#I hate to keep repeating myself but I’m so tired of these thoughts all piling up on me constantly and trying to kill me every day

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[xinfamousxunderdogx]

Disconnected (Jaskier x Reader)

Hello hello there, 

well, it’s been a while since I’ve shared a story on here. But I managed to finish something I’ve started writing quite a while ago. It’s not very long, but I needed a bit of comfort from the bard, as we all do. So I thought I’d share it.

This story is heavily inspired by the song “Disconnected” by Imminence, which I can highly recommend to you.

Quick summary: The reader os having quite a hard time to cope with their feelings on their own, but Jaskier is there to comfort them

“You’ve been in there for hours and you’ve had this song on repeat for weeks now already.” He leaned against the door frame, pale blue eyes fixating on me, eyebrows furrowed, a worried expression on his face.

And I looked away. I couldn’t face him.

He was right. I recently barely left my room, from time to time at least, only if I had to. And these times piled up the past weeks. I tried to hide it, because I didn’t want Jaskier to notice. Tried to keep up that smile and the bubbly energy we both shared. And I thought it worked. But yet again I realized I couldn’t trick him. He was way too good with people and knew me too well.

“I’m just tired. This week’s been exhausting.”, I murmured, still not looking back at him. Right now, there was still a chance that Jaskier would give up and simply leave me alone. But if I’d face him I knew I would start to cry, and then I would have to explain myself, but I know I wouldn’t find any words for what was going on inside my head right now. The past weeks. Months, even. Everything felt off, in a weird way, and I wasn’t able to explain. So, it was easier to deal with this on my own, in my head. Where I wouldn’t have to try and phrase my thoughts and feelings.

I grabbed my phone and turned up the volume just a tad bit, hoping Jaskier would understand and leave. With a sigh I closed my eyes, waiting for the familiar sound of the door closing and footsteps distancing. The door closed. But the footsteps approached, and a second later I felt the weight of his body lowering the mattress. Couldn’t he just go away? Couldn’t he just leave me alone?

“Jaskier, please, I said I’m fine I’m-“

“You can’t fool me, dear”, he interrupted me, and his voice was so incredibly soft, so caring and warm that I knew if he continued to talk, I wouldn’t be able to hold the tears back.

“I don’t expect you to talk to me, not if you don’t want to. I’m definitely not going to force you. But …”, he remained silent for a moment, as if he was trying to find the right words. “I’m worried. You haven’t… you haven’t been really … you, lately. I can see that there’s something bothering you, something that heavies your heart and mind, and I’m worried that it eventually might suffocate you.”

That was it. The first tear was running down my nose, but I did my best to try and keep my breath steady and calm. I hated to cry in front of others, at least when I was crying out of sadness.

“I just want you to know I’m here, okay? I’ll always be, whenever you need me. Remember that, okay?” I nodded quickly, giving him a sign that I was listening and not ignoring him. I wanted to thank him. But the lump in my throat was too big, so I just nodded.

“Good … good”, he whispered in response, and when I felt him shifting on the mattress to get up I quickly reached for his hand. I realized that I didn’t want to be alone, that I needed someone, but not to talk … just to be there.

“Could you … stay?”, I asked, barely audible, my voice almost cracked. But Jaskier sat back down, I felt the warmth of his body against my back again, giving me a feeling of safety. As if this warmth protected me, from the world, from my thoughts. I felt safer.

I took a deep breath, trying to swallow the lump in my throat before I spoke again. “I … don’t want to talk, though. But I think I could need some … some company.”

“Shhh, you don’t have to explain or justify yourself. If you need company, I shall, no, I will provide it, okay? Without question.” His fingers slowly intertwined with mine as his thumb started to gently rub circles on the back of my hand. Which only caused more tears to run down my face, and I desperately tried to suppress any sob, but Jaskier knew me too well. The grip around my hand tightened just a bit, and he turned so he was completely facing me.

“Do you need a hug?”, he asked and I just nodded, gritting my teeth, but as soon as Jaskier wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer, it was like something in my brain that was responsible for me holding back shut itself off. Tears were streaming down my face and I started sobbing almost uncontrollably. But Jaskier held me close, and my fingers were clinging onto his forearms as if my life was depending on them, on him. Everything that I’ve been holding back. suppressing, all the tears and emotions, now came over me at once like a tidal wave, and even though for now it felt like i was drowninhg in all of these feelings I knew I would feel better afterwards.

A loud, frantic sob escaped my throat and Jaskier wrapped his arms even tighter around me, gently rocking back and forth, he was mumbling something, I couldn’t understand the words but the sound of his voice and the vibrations I felt from his chest kept me safe.

I don’t know for how long we sat there, how long he held me while I was falling apart in his arms, crying every tear ive swallowed over the past few months. But eventually, even the last single tear ran dry and my breath got calmer again. I didn’t feel much better. But lighter than before. But even after I’ve stopped crying Jaskier kept holding me. And I was glad. I didn’t know if I was emotionally or mentally ready to let go of the shelter his arms and his body provided.

“I just ... I just feel so empty. And lonely.”, I whispered almost hesitantly after a while. “Most of the times, there’s just a void inside of me, and I don’t seem to be able to fill it. It’s ridiculous, because I know that theres is no reason for me to feel like that. I ... I have everything I need in life. Maybe that’s what frustrates me the most. Other people have it so much worse, have experienced so many horrible things and yet there’s nothing I can do against feeling that way even though I know there’s no reason for these kind of feelings.”

My voice got quiet again in the end, nothing more than a raspy whisper. There it was again. The habit to justify myself for my feelings, and to understate them. It’s always been this way. I wouldn’t allow myself any negative feelings that had no cause. Not because I didn’t want to, I really tried, but my mind was telling me other things.

“Can you be happy without any specific reason?”, Jaskier asked, his voice a gentle whisper right beside my ear. The question confused me. “Uhm ... yes, of course”, I replied, but it sounded more like a question than a statement.

“Is that feeling of happiness, you can experience without any specific reason less intense, less of an actual, valid feeling?”, he asked further. “What? Of course not, Jaskier, why should-” “Then why”, he interrupted me “Should any of your negative feelings such as sadness be less real, less valid even though in your opinion there might be no good reason for these feelings?”

I really had to think about this for a moment. But as much as I tried, I couldn’t come up with a reasonable argument. I had to admit that he was right. As much as I hated it.

“But I feel so guilty”, I whispered, and in this moment i was glad both uo us were facing the wall. I knew I couldn’t keep up this conversation when I was looking at him. Because right now, i showed myself the most vulnerable I ever had. It was difficult, but Jaskier made it a bit easier.

“We are human, love. We try to find explanations for everything, or anyone to blame. But feelings aren’t something that can be explained so easily. We don’t care when it comes to happy, psoitive feelings. of course not, why shouldn’t we.But with tzhe negative feelings ... when there’s no explanation for that, the most logical consequence is to blame ourselves for them. Even though there’s no need to. Because feelings come and go, no matter what kind of. If, for example, you love someone, but they don’t love you back - they haven’t hurt you, they just don’t feel the same. Then you get sad, which is a reasonable response to the situation. there’s an explanation for your feelings, yet noone to blame. You wouldn’t blame yourself there, too, would you? So why do you do it now?”

Jaskiers voice was calm, soothing. And for the forst time in months I felt rather ... alright. As if his words managed to seal the leaks in my mind that were spreading the void, finally helping me to form clear thoughts again. His words calmed the chaos up there.

The way he explained it everything seemed to make so much sense. And he was right, I coulnd’t say anthing against it. But I knew that was just for that moment. The thoughts would come back. The guilt.

