#I have 4 per year to choose from and STILL I remain the good person I am

[peaceeandcoolestvibes]

Listen,, I like men but I don’t care about them most of the time like I got shit to do lmao

[anghraine]

Fic author interview (meme)

I was tagged by @incognitajones! Thank you very much <3

1- How many works do you have on AO3?

222, though some are very closely interconnected.

2- What's your total AO3 word count?

1,193,545, says the AO3 statistics page!

o_O

3- What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

LOL, I had just automatically rearranged my stats graph to rank fics by kudos instead of hits. It's:

Season of Courtship (inevitably), a Darcy/Elizabeth canon-compliant engagement interquel I wrote as a teenager;

But Thou Didst Not Leave His Soul In Hell (always a pleasant surprise), a short AU in which Luke convinces Anakin/Vader to flee the Empire with him;

per ardua ad astra, a Rogue One+ANH Jyn/Cassian AU in which Jyn, Cassian, and Bodhi escape Scarif only to get trapped on the Death Star and forced to pass themselves off as Imperials;

we get dark, only to shine, a longggg yet unfinished AU of The Borgias in which Cesare and Lucrezia begin their affair during S1 instead of S3 (CW for canon sibling incest, murder, etc).

Contradictions and Varieties (baffling), a short Darcy/Elizabeth AU I wrote for a fest in which it takes them slightly longer to get together.

4- Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try, especially with fics I'm actively updating, but I'm always behind on it. I mostly just get distracted and forget.

5- What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Oh, interesting question! I don't write a lot of angsty endings, but there are a few options, and I think it probably would have to be the gift of men, a short (~1k) Fourth Age fic in which Eldarion goes along with a politically convenient marriage to one of Faramir and Éowyn's daughters, and falls in love with her, only for her to die of old age while Aragorn and Faramir are still alive and Eldarion remains young.

Honorable mentions: Set On This Path (Luke and Leia are brought up in the Empire + fusion with the story of the bloodbending brothers in B1 of Legend of Korra, complete with murder-suicide) and the last day (a chirpy epistolary fic that takes an abrupt turn after the genocidal attack that begins the Guild Wars games).

6- What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Um, just considering the ones that have endings, to be fair, and ... hmm, that's harder. A lot of happy endings! Probably the ones that are happiest for me, personally, are First Impressions (m!Elizabeth/f!Darcy re-telling of P&P) and whatever we deny or embrace (f!Cassian/Jyn).

7- Do you write crossovers?

Not often, but sometimes! Like now.

8- Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes! I've gotten hate more than once wrt Season of Courtship in various versions (even before it become so overwhelmingly the popular favorite of my fics). The rest has been on other fics and mostly on ff.net.

TBH the subtler stuff bothers me more than outright hate (corrections based on adaptations or fanon or expanded universe material I already said I wasn't using, concern that I might switch permanently to a new format I'm trying out, etc).

9- Do you write smut?

Very rarely. I respect people who can write good smut (hi incognita!), but I'm definitely a fade to black sort unless the ship is already so out there that I'm long past feeling self-conscious about it.

10- Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes. It's happened a couple of times, but the main one was someone who stole a few Austen fics from various people and tried to piece them together into something they could sell on Amazon. One of the fics was The Rich Are Always Respectable (not what I would choose to plagiarize if I were going to, but ... okay).

11- Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, several times. I think it's cool!

12- Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I wrote a short fic with my friend @tulinlina many years ago :)

13- What's your all-time favorite ship?

Darcy/Elizabeth. Truly this ship is the terror of the seas!

14- What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Oh, man. This probably requires more self-knowledge than I really have. Um ... I hate saying it, but we get dark, only to shine is likely this. I had so many plans for where it was going to go, but I'm just in a very different fannish place these days.

15- What are your writing strengths?

It feels weird to say, but I think I write solid dialogue (it's certainly my favorite thing to write!) and fairly clean prose in general.

16- What are your writing weaknesses?

Description is my truest nemesis—I tend to place scenes in just empty or vaguely described space. Fight scenes and that sort of thing are really difficult (for related reasons). Finishing things—my stuff nearly always grows out of control and it screws up pacing and so on.

17- What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

A little goes a long way, IMO. I did a bit of it in my fic about Leia and Cassian and Alderaanian, in tongues and quiet sighs, so I can't judge it too hard, but it's very much something to handle with care (especially with conlangs—Tolkien fic can be pretty grating this way).

18- What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Tolkien! My first attempt at a fic was a Faramir-goes-to-Rivendell-instead-of-Boromir AU that never got very far.

Well, my first serious attempt at fanfic, that is—I wrote original stuff for years before that, and I guess technically I tried to write Trixie Belden fanfic when I was about 10 ... and the original stuff spun off from a piece that was basically a Secret of Mana fanfic I wrote even before the Trixie Belden stuff. But in terms of something written within a fandom community, the Faramir fic.

19- What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Hmm. I'm not sure, actually. I mostly just write stuff if I feel like it. Oh—it's cheating, but I've barely written Korra/Kuvira even though I adore the ship. I'd like to write a proper Korvira fic someday.

20- What's your favorite fic you've written?

This changes pretty often, though there are always a few that come up when I'm asked. At this moment in time, probably The Jedi and the Sith Lord, the third (sort of) of my f!Luke Skywalker fics, and the one where the story finally swerves off the canon tracks and becomes its own thing. Maybe (probably?) not my best work, but the Lucyverse is my baby and I think TJATSL is my best work in it.

Tagging: @elwing, @kareenvorbarra, @heckofabecca, @veliseraptor, @rain-sleet-snow

[inukag-archive]

HELLO! would it be possible to get a list of ONGOING FICS that you have to run (not walk) when there is an update (aka your favorites)?

Hello Nonnie!

Warm up your AO3 Subscribe (or FFN Alert) button and get ready to run as soon as you get a glorious Update Email. As per our standard the Fic Finders chose 20 stories and we grouped them based on how recently they have updated (within the last year, within the last three years, and more than three years).

ONE YEAR

Legacy by @fandomobsessions016 (M)

“She thinks this is a game,” Shippo stated weakly, his solemn comment cutting through the tense air. “Like… for fun.”

“Why the hell would you think that?” Inuyasha snapped, never taking his eyes off her, captivated by the storm that was forming inside them.

“Because that’s what I was told it was,” Kagome replied, looking back at him, her lip trembling as she felt her sanity begin to crumble to nothing more than ash in her mind.

“You were lied to.”

--

If We Fall Anyway by @soliska (T)

What if the shikon jewel didn’t exist and Naraku never came to be? What if Kagome fell down the well anyway and met a gruff, young inu-hanyou. Would they still become friends? What would be their story?

A tale told in snippets.

--

Monster by @akitokihojo (E)

A murderous demon taints the world with unforgivable crimes, taking out his weakness in secret. Unfortunately for him, it isn't that easy. He thinks he's unstoppable, but his arrogance blinds him to the war blooming before him. Kagome and Inuyasha, both powerful in their own way, and even more so together, step forward to try to put an end to things.

--

Thy Thralldom Come by TheMondayChild (E) Two sisters of royal blood are captured by the enemy. Their kingdom is no more. A cruel Prince has taken them both for his own, tempting them into depths unexplored by good girls. Their choice is clear: lose themselves or lose their lives.

--

Hit the Like Button by @omgitscharlie (E)

After a public breakup, successful social media influencer Kagome Higurashi is single for the first time since she started her career. Trying to cheer her friend up, Sango hosts a party in hopes of getting Kagome out of her stooper; unbeknownst to her, there's a certain person Sango wants her to meet.

Having a hard time moving on from his last relationship, simple mechanic Inuyasha Nōnēmu is dragged to a party hosted by the girlfriend of his long-time friend, Miroku. Begrudgingly accepting, he is unknowingly set up to meet one of Sango's friends.

Unfortunately, the set up does not go as hoped as the two know each other from previous, unsavory interactions.

--

One Hundred Ways to Say I Love You by @shinidamachu (G)

“and I'd choose you. In a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you.” – Kiersten White. For each chapter, a prompt from the One Hundred Ways to Say I Love You list.

--

Supersum by @elkonigin (M)

Supersum (Latin): (1) As a remainder, to be left, to remain, to exist still; (2) to live after, outlive, to be still alive, to survive; (3) to be in excess, to be superabundant or superfluous; (4) to be present, to serve by being present, to assist

I am what is left over. I survived. I am superfluous. I support, advocate for, and defend.

My name is Kagome Higurashi.

--

Million Dollar Man by @inussunflower (E)

Inuyasha is a troubled UFC fighter, who has quickly found comfort in the lap of luxury. However, his temper had landed him in trouble numerous times already in his short career. Lately, his publicist Miroku has had enough of his self-destructive ways. Exasperated, Miroku has decided it's best for Inuyasha to enter a public relationship, in an attempt to soften his public image. Enter Kagome Higurashi, a barista who works at a cafe a few blocks away from Inuyasha's flashy Manhattan apartment. Tempers and frustrations fly as Kagome and Inuyasha struggle in adjusting to a loveless relationship, but will time change that?

--

Shelter by @lavendertwilight89 (E)

Feudal Era AU: Song fic inspired Stuck with You and Shelter

Inuyasha has been alone most of his life and one moonless night he gets caught up with a young priestess. She saves him and he, in return, helps her. What he doesn't realize is this priestess holds a lot of secrets which may or may not cost both of them their lives...

--

Writing on the Wall by @absent-angel (T)

Inuyasha doesn't believe in haunted houses – until he actually buys one. Figures. A story told in bits and pieces.

--

THREE YEAR

Out of the Woods by @dyaz-stories (T)

After the murder of Kikyo, the local priestess, the villagers start leaving offerings to the forest's god, who they think they've angered. Kagome, called to the village to replace her cousin, finds out, too late, just how far they're willing to go when they use her as the month's sacrifice. She decides not to go down without a fight — except that, instead of an angry god, she finds herself faced with a hungry half-demon, who's very annoyed he won't be getting a food offering for the month.

“What the fuck are you doing here? Where’s my food?”

“Oh I’m sorry, am I not a sacrifice satisfying enough?”

--

Only the Right Medicine by @dawnrider (E)

Modern AU: Kagome is new to the small town where humans and youkai live in relative peace. But there is a disruption of that peace in the late daiyoukai's hanyou son who is at risk of being overcome. Maybe the new addition to town is exactly what he needs...

--

Little Family by @xoxopandapanda (T)

Post Canon and A/U: Inuyasha and Kagome's family grows in time, starting with a little child who needs parents to teach him to love.

--

That Flesh of Mine by @witchygirl99 (M)

Kagome just wanted to get through high school in one piece. She never thought one night in the woods would change everything: that monsters were real. They were coming to the tiny town of Sakura for something important, something powerful. And one monster, with claws and fangs and blood-soaked silver hair, was the centre of all of it. Watching her with golden eyes.

--

Behind the Silk Screen by @eien-no-basho (E)

When a twist of fate brings the common-born priestess Kagome to serve Inuyasha, Divine Emperor of Japan, will she be able to help him claim his place on the throne and bring order to their country? Or will court intrigues and their own burgeoning feelings tear the two and their nation apart? A historical romance set in Japan’s Heian Era.

--

Demon Nature by @shardetector (E)

He spoke low and gently, although his voice was gruff with his demon still so close to the surface, “You saved me wench, now I’ll repay the favor.”

With that, his muscles bunched in his legs as he sprung up and out of the well, a red blur in the night as he made his way through the forest to his destination. His precious cargo held safely to his chest, as he raced to save her with his demonic speed.

--

One Last Ride by @lemonlushff (E)

Kagome comes home to Montana from her new life in California…Only to be greeted with hostility and the demons of her past. Some mistakes can never be forgiven. She just hopes that maybe this one can. Inspired by BrigidTheFae/Clearwillow's art - New Moon Ride. Inu/Kag. Rated E for the reasons you think. Art by BrigidTheFae/Clearwillow inside!

--

THREE YEARS+

Sachi by Quillwing717 (M) Inn owner InuYasha Kasahara is finally satisfied with his life. Undisturbed, isolated…and peaceful. Until the arrival of Kagome, half-frozen, partially clothed, and unconscious from a gunshot to the head. Worse…her face is chillingly familiar.

--

Freak Attraction: Seven Man Circus by @artistefish (M)

A macabre new circus has come to Japan, boasting the strangest collection of freaks ever seen. When Kagome and Inuyasha learn what these 'freaks' really are, they determine to set them free form their sadistic captors. But they need time, and in a city full of humans and no way to fight, their only choice is to become circus acts themselves.

--

Possession by Wheezambu (M) Ch. 38 updated. When Inuyasha uses the jewel to become a full demon, it has a tragic outcome. This story touches painful subjects of love betrayed, survival, and redemption. This is a dark, sometimes bitter story for emotionally adult readers who understand that even the best people sometimes lose themselves and the pain of returning to those feelings. In short, it's a love story.

--

PS This is post three in the Mod Favorite's Series: Mod Comfort Fics -=- Mod Must Reads

[chenziee]

Romance Dawn for the East Blue

Inspired by @feriowind‘s blessed tweet about Yamato winding up on Dawn Island :)

Enjoy 4k words of the 4 brothers driving everyone  crazy :D

[Read on AO3 or below the cut]

----------

Slowly blinking awake, Yamato struggled to remember why he was lying on the beach of some strange island, the smell of sea salt and trash mixing in the air into something almost worse than the confines of his prison of Onigashima. Almost. It was still freedom after all, and Yamato would gladly take this disgusting smell over his father threatening to place bombs on his wrists.

Looking around groggily, his eyes finally fell on the sad, wooden remains of a small boat, a boat that Yamato had been using to sail this unfamiliar sea during the past weeks. And he finally remembered the terrible events that had led him to this island.

 Yes, it was a dark, stormy night, the likes of which Yamato had never seen even in the unpredictable New World, and definitely not since his escape in the peaceful and calm East Blue. He had fought to keep his boat from capsizing, fighting against the strong winds and ocean currents all by himself for hours… but then suddenly, a Neptunian so large it could only have come from the Calm Belt appeared. Yamato had managed to fight it off but unfortunately, his boat suffered too much damage from the power of his Thunder Bagua. He was then forced to swim to the nearest shore with the last bits of strength he had left—

"I saw the Lord of the Coast attack the fishing boat this person was sleeping in. It was really funny, when they woke up, they screamed so loud I think even the people in Fuusha heard. And then they fell in the water while trying to stand up. But the idiot apparently can't swim so I had to go fish them out."

Yamato froze in place at the boyish voice who was retelling his heroic battle so rudely. Wasn't he allowed to at least pretend?  

Another boy, this one sounding even younger, started snickering then. "I like this person, Sabo! They’re so funny!"

"Luffy, you're the last one who should be laughing here," a third voice sighed. "Anchor boy." Yamato could almost hear the cheeky smirk on his face as he teased this 'Luffy'.

“Don’t call me that!” the youngest one cried, sounding like he was about to fight the other boy.

“Ace, don’t provoke him,” the first boy chided. “You’ll wake the idiot with your fighting.”

That was it.

“Will you stop calling me an idiot?!” Yamato shouted as he sprung up to a sitting position, an embarrassed blush on his face.

They all paused at the sudden movement, blinking up at him in shock. Yamato glowered at them one by one, taking note of how tiny these kids were—the blond and the freckled one looked no older than 12, while the other could be maybe 8. The blond was the only one dripping in water, just as much as Yamato himself was, and Yamato could only assume this was Sabo, the one who had pulled him out of the water. That would make Freckles ‘Ace’, and the youngest one ‘Luffy’.

Yamato had to wonder, though, how Sabo was able to save him all by himself. Yamato was 16 years old, a lot older than however old these boys were, and he was Kaido’s son—meaning he was already much taller than some adults. Although, he supposed he had seen stranger things and people a lot stronger than a human their size should have been. An image of Oden during his execution came to mind immediately but Yamato quickly chased the memory away.

“Oh look, the idiot’s awake,” Ace said lazily, looking thoroughly unimpressed by Yamato’s glare and simply returning it with one of his own.

Luffy, on the other hand, grinned brightly, hopping over to Yamato to stare up at him with stars in his eyes. “Are those horns? Real ones?”

Blinking, Yamato’s hand automatically reached up to touch one of his horns. “Yeah?” he replied slowly, unsure of what he was supposed to say. Was it that weird to people not from the Grand Line to see someone with features like this?

“That’s so cool! Join my pirate crew!” His grin only widened with his request—or demand.

Yamato tilted his head to the side. “You have a pirate crew?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“Well, not yet,” Luffy said, a small pout appearing on his lips. “But eventually, I will be the Pirate King so of course I will have one!” he announced looking so proud and sure of himself and Yamato felt his lips twitch upward.

“Sure, King, I’ll tag along with you,” he laughed, seeing no harm in indulging the adorable kid. And who knew? Maybe he really would end up sailing with him. After all, in 12 years, the Nine Red Scabbards would come back to Wano and Yamato needed to be back there by then. He needed to help open the country.

And who was to say he couldn’t bring the Pirate King with him?

Sabo clicked his tongue then, walking up to Luffy and ruffling his hair. “Stop that, you don’t even know this person’s name.”

“Oh right,” Yamato said, hitting t he palm of his hand with his fist in sudden realization. “Sorry. I’m Kozuki Oden. You can also call me Yamato. Son of Kaido. Thanks for helping me.”

----------

“Ace! Luffy! What’s the meaning of this?!”

Yamato groaned; always a wonderful way to wake up. “Are you drunk again, you bull-gorilla? Go away it’s too early for this,” he shouted back, not even bothering to open his eyes.

There was a moment of silence until someone stomped over to stand right above Yamato’s head. “What did you just call me, you brat?”

Finally, Yamato blinked up at the person with long ginger hair, a cigarette between their lips, and looking decidedly female. He closed his eyes again, mumbling, “Oh you’re not my father. Whatever then.” As soon as he was done, he pulled his blanket over his head to try and get some more peace and quiet.

It might not have been his father but it still was too early for this.

“Dadan, shut up,” some one whined from somewhere around halfway down Yamato’s body.

“Yeah, what’s the problem?” another person joined in, their voice coming from Yamato’s other side.

Oh right. Ace, Sabo, and Luffy had brought him back to their place last night; this had to be the nasty old hag they mentioned. Definitely seemed like one.

“First Garp drops you two on me, then you bring in more and more kids with you? What do you expect me to do, this isn’t a daycare!” It sounded like the woman was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

Finally, Sabo spoke up, sounding about as sleepy as Yamato felt, “Dadan, this is our brother, Yamao. Yamao, Dadan.” With that, he flopped back down, his head coming to rest against Yamato’s thigh.

“I’m not a pillow, you three!” Yamato snapped upon the realization of how the boys were laying with their limbs thrown all over the place, Yamato’s own body included. “And it’s Ya-ma-to,” he added with a sigh, already giving giving up on convincing them to not use Luffy’s nickname.

“Where the hell did you manage to pick up another brother,” Dadan complained and Yamato was starting to feel a little sorry for her. He had to admit that dealing with these three was like fighting a hurricane and it hasn’t even been 24 hours since he met them. At least now he was there, a responsible teenager to keep them in check. She should really be grateful he happened to… choose this island to land on.

“Alright, kid. I don’t care who you are you where you came from—” the woman paused, folding her arms over her chest as she stared down and Yamato— “but I will not feed you. One bowl of rice per day is all I can guarantee you.”

Yamato laughed, “That’s not necessary. Oden could do it, I would be a disgrace if I couldn’t take care of myself and my brothers, too.”

Dadan stared at him for a moment, blinking once, twice, before she threw he hands up in frustration. As she walked away, Yamato could hear her mumbling to herself about stupid brats who couldn’t be phased by anything and how she was going to ‘let Garp have it’ the next time he ‘bothered to show his sorry ass’ there.

Yamato simply shrugged and went back to sleep.

----------

Life on Dawn Island turned out to be surprisingly easy and, even more surprisingly, fun. It didn’t take Yamato long to get to know the forest, the mountain, and the Grey Terminal beyond it, running around the place with his little brothers like he was born there with them.

“Yamao, where are you going, that’s the opposite direction!” Sabo called after him in exasperation, pointing the right way.  

A few days after his arrival, he went to retrieve his kanabo from the waters just off the shore. Ace had looked at him, asking why he was so desperate if it was the same weapon the father he so hated used and Yamato couldn’t admit he had a point but… he simply didn’t feel right without it. It was his weapon as well now, and the bull-gorilla wouldn’t take that away from him.

It took him three hours of diving but the happiness and rightness of his kanabo next to him was well worth the effort.

“What are you two anchors doing?” Ace shouted from where he was in the water and towards the two at the beach, looking incredibly annoyed.  

Yamato and Luffy exchanged a glance before turning back to Ace and replying in unison, “Building a pirate ship from sand.”  

Just then, Sabo’s head popped out of the water next to Ace. “I need a break,” he gasped, struggling to catch his breath after being underwater for so long.  

“This club of yours better be made from gold, Yamao, or so help me,” Ace grumbled before leaving Sabo to rest and diving in instead.  

Once he had his kanabo in hand, it became incredibly easy to hunt even the most ferocious beasts around, allowing Yamato enough room to stay back and direct the young brothers, giving them pointers and helping them with their hunting techniques. Usually, he simply watched, letting the boys do most of the hunt, even if it meant the prey got away sometimes. After all, making mistakes and losing was a good way to get stronger. So he let them do their own thing while making sure they were okay, and only jumping in when necessary.

“Okay, here’s the plan. We go around the river, then we split up. Me and Luffy will go up while you and Ace follow the riverbed. It’s risky, but on my signal, you will catch its attention and keep it distracted. Then me and Luffy jump down at its head. Hopefully that will at least knock it out so you and Ace can then come help us finish it. And Yamao—” Sabo paused, giving Yamato a hard, subtly threatening look— “if you run ahead screaming and scare it off again, we’re having you for dinner.” 

Yamato could only gulp and nod obediently.  

He even managed to impress the local Madonna, the cute pub owner Makino. The first time she had come to visit after Yamato had arrived, she immediately dropped all the food, alcohol, and children’s clothes that she had brought, and ran straight to him. She gave him all of her attention the rest of her stay. And even though Yamato wasn’t interested, he had to admit that being fawned over, and especially the jealous stares all the bandits were giving him, felt great.

“Oh my,” Makino muttered when she noticed Yamato. “Luffy did say Yamao was a little taller than him but…” she trailed off, her expression turning troubled.  

“You don’t have any clothes big enough for him, do you?” Dogra asked, munching on one of the cones Makino had brought.  

The young woman shook her head, sighing, “I think I’ll have to make them all from scratch. Yamao, can you come here? I need to take some measurements.” 

"Yamao, you're blushing more than Ace did!" Luffy pointed out immediately, clutching his stomach as he doubled over in laughter.  

Yamato made sure his hand was coated in haki when he hit the boy over the head.  

Over all, he had to say he much prefered the life of a cool big brother over being a pirate crew’s' ‘young master’. It was a lot more fun, a lot easier to breathe. He never felt more free than he did while laughing and running around the mountain, plotting pranks on their brothers with Ace, or getting grounded— getting thanked by Sabo for running off and beating up the pathetic excuses for pirates who had hurt Luffy and threatened the boys' treasure stash.

Even Dadan's frustrated screaming felt more loving than anything the bull-gorilla of a biological parent had ever shown him. And no, it definitely wasn’t much more embarrassing.

----------

"I don't want to be a marine!" Luffy screamed one morning just as the others were getting ready to head out to work their brand new tree house base.

Both Sabo and Ace froze, turning to stare at each other for a moment with wide eyes.

"Run?" Ace asked in a whisper.

"Run," Sabo nodded seriously before they both turned to look at Yamato.

The teen simply sat there, turning his confused gaze between Ace, Sabo, and the direction from which Luffy's voice came a few seconds earlier. "What's going on?"

Ace and Sabo exchanged a glance once more, seemingly coming to a mutual understanding before Ace answered, "Go see for yourself. Luffy could probably use the help."

Immediately, Yamato was on his feet, heading outside to save his adorable baby brother from whatever monster he was facing. He was slightly suspicious of the high five Ace and Sabo had exchanged, not as sneakily as they probably thought, but as long as Luffy was in trouble, it didn't matter much to him.

As soon as he made it outside the little house, his eyes fell on the two figures fighting just a little bit away from the house. Obviously, one of them was Luffy, who was visibly fuming; growling and snapping his teeth like he was getting ready to literally bite the legs off of his target.

The target in question was a tall, although obviously much shorter than Yamato, and muscular old man clad in a bright red and white aloha shirt, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared Luffy down. He looked thoroughly unimpressed by Luffy’s pistol punches—which admittedly still left much to be desired despite Yamato’s efforts to help him out; it was only a question of time before he managed to find the right bang feeling. The man he was fighting looked vaguely familiar but Yamato couldn’t place that face no matter how much he wrecked his brain.

