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anonzentimes · 3 months ago

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Hi there! I stumbled across your blog randomly, and I’m so glad I did. I’ve gotten into DR recently and I’ve been hooked on Nagito’s character for many of the reasons you are! I’ve already read a few of your analyses and I love them, it’s amazing getting more insight into one of my favorite DR characters from someone who really understands him!

I’m not sure if you’ve already done this, but if it’s not too much trouble, do you think you can do an analysis on just how fucking smart Nagito is? I think he’s one of the most intelligent and observant characters in DR2. I’m rewatching DR2 and bro lk carries the trials with his hints, a lot of times it seems he figured out the culprit before anyone else. That’s not even mentioning the entirety of Chapter 5!

Sorry if this is a weird ask, it’s an aspect of Nagito’s character that I personally don’t really see talked about too much (then again I haven’t been in the fandom for that long lol) I’d love to hear your thoughts! Thanks again for all your lovely analyses!

I’d just like to start this out by saying sorry it’s taken me a while to answer this, I like to articulate big stuff like this when I’m able to and less tired (at my best) so apologies for the wait!

Thank you so much! I’m really happy you enjoy my rambles, especially as someone who just got into the series! I’m honored to be told I understand him by so many people since he means so much to me. Your request actually hasn’t been asked before so don’t worry! I’ll try my best to express that Nagito is Really Smart, and god Is he Really smart.

I don’t know why he ended up so intelligent, but I like to believe that from thinking so much and forming his beliefs it caused him to be pretty smart. That paired with the obvious life experiences that his luck gives him, and just being born with that type of mind results in him being pretty smart. Honestly I want to say I think Nagito is a very emotionally strong character for going so much trauma and still at the end of the day being able to form a coping mechanism and live on, or if you want to put it into other words to be able hold onto hope despite everything. But of course, too much of anything is a bad thing and over time it becomes obsessive and unhealthy as we can see. He’s also extremely tragic in that sense as well. But anyways, that’s all just to say I think Nagito’s insane life experience helped him become smarter. He also seems to read as a hobby, given how there are an immense amount of books in his cottage. If I recall he also spends a lot of his time at the library on the island usually, but the books in his room are already enough to support the fact he reads anyways. This is to say I’m sure his intelligence is also helped by how he reads lots of books.

So far this has all been my thoughts on how Nagito became to be such a smart person, but now I want to talk about some of the things he actually does with it. For starters, I feel like there’s something to be said about how he through living his unfortunate life understands he has luck and uses it to his advantage. He views himself in a very negative way that isn’t entirely setting himself to the standard of the talentless, not that he’d ever be outright aggressive to the talentless, or with the talented to him he’s in this worthless middle ground. He’s low enough where he would criticize the talentless for being too bold or not being a stepping stone given the hierarchy be believes in, but he also isn’t entirely equivalent given he does have a talent. He just believes his talent is awful because it has given him so much trauma and more so killed everyone he’s ever loved, but even so he uses it to his advantage and uses it as “the one thing he’s capable at,” although he would never use it for selfish reasons given how selfless he is. This is all to say that he’s incredibly smart for not only recognizing this, but coming up with plans and ways to achieve his goals by using his own luck. It’s his thing, be believes it’s awful and by extension he is worthless himself, but it’s the thing he has and he uses it, trusts it, and relies on it whole heartedly. He’s able to achieve his goals by abusing his luck, and the plans he comes up with to use his luck to get an outcome he wants showcases just how Intelligent he really is constantly. In Danganronpa 3 when he wants to postpone the test because he wants everyone to be at their best, he comes up with an entire plan for multiple options if some of them fail to get what he wants to achieve. He knows due to his luck that he will get what he wants by following through with any of these plans, and thinks of possible ways he can get what he wants. In Chapter 1 of Danganronpa 2 he relies on his luck, figures out what to do, and plans everything out using his intelligence. His good luck directly impacts him while his bad luck usually impacts everybody else unless it has nobody to go after, so in that case his plan technically doesn’t work like how he hoped but he still got what he wanted in the end. Nagito is able to also entirely clear the final dead room easily with his intelligence, and again relies on his luck because he’s smart enough to understand how his own luck works to use it. The biggest display of intelligence probably is the entire suicide he plans out, I don’t think I even have to say much on it for the point to be conveyed that he’s INCREDIBLY smart for being able to come up with something so elaborate. Just like the things i’ve mentioned here, he trusts his luck in the process. But the way that his plan doesn’t work, the way that it fails unexpectedly is that Hajime despite being so conflicted is able to finally not put it aside and use his understanding of Nagito to put himself in his shoes, see the world how he thinks, and solve the case. He has to trust in Nagito’s luck like Nagito does, something that he couldn’t have accounted for, to solve the case. That’s one of the major reasons Chapter 5 is so amazing, we have to trust his luck just like he does to get to the bottom of things. Even so, all of these things are a testament to just how smart he really is. This isn’t even mentioning how he’s smart enough to know things about the case, help out, but not fully solve it for them because his goals center around seeing the ultimates shine and be more capable than he can be, at least he believes he can’t be as capable but his beliefs are what actually hold him back. He is incredibly smart and this is shown time and time again, he is a wonderful character and his intelligence is only one aspect that contributes to how amazing and interesting he is.

He’s incredibly observant as well. He’s more observant than he is able to fully grasp social cues, or more so due to his absolute beliefs it prevents him from fully grasping other people’s perspective and his trauma making him more numb results in difficulty coming off as he intends to mostly when he’s at his worst or coping. For this reason he is usually the outcast but doesn’t understand the true reason he is hated and just thinks it’s because of the factual hierarchy, his absolute beliefs, he doesn’t usually comprehend things that center around them not being believed or being factual and is conflicted or frustrated when things put them into question or go against it. I try to explain this and bring it up because he relies on observation of people’s reactions more than anything. He is extremely observant in general and he uses his observations especially in social situations to help himself. Even when he doesn’t understand the reason why or feels it is an out of place reaction because he doesn’t fully understand the other’s perspective, he can absolutely observe other people fully. This is mostly just an add on to everything else in my massive statement to express how smart he is, but I just want to mention how observant he is. It helps him with solving cases and social situations extremely often. It also is shown how absolute his beliefs are by how his observations sometimes confuse him or cause him to feel as if the hierarchy is proven right because he cannot see it as anything but fact because he is so far gone. Most people believe in the hierarchy subconsciously but he believes in it as fact and is more expressive and honest in general as a person. Anyway, again, just main point here is he’s incredibly observant.

Hopefully this is a good short summary or way to express how intelligent he is, if there’s anything more you’d like me to cover about his intelligence that you think I missed or didn’t summarize well enough let me know! Sorry again that this has taken a while. Side note: I’m just posting this without revising it much, so I may edit it later or remove typos but for the most part if there’s any weird wordings or typos sorry about that, haha! I don’t have the time to revise it at the moment.

Thank you for your ask!!! <3

#nagito komaeda #danganronpa #sdr2 nagito #danganronpa nagito #sdr2 #danganronpa komaeda #sdr2 komaeda #komaeda nagito #danganronpa goodbye despair #nagito #komaeda #nagito dr2 #komaedology

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carpisuns · 3 years ago

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New anon, but I saw the last one and I have some thoughts. Specifically, I have been obsessing over ml for the last month or so, and I’ve only seen three episodes, and they were the three released before crocoduel. And you know what? I wasn’t that into it, it wasn’t bad it just wasn’t half as engaging as fanon and fanworks have been for me.

I’ve also done this with the Magicians, Supernatural, and a couple others. I think the reason that this works, for some people, is because it is a more familiar and in many ways, easier way to discover and become attached to new material and new characters. Fan writers and artists are coming from a place of love for their source material (no matter what issues they may have with it) and that bleeds out into their work. Time is spent developing the characters and their feelings, their relationships, in ways that canon so often can’t or isn’t allowed to, and reading that, it’s very easy to fall in love with new characters very quickly. There’s also common AUs and dynamics that make it much easier to start something new.

And also: comfort characters. So many fans find common ground with characters and further project onto them, particularly in fanfic. And because of that it’s often easier to identify with a fan’s interpretation of a character than it is to identify with the canon’s, since you have these more deeply explored feelings and relationships based on a combination of canon and the personal experiences of the fan writer. Also, with these kinds of fics it’s extremely emotionally affirming since for someone who doesn’t have much of any connection with the source material, it feels like the original, even if you’re reading a large body of work by a lot of different people. And I’m so used to fanfic as a substitute for the emotional work and character development that shows/movies/books don’t have room for or aren’t willing to get into, that approaching a fandom as it’s own original piece of media in a way, feels very comforting.

That’s my perspective on it anyways, and why I do this. I do think it is a good thing to engage with the canon to an extent, even if it’s just watching a few clips (how I found ml) but I also don’t think you need any real connection or knowledge of it to be deeply invested in the fandom. Sorry, this got very long.

you know, i totally get being on, like, the fringe of fandoms and interacting with fanon to an extent without a proper investment in canon (I have a couple fandoms like that), but i honestly just can't imagine becoming super invested in a fandom when I am not invested in the source material...maybe that's just a difference between you and me, idk.

but also, i gotta admit that i'm struggling a bit to understand the reason. you yourself pointed out that fan work is enjoyable because the creator's love for canon bleeds into it. and isn't that the reason that you would want to give canon a real chance? obviously there is fan content made out of spite lol (and sadly a fair amount in this fandom), but to me most fan content is like a love letter to canon. like, "i adore this thing so much that it inspired me to create and share with other people who adore it." and what better recommendation is there than that?? i would think people would wanna familiarize themselves with canon in order to better enjoy fanon(?)

i completely understand your point about fan content delving further into characterization and relationships where canon hasn't/can't, and that is such a big appeal of fanfic/fanart. but i don't feel like that's a reason to not engage with canon? on the contrary, i feel like you are missing something important in your understanding and appreciation of that wonderful exploration if you haven't experienced firsthand the foundation that canon set. and maybe that missing thing is just your personal interpretation of a character/dynamic.

for example, i could say, "adrien agreste is this, this, and this and he would do this but not this." and of course i will think im right because my characterization is always perfect 😌sakjdfaldjks but someone else might have a slightly different interpretation, and someone else will have another interpretation, and when you mush all those individual takes on a character together, you will get a good sense of who they are, but you still don't have the Original™️ to draw your own interpretation from. idk, to me it sounds like basing your opinion of chocolate ice cream on what other people are saying about it without ever trying it yourself? ajsldakljf maybe that's an oversimplification but i do think that without experiencing it for yourself, your understanding will always be kind of incomplete.

idk, i big agree with everything you said about why fan content is special, but everything that is a point in fanon's favor is not a knock on canon. to me fan content feels pretty inseparable from canon, so it just doesn't compute to me to take canon out of the equation? then we would have nothing.

i feel like it's almost kinda trendy nowadays to be like, "oh this show actually sucks lmao but the fanon and AUs are good." like it's shameful to actually...enjoy source material? 😭 i mean i completely understand that miraculous ladybug is not gonna be everyone's cup of tea and that's fine! but if you truly enjoy the fan content that much i encourage you to give canon a real shot. it's not that surprising to me that you watched 3 recent episodes and didn't vibe that much, since you haven't seen the 3 seasons of buildup that lead to them. miraculous has a neat way of tying a bunch of things together so if you aren't familiar with all of it, you're probably missing out.

personally my love for miraculous was kind of a slowburn at first. i only started watching the show because my sister and i made a deal that forced me to watch the first few eps lol. and i didn't really vibe either. but there must have been enough of a spark there for me to keep watching bc for some reason i did and the more i watched the more i fell in love with it until it became the thing that occupies my brain more than anything else. i started with canon and then got into fanon, but it could easily go the other way too. and if you're already invested in the story and characters, i have to imagine it would be much easier to push past the initial cringe of "this is a show about a couple of teen furries rated TV-Y7 on netflix" lol and give anything you don't vibe with the benefit of the doubt.

again, to be clear, i'm not trying to judge or gatekeep here! i'm just saying this because i genuinely LOVE miraculous. it's my favorite show. that's why i make things for it. that's why i have this blog. i want people to watch it. so maybe, pwetty pwease, try watching the show you like so much? 🥺👉👈

(source bc i was too lazy to make my own so i stole this from twitter)

#anon #ask #fandom #long post

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kinetic-elaboration · 2 years ago

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June 24: Finishing Jane Eyre

Finally finished Jane Eyre this week, though since I still have the book and it’s a critical edition, I’m keeping it a little longer to read some of the essays and stuff in the back. I feel like my brain is... not rotted, but way too stuffed full with fannish analysis, since that’s most of the media-response type stuff I read nowadays, post English-dgree, and while there’s nothing BAD about that and I’ve read some very smart things written by fans on the internet, it’s obviously not the SAME as critical essays. So I think this will be good for me. Also, while Jane Eyre didn’t leave me feeling confused, this was the first time I’ve read it and I was largely just fun reading. I wasn’t thinking too deep. I just want someone to explain the nuances and themes to me lol.

And it does kinda worry me that most of the analysis I was able to do, or did easily at least, was very...relationship-y, I suppose. I mean that is a lot of the book. But I felt like it was very inflected by the way I analyze relationships through fandom.

As I read the ending, and I got to the description of the fire and Rochester’s injuries and for some reason it upset me disproportionately. But I’ve had weird feelings recently, like a greater susceptibility to feeling just sad or melancholy, so it might be that. I just felt kind of sick but I don’t know why. It then became clearer to me that the injuries, especially the blindness, were ways of quickly fixing Rochester and Jane’s problems, just as much as Bertha’s death was necessary to allow them to marry legally. Blinded, he needs assistance; he can’t be the arrogant and controlling person he was during their first engagement; the negative traits he perhaps hasn’t fixed or worked through are at the very least harder to lean into or display.

The essay I was skimming was talking about the equality of Jane and Rochester: the initial implications of that equality, the underlying lie of it, and how it is necessary for their happy ending, and now I can’t remember my thoughts without this vocabulary. It is really helpful though!

I just felt like... this is such an I-Can-Fix-Him Fantasy. His power over her, stemming from his position and his wealth and his age but primarily from his sex, has to be taken away for him to be her happy ending husband. But that power is so deep rooted, it’s hard to think of anything that could upend it, even Jane’s new wealth. Rochester by the end is still appealing in his devotion but he can never force her into a life she isn’t interested in or lord his knowledge, secrets, wealth, or physical stature over her. A defanged man.

I did think that one of his glaring faults was that he relied too much on Jane to be a Savior for him; he saw her as nearly magical, the person who would solve all his problems including the problems of his own personality and moral dissolution. That’s not healthy, bro. That also wasn’t solved by the end really except, first, he did kinda find his religious faith without her (through his trials etc.) and, second, his reliance on her literally and physically was cast in a positive light. It’s good that he relies on her for everything! Because she wants to be helpful! Maybe his obsession with her was always part of the fantasy. I found it to be a bit of a red flag in and of itself.

The end of the penultimate chapter, where he “holds out his hand to be led” really got me. It distilled in one sentence the same sentiment as the “defeated eagle” passage, which also affected me a lot. What used to be a manic devotion and need for her that was creepily obsessive and unrealistic, that transformed her into an idealized object without recognizing her as a complete and flawed human, was transformed into a literal reliance on her, which is both softer and more objectively reasonable, and also more easily controlled--a submissive reliance, in a way.

I’ve had such a tough day and I’m 95% sure this is incoherent or, at least, really shallow as a book reaction. But I don’t care! Vacation time!

#the year 2022 #2022: reading #i'm traveling tomorrow and then writing frantically to finish troped on sunday #end of plans

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charmingyong · 3 years ago

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Loving Your Voice

Spring comes, where’s your heart?

Genre: Radio jockey!Johnny x loyal fem listener!reader, Taeyong x reader, love quadrangle, angst

Warnings: angst, forbidden love, unrequited love, sacrifice, no happy ending with either male lead

Word count: 6k

Plot: Every night, you religiously tuned into a daily radio program just to hear the voice of the man who had wholly captured your heart, despite never having seen him before. Your wish came true and met Johnny in the most unexpected way, not having prepared yourself that he was never going to be yours.

A/N: Inspired by IU’s Lilac, the book One Day in December by Josie Silver, and of course NCT Night Night. The book has a happy ending, but Lilac hurt me lol. NNN lines were obtained from 12-10-2018, 16-08-2017, and 16-03-2018.

- ❀ -

You giddily ran into your bedroom and kicked the door shut, smacking your forehead when you forgot that your old pair of earphones broke recently. You hurriedly rummaged through the drawers of your desk and dresser in search for a working pair out of thin air. When you couldn’t, you cursed under your breath and ran your hand through your hair.

There had to be one somewhere.

And you suddenly remembered a pair that you obtained at work. Your workbag? In the living room.

Bursting out of your room, you found your bag on the sofa, and sighed in relief when you spotted your lifesaver. You were not willing to sacrifice on the audio and settle for the speaker on your phone because you wanted to hear his heart-fluttering voice crystal clear. Your eyes roamed around to search for the time on the wall clock.

10:59pm

Your breath hitched and you dashed back into your room. Plopping down on your chair by your desk, you connected the earphones and set up the app where the radio program was being broadcasted, relieved to catch the opening before any words were exchanged.

Right after the opening song, you heard Jaehyun read his script with his deep voice. “While I was away, the weather gets chillier. But still, your heart towards me hasn’t cooled down, right?”

That was right. Your heart still hadn’t cooled down, despite only having heard his voice and never seeing his face before.

For the one who spoke next.

“NCT’s Night Night~”

Johnny.

This had been your life the past few years ever since the program began. The second you heard his beautiful voice, it did something to your heart. The more the nights went by listening to him, the more your heart grew and without realizing it, you were in love with him. You loved the way he’d speak with such a gentle tone for the listeners and joke around brightly with the guests on the show. You had been able to pick up on things he liked and opinions on various matters when having conversations with his radio buddy, always setting your heart alight.

Because your heart beat for Johnny, you couldn’t look at any other guy. You’d get asked a lot by your friends and colleagues why you wouldn’t date, a question you hadn’t been able to give them a proper answer to. What would you say? That you were in love with a man who you had only heard his voice and had never directly interacted with before? It was better to stay silent until your wish would come true and meet him one day.

Maybe then, things might be in your luck and something blooms between you two.

- ❀ -

“How’s this dress?” your baby sister Yeri asked. She held a white dress with blue floral print against her chest.

You hummed. “It’s cute. Totally suits you.”

“Right? I’m buying this,” she beamed. “He’s so going to like this,” she muttered more to herself.

You blinked at her. “Who?”

She smirked. “Someone I’ll be introducing to you soon,” she said with a wink sent your way.

“No way... you’re seeing a guy! Who is he?” Yeri had always gushed about cute boys from afar and never once going up to them to confront her feelings. So her finally in a relationship was big news.

Yeri laughed. “Patience, girl. I know it’s crazy that I finally won one over and you’re gonna like him. He just has that charm.”

Your heart pumped fast at the thought of your precious sister smiling next to her boyfriend. It was one thing you had always wanted to see, your sister’s happiness a priority above anything else in the world.

“Well then, I’m definitely looking forward to meeting this mysterious boy.”

- ❀ -

Sipping on the cappuccino, you were jittery for the meetup, your foot tapping against the tiles of the café. Yeri was really excited to introduce you to him while you were worried. What if he wasn’t like the way she described him as? What if he was a jerk lowkey who didn’t deserve her?

“You’re really tensed, girl. Chill out! He’s not gonna bite,” she joked.

“I know. I just hope he’s a good guy for you,” you spoke quietly.

“Of course he is! He’s super easy to talk to and has a lot of manners and loves to joke around. There’s nothing to be worried about.” Her eyes traveled to behind you and beamed at the figure walking towards your table. “He’s here!” Yeri jumped out of her chair and hopped over to him.

You turned around in your seat to find a tall man, definitely charming like she mentioned, grinning widely at your sister with his pearly teeth on display. “Hi baby.”

Yeri latched onto his arm and brought him over in front of you. “Y/N, meet my sweet boyfriend.”

His eyes locked with yours and offered you a warm smile, making you return it. “Hi Y/N. I’m glad to finally meet you. Yeri talks about you a lot. Oh and I’m Johnny.”

Your smile fell and felt your heartbeat stop altogether. Johnny? And that voice... “Your voice sounds familiar,” you breathed out.

Yeri clapped her hands at your words. “Oh yeah! You might have heard him on the radio. He’s one of the radio jockeys on NCT Night Night program.”

No…

Your gaze didn’t waver from the tall boy as your heart dropped to your feet, shattering into a million pieces and beyond ability to ever repair it. After all these years, you finally met the man of the voice who captured your heart, only for him to turn out to be your sister’s boyfriend.

“No way! Do you listen to my show?” Johnny asked with sparkle in his eyes at the possibility of meeting a fan.

You fumbled with your tongue inside your mouth before making up your decision. “Yeah, I listen every night. It’s... fun.” You pressed your lips together to stop your heart from spilling out the real reason.

“Wow, my girlfriend’s sister is my fan. I’m honoured. Tell me, who do you like more? JaeD or JohnD? I’m sure you’ll say JohnD,” he joked with a wink.

Yeri smacked his arm. “Hey! You can’t ask her that when you’re in front of her. She’ll obviously pick you.”

Johnny laughed at her, the same laugh he’d do on the radio that would make your heart flutter.

You never thought that hearing it in person would feel so melancholic.

- ❀ -

“So? What do you think about Johnny?”

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Well, you wished for that. If your heart hadn’t already reserved it for him, then you would have been happily sharing your joy with her. Why did you have to be head over heels for that radio jockey? Johnny was definitely someone you’d trust Yeri with, ever since yours was already. “He’s… good.”

She anticipated for more but when you didn’t say more, her smile fell. “That’s it? I thought you’ll like him. Plus, he turned out to be someone you listen to on the radio. I can’t believe you haven’t fallen for him.”

You bit your cheeks on the inside and held back from spilling the truth. “He sounds like a good guy on the radio. So you’re good.” Staying curt was your best option.

Keep it short. Don’t let her know.

Her lips curled up. “Really? So you like him?”

“Yes.” But not like the way you think.

She placed her hand over her heart. “Thank goodness. I thought you didn’t since you were so quiet during the meet.”

You turned away from her so that she couldn’t see your sorrowful eyes.

- ❀ -

Yeri and Johnny.

Yeri and…

You groaned inwardly, frustrated that your mind had a hard time believing that there was no you with Johnny. It was even harder to believe that it was a relationship between your sister and your DJ love.

Johnny sat beside your sister at the diner while you watched them, painfully watched them feed each other and chatter happily from across. Why were you third wheeling? The lovey doves insisted.

“Y/N, how does that theme sound like?”

You didn’t realize that you had zoned out until Yeri waved her hand in front of you. “Huh? Sorry l wasn’t listening.”

Johnny quirked an eyebrow up. “You weren’t listening? Are you sure you listen to my radio if your attention span is that small?”

Yeri smacked his arm. “Don’t be mean to her like that!”

“You know I was joking.”

You knew that but it hurt. Hurt that he’d think that of you when you loved listening to his voice. But that moment, you couldn’t help but want to distract yourself. “Sorry. I was just zoned out. What theme are you talking about?”

Yeri rolled her eyes at you. “Girl, focus! We’re discussing about our wedding theme.”

Your breathing stilled. “What wedding?”

Her eyes widened like you were crazy. “Have you not been listening to anything? I mean our wedding. Mine and Johnny’s.”

You froze, almost positive that your soul had for sure left you. Was Johnny being Yeri’s boyfriend not enough that the news of Johnny becoming her future husband had to be broken to you this early? “What do you mean your wedding? How long has it been since you two met?”

Yeri nodded, agreeing that it was too soon for one. “Yeah, it hasn’t been long. But for some reason, we click so well like we’re meant to be.”

Pang.

Johnny added, “Yeah, Yeri’s right. I understand it might be worrisome for you, Y/N, like you just met me and now talks of our wedding happen this fast. But I assure you that everything will go well since our love for each other is that strong.”

Your palms began sweating profusely. It was too soon, but it didn’t matter as long as it was with the right person. And for Yeri, she definitely had it right. “Yeah but…” Your words died in your mouth. What could you even say to that? Please don’t. I love him with all my heart, ever since I first tuned to his radio. No, you weren’t selfish. They clearly loved each other and you had no right to get in their way, no matter how much you loved JohnD. Sighing, your shoulders slumped and softly uttered, “I guess you’re right.”

There was no Y/N and Johnny.

- ❀ -

10:52pm

Ready at your desk just like how your night routine would go, you were feeling a mixture of emotions. You craved to hear his voice, but with all the recent memories made and wrecking you, you didn’t know if this was the time for you to let go of your love for JohnD.

To close a chapter in your life.

Every association with Johnny felt like you were walking on a pile of needles. The stabbing pain hadn’t gone one bit ever since you learned that he was your sister’s boyfriend and it was clear that they both loved each other very much.

Your love life wasn’t meant to be. Should this be the last time for you to listen to him? You had devoted one hour every day of your life to tune into the radio. To give that up suddenly wasn’t going to be easy.

Take baby steps and let him go.

But you wouldn’t be able to let him go fully. Not when he was going to be stuck to your sister’s side. There was no way you’d get over him if you couldn’t fully get him out of your life. It would have been easier if Johnny was someone else’s boyfriend.

Yeri, why did it have to be you?

11:00pm

The intro music cued, followed by an opening. There was no time for you to think about anything else except diving into tonight’s program without another thought.

Let’s see how tonight goes.

“I’ve waited for today all this long?”

Wait…

“My heart for you was like this? I never knew.”

That’s not JaeD or JohnD…

“But my heart right now, is dancing.”

Who is he?

“NCT’s Night Night.” That voice you recognized as the one who left a knife in your heart.

A song began shortly as the radio jockeys prepped for the night. The unfamiliar voice left a great impression on you. Though not enough to forget about the constant ache in your heart. The new voice comforted you in a way that you thought was nearly impossible after the heartbreak. After the song ended, the introduction began and you paid close attention to learn about the temporary DJ.

“Hello! Today I, Taeyong, am the special DJ of NCT’s Night Night. Call me TyongD!” the new bright voice said with high tension.

Throughout the episode, you listened to his voice and while TyongD couldn’t help you get over your love for JohnD, you were curious to meet this Taeyong guy.

- ❀ -

Standing in the lobby of the broadcasting station, you waited for the boys to be finished with their program. Johnny had texted you to meet up there as Taeyong was going be the special DJ for a while until Jaehyun returned from his trip. Why were you being called over at midnight instead of over lunch or something? You didn’t know. But at least it was the weekend so you didn’t have to worry about waking up on time for work.

When the clock struck midnight, you listened to them wrap up the episode on your phone and turned it off. The doors opened and you found Johnny walk out alone, no one behind him yet.

He sent you a genuine smile and waved as he made his way over.