“I understand that I won’t be able to change your mind about this with just one conversation. That’s not my intention”, he continued, as if he’s been knowing exactly what I was thinking about. “But ... if you’ll let me, we can work on this together. If you allow me to help you we will find a way. A way for you to cope. To allow any kind of feeling, good or bad. To be human, but to accept everything that comes with it.”

A single tear rolled down the bridge of my nose, but I wasn’t crying because of sadness again. more because of relief. It felt good that now someone knew what was going on. Someone I trusted, someone I know would support me. Just for the moment I had the feeling that with Jaskiers help I could actually manage to put my thought in order again, to show them theor place. To work with them, not against them.

And I was more than thankful for that.

[mercy-burning]

Your Favorite — Part 3

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: As the summer comes to a close, Spencer and Y/N start feeling a shift in their relationship. Category: SMUT (18+) Content: Adults w/ age gap, thigh riding, exhibitionism, oral sex (male receiving), penetrative/unprotected sex, breeding kink, one line of daddy kink,  Word Count: 4.3k exactly, love how that turned out lol

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | MASTERLIST

NOTE: Thank you all for sticking with me through this long wait, I feel so bad for having to keep putting it off. But I’m very proud of where this ended up, and I’m so glad you’ve all been so excited about it! I had so much fun writing this story, so again, thank you very much for reading and indulging me in this weird fantasy lolol ❤ Love you guys! And, as always, thank you to the lovely Em ( @boldlyvoid ) for being my beta for this series! Your feedback and support has been a big help from the start, ILY

———

AUGUST 12th

"I don't wanna hear a single word, understand?"

Not like I have a choice; As soon as the harsh whisper leaves Spencer's mouth, his hand is covering my own and my back is being pressed up against the wall of the storage closet.

But that's all he does. I wait for him to make a move, but instead he insists on being a tease.

"What? You've been trying to get my attention all night, and now that you have it, you're not gonna do anything with it?"

"I want you to do it for me," I mumble into his hand.

He shoves me harder into the wall and slots his knee in between my legs, spreading them apart and making me sigh.

"You wanted it so bad... So take it..."

Watching the amusement dance through his features as I grind down on his leg and whine into his mouth only excites me more, right next to the knowledge that downstairs the house is congested with people visiting to celebrate my mom's new promotion at work.

Needless to say, it doesn't take me very long to start feeling my stomach tense. My hips are wild as they roll over his leg, whines spewing from my mouth and into his hand. I look up into his eyes, doing my best to show him how much I could never grow tired of this, and he returns the favor by lifting his leg higher and giving me more friction.

In no time at all, I'm shuddering against him, feeling his hand press harder into my mouth to muffle the high-pitched whines that I can't help but expel.

"Nice and quick... Good girl..." Spencer muses, slowly peeling himself away from me. "You're really looking forward to being spoiled later, aren't you..."

The grin that spreads over my face is unwavering. "Definitely. Knowing Mom, she'll be passed out cold in like an hour."

I know I'm the one who brought her up, but it still stings a little when Spencer smiles fondly. "Yeah, she's a lightweight alright... You sure you can handle all this time without me until then?"

Despite the butterflies I get when he says it, mischievous and downright delectable, his hands reach out to grab my waist and pull me closer to him, I roll my eyes. "You underestimate me."

He studies my face for a moment, a pretty smile flashing before me in the dim light before he kisses my cheek. "Sure."

And when he leaves, I wait.

Minutes later, my skin still burns from his touch.

———

The moment my eyes open the next morning, it all comes back in flashes.

His lips are on my skin, travelling lower and lower...

His hands trail all over my body, featherlight in a way that leaves me with goosebumps.

His tongue starts slow, taking its time to taste me and savor every precious second.

His voice is like the sweetest prayer, whispering praises that leave my head dizzy and my heart pounding.

His lips languidly open and close around the most sensitive parts of my body, in tandem with that sweet, magnificent tongue as each action pulls sighs from the very depths of my soul.

His hands reach up and tangle with mine as he makes me come on his tongue, over and over again until I'm practically numb and the lull of sleep drags me under.

His hands now ghost over my bare skin, along my sides and down to my waist. I hum happily and push back against him when I feel it.

He's hard.

"How long before you think she wakes up?" he whispers in my ear.

"Not long... Maybe we... shouldn't risk i—"

The words fall off a cliff, never to be seen again when he slowly enters me, gripping my leg and forcing it over his own. "I'll be quick."

I can tell, though, that he doesn't want to be. It's present in the way he enters me, over and over with motions that feel rather stunted and definitely too rushed.

"Baby, no," I whine, reaching behind me to hold his hips still with one hand. "Fuck me slow... Don't rush..."

"But... Your mom..."

"Please..."

Spencer sighs, though not from exasperation. No, his breath is long and teeming with relief, hands gently roaming over the entirety of my body as his hips move slower. He's taking his time, relishing every second and feeling me gradually get more slick at his undoing.

His lips are on my neck, not providing marks to match the ones hidden on the inside of my thighs and my chest, but merely resting there. He kisses me in between gentle thrusts, letting out small whimpers of his own when I clench tightly around him.

This...

This is different.

We've had slow morning sex before, but never like this. Somehow, I find myself drifting, like I'm being carried away by his current. There's nothing but me, Spencer, and our breathing... Our bodies, our air, our souls...

This is what I imagine making love feels like.

Which is why I barely notice when it slips from my mouth— Three words that should feel more daunting due to the weight they hold and the way they ultimately change everything. And yet, whispering “I love you,” in a nearly breathless string of syllables feels incredibly natural. It’s more sincere than anything I think I’ve ever told him, so much so that I don’t even think about what it will mean in the long-run. Instead I let it fall from my lips again and again without regret or consequence.

He doesn't stop, either. Spencer continues to fuck me softly, like it's all he knows how to do. In fact, my confession only seems to make him relax more.

And that's what finally pushes me over the edge.

His name escapes my mouth in a whisper that sounds more like a plea not to leave, and he holds me closer to him. Our bodies are flush together, my back resting perfectly against his chest as he takes a few final thrusts and empties himself inside of me.

If we stayed like that forever, I could die happy.

And actually, that wouldn't be far from the truth, given that if we did stay here forever, my mom would certainly find us and kill us.

The thought makes me sigh.

"You have to leave..."

"I know..."

Spencer pulls me closer, squeezing me tight and giving me a long, bold kiss on the jaw before he rips himself away and takes my heart with him.

AUGUST 18th

Things are significantly different now.

After the morning I let slip that I love him, Spencer and I had been intimate once. We found ourselves alone while Mom was at the grocery store and instinctually came together.

It was quick, and it was fast and rough, and while it obviously felt good, something was off. But I knew it wasn't a physical problem. Like I said, it felt as good as any other time we'd been together, but it just wasn't right.

I hate it.

It hasn't even been a week since then, and I miss him. I miss our dynamic, and I miss the way I used to feel when he touched me.

So I stalk into the office and lean against the doorframe, watching Spencer as he goes through a large pile of paperwork. His hands and his eyes are moving at near light-speed, and the way he concentrates almost makes me feel bad for my intrusion—Honestly, I could have looked at him all damn day.

But there's a bigger plan in mind.

"What'cha up to?"

He looks up and greets me with a smile. "School starts in a few weeks. I'm just trying to get my coursework prepared."

"Oh... You... mind if I keep you company?"

"Not at all."

It's an innocent enough exchange, though I'm hoping I can change that. Mom doesn't get off work for another few hours, so it gives me ample time to do what I have planned.

