#I have no idea who the LAH guy is but he seems cute too

[hoesamo]

My Arm Hurts So Much

[shinjukuspiritcommittee]

Top 20 2021

My Favorites (updated)

Hello my readers, it’s been a while since I just posted something not related to a headcanon and I am doing one right now. I just wanted to take a bit of a break to just get SOMETHING on here on my days off work. Plus I’m just trying to find my groove when it comes to writing again so hopefully this helps me just get back into the mood of making a post more often lol. I wanted to revisit this topic for a while just because we’ve had a lot more events and a lot more alts in the game were added. And I know for a fact LifeWonders reads these posts in some capacity because I have meme’d an AR into the game with my top picks from the last list I did for Christmas 2019. No I didn’t. I’m just joking around and I know LifeWonders doesn’t read this.

Anyways rather than just make up a list on the spot like last year I decided to use the Housamo Sortmaker (Link: https://club.housamo.xyz/sortmaker/ ) to try and make a list that’s more revealing to what I was thinking at the time. Since I talked about 20 characters ish last time I’m just gonna read from my 20th place to my 1st place spots and try to justify whatever I was thinking at the time. Anyways-

20: Marchosias and Susan: This one was a surprise for me if I’m being honest but I’m just gonna blame the fact on Shukou’s recent involvement with LifeWonders in the form of Live A Hero and how Ryekie and Mokdai live in my headspace rent free whenever I think about the characters in that game. Maybe we can see about getting some LAH headcanons since that’s a LifeWonders property too). So out of all the characters Shukou drew for Housamo why did I pick Marchosias? Easy, it’s been 4 years and this poor man has yet to receive a proper alt or any kind of skin for that matter and I think that it’s a crime. Sure he’s not my favorite but he’s definitely grown on me because he’s just a gentle dad kind of character and his design has grown on me over the years. I just hope he doesn’t get left behind since he has a lot of really interesting and potential things to look forward to in the future given how the main story has unfolded.

19: Shiva/Algernon: The helmet heads are together because DAI XT quickly became my favorite artist for Fire Emblem Heroes and I really just like their designs. DAI XT just knows how to draw robots, armor and muscles well. Also Chapter 11 with Shiva you can read into some interesting perspectives. I don’t want to spoil any of the untranslated content for anyone who’s waiting for the official english translation. But if you are curious Roureem has a blogspot where he posts summaries of the newly released events.

Link: https://housamosummaries.blogspot.com/

18: Cthugha: I love this goober so much. He’d constantly try to act super sentai just trying say good morning everyday. He may not be very bright but that just adds to his charm and honestly I enjoy how he always tries to play the hero in a lot of scenarios because it’s refreshing when they implement him after a bunch of heavy hitting story stuff. I’m not gonna spoil too much about it but I will say he’s more than welcome after everything Chapter 10 and 11 put the reader through.

17: Mineaki: I’ve made a post about him being one of my least favorites way back when I first started this blog and let me just say how times have changed and I’ve learned the value of not judging a book by it’s cover. I still think there’s something a bit off about Kowmei’s style for his characters, but Mineaki has definitely grown on me. He’s a caring instructor who does watch out for his students even if it’s not always in the most direct way possible. Not to get into too many spoilers he’s got a lot of intrigue around him as well and I am curious to see his role get expanded down the line.

16: Ded: Housamo is the reason I really like christmas. The Christmas stories despite following a similar structure to each other do tend to be my favorite stories. Ded himself is also just another good dad character. He’s also two guys for the price of one, so I mean… you know… you’ve got the forever ask your other dad situation. There wasn’t much thought put into this choice I just like santa as a concept because I think the outfits are cute, it’s always nice to get something for people you care about on Christmas and Ded is the perfect embodiment of both sides to Christmas.

15: Shinya: Everyone we need to manifest buff Shinya for 2021, this is not a drill. This is legitimate. We must make Taromati’s and my wish come true. To be more serious again he’s just a sweet and gentle character. He’s also drawn by my favorite Housamo artist. Their characters always just look so naturally good. I’m just surprised he hasn’t gotten much of an alt given he’s perfect material for Valentine’s day. He’s just a soft boy and I would love for him to be in more things because I just enjoy seeing him.

