#I have been thinking about doing something like this for a while
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CORRUPTION𓍯𓂃 r ֶָ֢cameron 003.
rafe cameron x shy!reader
𝜗𝜚 summary : rafe has been trying to get you alone for far too long and now that he finally has, he won't give the moment up for anything.
𝜗𝜚 words : 2.3k
𝜗𝜚 c!w : smut, humping, thigh riding, public!sex, finger sucking, risk of being caught, praise kink, kinda degradation kink.
part 1, part 2.
days had passed since the incident with rafe cameron and the boy who's name you didn't wish to remember.
this time, you hadn't gone out of your way to avoid the boy but instead went back to normal, almost as if nothing had happened between you two at all. you sat on the couch of tannyhill, giggling at something on sarah's phone with your legs crossed.
now, that simply wouldn't do.
rafe had been eager for a minute alone with you which seemed almost impossible when his sister was hanging off your side every minute you spent at tannyhill.
he was sitting on the living room couch, the one across from you both, scrolling on his own phone, a finger to his mouth as he gnawed at the completely bitten down nail.
his eyes kept travelling over to you, skimpy little summers dress clinging to your form while the skirt part began to ride up your thighs as you moved against the couch.
dirty thoughts swarmed his head, thoughts that shouldn't be repeated out loud. thoughts that shouldn't have been in his head to begin with.
he thought he was sure to be damned to hell for the things he was thinking.
and then, ironically enough, the gods seemed to smile down on him. it was as if all of his prayers had been answered and every beg and grovel had finally been listened to by an angel.
the angel who's name was wheezie, standing in the living room door frame. "sarah." wheezies hair was a mess, thrown into a bun with loose strands of hair sticking out every which way, she looked tired, so awfully tired and dreadful as she stared forward at her sister who's head instantly snapped up. "please help me. i'm trying clean out my wardrobe but it's too much."
a laugh fell from sarah's mouth. "no way. it's your mess, clean it yourself."
but that was when wheezie's arms crossed over her chest, cocking a brow. "I'm sorry, who covered for you and topper last night?"
"wheezie!" sarah exasperated, glancing out into the hallway. ward and rose were upstairs but sarah still didn't wish for them to hear about the late night activities she'd been getting up to with her boyfriend.
defeated, she turned her head back to you, who was sitting so sweetly on the couch, that same sickly sweet smile crawling up on your features. you liked watching the cameron siblings interact, even if it wasn't always so pleasant, there was something oddly homely about it. "'s okay, sarah, 'm fine down here."
"okay." she sighed, getting up from the couch. "okay, you just―just hang out for a while and i'll be down soon, okay?" she watched you nod. "okay, come on, let's get this over with."
and suddenly, tension ran thick through the air.
it was you and rafe, alone.
his legs were spread apart on the armchair he was seated on, eyes running up and down your body. you seemed to notice your dress riding up and instantly tugged it down with pink cheeks. you swallowed thickly. "I, uhm―i wanted to say thank you." your eyes finally looked up to reach his.
the minute he heard your voice, his phone was turned off and tossed away. his head cocked to the side. "what for?" teasing. for he knew exactly what for.
you squirmed in your place. "for everything you did with max."
"didn't seem too grateful when you ran away, hm?" he didn't mean the bitter words that slipped from his lips. he watched the way you hung your head low, eyes glassing over. instantly, a kind of guilt washed over him and he leaned back further into the chair. "c'mere." and he patted his thigh, watching your eyes flicker down. you glanced out to the hallway and he had to roll his eyes. "'s okay, nobody'll see you. they're all too busy."
you did as you were told, crossing the room and landing in his lap.
there was something so sensational about being in his lap again.
memories flooded your head, pictures and images of you and he, in this same predicament inside his bedroom, his lips tainting yours. you couldn't help but latch your eyes onto his lips.
"you wanna tell me why you keep runnin' away, hm?" you don't answer, eyes searching anywhere but his face. he doesn't allow it, turning you slowly towards him once again. "asked you a question, sweetheart."
you fought words inside your mouth, all threatening to come tumbling out. "was scared." is all he's met with.
"scared of what?" his head dips, his eyes trying to reach yours, trying to look in and gauge your emotions. "scared of me?"
you shook your head, fingers reaching out to trail across the fabric of his sweater. "i... liked it when you kissed me." you admitted and he watched as a blush fell across your face, red reaching the tips of your ears. "i liked it a lot but 'was scared that sarah would find out 'n i don't―"
"sarah doesn't need to know anything." he answers quickly. "besides, who you kiss..." his fingers trailed across your bottom lip, sucking in his own bottom one between his teeth as he gazed down at them, sweet like honey. "is none of her business, yeah?"
you nodded too quickly, too eagerly, too convinced by his words too quickly. "'m sorry, rafe, 'm really sorry."
"think i know how you can make it up t'me." his fingers left your lips and placed themselves against your hips. "you wanna make it up to me?"
"yes, please." came out too swiftly.
he couldn't help but smirk at your eagerness. "'m gonna kiss you again, okay?" and suddenly, you could feel heat pooling in the bottom of your stomach. he leaned in, his breaths falling hot against your face, his scent filling your senses. and just as his lips brushed against your own, he whispered. "you gotta promise me something first, 'kay?"
you licked your wet lips. "anything." wanting nothing more than for rafe to lean in and seal the kiss. you'd do anything he ever asked.
"no runnin' away this time." his fingers pinched at your jaw, holding it so your eyes could reach his. "you want this? you take it 'n you don't go pushin' me away again, alright?" a curt nod. "words, princess."
"promise." you spoke quickly. "promise, rafe, please."
his lips quirked.
but he didn't keep you waiting.
when his lips crashed into yours, you were very aware of the fact that you were sitting on the couch of tannyhill, the living room door wide open. all it took was for ward or sarah to come down the stairs and they'd see what you'd been up to.
they'd see that you weren't such a good girl after all.
but you couldn't seem to care.
you were too focused on his hot hot lips, tongue slipping into your mouth as he deepened the kiss, hands pinching at your waist, holding you in place.
your mind began to unravel, all you could think about was him. rafe cameron. you were sitting on his lap, kissing him, again. and you swore it was a feeling unlike any feeling you'd ever felt in your entire life. it was making you so desperate, so messy, so wet.
and you were sure he could feel it too. he tugged on your waist, rolling your hips against him.
you let a whimper be swallowed by his mouth.
his lips finally broke from yours for air but he didn't allow himself enough to fully regain his breath before they were latched beneath your jaw, sucking and kissing harshly.
again, he rolled your hips. you weren't sure if it was him moving you or you doing it by yourself now. you could feel him growing hard beneath you, you could feel him pressing himself up against your clothed pussy and all you could think about was how much you needed everything off.
you needed to feel him, skin to skin.
it seemed so close yet stretched so far away.
his hands ran up the skin of your thighs, pushing the fabric of your dress up as he went. "r-rafe." you whimpered out, head turning to the door. "someone could see―"
"'s what you asked for, isn't it?" his hands were rough against you, tugging the dress upwards, not caring for the family who remained upstairs. "isn't it?"
you swallowed thickly. "yes." you stammered out. "b-but―"
"you still wanna make it up to me, don't you?" his brows knitted together in this false sense of sadness, as if you'd done something awful to the poor man. you'd felt suddenly guilty for even suggesting that you stop.
you felt yourself ease against him, your own brows pinching together. "'m sorry, rafe, swear 'm sorry. i'll do anything, jus' please don't be angry―"
"'m not angry." he assures you, fingers brushing up and down your thighs, inching too high. "jus' need you to do something f'me, can you do that, sweetheart?" you were nodding like a puppy, eager to do anything he would ask of you. he maneuvered you so you were situated on one of his spread thighs and not his lap anymore. "y'gonna rub yourself on my thigh like the pathetic good girl you are, okay?"
you'd never done anything like this before.
suddenly you began to panic. "rafe, someone'll hear 'n―"
"nobody'll hear you, baby, jus' gotta be nice 'n quiet, yeah?" you still looked hesitant, top teeth clamping down on your bottom lip. "would make me feel so good, princess 'n you jus' wanna make me feel good, isn't that right? yeah, baby, jus' wanna make rafe feel good, you're such a good girl, aren't you?"
and you don't know how, why, or when but suddenly, you're doing just what he told you.
your hips are stuttering as they move against his jeans, you can feel your panties growing wetter and wetter with every jolt of movement.
rafe doesn't appear to be doing much, hands skillfully moving your hips while he leans back against the armchair.
"there you go, good girl." his cock twitched in his jeans, watching your hesitant, shy face as you moved oh so slowly on his jeans. "lift your hips f'me, sweetheart." you did as you were told, pausing to lift yourself up from his thigh. his hand moved beneath you, tugging your panties to the side and rubbing gentle circles against your clit.
"oh." fell so sweetly from your lips that to anybody else, it would have appeared almost innocent. but rafe was well aware of how dirty you really were.
he landed you back on his thigh, letting you rub yourself against him, this time, it was your bare pussy that ran up and down his jean-clad thigh.
he groaned at the sight of you, free hand coming down to fix his situation that was suddenly growing in his pants. he pulled at the jeans slightly, trying to make his growing bulge less noticeable but there was simply too much to hide.
your eyes cast down to his hand, then to the bulge and you found a little whimper leaving your mouth.
his eyes studied your face, watching you lick your already wet lips and rubbing yourself against him a little quicker. sweet, poor, innocent, you was so turned on by his growing dick. and he could feel it by the dampness of his jeans turning wet hot
you really were filthy.
a particularly loud whine left your lips and rafe realised that perhaps it wasn't a smart idea to start this whole thing off while his whole family was home.
but he couldn't stop now. that'd be cruel. especially seeing how worked up he'd gotten you.
he trailed his fingers up to your lips and tapped on your chin.
you didn't even need to be told, you simply opened up. he stuck his digits right in, feeling your flat tongue against them and spit coating them.
"so filthy, baby." he uttered so softly, as if he were complimenting you. "what'll we do with you, huh?" you only whimpered around his fingers. "'s okay, sweetheart, gonna get that pussy stuffed jus' like you want. just gotta be patient, yeah? can you do that f'me?"
and you're sloppy against his thigh, sloppy against his fingers. you can feel juices rubbing against his jeans and dribble forming at the gaps between your lips and all you can do is not so dumbly.
a stutter of your hips.
a grin on his lips.
"you gonna cum, already, huh?" it didn't take long, but you were already approaching your orgasm. he wished now more than ever that he could take pictures with his mind. that he could frame this moment and pull it out every time his dick got hard. he slipped his fingers out from your mouth. "gotta ask like a good girl before you cum."
your hands pawed at his shoulders. "please, rafe." your mind was turned to mush. "please, please, please."
he shrugged so cruelly. "'m hearin' a lot of beggin' but i don't hear you asking me yet."
"p-please, can i cum?" your face was red hot, embarrassment flooding your features quickly. "please?"
he smirked, leaning back against the armchair and removing his hands from your waist. you were a big girl, you could finish yourself off. "go on, princess."
he watched as your hands pawed at him, hips stuttering and eyes rolling backwards, mouth falling open. it was such a pronographic, filthy scene. and yet, he knew by tomorrow, you'd be prancing around in the same little dress and everyone would see you as the same lovely good little girl that you pretended to be.
and rafe thought that was enough to make him cum in his own pants.
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#soft!rafe cameron#rafe cameron drabble#rafe cameron x y/n#obx#softbabybelle#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron oneshot#outerbanks#outerbanks x reader#rafe cameron outerbanks#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron comfort#rafe cameron x reader smut#rafe cameron x reader fluff#rafe cameron x shy!reader#shy!reader
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older!rafe and sensitive!reader spending the holidays together
18+ mdni!
c/w: fluff, her ovulating and being horny, smut: p-in-v, slight breeding kink, use of dad
wc: 1.5k
ugh i��ve missed this man
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“Why is he doin’ that shit?”
“Rafe, it’s a rom-com,” she reasons, practically glued to him on their couch with the way she keeps shifting closer and closer, almost unconsciously at this point.
“Yeah, a shitty one. Why was it necessary to do a whole fuckin’ speech at the mall? He couldn’t jus’ I dunno, tell her how he felt?” he scoffs, clearly fed up with the entire film already.
She can’t stop the bubbly laughter from escaping her when she looks over to his scowling face. “I mean, this is actually getting kinda weird…why’s everyone watching them?”
“Yeah, ‘n why are they still on that fuckin’ stage?” he grumbles while the couple is now fully making out on the TV screen.
“Please don’t ever do anything like that to me.”
“Yeah, was actually gonna ask, you, uh, you wanna go shoppin’ tomorrow?”
“No!” she giggles before taking a sip of the hot chocolate she’d made for herself (because Rafe deliberately told her he didn’t want any) but the minute she’d sat down with the mug in hand, he’d wanted to try it, which ended up with him drinking nearly half of it.
“Oh shit, forgot to give you this earlier, look what I got you today,” he suddenly murmurs.
“Hm?” her eyes flit over to his face; momentarily distracted by his pretty features as he searches for something from the back pocket of his pants. Then, he’s pulling a golden necklace from a velvety box.
“That looks really expensive,” she nervously mumbles, pausing the TV in order to concentrate on the heart-shaped locket he’s holding out to her.
“You deserve the fuckin’ world, it was nothin’ alright? Can think of it as an early Christmas present if it makes you feel better,” he rolls his eyes, almost exasperated that she still can’t seem to comprehend the fact that he enjoys spending his money on her.
“It’s so beautiful,” she croons as she inspects the piece of jewelry with careful fingertips, heart swelling in her chest at the sentiment— recalling how she’d mentioned something about thinking pendants like these were adorable maybe once.
“Yeah? You like it?”
“I love it. Wait, you had your initials carved into it too? That’s so cute, Ray, what the hell?” she feels her eyes grow watery because her boyfriend really is her favorite person in the whole wide world for a reason.
“Yeah, know you’re into sappy shit like that, ‘n you can put m’picture inside too ‘n you’ll always have me with you��or whatever the fuck.”
“Shut up, you’re so sweet! I love you,” she exclaims before she’s wrapping her arms around his neck— climbing into his lap in the process while he murmurs into her hair how he apparently ‘loves her more’, which she thinks is not possible.
“Let me put it on you?” he says before he’s swiping away some strands in order to clasp the locket around her neck. “Look so pretty with m’name on you.”
“Wait, you should have my name on you too,” she jokingly utters out next.
“Been thinkin’ about gettin’ it tattooed actually,” he admits, completely serious, which makes her face scrunch up.
“You’re not getting my name tattooed on you— you’re crazy,” she softly hits his chest. However, he can barely even feel it because she really doesn’t have a single violent bone in her body.
“Yeah, crazy ‘bout you,” he grins, eliciting an airy giggle from her.
Knowing she’s about to complain about him being weird again, he shuts her up with a press of his mouth against hers— a surprised noise leaving her when she’s momentarily taken aback by the sudden cushion of his lips.
And it’s sloppy, the way they slot together like puzzle pieces when she opens up for him, but both of them prefer it that way.
His kiss was meant to be something sweet but soon enough she’s rutting against him— whimpering into his mouth as if it’s been years since the last time they did this. And all too soon for her liking, he’s pulling away.
“Somethin’ you want?”
“…no,” she lies through her teeth.
“No? Jus’ uh, humpin’ me like a bitch in heat for no reason then, hm?” he raises his brows; eyes fixed on her frustrated features.
“Ray...” she huffs out; a frown already forming on her spit-slicked lips.
“Yeah?” he asks, giving her a soft peck as encouragement.
“Want you…” she pants against his mouth.
“But m’right here?” the furrow of his brows displays faux confusion.
“You know what I mean,” she whines; shifting around in his lap some more.
“M’afraid I don’t. If there’s somethin’ you want, you gonna have to tell me,” the edge of his mouth curls annoyingly when he decides to toy with her, always finding so much entertainment from her struggle.
However, she merely grants him another whine.
“Wha’s up with you today, hm? So fuckin’ needy, actin’ like you haven’t been fucked in a month when you were literally cryin’ on m’cock last night?” he murmurs while thumbing at her pouty bottom lip.
“I don’t know…jus’ need you so bad,” her eyes begin to gloss over when he’s still not giving her what she so desperately craves.
“Baby, there’s no need to cry, yeah?” he sticks his thumb past her lips; an attempt to placate her, even if he thinks she never looks prettier than with her eyes all wet and forlorn.
“You’re ovulatin’ right now, aren’t ya?” his brain finally fits together the very telltale signs as he plucks his phone from the coffee table— opening the app that tracks her period cycle.
“Think so, yeah,” she mumbles, mindlessly sucking on the digit resting on her tongue as she sniffles.
It’s no surprise to either of them when his assumption proves to be right.
“Think you need me to fuck a baby in you, s’that it? Wanna make me a real daddy?” he croons.
“Mhm…want you,” her words are muffled around his thumb.
“I know, sweetheart. Don’t want anyone but you carryin’ m’kids— think about knockin’ you up so fuckin’ often, you know?”
“You do?”
“Yeah, know you’d be such a good mom.”
“You think? I think you’d be the best dad, sometimes wish you were my dad,” she rambles mindlessly, the conversation suddenly teetering on the edge of something else entirely.
“Shit, such an angel face ‘n then there’s this rotten mind inside, huh?” he tuts in disapproval, appearing disgusted as if he doesn’t get even harder in response to her words— something raw, primitive stirring in the pit of his stomach whenever she says things like that.
“M’sorry dad,” she offers him an impish smile.
“Someone’s in a mood today?” he chuckles, narrowing his eyes in a playful manner.
“Can you take off your pants?” she complains while attempting to loosen his belt but with her mind buzzing like a honeybee it’s proving to be a rather demanding.
“Can’t do anythin’ without dad’s help, can you? Go on, let’s see if you can take me out by yourself, yeah?” he rasps out, tone challenging.
“No, need your help, daddy, I can’t—”
“Shit, you’re fuckin’ pathetic,” he murmurs, somehow managing to turn something so patronizing into something affectionate as he swats away her helpless hands and yanks the belt open himself.
“See? Not that fuckin’ hard, was it?” he mutters out as his thumb slips out of her mouth before he’s pulling himself out. And even if he’s not even fully hard yet, and she’s seen it more times than she can count, she’s still mesmerized by the sight— eyes rounding out while she simply stares as if she’s under some spell.
“You’re so pretty,” she blinks at him, eyes moony.
“Still not tired of seein’ it, huh?”
She shakes her head.
And since she’s not wearing any pants (as usual), he only has to tug the fabric of her underwear to the side in order to reveal her messy cunt.
“Ray…” she whines when he merely smears the drippy head over her folds; thudding it against her clit to get her to whimper some more.
“Hm? Want it inside? Wha’s the magic word?” he looks at her with something amused twinkling in his eyes.
“Please. Dad, it hurts,” she sniffles, desperately trying to rub against him in an attempt to alleviate the ache.
“Hurts? Think you bein’ a little dramatic, no?” he lets out a breathy chuckle, making her huff out in frustration.
“M’not, Ray, please, need you so bad,” wet droplets stain her cheeks while she tries to uselessly blink them away.
“Shh, s’okay. Dad’s bein’ mean again, isn’t he? M’sorry, baby, I’ll give you what you want, yeah?” his voice is a deep rumble before he’s finally tucking the tip into her weepy cunt, causing both of them to moan in tandem when she practically sucks him in— his fingerprints denting the skin of her thighs when he aids her movements to his liking.
“Yeah? That what you wanted? Always such a tight fuckin’ fit, huh?” he grunts against her mouth; hips meeting hers halfway as he stuffs himself deeper.
“Mm, I love you,” she whimpers— practically feeling him in her guts as his cock pokes at the spongy spot inside her while his big hands help situate her on top of him, and she thinks this might just be heaven on earth.
#did i write this a few weeks ago while *i*was ovulating?#no (yes)#older!rafe#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#older!rafe cameron#outerbanks rafe#obx rafe cameron#rafe smut#rafe fluff#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron obx#rafe cameron au#rafe cameron scenarios#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron blurb#rafe blurb#rafe au
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Actually, I think this does link in with a wider conversation that I have been thinking for a while Tumblr maybe needs to hear.
There's a common meme on this site now that no one here has any reading comprehension skills. The best one is, of course, the original "No offense but reading comprehension on this site is piss poor/How dare you say we piss on the poor" post, which gave rise to the nickname "pissing-on-the-poor website". There's also the "I like pancakes/How dare you say waffles are terrible" one. Both of these are great, because they're silly jokey ways to show two closely related phenomena that are probably the commonest ways to fail a reading comprehension check.
The first is someone reading certain catchphrases or buzzwords in the post, and based on their own biases or prior experiences or whatever else, their brain simply fills in what it reckons the poster is saying on the topic. Instead of reading the rest of the sentence and digesting it, the reader then just uses their assumption as the interpretation, and reacts to that.
The second is closely related, because it also uses biases and prior experiences to to interpret the post, but rather than ignoring what the OP is actually saying, it instead performs a series of gymnastic leaps to construct a whole new assertion on the OP's behalf that simply isn't there.
There's also a third, of course; that one is people being so eager to feel smug and superior over someone they perceive as Bad that they wilfully assume the OP is stupid or being serious when they're actually joking. And if the reader hadn't been so blinded by their desire to get to look down on someone, they'd have seen the very obvious tells, sometimes even including sentences like "Obviously this is a joke." (I think we have all seen examples of these. Also, in a bid to avoid as many reading comprehension fails here as possible, this does not include misunderstandings borne entirely of neurodiverse struggles to parse intentions; but, neurodiverse people are just as likely as neurotypicals to have ego play a part in their misinterpretation of others, and that is what this point is about.)
And the thing is... actually, we are all capable of any of these. I imagine a sizable chunk of people reading until this point were probably thinking "Lol, yeah, people are so stupid," but na, nage, I'm not having that. Literally everyone does these sometimes. And it becomes a particular risk when the topic under discussion is something that might brush against an issue that is a pressure point for you, like a social justice talking point that you are forever having to argue with internet strangers about, for example. Your brain holds schemas! And sometimes it likes to pattern match things before it deigns to tell you about its findings! And that can hit you right in the emotions, which if they are strong enough, really can shut down all rational thought.
But. This brings me to the real point of the post.
Because the thing is, we have all saddled up and gone to war under these conditions, or at the very least been strongly tempted to. And a vital skill that literally everyone has to learn, sooner or later, is:
Before you hit 'reply', double check the post to make sure you fucking understood it.
And that does not mean "simply re-read, confirm your bias, carry on." It means, "Is it possible to read this post from the point of view of someone who doesn't intend it the way I've taken it? If I put myself in the shoes of an innocent, could they still have written these words? Is there another interpretation for these phrases?"
And you do have to do this step. You simply do have to. Because if your desire is to 'clap back' and call someone a gargling knobskin made of garbage, fuck me sideways but you must see that it is imperative that you check if they actually deserve that kind of treatment first. You cannot spend your time claiming that we must all choose to be kind and then not bother doing your due diligence before screaming a person's various and assorted bigotries at them. If you misread it, and they were innocent - you are the raging aggressive cunt in this situation.
It does not matter that you reacted from an emotional place of normally having to defend yourself either, by the way. Sure, that makes the quality of your human soul better than that of the average Redditor who just enjoys anonymously hurting people, I guess? But it's also irrelevant. If you messaged someone and called them a misogynist because you performed several mental somersaults and landed on your own sore spot when they meant no such thing, you are the attacker. You owe them an apology. And yeah, sure, you can explain your over-reaction as the product of your normal experiences if you like, but that is only an explanation, not an excuse. You are still the asshole here. You still need to apologise and mean it.
And you could have avoided it if you'd done that due diligence, as you should have. If you're going to take a swing, make sure it's the right target. This was once described to me as donkey people - they don't think, they just kick. This is admittedly a little unkind to donkeys, who always do their due diligence, but I feel it's an apt metaphor.
TL;DR: If you feel moved to angrily reply to something, first make sure you've interpreted it right. Don't be a donkey person. And if you ask for clarification, people are innocent until proven guilty. Ask nicely. If they are a bigot, you can then smelt them for parts.
#I reckon anyway#mileage may vary I suppose#but this has certainly made my life a lot happier to stop assuming everyone was attacking me#and to stop getting into pointless fights with no good or satisfying ending#this has been this week's Gospel According to Elanor
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Thinking about designationless reader...
Imagine how alone she must've been for all her life. It started since she was young, her parents pushing her to the corner of the home, away from the family, and naturally, her siblings would follow their parents' lead, pointedly ignoring her, and finding any excuse available to be out of her presence. She wouldn't understand them anyway, she can't tell the difference between noises nor could she even recognize scents. It just wouldn't work.
Reader thinks that maybe she could find someone, anyone in school, but kids are like sharks, except instead of smelling blood, they smell the lack of all scents on her. Most kids have a combination of their own and their family members' scents. Reader has nothing, so everyone continues the pattern, but now with more stares and jeers and hushed giggles. Reader knows that bullying is bad, but anything would be better than simply not existing to anyone. That's what the others say, at least, that she's nothing, nobody. Never to her face, though, just in the whispers shared between friends.
She eventually tries to find others like her through the wonders of the internet. There's maybe a handful more scattered in her country, but none are her age, and all have their own families who care about them. Was it just her who wasn't deserving of love, of connection? Reader reaches out to them, and they talk a little, but before long, through no one's fault, it falls through. She was bad at talking anyway, even if she doesn't have to worry about scents or sounds that aren't there, she never knew much about context or connotation. She never had the opportunity to learn about the intricacies in communication. Reader is back alone.
The military eventually scouts her, and it's the first time anyone has ever really looked at her. Sure, they look at her like a valuable tool, but a tool is better than nothing. Reader obviously joins, desperate for crumbs. She climbs the ranks, gets the job done. She is good at her job, so people respect her. She learns how to talk professionally, emails, texts, and so one, but no one talks to her on leave. No one invites her to the pub after a good mission. No one even talks to her in the mess. But people do talk to her when they have to, and that's enough. Maybe she even gets a callsign. Doe. After Jane Doe, the placeholder name for unknown individuals, and insult if anything.
Now there's the 141. They invite her to things. They talk to her. They touch her. Reader exists for them. She isn't just an unknown person stuck in the background and invisible to everyone else, and Reader doesn't know what to do. Her speech is awkward and overly professional, even in personal settings. How is she supposed to be friends with someone, multiple someones? How is she supposed to move? To act? To express? She doesn't know, but she really wants to learn. At least now she has good teachers.
ANON YOU GENIUSSSS okay but this? Perfect. AHHHH I ADORE THIS IDEA!! Esp the jane doe callsign omg yes
You weren’t used to being seen.
Growing up, you learned quickly how to make yourself small- how to exist quietly, without taking up space, without asking for too much. Because the few times you had asked- asked for a hug, asked to be let into the nest, asked why you felt so different- the answers had all been the same.
No.
Not now.
Not you.
It wasn’t that your parents didn’t love you. You were sure they did, in their own way. But love was hard to feel when your mother flinched at your touch like you were something disgusting, when your father sighed like he was tired every time you entered the room as if you were taking up space he was saving for his other children. When your siblings built their nests without you, curling into piles of warmth and safety while you sat outside the door, knees pulled to your chest and hands balled into fists to keep them from knocking, a cold ache burrowing itself in your chest.
You stopped knocking eventually.
You stopped trying.
You used to wonder if you’d done something wrong- if maybe you could fix yourself and everything would go back to normal. But it wasn’t something you could fix. It was just… you.
Scentless.
Designationless.
Invisible.
School had been worse, perhaps the worst. At least your family had pretended not to notice how different you were. The other kids didn’t bother pretending. They stared openly, whispered behind your back, laughed when you walked by. You’d caught bits and pieces of what they said- weird, wrong, broken, as if they hoped by having you hear their words, they’d convince you to leave at last.
You’d started keeping your head down after that, slipping through the halls like a shadow. No one talked to you unless they had to, and even then they either did it with a mocking, jeering tone that echoes in your nightmares or with a meek tone; as if your lack of everything is contagious. No one sat next to you at lunch, either. When partners were assigned, you always ended up working alone per your teachers’ instructions.
It was easier that way.
At least, that’s what you told yourself.
By the time you joined the military, you’d gotten good at being alone. You didn’t need friends. Didn’t need packmates. You had work, and work didn’t care if you were quiet or awkward or too stiff to laugh at the right jokes. Work didn’t care if you flinched when people got too close or froze when someone raised their voice. Work demanded to be done, and you had nothing and no one to stop you from that.
But the military also has the same teens who used to bully you so consistently. Rookies all to ready and happy to lord over you. It’s how you get your despised callsign, Doe. Jane Doe. A cruel mockery, comedy wherein you are the joke that has the world laughing.
Still, you wear it. It’s still an acknowledgment and that will always be better than never being seen. You flit from team to team, unit to unit, always an observer from afar, watching everyone around you speak a language you can’t.
But the 141 was different, when you eventually end up working for them.
They cared.
They cared in ways you weren’t ready for.
Soap was relentless, dragging you into conversations even when you barely knew what to say. He filled the silences like it didn’t bother him, kept talking for the both of you, lounging against you unbothered, until you started talking back. Gaz was gentlest, steadier. He never pushed, just lingered close enough to remind you he was there, waiting, whenever you were ready. Quiet, silent acceptance you’d never been given before, and you were yet far too afraid to so easily cling to it.
And the Alphas- Price and Ghost- were worse.
Price had a way of looking at you that made your chest ache, like he saw you, really saw you, and didn’t mind what he found. Scentless, with no designation and all. Ghost was quieter, sharper, but his eyes tracked you everywhere, presence wrapping around you like he was staking a claim you didn’t understand, like he was teying to etch every part of you behind his eyelids.
You didn’t know what to do with it.
They didn’t give you space. They sat next to you at meals, tugged you along when they went out for drinks, called you over during breaks like it was the most natural thing in the world. And it felt natural- until it didn’t, because sometimes you still felt like an outsider.
Like you didn’t belong.
You tried to hide it, but they saw through you. They always did, and they never shied away.
When you started avoiding the mess hall, it was Gaz who caught you, shoving a plate of food into your hands and dragging you to sit with him like it wasn’t a big deal. When you hung back during missions, letting the others fall into their pack dynamics without you, Soap was the one who looped an arm around your shoulders and pulled.
And when you flinched, once, at the sharp sound of someone’s voice echoing down the hall- when you tensed so hard it made your fingers tremble- it was Price who closed the distance, standing in front of you like a wall and letting Ghost linger at your back. Neither of them said a word.
They didn’t have to.
You weren’t used to being protected. You weren’t used to belonging.
But they made it hard not to.
#noona.asks#cod x reader#cod x you#cod#tf 141 x reader#tf 141 x you#tf 141#cod imagines#noona.writes#cod omegaverse#john price x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#soap x reader#simon ghost riley x you#ghost x you#poly!141 x reader#gaz x reader#johnny soap mctavish x reader#kyle gaz garrick x you#poly 141#poly 141 x reader#simon riley x reader#soap x you#simon riley x you
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"so... how's work?"
you accidentally click the edge of your wine glass against your teeth as you tip it back, jarred by the strange question from the man standing at your side. you swallow the tiny mouthful of wine you manage to sip, turning to look at suna in bewilderment.