I walk over and nudge his leg with my knee, and he lets me in. I climb on his lap, and after giving me a brief kiss on the cheek he returns to going through his paperwork.

My face turns and I nestle it into his neck. He hums softly when I kiss the skin under his jaw, once, and then twice, and then over and over in quick succession.

I can feel him smile. "What are you up to, princess?"

Hearing the nickname return in earnest makes me smile. I nip softly at his neck and run my tongue along it. "Mmm, trouble."

"Sounds like you," he mutters through a sultry sigh once I start going lower, kissing the top of his shoulder.

I slide my hands up the front of his chest and gently undo the top button, giving me access to more skin. "You love it when I make trouble..."

"Hmm, I'm not sure about that."

I slide off his lap then, crouching between his legs and looking up at him with a smile. "Really?"

All he does is look down at me, his pupils growing bigger by the second. So I continue my venture, sliding my hands up the insides of his legs until I reach the belt. "So you don't love when I do this?"

Spencer sighs, helping me by lifting his hips a little and letting me slide down layers of fabric until his dick is right in front of me.

I don't waste any time, taking him in my hand and bringing him to my mouth. He's still not entirely hard yet, but I don't mind at all. In fact, I let out a happy sigh just before I press kiss after kiss along the entire length of him. From base to tip, I take my time kissing and licking along the salty skin and giving him my full attention. I pull back and admire him, I smile, I kiss and I lick and I squeeze him with my hand... And when he's finally nice and hard, I take the head of his cock in my mouth and suck gently.

"Y/N..."

I hum around him, sinking further down until he hits the back of my throat, and then I come back up and repeat. It's slow. Maybe torturous even, but really I don't mean it to be.

Thankfully Spencer seems to be happy with my speed and technique; His eyes are on the verge of closing and his chest is heaving slowly, fingers gently caressing the sides of my face as I go down on him.

It's this same slow, steadying pace we'd taken before, and it's exactly what we needed.

I can feel his touch on my face, burning into my skin and marking me for all eternity. Likewise, the thick, throbbing weight of his cock sliding over my tongue and down my throat feels just like home— Like it's right where we're meant to be.

Once again, we fit together perfectly.

This epiphany sets a fire deep in the pits of my stomach, and just like that our spark is back again.

I look up and catch his eye, and he lets me keep it, forcing himself to keep his eyelids open to watch me. My pace remains consistent and slow, and and he brings both of his hands under my chin. The way he holds my face is so gentle, so loving and sensual that I nearly burst with tears at the sentiment alone, and it doesn't take long for him to start letting go.

He stutters my name when he comes, still using the pads of his nimble fingers to caress my throat. I take in and swallow each rope of cum until it's gone, and even then I keep him in my mouth, gently bobbing my head up and down just for the sake of feeling him inside me somehow.

But then he lifts me off of him and his dick falls limp in his lap. I sigh and lean down, kissing it a few times before just resting my head in his lap as he strokes my hair.

"You're right," Spencer says after a few moments.

"About what?"

"I do love when you make trouble."

We laugh, and I lift my head to look up at him.

"I know... It's your favorite."

"That it is, princess."

AUGUST 26th

I wish more than anything that this orientation would just end. My left foot is anxiously tapping the cool white tile of the floor as I wait to be next in line to grab my paperwork and get on my way— To home for what I'm sure will be a long weekend trying to find free minutes to steal with Spencer.

In another life it might have gotten tedious and painful sneaking around for so long, but I found it excited me. Sure, my feelings for Spencer were growing at an exponential rate, but ever since I visited him in our home office, we seemed to be getting back our groove— With an added flair I might add...

Each time we were together was more intense than the last. His hands got more possessive, his kisses got deeper and more passionate, and the way he looked at me?

I could swear I felt him falling just as deep as I was.

The smile it all brought to my face in that moment fell a little short when they called me next in line, and I fell into a joyful step forward to collect my things.

When I get home, though, things aren't as joyful.

The first thing I notice is that Spencer's car isn't in the driveway or even on the street. He's usually here on weekends, so I wonder if he's out for something, or even out with my mom on a lunch date or something.

I try not to think about that thought too much and step inside, hoping to at least enjoy the silence for a little while, lest they really are out together.

I think I'm out of the woods when I hear the television, a laugh track of some kind, but then it turns into the Friends theme blaring through the speakers, and my heart nearly falls into the pit of my stomach.

There's only one reason Mom would be watching Friends. She swears up and down that she hates it, but it always ends up on TV when there's one specific thing she's going through, because "Hearing them complain about their stupid problems make me feel better about my own!"

Her own problem being a breakup.

For a moment I wonder if maybe Spencer had told her about us. Or maybe she found something somehow that would give us away. I make my way slowly through the space until I reach the living room, my brain making up every possible horrendous outcome— Not even to prepare for the blow, because I know that absolutely nothing could prepare me for the wrath of my mother in any situation... I simply can't help myself from feeling guilty and heartbroken as my stomach churns and my heart beats so loud I can barely hear the TV anymore.

When I come into her view, Mom freezes and lets out a large breath of shaky air. The small tub of ice cream in her hands shakes just as much, and I can tell she's trying her hardest not to burst into tears.

I've never seen her this upset before. Normally it's just anger and annoyance, but this time she looks utterly broken.

"M—Mom?" I stutter, even though she probably can't even hear what I'm saying over the TV. I still don't know if she knows about my involvement with Spencer, but I feel like she'd be more angry with me than sad, so I figure it's safe to come closer.

The moment I take a step forward, she sets the ice cream on the floor and opens her arms to me, a choked sob forcing its way out. It almost makes me cry, just seeing her this heartbroken, and in an instant I'm running to her and snuggling into her side as she hugs me.

"What happened?" I will myself to ask, even though I still have no idea what it means for me. Maybe that's selfish, but if he's taking himself out of Mom's life, surely that has to mean he's removing himself from mine as well, right? And if he's just leaving without saying anything... God, that would ruin me, too.

Still, I wait to hear what Mom will say.

"He broke up with me," is all she says, through a long and tired sigh. She mutes the TV and then holds me tighter. I can feel that there's pure sadness controlling her every movement, and it crushes me.

"Why?"

"I don't know, he just... He said he didn't love me, and he wasn't feeling it anymore."

"That's all?"

"Uh huh... It was so sudden, too, like... I thought we were really getting along, and I just... I don't understand how he couldn't feel it... I felt all of it, and he just... He felt nothing. How could he feel nothing?"

I really don't know what to say anymore... It seems to me like Spencer really told her the truth and ended their relationship because he didn't feel anything for her anymore, but... I always knew he had to have felt something... I guess I just didn't realize someone could fall out of it so quickly.

The guilt overwhelms me then, when it dawns on me that I made him fall out of it so fast. I was there, taking up small moments of his time until, eventually, I'd taken up so much of it that it wasn't just his time I was stealing, but also his love. His fire, and his passion... Month by month, day by day, I was draining the love he had for my mom and distilling it to meet my own desires.

And now, here I am, in my mothers arms as she weeps over a man she truly loved, all because he and I were selfish and treasonous.

If Spencer decides he still wants to be with me after this, I really don't know if I could do it. Even after all this time... After all this trouble and guilt and glorious treason...

He could never really be mine.

———

Y/N,

I knew this day would come from the moment I met you. Of course, I didn't know how far my feelings would take me, but in the end I knew I would one day have to leave you and your mother behind.

Day by day my feelings for you grew stronger, and it wasn't until you told me you loved me that August Thirteenth that I realized I loved you, too. What we had was always dangerous, but by then my heart was focused solely on you, and I could feel your mother slipping from my grasp.

