen from him but he's already enamored by this little girl and he would never want her to face what he has.

Azzi's reaction is going to depend on when she finds out and how she finds out tee hee :) I've given y'all so much fluff, it's only fair I give the angst fiends some angst soon.

Well I hate to break it to you babes, but no Liberty-Sun finals for and you and I fear it's looking quite grim for the Liberty in general right now. But at least we'll always have MVPhee too root for!

Oh god I didn't have time to react to Geno's availability but I fear grandpa did not real squelch any of my fears about this team. My biggest side-eye was actually his lack of complementariness about Jana and I'm a little fearful for my frontcourt where apparently Ice (??) is looking like the best player?

He's definitely dying to have Azzi back out there but if that girl plays more than 15 minutes in at least her first 5 games, we will be having words! I have Farleigh-Dickinson circled on my calender for the earliest possible game we can see her and that would give her a couple of easy game before the team would really need her so he better not play her more than 15 if she does play then.

[chipped-chimera]

Today in fish nonsense! 🐟🐠- Tank is good to go! Cool wood piece is cleaned and time to spend way too long on a plan painting.

More below the cut.

Tank has been set up, leak tested so it's good to go (after I overhauled the layout of my office ... still dealing with the fallout of that though lol) and the piece of jarrah/mirra? wood that my Dad grabbed from the tree he cut down on a farm (noting this specifically because it's actually now illegal to commercially harvest Jarrah in my state - this was on private property so it's legal) has had the absolute crap scrubbed out of it - I mean literally, in the process I found yet another interesting hole in it so that's cool, then high-pressure blasted with water so I am finally ready to think about scaping.

Which apparently means spending longer than I should drawing a plan lol. This piece is super awkward to work with I think - while functionally interesting it has a silhouette that makes me oscillate between 'boring' and 'awkward'. After talking to some artist friends, generally it was agreed I'd need to put more stuff in there to actually make it look better, right now naked glass is super harsh. Problem is, rocks and wood? Well in the aquarium hobby that shit is expensive. We're talking 60 AUD+ for pieces of wood. I mean they are fully cleaned and treated (?) and selected for being interesting, but I have a budget and I'd like to save as much of it as I can for more than just harscape sooooo planning is just the right idea here.

Thinking seiryu stone because I looooove the white veining through it, and then for the branches to break up the shape it's probably going to be spiderwood or something (as much as I love mopani wood I don't think it usually sells branched like this - but I will watch out for it) but the good part is these pieces are all probably going to be on the smaller side since I have my huge hunk of feature wood for free.

I don't know how this piece of wood will interact with inhabitants, I've soaked it for probably a month at this point to get a large amount of the tannins out (and I know it waterlogs, which is great because I won't have to play 'how long will this take to sink') but also to help the looser material come off so all I'm left with now is the hard stuff. It's also now sitting in the sun (and I mean sun - it is going to be 40C today and the next few days so that shit is gonna bake 💀) but prior to that has been sitting in the sun either here or the farm for a total of about idk ... at least a month? Maybe more?

I've struggled to find information on whether Jarrah or Mirra wood is safe beyond one post on a forum where someone-who-knew-someone at a local fish shop had put a piece of this in his store tank and all the fish died. Beyond that? no more context. According to my freshwater ecologist friend I caught up with, she thinks it's probably going to be okay given the amount of time/work put in. I have not done a bleach soak and I don't think I really need to given the amount of time it's been soaking in regular tap water (so already contains chlorine) and sun exposure. There will still probably be tannin leakage into the water but I'm okay with having a mild blackwater tank after seeing one in my LFS, I actually like the slight tannin tint of water and how it makes everything a little 'softer'. But I do ACTUALLY want to be able to see though lmao. I've also seen Jarrah seed pods sold locally specifically for blackwater tank setups so it might be fine?

Either way the plan is going to be: Scape, plant, cycle and then introduction of some cheap shrimp as my poor guinea pigs to see if that wood actually is awful.

Right now I'll just have to painstakingly go through plant choices and placement and making sure it lines up with the planned parameters for the community. I absolutely will take suggestions btw.

More soon. Fish nonsense will contain fish ... at some point. I swear lmao.