"work?" you ask him incredulously. "why are you asking me about work?"
suna rintarou doesn't care about what you do for work. truthfully speaking, you're not sure he even knows what you do for work—you certainly don't remember ever telling him, and the memory would stand out quite starkly considering all you ever seem to do when you run into him is bicker with him uselessly.
suna is a friend of a friend. or a friend of some friend's ex. or something. all you know is that every so often the two of you end up at the same social event, and there's something about the guy's face that just... makes you want to pick a fight.
and he has yet to turn down your instigation.
your friends all think it's funny—like you're some kind of comedy duo, and this is your special bit—but you don't see the charm in the slightest. you suspect they've started inviting you both to events just to have some entertainment.
"what?" rintarou asks, fiddling with his cellphone in his hand—pinching it between his thumb and his ring finger while he twirls it with his index. "i'm not allowed to ask about work? isn't that normal small talk for a christmas party?"
you're a little taken aback by his words. first of all, because he's right (which you hate). second of all, because he seems strangely defensive about it.
"normal for other people, maybe," you mutter, more to yourself than anything, before taking another tiny sip of wine. you swallow it, but somehow it doesn't help the dry feeling in your mouth. you're not sure you like this particular wine, you think, as bitterness clings to your tongue. "work is... fine."
suna perks up beside you at that, and you feel his eyes on your profile like he's waiting for you to go on.
"things get, uh... things get slow this time of year, so I'm mostly just answering stupid emails and ordering gifts online while i sit at my desk." you swirl the glass of wine in your hand, watching the way that the light catches in the deep red surface. "my section chief has kids and loves the holidays, so she's been pretty checked-out lately, herself. makes it easy to get away with slacking off."
you risk a glance over at him, and are somewhat dismayed to find him listening intently.
"must be nice to get a little break," he offers.
"yeah, i guess," you reply. your words are in agreement with him, but still your brow furrows.
what the fuck is going on?
you look around the room, as though checking for a hidden camera, or some other sign that might give away what the hell this guy's motives are. but around you is simply a room of friends enjoying each other's company—sipping drinks; eating finger foods the hosts had been carefully set out to graze on; chatting amongst each other about their lives, their holiday sweaters, their work.
everything seems totally normal, other than what's transpiring in the quiet corner where you and suna rintarou find yourselves standing side by side.
"how is... your... work?" you manage to ask, though it sounds as though the question is pulled from you with considerable effort. stiff and strained in every way a question so innocuous doesn't have any right to be.
suna laughs a little under his breath, masks it with a clearly fake cough, and then rests his hand over his mouth. he's smirking. you know he is. he's revelling in every second of your discomfort like the twisted little freak he is.
you're about to tell him as much, but he cuts you off.
"it's good," he replies to your pained question with an unexpected sincerity. "we're coming up to the half-way point in the season, so training is still pretty intense. we do get a day off for the holiday though."
right, he's a volleyball player. you'd learned that upon your first meeting, before your opinion of him was quite so hostile. you remember thinking at the time that he looked like a volleyball player—tall, lean, with big hands that made the beer can he'd been holding look almost laughably small in comparison.
you glance down at those hands again, still idly fidgeting with his cellphone. he's not drinking a beer tonight, and you wonder if maybe it's because he's in the middle of his season.
you think about asking him.
but you don't.
suna seems to be waiting for you to say more, but when you don't, he continues on the conversation himself. "i thought about taking the train to hyogo for the day, but it wouldn't really make sense just to go visit for a few hours."
you take another sip of your wine. you decide that you do not in fact enjoy it.
you hum a bit, ditching your mostly full glass on the edge of a table that rests within reach. "tough to just make a day trip, especially since the weather's so..." you trail off, gesturing vaguely with your now empty hand in a way that's supposed to indicate the unreliability of the winter climate.
suna laughs.
you look at him in confusion.
"the weather?" he asks you, rubbing at his mouth again like he trying to hide the expression underneath his fingertips. it might work if his eyes didn't crinkle at the corner when he smiles. "we're talking about the weather now?"
your lips part indignantly at his jibe. he's the one who'd initiated this hellscape of small talk, and now he had the nerve to chide you for it?
"oh, i'm sorry," you guffaw, feigning remorse, "is there some pressing matter you'd rather discuss?"
rintarou dips closer to you from his greater height, and the fact that he's so much taller than you are only irritates you more.
"there is actually," he says with a nod.
"oh, yeah?" you roll your eyes, gearing up for a fight. you turn to face him properly, tilting your chin up to meet him eye to eye without wavering. "and what's that?"
"are you aware that we've been standing under mistletoe for the entirety of this conversation?"
you slowly look overhead.
like something out of a horror film, you find that for once in his life (or at least the few months you've known him) suna's chosen to say something factual. overhead, a little bundle of mistletoe has been affixed to the ceiling with a piece of tape that seems to barely be hanging on—the decoration at risk of falling at any moment.
you feel sick.
"so what?" you ask him, swallowing down that feeling of dread and maintaining (what you hope is) an air of indifference.
"so that means we're supposed to kiss," he tells you matter-of-factly, almost a bit pointedly, like he can't believe you didn't know.
"i'm aware of that," you hiss. "i don't, however, bend to the whims of plants, as a general rule."
"weird rule," he remarks, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
you feel a throb of irritation behind your eyes.
"you're the one who came over here to bother me," you point out. "if you knew there was mistletoe hanging up there, that means this is your fault."
suna shrugs a bit.
you keep going, your pulse thrumming beneath your tongue and fanning the flames of irritation churning in the pit of your stomach.
"if anything, that makes you the weird one for coming up with some scheme to trick me. we're not children. if you wanted to kiss me so bad you could have just aske—"
"can i kiss you?"
what?
"i asked if i can kiss you," rintarou says, and you're not sure if that means you voiced your thought aloud or it was just plainly written across your face. he inches closer to you, and though you would usually shift away to accommodate for the intrusion, the table where you'd discarded your glass of wine keeps you mostly trapped in place. pinned. cornered. "you said that if i wanted to kiss you, i should ask. so, i'm asking if i can kiss you."
why?
suna sighs after a moment of contemplating the look of abject shock on your features, slumping forward and resting his forehead on the wall beside your head, caging you against the wall with his lanky frame. you can't breathe with him this close—too startled by the proximity and the warmth radiating from him to even think about drawing air into your lungs. too confused by this entire situation to meet your basic human needs.
"you really don't get it, do you?" he asks quietly. he's so near that you feel his words more than you hear them—especially since they were spoken so quietly just next to your ear.
"get what?" your own voice sounds distant—sounds strange—to you when you finally manage to speak.
suna pulls back just far enough to meet your gaze, and you're shocked to see just how pink his face is. he looks mortified—and desperate—as his eyes find yours. he tilts his face towards you, and when he speaks again you feel the warmth of his breath break against your lips.
"you're the only person in this room who i'd enjoy listening to talk about the weather."
and it's not until much later, when the lingering bitterness from the wine has been replaced by something much sweeter (though entirely unexpected) on your tongue, that you realize rintarou was the only person in the room tall enough to reach the ceiling.
a/n: for nana, who forced me to write this entirely against my will but whom i love dearly in spite of it
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Merry Christmas, Baby
Summary: You're not sure what to get Javi for Christmas, until he gives you an idea for a gift you can't put under the tree
Word Count: 3.3K (I wrote this in two hours, the thots do be thotin)
Paring: Husband!Javi x Wife!reader
Warnings: SMUT (18+) unprotected p in v sex (whoops), breeding kink (I'll say it once and I'll say it again, you KNOW this man deserves 17 kids) vaginal fingering, creampie (big time), family planning, Javi gets so excited about the idea of another baby he literally can't control himself, terrible, sexual Christmas puns, cute and sweet Christmas fluff bc I love this family more than life and you know they give their kids the most magical Christmases 🥺
A/N: I'll take Javier Peña with a big fat breeding kink for a thousand, please!!! I was feeling in a writing rut, until I read @notjustjavierpena Husband Javi Christmas fic last night, and lord have MERCY, consider me inspired 🫡 I'll never shut up about the fact that this man wants a football team, and every Christmas will ask to put another baby in you as his only Christmas gift BYEEEEEEE I need to be institutionalized at this point sorry this is poorly beta'd, it's me, I'm allergic to editing!!!
Forever and Always Masterlist Never Too Late Masterlist
“Javier Peña, there has to be something you want for Christmas.”
“As long as all my girls are happy, that’s all I want.”
“Unfortunately, I can’t wrap your sappy sentiment, Javi.”
There was nothing more that you enjoyed than showering Javi with gifts for the holidays. There were few people on earth you could imagine being more deserving than your husband- you’d find a way to wrap the moon and top it with a bow, if that’s what he wanted. Unfortunately for you, Javi was so sweet, it made buying gifts for him nearly impossible, considering there was rarely ever a tangible item on his wishlist.
“I don’t need anything, baby.” Javi smiled, reaching for the roll of bright pink and sparkly wrapping paper in front of him to start covering the new Barbie Dream House Lucy had been begging for all year long. “Toss me the tape.”
“Well obviously I have things for you, but I always wanna make sure I’m getting you things that you want.” You sighed, gently throwing the roll of Scotch tape you had been using over the pile of gifts between you and Javi you were working on wrapping while your daughters were asleep.
After six Christmases under your belts, you and Javi had learned from the one grave mistake of waiting until Christmas Eve to wrap all your daughter’s presents, now taking a few nights before the big day to wrap and assemble any gifts being left under the tree for your own sanity.
Now that your girls, Lucy, Elliot and Harper, were six, four and two, it made Christmas even more magical, knowing that they were beginning to understand the concept of what the holiday meant, and all the joyous anticipation that led up to the 25th of December.
It also meant that there were a lot more presents to wrap- 1, because Lucy and Elliot knew that they could ask for gifts they wanted, and 2, because Javi would say he’d be done buying presents and then show up the next day after work with another toy for his girls.
“Honey, you get great gifts, for me, but especially for the girls, too. Fuck, I forgot this needs batteries…” Javi mumbled to himself, carefully undoing the wrapping paper he had started working on, “You make a very good Santa.”
“I think the girls like your version of Santa better, since that’s how they end up with double the gifts under the tree.” You giggled, playfully rolling your eyes at Javi before reaching for the next toy in the pile, “I’m being serious, Javi. I love spoiling those girls just as much as you, but you also deserve to be spoiled too, ya know.”
“You’re my wife, gave me three beautiful daughters, and tolerate me on a daily basis. Baby, that’s plenty fucking spoiled, if you ask me.” Javi grinned, giving you a reassuring nod and little shrug of his shoulders.
“You’re much more than tolerable, you goof.” You laughed, cheeks pink at the warmth of your husband’s words, never failing to make you melt a little more each day. “Will you please just tell me one thing you want? Then I’ll let it go, I promise.”
Javi sat quietly for a moment, fiddling with the edges of the wrapping paper he was working on before a boyish smile began to creep into the corners of his cheeks.
“Uh oh.” You laughed to yourself, immediately recognizing the goofy grin Javi was trying to contain, “What is it, Peña?”
“You’re not gonna like it.” Javi snickered to himself, raising an eyebrow at you.
“Jav, if it’s another dog, I told you, when the girls are older and-”
“No, it’s not another dog.” He smirked, still softly laughing to himself as you tilted your head at him in confusion, trying to piece together what kind of gift Javi would want that would take any convincing from you, crossing your arms over your chest as you attempted to decipher the devious splayed across his face.
It only took about two seconds and that look to figure out what Javi was in the market for.
“Javi…” You sighed, your tone jokingly stern.
“Osita?” He responded back, trying to downplay his giddiness now that you had figured out his gift suggestion.
“Javi, four kids is a lot of kids. One more, and they’re doubling us in ranks.”
You had always been on the fence about having a fourth baby. Not because you didn’t love having kids, or that you didn’t think you couldn’t handle it, mentally or financially, but because your brain worked in logistics- adding one more member to your family was getting you to the point where you’d have so many kids, you wouldn’t even all fit in Javi’s truck anymore, unless someone got demoted to the trunk, which, in all honesty, you were sure Elliot wouldn’t mind.
For Javi, on the other hand, there was no need to worry about logistics- the two of you would figure it out sooner or later. The only logistics he was worried about was instigating the baby making process.
“You asked what I wanted!” Javi replied, chuckling as he held his hands up in defense, “I think I’ve been a very good boy all year, if you ask me.”
“What you’re asking for is definitely putting you on the naughty list.” You huffed, trying to distract yourself with finishing wrapping the present you were working on to hide the fact you were genuinely considering Javi’s present suggestion. “You really think we can handle four kids, Jav?”
It took everything in you not to laugh at the way Javi instantly perked up when your first response to his gift idea wasn’t rejection, eyeing you up and down and gently biting down on his lower lip.
“Mhmmm.” He nodded, slowly making his way around the pile of presents to scooch closer to you, “I’ll take care of everything, mi amor. You, the girls, the baby, I can ask for less hours at work so I can help around here, whatever you want, you know I’ll give it to you.”
“You really want this baby, huh?” You giggled, smirking at Javi as he crawled next to you, hungry look in his eyes while he began to cage his body over yours, carefully laying you down on the floor beneath him.
“Fuck, I wanna knock you up again so bad. You’re so fucking sexy when you’re pregnant.” Javi groaned, planking overtop you, his hot breath dancing across your skin in between his soft nips at your pulse point. “Let me fuck another baby into you, Osita. Please.”
Any inhibitions you would have had in protest had completely flown out the window, arousal soaking the fabric of your underwear as Javi kissed up your neck and across your collarbone, softly palming at your breasts under one of his old sweatshirts you had thrown on.
Truth be told, you and Javi had talked about baby number four enough that you were already leaning towards saying 'yes' anyways, but that wouldn’t stop you from having a little fun in seeing how badly Javi really wanted the Christmas gift he was asking you for.
“Tell me how badly you want it, Javi. Tell me how much you wanna fuck another baby into me.” You devilishly whispered into his ear, smiling to yourself at the pathetic groan that rumbled from his chest in response.
“Fuck me-” Javi moaned, hands feverishly groping your body, “Fuck, I want it so bad, quierda. Wanna fill you up ‘till it has no choice but to fucking take, fuck this pussy so full of me, let everyone know who it belongs to, watching you carry our baby. Please, Osita.”
It was a good thing you were already prepared to be easily swayed, because even if you weren’t, listening to the way Javi was begging to put another baby in you would have easily been enough.
“Okay. Merry Christmas, Papí.”
Your green light was all Javi needed to spark something completely feral in him, practically ripping your clothes off you in the middle of the living room, sprawled out on the carpet.
“Javi, we can go upstairs and-”
“No. Fuck, I need to fuck you right now, just like this.” He grunted, shedding his clothes before his hand was cupping over your underwear, jaw going slack at how absolutely soaked the fabric was under the pads of his fingers. “Apparently you do too, huh, Momma? She’s so wet for me, isn’t she? Pretty pussy wants me to fill her up so bad.”
Your stomach churned in arousal as Javi ripped your panties down your legs, revealing the puffy, glistening mess beneath. Javi had barely touched you, and you could already feel the way you’re dripping, admittedly just as turned on as him at the idea of letting him add another addition to your family.
“Christ, baby.” Javi muttered, settling between your legs. Letting his hands run up the insides of your thighs, he took his thumbs and slid them between your folds, spreading you open to get a full view of the way your slick was coating your cunt. “Making a fucking mess for me already.”
“I think I’m ovulating soon.” You sigh, doing some quick math in your head, trying to account for just how worked up you were, Javi’s eyes so going wide at the realization, you were worried they may just pop out of his skull.
“Oh, fuck me.” Javi groaned, shaking his head in disbelief at his luck, “You’re right, Merry fuckin’ Christmas to me then.”
Swirling the pads of his fingers against your clit, your back arched against the floor at the shockwaves the pleasure sent through your body, making you gasp so loud, you were worried you risked a real possibility of waking up your daughters.
“F-Fuck, Javi-” You whimpered, already bucking your bottom half towards him as he sunk his two fingers into your cunt while the heel of his palm rubbed deliciously against your clit. Reaching up, your grasp wrapped around Javi’s bicep, muscles flexing with each pulse of his fingers as you left half-crescent moons in his skin.
It took everything in you not to scream as a third finger joined the first two, stretching you out as he bumped against your g-spot, tension already beginning to build in your core. A sudden gasp escaped your chest, surprised by the newfound emptiness that had you clenching around nothing, looking up to see Javi reaching down to wrap his hand around his cock, stroking it a few times before lining it up with your entrance.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, I need to fucking feel you, baby. Swear you’ve got me feeling like I’m about to bust like a fucking teenager.” Javi grunted, running his tip against your clit and down your cunt, collecting your arousal before thrusting himself inside you, filling you to the brim with every inch of him.
Unless you were desperately pressed for time, Javi normally had a bare bones minimum of pulling at least one orgasm out of you before he fucked you, but seeing how worked up and needy he was to feel you wrapped around him, it was about as close to an orgasm you could get withtout actually having one.
“Oh fuck, Javi!” you whined, feeling the tip of his head kiss your cervix as he began to thrust in and out of you, feeling dizzy from his fullness. You could tell he was trying to hold himself together, his hips slamming into you in deep, slow thrusts, breath hitching in the back of your throat every time he buries himself deeper inside you.
“Fuck, you feel so good. So fucking tight. Fuck, I can’t wait to fill her up, give you every last fucking drop. Taking me so fucking well.” Javi moaned through gritted teeth, already scrunching his face in concentration through his pussy drunk babbling.
Running his hands up the back of your thighs, Javi pushed your knees to your chest, pinning your legs in place against your stomach to stretch you out even further, letting him sink himself even deeper to hit the spot he knew drove you just as crazy as it drove him.
Despite how lost in pleasure the two of you were, Javi was at least conscious enough to realize how loud you had gotten, quickly reaching up cup your mouth, catching your muffled moans in the palm of his hand.
“I know, hermosa. Fuck, I love hearing you, but we gotta keep quiet enough, baby.” Javi huffed, snaking the hand covering your mouth between your bodies, circling at your clit, almost as if he was putting you through some sort of cruel test to see how far he could push you before he had you screaming at the top of your lungs.
“Fuck- fuck, I know. You feel so good, Javi.” You whined, hand pressed against his bare chest, his warmth and weight pinning your body below him.
You feel the way Javi’s thrusts become quicker and harsher, filling himself as deep as he could as your cunt began to clench around his length, sucking him in with your warmth and wetness. Your eyes had been scrunched, so lost in your own pleasure that you hadn’t even noticed the nearly pained look on Javi’s face, furrowing his brow in deep concentration with each slap of his hips against yours.
“You okay, Javi?” You asked, panting out each word as he pounded into you, circling your clit faster and faster as his grip tightened around your thighs, trying to keep himself grounded.
“Yeah, I- Fuck- fuck me, I’m trying so hard not to finish before you do. Pussy feels so fucking good. Wanna cum so fucking deep inside you.” Javi moaned, the rhythm of his hips already starting to falter thinking about his endgame.
If you weren’t so lost in your own ecstasy, you probably would have giggled at Javi’s admission, giving him shit about how he couldn’t hold it together for even just a few minutes, knowing he could finally try to get you pregnant again. But right now, you’re just shocked you can even get any words to form coherent thoughts to string together, let alone tease him.
“Put a baby in me, Javi. Fuck, want you to cum so deep inside me, please, baby.”
You could barely finish the whimpers of your sentence before Javi’s pace became sloppy and erratic, hips stuttering before his jaw went slack, letting a low, long groan escape from his chest.
“Oh, f-fuck-” Javi stammered, flushing his hips against yours as you felt his warm spend coat your walls, pressed so deep inside you, you were convinced it’d have no choice but to stick, in a few weeks finding out baby number four would be on the way.
Javi’s chest rose and fell, looking down at the way your bodies melted together beneath him, igniting something primal in him to see the mix of your arousal seeping around where the two of you met. His eyes darkened, looking down at you with a feral sort of smirk, not even giving you the chance to speak before his lips were crashing into yours again, hips slowly thrusting while his fingers rubbed at your sensitive bundle of nerves.
“J-Javi, what are you-” You muttered, cut off by the messy dancing of tongues and teeth in your mouths.
“I’m not done yet, Momma. Not until I fuck myself so deep in there we know it fucking takes. Wanna keep you stuffed so fucking full of me.” Javi grunted, rubbing your clit faster at the way he could feel the walls of your pussy starting to flutter around him, determined to make sure he wasn’t the only one who finished. “Cum for me, baby. I know you’re close. Can feel how tight she’s getting for me.”
You knew just as well as he did that the tingle that had been building at the base of your spine had slowly begun to flow to every inch of your body, building up through your legs and into your core, clenching down harder and harder around Javi’s cock, knowing there was no doubt the mess between your legs was surley just as wet as it sounded as he slid in and out of you.
“Oh fuck, Javi, oh fuck- fuck, fuckfuckfuck- ah!”
It didn't take long before your orgasm crashed through you, lighting up every inch of you in radiating pleasure, your cunt clamping down so hard around Javi’s cock, it made him let out a strangled gasp as he choked out curses under his breath.
“Jesus, fuck. Gonna squeeze every last fucking drop outta me, huh? My greedy fuckin’ girl.” Javi smirked, planting a soft kiss on your lips before he slumped on top of you, your chests rising and falling as one as you finished coming down from your high.
The two of you laid there for a moment, catching your breaths and basking in bliss before Javi was pulling out of you with a hiss, one hand wrapped around his softening cock, the other scooping up the mix of your spend pooling between your legs before it dripped to the floor, carefully pushing it back inside you.
“Fuck,” Javi laughed to himself quietly, sitting back on his haunches, admiring the slick, shiny mess your pussy had become, “Jesus, I can’t remember the last time I came that hard.”
“Looks like Christmas came early this year… and so did you.” You giggled, making Javi roll his eyes, playfully shaking one of the legs still pressed to your chest.
“Shut up.” He sighed, shaking his head at you before laying back down beside you, shifting so that his chest was pressed to your back, spooning you in his grasp. “Gotta make sure Santa’s not the only thing coming down the chimney this year.”
“Jesus Christ, Javi.” You can’t help but snort, ashamed of how easily amused you are by his stupid puns.
“What? You let me get my gift early, least I can do is stuff your stocking for you.”
“Oh my god, you are the worst.”
The two of you giggled, basking in your laughter as you laid together on the floor, only spurred on by the fact you realized how ridiculous it was that the two of you were completely naked in the middle of your living room, surrounded by a sea of wrapping paper and presents.
“Speaking of stocking stuffers, we should finish wrapping the rest of these gifts we have out before we go to bed. At least some of these presents should be wrapped, because the one you just gave me was most definitely not.” You teased, craning your neck to pepper ticklish kisses across Javi’s jaw.
“It’s the gift that keeps on giving. I’ll give it to you tomorrow too, if you let me.” Javi grinned, giving you a playful wink before pressing a kiss into your messy hair and patting your hip, reaching over you to grab the pile of clothes the two of you had left next to you. “Seriously though, thank you. You and our girls are the best gift I could ever have, but adding one more would make me so fucking happy. I love you, Osita.”
“I love you too, Javi. You guys are the best gift I could ask for, too. Although, I will say, your gift also selfishly works in my favor, too. Some presents are just better unwrapped.”
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BY THE BOOK : MIDORIYA IZUKU X READER
SUMMARY: When your pro hero boyfriend comes home to find you studying, he suddenly takes a great interest in helping out. You find his methods... questionable. TAGS/WARNINGS: nsft, hysterical literature (reading out loud while sexually stimulated), pro hero deku, deku still has ofa, support tech grad student reader, slight intelligence kink, gn + afab reader, cunnilingus, established relationship, aged up characters, fluff (3k) NOTES: Hi guys! I have been in survival mode as of late and the writing has been slow going; my sincerest apologies for how long it’s taking me to burn down my @ficsforgaza backlog. But I finally had the time & energy on my hands this weekend to work on this one and I had such a blast!! I hope I’m not too rusty—and if I am, I hope you enjoy it as much as I loved writing it regardless lol. Love you and thank you always for your patience. Happy Holidays!!
Sometimes, you thought you could tell your boyfriend was near, even before you heard his key in the lock.
It was something to do with his power, you’d always suspected—as a support engineer unduly interested in other people’s capabilities, you’d spent hundreds of hours turning it over in your head. It was the unnatural immensity of other people’s powers, you thought, pulling and coiling just beneath the surface of Izuku’s skin. In close proximity, after prolonged use, its presence felt like a shiver up the back of your neck.
You felt the barest hint of it now, an unsettled feeling creeping into the marrow of your bones, and you sat up on the couch just as you heard the scratch of Izuku’s keys at the door.
One For All fit cleanly into Izuku’s own unwavering intensity somehow, like the last piece of his puzzle. Though one would certainly never think so looking at him as he spilled through the door, pink-cheeked from the cold, all bright eyes, sweetly angelic features, and a riot of wild green curls. He looked windswept from the biting winter breeze. He also looked too kind to be carrying the sort of power he did—too sweet and eager and lovely.
“Look what the wind blew in,” you grinned at him over the back of the couch, after assessing he was well. Your eyes tracked the sinuous movement of those broad shoulders as he yanked his mouthguard over his head, the flex and pull of his bicep as he hung it beside the door. He was moving without pause, no sign of injury or muscle strain , and his suit was intact. Ordinarily you didn’t mind if there was a bit of shredding about the abs as long as he came back to you whole and hale, but in the winter you didn’t like him wandering about risking the chance of frostbite.
Your heart fluttered when Izuku returned your smile with one of his own, so beautiful and bright, chasing away the cold he’d tracked in like a warm sliver of sun.
“Lots of small, easy fights today?” You guessed, judging from his intact suit but clear whiff of power about him.
Izuku scrubbed a hand through that riot of curls, exposing the reddened shell of a cold ear. “I only had to use blackwhip a couple of times,” he said as he shouldered the door closed behind him, the muscle of his thighs flexing enticingly as he stepped out of his boots.
You gestured at the pot of soup you’d left warming on the stove, and the veritable pile of crusty bread beside it. Warmth and carbs, exactly what you would have wanted if you were a pro hero fresh off a long day of patrolling in the snow.
Izuku’s eyes fixed on it with an obliging amount of interest, and he almost tripped over himself in the genkan in his haste to get to the kitchen. “I love you,” you heard him say, muffled through a mouthful of bread, heard the clatter of the silverware drawer and a bowl being placed on the counter.
You smiled and turned back to the book in your lap, a particularly dry, knotty text on robotic imitation learning that had had your eyes drifting closed for the better part of an hour. It was the last you’d need to get through for your Wearable Technologies graduate course, and something you were deeply interested in incorporating into your design practice. You could train a piece of equipment on how an individual pro hero moved and deployed their quirk, and use predictive modeling to deploy assistance functionalities within milliseconds if you got it right—such as immediate cooling in pro hero Shouto’s temperature vest the moment he ignited an arm.
The implementation was going to be so cool—but the theory was so mind numbing.
You felt the couch sink in beside your feet, and Izuku peered interestedly at the title in your lap.
“Introduction to Robotic Imitation Learning,” he echoed, and you could hear the note of excitement in his voice. You suppressed a fond smile, knowing he was already thinking through the same applications you had—he was just as much of a nerd as you were.
“Introduction to Snoozing and Napping,” you grumbled, turning back to your page. “There are only so many words on the Kalman filter framework a brain can handle before the human mind shuts itself down.”
Izuku hummed in interest around a spoonful of soup, propping himself up against your leg. The exterior of his suit was still cool from the outside, and he groaned with relief from the warmth of your skin, even as you hissed at the chill.
You knew he wanted you to go on, so you generalized for him. “It’s an algorithm used for robotic motion planning—you not only take measurements of the thing you want to model but you account for uncertainties to predict the probability that something is going to happen.”
Izuku nodded, taking another spoonful of soup, gesturing for you to go on.
You summoned up the willpower to explain joint probability distribution, pleased when Izuku easily managed to follow—he’d always been a quick study, especially of anything that could be employed in the service of heroics. You’d long thought if he hadn’t been gifted his quirk, he would be an insane support engineer.
He managed to finish his entire bowl of soup in the time it took you to explain, and housed another two slices of buttered bread with the sort of alacrity you’d only ever seen in pro heroes and professional athletes, making you smile while you spoke.
His spoon clinked softly against the edge of the bowl as he set them aside on the coffee table, and he hooked his chin over your knees as you finished explaining. In the setting sun from your windows he looked especially lovely, the kind, angular planes of his face brushed in gold, softening the spots of his freckles.
His eyes were especially bright, the way they always were when something in particular had caught his interest, and he smiled at you again over the tops of your knee caps.
“I admire how smart you are,” he told you, in the simple, straightforward way he always gave out compliments. It was like a shot to the heart every time, and you could feel your face warm with the praise even after years of receiving similar compliments.
You reflexively flapped a dismissive hand. “Not smart enough to have internalized it all! I have mostly been falling asleep to it,” you promised him.
He tilted his head, a green curl falling into his eyes. “I know you won’t have a problem when you’re awake.”
You shifted your legs with embarrassment, and a long fingered hand came up to cup the front of your thigh, as Izuku turned more fully towards you. You could feel the warm, hard planes of his chest against your shins, the line of his jumpsuit’s zipper pressing insistently just below your knee.
“Gotta try to impress you somehow,” you joked, your skin prickling as Izuku’s fingers absent-mindedly drew a pattern across your thigh. You could feel the heat of his hand through the thin material of the leggings you’d lounged around in all day, the chill finally chased away from his skin now that he’d come inside and warmed up.
“You do impress me,” he said in his soft, gentle tone. Which made your cheeks and nose burn hotter.
You knew you did, and the steady faith Izuku had in the people around him was one of your favorite things about him. It still made you feel like a middle schooler with a crush to think about, though, the intensity of your feelings too much for one body to handle.
“I will study hard to live up to your faith in me,” you promised, unable to help the goofy smile you knew you were giving him.
Izuku’s chin shifted against the tops of your knees, and he pressed his mouth to the knob of your left one, leaving a smiling kiss. “Tell me more?” he asked, fingers still sliding softly over your thigh.
“I’ll read it to you as I go, then,” you said, turning back to the brick of a tome, propping it up more firmly on your stomach as you adjusted yourself against the couch arm. Izuku’s eyes watched you over the top of the pages, that emerald gaze tracking your face closely.
“‘The algorithm works via a two-phase process: a prediction phase and an update phase’,” you began, trying to turn your attention away from Izuku and back to the text. “‘In the prediction phase, the Kalman filter produces estimates of the current state variables, including their uncertainties. Once the outcome of the next measurement (necessarily corrupted with some error, including random noise) is observed, these estimates are updated using a weighted average, with more weight given to estimates with greater certainty.’”
