#I have never ever ever ever felt endangered here due to being trans. Like in my immediate area

[pumpkinland]

I found an incredibly detailed interactive map of the 2020 election results and apparently despite living in a red state in a pretty equally split city my specific neighborhood like my. Immediate Neighborhood voted 75% blue I'm like amazed by that. Also lmao most of the places I go were also pretty blue and if they weren't they were not overwhelmingly red. Mfw I keenly know where I am reasonably safe

[bluejaysfeathers]

There’s something that has been on my mind for a while and it’s still not letting me sleep so I want to talk about it a little, and that’s the reasons that Twitch Partner X33N decided to ban me from his community. There’s a few things I want to clarify from the beginning. First, he is not obligated to be my friend, because that’s not how friendship works. If he feels that what I said to his moderator was a betrayal then, well, that’s not what I intended, but I quite literally cannot stop him. Second, this is not about what Karacorvus said. X33N has made it very clear that he doesn’t think her words were transphobic, and at the end of the day it doesn’t matter. And finally, this is not me accusing him of being transphobic. I fully believe that he has always had good intentions toward the trans/nb community and he has been very apologetic in the past about his difficulty with they/them pronouns. People can not find things transphobic without being transphobes themselves.

So. Depending on where you want to get into it, this story begins two years ago, or a year and a half ago, or last summer, or a month ago. Frankly, thinking about the good times we had and the advice he gave me about my mental health just hurts right now, so I’ll skip over the details, but suffice it to say that this man knew some extremely personal things about me and I trusted him implicitly. Last summer, given the state of the world with the pandemic as well as his perfectly understandable personal stress, his streams shifted away from the focus on the community and mental health as he, in his own words, began to rely on streaming with others to make up the energy. At the time, I tried to bring it up to him and was essentially told that he wasn’t forcing me to watch, and that the focus was shifting due to his energy levels. Before that I had been a dedicated viewer of every stream I could catch, but after that I started skipping a few of the more obviously non-community-focused streams. Which brings us to the last-summer portion of the beginning of this story. I’m starting here because he seems to include it in his reasoning, and because it seems to have colored his view of everything I did since then, including an incident that involved several friends of mine who were not him. Essentially, after a while of seeing that nothing was changing, I messaged a moderator (whose last message to me before this had been “I never reveal my sources”) something along the lines of ‘do you think X33N would even notice if we all didn’t show up one night bc that’s what’s going to happen if he keeps this up.’ (I’m not going back through long deleted dms to find exact wordings). This moderator took my message to X33N without my knowledge. He messaged me, ostensibly to “check in” which made me happier than I care to remember, because at the time I had been struggling as had everyone, and it was nice to think that someone had noticed and cared enough to check on me. But alas, it turned out to be a secret test as to whether I would tell him what I’d said, and when I didn’t do so he viewed that as a betrayal and dishonest. It took some time and communication for that one as it felt like all the honesty I had given him was being tossed aside, but we did talk it out, and as far as I could tell, went back to a slightly bruised but recovering friendship.

This should lead into the aforementioned situation involving people that were not him, but at least one of them would be genuinely endangered by that situation becoming public so I will summarize it as drama, which a mutual friend mentioned to X33N and then brought his reaction to me. His reaction had seemed upset with me, so I reached out to apologize and X33N reassured me that he hadn’t been upset and just wanted to point out to the mutual friend that he knew what was going on. Cut to the next day (or the day after? My sense of time last year was... well, about where everyone’s was) and X33N was asking other mutual friends whether I was leading a conspiracy to get him to add me back on snap (this conspiracy was news to me but whatever) and accusing me of fomenting drama because... honestly this is one of those times where I don’t care to speculate on his motives, he said a lot of things very fast while I was tilted about the snapchat conspiracy and I don’t think I correctly grasped why he was upset with me, but I distinctly remember him bringing up the previous ‘betrayal.’ This was also when I stopped joining in the community among us games, which seemed fine by everyone involved.

