#I have a nice amount of pokemon plushies but I only really care about my chandelure plush

[my-mom-named-me-duck]

my sweet lil baby

[fumifooms]

The Penny x Atticus agenda was furthered in the post game and I’m so happy. I’m making this rarepair from my own two hands screenshotting every second of interaction and smashing my keyboard if I have to! 

Until someone else finds a better name or something, I’ll call this ship SewnEevee shipping! Since Penny clearly has a fondness for eevee and wears that big plush backpack of hers, and one of Atticus’ main interest is sewing and clothes! You could make really cute headcanons with that too, hehe

Now, the whole “my greatest treasure” is a very obvious and intense profession of affection, but that’s with whole team Star, so. Why do I ship these two in particular? Easy, just look at the screenshots! Atticus has this formal and old-fashioned way of speaking and uses titles frequently, but lordship titles? If I’m not mistaken she’s the only person he uses lord and lady with, and it’s not a one time nickname either; he uses it for her thrice (the only times he adresses her while knowing her identity in the whole game) which suggests it is the way he’ll be referring to her from then on. Idk about you but it sounds very flattering and romantic to me, it’s not don or comrade or such else- she’s special in the way he adresses people. It’s not exactly a term for equals like comrade is, nor shows some hierarchy like calling her boss, it’s truly an honorific. And then, the first thing he says to her after discovering her identity is “you’re pretty m’lady”, like, everyone else is like, normal greetings or “wow it’s nice seeing you” (you can see the lines here) but him? He goes the extra mile to say her appearance/presence is pleasing or rejuvenating or whatever. It stood out so much in the moment I immediately started shipping them lol. Also “oh noble and kind big boss” to me sounds like an even larger amount of simping than the others’ way of talking about Cassiopeia too lol. On the other hand, you could say that Penny has an equal amount of affection and care for every team Star member, and that that affection is of the same nature for every one, but!! See the post game interaction there??! Indeed, brethren, thy eyes are not mistaken. She worries for him most!! You could say that’s not necessarily a good thing and you’d be right, but it does mean she has him on the brain and in a way she cares for him most/in a special way compared to the others. But ho, ho-ho oh no that is not all, for!!!!! She calls him handsome too!!!!!! She’s so shocked she jumps back and goes “no, focus!! He might get hurt stop looking at his pretty eyelashes!!”. Mate do you know how often they call characters pretty in Pokemon? Once in a red moon. In this game, it’s Rika, Tulip and then Atticus. Like, wow ok. They be crushing on each other highkey. I’m honestly shook at how high of a level they made it canon. Also! Penny gets three post custscenes with the other team star members, one is with Giacomo and Ortega, one with Mela and Eri, and the other one is with Atticus alone! Team Star has 5 members (Penny excluded) so of course they were going to need to cut it uneven, but still, Atticus is the one given more or less more importance here! Also!!! Atticus is the only one she doesn’t have a nickname for, she calls him by his full name!! Coincidence??! I think not! Omfg guys she breaks her nickname convention for him and he calls her his lady they’re so special to each other…

I just think they’d be good for each other, and cute together! Atticus obviously thinks highly of her and I can’t see why they wouldn’t get along swimmingly well when hanging out, especially if they share an interest like say plushies (and Penny could pirate animes for him for free and they could watch them together <3 because!! It’s mentioned that Penny likes binging them and Atticus is obvi into it, Naruto stan lol). They’re both introverted and are somewhat quiet, esp for Penny she’d enjoy his gentle and composed countenance more than the rowdier characters (which is canon esp if you look at the time they spent in Area Zero), and man. He’s so honest and direct and I think that she’d appreciate that a lot, seeming pretty blunt and no-nonsense herself. Also, he’s very capable of and confident about standing for himself and his friends, so I think once she realizes that more it’d ease her anxiety a bit. Atticus is just so gentlemanly and it’s highkey charming and idk she’s already a bit 😳 about him it wouldn’t take her much to full on pine imo. I wanna finish by saying: Some would call her judgy and mean for being worried for him bc he has an unconventional demeanor (and appearance) but I wanna reiterate that this is out of care and trauma from having been bullied herself: it’s being realistic, and she’s otherwise never shown any reluctance or dislike of his interests in the least so, there ain’t an argument to make here imo. Plus it literally got addressed and she set out to better herself on it, so.