You quietly checked him out, staring at his handsome features that you failed to capture from the start. His voice was beautiful and couple that with his face… You let out a long sigh. Fate was way too cruel on you.

Johnny noticed a tear well up in your eye and gasped. “Are you crying?”

You looked away and quickly wiped it away. “I-It’s just dust,” you mumbled.

He hummed. “I’m really surprised you asked me about Taeyong. He’s a really sweet guy and you two will make a great couple.”

You doubted that but regardless hoped that he was right. “He’s temporary here, isn’t he? What does he really do then?”

Johnny smirked and replied, “That’s for you to find out tonight.”

You blinked confusedly. “Huh?”

Chuckling, he added, “Taeyong wanted to show something to you tonight. That’s why I called you over right now. Sorry that it’s cutting into your night,” he grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck.

Whatever Taeyong wanted to show me better be worth it, you thought. “Where is he anyway?”

He turned around to look for him. “He’ll be out soon. Just taking his time to pack it up with the crew.” Johnny turned to you and said, “I rushed out knowing you’d be waiting. Can’t have you bored, you know,” he flashed a huge smile.

Johnny, cut it out. Don’t do that!

There went your prohibited heart flying for him.

Soon enough, the staff walked out the doors and bid Johnny well for the night. Everyone had left out the exit, except for a faded pink hair boy appearing beside your forbidden love. He was cute, his lips parted slightly as he stared at you with twinkling eyes.

“Yongs!” Johnny wrapped his arm around Taeyong. “Y/N, meet Taeyong whose been by my side for a decade and he’s a music producer. And Taeyong, this is the Y/N I was talking about. She’s my girlfriend’s sister.”

Taeyong’s shocked self recovered and a loving smile graced itself on his lips. “It’s really nice to meet you, Y/N,” he spoke with the same soft voice that had comforted you.

Out of courtesy, you mirrored it back. “Same here, Taeyong.” Your eyes shifted to the taller boy beside him.

Johnny lifted his arm off his friend and stepped away. “Oh right. I should leave you two alone now. Have fun and don’t forget to tell me first if anything good happens between you two. Night night~” He strode towards the exit, your eyes not once leaving his retreating figure even after he stepped out the exit and disappeared into the darkness of the night.

“Y/N?”

Taeyong’s voice pulled you back. “Yeah?”

He bounced on his heels out of nervousness before he began his speed rambling. “Are you hungry? I mean are you okay with the night? You’re not sleepy are you? I just wanted to show you my work and thought we can have a fun night. We can definitely leave this for tomorrow during the day. I don’t want to force you to stay up.”

You gaped at him, trying your best to recall and reply to everything he practically rapped on. “Um, yeah I’m okay with the night. I’m not sleepy yet so I’m down to do anything fun.” And hopefully get my mind and heart off of Johnny. “I guess it’ll be a good idea to fuel ourselves up before heading over to your workplace.”

He let out a huge breath in relief. “Thank goodness. I’m a night owl so I work best at night and I’d love to have you see me in my producing mode.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Really? You wanted to show me your work without having seen me before?”

He scratched his head and added, “Johnny actually showed me a picture of you. A selfie of you, him and your sister.”

Johnny kept a picture of you on his phone…

This was not the information your poor heart needed, especially with a boy in front of you that you hoped he had a chance to win your heart.

Taeyong led you to his car in the lot and opened the passenger door for you. You thanked him, and sat down, observing the interior. There were candy wrappers littered everywhere as well as unopened bags of chips. Once he was settled into his seat, he noticed your eyes skimming around and sent you an apologetic look. “Ah, sorry. My car is a mess. I promise I’m not like this at all at home. I’m very clean.”

You hummed. “Don’t worry. I understand. I can be like this too with my workbag. So where are we going for food?”

“I was thinking about this waffle house if you like that…”

Nodding, you said, “Sounds great.”

The restaurant was nearly empty, except for another couple on the premise. After placing your order, you chatted about your lifestyle.

“I never really knew what to do with my life so I’m just working to get through it. Good enough pay to afford an apartment for myself so it’s not bad. How about you? Johnny mentioned that you make music.”

Taeyong sipped on the water. “Mm, yeah I do. I have a friend who I share the studio with. He works there before I go in so our timings don’t clash. It’s really fun there. I’m hoping I can be casted by a big company in the future. Till then, I’ll just keep working my butt off.”

“You sound really passionate. It’s really nice seeing someone like that.” It made you think back to Johnny and his love for broadcasting, hoping for his program to reach audience of all ages and give them a pleasant end to their long days. It really was so nice to listen to his calming voice after a long day at your work. Especially that it got your heart beating faster.

Your foods arrived with Taeyong opting for mint choco ice cream on top of his waffle. Both of you consumed your late-night meals in silence. When the bill arrived, you fought hard to pay your portion, but Taeyong said it was very ungentlemanly to let you. He was way too sweet for you.

“Taeyong, I understand, but we just met. I don’t want to feel like I owe you anything when we’re not even dating yet.”

He looked like he was conflicted, whether to let you pay or not, and gave up at the end when seeing your stern face. He pouted and replied, “Okay. But if I ever gift you anything, then you have to accept it, deal?”

Dumbfounded, you merely nodded.

The studio was a lot smaller than you imagined, considering that he was a freelancer. If you were told to stay in there and let your creativity flow, you’d struggle.

“Wow Taeyong. Don’t you get anxious working in this small room?”

He shrugged. “Not really. I actually get ideas when I’m in here. So imagine me having my hideout in here looking like a raccoon with dark circles,” he answered with a wink.

You giggled. “So what do you want to show me?”

“Come,” he took your hand and pulled you towards the desk, making you sit down in the cushioned office chair.

“Wait, shouldn’t you sit here? What about you?”

He pulled out a folding chair from a corner and set it up beside you. “I’ll sit here.”

On the computer, he logged into his account and played some of his favourite pieces he had composed.

“Wow, you made all these?” you asked with wide eyes.

Taeyong nodded with a ‘yup’ and clicked on a file saved as ‘city park.’ The whistling tunes incorporated brought a huge smile on you.

“I really like this one,” you spoke quietly, too immersed into the music that you didn’t notice his heart eyes softly grazing over your delicate features.

- ❀ -

From then on, you frequently met up with the music producer, whether if it was Taeyong wanting to show you his latest work or him creating something. You’d watch him during his creative process, trying out some keys and jotting down notes. He even let you play around and saved it as a recording under your name, telling you that it could serve him as an inspiration for his future works.

Taeyong didn’t only have a sweet personality, he was greatly addicted to sweets as well, taking you to a candy store and dragging you everywhere with giddy feet. His basket would be filled with some teddy bear jellies and sour candies, but mostly chocolates.

You would be crazy if you rejected the adorable boy when Taeyong asked you to be his girlfriend. You really loved Taeyong. You loved his cute childlike self yet a devoted hard worker at the right times. When the news was delivered to Yeri and Johnny, they were very happy. Yeri couldn’t understand why you never gave any guy a chance, and so to hear her big sister finally get into a relationship was a relief. Johnny on the other hand was pleased for his pal to have given it a go when Taeyong was always busy sticking his head into the computer.

But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t stop the tug at your heartstrings when you’d think about Yeri and Johnny.

One evening, you invited Taeyong over to your home before he’d leave for work. He surprised you by bringing a huge earl grey cake.

“I thought it’ll be fun to eat this while watching,” he said with bubbling joy.

You chuckled at his idea. If that was what he wanted, then you weren’t stopping him. “Okay, but that’s a lot of sugar. I’ll bring some chips. Go ahead and decide on a movie.”

He beamed. “Okay!”

When you walked into the living room with a huge bowl of jalapeno chips and forks for the cake, Taeyong was surfing through the movies available online.

“What about this one?” His cursor rested on top of a rom com pick. The summary beneath it indicated that the plot was about a man who listened to the radio and fell in love with the female DJ’s voice.

It sounded just like how you fell for-

“No!” you answered, more like shouted before realizing it. Taeyong jumped, clutching his heart from your sudden outburst. You sheepishly apologized, “Sorry, I… um I’m not feeling that one. How about something else?”

Taeyong blinked at you, confused that you had to react that loudly when it could have been a simple soft no. “Yeah, uh what about this one?” He shifted the cursor to the one beside it and you agreed.

Your heart was beating erratically from his previous selection. The movie was for sure to have a happy ending between the man and woman, but you knew there wasn’t going to be a happy ending with yours.

Taeyong picked up the fork and dove into the cake while his eyes were glued onto the credits rolling, mouthing the names of the music producers involved. You smiled at him, hoping that there would at least be a happy ending with Taeyong.

- ❀ -

The day arrived.

The most agonizing day of your life.

The time came for you to let go of your DJ love. If there was anyone that you would see yourself with in the future, it was the boy you had your arm linked with.

Yeri had a lot of friends and you willingly let one of them take your spot in being the maid of honour to direct the bridesmaids. After all, your mind was preoccupied the majority of the time, thinking about her soon-to-be husband. It would be easier for you to sit amongst the crowd and stop yourself from doing anything that you’d regret later than having to stand at the front, the easiest place to bring attention on yourself.

“It’s your sister’s wedding. Shouldn’t you be happy?” Taeyong asked.

You sighed. “I just can’t believe it’s happening already. But I really am happy for her.” At least she could have her happy ending.

Taeyong unlinked your hand from his arm and cupped your cheeks. “She’ll always be your little sister, no matter how fast she beat you to have a wedding first. We’ll have ours soon,” he said with a wink.

You forced a smile for him. Marrying Taeyong was something you were looking forward to. Your relationship with him had bloomed so prettily that it was the perfect way to distract yourself from the heartache. “Can’t wait for that,” you muttered honestly.

He leaned in and pecked your cheek. “Come on. Let’s take a seat near the front.”

The wedding commenced with the priest reciting the words for the bride and groom to exchange the vows. You watched your sister shyly smile in her white dress while your ex-love stood tall and charming in his dark tuxedo, hair styled to the side. His skin glowed, radiating the pure joy and pleasure of standing in front of his love.

You took a hold of Taeyong’s hand, clasping both your hands around his. He thought you wanted to feel his warmth and gave it a gentle squeeze, not knowing that your real reason was something else.

The time arrived for the priest to speak to the crowd of witnesses. “Should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

You gripped onto Taeyong’s hand, willing yourself to stay put and go for the latter. No one uttered a word during the brief silence, making the priest continue with the ceremony.

“I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”

Johnny stepped closer to Yeri, both of them beaming hard as they gazed into each other’s love-filled eyes. He took hold of her face and pressed his lips to hers.

You closed your eyes right before their lips locked, not wanting to break your heart even more when you had already promised yourself that it was over. Your love for JohnD was pushed into the past.

You were forever holding your peace.

- ❀ -

Something felt different ever since their marriage. You struggled to focus on your present moments with Taeyong as your mind dwelled onto your past love for JohnD.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Taeyong waved his hand in front of you.

You jumped slightly in your seat and looked at his eyes filled with concern. “Oh sorry. What?”

He sighed and decided to turn off his equipment. “Let’s get some food. There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

You panicked. Was he breaking up with you? “Is it something bad?”

A small smile tugged at his lips. “It’s something really good.” But the smile fell right away when he added quietly, “Depending on how you take it.”

The two of you went back to the same waffle house on the first night you met each other. Taeyong refused to tell you the good news the entire time there, reasoning that he wanted you to eat well as you seemed tired in his eyes. He promised to tell you after you’d gain some energy.

It was nearly 2am and no one else was at the restaurant except for the few staff. But he wanted to make sure he shared his joy with you someplace secluded. The park was the safest spot and you found a bench by a well lit streetlamp.

“Will you please tell me now? You’ve been growing the suspense since we left the studio.”

He gulped nervously, his leg bouncing from jittery. He cut to the chase, getting straight to the point. “I got casted.”

You blinked. “Casted? Oh my goodness... Like company casted? Taeyong! That’s such amazing news! You should have told me earlier!” You hopped off the bench and bounced on your feet, clapping happily and cheering for his dream. “Now you’re gonna become this big music producer that everyone will go crazy for!” When a sad smile forced on his face, you stopped moving. “This is what you wanted, didn’t you? Why do you look so sad?”

“Because I’ll have to move away.”

Move? “Where?”

He chewed on his lip before answering, “To another country.”

Your blood ran cold.

“Y/N, I know this isn’t going to be easy for you but hear me out. I’ll be earning a lot that we’ll be living comfortably. You don’t have to worry about having a job unless you want to, so you don’t need to worry about finances. It’s just… you’ll have to leave everything and everyone to come with me.” He took a deep breath. “You’ll come with me, right?” he asked with desperate eyes.

You couldn’t believe what he was saying. You’d be by his side and whole heartedly support his passion for music. But if that involved having to move away from your home, your lifestyle, your family, friends…

Johnny…

Then you were going to have to draw the line.

“Taeyong… I… I can’t,” you choked out.

He looked as if he didn’t understand you, more like he didn’t want to. “Huh?” This was the very thing he feared.

You shook your head. “I’ll support you with your career no matter what. But I can’t leave home.”

Taeyong rose up to his feet and grabbed your hands. “Please don’t say no. Think about it. I-I have to leave in a few days but I don’t want to leave you. I really love you, Y/N! Wanna know what I was thinking if you can’t come with me?”

All the blood drained from your face. “Don’t even think about rejecting them. I’ll never live it down. You have to go.”

He feverishly shook his head, his eyes glistening. “I don’t want to leave you. I’d rather stay here and wait for another opportunity around here.”

You gaped in disbelief. “You’re not going to have another chance at going big if you ditch this abroad opportunity. This sounds like something big with the way you’re saying that you’ll be earning a lot. Please Taeyong, please go.”

He fell onto his knees, still holding onto your hands for dear life. His head hung low as his shoulders shook. Your heart broke at the sight of him crying. “Why does this feel like some sort of test, whether I choose career or love?”

Crouching down, you weaved your arms around his form and brought his head to your shoulder, patting his head gently to calm him down. “I know you love me but love can wait. Your career can’t. It’s not like we’ll never see each other again and I’m sure we’ll see each other again. So… if I can suggest you something, sacrifice love, Taeyong.” What sort of ill-fated joke was this? You already had to give up your love for Johnny, and now Taeyong had to do it for you. “I’m really really sorry,” you whispered out and not too long after, your body trembled as you sobbed over his shoulder.

You were sorry that you didn’t love Taeyong enough to leave everything behind.

He pulled back and frowned deeply with tear-stained cheeks. “Don’t say sorry. I should be the one saying that. This was supposed to be good news but I made you cry.” He wiped away your tears and stroked your head to quieten your cries. “If you change your mind, even the second before I leave, I’ll happily take you with me.”

- ❀ -

“That clearly says it all of your feelings for Taeyong.”

You sighed, already knowing that but still let her continue.

“You didn’t love him enough. Like true love type.” Yeri plopped down on the couch beside you. “If you really loved him, you would have been ready to start a new life with him, no matter where it’d be in the world.” She puffed out, sad that she wouldn’t be able to see you get married to Taeyong. “I really thought he was the one for you.”

There was no doubt that Taeyong would have been the one for you if you hadn’t fallen for Johnny. Why were you still being hopelessly lovesick? The chapter was supposed to be over a long time ago since the first time you met him. You felt bad for Taeyong, leading him on in a way. Your heart was never wholly available yet he never failed to surprise you with his sweet love.

Taeyong leaving was lowkey the best for both of you.

The front door opened and Johnny walked in. Aka Yeri’s husband. Aka the one you needed to stop pining over. “I brought some wine to help with my beautiful sister-in-law’s heartbreak,” he chirped.

There went your heart again, going bonkers over the fact that he called you beautiful... but also sister-in-law.

- ❀ -

Taeyong had a tight grip on his luggage, making his knuckles go white.

“Taeyong?” you called, hoping he’d give you a response.

“So… this is it? This is the end of us?” He avoided your eyes, opting to stare at the tiles beneath his feet.

You sniffed, hating that you’d have to say goodbye to him. No more late night fun. “Yeah, I guess this is it.”

“I want to give you something.” He shrugged off his backpack and pulled out an unopened box of beats headphones, handing it to you.

Stunned, all you breathed out was, “Why?”

“I wanted to gift you something, sort of like thank you for being my first girlfriend.”

Your jaw fell. “I was your first?”

He smiled and it didn’t look forced. “Yeah, and I want you to listen to my music with them. You’ll hear the quality is crystal clear and not miss a single beat with them.”

Your vision blurred at the thought of the pink haired having his first heartbreak by you. “Taeyong, I’m so sorry. It all started with me wanting to meet you in the first place and now I don’t come-”

He hushed you, cupping your face. “Ay, don’t be like that. I’m really glad you did. If you didn’t, then I wouldn’t have fallen in love and get my first heartbreak. And you know what they say about heartbreak songs topping charts,” he joked which successfully got a quiet giggle out of you.

“Yeah, use me as your muse for your music.”

The announcement came on, announcing the boarding for Taeyong’s flight. “It’s time for me to go.”

You hummed, your heart growing heavy suddenly. Before he turned away, he surprised you by enveloping you in his arms. You buried into his warmth for the last time and pulled back. “Go live your dream. And don’t lose your sweet self.”

Taeyong nodded and grabbed his luggage, wheeling it behind him as he waved at you with a tight smile. You waved back with what you hoped was a bright smile on your face to cheer him up. When Taeyong turned away, he quit holding back his tears and let it cascade over his cheeks.

Your eyes were glued to his retreating figure, hoping to catch one last glimpse of his face but didn’t as he passed by the gate for his flight. You stared at the box in hand and clutched it close to you, promising yourself that you’d support him with his music releases.

- ❀ -

“People always say that spring came. It’s exciting and heart fluttering. I think you’re someone like spring to me because after I met you, I felt like that every day.” Jaehyun said.

Followed by none other than Johnny’s “NCT’s Night Night~”

You sat at the same café you met him, drinking your cup of cappuccino while listening to a downloaded broadcast with your new gifted headphones. A bittersweet feeling overwhelmed you as you listened to Johnny’s voice throughout the episode. Even though you couldn’t be with Johnny, you’d still love and cherish all the memories you’d made with DJ Johnny.

And you wouldn’t have come to terms with that if it weren’t for a particular night that you had spent with Taeyong.

As you laid next to Taeyong under the starry night, you asked, “Taeyong, let’s talk hypothetically. What if you loved me but I didn’t love you back? What would you do?”

He hummed for a bit, thinking of a perfect response. “Love isn’t about having it reciprocated.” He turned to you and lovingly smiled, eyes crinkling with adoration for you under the moonlight. “Love is to shine more beautifully.”

The end.

#cznnet #nct #nct 127 #johnny suh #youngho seo #lee taeyong #johnny x reader #taeyong x reader #nct fanfic #nct imagines #nct scenarios #charm

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aerialflight · 4 years ago

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Fic Recs (cause it's always nice to give a shout out and get people into things I'm into rn)

[The Magnus Archives] (I recently finished the podcast and I fell into a hole for a while so here you go)

Sing a Song of Sixpence by Kaiel

Ship: Jon/Martin

In which Jonathan Sims is a Siren, and he fails to notice any new abilities granted to him by the position of Archivist. Or really anything about the Entities at all.

Takes place in season 1 featuring Jonah Magnus’s slow decent into madness

(The new mythology interwoven with tma's worldbuilding is so freaking good and I love how all the characters change and develop because of these changes. Also, f you Elias)

Along Came a Spider by Dribbledscribbles

Ship: implied Jon/Martin

Sasha James is the Archivist, as expected. Martin Blackwood is menaced by Jane Prentiss, as expected. Elias Bouchard weaves his web, as expected.

All goes as it should.

At least until something calling itself Jonathan Sims steps in.

(Web!Jon in this makes me want to weep, it's so freaking good. A pretty long, very excellent oneshot on what could've happened if Jon got taken by the web when he was a kid. And Sasha as the Archivist is ALWAYS so cool, we love her in this house.)

A Break in the Clouds by Ash_Rabbit

“I’m eight.” the kid sniffs as if eight was any different from four, maybe not an unspeakable horror then, just a regular horror. “And I heard that the Magnus Institute deals with-” his little nose scrunches, cute. “-spooky things.”

“Do you have a-” he cracks a grin, and then rethinks it as small hands tighten against their burden.”-spooky thing to deliver?” gods he hopes not, it’s bad enough when adults walk in and lay out all of their baggage, but for a child-

“There’s a spider in this book.” the kid says solemnly, raising his textbook sized parcel. “It ate Evan Pritchard.” a bloody fucking Leitner. Of course an eight year old would find a murder spider book. “This seemed like the best place to bring it.”

(I never thought about what the Original Elias could've been like AND NOW I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE OF THIS FIC. I LOVE HIM, HE'S COMPLEX AND HE CARES AND JON CARES AND THEY BOTH CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER. THIS IS THE CONTENT I WANT, OMG. Also, Jon being even smaller than usual is adorable, so cute. No wonder Elias wants to hug him, a LOT.)

See the Line where the Sky meets the Sea by The_Floating_World

Ship: Jon/Martin, Jon/Oliver Banks

When Jon is a child he looks into the infinite abyss of space. The Vast looks back into him.

(One of my all time fave fics in this fandom, no questions asked. I have reread this three times and am open to doing it again, god. Vast!Jon, such a concept. It's written so beautifully and the relationships Jon develops, so good. ugh. My heart. Please please read.)

Sweet As Roses by Prim_the_Amazing

Ship: Jon/Martin

“Come in, Martin,” he says, not looking up from his notes.

“Hi, Jon,” he says, and Jon stops writing at the sound of his voice. “We’re out of the green tea, but we’ve got lemon?”

Jon looks at him. Martin smiles at him in his usual tentative way as he sets the mug of tea down on Jon’s desk. Heat spikes so sharply in his gut that he twitches with it.

“Thank you, Martin,” he says, mouth dry, and he stands up.

“Oh,” he says, sounding almost surprised. He smiles again. “No-- no problem-- um, what are you--”

Jon takes Martin by the shoulders, leans up on the tips of his toes, and kisses him.

(You have no idea how much I howled through this fic, my god. *buries face in hands* The number of times I wanted to cry from sheer hilarity and horror reading this good lord.)

Things Could Always Be Worse by theOestofOCs

Ship: Jon/Martin, Georgie/Melanie

Sometimes, the most horrifying thing of all is what might have been.

Somewhere, Jon could swear he heard a crowd laughing.

Or: in which Jonathan Sims is forced to swap places with his alternate self—a tall, chivalrous hero extraordinaire, who knows neither fear nor nuance—and is sent to the aggressively straight alternate universe the Magnus Archives was never meant to be.

“Whatever place this is,” Jon announced, “I just want to be sure it knows I hate it.”

(I will say this once, THIS IS THE MOST CURSED THING IVE EVER READ EVER. Like holy hell. I can't believe this thing exists. please read it oh please please please)

[Supernatural]

heard from your mother (she don't recognize you) by Schmuzz

Ship: Dean/Cas, Jessica/Sam

A man named Cas wakes up in 2003 with no memories, but he's able to piece together a few things:

1. Supernatural creatures exist, and most of them will hurt innocent civilians if he doesn't stop them; 2. He has abilities that no human hunter should have, but he knows enough about human hunters to keep that to himself, and finally; 3. He keeps running into another hunter named Dean Winchester, who seems to be about as lonely as he is if he's willing to put up with those former facts long enough to help Cas unravel the mystery of who (or what) he really is.

For his part, Dean's still (not) dealing with Sam's departure to Stanford, and figures distracting himself with a bit of mystery and intrigue is as harmless as it gets, right? Right.

(THE fic I'm most into right now, been following this from the very start and it's AMAZING. Cas has agency and is making friends and S1 Dean is growing out of John's influence and is becoming a Person and the both of them first being friends then more. The slow burn as their relationship develops, SO GOOD. SO SO DAMN GOOD. *screams* Seriously one of the best spn fics I've read in a long, long time.)

anamnesis by cenotaphy

Ships: Castiel/Dean, Sam/Eileen

Chuck is depowered, Jack is the new god, and the world is free. Dean and Sam get into the Impala and chase down the miles on an endless highway, and their story is finally, finally their own to follow. At least, that's what Dean tells himself. But the diners and motels and painted interstate lines are blurring together and the smallest details keep catching at his brain like tiny fishhooks and he can't quite shake the feeling that not everything is exactly as it should be.

* Fix-it/alternate series finale. Canon-compliant through the end of 15.19.

(THIS IS THE FIC THAT GOT ME THROUGH THE FINALE OKAY. WHY COULDN'T THIS HAVE BEEN CANON. It's Disturbing and honestly plot-wise this makes more sense. Why couldn't we have had this. *screams*)

[Avatar: The Last Airbender]

where the stars do not take sides by WitchofEndor

Ship: Sokka/Zuko

When Azula is nine, she becomes an only child. She hears the Fire Lord call for Zuko's life, and in the morning, her mother and brother are gone. Azula may be young, but she isn't naive. She knows what happened to them.

Which makes it all the more surprising when Azula tracks the Avatar down and fights his group of peasant friends, only to find herself staring into an eerily familiar face.

(The fact one of the tags in this fic is, "Sibling Dynamic: Fucked Up But Wholesome" should give you an idea what this fic is like. Chaotic as HELL and I just love Azula here, she loves Zuko so much in her messed up way and Zuko loves her back in the exact same way lol. It's batshit and I am Here For This.)

[Naruto]

Eclipse by AislingRoisin (JayBird345) for HybrisAnaideia

Ship: Nara Shikaku/OFC

"In life, it's easier to remain stagnant and wallow in your troubles. But life isn't merely about continued existence, nor is it meant to be gone through alone."

(This is a fic that's slept on and I NEED people to read this. A self-insert fic that I find really interesting in its approach and the worldbuilding for the post-third war shinobi world is fantastic. I feel like there's a certain pattern with self-insert fics, not that is a detriment in any way to how much I enjoy them, so this fic feels fresh to me in a way I haven't read in a while. I am waiting eagerly for this to get updated! Please read!)

On Freedom and Other Formalities by iaso

Ship: Kakashi/Genma/OFC

When push comes to shove, Hiwa Inuzuka doesn't go down easy. Reborn into a new, dangerous world? She puts her past life as a spy to work. Thrown into a war? Hiwa does her duty, for Konoha. And when she's forced into an arranged marriage? All there is to do is beat them to the punch and get married first. Thankfully, Genma Shiranui is willing to lend a hand. Literally. SI/OC

(Listen, LISTEN, it's about the slow burn, the longing, the communication (it both has and hasn't and isn't THAT great??), the messy way you fit three very different people together, it's so freaking good! Also, Kakashi is so Chaotic here this is my fave characterization of him, you can't change my mind. And Genma is a Good Boi who is Doing His Best, along with the Self-insert character who I LOVE SO MUCH, SHE'S FANTASTIC FNEIWOPAF. Sped past this fic in the speed of light, I could not stop reading!)(Honestly, read all of the author's fics, they're all really REALLY good!)