14: Jacob: I have to be honest Jacob is on here because every time I look at him he just gets more handsome to me. I wasn’t all that impressed with his introduction and we don’t know much about his background but I’ve just been drawn to him more and more. Maybe it’s just because he’s drawn by GomTang? I just like looking at him and I can’t help it. To speak a bit less crass he’s another gentleman kind of guy and those are always nice.

13: Shennong: Yeah I like the doc a lot. Firstly, I’m a huge sucker for big bulls and Shennong fits the bill. The white fur really adds to his appeal visually and the purple horns give off a bit of an unnatural appearance. Shen feels like someone who’s been touch starved and alone for a long time given how he acts as a character and when we actually hug him I just lost it. He always has others well being on his mind so he’s not afraid to jump in and help, or give a much needed lecture about when you need to take better care of yourself. He just comes across as very well balanced overall.

12: Heracles: I won’t lie- at first he didn’t interest me much. He looked incredibly plain when among the rest of the cast and he seemed like the typical “bait” character since the banner had Echo, Barguest, Gyumao and Snow. But after reading the translation for Valentine Time Slip I was taken aback at how much of a gentle giant he turned out to be and I just really liked his interactions with the others in that event. And honestly his special quest from that year was one of the more unique ones given the slower pace and more romantic vibe it had. After the event warmed my heart I did a complete 180 and I just knew I really liked him.

11. Yasuyori: Before I start praising him I feel I have to justify why he didn’t quite make top 10 and it will have some mild Chapter 10 spoilers. To be as vague as possible his resolution just didn’t vibe with me at the end of Chapter 10. Like it wasn’t a bad resolution and it was the right choice to make but in my opinion there really wasn’t a moment I felt was clear where he made a choice for himself. Everything just sort of happened around him and it felt like he didn’t really do much to improve his situation. To an extent I kind of see that being the idea given his origins and the story he’s based on and there is some semblance of him coming to terms with himself alongside his isolation being portrayed pretty well, but I just wasn’t satisfied with it as much as I would like to be. With that out of the way, oh my god I just want this boy to never stop smiling and I just want to give him hugs constantly please he just deserves to be happy!!! Yasuyori is a character who’s got a lot of baggage and he’s just trying to find ways to properly cope with his trauma and not repeat past mistakes and I just really like that idea. His role in Xmas 2020 (sorry I just forgot the name of that event, but its when he gets his alt) was a much better representation for his character in my eyes. I’m not gonna spoil anything like I keep saying but he isn’t one to disappoint in future appearances and I just hope this lovable lug keeps getting the support he deserves.

10: Hephaestus: A spicy way to start the latter half of the list. I just want to give this lad a hug and tell him he is worthy of love. But at the same time he is a little shit… and I love that. I can’t fully explain why I grow a paternal instinct in me seeing this grown man sob about his mother but I just do. I want to keep him safe and give him all the affection he wants. Though I am aware a lot of Hephaestus’s interest in his parental figure is… questionable. I am just gonna say I would accept his love for what it is and he just wants approval.

9. Shuten: I’ll be honest I have no proper reason for why I like Shuten so much. He’s just a cool and reliable guy. He just seems like a go with the flow kind of person most of the time and he’s a bit more direct than most of the characters which I always appreciate. Plus I have an unspoken bias for naop guys in Housamo.

8. Durga: While not number 1 on this list, I still really like Durga. She’s quirky but not to an annoying degree, she’s determined and definitely very confident in her own abilities. Her growing to be more sociable throughout her events is something I enjoy seeing because it really creates this sense of growth.

7. Kyuma: I get a lot of people don’t like Kowmei’s art but I really think we should look past it because Kyuma is one of the sweeter picks. He’s someone who just wants to prove himself for his own worth and not what David can provide, but David is part of him and it just creates the potential for a good arc. Plus this boy is unintentionally smooth and will just take your heart when possible. I honestly want to see Kyuma more in events because he’s honestly the jock that carries 3 of the 4 brain cells. He’s also the last one without an alt so I’m just hoping he gets one in 2021 because he really deserves one in my opinion. (Also fan art makes him really cute).