All this apparently came to a head about a month(?) ago, when he, karacorvus, and some others were trying a new game. Kara said to one of the other streamers, a man who had seemed perfectly happy with his character model, would he please change his character to a man, etc. There was some uncomfortable laughter, Kara doubled down on her comments, a friend messaged me to tell me they had been uncomfortable with it as well, and I took the problem to a friend of mine who X33N had modded and who I trusted to handle the situation. This mod told me that I had not been the only one uncomfortable, and, when I said that I had been surprised to hear such comments on X33N’s stream pass unchallenged, replied by pointing out that Kara had a big community. I replied with something along the lines of ‘well... there was a time when that wouldn’t have mattered more than his allyship but I guess a lot has fucking changed with his priorities’ and the discussion moved on, seemingly productively, and ended on a friendly “thanks for bringing this to me/no thank you for taking it seriously,” and I didn’t think much more of it, although I did resolve to ask X33N about the whole well she has a big community comment the next day if he seemed in a decent mood. Maybe if I’d talked to him that night things would’ve gone differently, maybe my fate was sealed as soon as I was given the no-win statement of ‘she has a big community’ and put in the position of arguing with a mod or agreeing that X33N would change his mind on his statements of his community being welcoming to all in pursuit of someone else’s community. I’ll never know, I guess, because as I was saying goodnight to my friend X33N messaged me to tell me he was banning me over my pattern of betraying him behind his back. He kicked me from his server and had me blocked before I had even shaken off my shock and confusion- remember, at the time I had no idea what would trigger this, his last words to me had been ‘we totally good yo’ and my conversation with his moderator had seemingly ended amicably. It’s only now, after some very dear friends didn’t buy in to what he said about me in his discord (that I had been sowing discontent among “community memberS” about him “not making a stink” over “comments bluejay felt were insensitive”) that I am able to know that it was that part of that conversation that he was upset by. According to those who spoke with him, it’s not clear that he even knew I said what I did in reaction to his moderator claiming he would let transphobia slide because karacorvus has a big community, and I’m not sure I’ll ever know because the moderator I spoke to also blocked me. Which means that I lost two friends that night, not even counting the multiple people who believed his side of things from his discord without hearing me out. I can’t say that I blame them, I would’ve struggled to believe it myself.

There’s a part of me that still hopes X33N will realize that what I said was the best I could do in response to the situation I was given and reach out, but I kind of doubt it. I messaged him from an alt account, admittedly rather angrily, to ask that he at the very least correct what he said about me in his discord, and he had my alt banned from the server we’d had in common and seemed very sure of his position. As I said, he doesn’t have to be my friend, but I wish that he hadn’t taken such steps to harm my friendships with others from his community, and the fact that he has no obligation doesn’t stop me from missing the parts of our friendship that were good- I know I haven’t really laid them out here, but I was genuinely thankful for whatever power led me to him, and we did have good times. Both the serious mental health kinds and the playful friendly competition in beatsaber kinds, and many in between. I miss him and I hope he one day sees that his friends can bring up issues from his streams with his mods without it being a personal attack on their friendships. But most of all, I hope that by writing all this down it will stop bouncing around in my head.

[love-takes-work]

Rebecca Sugar on QUEERY

QUEERY is a show hosted by Cameron Esposito which is about sexual diversity and identity. The show had Rebecca Sugar on as a guest to discuss her own identity and the queer-positive messages she incorporates into her art.

You can listen to the episode here.

I wanted to share a rambling description of what they talked about on the show because the importance of the identity aspects of Steven Universe kept coming up, and as a person from a marginalized and less visible identity, I relate to a LOT of what @rebeccasugar said about community, coming out, and the importance of visibility.

I wish I could have a chance to interview Rebecca about this (or really just have a conversation about it), but my platform’s not really big enough probably to make it worthwhile--my YouTube where I do education about queer topics (mostly asexuality, but there are other intersections) only has around 5,000 subscribers, so it’s not a huge audience. But I’m a queer Jewish creative-workaholic female creator who’s been saying some of the same things she says in this interview for literally years, and it’s just so amazing to hear someone else saying them.

I’d love to have a discussion of how both asexual and bisexual people get the “not queer enough” treatment sometimes and are accused of doing it for attention or co-opting resources meant for “real” queer people, and how very very very important it is to see ourselves in our media so we know we’re real and not alone. The stories we tell are how the world talks to itself, and if you’re not represented there, you feel like you’re not part of the world or its stories. We should all be able to be part of that. As a queer creator myself, I‘m finding that I want and need to incorporate that underrepresented perspective into my writing, and the experience has so many nuances and unexpected aspects that I wish I had someone to talk to about. That and how not all important relationships are romantic; friendship is always sidelined and represented as  lesser, but I think friendships are properly represented on Steven Universe and I appreciate it so much.

I’ve also had the same experience Rebecca had with going to a college campus (where I was a speaker) and hanging out at the LGBT Center with a group of kids who have the kind of community I never had when I was that age, and I’d always thought I didn’t need it, but being there with people who all had this thing in common and knowing it’s a place you can be you, I think I had a weird mourning feeling tied up in gratefulness that this generation has more support than I did.