Building a Castle by WhisperingDarkness

Without needing anyone to tell her, Sakura knew that talking to someone no-one else could see or hear would make her weird. It would draw the bad kind of attention to her, something people could make fun of her for.

She didn’t like being weird, but she did like the voice. Her inner voice was helpful and it was a part of her that had always been there. The idea of it not being there would have been so much weirder than anything else.

It was during her first year at the Academy that Sakura realised the voice was not in her head at all, but that it came from a cloudy shape floating next to her.

(Basically a short-ish retelling of Hikaru no Go. Only with more Shogi and Nara and Ninja's)

(Sakura can see ghosts (I'm noticing this is a popular trope for her) and it's really cute haha! Her relationship with Tobirama is sweet and I just enjoyed reading this so much.)

[The Magicians]

So Long (And Thanks For All The Books) by IncompleteSentanc (Erava)

Ships: Quentin/Eliot, James/Julia, Quentin/Margo/Eliot

When Quentin is told Julia wasn't admitted to Brakebills, he realizes he has a drastic decision in front of him. If he tells Julia about magic, he'll have his mind wiped as well as hers. But he can't just leave her behind, either. He can't lose his best friend, and he can't let her life a life with her magical potential stolen away from her.

So he makes a third choice.

(Really, and I mean REALLY well-done canon divergent fic, this is the Quentin & Julia friendship fic I have been looking for forever. It explores so much of what could've happened and I just love Quentin here, I really really do. Characterization done so right. I also recommend the author's other works too. Been a follower of them for a long time, they're great.)

[Game of Thrones]

The Road to Victory by writing_as_tracey

Too late in preparing for the Night King and the Long Night, the last stand at Winterfell is close to falling. Bran takes desperate measures to ensure victory, and Jon, Sansa, and Arya pay the price for it in a time unfamiliar to them, on the cusp of another war. [GoT, time-travel fix it]

(I swear, this fic made me laugh so many times, all the Stark are BAMF and fantastic, and Rhaegar gets Wrecked lol. It's crack btw, and the plot goes in directions you'll never guess and it's amazing hahaha!)

[Haikyuu!!] (I am very very late to the fandom but here I am)

Ballare (To Dance) by MidnightSparks

Ship: Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, and platonic Kageyama & Kentarou (really love their friendship)

Kageyama’s first love is volleyball. His second, however, is ballet.

In one world, Kageyama Tobio is left behind by his parents. In this world, the existence of soulbonds keeps Kageyama’s parents in Miyagi and leaves Kageyama in the care of his grandma and grandpa.

(In which soulmates exist and that changes everything and nothing at the same time.)

(*buries face in hands* I have fallen for this ship so hard and I can't get out fudge me. I understand now. Their DYNAMICS FIEWONPAF)

Kings of Tomorrow by bokubroya (liarielle)

Ship: Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru

On the eve of Tobio’s 16th birthday, he counts down the seconds to midnight, and emerges with Oikawa Tooru’s name on his wrist.

It’s been two years since then, and Tobio thought they had an understanding. A silent, never spoken about understanding that this thing between them is nothing, and they’re going to pretend it doesn’t exist.

Of course, it’s just like Oikawa to change the game and leave Tobio wondering what comes next.

(I am WEAK for soulmate fics between these two, I don't even really like soulmate fics half the times what is WRONG WITH ME-)(Please suffer with me, I'm begging you. Its a good fic, thumbs up.)

[Crossover]

Honey and Magic by JustARatherVerySillyWriter, White_Squirrel for Super Carlin Brothers

Fandoms: Matilda (yeah you read that right), Harry Potter

Everyone knew Matilda was a rather extraordinary child, but even she didn't know she was a witch. Matilda Honey receives her Hogwarts letter in the year of the Triwizard Tournament, and soon, she will leave her unique mark on the magical world.

(Do I even need to explain how amazing it is to have Matilda in the wizarding world? And Matilda is a HUFFLEPUFF AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL THIS FIC IS GREAT PLEASE READ!!!)

An Eye for an Eye by DpsMercy

Fandoms: The Magnus Archives, Welcome to Night Vale

In which Jonathan Sims is not from the UK but instead, if you took his origins and turned them sideways twice then flipped them over, he technically would be from the US, the town of Night Vale specifically. Elias can’t do shit about it and gets a headache and slowly creeping madness instead.

(Look, I know probably everyone has read this because if they haven't, what have you been DOING with your lives??? Jon interning at Night Vale is Incredible, nothing phases this man, it's Delightful. I laughed so many times reading this, I'm not even kidding right now. Read or perish.)

The Favour by R_Cookie

Fandoms: Harry Potter, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Ship: Original Percival Graves/Harry Potter

Percival is ten years old when his grandfather tries to tell him that he's ensured the greatness of the Graves legacy for him, that he ought to be eternally grateful - but the explanation is hijacked by a stranger who manages to intimidate Chester Graves with an ease never seen before.

or: Hadrian (Harry) Potter is the Master of Death, who grants Graves a boon. Nobody could have known that the Deathly Hallows didn't turn you so much into the 'Master of Death' as into the anthropomorphic personification of Death. And so, Death becomes Percival's guardian angel, and Percival does not spit out his cereal.

(Look, I don't know how I stumbled back into the FBAWTFT fandom either, it just happened and I'm grateful for that. Otherwise, I wouldn't have found this amazing fic. Their relationship is slow and strange and I just love how Percival is characterized here. Also, one of the tag promises that it deviates from canon so I am really, really excited for that! XD)

baby that's what i do by natanije

Fandoms: Naruto, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!

"Are you telling me," Hidan exclaims, incredulous, "that you collect money all this time to give to orphans?!"

Kakuzu pauses. He blinks a few times.

"Huh. I guess I do."

(Tsuna reincarnates as Kakuzu and it's HILARIOUS. HE'S SUCH A MOM HAHAHA)

#Fanfiction #AO3 #Fic Rec #Fic Rec List #Podcasts #The Magnus Archives #Supernatural #Avatar The Last Airbender #Naruto #The Magicians #Game of Thrones #Haikyuu!!#Crossover #Matilda #Welcome to Night Vale #Harry Potter #Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them #Katekyou Hitman Reborn

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 4 years ago

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A chatty writing update | novels, short fiction, etc!

Hi folks!

It’s been a while since I last wrote an update on this blog! I thought it’d be fun to go back to basics, and just talk about writing. This post chats about: new plans for Feeding Habits, my newest novel, my short story goals & growing collection, along with process reflections.

(image description: a photo of green leaves with the text “writing update” in a white font written on top. /end image description)

Post starts under the cut!

General taglist (please ask to be added or removed)

@if-one-of-us-falls, @qatarcookie, @chloeswords, @alicewestwater, @laughtracksonata, @shylawrites, @ev–writes, @jaydewritesfiction, @jennawritesstories @eowynandfaramir, @august-iswriting, @aetherwrites, @avakrahn, @maisulli

What have I been up to?

For starters, I finished my second year of my Writing undergrad last week and got two of my final grades back today (A+ baby)! For anyone who has taken online university, y’all already KNOW, but this year was so difficult. Would not recommend! Really proud of myself to have gotten through this absolute rollercoaster of a school term and am excited to get into some writing. That leads us to:

What have I been up to (writing edition)?

2021 started off so fast. By the time January hit, I was so consumed in my new semester that I did not have time to write Feeding Habits (my novel). In the first few days of the term, I managed to write between class, until I could no longer keep up! Essentially, I did not write any of that novel until exam season (last week), where I did manage to get in about 3k words in ~4 days.

Feeding Habits

I’m currently drafting what I believe will be the last chapter of this book (chapter 10: Swan Song). This chapter is so bizarre for a few reasons. It begins the book’s third part and also marks the shift back into Lonan’s head from Harrison’s. I originally thought this part would be much, much longer, with at least another five chapters to go, but quickly realized the book’s content was nearly completed. In my 4 day 3k palooza, I hit 50k in the book (the word count goal), and couldn’t see myself extending past 60k. Since then, I’ve made the loose decision to write this final chapter as a ~novella. Here are a few reasons why:

1. This chapter is structurally very strange.

I unashamedly shift from present to past to present to past past, and so much more every 12 words. I mapped out the timeline on a sheet of paper, and there were over 20 shifts in scenes (the chapter is only about 4400 words at the moment). The fictive past is incredibly important to this chapter, more important than the present, and I thought it would make more sense to not break randomly for a chapter so I could upkeep the consistent inconsistency of the chapter.

2. The chapter is very abstract

This stems from the structural changes, but there are paragraphs in this chapter of the fictive present that are loosely based in reality. They’re more poems than they are factual paragraphs, and keeping them all contained in one place (so a mega chapter/ novella) would reduce the most confusion!

3. There’s not much left to cover

Like I said above, Feeding Habits is on its last leg, lol! I know exactly where the book needs to end up, which is very, very soon from where I’m currently at on the timeline. Swan Song should cover what 2-4 chapters would cover in terms of arcs.

Feeding Habits and I have a really weird relationship, tbh! When I realized a few weeks ago that it’d been over a year since I started the book, I realized I just needed to finish it. Not that I want to rush (because I’ve taken longer than a year to write a book in the past), but that in order to move onto another project, I’d like to put this one behind first. This book has been the hardest thing I’ve ever written, and has reminded me there’s always a time to let go. This sort of scrounges up a conversation about letting this entire series go, which is certainly something I’ve been contemplating doing soon(ish). If this spinoff series gets a third book, that may or may not be the last Fostered book for a very long time (or ever)! There are many complex reasons to move on, but the main one is that I have other projects I’d like to focus on. This is not a definitive decision, but something I’ve certainly been thinking about!

Here are a few excerpts I wrote recently:

(TW: death, gore)

Dying feels like being a trout dangled out of water. Clinging to a hook. Mouth open. Scales iridescent in a final death cry. It’s like blood spurting up the knuckles, drowning out the flesh. It’s that moment on the long fall down when the clouds cup the body. Easy drifting. The sound a skull makes when it cracks is really just the afterthought.

(TW: death, gore)

Kill shot. Death blow. Coup de grace. Right in the heart. He feels it. The blood swelling, slicking his palms. He can do it. Reach into the cavity. Feel for the ribs. Part each bone. Then cup the humming heart. Stay there. Right. It’s never been easier.

Look at this PURE moment of Lonan holding a baby I CANNOT:

The grocery store was a fifteen-minute walk away. With Olivia clinging to his shoulder, Lonan was acutely aware that she could feel his heartbeat. Open valve. Close. Repeat. Hers pulsed right above his, a miniature drumming. The sky had bruised purple, misted with clouds. The evening air nipped his cheeks, so he made sure Olivia was securely fastened between him and his jacket. With wide eyes, she absorbed the drowsy suburbia, all its family cars pulling into driveways, all its couples heading back home after a sunset walk. When Lonan passed a young boy walking two golden retrievers, Olivia giggled, and didn’t stop, even after he’d spent fifty dollars on groceries and nearly the rest on a red Corolla marked with a MUST GO NOW sign outside a convenience store.

Let’s move on!

Mandy and Cora

I said I wouldn’t talk too much about this project, but I just love it so much?? I wanted to share my SUPER early thoughts on drafting a novel, especially one that is SO different from what I’ve been writing recently. I talked about this before in THIS post, but the summary about this project is that it’s a YA contemporary novel! Can’t believe I’m writing YA again, it’s been so long, but I also think it’s going so well. Everything I’ve learned as a literary fiction writer has been a fantastic primer for transferring back to the genre. Admittedly, I have not written much, but I’m having a lot of fun diving back into a lighter project. This is the summary:

Cora and Mandy are identical twins who’ve always done everything together. But when Mandy decides to go to university out of province after graduation and Cora doesn’t, Cora takes this as an opportunity to “test run” life apart from her sister for the first time by spending the summer at her aunt’s house across the country.

I have come up with a few ~things since I last talked about this project, mostly how I’d like to structure it. As of now, I’d like the book to be structured super loosely. I’m really pulling on a lot of inspo from “We Are Okay” by Nina LaCour (which is SO good), particularly how “nothing happens-y” that book is. This project (which I still need a title for!!) will be structured in short chapters that cover something Cora does on her own for the first time (without Mandy). For example, a few ideas are “Flight”, “Lunch”, and “Groceries”. “Flight” is the first “chapter” (they’re really kind of vignettes) where Cora flies to her aunt’s house. I still can’t determine if this book will take place in Canada. On one hand, I feel like there will be a wider audience if it takes place in the US (is that just an assumption??? maybe?? someone let me know!), but also: don’t really care too much about an audience at the moment! It could also take place in Canada (So Ontario and British Columbia). But if it does take place in the US, I think it may take place in NYC and San Francisco. The problem is: I really don’t like researching lol, and while I’ve been to NYC many times, I will definitely write it wrong! Does this really matter on a first draft?? absolutely not lol, but of course I am already overthinking!

But back to structure: I am looking forward to seeing what this looser structure will do. This is a story that is solely around one half of a set of twins learning to be her own person (and ultimately that she doesn’t have to completely forget her sister in order to do that), and as a twin who KNOWS this feeling, I think this structure of her doing things for the first time is SUPER relatable.

I was worried it might sound silly/worrying to others who are not twins that Cora hadn’t done things like “lunch” or “groceries” on her own, but I feel this so much as an identical twin myself! Not that she hasn’t done anything at all by herself, but as a twin, when you do something without your twin for the first few times, at least in my experience, you notice. If any twins are reading this--weigh in!

This story is the most personal thing I’ve ever written. It definitely is an OwnVoices book! Usually, I avoid details that are remotely similar to me because they make me uncomfortable haha, but with this book, it’s all me, lol! The characters are all Guyanese, which is SO fun because I’ve been planning what they eat (my fellow Caribbean peeps know: the FOOD!), which is so fun (yes they have pumpkin and shrimp, yes they have roti, yes they have pera, yes they have mithai). Every time I’ve gone to dabble at this book, or even think about it, I get incredibly emotional for this reason? I don’t exactly know why. I think this is a story I just so want to tell, with the culture I love SO much that I definitely struggled to love as a child. This is reclamation bitchessss!

Not going to lie tho: the prospect of writing ~a book~ is kind of freaky! I’m going to make the minimum word count for this book pretty short (50k) and see where it goes from there. I think I will focus on this project this summer! Originally I was going to write a literary novel this summer, but I think this one’s calling my name!

Here’s a pretty rough excerpt:

Try. I remind myself that’s what I’m doing after the flight attendant fills me a disposable cup of Coca Cola and all I can think of is Mandy and I shoving Mentos into a bottle of the stuff when we were twelve. Just me, wedged in the middle seat between an exchange student heading out for summer break and a middle-aged woman sipping a cocktail, thinking of Mandy and I bursting whole oranges in a blender when we were bored one Winter break as the plane dips through a wave of turbulence. Mandy and I dying our hair neon green with highlighters (didn’t work—our hair is too dark) as the plane lands on the tarmac. Mandy and I arguing so loud last month, we both lost our voices as I lug my carry-on out of the overhead compartment and shuffle off the plane and through the airport, searching for Aunt Vel.

Short Fiction

I’ve written so much short fiction this year! I have a goal to write a short story a month (they can range in length, as long as 1 is “complete”), so my short story brain has seriously been soaking it all up lately. Let’s chat my month to month breakdown so far:

January:

I wrote four stories in January! The first is a flash fiction piece called “Shark Swimming” that follows a young woman who attends a shark swimming class after breaking up with her girlfriend. I wrote this story for a “test” workshop for my fiction class, and it was based off the prompt “think about something you’re afraid to do and make the character do that thing”. I’m not particularly afraid of sharks, but had been wanting to use the title “Shark Swimming” for AGES (literally since 2018).

This story is one of my favourites. It’s only about 900 words, but I think there’s something profound in how mundanely specific it is. The entire story doesn’t even see the narrator swim with sharks once; it actually takes place fully in the sanctuary’s lobby. But I really love this narrator. This is the first story I’ve written in second person in a while, though I felt really connected to the unnamed narrator. She struggles with accepting that she truly is a “boring” person, and there’s something about the final image that really gets me!

I’ve been submitting this around, though it’s been rejected a handful of times. Hoping I can secure it at a magazine one day because I really love it!

The second story is “Joanne, I’ll Pray for You” which is actually a rewrite of one of my very first short stories (the first story I did not write for a class haha), “NYC in Your Apartment”. I LOVE this rewrite a lot, and also learned the original is not a very good short story! Revising this story taught me just how much I’ve learned in the 2 years I’ve been writing short fiction. Seeing the 2019 version versus the 2021 version side by side is fascinating because I essentially “gutted’ the 2019 version of its beginning and end until all that was left was the middle of the story (aka the actual story). AKA: this is the only story I’ve ever written with a hopeful ending and I cut out all the happy bits lol I am SO sorry (that arc is more for a novel or novella). That’s how this went from a 5k word story to an 1800 word story (my Submittable thanks me for this lol). A lot of details and scenes I included were more pertinent to a 3 act structure/novel, which of course short stories don’t often have because of their brevity. I love rambling about writing theory, and seeing that actually pay off is so fascinating!

(TW: trauma)

Like the original, this story follows Joanne, a woman in her early twenties, who spontaneously breaks up with her boyfriend. She claims the poltergeist haunting her drove her to this decision. The original draft focused a lot more on the traumatic events Joanne survives, but this draft really loosens them up. It focuses less so on the events themselves, and more on how Joanne’s life is affected. I found the details of these events were less important, and even sort of contradicted Joanne’s insistence she is being haunted. Instead, the poltergeist really takes more precedence in the new draft as a force Joanne doesn’t understand. That ambiguity, I think, is what the story truly needed.

I also centralized Joanne’s relationship with her boyfriend, Julian, here. Now don’t get me wrong, I really didn’t add anything to this draft. It was a matter of trimming the fat around it to leave the lean “meat” in the centre. But by removing that fat, I was able to emphasize what was most important here, and that was her relationship. Julian always played a really big role in the original draft, but I feel like his role as both a friend and partner to Joanne is much more emphasized since this draft literally is only two scenes now. Because there is less, there is more room for Joanne to reflect, which I’m happy about!

A final change I made was the setting and therefore the title. The original, which was “NYC in Your Apartment,” I couldn’t keep because I shifted the setting to Toronto (this is how I originally saw it, but in 2019 I just?? couldn’t?? write?? canlit??), and “Toronto in Your Apartment” sounded sort of gross LOL. The new title comes from a line in the story which I think is more relevant to the themes!

The next short story I wrote in January was “How to Spell Alpaca.” This one is super fun because I wrote it SO fast (in about 15 minutes or so). THIS is the writing update if you’re interested in learning more. I talked extensively about this one in that update, but some developments are that I dove into an edit a few weeks ago to really understand the core of the story. I’m still not quite there (this is just an intuitive feeling; I know not everything has “clicked), but I am really intrigued by the two mothers in the story, the narrator, and her newfound acquaintance, Violet. Both really struggle to understand their place as mothers (the narrator even declares she isn’t a mother anymore). The narrator, who is in her 50s, sees herself in Violet, who is much younger (~20s), and so she views Violet’s relationship with her daughter in a cautionary, yet mournful way, like she can see it will end up like her own relationship with her daughter, despite wanting the opposite. This is a really subtle story. I feel like if you blink, you’ll miss the message. But I think it’s compelling for that reason. It’s really a portrait of parenting and how to grapple with mistakes you may make that inevitably affect your children. Wow just unlocked the theme writing this lol.

The final story I wrote in January is “The Party,” which may be in my top 3 faves I’ve ever written. This story follows Aida, a recent divorcee in her ~40s. The day her divorce turns official, she moves into a new house and receives a party invitation addressed to the previous homeowner, yet RSVP’s anyway. At this party, she’s hoping to find some sense of noticeability, having struggled with being nondescript her whole life. Things seem quite normal at the party, until it gets bizarre.

I LOVE this story, y’all. Like “How to Spell Alpaca” it really delves into motherhood. Aida, our narrator, is incredibly hurt after her divorce. She now lives farther from her children she struggled to feel connected to in the first place, and doesn’t really know how to reignite her life. This party is a means to do that. This is the first story I’ve written that contains a “twist” which is strange because I really prefer stories that give us as much info as possible upfront, but yes, this one sort of twists.

February

I wrote one story in February, and that was “Protect the Young.” This title is SO changing when I think of a new one because it’s thematically incorrect, haha, but this story follows a woman in her late 40s whose daughter, Lindy, announces she is married the same day all their backyard chickens turn up dead. The discovery of dead chickens prompts our narrator to recall her ex-husband’s murder and the role her daughter may have played in his death.

I love this story so much! I think this would make a great closing for my short story collection. It just has that vibe! I wrote this for my second fiction workshop. I thought I had to hand in the story a week earlier than I had to, so I panicked and wrote this in one sitting! Little did I know, I did not need to do that lol but I’m very happy because this story is so fun. We get to learn more about Arnold (her ex), his relationship with Lindy, and how that translates to Lindy’s relationship with her new husband, Malcolm. I LOVE true crime (I listen to about 3-4 hours of case coverage daily), and this is my first “true crime” story. Because of that, I’m very sus of a few details that probably wouldn’t slide in actual investigatory work, so I’ll also be working on that in a revision. My professor also gave me a great suggestion that may alter the story’s structure a bit, though I look forward to toggling with it in the future.

March

In March, I was really on a Criminal Minds kick lol. I’ve been watching this show since I was seven (oops), and dove into a rewatch since it hit Disney+! This story, “Where to Run When the Lamb Roars,” is very clearly Rachel watching 5 episodes of CM a day. Oops! We follow 14-year-old Astrid as she and her older half brother kidnap a young girl to sacrifice for their yearly ritual.

I knew a few things going into this story, but the main thing was that I did NOT want to show any details of a potential murder (if one even occurs). I really wanted to keep all of those elements off the page because this story is not about those events, but about Astrid’s relationship with her brother. They are a murderous duo, with Astrid actually being the dominant partner. I wanted to explore that. I knew her brother, Fox, was more of a submissive partner in their team, even when he used to do this same thing with his father when he was much younger (chilling!), and so it was a task to explore how this young girl’s desire for violence works. The end actually comes right before the story starts, one could say, but I like it for this reason. It really made me contemplate the story by the time I finished it, and helped me examine what it really was about versus what it appeared to be about.

April

(TW: sexual content, non explicit)

I was so busy this month! Who knows if I’ll write a story last minute, but I did write one story this month called “Five Times Fast.” I wrote this during a “writing sprint” that was being hosted at a flash fiction workshop I recently took with one of my favourite writers ever, K-Ming Chang. I learned so much from this class, and am so happy I came out of it with a draft! This story is just over 300 words, so the shortest flash I’ve ever written, but I’m really happy with it. It was based off the prompt “describe the last time you or your character was naked.” In this case, the narrator has a “friends with benefits” relationship with Ricky who works at a laundromat. This story highlights a moment in this relationship (and also Ricky’s goofy personality lol). I really like it! Hopefully I’ll submit it to some magazines soon.

My short story collection

Very briefly I wanted to touch on my short story collection which I’ve titled “She is Also Dead.” I’ve been meaning to make a blog post on this, so look out for that in the coming months, but this collection is already at around 35k words (about 14 stories so far). The collection also surprisingly has a solid amount of flash fiction which is kind of fun! There’s definitely a range here, which is what I personally love in short story collections.

I feel very professional now that I have a ~collection chart. This is her:

(image description: A chart with the title “She is Also Dead.” It is broken into four columns: Story, Status, Word Count, and Published. Entry 1 - Story: Slaughter the Animal. Status: Revisions, Word Count, 3982, Published: N/A. Entry 2 - Story: Joanne, I’ll Pray for You, Status: Polished, Word Count: 1809, Published: N/A. Entry 3 - Story: Primary Organs, Status: Published, Word Count: 2342, Published: The Malahat Review. Entry 4 - Story: Faberge, Status, Polished, Word Count: 619, Published: N/A. Entry 5 - Story: The Wolf-Antelope Will Not Come for Us, Status, Polished, Word Count: 1556, Published: filling Station (forthcoming). Entry 6 - Story: How to Spell Alpaca, Status: revisions, Word Count: 1327, Published: N/A. Entry 7 - Story: Blink Twice for Final Judgement, Status: Polished, Word Count: 6572, Published: N/A. Entry 8 - Story: The Species is Dead, Status: Published, Word Count: 1208, Published: Minola Review. Entry 9 - Story: Shark Swimming, Status: Polished, Word Count: 907, Published: N/A. Entry 10 - Story: The Party, Status, Polished, Word Count 2339, Published: N/A. Entry 11 - Story: Fig, Status: Polished, Word Counter: 947, Published: N/A. Entry 12 - Story: Protect the Young, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 4128, Published: N/A. Entry 13 - Story: Where to Run When the Lamb Roars, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 2174, Published: N/A. Entry 14 - Story: Phantom Limbs, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 4844, Published: N/A.) /end image description.

This order is DEFINITELY not permanent (at this point whenever I write a story, I just fit it randomly into this chart lol), and some of the info is outdated (for example, Slaughter the Animal is now polished!!! thank god!!!). But just an idea of what I’m thinking of including.

This is the summary so far:

In SHE IS ALSO DEAD, characters are pushed to act on their gravest impulses. A small town turns murderous when their local invasive species, the Janices, begin dying. A child struggles to understand her mother’s suicide. A college dropout who insists she’s being haunted by a poltergeist unexpectedly breaks up with her boyfriend. A mother acknowledges her daughter’s murderous tendencies after her backyard chickens mysteriously die. A young girl caters the funeral of a girl rumored to be killed by a wolf-antelope. A newly-divorced mother RSVP’s to a bizarre party she was not invited to, and a murderous brother and sister upkeep their yearly tradition of abducting a young girl. These stories follow characters who navigate death, violent desires, womanhood, and loss, both self-imposed and otherwise.

This is also so subject to change as I may pull and add stories to the collection!

I think I’m going to leave this update here for now! I’ve written TONS of poetry too, but I honestly ~hate my poetry right now lol, so! Hope you enjoyed this chill rambly update. Hope writing has going well for you all! All the best!

--Rachel

#writing #writeblr #writerblr #amwriting #writingupdates

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facets-and-rainbows · 4 years ago

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Blue Exorcist 10th anniversary book Q&A session

The 10th anniversary book has a section where Katoh answers 100 questions submitted by fans on Twitter, so here they are translated/paraphrased! May contain manga spoilers up to the recent flashback arc, so be warned.