Izuku’s long fingers traced firmer lines across your thighs, almost like he was taking notes. He layered another kiss along the line of your knee, eyes glittering at you as you read.
“‘The algorithm is recursive,’” you continued, “‘It can operate in real time, using only the present input measurements and the state calculated previously and its uncertainty matrix; no additional past information is required.’”
You almost jumped as Izuku’s mouth trailed lower, into the space between your knees, leaving kisses along your inner thigh. His fingers gently pulled one thigh away to make space for him in between, and you cleared your throat, trying to return to the text at hand.
“‘Optimality of Kalman filtering assumes that errors have a normal–that is, Gaussian–distribution,’” you read on. “‘The following assumptions are made about random processes: Physical random phenomena may be thought of as due to primary random sources exciting dynamic systems. The primary sources are assumed to be independent gaussian random processes with zero mean; the dynamic systems will be linear.’”
Izuku let out a soft breath, insinuating himself further between your thighs. Your own breath came out a little uneven as he bent over you, mouth tracking dangerously towards the inseam of your leggings.
You paused, but Izuku fixed you with a look of his slightly-darkened eyes. “Please—keep reading,” he said, his tone a little lower than it had been a minute ago.
You swallowed in shocked understanding, skin tingling. You felt yourself nod, as Izuku’s fingers strayed to the waist of your pants, dipping below the band.
You let him slowly peel your leggings down, your underwear with them, adjusting as needed to make it easy for him, even as you tried to return your attention to your textbook.
“‘Regardless of Gaussianity, however, if the process and measurement covariances are known, then the Kalman filter is the best possible linear estimator in the minimum mean-square-error sense,’” you quoted, nearly squeaking when Izuku pressed his mouth to your hip, his curls tickling the skin of your belly. His hands gripped either side of your thighs, palms square and rough against your skin, and you tried not to shiver with the feeling.
“Um—‘Although there may be better nonlinear estimators’,” you said, then nearly jumped out of your skin when Izuku pressed his mouth to the core of you, only the strength of his grip stopping you from accidentally kicking him in surprise.
“Oh my g—uh! It—um—‘It is a common misconception perpetuated in the literature that the Kalman filter cannot be rigorously applied unless all noise processes are assumed to be Gaussian,’” you managed, before your cut off into a groan as Izuku layered a hot, sweet kiss over you, tongue dipping carefully between your folds. “Ah-–Izuku—”
Izuku petted a thumb gently over the top of your thigh to show he was listening, even as he swiped his tongue over you again, a long, firm stroke that had your thighs flexing in his hold. He laved over your clit, sucking ever so slightly, and your grip almost tore the edge of your textbooks as it tightened.
“Keep going,” he urged briefly, then did it again, punching a groan out of you.
“Extensions—oh—‘Extensions and generalizations of the method have also been developed, such as the extended Kalman filter and the unscented Kalman filter which work on nonlinear systems,’” you read on, voice shooting up nearly into a squeal when two of Izuku’s long, firm fingers pressed into you, as his mouth moved over you again.
“Ah! Oh my god—the—um, the basis—-” you said, breath growing short. Izuku’s fingers unerringly found the spot inside you that made you twist in his grip with the ease of long practice, and his jaw worked as he kissed you so shockingly filthily. You could feel something already starting to build up behind your navel, a fluttery lightness, an insatiable insistence on more.
“‘The basis a hidden Markov model—oh, fuck—such that the state space of the latent variables is continuous and all latent and observed variables have–ah!--Gaussian distributions,’’’ you recited, your voice tripping up further into a register that sounded more like begging than reading.
Izuku’s fingers worked you, long and thick and perfect inside you, as his tongue drew unrelenting circles around your clit. Stars seemed to spark in your vision, and your eyes squeezed shut, losing your place on the page as your hips flexed into his face. You felt suddenly very floaty and lightheaded, and not at all in a position to keep going.
Still, you tried to refocus your attention.
“‘K–Kalman filtering has been used successfully in—oh—multi-sensor fusion—ah, ah!--and distributed sensor networks–fuck, please, Izuku—to develop distributed or consensus Kalman f-filtering,’” you said, your tone nearly a cry.
Izuku groaned softly, sucking gently as his fingers curled inside you. It made your veins spark under your skin, your legs shaking in Izuku’s hands. You abandoned your grip on your book to seize the arm of the couch, clawing desperately at the fabric.
“Please, Izuku,” you cried, hips bucking towards his mouth.
The book tumbled off your stomach but you hardly noticed, gaze refocusing on the way his eyelashes fluttered as he licked you. His fingers played gently within you, a maddening press that was simultaneously too much and not enough, and his other hand came up to slide under your sweater, plucking gently at your nipple.
You lost yourself to the feeling—caught between the mind-melting curl of his fingers, the delicate suction of his mouth, and the careful pinch of your nipple. A delicious heat curled through you, waves of unbearable pleasure, and you could hear yourself babbling nonsense—garbled syllables of Izuku’s name, and every entreaty you could think of, a hundred thousands mores and oh pleases.
Izuku abandoned your nipple to pull you more firmly against him with a strong arm curled under your thigh, pressing you even harder into his mouth.
You muffled a scream in the sleeve of your sweater as he sucked you harder, tongue laving over you in loving strokes. Only his terrible strength held you down as you writhed beneath him, and then his fingers twisted in a way that had your vision whiting out—and you were suddenly thrown out over the edge of your pleasure.
Izuku licked you through it as you squirmed and begged and cried out his name, your climax seeming to last for eons.
You were panting hard when you finally slumped into the cushions of your couch, the ceiling seeming to swim in and out of focus before your eyes. When you gained enough control of your body again you looked down at Izuku, finding him watching you with a satisfied, almost shy curl to his mouth.
“You’re beautiful,” he told you, emerald gaze glittering with sincerity. “You’re so smart.”
Impossibly you felt your heart swell with even more love for him, and you seized his shoulder, dragging him up over you so you could kiss his mouth. The taste of yourself on him was embarrassing yet thrilling, and you petted a pleased hand through Izuku’s wild mess of curls as you kissed him.
“Well you are amazing,” you told him, swiping a thumb over his cheek fondly, smoothing over his freckles. A gorgeous watercolor of pink washed over his cheeks and nose at the proclamation, and you could hear his fingers flex in the cushion beside your head.
The sight of him flushed and waiting over you like another small something inside of you, like a pilot light, and you let your mouth pull into a wry grin.
“I hope you know I learned nothing though,” you said casually, your plan for your next steps already forming in your head. You let a hand trail carefully down Izuku’s flank, tracking towards his waist. “I think maybe I might need a few rounds for it to really sink in.”
Izuku’s ears went red against the green of his hair, and you felt your smile widen. “Maybe you could read it to me this time?” you asked, guiding him to roll under you, retrieving your book from the floor as you did so.
You settled yourself on the tops of Izuku’s thighs, feeling the hard press of him against your core, as you placed your textbook into his waiting hands.
Izuku’s answering smile was all the permission you needed. You directed him to start from the beginning of the chapter, and he did so in that soft, lilting tone of his you so loved. And then your fingers trailed up to the zipper at his collar.
It was time to return the favor—wholeheartedly.
REFERENCES: Kalman Filtering (Wikipedia) I took the passages our Reader recited from here because I do not actually understand Kalman filtering at all and could not organically come up with feasible text for her to read through. Sorry in advance to the author of this page lol.
#deku x reader#izuku x reader#midoriya x reader#midoriya izuku x reader#izuku midoria x reader#izuku midoriya x you#deku x y/n#bnha x reader#fics for gaza#izuku x you
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Hate your guts (pt 1)
~ this fic is my Christmas gift💙 i'm dividing this into two parts bcs tumblr is shit
pairing: rockstar!hyunjin x rockstar afab!reader
genre: enemies to lovers, fluff, smut
wc: 26.6k
synopsis: hwang hyunjin, your sworn enemy. the person who finds and pushes all your buttons, annoys you and makes you angry. the person you're trying to avoid so badly, only to end up practically sharing a bed with him on tour. let the fun begin!
warnings: lots of swearing, smoking and alcohol, mentions of blood and throwing up, mild violence, multiple sex scenes, unprotected sex, oral (f and m), fingering, handjob, semi-public sex, spanking, creampies, mix of degradation and praise
a/n: thank you @frehyun for helping me come up with a name for hyunjin's band💕 also a thank you to @jehhskz @moonchild9350 and @hyunebunx for giving me suggestions, listening to me yap and being supportive while i was writing this🥹🩷🩷🩷 title is inspired by inji, go listen to her music🫶🏻
a little ramble: feel free to skip this! but i just wanted to say that this was supposed to be done sooner cause i had other fics planned out to write but work got in the way. so i wrote this fic whenever and wherever i could; hiding in the bathroom at work, during my break, at the bus station, at 3am when i couldn't sleep etc... it's been a ride and i'm proud of how it turned out, hopefully y'all enjoy it too🥹🫶🏻
“...And do you look into the mirror to remind yourself you’re there? Or have somebody’s goodnight kisses got that covered? When I’m not being honest, I pretend that you were just some lover…”
It was a perfect but short moment.
The fresh breeze coming into the car where the window was opened just a little was enough to give you some air but still managed to hide most of your face from the outside world.
The music in your ears was loud, so loud that you were drowning in it, the warm and comforting voice, the melancholic guitar riff in the background, and the gentle sluggish drums putting it all together into a song that made your eyes water.
You tuned everything else out as this was the only moment of peace you were going to get today.
You needed every shred of sanity you could gather, and you were determined to hold onto it as much as you could.
Because today, you had an interview with him.
Hwang Hyunjin.
Oh, the name you know so well.
Even thinking about the way it sounds makes you feel angry.
It seemed as if his life mission was to find every single button of yours and push them repeatedly until you exploded like a ticking bomb.
Your mind wandered as you thought about him and how much his existence angered you, your stomach turning into knots.
Or maybe it was just pre-interview nerves.
No matter how many times you talked in front of the camera, it always made you feel anxious and jittery.
Being on stage was fun, there was no anxiety there as whenever you would step on it and see all the people cheering for you and singing along to the music you and your friends wrote, your heart felt full, your soul elated.
It was an exhilarating feeling you couldn’t even begin to explain to someone who’d never experienced it.
Every concern in your head, every ache in your soul, every tear behind your eyelids threatening to spill got erased when you gave yourself to the stage.
If you could, you would definitely try to avoid the interviews and just perform.
But your record company had other plans.
Being the only up and rising all girls rock band in the company meant that you needed promotion, and what better way to promote than to collab with the only boy rock band in the same company?
Hwang Hyunjin’s band.
Yes, you couldn’t wait for this day to be over.
“Y/n!” you were shaken out of your thoughts, as your manager pulled at your headphones.
“What?” you almost snapped at her, startled by her antics.
“You were staring off into space and muttering angrily about Hyunjin. Something like ‘poke his eyes out’ and ‘conceited dick’.” Ana giggled, covering her lips with her hand as you rolled your eyes, realizing that you’ve already arrived at the building for the interview.
“I’m sure you find all this amusing. But I am not amused at all. Last time I had an interview with that... bastard, everyone thought we were dating and started shipping us.” you recoil at the thought. “I would never date someone like him.”
“Oh y/n, lighten up! You know there will always be rumors of all kinds. The dating rumors are the least harmful ones, trust me. Just act like you’re besties with Hyunjin, for an hour tops.”
You take a deep breath in, then sigh.
“I am a professional. I will do this right.” you nod with a determined tone as Ana bumped her fist with yours.
“That’s the spirit!” your manager smacked your thigh happily as you yelped, making her laugh before she exited the car.
Since you were in the underground parking lot, there was no press around so you walked out of the car freely, going directly to the elevator that would take you to the reception.
Ana pressed the button when you walked in and just as the doors started closing, someone’s combat boot was pushed between the silver doors, stopping them and making them open again.
Your eyes traveled up from the boots, to the tight leather pants and the skimpy tank top revealing a tattoo sleeve, right to the face you hoped you won’t be seeing for at least another ten minutes.
Hyunjin had an obnoxious smirk dancing on his lips as he looked down at you, puffing his chest out like some peacock showing off his feathers and you already wanted to smack the shit out of him.
His manager, Anthony waved at the two of you, ushering him into the elevator.
“Good morning y/n, Ana.” Anthony greeted as Hyunjin kept smirking at you.
“It was good until now.” you crossed your arms over your chest.
Even the cologne Hyunjin was wearing made you want to puke your guts out so you stepped away from him.
A chuckle escaped his lips as he leaned on the wall casually, never taking his eyes off of you.
“Aw, you throwing a tantrum already baby?” he smirked at you and you started fuming.
Both of your managers rolled their eyes, Ana muttering ‘here we go again’ as she shook her head.
“I see you have a new piercing on your face. You needed another hole to let the air out of that empty head?” you said, trying to sound nonchalant and Hyunjin scoffed.
“I’m gonna ignore that comment and focus on the fact that you’re counting my piercings. Observing me, huh?” he looked at you smugly.
“Yeah, cause I have nothing better to do than-”
Ding!
“Alright, break it off kids, were here!” Anthony said, quickly pulling Hyunjin out of the elevator.
“See? I can’t stand him.” you groaned as Ana chuckled.
“You stood up to him pretty well.” Ana winked. “Let's go get some coffee, get you properly awake before the interview.” she gripped your shoulders, shaking you a little as you groaned in protest.
Thankfully, Hyunjin had disappeared somewhere and you were glad he wasn’t around to annoy you, as you made small talk with a few of the staff you knew there since you’ve already been interviewed for the same channel before.
“Ana, I’m gonna go get some air before we start.” you felt the nerves creeping up inside you.
“Okay, but you have to be back in five minutes.” she reminded you and you gave her a thumbs up, before practically sprinting down the hall to get to the little terrace hidden on the side.
Staff used it for smoke breaks, and you decided to use it to calm your anxiety down.
You flung the door open and stepped out onto the balcony, quickly taking a deep breath in while you looked down at the city before you.
“Needed to see me once more before the interview?” a voice rang out to the left of you.
Hyunjin’s voice.
Of course the bastard is here, you thought, your face becoming hot in annoyance.
“I had no idea you were here, asshole.” you turned to look at him.
He was leaning on the railing, flexing his muscles, a long vein protruding under the layer of the swirling colorful flowers inked into his skin, leading all the way to his long fingers with chipped nail polish and a cigarette pinched between his thumb and index finger.
He looked at you intently through his bangs that were haphazardly falling into his eyes, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip, before his tongue poked out to play with the piercing adorning it.
“I thought you had more originality when it comes to nicknames, darling.” he said mockingly before taking another drag from his cigarette.
“Don’t call me that.” you turned around to leave but Hyunjin’s long arm quickly blocked your way, his palm splayed on the wall.
You looked up at him and stepped back, just as he puffed the smoke out your way.
“You leaving?” he looked smug again, intrusive thoughts of pushing him off the balcony appeared in your mind.
“Yes, this space is too small and your cologne is nauseating.” your face scrunches up.
“Aw, I’ll make sure to find another one you’d like.” Hyunjin smirks.
“Don’t bother.” you ducked under his arm and opened the door, walking away as fast as you could.
At least he helped in a way, you weren’t anxious anymore, just annoyed and waiting for this day to be over.
“Where is Hyunjin, we’re starting in a minute.” Anthony’s brows furrowed while you were ushered towards the room.
“Last I saw him, he was smoking on the balcony.” you shrugged as they sat you down.
The chair where Hyunjin would be sitting was too close for comfort and you wanted so badly to push it away, but you figured it was there because of the camera frame.
“We’re on in 30 seconds!” one of the staff yelled and you rolled your eyes.
Of course he was late, the self-centered bastard. You were sure he was enjoying this, everyone waiting on his highness to arrive, everyone panicking around him as he wears that disgusting smug smirk on his face.
“In 10…9…” the staff started counting down just as the door swung open and a breathless Hyunjin ran into the room, almost tripping over your crossed legs before he sat down on the chair next to you.
After he ran in, one of the girls working there ran in too, quickly taking her place with rosy cheeks and her lipgloss smeared.
You rolled your eyes and looked at him, the glitter from the girl’s lipgloss was visibly shining on his lips and chin.
“You have a little something.” you said and he smirked, wiping his chin off before leaning towards you.
“My lips were dry.” he whispered with a wink.
You were more than ready to get this over with, seething with anger at his unprofessional behavior that you didn’t even notice the camera began rolling.
“... today’s special guests are y/n of Venus Flytrap and Hyunjin of Lycoris Radiata! I hope y’all are as excited as I am, since it’s been so long. Y/n, let’s start with you. You have a new album coming out soon, can we get a little sneak peek of that?” the interviewer, Sarah, asked as you adjusted on your chair.
“This is our third album now, and this time Steph and Janey participated in the writing more than before, so the songs are really personal to all three of us.”
“Are we finally gonna hear about their love story?” Sarah wiggled her eyebrows.
“We may.” you smirked at her, not wanting to reveal too much.
“How about yours?” she added on, in the corner of your eye you saw Hyunjin leaning towards you as he stared at you, manspreading like always, his knee knocking into yours.
“Huh?”
“Your love story. Is there a special guy or girl in your life?” the interviewer asked, making you feel annoyed instantly.
You hated being asked questions like that, sometimes it felt like the music you were writing didn’t even matter, all people wanted to know was who you’re fucking.
“Not at the moment, no.” you forced a smile so you don’t seem rude.
“I thought I was special.” Hyunjin chimed in next to you, bumping his shoulder against yours, that shit eating grin you hate spreading on his face.
Before you could answer, Sarah butted in.
“Oh, is there something happening between you that we should know about?”
You could just hear the excitement in her voice, the hunger for drama dripping from her lips.
“Nothing is happening, we just like to joke around like that.” you quickly answered, hoping to deflect her to another question, or that she’d finally talk to Hyunjin and ask him about his new song, so you could take a few moments to breathe.
“So, you two are close?”
Oh no.
Here it goes again.
Last time this happened, your name got dragged on every social media platform.
People who were shipping the two of you got on your nerves, but that wasn’t the biggest problem.
No, it was the people who had sent you hate and death threats, telling you if they saw you next to Hyunjin again you’d be dead.
It took a toll on your mental health and scared you since you know people can easily find an address or stalk you somewhere and you wanted to avoid any rumors that would endanger your well-being.
“We're just coworkers.” to your surprise Hyunjin answered nonchalantly, saying exactly what you wanted to say so people would leave you alone.
Why was there a weird feeling in your chest then?
“Well, sometimes there’s passion at the workplace.” Sarah wasn’t giving it up and you were close to losing your temper and telling her to shove it already, ask some less invasive questions.
“No passion here, our relationship is strictly professional.” you said, but your skin burned where Hyunjin’s thigh pressed against yours.
In your mind you were cursing both him and Sarah, and even your manager for bringing you here.
Thankfully, she left it at that, continuing with questions about your upcoming tour and Hyunjin’s new song.
As soon as the interview finished and you were done shaking hands, Ana came to you, her hand on your shoulder as she squeezed.
In the corner of your eye, you saw Hyunjin slip out of the room.
“Good job.” she smiled as Anthony joined the two of you.
“I hope you’re hungry, y/n. This time it’s my treat, and there’s this restaurant…”
You tuned Anthony out, completely forgetting that after an interview like this, the tradition is to have dinner with Hyunjin and his manager.
“Can we skip dinner this time? I just wanna go home and lay down.”
“Nonsense, I hear your stomach growling from here. Come on, it’s free food you can’t say no.” Anthony made a goofy face, hoping to win you over.
“Fine, you had me at free food.” you sighed as Ana nodded with a smile.
“Good! Now where is our other rockstar?” he quickly looked around. “I swear, sometimes I feel like I’m a babysitter, not a manager.”
“I’ll go find him.” you offered, wanting to leave the building as soon as possible.
“Sure.” Ana nodded and you made your way down the hall.
Your footsteps echoed in the empty space, until you came closer to a corner where the sounds of hushed voices and giggles filled up your ears and made you roll your eyes.
“You know I can’t give you my number, baby. But if there is an empty room around here somewhere…” Hyunjin was talking to the girl from earlier, leaning over her body as she stared up at him like he was a god, her back against the wall.
You cleared your throat, crossing your arms on your chest.
Both of them looked up at you, Hyunjin giving you a smirk as he straightened up and the girl glared at you but you didn’t give a shit.
“We need to leave right now. Our managers are waiting for us.” you said simply as the girl whined.
“Shh, maybe some other time.” he shushed her, leaning towards her and your stomach flipped in disgust.
He didn’t kiss her, just taunted her before he leaned back and made his way towards you.
“Cockblocker.” he stuck his tongue out, the piercing adorning it catching the light for a moment.
“Do you even know her name?” you asked, keeping a fast pace and a good distance away from him.
“No. Does it matter?” he shrugged, his long legs quickly catching up to you in big strides.
“You’re despicable.” your face scrunched up in disgust as you neared the elevator where your managers were waiting and chatting.
“Throwing some big words around. You sure you know the meaning?” he smirked.
“That’s it.” you said angrily.
“What? You just basically told me I deserve to be hated just cause I wanted to have some fun.”
You looked at him, full on ready to slap him across his face but Ana stepped between the two of you.
“Fighting again? Can the two of you behave for just one evening?” Anthony frowned with a sigh as he called the elevator.
“I can behave.” Hyunjin clicked his tongue cheekily before playing with his lip ring again.
“Y/n?” Ana looked at you.
“As long as he doesn’t talk to me, I’ll be fine.” you turned away from Hyunjin, stepping into the elevator.
This is going to be one awkward dinner.
-
Choosing to disconnect in the van you put your earphones in, ignoring Hyunjin’s presence right next to you.
It’s like your managers wanted to have you two as close as possible, like they thought it’d make you hate each other less but at this moment there was nothing more you wanted than to get away from him.
Or maybe your managers wanted to be closer to each other, you smirked to yourself as Ana twirled her hair around her finger, giggling at something Anthony said.
You leaned back as the music flooded your ears, your figure slightly turned towards the window as you watched the street lights pass you by, totally unaware of a pair of eyes that were glued to you.
Hyunjin observed you in detail, how shiny your hair was as it cascaded down your back and shoulders, how your brows were slightly creased and your lips pouty as you listened to your music, the steady rise and fall of your chest, the way your fingers played with the hem of your shirt as you pulled on it, how pretty the rings adorning your fingers were, how the necklace you always wore laid gently on your collarbone.
No little detail was skipped as he drinked it all in, thinking you wouldn’t notice.
But after some time as it got even darker outside, you caught Hyunjin’s reflection in the window as he stared at you with a look on his face that you’ve never seen before.
Your stomach suddenly swirled as the two of you made eye contact on the glass, Hyunjin’s plump lips falling open before he sat up and looked away, acting like nothing happened.
The rest of the ride was uneventful and you were tired of this day, having to look at Hyunjin was more exhausting to you than being on stage.
You couldn’t wait to get into your bed and disappear.
As you walked into the restaurant, you were led to a table and you could see a few people whispering and pointing at you but usually they didn’t bother you much.
However, this time was different.
As you scanned the menu, a girl timidly approached your table and you looked up at her as she stood next to Hyunjin.
“I’m - I’m sorry to bother you but I’m a really big fan and I was wondering if you’d take a picture with me?” she asked Hyunjin who immediately smirked at her.
“No pictures allowed. But you can get his signature.” Anthony chimed in.
“And who the fuck are you?” the girl changed her demeanor right away, making Hyunjin chuckle.
“Easy there, sweetheart, that’s my boss.” he wiggled his eyebrows at the girl. “Come on I’ll give you a sign and you can write me your number, maybe I’ll call you, hm?” Hyunjin winked at her and you just about lost your appetite completely.
“Oh, sure, I’d love that!” she let out a nasally laugh as he signed a napkin with a pen she somehow produced, giving it back to her as she leaned over to write her number down, making sure her tits were right in his face before she skipped back to her friends.
“Can there be at least one minute when you’re not trying to fuck something that walks?” you looked at him annoyingly and he laughed.
“Thought you weren’t talking to me.” he smirked.
“Ugh, you’re so annoying!” you were ready to smack him with the menu in your hand but Ana caught your wrist.
“I bet you love that about me.” he kept smirking.
“Love is nothing near what I feel about you.” you said, your teeth gritted.
“There’s a fine line between love and hate, you know.” Hyunjin smirked, leaning into your personal space.
“Anyways, guys. What are you ordering? Their steak is really good.” Anthony gave an awkward smile as he looked around the table.
“I want the tomato pasta.” Hyunjin leaned back, making you cackle.
“Isn’t that the kids menu? Makes sense for you somehow.”
“I’m saving room for dessert.” he winked at you, his tongue running over his lip tentatively, the piercing on it catching the light again.
“Ew.” you jolted in disgust as he laughed loudly, obviously finding enjoyment in ticking you off.
The dinner part of the outing was uneventful as everyone ate and made small talk but you didn’t miss how Hyunjin crumpled up the napkin with the fan’s number and threw it aside on the table, not caring about it.
What an asshole.
“Let’s make a little toast to this evening and the upcoming albums and tour.” Ana proposed as she lifted her glass up.
“To us.” Hyunjin smirked as he looked at you.
“To rock’n’roll!” you added as the four of you clinked your glasses together before taking a big swig of your drinks.
Hyunjin didn’t look at you on the drive home.
-
Rehearsal was supposed to start at 9am sharp, but you were there bright and early, tuning your guitar.
Being an early bird, you loved the few moments of peace you could have to yourself, just you and your music.
Your hand glided easily on the guitar’s neck, taking shapes familiar to your hands, it was muscle memory by now, your fingers picking on the strings and creating the melody you played countless times before.
You let your voice ring out in the space freely as you sang a song dear to your heart, one you wrote when you were younger.
You’d always start warming up by singing it to yourself, never having the need to actually put it out into the world.
You got into it, your eyes closed as you sang with a small smile on your face, the entire world around you disappearing shortly.
In the distance, you heard footsteps and voices belonging to your bandmates and just as you opened your eyes, you looked through the glass on the door, a shadow slithered across the wall outside, disappearing around the corner.
You squinted your eyes and stood up, putting your guitar aside and coming closer to the door.
Just as you were about to reach towards the doorknob, the voices got louder.
“Are we seriously doing this right now?” Janey asked, the tone of her voice angry.
“I’m telling you, it was nothing! I don’t know who she is and why she’s texting me!” Steph defended herself as Janey scoffed.
“I’m sick of your excuses. I’m gonna give you one last chance to make it up to me and be truthful, but after that I’m done.” you stepped back as Janey came into view, opening the door angrily.
“Oh, y/n.” she widened her eyes slightly. “Good morning.” she added, scurrying past you to take her place behind the drum kit.
Steph walked in with a scowl on her face, muttering a ‘morning’ before going straight to her bass guitar.
It wasn’t the first time they fought or even broke up.
There were many times you had to be the mediator between them, trying to get them to communicate and even though it was frustrating, you didn’t want them to give up on their relationship easily and you couldn’t really take sides since they were both your friends.
“Shall we?” you asked and they nodded.
It took some warming up as always but soon you got into the groove, rehearsing for a small performance that was happening tonight.
You were excited because during the performance you planned to reveal your new song and see how people like it in person.
The only thorn in your eye was the fact that Hyunjin’s band will be there too, performing right after yours.
You were dreading to see him again, since that interview last week you had managed to avoid him skilfully, but you couldn’t hide forever.
And even though your rehearsal went somewhat smoothly, there was tension in the air and you didn’t like that feeling.
It felt like a storm was coming and you weren’t sure if you’re ready to take it on.
-
Evening came around quickly, everyone was already gathered backstage and you were dressed and ready, having rehearsed once more on the stage, tuning your guitars and getting ready for the most fun part.
You peered from the back, seeing all the people gathering made your heart swell, a smile spreading on your face automatically.
“Quite a turn out, huh?”
Your eye literally twitched when you heard Hyunjin’s voice behind you, too close for comfort as his figure loomed over you and you felt the warmth of his body on your back.
You turned your head slightly as he peered down at you with that annoying smirk you absolutely hate.
“Of course.” you said, squeezing your body between him and the curtain, ignoring him calling after you as you walked away as fast as you could.
You’re not gonna let him ruin tonight for you.
It was time to go on stage anyways.
You and your girls did a little cheer as tradition before the performance, Ana coming up to hug you and wish you good luck.
“Break a leg.” Hyunjin appeared out of nowhere and you only rolled your eyes before whipping around and almost smacking him with your hair as you made your way towards the stage.
As soon as you walked out, loud screams filled up your ears and everything negative was forgotten and locked away in a drawer in the back of your mind.
“Are you ready to rock tonight?!” you screamed out into the mic as the three of you took your positions.
Hyunjin watched you from the side with an unreadable look on his face, but you weren’t even aware of it and you didn’t care.
All you cared about was this moment.
The moment where you get to share your love for music with thousands of people.
It was exhilarating, watching the mass of bodies sway like one, hearing all the people singing the lyrics you wrote in unison.
Nothing could compare to this and every time you stood under that light, you knew you were born for this.
Giddy from everything, you skipped backstage once you finished playing the last song; which happened to be the new one and people more than loved it judging by their excited screams.
“That was amazing!” Ana met you halfway, giving high fives to all three of you.
You were still trying to catch your breath as you giggled, when Hyunjin appeared next to you again.
“Aren’t you gonna wish me good luck?” he smirked at you, shamelessly giving you the elevator eyes.
“Good luck guys!” Janey yelled at all four members with a smile and a thumbs up but Hyunjin shook his head.
“I want her to say it or I’m not going out on stage.” he crossed his arms on his chest, pouting and tapping his foot like a child about to throw a tantrum.
“Come on, Hyun, we need to get out there!” Aiden, the band’s bassist called out.
“Not moving until y/n wishes me good luck.” he quickly shook his head, his fluffy hair shaking with it and you thought how he resembled a dog; in more ways than one.
“Fine you spoiled brat. Good luck.” you said sarcastically and he scoffed.
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” he smirked, leaning into your personal space again.
“Get on the stage, Hyunjin.” you sighed and he chuckled in delight.
“Watch me closely.” he winked before running off.
“I can just cut the tension in the air with a knife.” Steph smirked at you, wiggling her eyebrows.
“Oh, fuck off!” you said, smacking the back of her head as she cackled.
You did end up watching Hyunjin’s band perform after refreshing yourself, but pretty soon you’ve come to regret that decision.
He was wild while performing, stripping out of his jacket as he screamed into the mic, sweating under the bright lights pointed directly at him making him look like an insane glazed donut as he strutted around the stage acting all smug even though he tripped over his dumb long legs multiple times.
He’d lean over towards his little groupies, holding their hand or caressing their faces, blowing them kisses and whatnot, all of that behavior making your gut churn in disgust.
The last straw was when he laid down on his back and started humping the air while moaning into the mic.
Even though the crowd screamed louder than before and the horny fans almost started hyperventilating, you felt second hand embarrassment at witnessing this.
Hyunjin continued moaning before he threw his head back, his eyes locking with yours.