If I interject with personal comments I’ll put them in bold. On with the interview highlights!

Cameron introduces Steven Universe to her audience and says if you're not watching it you should be. After some info on the tour she's doing at the moment, she has Rebecca Sugar introduce herself.

Cameron compliments the show and discusses the music Rebecca writes and plays on ukulele. Rebecca discusses how she did comics and studied animation but music was really a hobby. She was surprised that she got to incorporate that into the show. She used to do busking in an eight-person band, playing the banjo ukulele, like in the subways and stuff. They discuss street performance and puppetry for a bit.

Rebecca had been on QUEERY before, and she says her first time she was very nervous talking about her personal identity. They had to cut a bit when she cried about it. She feels very positive about being out as bisexual, and loves being able to talk about it, but it can be intense.

She didn't want to give the impression that she was ashamed or sad about it just because she cried--she loves being able to be open about it. For a long time Rebecca thought she wasn't allowed to talk about it, and hadn't even considered being out. (I had the same feeling about it, and that was reinforced by people telling me “why do you need to talk about this? this should be private.” And yet they did not understand how casually, how freely, how without fear heterosexuality was inserted into everything they did and said, from facing no qualms about saying who they thought was hot in a movie to casually talking about their partner without worrying it would make someone think differently about them or even be dangerous.)

When she was a kid, other people's responses were mostly like "you can be with whoever you want." So she figured the floor was open. She hasn't dated much and is shy, and now she's with Ian (who's a man), so since she wants to spend the rest of her life with him, she figured she would never really have the opportunity to "be out" because her relationship is with a man and people don't really interpret that as queer. She said she thought she would only need to be out if she was with a woman.

Rebecca wants to reach people on this subject--and it's new to her to be able to reach people on this subject!--so she's very excited to be able to explore it also in her cartoon. She suggested that a hundred thousand children "knew she was gay" (though "gay" isn't exactly it), but she hadn't had that conversation with her family.

She wanted to base the stories on her own experiences, but at the same time she wasn't sure anyone else would relate to it. She also discussed how if bi people talk about their identity, they want attention or want to be cool or sexy. She said that didn't fit at all with the way she felt about being bi. She mostly felt worried that by being in a relationship she was just a liar all the time.

Cameron spoke up to say proof or external representations don't dictate identity. Elaborating, she says that her being gay herself has nothing to do with her wife, Rhea, but at the same time it has plenty to do with her because Rhea is in her life.

Rebecca says she was stunned to acknowledge at age 28 that labels can matter--that she could still be with the person she wanted to be with AND be out--she didn't have to be closeted. She said usually being bi is acknowledged in media as a person who is with many people, or as a phase you go through in college. She didn't know you can be a "shy bisexual."

And now she's become free to explore it, and she's so free to connect with these kids who relate to stuff in her cartoon who knew about it more than she did, all these queer kids who get it.

Cameron discussed issues in the queer community from there, discussing how people make choices about their identity and how they present to the world, and who they should be with. Being a lesbian, that doesn't mean she has to be with a cis woman out of fear that someone will disqualify her from the lesbian community if her partner is trans. The boundaries are relaxing. Rebecca agrees and says things are shifting on the spectrum.

They agree also that "Oh who cares, I don't care what your label is" is "cruel by accident." Rebecca says that's kind of what made her want to say she does care--through her platform and her cartoon, she wants to speak to kids that she personally does care and is interested.

It's so crucial to see yourself in your media, especially as a kid. You can internalize that your absence from media means you're not allowed to participate in an "appropriate" world. The idea that kids must be protected from knowing about these things is really damaging. If you REALLY want to protect kids, you'll give them the tools to know themselves so they don't implode or get into terrible situations later due to lack of support. (I related to this a lot. When I did a video on asexual representation in comics and books and TV, a few people went after me like “why do you have to insert this into everything, why do you have to see it? and what about the gay kids who are afraid of being gay so they think they can just be asexual and not have to face it?” But never do you care about what happens to ace teens when they have nothing. We should NOT be told we can’t talk about who we are or have representation because someone, on the path to discovering themselves, might mistake themselves for one of us along the way.)

Rebecca says she knows lack of representation meant she rushed into things with other people because she needed a partner to "explain things" to her. She learned quickly that people expected her to "find out" who she was by experimenting even though she didn't really want to date a lot of people, and she eventually figured she'd learn to define herself based on who she ended up dating.