I pretended for as long as I could, but now you've taken up so much space in my brain that when Eve pulled me near, I almost sighed out your name instead. I knew then that no longer could I "keep up appearances," as I often like to tell you.

Maybe one day you and I can find our way back to each other, but for now, I think it's for the very best that we go our separate ways.

In my wildest dreams I will think of you fondly, and I can only hope that you might do the same.

Always Yours, Spencer

JUNE 19th, SEVEN YEARS LATER

There are so many things I'm thinking about when I come home tonight.

One: I'm a little tipsy and completely fucked out, which reminds me of that night I came home in the exact same state, only to find my mom's old boyfriend, Spencer, unable to sleep and to stop staring at my bare legs. The memory brings a smile to my face.

Two: My feet fucking hurt and I want to get these goddamned shoes off.

Three: The ghost of Spencer's smile when he saw me for the first time in seven years burns in the back of my mind, right next to the ghost of his hands caressing my skin like it had been the first time.

Four: How am I going to spend the rest of the summer back in town knowing what it feels like to have fucked him at all without an ounce of guilt attached to it?

Five: Am I going to tell my mom that I slept with her ex-boyfriend tonight?

Six: Fuck, I'm hungry...

My heels come off as soon as I step through the door.

The light is on, and I can hear Mom laughing in the kitchen with Adam from far away, which brings a fond smile to my face. I'm glad that she's finally happy, with someone who doesn't make me want to fall to my knees, thank you very much.

And truthfully, if I hadn't ran into Spencer at all tonight, I'm not sure I ever would have thought about that whole situation again— It was fucked up, he ended up leaving both of us, and Mom was so deeply devastated after their breakup that I didn't have the heart to tell her I missed him too. I just buried it deep down and tried to move on right alongside her, eventually erasing his memory from my mind, body, and soul.

Well, almost.

There were days, obviously, where his letter hummed inside my pillowcase where he left it, whether I brought it to college or kept it at home, or it sat soundly in my new apartment. His words were always there, spilling into my dreams and dancing with me through our memories; tangled tongues and limbs, wild nights and passionate mornings...

I'd wake up feeling hot to the touch and missing him completely.

Thankfully those days were few and far in between, and for a while I'd stopped thinking of him altogether.

But of course, it turns out that Spencer Reid is in fact, pretty damn inevitable.

That bar downtown was packed, so it was a wonder I'd even ran into him of all people in the first place. What he was doing there I didn't know. And neither do I now, because from the moment we laid eyes on each other, it was this constant state of shell-shock and fire, nothing else. He asked briefly about Mom, I told him she'd been married for four years, and then he joked about how he was surprised I hadn't tried to steal him from her.

Naturally, with that ever so playful look in his eye practically taunting me, I played to his joke and responded with a sultry smile, "The only one I ever wanted to steal was you, Doctor..."

The rest wasn't exactly a blur, but all I'm going to say is that we spent the rest of our time together at his apartment, "catching up on lost time"... And as much as I'd grown out of the submissive role sexually over the years, I found myself crawling back, submitting to him like I'd done it a million times over. And, really, I might as well have.

It's like we'd never stopped.

That being said, I declined his offer to stay the night and told him to give me a call some time before I left to go back to Seattle. Though, not without giving him a thousand goodbye kisses that were rather counterproductive.

Thinking about it makes my cheeks burn hot, though thankfully it's summer, and Mom won't have to question it. Though, if she does, I suppose I could keep it short and sweet and tell her the truth at the very least: that I met up with an old friend who showed me a good time.

"Hey'a, Sweetpea," she greets with a bright wave. She and Adam are obviously a little tipsy, more than me by the looks of it, but I pay it no mind. "How was you're night?"

"Great! Went to a few bars downtown, met up with some friends..."

"Oh, good, well we're glad you got back safe."

I snag a bottle of water and an apple from the fridge, then turn back around to see Mom and Adam snuggled in, sharing a smile that would make even the happiest person on the planet sick to their stomach.

Oddly enough, it reminds me of back then, when she was with Spencer, happier than ever and completely oblivious to what was going on in her daughter's life.

The thought makes my stomach flutter, taking me back to earlier in the night when he had his hands tangled in my hair and his mouth attached to my skin, spewing filthy words and praises that had me begging for more...

"I missed you, princess," he whispers, holding himself deep inside me. His fingers brush the matted hair from my face, revealing more of my saccharine smile and eyes that swim with mischief.

"I missed you too," I whine, reaching out and grabbing handfuls of his ass, shoving him even farther inside me and wrapping my legs around him tighter. "...Daddy..."

Spencer loses all semblance of cool, pulling back and slamming into me with full force. I—

"Y/N?"

I blink away his memory, reminding myself of where I am and what I'm doing, finding Mom looking at me with a curious gleam in her eye.

"What are you thinking about?"

With a small smile, I nod in her direction. "Oh, uh... You'll never believe who I ran into tonight."

———

PERMANENT TAGLIST (tags not working are struck out):  @elldell1204 @muffin-cup @calm-and-doctor @slutforthegubes @rainsong01 @yourmisosoup @liveloudwriteloud @reidsconverse @la-vie-en-amour1 @edgycowboy666 @averyhotchner @centiaaa @lizziechaseee @coffeeandendlesswords @usuck @spenxerslut @ssacalumsg0lden @emilyprentisslittlewhore @takeyourleap-of-faith @reidyoulikeabook @spencerreid9 @b-a-utiful @jareauswifey @flipperpenguins @pansexualthing @donald4spiderman @awesomebooklover17​ @shemarmooresfedora @izraahh1 @bakugouswh0r3 @singularityjc @xoxospencerreid @thatsonezesty13 @big-galaxy-chaos @mggskneescrews @youabitchhhh @spencersjello @moonlight-2-6 @starrylang @foreveryoungxx3 @spencerreidscoffeecup @morganwilliams @emilyprsntiss @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @gubswh0re @mrsobrien888 @loveeee2134 @umbreonwolfy @ayla-1605

If you would like to be added to or removed from the taglist, feel free to message me or leave a comment and I’ll get on it right away!

[unwrittenlibrary]

be still my foolish heart (don’t ruin this on me)

Summary: bucky barnes doesn’t have very many people left in his life who care, but he has you... or; five times you and bucky show your love & the one time you finally say it. (bucky x fem!reader)

Words: 4.3K

Warnings: fluff & pining. no major spoilers of tfatws. 

Notes: hi! i was going to try and maintain separate accounts to keep my writing organized, but i am lazy and can’t switch back and forth all the time. so! here’s to me now being a multific blog! i hope this does not upset my current followers (and maybe brings some new ones in) this was originally posted my ao3 . happy reading! 

I.

You’re the only person who calls him James. It fluctuates between Buck and James, but either way, you’re the only person allowed to call him either.

He thinks his name just sounds so pretty coming from your mouth. He doesn’t want to hear anything else. Doesn’t really want you to call him Bucky because then it won’t sound right when anybody else does.

So you’re the only person that calls him James. The only person he lets call him James.

“James.” You say softly as he falls onto your couch. He’s got a black eye and a busted lip and he knows there’s nothing he can say to quell your worry. So he settles with a smile that causes a wince that makes you let out a breathless laugh. “I told you to be more careful.”

You sit on your coffee table across from him and lean forward with the washcloth in your hand. His eyes fall to his lap and he nods. “You should see the other guy.”

You shake your head tensely as you gently wipe at the dried blood carefully to avoid the bruise still forming. “James. I’m serious. You’re not invincible.” He raises an eyebrow and you sigh. “You may be a super soldier, but you can still get hurt. I hate seeing you hurt.”