A shiver ran down your spine as he smirked at you, all sweaty, his hair sticking to his forehead, his piercings shining in the light, the veins on his neck visible and his cheeks red.
A warmness spread in your navel as he winked, licking at his lip slowly, taunting you before he moaned extra loudly, the pornographic sound echoing in your ears.
You frowned suddenly at your heart beating fast and your legs pressing together.
What the fuck is wrong with me?, you thought, quickly shaking your head as he finally looked away from you and stood up.
Of course, he got showered by multiple bras on stage, you think you even caught a glimpse of someone throwing their panties and you couldn’t watch anymore.
It was truly disgusting.
You quickly shoved past some staff members watching and gasping at whatever Hyunjin was doing now.
Pushing past everyone, you made your way outside to get some fresh air in the hidden area behind backstage, where staff and musicians usually smoked or chilled after a performance.
You greeted some of the staff before finding a spot where you could be alone.
You were about to relax when you heard kissing sounds and as you turned to look around the corner you saw Steph kissing some random girl.
You couldn’t contain the gasp that flew out of your mouth, making them jolt away from each other.
Steph’s eyes widened when she saw you and you quickly spun around, noticing Janey had just walked outside too and started looking around.
“Y/n, wait!” Steph yelled behind you. “It’s not what you think! Please, don’t tell Janey!” she looked at you desperately but you hated cheaters more than anything, seeing her betrayal with your own eyes broke any sort of connection you had with her.
“Isn’t it? Your tongue was down some girl’s throat. Now, what do you call that?” you scoffed.
“What?” Janey appeared next to you, just as the girl who Steph was kissing before stood behind her.
“It’s not like that, I-”
You could see Janey’s eyes filling up with tears.
“That’s it, I’m done. With you and with the band. With everything.” you gasped when she said that, your eyes wide.
“Janey, don’t be like that, it didn’t mean anything to me-” Steph started.
“Liar, you told me you’d leave her for me.” the girl behind Steph chimed in.
“Oh, so this has been going on for some time?” Janey looked between Steph and the girl.
“Let’s talk about this inside.” you tried to lead them in as people were whispering and looking at the four of you.
“I have nothing else to say. I’m sorry, y/n. I can’t be a part of this band anymore when all it’s gonna do is remind me of this cheating whore.” Janey spat before turning around and leaving.
“Okay, I deserve that but like I’m sorry that-”
“Save it, Steph. I can’t believe you did this. You put your desires over the well-being of our band. You do understand that your actions not only affect Janey, but also me, Ana and the rest of the record company?” you asked her, your blood boiling with anger.
“I- I’m sorry, let me make it right. I’ll talk to Janey and she’ll forgive me once she understands-”
“You think I want you to be part of the band after this? That’s rich.” you turned around too, in hopes of finding Janey.
“Y/n, you can’t throw me out of the band!” Steph yelled behind you.
“I just did.” you said coldly before opening the door and rushing into the backstage room.
“Is Janey here?” you asked Ana and before she could answer, someone bumped into you rather strongly, making you stumble backwards a little.
You turned around angrily, noticing a very sweaty and breathless Hyunjin staring at you with a smile, his tongue lolling out of his lips as he played with his piercing.
“So, did you like my performance?” he winked at you. “Did it get you excited?” the famous shit eating grin spread on his face as he leaned in closer to you, a few droplets of sweat dripping from his hair.
“I don’t have time for your games, Hyunjin. Please leave me alone.” you said annoyingly, noticing he had a bra hooked around his hand.
“What’s going on?” Ana asked, looking at you confusedly.
You were shaken up, the anger you felt manifesting into tears and you cursed yourself for being so emotional and quick to cry.
“Woah, you’re crying!” Hyunjin stepped even closer to you but you’ve had enough of him.
“Get away from me, asshole!” you channeled all your anger his way as you pressed your hands on his chest, pushing him away.
Hyunjin stumbled with a gasp, a shocked look on his face.
“What the hell is happening here?” Anthony quickly came to Hyunjin’s side as his bandmates watched everything unfold.
“Ana, can we talk in private?” you glared once more at Hyunjin and she quickly nodded, hooking her arm with yours and taking you away from the scene.
Hyunjin watched your figure disappear out of view with a deep frown on his face.
-
It’s been a dreadful week.
You’ve tried talking to Janey multiple times, begging her to come back, promising to her that you wouldn’t let Steph come anywhere near her.
Sadly, Janey was insistent on not wanting to continue with the band since lots of the songs were written by her and her now ex girlfriend who betrayed her in such an ugly way.
You talked to Ana almost every day on the phone but you weren’t up for any visits, choosing instead to wallow in your sadness.
Your band fell apart, your friends were no longer together, your album couldn’t be published and people were speculating, spreading rumors, you were getting numerous curious comments asking what happened to Venus Flytrap.
You had no idea what to do at that moment.
You just needed some time to yourself to figure out what your next step should be.
You were lounging in your bed when your phone buzzed for the hundredth time.
Rolling your eyes, you grabbed it and saw that you had a text message from an unknown number.
???: hey there pretty girl! don’t be so sad! there are worse things than your band falling apart.
you: what, like death? and who is this?
???: your favorite person in the whole world<3
you: hyunjin??
???: aw i knew i was your favorite!
You started seething immediately as you sat up, your heart beating fast instantly as you worked yourself up into annoyance.
You quickly put his contact under ‘asshole’.
you: no, i knew that a conceited answer like that can only come from an asshole like you.
you: now, what do you want?
asshole: did you save my contact as asshole? or dickhead? which one is it?
you: wouldn’t you like to know. seriously what the hell do you want. i’ll block you if you don’t get on with it
asshole: just wanted to see if you maybe want to talk to someone
you: if i did, i wouldn’t choose you. have a nice day away from me hyunjin
Hyunjin didn’t answer your last text, instead he left you on read and you tossed your phone across your bed, now feeling even more infuriated than before.
You squinted your eyes, grabbing your phone again and texting Ana.
you: did you give my number to hyunjin??
Ana: i’m sorry! he wouldn’t stop bugging me about it! pls don’t be mad
Just great.
Why is he insisting on annoying you even when you feel down in the dumps, you thought, he always has to come in and make you feel even more mad.
You were hoping that with your last text he’d finally leave you alone.
You also hoped you wouldn’t be seeing him any time soon.
But boy, you couldn’t be more wrong.
-
“What?!” you yelled so loudly that it echoed off of the office walls.
“Y/n, please we don’t know any other solution. Lycoris Radiata is going to tour in 4 days and you’re the only person who knows their songs by heart. You can also kick ass with drums. And well, you’re kinda free now.” Anthony grimaced.
“You can’t do this to me. I can’t spend so much time with Hwang Hyunjin!” you whined like a child, kicking your legs under the table as Ana gave you an apologetic look.
“Gossiping about me?” Hyunjin strolled in, with that annoying smirk, his hair in a little ponytail, showing more of his ear piercings and his sharp jawline.
He took off his leather jacket, throwing it haphazardly on the chair before he plopped down into it.
He spun around in the chair to face you as you looked at him with a scowl on your face.
Brendon, his guitarist and Aiden joined the meeting right after that.
“So, ready to be my new drummer?” Hyunjin wiggled his eyebrows at you.
“Not a chance in hell.”
“Y/n, please, we have no other choice! Phil had to leave so suddenly due to his sickness. We couldn’t be prepared for something like that. We can’t afford to postpone the tour now.” Brendon pleaded as Aiden nodded next to him.
You leaned back into the chair, pursing your lips as you gave it a thought.
Of course they’d choose you.
You knew their songs by heart since you shared so many tours together but you had your own bus and mostly ran into Hyunjin either backstage or at an afterparty but if you would become a part of his band you’d spend most of your time with him.
But this could be good for you to give yourself time to decide what you wanna do next while touring with Lycoris Radiata.
And since you were a multi instrumentalist, playing the drums wouldn’t be a problem for you.
You smirked suddenly before tilting your head at Hyunjin.
“Fine. I will tour with you under one condition.” you said.
“Anything!” Anthony piped in but you kept staring at Hyunjin.
“I want you to beg.” your smirk deepened and Hyunjin’s eyes widened slightly, his fingers twitching against his thighs.
“What?” he blinked repeatedly and you chuckled under your breath.
“Beg me to join your band or I’m not doing it.”
Hyunjin’s lips opened and closed a few times before he frowned.
“I don’t beg. I demand.” he smirked, taunting you.
“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, you’re in no position to have demands. However, I am. So if I want you to beg, Hyunjin, you’re gonna beg.” you sat up straight as he looked at you in pure shock.
“My, my darling. I didn’t know you were this commanding. I kinda dig that.” he wiggled his eyebrows.
“Any day now.” you were ready to stand up and leave.
The room was eerily silent and Brendon opened his lips to speak up but Anthony grabbed his wrist and quickly shook his head.
You could see the gears turning in Hyunjin’s head as he stared at you, and slowly but surely his cheeks became red as he closed his eyes in frustration.
“Pretty please, join my band and come on tour with us?” he said, rather quickly and you tsked.
“Not convincing enough.” you enjoyed having the upper hand, the roles reversed as you pushed Hyunjin’s buttons.
“What do you want me to do?! Kneel at your feet?” he whined.
“Maybe.” you shrugged.
“Unbelievable! I’m the one doing you a favor anyways.” Hyunjin said, clearly annoyed and you were reveling in it.
You wanted him to get the taste of his own medicine.
“Is that so?” you raised your eyebrow as he breathed hard.
“Yes, your band is as good as dead right now, just like your career.” he said with a smug smirk, making everyone gasp.
“Hyunjin!” Aiden scolded him and you stood up, feeling your eyes water as you lifted your hand, your palm colliding with Hyunjin’s cheek.
The force of your slap turned his head right and he grabbed at his cheek immediately, his eyes wide, his face becoming red quickly.
“Fuck you!” you said angrily before turning around and leaving the room as tears started sliding down your cheeks.
“Now look at what you did!” Anthony was mad and Hyunjin shrugged with a frown, realizing quickly that maybe he did cross a line.
“How could you say something like that to y/n?” Brendon asked, and Hyunjin looked at them, feeling dejected suddenly as he rubbed at his cheek.
There was strength in your hands, that he was sure of.
“I fucked up, okay! I didn’t mean to say that.” he shook his head. “I will make this right.” Hyunjin added, standing up.
“Dude, I think you’re the last person y/n wants to see right now.” Aiden said.
“But I have to apologize to her.” Hyunjin chewed on his lip, playing with his piercing as a nervous habit.
“I’ll go with you then.” Aiden nodded, standing up as well.
“Fine.” Hyunjin sighed.
You sat in the swinging chair on one of the many balconies of the building, letting your tears slip down your cheeks as the wind picked up, making you shiver.
Hyunjin and Aiden found you pretty quickly and before Aiden could follow him to the balcony, Hyunjin smacked his hand on Aiden’s chest.
“Please, just wait here.”
“Fine, but if you provoke her again, I’m coming in.” Aiden sighed, shaking his head.
The door of the balcony opened and in the corner of your eye you saw Hyunjin’s combat boots and his leather pants.
“Go away.” you said quietly, sniffling and turning away from him.
Hyunjin stood frozen for a moment, holding his jacket in his hand and you took that time to quickly wipe away your tears.
You didn’t want to look weak in front of your enemy.
Footsteps approached and suddenly you felt a weight on your shoulders and back.
You looked down, realizing that Hyunjin had put his jacket around you and it smelled like cigarettes mixed with cologne he always wears and something distinctly him.
You took a deep breath and for some reason, calmness settled all over your body.
“I’m really sorry for what I said back there. It was way out of line.”
You didn’t say anything, still refusing to look at him.
“And I’m sorry about your band. I know that must be hard to go through. I feel bad that my drummer had to leave, I don’t know how I’d feel if-”
“Are you done?” you turned to look at him and his lips pressed together.
“I don’t care how you feel, Hyunjin. Just like you didn’t care about hurting me moments ago.” you stood up, ready to throw his jacket away.
“Well, I apologized!” he threw his hands up, rolling his eyes. “Though, I’m glad I have that effect on you, I didn’t know you cared so much about what I think or say.” he smirked suddenly.
You were tempted to slap his other cheek at that moment, and Aiden must’ve sensed it so he walked out to the balcony.
“Are we okay?” he asked, gulping.
“Not until he apologizes properly.” you crossed your arms with a smirk, and he knew exactly what you meant.
“Ugh! This is the first and last time I get on my knees for you.” Hyunjin said annoyingly as he kneeled down and you chuckled in delight.
“I’m sorry for being an asshole and if you could find it in your heart to forgive me, I’d be honored for you to join my band.” he batted his eyelashes at you.
“Mm…” you pursed your lips, acting like you were contemplating it as he rolled his eyes again.
“Fine. I accept.” you shrugged and Hyunjin stood up quickly with a smile.
“Welcome to the band, sweetheart!” he smirked, opening his arms for a hug and you quickly dodged under his arm and slithered away.
“You’re welcome.” you smirked back, grabbing his jacket and throwing it at him.
He caught it just as you walked back into the hallway, grinning to himself as you walked away.
“She wants me so bad.” Hyunjin said as Aiden’s eyebrows lifted comically.
“I think she wants to kill you.” he said and Hyunjin chuckled, smacking Aiden’s shoulder and grabbing him.
“I know what chicks like, okay?”
“You also know that y/n isn’t one of your little groupies?” Aiden sighed.
“I know, don’t worry. She’s special.” Hyunjin smiled, hugging his jacket to his chest, getting a whiff of your perfume that stayed on it.
Aiden shook his head with a chuckle.
This is gonna be one hell of a tour.
-
The party was in full swing.
That morning you had packed for the tour, your stomach swirling with nerves so much that you thought you’d throw up.
You were actually going on tour with Lycoris Radiata, for at least six months.
A lot can happen in that amount of time and while you were nervous to spend so much time with the infuriating and annoying asshole aka Hwang Hyunjin, you were also excited for the new experience and the places you’ll get to see.
Of course, you couldn’t leave without attending a ‘have an amazing tour’ party that was mostly exclusive only for staff and a few other people.
You were on your second glass of beer as you sat at the bar, the cold bitter liquid not calming you down as it should.
Hyunjin was having a jolly old time, entertaining some girls of course and if you had rolled your eyes any harder, they’d get stuck in the back of your head.
“Don’t take that to heart.” Aiden suddenly appeared next to you.
“What?” you chuckled awkwardly, shaking away your thoughts.
“Hyunjin flirting like that. He’s a lot of talk, more than anything else.”
“Why would I care if he flirts with some random girls?” you frowned. “It’s none of my business.”
“Right.” Aiden pursed his lips. “Well, I’m gonna go find Anthony.”
“Sure.” you shrugged, your eyes flying back to Hyunjin and the girls who were salivating all over him.
He was showing them his biceps and they were touching him like they’ve never seen a human arm in their life.
You scoffed, shaking your head when a voice behind you startled you.
“Now, why is a pretty lady such as yourself sitting all alone?”
You turned around with your eyebrow lifted, coming face to face with a stranger.
“Because it’s her choice.” you answered.
“Oh, feisty and pretty? That’s a fun combo.” the guy smirked, his arm leaning on your chair, almost hugging your waist as he got closer to you.
Your nose scrunched up, he smelled of alcohol and you really wanted him to leave you alone.
“I’m pretty boring, trust me.” you said.
“Oh, I don’t believe that. In fact, I think if you were to let me take you home tonight, you and I could have so much fun.” he smirked and you were pretty sure you barfed in your mouth a little.
“No, thank you.” you said sarcastically.
He chuckled, placing his arms around you.
You were completely unaware of Hyunjin who was keeping an eye on you and the suspicious guy.
As soon as the man placed his hands on you, Hyunjin pushed the girl he was talking to aside, his heavy combat boots taking him right to you and the disturbance in your personal space.
“I don’t really take no for an answer.” he said and your heart sank momentarily.
“Back off man!” you tried to push him away but he wasn’t budging.
Suddenly the guy was ripped away from you with such force that it pulled you to your feet.
You grabbed at the bar to steady yourself and gasped just in time to see Hyunjin swinging his fist at the man.
“Oh my god!” you almost screamed, your eyes wide as the guy fell to the floor instantly.
People quickly gathered around and Anthony was trying to push them away so he could grab Hyunjin.
“The lady said no, you fucking dirtbag!” Hyunjin said, swinging at the man again.
“Oh my god, Hyunjin! Stop, it’s okay, please!” you panicked, never seeing him this angry or violent.
“Hwang! Enough!” Anthony yelled, grabbing Hyunjin’s arms and lifting him up as he fought against his manager, still trying to punch the man who was now laying on the floor with his face completely bloody.
You kept looking at Hyunjin with a shocked expression as he breathed hard, his face red and sweaty from anger, the veins on his neck and forehead popping out.
“I stopped, now let me go.” he said through his teeth as someone lifted up the unconscious guy.
“Hyunjin, if this gets out to the press it could turn into a fucking shitstorm! What the hell is wrong with you?!” Anthony yelled angrily as Hyunjin stood with his fists still clenched.
“He made y/n uncomfortable and he deserved it.” Hyunjin answered before turning towards you.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes softening as you stared at him in disbelief.
“I-I’m fine.”
“Good. I’m done with this party.” Hyunjin said, turning on his heel and grabbing his jacket before he walked out, leaving you standing there still trying to process what the hell just happened.
-
You were half asleep when Ana drove you to the tour bus.
You barely slept last night, tossing and turning in your bed as the images of Hyunjin punching that guy from the party kept swimming in your head.
Never has a man defended you like that and you’ve never seen Hyunjin look so livid before.
He was usually either smirking, laughing or being a menace, ready to always annoy you but you’ve never seen him actually angry.
It was kind of… hot, you thought before shaking it off.
You wondered why he reacted like that.
“You okay?” Ana snapped you out of your vegetative state as you sank in the passenger seat, arms crossed and hood over your head.
“Hm? Yeah, just sleepy.” you sat up and looked around.
The sun wasn’t even up yet.
“You can continue sleeping on the tour bus. We’re here.” she chuckled.
“Oh, goody.” you sighed before opening the door and walking out.
“Morning, ladies.” Anthony all but ran up to Ana, helping her with yours and her bags since she’d be joining you too.
“Morning? It’s still night.” you checked your phone, seeing it was 4:13am.
“Not where I come from. You see-” Anthony started.
“Okay, I’m too asleep to listen to this.” you shook your head before strolling towards the bus.
You were about to just climb in and go straight to the nearest bed you could find but you heard some quiet music coming from behind the back of the bus.
You approached slowly and peeked around to see Hyunjin leaning on the wall, smoking and listening to some quiet music.
He looked up instantly, seeming like a deer caught in headlights for a short moment.
“Remembered to put on a jacket?” he smirked.
“Ha ha. Very funny.” you said and he shrugged, looking away and turning the music off.
As he brought his cigarette to his lips, you noticed his knuckles were red and injured.
“I guess I should thank you for last night.” you said quietly, swinging on your feet awkwardly as you dug your hands in your pockets.
“It was nothing.” he shook his head quickly.
“I wouldn’t call that nothing.” you motioned to his hand.
“This?” he looked at his hand and chuckled. “You should see the other guy.” he winked at you, making you roll your eyes.
“Clever.”
“Come to think of it, it does hurt a bit. Wanna kiss it better?” Hyunjin smirked, puffing the smoke out.
“Bite me.” you gave him the middle finger as he laughed, the sound ringing out in the quiet early hours.
“I might. If you ask nicely.” he said with that smug expression of his.
“I’m going inside.” you shivered, realizing how cold it actually was, ignoring his witty quips.
“I’m right behind ya.” he threw his cigarette on the floor before stepping on it.
Your heart started beating fast out of nowhere as his heavy boots stomped behind you, the sound escorting you to the entrance of the bus.
“Oh wow.” your eyes widened as you looked around the living/kitchen area.
“You like?” Hyunjin leaned over your shoulder and you jolted away from him, making him snicker.
“Yeah, it’s… not what I expected. It looks more cozy than I thought it would.” you nodded.
“You should thank the interior designer.” he wiggled his eyebrows.
“And who might that be?” you asked, making your way to the bunk bed area.
“Oh, just a guy. He takes payment in kisses.” Hyunjin bumped into you as you stopped.
“Is that guy maybe you?” you turned around, not realizing immediately just how close Hyunjin was to you.
“Maybe it is.” he leaned towards you with a smirk and you squealed a little, stepping away from him.
“Give it up. I’m taking the top bunk bed.” you pointed to the left side.
“Not fair! I always take that one!” Hyunjin pouted.
“Tough luck, I called it first.” you smirked, taking off your jacket and throwing it up on the bed.
“Or… we can both sleep up there?” Hyunjin said and you scoffed, pushing him away.
“Like hell!”
“Are y’all fighting this early?” Brendon came in, looking confused and disheveled.
“No, it’s foreplay.” Hyunjin wiggled his eyebrows and you made gagging noises.
“Here’s your bag, y/n.” Ana appeared with your luggage.
Aiden and Anthony came in after and everyone took some time to unpack and get settled.
“I heard we have two pretty ladies with us, so you fellas gotta behave now.” you heard an unknown voice and leaned over to see who it belonged to.
“Oh, we always behave, Stu.” Hyunjin smirked.
“Yes, especially you.” the man, Stu, rolled his eyes.
“This is our main driver Stu.” Aiden introduced you and Ana to him.
“Pleasure to meet you ladies. Hopefully the road won’t be too bumpy.” he winked before turning around and leaving.
“Where is Bradley?” Anthony piped in suddenly.
“Who’s Bradley?” you asked, at this moment you just wanted to get everything over with and catch up on some sleep.
“Our sound guy.” Brendon answered. “And lights guy. He is underpaid and overworked, basically.” he added, giving Anthony a pointed look.
“Hey, it’s not my fault Mike quit!” he lifted his hands up. “Besides, we’re picking someone up in the next town over. He’ll be our roadie along with Bradley.”
As they started discussing, you slipped away to the bathroom, where you could change in peace and get ready for bed.
You leaned on the counter, staring at yourself in the mirror as you listened to the muffled voices talking.
Were you doing the right thing?
Accepting to join another band when your heart still hurts from the sudden falling apart between your friends and band members…
“Y/n, I need the bathroom!” Hyunjin’s voice brought you back to reality and you stood up straight.
“I’m not done yet!” you yelled back. “You have another bathroom!” you added annoyingly, preparing to brush your teeth.
“Aiden hogged it. Are you naked or something? Cause I swear I don’t mind.”
You could just hear the smirk in his voice.
Rolling your eyes, you opened the door and Hyunjin gave you the elevator eyes and they lingered on your legs in the shorts you put on, going up to your chest and lingering again before he looked up at your face.
He was playing with his lip ring again, his cheeks rosy.
“What do you want?” you spat.
“Just wanna brush my teeth.” he looked at you smugly.
You didn’t say anything, just stepped aside and continued brushing your teeth.
You opted to leave the door opened since it felt awkward to have them closed.
“Isn’t this fun, us brushing our teeth together? It’s kinda domestic, don’t you think?” Hyunjin said suddenly, the familiar smirk on his face.
“Yes, thrilling.” you answered sarcastically. “You don’t have to act nice, Hyunjin. Everyone knows we hate each other so let’s just not talk too much and try to coexist peacefully for the sake of everyone else on this tour.”
Hyunjin opened his mouth to answer but you quickly turned around and left, not wanting to get into it with him when you were tired and nervous.
He smirked to himself, shaking his head.
The only thing stuck in his brain at that moment was the way you said his name.
God, he loved it.
-
You slept for a few hours only, waking up early yet again as the bus rolled to a stop at a diner.
“Rise and shine, princess.” Hyunjin’s head popped up in front of you as he held onto your bed.
“Fuck off.” you grabbed your pillow and smacked him with it, almost making him fall down but he managed to land on his feet.
You heard a smack and Hyunjin saying ‘ow’ quietly before Aiden said,
“Come down if you’re hungry.”
You chuckled to yourself, waiting for them to leave so you could get ready.
Of course, as soon as you sat down in a booth, Hyunjin pushed Brendon aside and quickly slid next to you.
“Oh my god.” you rolled your eyes.
You were squished between him and Ana on your other side, and he was too close for comfort.
You could feel the heat of his body and smell the scent of his shampoo and body wash mixed with cigarettes.
You tried to ignore the feelings stirring in your gut as you ordered.
“So, how did you like sleeping on top of me?” Hyunjin smirked, tilting his head.
“Not as much as you liked sleeping under me, weirdo.” you scoffed at him and he chuckled.
“I liked it very much, so that must mean you liked it at least a little.” he said as the food arrived and your stomach growled.
“Whatever you say.” you brushed him off and started to dig in.
“We’re close to our first destination.” Anthony started after a sip of coffee. “We will arrive around 4pm and have lunch, then we get ready and do the soundcheck. Questions?”
Everyone shook their heads no.
You suddenly felt nervous tingles running up your spine, and for some reason Hyunjin felt it.
“Don’t worry princess, you’ll do great.” he smirked, placing his hand on top of your wrist.
You snatched your hand away and looked at him.
“I know I will, I was just wondering if you’ll be able to keep up with me.” you smirked back at him.
“You’ll be surprised at how well I can keep up, baby.” Hyunjin leaned into your personal space, his eyes boring into yours and you felt your cheeks burning.
“Be nice, you two.” Ana chuckled.
“What? I haven't called him an asshole yet. Emphasis on yet.”
Hyunjin laughed next to you, his arm brushing against yours.
Oh, he is so going to enjoy this.
-
It was such a good, familiar feeling to sit behind a drum kit after being the main vocalist and guitarist of your band for so long.
The venue was empty at this moment and the sound of the drums echoing in the space was grand.
You closed your eyes and started playing a groove to get into the mood and Hyunjin was lured towards the stage instantly.
He watched you in awe even though he saw you play the drums before, they never had the name of his band on the front of them.
Hyunjin felt proud; that his band has come so far and honored that you were now a part of their story.
He hoped you’d enjoy the tour and judging by the blissful look on your face, you were off to a good start.
“Let’s go, Hyun.” Brendon smacked his shoulder, pulling him back to reality.
It was time for the soundcheck, and when everyone was finally on stage, tuning their instruments, you realized that this is real.
Excitement replaced any nerves you had and you were ready to tear the stage apart.
“Let’s jam a little.” Aiden smiled as everyone agreed.
He started to play a melody on his bass so you followed him with the drums.
You were so focused on grooving that you didn’t notice Hyunjin winking at his two other band members.
When it was time for him to start playing his guitar, Hyunjin decided to play totally out of tune.
You looked up at him with your brows furrowed as you tried to follow him.
He changed it up suddenly, that familiar shit eating grin spreading on his face as you followed him yet again.
Brendon and Aiden stopped playing as they observed the two of you, battling it out with your instruments.
Hyunjin was trying hard to get on your nerves, push your buttons but you weren’t gonna let him in.
“Having some trouble following, princess?” he yelled over the noise.
You looked at him pointedly as he started to play another melody that made no sense and you’ve had enough.
Hyunjin had a way of getting under your skin and he obviously knew that.
Your arm lifted up on its own accord and you swung one of your drumsticks right at Hyunjin, aiming for his empty head.
His eyes widened and he managed to dodge it in a close second as the drumstick clattered on the floor.
“Ha! Attempted murder! Y’all saw that!” he pointed at you, while looking at his friends and you started laughing.
“Don’t worry, even if it did hit your head, it couldn’t damage it more than it already is.” you smirked as Hyunjin huffed.
“Oh baby, keep talking. Degradation is my thing.” he motioned towards his ear with his fingers and you made a disgusted face at him.
Of course, the asshole laughed at your expression.
“Guys, can we actually practice?” Brendon chimed in as Aiden nodded.
Instead of answering verbally, you started playing so everyone joined in.
-
“Are you nervous?” Aiden asked as the venue filled up and it all became real.
“Nope, I’m ecstatic!” you answered, twirling your drumstick in your hand.
“Trying to murder me once again?” Hyunjin appeared next to you as you almost hit him with it.
“Trust me, if I was trying to kill you, you’d already be dead.”
“Nobody’s killing anyone, we’re already short on staff.” Anthony smirked before putting his arms around Hyunjin and Brendon’s shoulders.
“Good luck guys! And y/n, of course. I know y’all will do great.” Anthony smiled.
Ana came up to you to hug you.
“Good luck, babe!” she smiled.
“Thank you.” you gave her a bone crushing hug, she was always like a sister to you and having her here now meant a lot to you.
As soon as you walked out on stage, the screams of all the people that came to see you perform were deafening but heartwarming.
Hyunjin was the main character on stage, that you were convinced of as whatever he did resulted in even louder screaming.
You didn’t mind being the backbone of the band, playing drums to you was a meditative and transcending experience and anything you were angry or upset about, you could take it out while playing.
Performing with Lycoris Radiata was fun as fuck, even more than you hoped for; seeing Hyunjin up close made you realize just why people loved him so much.
He was charismatic, cool and lame at the same time, ethereally beautiful and down to earth, fun but sensitive, alluring but cute, he gave his all and more.
He was everything wrapped up in one and you wondered how that was possible.
A particular moment struck you; when you were playing a slower song, Hyunjin sang so delicately, his back turned to you as the lights beamed down on his frame, his sweaty hair and skin making him look like he was glowing.
Your heart skipped a beat but you ignored it.
Near the end of the show, Hyunjin did his usual routine which consisted of making everyone’s panties wet; it was time for the sex song he always sang near the end which made you feel embarrassed and uncomfortable but something about being on stage with them got you in the right mood for it.
The part came up; and Hyunjin was on the floor, moaning and humping the air as you followed his moans with the heavy sound of your drums.
Hyunjin smirked, throwing his head back to look at you as he continued his ministrations and you continued following him on the drums.
Aiden and Brendon joined in as Hyunjin became louder, resulting in you hitting the drums harder as the sounds all came together in a crescendo.
You wished that you could press your thighs together to create pressure and friction because the whole thing managed to get you wet too.
A part of you felt ashamed but you didn’t give a flying fuck in that moment, completely letting go of everything as the four of you continued jamming together.
Hyunjin stood up with the biggest smile on his face, winking at you as he ran a lap around the stage before literally diving into the audience.
You gasped to yourself but continued playing the outro to the performance while Hyunjin was being groped by horny fanboys and fangirls.
Security was there to pull him back up on stage safely and Hyunjin sang the end of the song before screaming a ‘thank you’ into the mic.
After all four of you bowed a hundred times, you finally ran backstage where a very sweaty Hyunjin started hugging everyone, eventually coming up to you.
“Don’t even think about it.” you said as he opened his arms.
“Not thinking, just doing it.” he smirked and before you could run away, his arms wrapped around you and he pulled you into his body.
“Ew!” you squirmed against him and he chuckled.
“Don’t pretend you don’t like it.” he held you tighter and your heart leaped out of your chest.
The bastard smelled so good even after sweating so much and it annoyed you how seemingly perfect he was.