She was maybe as young as 11 when she discovered she was bi, and people would reply to her with "oh please." At 14 she thought she must "want to be" bi because she didn't date other women. And yet she didn't get to be out until she was 28.

She felt she just couldn't say she was bi. She didn't want people to think she only wanted attention. What you learn when you hear that is that your partner matters and your feelings DON'T matter.

Cameron agreed that "you want attention" is common across the board with queer people. Like why would you need to talk about it? But Rebecca says everyone tells stories about their lives. People criticized Cameron's work and said why do you need to talk about your experience, expecting not everything would come through her experience, when of course it would.

The commenters on Cameron's column on AV Club got super cruel after a while, expecting her to make her column have more diverse perspectives even though it was only ever supposed to be her own, as if they were angry that a lesbian had a platform and the content on it made her identity integral. She stopped writing it because of how brutal the comments got.

Rebecca said she now wants to champion LGBTQIA stuff in G-rated entertainment, and now wants to get into talking about her own perspective and championing it at the beginning of children's lives. When she first started doing this, her loved ones cautioned her to be careful since she might be endangering herself being out, especially since people are threatened by those trying to get the information to kids. It frustrates her that her loved ones were reacting with worry as their first response.

(That happened to me too. The first time I was invited to be on television, two people, one family and one friend, pounced on me with concerns about my safety, and they successfully scared me into backing out of the media engagement. I have since gotten this managed and safely appeared in visual media, though I also acknowledge the appropriateness of the concern because some of my treatment has been frightening and awful.)

In discussing her orientation in her relationship, Cameron asked Rebecca if she'd had much discussion about it with her partner. She brought up a time when the show had recently been released and a couple of girls asked her at an event if she was gay, but her significant other was next to her and she felt she couldn't say "yes," she couldn't say "no," she just really had no answer because she didn't know the answer herself.

She felt very strange and exposed being interpreted as queer, though she sometimes pointed at her relationship with a man, and she was afraid that confirming she's bi would mean she's admitting she's attracted to women and that means she can't be with a man. She wasn't ready to face that but she could make art about it.

Cameron brought up the frustration of coming out all the time--how someone in a bagel store could observe she's buying two bagels and remark "So, bringing one home for the boyfriend?" and the she feels obligated to either lie or come out to a stranger. That's part of why she wanted to do standup comedy and create a space to talk about her experiences. She said she used her art to make herself safe. Rebecca said that makes sense. (I relate to this very hard. “Coming out” is not something you just do once, and though people have a common misconception that asexual people don’t need to do it, you would be surprised how often it’s relevant. Especially for a perpetually single woman of childbearing age, for whom everyone is always demanding a reason, as if being in a relationship is the default and you must have an excuse if you aren’t. That or they think they’re doing you a favor by giving you advice, assuring you you’ll find someone, or trying to set you up with their brother.)

Rebecca brought up getting a letter from a queer group at a college, discussing the importance of community and how her show meant so much to the students there. On the surface she was thinking of it like she's been doing a favor for people who need help but don't have anything to do with her, because hey, who cares about labels, but at the same time she got really emotional while reading the letter, saying she didn't have the opportunity to connect to community herself.

So she decided to go visit, and she came out to them at that group for the first time. She had the practice of saying it out loud, and later was able to come out at Comic Con.

Some of the people at the group were very understanding and thoughtful, which was a great experience for her. She got to discuss issues like being commonly misunderstood because she's with a man. She was amazed that they were interested in her as a person, and she'd already internalized that people only cared about her work and what she does.

In the past she hasn't taken good care of herself; she's a workaholic and runs herself ragged--partly because she didn't care about herself. The discussion of identity really helped her feel like she mattered, because before that she felt that no one would accept or care for her if she was honest about the feelings she had. If you don't like your own love feelings, how can you like yourself?

She wondered how many people were in relationships that they accept that it defines who they are, and there's a piece of their mind they never get to share.

Cameron discussed how having a partner isn't the same thing as having an identity, though it's sort of like a small business you cultivate together. There are a lot of lies we tell ourselves about how that relationship is supposed to feel and what aspects of it are normal. She brought up how people expect her to never want to meet her partner's previous partners, to be jealous of them and angry they exist, while in actuality she was glad to be with someone who'd had other experiences before her and wasn't "untouched." Rebecca agreed that jealousy is romanticized, and Cameron said she's loved people in a variety of ways.