But it didn’t matter.

“Luffy, are you okay?!” Yamato called in alarm, rushing forward while preparing to swing his kanabo at the stranger.

The both of them turned to look at him then, identical angry expressions on their faces and suddenly, Yamato realized who the man reminded him of. It was more than obvious where Luffy got his personality and expressions. Maybe he should… not attack this person on sight?

Making the decision for him, Luffy huffed upon seeing him approach, raising his hand and making Yamato stop. “Stay back, I’m fine! I can kick gramps’ ass myself!”

“Who’s ass are you gonna kick?” the man snapped, his light punch making Luffy clutch at his head. “You can’t win against the fist of love, Luffy!”

Yamato blinked. That was obviously haki but… fist of love?  

Ignoring Luffy’s complaints, the man gave Yamato an obvious once over. “And who are you? Wait—” he paused, looking like he just remembered something— “you’re Yamao, aren’t you?”

“My name is Ya-ma-to, and I’m Luffy’s big brother,” Yamato replied, not entirely sure why he even bothered to correct anyone on his name at this point. No one ever listened.

“Part of the family already, hm? You have an impressive swing; you’ll make a fine marine.” The grandfather nodded, grinning at Yamato in approval.

Yamato did a double take. “I’m not going to be a marine!” he responded immediately, the horror he felt at the though clear in his voice.

“Exactly! We’re gonna be pirates!” Luffy joined in, fully recovered and launching a new rubbery pistol punch, which went completely ignored.

Gramps puffed up, raising his fist threateningly in front of himself. “Nonsense! All four of you will be the strongest marines the navy’s ever had if I have any say in it!”

“No way!” Luffy and Yamato cried in unison, the both of them jumping at the man in a joint attack.

A second later the both of them were rolling on the ground together, clutching at their heads and trying to recover from yet another fist of love. Seriously, Yamato only just met this guy, why was he getting a fist of love? Or better yet, why did it sound like he was already considered a grandson? He didn’t even know his new grandfather’s name.

He guessed it was simply one more proof of his relation to Luffy. It was exactly the same to when Luffy had decided by himself that Yamato was the big brother now, not even half an hour after meeting him, and just like back then, Yamato was powerless in defying that decision.

Not like he wanted to. He would be lying if he said being considered family so easily, so warmly, so unconditionally didn’t make him happy. But still…

“I’m already a pirate,” he growled. Not to mention marines did nothing but fight Oden and the Pirate King’s crew. Like hell was he becoming one of them.  

Gramps took a deep breath, looking like he was about to explode, but Yamato interrupted him. “The navy wouldn’t want someone with my blood anyway. They’d execute me on the spot,” he said flatly, looking the man straight in the eyes, trying to convey how disgusted by the institution, the world government, the current world he was. Like hell was he participating in that. He’d much rather wait patiently for the one who was going to change it all and support them.  

Neither of them said anything for a moment, neither of them faltering as they stared each other down silently. Until finally, gramps grinned, a smile so similar to Luffy’s that Yamato startled.

“If blood’s the problem, all the more reason you should join,” he announced, the smile never leaving his face even as his eyes turned almost sad.  

Yamato tilted his head to the side as he watched the man slowly look at Luffy before his eyes slid in the direction of the bandits’ house. When Yamato turned to look, he could see Ace turning around and walking away, Sabo quickly following with a worried expression on his face.

Well.

At least Yamato wasn’t the only one who obviously hated his biological family around here.

Deciding to leave Ace in Sabo’s hands, Yamato turned back to the problem at hand but before he could snap at the man, Luffy did so for him, “No. He’s joining my crew!”

“Over my dead body!” gramps roared in response, looking like he was going to go off on a rant.

Yamato, however, wasn’t about to sit around and listen to that. “No, over my dead body. Do you even hear how fucked up it is that you need to join the navy to be safe from getting hunted? Neither of us going there,” he growled, baring his teeth for good measure.

The old man paused, blinking at Yamato once, then twice, before he burst out in laughter, one so loud, so honest, and so contagious that, despite having no idea what was so funny, it made even Yamato want to laugh. All his anger was forgotten as his lips stretched in a grin, shaking his head at the sudden realization of how weird this entire situation was. He barely knew what was even happening but… it wasn’t like Yamato ever really paused to think about things. If it felt right, he’d go with it. If it didn’t, fuck it.  

And this, incredibly, felt right.

It was only a long while later that gramps finally caught his breath enough to speak, “I like you, kid. Are you sure you’re Kaido’s son?”

As if hit by the bull-gorilla’s Thunder Bagua, Yamato stopped laughing, only staring with an open mouth as dread ran through him. “How?” he could only say after a dreadfully long moment of heavy silence. Or maybe it was only a second. But it was too much, and made Yamato feel too on edge. Ready to fight. He didn’t want to even hear the bull-gorilla’s name; definitely didn’t want to hear it in relation to himself.

Gramps looked at him as if asking if he was kidding then, but with his only answer being a glare, he started laughing anew. “Kid, if you don’t want people to know, or the asshole finding you, maybe stop introducing yourself with ‘son of Kaido’ to anyone you meet. You have poor Makino quite worried.”

Oh.

Whoops?

“Yamao, you’re stupid,” Luffy laughed.

The teen huffed, shoving hard at Luffy’s shoulder. “You’re stupid,” he hissed back, making Luffy stick his tongue out at him.

Yamato saw it only fair he do the same in return.

Just then, a dark shadow loomed over the both of them and they slowly looked up, only to see gramps looking down at them with an evil grin on his face, slowly cracking his knuckles. “Whatever you say, I will train you stupid brats into proper marines, yet.”

Yamato finally understood why Ace and Sabo’s immediate reaction was to run, then send Yamato as what he could now only assume being a sacrifice. There was no way even Yamato was going to be a fair match for this man. “Oh fuck,” Yamato cursed, scrambling to his feet to follow Luffy, who who was already hafway down the clearing away after taking the first popped knuckle as his signal to bolt.

“Watch your fucking language in front of your baby brothers!” gramps shouted after him just before something that might have been a pine cone flew past him at an impossible speed.

Yamato and Luffy exchanged a glance, identical grins spreading in their lips before they both took a deep breath. “ACE! SABO! HELP!!”

If they were to die today, they’d make sure to take the other two down with them.

----------

Hours later, Yamato lay awake in his bed on the floor of the mountain bandits’ cabin long after his brothers started snoring softly. He was exhausted from the day spent laughing and running away from gramps—or Garp, as he had finally learned earlier that evening once Dadan finally stopped hiding from the man—but as opposed to the others, he didn’t want to sleep.

Not when gramps and Dadan were busy talking on the other side of this thin wall. What had started as the two of them sharing their frustrations and complaints about their kids quickly turned into fondness as they instead told each other stories about the brothers and their antics. Yamoto wasn’t surprised the bandit knew exactly where their secret base was, just as he wasn’t surprised by Garp only pulling out the most embarrassing stories he probably could.

It was a good thing the other three had managed to pass out the second their heads hit their pillows or they’d be trying to fight the old man all over again over it.

Yamato, on the other hand, refused to miss out on a second of this. The adults might not have allowed him to drink with them, claiming Yamato was too young for that—to which he not-so-politely disagreed, but then Garp’s fist disagreed with him—but they couldn’t stop him from listening. Those were his brothers they were talking about and he wanted to hear all about the past ten years of their lives that he had missed.

And if he maybe got a little bit happy every time they brought Yamato up, well… no one had to know that.

“Yamao, I swear if you don’t stop laughing at their shitty stories, I will strangle you with your own hair.”

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

TOSHIYA AT JOE YOKOMIZO CHANNEL 4TH FEB TRANSLATION/NOTES 4/4

Joe Yokomizo Channel

Guest: Toshiya (Dir en grey)

Notes before reading: This is the translation/notes of the livestream on Joe’s Niconico channel with Toshiya as a guest last 4th February.  This is part 4. The livestream was one hour and fifty min approx. This part covers the last 20 minutes. The livestream is no longer available at Joe Yokomizo Channel but you can check the translation of the previous parts at my tumblr. Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing parts.

Links or credits to this post when the content is reposted or captured in other SNS are appreciated ------------------ (First part here) (Second part here) (Third part here) Joe: That’s it. I’m going to ask you…. They are asking.... how do the other members call you, Toshiya… Toshiya: Mostly….”Toshiya”…. Joe: Toshiya? Toshiya: Yes Joe: Just “Toshiya”. Toshiya: That’s it… maybe sometimes…..they say it in an easy way….it’s not like like they attach anything (suffix) like -kun or -chan to my name….they say it in a normal way…. Joe: “Toshiya”, “Toshiya”…. What ice cream are you recently addicted to? Toshiya: Recently… Joe: That’s the question… Toshiya: Recently….somehow….as I’m lazy… Joe: You are lazy….yes, yes, you said that at the beginning of the program…. Toshiya: As expected….I gained a bit of weight…. Joe: *surprised* It doesn’t look like that at all… Toshiya: Now…..I lost some weight… Joe: You did? Toshiya: I did….so I’m not eating sweet things now… Joe: Now you are not eating sweet things…. Toshiya: Yes Joe: I see…. that’s why he is not eating ice creams recently!..... Toshiya: I don’t… Joe: These kind of questions are a bit harsh but if you have to choose….tsubuan (coarse sweet bean paste) or koshian (fine-grained sweet bean paste)? Toshiya:*Enthusiastically* I like both! Joe: You like both…. Toshiya: But I would say koshian? Joe: If you had to choose, it would be koshian….now there is a question related to The Freedom of Expression, a youtube program I do with Kaoru. “Joe also does  The Freedom of Expression with Kaoru. I would like to hear any stories with Kaoru”. Toshiya: With Kaoru?....well…..mmmmm……*chuckles*…. Kaoru…..Surprisingly, there are many stories of just the two of us that would make you laugh…. Joe: I see…. stories that you can’t tell here…. Toshiya: *nods* That’s right… yes yes….*laughs*…mmmmmm….that’s right…..*laughs* Joe: That’s it….*laughs* Toshiya: Surprisingly…. Joe: Surprisingly…. Toshiya: Unexpectedly…. Joe: I get it… They both laugh. Toshiya: It’s like….I feel like maybe they might be not so open-minded….. Joe:  You can’t…..that’s it…. it would be many grow-up/adult conversations….. Toshiya: *laughs* Grow-up/adult conversations…. Joe: That’s ok… Toshiya: That’s it….but something really…..it applies to the other members as well…..they are all caring/considerate people….they are really like that….what I hate the most when I’m drinking….what I hate the most is people who are in bands that talks shit about other members…. Joe: I see Toshiya: I really hate that…. Joe: I can’t stand that… Toshiya: It’s like…..(they act) as it is ok to talk shit/say bad things when you drink…..much less about members…. Joe: Talking about another member…. Toshiya: I’m like….”I think you should stop doing that”…. Joe: Like “you should speak face-to-face”….it feels like something you should say directly to the members…. Toshiya: I hate that kind of thing….some people say stuff like that sometimes….it’s such a turn-off…. Joe: It really kills the mood….that’s totally it…..because no one chose the band members for you….you are playing in that band because you want to…. Toshiya: That’s it…. Joe: That’s it…..but that happens…..I see…. Toshiya: Before this, at a Liberal Democratic Party meeting…..they took a questionnaire, they weren’t complaining about the organization but they were many people who didn’t like it (the questionnaire). Because they are all adults, right? To some extend, I feel that  it’s important that you see things from a rational point of view…. *Liberal Democratic Party (LDP) is a conservative political party in Japan that has almost continuously been in power since its foundation in 1955.   Joe: Certainly….the good thing about rock….of course it has an aggressive/offensive side but, in the end rock is something positive, isn’t it? Toshiya: That’s right… Joe: Because it’s the power of the people what pushes your forward…. Toshiya: Thereby, you are pushed forward by others…. Joe: Right…. So even if there are things that you might hate about it, to me, the power of rock is finding the good things/side…. Toshiya: That’s right….Taking that direction is rather easier…. Joe: For sure….

Toshiya: The things that you don’t like…..it’s like they become invisible… Joe: Right… Toshiya: It’s better not to see them…. Joe:  True… Toshiya: Even though I can see them…. Joe: That’s right…. Toshiya: I’m being too honest/serious…. Joe: No,no….that’s important….. Then I have the following question…. What protein do you drink? Toshiya: Protein?.....Sabas….

Joe: Sabas?...... Toshiya: Yes Joe:  Is that so?  Sabas? Toshiya: The blue one mostly….I’ve been drinking it recently to lose weight…. Joe: I see….what shampoo or hair product do you use? Toshiya: Shampoo?....mmmmm…what it would be…..about that….surprisingly I use the ones  I get from fans…. Joe: Is that so? You don’t use specific ones…..I’m already at that point….As I’m already 52 years old….*takes off his hat* they told me that my hair is at stage 4, hair restoration is hard….I’m using a hair growth formula that costs 6000 yen per bottle. *The stages of male pattern baldness are measured on a scale from 1 to 7. By stage 4, there is significant hair loss. Toshiya: If you are getting bald, it can’t be helped right? Joe: There is nothing you can do…. What would you do?....if you go bald… Toshiya: Well….mmmm…. I would shave my hair off…. Joe: You would shave it off? I think it would look good on you…. Toshiya: If you think about it, there is nothing that you can do…. Joe: Certainly….*laughs*…..Certainly….I’m going to ask you another question, because we have so many….What was your nickname when you were a kid?.... Toshiya: When I was a kid?.....what was it?....mmmmm….usually….I wonder….I don’t remember it…. Joe: You don’t remember? Ohhh Toshiya: Mmmmm…..*starts laughing suddenly*… this was interesting though…..*laughs* Joe: What is it? Why are you already laughing?….. Toshiya: I’m sorry…..*laughs*….I’m really sorry…. Joe: It’s ok…. Toshiya: This is again about Shinya…. Joe: It’s fine…. Toshiya: Shinya, don’t get mad….I think it’s ok because he told it himself but…. Joe: It’s ok…. Toshiya: When he was asked what was his nickname in the past…..he said it was “liar”….. Joe:* Burst into laugther* That’s so bad….as a person….it’s too amusing…. Toshiya: For real….I really think they are all interesting people….. Joe: It's hard for him to talk much, isn’t it? Does he talk a lot? When I asked him, he just answers……he was amazing…..”liar”….. Toshiya: *laughs* “Liar”…. Joe: Amazing….. Well we are getting closer to the end of the program….. What is your favorite song from Dir en grey? Toshiya: Mmm….I wonder…..I like all of them….I feel strongly about all of them… Joe: I see… Toshiya: I feel strongly about them…..I really feel strongly…. When I think about them…..the feelings and the state of mind of the time (when they were done)….. Joe: Every song……all of them were fun to make but it seems that it was also hard…. Toshiya: Yes, that’s it….that’s true… Joe: Right?....if you play them at a live…..various memories will come…. Toshiya: That’s right…. Most of them were hard….. Joe: Making songs…..that’s such a hard thing….but the fact that there are people who will listen to them, people who are waiting for those songs…. Toshiya: What makes me the happiest about making songs, it’s that for a person, it will become something memorable even if is left in the past….. Joe: Something that will be there…. Toshiya: The feeling that you had when you listened to that song will remain. Like….somehow….any occasion….like a dir en grey album was released at the time you were cleaning the closets and you were listening to it….things like that….that someone was listening to it at moments like those….I’m really grateful. If this can become a page in a person’s life, I’m really grateful. Joe: That's a really nice thing, isn’t it? Toshiya: Time ago…. I was drinking with Baba from Dragon Ash…. Joe: Oh Baba….. Baba who passed away….. *They are talking about Ikuzo Baba “Ikuzone”,  Dragon Ash’s bassist, who passed away in 2012. Toshiya and Ikuzone were interviewed and appeared together at the cover of Bass Magazine No. 228 June 2010* Toshiya: He said that……if you are not forgotten…..you will be able to live forever…. Joe: I see… Toshiya: Baba said this talking about Hide….. Joe: Is that so? Toshiya: If you are forgotten…..I don’t think you will be able to live…. Joe: Well, Baba is still living in us, isn’t he? Toshiya: Of course he is. Those words that he said to me….even now…..those words resonate with me…. Joe: Certainly…..those words  are really good…aren’t they? Toshiya: I think those words were very Baba-ish…. Joe: Certainly…..because the music will remain forever….even if you forget about it for a moment….it may now always be part of  your playlists….but it will come out eventually… Toshiya: That’s right…..somehow…..mmmmm…. I want you to listen to Dir en grey forever…..*laughs* Joe: Of course… Toshiya: I want that to happen but I don’t know (if it will happen)……but……if it bring you memories of that time….that….makes me really happy and grateful…. Joe: I see…..everybody is taking this chance to write the dir en grey songs they like at the comments…..there are many comments appearing on screen…..lastly….there is one more questionnaire for Toshiya….February 2021 has just started….. the emergency state has been extended and we are all in a difficult situation but…..I wonder what are his goals, dreams or plans for this year……ah! Amazing *points at the comments* Thank you for writing so many comments…. Toshiya: Thank you… Joe: All of them…..”Yokan”…. I see…..”Child Prey”….there are many songs there….”Ranunculus”….ahh, Ranunculus is such a great song…..I really like “Ranunculus”…. Toshiya: Ah….it’s really a good song…. Joe: It’s an amazing song…..”Ningen wo Kaburu”…..write more, write more…..we are looking at your comments while we are drinking….please, we are going to use a paper sheet again….*pointing at the notebook on the floor* Toshiya: Ah,yes….*picks it* Joe: About this year….. something like a close goal….you said you were lazy  a while ago but….I want you to think about a positive keyword for 2021….amazing….you all are writing a lot of comments….”Lotus” is there too….amazing….”Rinkaku”….they are writing many songs…..”Zakuro”…..that’s a great song……”Utafumi”….thats a more recent song…..it’s a good song too….. Toshiya:  Somehow…..the songs that we have made…..probably…. Honestly, I can’t say  that Dir en grey is going to be there forever…. I always think about it as walking on thin ice….honestly….somehow….when Dir en grey is gone…..the things that we did….like our legacy…..I think that would be the songs after all….. Joe: I see…. Toshiya: If we are remembered that way…..I would be really thankful….. Joe: That’s right….they are writing “please don’t be gone”…..of course that’s what we all want, that Dir en grey never ends... Toshiya: Of course…. Joe: Of course no one wants Dir en grey to disappear, I’m not saying it with that intention….. Toshiya: I don’t think about it but I can’t promise…..I can’t do that…. Joe: That’s right…..because a band it’s a miracle…. Toshiya: I think so… Joe: Many things you do are miracles…..because not many people can do that… Toshiya: I don’t know….All this….I really just cant do it (by myself)…. Joe: That’s why I think it’s so great that you can perform and produce things…. Toshiya: I agree…. Joe: Definitely, there will a tomorrow and a day after tomorrow…. Toshiya: I agree… Joe: Yes…. Toshiya: That’s it….So, at this time with Corona going on…. I have thought about a lot of things inside my head….but after all, I thought about what was the most negative thing about this situation for me….when I thought about that…..I think the most negative thing for me is that the activities of these 5 people  are reduced…. Joe: I see…. Toshiya: I don’t think it will last forever….I think that the other members feel the same than me…of course, I want to continue doing this as long as I’m alive…. Joe: Of course… Toshiya: I don’t know…. Joe: Yes… Toshiya: With that in mind, last year…..2020….somehow we could only do things as a band at the beginning of the year…that’s it….I feel like  the time of these five people doing things  together has been dramatically reduced……that’s really…..I think it’s very frustrating/annoying….. Joe: I see. That’s why I’m sure the next single is going to be amazing and strong….something that it’s going to make you think hard…. Toshiya: I want it to be something that remains…. Joe: Also the concert screening tour is going to start soon….I hope that everyone as well while believing in every moment, support it… So, what kind of goals or thoughts has Toshiya for 2021? What ideas has installed into his heart? I told him to express them in one kanji…please take a look…. Toshiya: It’s a bit so-so…. Toshiya shows the kanji he wrote. Joe: There it is…. Toshiya: Yes Toshiya wrote “動” (motion). Joe: “Motion” Toshiya: *Laughs* “Motion”…..yes….. Joe: Yes…movement…. Toshiya: Movement….that’s the main thing……I think it’s the main thing right now….unless something “moves”….I knew that nothing was going to happen last year but this year I want us “to move” as much as possible….as much as possible….Of course I want to meet the fans ( at a concert) again but over all, I want  the five of us to move forward…. Joe: That’s good… Toshiya: That’s the main thing I want….. Joe: The band moving forward..…. please everyone look forward to that….the concert screening tour will start soon and although the release date hasn’t been set yet, a new single will be released in the spring. The next action has already begun in pre-production, so when the situation allows it, we all can meet at the live venue again…. Toshiya: That’s it….really…..I want them to come but honestly I can’t tell them to come….that’s it…..if something happens, it’s going to be the hardest thing for us….somehow….that something happens to the people who say that like Dir en grey….that’s the thing I hate the most… Joe: That’s right… that something happens to the people who loves you…..that’s the worst…. Toshiya: It is….it’s the worst…. Joe: For real… Toshiya: For real, I really hate it… Joe: That's right. That's why we should take good measures against infection. We are still in a difficult situation at this time….at an emotional level too…..and after all, I think that some people are also feeling (emotionally) weak…. Toshiya: That’s why that I got this opportunity to be here….that you all are watching this….it make me happy… Joe: Well, finally, what was promised….he’ll take off his sunglasses and say goodbye…but before….next week a new program will be broadcasted….next week Shinya from LUNA SEA…. Toshiya: Oh! Joe: He’ll come to the program…. Toshiya:  A big senpai…. Joe: Isn’t he? He got infected with Corona virus…. Toshiya: Ah, that’s it….it surprised me… Joe: The concert they had at the end of the year had to be suspended…. Toshiya:  That’s right….that some people said you did something bad/wrong… Joe: That’s right…. Toshiya: So  that you ended up like that (infected with the virus)…. Joe: It’s not like he was doing it on his own….but on the contrary, it seems that Shinya also seems to have thought about that, about all the things he did around that time…. Toshiya: It’s really…..to blame someone for that…. Joe: That’s definitely wrong… Toshiya: I think it’s nonsense… Joe: I think that everyone here thinks the same about this….*pointing at the comments* they didn’t do anything wrong….anything wrong….its seems that everyone here knows that…. As for Toshiya, you said you would come after the single is released and you will sing “Jesus” with you sunglasses off… this was decided today…. Toshiya: But it must get the approval of LUNA SEA members….if they don’t approve it, I won’t do it…. Joe: I will get it!.... Toshiya: No,no… Joe: I’m going to get the label president confirmation…. Toshiya: *Laughs* Sakanoue? *Masatoshi Sakanoue is Luna Sea’s  executive producer* Joe:  Sakanoue….*nods* I’m going to ask for his approval… Toshiya: Nooo…..*raises his arms and squeals*….stop it…. Joe: I’m going to confirm it with him…. I’m going to get his approval Toshiya:*Laughs* For real?....I’ll play bass!… Joe: No, no….anything it’s ok but you have to sing…..the bass….it’s going to be like “he is playing bass as always”…. Toshiya: It's really embarrassing….if you could insert some blurring effect/pixelating…. Joe: I’ll! I will insert some blurring with a mosaic effect….but you have to sing….you can play the bass too if you want…. Toshiya: And some…for the voice…..how is it call?...that thing that changes it… Joe: To change it…..some voice distortion….like if you were interrogating…. Toshiya: That thing that makes your voice super high…. Joe: “It’s decided, he’ll sing while playing the bass”…..everyone is so spoiled…… Toshiya: Yes… Joe: Well, finally…at the end of the program he is going to take off his sunglasses and say goodbye to all of you….*Toshiya is about to get the sunglasses off but it’s stopped by Joe* First the message….then you take off the sunglasses at the end when you say bye bye to them…. Toshiya: Well….today was….arggg…..I really hate this *cleans the sweat of his fronthead* I’m sweating a lot…. Joe:*Laughs*I’m sorry…. Toshiya: It was really fun…. Joe: Thank you…. Toshiya: If you laughed watching this…..that would be the best….that would be the best now…we would be thankful for that and it would make us happy….Yes, that’s it. Next time I’ll come after the releasing of “Oboro” and we’ll have a good drink with you all again…. Joe: Yes… Toshiya: Thank you for today….. Joe: Thank you for watching…. Well, while he says goodbye after taking his sunglasses off, I want to thank you for today. *Toshiya laughs and takes his sunglasses off* Tonight’s guest was Toshiya from Dir en grey! Thank you for watching! Toshiya: Thank you for watching! *waves* Joe: Bye, bye! *clapping* Toshiya is on screen, shyly, waving goodbye and then covers his face with his hands. The image fades and the logo of the channel appears. *Thank you for reading :)*

[darkdevasofdestruction]

The Tigress of Wrath and the Golden Dragon ~ Yin Zhen x Reader

This is a little fic in which the reader is a girl whose father is an important War General for the Emperor Kangxi, and since he has no sons, and the girl shows great aptitude in fighting and strategic thinking, he chooses to present her to the Emperor and requests to treat her as a man and use her skills accordingly.