“What, a gross sweaty man slobbering all over me?” you scrunched up your face as you finally pushed him away.
“I wasn’t slobbering but if you’re into that-”
“Please shut up while I’m still in a good mood.” you stopped him and he laughed.
“It’s so fun messing with you, darling.” Hyunjin ruffled your hair as you practically hissed at him, making him laugh again.
“You guys were fucking amazing!” Anthony yelled excitedly.
“I don’t know about you but I need some food.” Aiden piped in.
“I’m feeling thirsty, honestly.” Brendon added.
“Are we partying or what?” Hyunjin smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Hell yeah, we are!” Anthony high-fived him.
You ended up having the afterparty in the bus, ordering some food and acquiring some beer as you sat around in the living space.
Of course, as soon as you walked in, you ran for the shower, with Hyunjin cascading behind you and asking if he could join you because “it’ll be done faster”.
“Dream about it, asshole!” you yelled before closing the bathroom door.
“Oh, I do.” Hyunjin smirked to himself, but you didn’t hear him.
The excitement of the performance slowly washed away from your body along with Hyunjin’s scent that lingered after he hugged you, and you felt happy and cozy.
All of you finally settled down to eat and Hyunjin claimed the spot next to you, of course, his long slender fingers stealing your fries constantly.
“Will you back off! You have your own fries.” you slapped his arm as he whined.
“Yours are tastier.” he claimed with that familiar smirk of his.
“Are they now?” you smirked back.
“Mhm.” he nodded pointedly.
“Let’s see then.” you grabbed your box and dumped all your fries into his box before mixing them up. “Pick one up and distinguish if it’s from your box or mine.”
Hyunjin stared at you with his lips parted before he smiled.
“Aw, we’re sharing.” he said and continued eating as you heard some chuckles around the table.
“For fucks sake.” you muttered, shaking your head.
The rest of the night was full of chatter and laughter, and you didn’t mind Hyunjin’s arm or leg brushing against you ever so often, or his loud laughter ringing in your ears or him constantly poking at you.
It’s barely been one day on tour and he wasn’t as unbearable as you thought he’d be.
Everyone was tired and you had to hit the road so it was finally peaceful, before a loud scream startled everyone.
“Oh no, I am going to die!” Hyunjin wailed dramatically.
“What’s wrong with him?” you rolled your eyes as Aiden came in.
“He lost his teddy bear.”
“He what?” you chuckled in disbelief.
“Hyunjin’s teddy, he always takes it with him. He’s had it since he was a baby and he’s convinced it brings him luck.” Aiden shrugged and Hyunjin ran into the living area.
“We are doomed!” he said, grabbing your arms and shaking you.
“Calm down, it must be around here somewhere.” you sighed.
“Help me look?” Hyunjin batted his eyelashes at you as Aiden slipped away.
“Hyunjin, I’m tired, I need to get some sleep.” you whined.
“Me too! But I can’t sleep without my teddy.” he said, you couldn’t believe he was serious. “I will crawl up to your bunk and annoy you all night if you don’t help me look.” he added, smirking.
“Fine, I’ll help you.” you rolled your eyes.
“Wow, you don’t want me in your bed at all?” he kept smirking.
“Zip it. Let’s find your precious teddy.”
“Yes!” Hyunjin scurried after you as the two of you basically did a search and rescue mission for his favorite plush.
Eventually, you walked into the other bathroom, finding the old teddy sitting on the counter.
“There you are.” you picked up, chuckling at the state of it.
You couldn’t help it as you sniffed the teddy and sure enough it smelled just like its owner.
“Found it!” you yelled and Hyunjin bursted in, panting and smiling.
“Oh my god!” he exclaimed, grabbing the teddy and then you as he enveloped you in a hug for the second time that night.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Hyunjin held you tightly and you chuckled.
“Alright, you’re thankful, I get it. You can let go now.” you said, patting his back.
“I owe you.” he muttered.
“I really didn’t do anything.”
“You did, trust me.” he smiled.
As you laid in your bunk bed that night, you couldn’t stop thinking about Hyunjin.
He seemed somehow different or you were just now seeing different sides of him that you didn’t see before.
You didn’t hate him completely.
-
Ten days on tour and things were going great.
Every show was better than the last one, every venue bigger than the last one, every note played made Lycoris Radiata mean more and more to you.
Tonight was no exception as you ripped the stage once again, this time Hyunjin ended up lifting Aiden and spinning him at the end which almost made the poor man throw up from excitement.
“This was Lycoris Radiata, see you next time!” and with that you ran backstage where Hyunjin had to hug everyone, even asking for a group hug.
You had to humor him.
When your head finally hit the pillow, you couldn’t sleep even though you were exhausted.
You kept replaying one particular moment from the show in your head.
It was while Hyunjin was singing his famous sex song, before the moaning part, he came up to you and sang while looking at you.
You kept playing and looking at him intently as he sang the lewd lyrics right into your face.
Before he took off, Hyunjin lifted his hand, making a V shape with his fingers, doing the licking motion between them, his tongue piercing shining in the big stage light.
Your mouth fell agape for a moment as you felt hotness spread all over your body and he smirked smugly when you made a tiny mistake in your playing.
People didn’t notice but he did.
And he was satisfied with it.
You couldn’t stop thinking about it, and it had been a while since you’ve had a little ‘you time’ but it was hard to do that with so many people in the bus.
Your eyes fluttered closed and you sighed, hearing some shuffling beneath you.
“Y/n?” Hyunjin suddenly climbed up into your bed, startling you as you sat up and turned on the little light inside.
“W-what are you doing?”
“I can’t sleep. And I figured you weren’t sleeping either.” Hyunjin whispered.
“And how did you figure that?” you clutched your blanket.
“You sighed like a hundred times.” he chuckled quietly.
“What do you want?” you rolled your eyes with a smile.
“To hang out.” he pulled out a deck of cards out of nowhere.
“We can’t make too much noise, we’ll wake everyone up.” you shook your head.
“Fine then we’ll do something quiet.” Hyunjin smirked, tossing the cards aside and laying down next to you, his eyes closing.
“Turn the light off, sweetheart.” he cracked one eye open as you stared at him in disbelief.
“You are not sleeping in my bunk. Go back downstairs.” you whispered.
“No.” he answered simply.
“Hyunjin, I’m warning you, I will push you down.”
“Will you? You’ll wake up the whole bus.” he smirked.
“God, you’re so annoying!” you whisper-yelled, giving up as you laid down, turning away from Hyunjin.
“Be nice and share your blanket.” Hyunjin’s breath hit the back of your neck, making you shiver as goosebumps rose on your skin.
“Need anything else?” you muttered as he hogged your blanket and your personal space.
“A goodnight kiss?” Hyunjin leaned over you, peering at your face hopefully.
You gave him the side eye and he chuckled.
“Maybe some other time, hm?” he asked.
“Go to sleep.” you said and he laid down behind you.
“Goodnight, darling.” Hyunjin wanted to reach out and touch your hair but he figured you’d probably break his arm.
You didn’t answer, your heart beating so hard that you were afraid it was shaking the bed and Hyunjin could feel it.
You quickly turned off the light and tried to calm down.
There was enough space to where he wasn’t touching you but you felt his warmth, his scent, his breath on your skin.
It was driving you crazy and making you feel calm at the same time.
You managed to fall asleep somehow.
-
At some point, in the middle of the night, Hyunjin and you gravitated closer to each other and you ended up in his arms.
When you slowly blinked your eyes open and realized you were staring straight at Hyunjin’s chest, you jolted away from him, making him groan quietly.
“Where you goin’?” he mumbled into your pillow, trying to grab you.
“As far as I can from you.” you said, wiggling out of his arm that eventually caught you as he groaned again.
“Something’s poking my ass.” Hyunjin gasped when he rolled over and you laughed.
“It’s the cards, you idiot.” rolling your eyes, you left the bunk feeling embarrassed and insane as your face heated up.
What are you doing, sleeping in the same bed as Hyunjin?
You hate him, right?
You weren’t so sure anymore.
Yes, he was annoying but somehow that became kind of endearing.
He has bugged you every single day since the tour started and if he suddenly stopped, it’d feel weird.
You sighed, shaking off your thoughts as you grabbed your phone, munching on your breakfast.
“Morning, y/n. Tell me am I crazy or did Hyunjin sleep over in your bunk?” Ana smirked at you as she brought two coffees.
“You are crazy. But yes, he slept in my bunk.” you said.
“Interesting.” she smirked, lifting one eyebrow up.
“Hey, I saw you sleeping in Anthony’s bunk multiple times. What’s that about?” you teased as you opened up your insta.
“Well, everyone knows we have a thing for each other. You and Hyunjin though… oh yeah, you have a thing too.”
“We don’t have a thing.” you quickly said as Ana chuckled.
“Right. Mhm.”
You continued scrolling, and that’s when you noticed it; the hate comments on your posts.
‘She’s just a slut who’s after Hyunjin’
‘She’s delusional if she thinks he’d like her like she’s ugly lmao’
‘Untalented bitch’
‘Get her away from my Hyunjin’
‘She deserved her band falling apart they were shit anyways’
‘Y/n should retire from the music scene’
Your eyes started stinging with tears as you skimmed through the comment section.
“What’s wrong?” Ana tilted her head to look at you.
You slid your phone to her and she gasped.
“You know these people are probably some jealous, unsuccessful suckers.” she said.
“I need some air.” you sucked in a breath before hurriedly leaving the bus.
“What’s with her?” Hyunjin walked in. “Is she mad at me?”
“No, look.” Ana showed him your phone.
Hyunjin frowned instantly, running out of the bus after you.
You stood not too far away with a cigarette in your hand as you hugged yourself with your other arm and Hyunjin’s eyes softened when he saw you shivering in the wind.
“I knew you’d forget to bring a jacket.” Hyunjin put his leather jacket around you, smoothing his hand over your back a few times.
You exhaled a puff of smoke, not answering him as you melted into his big jacket.
Hyunjin took out a cigarette for himself and you reached out with your lighter, lighting it up as he smirked.
“Since when do you smoke?” he asked.
“Well, I’m feeling extra stressed right now so I needed something to take the edge off.” you shrugged.
“Because of the comments?”
“I don’t wanna talk about them.”
“I’m sorry.” Hyunjin sighed.
“It’s not your fault.” you said.
“I feel like it is.”
Hyunjin was standing so close to you that his arm was touching yours while both of you continued smoking.
You stood silently next to each other for a few more moments as the clouds passed you by, and slowly but surely Hyunjin closed the gap between your hands as he touched yours briefly before he wrapped his pinky around yours.
“Hey, you know I’m honored you’re part of my band.” his tone was serious and you couldn’t bear to look at him or you’d burst into tears.
“I know.” you smiled as you kept looking into the distance.
He smiled too, his eyes focused on you.
Hyunjin had your back; and that was a pinky promise.
-
Finally, you arrived to your next destination, and you’d be there for a few days which meant you had to check into a hotel.
You were glad to have some time to yourself, you needed a real shower and a real bed and just some time to get away from everything, recharge your batteries.
You just finished with your shower and skincare when your phone annoyed you, buzzing with texts constantly.
When you grabbed it you realized that you forgot to change Hyunjin’s name from ‘asshole’.
You laughed to yourself, deciding to just add a little heart at the end.
asshole<3: y/n what are you doing
asshole<3: why aren’t you answering
asshole<3: i’m BOREEEED
asshole<3: y/n!!!!
asshole<3: princess?
asshole<3: i’m coming to your room
“Shit!” you exclaimed just in time when Hyunjin knocked on your door.
“Go away, Hyunjin!” you yelled on the other side.
“Never! I will wake the whole damn floor if you don’t open this door.” he banged against it.
“Spoiled brat.” you muttered to yourself before opening the door.
“Oh.” Hyunjin looked you up and down, your hair still wet from the shower, your little nightgown accentuating all your goodies.
“Did you dress up for me?” he smirked as his tongue darted out to play with his lip piercing; a habit you picked up on.
“Oh yeah, I was just waiting for you to come knocking on my door.” you answered sarcastically.
“Oh come on, I brought snacks.” he lifted up a few bags.
“You should’ve said that first.” you stepped aside, letting him in.
“So, are you here just because you’re bored?” you scoffed as he practically skipped to your bed before throwing himself on it.
“No, I’m here cause I know you miss me.” he smirked at you. “I spared you the walk to my room, princess.”
“Oh yeah, I am the one who missed you.” you said pointedly.
“I know you are.” he wiggled his eyebrows and you groaned, throwing a pillow at him but the slick bastard caught it.
“I’m gonna change into something else.” you said, feeling a bit self-conscious.
“Into what? After that outfit, the only logical thing is to have nothing on.”
“Wouldn’t you like that?” you snickered.
“I would.” he smirked.
“Changing right now!” you left for the bathroom to put on some actual pjs.
“Don’t cross this line, Hyunjin.” you pointed as the two of you settled in your bed, ready to watch a movie and snack.
He smiled his shit eating grin and put his finger over the line.
“Whoops, crossed it.”
“Next time you lose a finger.” you threatened.
“Where is it gonna be misplaced?” he smirked.
“Not where you think.”
“You don’t know what I’m thinking.” he leaned closer to you. “But I can show you.”
“No thanks. Just watch the movie.”
It was quiet for some time until Hyunjin spoke up.
“I’m thinking of getting another tattoo.”
“Oh?” you didn’t take your eyes off the screen. “Where?”
“My back. I wanna finish what I started with my arm and shoulder.” he answered.
“Which is?” you looked at him and he smirked.
“Glad you asked.” he said, taking his shirt off.
“Woah, woah, what are you doing?” you jolted as he tossed it aside.
“Showing you my tattoos.” he giggled. “See, it’s one big picture. I sketched the original on my paper, it’s a flower’s life story. From a little seed all the way to the dust it becomes after it wilts forever. It’s not finished yet though.” he turned and you gulped.
“That’s a beautiful thought actually.”
“Feel the flowers.” Hyunjin turned his shoulder to you.
“I’m not gonna touch your tattoos.” you said.
“Come on, you know you want to.” he taunted you.
“No, I don’t.” you shook your head.
“Yes, you do. You started ogling me as soon as I took my shirt off.”
“That’s because of your musc- nothing, nevermind.” you quickly caught yourself, biting your tongue as your face started burning.
“Because of what? My muscles? You like them?” he started flexing immediately.
“That’s disgusting, stop acting like that.” you slapped his arm without thinking and you both froze.
“Oh.” Hyunjin smirked before taking your hand in his. “Really, I want you to feel my tattoos.”
“Fine if it gets you to shut up.”
Your fingers gently traced the delicate art on Hyunjin’s skin, starting from his wrist up his arm as you watched goosebumps rise on his skin.
You took your time to trace every leaf and petal as Hyunjin looked at you intently, his breaths coming out shaky as you traced over his arm, your fingers swirling with the intricate patterns.
Your hand came up to his shoulder as you continued tracing, his skin was so smooth and he was so warm under your touch.
“Y/n.” Hyunjin whispered, his hand covering yours as he leaned in closer to you, his eyelids hooded.
Your eyes widened when you realized he was about to kiss you and you quickly moved away.
“What the hell are you doing?!” you stood up and Hyunjin frowned at you.
“What does it look like I’m doing?!”
“Trying to get into my pants!” you scoffed. “I think you should sleep in your room.”
“B-but, it’s not like that!” Hyunjin stood up and you backed away.
“I know what it’s like. Please leave.”
“Fine.” Hyunjin looked dejected as he grabbed his phone and shirt. “Teddy is lonely without me anyways.” he said, making a theatrical leave out of your room as he dragged his feet and kept giving you pointed looks.
You were almost close to telling him he can stay, but as soon as he leaned in, you panicked and didn’t know how to react so you kept your mouth shut.
And you continued spiralling when he left, thinking about if he actually likes you or just wants to fuck you like he does to any girl.
You’ve seen him with girls on his arms constantly and while you always thought what you felt was hate or disgust; in this moment you recognized it was jealousy and it didn’t feel good at all.
taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @porangporangmeong @laylasbunbunny @laughatdanger @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @painterhyunjin @starlost-mochi-x @saintcosette @ooshyana @frehyun @scarlet789 @skzdust @simpforleeknaur @schniti-is-in-the-house
part 2
#stray kids x reader#stray kids#stray kids smut#skz smut#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin smut#skz x reader#stray kids hyunjin#hyunjin scenarios#hyunjin imagines#hyunjin fluff#hyunjin x y/n#hyunjin x you#hwang hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin smut#hwang hyunjin fluff#hyunjin skz#skz imagines#skz scenarios#skz fluff#hyunjin stray kids
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"To change for you..."
⋆°• ☁︎ - Things the Blue Lock boys do after picking it up from you Feat. Michael Kaiser, Isagi Yoichi, Nagi Seishiro, Shidou Ryusei, and Rin Itoshi
AN: I have the freaking cutest idea for a Wakasuki fanfic but nobody knows him and it's so sad...
Michael Kaiser ⋆°• ☁︎ - Listening to certain songs that he knows you like when he’s traveling
He never realized that he would have missed you this much when he was traveling. For the few months that he was still back in Germany with you, the thoughts of traveling had crossed his mind many times, and with a scoff and the thoughts that he used to do it alone all the time pushed the ideas to the back of his brain, well until now; Now when he was sitting on the Bastard München bus on the way to the PXG stadium for their next match, the long, almost 14-hour, bus ride they had, and every second since he had been on that bus, he missed you. Not that he would ever admit that to anybody, including you. So what better way than to either A. attempt to text you, But that sounded desperate, or B. do something that reminded him of you. And with his limited options, he scrolled his phone to find something that could bring him back to the thought of you, even if you weren’t there with him. To which that’s when he found it. A couple of weeks ago you had stolen his phone, saying that you were just looking at the weather, but rather, you knew he had a Spotify account and only listened to the songs he wanted to, so you put together a playlist for him of some songs you think he should listen to, including some of your favorites. He couldn’t help but give a little smile when he saw the playlist cover being a picture of the two of you at one of his previous games, and within no time he pressed the play button and started to listen through the songs, thoughts of you running through his head matching up with every song lyric.
Isagi Yoichi ⋆°• ☁︎ - Using more creative insults on the field after you used them against him
It all started a couple weeks after you had started dating and you got into a little spat about where to go for dinner, him trying to be nice and let you decide and you being indecisive and pushing it back on him. All going relatively nicely until you turned around and said:
“You decide, you wet noodle! I can’t pick.”
And he stood there for a second, a little surprised. A wet noodle? That wasn’t something you heard every day. So he let out a slight chuckled and picked a place he knew you would like and the two of you went there for dinner that night. The same thing with a couple other insults had happened a few times, being called a multitude of other things, and even hearing you’d snide comments sometimes about how you hoped that a person that cut you off in traffic ‘stepped into a puddle with only socks on.’
Now with these thoughts inside his head, and Barou running his mouth he could only turn towards him and give a dirty glare before pulling this out of his pocket:
“I hope you’re sleeves slide down while you’re washing your hands.”
Before turning back around and heading anywhere else in the building where he wasn’t. To which the rest of the people standing there could only look surprised, the same guy who called Barou much worse, just wished a minor inconvenience on him? What was happening?
Nagi Seishiro ⋆°• ☁︎ - Showing a little more effort rather than just in scoring goals
Reo could only look confused at the white-haired man as he was actually trying on some of the new training regiments given to them by Chris Prince. Even when he looked over to the coach, he looked a little shocked. It wasn’t that Nagi didn’t try, it’s that he had never tried this hard before. He did everything just enough for it to be acceptable and then move on with his life, well that was until he saw how hard you worked for things. He never understood why people worked hard until you had come home with a good grade on your test, the same test he had watched you work for hours and hours trying to study the material and cram into your head before you had to take it. The way that you smiled and were so excited that the work you did paid off gave him this spark of inspiration that he needed to see what it was like to train hard and then have that achievement pay off in the end. So when he went back to practice, he tried harder than he ever did before, even earning a couple comments asking if he was okay, or if he was dying and trying a little harder was his dying wish. All of which he responded a simple ‘no’ to before walking off to get water or work on something else. The only person who could actually figure out the truth was Reo, who had asked him if it had something to do with you. He just shrugged and nodded.
“They came home all happy one time because they studied hard and got a good grade and I wanted to know what that felt like… They clung onto me for a whole 15 minutes after… and I liked it so maybe If I do good I can do that to them..”
Reo could only laugh a little as he watched Nagi walk away. He would definitely have to send you a thank you card, Chris Prince’s signature in there as well as he had tried to ask Nagi the same question and it totally backfired.
Shidou Ryusei ⋆°• ☁︎ - Trying to settle arguments with words instead of his foot
The famous fighter, Shidou Ryusei, was actually trying to have a conversation. Nobody ever thought there would be a day. Well, except for one person, you. The same person who had told him off a multitude of times that he can’t just hurt people whenever he was pissed off at them, and there were much better ways to go about it. Even after days of him trying to get you to see his side of it, and you already, after hearing his explanation a few weeks ago, deeming it not the best way to settle things. So here he was now, putting his ego aside to make sure that Loki or Ego didn’t have to call you for the 4th time this week to try to get him to behave and attempt to try to not kick Rin square in the face after he stole a goal from him. Even Loki was surprised when Shidou was about to raise his foot, just to stop himself, mutter something, and then turn to Rin, attempting to try and talk it out. The first thought in everybody's mind, was this even Shidou? After Rin had walked away from him Loki came jogging over to him and trying to make sure he was okay.
“Ya’ I’m fine, jus’ the pretty thing back home ya’ always have to call told me to get my shit together, so I’m tryin’ talk it out with lower lashes.”
Loki looked surprised, I mean he knew from talking to you before that you were close with Shidou, but little did he know that you basically had the man wrapped around you’re finger. They’ve been trying to get him to talk something out for the entire time he was in Blue Lock, but he leaves for a few days and comes back a whole new person? The staff would be sending you thank you cards, as well as a small gift instead of having to pay the hospital bills from anybody else Shidou would’ve sent.
Rin Itoshi ⋆°• ☁︎ - Trying to be a little nicer to others
The world must have stopped turning and we were all gonna die. That was the only thing Isagi could think after he heard Rin actually complimenting somebody. Was it a backhanded compliment? Absolutely, but did he still say something nice to Nanase, yes. Isagi could only stare in shock as he walked over to him next, ready to be degraded or ignored for anything he did, until Rin stopped, cursing under his breath.
“You’re a shitty person, but at least you can score a decent goal..”
The world stopped, he was sure of it. There was no way the Rin Itoshi, had just come up to him and told him he could score a decent goal. So when he stood there a little confused Rin couldn’t help but curse a little more.
“This isn’t because I like you. It’s because I like my partner. Got it?”
And with that he headed off again, going who knows where.
Thought he didn’t learn the fully story until much later on when Shidou had been talking about it Charles and he had overheard. Apparently, Rin’s partner had been pretty upset when they realized that he was pretty mean overall, and wanted him to at least attempt being nicer, so the next time he saw somebody he knew he at least tried to give them a compliment, just attempting to make his partner a little less upset with him.
Isagi knew that it was just a little thing, but lord, he was sure that if Rin would go around complimenting other people, if you asked for the world to burn, he would set it on fire just so you wouldn’t be upset.
#blue lock x reader#blue lock#bllk#bllk x reader#michael kaiser#michael kaiser x reader#kaiser x reader#isagi yoichi x reader#isagi yoichi#isagi x reader#nagi seishiro x reader#nagi seishiro#nagi x reader#shidou ryusei x reader#shidou ryusei#shidou x reader#rin itoshi x reader#rin itoshi#rin x reader#xo-adelinewrites
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Could you make a crybaby reader with JJK men? Like just an overly sensitive/nice reader? It’s okay if not! Have a good day!
Sensitive!
Characters: Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Toji, Sukuna, Megumi, Yuji
Gojo Satoru
Gojo Satoru never meant to upset you—he rarely ever did. But today, his usual playful teasing hit you harder than usual.
You were sitting on the couch together, scrolling through your phone while he flipped lazily through the channels on the TV. Out of nowhere, Gojo chuckled and said, “You know, you’re so dramatic sometimes. It’s kinda cute, but it’s like everything’s the end of the world for you.”
You froze, his words hitting a nerve. Dramatic. That’s how people had dismissed your feelings for years. You tried to brush it off, but your chest tightened, and your vision blurred slightly as you blinked back tears.
Gojo didn’t notice at first, still flipping channels and humming to himself. But when you didn’t respond with your usual witty comeback, he glanced over and saw your downturned face.
“Wait,” he said, sitting up immediately. “Did I say something wrong?”
You didn’t answer right away, biting your lip to keep your emotions in check.
“Hey,” he said more gently now, setting the remote down. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”
Finally, you looked at him, your voice quiet. “You called me dramatic. Do you know how many times I’ve heard that? It’s like every time I feel something, people just… dismiss me.”
Gojo’s eyes widened as realization dawned on him. “Oh no. No, no, no, that’s not what I meant,” he said, scooting closer to you on the couch. “I wasn’t trying to dismiss you. I swear, I just—ugh, sometimes I don’t think before I speak.”
You didn’t reply, still feeling the sting of his words.
Gojo reached for your hands, holding them in his warm, large ones. “I’m really sorry,” he said softly. “You’re not dramatic. You just feel things deeply, and I love that about you. It’s one of my favorite things about you, actually. You care so much, and that’s rare. Honestly, I wish I was more like you sometimes.”
You glanced at him, surprised by the sincerity in his voice.
“I mean it,” he continued. “I’m sorry I made you feel like that wasn’t a good thing. It is. You’re amazing, and I’m lucky you put up with my dumb jokes.”
A small smile tugged at your lips, despite your lingering hurt. “You really think that?”
Gojo grinned, his usual playful energy returning as he kissed your knuckles. “I think you’re perfect. And I’m perfectly terrible at saying things the right way. Forgive me?”
You sighed, the weight in your chest easing. “Okay. But maybe think before you speak next time?”
“Deal,” he said, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. “I’ll even let you pick the movie tonight as a peace offering. But only if it’s not boring.”
You laughed softly, and just like that, Gojo had you smiling again, his arms wrapping around you to hold you close.
Geto Suguru
It was late in the evening, and you and Geto Suguru were sitting together in a cozy café. He had insisted on taking you out to unwind after a long week, and for a while, the warm atmosphere and his gentle company had done just that. But then, the conversation took an unexpected turn.
You were talking about a project you’d been working on—how much effort you’d put into it and how nervous you were about how it would turn out. Somewhere in the middle of your rambling, Geto chuckled softly and said, “You really overthink things sometimes, don’t you?”
His tone was light, and you knew he didn’t mean it maliciously, but the comment stopped you in your tracks. Your heart sank, and your chest tightened as those familiar insecurities reared their heads. You looked down at your tea, your appetite for conversation disappearing.
Geto immediately noticed the shift in your mood. He tilted his head, his dark eyes softening with concern. “What’s wrong?” he asked gently, leaning closer.
You shook your head. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s clearly not nothing,” he said, his voice calm but insistent. “Did I say something wrong?”
You hesitated, but his steady gaze encouraged you to speak. “It’s just… when you said I overthink things. I know I do, okay? I hear it all the time, and I hate that about myself. It feels like no matter how hard I try, it’s never enough, and people just see me as… too much.”
Geto’s expression shifted immediately, a flicker of regret crossing his face. “Hey, no, that’s not what I meant at all,” he said softly, his voice full of sincerity.
You looked away, but he gently reached across the table, his hand brushing against yours. “Listen to me,” he said, his tone warm and steady. “I wasn’t trying to say that in a bad way. I know you overthink because you care. You care so much about everything, and that’s not a flaw—it’s a strength.”
You blinked at him, his words catching you off guard.
“You put your whole heart into what you do, and yeah, sometimes it makes you nervous or unsure, but that’s only because you want things to be perfect,” he continued. “And honestly? That’s one of the things I admire most about you. I could never think of that as a bad thing.”
The tightness in your chest began to ease as his words sank in. “You really mean that?” you asked softly.
Geto smiled gently, his thumb brushing over the back of your hand. “Of course I do. And I’m sorry if what I said made you feel like I didn’t. I’ll be more careful with my words next time.”
You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Thank you.”
He chuckled softly. “You don’t have to thank me. It’s my job to remind you how amazing you are when you forget.”
Your cheeks warmed at his words, and the tension that had settled between you melted away.
“Now,” he said, his tone lightening as he leaned back in his chair, “how about I make it up to you with dessert? I hear they’ve got a mean matcha cheesecake here.”
You laughed quietly, shaking your head. “Fine, but you’re paying.”
“Always,” he said with a playful smirk, raising his hand to call for the waiter.
Nanami Kento
Nanami Kento had had an exhausting day. Every step he took up the stairs to your shared apartment felt heavier than the last, and all he wanted was to come home, see you, and let the warmth of your presence melt away the stress.
When he opened the door, you greeted him with your usual enthusiasm, rushing over to pull him into a tight hug. “Kento! You’re home!” you exclaimed, your excitement practically radiating off you.
He managed a small smile and placed a hand on your back, but the weight of his day still hung over him. “Hi,” he said softly, his voice tired.
You didn’t seem to notice his exhaustion as you began talking a mile a minute. “I missed you! You won’t believe the day I had—oh, and guess what? I tried that recipe you love, and I think it turned out amazing! Oh, and Louis did the funniest thing today—”
“Can you give me a second?” he snapped, his voice sharper than he intended.
The room fell silent, and the warmth in your expression dimmed instantly. You stepped back, your arms falling to your sides. “Oh,” you said softly. “Sorry.”
Nanami immediately felt a pang of regret as he saw the hurt in your eyes. You weren’t upset because he was tired—you were upset because he’d made you feel like your excitement didn’t matter to him.
You turned away, mumbling something about letting him settle in, but he quickly reached out and gently grabbed your hand. “Wait,” he said, his voice softer now.
You hesitated, looking at him but avoiding his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely, his grip on your hand firm but gentle. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you. It’s not your fault I had a hard day. I… I was looking forward to seeing you all day, and then I let my frustration get in the way.”
You blinked, your lips trembling slightly. “I just wanted to make you happy,” you admitted quietly.
“And you do,” he said immediately, stepping closer to you. “You’re the best part of my day. Always.”
Your eyes met his then, searching his face for the truth in his words. His expression was soft, full of remorse and affection.
“I don’t deserve to have you greet me with so much love after the way I acted,” he said, gently pulling you into his arms. “But I promise I’ll do better. You’re everything to me, and I should have treated you like it.”
You rested your forehead against his chest, feeling his arms tighten around you. “I just got too excited,” you murmured.
“And I love that about you,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Your excitement, your energy—it’s what makes this place feel like home. I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate it like I should’ve.”
For a moment, you stood there in his embrace, his warmth and steady heartbeat easing the lingering hurt.
“Do you want to sit down and tell me about your day?” he asked after a moment, pulling back slightly to look at you. “I want to hear everything.”
You hesitated, then nodded, a small smile creeping onto your face. “Okay. But only if you let me heat up dinner for you first.”