[violettedoragon]

Today at the Nutritionist and a backstory

Okay...today, September 10th, 2018. I visited the nutritionist for the 2nd time since initialing meeting her for the first time. When she first weighed me, on August 20th, I was 221 pounds. Definitely not great for a person of my height. Today I was feeling confident and proud that I had drastically changed my eating habits and was pretty much exercising every day for at least 30 mins. Guess what? Even though I went on vacation and my food options were limited and all I drank was water, it made a HUGE difference. Today, I weighed in at 213 pounds. That was about what I was expecting. That made me super happy.

Why had I let myself get so huge? Well the answer to that is a long one, but I’ll try to shorten it. So in college I was pretty much a nice 140 to 150 pounds, and that’s good. After nearly failing out of the first university, I was forced to live back with my parents and complete an Associate Degree in Fine Arts and get on with what I wanted to do with life. Problem was, I wanted to go further with a degree and have proper support from friends and family. I had trouble making local friends, so I turned to communities online. Mostly video game nerds, because I feel most comfortable around dudes and blended in well. I also didn’t want to be in a rut of being stuck at my parent’s house for the rest of my life, so after I met my current husband, boy that was something different. He was friendly, supportive, and had a kind and gentle soul. It was nice when I did visit him in person for the first couple of times, because even though he was still living with his parents, I thought he could strive for a better and more independent life without them. He could, but there were flaws.  His mother is a super worrywart. Heck, I didn’t even know someone could be that protective of her only “broken” child. He was her only baby, and if anyone messed with him, she defended him. Okay I get that, but why still defend him from the person he chose to marry himself? That’s strange. Trust issues? Who knows. All I know is that I thought things would be better once (when I did move in with my husband) we moved out of his parent’s house. I hoped it would be changing and that my husband (at the time, only fiance) and he would strive to be more of his own person once he left. He was, but...it was a little different than I hoped. Without his parents restricting what he wanted to buy he bought all he wanted and more. Video games, Pokemon cards, plushies, whatever caught his eye he wanted it. It’s fine that he wanted my approval, but what was going to put a limit on certain things. Unfortunately, I found myself in a weird situation. He wanted certain things for himself, sure, but any adult decisions that were not work related were ultimately up to me. How would I clean and maintain a clean apartment? What would my next job be? What can I sell to get a little more money? Do we need groceries? When does my husband get home? Do I have enough time to do everything? What’s dinner? Have I fed the cats? Did I take my meds?  Worrying about so much responsibly I often let it build up so much or fester that I either didn’t want to do any responsibility at the time and just escape into video games, or I did minimal to help my husband, my friends, and just barely enough to feel like I was somewhat useful around the house. And I only ate what I felt like, when I felt like I needed to. This led to consuming a lot of snack like food and sometimes skipping important meals. I had no self control because I didn’t feel like my life could be controlled well.  But here’s the big question in all this. When did I have time to take care of myself? I had so much responsibility for things happening around me that I couldn’t take care of the one thing that was supposed to matter the most: myself. It was hell. I skipped yearly checkups, only got things I needed when they were needed, and really felt like school and other things were either never going to happen for me or pass me by that I would have to stick with retail jobs for the rest of my life. Also...where was my support in this? Whenever I did the escape into video games, I got scolded for doing so. (My friends didn’t mind because I helped some of them by distracting them from whatever demons or things were hard in their life) and I still get scolded by my husband for not helping out enough in the there and now. I got a small amount of praise for doing things for others and my husband...when he was in a good enough mood from work I guess. It wasn’t enough. I didn’t feel terribly fulfilled. I always felt I needed more encouragement and support than what i felt I was getting. I gave so much of my time and effort into helping others that taking care of myself never was a high priority. You would think my husband gave me encouragement, which he did, but could he still be independent by himself? The answer was no. I was still more of a “Mom” to him than a partner. I almost fell into that hole until I finally landed a job for myself. I got great praise initially, but then it was still bad at home. The stress of then working 35 to 40 hours a week and still barely getting help at home was mentally draining. I did not like it.  Anyway...I know I missed some points here...but I’m really tired. All I know is it’s way better now. I’m alive again and am getting a bunch of support from....well...my brother. Not my real life brother who lives back in Houston, but my friend who acts like a big brother to me. He’s more than that. He’s my safe place. A warm, confident, caring, loving human being who thinks he’s “broken but really isn’t. He was my escort to the nutritionist today and he gave his observations along with my own, and provided great feedback with what progress I made. I own so much to him... it’s really nice. By the way, I wish my husband was that accepting of my choices that I make for myself but he really isn’t totally on board. The nutritionist saw that my big bro was the main source of me starting on the correct path to better myself, and I have never felt so self-driven for over 12 years. So...thank you...for reading this and understanding that my story isn’t done, but it is a difficult one. I used food to escape from being hurt and pressured, but I really don’t want to anymore. I’m very important to me, and I want to live for me. I have my amazing big brother to thank for that. He...saved me from slowly eating myself away. Thank you, bro. Thank you so much!  If you want to hear some of more of the story...I’m sure my big brother, @deaconrayne could tell you more about what he saw/sees. Thank you so much. <3