You lean back and drop the cloth onto the table next to you. “I know, doll.” You shake your head at the nickname and he smiles. You had told him you thought it was corny, but as long as you called him James, he would call you doll.

And he knew you secretly liked the nickname.

The same way you knew he secretly liked to hear his name when you said it.

“I have some vaseline in the bathroom. We can put it on your lip and then you need to get some sleep.” You pull him by his hand down your hall.

He glances out the window of your bedroom before you pull him into the bathroom. “I don’t need to sleep, the sun is still out.” He says quietly as you search through your cabinet.

You look up sharply. “You need sleep. I’ll be right here, okay?” You stand up straight and lift some vaseline with a q-tip. “I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.” Your eyes focus in as you gently apply the vaseline to Bucky’s lip.

He has to force himself not to smile. The cut will be gone by tomorrow and this will have been all for naught as it won’t affect how it heals. He appreciates the comfort it gives him. He relishes in the warmth that came with your care and love for your friends.

You step away with a proud smile. “I think I’m supposed to do the protecting, doll.” He says quietly. He desperately wants to reach his hands out and settle them on your waist.

Feel the warmth through your worn out sweatshirt and pull you close. But he doesn’t, afraid of something but unsure of what exactly, so he smiles graciously.

“We protect each other, James. In different ways.” You say just as quietly.

It’s all Bucky needs to get a couple comfortable hours of sleep in your room.

II.

He calls you every night. Or at least he tries to when he’s not in DC. Sometimes they’re so busy he doesn’t get the chance.

Tonight was one of those nights. He stares desperately down at his phone, urging the time to change so it was earlier in the night. He couldn’t call now. Not in the middle of the night when he knew you were asleep.

“You gonna go to bed?” Sam asks quietly from his spot in the living room. He’s been sitting silently with Bucky since they returned to the hotel, but Bucky could tell he was exhausted.

Bucky nods. “I’ll sleep out here.” He says quietly and unwilling to claim a bed. He couldn’t sleep in one for a full night, he could barely nap in yours when you forced him to rest.

Sam frowns and they both know he understands Bucky’s fear of the too big and too soft bed sitting empty in the other room. But the man nods before disappearing into his room and shutting the door behind him.

Bucky rests his head against the back of the couch and begins to take deep breaths. His phone vibrates in his hand and his eyes widen when he sees your name flash across the screen.

He doesn’t hesitate to answer. “Doll? What’s got you up so late?”

You laugh quietly. “Just knew you needed me.” You say after a moment of silence. “We’ve got that telepathy. I know things.”

Bucky laughs softly. “Yeah? You just knew?” He finds himself believing your words, even though he knows the more likely scenario is that you couldn’t sleep either.

You sigh into the phone and Bucky shuts his eyes again. “Sam texted me, but I was already awake. I switched shifts with the night nurse today, so I’ll be awake all night.”

“You know you don’t have to call when you’re at work.” Bucky says quietly. “I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

You laugh. “I have a few minutes to myself while the other nurse mans the station. Most of the kids are asleep, so I can spare some time for you. Especially when you need me.”

Bucky nods for a second before realizing you wouldn’t be able to see it. “Thank you.”

“What’s wrong, James?” You ask in a whisper. He listens for a moment as you take a sip of something, probably your water, before deciding to answer.

“This is longer than I thought I’d be gone…” He trails off. Him and Sam were originally only supposed to be in New York for a few days, a week tops, but this mission had dragged on and it had already been almost two weeks. “I…” He trails off.

He missed home. Something he’d never thought he’d think of DC as. Brooklyn had been his home and he was only a bridge away. Brooklyn had been his home. Steve. Wakanda for a short period of time.

But Steve was gone. And he was no longer recovering under the Wakandans graceful care. Brooklyn was a distant memory and DC… Well DC had you. And at some point you had become home for him.

“I know.” You say quietly, like you understand his silence. You do, he supposes. You understand almost every part of him. You understand that he missed you and home , but that he still struggles to admit his feelings. “I miss you too, James.”

He doesn’t say anything in response, but he doesn’t really have a chance to. He hears a siren in the background then you rush out, “Shit. I have to go!” Then all that’s there is a dial tone. Bucky smiles though. You’re off to be a different kind of hero.

He sits in silence and lets your words wash over him. It was new having all these people who cared about him. Decades all alone and treated as a weapon made learning to let people in again a new kind of difficult.

But it didn’t feel as hard with you there to help, he thinks

III.

He has to force himself to keep his eyes open. His nightmares had been particularly awful this week, and now he was sitting beside your heavily asleep body.

He was stuck staring at the repeating trailer on the netflix screen. Logically, he knows he could close his eyes and rest his head against yours on his shoulder.

But he was terrified a nightmare would take over and he would wake you up with a jolt, or worse hurt you if it was particularly awful.  

So, he forces himself to stay awake and watches the movie trailer again. He thinks you would like the movie.

“Buck.” You mutter tiredly. His eyes snap to you and he finds your eyes open and staring up at him. “Aren’t you tired?”

He shakes his head gently, careful to not move you. You narrow your eyes and slowly sit up. “Come on, let’s go to bed. You can stay here tonight.”

Bucky hesitates as you stand. He watches as you stretch your entire body and has to force his eyes to his lap when your shirt rides up and your stomach shows.

He had never spent the night at your place. He had spent all day. Even napped at your place often when he came over in the afternoon and you forced him to rest.

He always left before you went to sleep though. So he could suffer through his dreams on his own. So he didn’t drag you down.

You look down at him with soft eyes. “Grab some water. I’ll be in my room, okay?”

“I can go home. I don’t want to intrude.” He answers. Bucky looks out your window and sees just how dark and dead the streets outside were. It wasn’t like he had anything to worry about walking home.

You’re shaking your head before he can even finish. “It’s late and you’re tired, I don’t want you getting hurt. Stay here.” The words are quiet but hold a fierceness that Bucky knows not to argue against.

He nods. “I’m gonna grab some water then.” The nerves coiling around his stomach is almost worth it when your face lights up and you nod excitedly.

The two of you split up in the hall. You moving towards your bedroom and him into the kitchen. After pouring a glass of water, he stands still for a moment and just studies the room.

Your counter is crowded. Different appliances pushed against the wall, ready to be pulled out and plugged in whenever you wanted. A utensil holder stuffed to the brim with spoons and spatulas that seemed to keep appearing. Mail piling up on the counter. A scrub top draped over the back of one of your barstools.

Your kitchen was crowded, but lived in and so very you that Bucky loved it. He loved you, he thinks almost hesitantly.

He pushes the thought to the back of his mind when you call his name out. He knew he cared about you deeply and he loved you as a friend but this feeling in his chest and the speed of his heartbeat makes him think maybe he’s started to feel more. Or maybe he always has.

He doesn’t want to ruin this though. So he pushes the thought away and makes his way towards your room. “I can sleep on the…” His words die on his tongue when he sees the small set up of blankets and pillows beside your bed.

You’re watching him nervously as you try to gauge his reaction. Bucky is stuck standing in stunned silence as he looks it over.

You’ve pulled out a thin duvet and placed it on the ground with extra pillows and blankets for him to lay on. “I remember Sam mentioning soldiers have a tough time sleeping through the night in a bed. Obviously you can sleep in the bed if you want but I just figured that…” You trail off and gesture towards the makeshift bed with a small flourish.

“This is…” He trails off. The warmth in his chest grows with each passing second and his heart races. “Thank you. This is perfect.”

A smile spreads across your face. “Good. Good. I was… I’m glad. And I’m right here if you need me. To protect you.” You say with a teasing glance as you crawl into the bed.