He chuckled softly. “Deal. But don’t rush—just being here with you is enough.”
And as you led him to the table, the weight of his day began to lift, replaced by the comfort of knowing he was home—with you.
Toji fushiguro
Toji Fushiguro wasn’t the type to watch his words. His bluntness was just part of who he was—sharp, quick, and sometimes careless. Most of the time, you brushed it off, knowing he didn’t mean to hurt you. But tonight, it cut deeper than usual.
The two of you were in the kitchen after dinner. You were putting away dishes, humming softly, while Toji leaned against the counter with his arms crossed, watching you.
“I’ve been thinking about trying something new,” you said, your tone excited. “Like a cooking class or maybe painting—something creative. I think it could be fun.”
Toji grunted in response, not looking up from the dish he was drying.
You hesitated but kept going, trying to draw him into the conversation. “What do you think? Would you want to try something like that with me?”
Toji sighed and set the dish down a little too hard, the sound making you flinch. “You don’t stick with stuff like that, do you?” he said, his voice flat. “You get all excited and then drop it a week later. What’s the point?”
You froze, his words hitting harder than you expected. You knew he had a point—sometimes you did lose interest in things quickly. But hearing him say it so bluntly, so dismissively, made your chest tighten.
“I…” Your voice wavered as you set the plate in your hands on the counter. “I just thought it’d be nice to do something together.”
Toji finally looked up, his brows furrowing when he saw the way your shoulders slumped. “Hey, don’t get all upset about it,” he said, his tone softening, but it didn’t help.
“I’m not upset,” you said quickly, though the slight tremble in your voice betrayed you. “I just… never mind.”
You turned away, trying to hide the tears that were already welling up, but Toji wasn’t one to let things go.
“Hey,” he said, his voice quieter now as he stepped closer. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing,” you mumbled, but when you tried to brush past him, he caught your wrist gently.
“Look at me,” he said firmly, his tone still low but insistent. You hesitated, and when you finally met his gaze, he could see the hurt in your eyes.
“Damn it,” he muttered, his grip on your wrist loosening. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“You didn’t have to say it at all,” you whispered. “You make me feel like I’m… not good at anything.”
Toji’s jaw tightened, guilt flashing across his face. He wasn’t good at this—at saying the right things or fixing mistakes—but he hated seeing you like this, especially when he was the one who caused it.
“You’re good at plenty of things,” he said, his tone softer now. “And… I’m an idiot for saying that to you. I wasn’t trying to put you down. I just… I don’t know how to say things without sounding like a jerk sometimes.”
You glanced at him, surprised by the vulnerability in his voice.
“I think it’s a great idea,” he admitted after a moment, rubbing the back of his neck. “The cooking class or whatever. And I’d do it with you if that’s what you want.”
“You don’t have to just say that,” you murmured.
“I’m not just saying it,” he said, stepping closer until he could wrap his arms around you. “You’re trying to do something fun, and instead of supporting you, I ran my mouth like an idiot. I’m sorry.”
His arms around you were warm and steady, and you could feel the sincerity in the way he held you.
“You’d really go with me?” you asked, your voice still small.
“Yeah,” he said, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Even if I suck at it, I’d go. For you.”
Your lips quirked up into a small smile, the sting of his earlier words starting to fade. “Okay,” you said softly, leaning into his chest.
Toji smirked, holding you a little tighter. “Good. But don’t expect me to wear an apron or anything. That’s where I draw the line.”
You laughed, the sound lightening the room, and he sighed in relief, grateful to see your smile again.
Sukuna Ryomen
The Heian era was a time of beauty and chaos, and life with Sukuna Ryomen was no exception. Known as the King of Curses, Sukuna was feared across the land, but to you, he was something else entirely. His presence, though intimidating, had always been a source of strange comfort. However, his sharp tongue often betrayed him, and tonight was one of those nights.
You had spent the entire day crafting something special—a delicate embroidered cloth featuring patterns of crimson and gold, colors you knew he favored. Each stitch was precise, your fingers aching by the time you finished, but the thought of presenting it to Sukuna filled you with anticipation.
When you brought the finished piece to him that evening, you entered his chambers with cautious excitement, kneeling before him as he sat on his throne-like dais. “My lord,” you began softly, holding out the cloth, “I made this for you. I thought you might like it.”
Sukuna’s four crimson eyes flicked to the offering, and for a brief moment, there was silence. Then he spoke, his tone as sharp as ever.
“You spent all day on this?” he said, his voice laced with disdain. “What use do I have for something so… trivial?”
The words hit you harder than you anticipated. You had poured your heart into the gift, hoping to please him, and now your efforts felt meaningless. You lowered your hands, clutching the cloth tightly as your vision blurred with tears you desperately tried to hold back.
“I… I just wanted to give you something,” you murmured, your voice trembling.
Sukuna’s brows furrowed at the shift in your tone. He could sense your emotions as clearly as the tension in the air, and the sight of you so visibly upset stirred something in him—something he wasn’t used to feeling.
“Tch,” he muttered, leaning forward slightly, his gaze fixed on you. “Why are you crying? I didn’t tell you to do something like this.”
You shook your head, your voice breaking. “I know. I just… I thought it would make you happy.”
Sukuna let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. He wasn’t good at this—at softening his edges. But seeing you like this unsettled him in a way that battles and curses never could
“Look at me,” he commanded, his tone firm but quieter now.
Reluctantly, you raised your eyes to meet his. His gaze wasn’t as harsh as before, and for a moment, the room felt less heavy.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, his voice low but sincere. “I’m not good with… things like this.” He gestured vaguely at the cloth in your hands. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate it.”
Your breath hitched slightly. “You… you do?”
“Yes,” he said, almost impatiently, but his tone lacked its usual edge. “I’m just not someone who knows how to handle… thoughtful gestures. But that doesn’t mean they’re wasted on me.”
You blinked, the sting of his earlier words starting to fade. “I just wanted to give you something that reminded you of… us. Of me.”
Sukuna’s lips quirked into the faintest smirk. “And you think I could forget you?”
Your cheeks warmed at his words, and he chuckled lowly, clearly pleased with your reaction. He reached out, taking the cloth from your hands, his fingers brushing yours briefly.
“It’s well-made,” he admitted, running his thumb over the intricate stitching. “Better than I expected.”
A small smile tugged at your lips, and Sukuna leaned back, his gaze softening just slightly. “Next time, don’t exhaust yourself for my sake,” he said. “You don’t need to prove anything to me.”
“I just wanted to make you happy,” you said softly, your earlier sadness melting away.
“You do,” he replied, his voice quiet but steady. “Even without this.”
The warmth in his words made your heart ache in the best way, and as he set the cloth aside carefully, you knew that, in his own way, Sukuna was trying.
Megumi Fushiguro
Megumi Fushiguro was in a foul mood. Gojo had been pestering him all day—constant teasing, unnecessary tasks, and endless comments that pushed his patience to the brink. By the time he walked through the door, his mind was racing, and he felt like he was ready to snap at anything that moved.
You had been waiting for him to come home, your excitement bubbling as you thought about sharing the small surprise you’d planned for him: his favorite snacks arranged neatly on the coffee table and a cozy spot on the couch waiting for him to relax.
When he walked in, you greeted him with a bright smile. “Megumi! Welcome home! I set up—”
“Can you just give me a second?” he snapped, not even looking up as he kicked off his shoes and dropped his bag with more force than necessary.
You froze, startled by the sharpness of his tone. “Oh… I didn’t mean to bother you,” you said softly, your voice already trembling slightly.
Megumi sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not about you, okay? I just need some space.”
Your chest tightened at his words. He didn’t even glance at the effort you’d put into making his evening better. The snacks, the cozy setup—it all felt meaningless now. “I just wanted to help,” you whispered, your voice barely audible as you turned away, your shoulders slumping.
The sound of your soft, hurt tone stopped Megumi in his tracks. He looked up and finally noticed the care you’d put into the room—the snacks, the cozy setting, and the clear effort to make him feel better. Guilt hit him like a wave.
“Wait,” he said, his voice gentler now as he stepped closer to you. “I… I’m sorry.”
You didn’t turn to face him, your hands nervously fiddling with your sleeves. “It’s fine,” you said, though the crack in your voice betrayed your true feelings.
“It’s not fine,” Megumi said, his tone firm but remorseful. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you. You didn’t deserve that.”
You glanced back at him, your eyes glistening. “I was just trying to make you feel better,” you murmured, “but if you don’t want me here, I can—”
“No,” he cut in quickly, shaking his head. “I don’t want you to leave. Please.”
He hesitated for a moment, searching for the right words. “It’s been a rough day, and I let my frustration get the better of me. But I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. You were trying to do something nice for me, and I acted like an idiot.”
You stared at him for a moment, his rare vulnerability catching you off guard. “You mean that?”
“I do,” he said, stepping closer and gently taking your hand. “I see what you did here. It’s thoughtful, and it means a lot to me. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.”
Your lips trembled as a small smile broke through. “I just wanted you to relax after your day.”
“And I’m lucky to have you,” he said, squeezing your hand gently. “Let me make it up to you.”
You hesitated before nodding, letting him guide you to the couch. As the two of you sat together, Megumi reached for one of the snacks you’d prepared, a small but genuine smile tugging at his lips.
“Thank you,” he said softly, glancing at you.
“For what?” you asked, tilting your head.
“For being patient with me,” he said. “And for always knowing how to make things better—even when I don’t deserve it.”
Your heart swelled at his words, and you leaned against him, letting the tension of the evening fade away. Megumi might not always get it right, but moments like this reminded you why you loved him so much.
Yuji Itadori
Yuji Itadori wasn’t the type to snap at people—he was always upbeat, kind, and quick to laugh things off. But after a long day of missions, training, and dealing with the stress of being Sukuna’s vessel, he’d finally managed to steal a rare moment of relaxation, engrossed in a video game he’d been trying to beat for weeks.
You, excited to share some news with him, entered the room without realizing how deeply focused he was. “Yuji! Guess what happened today?” you said cheerfully, walking over to him.
“Not now,” he muttered, his eyes glued to the screen, fingers flying across the controller.
You hesitated, unsure if he’d heard you properly. “It’ll only take a second! You won’t believe—”
“I said not now!” he snapped, his tone sharper than you’d ever heard before.
The sudden harshness of his voice made you stop in your tracks. Your excitement vanished, replaced with a sinking feeling in your chest. You stood there for a moment, unsure of what to say, before mumbling, “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to bother you.”
Your voice was so soft, Yuji almost didn’t catch it. But when he heard the hurt in your tone and turned to see the way your expression had fallen, his stomach twisted with guilt.
“Wait, no, I didn’t mean—” he started, but you were already backing away. “I’ll just… leave you alone,” you said quietly, heading toward the door.
Yuji quickly paused the game and jumped to his feet. “Wait! Don’t go!”
You stopped but didn’t turn around, your arms crossed tightly as if trying to protect yourself from the sting of his words.
Yuji rubbed the back of his neck, his face filled with regret. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice softer now. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. That was really uncool of me.”
You glanced over your shoulder, your eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “I just wanted to tell you something. I didn’t think it would make you so mad…”
“I wasn’t mad at you,” he said quickly, stepping closer. “I was just so caught up in the game, and I got frustrated. But that’s not an excuse. You didn’t deserve that.”
You bit your lip, unsure if you should say anything, and Yuji reached out, gently touching your arm. “Hey,” he said, his voice warm and sincere. “I’m really, really sorry. You’re way more important to me than some stupid game.”
His words made your heart ache in the best way, and you finally turned to face him fully. “You mean that?”
“Of course I do,” he said, giving you that familiar, boyish grin that made it hard to stay upset. “Tell me what happened today. I want to hear everything.”
“You’re sure? I don’t want to interrupt…” you trailed off.
Yuji shook his head quickly. “Forget the game. I want to spend time with you.”
The sincerity in his voice melted away the last of your hurt, and you let yourself smile again. As you started sharing your story, Yuji sat beside you, listening intently, determined to make up for his mistake.
And when you laughed at one of his playful comments, Yuji silently promised himself to never let a moment like that happen again. You were his safe place, his reason to smile, and no game—or anything else—could ever compare.
#fanfic#jjk requests#jujutsu kaisen#requests are open#sfw#fluffy#jjk fluff#jjk x reader#jjk x you#satoru gojo x reader#suguru geto x reader#nanami x reader#toji x reader#sukuna x reader#megumi x reader#yuji itadori x reader#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#getou suguru x reader#geto x reader#suguru x reader#nanami x you#nanami fluff#sukuna#toji x you#toji fluff#megumi fluff#megumi x you#yuji x reader
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'FOGGY STREETS AND CHRISTMAS LIGHTS'
(part 3/3)
I'm gonna infodump about the backstory of this comic, don't feel obligated to read it because it's not cotl related it's just personal stuff, I just want to be able to write about it somewhere cause I can't really talk to anyone about it.
As always, thanks for reading this far, sorry my stuff has been such a bummer so consistently. This comic goes out to all my "christmas induced depression" homies, I left my house maybe like ~5 times all month and it was NOT pleasant hearing "IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!!" on the radio when I'm so ready for it to be over. Gonna take it reaaaaal easy til the year ends, you guys take it easy too!! Got some asks I have to respond to when I'm more stable but probably no new comic pages til january
Alright uhhh so this part of the comic is pretty much taken directly from the last time I saw my great-grandma alive, a few days before christmas. She didn't remember me, but at the nursing home there was a piano, and I sat down and played some stuff because I didn't know what to say. I was really into lisa the painful rpg at the time, and I played that "I've got the joy" song that the villain sings without realizing it was an old christian campfire song. She didn't really say much or move that whole night, just kind of gave me a polite blank smile, but started singing the words when I played the notes to that song.
I kinda stopped in shock, my dad frantically asked me to keep playing, so I did. While the comic I made is way more sappy than the actual moment was, I wish I'd cherished the moment longer. I didn't know it was the last time I'd see her alive. Every family christmas was held at her house when she was around, so it's been weird the past few years. I actually lost another dementia-addled grandma to cancer on christmas eve in 2009, so the holiday was already kind of weird for me on top of everything else that makes me sad this time of year. That's what part 2 was about, I'll spare the details but I wrote leshy to act out how I felt back then. Why are we all sad? This is supposed to be a happy time, all the decorations are up and we're almost all here, so why is everyone smiling yet everything feels so wrong? I feel like since leshy's canonically the most ignorant one to things lurking below the surface, he'd be the one to try and make everyone feel better but not quite understand why everyone is so miserable. My first memory of having self injurious behavior came from then, hence why I had leshy pull his leaves off in the last comic. It was confusing and frustrating and I was just old enough to comprehend something was wrong, but not old enough to understand the depth of it, it DEFINITELY didn't help that nobody helped me back then so I made leshy's siblings actually come in clutch instead of grabbing him/yelling at him.
That night with the piano was something that's stuck with me the few years she's been gone, but I felt kind of strange when I asked my dad and my sister about it and neither of them remembered it. The room we were in was completely empty so nobody else witnessed it but us three. I myself have a history of head trauma and memory loss (plus, native americans are disproportionately more likely to develop dementia... lucky us) so if I ever forgot about that moment, there'd be nobody left to remember it. Sometimes when I do comics, it's my way of going "this happened at some point, and the only evidence it ever happened was me witnessing it, so if something happens to me I want the memory to stay alive in some form."
Anyway. The autistic urge to overshare, am I right? Idk what my religious ass great-grandma would think of me drawing demonic comics about my last memory of her, she'd probably think it's funny though cause she raised my dad whose interests have always been "death metal and devil worship". I'm not sure if anyone read this far, I just hope my dumb comics can convey the things I can't say with my voice and struggle to say through text. None of this was supposed to be "feel bad for me!! Woe is me!!", it was supposed to me more like...cathartic? Healing? I almost didn't post this comic because it felt kinda weird, but seeing people connect with it made it worth it imo. Thank you
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Castles in the Fade, or What Was the Point of the Veil Anyway
Something that will now haunt me until the end of time is why was the concept of the Veil ever introduced into this series.
We’ve been hearing about it since the very first game. There’s a codex entry about tears in the Veil in Origins. Tamlen mentions a thin spot in the Veil if you play a Dalish elf. Sandal has a prophecy in Dragon Age 2: “One day the magic will come back—all of it. Everyone will be just like they were. The shadows will part and the skies will open wide. When he rises, everyone will see.” Admittedly, this is just one line said by a character who often says odd things, but it hinted to the fact they were planning to do something with the Veil from the very beginning. The state of the Veil is repeatedly brought up. It all had to mean something! Or so I thought.
When I saw “The Dread Wolf Rises” quest in Veilguard, I said, “Oh, here we go!” The Veil is coming down, magic is coming back, and it’s going to set up such an interesting story for the next game.
Alas, no.
I hadn’t really enjoyed my time playing Veilguard up until this point. It felt like the game was ducking and dodging every bit of world building and lore that could possibly bring nuance or complexity to the story. Every returning character or faction was a cardboard cutout of themself. They shoved Solas is a time-out box and gave him nothing to do. They refused to let him have any impact or influence on the story when he had been set up to be our main antagonist back in Trespasser. This game used to be called Dreadwolf! And while we learn about his past… we never talk to him about it. In the present, he’s in stasis.
Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain are our villains. And they are your typical evil for evil’s sake villains. They are mad, bad, and only as dangerous as the narrative will allow as to not give Rook and co too much trouble. They are surprisingly patient while Rook fixes all their companions’ problems… until Elgar’nan moves the moon to cause an eclipse. A vital component in making his own lyrium dagger. For some reason. This guy can move a satellite!? And he just let Rook walk away in previous encounters… twice. Ok. Sure.
The Evil Duo need their own dagger ostensibly to tear down the Veil, because they want to unleash the full force of the Blight onto the world. Because they are evil. And they were thwarted last time they tried to Blight the entire world. Why do they think Blighting the world is a good idea? What’s the point of ruling a world if everyone is dead? I guess they haven’t thought that through, because of the madness and the evilness.
Ok, I thought. Perhaps the gods will be the one to tear down the Veil. Or maybe we’ll have a choice to let Solas do it his way before they can, which will be less chaotic and less full of Blight. Because the Veil has to be coming down one way or another? Why introduce the concept of the Veil, especially a Veil that has been thinning and failing since the series began, if it’s just going to… stay.
There is a principle in storytelling called Chekov’s gun. If something is mentioned in a story, it must have a purpose. If you keeping mentioning that gun hanging on the wall over the fireplace, it’s because at some point in the story, someone is going to take it down and use it. The Veil felt like Chekov’s gun to me. Chekov’s Veil, if you will. It’s been here from the beginning of our tale, the spectre hanging over our protagonists’ heads for multiple games.
The Veil has been a character unto itself. It was the central focus of the third game, and its dissolution was set up to be the core conflict of the fourth game. We learn everything we thought we knew about the Veil was a lie. It was not created by the Maker to separate the Fade from this world because of jealous spirits, it was created by a guy named Solas to trap the elven gods and the Blight from destroying the world. Also, the elven gods were never gods, and they are also evil.
This reveal will surely throw the Andrastian religion into chaos! This puts the very existence of the Maker into question! The Evanuris are a lie; it’s only fair Catholicism—oh, I mean—the Chantry is a lie too. We briefly touch on that in Veilguard… then it is quietly discarded. Religious crisis averted.
But I digress.
When the title of the fourth game was changed from Dreadwolf to Veilguard, I started to see the writing on the wall. Still, I held out hope the Veil would have some greater purpose in the story. That its introduction as a concept was for a reason. That something in this world would change.
Instead, from the get-go, the question of the Veil is no question at all. We only get Solas and Varric making oblique or catastrophizing statements about it. Solas says little beyond he has a plan. If I ever wanted to hear a villain monologue about their plan, it was now! Varric, on the other hand, decries Solas’s plan. He warns that should the Veil fall, it will destroy the world and drown it in demons. And that’s that.
We never really learn why Solas wants to tear the Veil down, or why he thinks it will help anyone. “The Veil is a wound inflicted upon this world. It must be healed,” he says. And that’s basically all he says about it in Veilguard. In Inquisition and Trespasser, we learn it took the immortality from the elves. It cut most of magic off from the world. Spirits are trapped and are being corrupted into demons, and most of what we know about spirits and demons is wrong. There are ancient elves possibly asleep? That part is left vague, but ancient elves are still about. We meet some in Mythal’s temple. There seems to have been some merit in bringing it down, because elves were flocking to Solas’s cause at the end of Trespasser. He had agents working for him already. What do they know that we don’t know?
Apparently nothing, because by the time Veilguard rolls around, there are no mention of agents. He is working alone. His only motivation now seems to be he’s too deep in his sunk-cost fallacy. The Veil is unnatural, so it must be removed—consequences be damned. We are never given any reason to think Solas has a leg to stand on in his pursuit of tearing down the Veil. We never hear any kind of counter argument from anyone, not even Solas, as to why the Veil should come down. We are only told it will destroy the world. It will drown the world in demons. This is all Solas’s fault.
There is no nuance. No complexity. No moral quandary to mull over. The game gives us vague warnings with no explanation as to what exactly is so world-annihilating about the Veil coming down. We must take Varric’s word at face value. We’re the heroes; Solas is the villain. Stop him.
It makes me wonder why Solas was ever a companion in Inquisition, let alone a romance option. Solas was presented to us as a complicated character in Inquisition. We had the potential throughout the game to make him see the value of this world, to help him realize he was wrong about it. “We aren’t even people to you,” the Inquisitor says in Trespasser. Solas replies, “Not at first. You showed me that I was wrong...again.” He began the third game viewing the world as tranquil, seeing the people in it as nothing more than figments in a nightmare, just as we saw our companions in the In Hushed Whispers quest. He ends the game having made friends, having recognized he was mistaken. He might have even fallen in love. (Or he may still seen no merit in this world if the Inquisitor antagonized him the entirety of their time together.) But something makes him continue with his plan to tear down the Veil, despite recognizing this world is real. He must know something we don’t. Something we’ll learn about in the next game.
We’ve been hearing about the Veil for three games now. We’ve set up our complex antivillain for the next installment, and he’s going to tear the Veil down. We swear to stop him or save him. But it has to be more complex than that. It can’t be so straightforward. Uncomplicated. Simple. Boring. Right? Right?
Nope. He really is just the villain, mustache-twirling and all. He apparently had no greater motivation, no as of yet unrevealed knowledge that would put this whole Veil thing into a new context. It was really as simple as the Veil falling will destroy the world, so Solas must be stopped. There is no new information that is revealed which makes us question what we are doing. Solas is never given any nuance or complexity to his actions. Nuance and complexity have actively been taken away. Both him and the Veil are looking like they are the worst things to be in a story: pointless. Why introduce the Veil if it’s just going to remain unchanged? Why introduce a character like Solas, bother humanizing him (for lack of a better term), giving us his backstory, setting him up as a cunning antagonist, only to make him look stupid, then put him on a shelf until the last ten minutes of your game?
Solas was the trickster archetype of this tale. He was our version of Loki from Norse mythology. What is the role of the trickster archetype? To challenge the status quo. To bring about events of extreme change, like say, the tearing down of a Veil that holds back all of magic. Loki is a huge contributing factor in Ragnarök. Through his manipulation, he causes the death of the beloved god, Baldr. This ushers in a long winter, which signifies the beginning of the end. Loki is imprisoned for this crime. When the final battle between gods and giants begins, the sun and moon are swallowed, plunging the earth into darkness. The earth shakes and Loki is freed to fight on the side of the giants. The world burns in raw chaos, falls beneath the sea, and is reborn. The world is remade, and a new realm of the gods and a new, better earth is formed.
It really felt like this was the setup they were going for. Solas causes the death of Mythal, and this is his catalyst for creating the Veil, which ushers in a world without magic. This could be seen as equivalent to the long winter. Solas falls asleep, trapped in dreams. He wakes and sets in motion bringing about the apocalypse. It’s not a perfect one to one, but it’s there if you squint. We have a war against the gods in Veilguard. I was expecting a few remaining Titans to wake and join the fight. But we don’t get any of that. There is a final battle, but it does not end in the end of the world. Or a better world. It just ends, and everything is the same.
It seems our trickster god caused his apocalypse thousands of years before our story started, when he created the Veil. His role in this tale was over before ours began, and he really is just some relic from a long-past age. He has no role, no purpose in this story. He is here to be thwarted. He is no Loki at all.
If you can’t tell, I wanted the Veil to come down. Did I think the Veil coming down would be painless? Have no negative consequences? No. Of course not. But keeping it up has negative consequences too. And it made for an interesting story. Or at least it could have. But we never explore that. The game presents no counter argument to having the Veil stay up, which, again, begs the question: what was the point of introducing the concept of the Veil at all?
Did I think the Veil coming down was actually the best solution to help Thedas become a better place? I don’t know, and I never will, because the game never argues for it one way or another. It just tells you to want it in place and to stop asking questions. In real life, a catastrophic event is not the best way to solve any of the world’s problems. But this is the realm of fiction. We have gods and monsters, magic and myth. We have introduced the status quo of Thedas, recognized it needs to change, then our trickster god appears ready to fulfill his role in the narrative.
Instead, it all comes to nothing.
I got to the end of Veilguard… and everything was more or less the same as it was at the start of Origins. Veilguard actually tries its hardest to pretend any previously mentioned problems don’t exist, so of course the Veil coming down has no merit. There are no problems to solve in this world, apparently. Solas is just stuck in the past and can’t get with the times. Silly Solas.
The Veil isn’t even a permanent solution. It wasn’t to begin with. It was some duct tape wrapped around a broken pipe, and we’ve just slapped an extra piece of tape on it. It’s still leaking. It is still unnatural, and will fall eventually one way or another. Large amounts of bloodshed weaken it, so I guess Thedas better achieve world peace real quick to avoid any battles. There were seven super-powered mages holding it together… now there is just one. Ironically, the Veil was going to fall after two more Blights anyway. The Wardens were doing Solas’s work for him! It would also have released the full force of the Blight at that time… which Solas was trying to avoid, I presume.
It feels like keeping the Veil up just pushed a big problem onto Thedas’ future generations. We’ll keep slapping bandaids on it until it all falls apart. Someone else can deal with the fallout, but we’ll be dead by then, so who cares.
Primarily, I wanted the Veil to come down from a storytelling perspective. The Veil was an interesting concept and I wanted the story to do something interesting with it. Conflict is what makes stories stories and the Veil coming down could create so much compelling and complex conflict. And the Fade is weird, and I like weird. Stories are also about change, and I wanted to see Thedas change. Yet, Veilguard is over, and barely anything has changed. Instead of magic coming back being a conflict for the next game, they went with Fantasy Illuminati. Oh.
The Veil turned out to be a nothing-burger, and no problems in this world are even close to being solved. Slavery is still rampant in Tevinter. The elven people are still oppressed everywhere. Mages have no more rights in the South than they did in Origins. Spirits are still trapped and being corrupted. The Calling still exists, though might be different somehow now? They don’t really get into that. The Chantry’s validity is still not allowed to be questioned. The Blight still exists in some form, but again it’s vague. Oh, and we learn the dwarves have been gravely wronged, and the Titans are still tranquil. At least if you redeem Solas and a romanced Lavellan joins him, they can work together on healing the Blight and helping the Titans. Oh, good. One problem is being acknowledged and some action will be taken. Offscreen. Hurray? Solas doesn’t have a really great track record of fixing problems, so Lavellan is definitely going to need to be there to make sure he doesn’t fuck it up.
For some reason, this game seemed terrified of letting us think about anything for more than two seconds. It shied away from complexity or nuance at every turn. The game is called The Veilguard—ironically, that word is never uttered in the game—but we are given no real motive for guarding the Veil. We’re unquestionably the hero. The villains are uncomplicatedly evil. Save the world… never wonder what you are doing or why.
I wanted the game to make me question if the Veil staying up or coming down was the right choice. I needed to be given a real counter argument. Convince me the alternative would actually be better or worse, because as I mentioned… things suck quite a bit in Thedas already for a lot of people right now. Let the Veil’s fate be a difficult choice to make. If the conflict cannot be what to do about the Veil, it should be am I doing the right thing about the Veil. If the heart of your game is so thin on motive, everything else falls apart around it.
I hoped they were setting up a complex, Thedas-sized existential conflict for this game in Trespasser, but no. I wanted something to happen, but nothing did.
I want to feel challenged and changed by a story, not left feeling empty. I’m tired of superficial entertainment. I want to sink my teeth into a narrative that doesn’t paint the world in broad strokes of black and white, good and evil, heroes and villains.
Ultimately, I think my issue is why even introduce a concept like The Veil if you’re not going to do anything interesting with it. Or anything at all. What I thought was Chekov’s Veil turned out to just be a MacGuffin. And that’s disappointing.
#dragon age#the veil#the veil the veil the veil#solas#in which I shake my fist at heaven for 3000 words
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Arcane Characters with a Puerto Rican Fem S/O
Jayce, Viktor, Vi, Caitlyn, Mel, Ekko, Sevika, Vander (nsfw)
Jayce
I like the idea that he is also Latino/Hispanic
Maybe Brazilian or Colombian
My sexy Latin Papí
In Piltover there isn’t really a big Latin community, so when he heard that you were Puerto Rican he befriended you reallllll fast
You studied botany and tech ecology, while he engineering
You wanted to save your islands flora and fauna by incorporating advanced tech, while he wanted to improve lives with magic 
You believed his dream since the beginning, even if you looked at him sometimes like he was crazy
“You have no idea what these crystals are capable of! What if we combine those aqueducts you designed for plant growth with runes? We can triple food production by 110%!” Jayce wrote equations on the board, mind going miles per second
“You think it can regrow completely deforested areas in less than 40 years?” You humored him.
“What if we can do it in less than 10?! The possibilities are endless! I promise that when I crack this, I will paint the whole world green for you.” Did he know how to warm your heart…
Jayce is a super touchy person and always has to have skin to skin contact like a new born
You get mistaken for a couple a lot before you even officially started dating
Always kisses you on the cheek when you greet each other. A very Latino thing!
Piltover’s greetings are very cold, only handshakes and shoulder pats. So he was ecstatic to finally have someone to do it with outside his family
Viktor became a victim of your kisses. But he secretly enjoys it
Jayce always smells good! Ximena taught him good hygiene since he was little. Whenever he feels a light sweat coming on he immediately hits the showers
Has a gold chain! Never takes it off. It was originally his father’s.
Doesn’t speak very good Spanish, but you teach him in between Hextech protects and meetings
You guys talk endlessly about your backgrounds and even bring treats to each other
“Mmm— oh, fuck!” He moaned shoving another spoon full of food into his mouth. Eyes rolling to the back of his head
“Jayce it really isn’t that good.” You were blushing like crazy, completely forgetting the plate in front of you. You just wanted to do something nice for him
“What are you taking about?! It’s the best thing I’ve had in weeks!”