6. Tomte: Tomte is relatively new but honestly his event in 2019 really endeared me to him. I’m trying to be spoiler free because the best way to enjoy these stories is for yourselves but let me just say his arc in the event was really endearing to me and much more than I was expecting. His fan service is also incredibly hammy and I love it. Visually Tomte is one of my favorites, I love his multi colored hair and starlit pupils cuz it makes his otherwise more generic look have some flare. I knew I liked him out the box and when I read about him in the summaries and can’t wait to read the official translation for him. I was just very endeared.

5. Tetsuya: Tetsuya fucks. Moving on…

Jokes aside this one’s a bit simple. I have no shame in admitting I think he’s attractive and his whole resistance towards wanting a relationship is cute in a weird roundabout way. When he says no I just want it MORE. I just really like duo haired tsunderes.

4. Kengo: Kengo 3rd alt 2021. Please LifeWonders I need my favorite Summoner. He’s a bro and that’s what counts. Kengo has got your back, not afraid to rely on you, a very fun and dynamic guy. Sure he’s not that bright when it comes to making plans or any book smart, but there are times where he’s the best at being able to read the room or just understand what someone needs to hear even if it isn’t always what someone wants to hear. His bullheaded nature is actually one of his redeeming qualities because it’s nice to just not overcomplicate things and just understand what’s actually going on. Yes the early story didn’t do many favors for him but to me the events, especially the later ones, do much more work for his character. To me, at least.

3. Ashigara: Ashigara is best bear, and I will defend that stance in 2021. The main thing that draws me to Ashigara is that I can see a bit of myself in him. He gets very emotional when he gets left alone, he’s very loud when with his friends, has a tendency of speaking his mind- just someone who wears his heart on his sleeve. I also appreciate that in spite of the negative he isn’t someone who backs down when the going gets tough and in a few instances he’s able to hold his ground physically at least.

2. Wakan Tanka: Love at first sight. This ray of sunshine still persists as the number 1 husband, but number 2 character. Firstly I am a huge fan of the partial beast aesthetic. The buffalo ears and the horns  are absolutely adorable. Secondly he’s a perfect body type; he’s not too muscular but not exactly flabby. Third he is just so positive and I love that. He’s someone I admire and wanna hug.

1. Taurus Mask: The more things change the more they stay the same. I’m still a big Taurus Mask fan for all the same reasons as last time. I just… relate to this boy. He is an incredibly shy boy who uses his public persona for confidence. Maybe I’m reading too much into it but it’s like we’re soul bros!

So yeah, my tastes haven’t changed in a year and a half.

[sgstories123]

Shy Mark

Joey looked at Mark and sighed. He is so cute but unfortunately so shy. She has been trying so hard to get him to fuck her and be her boyfriend but alas, she has not been successful.

Joey first met Mark two weeks ago. She had gone to watch a basketball match to support her friend Shawn who was playing in the match. Mark was one of their teammates. She noticed then how tall and muscular Mark was. He had a boyish face and short, cropped hair. When Mark was shooting the ball into the hoop, he had an intense, serious look. When the ball dropped through the hoop, he will break into the most charming smile. Joey was mesmerised by Mark. After the game, she walked towards him and introduced herself to him. Mark just smiled and left without saying anything.

She asked Shawn about Mark and realised that Mark was exceedingly shy with girls. It seemed that he had broken off with his girlfriend for more than six months but was too shy to find another girlfriend.

“Are you sure you are interested in him?” Shawn had asked her. “He is cute but very shy. His girlfriend told me that he doesn’t initiate anything. So he is extremely boring.” Shawn looked at Joey and smiled knowingly. “Knowing your appetite for sex, you are going to be disappointed.”