You lay on the side closest to where you’ve set up the floor for him. He laughs softly before moving towards his own space.

He’s still nervous to sleep in the same room. Still feels a little self conscious as he lays his head on the pillow and pulls the light blanket over him. But you don’t seem to really mind his presence as you make yourself comfortable above him.

He takes a deep breath. He definitely loved you.

And things like this gave him hope that you did, or maybe could, love him too.

Later that night he jolts awake with heavy breaths and you look down at him with worried eyes. He shakes his head when you open your mouth not wanting to talk about the dream.

It’s the same thing every time. People that he hurt who didn’t deserve it. The pain of his memories being erased. And he doesn’t want to weigh you down with his trauma anymore than he already has.

You watch him for a moment before nodding silently. Bucky thinks that’s the end of it but he’s shocked when your hand falls off the side of the bed palm open.

He glances up at you and you smile gently but say nothing. He reaches his right hand up and interlocks his fingers with yours.

It’s a little awkward and his arm tenses after a few minutes but it’s far too comforting for him to want to let go. Your hand tightens in his and Bucky finds it easier to fall asleep his hand intertwined with yours.

IV.

Bucky felt awkward in the hospital. He felt too hard and intimidating to be standing in the center of the pediatric ward waiting for you in your teddy bear scrub top and white bottoms.

“Excuse me?” He glances down when he feels a tug on his hand. There’s a young boy standing in front of him with wide eyes. “You’re friends with Captain America?”

Bucky hesitates for a moment before answering. “Yes.” He settles on saying as gently as he can.

He glances around in search of you. He had texted you when he arrived at the hospital and you had responded with a thumbs up, but he was assuming you had gotten busy in the time in between.

The boy squeals excitedly. “Is he here too? Can I meet him?”

Bucky shakes his head softly and kneels to be at eye level with the boy. “He’s home with his family.” When his eyes begin to water and his lip pouts, Bucky begins to panic. “But! I’m sure he’d love to visit soon! I can bring him! What’s your name?”

“Riley!” He looks up at the sound of your voice. A large smile spreads across your face at the sight of Bucky kneeling before the kid.  You say something to the nurse beside you before rushing down the hall towards them.

“Riley.” You place a gentle hand on his shoulder. “What are you doing out of bed? You’re supposed to be in bed.” You look down with imploring eyes and the young boy looks away with an embarrassed smile.

“But! It’s Bucky! He’s Captain America’s sidekick.” Bucky’s mouth falls open in shock at the boy's statement.

“Sidekick?” Bucky asks in an offended tone. “Well-“ He cuts himself off when you look at him with exasperated eyes.

“And he said he would bring Captain America in! To meet me!” The boy's excitement obviously leaves him ignorant of Bucky's offense at being called a sidekick.

“And I’m sure he will. But right now you should be in bed.” You say sternly. The boy nods dejectedly and allows you to lead him back into his room.

When you come back out a large smile spreads across your face at the sight of Bucky standing and wiping his hand against his pants.

He can’t help but reciprocate the same large smile. He drops the bag in his hand on the counter beside him and opens his arms as you slam into him with your arms around his waist.

“Thank you so much! I thought my night was ruined!” You pull away but don’t let go as you smile up at him. “We can eat in the cafeteria.”

You grab the bag before he gets the chance to. You turn to the nurse that was sitting and going through charts next to you and with a big grin say, “Page me if you need me, I’ll be in the cafeteria!”

The woman nods with a soft laugh before looking down at the computer. You take Bucky’s hand in yours and begin to pull him towards the elevator.

“I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this. I know hospitals aren’t your thing.” You say quietly as the two of you step in. You lean away and press the two button.

Bucky thinks for a moment that you’re going to let go of his hand now that you’re not leading him anywhere but you don’t. Bucky smiles at the thought of this becoming a normal occurrence.

Your hand just felt right in his.

“Anything for you, doll.” He says quietly. He glances at you quickly before looking back at the descending numbers. “You’re my best girl.”

You nudge him with your shoulder as you laugh quietly. “That sounds like a line right out of the forties.”

Heat rises to Bucky’s cheeks but he laughs along. “You can take the man out of the forties but you can't take the forties out of the man.”

The two of you look at each other before you both burst out laughing. When the elevator stops on your designated floor you pull him out with you.

“As long as I get to be on the end of all that forties charm, I don’t mind a bit.” You lean into his side and smile brightly.

Bucky looks away as his cheeks turn an even brighter red. You giggle quietly when he looks back down at you. “Yeah. It’s always you at the end of it.”

The two of you look at each other for a moment before you pull him into a crowded cafeteria. “Let’s eat before I’m paged back to my floor.”

V.

Bucky had grown more comfortable around you the longer you knew each other, but he still struggled to be fully comfortable with his arm.

It was a different arm, Steve had said once what felt like forever ago. He had rationalized with Bucky. His other arm had been attached to him and forced on him as a weapon. This arm had been made for him with peace in mind. It was untarnished. Mostly.

But a different arm didn’t change much for him. He had still caused so much pain with it. Was it really that different at all? His arm had always and will always be looked at as a weapon.

So he still wore long sleeves and a glove most of the time. Rarely let you see his biggest shame. You usually didn’t push. Sat on his right side. Held his right hand. You rarely said anything about it, it was almost like it didn't exist.

But, curiosity won out sometimes.

“Why won’t you let me see your arm?” You ask quietly one night. He’s sitting on one of your bar stools as you mix a pasta sauce in front of him.

It had been silent most of the night. You insisted on cooking your famous (at least that’s what you called it) pasta dish after not seeing him for a few days as a welcome home.  

Bucky looks up at you with shocked eyes. You had never mentioned wanting to see his arm. He had assumed you didn’t want to.

“I… I don’t know.” He says quietly. He taps his fingers, his flesh fingers, against the counter top nervously. You watch him with hopeful eyes waiting for a real answer to the question. “I guess it’s easy to pretend it’s not there when someone’s never really seen it.”

“Hm.” You mumble in response. You step away from the stovetop and move towards him. “Why would you want to pretend it doesn’t exist? It’s a part of you.”

Bucky looks down at the gloved hand in his lap. “Doll… It’s not… It’s an ugly part of me. Dark and violent. And when I’m with you I get to pretend I’m not that.”

You come to stand in front of him. “There are no ugly parts of you. There’s you. There’s dark and there’s hurt and traumatized parts, but no part of you is ugly. Because on the other end of those there’s bright and happy and healing. Growth. James Buchanan Barnes, I can’t emphasize how beautiful I think you are.”

You raise your hand to rest it against his cheek and force him to look up at you. He shuts his eyes and leans into it. “And I’d really like to see your arm. To know that part of you too, but I won’t make you show me. I want you to show me on your own time.”

Bucky lets himself relish in the softness of your hand against his cheek before leaning away. “Okay…” He takes a deep breath. “Okay.”

He begins to shrug out of his jacket when your hand comes to rest on his right shoulder. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I need you to know that.” You say quietly.

Bucky gives you a small smile. “I know… Doll, you’re the person I trust most in the world. I want you to know me. All of me.”

You smile down at him and take a step back to give him space. Bucky shrugs the jacket off quickly before he can second guess himself. The glove comes off next and Bucky feels strangely naked as your eyes trace over him.

“Buck…” You trail off. Your hand comes up before pausing. You look up at him with questioning eyes and he nods. Your hand comes to rest on his shoulder and you raise his sleeve up a tiny bit to look at the scars that litter his shoulder.

Bucky rarely looked at the scars there. Decades of the arm built by HYDRA had destroyed so much of his skin it had taken forever for Shuri to properly fix and build his new arm.