He had been working his ass off building the new Hextech towers and surviving on sandwiches for the past month
“I also brought dessert, if you are interested…”
Jayce looked at you with puppy dog eyes. Absolutely enamored. Cheeks full like a chipmunk
“I. Love. You. Soooo. Much.” Jayce said grabbing your face and kissing you all over
“Te amo, mi rey.” (I love you, my king.) You said while gently wiping the side of his lips with your thumb
Jayce can dance! And I mean really dance. Ximena put him in classes when he was little because she didn’t want him to forget his roots
Dancing with Jayce is about passion, making love on the dance floor. Bodies pressed against each other, hands running above hot pumping blood and flesh. Heavy eye contact that yells sex and pleasure
You guys have sex in the forge all the time, instead of pounding hot metal he pounds that wet pussy (hahaha!)
Watching him pull the chains of the fire pit just gets it going for you. Back sweaty from the flames and work. Tan skin so glossy like copper
From you just wanting some papers to be signed for an new upcoming project turned into you having him on the workshop table
“Just like that, mi reina (my queen ). Como me haces sentir tan bien.” (You make me feel so good.)”
Jayce was thrusting into your cunt, the wood of the desk rattleing with every give and take. Your hands on his bare ass and his bracing your sides
When Jayce found your cunt’s sweet spot, the one that made your head fall into his shoulder with your eyes rolling back; pornografic grunt on your lips, he found gold
“You like that?” He grinned, finding solace in pleasure he gave you. Amused at how his body served yours so well
“Mmmm— yeah…” You licked the sweat of his jaw, slight stubble rough against your tongue
You loved him so much. Him with his stupid little smiles and big hands. And oh those eyes that made you dream of a safer tomorrow
“Esos ojitos de miel son tan bonitos. Te quiero comer enterito, papí!” (Those honey eyes are so pretty. I want to eat you whole, love!) You were practically going feral at his grasp. Eating at his neck and chest, savoring the taste of ash on his skin
You leaned back on your elbows, breasts jumping at his thrusts. Grabbing his wrist and bringing his hand up to cup your tit. Watching his cock drill in and out of your pussy. He was close by the knit of his eyebrows. Hips becoming harsher and sloppy
Jayce teased your clit, moving his fingers in the way you liked. Loving the clench of your walls as you grained your pelvis on his dick
“Assssíííí, cabrón—”(jusssstt like that, fucker—)
You came together in a world wind of grunts and curses. You creaming on his cock. Jayce rested his body weight on you as he came undone. Easing his head from your collar bones and giving his lips a peck. You loved how disheveled he looked, all fucked out with empty watery eyes
“Want me to give you a blowjob as you sign these for me?” You said brushing the hair of his face. Thankful for the shower he had installed at your request
“I would be an idiot to say no!”
Jayce is the king of aftercare! He will always have a snack or even a little trinket to give you after sex
“Look, I made a little pendant of the PR map!” Jayce showed you the little piece of metal. White teeth glinting as he was so proud of his artistry
“Oh my God— it uhmm… It has character alright!”
It looked more like a disheveled bean but you wore it proudly everywhere! You love your man
When you start dating Jayce, Viktor became your much appreciated third wheel
You always pack extra goodies and food in Jayce’s lunch box so that he gets feed too
Getting sad when Jayce comes home with tears in his eyes because his friend doesn’t take good care in himself
You even go as far as bringing him homemade meal preps to his house so he always has a warm dinner
Jayce’s favorite dishes you make are anything meat based: Bistec encebollado (beef steak with grilled onions), pollo guisado (stewed chicken in red sauce served over white rice), and pernil (slow oven roasted pork with crispy skin)
Would never admit to his mamá that your cooking is better than hers
And his mom absolutely invites you over to cook with her
Saying that she needs to pass on her recipes to her future daughter-in-law
You like spending Christmas at the Talis residence. A big old family gathering with delicious food and music
Ximena was more than pleased knowing that Jayce got himself a Latin girl!
Get ready to pump out some big chunky babies! This man is a Latino at heart and that comes with a few kids running around
The first time you ever visited the Talis home, Ximena took out all of Jayce’s baby pictures
“Awww, look at your tushy! Plump as ever I see.”
Jayce put his head in his hands. Ears red from his naked baby photos that you were so entranced by
“Mamí, please for the love of God put them away!”
Ximena gave her wedding ring to Jayce shortly after you left. The ring was carved and made by Jayce’s late father
“Si te vas a casar con cualquier persona, Jayce, tiene que ser ella.” (If you’re going to marry someone, Jayce, it has to be her.)
You call Jayce cerebrito (little brain) and he loves calling you mi tesoro (my treasure)
Viktor
Viktor knows the struggles of making it in Piltover as an outsider, both being form the Undercity and physically disabled
And making it to the best academy in Piltover while being different was surely a merit on its own
From simple study buddies to lovers. You fell first, but he fell harder
You call him estrellita (little star) because of his many beauty marks
I’ve read that people like to headcanon him as Czech, and I like that…. I like at ALOT
Teaches your words in his language to talk shit behind Jayce’s back. And by shit I mean make fun of his failed prototypes
Viktor straight out asked you to teach him the dirties curse words PR has to offer. And oh boy, do you give him a colorful list—
Cabrón (bastard), puñeta (fuck), hijo de puta (son of a whore), me cago en tu madre (I shit on your mom), mama bicho (cock sucker) , me cago en na’ (I shit on nothing), vete pal carajo (go fuck yourself)—
One time he got pissed at Jayce for not doing an equation right that ended up with the lab half burned to the ground.
You just stood next to Viktor as you watched them bicker at each other like a married couple. Jayce cleaning up the ash of his failed work
“You should have run them by me or Sky first, Jayce! We are partners, not competitors!” Viktor threw his now burned lab coat at him, hitting Jayce in the chest
“Well you shouldn’t have been making improvements to the Hexcore without my knowledge then!” Jayce pointed at Viktor, nailing back the fallen boards with unnecessary force. Wow, grumpy Jayce never got old
“You know what, Jayce—” Viktor looked at you with a evil glint in his eyes. Oh, no… “¡Me cago en tu madre!”
Jayce gasped like an old woman seeing a half naked girl at church. Mama’s boy Talis was going out for blood today
“Don’t talk about my Mamí like that—” he pointed at Viktor, hammer in one hand ready to knock his brains out.
“Come here you fucker!” Jayce launched towards Viktor as he scrambled to the other side of the desk
“Jayce, please don’t strain him too much! I still would like him in one piece!”
You were caught in this mess trying not to laugh as Viktor ran away with a giggle from his soon to be killer
“Take it back or I’m going to take that leg brace I built off with the bone still attached!”
“Never!” Viktor yelled triumphantly
It ended with Jayce and Viktor on their ass thanks to a good back head slap on your part
Guava enthusiasts. You brought mantecaditos (short bread cookies with guava paste on top) one time to the lab and they were gone before Jayce could try them
“Seriously, Viktor you didn’t even save me one—“ Jayce was looking inside the tin box with sad puppy dog eyes. Only finding crumbs at the every bottom
“There weren’t that many in the box anyways, Jayce.” Viktor said hiding the last cookies in his desk drawer. You made over 40 cookies, but he was never going to tell Jayce that
He likes anything vinegar based and soups. Like guineitos en escabeche (boiled green bananas dressed in a vinegar sauce) and sancocho (a hearty stew with a bunch of meat and vegetables like cabbage and yams)
It’s so funny hearing him pronounce the foods he likes! Viktor is really good at rolling his r’s. His accent is just to cute!
“What did you want me to make you Viktor?” You tried to hide your laughter as you looked at a grumpy Viktor
“I told you that I want that dulce de lecussy. The one you made last week with pieces of cheese.” He huffed
“You mean dulce de LECOSA!” (candied papaya in sweet syrup with firm cheese) You crackled with lungs on fire from laughing so hard
“And what did I say then?!” He sassed at you trying to dim his smile
“That you basically wanted dessert pussy!!”
“I would mind that either, actually.” You gave him a slap on his shoulder. The sheer perversion of this man!
“¡Fo, que puerco eres!” (Ew, you’re such a pig!)
“How dare you call me a pig—” he gasped as you ran away from his wrath
He chased you with his cane and you ran around giggling trying to escape him
Viktor definitely has put in some weight and looks so much healthier
“I’m blaming you for my favorite trousers not fitting anymore.”
Once you showing him how real Puerto Rican girls twerk you created a new type of man. You decided to surprise him with a naked lesson. Rewarding him for the success of the Hextech gates.
“And what exactly do you call this?” Viktor rasped out. One hand firmly placed on your right hip. As the other went white holding the handle off his cane. Voice heavy with the heat of pleasure
“Perreo” you looked back at Viktor, watching him savor the ripples of your skin as you shook your body to the lyrics of Ivy Queen
“Mmm perreo…” he reaped absentmindedly
Pressing the cusp of your cunt on his clothed bulge, ass cheeks consuming and spilling out from his pelvis. Shaking your hips at various speeds and rhythms
Alternating between having your hands on the floor with your legs spread wide, having your knees bent with your fits on them, taking an ass cheek and spreading it so Viktor can see your sloppy pussy
“Eres bella.” (You’re beautiful.) heavy tongued, loving that the phrases you taught him were finally doing their magic
“Take that cock out now, jodio cabrón (fucking bastard).” Fuck did Viktor make you horny
“So vulgar.” He slowly unzipped his pants. Torturing you. He released his beautiful long cock. Dripping lines of precum down his head to his shaft 
You moaned at the sight of his dick, ready to be stuffed full. Spreading your pussy lips as an invitation. “Put it in.”
“I didn’t know that just a little dance could make you so aroused. Tell me what other— ohhhh, Janna!” Viktor had the wind knocked out of his lungs. Mouth gapping in pleasure
Sinking down his length shut him up. Pressing your ass until your cunt was consuming Viktor in a tight hold. Pushing him deep into the concrete
You swiftly shaking your ass faster than ever before. Not letting a single inches of that glorious dick escape your needy walls. One hand on the cold lab floor and the other playing with your clit
Viktor was whining, overwhelmed by the heat of your body. Hand letting go of his cane, it hit the ground with a powerful thud. Bracing himself on your hips
“I’m going to c-cum, my love—”
“Hechame esa leche adentro— mmmmmm… ¡Que rico eres, mi blanquito lindo!” (Cum inside me— mmmmmm… You’re delicious, my pretty little white boy!”)
Viktor came with a silente scream coating the inside of your pussy. If it wasn’t for the wall supporting Viktor’s back he would be on the ground by now
“That was incredible.” He stated, eyes wide with wonder and face flushed
He certainly asked for perreo lessons later on
And Viktor surprisingly can shake his hips very well! Which comes in handy for more than just one thing…
Vi
When you told her you were Puerto Rican she definitely said: “A mi me gusta la chocha de Puerto Rico.” (I love Puerto Rican pussy.)
You introduced her to reggaeton and now there is no going back, her favorite artist is Daddy Yankee
She likes to dirty dance with you, having your ass pressed against her pelvis. Especially when she has Bacardi in her veins
Vi doesn’t care what you put in her plate as long as it’s fresh and delicious
She enjoyes rice based dishes the most, like arroz con calamares (rice with calamari) and arroz con salchicha (rice with cocktail weenies)
She once downed a full bottle of coquito (coconut eggnog) on her own
Vi’s favorite dessert is arroz con coco (a coconut rice pudding)
She definitely makes fun of you for not being able to say certain words right!
Don’t EVER make a Puerto Rican say “jewelry” or “burglary”. We are allergic to L’s and R’s and it will cause us to go into septic shock!
Likes being called gringa by you. Thinks it’s hot when you say it, especially when she annoys the crap out of you
Her favorite curse word is vete pal’ carajo (go fuck yourself). And when she gets into scuffles or fights she always tosses it around
And she’s like “yeah, my girlfriend taught me that. I’m a bilingual queen as well.” She low key embarrassed the fuck out of you when she says that
“Vi, I really don’t want to do this—” Vi was strapping a pair of boxing gloves to your hands. “What if I get hurt? What if I hurt you?”
“Don’t worry about me, cupcake! I can take a few punches just fine. I’ll go easy on you. And besides—” she slapped the side of your headbrace. “I’ve seen you practice with Powder before. Ehh, it’s kind of pathetic how you throw a fist to be honest.” She gave your nose a peck, turning around and taking her side of the ring
“Hey! I’m a great hit!” You sassed placing your gloved hands on your hips
It was ON. You definitely were out for blood
“Then prove it! The stage is yours!” She ran the little bell that was attached at the wall.
It been less than 6 minutes in and you were already panting
Vi was definitely going light on you. Not even taking the spots you intentionally let open for her. She only dodged your every attempt to get a hit in
Light on her feet as she tripped your leg, causing you to fall on the ropes of the ring.
You wanted to call it, but your pride was too strong. And you equally stupid
“When are you going to hit me for real?! I didn’t think the great Violet was just a pussyfoot!” Vi pushed your buttons the right way. She loved when you got bratty
“You can’t take this heat, cupcake. I’ll knock you out until next Monday and Vander will have my head on a stick if I do.” She was right, but God did you want to wipe that smug look of her face!
“Oh, yes I can!” Your fist had a mind of its own. Angry as she was so cocky
Before you could think you took the open spot on her face. Hitting her square in the jaw, knocking her back on the rubber ropes. Vi was in shock and whiplashed by the quickness of your punch
“¡Ay, puñeta! ¡¿Violet, estás bien?!” (Oh, fuck! Violet, are you okay?!) You desperately took your gloves and stupid helmet off. The Velcro fighting your desperate attempt to pull it off
A drop of blood escaped her lips, Vi’s thumb flicked at the side of her mouth. Eyes on the smear of red, then up to you. Smirking at the damaged you inflicted
Fuck did you just make her 100 times hornier than she already was
“That kind of hurt.” Translation: it hurt like hell!
By the fire in her eyes you knew that you were so screwed. Your belly grew warm, the hole between your legs clenching on nothing
“Vi, I’m s-so sorry! I told that this was a bad—”
In a swift play of time, she pinned you against the ground. Having her left arm around your neck in a headlock, her left hand on your shoulder. As her legs trapped yours under her thighs, having them spread out with your pelvis arching forward. Both of your arms crossed behind your back pinned by the weight of your body
You moaned at the discomfort. Muscles tired by the training, you tried your best to wiggle out. Only for Vi to hold you harder against herself
“What’s wrong, cupcake? Bit off more than you can chew?” You did answer her with words, but with that glint in your eyes that meant (Fuck me, you damned raspberry bitch)
She slithered your baggy pants past your knees. Your pantieless cunt up in the air. Vi loved how you were always easy to access. From fingering you in public to her eating you out in some random alley
“Naughty girl. Who knew decking me in the face could get your pussy so wet.” She dipped a finger in your folds. Scooping the wetness and pulling it out to watch it drip
She gave your cunt a slap and your clit fluttered at the assault. Pulsating for more
“You like that, uhh?”
“Y-yeah—”
Vi gave you a plethora of open palmed hits. Juices streaming down your ass. Yelping as your cunt was being abused. All swollen and red
Vi thrusted her fingers into your opening in a scissoring motion. Her bloody thumb circling your clit
“V-vi— ahhhhaaamm! No puedo ver másss.” (I cant see anymore) Gurgling on the spit of your throat. Ready to pass out any second
Your vision went white by the lack of oxygen and the way Vi’s fingers played with your cunt so deliciously. Hot tears burning your skin from the constant stimulation
You stuck your tongue out, spitting saliva out thanks to the lack of air in your lungs. Face ready to turn blue. But did it make your body feel good…
“Just a little more— alright?”
Vi curled the tips of her fingers on your g spot and digged them in far into your crevice. Shaking her wrist to send vibrations to your whole pussy
You bit her forearm, shocks of pleasure coursing out the inside of your walls. Your teeth broke the skin, tasting the blood of your lover
Squirting the liquid of your orgasm on the ring’s floor. Vi let your body go, your lungs reviving in painful gulps of air
Vi turned you on your side, massaging your ribs and sternum. Licking the spit around your temple. She kissed your lips, careful not to take more oxygen from your body
“Who is going to clean this up?” Voice hoarse. Your mouth tasted coppery
“Lick the floor clean, losers get janitor duty.” She slapped your ass, you groaned at the lack of humanity. Vi got up from the floor and headed to her water bottle. Instead of taking a drink she poured it on her chest and hair. Nipples highlighted through her white sports bra. She pushed her wet hair back arms flexing a she felt your gaze on her
“We don’t got all night, cupcake. Avanza (hurry up).”
What a tease
Caitlyn
This girl has never know flavor until you came around
You were the daughter of one of her mother’s tailors and stylist. Your mom always brought you along to see her clients because she wanted you to take over one day
When you first visited the Kiramman residence you were blown away by the beauty of the estate. Your mom told you that this client would take longer than the others because she ordered a whole custom made ball gown
“I have a daughter, Caitlyn, about your age as well! Maybe you ladies can be friends! God knows my girl needs a gal pal.” She said excitedly as she was getting fitted for her gown.
Mrs. Kiramman gave you the liberty to explore the gardens as your mother worked. And you sat down near the water fountain to have your snack
“Esta gente si que tiene chavos…” (These people sure do have money…)
As you were munching on your sandwiches you saw a head of indigo hair peeking out from the rose bushes. A young girl
“Caitlyn, right? Do you want one?” You ask stretching your arms with your lunch in your hands. She timidly walked towards you
“What are they?” The girl asked as she sat next to you
“Sandwiches de mezcla (spam and velvita sandwiches) and platanutres (thinly fried plantain chips) ! They are really good, I made them fresh this morning.”
Caitlyn looked at them, and gently picked up a sandwich. Slowly taking a bite as she looked at your happy face.
Her eyes sparkling at the soft bread and salty spread
“Mmmm— I’ve never had anything like this before!” She then picked up some plantain chips. Savoring the salty crunch of them.
You quickly become friends. Cait even convinced her mother that she liked wearing fancy clothes just so that she could she you more frequently
Mrs. Kiramman was ecstatic that her little girl was going to wear more dresses than only her school uniform
Cait even goes as far as to ask her mom to invite you to her birthday party. The only close friend she really had was Jayce. And there were only going to be adults from other houses and The Council
You also became friends with Jayce, you both taught Cait how to dance bachata and salsa
“Cait move your hips more! You are stiff as a board, mija (girl)!” You said guiding her feet to the music
“I don’t have hips to shake!” She said as her cheeks flushed
Cait knows only a few Spanish phrases thanks to Jayce. Girl can’t roll her r’s or say her l’s even to save her life
She is a sweets girl! Loves flan de queso (cream cheese flan) and flan de vanilla (vanilla flan)
When she finally confessed her love for you she did it in Spanish. She practiced with Jayce for almost a month to get the emotions right
“Me gustas mucho. Te adoro. ¿Quieres ser mi novia?” (I like you a lot. I adore you. Do you want to be my girlfriend?) She handed you a bouquet of lilacs. You were so excited that you knocked her on her ass! You hit your head on a table and both of you spend your commitment with ice on your limbs
You watched each other grow up, you becoming a seamstress like your mother. And Cait going against all Mrs. Kiramman’s wishes and graduating from the Enforcer Academy
You join Cait in the private shooting classes with Officer Grayson. Both excellent shoots, but you not so much. You’re better in close range with a handgun
She looks so sexy in her enforcer outfit!
Lost your virginities to other other! It was the day of her graduation of the academy. When everyone was clustered in the Kiramman estate celebrating her accomplishment
You sneaked away together to her bedroom. Stealing a tray of hors d’oeuvres and a bottle of wine. Wanting to get away from the elite of Piltover
You were on her bed, stuffing your mouth with cheese and crackers
“You’re going to get crumbs on my sheets.”
“Are you going to give me a ticket for it?” Caitlyn scoffed at you as you tentatively shoved another bite in your mouth
Caitlyn stood in front of the mirror. Fixing her medals and badges that hung on the fabric. You knew her too well, she was picking herself apart. Thinking that she only got in the academy because of her name only
“I think I would get used to calling you “Officer Kiramman” you said crawling to the edge of the bed, bottle of wine in your hand. Lying on your stomach with your palm under your chin. Looking at the pretty lady in blue
You patted the spot next to you, discarding the bottle to the floor. Crossing your legs on the mattress
She walked to the bed and sat next to you, leaving her top hat on her bedroom ottoman
“Caitlyn, you have to believe me when I say that you are so much more than your house” You held her temple in your palm, she held your wrist. Closing her eyes as she savored your compassion
“You are more talented than those silver spooned pricks out there! You may have the same money and influence, but they will never reach the level of talent you have. Because what is all this power for if you don’t have the heart to push change? You care, Cait! And I saw with my own eyes how you make others do as well. Like the time you told your mom to give a raise for her maids and workers! Remember that?”
She giggled, remembering that day she saw your mother counting her last few coins to afford a new pair a shoes for you. Cait yelled at Mrs. Kiramman for hours, until she finally gave into her mistake
Next time she saw you there was a brand new pair of shoes on your feet that had you running up to Cait to tell her all about
And that instance evolved into Cait wanting a better world for you. She wanted to change the concrete you walked on into fields of flowers
“Thank you, I really needed that…”
“It also helps that you have a nice pair of tits.” You joked as you pointed to her Enforcer jacket
“You minx!”
She slapped your shoulder and chuckled as you faked your hiss in pain. Rolling around the bed as you help your poor “broken” arm!
“Ohhh, I’ve been a victim of police brutality!”
“I’ll show you brutality, bebé (babe)!”
She climbed on top of you, tickling your sides
“¡Cait, para que no puedo respirar!” (Cait, stop I can’t breathe!) Cait stopped her attach, watching as your chest rose to catch the missing breaths. Your cheeks rosie in adrenaline
She wanted you there with her always. Your hair on her pillows and the smell of your skin lingering on the buttery covers
“Cait?” You asked as you calmed down. Looking at her in worry
“Fuck it” Cait thought, as her lips captured yours in an estranged kiss.
After years of ghostly touches, of lingering eyes, and Jayce calling your romance worse than nuns in love in a convent. She wanted to go the next level with you
You pulled her in, rolling yourself on top
“Are you sure?” You asked bracing her neck
“It would be my honor to have my first time with you.” And yours as well. You started to take layers of your bodies
You both laughed at your struggle to unclip her blouse. Her fingers guiding yours as she showed you the intricacy of the clasps
“I guess that “enforcement” also extends to your uniform.”
“That’s why I only let you make my garments—” Caitlyn kissed the corner of your eye. “They are much more second party friendly.” You pushed the shirt of her body, surprised at the nakedness of the chest
“No bra?” You cupped her breast, feeling the goose bumps of her skin. Her breath hitched at the coldness of your hands
“I didn’t just expect half ass handshakes and putrid marriage proposals as graduation presents.” Cait took charge, pinning you against the edge of the bed. Crawling downwards to your core
She raised your skirt, white sheer stockings held by a lacy garter around your waist. Her eyes widened at the lack of fabric covering your mound
“You weren’t the only one expecting more than just pat on the shoulder tonight.” You moaned as she spread apart your lips
Cait dove in between your legs. Hands in your hips as she guided her tongue along your folds. Nose resting on the shell of your clit
“I t-think, ahhh, you underestimate yourself too much, Cait.” She focused on your bud, rolling her lips on it. Then sucking ever so lightly to draw whimpers out of your vocal cords
“¡Ya no aguanto más! Yo creo que—” (I can’t bear it anymore! I think that—)
You came with a grunt, arching your back of the matters. Head filling with rushed blood as it hanged free of support from the mattress. As you were lost in your high, Cait placed her cunt on yours and rolled her hips. Feeling her clit make love to yours. Your previous orgasm used at oil to make her slip against your pleasures
“Ready for another round?” She whispered into your raised calf. Teeth ripping the material of your stockings. She will buy you new ones, better ones.
Caitlyn was born into wealth and privilege, but she is the most understanding girl you’ll ever met
When you pointed out the problem, she found a solution even if it meant going against her high society
You opened her eyes to the real world and she is so thankful for that
Mel
You were part of the council serving as an international ambassador like her
When Mel first saw what you brought to the council she wanted only to use you as a pawn
But she fell in love with your want for progress, one that actually breaks cycles and not just one that covers them with empty promises
She saw herself in you, a woman that wanted to break the bounds of her past convictions
Neither of you had houses in Piltover and shared different cultural backgrounds than the others
You secretly make fun of the culture shocks you experienced when first moving to Piltover
Both you and Mel HATE the cold that comes with Piltovan winters
She knew about your country and even speaks fluent Spanish thanks to her mother being a Noxian general.
Mel is a scholar, she read up on everything PR before ever making a move on you
Even if she already read up on everything she asks you questions just to hear you rant about your roots
“Is it true that Puerto Rico has the best coffee? I’ve been planning on investing in some companies, but I’m still on the fence…” Mel said in a quizzical tone. Tapping her pen to her chin
Your eyes sparkled. “We have the BEST coffee! Did you know that we have almost 3,000 coffee farms in all PR?! And we also have started to produce cacao as well. It’s incredible considering—” you ranted out
She zoned out, just appreciating the beauty of which you speak so lovingly about a simple thing as coffee beans
You teach her how to make homemade sofrito (a wet spice blend made with sweet peppers, cilantro, recao, and other herbs)
But your favorite memory is when you made dulce de leche together because Mel wanted to make a tiered cake for Alura’s birthday
“¿Quieres probar un poco?” (Want to try some?) You had already some on your index finger for yourself, but you were dipping the wooden spoon for Mel to taste
“Absolutely.” She took the spoon out of your hand and placed it back in the pot. Mel grabbed your wrist
She brought your finger to her mouth. Feeling the velvety muscle roll on your finger pad. Mel took your digit all the way to the knuckle. Slowly pulling her head back with a moan
“It could use some more vanilla.” Mel said dipping her finger back into the caramel. You were felt stunned, mouth gapping and your temple rose red
“What about the sugar?” You cringed as your voice broke. Screaming mentally about getting a grip. You literally have the prettiest woman in Piltover at your wake, and here you are speaking like a teen hitting puberty!
“Mmm, I can find another way to make it a little sweeter…”
“Strip for me, darling.” You did has she commanded. Shredding off the layers of clothing all to please her
You loved the way she looked at you, eyes of a lioness. They held a power over you, you ate from her hands
She took the pot by the handle and tilted it until syrup flowed out the metal. Pouring lukewarm dulce de leche on your skin. As if she was washing the body of a queen. It slowly dripping down your body. From your nipples to the crescents of your abdomen
Flicking her finger up the cusp of your breast to your nipple. Collecting the sugary treat only for her to give her finger to you. You repeating the same action she did moments before
She stared at the base of your neck, then at your chest. Occasionally, coming back to you and sticking out her tongue so you could eat it out of her mouth. You didn’t know who was sweeter. Mel or the candy you made together
Mel kittened licked your areolas clean, never breaking eye contact with you. As her hot tongue cleaned you off
Mel stripped shortly after. The gold birthmarks of her body reflecting in the light. She takes the spoon an and spreads the dulce de leche on her ass cheeks. Candy flowing down her thighs
“Eat up.”
You sat on the floor staring with the drizzle on her thighs, then raising to the globes of her ass. Licking the syrup of her smooth skin. Nibbling at the small golden freckles that decorated her dark skin
“Is it sweet enough now, darling?”
You ordered a cake from an expensive bakery in Piltover and called it a day. What Alura didn’t know won’t hurt her
She definitely stuffed your pussy with her paint brushes when she is working on a new project
Having your legs spread wide for her as he picks up a brush for your entrance, making sure she thrusts it in and out a few times to get a moan for you
Sucking the juices of the handle then dipping the bristles in red paint
And what about you eating her out in her office when she is working?! The possibilities are endless with Mel
For me she is the type to love anything you make her. There is so much diversity in Puerto Rican cuisine and her just picking one is impossible in her eyes.
But man does she appreciate a fresh mofongo relleno de camarones (smashed fried plantain topped with shrimp in a tomato sauce)
And you also teach her the basics of bomba (a tradicional African dance). Even gifting her a custom made traditional outfit to make your dance rehearsals all the more authentic
Mel takes you on lavish vacations to the island. Staying at the best hotels and you serve as a guide to her. Taking Mel to all your favorite local spots to eat pinchos (meat skewers) and drink Medallas (Puerto Rican beer)
You took her to your favorite archipelagos and little islands surrounding PR. And skinny dipped into the various bioluminescent bays at night. Mel had never had such a good time in her life
“Querida (love), I have a present for you.” Mel entered your shared living space. Medium canvas in hand
“Oh, Mel! You didn’t have to! Is there any special occasion that I forgot about?!” You got up from your stop on the couch, greeting her with a kiss
“No, love. I just wanted to do something special.” She turned the canvas around. You squealed at the art piece. She never disappoints!
“Mel! ¡Qué pintura más espectacular! (What an espectacular painting!) The water and sand look so life like! I can’t wait to hag this up in my office!”
“I painted it after we got back from holiday. It’s that big archipelago you took me at the end of your trip.” She circled your waist for behind, resting her chin on your shoulder
“Yes, Cayo Icacos! Oh my God, it even has the same dock and the coast line!” You said admiring the canvas
“There is also on more thing—” She walked over your wine cabinet, pouring two glasses of wine. “I bought Icacos for us. So we can spend your winter vacations there. Alone. Together.” She kissed your jaw, handing you the glass
“Oh like you rented it out for us?” You took a swig, moaning at the sweet undertones
“No, I got the government to officially sell it to me and put it under our names.” Mel said nonchalantly. You sip out your wine in shock
Yep, you definitely passed out shortly after
Ekko
You were one of the people that lost everything to Silco. Your community was slowly taken by Shimmer and gang wars
Ekko and the Firelights rescued you from Silco’s men. You didn’t want to join his web of crime and they proceeded to burn your shop with you inside
If it wasn’t for them being close by you would have lost more than just a few inches of healthy skin
Ekko teaches you how to fix things, how to clean and go at any loose cables their hover skateboards may have
You also picked up flying those boards pretty quickly, he made sure to make them as user friendly as possible
You were sitting on one of the many branches of the Tree, watching the children play and seeing the progress of the new faces in the mural. Fuck did it hurt seeing those paint brushes touch the trunk of the tree
The branch shook with the addition of a foreign weight
“Lost in thought, chica (girl).” You looked up at Ekko, still wearing his Firelight coat with his white owl mask hanging from his belt
“Tell me what’s your mind.” He sat next to you, bumping your shoulder playfully
“I fell like I’m not doing much— like I’m not doing anything. Like I-I’m a burden to this place.” You sighed, throat tight with anxiety. Eyes burning with hot tears
“And what do you want to do?” Ekko asked, holding your hand that was resting your lap. Shining brown eyes studying your features
God why was he so damn handsome when you are in the middle of a breakdown!
“I just d-don’t want to stand by— and — and watch my people be slaughtered…” You said between jagged lips
Ekko smirked at your answer, slowly pulling away from you and placing a box on your thighs
“What is it?” You wiped your tears away with the back of your hand
“Open.” Ekko leaned back on his palms, trying his best to keep his cool guy act even if he was nervous as hell inside
You opened the box, inside there was a Firelight mask. One shaped like the face of a bird like many others in group
Suddenly you remembered that faint pop of green in the sky from your childhood. Of a little green bird that would eat your grandmas tomatoes from her garden
Your eyes widened. What is this really what you think it is?