@deaconrayne

[aureus-ignis]

When I was young, I fell in love with the Pokemon series. I loved the RBY and GSC games, I watched the anime on TV every weekend, bought the movies, played the TCG, and collected the PokeSpe manga zealously. But as the years went by, the newer Pokemon games failed to hold my interest, and I soon stopped following Pokemon entirely. Last year, the generation of Alola was announced, and after watching a few trailers, I found myself drawn to the music. The adorable Rowlet also caught my eye, and on top of that, it seemed like the story was going to be interesting. A conservation society full of nice people dressed in white that looked strangely sinister at times? Hell yesssss. So I decided to buy the game... and then I fell deeply in love. Once again I was in Pokemon heaven (or hell).

So when Mei asked me if there was any series we could cos together that'd be fun and simple to do, I suggested Gladion and Lillie, since their costumes are fairly simple (c o u g h). She agreed, and that was the beginning of it all.

I started working on stuff around mid-June this year. People who know me know that accuracy is pretty high on my list of priorities, and I was determined to get the not-very-logical hair of Lillie and Gladion as good as I possibly could. Lillie's problem, of course, was the thickness. She has two insanely fat braids that had to be made up of almost all the hair on a normal human head, yet somehow still has a thick wide mane of loose hair behind her. So I had to spend time wefting as many extra rows of fibre into the wig, and then crafting removable bases for the braids from batting and more wefts.

Testing!

Batting base WIP HAHAHA

And the final result was worth it <3 <3

Next was Gladion. When it comes to the subject of pulled back hair, I've gotten to the point where I can ONLY accept lacefront. Anything else is too fake for me. For me, cosplay has always been about portraying the characters as if they were real, no matter how zany and strange their designs may be. I wanted the hair to look almost as though it grew on me. I ripped out almost the whole front to get rid of the fringe, and sewed in longer wefts, adjusting the direction of the hair to the left so that they would comb back naturally. Then ventilating hell began

Darkness, my old friend, we meet again. ;___; My hooking skills have improved since I first started ventilating, but it's still a long, tedious process. School started before I could finish, and I had to work on everything else too...

The realization that his uncut wig looks like Mercy from Overwatch HAHAHA

But as with Lillie, the final result was worth it <3 <3 <3

With regards to his costume, I'd actually had the hoodie and pants tailored because I ran out of time. I'd wanted just the base made so I can do the rest of the details myself, but the tailor forgot and did everything for me... and ended up messing up the accuracy. It was a disappointment, so much so that after STGCC was over, and we planned to have a shoot at the end of the year... I decided to remake everything from scratch. I'm terrible at patterning, really, and Gladion's biggest problem was THE STUPID GRAVITY DEFYING HOOD. Ultimately I couldn't get it to look exactly like the original (because I didn't want extra seams and all, but it was close enough. And the second time round, all of the holes were in the correct areas HAHAHA.

I'd made his first waistpouch myself, but for some reason, despite my careful measurements, the size turned out far too large the first time. So I had to remake the whole thing a second time. The hardest part is sewing the damn thing together, because I'd had to put two layers of hard inferfacing for each piece and sometimes the needle just wouldn't. Go. Through. OTL In version 2, I had more time, so I paid more attention to getting the shape accurate. The stupid thing tapers towards the bottom and has a curved side. Even more stupid, the strap goes from FAT TO THIN TO FAT for some reason. But I succeeded!