Your hand moves from his shoulder to the metal arm and your fingers trace over the plates and move through the lines of gold. You move your hand in silence. Slowly taking in the creation.

“This is beautiful.” You finally say quietly as your hand meets his. You interlock his metal fingers in yours and he pulls you closer. You look down at him with a sincere smile. “How could you ever think this is anything but beautiful?” You ask quietly.

Your other hand comes to rest on his cheek again. Bucky looks up at you and sees a flurry of emotions flicker in your eyes.

Part of him wants to pull you down and kiss you senseless. Show you how much he appreciates your never ending warmth.

But he can’t bring himself to ruin the moment. Finds that he doesn’t really want to. He enjoys being here intertwined with you.

And I.

He doesn’t hide his arm from you anymore. Finds himself shedding his jacket and gloves the second he’s inside your apartment.

You don’t really say anything, but he’s noticed the smile on your face whenever you notice him in his short sleeve shirt. He thinks one day he’ll be ready to go out without gloves on. He’ll wear short sleeves out in the summer instead of covering up with the jacket.

But now with you, it feels like progress enough.

You sit on his left most of the time now, like tonight, and hold his metal hand in yours like it’s flesh. It had taken some getting used to. He had flinched away the first time you’d done it, but now it felt almost like habit.

You didn’t seem to think leaning against his metal arm was uncomfortable at all. Never showed signs of discomfort when your head rested against his shoulder.

“I love you.” You say quietly. So quietly Bucky almost doesn’t hear it. He freezes for a moment before swallowing and nodding. He assumes you mean the words as a friend, he had heard you say them to Sam and your other friends from work.

“Me too.” He says just as quietly. He’s sure if he says the actual words you’ll see just how much he means them. How terribly in love with you he is.

But that doesn’t seem good enough because you sit up and place a gentle hand on his cheek that forces him to look you in the eyes.

“James, I love you.” You say the words with so much passion that Bucky knows without hesitation that you mean you’re in love with him. That you loved him as more than a friend.

Tears gather in his eyes as he nods. “I love you too, doll.” He laughs wetly as a smile spreads across your face. “God. I love you so fucking much it’s scary.”

You laugh too. “Good. I was so fucking scared. Buck, you’re my best friend. I… I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Bucky’s hand moves from his lap to your cheek before landing behind your neck. He pulls you in and when he kisses you and you kiss back he thinks he finally understands how much you love him.

Moments flash in his mind as you crawl onto his lap so you’re straddling him. Your constant patience with him. The gentle way you say his first name. The bright smiles and great excitement.

The ability to see the beauty in him.

You pull away with a deep breath and begin peppering kisses across his face. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” You say quietly.

Bucky shuts his eyes as he relishes in your affection. “I love you too.” He murmurs. You had become his home.

Somebody who could mend the crack caused by Steve’s departure. Different aspects of his life, yes, but you had helped him heal nonetheless.

He loved you.

And you loved him. You always had. It had just taken Bucky some time to understand how you showed it.

[unhealthyfanobsession]

Do you think you’ll continue with the lawyer Nessian fic. It was so amazingly written I’d love to read more! I love all your writing anyways I’ll be happy with anything❤️

Ok not *technically* a Drabble request BUT I’m not ready to commit to a full lawyer AU that happens in order however I did just drum up a part 2 that we’ll say is several years before the previous lawyer AU. Nessian teasing in a bar and Rhys being a dumbass.

FYI the lawyer Drabble I’m talking about can be found HERE.

“I’m in love,” Rhys slurred. Cassian, a decent bit bigger than his brother and two drinks behind him, had a gentle buzz so he could only surmise that his brother was well passed sober.

“Congratulations,” Cassian grinned, clapping his hand on Rhys’ shoulder. “May I lay eyes upon the future Mrs. Dumbass.”

Rhys stared at him flatly. Blew a laugh out of his nose. “She’s not marrying you, brother.”

Cassian snorted, casting his eyes around the elegantly decorated little lounge they’d stepped into for the night. Lounge, not bar. Because they were mature adults now looking to take the edge off after a long day of work, not college students looking to get fucked up.

It was different.

It was different because the cocktails cost $20 and were served in actual stemware instead of red solo cups. They were evolving. Growing. Cassian was a lawyer now and Rhys was supposed to be doing actual work for his dad’s company so… no more dive bars.

Now they frequented little lounges where accountants and lawyers and bankers sat in tailored suits and discussed… adult things.

It was all very civilized.

And yet here was his brother. Every bit the horny college student they were trying not to be. Oh well, old dogs and all that.

“End of the bar.” Rhys jerked his head to the left and Cassian grinned.

“Might be a little old for you, champ.”

Rhys wrinkled his brow and turned to look at the grandmother doing a crossword puzzle on the far left side of the bar. A martini glass in front of her. Good for grandma.

“Other end of the bar!”

Cassian smirked. He didn’t need to turn his head, since he’s noticed her the second she walked in, but he still did. Just so he could look some more.

“Ah, you mean the deliciously dishevelled leggy brunette with her suit jacket on the chair beside her who just ripped the pins out of her hair like they personally offended her and then laid them in a neat little pile beside her Kobo?

“Mmm,” Rhys grinned, “I’d like her to rip those fingers through my hair.”

Cassian rolled his eyes. “Go for it, brother.”

Rhys grinned wider. “I think I will.” He straightened up, ran a hair through his artfully mussed hair, and pulled on the lapels of his Gucci suit jacket until they were even again.

Cassian snickered into his Old Fashioned. Rhys could straighten his jacket all he wanted. He could pretend he wasn’t drunk all he wanted. It wouldn’t matter one bit.

Not with Nesta Archeron.

Nesta Archeron who hated men that stunk of trust funds and privilege more than anything else in this world.

This would be fun to watch.

Watch her try to ignore him at first. Eyes glued to the page of her book, hand reaching up to wave through the air like Rhys was an annoying fly she could swat away.

Rhys, to his credit, was a clever little bastard. He asked the bartender for a refill of her drink and set it down in front of her then sat himself one stool down from her.

He didn’t move her jacket to sit next to her, which would have had her going feral. He just sat there, waiting.

After a few moments Nesta let out an exacerbated sigh that Cassian could hear from across the room. There was his girl.

Well, not his girl. Not even a little bit his girl, but… someday.

Cassian decided that he was going to Marry Nesta Archeron the first time she kicked his ass up and down a negotiation meeting. It was a couple years ago now. He’d been young and new at his firm. She was young and new too, but the words learning curve were not in Nesta’s vocabulary. Everything she did, she did with perfection.

Including getting rid of men she didn’t want hitting on her.

She said something to his brother that made Rhys’ half drunk, cocky, smile fall halfway down his face.

Cassian would’ve given his left eye to know what she said in that moment. She had a knack for jumping at the jugular and Rhys… oh Rhys. So obvious.

After a few moments and the continual fall of Rhys’ face, Cassian decided it was time to intervene. He knocked his drink back and straightened out his own suit jacket. Armani, still overpriced and designer but not so obvious or try hard as Mr. Up On The Trends with his Gucci. Nesta appreciated classics.

Simple. Clean lines, solid colours, classic. Which was why it was so fun just how attracted she was to his half wild self.

Unlike Rhys, Cassian plucked Nesta’s light grey suit jacket up off the stool beside her and reached over her head to hang it on a coat hook at the end of the bar. Settling himself into the chair beside her like it was exactly where he belonged. Which it was.

She turned around with an indignant shriek and a fire-breathing snarl that narrowed into just a hard glare when she realized it was him. Touching.