When she was a child, she got along well enough with the 3rd and 4th Princes ( Yin Zhi and Yin Zhen accordingly ) yet, due to her more tomboyish personality, and the legend of a Tigress Warrior, they nicknamed her "The Tigress" both as a nickname, and a teasing too, as she seemed to be terrible at being feminine as well, as we know how life was like in the 17th-18th century.

Just like the 14th Prince, she was then taken by her father to train in martial arts and returned to the Palace many years later, when she was of age, and to prove herself, she has to go through some challenges…

---

"Father...? Do you think...Those two will remember me? It's been so long, and I've changed so much and...I don't know." the girl asked her father awkwardly, as they walked casually towards the Hall of Mental Cultivation, the place where the Emperor would talk to the people requesting an audience, and solve paper businesses. "Y/N, dear, you may be scared that they won't recognise you, sure, but remember that you are about the same age, and if you've changed so much, imagine that you may not recognise them either. You know very well men change quite a lot when they grow. You were taller than them when you were a little munchkin, but now, I'm sure they will be towering over you." her father chuckled, seeing the horrified look on her face, only to pat her head reassuringly. "That's...So not cool...I'm sure that, with my eternal luck, I'm going to pass by them, and not realise who it is...Ah, father, look at that boy over there, in the red outfit! Do you think it's one of them? Yin Zhi used to like red, that much I remember! Ha, and he didn't grow up too much, I'm sure he's around my height!" the girl grinned triumphantly, her chin held high, which made her father laugh even more mirthfully. "Why don't you go ask him, then? Who knows, you may just be right!" he encouraged her, and with a smile on her face, she ran up to the boy with no inhibition whatsoever, convinced she was talking to her old friend.

"Hello! Sorry to bother, but are you, per chance, the 3rd Prince? I haven't been in the palace since I was very little, so I'm trying to find my friends." she asked the boy in the most carefree manner possible, only to have him chuckle at her and shake his head. "You're about 11 princes down the line, sorry to disappoint you, miss. I'm the 14th Prince, although, I have to say, I'm rather surprised to hear that my brother actually had friends. He's not the most sociable, as far as I'm concerned, but I'll give you a little tip on where to find him. Both him and the 4th Prince are busy devising some kind of plan or something with our Father, the Emperor, so that's the safest bet if you want to find him." the boy explained, as the cricket in his little cage made a cute, almost happy noise of confirmation. "...Yin Zhen is there too...? Oh boy, that's very exciting...Well, thank you for the information, Prince, I appreciate the help. See you around." she bowed quickly to him, in a manly mannerism, which confused the boy garbed in red, yet didn't quite question anything, as she bolted off to her father's side, quickly telling him what she found out.

And so, they arrived in front of the doors, and the Eunuch announced their arrival, allowing them to step inside and kowtow to the floor to greet the Eye of Heaven.

"May the Emperor live eternally." the two chanted in unison as they bowed down in reverence. "General Nian, I pray you have arrived safely. And I see you've finally brought your daughter with you as well. Just as expected, she grew up a real beauty, just like her mother."the Emperor smiled at them, as they nodded their heads as a thank you. "Your Majesty is kind and benevolent above all, yet I dare not receive just praise." the girl raised her sight so she could look at the old man, feeling awkward, yet unstoppable. "A humble one she is, General, you've raised her well. As I see it, she is of age. Are you here to request a good marriage for her? Perhaps with one of my sons?" the Emperor asked, earning a silent yet startled gulp from the girl. "Your Majesty, I dare not. My daughter, bless her soul, is not the most feminine one, yet, since she left the palace, she showed incredible aptitude in martial arts and fighting, and her teachers deemed her intelligence above average. While she is hopeless with a needle, I can proudly say that she can stab with a sword infinitely better than many of our soldiers. If you may have it in your heart to forgive such an obvious stray-away from our usual traditions, please consider using her skills, for she learnt a great deal and she wants to serve our country and the Emperor with her very brain and life.” her father pleaded, and it seemed like the Emperor was actually considering this move. “Very well, I understand your wish, and it makes sense, however, you will have to prove yourself in front of everyone. There are prejudices everywhere, and close to nobody believes in the resurrection of someone like Princess Pingyang or Lin Siniang. Should you prove them wrong, I shall grant you the title of Apprentice Detective. I believe you remember my sons here, the 3rd and 4th Princes – They, too, were here to volunteer to help solve a case in a province away from the palace, and you may join them.” The Emperor explained, making both the father and the daughter bow gratefully. “Your Majesty is kind and benevolent above all. I shall prove I am worthy of this position and make you and my father proud.” She spoke, and thus, the Emperor raised. “Today, you may rest, as you have come here from a long and tiresome journey, yet tomorrow, you shall be fighting the soldiers in training at the Academy, and depending on your performance, I shall make a decision.” Was the last thing the old man spoke, and then, he dismissed the young ones, as he wished to talk about the situation of the Army in the North-East province.

And so, the Eunuch guided them outside and guided her to the Palace of Everlasting Wisdom, which was awfully fitting for her, but she thought nothing of it, instead, quickly befriended the maids and had them tell her anything of relevance about life in the Palace.

But…Those two Princes…The Emperor said they were her old friends…But they were so grown up and looked so sharp and mature! How could that have happened? She still looks soft and youthful, while they look like hardened adults! How is that fair in any way? Not to mention…They’d be working together? On a journey, away from the palace? That’s insane! So exciting! …Hopefully.

That night, she slept like a baby, both eager and anxious for the next day’s challenge, whatever that may be…After all, she MUST get everyone’s respect, should she wish to have a nice life in the palace and not be constantly pressured into marriage or into becoming a concubine.

Y/N dressed in a nice, light blue dress, like those worn during the reign of the Empress Wu Zetian, since she found those kinds of outfits the best for martial arts, and styled the top of her hair in a simple bun tied in a blue ribbon, letting the lower part sway with the wind. Taking her sword in her hands, she unsheathed half of it, seeing the reflection of her beautiful eyes in it, and grinning, to hype herself up, she slammed the sword back and put it at her waist, rushing to the fighting area.

In the middle of the court, she bowed to the Emperor, who was there to watch the show, yet her gaze was nowhere close to him, but her eyes caught Yin Zhen’s ebony eyes watching her, and she could only smirk, very smug and proud of herself.

As she kneeled like a warrior in front of the Emperor, her eyes averted to His Majesty, as he started explaining what she had to do, as a few boys who must have been fresh out of the Academy, went on either side of her, in perfect sync, 3 on each side, 4 meters apart from her.

“I am aware that one must carry a sword to protect themselves and their allies, yet today, you must show that you are capable of doing so without using your blade in such a manner. Discipline, strategy, reflexes, wit and martial arts shall be what you will be tested on today. You may begin.” As he rose from his throne, he extended his hand up in the air, then abruptly let it fall to his side, as if to highlight the beginning of an entertaining show.

As soon as the loud “BEGIN” was heard from the echoing voice of His Majesty, the girl quickly made a few backward tumbles in a way to get out of the men’s way of harm, then got in a fighting stance, ready to take everyone out. The first 3 were easy to defeat, and ultimately, she grabbed the 2nd one’s arm and swung him around, kicking him into the 3rd, making the three of them fall to the ground – But then she got ambushed by the last three, and as she felt herself get grabbed by the light jacket over her blouse, she quickly twirled around, letting the attacker remain with the jacket in his hands, while she dropped to the ground, sweeping her leg over his own, making him fall to the ground. As she finished the 4th, she twirled around again, kicking the 5th in the jaw, then taking out the ribbon from her hair and choking the last one standing, and thus, she was standing tall surrounded by a pile of beaten up men who stood no chance.

However, no day is short of surprises, as she notices Yin Zhen’s sword get unsheathed and him walking towards her with an amused smirk, and she could only tsk in annoyance – This game of proving the others wrong seemed rather unfair all of a sudden – Going against a sword barehanded? Not exactly wise, she reckoned – And thus, she took out her own sword from her waist, extending it for the Prince to see.

“I believe what you are doing will go against the rules set by the Emperor, Y/N. Are you willing to point a sword towards the Crown Prince?” the 4th Prince chuckled very amused, but now, it was the girl’s turn to grin. “Who said anything about a sword? The Emperor told me not to use a blade, and as far as I’m concerned, I’m merely using its scabbard, correct?” she continued parrying the Prince’s swings with perfect accuracy, but she knew he wasn’t actually going full strength on her, she could feel it in the force behind each strike. “I’m not sure if I should be offended that you’re not taking me seriously in this fight, or if I should be concerned about the gold possibly getting whisked away.” She laughed merrily as they continued to dance the waltz of swords, each strike going harder and harder. “If it does, I will make sure the Imperial Blacksmith forges a much better sword for you, and the scabbard will be embellished fit for an Empress.” Their weapons were crossed while their faces were so close to each other that they could almost feel each other’s breaths, and their words, merely above a whisper, needn’t be any louder, for their conversation was meant to be intimate and away from anyone’s ears. “I’d be much happier if it was fit for a Prince.” She laughed in his face, ready to prepare for another strike, but somehow, the Prince’s hit made the scabbard fall off and rotate far away from their positions, looking at them as if mocking. “How rude and unfair of you, Princeling! How am I supposed to fight you now that I can only use the sword’s handle?” she shook her head in mock annoyance, as he sheathed his sword and stepped in front of her. “I win.” He spoke in a simple, teasing manner, flicking her forehead – An endearing and affectionate habit he used to do only to her when they were young and would sneak out of the palace to play around in the Plum garden. “You win nothing, Yin Zhen.” She scoffed, only to notice a glint of silver sparkling in the Sun, and realizing what it was, she jumped, twirling the sword around to pick it up by the blade’s edge, and stepping on his chest, she propelled herself in the air, hitting away a flying arrow sent into the Emperor’s direction. “…Was that planned too?” she asked, not even noticing the running blood coming from her hand. “No, it wasn’t. Father, are you alright?” the Prince ran to his father’s side, while the girl looked back in the direction from which the arrow was sent flying. “The five of you, don’t move! Guards, keep them still!” commanding the royal guards who obeyed her orders, she examined each of the protesting men who either cried out their innocence, or hollered it out. “You were the one who sent the arrow flying. You have a horizontal line across the middle of your fingers, which means you didn’t use a bow, since it would have attracted attention, but instead, most likely, a mini crossbow that many assassins use – Which makes sense, considering how the arrow is about half the size of a normal one. And the two of you are accomplices. You have the crossbow under your clothes – You’re not actually fat, you just stuffed your clothes to appear so, and you provided the arrows, there is a fragment of a coloured feather part which is used for arrows to fly properly.” She explained with ease, which made the Emperor and the other Princes gather around behind her, listening to her reasonings. “Yes, very well, that does make sense. Yin Zhen, Yin Zhi, what do you make of this situation?” the old man looked at his two Princes, who seemed to ponder the situation over, but came up with no other solution by the end of their brief investigation. “It seems to me Miss Y/N came up with the right solution, Father.” The 3rd Prince answered quickly, not wanting to stay there more than needed, but also being rather intrigued by what was happening. It wasn’t often that a court case would find itself before their very eyes so easily. “Very well, very well indeed.” The Emperor nodded in agreement, stroking his beard. “Father, if I may – I wish to express my opinion on Y/N’s

arrival here, at the Palace. I believe she will be the perfect Detective Constable. She expressed skills in combat, intelligence, tactics, wit and charm – I believe men will find it easier to confess to her, should they be found in a precarious situation. It will prove to be very useful in our mission in the Jiangnan province.” Yin Zhen’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts and spoke without realizing. “Jiangnan? That’s pretty close to Hunan, where I spent most of my time. I heard it’s a rather interesting and developed city. What’s the problem there?” she asked, and it was then that the Emperor truly decided to assign her the case. “There has been a string of rather bizarre murders, Young Detective, and I would like you and my sons to go investigate and put a stop to the injustice taking place. You will be on the road tomorrow, these two will show you the book with the written statements about each singular crime that took place. Rest assured, I will inform your father of your departure, and later tonight you will be provided with the imperial token and any weapon you may be in need of.” The Emperor told his scribe to write the declared Royal Decree and had his personal eunuch give her the Imperial Token that will ensure her access to any place or information that she may otherwise have difficulty reaching. “Your Highness is kind and benevolent above all. May Your Majesty live eternally.” Young Y/N kowtowed in front of the old man, who chuckled and patted her head before leaving the place, and with him, the rest of the crowd…Sans the two eldest princes. “I thought tigresses would grow with time, not regress so much. How amusing.” Yin Zhi chuckled, making light of the height difference that was now reversed. “It’s not my fault I was born in the wrong body, is it now? No matter now, I can accomplish the same things with no difficulty or impediment. A tigress will forever be a tigress, be it a cub or a celestial one.” She smirked at the older prince, who could only scoff and walk away. “Great seeing you again, Y/N. As annoying as always.” He grumbled, leaving his brother alone with her. “It may be my imagination alone, but I believe he became grumpier than ever – Correct me if I’m wrong, though.”Y/N shook her head in disbelief, only to get her forehead flicked once again. “And you are as reckless and airheaded as always. If I don’t take care of you, you’ll die before you realise. The Palace life is a harsh one, especially for a woman, be it one in the harem, or merely one with ties to anyone from the Imperial family. Don’t be foolish thinking you are exempt from harm.” Yin Zhen warned her with a sharp and serious tone – She almost couldn’t recognize him, remembering how much of an air head HE used to be, and she had to scold him every time he’d get hurt by being careless and falling down a tree, or falling in the lake. “You don’t have a fever, do you, Yin Zhen? I don’t recognize you! Since when have our roles been reversed, anyway? Besides, what’s the harm done to me, considering I could prevent any from coming to you and your Imperial Father?” Y/N shrugged simply, before getting her hand taken in his and realizing his concern – Her hand was actually slashed and bleeding from when she held her blade tightly in her hand to deflect the stray arrow ready to claim an important life. “You, dummy. Good thing I learnt from the Tigress how to take care of my cub, otherwise, this little kitten would have been much tamer in the future…And that wouldn’t be fun, would it?” The prince took a handkerchief from his pocket and held it tight against the wound, waiting like that until it stopped bleeding altogether. “Marigold ointment will take care of it. Hopefully, no scars either.” She muttered, looking down at her hand with resentment at the idea of scarring. “Even if it does scar, it won’t take away your beauty and worth in this world.” This comment – so charming, spoken in such a suave way, as he drew closer to her – Made her heart beat like never before, and she was sure her face must show the warmth she felt. “I

didn’t realise you’d become such a smooth talker. Little Yin Zhen sure grew a lot since we’ve last seen each other. Undoubtly, you must have a lot of ladies swooning over you. Ladies with skin as smooth and pale as milk, that is. You don’t have to make me feel better, I am aware of this society’s beauty standards, and how people look down on women with scars. But thank you. I will be going now. Make sure you are well rested for tomorrow’s journey…It will be a long one.” With a small smile, Y/N drew back her hand, taking the handkerchief with her as well – She couldn’t possibly return it all bloody, right? – And went back to her assigned palace, not giving the prince any chance to speak back or refute in any way. How could he possibly find the woman he’s been pining over for so many years – In any way, shape or form – Disgusting, just because of some scar? He knew – It was true – He knew how people were…But not him, and not when it came to her. For so many years since she’s been gone from his arms, he’s been thinking of her and her alone. He wasn’t like his elder brother, so dissolute and indulging in his own pleasures, as far away from the Imperial family as possible, while also ensuring his favouring to their father…But He was different. Yin Zhen WAS going to be the next Emperor, and he WAS going to marry Y/N, no matter what. He just got her back…No way in hell was he going to let her go again.

When he saw her again, he couldn’t believe his eyes – She grew up so much, she looked so beautiful, like a woman – It was only now that he saw her with different eyes, it wasn’t just the old fondness from their childhood…But now, his heart was beating faster looking upon her face.

Stars were twinkling brighter in her eyes, than on the bright sky of Summer, her gorgeous visage rivaling even the Moon Goddess Chang’e – And she was as stubborn and nonconformist as always, wearing dresses from so far back – The Tang dynasty, ages ago – And they suited her so well, he was mesmerized watching the loose fabric fly around her so graciously as she spun around so gracefully, swinging her sword and taking down her enemies with perfect precision and stance…

And her expression…Gods, her expression…

It reminded him of his own.

She oftentimes looked to be ruthless, stoic, sharp and unforgiving…And yet, every so often, when not surrounded by people, he would see her eyes soften to the littlest of things, be it a beautiful flower, or a cute puppy yapping at her, wanting to be petted and played with.

He saw her that night – She couldn’t sleep, perhaps? Or maybe it was the night coming faster, awakening the lovely moon, in her honour – She saw her next to the lotus pond, bathing in the silver light of the Deity, as her finger so gracefully glided over the strings of the zither that she played with such nostalgia, that he felt his own heart weep.

Why was she so sorrowful, he wondered. No person who lacks a certain degree of a broken heart would be able to play with such vibrating emotions the instrument that holds the soul of the player, and of the listener. The fourth prince felt connected to her – A heart to heart and soul to soul connection – Solely through the sounds coming from every pinch of the strings…

He knew he would never again feel something so powerful with anyone else. It was his mother who once told him so many tales of heroes saving princesses and falling in love, and yet, those stories never explained in such detail what either of them felt. It was clear to him now that those authors were never actually in love to begin with. God forbid men feel or act with any vulnerability towards the woman they vow to protect and cherish for the rest of their days.

He wanted – Oh, how much he needed – To go to her, to accompany her melody by playing the flute, for those songs are meant to be played together, as a couple, in perfect harmony – And yet, he was afraid that, as soon as he’d approach her, the little tigress would flee from him. He was aware of how frail and afraid she was of admitting she held a more romantic side, and yet, this very fear of her was what was causing her so much distress, even if she was aware of it or not.

Perhaps, this woman wasn’t just a tigress, but a fawn as well, choosing which side of her to show to the world, depending on what her heart and mind dictated…In a world ruled by men, being a deer would only get you to become dinner, so play the role of a fiery tigress and make everyone flee in fear.

It was the perfect strategy, clearly, and yet…

Yin Zhen never showed fear.

“I never imagined my first case would involve something so complex.” Y/N spoke, almost without realizing, as she went over the case file once again, bouncing absent-minded in the horse saddle. “We immediately sent word to the constables in Jiangnan so they won’t touch the body more than needed. Congratulations, your first case will have you look at something gruesome.”Yin Zhi mocked her, and yet, he was shocked hearing her laugh lightly. “That’s gonna be fun!” she grinned, trying to imagine the way she’d find the bodies and whether she’d be able to make heads or tails of everything. “I hope all three of the bodies will be left in perfect shape, otherwise it would be such a pity, don’t you think?” she mused, a confident kitten-like smile creeping on her face. “Any man who hears you speak with so much glee about dead bodies will flee for you. I’d be more careful about what I’d say out loud before it’s too late and I end up all alone, old and ugly.”The 3rd prince’s comment made his younger brother frown in anger, shooting him a warning look. He didn’t want the girl to become even more sorrowful than she already was. Not being the stereotypical feminine woman wasn’t as popular now as it was hundreds of years ago, when the bravest women were, in the end, praised and beloved by everyone, going down in history, tales of their bravery being sung at events all over the country. “Then…Think I’ll find a pretty woman? If I can’t find a man to love me, protect me and cherish me, like in those nice stories our mothers told us when we were young, then might as well become the warrior seeking a beautiful, young maiden who would willingly sooth my soul and tend to my wounds. Doesn’t sound half-bad, does it? Women are very beautiful, maybe I can find the appeal a man feels when seeing one, if I imagine it long enough.” She chuckled carefree, but the prince knew that, deep down, she was used to such harsh comments being made about her, and in her heart, she held no hope of a future with someone by her side. “As if that would happen.” The prince scoffed at her breeze-like comment, only for her to laugh at him, tauntingly. “What is it, Zhi Zhi? Afraid I’m going to be more popular with the ladies than you? With how rude you are, I think it’s safe to say I would win, if that were the case.” A tigress, a fawn…And a smirking fox. Yin Zhen wondered whether he would come to discover more spirit animals residing inside her heart – He was fascinated, and also, satisfied with how she turned around to taunt back his brother with such perfect ease, that it angered the elder one. “We shall see…” oh, look at that, the 3rd Prince actually took that as a competition starter – How very serious of him! “Enough bickering, you two, we have arrived.” The 4th Prince scolded those two as they trotted inside the city of Jiangnan, admiring the provincial beauty and simplicity of the place, until they were greeted by the main constable of the place, who guided them to their quarters, offering them information about each case, only for then guide them to each of them, in the order they were done.

“Good golly, I never would have imagined a human could end up so fat!” the girl exclaimed, her jaw dropped in horror at the mountain of a man that sat in front of a table, his upper body engulfing the wooden furniture with the layers of fat as he was hovering over it entirely. “Be more respectful of the dead, Y/N…”Yin Zhen sighed softly as he went ahead to look around the room. “I’ll wait for you outside.” The constable muttered, doing as he told.

The girl then put a veil on her face to cover the bottom half of it, protecting herself as much as possible from the possible diseases and, most of all, from the stench of rotten food and flesh. With help from the two imperial brothers, she had the corpse lay on the floor completely, so she could perform an autopsy and see the cause of death – Not only a failing heart, as it was completely engulfed with a scary amount of fat, but…His stomach was burst open, and a concoction of digested and undigested food was disgustingly splayed all around his entrails.

Clearly, he ate himself to death, and yet, she wondered how come the constable didn’t deem this simply a heart failure, considering his appearance? Perhaps signs of forced entry would explain everything – But why would this one be killed in such a way? Wouldn’t it be more satisfying to have such a glutton starve to death? P’haps, even more…Cruel?

Maybe it wasn’t a hate-crime after all, but a way to teach this one that gluttony wasn’t, in fact, good…A twisted way to teach someone a lesson – Don’t steal away the starving people’s food - Y/N realized that, what he may eat at one meal, would be something she’d need for a whole week, and the thought of it had her stifle her chuckle at the irony.

Glutton…Gluttony…Interesting concept. Truth be told, she never met anyone so unhealthily, so morbidly obese – Especially for food was scarce in many provinces, and while there was abundance at the Palace, not even there, did she see anything more than slightly chubby.

Perhaps people who stood out with their wrong-doings were to be eliminated. This one was already an outcast from the rest of the citizens of this place, nobody would miss him, so he was a fair kill.

“Did you find anything relevant around the room?” she asked as she got up and went to wash her hands from the disgusting body juices she had to dig into. “No signs of forced entry, however, the culprit was definitely sitting in the chair opposite of him. What did you find from the body?” the younger brother asked as they all left the room. “Mr. Constable, have you seen anything out of the ordinary in this city lately? A new person, an event, uhm…People acting weirdly, or I don’t know, anything that would stand out from the usual.”She asked, not yet answering the prince. “Nothing that I would think from the top of my head, no…Things have been normal for the past weeks…Until these tragedies started happening, so quickly, one after the other…” country constables really are useless, the girl realized, as she merely smiled at him and put her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, we’ll bring justice to the victims and this city. Until then, stay vigilant and tell us should you find out anything new.” Saying that, she decided to go on ahead to the next victim’s house, letting the running thoughts take over her mind.

Hurrying down the busy streets of Jiangnan, they found their way to the second house of the day – Once again, no signs of a forced entry – Yet this body was different. This man was built normally, so the chances of an accidental death due to natural causes was out of question. He was sprawled over his bed, his clothes dyed with his own crimson blood, his hands and feet impaled with golden ornaments, as melted gold was poured over his face, melting it, and in turn, killing him in such a gruesome way…And piles of golden ingots, silver taels and jewellery were piling over the rest of his body, almost suffocating him.

There was nothing to dissect here, the cause of death was obvious, so the last thing to wonder about was the reason for this atrocity.

So much wealth put everywhere on display…If this was the same person, then maybe…The lesson they wanted to teach this man was humility? Or…Altruism? Temperance? To give away his wealth to those less fortunate?