New VS Old

Next was the Z-ring. Gladion's official art doesn't have one, but he obviously wears one in-game. I felt that it was important, because Nanu gave it to him. So I had to dig out references from the game screenshots 8D;;

This is how a lot of my prop drafts look like. ALGEBRA IS MY FRIEND.

Also crafted the Z-crystal thanks to Pythagoras' theorem 8D; I used liquid quartz to glue the clear acrylic sheet together without leaving traces.

Final result! I'm pretty happy with it =>

Before STGCC, there was one more segment that I worked really hard on. After we'd decided to do SuMo together, I thought of making a Nebby plushie for Mei to carry. Yes, Pokemon Center had already released their Nebby plush by then, but... For one, it's smaller than life-size. For another, the shape looks more like a sunflower than a starry cloud. I didn't want it to look like Lillie was just carrying a toy; I wanted to give the impression that Mei had an adorable, soft, beautiful real-life Cosmog. But how on earth would someone with very terrible patterning skills make a 3D cloud plushie that could be dyed for Nebby's distinctive gradient colouring, and still be nice and soft to hug?

The answer is, I struggled.

Set up a spraying booth to airbrush the gradient on. Due to a problem with shipping, I couldn't get my compressor in time, so I ended up having to splurge on compressed air cans, which were horrendously expensive oTL.

BUT LOOK AT THE FINAL RESULT. LOOK AT HIM. <3 <3 <3

Let it also be known that I tested to make sure he could fit inside Mei's bag the moment I finished the base HAHAHAHAHAHAHA-----

So that was part 1 of Project Alola! We went to STGCC together and met lots of Pokemon fans (quite a lot of people were very happy to see Nebby, in particular XD), and Laki offered to come shoot with us as Moon since she already had the costume. We then planned to have our shoot at the end of the year during my holidays.

As mentioned, I'd already planned to remake my entire costume and waistpouch, but aside from that... I had the mad idea that I wanted to make a Silvally prop. It's something I'd considered for STGCC too, but I was really short on time then, and Mei told me to FINISH EVERYTHING ELSE FIRST THEN DO IT IF YOU HAVE TIME.

The problem is... Silvally's official size in the Pokedex is 2.4m. That's 80cm taller than myself. )o) Sure, I could scale him down, make a tiny lap plushie like all the other cosplayers, but what would be the point? Although I'd never cosplayed from the Pokemon series before, I'd always thought that if I were to do so, I'd want to make life-size Pokemon so that it'd look like I actually have a Pokemon partner, and not just a Pokemon toy. But I'd thought then that my projects would be starters like Pikachu or Charmander or Cyndaquil, or maybe one of the Eeveelutions. Not a giant horse-dog like Silvally ^^;;;

I had to consider the fact that my house isn't very big and I'd have barely any space to keep him. I had to consider how I'd be able to transport him, and how to construct him so that I could take him apart. I also had to consider the amount of money I'd be spending on him, because honestly, cosplay is not a cheap hobby. Materials in Singapore are especially expensive. As an unemployed student, I'd be splurging a lot if I decided to go ahead with this crazy project. When I told this to Mei during one of our dinners out, she suggested just making his head and taking halfbody shots so no one can tell that he has nobody. Like a hobby horse, except it's a hobby Silvally.

Good idea.

So when school finished, I started drafting him out, and the basic paper draft itself took like three giant sheets of patterning paper taped together HAHAHA.

The base

Honestly, even though I had an idea of how I'd make him, I wasn't completely sure if it would work. As I've said repeatedly I really, really suck at patterning. I can never seem to envision where to cut darts in a piece of EVA foam to get the shape I want, so half the time I was just taping drafting paper on and folding and taping excess parts off, then that that up for a trial-and-error pattern.

With paper mache and paper draft pattern for the mouth.

That's how large the whole thing is 8D'

Apart from the making of Silvally, I'd also spent time searching for reference pictures and sketching storyboard ideas for our shoot. I went to check out the our shoot location (Sentosa Island) a few weekends back, so that we could decide where exactly we wanted to shoot. In hindsight, there were a lot more shots I could have planned to bring out the personality of our characters more, but oh well ;w;

The shoot itself went pretty well, for the sun was quite kind to us, and hid under clouds for most of the day. Sei's working style is quite different from mine, but she was very gracious and did everything I asked of her. Sakami and Greg were wonderful helpers, and some of my best memories from the day include our hilarious videos, and the shenanigans with the Pokemon.

