#I have on more than one occasion gotten one of my (not sex repulsed) ace friends all hot and bothered by accident

[dorkbunny]

Asexual Musing #1

The next time an allosexual aphobe or exclusionist or whatever tries to tell me that us aces are shoving our asexuality in their faces, I will gladly show them this.

I will gladly show them the various pictures that I have received from people showing me their naked lower regions when I have never asked nor wanted to receive such things and when I clearly stated that I was asexual and uninterested in such things on all of my social media profiles.

I will gladly show them the literal hundreds of messages I received in one channel of one discord server alone, which all are 100% sexual and along the lines of talking about traditionally male-associated genitalia (even though I asked them to stop multiple times).

I will gladly tell tell them about the multiple occasions that my family has told me “yeah, but it might just be a phase” or “you’re still going to get married and have kids, right?” or “you’re gonna meet the one someday and things will probably change” or “so do you have a boyfriend yet?” or “why bother adopting kids when you’re perfectly capable of having your own and continuing the family line?”

I will gladly show them the messages that I have received on social media saying “hey sexy” or “you’re hot” when I am out as aroace online - the messages that I have even gotten from allosexual people infiltrating asexual spaces and shooting me innuendos and pickup lines in asexual places despite my bios clearly asking people to refrain from doing so.

I will gladly tell them about signing up for an LGBTQ+ studies class in university, excited to learn more about the group of people I love to be a part of, and finding out that most of the articles we read and half of the things we discuss have a very distinctly sexual undertone, as if non-sexualized LGBTQ+ isn’t possible and as if asexuals don’t exist, and finding out that asexual perspectives wouldn’t be covered, even in such a queer space.

I will gladly show them all of the countless songs about sex and love, all of the countless books about sex and love, all of the countless movies about sex and love, all of the countless everything about sex and love, and point out the distinct lack of non-sexual content and asexual characters as compared to that.

I will gladly show them all of the ads that use sex to sell their product, and all of the ways commercials are aimed at cisgender, heterosexual, heteroromantic, amatonormative people, and all of the ways that these ads and commercials portray sex as the end-all, be-all way to be close to a loved one and romance as the end-all, be-all of relationships.

These aren’t experiences strictly limited to asexuals, but they often hurt asexuals (more specifically, sex-averse or sex-repulsed aces) more than they would anyone else, especially when we are out of the closet and the person or persons initiating these sexualizing incidents and comments knows of our asexuality. Why? Because it feels like they are taking our asexuality, saying, “yeah, I know, but I don’t care.” The rampant sexualization of everything and everyone happens to allosexuals, and it is no less unacceptable then, of course, but for asexuals it can become downright erasure.

Maybe we would stop having to shout about our asexuality if you would just stop shoving forced sexualization and amatonormativity and ace erasure down our throats and expecting us to just sit there and take it.

[ajokeformur-ray]

Hello!!! If match ups are open (it looks like they are BUT I HAVE BEEN WRONG), could I have a match up for Bleach and Death Note? I'm about 5'03" (my sister says shorter but it's LIES) with light-ish brown and natural dark blonde highlights and blue-grey eyes. I'm fairly quiet in person, especially if I don't know you, and even if I do know you because my main thought process is "I'm gonna screw this up somehow fuuuuuuck" because anxiety is Rude and needs to Stop. (1/4) - AroA

That aside, I tend to be a bit over dramatic at times, thought it's usually in a joking way. I tend to stim a lot, usually by things like pacing in circles, playing with my hair, and playing with my nails. I've been told I'm intelligent and a very good listener, and apparently come off as someone with a lot of self-esteem or whatever but that is also a lie my self-esteem and self-confidence is nonexistent whoops. (2/4) - AroA

My favorite things to do in my downtime are taking naps, yoga, or cooking, and my favorite animal is probably a rabbit or a cat. I love sweet foods, physical affection, and being warm, and I have a horrible fear of needles and a hatred of all things spicy (it's so... so bad I can't even eat anything with a lot of pepper RIP). (3/4) - AroA

I have also been stuck in numerous toxic and abusive friendships in the past, so I tend to be overly cautious and suspicious of people's intentions, which I have gotten yelled at by my parents for. On more than one occasion. I identify as bigender with she/they pronouns and panromantic/asexual (sex-repulsed). Thank you for doing this if you can, and sorry it got so long, I got a bit carried away. I hope your day goes well! <3 (4/4) - AroA

Matchups are always open, so don’t worry! Ahhhh a fellow ace, hey there! :) I hope you like your ships; don’t worry about it being long, the more detail you send in, the easier and more accurate your ship (hopefully) is. <3

Bleach - Ukitake!

- You’re generally quite quiet, which would work out well with Ukitake’s own gentler nature. As far as having anxiety goes, he would understand completely and would do absolutely everything in his power to help you as best he can. He’d show you that you’re safe around him and that he’d always be there for you.

- The way you wrote the request kinda suggests that you have a dry sense of humour that’s also self-depreciating, which would sadden Ukitake because he wouldn’t like to listen to you beat down on yourself, however he’d also understand and would be compassionate. Every time you say something against yourself, he’d frown and would gently correct you with a compliment mumured in your ear as he holds you to him.

- The two of you have quite a lot in common. As far as naps go, if he has a spare moment or two when he walks in and you happen to be curled up in his seat, he’d debate joining you and probably would, tbh. You’d often fall asleep alone and then wake up in his embrace.

- As Ukitake’s illness progresses, he’d be in the Healing Bay more and more, and that may include needles - he’d make sure that you know that you don’t need to go with him when/if this happens, though he’d appreciate it more than you know if you do decide to go with him. 

- When he’s cooking for you, he’d make sure that the food suits your taste-buds - I don’t think he likes spicy food either, so it’s little trouble to him to make sure that you like the way the food is seasoned, too. It’s all about the subtle flavours in food!

- He’d be angered upon hearing of the various toxic relationships and friendships you’ve had in the past and would offer to help you make friends with people that are actually healthy to be associated with. He’d listen to you and would offer you advice and support whenever you needed it.

- He’s a total cinnamon roll and would love and cherish you.

Sorry about the cut, I didn’t realise it only posted half of the request. Thank you to whoever pointed it out! ^^

Death Note - Matt!

- Matt is probably the most relaxed out of all the Wammy boys, so your quietness wouldn’t have much of an effect on him and tbh, he’d probably prefer someone that he can just relax with. As far as anxiety goes, he’s also understanding and would do his best to help you whenever you needed him. He’d be there with listening ears and opening arms for however long you need him; if that’s what you want. If not, he’ll do anything else you ask of him.

- Matt would appreciate your sense of humour as it matches his own, somewhat. When you’re being over-dramatic, he’d play along with it, finding it amusing and just enjoying being in your presence.

- One of the ways that he would show affection for you would be to keep a stash of all your favourite sweets somewhere in his room. When you’re having a raging sweet tooth day and just can’t get enough sugar, whatever’s in the stash is all yours. Just, save him some chocolate. 

- Whenever the two of you go out on a date or have a night in, he’d make sure that the food is suited to your tastes. He can always season his portion afterwards. If there was ever a situation where needles were compulsory, he’d be holding your hand the whole time. But mostly, needles are kept well away from you. He isn’t necessarily fussed by them, but he understands.

- Matt would be so mad about how people in your past treated you, and would offer to help you with forming healthy relationships with other people; friends that would treat you right from the very get-go. He really wouldn’t be very surprised that you’re suspicious about his intentions, but he hopes to show you in time that he’s very much genuine in his love for you.

- Matt loves you for you. He’d completely dote on you and would encourage and support you in all of your ambitions and dreams.