Perhaps this culprit thought he was trying to protect his city from these people who may taint it. Those who are too…Greedy…

Gluttony…Now Greed…

I wonder what the next lesson taught will be – Y/N thought to herself as she searched around the bed, throwing away all the riches from it, then finding a small, yet fat book that held stray specks of gold on its cover.

‘Bible’ it was called.

“I found one like this at the fat guy’s house, on the table. It certainly is the same killer, then.” Yin Zhi said, taking out the food-stained book from under his clothes. “…I’m onto something. Let’s go to the next one.” Y/N muttered, slamming open the door and bursting through it, going to the 3rd house.

This one, instead of being piled up with the obvious signs of their addictions, it was…Empty? Completely empty?

The victim was laid on the ground, on what looked like a comfortable bed with a pillow, but upon closer inspection, the person was heavily malnourished, looking like a rotting corpse, with its skin barely there anymore, and…

Hold up…

The corpse…Has a pulse…?

As Y/N touched her fingers to the veins on its neck, the corpse’s eyes shot open – They were blood shot, desperate, in complete agony - The girl let out a startled yelp as she fell back on the ground as she watched the…Victim’s chest heave up and down, a guttural scream let out as…The sown-together lips were torn open to allow the man to yell out his pain.

“What do we do?!” Y/N looked back and forth to the brothers, as Yin Zhen knelt and quickly slit his throat, making him go quiet. “Any complaints?” he muttered, watching the girl quickly shake her head. “What the hell was that…? Didn’t the constable say he was definitely dead? That means no pulse, no heartbeat, no vital function…Nothing! This wasn’t nothing!” putting her hand to her chest to calm down her breathing. “Someone wanted us to see him in this state. To act as a warning to us. They knew the constable here was good for nothing, and the culprit wanted to scare us away from this city. Too bad this won’t have the effect he so desired.” Yin Zhen scoffed as he brought his hand under the pillow, finding another book with the same name. “What a sadist…Whoever the killer is…Is sick. Very sick.” But…Why was this one killed? He was humble enough not to lavish himself in riches, not wasting food, or objects…Maybe his behaviour to other people was bad? Maybe he was a jerk? “Any idea about this one?” the 4thprince asked, as the girl shook her head. “No…This time, no idea. Let’s go out, I have to think.” She muttered, going out of the house, looking up at the bright sky and watching the fluffy clouds go by which way the wind wants them to. “I keep thinking on this…I have a feeling that…I read about this somewhere…Some long time ago. Someone is trying to teach these victims a lesson. Don’t be a glutton. Don’t be greedy. But…I can’t figure out what this one did…What did he do so wrong that he had to be induced in a coma and suffer so long…You could see his muscles, and they were in such a horrible state, from not moving…How could he have ruined this city that he deserved this punishment-lesson?” she tried to think out loud, hoping that somehow, the answer will come by itself.

As she walked down the cramped streets of this place, the two princes trailing down behind her, trying to make out their own theories, she got snapped out of her mind palace by the angry shriek of a woman, fighting a weird-looking man in front of a big house.

“You will never get us out of business, so leave already! Spread your mindless indoctrination in another city, you’ve already angered everyone else in this one!” the woman, very beautiful, despite the twisted expression of rage on her face, shouted at the man, who, instead of having matching anger…Looked rather…Serene? “Miss, what is the problem, please? May we help you in any way?” the girl rushed to the woman’s side, holding onto her to calm her down, which worked well. “Ah, yes, you can help me by getting that stupid foreigner out of our city! We never wanted him, but those useless constables let him spread the word of his false God around this place, and now, look at him! Walking around as if this is HIS country! The audacity!” she scoffed, before shaking her head and inviting the trio inside, which made Y/N realise this house was a brothel – In fact, a pretty rich one – “You three are new here. What brings you to our city? The blooming cherry blossoms, perhaps?” the woman, Ying Yue, asked them, as she poured tea for them. “We came here to investigate the series of peculiar murders that took place in this city…But I never imagined, in my life, I would see a foreigner in the flesh! My father and the professors I learnt under wanted me to keep a broad mind, so I am somehow familiar with some literature from Europe, and yet…This man looked…Out of it.” Y/N explained, taking a sip from the aromatic tea, as her eyes were fixated on the visage of the beautiful matron. “Ah, yes, him. His name is…Difficult to pronounce. Alexander, he insists on calling himself. He is from a different religion, worshiping this Deity called ‘God’, and he wants to convert us. He is truly shameless…He keeps preaching how we are all sinful and need divine retribution. Honestly, I don’t understand him at all…Sometimes, he starts talking in a weird language, and waves around that wooden cross of his. He’s creepy. And he’s trying to get our brothel to close down and all the women become nuns and repent.” She shuddered with indignation as Y/N gasped in realization. “Oh…Heavens…I think I know what’s going on…He carries around a book with black leather covers called “Bible”, correct? Does he have any copies?” the girl asked, feeling the fire of understanding surging through her bloodstream, remembering the three booklets found at each scene of the crime. “Gosh, yes, he does. In fact, he spent months translating it in Chinese and handing out copies to every household, and all that. We tossed it into the fireplace, but…I believe there are some who still have it.” The matron explained, and just then, Yin Zhi pulled out the three books from his bag. “Like these ones?” The prince handed the woman the books, but she refused to touch them, disgust splattered all over her face. “Yes, like those. I don’t know what written in them, as I said, I never bothered with them, but hopefully, they will help you in some way.” The matron sighed, as she heard many of her girls giggling, and looking back, they were on the floor above, leaning on the bannister, looking down at the two men bashfully. “You two, it seems my girls have taken a liking to you. Why don’t you go have some fun? It’s on the house. Miss, if you want, we have a few men too, very handsome.” The matron rose from the table, trailing her hands down the men’s shoulders, trying to allure them in. “Not bad…” Yin Zhi muttered, looking up at the beautiful young girls waving at him. “Ah…Hahaha…U-Uhm…Thank you, I’ll pass. Thank you for the offer, I-I have to go now. I’ll see you two at the inn. Bye.”With that, the young girl didn’t wait to see whether the 4th prince accepted the offer or not, instead, she bolted out of the brothel and continued walking around the city, admiring the light from the many colourful paper lanterns hung around the place.

Instead, for the remaining of the evening, and dead into the night, she hovered over the book, skimming through it, this time, more attentively for any key word, or phrases that may get her to understand what was going on.

And then, she remembered her own words – Sinful, gluttony, greed – she said to herself, and there, she found the meaning of those words.

The Seven Deadly Sins.

Pride, Greed, Envy, Wrath, Lust, Gluttony, Sloth.

That means…

The fat guy was forced to eat until his stomach exploded – That was Gluttony. The rich guy was literally buried under his own wealth – That was Greed The coma guy…He had nothing in his home, except for a bed…And he didn’t move for months on end… - That must be Sloth.

Pride, Envy, Wrath and Lust remained…

Lust?

LUST!

The brothel!

That’s why the Christianity envoy wanted to shut down the brothel! God didn’t see lightly any sin committed, and lust was a sinful indulgence!

She had to warn them!

As she ran out of her room, back to the brothel, she noticed smoke rising from it, as it was engulfed in flames… Shocked, Y/N ran inside the burning building, covering her face with her long sleeve so she won’t breathe in the smokes and die while trying to make rescue attempt. She bolted up the stairs, searching every room and evacuating the fainted women who didn’t have the time to leave…But did she really want to see them fainted, on the ground? But maybe seeing them would bring her a certainty that at least they aren’t in a place even more dangerous than this one.

But he saw them, and all her worries were bundled together in the pit of her stomach – The closest escape was through the window, even thought it was to far up, she was confident she could manage to drag them somehow, despite how heavy they were, to safety, outside.

Thank goodness I learnt martial arts – She thought to herself – As she picked the 4th Prince first, jumping down the window, then climbed back up for the 3rd prince to bring back to safety. She hovered over both of them, trying to find out if they breathed in too much smoke, since they passed out like that, as she coughed a bit to eliminate the smoke she inhaled, and thought how Yin Zhi seemed to be okay, but…Zhen Zhen wasn’t doing as brightly…He was barely breathing… So she attempted a procedure she learnt from the monks – To press on the chest at a patterned pace, and the lift the head up a bit and breathe air into their mouth – If it was a different circumstance, she would have been very flustered, considering their lips would touch, but now, she had no time to think twice, as she took deep breaths and exhaled, praying to the Heavens for him to wake up already.

And after a few procedures repeated, he slowly opened his beautiful dark eyes, and Y/N could only sigh, collapsing on his chest, breathing in relief.

“Thank Heavens you’re awake…I thought you were going to die…” she muttered more to herself than to him, before feeling a hand on the top of her head. “Thanks…” the prince spoke out in a tired voice before he, with some help, got in a sitting position. “Your clothes are ruined. And you’re covered in ashes. Come here.” Taking out a napkin once again, he cupped her cheek as he gently cleaned her face, as she looked away awkwardly. “What happened? Neither of you would get caught in a burning building. You could have jumped out of the window. I know you, of all people, wouldn’t get distracted by anything.” She asked, frowning and putting one of her hands over his, stopping him from moving his hand – And he did, shifting his gaze, looking right into her eyes – He could see the worry, the gentleness, the wonder…The love and relief – And the lingering feeling of her soft lips on his own was worth everything, and yet, he’d have rather taken the initiative and kissed her in a more fitting place. “The sake and tea we got served was drugged. We didn’t realise until it was too late. We thought at first it was only the alcohol, but the girls fainted faster than either of us. By the time we felt hazy, we thought it was from the alcohol, Yin Zhi is much more of a lightweight than I am…But when we smelt the smoke, we tried to get up, but found out we couldn’t. But how did you get here? I was sure you’d stay at home and analyse that book the whole night.” He spoke, and the girl cleared her throat awkwardly, chuckling and scratching the back of her head. ���So, uhm…That’s what I was doing…And then I realized what the crimes meant. All of them represented one of the seven deadly sins from the Christian Bible. Gluttony, Greed and Sloth being the ones already committed…And, well…Lust was one of them, and I remembered the missionary trying to close down the brothel. And since you were here, I was afraid the perpetrator might try something, attempting to get rid of his pursuers…And when I came by, the brothel was already aflame, neither of you was anywhere to be seen, the matron and many of the citizens were just standing by, screaming, but nobody was trying to put out the fire…I had to do something, you know.” She explained, unconsciously putting a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Give props to the tigress to figure out something like that and to be brave and reckless enough to risk her own life to save a bunch of people that don’t have anything to do with her.” The prince chuckled, only to see the girl’s brows furrowing. “You’re making it seem as if I did a bad thing. Besides…Don’t just say there were people who didn’t have anything to do with me, as if we are strangers to each other. It’s rude.” She muttered, getting up and turning to his brother and slapping his face. “Get up, Zhi Zhi. I know you woke up by now. Don’t just eavesdrop on people’s conversations, you, jerk.” “At least don’t hit so hard, damn…Don’t hit your future husband like that too, he’ll leave you.” The 3rdprince rubbed his now red cheek, only to have the back of his head slapped by his brother as well. “I don’t need to bother with a husband, anyway.” She muttered, walking ahead at the front of the brothel where the matron sobbing, hugging her girls who were crying as well – But at least they woke up, all alive and well – Unlike the crumbling building that couldn’t resist the forces of nature…Induced nature, that is.

The women jumped on their saviour, praising and thanking her for saving their lives, but Y/N’s eyes were glued on something else – The foreigner holding a Bible and a cross in his hands, as his eyes were fixated on the fire while his lips were constantly moving – Was he preaching, she wondered?

No matter – Her rage was bubbling inside her heart so badly that she pushed aside the women and stomped to the foreigner, yelling at him and picking him up by the neck of his shirt, shaking him roughly.

“HOW DARE YOU TRY TO BURN PEOPLE?! HOW DARE YOU KILL THOSE OTHERS JUST LIKE THAT?! YOUR RELIGION IS SUPPOSED TO BE ALL ABOUT LOVE AND CARING FOR YOUR PEERS, NOT ABOUT KILLING AND OPRESSION!” she screamed in his face only for the man to blink in confusion and fear, but…He didn’t seem…Guilty…?? “M-Miss, I’m sorry, I know I am a foreigner and I’ve been trying to convert people and show them how great our religion is…But I’d never kill! The Lord is against harming others, at all costs!” the foreigner tried to explain himself to the girl, but she didn’t stop until she punched him to the ground, only to stop abruptly. “…So…You’re claiming you are innocent? For all 4 crimes? Even though the concept of seven deadly sins is a Christian thing?” she muttered, looking down at him. “Yes, miss, yes! After all, everyone in this city could have read the Bible, I translated it in many books, and delivered them to all households. I made sure to do that for all of them!” Alexander explained himself, and the girl could only nod, seeing the innocence in his eyes. “…If that is true, then, you have my apologies for misjudging you and accusing you of such atrocious crimes. I am sorry that some evil-doer is using your religion is a misguided way, and speaking your God’s name in vain. I don’t believe there is any believer in any faith that would appreciate their belief being treated this way.” Sighing, the girl helped the man up, only for him to take both of her hands in his, looking up at her with delight in his eyes. “Miss, you understand what my religion is all about! I am so happy to see someone so open to new things! Miss, wouldn’t you consider converting to Christianity for the greater good? I would gladly guide you through the path of redemption and make sure no trace of wrath lingers in your blood!” the girl’s first thought was to snatch her hands away – Touching was an intimate thing only lovers should do, not someone like him! – And yet…Her mid was somewhere else, and it wasn’t until Yin Zhen came to slap away his hands that she came back to. “Don’t touch other people so lightly, foreigner, especially women. It’s an act of intimacy in our country, and it shouldn’t be engaged in unless both parties are familiar with. Better get more accustomed to our ways before you decide to act so freely.” Poison dripped from Zhen’s words as he put his arm protectively around the girl. “Well, what do you expect from foreigners, any way? Especially one so outspoken? They come here, trampling our lands, as if they own the place, then they take away our lands, our women, and then will demand to be kings. Tsk.” Zhi spoke, which made the girl snap her head up at the foreigner. “Alexander, I need your opinion! Just now, you said wrath lingered in my heart, correct? Other than wrath, there is only Pride and Jealousy left. Do you think there is any possibility that either of these two would be a victim to the Seven Deadly Sins criminal?!” the girl’s voice was evidently worried, thinking back at the brothel incident. “The culprit could have put the brothel on fire at any time, and yet, they waited until both Yin Zhen and Yin Zhi were there, and they were drugged, along with the girls. This can’t be just a coincidence, can it?” Y/N spoke out, worried for her two friends. “Miss, this one here reeks of pride and vanity, that much is obvious, while this one’s jealousy can be seen from miles away. Maybe people from around are used to such behaviour, it may be normal for you, and yet, from someone from abroad, with a different kind of lifestyle and society, everything is different. If you think either of you may be in danger, then please, do be careful, and please protect this city. It’s a beautiful place with beautiful people, but it’s been tainted by this killer’s darkness.”With a small smile, the foreigner left the place, as the girl’s hand fell to her side. “…Well, future Emperor, how does it feel to have escaped your first assassination attempt?” she asked dryly, walking back to the inn, while the other two were behind her. “Tsk, are you really going

to listen to that guy? Who does he call vain, anyway?” the 3rd prince scoffed, only for the other two to look at him with a bored expression. “Honestly…” they sighed in unison, not wanting to address the Envy part on Yin Zhen’s side – Why would he be jealous, anyway? And the foreigner only said that after the prince pushed him away from her…

The room was silent for the longest time, and they were ready to go to sleep, until the girl decided to go on the roof of the inn and look up at the moon, as she felt it helped her think better. Being alone always made her feel much better and to think clearer. The moon was full, and she could even see the bunny of Chang’e, the Moon Goddess, and she smiled, resting her chin on her knees.

“You shouldn’t be out alone.” The familiar voice of the 4th Prince came up from behind her, but she could only shrug simply. “I can take care of myself. You’re the one who got drugged and almost died. You were careless and distracted.” She didn’t look at him – In fact, she didn’t shift her gaze from the moon at all. “I admit my mistakes. I was careless. I hoped that I would find out vital information on the people around here – Brothel girls are always the best people to ask for dark secrets, since men are intoxicated and speak freely around them – Alas, all I found out was that the constable is a frequent guest there…But never as a client. They said he was concerned about their well-being. They also said the ones who died deserved to die, since they were dead beats. And the last victim was a lazy who never in his life worked, so his lesson was to contribute to society in any way.” The prince explained, but the girl already figured out as much. “You would know best about being intoxicated and being vulnerable around women, wouldn’t you?” she muttered softly, but her mind was in a complete other place. “Do you blame me for remaining there with my brother?” he asked, sitting down next to her. “No.” her answer was simple and blunt, but he could tell, it didn’t come from the heart. “You should.” He admitted his mistake without a second thought. “…You’re a man. That’s what you do. Besides, you should get used to having lots of beautiful women around you. You’ll be the Emperor one day. You have no choice.” She said in a cold, rather impersonal tone, not wanting to dwell further into this awkward and tragic discussion. “One man can only love a woman alone. His heart is his own, while his body is the country’s. Men who truly love more than one woman are feeble, and should not be trusted.” He explained softly, but the girl didn’t spare him any glance. “In Europe, a King has only one wife, who is the Queen…Only their child is legitimate and the heir to the throne. Any…Mistake the King might do is swept under the rug, and the bastard is hidden from the world, or even killed. And the Queen…The poor Queen is all alone. Her sole role is to bear children and continue the lineage. They are not allowed to do anything, while the country abuses her body and soul, but the King can do anything he pleases, for the whole power is in his hands. Meanwhile…Here, the Emperor is forced to have multiple women as wives, and all can bear legitimate heirs…And yet, ask any woman, and you will see just how lonely and desperate for affection they are. They are not truly loved…But the Emperor goes to them when he remembers them…And sometimes, doesn’t even stay the night. The visits are brief…And when she grows old…She is forgotten, just like a wilting flower. I wonder…Which fate is more cruel? And also…Why should it be cruel at all? The Sun and the Moon are both beautiful, and yet, all alone. Maybe it’s better to be alone than heart broken.” She sighed, getting up and turning to leave, only for the man to stop her by embracing her from behind. “Y/N…Can you feel my heart beating? This heart belongs to you and you alone. It has been that way since we were children. I won’t deny, what you said is true in its whole entirety, but I never felt and thought the same way about a woman as I do for you. I am a man of my word, Y/N, and I vow to you – I vow on this country, and on my name as the next Emperor, that to me, there will never be anyone more important to you. So please, allow me to protect your heart, and I shall gladly give you mine for you to hold. Please trust me as much as you did when you let me catch you whenever you’d jump from the top of a tree, or when you’d find out a secret from your spying around the palace, and you couldn’t help but tell it to me, and me alone. I am yours for the rest of my life…So in turn, be mine, and mine alone.” His embrace tightened, and the girl felt hotter and hotter, her face became flustered, and she could feel her heart beating faster from emotion…And worry. “You are asking a great deal, you know, don’t

you? Something like this can’t be given away so lightly. It’s my heart, and I have only one. Only I know how to protect it…If I give it to you…Any wrong move can make it fall to the ground and shatter. And trust me, there is no remedy for a broken heart. What will you do then…My dear Zhen Zhen?” the term of endearment that she hasn’t used since they were children…How melodious and loving it sounded…The little fawn came back to him. “I would never let that happen. If it falls, I will fall with it, so I can catch it before it reaches the ground. If water rains on it, I will cover it with my own self, so it won’t get wet. If it’s too hot, I will fan it myself, and if it’s too cold, I will make sure to warm it until it’s not trembling any longer. So trust me, just one more time, and I promise you, you will never regret it.” He kissed her temple softly as his hands reache her own, intertwining his fingers with hers – He could feel her trembling softly – He knew the effect he had on her, and of her conflicting thoughts. “…Let me think on it, and I will tell you my answer by the time we reach the capital. Until then…Let’s catch the culprit and be rid of this pestilence. Actually…Let’s visit the constable, for a change. I believe that…He is not as innocent as he seems…And his uselessness may be just an act. If you can’t trust a constable, then who can you trust, the saying goes. So, what do you say? Are you in?” she turned around, failing to meet his eyes, but she could see his smile…As beautiful and confident as ever. “Let’s catch him.” He nodded, and together, they went around the house, their sword in their hands, carefully, and they were going to meet at the back of it, while they investigate every little bit of it – And yet, by the time the prince got to the back…There was no sign of the girl at all. “Y/N? Where are you?” he tried to look around for her…And yet…The only clue that indicated the girl was ever around this place was the blue ribbon that used to hold her hair up.

However, the darkness of the night became an even darker abyss for the prince as well, as he was hit in the head with a metallic object, which had him hazy enough to be dragged into the warehouse just behind the constable’s house. There, he got tied to a chair in the back, as the place was illuminated by a bunch of paper lanterns – And then he saw her – In the same state as him, only she seemed much…Out of it?

“What did you drug me with?” her voice sounded like a drunk man – Slurred and groggy – And yet, his eyes were only set on the small, shiny object in the constable’s hand. It was foreign, and strange…It was…Weird. “It matters not what I did to you, Miss Detective. What matters is that here, you and your dear Prince will face your demise!” the constable, Rui, grinned creepily at her. “…A constable from hell. How unlucky for the people here. Why bring us here?” she continued asking, trying to keep a grip on reality. “Once the verdict is done, I will execute the law. Imperial Detective Constable Y/N. You protect the law. But what have you done wrong? Go on, tell me. I know you know. That friendly foreigner already told you.” He insisted, crouching down to her level. “…My heart is filled with Wrath.” She muttered, feeling her head swimming and spinning in a vertigo mixed with a hurricane. “Yes, good, good, the sinful wench acknowledges her evil-doings! Then, you know that I have to kill you, just as I killed the others! They only brought misfortune to our beloved city! And you…You are the worst of them all. Wrath is the reason everything good gets destroyed. Women, of all people, should be gentle, calm and understanding. You? You behave like a mad war criminal who seeks blood alone!” he screamed in her face, as she could only roll her eyes at his stupid allegations. “Oh, spare me the bullshit. You are the one who bent the law, punish yourself first. You are stupid.” She groaned, feeling a headache creeping. “SHUT UP, BITCH! Who do you think you are, speaking like that to me?!” he said, slapping her face and snatching away the Imperial Token given to her by the Emperor. “You think if you have this token given away from that conceited fraud you call an Emperor, you will be protected from anything? NO! In fact, you and your two silly princes just signed a death sentence coming here! But, alas, I couldn’t do away with them when I wanted to, you just HAD to folly my plans! Very well, then, I shall do away with you first, while he watches you physically feel the very same wrath you inflicted upon this world!” and thus, he took a syringe and, despite all her struggling, she was still bound to the chair, and he had no problem injecting her with more of whatever that horrible liquid was – It made her even hazier than before, and her vision became blurry – Not even by straining, could she see well in front of her anymore – And it made her panic, trying to breathe faster, as she felt the cold metallic barrel of the weapon placed cruelly on her forehead – It only made her skin feel even hotter than it already was. “So, I’m guilty…For being alive. For trying to save people. And you…You are…Innocent. You are a hero…For killing. You are no God. You have no right to take away the lives God gave to those people. You are not the Judge, nor the Executioner. If you so firmly believe in Christianity, you would know that God hates no one – In fact, he loves all he created, equally – And would never approve of such senseless killing. You just chose to pick apart a few paragraphs that suited your narrative… And you went with it, using a foreign Deity as your scape goat. You are absolutely pathetic and a sorry excuse of a man and a constable. You should be ashamed of yourself.” Her words shocked the prince, but also made him afraid for her – Unlike her, he could see the twisted look of anger on his face – And he could anticipate his next move – As he saw the culprit strike down the girl once again, with such force that the chair tipped over and she fell on the ground with it. “I shall now pass my verdict to this witch! Those who are foolish and arrogant are unreasonable. It is from excessive arrogance, for deceiving the holy court and committing falsehood…I declare Y/N, the Imperial Detective Constable, to be executed at exactly 2:00 in the morning.” He declared, looking at the sand falling down in an hourglass, and leaving the room just briefly. “Yin Zhen…Is there any way out for us?”Y/N asked, hoping she was loud enough for the prince to

hear. “Yes, there is. I just need a little more time. Y/N…Do you know what that metallic object was?” he asked, trying to cut away the ropes with a stray nail he found on the chair. “It’s a gun. Horrible European invention. Honestly…I’m so tired. I just…Want to rest for a while…And get this over with…I want back home…I want to see the mountains in Hunan again…And the flowers bloom. I want to play in the river and catch fish…And pick fruit from up the tree…And make wine and cakes…And have them with you….Yin Zhen?” she let her head back on the chair’s seat, looking up at the wooden ceiling, as she sighed deeply. “Let’s get the hell out of here, I’m so done with sins and whatever.” And thanking herself for training to be flexible, and that the ropes were tied as neatly as they should have been, she bent down enough for her tied up hand to reach into her hair and pull away the hair ornament that had a very sharp needle, so she could cut away her restraints with moderate ease.

