#I have SEEN a very visible shift in the way the general public behaves

[solvicrafts]

Between COVID, US politics, and Gaza, I've sure lost a lot of friends, acquaintances, and family members in such a short amount of time.

[threecirclingbuzzards]

Y'know, sometimes you just see three posts back-to-back and you gotta go make your own rant.

I swear the way people talk about all trans people, but in this instance I will be focusing on the language around transfems because it's my experience, has gotten noticeably worse, even in so-called "ally" or "positive" etc. spaces. And it fucking SUCKS.

Like we've seen so many attacks on the community lately, the political divide, and thus legal rights, getting worse for a LOT of us across the world, but especially America because y'all are a large vocal group in English spaces online [that's a separate thing I don't really want to get into how American politics have bled across the border and how that sucks but it has and it does.], and I feel like it may partially be because of how much worse things have been getting that what passes as "fine" has degraded? I mean I know some is the rampant ""infiltration"" of communities [read: blatant and not so blatant psyops] but I feel like a lot of it is also just general community tiredness and by extension "allies" with less-than-savoury internal biases toeing the line a LOT more.

Of course this is a lot about low-grade invalidation, dismissal, or fetishization, and the overlap of those attitudes within the fringes of trans spaces, it's a little hard to give concrete examples but it's everywhere, but I feel like there's also an immense feeling of a growing narrative of infantilization, and of an "obligation" to identify trans people, even in public, without recognition of the fucking danger of doing so? especially fucking now?

I feel like the easiest way to put it is that "allies" or whatever. "Liberals," "Tumblr users who act like they have radical politics," etc. seem to feel very comfortable acting as if binary trans women [notable distinction here] are fully just separate to, and I have to put it this way because it's the energy "real [cis] women," and the inverse for trans men, and I won't even get into how non-binary people are often treated as fully non-human. Like it's everywhere! It's a noticeable sentiment of how people behave I've seen! Like of course you misgender us offhand, you don't see us as we identify!

For the infantilization, I'll offhandedly mention that recent report that's really done a number in TERF circles, but even beyond that. Idk maybe it's a personal thing but the things I've read from purported allies in terms of say, acting like we're all 20-somethings with little agency and the money for hyper-feminine clothes and who are functionally femboys [this gets into the chaser shit but I'm gonna scoot past it.] in most respects is truly disgusting.

I also have a bone to pick with the recent term I've seen "clocky" which leaves such a bad taste in my mouth as 1. kind of an infantilizing way to say visibly trans, I don't care for it and it's used in phrases that do feel like the author is swapping out some variation on faggot or tranny, and 2. belies a shift in the "necessity" of identifying and acting upon that identification of trans people in public. Like that's not a safe move to make, and I feel presents a feeling of entitlement to trans women's bodies as they exist in public space? which is... entirely already the major issue with the anti-trans movement at present?

I love identifying with other trans people I meet, which means there is a necessity for public interaction and identification, but I feel like there's a shift in someone's transness being the SOLE MOTIVATOR to talk to someone to "show that you're one of the good ones." As if self-auditing and continuing to better yourself isn't enough, you need to be absolved of wrongdoing by the relevant minority. Fuck off. I'm just trying to get a damn sandwich. It can be dangerous to identify people in public spaces, both in the "this person in public is hanging around in a space, others may do heinous shit later with that gained knowledge" and in the "this person in public is around people they have to interact with long term, who may not be aware of their transness." I just hope we can sometimes leave recognition to a distance, or to discussions that DON'T act under solely trans contexts.

Solidarity to my fellow trans people, I love y'all. Life goes on. We will persist. Despite all the bullshit.

Sincerely, a very tired butch trans woman.