(Note that I’m playing it very fast and loose here because there are A HUNDRED OF THEM, so not exact wordings, but it should capture the gist. Lemme know if there are any you want elaborated on)

1. Katoh likes the feel of traditional drawing more than digital but is impressed with how far digital has come

2. Meph THOROUGHLY ABUSES spacetime to watch all his shows and ensure that he gets all the merch he wants

3. Did the girls take all of Yukio’s school uniform buttons in middle school? Yes, they did (apparently it’s like A Thing for girls to ask for a button from their crush at middle school graduation, based on some sad movie from the 60s where a guy who got drafted as a kamikaze pilot gave a girl one of his uniform buttons to remember him by)

4. Rin's tail is about a meter long

5. There are tons of servants working at Mephisto's mansion. Belial is in charge of them

6. Katoh borrows from all sorts of neat real locations when making settings

7. Katoh identifies with pretty much all the characters the most! Except Lucifer.

8. Demon designs she's proud of include the impure king and hachirou, pretty much anything that was the main one in an arc

9. Katoh lists a bunch of her favorite musical artists/music she’s listening to recently: King Gnu, Official Hige Dandism, Kenshi Yonezu, BAD HOP, Sakanaction, Keyakizaka 46, Hypnosis Mic, Aimer, B’Z, Queen Bee.

10. Awww the rabbit manga that characters are often reading isn't just Robo to Usakichi, it's an even older one that she drew as a little kid

11. She likes industrial style interior designs

12. Rin and Yukio alternated who got the top bunk growing up, because they couldn't agree on it lol

13. Katoh cares a whole lot about panel layouts and speech bubble positions, might even be her favorite part of the process (it shows!)

4. Katoh does NOT have a mashou, lol

15. Rin has probably been practicing in secret so he can learn to carry stuff with his tail

16. Izumo probably got into shojo manga around 1st grade, her mom had some around the house

17. Specialty dishes: Rin - lots of stuff but especially nabe Yuri - stuff you can throw together quickly Shiro - stuff he learned from Yuri and/or cookbooks, alongside teaching Rin Yukio - Does. Not. Cook.

18. Can't pick a favorite place she's been on research, but there's no place like Japan

19. Kinzou's band isn't currently meeting because demons, but he's probably still thinking of new songs

20. Hardest characters to draw: anyone with detailed flowing hair. Hardest to write for: Lightning and Gedouin. She had to go read books about serial killers specifically for material for Gedouin, lol

21. Suguro actually gets a dorm room to himself, though allegedly Yukio is technically assigned as his roommate, lol. Didn't end up that way what with Yukio being a teacher and also Rin’s whole...situation

22. Shiemi makes some of her own hair accessories! Cute

23. Katoh doesn't mind if you include stuff with fan letters but check with the editor first

24. Time for making each chapter: Planning/storyboarding: 1-5 days. Sketching: 3-5 days. Drawing/inking: the rest. Just...the rest of the time

25. Neither Suguro nor Izumo have dated before and neither is currently dating. But that's probably just because things were hectic for them! It could happen

26. Yukio breaks 5 or 6 pairs of glasses a year, someone get this kid a strap or something

27. How many spare glasses does Yukio have? Check the fanbook lol it's in there (dang it Katoh)

28. The demon she wants us to pay the most attention to is Lucifer. Because plot.

29. What's under the Order's big meeting table? It's a BOTTOMLESS PIT and if you fall in it you DIE that's what makes it COOL (laughs)

30. What are the job requirements for the angelic legion? Literally just Arthur liking you and inviting you to join

31. She WANTS to do more character profiles but just hasn't gotten to it

32. Rin's tail feels like a cat tail, texture wise

33. The "red Assiah fire" is literally just actual fire nothing special

34. Rin's current hair color is light blue fading to white at the ends

35. Thoughts on Rin's growth: she likes that he stays positive in awful situations and she also thinks it's very main character of him to face the past instead of avoiding it

36. Mephisto didn't purposely surround Rin with stuffed animals when he woke up after going crispy. Mephisto's bed is just Like That

37. Kurikara was based on a cool sword she found in a sword book, but that one was technically just a ceremonial sword. The symbol on it us a Sanskrit letter kaan (sp?) associated with Fudou Myouou

38. Kuro can communicate with normal cats and hangs out with them often

39. Sometimes Shiemi's skirt is extra fancy around the hem what's up with that? Apparently it's an optional accessory that comes with the skirts help I haven't noticed this and don't know any fashion terms in any language

40. When coloring, Katoh always tries to have an overall theme in mind ("emphasis on blue" etc) so it comes together in the end

41. Yes the twins are genetically related to Shiro because of Goro (she says they're like his nephews but I say GENETICALLY at least they'd be indistinguishable from his children)

42. Strongest mom of all the strong moms around here? Yuri! Did you SEE her give birth??

43. Are you careful about your own health Katoh-sensei? Not particularly! Her mom has had to bring her food at work sometimes! Don't do this at home kids

44. At the dating events Shura goes to, does she drink cocktails in moderation? Yeah, she probably downplays her normal drinking habits at these things. But normally she's down for just about any kind of drink

45. Lucifer just really likes oysters okay

46. How many pages of manga does Katoh draw in a day? If she's being good about self-care: three. Maximum number ever: TEN

47. Mephisto is one of those folks who can eat like a garbage compactor and never gain weight. Possibly because his body resists that sort of change the same way it resists aging etc

48. First food Rin cooked: fish burger type patty. Yukio's favorite things Rin cooks: fish simmered in soy sauce, yellowtail with daikon radish. It's fish all the way down

49: Did Rin ever get more monthly allowance from Mephisto? It doubled! He gets TWO 2000 yen bills now (rip) [T/N: That's uh, that's USD $37.26 a month or 33.10 euro]

50. Why isn't Rin more popular with the girls? He gets nervous talking to them, plus he's too oblivious to notice even if he DID have some fans

51. Why change Suguro's hair? She gets bored with keeping everything the same, and she wanted a visual representation that he was getting serious and going into kind of a training arc

52. Things Katoh pays extra attention to when drawing: trying to capture the feel of whatever she's drawing (like "that looks warm and soft" or "I bet that guy stinks" cough Lightning cough)

53: Does Rin take after Yuri more? (He's got her eyes!) Katoh tried to draw Yuri so she looks like both twins. Personality, too - Yukio has her smarts and Rin has her optimism

54: Do you ever wanna be like Mephisto? Well she'd like to be able to get away with just ANYTHING EVER, but no, let's not be like Mephisto

55. Konekomaru not only carries around a cat toy in case he meets any cats, he MAKES cat toys to carry around based on what he thinks the cats would like

56. How'd you come up with Shima? Go read the fan book!

57. Do the kids have Twitter/Instagram accounts? Rin - probably not. Konekomaru might be on some social media. Paku and Izumo are totally on instagram

58. Is there something Rin makes that you wish you could try? All of it! That's the whole idea! He's good at cooking!

59. Will we ever have a (G-rated) reveal of what ALL of Mamushi and her family's tattoos look like? Maybe! She'll think about it

60. Does Arthur have a repertoire of different hairstyles? Not really, he just puts some of it up on the top. Heck he might even have people to do that for him

61. If you wrote a shojo manga what would it be about? She'd have to do a lot of research before even coming up with a story, since there are so many style differences between the genres aside from just the subject

62. The other two of Mephisto's top 3 favorite foods: Cup ramen and....f-fried bubblegum?? Is that a THING???

63. Where do you start when drawing a character? Usually the outline of their face but if it's a complex pose/composition she'll start with whatever's in the foreground (like hands)

64. If Katoh could have a familiar, what demon would she choose? Mephisto. As the all-powerful author, she might actually be able to command him as a familiar!

66. If you swapped Yukio and Rin's relationship around what would change? not much, you'd pretty much have Rin going to the Illuminati and Yukio going to the past

67. Top 3 foods/souvenirs to try in Kyushu? Well she doesn't know what’s good CURRENTLY but when she was there she always used to like burdock tempura udon, hakata torimon (a kind of manju with white bean paste inside), and Chikae style cod roe. today I learned Katoh went to high school in Kyushu

68. Katoh listens to music a lot while she's storyboarding, then when she and the assistants are all drawing and inking they put various videos/movies and stuff on in the background

69. For all his hitting on girls, is Shima actually popular with the ladies at all? He's got enough girls in his life that he probably COULD find a girlfriend if he really wanted, but the double agent thing tends to get in the way. He still wouldn't be as popular as Yukio though (side thought/translator’s note: Shima would be proud of being number 69.)

70. Katoh has the ending planned out in a big-picture way, but there are still a few details here and there that she's fretting over

71. It's cute when the boys put their ties over their shoulders when they're working on something! Where'd that come from? She just figured a tie might get in the way and that seemed like a realistic way to get it out of the way

72. Looks like Yukio is getting some facial hair! What about Rin? They're both about the age for it, but maybe Rin can't grow a beard yet. Maybe a little peach fuzz here and there

73. Katoh's favorite blue exorcist merch? There were some exorcist licenses a while back, and the exorcist pins. Basically it's really cool that these little accessories she drew ACTUALLY EXIST NOW, LIKE YOU CAN HOLD THEM IN YOUR HANDS

74. Okay realtalk how long do we have left, I don't want the series to end yet? We're solidly in the second half by now but it's not, like, ABOUT to end yet

75. Katoh would be a Knight meister, based on what characters she likes to play in games and such

76. How many people in the whole exorcism cram school? More than you think! She doesn't give a number but apparently licensed exorcists also attend classes for new meisters, etc, so there's a wide age range attending

77. How's Arthur feel about, like, studying Taming on the way to becoming Paladin? He's at least mostly accepted that you have to use demons to fight demons effectively

78. Konekomaru started wearing glasses in his first year of middle school, so like 7th grade (more recent than I thought!) He has one spare pair, in contrast to Yukio lol

79. Katoh's current obsessions? Ghost/scary stories! She's even been going to live readings of them recently

80. Media Katoh consumes for inspiration? A wide range of foreign teen drama, horror/suspense, shojo manga, light novels, anime, etc. Special focus on things where two boys are in conflict or there are brothers involved

81. If they weren't exorcists what jobs would they have? Rin - chef. Yukio - doctor. Shiemi - uh, florist?

82. Inspiration for the design of True Cross Town? Katoh and her assistants gathered up a bunch of references, picked out stuff they felt matched the tone, and mashed them all up together

83. Did you use any references etc for the school/exorcist uniforms? She says she probably should have but she just kind of made them up before publication

84. Favorite part of drawing? For color pages, picking out a color scheme. For black and white, drawing in all the little details (though she doesn't always get time to lately)

85. Once again confirms the demon kings' weird hair is a representation of their horns. ADDS THAT PEOPLE WHO CAN'T SEE DEMONS CAN'T SEE THE WEIRD HAIR

86. Now that Yukio's at the Illuminati, where's he gonna get his Jump SQ and spare glasses? Well he probably never planned to stay for long, but hey it's a big ship and they might have an optometrist and/or newsstand there

87. Do you base the demon characters on any references etc? Not really, she just gets a general idea of popular demon designs and then makes up her own in her own style

88. Merchandise Katoh personally wants to have made: stuff that an adult could just use in their day to day life. Also, it's not gonna happen, but if her favorite figure brand made AoEx figures she could die happy

89. If Beelzebub's host body was a beautiful woman, how would Shima react? Would the womanizing win out over the bug phobia? Katoh replies that Shima would probably just faint from being near a girl that pretty, before the bugs even got involved

90. Will the twins ever get to smile and eat dinner together again?? We'll just have to wait and see!

91. What do you check at a "scenario check"? what's a scenario check man I dunno They check for people being out of character or the setting feeling off. They had a lot of these checks for the anime, but they also do them for the drama CD, games, and all that other stuff where multiple authors are involved

92. Why does Shura use baldy as an insult for people who are clearly not bald? She feels like they have some kind of metaphorical, mental kind of "baldness" and she's calling them out on it. Whatever that means

93. After Blue Exorcist ends, what do you want to draw next? She has SO MANY IDEAS, SO MANY

94. Did Katoh make up the Shinto chants that, for example, Izumo used against Gedouin? They're assembled from bits of actual Shinto prayers according to what feels right in the scene

95. Yukio reads the Jump SQ, right, and, just hear me out here, he likes gag manga, right? Does this mean he reads Salaryman Yukio? It's something he would read, but let's say that in the AoEx universe there's just a very similar manga that he finds oddly relatable

96. What do Yukio and Shima do in their free time on the Dominus Liminus? oh my god you guys this ship has so many amenities. Yukio probably spends time reading in the library, which they totally have. There's also, like, a gym, and a movie theater, and a THEATER theater, all of which are free. Shima probably hangs out at the pool (!) and goes to the movies, and hits on illuminati girls, lol

97. Easiest character to draw? The ones with boring simple hair, lol. Lightning gets an honorable mention for ALSO not having eyes in most shots, but Rin wins--he was specifically designed to be easy for Katoh to draw because that's what you want in your main character

98. How do demons understand gender? They just possess whatever feels like the best match to how they feel in Gehenna, whether that's a man, or a woman, or a rat, or whatever

99. Where do you start when you're coming up with a story? She starts with character design and how the characters relate to each other. Currently she's just continuing an existing story, so she works on splitting up the overall plot into episodes and fleshing it out with scenes and information about characters

100. When do you feel most happy? She honestly feels like she lives a very happy life overall. Mentions noticing a lot of little things, like how nice her cats' heads smell when she cuddles them or taking a nice cold refreshing drink of water. There's happiness in everything. aww.

#blue exorcist #interview #Ao no Exorcist #translation

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prettywordsyouleft · 4 years ago

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The Cowboy - Part 2

Summary: Leaving the city for a rural area called Blayne seemed simple enough. Your task was to convince the people to agree with selling their land for a resort redevelopment. But once there, you soon realise that your city ways are entirely different to theirs. Winning their trust was going to take some effort, and when you start to fall for a local cowboy, you wonder if you really needed Blayne more than the city life after all.

Pairing: Jung Jaehyun x female reader

Genre: cowboy au / drama / romance / if you squint there’s some enemies to lovers up in here.

Warnings: Jung Jaehyun is a cowboy, need I say more? (a bit of angst and drama, and it sometimes might feel like you’re reading a Nicolas Sparks book, so I’m told lol)

Word count: 1708

This series will be updated every Thursday and Friday starting 7th January.

Preview | 1 | 2 | 3

You barely recovered before he walked off, rounding the outside of the building. Scrambling after him, you soon fell into step with the son of the household.

The incredibly attractive Jung son.

“So you’ll be able to put on the power?”

“Sure, I’ll just wind up the generator and in about three hours-”

“Generator?! Hours?!”

He laughed then, the sound making you halt in your tracks in a daze. Glancing back at you, he smirked. “You’re sure easy to fool, Miss City.”

“Well, I was expecting a teen with the way your mother spoke of you, Mr Cowboy.”

“We’re a loving bunch around here,” he answered, walking over to a box on the side of the house and patting it. “All I have to do is flick a switch, and you’ll have power.”

“Thank god.”

“Not willing to rough it even for a night?”

“Rough it?”

He smirked again. “You sure don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into.”

“So people keep telling me. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure you will,” he replied, staring back at you for a moment. You raised an eyebrow, and he chuckled, pulling open the box and turning on the main switch. You saw the lights in the house you had flicked on come to life, and you clapped your hands together with glee.

“Yes!”

“Are you scared of the dark?”

“Are you always this full of yourself?” you shot back, and he grinned.

“Somewhat.”

“Anything else I need to know about so I can survive the night?”

After shutting the fuse box, he returned to your side, stuffing his hands deep into his jean pockets and leaned towards you. “You sound like high maintenance.”

“Perhaps I am.”

“You’re in for a rude awakening here then.”

“I’m adaptable,” you announced and he laughed. “What, I am!”

“This isn’t something you just get used to, Miss City. You’ll be gone before long.”

“And what will you do if I prove otherwise?” you challenged, and his eyes lit up, glinting with enjoyment.

You had to admit this banter was doing things for you too.

“There’s no point making plans for things that won’t come into fruition.”

“You’re infuriating.”

“I know, but it seems that you’re enjoying it.”

“Fine,” you stated simply, throwing your hands up. “Thank you for turning on the power, Mr Cowboy.”

“Enjoy your night, Miss City.”

You both rounded back to the front of the house, where you went to the veranda, and he approached the truck. You eyed it warily. “Is that thing legal?”

“Don’t try and use too many appliances at once. Houses like these can get overloaded, and it’ll trip the fuse and turn the power off. I’ve got cattle to run tomorrow, so you’ll be without power for some time if you do that.”

You blinked, trying to decipher if he was being serious or not. He shrugged and opened the door to the truck. “R-Really?”

“Take it on as some friendly advice.”

“Ah, is that what it is.” You nodded with a laugh as he climbed into the cab of the vehicle. Dashing down to the driver’s side, you leaned on the open window, and he watched you curiously. “Can you give me some more friendly advice?”

“Don’t open the front door. There might be coyotes howling out in the distance that you’ll have to get used to and by the hay barn, there is an old owl that likes to hoot around three in the morning. You’re welcome.”

“Wait! I was meaning more like if there’s regular mobile data service out here. I’ve got some files to-”

“You’re in the wrong place if you want to be on the internet, Miss City. I’ll give you two days out here before you head on back to your four-gee or whatever the thing is called.”

“You’re getting on my nerves.”

He grinned. “And you’re on my door stopping me from getting home to dessert, ma’am.”

Lifting your arms off, he tipped his cowboy hat at you again and started up the truck. You shook your head as he reversed down the drive before turning the vehicle around.

“Wait! I didn’t even get your real name!” you called out into the night, pouting some.

It didn’t matter. Even if he was the most handsome guy you had seen in months, he was also not your type with how easily he assumed so little of you.

Fishing out your phone, you held it up in search for a stronger signal. Groaning when there was only one bar, you stomped into the house and shut the door behind you.

When your alarm went off the following morning, you were already wide awake, staring up at the ceiling in sheer frustration. The advice you had received last night had been helpful, but what you needed was earplugs instead. You never knew the wilderness to be so loud.

“How am I going to get enough sleep here until I can order some earplugs?” you questioned to no one in particular, sitting up in the bed. You had to admit, whilst the sounds of the outdoors had kept you up, the bed had been surprisingly comfy.

There had to be some perks for being this far detached from proper civilisation.

“Might as well get up,” you decided, flinging back the blankets and padding across the hall into the quaint bathroom. You hadn’t paid a lot of attention last night to the house, too exhausted from travelling for two days. As you did your morning skincare routine, you used the mirror to look around your space. It had a cozy cottage-core vibe that you had recently seen come up as a trend on Pinterest.

“Natty loves things like this,” you told the home, smiling softly before heading downstairs to the kitchen.

The house was decorated warmly. Although many modern conveniences were missing, you couldn’t help but feel like you were in a home that was cherished.

Someone must have loved this place like that at one point in time, you thought, jumping when the phone went off again.

“Hello?”

“Miss L/N, is that you?”

“Ah, yes it is, who am I speaking to?”

“Oh! June told me that someone was staying at the old Jung house so I figured I’d give you a bell and offer you some breakfast down at the diner. You won’t miss it. We’re the first building on Main Street.”

“That’s so kind of you to offer, but I have all the ingredients for a power green smoothie here-”

“Smoothie? Darling, a drink isn’t going to give you enough energy to get through your day.”

“Pardon?”

“Aren’t you starting your surveying job of Blayne today? There’s a lot to get through.”

Not really, you thought wickedly and bit your lip in case you said anything out loud. “Ah, right. Well, I’ll come down then.”

“Do come!” And then the line went dead.

“Who was I even speaking to?” you wondered when you placed down the phone, blinking slowly.

You got ready and headed down the bumpy drive and then another fifteen minutes until you reached what the inhabitants of this strange place called Main Street. You had to admit, it was the only area of Blayne were you saw more than two people at once, and it relaxed you to be back around people.

You hadn’t realised just how overcrowded the city was when you found yourself now missing the constant sight of people.

Once you parked your car, you got out and locked it, checking to make sure the door wouldn’t open. You heard a snigger from the sidewalk. “You’re new here.”

“Ah, yes.”

“You don’t need to lock your car here. No one is going to steal it,” the young girl said, eying you curiously. You nodded politely and walked inside the diner, instantly hit with the smell of fried food.

You were hungrier than you expected.

“Miss L/N!” a voice called, and everyone in the establishment turned to look at you.

Smiling politely and rushing over to the front counter, you sat down on a stool. The woman who greeted you smiled graciously. “I’m May.”

“May… June-”

May laughed. “Our parents weren’t all that creative with our names. I’m June’s older sister.”

“Oh! It’s nice to meet you. Please, feel free to call me Y/N.”

“Earl, can you serve up our guest the breakfast special?” May called out without taking her eyes off of you.

You smiled gently before darting your gaze to the menu distractedly. “You have a nice place here. Do you sell soy chai lattes?”

“Soy what?”

“Ah, nothing. Coffee. Coffee will do.”

“Black or white, darling? Any sugar?”

After sorting yourself with caffeine, you then glanced around again. There were about six others in total, and most of them were looking in your direction. Nodding politely at them, you turned back to May.

“I guess you don’t get many visitors.”

“They don’t stay long, no,” she replied, placing a large plate loaded with a fried assortment and pancakes. You eyed the meal. It would be triple the macros for your daily intake. Still, you were hungry.

You picked up your knife and fork. “They don’t?”

“I think the last person stayed a week. That was pretty long.”

“Only a week?” you cut into a hashbrown. “Why did they leave so soon?”

“Unless you’re a farmer or born into farming, you wouldn’t really enjoy being out here. We have only twelve stores. Nothing arrives here quickly, and you have to be pretty self-sufficient to survive. There’s not a lot calling people here.”

“There could be. I mean, you have a lot of land-”

“For farming,” May cut in, and you swallowed down a bit of hashbrown before nodding.

“Yes, but it’s beautiful and picturesque. People who want to escape the daily grind would flock to a place like this if there was an establishment to stay in.”

“Our inn hasn’t had a guest since nineteen-eighty-three. You want to know why?”

“It has a ghost story?” you asked innocently, and May merely smiled haughtily.

“The only people staying in Blayne were born and raised here, Y/N. You’ll soon realise the utopia you and your company are hoping to build out here is a pipe dream.”

_________________

Part 3

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saeyoungs-sunflower · 4 years ago

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yo!!! what are the rfas nighttime routines with mc?

Welcome back to another episode of ‘Sunny is drinking alone and decided to get her shit together and do some requests’ (I am a horrible influence, if you are under the drinking age please be responsible). Anywayyyy here ya go anon! I very well may read this back in the morning and edit it again but will let you know! <3

***

RFA nighttime routines with MC

Zen:

❤︎ Zen’s all about a pamper y’all

❤︎ he wants to stay looking fresh and healthy but bbygirl he also wants to make sure you’re well looked after

❤︎ is it even a nighttime routine if you don’t have an elaborate hour-long skincare regime?

❤︎ well yes Zen not everyone is as extra as you like you might as well be chewing gum

❤︎ if anyone actually gets that dumb joke then i am so sorry but also you get 10 points

❤︎ whilst i don’t imagine Zen to usually be that tired in the evenings, his muscles are always tired after a show/day of rehearsals

❤︎ so he would have a bath but he also gets home pretty late and doesn’t wanna faff around ya know?

❤︎ so shower it is

❤︎ oh you think that because he’s a grown ass man that he could be away from you for like 10 mins to shower on his own? well you thought wrong

❤︎ actual puppy

❤︎ sometimes it turns into ~sexy times~ but most of the time he just enjoys the intimacy/closeness and enjoys it when you take care of each other

❤︎ and boy when you shampoo his hair he literally turns to putty

❤︎ when you get out of the shower he L O V E S to do your hair

❤︎ king of braiding

❤︎ but he L O V E S it even more when you do his hair

❤︎ pretty sure you heard him purr once

❤︎ then he sneezed lmao

❤︎ you’re both pretty much out as soon as you get into bed but you always fall asleep in each others’ arms

❤︎ to conclude: nighttimes are about taking care of each other

Yoosung:

★ so this man FINALLY got his life together once you started dating

★ you helped him find his motivation and drive again so it’s actually a pretty production evening most of the time

★ your goal is to get everything done early on so you can relax properly later

★ soon as you both get home? homework/work straight away

★ you also try to make a habit of cooking dinner together every night

★ but you know how it is sometimes you just wanna order a takeaway and that’s chill too

★ do what you gotta do boo

★ once you’ve finished dinner aND DONE ALL THE WASHING UP (don’t you dare leave it until the morning Yoosung i see you), you play LOLOL together !!!!

★ he found that it was SO much more rewarding to play once everything he needed to do was done, and he didn’t have that horrible nagging guilt whilst he had down time

★ then all that’s left to do is get ready for bed !!

★ …

★ …Yoosung?

★ GO TO BED FOOL

★ “mC oNe MoRe gAme” “you said that an hour ago.” “i MeAn iT tHiS TiMe”

★ EVENTUALLY you drag him to bed but he’s always grateful when you do because he only realises how tired he is when his head hits the pillow

★ and he also gets s n u g g l e s so it’s always worth it

★ to conclude: nighttimes are productive but also relaxing

Jaehee:

☞ this poor woman works so hard

☞ even when she quits working for Jumin and you guys open the coffee shop, she still always pushes herself to the max

☞ ya girl gets tired

☞ so you know what that means

☞ BUBBLE BATH TIME

☞ some things only bubbles can heal

☞ wow what that’s so deep Sunny ah yes wasn’t it thank you Sunny aren’t i inspirational yes you are Sunny

☞ you two always go a but overboard with the bubbles lmao but this woman only deserves the best o K

☞ similarly to Yoosung’s, you guys like to get everything done that needs to be done before you relax, so once you get out of the bath you can do whatever ya want!!! how swell is that!!!!

☞ usually end up watching a movie/one of Zen’s musicals because why not hmm?

☞ Jaehee likes to get an early night, so y’all are all snuggled down and ready to sleep at a reasonable hour, ready for your shift in the morning

☞ on a serious note, this woman is pretty affection starved so you make it your MISSION to shower her with love before she falls asleep

☞ i’m talking kisses, cuddles, the whole shebang

☞ when you’re cuddling you like to have a good gossip about the RFA and all that and you always end up all giggly and it’s just the best

☞ to conclude: every night is like a teenage girly night in that she never got to experience

Jumin:

♚ although he doesn’t like to show it, he’s always exhausted after work

♚ he has a lot of pressure on him and he constantly has to be focussed and alert, so by the time he’s walking through the front door he’s running on very little energy

♚ therefore he appreciates a quiet night with the love of his life <3

♚ of course, every night you have a nice meal and a glass of wine W I N E and chat about your day

♚ Jumin has learnt to appreciate the smaller things in life after meeting you, so he adores listening to your voice as you talk about what you got up to that day during dinner

♚ you could be reading the phone book out loud for all he cared, he just loved listening to your voice

♚ he’s usually too mentally tired to do anything like reading in the evening, so most of the time you end up either watching a film or cuddling on the couch

♚ you have enlightened him to the concept of slouchy clothes

♚ yes, Jumin Han has learnt to appreciate joggers and a hoodies what about it?