Rebecca commented that partners shouldn't be able to hold the keys to your identity. It can be dangerous, and you need to communicate. She mentioned loving the song "Darkness Among the Fireflies" by Mason Jennings--she'd never heard a song about a partner's previous relationships. And then there's a song by Emily King called "Distance" that's about having space from your partner because you need to reboot, and then returning to them.

She loves these facets of love stories. She wants to tell those stories to kids, because she wanted to have them when she was young. All she had was love-at-first-sight stories that are always heteronormative and don't make sense. They end when you get married, that's it. Happily ever after. And then there are stories about how marriage is horrible! What does that tell kids.

Cameron points out, as someone who's married, it's kind of like having a job you love but causes you unending stress. Rebecca commented "the grass is always greener where you water it." They agree that running a show with your significant other is the best and the worst. And how it's not worth giving up the highs because you'll have to deal with the lows.

They discuss how you can dump energy into shame and suppression is one of the only non-productive uses of energy. Cameron compliments Rebecca on creating a reality where she could go forward into having what she wants creatively without sacrificing attention to her identity that she needed for her health, and Rebecca says the alternative was unsustainable. She's still dealing with it and has doubts about whether she should speak about these things. Cameron says she thinks the voice of doubt will go away.

Rebecca says she loves that the show helped people connect with other queer people or helped them come out. She met a teen at a book signing who is in the teen youth queer community, and she thinks it's so wonderful--she loves that they feel good and don't have to deal with what she dealt with since they have support from an early age.

She says people get excited about representation and how it will do people good, and they'll want to support the show because of what it does for representation, but for her it's not a commodity. It's community.

She wanted to change the world, with putting her message into homes and reaching kids, and she loves that it can bring people into community, that it's the people who matter more than the art.

When Rebecca stopped being afraid and started looking up info about bisexuality, she found out about Brenda Howard, the "mother of pride." She popularized the term "pride," and she's bi and Jewish. She wished she'd had an opportunity to connect with role models like Brenda. Rebecca is still amazed that she's part of a community like this, but Brenda helped create that space.

The interview comes to an end here. Cameron bids her farewell saying Rebecca should be confident and that it's the right choice to be open about who she is--she's doing the right thing.

The end! I do wish I could chat with Rebecca. I'd love to have a talk like this and talk about queer experience, being a queer female Jewish creator, the importance of friendships, less scripted definitions of love, and the vital nature of children's media. <3

[fourteenghostinfo]

Info/Memories

I am always nonbinary and asexual/biromantic unless otherwise stated. I’ll list specific memories (if I have them) under each kin. Also special info if necessary.

Shigeo Kageyama ~

Lots of memories but I’ll list some important ones. I had a crush on Teruki, who was also nonbinary. After my experience with Mogami I became heavily uncomfortable calling Reigen “Master,” which he didn’t question and let me stop calling him that. I cussed to myself a lot, but not around others for fear of offending them. I thought of Shou like a second brother. My parents weren’t very nice or accepting of me. ???% wasn’t another being living inside me, but a deeper instinctual part of myself. I knew this because I was still partly conscious while in that state.

Link ~

Most of my memories are from Breath of the Wild. While I was asleep I regained memories from past lives, making the memories from my current life even more confusing. I deeply loved Zelda, very very much. She was the only one I felt comfortable talking to (or crying around). I liked humming around her too. I ended up collecting every Silent Princess flower I found on my travels and showing them all to her when we were reunited. She was happy but started laughing because they were an endangered species and I wasn’t supposed to be picking them.

Mikaela Hyakuya ~

The first time I saw my red eyes I started crying. Once I started living with the humans again I had constant anxiety, thinking someone would try to attack me at any moment.

Ciel Phantomhive ~

Don’t you dare talk to me about sebaciel I will kill you right then and there. In fact I despise the author of Black Butler and at least 80% of the fans. How unfortunate. I had dependent personality disorder and attached myself to Sebastian because he was my only parental figure left. Things are fuzzy, but I’m pretty sure he was killed and once he was gone from my life I finally started to recover from my trauma.

Pearl ~

I was sorta messy and all over the place. Punk but hyper feminine too. I was extremely close with Steven and we liked to fuse into Rainbow Quartz often. The large fight with Garnet never happened, but I did find myself often disassociating from the others in the group. I liked going out and exploring different human-inhabited areas. During the war I shape shifted into Rose while Pink Diamond was shattered, making people believe Rose was the one to do it. If I did it they would let me go, and I could escape to Earth.