Joey kicked Shawn on his shin, in jest. It was true though that Joey had a reputation of always changing her boyfriends but she did not think she was slutty. She preferred to think that she was simply trying to find a better one. It was also true that she had been telling many people of her sexual exploits. Perhaps that has given people the impression that she was insatiable when it comes to sex. But she convinced herself that she was simply not being hypocritical. Many of her friends love sex too but pretend not to so as to appear pure and innocent.

“You know, it is easier to be my girlfriend than Mark’s girlfriend.” Shawn continued. “I will be much better than him. How about it?”

“Fuck off! I know you so well that it will feel weird to be your girlfriend.” Joey countered.

“But seriously, if you get Mark to be your boyfriend, you may be quite lucky. He has one of the largest cock I have seen.” Shawn seemed suddenly serious.

Seeing Joey’s disbelieving look, Shawn continued, “Really. I am not joking. We played basketball together so I have seen him in the shower.”

“Then why did the girlfriend leave him if he is so good.” Joey asked.

“Ha ha! Not everything is about a big dick, Joey. If so, my girlfriend would have left me for my dog. Have you seen my dog’s dick? Twice my size, lor,” laughed Shawn.

“Never seen your dick nor your dog’s dick.”

“You want to see?” Shawn offered. “But seriously, since you like him so much and both of you are my friends, let me see what I can do.”

Over the last 2 weeks, Shawn had brought Joey along whenever he was meeting with Mark. They had gone to the movies, shopping, Starbucks and even to the beach. Joey was flaunting her body in a skimpy neon green bikini that had Shawn staring at her non-stop. She was amused when she saw Shawn spotting a hard cock through his swimming trunks. It seemed that it remained hard throughout the afternoon. She did not realise that Shawn was thinking sexually of her. Afterall, they had been friends for many years.

She was thrilled when she realised that Mark was also attracted to her. Or maybe it was just her body. She caught him looking at her several times. But as he was wearing board shorts, she could not see if he was sexually aroused by her. She tried several times to talk to him but he merely murmured some response and left abruptly. It was so frustrating. She even tried to smile at him seductively, or pretend to touch him accidentally on his muscled torso, but he merely turned away. He even rejected her request to put sunblock on her. If Shawn did not tell her that Mark previously had a girlfriend, she would have suspected that he is gay and not interested in girls.

Mark had tried to help Joey again. He has invited Mark and several of his friends to his house to watch a “live” football match, serving cool beer and pizza. Again, Joey had tried to talk to Mark but to no avail. She has given up and decided to sit away from the group of boys who were nosily eating and drinking while watching the match.

Joey was just taking another sip from her beer can when Shawn and one of his friends, Vinod, came up to her.

“Hey, Joey. I just heard from Vinod here what mark’s weakness is. He is so shy that he freezes up when a girl talks to him. But if the girl is passive, he becomes less shy. You are too aggressive lah.”

“Yeah.” Vinod chipped in. “You know how he got together with his previous girlfriend? He was interested in her but did not dare to approach her. He was sending her home after class but she fell asleep in the car. Then he plucked up his courage to kiss her. She woke up and he felt so guilty that he became her boyfriend. You can try that too.”

“So what should I do?” Joey sounded interested. “Do I pretend to be asleep?”

“I thought of a better idea. But it depends on whether you agree or not.” There was a mischievous glint in Shawn’s eyes. Vinod was also grinning. Joey had an uneasy feeling. These guys are plotting something.

“What is it? I know it must be something naughty.” Joey looked at Shawn and Vinod.

“You can pretend to be drunk. We will lay you on my bed and then we will fuck you in turn. Mark will be so turned on seeing us fucking you. Then we will encourage him to fuck you too. But by then, we will leave the room. Once he has fucked you, you can pretend to wake up and confront him. He will have no choice but to listen to you and be your boyfriend.” Shawn proposed.

“Wait. All of you will fuck me? That’s like 7 of you.”

“Yeah, including Mark, that’s eight of us. You will definitely be sex-tisfied.” Shawn smiled.

“Wah liao. You win lor. All of you get a free fuck, what do I gain?”

“You also get a free fuck. No, you get 8 free fucks.” Vinod grinned at his own joke.