“Ekko— is this a cotorra puertorriqueña (PR’s national bird)?” You said in aw, lifting the mask and examining its details. Feeling the emotion Ekko put into carving it
“I’m sorry it took so long, but I wanted to make something that would represent you—” He took a small book from of his coat, falling apart by age. “And I landed on that. I found this book in one of the flee markets I went to.” He flipped the pages, letting you see the images and words on the pages. Everything from fauna to history was written on it
Ekko pointed at an image of the bird. “It just screamed you— beautiful and free. I-I mean also many other things like—”
You cut Ekko of with an embrace, holding the mask to your chest
“No sabes cuán agradecida estoy, Ekko. Gracias, gracias, gracias…” (You don’t know how grateful I am for this, Ekko. Thank you, thank you, thank you…) You sobbed on his shoulder, gripping him tightly as if something was going to take him away from you
“Por nada, chica (you’re welcome, girl).” Ekko whispered, arms circling your back
You cook for the Firelight community and when it’s your turn to serve your food the line triples with people more than other days
Ekko even made space for a little herb garden for you! And you have some plantain trees growing in
He likes helping you cook as well. His favorite thing to do is cut, mash, and fry tostones (plantain fritters)
Wouldn’t it be cool for Ekko to have some Caribbean background?! Like Jamaican, Trinidadian, or even Dominican
I can just see Ekko going ham on a pastelón de carne (a sweet plantain lasagna with ground beef and mozzarella cheese)
You give the kids and the adults Spanish lessons. And private ones to Ekko (wink wink)
I believe that the community has a beautiful shower pace! Filled with plants and vines that filter the water making it crystal clear. It’s almost like a never ending waterfall. And it’s especially breathtaking at night when the moon and fireflies light the place up
It was past midnight, and you just got back from other painstaking parole. Dirt coating your clothing and skin
You head straight to the showers. Discarding your clothes on the bench of the makeshift stall you were in.
The stream was cool to your skin, nursing those fresh bruises on your arms and thighs. Grateful for the fresh washcloths, liquid soap and towels that were replenished after every use
You turned around at the sound of an object falling. Ekko’s pupils wide at the sight of your bare breasts and ass. As his owl mask laid on the floor. Who long was he there looking? Did he like what he was looking at?
“S-shit I’m sorry! I thought that it was empty! I’m just gonna—”
“It’s okay— you can stay if you want, Ekko…” Did one of Silco’s goons hit you to hard on the head? Ekko hesitated at first, but when you gave him a nod
You saw him taking off his clothes. Body littered with old scars. He stepped into your space. Both you and him admiring your bodies, if it wasn’t for the cold water you would be in flames
Trying your best to not look at his cock. You started washing off the white paint, careful of not to get any in his eyes. And he did the same, washing your face and neck. A blush on your cheeks
“I believe that “Boy Savior” is an understatement—” Feeling his toned stomach under the soapy washcloth. “You are more of a man than a lot of people out there.”
“Can I kiss you?” He brushed his thumb along the curves your your lips
“Yes…”
Ekko leaned into your lips. He hungered you for a long time, scared that if he got to close you’ll disappear like all his past loved ones
He touched the purple bruise on your rib as he wanted to pull you in, you gasped in pain breaking the kiss. His touch recoiled, then slowly came back in feather like stokes
“You should have never gotten this hurt!” He was angry at himself, it should have been him getting hurt. Not you, never you!
“I shouldn’t have been so focused on destroying those Shimmer barrels…” He pressed his forehead on yours. Eyes crimson with hurt
“We signed up for this, I did too. And if making the Underground better means a few scrapes and headaches, then I’m more than happy to do so.” Thumb wiping away his stray tears
“What can I do to make this up to you?” He kissed the pulse of your wrist
“If you shut up and make love to me.”
He backed you against the rocky wall, water cascading in between your bodies. You wrapped your legs around his waist. Moans concealed by the rush of the water
Ekko’s hips meet yours as he dropped and lifted your body on his arms. Cock hitting you gummy walls and g-spot
“¡Clávame más fuerte! ¡Quiero que se te rompa el bicho de tan duro que me rócese!” (Fuck me harder! I want you to break your dick with how hard you give it to me!)
Nails scratching his back, adding to the multitude of wounds on his body. You both were going to hurt so bad in the morning
“You drive me crazy, chica (girl)!”
You came in his cock in the final thrust, body pulsating with the warmth of your orgasm and the ice of the water
He pulled out and came on your stomach, kissing your neck hard enough to leave traces of your escaped. Your legs jelly at the knees
You and Ekko spent the last hours of night in the streams. Basking in the freshness of your flesh. Having each other on every wall and surface possible
“You know what I’m feelin’ right now?”
“Like your cock is going to fall off?” You said into his chest as you laid back with him on the wooden bench looking at the moon. Ekko’s chest rumbled in a chuckle
“That, and a hot bowl of asopao de pollo (chiken and rice soup).”
Sevika
Sevika definitely has a thing for Latinas
You moved to Piltover a few years ago and started working at The Last Drop. There was an influx of Spanish speaking people and Vander was desperately looking for a bilingual server
He hired you on the spot not caring how many years of experience you had
She basically became your unofficial body guard. Scaring of creeps that got to friendly while you were working
You taught her how to play dominos and you still ended up losing! You had to make her sorullitos (fired cornmeal sticks) for a month
She helps you give out food to the kids and homeless people around the Undercity. It breaks her heart seeing you cry over the people that suffer thanks to Piltover
After she lost her arm you took care of her. Making her cope with a new life change and the challenges that came with it
And you best believe you chewed her ear off about the whole Vander and Silco situation. Refusing to work for Silco and running your own food business to get by
There aren’t many South East Asians in the Undercity or in Piltover, and you bonded because of the lack of a community.
I think you guys talk a lot about the men in your life, how they treated both of you with violence. How toxic males can be thanks to your cultures never giving them consequences for there actions
Talking about how unworthy Sevika felt for just being born a woman, and a queer woman at that. How she finally broke away from all the stereotypes and became a force to be reckoned with after the death of her father
You heal each others soul wounds by embracing the best of your heritage 
She knows all the Indian beauty secrets! She is the one that washes and oils your hair. Saying that “you don’t know how to take care your hair”
“Sevika, I feel like my scalp is about to start bleeding!” You wiggled away as the scalp massager dug into the sensitive parts of your head
“That means it’s working! Stop being a baby.” She poured more warm oil on your head and ignored your whining
She just wants to do something nice for you and loves your reaction as you see how long your hair as gotten since getting together
A lot of the spices that you both use for your cooking it basically nonexistent in the underground
And if they sell them, they go for an arm and a leg (hahaha amputation joke)
So Sevika makes sure that she puts special orders in the smuggling catalog for all the spices, herbs and produce that you both need to make delicious meals
You put her on to tropical fruits. From the massive avocados to the sweet and sour passion fruits
“So when I’m getting a taste of your papaya?” She is a massive flirt.
Sevika’s love language is making you a cup of chai every morning
She is mostly vegetarian, only occasionally eating meat. So her favorite food that you make is also a labor of love
So I just know she loves the pasteles you make. They literally take you a whole day to prepare. From cooking the pork or chicken, toasting the banana leaves on the stove, grading the plantains, making the red oil, and wrapping them up to look like a present
It was the holiday season and you sold almost 30 preorders of your 12 count pasteles. Making big bank, but losing your peace filling all these orders in time for Christmas Eve
She says that she will “help” but she stands leaning on the counter as you fold the banana leaves in place as she munches on plantain chips
Sevika thought you were the sexiest at home in your batas (old lady dresses or muumuus). She could clearly see the outline of your body thanks to the sheer fabric. Especially liking how your nipples got hard in the cold air and the fat mound of your hairy pussy when you didn’t wear panties with the nightgown
With a frustrated look on your face when the leaf doesn’t want to work with you
Cursing under your breath “Hijo de puta— yo te digo…” (“Son of a bitch— I’m telling you…”)
“You look so sexy when you’re frustrated, mamí…” Sevika cradled your hips from behind. Kissing the curve of your nec
“Was helping me all bullshit Sevika?”
“You forget that I only have one arm left?” She said patting her empty shoulder. Smirking at your eye roll
You weren’t amused at all at her joke. “Haha, very funny…”
“But I have other ways to help you at least…” Her hand slowly creeping under your dress strap
“Like what?” You questioned her, eyebrows raised
Sevika was in between your legs as you made the last batch of pasteles for the night
Nightgown discarded on the floor
Sucking on your clit each time you finished folding a pastel. Slowly pulling it away from her mouth and letting it go with a pop. Her two middle fingers thrusting in and out of your entrance
She watched from the kitchen floor as your breasts heaved at every lick of her tongue. Biting your outer lips when you didn’t fold the leaves fast enough
“¡Comeme la tota así mismoooo!” (Eat my pussy just like thatttt!) You made those pasteles as if you were on steroids
Her nose pressed against your mound breathing the smell of your cunt. The smell of a grown woman was intoxicating to her.
Sevika speed up her fingers and tongue, you wanted to come undone. But pushed through the last of them
Your hands braced the counter as your orgasm took over. Raising one of your legs of the ground so Sevika could drink your release fully. She groaned at the taste, vibrations sending heat through your overstimulated body
You sucked a breath, peering down your bottom half. Sevika resting her head on your inner thigh, sucking purple marks on your flesh. Jaw coated in your silk. Grey eyes drinking in your dazed face
“I believe I was more than enough help. Don’t you agree, muñeca (doll)?” She gave you clit a little kiss, pleasure running up your spine
“Eres terrible, ‘Vika—” (you’re terrible, ‘Vika—) you let out breathlessly. Ruining your fingers through her short hair
She took her fingers out of your pussy, and you leaned down to taste yourself on her. Indulging in the salty sweet flavor of your bodies. Lapping her fingers clean and then kissing Sevika. Her lips push against yours
“Mmm my compliments to the chef.” You had more than one good fuck that night on the floor with Sevika
Who knew that pasteles were such an aphrodisiac?
If they ask you why these were so delicious you just smile shyly and say: “I just put a little extra love (orgasm) into them.”
Vander
As a bartender he absolutely was inspired to make a cocktail menu for you. Makes you his official taste tester for any new drink he plans to put in the menu
You owned a small food stand in the Underground ever since he was working in the mines
And it was always packed with people in and out of work
You got together shortly after Vander stopped your shop from getting mugged by some punks
Vander is a coffee lover and always makes it a routine to get up early in the mornings just so that he can have a hot cup of Puerto Rican joe with fresh butter and bread on the side
Thankful that you always feed his kids when he doesn’t have time to cook for them, and free at charge with at that
But he always sneaks more than enough coin into your tip jar when he visits you after a rough day
“Does Vander ever feed you guys at all?” You asked serving another customer
“He does but he burns everything he cooks—” Vi said licking her fingers clean from the delicious poultry you made
“Can I have another piece of chicken, tití (auntie)?” Powder said holding her empty plate at you, big eyes looking at you with love. Mouth covered in red sauce
“Con esos ojitos (with those little eyes) who can say no to you Pow-Pow!”
Yes his kids call you auntie and I’ll take that to the grave!
Whenever you call him “Hound” he blushes! And you make fun of him a lot for it as well. Calling him a dog as you catch him looking at your ass as you bend over to get plates and watching your tits jiggle as you make your fresh pressed juices.
Coquito (coconut eggnog) is his all time favorite drink, second to guarapo (sugar cane juice). And when you gave him a shot to try it solidifies his want to open a bar so he can make delicious drinks like this
When it’s the holidays Vander lets you have parrandas (live Puerto Rican music parade) at the bar. You introduced him to el guiro (a type of musical instrument) and la pandereta (small hand drum). And he plays them really well!
“Maybe those big hands are not just useful for punching things, huh Vander?” You played along side him as you watched the kids for a dance circle. Chuckling at Powder’s lack of feet coordination as she stepped on Mylo’s toes
“I will have to show you sometime. You will certainly be surprised, love.” You blushed, quickly going over the other musicians to sing your part of the chorus. You felt his eyes on you the whole time, loving the attention he gave you
The kids went to sleep as midnight approached. The adults enjoying their late drinking. Vander was leaning against the bar as you danced with Sevika. Watching you teach her the basics of bachata so that she could impress the girl she was pinning for
“You’re not so bad at this, Sevika!” She twirled you around
“Na, I’m better at the cards than all of this.” Sevika said, still looking at your feet as you guided her steps
In the corner of your eye you saw this other girl go up to Vander. You didn’t hear what they were thanks to the loud music. But you saw him shaking his head “no”. The girl turned around annoyed, flicking her wrist at him as dismissing a dog. Wishing her eyes found a brain in the back for her skull as she rolled them. You thought she finally back off. But you were wrong…
She pressed her ass against the front of his pants, shaking her flat flabby ass. Vander choking in his drink in pure shock. Trying to push the girl away
Before Sevika could stop you, you were already across the other side of the bar. Fist clenched, Vander making brief eye contact with you. His eyes widened at your wrath. Uh oh…
“¡Èl dijo que no jodia puta! ¡Te voy a romper la cara!” (He said no you fucking whore! I’m going to break your face in!) Grabbing her hair by the root and dragging her off to the bar floor. Her screaming and sinking her nails on your forearms, drawing blood. You screamed at her attach
You hear people cheer and yell at you to: “teach her to not touch anyone’s man again”.
Throwing your body weight back and making her crash into the round tables. Before the girl could even process the pain you straddled her stomach and punched her face in. The alcohol in your system making you rabid
“Love, that’s enough!” Vander pulled your fingers off the girls body. You were thrashing against his hold. Sevika hoisted the other woman taking her out of the bar.
“Everyone, out!” Vander yelled. You watched bodies move with blurry eyes. You still thirsty for blood.
“¡Déjame! (Let go!) ! Ugh, Vander!” He threw you over his shoulder. You punching his muscular back for him to let you go. He took you into the supply closet behind the bar. Dropping your feet on the floor.
“Let me out Vander! She is not getting off that easy for touch you like that!”
You wobbled like a new born fawn, holding the shelves for support. Vander locked the door and turned on the dim light abode your heads.
“Sit your ass down! I’m not tellin’ you twice…” Vander warned, pointing at the large empty barrel. You stared him down on your tippy toes. Blue eyes piercing yours.
“You really want to go there, sweetheart?” He crossed his arms over his broad chest. Getting close enough to smell the whiskey and smoke on his breath. The smell of your man
You wanted those hands around your throat. You wanted him to fuck the brat out of you. Your fight for dominance was short lived
“Fine.” You caved in and sat down with an annoyed plop. Grumbling at him with your arms crossed
God, did you love the control he had over you. You loved a man that put you in your place, while still being caring and loyal
Vander turned his back to you while looking for the first aid kit. Admiring the thickness of his body. And those pants that made his ass and legs look so delectable
“If I wouldn’t have stopped you, you’ll be heading to Stillwater by the end of the night.” Vander stood in front of you, raising your head to meet his warm gaze
“I’m sorry—” You whispered as your eyes became teary
“Christ, love! You would have killed her!” He lifted your arms to see the damage. Cleaning your wounds with alcohol. You hissed at the burn. Vander slowly wrapping your forearms with white gauze
“I’ve never seen you act like that before—” Breaking the silence. “I didn’t think a lady such as yourself could be so violent, so jealous…”
Vander would never admit that he loved what you did to that girl. How sexy you were while beating the shit out of a stranger just for him. It made him feel loved in a fucked up way
He lifted your bandaged arms to his lips. Breathing the scent of your wounds
“Tell me, love. Are all Puerto Rican women like that?” He asked innocently, looking at your face with curiosity
“I’m not just a jealous woman, Vander… I’m going to tell you a little secret about us puertorriqueñas.” You said stroking his bearded cheek. “We are territorial. And we fight for what is ours, even if it means that I have to fucking sink my teeth into any whore that touches mi hombre (my man)” You said between your gritted teeth, pulling Vander towards you. Tongue sinking into his mouth tasting faint of whiskey
You pulled his belt, harshly tugging it open. Feeling his hard cock through the fabric. God, did you want to get that whore’s smell of him. Replace it with the scent of your cunt
“You are mine, Vander. And I am yours.”
His eyes dialed, pants ever so uncomfortable. Vander launched at you, lifting you by your legs and kissing your lips. Your back gently hitting against the liquor shelves
He quickly discarded your bottoms, you gave his length a few pumps then lined it up against your cunt. You could never get bored of the sight of his cock, or the hot stretch it gave you
“Choke me, Vander!” You yelled, pussy filled with him. His hand was placed in your neck in a moment. Fingers pressing your pulse points.
Vanders thrusting was meet with the sounds of clinking bottle and the rattling of the shelves. He was a beast, slapping your entrance at full force as moans were caught on your airway. Velvety walls sucking him in. Heavy balls knocking against the push of your cheeks.
“I’m gonna cum, lovie—” He let go of the hold on your throat. “Where do you want it?”
“In my mouth!” Vander dismounted you. Cock glossy from the slick of your pussy
You kneeled on the ground, fingers fucking your pussy. Taking that big veiny dick in one go, slurping your combined juices as his tip hit the back of your throat. Vander’s hand resting in your hair. Your other hand massaging his balls
Vander came with a grunt, back of his head hitting the wooden shelves. Gasping in surprise as it coated your mouth. He was going to need ice for that later, you thought, enjoying the creaminess of his cum
Sticking your tongue out to show him his release. Then moaning as you swallowed it
“You dirty girl.” Biting your lip as he cursed at your seduction
“My dirty dog.”
You licked his cock clean. Pulling his foreskin in between your lips. Kissing it all around and making out with his tip slit. You nibbled at his shaft, using a bit of teeth to draw gasps from Vander
You brought your mouth to his pubic bone. Biting his skin, hard enough to leave marks. And leaving hickeys on his stomach
Loving how your food left some extra pounds on him. Making his tummy all the more squishy and soft
“You’re eating me alive, love—” You giggled on his skin, slowly stroking his spent cock. “Mark your territory, mi loba (my she-wolf).”
“Con placer…” (With pleasure…) You gave his cock a final kiss. Long lasting, a little red bruise at the side of his shaft. Moaning at your work, eyes sparkling up at him
Vander helped you off your knees, and leaned you against his chest. You rested there for a while, calming down for your sex crazed high
“Do you want me to make you a passion fruit mock-tail, darlin’?” Vander rasped, hand soothing the pulse of your throat 
“Yesss please, and with extra—” Vander shushed you with a kiss
“And with extra ice and pineapple pieces. I know, amor (love), I know.” He pecked your forehead
#arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane x reader#jayce x reader#sevika#vander arcane#jayce talis#vi x reader#viktor league of legends#viktor x reader#vander x reader#ekko x reader#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn x reader#mel medarda#mel medarda x reader#sevika x reader#ekko arcane#ekko x fem reader#puerto rican#puerto rican reader
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Hi! could you possibly write something about a fuckboy!soap and shy!reader that he uses for sex, and she keeps letting him? im craving angsty angst ANGST that just keeps hurting…you don’t have to if you don’t want to and thank you if you do! Have a great day!
Okay, one thing you all should know about me? Is that I’m a weenie lol so I can’t help but make things a little hopeful most of the time. Also— gonna make this like a college type AU
Soap clocks you from a mile away when he sees you at a party. There’s a cup of beer in your hand that you’ve been nursing, just sipping to have something to do while you cling to the side of the friend who forced you to come.
He’s seen you in his classes before. You’re good. Not the type to be seen in a place like this. And that kinda whets his appetite. He wants to fuck you, break you, make you fall apart for his own amusement.
He nudges Gaz— they have the routine down to a science— splitting up the birdies that are a little too huddled together so they can have their way with them. Gaz runs interference this time, Johnny mouthing an “I owe ye” his way— chatting up and pulling your friend away to talk a bit more. You’re alone now, and Johnny swoops in, weaving through people on a warpath.
He corners you expertly, and you’re a pathetically easy read. Easy to tease, to coax, to push. He just has to throw in a few lines about how pretty you look, peppered between him saying he’s always wanted to talk with you, always admired you in class— he gives just enough detail to lull you into thinking this is courting. That he’s going to fuck you because he likes you.
Works like a charm. Always does. You clumsily follow him to his room—“Ye didnae ken? This is my fraternity’s house, bonnie,”— as he pulls you along by the hand.
He enjoys pulling you apart. Like the birds taking Prometheus’s liver. He’s not a complete animal, he makes you cum, but he doesn’t give you kisses the way you’d probably hoped he would. He’ll tell his mates later— it was kinda cute how fucking bad you were at giving head, too.
He lets you stay the night even though your clinging is a bit annoying. Pushing you out would burn this bridge, and he’s not ready to do that just yet. Not when he could keep having fun.
Come morning your clothes are tossed your way (sans panties, those are going in his trophy collection), and he has the decency to drop you off at your place with the promise of further contact.
Come your next class, he’s back to acting like he doesn’t know you. You’re shy, but you’re not stupid. It’s easy to see that you were played, and you curse yourself for falling into it.
So why do you show up when he texts you, asking you to come over?
Promethean indeed.
And it keeps happening.
It’s not like he treats you badly— that’s what you tell yourself. You’re just the idiot for expecting more than orgasms. It’s nice to feel wanted. It’s not nice to put your clothes on and get out right after, but you’re willing to ignore that. You shouldn’t be. But you are.
You’re not the kind of girl who gets asked out. So why refuse the one source of attention you have? He makes you cum, right? That’s more than a lot of guys do, so it would be unfair to expect more. High maintenance. Right?
If Johnny can see the hurt behind your eyes when you turn to check behind you when you leave, as if he’ll suddenly change his mind and call you back into bed to hold you, he doesn’t do anything about it. He’s content to tug on his jeans and brush past you with a cigarette in his mouth.
You steel yourself as usual, double checking the straightness of your clothes as if it’ll make you feel like less of a cheap whore when his housemates glance your way as you leave.
The door across from Johnny’s is almost always open, despite how closed off its occupant seems. You’ve never met Simon. Well, you really haven’t met anyone in Soap’s life. That’s not what he keeps you for, is it? Fucktoys don’t get introduced to the friend group. Doesn’t stop Simon from staring holes in your back every time you leave. Must think you’re easy. Must wonder if Johnny’ll mind if he has a go. Or maybe he just thinks you’re pathetic. You certainly do.
But it’s happened one too many times. Apparently, even a worm will turn. His stare itches and crawls up your skin when you already feel like such a piece of meat— chewed up and spit out. And you must be losing flavor. Before long you won’t even have this. You turn to look at him instead of walking on as usual.
“What the fuck are you looking at?” You spit in a tone that surprises you. You’ve never said anything like that to someone, not in earnest, anyway.
“Lemme take y’out somewhere.”
What?
What?
#writing#cod fanfic#cod#soap x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#john soap mctavish x reader#johnny mactavish#john soap mctavish x you#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#college au#Promethean
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Nanami x ftm reader thoughts~! ૮꒰ྀི ෆ ˃̣̣̥ ⤙ ˂̣̣̥ ෆ ꒱ྀིა
Tags: pure NSFW, vaginal creampies, slight breeding, eating out, Afab on Amab sex, office sex, under the desk blow jobs, slight degrading <33
A/N: I’ve been doin a’ lotta Amab reader works s’ I figured I’d feed m’ trans sweethearts too !
Taglist: @asher-is-hotxp @yyuinaa @silvern1006 @kimisbunny @unstab1eperson2
Just thinkin bout sextin Nami while he’s at work, sending pics of you in his fav pair of lacy panties with the frills around your pretty thighs, him responding with a message tellin you to “knock it off, I can’t afford a hard on right now [name]” but you just won’t listen will you?…oh how you could practically hear his teeth gritting and that vein bulging on his forehead when he’s all irritated…oh god you’re wet at the thought- did you just send him a pic of that? oops.
Just thinking bout Nanami comin home from a long day of work, his cock is all hard and he’s pent up from those skimpy pictures of yourself but he doesn’t touch you, he walks in the room only to look at you N’ take his tie off along with his coat before walkin off to his study in the house, he leaves you so pent up and desperate that you have’Ta beg him to even let him permit you to give a blow job before he even considers fuckin your needy cunt. Nami just grumbled on about “you want your pussy fucked then earn it— apologize for teasing me at work” he’d leave you sobbing and whining out apologies around his dick.
Just thinkin bout Nami being totally cruel with your pussy, he fucks you bent over his desk raw, his hips slap your ass cheeks flushed Nd’ he just croons you on talkin bout “y’know it deserves it for bein so greedy— if it wasn’t so needy then maybe you’d listen more” he’d talk and have full on conversations with your cunt while his tip pulses against your womb leaving a throbbing feeling between your thighs, he’s the type of man to dirty talk your cunt like you aren’t even in the room, Nanami forces his loads inside you, he may seem so tame N’ cold but his seed is your punishment. Nami makes you feel his load inside your swollen insides all day leaving you feeling bloated N’ sick.
Just thinkin bout Nanami’s idea of affections, if he’s a little too rough with your pussy he’ll be all affectionate with it by peppering kisses on your clit while he jus massages your thighs and makes out with your lips whispering bout how he “didn’t mean to be so mean on his pretty baby” Nanami is either a sweet talker or he’s cruel. Nami is vanilla with sex he’s a man with old ideals and old fashioned morals so oral and penetration is all he does unless you wanted to try something new, Nanami may be rough and fuck you hard but he doesn’t have a lot of other kinks besides that and maybe if you ever get him to admit it he does wanna see you all knocked up by him.
Just thinking bout you and Nami being together for a real long time. You two have been together long enough that kids have been mentioned, you’re in the middle of getting your insides wrecked by his cock and you already have two loads pumped inside you and all nami can do is heave in your ear “wanna give you my kids— I wanna knock this pretty pussy up-“ his platinum hair is a mess and his hand is wrapped around under your thigh lazily rubbing your clit while he fucks your pussy loose and has your puffy petals all wrapped wide around his girth making your labia look extra swollen from his cock.
Just thinking bout Nami biting your breasts at night when your binder is off, he knows your tits are all sensitive and your nipples are puffy but his if he doesn’t love to drool and make out with them like he does your pussy, if he’s lucky and you feel like it he loves squishing your tits together with his cock between them makin you open your mouth and stick that pretty little tongue out…he loves watching your nose scrunch at the tender feeling of the boob job you were giving him, his tip pressing to your tongue with every thrust makin you taste his precum before he strokes his cock at the end and finishes with his cum getting all over your mouth and chin, shooting down on York breasts leaving you a sticky mess while he grunts out “there’s a pretty boy”
#sleep-0-deprived#sleep 0 deprived#nanami x male reader#nanami smut#jjk nanami#x ftm reader#ftm reader#jjk x ftm reader#x afab reader#afab reader#afab transmasc#x male reader#x male reader smut#bottom male reader#sub male reader#gay mlm#mlm ns/fw#x trans male reader#transmasc#x transmasc reader#afab nsft#jujutsu nanami#nanami x you#nanami kento#nanami kento x male reader#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento jjk#jujustu kaisen x male reader#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jjk headcanons
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Yeah, this says it so fucking well.
I have some big feelings about this entire thing. As a trans man, and as someone who was raised in a very gendered parenting heavy culture.
As much as my mom claims to not care about gender stereotypes, there's so many things she's said or done or expected from me, that she expected to see, that she prepared to see in her growing Girl Child, that she never got. And it shocked and annoyed her every time, because I wasn't following the Rules TM.
And my dad was always the type to keep his opinions to himself, but it's clear to see that he's always been a very firm believer in gender roles and stereotypes.
This created a very awkward environment for my brother and I. My brother who liked sewing and crocheting and origami, who hated the fixing and yard work that dad expected him to learn how to do. My brother who's now teaching himself how to cook, who buys himself cookbooks, because my parents never took the time to teach him anything besides how to turn on a grill.
And then me, who was dragged to knitting circles by my mom and grandma, who said, "it's good for you to learn a craft" but ignored all my interest in other things, because clearly those aren't Real Interests. Me who learned anyways, and then taught my little brother, because he wanted to be involved but was never brought with. Me who learned chess so I could play with my dad, who always said no, not today, but was always disappointed when my bro showed no interest. Me who borrowed my dad's sword art books, and his castle books, and toddled after him to his fencing clubs and through the hardware store and into his work shed to see what he was doing, who listened for hours when he'd tell me about medieval culture and building techniques and weapons and armor and knights, who watched all of the documentaries with him long after mom and my little bro got bored and wandered off to do other things.
And my dumbass parents were surprised that I named myself after a knight from arthurian legend when I came out as trans.
And at the same time, while my brother is teaching himself how to sew and how to cook and is making crafts and knitting, because he enjoys those things, they ask, "why didn't you tell us you wanted to learn?" and we both just sit there and share a look, because really? Where have you even been? Were you paying attention at all while you were raising us, or were you just on autopilot for 18 years?
I mean, yeah, there are still things we like that belong in the Assigned Gender Category. My bro likes his tools, and he's always been proud of his skill with computers and videogames. And I do like crocheting, and cooking, and makeup, now that i've found my own way of doing it. But those aren't things we like because we're supposed to like them. Those are just things we like.
But I think I figured out why I hated pink and purple so much as a kid. When every birthday and christmas present you get is the same color that you've never shown interest in before, and when everything in your room is the same bright happy shade of Something Someone Else Likes, you tend to cringe at the sight of it.
Gendered parenting is so weird. As a little kid I was a total daddy's girl, I was told I would always try to sneak into the garage, I was always very interested in everything he was doing and would follow him around while he was working, but while my family was never the type to outright say "you can't do that because you're a girl", they simply didn't entertain the idea that I could possibly be interested in cars. Then when my little brother was born, it was just assumed he would become a mechanic like our dad because he was a boy. Even though he, unlike me, didn't like being in the garage much and wasn't all that interested in what dad was doing. Once he got to a certain age, dad started making him help and would drag him away from his actual interests for it, which lead to a lot of arguing and not much actual learning.
Gendered expectations sort of create doubles of children. There's the real child with their actual personality, interests and behaviors, and then there's the Gender Child.
My real brother hated soccer and team sports. The Gender Child that existed only the minds of the adults in his life needed to play soccer because that's what a Boy Child does.
Growing up, I always felt like adults didn't actually know me as a person and they weren't interested in getting to know me. Because they felt they'd already learned everything there was to know about me when they were told "it's a girl".
When I talk about how I never got gifts I actually liked from my relatives (to this day I still don't like getting gifts that aren't something I picked out myself), it isn't actually about the gifts themselves. I don't even remember them. What I do remember is the feeling of being given gifts that were seemingly not bought with the real me in mind. They were for the Girl Child™️ version of me. The me that adults wanted me to be, not who I actually was.
#i usually put my stuff in tags but this one was kinda long#felt like it should go in the big text area instead of the small text area
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