Chat Noir (Adrien Agreste) ~

Depression and other unchecked mental illnesses™. My dad was always cold to me, even before my mother’s death.

Lithuania ~

(Lmao I haven’t watched Hetalia in years) I was very feminine. I became good friends with England, and I also ended up befriending Prussia. But there were lots of other countries I was not friendly with, including Russia.

Shinji Ikari ~

Wow I miss Kaworu yikes. Very few memories honestly. We all returned to life and we were able to continue school, but I’m not sure if that happiness lasted forever.

Kaneki Ken ~

Honestly most of my memories are from my time as Sasaki. I’m not sure, but I may have stayed that way for years of my life. A long time.

Lars Barriga ~

I was a trans boy, which added a lot to my insecurity over my identity. I was bullied as a kid and my parents seemed unable to help. I spent years acting tough and masculine but I was scared and confused. I may have been aromantic. Sadie was my best friend and eventually the only one I felt comfortable opening up to. It took me forever to admit it but I was very happy Steven actually considered me a friend. I tried to refrain from being overly mean and instead pretended to be a chill person who was never awkward, but that often failed. After my death and rebirth and living with gems I became much more feminine and let that part of myself open up, instead of pushing it down, thinking it made me less of a man.

Eri ~

I was actually much older than I ever looked, due to stunted growth. I was around 15 when Midoriya first found me. I ended up living on the UA campus so that powerful superheroes could guard me and I would have access to kids my age to interact with while learning how to use my own quirk.

Steven Universe ~

Bit of a repeat from earlier, but Pearl and I were very close and we loved to form Rainbow Quartz often. Around the time I turned 14 I started wearing lots of girly clothes and flowing fabrics, and I liked putting colorful pins in my hair.

Trainer Moon ~

I had blonde hair and blue eyes, and my starter was Popplio. I was very gay for Lillie. We met up again several years after she moved away, and there was lots of happy crying. I became really close with Gladion, and he liked to confide in me and hang around me when he didn’t have much else to do.

Star Butterfly ~

Marco was a trans girl and boy was I gay for her. As a Mewman, I had sharp shark-like teeth. I had fantasies of being a rock star. I wore lots of spikes and eyeliner to try to make myself look as “punk” as possible but I could never let go of my bright colorful fashion taste.

Max Puckett ~

Gay for Isaac but too stubborn to admit it. I hated drama and really came off as rude and unsympathetic whenever I tried to avoid it.

Party Poison ~

I was gay for Show Pony (wow am I sensing a pattern here?) I sung a lot of music and always wished I had some way to record it. I had vague memories of the California coast. I never knew if they were actual childhood memories or if I’d been told stories about it and it was an image created by my mind, but I always dreamed of seeing the ocean with my own eyes. After I lost the battle, I was taken back to the city and reeducated and sedated. It must’ve been years later, it was all a blur, but I eventually managed to slip out and wandered the desert for a long time.

Danny Fenton ~

I was really more dead than alive. Phantom Planet did not happen. (Also lmao Butch Hartman can take his stupid ideas and suck on my gay nonbinary feminine ghost ectoplasm)

Mettaton ~

I became a total heartthrob on the surface and it was honestly incredible. I never strayed too far from where Napstablook was though. They really were like a little sibling to me.

Tails ~

Honestly not very many memories but I think my canon was sorta like the Sonic X anime. Also I loved him he was like a brother but Sonic was a total doofus lmao. Also we were the same age.

Vriska Serket ~

Killed off my lusus the second I knew I was capable of taking care of myself. That way I wouldn’t have to kill anymore. Tavros was an asshole to me, constantly. In fact, most of my friends were when we were younger. I stayed on the meteor with Terezi. Eventually, I navigated my way to the new universe. It took years, however.

Izuku Midoriya ~

Here we are in the barely any memories section. I do know I got into fights a lot as a kid to prove I wasn’t weak, and I ended up winning most of the time. Bakugou wasn’t that mean to me, just dismissive, which hurt because we really were friends as kids.

Luke Skywalker ~

Specific memories? Where? I was pretty gay you can be sure of that.

Tooru Mutsuki ~

Trans boy, I was gay for Sasaki. Things were a lot less….. tragic overall in my canon than in the source material.

Rhys ~

After Jack possessed me I lost my trust in him and tried to betray him. After it was all over, I was too scared of him coming back to replace the tech in my head. I just kept my eye covered. And I definitely wasn’t nearly talented enough to replace my arm by myself. That had to wait for a long while until I found the rest of the survivors again.