♚ honestly just the sound of Elizabeth purring and your breathing is enough to bring his stress levels to 0

♚ he’s tried meditation, he’s tried mindfulness, but nothing was as healing as having you in his arms whilst you stroked his hair

♚ after you’ve done the essentials like showering and brushing your teeth and all that jazz, you get into bed and just talk

♚ normally you end up talking about your future, and he goes to sleep every night dreaming about the life you will have together, and then wakes up every morning excited to make that life a reality

♚ to conclude: nighttimes are for recovery and comfort

Saeyoung:

☀︎ honestly? every night is different lmao

☀︎ Saeyoung is a spontaneous guy, so no evening is the same when you’re with him

☀︎ which is amazing, because it keeps things exciting and fresh !!

☀︎ however, there are a few things that don’t change

☀︎ like fAMILY DINNER Y’ALL

☀︎ every. night. without. fail.

☀︎ it’s SO important to you guys that you have time to catch up with each other and make sure that Saeran feels a part of the family because sometimes he likes to hideaway and doesn’t know how to include himself

☀︎ so dinner time is the family bonding time, and then you go back to doing your own thing

☀︎ do you find brushing your teeth boring? do you wish you could make it more fun? do you have a energetic red-head in your life?

☀︎ well then LISTEN UP

☀︎ TEETH BRUSHING DANCE PARTY

☀︎ EVERY. DAMN. NIGHT.

☀︎ like is said, this man keeps you on your toes lmao

☀︎ is this a bathroom or a nightclub the world may never know

☀︎ did someone say cuddle monster??

☀︎ because that’s Saeyoung lol

☀︎ idek why but i always imagine Saeyoung to be very physically affectionate, and not necessarily in a ~sexy~ way

☀︎ he just really appreciates physical contact

☀︎ it grounds him and reassures him that you’re really there and really love him

☀︎ I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN IT’S A HUGE PROBLEM

☀︎ to conclude: every night is exciting and spontaneous, there’s never a boring night with Saeyoung

V / Jihyun:

❁ V is also a man that appreciates a quiet night in

❁ he’s had so much chaos and drama in his life, that quiet domesticity is utter bliss to him

❁ evenings are typically spent in a companionable silence whilst you do your own thing

❁ reading, drawing, whatever! there’s just something so comforting to him about being with you, without even needing to talk

❁ music has become an VERY important part of your lives

❁ we all know that Jihyun is a man who appreciates the arts, and music is no exception

❁ he’s had a stressful day? he’s feeling overwhelmed? put on some soothing music and you can actually see the tension melt away

❁ always trying out new recipes for dinner

❁ most of the time they turn out delicious, but some are just complete abominations i am so sorry

❁ but really? it doesn’t matter because you made them together and you had a good laugh about them

❁ one thing that you recently started doing was reading together in bed

❁ and i don’t mean reading two separate books oh no no no

❁ i’m talking the same book

❁ what a plot twist

❁ every night you take in turns to read out loud to each other

❁ it takes a while to get through book this way, but it also mean that you both appreciate every damn word because how could you not when they’re coming from the literal love of your life??

❁ to conclude: nighttimes are spent in quiet bliss

Saeran:

☽ every evening begins with a walk

☽ it’s a must

☽ Saeran just l o v e s nature, and it’s the perfect start to a relaxing evening

☽ Saeyoung picked up on the fact that you both like evenings to be a calm time, so when you two get home he tries not to be too crazy

☽ but we all know this bitch is out of control so it doesn’t last long lol

☽ Saeran secretly finds it so entertaining but bless he would never admit it

☽ Saeran finds a pleasure in the ordinary

☽ he has never experienced ‘normal’, so he finds so much comfort in everyday activities such as washing up, cooking, setting the table…things like that

☽ he hasn’t had much time to form his own hobbies/interests, and is still experimenting to find things that he enjoys

☽ so he loves watching you do your hobbies

☽ it really doesn’t matter what it is, he just finds watching you concentrate on something you care about so fascinating

☽ often you will offer to teach him and share your interests, and his face always lights up when you do so

☽ this precious boi i cry

☽ he just loves to learn i C R Y

☽ when it comes to showering and all that, he prefers to do that alone

☽ don’t get me wrong, he adores you and cherishes every moment he spends with you

☽ but he’s easily overwhelmed and needs time to himself

☽ it’s also important to him that he’s able to care for himself, so something as simple as washing his face on his own helps him feel like he has some control

☽ to conclude: nighttime is the time for self-care and exploration

***

Thank you so much for the request, anon! I hope these were what you were looking for. Have a wonderful day💛

326 notes · View notes

honeypirate · 4 years ago

Text

Old Friends part three

parts 1 and two on my masterlist here

Bakugou Pro!Hero x Pro!hero female reader

I don’t know much about Bakugou’s new hero name, like reasoning behind the change, i don’t read the manga, but I am aware of the new name so I use it because this is set in the future, i don’t know if it is a spoiler anymore or not lol

I probably should have reread the other parts just in case I forgot anything but oh well. Here’s this part that might have a lot of errors haha. 😘

Also sorry for using a Spotify link and then a YouTube link and not just both the same site but I don’t want to change it because I don’t know if many people will even click them XD

The links for the hero outfit go to Pinterest

You get to the office and Bakugou introduces you to their secretary at the front desk, “this is, Mina, she takes calls and files the paperwork for cases we take from the public, we check in with her when we get here and she gives us...” Mina takes out a small black box and places it on the desk while he talks “ear pieces that connects us all to each other and to her when we need her to give us information.” you all three take an ear piece and you smile at the small girl, she had an intimidating air about her and you liked that “it’s nice to meet you!” you say with a small bow and she bows back to you “you as well, Guardian” her use of your hero name didn't bother you, on the walk over Kiri had mentioned that Mina’s quirk allowed her control over who is and who isnt allowed to enter the building, once she knows your face she can allow you to always enter, so if any one wanted to come meet to request assistance they needed to book an appointment first to be confirmed, after she runs intense background checks.

You head into the women’s locker room to change into your hero suit before the meeting, the familiar feeling of excitement and anxiety knotting its way into your stomach, the calm before the storm of a mission. You put in your headphones and hit play on your mission playlist, a playlist that you and Bakugou made together in high school specifically to get in the right head space before work. It’s since been added to but still has the original songs you both came up with, they always worked to get your head in the game.

(this is the song that plays this link takes you to spotify)

Once you’re dressed in your usual hero attire,(( outfit but gloves like this tho))

You stash your bag, phone, and street clothes in a locker that was provided, you place the ear piece in a pocket and exit the room quietly singing the song from your playlist that was now stuck in your head. “I drew stick figures of you and me, don't you agree? We would make-” “the best team, better than the 96 Bulls ever were” Bakugou cuts you off, saying the rest of the line you were singing, you turn to see him leaning against the wall outside the locker room, waiting for you, you smirk and tilt your head “you’re still listening to ‘Y/N and BK get pumped?” He chuckles at your question “I will keep listening to it for as long as it works” he reaches up and messes with your cowl, running his fingers across the edge, “same here” you feel nostalgic and your chest fills with butterflies as he looks you over “I like your new suit” he nods approvingly “I like your new name” you quip back and he laughs “thank you. I felt it fit better. Our meeting is in here” he says and points to the door across the hall. You nod once and follow him into the meeting room.

You're sat at a conference table with many heroes, most you recognize but there is one man that you don't, he seems familiar but you don’t pay too much attention. Bakugou was seated in front of you at the rectangular conference table and Kirishima was to his left explaining the situation. “Thank you all for showing up to aid us with this mission, I’ll get right into it, over the past few weeks students from UA have been going missing. Up until recently we had no idea who they were or why they were doing this. The last victim to be kidnapped was a young student named Juliette” you got the goosebumps, ‘it could be a coincidence’ you thought as you looked at Kirishima as he spoke “the two previous victims were girls with the same name and all girls are 17. We still don't know why they are doing this but we now have a name.” a man comes up on a TV screen on the wall behind Kirishima and on the TV behind you, a man you knew well, your eyes are glued to the screen as pictures flash across the screen of him with his associates and him with the victims. You’re grateful for your cowl that hides your emotions that are on the surface. Your memories coming back to you in waves, meeting him on the bus one night when you were doing your internship in America, pretending to be interested in him and his goals. Making him fall in love with you just to lock him up. Stomach acid burned your throat as you watched the pictures change.

Your thoughts are chased away as you feel someone nudge your leg with their foot, your eyes immediately flick to Bakugou who is staring right at you with his brows furrowed. He could always read you, you weren’t surprised that hasn't changed. You reach out with your foot and gently touch the inside of his ankle up to his knee, deciding to use him as a distraction for your brain. When you notice his cheeks subtly dust with pink you smirk and then turn your attention to Kirishima, now with more resolve.

“The group of villains calls themselves The Red Ox. We know their usual hideouts but so far they've been all empty, we have sights on them 24/7 to see if they return. We need to gather whatever information we can and find them as soon as possible. We will be working directly with the police to get these girls back.” ”Red, can I speak?” your hand is a little raised, he nods “go for it” you stand up and point to the TV “the guy in the middle, his name is Robin, the other two wearing masks are part of his quirk, when I knew him in California five years ago he went by the name Triple Threat. Last I knew we captured him and he was imprisoned in America. The kids,” your voice breaks and you clear your throat to cover your true feelings and feel a little comfort when Bakugou's shoe gently touches yours again, “the kids are a message. We caught him because I went undercover with the name Juliette Simmons and became his sidekick, ending up breaking his heart and apparently making him obsessed with me. He knows I went to school at UA, I don't know what he is going to do but I think he wants me.”

The hero you don't recognize speaks up “since Guardian here knows him and failed to stop him before then it's kind of her fault? Can’t she just use her powers to manipulate him and capture them anyway? I don’t see why we’re needed” the hero crosses his arms in his chair and sends a look of disgust your way. Your hands curl into fists against the table, you’re about to stand up for yourself but before you can Bakugou beats you to it, his fists clenched as little blasts go off against his palms. He looks more pissed than you've ever seen him, he looks downright feral, “your attitude is not helping us find these girls any quicker, you're causing unnecessary tension and not to mention being a complete dick. You know her hero name? So that means you understand her power? Her quirk costs a price to use, Dumbass. If she does something substantial it takes the price from her. If you're not going to work with us as a team then you can leave. We don’t need you.” the unknown hero gets up and walks out in a huff and you sit down quietly, throwing a glance at Kiri who sighs “was that really--” “yes!” Bakugou cuts him off and then sits. “Continue, Guardian'' he then says calmly with a nod at you.

“Robin was a student at the university in the same town where I had my internship. He was obsessed with human experiments to see if he could use his quirk to separate other people into threes like he does with himself. We should contact heroes in the US and ask for their files and see if they know how he got here instead of being in prison. Last I knew he was sentenced to life” Kirishima nods “Mina?” He says and the secretary who was sitting down at the end of the table opens her laptop “on it” she says and starts typing with inhumanly quick speed. You glance at Bakugou and he gives you a look that you can tell means he’ll talk to you later.

After more research and phone calls to your old teachers you all split up into pairs to go look around places he might be, a few hospitals reported thefts of medical supplies and blood banks as well, there were also reports that civilians had seen him in a few shopping centers buying clothing. Kirishima gives everyone orders, he pairs you and Bakugou and gives you the task to go around the hospitals and see if you can find out anything more than the police had, you also wanted to check out a bar you think he would have liked if he was the same as when you knew him. “Send all your information to Mina, she will make files for everyone to have tomorrow at the next meeting. Let’s go” the sound of chairs rolling back on the tile fills your ears, you glance at Bakugou and he gestures for you to wait, you nod and stay standing near the table waiting for the rest of the heroes to file out of the meeting room. Kirishima gives you a reassuring smile before being the last one to disappear.

“What’s up?” you keep your voice quieter since the room was now empty, “that’s the guy you were dating before?” His voice is calm, hiding how he really felt, which was embarrassed for bringing him up earlier, he didn’t know how you felt about it but he knew how hard going undercover was especially when feelings are involved. You give a simple nod and his brows furrow even deeper than they were. “I know how hard those missions can be. I’m.. uh.. We.. are always here to talk if you need someone” you can't help the warm fuzzy feeling that surrounds your heart. You place your arm on his bicep “Thank you, for being here for me after all these years and for standing up for me earlier. You’ve grown into an amazing hero and an even better man. Now what do you say we go and kick some ass?”

You left him with tingles in his arm where you touched him and butterflies in his stomach thinking about what you've said to him. He's been trying desperately these last years to grow into someone you can be proud of, you and his parents are the most important people to him, all that matters is that you are the ones who are proud of him. You don’t know how much it meant to hear you tell him those things. your voice breaks the silence “We’re here” “where is here G? This isn’t the hospital.” you let out a dry humorless chuckle “no but this is just the kind of place he would be at. I wanted to check here first since it was on the way” he nods once and holds the door open for you.

Pain. White hot, searing, pain. You grab your head and fall to your right knee, letting out a scream from the pain before taking a big inhale and holding your breath to feel where the pain was coming from. It started in your skull then flooding down your spine and into every one of your pain receptors. “Dyna-'' you manage to gasp out, turning your attention to the hero beside you who is doubled over in the same amount of extreme pain, panting, his fists are tight at his sides with little explosions happening in the palms of his hands. His face is scrunched trying to control himself from blasting his way out. He needed to protect everyone else in this bar, there were so many innocents. You try to use your quirk to stop the pain at the source in your body but the more you tried the more waves of pain you felt. Once you manipulated it to stop it would just start in a different part of your body and spread out.

“Oh my poor Juliette.. Or should I say y/n? Oops pardon me, Guardian!” He waves his hand dramatically in the air and rolls his eyes “didn't mean to blow your identity” his voice was far away sounding like you were underwater, your eyes searched the room to see if you could find where it was coming from. Robin was walking over to you from the bar, a beer in hand, flanked by three identical girls who look like the first victim.”Don’t. Touch. Her” Bakugou's voice was tense with pain as he tried to move in front of you, Robin just laughed and motioned to the girls, after that Bakugou must have passed out from the amount of pain he was in, he fell to his face and was motionless. “Bastard” your voice comes out in a forced whisper, it was so hard to talk, you're just glad Bakugou is still breathing.

“This was far sooner than I was expecting but i guess i underestimated you” he crouches in front of you and you scowl, from the pain and from the rage you felt from him hurting Bakugou “the pain you’re feeling is from my associate here, which i’m sure you’ve figured out already, although shes attacking your nervous system, i don’t doubt you’ll figure out how to get past the pain, making yourself indestructible inside and out, then you’ll be able to stop her with your quirk so i unfortunately have to be quick.” your mind is swimming, you felt queasy and clammy, you spit at him and he laughs before motioning to the triplet girls who hold up their hands, you thought you felt pain before that was nothing compared to now. A maniacal laugh fills your ears and you pry your head up to look at Robin again “my poor doll.” he strokes your face and you gag, you would have bit him if you could have moved more through the pain. You start at your feet and use your quirk to manipulate your cells to accept the pain, to grow and adapt with the pain, slowly regaining your control over yourself without moving a muscle so they wouldn’t suspect. out of the corner of your eye you see the other two of Robin’s bodies keeping the rest of the bars customers at bay. Come on, y/n think! What is the best course of action?

“Again! Gaining movement quicker than i thought!” his laughter is crazier than you remember, your body tingles with bad feelings and tension underneath all the pain “we still have many things to do before the final phase of my plan, so we will have to be going now, next time we meet it will be when I have planned it, I can guarantee you that. But first, what i need is this” he reaches out and cuts off a piece of your hair, you reach out and grab his wrist tight “why..do you need... that?” you spit out and he just laughs more and caresses your cheek “all in due time my doll. All in due time” he turns to the triplets who crank up your pain again, making you scream, dropping his wrist and falling to your elbows on the floor of the bar. You’re barely aware of his speaking again, and barely aware of his kick to your ribs before he walks out the bar laughing, the triplets and his other two bodies following him.

You hear voices far away, your mind is cloudy, you feel like you’re sinking through mud. Memories of your childhood with Bakugou run through your head as you sink into the darkness

“You fought Deku?” Your voice was soft, standing with him in the empty stairwell of the dorms. He doesn’t say anything, just nods once, his usual scowl on his face. “Katsuki” you whisper and see his hard exterior softens for a moment, his scowl turning into a look of grief, you softly take his hand that was in a fist by his side, and pull him to you, wrapping your arms around his neck and running your fingers of your left hand through his soft hair. He breaks then, his hot tears hitting your neck and shoulder as he curls into you, his arms tight around your middle and you feel his sobs rack through his body. You softly hum the song stuck in your head, Lookers by The Menzingers, while rubbing his back with one hand and the other still in his hair. You loved him then. You love him now.

Bakugou is holding your hand sitting beside you in the ambulance headed to the hospital, you’ve been out for a long time and he's starting to get worried, he came to right when Robin kicked you and he was filled with rage, he wished he wasn't still being affected by the triplets, he would have killed him right then if he could. Seeing you hurt like this brought back feelings he didn’t think he had anymore, he didn’t want to lose you. He didn’t want to see you in pain.

He assumed that when the pain left his body that they were too far away for the girls quirk to work anymore. He pulled you into his arms and checked your pulse, it was too faint to fill him with anything but worry, he presses the button on his ear piece “Mina we need an ambulance, the bar on 25th, Guardian is down” not even one second passes before shes talking back “they’ll be there in two minutes” he looks up at the bystanders “the police will be here in a few minutes! is everyone else okay?” the bar owner comes around and up to him “everyone is fine, how is she?” Bakugou's lips form a tight line “She’s alive. That’s all I know”

Your senses slowly return to your body, the bed you’re in isn’t very comfortable, you feel a hand clutching yours and something wet on your fingers. Your eyes flutter open and your stomach flutters at the sight. You’re in a hospital room and Bakugou is sitting next to your bed, holding your hand in his with his forehead resting on the top, the wetness on your fingers were his tears. Your stomach fills with butterflies as you remember your dreams of him, you knew your new found feelings would complicate things but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“What happened?” your voice is soft, drained, his head snaps up and you see his bloodshot eyes and wet cheeks. You smile and place your hand on his cheeks, brushing away his tears. “I was so worried” his voice cracks and you bring your other hand over to cup his face “I hope I didn’t cause you too much trouble” you brush away the last of his tears and he brings your palm to his lips, kissing it softly. “Not too much, but more than I would have liked.” You nod and your voice is barely a whisper, your eyebrows drawn together “I wish I could have protected you from whatever she did” he shakes his head and takes your hands in both of his “it’s not your fault. We will get them next time. Now we know more about what we’re up against” you nod but your feelings of guilt still linger in your chest.

Recovery Girl fixed you up and you did what you could to manipulate your cells back into shape. You and Bakugou give your statements to the police then you head back to the office to give your reports to Mina as well as report back to Kirishima. By the time you got back to the office it was after midnight, you didn’t expect this all to take so long. You stop outside the office and grab Bakugou's hand, the trip back was quiet, just listening to the sounds of the city not knowing what to say to each other yet. “Are you okay?” You squeeze his hand and he nods “I’m alright” you cup his cheek again “do you mind if I..” he chuckles “do whatever you want. I trust you” your cheeks flush and you nod, bringing your other hand up to his cheek. You close your eyes and focus on the feeling of your quirk, scanning through the cellular makeup of his body, you saw the pain receptors that were damaged in his body and fixed them, unblocking some of the receptors in his palms that would hinder his quirk, you see his cells like a constellation behind your eyes, brightening the dull spots and making sure each aura flowed smoothly. Little things like this didn’t take much, just a little of your energy with no other repercussions. When you open your eyes he’s looking right into yours, a smile on his lips “do you know when you do that, you get a little aura that looks sparkly, like stars. Like you’re my personal guardian angel” you chuckle “it only happens if I have personal feelings towards the person I’m helping. It’s also the reason behind my hero name” you smile, dropping your hands from his cheek and saying “let’s go” you walk into the office, Bakugou right behind you, already overthinking your somewhat of a confession.

Kirishima hugged you the moment he saw you “I’m so glad you’re alright” he hugged Bakugou the same way and you smiled when Bakugou actually hugged him back. “I finished the paperwork for you guys from what the police had sent over to me. You guys should go home and order delivery and we will continue this conversation there. There is nothing we can do about any of this tonight so we should rest up.” You frown but agree. Heading into the locker room to change back into your street clothes before heading out. “Y/n” Bakugou breaks the silence between you “hmm?” You glance over at him and he looks worried “if you’re thinking that you’re going to be forced to use your quirk in a big way, please don’t. At least not yet. Give us a few days to form a strategy and plan. We can figure it out. I don’t want anything to happen to you. Not like before.” you let out a sigh and reach out your hand to him, silently asking him to take it, he doesn’t hesitate to lace your fingers together and squeeze your hand. you think through the last time you used your quirk in an extreme way, your last year of school there was another villain attack on the school, half of the buildings were destroyed, several people were injured and could die, you were in a panic and seeing Bakugou hurt pushed you over the edge, you couldn’t help but fix it. you used your quirk and reversed all the destruction and pain that was caused. bringing the villains back to be captured and making sure everyone was fine, everyone but you. your quirk needed to be paid so it took it from you, almost every bone in your body was broken and your muscles were torn, the pressure form your quirk wrecked your body. that was the first time you saw Bakugou cry out in the open around others, when he found you struggling to breathe because of the blood in your lungs, laying in the middle of training ground beta, he felt just as broken. if it wasn’t for Recovery Girl being on campus you probably would have died. your body simply isn’t as powerful as your quirk is.

You squeeze his hand three times “I don’t want that to happen either, I want to save those girls and figure this out without having to use my quirk like that. but it’s so frustrating to know that with a snap of my fingers I could fix this all, especially with the hair he took from me, what the hell could he need that for?! but something this big, the repercussions would be extreme, it would break every bone in my body and that’s the least it would do. but it makes me feel guilty like I’m putting my life above theirs and I don’t feel that way. I’m not better than anyone.their lives are worth the same as mine. What if he can use my hair and DNA to replicate me? or what if he uses it to control me? I don’t want anything to happen because of me, maybe what would be best would be stopping him right now no matter what happens to me” he takes a deep breath, thinking about what you’ve said “I hear you, I understand what you’re saying. the quickest option is not always the best option. there are too many unknown repercussions if you used your quirk that we have to factor in and figure out. we’ll bring it to the table tomorrow and discuss options.” his voice softens, like it was full of an emotion you couldn't name, “I never want to see you like that again. if we can figure this out without you having to use your quirk to that extent, then i think we should try that first” you reach the apartment then and Bakugou unlocks the door and lets you go in first. he closes the door and turns toward you with his arms out, you chuckle softly before walking into his embrace. you turn your head and lay your cheek against his chest, the sound of his heartbeat comforting to you “I know you’re right. we should eat and sleep on this and then we can decide more with everyone tomorrow. thank you for reminding me i’m not alone” he rubs his hand in circles across your back, you feel so vulnerable in his arms right now, all the walls you thought you had from not seeing him in years have broken down, you pull back and look up at him, noticing all his new scars on his chin and neck from the fights hes had, his stubble on his cheeks and jaw, hes grown into such a handsome man. his hand cups your cheek “i’ll always be here for you” he whispers and his thumb brushes across your lower lip, sending shivers down your spine and making your cheeks blush “Katsuki” your voice is barely above a whisper, his cheeks blush when you say his name, your eyes flutter close as he leans down, his lips ghost over yours and your body floods with butterflies and tingles. Your hands tangle in his hair and he pulls you tighter against his chest, your lips press harder against his, when he nips at your bottom lip you can’t help but giggle and he smiles at the sound, take the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, making you moan quietly and melt against him.

The sound of a key in the lock scares you both and you both step away from each other at the same time, one second before Kirishima walks in the door. You chuckle and turn away from the door, walking into the kitchen to get some water, so that Kirishima wouldn’t see your red face or swollen lips. Kiri is either oblivious or really good at acting like it, he throws his stuff down and says “the only take out place open is pizza! I ordered some on the way home so let’s shower and then we can eat and talk more. I have some ideas about the hair.” “Y/n go take the first shower” Bakugou orders and you chuckle as you meet his eye, you wink at him “okay boss” you chuckle again and he rolls his eyes “what do I get for trying to be nice? Mocked” he grabs his bag and heads to his room.

You grab your sweats and your underwear and head into the bathroom to shower, you take this ten minutes of alone time to clear your head as you stand under the hot water as it eases your muscles. You exit the shower and wrap yourself in a towel, deciding to brush your teeth just in case you get another opportunity to kiss again, and then get dressed.

“Fuck” you say and sigh, looking at yourself in the mirror, you had bruises across your ribs but that wasn’t the reason you swore. You forgot a shirt so you were standing in your sweats and a naked top. You look at your dirtyclothes and frown, you didn’t really want to put back on your dirty shirt, you raise a hand and put it against the towel that was now wrapped around your head, you guess you could just walk to your room down the hall in a towel, *knock knock* “are you okay?” Bakugou’svoice made you smile, you cover your chest with an arm and open the door a little to look out at him, lucky you he had his pajamas in his hands. You reach out the crack in the door and grab his hand, pulling him into the bathroom with you. “Whoa what are you doing?” He voice sounds a little worried and his cheeks flush when he realizes you’re not wearing a shirt, he looks up at the ceiling and you take his shirt from his hands “you’re my hero Bakugou” you say and laugh as you turn around so your back is towards him “holy fuck” he whispers when he sees your bruises, he can’t help himself as he reaches out, his fingers brushing softly against your skin makes you gasp, the shirt was over your head now and your towel on the sink “sorry” his voice was soft “I’m so sorry I couldn’t stop him from hurting you” your face blushes and you pull the shirt all the way down before you turn back to look at him.

You cup his cheek “hush” you smile softly before realizing he needs to shower “we can talk after you shower, I’ll leave” he grabs your wrist softly “you can stay. We can talk now. I mean if you’re not uncomfortable” he blushes at what could be implied. You know him better than that tho. “If you don’t mind.” You laugh and then sit up on the counter top next to the sink turning your head to look at your hands in your lap as he undressed.

Once he’s in the shower, the scent of his body soap fills the air, “remember that girl that liked you in high school?” He laughs “which one?” You scoff “lady killer over here.” You jest and then clear your throat “I mean the one during graduation” your voice was quieter when you asked, you thought that it was best to get this talk over with before you did any more kissing. The water shuts off and he grabs his towel, wrapping it around his waist before opening the shower curtain, you gasp at the sight of his bare chest and stomach, the way water was dripping down his shoulders, his hair stuck to his forehead and neck. You gulp and then sit up straighter and he closes the distance between you. “Come with me. I need something from my room if we’re going to finish this conversation.” He picks up his dirty clothing and his pajamas and you grab your clothes too, following him from the bathroom. You put your dirty clothes in your room before walking back to his, wringing your hands out the whole way. Nervous flittering in your belly. What could he possibly need in his room to be able to talk about that? You knock on the door softly and he opens it with a smile, now in sweats with the towel around his neck, his eyes looked anxious but excited. You raise your eyebrows as you enter, he clears his throat and closes the door, catching Kirishima giving him a thumbs up before it closes all the way. You let out a shocked laugh when he faces you again and you see what he’s holding “Is that my letter?”