However, as soon as she got up and tried to take a step forward…She stumbled and almost fell down. “Is this what it’s like to be drunk? Because if it is…I hate it.” She groaned, gripping her head, as everything began to spin in around her at an even faster pace, so badly, that she had to catch onto something. “Y/N, look out!” the prince yelled at her, as the constable came back, ready to pounce on her, but she turned around, slamming her needle hand into his flesh, as she tried to pull away his gun-hand from her as much as possible.

However, the needle was very old, and it broke from all the commotion – Her drugged self was none the better either – And with just a bit more strength put into it, the constable wrenched his gun arm from her grasp and he punched her to the ground, knocking out the air from her lungs. It really pissed her off, and she wanted to rip him apart limb from limb, but the drugs were too strong still to allow her to do anything that she wanted to do.

As she struggled to get up, she heard the unfamiliar sound of the gun cocking, and then, a demonically loud explosion – Was that the sound of the gun shooting? She wondered, and yet, why didn’t it hurt her? Why didn’t she feel anything? She was sure that, should he shoot, he would shoot her – He wanted her to be in pain and feel the physical consequences of implied wrath.

“Y/N, are you alright?!” ah, that’s Yin Zhen calling out her name like that! And he was struggling…Yes, he must be wrestling the killer. “Yeah, I’m good, but be careful with that gun! One shot and it could kill you!” she called back, and got on her knees as soon as she heard the sound of the heavy, metal object fall to the ground.

As she heard the two men struggling to take the other down, she searched around almost blindly for the gun, and after some time, she finally managed to catch a hold of it, and with shaky hands, she properly held it in her hands, the barrel pointing forwards. The killer was dressed I dark colours, while Yin Zhen’s whole outfit was a bright gold, so, as Y/N strained her eyes to see better, she took a deep breath and pulled the trigged – And then static – Her ears were ringing, and she groaned, the gun falling from her hands as she gripped her head, covering her ears, hoping the horrible ringing noise would stop already.

“Yin Zhen, are you okay?!” she called out, struggling to get back to the shaky reality, hoping the drug’s effect would go away faster already. “…Yeah. You killed him. It’s finally over.” He sighed, going to her side and picking her up bridal style, leaving the place and going back to the inn. However, instead of going back inside, the prince made a detour, and chose to go to the highest hill, where the flowery trees were untouched by the city. “How did you know where to shoot, despite being drugged and not seeing well?” he asked, very curious, as they sat down on the grass, at the bottom of a tree. “…I may sometimes make fun of you for wearing such bright and colourful clothes…But if it was Yin Zhi, I wouldn’t have been able to pick apart the two silhouettes. So, to answer your question…Pure luck, I guess.” She shrugged, sighing and leaning her head on his shoulder, looking up at the moon, seeing it fall down, as the dawn was beginning to come, and the sky was painted in the most beautiful colours there were – And even better, her vision was beginning to clear up. “Let’s hope we won’t have to deal with anything foreign again. This was more of a drag than it should have been.”The prince said, and the girl could only grumble in agreement. “Ah…Right. Uhm…This…It broke. I don’t think it can be repaired anymore.” She muttered sadly as she took out the broken hair pin from her pocket. “This…I didn’t realise you still had this. It’s been so long since I gave you this pin.” He gingerly took it in his hands, but it wasn’t sorrow on his face – No, instead, he was smiling, realizing the feelings she had for him were as strong as ever. “…It’s the only piece of jewellery I wore since then.” Her voice was soft, the little fawn was brave, and speaking. She was honest with herself, with her heart…And with him. “No matter. I can give you any jewellery you want. This was old and I’m surprised it lasted as much.” He chuckled lightly, but the girl shook his head, confusing him. “…I don’t want any jewellery, Yin Zhen. You don’t get it. This…You picked this, thinking of me. You wanted this hair pin to be mine. To wear it. You thought it suited me. You thought it would make me think of you…And it did. And I only wore this one, and every day. I knew it would keep me safe…So I put it on again just before approaching that house. Guess your heart will always protect me. So, you understand? I don’t want just any jewellery. I want a piece of your heart, soul and thoughts to be in anything you give me, otherwise, it’s completely worthless to me.” She explained, snatching back the pieces of the broken accessory, making the prince smile fondly at her. “Very well, I understand what you mean, and I know just what to do. So, for the first gift I will give you…Have this jade pendant. I had it made for me a long while ago. It’s been mine, so, it’s a part of me. And now, I give it to you, to watch over you and protect you. I held it on my sword’s scabbard, I think it suits the black and gold of it very well…And so will yours.” He declared, taking both his and her swords, and trading the two pendants on each sword. “And I shall take yours, as a gift, so I can have a piece of your heart with me as well, wherever I go and you’re not next to me.” His teasing smile crept on his face as he heard her chuckle, snatching her pendant from his hand, tying it to his sword by herself. “That’s much better. It counts when the other gives it to you themselves, dummy.” She let him hold her to his side, as they watched the sky in silence.

When morning finally came, they got up, ready to wake up a very grumpy 3rdPrince, then went to the brothel matron to tell her they will be leaving, and who the real killer was, so they can find themselves a new law enforcer…This time, not a homicidal one.

“Are you sure you won’t be staying one more night, cutie? I mean, we didn’t even have the time to get acquainted with each other…It’s pitiful.” The woman whined, but the prince was indifferent. “There is only one woman alone who owns my heart.” He chuckled, waving the girls goodbye as they got on their horses and went back to the capital. “Very smooth, Princeling.” The girl laughed at him, kicking the horse to go faster, almost as if she was challenging him for a race. “I know what I want in this life.”He declared, and for the remaining long journey, they’ve been teasing each other enough for the 3rd prince to curse them regularly…More so than usual.

“I am very proud of the three of you for solving such a horrible crime. And to think the constable himself was the perpetrator all along! To attempt to commit such a horrible act of regicide…I am glad he got killed by his own weapon.” The Emperor sighed, stroking his beard and shaking his head in disbelief and disappointment. “Father, without Y/N, we couldn’t have done it. She played the crucial role in all the mystery-solving and having the courage to fire such a dangerous and strange contraption. It was lucky she was versed enough in foreign culture and literature for her to pick up on the hints given by the killer at each crime.” The 4th Prince praised the Detective girl, who merely cleared her throat awkwardly. “Your father will be very proud of you when I tell him of your brave deeds! I will have to think of a reward for you, but if you have something in your mind, do tell, and anything shall be granted.”The Emperor spoke, dismissing them. As they bowed, ready to exit the room, the girl smirked, turning around playfully. “I want to marry your son.” She laughed, running away from the Palace of Mental Cultivation, back to her own small place, leaving the two princes and the Emperor to blink and gasp in shock at her boldness. “About time.” Yin Zhen huffed, smirking, as he rushed to catch up with her as well. “Those two are such idiots…But I guess…Together, they will be good rulers in the future. Don’t you think, Father?” the 3rdPrince smirked in amusement, looking out at those two. “This youthfulness and open-mindedness is sure to be a great addition to this country in the future. Until them, let them be children at heart, for just a little while longer.” The Emperor chuckled whole-heartedly, closing his eyes and reminding his own youth, as it was so long ago.

Back at her palace, she hid behind the heavy drapes as she quickly and very skillfully fidgeted with a red rope – She’s been practicing it for a long time, and by now, she could say she was sort of an expert at this – And before she realized it, the drape was strongly pulled away, and in front of her, an amused prince towered over her, not caring about the poor maid’s pleas to get out.

“Found you.” He watched carefully as he noticed her face raise, and her eyes directly look into his – She got more courage, this fawn – He wondered if she really was just a sweet fawn anymore, or if another spirit animal found its way inside her heart. “Found me.” She mused, holding up the red knot for him to take. “This…This is the Love Knot, isn’t it? I’ve never seen it before.” He spoke, taking it from her hands. “And now, you give it to me. When did you even have the time to make something so intricate and complex, anyway?” he asked, looking at it with adoration. “I practiced it a lot when I was in the mountains, training. And besides…You sure took your sweet time getting here. Were you really so stunned by my statement that it took you so long to move?”she teased him, only for the man to quickly cup her face and kiss her – Her lips were as sweet as the last time they touched, and yet, now it was a proper kiss, and now, he felt her slender, small hands over his, as she deepened it with even more love, not wanting to let go of him any time soon. “I’m not the only one who loves to surprise.” The prince let out a soft, content breath, as he watched her eyes sparkle brighter than the moon itself…And she looked very much kissed – And her lips…They were plump, and in very need of more attention. “Clearly.” The corner of her mouth sprung upwards, very amused by his statement. “So, princeling, if your Father decides not to kill me after the stunt I pulled at the palace…Then, you got your answer. But, be very aware, I am not afraid to commit regicide on you, should you be a jerk to be at any time, understood?” she glared at him, more or less seriously, as she grabbed the front of his clothes, dragging him down to her level. “Crystal clear, darling.” He chuckled, nodding in understanding. “Good. Then, kiss me again.” She ordered, and he could only comply. “Any time, Y/N. Any time.”

[mikaze-discord]

Quartet Night: Love letters

Annnnnd these are the love letters written for Quartet Night!!!

Please enjoy under the cut~

REIJI KOTOBUKI

From Anon:

I've always been drawn to characters with complex (and fairly dark) personalities, so liking Rei-chan was honestly inevitable for me.

He looks like a very bright and cheerful character at first, which he is, but sometimes that part of him is a little misleading because, in actuality, he's a character that holds a lot of negative feelings about himself due to a past that he can't seem to move on from. He holds a lot of those feelings to himself because he doesn't want to burden anyone else with them. He's a reliable, cunning, and ultimately selfless character that chooses to shoulder a lot on his own out of his infinite care for others, and perhaps a secret sense of atonement, all hidden behind his bright demeanor and goofy smile, and it's endlessly interesting to me.

Besides the duality of his personality, he has a lot of other endearing quirks to love about him. He loves his mom a lot and is a mama's boy. His old-man jargon and catchphrases never fail to amuse (I still can't get over the way he says "my girl"). His obsession with anything even remotely British is something my APH England phase can relate to. His style of music brings a lot of pleasant feelings of nostalgia for me, and his pretty voice suits them a lot. And most of all he's just a very good boy overall. I rate 99999 out of 10 would love and support him and also maybe pay for his therapy because god knows he needs it. Happy anniversary!!

From another anon: 

Would you like to hear a story? You do? Very well then, may this story be one you enjoy.

What do I like about Reiji kotobuki? A Lot of things actually!

Well, I've always really liked Reiji as a character as he seemed to be one of the more interesting characters to me, due to how complex he is with his backstory and general just personality.

I have always really enjoyed how Reiji just solves problems too? Like he is just such an outgoing person who deserves all the support!!!

Like the best word I can use for Reiji is just, unique. Everything about him is just so Reiji. From the way he talks, to his nicknames or even his texting style. Like have you seen how many people use emoticons when texting as Reiji? It's just so him.

I like his way of thinking too! I feel like some of the interactions in the games are just so interesting, just seeing Reiji’s point of view. How he deals with a sort of survivor’s guilt and all of that.

Personally, some of my most memorable roleplaying moments were watching a Reiji rper in action, like just seeing them interact and flow so seamlessly with the other characters was just so fascinating to wee baby rper me. Such a large part of playing Reiji is just how you flow with the people around you and comedic timing. I have so many funny moments where Reiji was just interacting with people and it was just so inspirational (?) like I couldn't stop the smile on my face. I had learnt alot from them. I still consider them my roleplaying senpai almost! I don't talk to them anymore but I really had an amazing time just seeing their spin on the character.

I don't find him to be a romantic partner towards me nor do I see any of the characters in that light, but I've always found Reiji as such a personal character. Not even just towards me, like even with other utapri stans. The most relatable character always seems to be Reiji.

I've always been pretty similar in many aspects to him and I often find myself relating to him in numerous ways like his vibe is just relatable! I have often found myself trying to make other people laugh and have fun that many times I'm spreading myself thin and feel unappreciated...Reiji really helped with that.

This is where i start getting into the really personal stuff LOL feel free to skip if you dont wanna hear the angsty backstory.

I had really come to love Reiji when I had just...hit a low. I had a group of friends who I enjoyed hanging out with and just talking to, but they weren't very good friends per say. I often had to schedule every activity we did and I spent days and nights trying to think of concepts that might be fun. They took it for granted.. I had spent 4 months trying to make a game for them, and they had constantly pushed back times that we would play it. Using excuses to not play it, without telling me out right what they did not like or even why. The site I used was later taken down without notice and thus I had lost all my progress. Later, they had mentioned how they would like to play it except that later ended up being two years later. I really wish I could've solved things with that friend group like Quartet Night did but that didn't happen. That is when I started seeing things Reiji’s way? Not to say that it was the same or similar scenario to Reiji but I had just associated it with him.

RANMARU KUROSAKI

From Anon:

Ran is such a fun character! He sounds like a "rough outside, soft inside" kind of character, but his roughness is more like an integral part of him and it's through it that he shows he cares rather than setting it aside. That's what made me want to rp him. I also like how he is such a strong guy who's always determined to do his best in everything he does despite so much having gone wrong in his past. And it's very satisfying to see him form bonds and start to trust people.

From @mikaze-san:

Originally, my favourite Utapri boy was Ai, and it had been the robot boy for several years upon entering the fandom. In fact, it only switched to Ranmaru sometime late last year but regardless, I would still die for this man. Part of the reason why I switched is because I’ve always been a fan of Suzuki Tatsuhisa and I have a huge bias towards any man who wears nail polish without fearing being “feminine” because fuck gender roles.

As someone who studies fashion, I think Ranmaru is very coordinated and confident when it comes to portraying himself that way. He knows he’s not very good at expressing his emotions and utilises his passion for rock and playing the bass to portray those feelings through his songs. It’s also incredibly inspiring to know that he bounces back from pretty much anything considering his backstory and the stuff he deals with in the game/anime.

But my main reason for loving Ranmaru so much stems from the fact that I admire him a lot and want to be more like him. For a long time last year, I got to roleplay as Ranmaru in a few Utapri groups and through those experiences, I gained a better understanding and appreciation of the characters that I wrote for. In some weird way, by highlighting his flaws, character progression and how he dealt with different emotions, I ended up providing insight into how I dealt with similar issues by looking at them from a 3rd person perspective.

I used to be very shy and was very shut off from friends and family, and due to this I’ve always admired people in my life or fictional characters that are so confident in being who they are. Ranmaru particularly struck that chord in me because his bluntness knows no end. He’s very opinionated and doesn’t fear confrontation, in most cases being the one to provoke it. He speaks his mind openly without being overly anxious of the consequences. This is something that I feel is especially relevant today with being your authentic/unapologetic self is such a trend.

It’s something I’ve also noticed with having met people in or outside of this fandom, the notion of idolising a fictional character containing traits that we want to see in ourselves. Which made me think about a lot of my favourite kinds of characters which at the end of the day all boil down to sharing one similar trait: Being a bitch.

And in Utapri, Ranmaru embodies that. So naturally it’s very easy for me to idolise him.

(Tldr: I like his bitchy attitude.)

AI MIKAZE 

From Arashi:

It's hard to put into words why I love Ai Mikaze, perhaps it's because I'm subconsciously drawn to him, maybe it's because his hair and eyes are my favorite color, maybe it's because his voice is that of an angels, there are many reasons why I love him. I couldn't tell you a definite, "These one or two reasons are the entire reason I love him", but I'll try to sum it up.

I grew to love him by admiring his personality, his smile, his determination to reach his goals, everything about him made me happy. He's strict and a little scary at times, but when he sees people caring for him, he becomes happy and in a way, sentimental. He's not sure how to explain the way he feels, but he tries. I think I admire how he holds all the little things precious to his heart as he learns about them, and he wants to understand how to care for others and how they care for them in return. Even after six years, he still remains the most dear to me. I think that he now has a sentimental value to me, because even if I 'loved' another character more for a while, I will always come back to Ai. Ai deserves the world, and I'd give it to him if I could. He'll always be special to me, and I think that he very much deserves that.

From Maronda: 

My love for Ai started after I found Shining Live by chance and started to play. At first I wasn't particularly attached to any of the characters and decided to go back and watch the anime to maybe remember some context other than who Starish was. When I got to the episode focused on Ai and his "secret" I was absolutely thrown off by it all. I ended up feeling like I had so many questions and I knew that the anime would give me little to no answers, so I frequently turned to rambling on the internet about it. Eventually, this fixation on weird things about him seemed to turn into a clear fondness for him, and friends made me realize just how much I liked him. Knowing the cold and often strange aspects of his personality was due to something out of his control was something I resonated with as someone on the autism spectrum. He reminded me of some of the ways I used to think and behave.

I also began to notice other things I loved about him. Things like how soothing I found his voice, the pleasant shade of light blue in his hair and eyes, how ridiculously pretty he is... but the best things are the endearing parts of his personality. Though he's somewhat harsh, he's still entirely genuine. His curiosity is absolutely precious and his occasional awkwardness in expressing emotion or understanding the emotions of others made me empathize with him. And if you look at the Ai in Shining Live and compare it to the Ai in the anime and games... he really has changed a lot and grown as a person. He now seems so much gentler and understanding, and he clearly values the friendships he has now too! I think he's a wonderful character and ever since friends of mine encouraged me to selfship I've essentially been in love with him, but it also makes me happy to see other people appreciate him for other reasons as well. He's just so lovable!

CAMUS

From @uta-no-fakku-sama:

At the very beginning of my UtaPri interest, Camus never really caught my attention. That is until he became my first My Only Prince UR. I’ve come to appreciate him a lot more ever since, and now he’s become my favorite QUARTET NIGHT member! Along the way, I learned more about him and realized he’s one of the more complicated characters to understand. Nonetheless, I absolutely adore him. I tend to tease and make fun of him a lot, but deep down I truly do like him a whole bunch!

From @/waddamaloooon on twt: 

A little Camus appreciation post

(alternatively known as; how this guy managed to harshly take my heart and step on it like the gumin I am.)

Hello, this is Suikamaru, here to share a tiny story of why I, and eventually you, love Camus Rondo Cryzard.

At first glance, his looks appealed to me, but not his behavior (and ironically enough, his voice) so I didn't bat an eye on him. I've always been on a neutral leaning to dislike opinion on Camus, which is quite understandable because have you SEEN the way he acts. Unfathomable.

…..To a Young Suikamaru, that is.

I've grown, so naturally I've changed preferences regarding characters, ikemen, and who to stan and who to avoid like the plague. I will lie if I said that I expected to like that blonde confectionery devouring machine at any point of my life.

But it did happen so who are we fooling here.

It dawned on me that Camus is the type of character that you cannot appreciate unless you go in depth into his lore, backstory, and see him for who he really is. Because then everything else will make sense. And that never happened in my case until I started roleplaying as him.

I realized that he's not just a two faced, sweet toothed mean man. He's a perfectionist, someone who's always been raised since his childhood days to be nothing less than complete, who has locked on his heart and emotions to devote himself completely to the purpose given to him. He has the looks and brains for what though? He should be a little stupid honestly.

But his intelligence gave him the complexity that he just needed for his characteristics. Because as aforementioned, he's not someone to easily like or fall in love with. And I think that's quite rare in characters, and very much appreciated due to the fact it gives the fans a chance to not actually stay on a flat level of knowledge regarding their favorite characters.

I've slowly started to see myself in some aspects of him, which was the number one factor of liking him. Then came the Maeno magic when I realized Camus shares the same VA as another character that I love as well. (Hamelin, from SinoAlice.) From then, everything went downhill.

In a good way. I think..

Well, that is all from me, please read about this handsome man and appreciate his hard work both as an individual and as an idol. There is SO much to him that's p much overlooked and I'm getting broke from spending my money on his living expenses rent free in my head. Take him off my head.

[pictureamoebae]

Eternal thank yous, and news!

I want to say thank you so much for your kindness and understanding yesterday, to everyone who sent me a message and to everyone who didn’t but had a warm thought for me. Life is very difficult for many of us at the moment, and sometimes what feels like a never-ending struggle to just get through each day can suddenly turn into a bit of a crisis, and when that happens we need a little space and to re-calibrate.

I spent the evening watching Landscape Artist of the Year (really recommend this, and Portrait Artist of the Year -- wonderfully lovely shows that just make me feel wrapped up in a blanket), drinking hot chocolate, and eating chocolate biscuits, and despite a rocky start am feeling a little renewed today.

So what’s the news, I hear all 4 of you ask. Under the cut, because who wants to read stuff, amirite? (It’s about my Patreon, if you’re curious as to whether to click.)

Long ago I stated my commitment to always keep my TS4 content free for everyone, and that will always continue to be the case. Despite that, people kept pledging to me on Patreon for some reason (I never collected on these pledges), and others from time to time expressed a desire to support me in some way. 

I find the whole concept weird, because I just make the things that I enjoy making out of a strange and chaotic desire to Do Stuff. And I’m not even very consistent. Nevertheless, for fear of being attacked by absolute throngs of 6 or more of you positively belting me with your wallets I have decided to introduce feel-good tiers to my Patreon, for those of you who are so moved as to think supporting me is a good idea (you’re very odd but I love you).

I in no way at all ever expect anyone to join one of the tiers if they don’t absolutely want to out of some curious and misplaced sense of being amazing. And as I said, my content will remain free to everyone because everyone deserves 300 badly-recoloured walls and overly-cc-stuffed builds in their game. Everyone.

I offer nothing other than the warm glow of recognising you are an Extremely Special Person, although for higher tiers (which are experiments in seeing if there is anyone absolutely weird enough to want to pledge that amount) I do offer the chance to suggest builds that will make it onto my Big List Of Builds I One Day Hope To Make, and for the upper-most tier (which I never, ever expect anyone to pledge to because it’s ridiculous, but again, an experiment) a build made to your specifications. Rubbish benefits, I’m sure you’ll agree. I wouldn’t pledge to me. (This is how you sell yourself, right?)

I have sent messages to those kind, misguided souls who had already pledged on a per-creation basis to tell them of the move to a per-month tier system. I thought I would be able to cancel their pledges myself so they don’t find themselves in a situation they weren’t expecting, but it doesn’t appear to be possible. I’ve made it clear I absolutely understand if they need to cancel their pledges (which I never previously collected on, as I said), and I apologise to anyone for whom this is an inconvenience. If there is another way to deal with this, please let me know because I don’t want anyone to find themselves in a situation they didn’t expect. I’d be pure fumin’.

I chose GBP £ because that’s where I’m based, and of course now everything looks weird and un-rounded in dollars, which is probably what most people will see first. I’M SORRY. I’m old and tired and technology is an eternal frustration.

Here are the ridiculous tiers, for those who want to save themselves a click through to my Patreon. Don’t get excited. They are rubbish.

You are special - £1 per month. You. Yes you. You are special. Thank you for choosing to support me. I send you a warm fuzzy feeling of appreciation.

And you are also special - £3 per month. How did you get to be so special? It's a mystery. But you really are, and I appreciate you so very much, thank you. I send you all the warm fuzzy feelings you can cope with.

Who's a special Simmer? YOU ARE! - £6 per month. Who knew that being you was such a gift? You are truly appreciated, in everything you do. In this tier, you get all the warm fuzzy feelings of previous tiers, with a little bit extra just for you. In addition, you can suggest certain TS4 builds you might like to see me make in the future that will get added to my Big List Of Builds I One Day Hope To Make.

Well someone's special. IT'S YOU! - £12 per month. An experiment to see if anyone is weird enough to pledge to this tier. If you do, wow, you are so incredibly special I can't even. How do you do it? You get all the warm fuzzy feelings you can manage directed straight at your face for the length of your pledge, and beyond. You also get to suggest builds that will be added to my Big List Of Builds I One Day Hope To Make, and you also get to ask for a build made to your specifications just for you (well, okay, it will be released publicly too). Nothing too freaky, we're a (mostly) family friendly show here.

A special (re)shade of special! - £12 per month. Another experiment to see if anyone is weird enough to pledge to this tier. If you do, I can only marvel at your oddness and epicness. You get all the warm fuzzy feelings you can manage directed straight at your face for the length of your pledge, and beyond. You also get to suggest builds that will be added to my Big List Of Builds I One Day Hope To Make. And you get a ReShade preset made to your specifications (which will also be made available publicly). I will provide ongoing troubleshooting and tweaking support for the length of your patronage, and if you cancel (which is cool, it's all cool) I'll still provide troubleshooting as I already do for anyone and everyone who rocks up with a ReShade question.