I've already thanked my wonderful team mates, helpers and photographer in another post, so I won't go into details here. But everyone was very kind and obliging, and listened to all my ambitious plans, allowing me to be a bossy director. I'm very, very grateful to all of them.  

So now, a bit of reflection on Silvally, and the whole project.

The patterns for Silvally weren't perfect, and I messed up a lot. The final result was definitely far from what I had hoped for. Most noticeably, the top of the head is bumpy holey because I ran out of gesso to fill and sand. But the proportions also came out a bit off, and the neck piece patterning failed on the right side. But when I finished painting... I felt very, very happy. I'd gotten some small bouts of joy when I finished each stage of the crafting process, when I looked at what I'd done, but looking at the final product was just.... incredible. It wasn't as beautiful as it could have been, and I still regret all the imperfections that are so obvious to my eyes, but....I was so excited. I couldn't wait for the shoot.

Perhaps it was partly because I hadn't really been sure if I'd be able to make things work, so the success tastes that much sweeter. Some of my friends had told me I was crazy. I kept asking myself if I were crazy. All that money and time and pain sunk into a project that I'm not even getting paid for, with a success rate that seemed really low. My mom telling me straight out that I was 'too ambitious'. Was it worth it? Would it have been better to make a smaller, much more perfect prop, than an actual sized, flawed one, with half the effort and money? Cosplay is already an indulgence, but had I crossed the line into foolish waste zone?

When I looked at my completed Silvally, the answer didn't hit me like Mjolnir. I still don't know if it was the right thing to do, or if I was an irresponsible child wasting the money that could have gone into feeding me better food.

But it made me happy. So happy. I nearly cried as I stood there for a few minutes staring at him. He was truly a labour of love. I spent hours spraying gesso and paint because I love Silvally. I spent days sanding until my arms want to fall off and my eyes are dying from dust because I love Gladion. I spent hours cortorted in weird positions with a paintbrush trying desperately to stay within the pencil lines, sweat dripping into my eyes, because I love this art. Sure, the process itself was often painful; I suffered multiple burns from hot glue and a hot iron and cut my fingers open way too many times. I still hate hand-sanding with a burning passion because it's tiring as hell and I get blisters on my oversensitive skin. But the thought that all of the suffering helps to build the final piece of art that I envision makes me grit my teeth and soldier on.

Cosplay is my art, something that I would put 500% of me into. Whether the crafting of insanely large props, or the preparations for the shoot, or the styling of my entire team's wigs, or the endless sewing adventures on plushies.

Because I love it.

[mysurveys]

Random Qs

Survey #16 on the Countdown to 2018!

What event did you last dress up for and who went with you?

I don't think I've dressed up for anything since the last funeral I attended with family members.

What was the last picture you took with your phone?

I don't own a cell phone nor do I take pictures lately although I want to start up a scrap journal using my Hello Kitty Instax Mini.

Are you a fashion-conscious person, and where do you buy most of your clothes?

I'm conscious of what fits well and looks nice on me, but I'm no fashionista. I'll buy geek and gamer tees from Walmart or JCPenney's and I tend to get my jeans at Catherines these days.

Do you have trouble waking up in the morning, and what gets you up and awake?

Sometimes it takes a while for me to become cognizant of the world around me. I usually lie in bed for a few minutes to get a good grasp on things first, but there are times when you just have to pee. Sometimes I wake up really alert, though.

What’s something fun you’ve done this week and who was there?

I had lunch with Mom at the Tokyo sushi bar near Central Mall before I went to my chiropractor appointment.

What’s the last thing you texted someone about?

When and why did you last blush?

No idea since I so rarely blush.

Do you currently have a favorite song and if so, what is it?

I can't choose just one so I'll do a current top five instead.

Return To Me from Winx Club: Beyond Believix.

Heathens by 21 Pilots.

The Words by Christina Perri.

Be My Forever by Christina Perri featuring Ed Sheeran.

I Believe by Christina Perri.

What's one thing you and your best friend have in common physically?

I've got six besties. Mom and I have a lot in common physically, including our big boobs. I don't feel that I have much of anything in common with any of the others, though.