#mha #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugou x you #bakugou katsuki fanfiction #bakugou x reader #bakugou x y/n #mha bakugou

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shinjukuspiritcommittee · 4 years ago

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Top 20 2021

My Favorites (updated)

Hello my readers, it’s been a while since I just posted something not related to a headcanon and I am doing one right now. I just wanted to take a bit of a break to just get SOMETHING on here on my days off work. Plus I’m just trying to find my groove when it comes to writing again so hopefully this helps me just get back into the mood of making a post more often lol. I wanted to revisit this topic for a while just because we’ve had a lot more events and a lot more alts in the game were added. And I know for a fact LifeWonders reads these posts in some capacity because I have meme’d an AR into the game with my top picks from the last list I did for Christmas 2019. No I didn’t. I’m just joking around and I know LifeWonders doesn’t read this.

Anyways rather than just make up a list on the spot like last year I decided to use the Housamo Sortmaker (Link: https://club.housamo.xyz/sortmaker/ ) to try and make a list that’s more revealing to what I was thinking at the time. Since I talked about 20 characters ish last time I’m just gonna read from my 20th place to my 1st place spots and try to justify whatever I was thinking at the time. Anyways-

20: Marchosias and Susan: This one was a surprise for me if I’m being honest but I’m just gonna blame the fact on Shukou’s recent involvement with LifeWonders in the form of Live A Hero and how Ryekie and Mokdai live in my headspace rent free whenever I think about the characters in that game. Maybe we can see about getting some LAH headcanons since that’s a LifeWonders property too). So out of all the characters Shukou drew for Housamo why did I pick Marchosias? Easy, it’s been 4 years and this poor man has yet to receive a proper alt or any kind of skin for that matter and I think that it’s a crime. Sure he’s not my favorite but he’s definitely grown on me because he’s just a gentle dad kind of character and his design has grown on me over the years. I just hope he doesn’t get left behind since he has a lot of really interesting and potential things to look forward to in the future given how the main story has unfolded.

19: Shiva/Algernon: The helmet heads are together because DAI XT quickly became my favorite artist for Fire Emblem Heroes and I really just like their designs. DAI XT just knows how to draw robots, armor and muscles well. Also Chapter 11 with Shiva you can read into some interesting perspectives. I don’t want to spoil any of the untranslated content for anyone who’s waiting for the official english translation. But if you are curious Roureem has a blogspot where he posts summaries of the newly released events.

Link: https://housamosummaries.blogspot.com/

18: Cthugha: I love this goober so much. He’d constantly try to act super sentai just trying say good morning everyday. He may not be very bright but that just adds to his charm and honestly I enjoy how he always tries to play the hero in a lot of scenarios because it’s refreshing when they implement him after a bunch of heavy hitting story stuff. I’m not gonna spoil too much about it but I will say he’s more than welcome after everything Chapter 10 and 11 put the reader through.

17: Mineaki: I’ve made a post about him being one of my least favorites way back when I first started this blog and let me just say how times have changed and I’ve learned the value of not judging a book by it’s cover. I still think there’s something a bit off about Kowmei’s style for his characters, but Mineaki has definitely grown on me. He’s a caring instructor who does watch out for his students even if it’s not always in the most direct way possible. Not to get into too many spoilers he’s got a lot of intrigue around him as well and I am curious to see his role get expanded down the line.

16: Ded: Housamo is the reason I really like christmas. The Christmas stories despite following a similar structure to each other do tend to be my favorite stories. Ded himself is also just another good dad character. He’s also two guys for the price of one, so I mean… you know… you’ve got the forever ask your other dad situation. There wasn’t much thought put into this choice I just like santa as a concept because I think the outfits are cute, it’s always nice to get something for people you care about on Christmas and Ded is the perfect embodiment of both sides to Christmas.

15: Shinya: Everyone we need to manifest buff Shinya for 2021, this is not a drill. This is legitimate. We must make Taromati’s and my wish come true. To be more serious again he’s just a sweet and gentle character. He’s also drawn by my favorite Housamo artist. Their characters always just look so naturally good. I’m just surprised he hasn’t gotten much of an alt given he’s perfect material for Valentine’s day. He’s just a soft boy and I would love for him to be in more things because I just enjoy seeing him.

14: Jacob: I have to be honest Jacob is on here because every time I look at him he just gets more handsome to me. I wasn’t all that impressed with his introduction and we don’t know much about his background but I’ve just been drawn to him more and more. Maybe it’s just because he’s drawn by GomTang? I just like looking at him and I can’t help it. To speak a bit less crass he’s another gentleman kind of guy and those are always nice.

13: Shennong: Yeah I like the doc a lot. Firstly, I’m a huge sucker for big bulls and Shennong fits the bill. The white fur really adds to his appeal visually and the purple horns give off a bit of an unnatural appearance. Shen feels like someone who’s been touch starved and alone for a long time given how he acts as a character and when we actually hug him I just lost it. He always has others well being on his mind so he’s not afraid to jump in and help, or give a much needed lecture about when you need to take better care of yourself. He just comes across as very well balanced overall.

12: Heracles: I won’t lie- at first he didn’t interest me much. He looked incredibly plain when among the rest of the cast and he seemed like the typical “bait” character since the banner had Echo, Barguest, Gyumao and Snow. But after reading the translation for Valentine Time Slip I was taken aback at how much of a gentle giant he turned out to be and I just really liked his interactions with the others in that event. And honestly his special quest from that year was one of the more unique ones given the slower pace and more romantic vibe it had. After the event warmed my heart I did a complete 180 and I just knew I really liked him.

11. Yasuyori: Before I start praising him I feel I have to justify why he didn’t quite make top 10 and it will have some mild Chapter 10 spoilers. To be as vague as possible his resolution just didn’t vibe with me at the end of Chapter 10. Like it wasn’t a bad resolution and it was the right choice to make but in my opinion there really wasn’t a moment I felt was clear where he made a choice for himself. Everything just sort of happened around him and it felt like he didn’t really do much to improve his situation. To an extent I kind of see that being the idea given his origins and the story he’s based on and there is some semblance of him coming to terms with himself alongside his isolation being portrayed pretty well, but I just wasn’t satisfied with it as much as I would like to be. With that out of the way, oh my god I just want this boy to never stop smiling and I just want to give him hugs constantly please he just deserves to be happy!!! Yasuyori is a character who’s got a lot of baggage and he’s just trying to find ways to properly cope with his trauma and not repeat past mistakes and I just really like that idea. His role in Xmas 2020 (sorry I just forgot the name of that event, but its when he gets his alt) was a much better representation for his character in my eyes. I’m not gonna spoil anything like I keep saying but he isn’t one to disappoint in future appearances and I just hope this lovable lug keeps getting the support he deserves.

10: Hephaestus: A spicy way to start the latter half of the list. I just want to give this lad a hug and tell him he is worthy of love. But at the same time he is a little shit… and I love that. I can’t fully explain why I grow a paternal instinct in me seeing this grown man sob about his mother but I just do. I want to keep him safe and give him all the affection he wants. Though I am aware a lot of Hephaestus’s interest in his parental figure is… questionable. I am just gonna say I would accept his love for what it is and he just wants approval.

9. Shuten: I’ll be honest I have no proper reason for why I like Shuten so much. He’s just a cool and reliable guy. He just seems like a go with the flow kind of person most of the time and he’s a bit more direct than most of the characters which I always appreciate. Plus I have an unspoken bias for naop guys in Housamo.

8. Durga: While not number 1 on this list, I still really like Durga. She’s quirky but not to an annoying degree, she’s determined and definitely very confident in her own abilities. Her growing to be more sociable throughout her events is something I enjoy seeing because it really creates this sense of growth.

7. Kyuma: I get a lot of people don’t like Kowmei’s art but I really think we should look past it because Kyuma is one of the sweeter picks. He’s someone who just wants to prove himself for his own worth and not what David can provide, but David is part of him and it just creates the potential for a good arc. Plus this boy is unintentionally smooth and will just take your heart when possible. I honestly want to see Kyuma more in events because he’s honestly the jock that carries 3 of the 4 brain cells. He’s also the last one without an alt so I’m just hoping he gets one in 2021 because he really deserves one in my opinion. (Also fan art makes him really cute).

6. Tomte: Tomte is relatively new but honestly his event in 2019 really endeared me to him. I’m trying to be spoiler free because the best way to enjoy these stories is for yourselves but let me just say his arc in the event was really endearing to me and much more than I was expecting. His fan service is also incredibly hammy and I love it. Visually Tomte is one of my favorites, I love his multi colored hair and starlit pupils cuz it makes his otherwise more generic look have some flare. I knew I liked him out the box and when I read about him in the summaries and can’t wait to read the official translation for him. I was just very endeared.

5. Tetsuya: Tetsuya fucks. Moving on…

Jokes aside this one’s a bit simple. I have no shame in admitting I think he’s attractive and his whole resistance towards wanting a relationship is cute in a weird roundabout way. When he says no I just want it MORE. I just really like duo haired tsunderes.

4. Kengo: Kengo 3rd alt 2021. Please LifeWonders I need my favorite Summoner. He’s a bro and that’s what counts. Kengo has got your back, not afraid to rely on you, a very fun and dynamic guy. Sure he’s not that bright when it comes to making plans or any book smart, but there are times where he’s the best at being able to read the room or just understand what someone needs to hear even if it isn’t always what someone wants to hear. His bullheaded nature is actually one of his redeeming qualities because it’s nice to just not overcomplicate things and just understand what’s actually going on. Yes the early story didn’t do many favors for him but to me the events, especially the later ones, do much more work for his character. To me, at least.

3. Ashigara: Ashigara is best bear, and I will defend that stance in 2021. The main thing that draws me to Ashigara is that I can see a bit of myself in him. He gets very emotional when he gets left alone, he’s very loud when with his friends, has a tendency of speaking his mind- just someone who wears his heart on his sleeve. I also appreciate that in spite of the negative he isn’t someone who backs down when the going gets tough and in a few instances he’s able to hold his ground physically at least.

2. Wakan Tanka: Love at first sight. This ray of sunshine still persists as the number 1 husband, but number 2 character. Firstly I am a huge fan of the partial beast aesthetic. The buffalo ears and the horns are absolutely adorable. Secondly he’s a perfect body type; he’s not too muscular but not exactly flabby. Third he is just so positive and I love that. He’s someone I admire and wanna hug.

1. Taurus Mask: The more things change the more they stay the same. I’m still a big Taurus Mask fan for all the same reasons as last time. I just… relate to this boy. He is an incredibly shy boy who uses his public persona for confidence. Maybe I’m reading too much into it but it’s like we’re soul bros!

So yeah, my tastes haven’t changed in a year and a half.

#tokyo afterschool summoners #housamo #Just Thoughts #qna #sfw

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zpetlovesglitter · 4 years ago

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The Wicked Powers Theories

The Wicked Powers has recently been getting me excited WAY too much - which says a lot about how weird I am since Cassie hasn’t even started on it yet (LOL).

aND, so, I kind of thought it’d be nice to jot down some predictions and theories on how the series might go and maybe some thoughts on THE SHIPS (that really do be the real TEA).

So.Here we go.And do let me know about any thoughts you have on this topic as well - I read anything about TWP like a crazed creature these days istg.

1)The POV has already been envisioned to be from Ty, Dru and Kit. I absolutely love this settlement since they are all very intriguing characters. Ty is an interesting person and his actions are always unpredictable, so we might enjoy this one. And,I believe he is at The Scholomance while the story progresses, followed by Livvy (Ghost Livvy, I mean).It’s still unclear what Livvy’s situation is, so I can’t wait to know more about that - it’s bound to be something unexpected. And, as for Dru, it’s kinda obvious. We all know that WE HAVE A LOVE TRIANGLE COMING UP. But, other than that, we also know she attends The Academy and finally starts to makes some friends and even has that really close Italian (..or was it Spanish???) Shadowhunter friend who’s her age and Cassie also revealed that the two are really tight indeed. And I will be honing in on the Love Triangle soon - I told you I’ll be trying to spill whatever tea I’m guessing at. And, as for the last character WE HAVE KIT! OMFG YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE OLDER BROTHER KIT.LIKE GOSH DARN IT HE IS SO ADORABLE AND MINA IS SO EFFING CUTE I CAN’T EVEN- AND KIT’S TRAINING WITH JEM AND HE IS GOING TO BE A WELL-TRAINED SHADOWHUNTER IN TWP, SO YAYYYY!! And, I absolutely CANNOT wait for MinaXKit interactions, they are the cutest siblings ever and I absolutely know that Mina grows up to be sarcastic. I can’t wait for the possible sarcastic arguments between Kit and 4-year old Mina. YOU THINK I FORGOT ABOUT KITxTY? NOPE.THE REAL SHET’S COMING UP.

2)Now,we know that the storyline is going to have something to do with that Faerie Heirloom that was from the Rosales Family. And, Cassie also said it was going to be kind of an Arthurian Legend-ish story. If you don’t know the Arthurian Legend, I suggest you read on it. I’m not sure if Cassie meant the characters and LOVE Aspect of it or the LEGEND aspect of it as in the stuff about Excalibur and all. But, for now we’ll view it in both and examine it, shall we?

King Arthur's reign ends after his wife and best knight have an affair.

This is the drama in the legend.But, there are no relationships with the MCs yet. So idk. I’m clueless. Like, maybe Dru has a relationship?? Okay I’m clutching at practically nothingness so don’t judge me. :/

So,it’s obviously something to do with the LEGEND.

I am afraid I cannot say too much about it, since I have never read too deeply about it. But, here’s some of the basics:

-He managed to pull out Excalibur from the rock it was stuck in.

-He wielded Excalibur for the people and not for his own self-interest.

-He gets help from a wizard named Merlin.

-The peeps go on a quest.

And I have this reference from a website..I’ll hit u with the link as well, if you’d like to read more on it like I did

Arthurian legend, the body of stories and medieval romances, known as the matter of Britain, centring on the legendary king Arthur. Medieval writers, especially the French, variously treated stories of Arthur’s birth, the adventures of his knights, and the adulterous love between his knight Sir Lancelot and his queen, Guinevere. This last situation and the quest for the Holy Grail (the vessel used by Christ at the Last Supper and given to Joseph of Arimathea) brought about the dissolution of the knightly fellowship, the death of Arthur, and the destruction of his kingdom.

(I’ve linked it with the text above.)

So,now I thought this was interesting- the destruction part. After all, it’s something I’m expecting about the Shadowhunters. Will the Clave maybe be destroyed? Or maybe Faerie will be destroyed? So,there were three things that brought on this uh Destruction.FIRST, his wife and his best buddy were going behind his back and doing them lovey-dovey stuff. And they all go on some quest to retrieve something important to them. So, this sounds like something plausible to be the plot of TWP. Maybe the Heirloom’s missing? And who goes on the quest though? Maybe they venture through Faerie? BLAH MY HEAD HURTS SOME THINGS ARE BETTER TO BE SURPRISED WITH ;)

-----I kinda scrolled back up while writing about Janus down there and remembered CLARY MIGHT BE TAKEN HOSTAGE LIKE YESS AND THEY GO FIND HER MAYBE?

3)We will defo see Christina, Mark and Kieran at some point- no worries, Emma and Julian too. Happy Couples! XD

4)So,then we can look forward to Dru and Jaime’s interactions. I am absolutely excited for this the most, as a shipper of the two. If you remember, we saw Jaime ignoring her for a while back there at the end of QOAAD and then he says “See ya at the Academy soon ig”. I really do hope they meet and hang out as friends, at least. I am excited to see what kind of trope it’s gonna be tho. Like, do they ignore each other and remain awkward until they start the adventure stuff in the book where they eventually have to talk to each other after years or smth. Or, maybe they’re really good friends rn. But, what I’ll warn y’all shippers is that they might not end up together, and could wind up as brother-sister-ish kind of best buddies. Which is equally cute a relationship imo. It’s a really sweet thing to be, really. I lowkey hope Cassie spins something beautiful for their relationship like a sibling-like best friends kind of thing. But, I feel like they might have feelings for each other in secret. Or maybe they date. Or maybe they suppress their secret-feelings for the sake of friendship later on in the book and end up having that really sweet friendship I was talking about.There are SO many options and that is precisely why I am so freaking excited.

5)JAIME ROCIO ROSALES. Like, I have this gut feeling that he might end up being my fave male protagonist character in TSC. He’s got it ALL. Like, the sense of humour, the looks, the bubbly yet brooding personality, the quirks and OFC THE FRICKING NAME ITSELF IS CUTE AF LIKE BRUH I CANNOT WAIT TO READ ABOUT HIM.I have so much to say about Jaime but I’d rather we let ourselves simply wait for the crumbs Cassie might give us or maybe reread all his parts in TDA like I do everyday or just wait for the book to come out rather than simp for someone we know nothing about yet....

6)Ash Morgenstern. He’s a cute lil bean. That was random and untrue lmao. He’s not a ‘lil bean’. He’s totally badass with dem wings and all, but we know he’s soft inside for Janus and ofc Dru, I believe. I find him the most intriguing character, honestly. I would love to know what goes through his head. He’s actually, like, the one character in TSC that I don’t have all figured out. He gon surprise us all for sure tho. He is awesome. That’s all I have to say for now. And he looks up to Janus which is SO GODDAMN SWEET AHHHH. And THE WINGS I CANNOT WAIT TO READ MORE ABOUT THE WINGS IT SOUNDED SO BADASS ISTG I LITERALLY CANNOT WAIT GOSH DARN IT. But he really do be a cute lil bean lowkey tho.

7)Kit and Ty LOL. I have no words really. But lemme tell you how it might go. There is definitely going to be some kind of reunion. AND THEN THAT’S WHERE IT GETS CUTE. They could either be awkward and we know what tension that gets us-perhaps some whisperings of My Watson...(? ;) and maybe they go all sad and brooding with dem looks later OR, they could be the sweetie-pies they were before and be happy and all HIII BUDDDYYYY MISSED YAAA LESS GO BE DETECTIVES YAY BURN IT UP MAH BUDDY!! Either way it’s going to be cute af and we know it . TRUST IN CASSIE Y’ALL.I trust Cassie to let this ship sail the seven seas and seven more like it deserves.

8)Ash and Dru So, Ash has a strange lil fixation on Dru and I believe he even thought she was ‘pretty’ or something. It was definitely a good adjective, but I think he said ‘pretty’. idk but we know he likes her. and I can imagine a nice relationship. I can picture them with her hair flying in the wind and they meet for the first time or smth. IHNI WHAT IM SAYING. But, there will be DRAMA. They are going to be real cute with each other YOU CAN BET ON THAT.And, by cute I do not necessarily mean ‘Oh, you have the loveliest eyes’ or some shet like that. I have a feeling it’s going to be a case of ‘Well,that’s not weird or anything YOU WEIRDO - NO U - NO U - NO U’ However this relationship is going to go, I know that it’ll be a sweet one.And, for all you shippers of these two, I have no assurances that HE IS THE ONE or anything but he is definitely a candidate. Jaime is going to be some competition I can tell. So, idk. It depends on the Jaime x Dru ship to decide things for Ash x Dru ship imo, since it might be a no-brainer if the two have feelings for each other- I mean,Jaime is an actually perfect love interest in TSC, while Ash is strong potential Best-Friend material, so it’s ONLY if Jaime and Dru don’t like each other that way that Ash could make it as a love interest. So, if y’all wanna find out what’s in it for you guys, ask Cassie maybe about how the Jaime x Dru ship might go, the next time u wanna ask her ;)

9)Tavvy and maybe the kid Helen and Aline might have had We were getting hints of another baby, so HERE WE GO.Tavvy might have a playmate. :D. YAYYYYYYYYYY

10)Janus I’m honestly worried about him. He is a worrisome character. I hate empathising with the antagonist, personally. AAAAHHHH . I hope we see some character development in him. I really don’t want to see him as an antagonist in the story. He’s sweet and feels cheated, but he should realise that it ain’t Jace’s fault but SEBASTIAN’S fault. I would like for him to make amends with Jace :( And, also, he might get the story started in TWP tho idk. But, seriously tho, when he went home in that short story and Ash asked, “I thought you were gone forever?” or something of that sort and he shook his head sadly and Ash went soft for him. Like, that fricking broke my heart. I love this relationship tho. And, i hope Clary and him can be good friends. But, I feel like he might end up dying to save her or smth and make us all cry . T_T

11)WHAT TF IS GOING ON WITH THE SHADOWHUNTER POLITICS RN THO?HOW AND WHERE ARE THEY ALL SURVIVING TOGETHER WHAT IS THEIR SYSTEM AND STUFF THIS IS NOT A POINT WITH POTENTIAL THEORIES COZ HONESTLY I WANT TO BE SURPRISED BUT I THINK THEY MIGHT ALL JUST BE IN HIDING AND THEN IN TWP THEY MIGHT HAVE TO COME OUT FOR A QUEST OR SMTH AND WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE SHADOWHUNTERS AT THE CLIMAX OF THIS WHOLE SERIES??? IT IS THE END OF TSC SO IM SCARED AND KINDA SAD TOO :(((((((

12)Thule We might learn more about the Thule world and maybe they restore it or maybe the Quest is in Thule. idk. we don’t know much, but Thule will most probably be explored a lot. Cassie wouldn’t have opened up Thule for no reason.

13)Zara and Emma Showdown? Befriend e/o ? What’s in store for these two? If it’s a showdown we get to see CORTANA YAY I AM OBSESSED WITH CORTANA NOW BECAUSE OF CORDELIA AND HER OBSESSION GOSH DARN IT WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME

14)BIG WAR I see a huge war coming I just know it. It’s a climax so there MUST be a big war and so I cannot wait! Feel like there’s gonna be some deaths as well. Lowkey feel like Jia might die. I can feel it. :(

15)The best-friend shadowhunter of Dru is a nice thing to look forward to! I can’t wait to read about the two! And I love the fact that Dru is finally exposed to new people. And, for anyone who’s confused as to how she goes to the Academy, in QOAAD she only said she’ll have some maturity done AFTER some years . Those years are over and she at the Academy now hecc yeah I BELIEVE THE BFF IS CALLED THAI AND SHE’S FROM THE SPANISH INSTITUTE CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG???

16)Magnus Bane He is literally everywhere. He gon be here too. No worries for all the Magnus Bane stans. He’ll make it here without a doubt! Good for you :). and the entire community of shadowhunters they literally always need him 17)THE MAIN MAIN PLOT THE SHADOWHUNTERS SHOWDOWN IS OBVIOUSLY GOING TO ALSO BE RELATED TO THE PRINCES OF HELL COMING TOGETHER AND I AM TOO SCARED TO LOOK TOO INTO IT BUT WE KNOW SHIZ COMING GNJODIFPEDWEFHUGBJ VM

18)THIS IS KINDA RANDOM BUT I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE SELF-ESTEEM GROWTH IN DRU LIKE PLEASE SHE QUEEN MWAH

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paranetics · 4 years ago

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hiya could you do a kiadam for 17. and 22.? if your not too busy. thanks !!

17. “Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…” 22. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

He’s completely minding his own business, being friendly with his physics textbook, all pressed up against the end of the bookshelf in the library, successfully having a love affair with headache-inducing math equations, when Mira ambushes him.

“Hiya,” she says, suddenly right in his face.

“Aisghls!” he gurgles, in a completely manly way, thank you. She sits back on her heels and laughs at him, loud and mocking. He scowls at her.

Her braces are blue now, matching the streaks in her hair. She looks nice, he decides, all neon green and blue. The loudness of her wardrobe suits her -- she’d be strange to him if she ever tried to tone it down.

“Oh, man, you should’ve seen your face.”

“Fuck you,” Kai snaps, smoothing out the pages of his book. “I am busy learning how to destroy the AP Phys exam. Stop being a distraction.”

She pouts at him. “Come on, you're seriously not still mad at me about the ceramic pig.”

“I’m always going to be mad at you about the ceramic pig,” he says primly. Then he sighs, unable to resist. “What’s up?”

Her smile turns bright, and his heart does that familiar little stutter. Kai has always, always loved her. Sure, she’s Adam’s best friend and has inclinations more Reeve-based, but there’s always going to be something about her that just catches him in the right spot. He’s over it now, and he has erm, other areas of interest, but she’ll always be special.

“Nessa’s having a party--”

“Ugh,” Kai interrupts.

“--with alcohol--”

“Double ugh.”

“And cute boys will be there,” Mira wheedles, whipping out her best puppy-eyes.

“I don’t care,” Kai says, shuffling away from her and looking back at his textbook. The particles will... he reads.

“Adam will be there,” she tries. Obvious trump card. Goddammit.

He cuts his eyes toward her, calculating. She’s grinning, triumphant, confident that she’s got him. He groans internally, because it’s either that he goes to this party and enjoys at least twelve percent of it, or Mira and Adam will wake him up from a dead sleep sometime in the AM, drunk and needy.

Part of his resistance is a lie, he always likes parties. He doesn’t like Vanessa, but she’s Reeve’s friend, and by proxy, Mira’s friend. He can pretend to like her for one night, especially if he gets to hang out with people. What can he say, extroversion. It’s a disease.

It’s just, recently, there’s been this trend. It’s like he’s been cursed.

Kai pretends to think about it.

“Fine,” he grits out.

“Yay!” Mira says, standing up and doing a little celebratory wiggle. She pulls her phone out of her pocket and unlocks it. “I’ll add you to the group text. Also, I want Reeve to drive me so you’re taking Adam alone okay bye.”

“Huh,” Kai says as she speed-walks away from him. “What? Hey!”

But she’s gone, vaguely eucalyptus-scented-shampoo left in her wake. Alone? With Adam? Fuck.

His phone buzzes.

Group: party 🎉🥂🥳🎊 time

mirakat added humantorchkai to the group

abeaverdam: Oh he’s coming?

lochnessa: Damn I didn’t know he left his house anymore

mirakat: ya i cornered his ass in th library

mirakat: hes a total slut 4 skool

mirakat: kais my bitch tho lol so ya hes comin

mirakat: dam hes drivin u

abeaverdam: Is that ok kai?

humantorchkai: yeah

humantorchkai: when?

lochnessa: Friday.

Kai’s late to first period on Wednesday, which Reeve notices, and bugs him about for ten minutes straight. He rolls in twenty minutes after the bell, wearing the clothes he left on his bedroom floor, all rumpled up and disorganized, and without a note. He drops into his seat and makes it approximately two minutes before Reeve leans over, into his space, and starts the interrogation.

“Oh my God,” Kai says to the ceiling. “For the last time, my alarm didn’t go off.”

“My Spidey-senses tell me you’re a liar,” Reeve says, and seriously, what does Mira see in this complete dork? He’s so nosy.