I can only reiterate again and again, I do not expect anyone to pledge to any of these tiers. They offer nothing of value, and merely exist for those very, very few of you who are truly odd enough to think supporting my chaos and unreliability is a good use of your time and money.

Regardless, as I say in my updated About section on Patreon, I never could have imagined what a big part of my life The Sims 4 would become, and how much I would enjoy the friendship and company of the people in this community. Thank you, every single one of you.

[wanna-do-bad-things]

Expecting.

Summary: Tired of dating for nothing, Henry laid everything out for her on that very first date. But when he gets everything he hoped for, there’s one thing left that he really wants.

Word count: 1683

Warnings: trying to get pregnant (no heartbreak tho, it just takes a lil time), fluffy baby daddy Henry

A/N: this was for @henrythickcavill, requested via my patreon. 

Forever tag list:  @luclittlepond |  @fcgrizi  | @henrythickcavill  |  @mitzwinchester  |  @mary-ann84 | @hell1129-blog  | @pensieve-foryour-thoughts  |  @agniavateira  |  @dancingwendigo  |  @living-in-the-darkness | @trippedmetaldetector |  @watermeloncavill  |   @justaboringadult   |   @madbaddic7ed   |   @ruthoakenshield  |  @omgkatinka   |   @iloveyouyen   |   @spursondele    |

________

Henry has been on cloud nine ever since she told him she was pregnant. Tired and mentally exhausted trying to find the right person, Henry had all but given up. It’s not that he was actively looking for a girlfriend, or wife in his case, but he did hope that when the right person came along, he’d just know. He’d feel it in his bones. He didn’t think it would happen like it does in the movies, where everything aligns, everything tastes better, music sounds better and he can breathe like he’s never breathed before. But he thought he’d feel something different.

She didn’t breeze into his life. She didn’t make him understand now why everything else hadn’t worked out. But what she did do was make him wonder how the hell he’d managed to feel so complete before when he felt bursting at the seams when he was around her. He’d laid it all on the table on their first date.

“I know this is a little full on, but I’m going to be honest with you. I can’t keep doing meaningless dates. If you’re not looking for something serious, something long term and possibly the end goal, then this date isn’t going to go far. You can leave, I’ll still pay for the bill, but I won’t hold it against you. I understand not everyone will be on the same page.”

Instead of pushing her chair back, grabbing her coat and bag and walking out of the restaurant, she pulled her chair a little closer, poured them both a drink and said, “so what colour theme are we having at the wedding and how many children are we having?”

She took an open interest in what he had to say, she challenged him on a few of his viewpoints just for a good conversation piece. They shared many of the same opinions and differed on a handful but nothing deal breaking or something that neither could get past. Henry understood that not everyone was the same and listening to her speak was amazing. He adored that they were on the same page when it came to values and their life.

As the weeks and months went on, he tried to trip her up. Tried to catch her out and see if she was just spoon feeding him everything he wanted to hear but no, it continued to flow almost perfectly. Henry took her on several vacations per year, she joined him on set, rode him when he needed his stress relieving and helped him with his lines. She was by no means a good actress, but she would try to put her feelings into it, try to give the script some sort of justice and helped Henry when he needed it.

They married three years later, with her joking that Henry would rush her down the aisle just so he could get straight to the baby making part of marriage. But it didn’t happen as quickly as either of them hoped. She came off her birth control and though they’d lose themselves within the sheets (or on the counter tops, table, against the hallway wall, the sofa, his gaming chair…just anywhere which could hold their weight,) as often as possible without wanting to take the fun out of sex and just have it for the sake of having a baby, pregnancy just wasn’t as easy to happen as they’d thought.

A year and half into their marriage, she’d began to draw up schedules, bought thermometers to check her temperature and downloaded several “trying to get pregnant” apps. She tracked her cycles, found the optimum times for having sex and had started to pitch it all to Henry when she realised she was two weeks late.

He’d sat there before her, waiting for her to reach the main part of her big presentation of why looking at their baby making schedule would be most effective when he’d watched the blood drain from her face and her scramble out of the room, roughly slamming the bathroom door closed and lock it before he’d been able to fully understand what had just happened. He’d heard things dropping onto the floor, things being torn open and as he’d stood nervously on the other side of the bathroom door, his hand on the wooden surface, listening carefully for anything which could give him an idea of what had happened, he’d finally heard the little sob that came from her.

“Are you ok?” He’d asked softly, not wanting to refer to her by any pet names, instead addressing her by her name. She hadn’t replied for a moment or two, just the sound of her soft cries filling the room in which he couldn’t access until she’d finally slid the lock open and he found her sitting on the floor, surrounded by torn open pregnancy test boxes and four tests sitting in front of her, letters boasting PREGNANT 4+ WEEKS on each of them.

Henry hadn’t wanted to go too crazy. He’d wanted this for too long and didn’t want to curse anything by purchasing anything too early. He’d gripped her hand, their fingers locked together, tears falling from his eyes as he’d pressed their hands to his lips as his eyes had remained fixated on the screen during her scan, watching as their two babies wriggled around for them. Watching as their tiny limbs stretched out and they flipped themselves around in their little bubble of comfort.

With each passing week, Henry ensured that he took care of any of the big jobs, needing her to take it as easily as possible. She hadn’t wanted to completely give up their workouts, and he’d make sure that he was there to observe each one, with a personalised plan specifically for pregnancy. They scoured the websites for the perfect nursery set up. With the babies genders remaining a secret, pots of neutral paint sits in the room. Dust sheets are down ready to catch any splatters of paint which hadn’t made it onto the walls. Tins of light colours are waiting to be applied and Henry has changed into his “DIY” clothes which are sweatpants and a loose, though still fitted for him, cotton tee shirt.

Most of the walls will be a pale grey to match the carpet, but there’ll be soft mint greens, duck egg blues, pale yellows scattered around the room in forms of cuddle bears, artwork and books that he wants to read to them. Two rocking chairs have been placed, and tested, and he already looks forward to sitting in them while reading to the two of them as they have their feed, much like he’s already done with her sitting beside him, their joined hands pressed to her large bump as he’d read some of his favourite childhood stories to them so that they would already recognise his voice. She’s due in one months’ time, and only now does he feel confident enough to begin to paint and assemble everything he’d bought.

She’d caught him in the middle of their living room two months ago, the boxes emptied out and him checking every screw, every nut, bolt and piece against the assembly instructions to ensure that everything was there, fully prepared with the phone and laptop beside him to make all the forms of contact needed to get the right parts sent out. “I’m not leaving it until last minute to then find out something is missing, or wrong or damaged and it’s too late.”

He’s strolled around the house with the double pram, telling her he needed to break in the wheels. He’s practiced for what felt like hours closing the pram and re-opening it again. Getting it in and out of the large car which he bought for the babies in mind. He’s tested numerous ways of picking up the baby carriers and how to get them in and out of the car with ease. He’s completed a baby first aid course and made sure he’s bought enough things to baby proof the house.

“You have some explaining to do.” She says, waddling into the doorway of the nursery, holding up some of the baby outfits he’s purchased.

“Look at the little cape though.” He grins, putting down the paint roller and tray before he’s even applied the first stroke. He walks over to her, his hand instinctively going to her belly as the other touches the cape of the baby vest which reads “my daddy is superman.”

“And this?” She holds up a mini Chiefs kit.

“I don’t make the rules around here. It’s law that they should match their daddy.”

“But what if they choose to suppo-”

“Ah, ah, ah,” Henry cuts her off with a wag of his finger, “we don’t have none of that negativity around here. Absolutely not.” It takes everything she can muster not to crack another smile and to try and keep her expression as neutral as possible but the stern look upon Henry’s face makes it more difficult to do so.

“You can’t wait for this, can you?” She asks him as she sinks down into her rocking chair and slowly goes back and forth, sighing contently to get the weight from her swelling ankles and sore feet.

“Lumberjack beard, bags under my eyes so big I could do a months shopping in them and endless stories of ‘so yeah, my kid pooped today’ conversations. I can’t wait.”

“No dad bod?” She questions.

“I’m a daddy now, and I’ve got a body.” You sure are daddy, she thinks. If she weren’t suffering from her aching hips, she’d be wanting to climb onto his lap and ride him. He looks far too good right now.

“Yeah you have, now let me see that body of yours get to work….on this room. Not on me.” She says, holding up her finger and lifting a leg up as though that could stop Henry from covering her body with his own, “you’ve done enough.”

“Well, you know what they say… it helps to speed things along…”

[tanaleth]

First line meme

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag some of your favourite authors!

Tagged by @mars-colony. Thank you! Per previous posters, I’ll include some chapter openers too.

Fallout 4

Stress Response (Danse’s POV on Blind Betrayal, mentions of Danse/f!Sole)

1. “Ready, Paladin?"

2. The clicking of the Geiger counter stopped.

3. Danse snuck past a raider encampment. It made him sick to just move on, to leave them to prey on innocent civilians, but alone—without his armor, without his team—he was nothing. The helpless, worthless feeling he'd spent his whole life trying to escape had finally caught up with him.

Small Fires (Danse/f!Sole)

1. Her companion was watching her through half-shut eyes, fatigue evident in every line of his body. The remains of an unappetizing dinner littered the ground and his undershirt was dampened with sweat and Cecily wondered, again, how he could be anything other than human.

2. Cecily had thought the night couldn't get any darker, but it did. The thin clouds cleared and their faint glow faded only to be replaced by a panoply of stars. She was five miles from downtown Boston and she could see the Milky Way.

Sanctuary (Sole & Nick do Far Harbor, mentions of Danse/f!Sole)

Before the Great War, Nick Valentine had been about the farthest thing from a morning person there was. But the synth that called itself Nick Valentine liked the mornings. Standing at the rail of a guard post and watching the sun rise over the Commonwealth gave him a flicker of something… something short of optimism, but a warm feeling nonetheless. Contentment, maybe. A reminder that there was still good in this world worth fighting for.

Systems Theory (Danse/f!Sole)

Danse caught a glimpse of the date on the terminal and was mildly surprised by it. Had it really only been two weeks since his life collapsed in on itself?

What We Already Know (Danse/f!Sole)

The kitchen floorboards were bright with the sun, mostly because the windows hadn't seen shutters—or glass—since the War.

Fallout: New Vegas

Company (Craig Boone/f!Courier Six)

Boone had promised to watch the courier’s back. And he did. He watched it a whole lot more than he meant to.

Dragon Age

See Fire and Go Towards Light (Lysette/Adan + some background Cullavellan)

1. Despite years of specialized training in combat against demons, Lysette had never seen one in the flesh before today.

She seemed to be making up for lost time.

2. "Quiet!" barked Adan. "Unless you want to kill her with your hovering, you'll get out of this bleeding cabin and keep any other busybodies as far away as you can get them."

The door to the makeshift infirmary clicked shut, busybodies thankfully on the other side of it.

Her Foundation and Her Sword (Lysette/Adan, sequel to previous)

1. Lysette couldn't sleep. That wasn't unusual these days. Lyrium had a way of making your dreams vague and forgettable: less frequent, more distant when you woke.

2. There was the slightest tinge of gold to some of the leaves of the trees in Skyhold's garden. A faintly biting breeze blew a few of last autumn's dry leaves over the empty courtyard, and that was it. No Orlesian nobles, no aggravating chanters, no runners tugging at sleeves or assistants quarrelling over chores.

Adan straightened, twisting a dry stalk between his fingers, and studied the empty beds before him.

And Be Forgiven (Delrin Barris/Belinda Darrow)

Belinda Darrow was a woman of faith.

It was the foundational truth of her existence. She knew the Maker was real, and she knew He was good; she knew Andraste was their savior, and she knew that somehow, someday, everything would be all right. And yet, when she saw the sky tear itself open...

That flicker of doubt hadn't even put a pause in her step. Not when there was so bloody much to be done.

Exsoporata (non-Warden Surana/Fenris)

Neria watched Ferelden recede over the stern until it was little more than a gray cloud on the southern horizon, indistinguishable from the clouds above.

History (Cullavellan gift fic for @fourletterepithet)

Cullen stared down into the drawer of his new desk. It held the scraps that had been in his pockets at Haven: a battered copy of the Chant, a singed handkerchief. And his philter.

The School of Negation (Alistair/Warden gift fic for @allisondraste)

"Do you believe in ghosts?" asked Alistair one night. 

Graceless (A short and dreadful Awakening play for @theredshirtwholived)

THE WARDEN: I’m your commander and if I say we’re playing cards, we’re playing cards.

⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯

THOUGHTS:

It’s tough to choose a favorite, although some are definitely more effective than others. The most common pattern seems to be [statement]+[ironic reflection upon statement by POV character]. I think the one I’m fondest of is the opening to See Fire and Go Towards Light, because that fic was/is my baby. 

I also describe the lighting a lot. It is a thing I do.

TAGGING:

@ellenembee, @laurelsofhighever, @theggning, @red-hot-chili-tiefling, @ravenqueen89, @gingerbreton, @electriicfleur, @asaara-writes, and @chaotic-good-hawke! 

[spacesnail3000]

Let It Snow - Chapter 1/4: Oh The Weather Outside Is Frightful

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader (no use of Y/N)

Summary: She was his Omega, and Steve had a plan. She would love him. He knew she would.

Word Count: 4,049

Warnings: Dark!Steve Rogers, stalking, ABO dynamics, mating cycles/heat, noncon and dubcon, very explicit sexual content in future chapters (18+ ONLY)

A/N: Remember when I said I had an ABO one-shot planned and it was gonna be really filthy? Remember when I said that I would have it out before Christmas? Well it took me like three weeks but I did it and I basically piled all my kinks into one story hahahah sorry guys. 

Here is the first installment of this new story!

Series Masterlist Main Masterlist

X

She hadn’t wanted to go—not that day, not on a Friday, not with all this snow. There were a few other reasons that she was too shy to tell him about, but Steve knew. He knew everything about her.

Compared to when they left the city, the snow was coming down heavy when they finally reached the cabin an hour away from Lake Placid. Steve’s speeding had cut the six-hour drive into three, and throughout the entire trip he had feigned ignorance of her white-knuckles on the door handle, the sound of her racing heart, the blood draining from her face as he took sharp mountain turns at fifty miles per hour. 

He had insisted on the whole thing, really.

“Steve, it’s just a really inconvenient time.”

“I know, but it’s the only day I have available until after January. I need you to see the inside so you can choose some furniture.”

“That can wait, Steve—"

“And I was really hoping to have the plans for the backyard done by next weekend so we can start arranging it with the landscaper. I have an appointment with him in two weeks.”

She sighed, heavy. Long fingers plucked her reading glasses from her face and they fell with a clatter against her desk. “I already have so much to plan for the barracks Tony wants to add to the compound.”

He mimicked her sigh, laced with just a hint of annoyance. “Well… If you can’t help me out I suppose I could hire someone else, but you’re really the only person who knows what I like and need.”

Steve hit his mark, her face crumpling with guilt. “It’s just so far away.” A thumb pressed against the bridge of her nose and her eyes fluttered closed, long lashes brushing her cheekbones. “It’s six hours, Steve.”

“Then we’ll leave early,” he said simply. “Seven o’clock? You know how fast I drive. We’d be back by evening.” When she still seemed unconvinced, he kneeled down in front of her and took her hand in his, locking her gaze to him with the earnest expression in his vibrant blue eyes. “Please? You’ve got me on my knees. I’m begging now.” A hint of a smile flashed across her face and he continued. “Are you happy? The woman to topple Captain America—and it’s his architect. Please? How much more do I have to beg?”

By the time he finished, the teasing lilt to his tone had gotten to her, and she was giggling and trying to pull away. “Fine!” she finally cried and her hands slipped from his as she got to her feet, pacing away from him and his intense gaze, trying to put more space between them in her small office.

“You’ll go?” he asked brightly, turning to face her.

“Fine, I’ll go,” she acquiesced. Then she pointed at him with a lilac-painted fingernail. “But you owe me, Rogers.”

He saluted her. “Yes, ma’am.”

X

It had taken months, but he had planned everything perfectly—he hoped. He was a master tactician, could formulate and revise logistical plans blindfolded. Each component was perfectly laid out, his strategy flawless. He had a backup plan, and a backup plan to his backup plan, and potential solutions to every possible contingency. The espionage he had undertaken, the careful preparation of the day before them—it had been in the works since the previous spring, but it would be worth it.

He had met Tony’s personal architect first when she was planning out the additions to the Avenger’s Compound. She was responsible for most of the new buildings, and as they had been built, he had seen more and more of her as she oversaw the construction. Immediately he had been drawn to her—kind, competent, certainly adept at overseeing architectural projects, but with a docile streak running through her.

When he had introduced himself, she had looked down, respectfully avoiding his eyes, giving a polite smile, shaking his hand with a delicate grip. The scent coming off of her was delectable, sweet and fresh, earthy and cozy, something distinctly homey.

Out of all the women Steve had ever met, the perfect Omega for him showed up at just the right time.

Then the third time he had seen her, there was something more. Something a little heady, something rich in her scent. Of course, he recognized it at once. She had looked a little tired, a little flushed, and her hand was so warm when he shook it. When he had run his thumb along her knuckles and his index finger up across the inside of her wrist, he had felt the fluttering of her radial pulse, more rapid than usual, and that’s when he realized that her heat was coming on and he had barely restrained himself from taking her right there.

He didn’t, of course, nor did he say anything to her about the change in her scent or the way her body was preparing to be bred.

Next time he saw her, a week later, he had simply smiled and asked, “How do you feel?”

She had looked at him with a tilt of her head, a nervous smile, but he moved on before she could respond and asked her if the materials and support structure of the training facilities would hold up against a team of superheroes.

X

It took time, but they became acquainted more and more. She was almost always on the grounds, overseeing building, or meeting with Tony about new plans. She made him feel at home, but frustratingly, their relationship remained professional at all times, one-sided, even. It was as if he didn’t affect her the same way she affected him, her scent wrapping around him every time he was in her vicinity like smoky tendrils, a homemade meal, custom-made just for him.

But he knew, in his heart, that she would feel the same about him, if she just gave him a chance.

Then he overheard Natasha asking about any potential significant others in her life, and she replied that she doesn’t date while she’s working on big projects.

Steve didn’t want to admit his initial anger at that, the hurt deep inside his heart, as if it was a personal rejection of him. For a few days afterwards, he had even ignored her, avoiding running his routes around the new constructions, turning away every time he saw her in the meeting rooms or cafeteria. Then, he came up with a plan.

That was all over a year ago.

The first step of Steve’s plan was to hire her to plan and build a house for him in the Adirondacks. A hefty investment, sure, but one that would be worth it in the end. At the very least, it ensured that she remained single, off the market to any other Alphas threatening to swoop up a beautiful sweet little Omega like her.

Now, more than six months after he approached her with the initial proposal, the house was almost completed. It had provided more than enough time for Steve to get to know her. Bringing her breakfast or lunch during their scheduled planning meetings, finding out all of her tastes and preferences as they went through the process. He deferred to her judgement on the house more often than not.

“What would you do? I can’t decide on an open or closed floor concept. I don’t know enough about this stuff.”

She had flourished under his gentle praise and request for guidance. It certainly helped that every time he praised her, he sensed her getting warmer, her heartrate increasing.

“This is perfect. This plan looks so great. You’re so good at this.”

Every shy smile and mumble of thanks was his undoing. 

Like a flower growing throughout the sudden appearance of spring, she had opened up to him, telling him about her friends, her family, her interests, her hobbies. Gradually, she let him into her life—only ever as friends, not anything more, but the promise was there. Once, he had asked her out to dinner, but she had declined and explained to him, an apology on her lips, that she doesn’t date clients, and she doesn’t date during projects.

“Then I guess I’ll have to ask again once the house is done and I’m not your client anymore, won’t I?”

Oh, he loved how flustered she got.

X

It was easier to get into her house than into her mind or soul—of course, it helped that she worked from home, a little brownstone in Brooklyn.

When he had complimented the house, she mentioned it was her childhood home, renovated recently once she took ownership. Raised in Brooklyn, as if she couldn’t be more perfect for Steve.

It didn’t take much to break into the house when she was out—off overseeing construction of the cabin, or getting groceries, or going for a run. When he visited her for their appointments, he usually only saw the front entrance and the hall leading to her home office. When he got the chance to be in the house unhindered, he thoroughly explored the entire place.

Mediterranean-themed interior décor, which she had done all by herself. Beige and cream color palate with bright pops of color, teals and yellows and vibrant green house plants everywhere. A slight coastal theme, bright and airy and still so cozy.

The kitchen, everything immaculate. She liked to cook and bake, and she had countless tools and appliances for it. One time, she had given him a taste of her homemade almond cookies, nutty and sweet, crystalized almonds on top that melted in his mouth.

Most of the living room was commanded by a cozy sectional sofa with soft cream blankets and more throw pillows than he could count. A vase full of lavender flowers, a few candles with wooden wicks. Vintage sconces and a restored fireplace. A grey cat laid on the back of the sofa, blinking up at him disinterestedly. Still, it let Steve pet it, a few brisk strokes behind the ears and it was purring.

The bedroom smelled like her. It was so potent, he almost blacked out with how quickly the blood rushed to his cock. She had scent diffusers downstairs, but upstairs, her scent permeated the air, the linens, the walls.

He bent before her bed and sniffed the scent on her pillow. She hadn’t made the bed that morning—she had to be in the mountains by noon to receive updates from the construction manager, and it clearly hadn’t crossed her mind in the rush.

Steve appreciated it, as the sheets still had a slight hint of that sleepy Omega smell. There was a duvet and at least five fluffy blankets, along with a handful of feather pillows scattered across the bed. He inspected each blanket and pillow, their different designs and fabrics and pillowcases. He found one pillow tucked underneath the duvet, twisted around, a hint of that heady scent wafting up towards Steve.

He brought the pillow to his face, breathing in deeper, scenting her arousal concentrated in one part in particular. It was still a little damp and he could only imagine her rubbing her slick pussy against the soft silk pillowcase until she came, crying out, clutching the makings of the nest around her, cozy and warm and so, so domestic—sweet little Omega, yearning for an Alpha to take care of her—

It took all his concentration to not come in his pants right there.

After taking care of the aching problem in his trousers, Steve explored her bathroom, looking individually at each toiletry and makeup product strewn across her vanity. 

All of her food, her cleaning supplies, her cosmetics—everything in her home was natural, organic, and eco-friendly. She had mentioned once that she tried to be environmentally conscious, and he could see it manifested everywhere in her life. Steve liked that about her—it reminded him of a simpler time, before plastic covered the entire planet, before mass production of pointless garbage littered everyone’s lives.

He suspected that had something to do with her not being on suppressants, either—which he confirmed over some months based how potent her scent seemed to be and how it changed in depth and tone over her cycle.

Not until his third walkthrough of her house alone—she was out with a friend doing yoga and getting coffee, a Saturday morning ritual for her—did he see the calendar. It was pinned to the wall next to her bed, each month with different pastries as the cover photo. There, in blue pen, from the 12th to the 16th, five little H’s marked in the corner of each date.

He knew it must signify her heat. And he knew she wasn’t on suppressants, that she had heats before—and looking back through her calendar, her heats were very regular, every month on the dot. But now he knew, now he had a way to find out when her monthly mating period would begin, when she would be ripe for his taking.

Another piece of his plan fell into place.

Designing the outline of the cabin took less than a month and from that point until the end of construction, five months, Steve took a great effort to get to know her more. 

He would bring her treats to their meetings; scones, cookies, coffee. Often, he would try to schedule the appointments for midday, if only to have the opportunity with each meeting to ask her for lunch after they had finished discussing all their business. 

She showed him so much of Brooklyn that he didn’t realize had changed, and he showed her a few places that hadn’t, since the war. 

Sometimes she would dress up for him. Instead of dress pants and blazers, she would wear long skirts and dresses that accentuated her curves—not too sexy, though; sweet, but still modest. Although he loved when she wore pink lipstick—simple and elegant—she would sometimes don darker shades, deep reds and purples, and he had to admit it made his Alpha rumble inside.

By the time the house was built, it was only November. Tony contracted her to build a new barracks near the compound, and Steve was running out of time. The perfect circumstances never arose. He had asked her on dates, but she was too busy, out of town for most of December for a conference and then for the holidays, always declining his advances with a soft smile and regretful apology. 

Time passed into the New Year and Steve still hadn’t claimed her heart.

Steve needed some kind of excuse to keep her in his life. He was getting desperate.

When he had asked her to do the interior decorating for his new house, she blanched. 

“I’m not much of an interior decorator, Steve.” It had taken months to get her to call him Steve instead of Captain Rogers. It was necessary for the progression of their relationship although Steve’s cock twitched every time she used his formal title.