Now based on your interests, what's one thing you both have in common?

Mom and I share very similar senses of humor along with Symon G. which means that we tend to like the same comedy shows and movies.

Sasuke and I both love fringe interests while Misty and I have less in common, but we both love Marvel and DC Comics characters.

I share a love of behavioral science with Mik V. who’s a psychotherapist while Makoto and I are such kinstones in most ways really.

What, if anything, is hanging on your refrigerator?

We have a large grocery checklist pad on the front along with a guide to paydays for one of my parents. I think it's got to do with Dad's retirement, but I never asked about it.

There are various magnets on the sides including one of a white tiger. It’s something I bought on one of our big camping road trips when I was a kid.

What's the last illegal thing you did even if it was a small crime?

Jaywalking probably.

How much did each individual thing you’re wearing cost?

Am I seriously supposed to commit the price tags of all my clothing to memory? ¯\_( °ﺑ° ")_/¯

Is that the normal amount you spend on clothes?

I don't know. I'm just wearing a set of PJs Mom bought me and they're from Walmart. Some things there are cheap and some are overpriced.

Do you collect anything or have you ever?

I currently collect some Funko items loosely. I also buy various Nintendo plushies of charries from Animal Crossing, Mario and Pokemon.

I'm especially collecting the plush Pokeballs from Tomy, though. I've also collected several Pokeball toys of a certain type and I've got the full set of Primal Rage action figures with recolors.

I'm not a very stringent collector. I don’t have many complete sets of things right now except for the Primal Rage action figures, all of the Tomy Eevee-olutions plushies, and all of the Animal Crossing Amiibo.

What languages do you speak?

I'm fluent in English and Japanese as a speaker, but I'm still learning so much about the written language of Japan.

Where do your grandparents live?

Only one of them is still alive and she lives near us in the same city of Nederland here in Texas.

When's the next time you’re going on vacation and where to?

I'm not sure. I've got two cats to take care of now, assuming Lucius reappears. He’s been MIA since ten AM last Monday.

If anything, I'd rather do day trips to new places and to revisit some sites such as Moody Gardens in Galveston or ones in Kemah such as the Boardwalk. I want to go to the Downtown Aquarium in Houston at some point as well along with other Houston sites.

How well do you do in school and how're your grades compared to your siblings?

I'm an only child and I haven't been in school for over a decade. It's irrelevant to me.

Does your family eat dinner together and who does the cooking?

We don't always synchronize our meals, but my mother does the majority of our family cooking.

Are you usually motivated to work or are you a procrastinator?

I put the pro in procrastinate, but it's usually regarding personal projects. I can get super motivated and into something for a time and then I'm suddenly distracted by something new and shiny.

Focusing can be really difficult for someone with Bipolar whether it concerns projects or just listening to someone else. I'm really good at listening, though.

Has the last month been really stressful for you?

It hasn't. In fact, it's been a lot better than last year's pain and suffering.

What do you base first impressions on?

A first impression deals with every detail about the person from their style of dress to their haircut to how attractive they are to you personally. It goes beyond your control into unconscious snap judgments, some of which you'll never be able to change.

The key is not to make conscious prejudgments and to disallow your first impression of someone to dictate your relationship to them any further than absolutely necessary.

People who're very open-minded like myself are able to do such things effortlessly. I score really high on the Openness factor from the Big Five’s OCEAN personality model.

Who do you know that's a vegetarian, or how about a vegan?

I don't personally know any of either beyond one of my first cousins, I think, but people are omnivorous for a reason. Your biology clearly shows what you should eat outside of special health cases.

Our bodies are designed to eat a balance of food groups including meats and vegetables. The main problems are what types of meat you consume.

The Bible also predicted the rise in vegan and vegetarian sentiments via the New Age movement along with a host of other surprising things.

It directs a Christian to partake of meats freely because only those weak in their faith will abstain, but it also says not to judge those Christians too harshly.

I'm personally strong in my faith and certain meats are some of the best things I can eat alongside veggies and fruits.

When's the last time you went out to dinner with a friend, where did you go and who paid?

I went out with Mom and Miss Cindy to the Outback restaurant for dinner a while back. Mom paid for the two of us, or so I believe. I had gone to the restroom while they were paying and we left as soon as I got back.