Kai drags his gaze from the ceiling to stare at him. “I think your janky-ass ‘spider-sense’ needs a psych eval.”

Reeve crosses his arms and sniffs at him. “Rude. I thought we were friends.”

“We are--” Kai scrubs his hands through his hair violently, frustrated. He catches the smirk on Reeve’s face. “Hey! That doesn’t work on me anymore. I’ve evolved.”

The smirk doesn’t leave Reeve’s face.

The truth is, Kai’s late because he had a nightmare. Or a wet dream. Depends on your definition of either thing. It’s been reoccurring pretty consistently, and Kai always wakes up from it breathing hard, adrenaline in his veins, and a hard-on. Today just happened to be shittier, and he couldn’t get back to sleep right away, so he overslept when his alarm went off.

It’s pretty much the worst, been happening for almost a month, and Kai is slowly losing his mind. But. whatever, the important part is this: he’s with Adam, and Adam kisses him. They could be in space, or in a submarine, or whatever Kai’s subconscious feels like cooking up. They could be anything, pirates, elven rebel warriors, it doesn't matter. In every dream, Kai’s with Adam, and at some point Adam leans over, the smell of Hennessy whiskey on his breath, and kisses Kai.

It’s why Kai’s been so rigid lately, avoiding his friends and refusing to go to parties, because of what happened Last Time he’d gone.

Mad Libs! Fill in the blanks, Sherlock.

He’s so totally, totally, totally screwed. And no one is allowed to know, not even Reeve, who knows Adam’s a flirty drunk and that Kai’s pathetic, and hasn’t even told anyone any of Kai’s other secrets, because this? This is world-ending levels of FUCK.

So, when the bell rings, Kai basically sprints out the door to avoid Reeve.

Group: party 🎉🥂🥳🎊 time

speedyskeet: should i bring da weed

reever: ohhh shiiiit hell yeah

lochnessa: No LSD though

speedyskeet: :O

speedyskeet: um ok MOM

reever: wtf ness

reever: psychedelic rights!!!

speedyskeet: let me get us fkd up!!

mirakat: wait didnt we hav 2 call an ambulance 4 coop last time u brought more than weed to a party

mirakat: or was tht a different school

speedyskeet: .........

speedyskeet: ok so im assuming edibles and my bong right

Kai takes his lunch to Mr Tucker’s room.

Mr Tucker is the APUS history teacher for the senior class, and he is the only non-STEM teacher that Kai likes. Mira is also his favorite student, so he lets them eat lunch in his room. It’s better than fighting for a spot in the crowded cafeteria, and Kai likes hiding from the rest of the student body.

Adam, Reeve, and Mira are sitting at one of the table groups when Kai walks in with his plate of chicken nuggets, Vanessa and Skeet nowhere to be seen. They’re probably getting high in the parking lot.

Mr Tucker is scrolling through youtube, his computer desktop displayed on the projector screen.

“Why’d you look up Nyan cat?” Kai asks, tilting his head as he watches Mr Tucker scroll.

“It’s stuck in his head,” Mira pipes up, helpfully.

Mr Tucker grunts confirmation and apparently selects the version he likes. Reeve groans when it starts playing, slumping forward over his tuna salad. Mr Tucker picks up his normal vegetable-based salad, his bushy mustache wiggling in that way that means he’s smiling.

Kai sits next to Reeve, across from Adam. Mistake, Kai realizes too late. Big mistake. Because now they have to make eye contact, and Kai’s belly catches fire at the memory of drunkAdamhe’sKISSINGMESOMEONEHELP when he looks down at his plate of chicken nuggets. It’ll be obvious on his face in a few moments, he’s never been able to fight off a blush well, and then there’s going to be Questions. Capital-Q Questions.

But Reeve’s talking about, like, whatever drama majors talk about, and when Kai chances a peek up, Adam’s not looking at him. So.

Kai can’t help it, okay? He’s creepy. Sue him. No wait, that’s not-- ugh.

Kai studies the contours of Adam’s face while he’s not looking. His high cheekbones and his sharp chin. His heavy eyebrows that are shaped perfectly (”Ugh, you’re so fucking gross,” Reeve had said when Kai had voiced this thought aloud. “His eyebrows? I think you need to ask him out. Get it out of your system.”) and his eyes are that warm shade of brown, almost gold, soft and kind.

His hair is longer now, and errant curls flop over his forehead and around his ears. Kai watches the long line of Adam’s throat when he tilts his head back from the force of laughing at something Reeve said. Kai’s transfixed by the inviting stretch of dark skin, entertaining a thought of leaning over and just biting down so it’s not his fault he doesn’t see it coming when Reeve violently jabs him in the rib.

Kai jumps. “Ah! What the fuck?”

“Language,” Mr Tucker says in the toneless inflection of someone who doesn’t really care but responds on reflex. He’s now scrolling through Seasame Street videos.

Reeve shrugs, unrepentant. “You were gone there, dude.”

“Yeah,” Adam agrees, eyebrows raised in polite curiosity. “Planet Zenon gone.”

Kai ducks his head. “I’m, uh, stressed about AP physics?” he tries.

“Uh-huh,” Reeve says, “and are you asking us to confirm that for you?”

“Leave him alone,” Mira interrupts mildly. “Only, like, a hundred people a year get above a three on that exam.”

“Wow, how is that class still funded?” Adam asks.

“Elitism?” Mira guesses. “Maybe it’s like, a torture thing. Like, a test within a test.”

“What,” Reeve says, “like, if you pass you can become a super-secret spy?”

“Or I can, like, do another Chernobyl. Or I’m allowed secret access to government secrets. Ooh, maybe they’ll tell me the moon is a projection into the sky.” Kai says, warming to this idea.

“Then how would they explain waves?” Reeve asks.

“Uh, giant wave pool,” Kai answers.

“Hot take: the world is in a giant wave pool,” Mira grins at him.

Adam blinks almost in slow-motion, the sweep of his eyelashes against his cheeks, a smile growing on his face, and Kai is once again caught like a fly in honey. Just like that, all the saliva is gone from Kai’s mouth, and he’s completely lost the thread of whatever’s happening around him.

Okay, so, recap: totally, totally, totally screwed.

adam: U sure you’re ok driving me?

kai: dam i swear its fine

kai: i’d say something if it was a problem

kai: my parents have been trying to kick me out basically every weekend, this’ll make them so fucking happy

adam: Lol

adam: [A stock photo of two white parents sitting on a beach towel in a tropical location, smiling adoringly at each other. In the blurry background, a toddler with similar skin color and hair is being attacked by a seagull.]

“There is a PROBLEM!” Kai announces, flopping heavily onto his bed, tossing an arm dramatically over his forehead. Mira doesn’t even look up at him.

“Hm?” she says from the floor, knees drawn up to her chest, eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration. She’s looking more at her iPad than at him.

“Oh my God,” Kai groans. “You don’t even care. I’m nothing to you. You enjoy my suffering.”

“Die white man,” Mira says tonelessly. “I’m trying to beat my old high score in Tetris. What’s your damage.”

“I have nothing to wear on Friday,” Kai moans, pained.

“What? Why do you even care? Your regular clothes are fine.”

“Oh my God, Mira! It’s a party,” Kai breathes the word like its holy, a precious thing nestled in the crook of his tongue, not to be defiled by people who wear school clothes to special events. “And I want to get hit on.”

“I’ll hit on you,” Mira promises. The iPad makes a wah-wah-wah sound. She sighs, setting it aside and looking up at him, expression thoroughly unamused, clearly blaming him for her high-score loss.

“I did not do that,” Kai says. The blood’s started rushing to his head, so he sits up and blinks away the black spots as they dance in front of his vision. “I just wanna be hot,” he whines.

“Okay, so, wear that stupid blue button-up with the tigers on it, and the black skinny jeans. It brings out your eyes,” she elaborates. “And tucked-in button-ups are hot on dudes. Oh, and--”

“If you’re gonna Queer Eye me, I swear to God,” Kai complains.

“Will you just... I was gonna say you should wear a tiny bit of eyeliner. It’s like, accentuating your features or some shit.”

“Why should I trust you?” Kai asks playfully. “I’ve never seen you go anywhere near a make-up in my life.”

Mira shrugs. “I saw it on Instagram. Anyways, Reeve said I have ‘good bone structure’, what does that even mean?”

“That he’s an idiot and I can’t believe you’re into him?” Kai ventures. Mira glares at him, so Kai leans back on the bed, rolling his eyes up to the bedroom ceiling at the glow-in-the-dark stick-on stars that have been there since he was seven. “Okay, okay. He was probably trying to compliment you, but since he’s a robot sent by aliens to infiltrate the earth he did it in a really bizarre way.”

Mira perks up. “You think?”

“He said ‘good’.”

“What should I say back?”

“Erm, that you’ll have his babies?”

Mira throws one of her glittery highlighter pens at him. It bounces off the center of his forehead and onto his lap. He laughs, picking it up and tossing it back.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “Maybe say that you like his bones, too.”

Mira takes out her phone.

adam: [A picture of a pina colada sitting on a kitchen counter in a pool of sunlight.]

adam: Winky face

kai: you could just like, use the emoji keyboard instead of typing it out

adam: Don’t make me frowny face

Kai spends fifteen minutes messing with his hair in the mirror. He gels it sticking up, twists his mouth critically at his reflection, and wets his hands to wipe it out. Nothing’s working for him today. It’s just one of those things, his clothes seem to hang off him awkwardly, and nothing looks right.

He makes a sound of frustration, and his mom pokes her head into the bathroom.

“Oh,” she says. “I thought you were going to a party?”

“Mom,” he growls. “I’m getting ready!”

“Hm.”

She pushes the door all the way open, surveys him from head to toe, and reaches over to run a hand through his hair, leaving parts sticking up in her wake. Kai looks in the mirror. Now, instead of awkward ‘trying-too-hard’, he looks artfully tousled. He unbuttons two top buttons of his tiger shirt, and messes with the collar to make it look like someone had grabbed it and reeled him in for a kiss. He grins at himself.

“That’s better, I think,” she says.

“Thanks Mom,” he says, shuffling past her and out to the hallway.

“Limit yourself to three drinks!” she calls as he stuffs his feet into old converse. “If you get too intoxicated to drive, spend the night! Just text! Don’t forget to wear condoms and--”

Kai shuts the door in her face.

His car is a silver Prius, owned five times prior to him. The interior always smells a little bit like shamrock shake and in the winter requires a prayer and three engine turnovers to start. Kai loves it.

He pulls up to Adam’s street and texts without looking that he’s close. He parks in the street, and jogs up to Adam’s front door. He raps his knuckles on Adam’s door, the red one with caterpillar decals, and a blue handprint on the doorknob.

Adam throws open the door. “Gimme a sec, gotta grab my jacket.”

He’s wearing a white shirt and Kai’s favorite jeans of his (do Not judge him, okay, liking your crush’s ass is basically a given and is no longer considered a sin under the New Testament, so really Kai’s not weird for liking this pair of Adam’s jeans because it accentuates his butt.), the ones with rips in the thigh and at both knees, because Adam lives reckless and dies reckless.

He jams his feet into vans and grabs the heavy olive jacket off the coatrack and follows Kai out to the Prius.

“You look nice,” Adam says, offhand. Kai feels how hot his face immediately gets and hopes it isn’t ugly, sometimes his blushes look like a rash.

“Thanks,” he says, rubbing his neck, right hand fumbling for his keys.

They slide into their seats, and Kai is hit with the violent-sense memory of Hennesy whiskey, and dark streetlamps, and Adam’s soft voice and brown puppy-dog eyes imploring Kai, look at me. Look at me, please. And. And.

His phone buzzes.

“Oh, Vanessa wants us to pick up some soda,” Kai says through the rock in his throat.

“Ooh, ooh. Cherry 7-Up, Jarritos Lime, uh like, a ton of Mountain Dew... and Coke! We’ll need Coke,” Adam rambles as Kai pulls away from the street and heads toward the local general store.

mira: WHERE

mira: R

mira: U

mira: 2

mira: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kai frowns at his phone. They’re in the check-out line, waiting for their turn with about three tons of soda on the conveyer. Kai’s got a fifty dollar bill from his parents, because they’re stupidly open-minded, but he’s still gonna make Vanessa pay him back. Adam’s inspecting the tabloids, making comments about all of the covers and whatever he thinks about them.

kai: WE’RE

kai: FUCKING

(Not sent !) kai: GETTING

(Not sent !) kai: DRINKS

mira: FUHDUK WHATTTT!!!?????????

Kai groans.

The party’s already alive by the time Adam and Kai get there, music thrumming against the walls of the house, the glass panes of the windows shaking with the vibrations. Weighed down by plastic bags full of drinks, and a little bit anxious, Kai fumbles with the door handle three times until Adam reaches over him and opens it.

The crowd is huge. He didn’t even know that Vanessa and Skeet knew this many people. There’s a wall of heat that hits them when they step inside, the difference between the inside and outside must be a solid ten degrees. Most people are crammed in the living room, near the speakers, where a sort of impromptu dancefloor has evolved. There are plenty of people lining the hallways, sitting on the stairs, and spilling over into the other places of the house.

Vanessa has changed the lightbulbs to fuschia, cobalt, and teal colors, so the house looks almost like a club from a TV show. There’s this haze over everything - and, yep, definitely Skeet’s weed - that makes it seem smoky and mysterious. Adam kicks the door shut behind them as they begin to navigate the crowd.

Skeet’s leaning against one of the walls, talking to a tiny girl with piercings and too much eyeliner. She tosses her head, her hair flying up like a halo for a moment, luminescent in the multicolored lights of the house, and leans closer to Skeet. She’s holding a red solo cup, Skeet’s holding weed, and Kai’s arms are starting to hurt from all the soda.

“So, your, like, real name is Skeet? What kind of name is that? I mean, like, who does that to their kid?” she’s asking, valley girl accent and everything, even twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

Skeet shrugs, unbothered. “My parents are hippies.” he spots them, then, and lifts his joint in a get over here gesture. Kai and Adam shove some people to stand in front of him. He grins. “Oh, dudes, nice. You got drinks. I wasn’t sure if you would, since Mira told us that you, uh, made a pit stop.” he waggles his eyebrows.

Kai groans, flushing.

“Uh, yeah,” Adam says, lifting up his bags. “for drinks? Hello?”

Skeet leers, grin stretching bigger. Kai scowls. He’s going to eat her one day, all Hannibal-Lecter style.

“Where is Mira, anyway?” he cuts in before Skeet says anything weird. “Where should we put the drinks?”

“Oh, just, you know,” Skeet makes a vague gesture with his hand that doesn’t really mean anything. “I think I saw her in the kitchen?”

“Thanks,” Kai mutters, shoving through the crowd and deeper into the house.

Mira and Vanessa are leaning against the sink, Reeve’s standing at the counter, completely covered in bottles of alcohol, thumb and forefinger at his chin like he’s surveying fine art.

“Oh! You made it! I hate vodka without coke,” Mira says, striding forward and grabbing the bags from Adam.

Kai followers her back to the counter, and shoves the receipt into Vanessa’s limp hands without looking at her. Together, Kai and Mira start to set up the drink line, stacking up all the empty red cups at the edge of the counter as they try to make sure all the soda and alcohol are equally accessible. How Skeet even gets this stuff... he shudders to think.

Kai waits until Adam and Reeve have wandered out of earshot to lean into Mira’s space. Vanessa had vacated the premise the moment it looked like any physical work would be happening, so he doesn’t worry about her particular brand of nosiness. He takes his phone out of his pocket and tilts the screen so she can see it.

“My texts didn’t send,” he tells her in a low voice. “We weren’t actually, you know.” he flushes violently.

Mira shoots him a grin. “No, I guessed that something had happened. It was just funny. You look nice.”

He smiles at her, genuinely, which means his gums are probably showing. She looks nice too, in her little black dress with a flared skirt and combat boots. The neon green streaks in her hair glow in the weird light of the house.

“I like your outfit,” he says. The din in the background is starting to grow. More people have probably showed up.

She nods at his jeans. “Cuffed jeans. The true mark of a bisexual.”

Kai nods very seriously. “I can’t leave my house without announcing every aspect of my sexuality to the entire world.”

Adam’s talking to a group of people at the other end of the kitchen, his smile is blindly white in the pink light, skin pitched a shade darker, a stark difference against the glow of his white shirt. Staring, unable to look away, Kai steals Mira’s cup and takes a swig. It’s straight vodka, so Kai coughs immediately when it hits his tongue.

Mira laughs at him.

Group: party 🎉🥂🥳🎊 time

speedyskeet: do any of u know anyone named travis montery

mirakat: no

lochnessa: No

abeaverdam: Nope!

humantorchkai: no

reever: nah

speedyskeet: fucking L lmao

speedyskeet: im kicking this fool out then

Kai’s wandering around, pleasantly buzzed from two Cherry 7-Ups with a tiny bit of vodka, looking for any familiar face. Mira and Reeve had abandoned him pretty much straight away, he’d left Adam alone in the kitchen, and he’s actively avoiding Vanessa.

He stumbles around, moving his shoulders a bit in time with the music, his body gone languid and loose from the heat and the alcohol and the atmosphere.

His phone beeps at him again. He really hopes it's not Skeet checking with them before he bounces a guy again. It’s just Mira, he sees, when he’s fumbled his phone out of his back pocket. He has to squint to read in the pink light amid the thrumming bodies of people all around him.

Eventually, he escapes the crowd and heads down the stairs to the “game room” and finds another living room, with a soft white carpet and a couch in front of a big flatscreen. There’s a group of about a dozen kids, plus Kai’s friends, sitting on the carpet in a circle by the couch, with a beer bottle laying on a Monopoly game board. Kai blinks, the lights here aren’t fun colors, and everyone in the circle raises their arms and cheers when they see him.

He walks over to them. Mira grabs his arm and begins to drag him onto the carpet beside her. The group begins to chant.

“Spin the bottle! Spin the bottle!”

Oh, no fuck, Kai thinks, beginning to resist Mira’s grip on his arm. His drink is sloshing about, and Kai holds it away from his shirt and pants as he tries to reverse his crouch and pull his arm back. Skeet reaches up and confiscates the cup, downing the rest of it in one go.

“Spin the bottle! Spin the bottle! Spin the bottle!”

But he’s buzzed and his coordination is spotty, so when Adam reaches out with his hand and spins the beer bottle, Mira tugs once, hard, and Kai crashes onto the carpet, and the bottle spins,

and spins,

and spins.

And points the neck straight at Kai’s disheveled spot in the circle.

So, let’s revisit that cursed theory, shall we?

Kai looks at Adam, and Adam looks at him. He’s got that dopey half-smile on his face, and his pupils are blown wide, iris a thin gold ring around them. Kai knows when Adam’s drunk, or blackout, and he’s tipsy right now, just like Kai. And... oh no. But the kids in the circle are jeering, giggling delightedly.

“Uh,” Kai says.

Adam licks his lips, and Kai tracks the movement of his tongue helplessly. His eyes are moving on Kai’s face, like he’s cataloging everything, like he can’t keep them still. Kai’s mouth is very, very dry, and he misses having the cup in his hand.

“So, uh,” he says, and the tension buzzes even harder. “Is this, like, a kissing thing?”

Skeet grabs him by the arms and manhandles him up. Reeve and Vanessa grab Adam and start frogmarching them down the short hall toward some rooms and closed doors.

“No,” Skeet says, “This is more like a seven minutes in heaven thing.”

“Wait,” Kai says. Skeet reaches past him and opens a door. “Wait.” Skeet pushes him in, and Adam follows behind. “Wait.” The door clicks shut, then there's a clunk, then the sound of something heavy being pushed against the door.

Kai tries the knob, but it's locked. He jiggles it, but his muscles won’t cooperate and yank hard enough. Adam could probably break it open, but Kai has the vague thought of Vanessa’s parents and property damage, and underage drinking.

“Guys!” Adam yells. He pounds on the door with his fist. “Guys! This isn’t funny!”

But they don’t answer.

Evil. Mental note: make sure your friends aren’t evil next time.

“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while,” Kai sighs, giving up on the door.

They’ll just have to wait out the seven-minute sentence. It’s simultaneously worse and so much better than the alternative. This way, Adam won’t have to kiss Kai if he doesn’t want to. But also: he won’t have to kiss Kai if he doesn’t want to. It’s a testament to how drunk all of them really are.

Kai turns, presses his back against the door, and slides down it, pulling his knees to his chest, wrapping his hands around his shins, and resting his cheek on his knee. He surveys the room. It’s small and dark, Kai doesn’t have the wherewithal to search for the light switch, but from what Kai can see it looks like a guest room no one ever uses and has accumulated with old junk. There’s a tiny window at the opposite wall that leads up to the lawn. Adam groans and drops onto the ground beside Kai.

The night is clear the moonlight is touching the window and peeking into the room. Adam’s shirt is glowing against his skin from the moonlight, his eyes a bright point in the semi-dark of the room. Kai locks eyes with Adam, and the tension from earlier crops back up tenfold.

This situation is... stupidly pointed. Kai’s pretty sure Reeve is the only person in the world who knows Kai thinks Adam is kinda hot, but he’d also have to be massively stupid to ignore the strain in their friend group lately.

Adam’s looking at him the way he does right before he reaches out to touch Kai’s hair, or brush his fingers against Kai’s freckles, or leans over to kiss Kai’s cheek. He’s looking at Kai like a hungry man, like he’s about to make the stupidest decision of his life and never look back. Kai can feel the pull of that look drawing him in, the temptation to run his hands against Adam’s chest, touching his shoulders or his mouth.

So Kai does the only thing he can think of.

“What did you think of that new Hey Arthur episode?”

Adam blinks at him. “Uh. You mean that kids show?”

Kai bites his lip and nods vigorously.

Totally. Totally. Totally screwed.

reeb: [A video of Mira on the dancefloor among a huge throng of teens. The song in the background is completely drowned out by people attempting to sing along drunkenly. She’s grinding against Vanessa, who’s wearing Skeet’s sunglasses and drinking a mimosa with a cocktail umbrella in it.]

(Not sent !) kai: let us out of here!!! its been like 15 mins!!!! guys!!! dam’s phone is dead!!!!!

(Not sent !) kai: goddamn it COME GET US

(Not sent !) kai: NOTHING IS SENDING!!

reeb: lol wya we cant find dam either

(Not sent !) kai: YOU LEFT US IN THE BASEMENT

“Ugh,” Kai says, flopping back down onto the pillows beside Adam. At some point during their imprisonment slash debate on the ethics of twenty-three seasons of the same children’s cartoon, they’d moved from the floor to the twin bed. “I’m pretty sure they forgot about us.”

“Well, it’s been like thirty minutes. And they’re drunk.”

Kai’s starting to sober up. He has to pee, and his mouth tastes like cherry coughdrops. He stands up on the bed, bouncing a bit on the mattress. He reaches up and touches the seam of the window and the sill.

“What are you doing?” Adam asks, trepidation in his voice.

“Uh, escaping?” Kai says.

Kai presses his foot onto the upside down elliptical that’s propped precariously against an old wardrobe. He puts some of his weight on it, testing. Satisfied that it won’t give, Kai lifts himself up onto it, closer to the window, and pushes against the glass pane. The window opens out suddenly, making Kai wobble. The wardrobe groans.

“Careful!” Adam barks.

Kai glances back at Adam, his worried eyes watching Kai from the bed, sitting up on his knees in a half crouch. Kai sticks his head out the narrow window, then his shoulders, and manages to drag himself up and out.

He turns back around and offers his hand to Adam.

“Come on,” he says. “I’ll help you out.”

Adam climbs up onto the elliptical like Kai had, reaches his right hand to Kai’s left and uses his left to leverage himself closer to the window. The wardrobe and the elliptical make that sound again, like they’re scraping together.

“Hurry!” Kai says, afraid of the whole makeshift apparatus falling apart. Adam’s left palm slaps against Kai’s right and Kai pulls.

The elliptical falls over as Kai yanks Adam up, a great big crash resounding in the room they just escaped. Kai’s momentum and Adam’s weight makes Kai step back once, then twice, then his footing goes and he sprawls onto his back, Adam on top of him, in one big undignified heap.

Adam looks down at him. He looks more sober, too, like he hasn’t had much to drink. Kai should really be pushing Adam off of him. Or trying to sit up. But his hands are on Adam’s waist, and Adam’s looking at Kai’s face like he can’t quite look at anything else, and Kai cannot, for the life of him, break this moment.

Adam’s hands are on either side of Kai’s face, boxing him in. His breath puffs against Kai’s mouth over and over as he breathes shallowly. His eyes flick all over Kai’s face, and Kai’s thinking kiss me, please so hard he’s pretty sure NASA catches the brainwaves.

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice,” he says, voice soft and vulnerable, like Kai has the power to hurt him with whatever Kai says next.

Kai’s hands tighten on Adam’s waist. He’s thought about this a lot. Like, a stupid amount. Who doesn’t daydream about confessing to your crush? But Kai cannot dredge up any words to say. He’s dry, completely dry, and he can only think about how good Adam’s weight feels on him. He dips his eyes to Adam’s mouth and thinks This is where I kiss him, right? and Adam’s eyes slide shut as he leans in, towards Kai, and Kai loses his mind.

The backdoor opens, the sounds of the party spilling out into the night air, pink light washing over them. Adam scrambles off Kai so fast that he’s pretty sure he breaks the world record for speed, and stands up.

Kai props himself onto his elbows and squints at the silhouette in the doorway.

“Vanessa?”

“Oh my God, there you guys are!” she leans back into the house to yell, “Guys! I found Adam and Kai! They were fucking around in the backyard!”

“Hey!” Adam snaps indignantly. “You locked us in the basement! We had to escape!”

Vanessa rolls her eyes at them.

adam: hey uh

adam: sorry about what i said when i was drunk lol

adam: i didn’t mean it

Kai turns his phone off and stuffs it into his bag, frustrated. He hadn’t meant to not talk to Adam all weekend, he’d just needed to think things through, and then his dad had asked him to help paint the deck, and he’d had to finish up some code for robotics and time had kinda slipped away from him without really meaning to.

He hadn’t meant to ignore everyone else, either, but they weren’t in a Situation with Kai on Friday night, and he’s not in love with them, and they didn’t seem to mind so much.

Kai had spent all weekend staring at the texts, in between being too busy to answer them, but he can’t figure out what to say back. He’d gotten them Saturday morning after the party, probably because he hadn’t stuck around long enough to be left alone with Adam again.

Kai had left because.

Well, because.

Because he feels played.

Is that it? He can’t tell. He just feels so hollow about it. Adam doesn’t mean to, Kai knows that, but it still feels like he’s being led on. Adam has kissed him once while black out and almost kissed him while tipsy and flirts pretty outrageously, and it’s all too much for Kai’s head, which is designed for building robots and lying to his English teachers.

So at lunch, instead of going to Mr Tucker’s room, he lets Freddie from Calc drag him to the auditorium to help build the drama department’s Spring play set.