“I like the way your house is decorated. Can’t you do something like that for me?” The look of sweet hope on his face was too overbearing, she had to look away.

“You haven’t even seen the rest of my house. Only the office.”

“Then why don’t you show me?” 

Of course, he had already seen the entire house—many times, in fact. Still, he let her give him a full tour of the house, and at the end, he asked her again to do the decorating for his house. Mercifully, she accepted.

X

Her next heat was coming up—he knew based on her calendar and her delectable scent. It was scheduled over the long weekend, and much to Steve’s delight, there was also a blizzard coming their way for the exact same dates, the middle of January and the peak of winter providing the perfect conditions for his plot. 

Getting her to agree to the journey up to the Adirondacks was easier than he had anticipated; the guilt-trip worked wonders on her, his submissive, sweet Omega. 

He had picked her up early that morning, his big truck parked illegally in front of her brownstone as he knocked on the door and waited for her, coffee and pastries in hand to gain her favor.

When she opened the door, she looked perfect, dressed in a collared white dress and black tights, classy and beautiful, skin vibrant with that pre-heat glow, lips painted a berry pink. 

“Hi, Steve,” she breathed, clearly having rushed downstairs for the door. Her scent wafted through the house and out the door, burying him in her sweet scent, more woodsy than usual with her impending heat. “Let me just get my shoes and a jacket. Oh—is that for me?” Her eyes zeroed in on the coffee.

He nodded, handing it to her. “Got your usual.”

She sipped from the cup and let out a contented sigh, perfect pink tongue darting out to lick a droplet from her upper lip. Steve didn’t know how he managed to contain himself. “Perfect. Thank you, Steve. Just give me a minute—oh—come on in. I won’t be long.” She came back downstairs minutes later in pointy heels and a peacoat, and she was ready to go.

The truck was lifted rather high off the ground, necessary for off-roading in the Adirondacks, so she always needed a little boost, and he helped her this time with his hands on her hips, lower than he would usually place them. From the breathless smile she gave him before he closed the passenger side door, she didn’t seem to mind.

Throughout the car ride up to the cabin, she was tense and stiff; whether it was due to his speeding or her heat, Steve wasn’t sure. However, he could smell her scent growing heavier by the minute, and he made sure to crank the heat up in the car to amplify it. He was rock hard in his pants the entire way, but she had been distracted from that by his reckless driving and the snow coming down from the sky. 

He had lost count of the number of times she asked him to slow down, only to be silenced when he pointed out that he would have to drive fast if she wanted to be back in the city by nightfall. 

“It’s snowing pretty hard.” Her voice was soft as she looked out the window at the ice piling up on the side of the road. It was almost whiting out the windshield, and Steve would have been worried about driving in this weather if Tony hadn’t decked out the truck with plenty of enhancements, to include chains on the wheels and sensors to enhance navigation in dangerous conditions.

“We’re almost there, sweetheart,” he said, keeping his tone casual, unconcerned. “I’d never let anything bad happen to you.” She was thrumming with worry and it was starting to take over her heat scent, the sharp tinge of anxiety growing stronger. He tried to distract her with conversation. “You know, I stayed up here the other weekend. It was pretty nice. You did a great job.”

She looked flustered at the praise, and he could already smell that heady scent again. “Oh?”

“I was sleeping on an air mattress, though. It was kind of cold until I got enough wood for the fire. I’ve brought some supplies up with us today because I’ll be staying there over the weekend.” True to his word, in the back of his truck, he had plenty of blankets, pillows, and food supplies for them to use over the next week.

“That sounds nice…” she mumbled. 

“Yeah, I think it’ll be relaxing. Not having to be around so many people. What’re your plans?”

She seemed embarrassed, looking down at her knees, picking at the black tights she wore. “I’ll be alone, too. It’s not… not a great time…”

Steve knew, because of her heat, she wouldn’t be able to be around others for the long weekend. However, he feigned ignorance and frowned. “Oh, why is that? Everything okay?”

She nodded hastily. “Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine…” He didn’t push her because he could smell the scent on her growing stronger. They sat in silence for a few minutes, and he noticed she was squirming in her seat every now and then. He could smell her building arousal, sense her quickening heartbeat, hear her heavy breathing. 

Her pre-heat was hitting her hard, which meant her heat was approaching faster than he had anticipated.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

“Yeah… It’s hot in here… is it hot in here?”

Her hand shot out to lower the temperature in the car, but he caught her hand in his. “I thought it was cold.” The concern in his tone was contrived but sounded convincing to her. “You’re so warm.” His fingers brushed along her wrist, and he could hear the way her breath shuddered in her chest. One eye still on the road, he brought his hand up to feel her forehead, pressing the back of his fingers against her temple, her cheek, her neck. “You’re burning up.”

He could feel her tremble, the flutter of her heartbeat in her carotid artery. All too suddenly, she pushed his hand away, voice shaking as she spoke, “Y-yeah, I’m okay, Steve. I’m fine. Just a little under the weather.”

“How long have you been feeling sick?”

“Uh—uhm… not long… but I don’t want to… to… get you sick.”

By that point, they were pulling up the long road to the cabin. Steve sent her a reassuring smile. “I have the serum, sweetheart, you can’t get me sick. Don’t worry—I’ll take care of you.”

She was silent then, but every bump on the rocky dirty road made her squirm in her seat, thighs clenching together. Her breathing was still labored, and when he parked, he quickly rushed to her side of the car to help her get out, hands on her waist making her shiver. 

Once she was outside, she took a deep breath, hands clinging to Steve’s jacket as she let the cool air consume her. Snowflakes fell down into her hair, on her cheeks and eyelashes, a crown of crystalized ice piling on her head, but she didn’t seem to notice the blustery weather as she relaxed into Steve’s arms. 

“Is the cool air helping a little?” he asked, lips close to her ear so she could hear him over the heavy winds.

She nodded absently, eyes closed, but he knew it wasn’t the cool air. It was his touch—skin contact with a strong Alpha, exactly what she needed right now. After a moment or two, he adjusted his grip, arms encompassing her, and she didn’t notice herself when she turned her face in towards Steve’s neck, deeply breathing in his scent, drifting closer and closer until her nose was pressed against his scent glands through his sweater.

“Omega,” he growled, half in questioning and half in warning. It was enough to snap her out of her trance, movements sharp as she pulled away from Steve’s embrace and distanced herself from him.

“S-sorry,” she stammered, pressing her hands to her heated face. “I—I—I—” She was shaking, shocked at her behavior, nervous about the implications. 

“It’s okay, darling,” he said, approaching her with hands raised. “How do you feel?”

Closing her eyes again, she took another few deep breaths, this time faced away from Steve. Finally, she sighed, and nodded. “Better. The fresh air is helping.” He maintained a concerned expression until she turned back towards the house. “Let’s get going. It’s snowing pretty hard.”

Indeed it was, fat flakes coming down harder and harder the more they stood outside, falling on their heads and shoulders and soaking into their hair and clothes. The ground was covered in a thick blanket already, and the wind was picking up more and more.

She hadn’t realized yet, but Steve knew that by the time they were finished looking over the house, the snow would be too deep to drive in, and they would be trapped here for the duration of her heat.

[eintsein]

After a few years of trial and error, I think I've finally found the perfect organization method.

In the early years of high school, I had a bullet journal. I was an artsy kid who found a way to combine art with organization in a way that benefited other parts of my life.

However, as I approached the end of high school, my schedule got busier, and I was involved in a lot more things, so owning a bullet journal was less practical. Because of that, I switched to an app called Edo Agenda.

I continued with digital planning in college since I knew I wasn't going to have as much time. But all the apps I tried out—Taskade, Actions by Moleskine, Any.do, Todoist, Wunderlist—weren't suited to my planning and organizational needs. They didn't have the specific functions I required and didn't incorporate an organization system I liked to use. The predefined apps were too restraining, but the more customizable apps weren't customizable enough.

So then I switched to a bare bones, uber minimalist bullet journal method. That worked pretty well my second semester. It was simple, portable, and most importantly, flexible—all the things one could wish for in a planning system. However, it wasn't always the most convenient to use since I couldn't effectively integrate all the different aspects of my life, which, to no surprise, is mostly recorded digitally.

There was just one huge problem with my digital organization system that made me hesitant to switch back in the first place: everything was fragmented. Notes were in Google Docs. Financial records were in Google Sheets. To-Do Lists were in my bullet journal. Team projects were in Trello. My poetry was on Bear. Things I wanted to try are carelessly pinned to random pinterest boards or added to my YouTube "watch later" playlist. It was a mess.

Over the summer, I found out about Notion from a friend, and I thought, this has so much potential, it could even be exactly what I need. It's essentially like an empty notebook on your computer with functions that make it 10x more powerful. Notion allows you to integrate all aspects of your life and work into one app. Some of the advantages that have made me partial to Notion are:

Even greater customization level. Notion is a blank canvas with tons of predefined blocks and different file types. You can make databases, spreadsheets, Kanban boards, to do lists, etc. Also, you can remain connected to other digital services. You can link websites, collaborate with other users, use different structures (e.g. documents, databases, tasks), embed images and videos, etc. There are also tons of formatting options, e.g. text color, highlight, heading v. body text.

Better organization. Notion allows you to have pages within pages within pages within pages—an infinite hierarchy that you can organize with tables of contents. These pages are made of blocks, e.g. tables, checklists, boards, databases.  Both pages and blocks can be rearranged by simply dragging and dropping them to where you want them to be. In other words, I guess it's kind of like building a website to organize your life. Plus, their database feature is especially powerful as it allows you to connect all your data and get into as much detail as you wish (each entry in a database is its own page).

Templates. There are tons of templates created by both Notion and the community that you can use. These are especially helpful in the beginning since Notion does have a rather steep learning curve. There are template for almost every category: personal, planning, finance, job applications, design roadmap, etc. Check out their template gallery, this medium article called "10 Notion templates to inspire your use", or read on for my own examples!

Shortcuts. This makes typing and documenting so much faster. Notion uses Markdown, which is a text-to-HTML conversion tool, e.g. # = Heading 1, *, - = bullet point, etc.

Notion has some pretty awesome features, but how does one actually use it? Personally, I have four top-level pages: my planner, my personal journal, songwriting, and blogging.

Planner

I've been using my planner to, well, plan and track my day to day activities as well as my week and month. The way I've structured it is a calendar or monthly overview with links to pages of weekly overviews, and if needed, daily overviews within the weekly overview. This links things up so nicely, i.e. I don't have to be constantly flipping pages in my physical bullet journal or planner to find what I need.

I also have entertainment lists, which is mainly a table with all the shows I want to watch, the books I want to read, etc. I keep track of whether or not I've watched them, as well as my personal ratings. What I love most about this is that each entry is its own page, so I can type my notes for each book, show, or film and easily find them in the future. (Also the reason why I have plural “lists” instead of just one entertainment list is because you can filter entries by type of entertainment, e.g. movies, tv shows, books, articles.)

Personal

For personal notes, goals, journal entries, etc. This is kind of like an extension of my daily journal and just where I dump all my thoughts and keep track of the different aspects of my life: mental, emotional, spiritual, social, physical, and travel.

Another page I have is called "Stray Thoughts" and, well, it's pretty self explanatory. It's a lot easier to dump all my thoughts as they come and reorganize them later. Of course, this requires sacrificing the rawness of journaling, i.e. when the thoughts come and how you process them, which is why I still keep a regular journal that I write in daily.

Songwriting

I've been writing a lot of music over the summer and it's often hard to keep track of all of my songs and how far I've gotten in the songwriting process. So I created a table of songs - each entry of a song is a page with its lyrics. These are then tagged with the status of the lyrics (i.e. completed, in progress) and the status of the music itself (i.e. melody only, instrumental, mixing, mastering, revised). Eventually, I'll include demos in the database by embedding audio files in the document.

I have a separate section for inspiration and ideas, which is a kind of brain dump, e.g. words I think would make a good song, a certain theme for a song, a melody that's been stuck in my head, a vibe I'd like to try out, etc.

I've also been watching a lot of tutorials for music production and there's a section where I write my notes for that.

Eintsein

The last section of my Notion app is for this blog. Which has pages for

New posts. These are ideas for future posts, asks that I think would need longer answers, as well as posts that are currently in the draft stage (like this one was before I posted it)

Design assets. This is where I put all the visual branding material for Eintsein.com to be used in posts and any visual material on the blog.

FAQ. Having an FAQ document just makes it so much easier to make changes to your existing FAQ. Plus, if you ever change your FAQ theme, you just have to copy and paste what you already have.

Post directory. I keep track of all my previous masterposts, infographics, and generally longer and more comprehensive posts. It's the exact same as what you see on my Navigation page. And yes, the document contains direct links to the post.

New theme. A project I've been working on the past couple days is trying to create my own theme for my blog. This is where I put all my outlines, brainstorming notes, design inspiration, code snippets, etc.There are some pretty awesome features I’ve made use of in this page:

As you can probably tell, I'm absolutely obsessed with Notion since it has such awesome features and endless possibilities for customization. So far I've been using Notion for personal projects, which, since they are quite big in scale and have no set deadline, are important to organize well. My summer courses were only 6 weeks and weren't difficult to organize.

The formats above are just how I personally use notion. You could make some of your own, or if you don't think you want to build your pages from scratch, there are tons of templates to choose from. Here are some I think I'll be using in the near future and may be helpful for others as well, especially students like myself:

One drawback, however, is that Notion has a rather steep learning curve, but there are tons of tutorials online (especially YouTube) and I guarantee you it's all worth it.

Notion is not just a productivity app. It's a way to concretize your entire life.

Notion is free to use, but there are higher tiers that allow for more blocks, greater file size, etc. I use a personal account, which is $4 per month with unlimited block storage and no file upload limit (although I got it for $33/year). Personally I think the free plan would suit most people's needs, especially if you're not uploading large files.

[bts-ficrecs]

Namjoon angst fic recs (no smut)

@ephyra16​​ asked: 

Hey...! Your blog is of so much help to me, thank you for all the hard work you do... I wanted to ask if you know any long Namjoon oneshots or series which mostly have angst but no smut...? Namjoon centered fics are really hard to find. Thanks!!

yes hello for some reason tumblr hates me and idk why everything gets wonky when i try to answer asks so i’m making a new post <3

1) as a jin stan i feel u. is hard to find fics for our mans but that just means when we find one we devour it and cherish it 4 ever lol

2) jsdflajsd you might have more luck asking someone else for straight up angst cause i can barely stomach angst LOL. I tried my best to find some heart breaky fics for you! :”) A majority of these I have not yet read so we will both be riding the emo train together.

As you requested, most of the oneshots are long fics, over 5k but! There are several honorable mentions under 5k are also listed cause they’re great

Thank you for your patience and I’m glad you’re enjoying the fics I reblog! :D so many great stories out there. as always, if there’s a fic that any of you readers think should be on this list lmk!! 🧡🧡 Enjoy!~

 

 

A Little Bit Of Sugar by @lthyl​​

Summary: Namjoon is well aware that some, well actually most people could find his hobby not exactly common, yet he still considers himself to be a man of tasteful words and higher intellect - someone who managed to understand the true, deepest meaning of beauty itself. And so he doesn’t really care if his methods of collecting pretty things end up being darker that expected, once you peek under the surface.

Almost Love by @joonary​​

Summary: You think you’ve got your life all figured out—after all, you found your soulmate already, and you’re lucky enough to have found him in your childhood best friend. You suppose that maybe, now that you’re older, your luck has begun to run out.

Better To Have Loved by @rkivenamu​​

Summary: Love, Namjoon had found, wormed its way though people, consumed them whole until it left nothing of the people they had once been. It became a weapon to be used to wound the other. Love, it seemed, was the worst thing that had ever happened to him.

Bloom by @hobidreams​​

Summary: Family is who you kill for. Who you die for. In this society, you and your kin are shadows, clinging to the darkness to obey orders absolute. But when such orders command you to abandon what little honor remains for wealth and notoriety, you find yourself lost in lonely uncertainty about the only vocation you’ve ever known. That is, until you meet a man with gentle hands, a poet’s heart, and a love for coaxing the world into bloom.

Note: okay, this has smut (there are 2 smut scenes) but… it is too good for me to not add to this list

Breathless by @personawife​​

Summary: Jungkook was eleven when it had begun. At first, he didn’t realize what was happening to him when he had miraculously coughed up a flower petal. He thought that maybe it had accidentally blown into his mouth with the wind, but then he realized that there were no cherry blossom trees around his house.

Pairing: Namjoon x Jungkook

Catching Fire by @namjoonchronicles​​

Summary: “If you didn’t want to go, then you should have told me. I wouldn’t have taken you here.”

Cut by @chimchimsauce​​ (>5k)

Summary: Namjoon always hated soulmates.

Chasing Perfection by @shuaffeine-rkive​​

Summary: Kim Namjoon is the only kid in AP Bio that is smarter than me, and I will make it a point to destroy his perfect record.

Emancipated by @imagniation​​

Summary: CEO!Namjoon is a hero time and time again when your father takes the villain role.

Five Times by @lordofassgard​​

Summary: Five times you wished you never met Namjoon.

Sequel (of sorts): Part 2 - Namjoon's POV

For All the Petals by @rosaetae​​ (>5k)

Summary: A story in which you met him in the spring, fell in love with him in the summer, but he left you in autumn and how you missed him in the winter.

Forget Me Not by @fairyjeons​​

Summary: She fell apart that day. An all white day with crowds of adoring friends and family to see them make the most happiest decisions of their lives, to choose to be together. She chose yes. He chose different.

Ghost In The Machine by @jimlingss​​

Summary: Kim Namjoon is your android that’s modified to become the best serial killer in all of existence. But when he starts to learn about humanity, he begins to threaten your goals.

God of Destruction by @jimlingss​

Summary: Everything he touches breaks; except for you.

Jealous by @btssmutgalore​​ (>5k)

Summary: Namjoon remembered the day you left clearly.

Lit Me Up by @floralseokjin​​

Summary: You find yourself becoming captivated by a mysterious, handsome author, but you may have bitten off more than you can chew…

No Goodbye by @floralseokjin​ (>5k)

Summary: Even if you’re the one who ended things, you can still feel pain. Your heartbreak is valid. Your sadness for the past is a grieving process…

Noble Gain and Loss by @jaeminlore​​ (>5k)

Summary: You are a person of nobility preparing with your tutor for your royal debut. The two of you fall into a forbidden love.

Not The One by @personawife​​ (>5k)

Summary: Maybe you should’ve realized early on then, that something was bound to go wrong. Meeting your soulmate at sixteen and living happily ever after? No one’s that lucky. But you refused to believe anything else.

Paracosm by @jimlingss​ (>5k)

Summary: Namjoon’s always known he was your second choice. He was a substitute for someone who wasn’t there. So when you’re on your deathbed, he intends to reconstruct your memories and remove your regrets.

Press Play by @out-of-jams​​

Summary: You didn’t mean to. Didn’t intend to fall in love with a dying man.

Submerged by @myfeelsinink​​

Summary: Kim Namjoon is the man of your dreams; or rather, from your dreams.

Suspended Soul by @justimajin​​

Summary: A silver ring, a live long promise, and an eternity of happiness. All of which, he had managed to break.

The what Ifs by @ellieljade​​ (>5k)

Summary: You would be able to handle the relationship between Namjoon and your best friend if it weren’t for all those damned “what ifs”

Wishf-oo-l by @sseudanym (>5k)

Summary: To fulfill a good man’s bad dream.

Worshipers of the Soul by @jimlingss​

Summary: The King of the Underworld was denounced and exiled from Heaven as a god. But with your help, he may rise to power once more and claim his rightful throne.

You’ve Got That by @mikrksmos​​

Summary: After making a life-changing decision for your career, you’re unsure of how exactly to bring it up to your boyfriend after your relationship and communication has not really been in sync. Namjoon is ready to take this relationship to the next stage, and he is sure that what he needs to ask you will be the solution to all the problems you have been having. Both know this next move is the right idea, but are unaware of how parallel those ideas really are.

 

 

Confirm Or Deny by @dinoyoongi​​

Status: complete series (6/6)

Summary: You’re a member of the rising group FRNZEE. You’ve been dating Namjoon for years when Dispatch releases an article exposing your relationship. Your company confirms the relationship. Big Hit denies it.

Deeper than Ink by @whoajeon​​

Status: discontinued series (2/?)

Summary: Should you fall in love with someone, even in the slightest, your skin becomes marked with vibrant colors that depict the story of your emotions. A tattoo, per say. However, should they or you fall out of love, the bright hues dull to black and the feelings you once had for each other melt away. To many, it’s a blessing to not have to live with the pain of your past. But what’s the point when you have too many reminders–say 27?

His Deaf Stars by @jooneos​​

Status: discontinued series (1/?)

Summary: When Namjoon turned 20 he had been excited to finally find his soulmate. He hadn’t anticipated that finding them would prove to be such a long journey. Now, more than 500 years later Namjoon still hadn’t found them.

Note: ok, yes it’s discontinued and only 1 part is up but still… please read it. It’s an interesting read regardless!

Inked by @kookswife​​

Status: complete series (6/6)

Summary: The day Namjoon entered your life was the day you were a bit more than utterly fucked.

Monster by @wordycerty​​

Status: ongoing series (1/?)

Summary: Namjoon as a vampire and you’re locked in a basement with him. For you to escape, he first needs to feed.

Noble Heart by @agustkive​​

Status: ongoing series (1/?)

Summary: Unrequited love can destroy anyone, and in a society where it could literally do so, it made it difficult to want anything more. Being among the population with Hanahaki disease, you battled with doing what you loved without actually feeling it. That is, until a new florist by the name of Kim Namjoon came into your life to remind you of what it actually felt like.

Reality by @thoughtssilent​​

Status: ongoing series (11/12)

Summary: Namjoon can’t deal with himself anymore, and to make things worse, BTS is disbanding.

Pairing: Namjoon x OT7

Regrets by @nightbts​​

Status: complete series (3/3)

Summary: When his eyes met yours, you felt your heart squeeze in your chest at the familiar brown eyes that you once used to know at the back of your hand. The very ones you’d wake up to every morning. The very ones that would gaze at you with so much affection as the words I love you spilled past his mouth during the most random moments of your day. It was him, your ex-boyfriend, the very Kim Namjoon.

Solanacea by @softjeon​​

Status: complete series (10/10)

Summary: There was something between them that neither could deny. It was like this from the first day they had met.

Pairing: Namjoon x Jimin

The Heiress’ Son by @jimlingss​

Status: complete series (3/3)

Summary: Love is never enough. It could never feed you, protect you, stop death from taking you. It chains you down. It compels forgiveness unconditionally. It is dangerous. While it is the most intense of feelings, love is not enough and it will never be. Love never helped anyone.

What If I Said by @thoughtssilent​​

Status: complete series (3/3)

Summary: If no one is there for him, Namjoon won't be there for them. Or, a collection of sad stories.

Pairing: Namjoon x OT7

[qonqr]

I’m Still Here

Many of you may have been asking yourself where did Silver go? Is anyone still working on QONQR?  I admit I’ve been very quiet the past year and from the outside, it looks like not much is going on.

 Before I give my QONQR update I want to share a major accomplishment for me. I’m a little less of a hoarder than I was a month ago. As the 11th year anniversary approached, I decided I had too much old QONQR merchandise I needed to get in the hands of my players. However, I hate shipping. I should be the spokesperson for one of those shipping providers that make shipping easy because I hate doing it so much. Many of you know that the player Rayndel has an Etsy store where she sells QONQR merchandise with my permission. I sent her a 65lb (30kg) box of QONQR stuff. Coffee cups, T-shirts, dog tags and stickers. She is liquidating all of it for me. You can find it all right here.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/DragonHoardCrafts?section_id=19648949

 2020 and 2021 have been challenging for most people, and I’m no exception.  Both our kids are off to college. We are getting older and so are our extended families. Medical issues become more frequent for us and them. The stress of the pandemic doesn’t help. There are days when I can sit at my computer all day, and never write a line of code. Things are hard, they impact our ability to work as hard as we once did.

 A little over two weeks ago, QONQR hit its 11th birthday. The milestone passed quietly. I always spend time reflecting on how QONQR has changed my life and the stories you’ve shared about how it has changed yours. We’ve built something great together. Together we keep it going.

 Despite outward appearances. Things are happening at QONQR. I am working, albeit at an admittedly slow pace. I’ve let go of the stress of pushing QONQR as fast as I can, and instead I’m working on QONQR at a pace that is comfortable. It is important to me and my family that I end my day without being drained of all my energy by the awful decisions and quality that Apple and Google hand me every day.