“And you get to realise your dream of fucking Mark and getting him to be your boyfriend.” Shawn was pushing all the right buttons. Joey could not think of a reason to say no. After what Shawn had been doing for her the last 2 weeks, it seemed right to reward him for his effort. But she was apprehensive about fucking the rest of his friends.

She knew Vinod as he was also playing on Shawn’s basketball team. She also knew a couple of the other guys, Bryan and Weijie as they were also on Shawn’s basketball team. She was less familiar with Derrick, Rahim and Irfan though. She looked at the group of boys again. Most of them were athletic and muscular. It might actually be enjoyable, she reasoned to herself.

“Ok. I can go along with it but on two conditions.” Joey finally agreed.

“What?” Shawn and Vinod almost shouted in unision. They had clearly planned this and were excited that their plan worked.

“Keep your voices down!” Joey whispered. “All of you must wear condoms. I don’t trust where you have been sticking your dicks. I don’t want to get any STDs.”

“No problem. I have plenty in my room. I have lubes too. I guarantee they will all use condoms,” promised Shawn.

“And I can confirm and double confirm for you, no problem-o!” Vinod offered. “What is the second condition?”

“Does the rest of the guys know about this plan?” Joey asked.

“Nope. Only the two of us.” Shawn replied.

“Okay. Then the second condition is that we keep it a secret between us. No one else must know that I am pretending to be drunk.” Joey looked at the two boys.

“Of course. Just our little secret. No one else will know.” Both boys agreed immediately. “Let’s do this!”

The three friends looked at the rest of the group. All of them had their eyes fixed to the television and did not seem to realise that a plan was being hatched. Shawn and Vinod each held one of Joey’s arms and pretended to lift her from her chair.

“Hey guys! Joey is drunk. Come and help us bring her to my room!” Shawn shouted.

A few of them stood up and walked over, helping Shawn and Vinod carry Joey to the room. They laid Joey down on his bed and she put up a good show of pretending to be drunk, mumbling something incoherently, but otherwise remaining quite motionless.

“She is quite pretty. What say we fuck her?” Joey heard Shawn proposed.

“Are you crazy? That is rape! You can go to jail!”

“She is a friend. She won’t report us to the police. Anyway, she won’t know. Look at her! She is dead drunk.” Vinod responded.

“Well, I am going to fuck her if you are not. I will go first and you can watch.” Shawn announced.

Shawn turned Joey over and removed her t-shirt. “Fuck! Look at those boobs! It must be at least a C-cup.” Shawn moved his hands under her body and expertly removed her bra. Joey felt a tinge if excitement but reminded herself not to make any noise or movement. She felt the cold air touched her nipples. She could feel several pairs of eyes staring at her but she did not dare to peek.

Shawn closed his lips on her nipples, replacing the cold air with his hot lips and tongue. Gosh! He is good at this, Joey thought to herself. Shawn alternated between licking her nipples and gently biting them, sending small sparks up her entire body. Joey clenched her teeth, trying to suppress herself from moaning.

Vinod stepped up to Joey and started to remove her skirt and panties. He got between her legs and started licking her cunt, jabbing it regularly with his tongue.

“Hey, are you going to watch the rest of the match?” Joey heard Mark’s voice and she realised that Mark must be seeing her naked and being fucked by two guys. She was worried if he will be upset.

“Shh! We are taking turns fucking Joey. Don’t wake her up!” Shawn commanded. “Move over, Vinod. I am going first.”

Shawn took out a condom and rolled it over his cock. He positioned his cock at Joey’s cunt opening and found that Joey was already wet and ready for him. He shoved his cock in one stroke, pushing himself to his hilt. He had been fantasising about fucking Joey ever since he saw her in her neon green bikini at the beach. Finally, he knows what fucking Joey’s cunt is like. Tight, warm and pure pleasure. He lifted her legs on his shoulders and continued fucking her. He bent down low and whispered softly in Joey’s ears.

“Fuck! You have such a tight cunt! This is so good! I want to fuck you so many times.”