He’s not avoiding anyone. He’s just... helping his friends.

Fuck.

reeb: ok i give

reeb: wtf is going on

kai: ?

reeb: don’t “?” me mfer

reeb: adam is sulking n shit and u’ve been sorta MIA

kai: i’ve been busy, sorry

kai: i am the captain of a team u know. its not personal. i’ll hang out with you guys soon

reeb: spidey sense says there is something u are not telling me

kai: i really do think your spidey sense is actually overactive bladder syndrome

reeb: [An image of the caveman spongebob meme.]

He’s in the library, sitting in his favorite spot nestled in the bookshelves, brow furrowed over The Great Gatsby, his English journal, the notes Hannah lent him, and the Sparknotes page for the novel, surrounded by every color highlighter and pen, just trying to get his homework done, when Adam ambushes him.

“You’re avoiding me,” he says, out of nowhere.

Kai jumps, sending his highlighters and books flying. Adam is standing above him, eyebrows furrowed and his arms crossed. He looks a little bit light a superhero, all righteous indignation at injustice, his muscles buldging slightly. You’re dead. Goodbye. his brain supplies.

“Holy shit,” he says, gathering his stuff back up slowly. “You scared me.”

Adam’s eyes soften. “Sorry,” he murmurs.

Kai shrugs. “Don’t worry about it.”

The silence hangs there as Kai avoids his gaze, reshuffling Hannah’s notes back into their correct order. He’s lost his page in the book, so he opens it to the middle and starts looking for the correct page number. There’s no sound in this corner of the library except for Kai’s over-loud breathing and the turning of pages.

Go away go away go away, Kai prays, wanting the world to end so he won’t ever have to face this moment. He thinks about the echo of Adam’s voice in his memory, Kai, look at me, the feeling of Adam’s weight in his lap, the ache Kai feels when he looks at Adam, and wishes that he could just stand up and run.

Adam clears his throat. “You’ve been avoiding me,” he says again, only this time it comes out more like a question.

Kai keeps his face as blank as possible, schools it into something politely curious unlike the shattered glass mosaic he feels like. “Am I?”

Adam rubs his hand across the back of his neck. “Look, I’m sorry,” he says haltingly, sliding his hands into his pockets. “I shouldn’t have... come on to you like that. It was inappropriate, and we were both drunk. And I didn’t mean it.”

Kai looks at him for a long moment. He can feel it, a rock on his chest, crushing him. He feels the ball in his throat, the hot prickle against the backs of his eyelids. “I know,” he says eventually. His voice comes out steady, even though he feels like he’s falling apart.

“So... we’re cool?”

Kai forces himself to nod. “Okay.”

“Really? Because I still feel like I fucked up somewhere here.” Adam takes his hands out of his pockets to open them, palms up, like he’s pleading. “Tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it.”

And it’s now or never. As much as Kai abhors the idea of talking about his feelings in the school library at 4 PM, as much as he wants to just lie through his teeth and stitch this all back up into one big internal bag of FUCK and pretend like nothing happened, he’d be leaving Adam hanging, and Kai’s not a dick.

He takes a deep breath. Then another one. He tries to channel his internal Reeve, but decides against it because Reeve’s kinda an asshole.

“I just... wish you did,” Kai says eventually. If he wasn’t himself, he’d slap him. Adam stares at Kai like he’d just spoken another language, like he’d just spat out part of a puzzle to piece together.

“Wish I did... what?” he asks slowly.

“Mean it,” Kai grits out, the words dragged from him. He feels ridiculous. This is stupid.

“Mean...?” Adam says, like he’s stupid. Kai scowls at him.

“Do you remember the St Eve’s party?”

Adam shrugs, looking helpless and confused.

“I drove you home that party. I drive you home every party. And every time we’re alone, you say that you like me, that you want me to go inside with you, that you think about me all the time,” Kai’s stomach is churning and Adam looks like he’s about to faint.

“I didn’t...”

Kai can’t hear him say it again. “And I know that you’re just drunk, and that’s just what you’re like when you’re drunk, but I just... I just wanted it to be true so bad. Part of me kept driving you home because I wanted you to be like that with me, part of me just wanted to pretend. But then you kissed me, and I just...” Kai makes a helpless gesture with his hands.

Adam licks his lips. He’s breathing a bit hard.

“...Fell apart,” Kai finishes.

Adam’s looking at him, wide-eyed, deer-in-the-headlights look, pure panic. Kai’s fucked it up, ruined their friendship, destroyed their friend-group, and will probably be unable to look anyone in the eye for a very long time.

Adam didn’t want to hear this. Kai should’ve just lied, shut it all up and let himself wither up inside. He should’ve avoided Adam harder, or refrained from falling in love with him in the first place. He should’ve just dated Jesse when she’d asked and made himself get over Adam.

“How long?”

Kai blinks. “Huh?”

“How long have you wanted...?” he shrugs.

Ah. The million dollar question.

“Officially? Middle of junior year. If I’m honest with myself? Probably since middle school.”

Adam’s mouth opens and closes nonsensically. Kai asks God to strike him down, just so this can end, just so Kai can go back to trying to figure out what the fuck is up with Gatsby and Jay, just so Adam will stop looking at him like that, like Kai’s killed his puppy.

Adam drops to his knees in front of Kai.

“Okay. Since freshman year. And I’m a liar. I did mean it. I kept thinking, you know, maybe you’d like me back, because I could see you looking, but I just couldn’t make myself say anything. And I meant it. I mean it. I do. I want to kiss you.”

Kai swallows. He’s feeling that dangerous thing again, like there are snakes in his chest, or his feelings are in a bucket that’s about to overflow.

“Okay,” he squeaks out.

Adam leans down and fits their mouths together. It’s chaste, and Kai’s lips are a little bit chapped, and he didn’t close his eyes, but when Adam pulls back Kai smiles so hard his mouth hurts.

And he leans up to kiss Adam, insistent, insistent, tasting Adam without Hennessy whiskey (and he does taste fantastic), and something electric happens to Kai’s spine when their tongues touch. He feels like he’s going to burn up, burst into stars, create a fissure in the earth that goes down to the core, or all three at once.

Adam licks along the roof of Kai’s mouth and yeah - that’s the one thing he’d like to never, ever, ever forget.

He’s about to be totally, totally, totally screwed.

Group: dandilyin hoes MFERsssss!! skeet DONT CHANGE CHAT NAME

mirakat: omfg

mirakat: k & a suckin face in library

mirakat: [A blurry creeper picture of Kai pressed against the bookshelves, Adam leaning over him. Their silhouettes are blacked out against the sunlight streaming in through the window, so they almost look like one body. It’s taken at an angle and half of a wooden shelf is in frame.]

speedyskeet: arent they in this GC too

lochnessa: Lmfaaooooooo

speedyskeet: they r gonna see this.....

reever: WTF ADAM’S INTO KAI???

reever: ?????

lochnessa: What planet do you live on

speedyskeet: fuckin jesus christ reeb

locknessa: Literally no one knew KAI was into Adam. EVERYONE KNEW ADAM WAS INTO KAI

reever: WHY AM I THE LAST ONE TO KNOW STUFF

mirakat: s2g i tld u this whn we were @ fortescue’s u nvr listen 2 me

“I hate them all,” Kai announces.

Adam looks up at him from where his head is pillowed on Kai’s thighs, Pride and Prejudice held aloft.

“Don’t worry, I set all their ringtones to Maroon 5.”

send me a ship + a prompt and i’ll write you a drabble!

#The Hollow #My writing #answer #kaidam

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lateknightsimmer · 4 years ago

Text

Sims Tag Game

Rules:

Pick a sim of your choice

Tell us about them

Tag someone else (if you want to!)

I was tagged by @lilyshadowwriter to do the Sims Tag Game. Aww, haha, my first little thing I’ve been tagged in since I started paying attention to my Tumblr again. Thanks! You’re a sweetie. I’ll tag @freckled-pixels because I ♥ wuv her. LOL.

I’m choosing my Generation 3 heir from Echoes of Eternity, the current generation I’m writing.

Name: Armand Decimus Hunt

When is your sim’s birthday? Mimicking LilyShadow here, I’m a bad Sim Mom. I have a super nerdy reference sheet of everyone’s ages, from Generation 1 - Generation 3 (both main and supporting characters, yes like I said I’m super nerdy), but I didn’t give them any specific birthdays. I do know that as of the most recent chapter, Armand is 22.

What is your sim’s zodiac sign? *has to go in game to look it up* *pretty sure I just randomized it* *so if Armand’s personality that I wrote has nothing to do with his zodiac sign, that’s fucking why* ---- VIRGO.

Marital Status: Single.

Does your sim have any nicknames? No. I have bad RL experiences with nicknames, so I tend to not nickname my Sims either. Unless it’s like an obvious shortening that’s something like Maximus (my legacy founder), and he gets called Max. But no nicknames like he has a quirk, so he gets a nickname. None of that shit. LOL. Armand’s name is two syllables and calling him “Arm” or “And” just sounds stupid. LOL.

Do they have a job? Armand just graduated from college, and he is still looking for a job.

Where does your sim live? Armand lives in this three story split level house in Twinbrook, Louisiana.

Who does your sim live with? Armand lives with his best friend, Remy, a Louisiana native.

What environment did your sim grow up in? Armand had a neglectful, spiteful mother, and a kind, loving father. They couldn’t have been more polar opposite from each other. Literal environment wise, Armand grew up in Silicon Shores, California.

What is your sim’s favorite food? *goes in game again to look because doesn’t know* *again probably randomized* *shitty Sim Mom, knows it* --- GRILLED SALMON. Armand is damn fancy.

What is your sim’s favorite drink? Alcohol - Armand likes screwdrivers, they’re pretty simple yet delicious. Non-Alcohol - Armand likes 2% milk.

If they have one, what is your sim’s favorite color? *goes in game again* *doesn’t know* *you know the drill now* --- LIME.

Is your sim introverted or extroverted? Introverted.

What is your sims favorite woohoo position? Armand enjoys being on top of the girl he’s woohoo-ing with so he can see her reactions. He wants his partner to have ultimate pleasure, and the girl’s face often reflects whether the pleasure is there or not.

Is your sim a pet person? No. Armand is often lost in thought in his head, he’s self-aware, but he has a lot of things to think about. He doesn’t really want to put his mind in a place where he might accidently neglect a pet just because he’s spacing off about something.

Does your sim have a best friend? Yes, Armand’s best friend is also his roommate, Remy.

What is / was your sim’s favorite school subject? Art class, anything that has to do with painting, drawing, or sketching.

Are they planning to go or have they already been to college? Armand just graduated from college. He’s been done for about a month.

Does your sim have a favorite TV show? Armand likes Penn & Teller’s Fool Us. It’s a magic show where Penn & Teller try to guess how a magician does his trick. They also give magicians whose tricks they cannot guess a chance to perform at their venue in Las Vegas. This is Armand’s favorite show because it reminds him of his father (a magician), whom he loves and adores dearly.

Does your sim like books? Armand has mixed feelings about books. On one hand, they remind him of his terrible mother, but it’s not like he won’t touch the things. The memories suck, but he did read his textbooks when he needed to for college. However, he wouldn’t turn to books for fun.

What is your sim’s personal style? Armand has a bit of a rock star style, he has some shirts that are ripped in just the right places, and he’s not afraid to wear something that looks a little messy. Armand’s family has a dark hot pink hair gene, started from his great-grandfather, Alexander Hunt, which makes Armand not shy away from bright colors in his outfits.

Is your sim religious? Not really. Patrick (Armand’s father) raised Armand with good values, but they weren’t tied to religious ideals. Although some of them might have similar ideals, like treat others with kindness and respect, it wasn’t religion that was the driving force behind it.

What kind of music does your sim listen to? Armand likes when he plays the guitar, although he hasn’t written anything himself, he does like what he plays. He also likes pop music, like the song Ghost by Ella Henderson.

What is your sim’s favorite type of weather? Armand likes California weather, sunshine, a light breeze, 70s for the high, 40s for the low. He doesn’t like a lot of humidity, he’s finding out as he lives in Louisiana for now. LOL.

Does your sim have a dream job? Armand would love to paint and be a famous artist, selling his art to high end galleries. He just wants to let his creativity out and be paid for it. LOL.

Does your sim have any siblings? No. Armand’s parents didn’t get along very well after he was born, so they never came together long enough to make or want to make any siblings for their son.

Does your sim get along with their family? Yes and no. Armand’s always gotten along with his father, grandfather, and grandmother. He never got along with his mother, who is now deceased. He does get along with his new step-mother.

What is your sims favorite hobby? Armand loves to sing and play his guitar.

What does your sim look for in a romantic partner? For now, Armand has just been playing the field, he’s slept with a few women without searching too hard for romance. All he knows is he doesn’t want anyone who remotely resembles his crazy dead mother.

What is a flaw your sim has? Armand has a traumatic past so he has a bad habit of getting into cycles where his brain makes him think he hates himself and that he’s worthless. He knows at this point that none of that is true, and he’s working on it.

Does your sim have a greatest achievement? Armand is still young and he has his whole life ahead of him, but he would probably say his greatest achievement for now, is that he was able to overcome the bad memories that he associated with his childhood home. He recently visited his parents’ home for Thanksgiving break and he was able to feel happy while being in that house, which is something he’d never been able to do until now.

If they have one, what is your sim’s greatest regret? Armand’s mom died young, and their relationship had always been super shitty. His regret is that he couldn’t patch things up with her (if that was even possible) while she was alive.

Wooo! Thanks for tagging me! ♥ This was great fun.

#Lilyshadowwriter #freckled-pixels #OC #Armand Decimus #TS3 #EchoesofEternity

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yaboylevi · 5 years ago

Note

Does Eren's question mean that he has a cruch on Mikasa?

Mmm, I’ll try to explain how I read the scene.

Short answer: No, I do not believe Eren has a crush on Mikasa and the scene, albeit presented in a romantic light from Mikasa’s pov, it was not on Eren’s part. Same as usual, I’d argue.

I will expand on this under the cut, but I just want to reiterate that this is just my interpretation, as one of the anons said, and I am aware everyone is free to have their own, even if they might puzzle me. You are free to disagree, but please don’t send me hate messages.

Upon reading the chapter the first time, I didn’t feel romantic vibes. It was actually quite tragic and disappointing for me to see one of my favorite characters (Mikasa) completely misunderstand my favorite character (Eren), in spite of how close they are supposed to be. I was so depressed and disturbed by the whole chapter, that even if I read it at 5 AM and I could’ve slept another 2 hours before having to actually wake up, I just laid in bed restlessly, absolutely depressed. I even tweeted about it lol.

Anyway, I was pretty busy that week, and only later I found out most people interpreted the scene as Eren being in love with Mikasa. It was a shock for me. It was literally the opposite of what I personally understood.

- Eren’s headspace

Let’s first talk about Eren and where his mind is in this chapter.

I felt discomfort and anxiety throughout the whole chapter. I am a pretty empathetic person, so I realized why I was feeling like that only later, after rationalizing chapter 123: Eren’s memories (which we know are horrible and gruesome and depressing) were being triggered the whole time he was in Marley and it was disturbing to watch.

He looks distressed and uncomfortable. His gaze is often unfocused (or, well, not focused on the present) and he is constantly spacing out - Armin notices but doesn’t seem to care or understand why. Honestly, it is cringe-worthy seeing Eren’s friends’ behavior. They should know what memories Eren has of this place. I do not know if anyone reading right now is familiar with triggers and what they do to a mind affected by PTSD. It’s enough to know that you feel like suffocating because you are fundamentally battling a panic attack and you ideally would want to get away from the source that is triggering you. So, imagine being in a situation you can’t escape from and everything is triggering your worst nightmares. Literally.

Even here, I’m ashamed no one in canon (and almost even in the fandom?) realizes or bothers to be understanding and careful, even when Eren makes a disturbing comment about it. Mikasa admits to it when it's all too late.

The ice-cream scene, just like the one I’m supposed to analyze in this post, is rose-tinted through Mikasa’s glasses, until we are faced with reality and are asked to reflect on Eren’s emotional state, again and again.

Reality is not a happy trip in a foreign country. Reality is a crowd of grown men wanting to hang a child because he’s different. Reality is people wanting to kill them all. Reality is Eren being triggered by ice-cream. Imagine being unable to look at a certain food because it reminds you of people being abused and brutally killed, something that you have actual memories of.

It’s just really frustrating seeing Mikasa looking at Eren, with this dumbfounded look on her face, every time Eren’s eyes seem to scream “help”.

The strain he is put under for the whole time culminates in him crying while looking at the war victims’ homes. Here at this moment, Mikasa enters the scene.

- The “eremika” scene

At this point, Eren’s reminiscing about an awful part of his past, and has a pretty clear idea of what will happen in Marley in a close future. We can be certain of this because he voices both of these topics out loud.

Eren is visibly distressed. Honestly, I’m pretty sure his voice in this scene will be quite telling of his emotional state in the anime. The direction his thoughts go, when expressed out loud, and the expression on his face are self-explanatory. Or should be, at least.

It doesn’t matter that Mikasa hasn’t seen him cry, she saw Eren wipe his face and noticed that there is, again, something wrong, but she doesn’t even ask him if he’s alright. She either doesn’t comprehend the depth of Eren’s pain, yet again, or she isn’t brave enough to ask. I believe it’s the former.

The whole chapter revolves around Mikasa’s inability to see Eren’s true feelings. Chapter 123 opens with this concept. And it is also quite clear that everything is retold from her point of view, so we shouldn’t complacently accept a surface reading of it; we are instead invited to have a deeper look into the events, both by Mikasa’s initial lines as well as the not at all subtle visual storytelling. So yeah, she has a perspective on Eren that is wrong. I think we should keep this in mind.

That’s why the moment she thinks ice-cream can make Eren happy, she is wrong. The moment she thinks Eren’s question has romantic implications, she is wrong. The moment she wonders if a different answer could’ve prevented Eren from choosing this path, she is also wrong...

Let’s go back to the scene.

Eren opens up on his own, even if Mikasa didn’t ask. He’s always been open throughout the time-skip (and even before), but I believe at this moment he has reached the breaking point since landing in Marley. He is at the most vulnerable. Like a dam finally breaking, his walls, that he had tried to keep up until that moment, fall and his feelings/thoughts spill out, after being mostly silent all day.

His short monologue is a direct continuation, or out loud repetition, of what he had been thinking about only moments before and that had caused him to cry. I believe the future he has decided upon also plays a part in it, but he doesn’t voice it, just offhandedly acknowledge its existence with that “Not yet.” comment.

Seeing a family living in poor conditions because of a war they didn’t even have any say in, has triggered Eren’s memories of the past. His and Mikasa’s and Armin’s past. They only had each other, as family, because the adults weren’t there anymore, unjustly killed, like many others. They had experienced first hand what it meant to lose your loved ones, to live a life without enough food, enough rest, enough protection. Without freedom.

Mikasa doesn’t say anything to this. She doesn’t know how to reply, and, thanks to the chapters dedicated to the time-skip, we know this has been going on for years. It’s honestly…disappointing.

And even before the time-skip, we know that she sometimes projected her insecurities and wishes on Eren, misinterpreting him really badly, to the point of making situations romantic when it really weren't.

The scene in chapter 123 is no different, especially because, as I said, it is explicitly a chapter told from Mikasa’s point of view where she also explicitly says she hasn’t been seeing Eren correctly.

There have been a lot of parallels with past chapters in this recent arc, and even 123 wasn’t lacking in this department: if the ice-cream scene parallels the ocean scene, with everyone having fun, while Eren is in emotional pain and discomfort; This other scene parallels chapter 50. At the ocean, Eren’s words gave pause to everyone, but in chapter 123 nobody, quite frankly, gives a damn about Eren to the point that they forget about him. Similarly, in chapter 50 Mikasa had managed to express her feelings for Eren’s existence (gratitude, acceptance and unconditional love - not necessarily romantic), and managed to surprisingly help him because she understood his needs on a basic level. In chapter 123, she doesn’t understand Eren’s pain and so she doesn’t say the right thing (that, btw, wouldn’t have changed Eren’s mind about his future actions, imo).

Just like in chapter 50, Eren is in an emotionally fragile moment, and what he needs, unconsciously, is the reassurance that he is loved, that someone cares about him for who he is, even if he feels undeserving of it.

I believe he is feeling despair on both occasions.

Of course, we can only guess about what made Eren cry in this new chapter, because we don’t have access to his mind this time around, but I’m sure it’s a mixture of things: knowing how ineluctable their future seems, and whatever it entails is upsetting for Eren as well; empathy for someone else’s painful condition because he’s been there before; probably also sadness, because he knows what he himself will cause to happen (as implied by that “not yet”) as well as that his time with his found family and friends is about to end; the bonds he will have to break, something that breaks Eren in return.

So it’s honestly not that surprising that he searches for comfort. I guess he’s been struggling with what he has seen in his future because he would have never thought himself able to kill innocents. His mindset used to be about protecting himself and his loved ones and innocents from being robbed of their freedom, yet he knows he is about to become someone who takes away that freedom, along with lives. For him, life equals freedom, because when you are born you are intrinsically free. So his future actions must have been weighing heavy on his mind and heart.

I find it fitting and incredibly sad that he asks Mikasa what she thinks of him now, after talking about families being robbed of their freedom and how much pain this causes.

Mikasa has always been family to him. So has been Armin, but Mikasa is somehow different. She has lived with him, he has directly invited her to be part of his family, he admitted he childishly rejected her familial care because he was jealous but after this admittance, he embraces it. Opening Grisha’s book together was an important moment exactly because they are family, and that was their home.

They are constantly compared to family. It doesn’t matter, in my opinion, that Mikasa holds also romantic feelings for Eren. She primarily sees him as family, too.

They are what is left of the Yeager household, and the story has highlighted this.

So I believe that in his pain in 123, Eren seeks something, a word of comfort, an assurance that he is not just a killer or a failure, and that he is Eren, someone who has been trying to do the right thing since forever, someone who has done the right thing often, someone who is deserving of the care of the girl he once saved (even if the question clearly implies he doesn’t think he deserves it). In chapter 50, Eren invokes his mother. I am sure he is searching for the same kind of warmth here too. The warmth of his family.

The scene, to me, felt a lot more about Eren’s feelings of self-hatred and Mikasa missing the point.

The entirety of the chapter is meant to show how Mikasa didn’t understand Eren: both by ignoring some signs and misunderstanding others.

He is suffering, but she thinks he is asking her about her romantic feelings.

She blushes, yet Eren has just finished crying and becomes teary-eyed once again.

He is distressed and looks haunted, during both of the rose-colored scenes with Mikasa.

His questions are almost needy. Yet, she fails to understand what Eren was in need of: comfort, understanding, an “I care about you because it’s YOU”. Something that she implied later in chapter 112, when it was indeed too late.

- The two choices were possibly both wrong

Eren presented two options and I think they were both partially correct but at the same time incomplete, because Mikasa’s care for Eren is comprised of many facets. We don’t know what he thinks of Mikasa's answer because we don’t see his reaction to it. However, he seems at peace, later on, falling asleep next to the closest members of his found family, meaning he is content with and values the way their relationship is.

Eren surely doesn’t regret saving Mikasa. He also surely considers Mikasa his family, as I stated before. But there are certain kinds of expectations in being family and in being someone’s savior. You will always care about someone who literally saved your life. You will always care about family because they are…well, family. No matter how messed up they may be, they will always have a small place in your heart, whether it’s bad or good.

“You’re my savior” might imply a dependance or sticking to someone just to repay them. “Family” might have the meaning of “it’s my duty to look after you because it’s simply what family members do”. Both also imply that Mikasa will be hurt even worse by what Eren is about to do.

These weren’t the answers Eren needed, perhaps.

As I said already, I believe that what he searched for, was a different answer. If Mikasa had told him she cared about him as a person, as Eren himself, Eren would have felt reassured - because he would be loved for the neutral quality of simply existing. That’s also what made him feel better, when hearing Carla’s words at the end of Uprising. That he was loved, cared for, and worthy of existing just for being born. No expectations, no burdens. An “I stick with you because I love you (romantically)” could have held the same meaning, potentially, because love is love, but in no way this means Eren wanted a romantic answer or that he feels the same way. Besides, that’s not the reason Mikasa cares about Eren, that’s just a side effect, imo.

And I don’t believe Mikasa, at the question “what am I to you?”, believes she should have responded with “you are the love of my life”. That would’ve been so out of place, because Eren is not the love of her life. He is more. I think family well describes it, but her half-assed, panicked answer wasn’t truthful or as powerful as her words were in chapter 50, so they had no real effect and felt unsatisfying for everyone, honestly.

I always stated that if Eren fell in love with someone else, their love for one another wouldn’t change, because the strongest feeling Mikasa feels for Eren isn’t romantic love, and romantic love is something that has never been in Eren’s mind when it came to Mikasa, as shown countless times (or rather, the lack of romantic undertones on his part re:Mikasa should be proof enough, imo).

Anyway, I could be wrong, but I can’t see it any other way. I think it’s a very complex scene to analyze and there is way more than meets the eye, especially because we aren’t granted access to Eren.

I am a great fan of Mikasa, but this scene and chapter made me reconsider her a lot, unfortunately. I strongly believed she had resolved and understood her complicated feelings for Eren in chapter 50, so she had reached a less biased view, but there has been a regression. The same happened with Armin, his character arc was about him growing confident in himself, and learning to always pay close attention to his own realistic reading of the world, but he has just become unsure of what he has to do and lost his cynical edge.

And finally, I want to quickly address another two points so I don't have to talk about this scene anymore until new information is revealed:

The “perfect timing” comment: I interpreted it as Eren knowing what was about to happen and being depressed but used to his memories being correct. Proof, for me, is Mikasa being confused at Eren’s comment, just like she was at the “not yet” one. Besides, they had already been interrupted by the old man and he didn’t seem to mind, so this “perfect timing” has nothing to do with their friends “ruining” the moment. He willingly invites them to join in and finally, he is content and relaxed, when he is with all of them. He loves them all.

Mikasa’s comment about “if only I had said something different”: I think she may have realized that it wasn’t a romantic situation - because clearly, her romantic inclinations have clouded her judgment. That she had failed to understand Eren’s feelings and his reason for bringing up Mikasa’s care for him. I don’t sense a “I should’ve told him I loved him”. Because honestly, familial love IS love. Platonic love IS love, too. If Eren wasn’t “saved” by the purest form of love, I don’t see how any other type of love could’ve changed anything. That panel, revisited by the current Mikasa, focuses even more on Eren’s tears. Eren’s deep sadness clashes with Mikasa’s initial frivolous reading of the moment. So stating that she believes she should’ve confessed, means going against what the chapter has stated to be…not right.

Thank you for reading all of this, if anyone has managed to! :)

#mikasa ackerman #eren yeager #snk 123 #snk spoilers #snk meta #snk #Anonymous

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