 The next release of QONQR will include the following features. Many of these are mostly done, so I’m happy to share them, with the caveat that I have no idea when these will actually hit the store. Tons of testing is still needed.

 New Sync Lock Rules

 Sync lock will now last much longer, perhaps a week or even a month before it automatically expires. Along with that Sync Lock Protection will also last longer. The more times you gain sync lock protection, the longer it will last. We want to protect legitimate family members from daily locks, but also want to avoid situations where multi-scoper can get infrequent help to unlock an army of devices and accounts. In addition to longer locks, Sync lock may also hurt resource collection with your bases depending on how play testing goes.

 As with everything pertaining to multi-scoping, it is a blurry line between stopping those who play unfair, and those that are punished for inviting family and friends to play.

 Notifications

I have wanted push notifications for most of the past 10 years. In fact, we were very close to having them implemented about 5-7 years ago, but Google changed their push notification system. We used a unified messaging system created by Microsoft to push to both Google and Apple simultaneously. There were incompatibilities between the new and the old Google system for a long time. We gave up on trying to finish that implementation back then, waiting for Google and Microsoft to get their stuff fixed, and it was years before it became a priority again.

 I spent most of the past 3-4 months working on notification. This area is quite possibly one of the worst technical implementations I’ve had to work with in all my time working in software. For example, if you kill an iPhone application, you also remove the ability to get push notifications until the next time you start the app. It appears to be almost random when Android will decide to beep your phone when receiving a notification, and when it will be silently added to the notification center. For both Apple and Google, the documentation is frustratingly inaccurate or out of date. There are multiple different ways a notification can be processed depending on whether the application was terminated by the user, suspended by the operating system, in the background or in the foreground. Was the notification scheduled locally or sent from a remote server?  Honestly, as a developer, it would be difficult to purposely design a worse system.

 The good news is that I believe I have it working as good as it can possibly work. In the next release you will be able to enable or disable notifications as a whole, or selectively choose which notification you want to receive. Notifications will include: Atlantis, New Wire messages, Mentions in Chat and Forums, Bots and Bases Full.

 A Major Overhaul to the Scope

The changes to Sync Lock mandated that overheat have additional logic to control bots and energy regeneration. More significantly, if we want to have a notification that your scope is full, so I needed to know exactly when the scope would be full.  Currently your regeneration rate is based on the number of launches in the past hour. Launching a few seconds before or after an old launch rolls off that 1 hour mark can mess up the prediction of when you will be full again. To make that prediction accurately, without checking every minute to see, “Are my bots full now”, we changed the formula for when bots will be full, and scheduled a notification based on that time.

 The new regeneration is very similar to the old, but we predict you may get 1 or 2 more launches per hour. I’m hedging the formula towards more not fewer launches to make sure this is seen as a positive change.

 As long as we are messing with the scope, let’s talk about the Bot Regen Accelerator.  Hard core players have pointed out that players who launch on a timer, always hitting the “optimal” launch interval, don’t gain any advantage when purchasing this $0.99 upgrade. In the new release this upgrade will reduce your overheat level by 1 level and you will never be in maximum overheat due to deploying bots. The impact of the upgrade will be noticeable by everyone with this change. The name of this upgrade will probably change to “Scope Coolant” or “Heat Diffuser”. Send me your name ideas.

  Subscriptions, Ads and Elite Players

This is a change that probably won’t be in the next release, but it is something I’m thinking about before the end of the year. Apple has had a bug in their subscription logic for years. If you purchase a subscription on an iPhone, then get a new iPhone, you need to cancel the subscription in the App Store, then renew from your new phone. Apple keeps charging you, but the new device can’t see the subscription, so QONQR doesn’t know you are a subscriber. Why wouldn’t Apple fix this? Well Apple only takes half the percentage of a subscription after the first year. By making you start a new subscription, they can double their cut of the money you pay QONQR for the subscription. Another problem with subscriptions is that they result in many support requests because they honestly aren’t 100% reliable in either Apple or Google’s implementation.

 Many people know that earlier in the year, Apple introduced a change to advertising that blocks tracking. This is great in theory, and I get it as a consumer that I don’t like to be tracked, but this tracker blocking also blocks my ability to make any revenue on advertising. Why would I continue to give away free advertising?

 Elite players are those that have spent over $100 in QONQR over the life of their gaming experience. Over the years the benefits of being “Elite” have dwindled. Features have changed, and incentives have ended. I’d like to invest more time and energy to build features for players that continue to support QONQR but I think it makes more sense to lower the bar and make the benefits for “active” spenders.

 With these three things in mind, there is a chance that QONQR will move to a monthly “pass” option rather than a subscription. There seems to be a trend with games, where players buy a monthly pass that offers benefits, rather than using subscriptions. Subscriptions are buggy and in the case of Apple, a shady business practice.

 The same benefits available to subscribers would remain under the “pass”, but you would have to explicitly purchase the pass each month.  Secondary missions may move to the “pass” model with non-pass players getting only a handful of secondary missions per month. Ads would be completely removed from the app in this scenario since they no longer generate much revenue.

  What’s in the Plans for 2022?

 If you have read my blog over the years, you know that Apple and Google make it harder and harder to stop cheating (primarily multi-scoping).  It is being reported that Windows 11 will have the ability to run Android apps. I don’t know yet how that will impact QONQR, but I’m guessing it won’t be good. At best it will have no impact because I’ll be able to stop QONQR from running on Windows, at worst it could be a nightmare.

 March 2022 will mark the 10 year anniversary QONQR hit the Apple App Store. I can say with a high level of confidence that QONQR is now the longest running location-based, multi-platform, mobile game.

 Personally, I think 2022 needs to be a transformational year for QONQR. I’m not sure we can survive if the game doesn’t change. Apple, Google, and Microsoft have never cared about supporting mobile developers. Outrageous fees and abusive rules (recently acknowledged by the US Congress) have been part of the ecosystem from the start. There are dozens of apps that you can download from the official Google Play store that make it a simple tap to attempt to hack and manipulate an Android app, so players can do something the developer is attempting to prohibit. Once again Microsoft broke the tools I use to help secure the app from hackers, causing weeks of work to find a solution that would maintain the same level of security.  Apple and Google both purposely hide information from developers that would help them ensure real people are using their apps instead of bots. They do this under the façade of privacy, but ignore simple solutions that could maintain privacy, while helping developers ensure the integrity of how their apps are used.

 I’ve said for years, the only way to stop hackers and cheaters in QONQR is to make it irrelevant. That requires a major shift in gameplay. Together, you the players and me the developer, we need to decide if we want QONQR to have such a major shift. I don’t know what that shift would look like, but 2022 might be the year we figure it out.

 2020 was a year of making sure QONQR can survive. Through tons of work that year, massive software rewrites and updates, I was able to cut the cost of hosting QONQR. Today the cost of hosting QONQR all year, matches what we spent in three months during 2019. So far 2021 has been a year of slow work toward significant improvements to the game, but without major strategic impact to your daily playing. I’ve taken my time to avoid burn out. I’m enjoying the pace of my current work week. It has been good for my family and me.

 I’m not sure what 2022 will look like for QONQR yet, but I’m excited to try something new. Maybe we’ll break things, maybe we will create something ten times better than what we have had for the last decade. Time will tell. We’ll figure it out together.

 Thanks for keeping the lights on.

-Scott (aka Silver)

[whitehotharlots]

Previewing the 2024 Democrat Primary

Within a couple weeks of his being sworn in, just about every person on earth will wish Joe Biden was no longer president. Sure, the few surviving John B. Anderson voters will be thrilled to see 4 years of crushing austerity and half-assed attempts at Keynesian stimulus. But most people will begin dreaming about a brighter future.

Good news! The 2024 Democratic primary field is going to contain dozens of options. Bad news! They are all going to be disgusting piles of shit. 

The “top tier”

While it’s too early to do any handicapping, these are the candidates the media will treat as having the most realistic chances of securing the nomination. 

Kamala Harris

Kamala did not win a single primary delegate in 2020. This is because she dropped out before the first primary, and that was because no one likes her. She has no base beyond a few thousand of twitter’s most violent psychos. Her disingenuousness approaches John Edwards levels: any halfway incredulous person can see immediately beyond her bullshit. She has no principles whatsoever, and while that may be par for the course for Democrats, she lacks even the basic politician’s ability to intuit anything that might, hypothetically, constitute a principle. 

Even better: she is an awful public speaker. She sounds like how a talking dog would speak if he were just caught stealing people food off the kitchen table. She communicates in weird grunts and faux sassy squeaks, which is how she imagines real black women sound like, but something about her is unable to sell the bit. She begins her sentences in halfhearted AAVE, stops and panics halfway through as she realizes that maybe this sounds fake and offensive, and then reminds herself oh wait, no, this is okay since I’m black. This doesn’t happen once or twice per speech. This is how every single sentence sounds. 

Kamala is like Nancy Pelosi in that no sketch show will ever impersonate her correctly, because anything that came close to authenticity would be considered far too cruel. This might benefit her in the primaries, as she exists in the minds of Democrats as someone and something she absolutely is not in reality. Nominating her would be like allowing your child’s imaginary friend to attempt to drive you to the store. 

Andrew Cuomo

Easily one of the 50 worst people alive, Cuomo has a solid chance because Democrats, same as Republicans, are unable to differentiate between electability and self-serving ruthlessness. Cuomo used the deadliest public health crisis in American history as a pretext for cutting Medicaid and firing 5,000 MTA workers, and his approval rating increased. New York Dems are little piggies who love eating shit. If we assume that the political media will continue their habit of refusing to discuss the legislative history of right wing Democrats, Cuomo might well cruise to the nomination and then lose to literally any human being the GOP nominates by an historic margin. 

Joe Biden

The party loves him because he is a right wing racist. “Progressives” tolerate him because black primary voters over 40 supported him, and their opinion is supposedly a magic window into god’s truth. Everyone else can tell he is manifestly senile. I don’t put it above the DNC to pick a candidate who is in horrible health, dying, or even dead--whatever the financial sector wants, they’ll get. But I would be shocked if his approval rating is above 39% by mid-2023, and by that point deep fake technology will be advanced enough they’ll put out a very lifelike video in which the Max Headroom version of Joe explains he’s proud of his accomplishments--that budget’s almost balanced already--but, man, I gotta abd--I gotta abdica--, uhh, I gotta, I, uhh, I gotta move down, man. 

Wild Cards

These candidates would have all have a chance if they ran, but they could all much more easily retire to Little Saint James off of kickbacks they’ve gotten from Citibank and I.G. Farben. 

Rahm Emanuel

Rahm is going to receive some hugely influential post in the Biden administration. Let’s say he becomes Secretary of Education. His signature achievement will be replacing all elementary school teachers with Amazon’s Alexa, which saved the taxpayers so much money we were able to quadruple the number of armed police officers we put into high schools. This will give him several thousand positive profiles on network news programs and the near-universal support of the Silicon Valley vampires who will own 99% of the country by the time Biden’s term ends. They will use their fancy mind control devices to convince geriatic primary voters that Rahm’s the one who will bring Decency back to the white house. His candidacy will be the paragon of wokeness, as expressing concern toward the fact that he covered up the police murder of a black guy will get you called a racist. 

Rahm has a bonus in that Jewish men are now Schrodeniger’s PoC. When they are decent human beings, they are basic, cis white men who are stealing attention from disabled trans candidates of color. When they love austerity and apartheid, they become the most vulnerable people of color on earth and criticizing them in any way is genocide. No one will be able to mention a single thing Rahm has ever done or said without opening themselves to accusations of antisemitism, and that gives him a strong edge against the rest of the field. The good news is that an Emmanuel candidacy would result in over 50% of black voters choosing the GOP candidate--which, I guess that’s not really good but it would certainly be funny. 

Gavin Newsom

Newsom is every bit as feckless as Cuomo, but he doesn’t put off the same “bad guy in an early Steven Segal movie” vibes. He will mention climate change 50 times per speech and no one will bother to mention how he keeps signing fracking contracts even though his state is now on fire 11 months of the year. If anything, this will be spun into an argument about how he’s actually the candidate best suited to handle all the water refugees gathering on the southern border. Look for his plan to curb emissions by 10% by the year 2150 to get high marks from Sierra Club nerds. He’s also a celebate librarian’s idea of what constitutes a handsome man, so he’ll have some support from the type of women who claim to hate all men. 

Larry Summers

I mean, why not? Larry, like most members of the Obama administration, has politics that are eerily similar to those of Jordan Peterson. In normal circumstances, this makes a person a dangerous fascist who should not be platformed. But if that person has a D next to their name this makes them a realistic pragmatist who has what it takes to bring suburban bankers into our tent. If current trends in Woke Phrenology continue apace, Larry’s belief that women are inherently bad at STEM will be liberal orthodoxy by 2023, and his dedication to the Laffer Curve could see him rake in massive donations. Seriously, I’m not kidding: cultural liberalism is now fully dedicated to identity essentialism and balanced budgets. Larry is their ideal candidate. If he were black and/or a woman, I’d put him in the very top tier. 

Jay Inslee

Unlike Newsom, Inslee’s attempt to crown himself the King of Global Warming won’t be immediately derailed, since his state is only on fire because of protestors. This, however, poses a different problem. He’s going to be a good test case for the Democrat’s uneasy peace with the ever increasing share of the electorate who become catatonic upon hearing a pronoun. On the one hand, you need to take their votes for granted. On the other hand, they’re not like black people or regular gays: most voters actively, consciously despise wokies, and associating yourself with them will ruin a campaign even in deep blue areas. There’s still gonna be riots in a year. Biden’s gonna announce the sale of all our nation’s potable water to the good folks at Nestle and some trans freak named Sasha-Malia DeBalzac is going to use that as an opportunity to sell their new pamphlet about how it’s fascist to not burn down small businesses. No matter what Inslee does in response, it’ll end his career. 

AOC

I’m not one of those “AOC is a secret conservative” weirdos, but I am aware enough of basic reality to know she has zero chance of coming close to the nomination. The right and the center both regard her as a literal demon. The party is already blaming her for the fact that a handful of faceless Reagan acolytes failed to flip their suburban districts even though they ran on sensible pragmatic proposals like euthanizing the homeless. The recriminations will only get more unhinged when the Dems eat shit in the 2022 midterms. She will be a Russian, she will be white male, she will be a communist, she will be a homophobe: any insult or conspiracy theory you can name, MSNBC will spend hours discussing. Her house seat challenger will receive a record amount of support from the DNC in 2024 and it’ll be all she can do to remain in congress.

Larry Hogan

Don’t be dissuaded by the fact that he’s a Republican. Larry is the DNC’s ideal candidate: a physically repulsive conservative who owes his entire career to appealing to the most spiteful desires of suburban white people. He’s an open racist in a material sense--if you’re old-school enough to think racism is a matter of beliefs and actions, rather than the presence of cultural signifiers--but his is the beloved “never Trump” style of racism that Dems covet. He’s also a Proven Leader who thinks the role of government should be to finance the construction of investment property and give police the resources they need to run successful drug trafficking operations. Few people embody the Democrat worldview more than Larry. 

The Losers Bracket

These people will have at least a small chance due solely to the fact that the Democrats love losing. They have lost in the past, and in the Democrat Mind that makes them especially qualified.

Joe Kennedy

The man looks like a mushroom-human hybrid from a JRPG. Trump proved that physical hideousness need not doom a presidential bid, but a candidate still needs some kind of charm or oratorical abilities or, god forbid, a decent platform. Joe aggressively lacks all of these things. A vanity campaign would be a good way to raise money and perhaps secure an MSNBC gig, so Joe might still run. 

Mayor Pete 

I am 100% convinced that Pete’s 2020 run was a CIA plot meant to prevent working class Americans from ever having a chance of living decent lives. I am also 100% aware that Democrats are dumb enough to enthusiastically support a CIA plot meant to prevent working class Americans from ever having a chance of living decent lives. If we have some sort of military or terror disaster between now and 2023 the Dems are sure to want a TROOP, and wait wait wait you’re telling me this one is a gay troop? Holy hell there’s no way that could lose!

Stacy Abrams

Never underestimate the power of white guilt. She lost the gubernatorial race to Gomer Pyle’s grandson, and her spiritual guidance of the Dems saw the party lose black voters in Georgia in 2020. Nonetheless, she is regarded as a magic font of fierceness within the DNC. She might stand a chance if she can establish herself as the most conservative non-white candidate in the field, but there’s going to be stiff competition for that honor.

Elizabeth Warren

Liz is probably angry that the party so shamelessly sold her out even after she was a good little girl and sabatoged Bernie’s campaign for them--yet another example of high ranking US government officials reneging on their promises to the Native American community. Smdh. The fact that this woman hasn’t been bankrupted a dozen times over by various Wallet Inspectors genuinely astounds me. So Liz is probably going to run again, and her campaign will be even sadder the second time around. 

It might surprise you to hear this if you don’t work at a college or NGO, but Liz diehards actually do exist. She’ll get even less support this time because there will be no viable leftist in the field for her to spoil, but she’ll still hang in long enough to make sure the very worst possible candidate beats out the second worst possible candidate. Maybe she’ll fabricate a rape accusation against Sherrod Brown. Maybe she’ll spend her entire allotted debate time doing a land acknowledgment. With Liz, anything is possible--so long as it ends in failure. 

Amy Klobuchar 

Amy was the most bloodthirsty of the 2020 also rans. She will double down on the unpopular failures of the Biden administration, explaining that if you weren’t such a selfish idiot you’d love the higher social security retirement age and oh my god are so such a moron you think you shouldn’t go bankrupt to get a COVID vaccine? There’s a non-unsubstantial segment of the Democratic base that’s self-hating enough to find this appealing, but it won’t be enough to make her viable. 

Martha Coakley

She lost Ted Kennedy’s senate seat to a retarded man who was pretending to be even more retarded than he actually was. Then she lost a gubernatorial race to a guy who openly promised Massachusetts voters that he would punish them for electing him. Her record of failure is unparalleled, making her perhaps the ideal Democrat standard bearer for the twenty twenties. 

[spectre-requisitions-exchange]

Nominations are LIVE!

Time to get to nominating this year’s delicious rare pairs!

When nominating, please fill in “Mass Effect – All Media Types” in the fandom box.

As a reminder, both gen (&) and romantic (/) relationship tags are allowed for this exchange. Any relationship that fulfils the criteria below is eligible! If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask the mods!

ELIGIBILITY RULES:

A pairing must have 200 or less works when viewed with completed works OR

NEW: A pairing may have over 200 works, but when viewed with completed works and otp:true parameters, the amount of remaining works is both under 200 and less than 1/3rd of the total number of works. 

For Example:

* If Adrian Victus/Steve Cortez has 138 works, then it will be accepted as it has less than 200 works. No further filtering is needed.

* If Volus God (Self-Declared)/Liara’s Hanar Half-Sister has over 200 works, but when searched with the above parameters, only has 5 works, it would be allowed as it would have met the under the 1:3rd ratio rule.

* If Brooks/Krogan Wondering About Fish on the Citadel has over 200 works, but when searched with OTP: true and completed works parameters, has 100 works, then it would not be allowed, as the ratio between the completed works and completed works with just the pairing (otp:true) would be too high to qualify. This new rule is meant to help pairings that are commonly used as “side pairings” but rarely are featured in works where they are the focus.

If you have any questions on those rules or you just want to hang out and talk Mass Effect pairs beyond the most popular ones, consider joining us at Our Discord server. It’s a great place to hang out and talk rare pairs.

If this is your first year or you just want a  guide to find out how to do nominations, please read below:

1) Go to the Ao3 Tagset Page for Spectre Requisitions while logged into Ao3. A tagset is what most Ao3 fan exchanges use to determine what relationships (in Spec Rec’s case) or other criteria are used for an exchange.

If a pairing is not nominated, it will not be able to be used for sign-ups, regardless of whether it would have been eligible otherwise. (Example: Suvi/Chakwas, while certainly being eligible as far as total works go, won’t be an option to ask for if it’s not nominated.)  

If you don’t have an Ao3 account, contact the mods, we’ll be happy to help you get one with an invite link!

If you do have an AO3 account and you’re logged in, you should see this button in the corner that says “Nominate”:

2) Click the Nominate Button.

You should wind up with a page that looks like this, with 1 fandom tag and lots of relationship fields to fill out:

3) Fill out the Nominations Sheet.

For fandom, please use “Mass Effect - All Media Types”. We only use Mass Effect - All Media Types because it gives us the highest chance of getting that sweet, sweet Mass Effect content in there regardless of potentially sticky couples (for example: crossovers between a book and a game, or between the Mass Effect Trilogy and Andromeda, or crossovers between other media and Mass Effect) and because Ao3 frankly doesn’t like it when we have couples wandering through different fandoms in the tagset. For Relationships, any pairing/threesome/moresome that meets the eligibility rules. For most pairings, Ao3 should help autocomplete it for you -- but if you come up with a very original pairing (or AO3 is feeling unhelpful), it may require you to type in the full thing. If it does not auto-complete, don’t worry - you can still submit it! Pairings should be in alphabetical order of names. One pairing per line, please!

4) Submit your Nominations! Just click the button on the bottom, and you should be off off and away!

FAQ:

How can I tell what is under 200 completed fics? I’m not a mind reader, C-sec officer!

You can search AO3′s tags here to find pairings for a given character (canonical only gives you pairings big enough that Ao3 has declared them canonical categories). It should look something like this:

If you see a number under 200 here, you’re golden! Submit away. If it’s over 200 here, however, don’t despair - check the completed works. For example, let’s look at this couple, Garrus/Tali:

Doesn’t look eligible if you just do a tag search. However, if you click the tag and then do a search for completed works only and you might be surprised!

To do this search for completed works, look at the “Sort and Filter” sidebar and scroll down until you reach the “More Options” field and under “All Works”:

Click complete works only. And in this case, you’d find this couple is, in fact, eligible!

However, let’s say you look at the couple and find they are still over 200, as in the example below?

Well, there is one last thing to check:

Go back to the sidebar, then down to More Options and scroll down to “Search within results”:

OTP: True will show you ONLY the works that are tagged with JUST the target couple. When you sort and filter, you will see a total. In this example’s case, that number is 30:

What this means is that off the 204 works in Garrus/Tali right now, only 30 only focus on Garrus/Tali as a couple. As a result, the ratio of otp:true works to completed works is less than 1/3rd of the total, and the couple would be allowed to participate.

What if I accidentally nominate something that’s not eligible? Will I get in trouble?

Nah. You might wind up with it being rejected, but we assume most people operate in good faith in their nominations. If we reject a couple, we will always put it in the spreadsheet for the year linked on the sidebar with a reason why.

How many things can I nominate?

10 pairings - so choose carefully what you’d like to see and write. That covers both Andromeda and Trilogy, and all the novels, comics, etc.

Can I nominate, even if I’m not sure I’ll sign up or don’t plan on signing up?

Of course! Nominating isn’t a binding process - you’re only voting for what you’d like to see. You don’t have to sign up after nominating things - in fact, nominations are anonymous, so we can’t tell what you’ve nominated.

Are there any special rules/restrictions on what I can/can’t nominate?

Only the eligibility rules.

Can I nominate Original Characters?

Yes - ish. We allow original characters who are defined enough to give the person who matches on the original character something to go on, but not so much so they have to do an exhaustive amount of research on a fanon character. For example:

Allowable OC nominations:

Female Asari Spectre/Female Cerberus Agent - both these roles are defined in terms of what category of pairing they want (f/f), and the two roles give someone an idea of who these people are without being excessively limiting.

Not-so-allowable:

Communications Officer/Male Original Character: both of these are too vague. We’re not sure whether this person wants a male, female, nonbinary, or other gender for the Communication’s Officer; Male Original Character is so nebulously defined that we’re not sure just who that might be.

Female Shepard/Batarian(s) - We don’t know who these batarians are, or how many of them there are. “Five Male Batarian Pilots” tells us a lot more.

Male Shepard/Legion/Ebony Raven Darkmayne (My OC) - While we encourage you to add details about your Shepards or other OCs, it’s very hard to write for original characters someone else has formed. Please nominate your OC in more generic terms (ex Male Shepard/Legion/Female Original Goffic Hogwarts Student).  You can add in names and descriptions in optional details in your sign up, but this way the writer or artist has more wiggle room for what will suit their fic or art, and you have more options of matching more people since you aren’t limited to one interpretation of a concept.

A good rule of thumb is if you can sum up an OC in five non-name nouns, it’s probably a valid nomination.

Can I nominate crossovers?

Yes! Crossovers between different Mass Effect properties are welcome and and are crossovers between ! Just please, if the character you’re crossing over doesn’t hail from a Mass Effect canon, add in the canon next to the character name, eg “Darth Vader (Star Wars)/Garrus Vakarian.”