Within minutes of pumping, Shawn ejaculated in the condom. As he pulled out, Vinod was already ready to fill the gap in Joey’s cunt. Without another word, Vinod plunged his cock into Joey. Joey could feel that Vinod had a longer cock. He was reaching much deeper into her. Joey could not contain herself any more and moaned softly, hoping that no one could hear.

“Fuck! She is enjoying herself! She is moaning!” Someone exclaimed.

The group of boys seemed to be too aroused by the fucking scene. No one seems to be objecting anymore. Joey could feel hands squeezing her boobs, tongues licking her nipples and lips kissing her. She dared not open her eyes to see who was doing what, but she was hoping that Mark was one of them.

Vinod too ejaculated soon after. Two more cocks filled her cunt and provided her with continued pleasure. She did not know whose cocks were those but the she knew the fifth person was Irfan.

“Irfan, you fucking idiot! Put on a condom!” Vinod hissed. Joey was relieved that Vinod kept his promise to ensure that everyone had a condom on. She did not want to get pregnant or STD from this.

“I don’t like condoms. They are too small for my cock.” Irfan complained.

“Then you don’t get to fuck her.” Vinod was insistent.

“Okay, lah.” Irfan reluctantly agreed.

“Then I go first. I cannot tahan any more. She is so hot.” Joey recognised Bryan’s voice. She felt Bryan’s cock struggling to get into her. He was hurting her with his thrusting. Is he so inexperienced or maybe even a virgin? She shifted her body slightly so that it was easier for him to enter her.

“Argh! This is so tight! I am fucking coming!” Bryan ejaculated just as he entered her. Joey felt sorry for Bryan. After all his effort, he came so quickly. Bryan just laid on top of Joey without moving.

“Move it! My turn!” Irfan did not seemed happy that Bryan was delaying his pleasure.

Irfan was not lying when he said he had a big cock. She could feel his cock stretching the walls of her vagina when he entered her. Irfan moved slowly but with each thrust, Joey could feel waves of sensation flow over her. But it was soon over.

After Irfan, another person took over and continued fucking Joey. After several minutes, he ejaculated and withdrew his flaccid cock from Joey.

“Mark, finally it is your turn. Show us all what your giant cock can do.” Shawn challenged.

Joey felt her body freezing up. This is it. This is what she had been wanting for two weeks.

Joey felt a pair of warm hands pulling her legs apart. She could feel the warm tip of Mark’s cock pressing against the lips of her cunt. Is Mark’s cock really that big? Was it longer than Vinod’s or thicker than Irfan’s?

Mark slowly push his cock into Joey. Joey gasped. It was definitely thicker than Irfan’s. Even though she has just been fucked by Irfan’s thick cock, she could feel Mark’s cock pushing the walls of her vagina even further out. It was pain but followed swiftly by blinding pleasure. Mark was still pushing his cock into her. He was already reaching very deep into her yet he continued to push, way beyond where Vinod’s cock last touched.

Joey moaned again in pleasure. She could nonstop herself.

“Fuck! Mark! You are giving her so much pleasure that she will wake up! Pull it out!”

“Shut up! Are you jealous? You fucking came like 2 seconds.”

“I going to take a shower. Anyone coming along?” Joey knew that was part of Shawn’s plan to draw the rest of the boys away. She heard movement and then all was quiet. The rest of the boys must have left the room.

Mark seemed more at ease when the others left the room. He continued to push his huge cock into Joey until their bodies met. He fucked slowly, withdrawing his cock and allowing Joey’s cunt to close up before pushing himself in again, forcing her walls to stretch out. Joey was already pleasured by 7 cocks but she could still feel pleasure from Mark’s large cock. No wonder Shawn complimented Mark’s cock.

Mark increased his pace and Joey continued to enjoy the waves of pleasure that each thrust bring. Mark leaned forward and kissed her breasts, nibbling and licking each of her nipple. He moved up and kissed Joey softly, running his hands through her hair, all the while pumping her cunt and causing her to release rivers of pleasure juice.

Joey could not take it any more. She allowed herself to moan more freely and kissed Mark back. Mark froze for a moment, surprised at the sudden movement. Joey opened her eyes. “Mark, I want you to fuck me and be my boyfriend!”

Mark tried to pull himself out of Joey, but she wrapped her legs around him, not releasing him. “Fuck me!” Joey commanded again.

Left with no choice, Mark continued to fuck Joey, quickening his pace. Joey pushed Mark down on his back and she rode him in cowboy position, grinding herself on Mark’s large cock.

“I am cumming!” Mark whimpered. Joey continued riding Mark till she felt his cock growing soft and finally plopping out of her cunt.

“Can you be my girlfriend?” Mark whispered. That brought Joey the largest wave of pleasure from the fuckfest.

[burlybanner]

Do Bruce and the guys ever get really cute notes, cards, or art from fans? How do they react?

Every once in a while, yes! As to how they act...

***

The Avengers © have a huge, dedicated PR team, but within that hard working PR group exists a few subgroups who have the privilege of opening and reading the mail dedicated to individual Avengers. Thousands of letters go through the PR department every day, and they have just enough staff to skim through the actual letters and separate the fan mail from the emergencies (although there’s yet another, bigger team just for scanning emails). 

The public relations department has a secret, though. Fans who actually take the time to write particularly endearing fan mail fly to the top of the heap, and those letters are immediately forwarded to Steve. And really, no one minds; Steve’s the only one who really pines for snail mail these days, anyway.

Most of Bruce’s fan mail had been written in crayon by enthusiatic youngsters, and they’d all shared a small chuckle over them. Sometimes the PR department accidentally sent mail that contained more insults than praise, and Steve held back delivering those to Bruce (they’d pretty much ended with, “…but you should still lose some weight”).  But today seemed like a turning point from all Bruce’s backwards complement mail, and Steve stifled a smile when he entered the kitchen. 

“Fan mail?” Tony asked when Steve plopped a parcel of letters in his lap.  Tony was used to Steve opening them before passing them on; he kind of preferred it, actually.

“Yep,” He tossed a few on the table that were his own, and then held up seven more. “And ‘Doctor Banner’ got a few good ones this time.”

“What–?” Bruce looked up, half-listening. He looked adorable in the morning, Steve thought. Even more so that he’d been caught in mid-chew, and his left cheek pouched full of food, like a chipmunk. “Fan mail? For me?”

Steve chuckled. “Yes, for you. And you shouldn’t be so surprised, Muffin.”

Bruce looked at the letters a little awkwardly and swallowed his food before taking another slow bite from his pancakes. The addresses were actually in pen, and not crayon this time. A few young fans adored his alter-ego. “For the Hulk, surely.”

“No, not the Hulk. For you.”

That caught Tony’s attention as well, and he peered over at Bruce’s mail. “Ooh, Brucie has secret admirerers.”

“Cut it out,” Bruce grumbled softly. But he did take one of the letters and carefully inspect it. “You read these, right, Steve? No ticking time bombs or suspicious white substances?”

Steve laughed. “Bruce, no. I promise. They’re ah…” Bruce frowned when Steve’s cheeks pinked up. “They’re kinda cute. And a few. Well. they’re borderline pornograp–”

“Gimme!” Tony grabbed Bruce’s letters before Steve finished the word.

“Hey! Those are mine!”

“Nope, nope,” Tony said, holding a hand against Bruce’s chest. “If they’re filthy, I have first dibs.”

“Why?”

“Just because,” Tony said, opening the first letter. “Dear Doctor Banner,” Tony began. “Blah-blah-blah-science, blah-blah-blah noted works, blah-bl…” Tony trailed, and his lips began curving into a near perfect immitation of the Grinch. “Oh, ho, ho. I see what you mean, Steve. Ooh la-lah. I think I’m jealous.”

“Okay, no,” Bruce said, hastily snatching the letter from Tony’s hands. And Tony looked positively disappointed that he couldn’t keep it. “If you’re making that face, I need to know what’s in it.” Bruce adjusted his glasses amd peered carefully at the text. “God knows what’s going on in that devious mind of yours.”

“It’s not me, I promise,” Tony said, sharing a knowing glance with Steve. And he and Steve both began smiling like twin devils as Bruce continued reading and clearing his throat at key passages.”It’s your fans, Brucie. They’re into you. Seriously into you.”

“What…?” Bruce felt his face grow hot at some of the words on the page. It began as a thank you, but then…they didn’t even know him, but they wanted to do what with him - feed him? Nibble his–

“Oh, my.”

Tony laughed. ���It’s a thing, Brucie.”

“Not only is it a thing,” Steve said, joining Bruce and Tony at the table. “But it looks like there’s some kind of society of people who love seeing you as…as you are now.”

“Fat, you mean?”

“Apparently.” Bruce snatched another letter from the table, and was amazed at how much more detail the second letter divulged. Enough that he let out a small squeak, which Tony pounced on. 

“Gotta read that one too,” he said, plucking it from Bruce’s scandalized fingers. “Hmmm,” he sighed, skimming through the words. “Oh, yeah. We’re gonna try this.” He briefly glanced over at Bruce and bit back a chuckle. “See how he’s reacting, Steve? Our little Brucie likes it.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yeah, ya do. You’ve got that look on your face. Horrified, sure, but also really, really turned on. Like when the three of us get out the tools and–”

“Yes, yes, fine,” Bruce said quickly, interrupting. His expression became somewhat pained and a little pleading as he looked up at Steve. “Are they all like…that?”

“No. I just saw two, and I think you read the highlight reel. The others are pretty tame by comparison. Although, for some reason, every one of them wants to take you to a buffet.”

“Yes, I noticed.” Bruce shook his head and scooted from the table. “I’m not quite sure how to take any of that…flattery? I feel a little uncomfortable.”

“Welcome to the prime rib table, Pooh Bear,” Tony said, grinning. “You are a bona fide beefsteak to those folks.”

“I’ve never–” he shook his head. “If anything, I would’ve thought I’d repulse them. Surely this is another way of winding me up.”

The teasing tone dropped from both Steve and Tony’s voices. “No, babe,” Tony murmured. “It takes all kinds and shapes, y’know? And those letters,” he said, nodding towards them, “aren’t meant to tease you or make you mad. They’re just, well, fans of bigger people, I guess.”

“We’re not the only ones, Bruce,” Steve added. He rubbed Bruce’s neck, smoothing away the tense muscles. “I’m used to receiving letters about how I look, although it is a little embarrassing.”

“And I get a lot of propositions,” Tony chimed in. “Or paternity suits. Depends on the time of year.” Bruce chuckled a little; he’d seen some of Tony’s letters. “You’re the new dish on a very select menu, m’man. And some people really like what they see.”

“I guess so,” Bruce sighed, still uncertain. “Not sure how I feel about it, though. And it still sounds closer to being at my expense than anything else.”

“I know. But it’s not. They genuinely think you’re more cuddly than the rest of us. And that’s okay.”

Bruce’s lips dipped into a small frown, but he opened another of the letters, and it was more praise over his body. But not in any overtly sexual way; the author just told him thanks for showing a superhero body that was closer to their own. A hero for the people, they said. And after all the negative Hulk press he had to pause and swallow back the growing lump in his throat. 

He put the third letter back in the envelope and gently tapped the table. “So more of an everyman, less of a nobody…maybe that’s not as bad.”

“Nope, not at all.”

“And never a ‘nobody,’ Bruce,” Steve added softly. “You’ll always be an important ‘somebody’ to us.”

“And what a body. Can I say that? Too crass?”

Bruce chuckled at Tony’s quip and fondled an envelope in his fingers. “It’s fine, Tony,” he muttered. And the more he thought about it, the more he warmed to the idea. It wasn’t so bad, being admired. 

And yes, Bruce did continue to receive positive feedback for his physique - praise even - and in time the uncomplimentary letters regarding Bruce began drying up. But there was that time a particularly talented artist drew the three of them in flagrante delicto which caused both Steve and Bruce to blush bright red…Tony took that picture, promising to destroy it.

But he actually scanned it for his phone, and then he sent the artist a new, Stark-issued pen tablet. 

Anonymously, of course.