“This guy giving you trouble, Nes?”

Rhys choked on his whiskey and Cassian fought his hardest to keep a straight face.

“I so don’t need your saviour complex right now, Cassian.” Nesta scoffed.

“No,” Rhys rolled his eyes. “She was doing perfectly well scaring off everyone in a 10 mile radius all on her own.”

Nesta smiled sweetly, “I was just playing your game.”

Rhys sputtered again. Looked up at his brother. “This devil woman that you apparently already know,” he glared, “is all yours. I’m going home.”

“Be sure to drink plenty of water!” Nesta sing songed after him. Rhys flipped them both off on his way out.

“What’d you say to him?”

Nesta smiled. A pretty, feline little thing. “He said he wanted to chat. Suggested 20 question, which is the lamest, oldest, crustiest line in the book. So I went first. Asked just how small his dick was that he felt the need to overcompensate with the swagger and the gratuitous displays of wealth. He thought he was quite clever to use his question to ask if I wanted to check for myself how not small his dick was and then I asked if his daddy never loved him and that’s where all of that machismo masking painfully obvious and deep seeded feelings of inadequacy and insecurity came from. I was going to offer him my friend’s number before you showed up. She’s an excellent therapist.”

Cassian laughed. Hard. For a very long time. He loved Rhys, but sometimes the kid could use a nice set down. It was always sweeter when delivered by a beautiful woman. Not to mention, Cassian himself had gotten the same ice cold rejection the first time he met Nesta. When he asked if she wanted to get a coffee and she looked at him like something she’d scraped off the bottom of her shoe. That Rhys was chased off so easily just proved he couldn’t take the heat.

“You know the walking trust fund, I presume?” Nesta boredly sipped the drink Rhys had bought her. And even that was somehow amusing.

“Only for the last couple decades or so,” Cassian grinned. “He’s like a brother to me.”

“Explains a lot.”

“Your insults are more impactful when you clarify which person is being insulted.”

“I was going for the two birds one stone method.”

“In that case, consider me wounded, sweetheart.”

Nesta scoffed, “Unfortunately not mortally.”

“Oh Nesta, if I weren’t here you’d die of boredom and you know it. No one else can run you up and down the courtroom like I can.” Now. Cassian grinned as he watched the word flash across her eyes. He’d never live that first blunder down.

Nesta rose an eyebrow. “Bold of you to assume you present any challenge whatsoever.”

Cassian signalled for another drink and leaned forward. “Alright, I’ll bite. Who in this entire city can give you more of a run for your money?”

“Vanserra.” Nesta looked him dead in the eye. And managed to keep a straight face. As if that wasn’t the funniest fucking thing he’d heard all day.

“Oh yes, Nepotism and Nepotism LLP certainly has us all shaking in our boots,” Cassian blew out a breath. “What are you working on now?”

“I’m working on upholding attorney-client privilege.”

“So, the Suncurser merger.”

Nesta looked up. “How did you-”

“Helion and I are old friends. I checked the zoning on the lots he was buying before the merger went ahead to make sure the expansion was even feasible. But, as you know, M&A isn’t my thing. So I may have… given him a referral.”

“Are there any rich playboys in this city that you aren’t friends with?” Nesta finished off her drink and pointedly didn’t signal for another. “And if you think I’m going to be grateful to you for sending this my way you’ve got another thing-“

“Helion is my friend.” Cassian repeated, cutting her off. “He believes in this merger and he wants it done right. You’re the best, Nesta. Why wouldn’t I send him to you?”

“It’s not just to get in my pants?” She narrowed her eyes.

Cassian laughed again. “Oh no, sweetheart. When you invite me into your bed it will have nothing to do with work. It’ll be because you’re tired of denying how much you want me.” Cassian leaned in closer, one hand resting on the back of her chair. “Tired of denying the thrill that shoots through your whole body when we lay into each other. In the court room or out.” His nose brushed against hers, just a little, and Cassian felt Nesta tense up. He smirked, mouth just inches away from hers. “Tired of denying how right this is.”

Nesta’s voice was rough, husky. “So your plan is to wear me down?”

Cassian smirked. “My plan,” his hand came up to stroke the silk covered expanse of her upper arm, “is to marry you, Nesta Archeron. But sure, we can start with wearing you down.”

***Feyre and Nesta look physically similar so you can’t tell me drunk Rhys wouldn’t hit on Nesta in a bar before realizing he’d made a terrible mistake and running away thank you***

Also tags yourself, I’m the grandma doing the crossword puzzle with a martini. She’s an icon and she is the moment.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Anything else, Mr. Barber?

Warnings: noncon sexual acts and rape, cheating, coercion, blow job, somniphilia, abuse of power, no edit.

This is dark!Andy Barber and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Andy Barber is fed up with his tardy assistant.

Based on these drabble requests: 

Andy Barber + somniphilia + “You’re late.” + Andy waking up the reader with sex. 

Andy Barber + losing a bet + “do it or I’ll make you.” + Reader bets on something she's confident about, and agrees (ig?) to go down on Andy if she loses. When she inevitably loses, she's reluctant… 

Andy Barber + “Do it or I’ll make you.” + abuse of power + Andy wants his cock sucked by his young assistant, but she's a little reluctant. 

Andy Barber + “Why are you crying?” + Somniphilia + Something where he forces himself on her and she doesn’t wake up until the end 

You knocked with your elbow before the voice came from the other side of the door, staunch and irritated. Fuck, you were late again. It wasn’t your fault, the cafe was crowded and your boss hated the vending machines river water. You let yourself in but Andy didn’t even look up as you entered.

You put the paper cup down as you greeted him, “Mr. Barber.”

“You’re late,” he kept his eyes on the folder in front of him.

“I got held up at--”

He took the cup and sniffed the brim. He scrunched his lips and sat up, his eyes meeting yours at last.

“Cream or milk?” he frowned.

“Milk, like always,” you wisped, your heart still beating from your frantic race to the office.

He took a sip and put it back heavily. He swallowed stiffly and cleared his throat.

“You sure?” he gave a fickle grimace, “tastes like cream.”

“I swear I ordered milk--”

“Just like you said yesterday you wouldn’t be late again.”

“I tried, I--”

“No more excuses,” he crossed his arms, “you’re late one more time and you owe me.”

“I’ll stay late tonight,” you offered.

“No, we’ll see,” he shifted in his chair, “if you can keep track of time, maybe we won’t have to.”

“I’m sorry--”

“You have work to catch up on,” he interrupted again and dropped his arms, he leaned back and grabbed a paper from the pile, “go on.”

You left and sighed as you closed the door behind you. You went to your desk, only a few feet from his office and took off your jacket. You really tried to be on time but Andy just didn’t seem to realise that his last minute texts for you to head down to the archives or to hit the coffee shop weren’t helping. That or he just didn’t care.

You booted your computer and fished around for a pen in your bag. Your leg jiggled as you thought about the next day, maybe if you left earlier you might avoid another slip-up.

☕

A week. A whole week and every day you were right on time. Andy couldn’t complain as you brought him his dark roast with milk and his documents in their acrid folders. It cost you some sleep and some early morning road rage, but he had nothing to gripe about as you met him with a smile.

It didn’t last. You hit a train at midtown and that threw your whole day off. Usually you missed it as the freight came at the same time every morning. The universe liked to see you fail.

Again you entered after a knock. Andy didn’t say anything as you set down his cup and you hesitated to leave as you waited for his reproach. Still nothing. You went to the door and his chaired squeaked.

“Before you leave tonight, we need to talk,” he snarled.

“Yes, Mr. Barber,” you pulled the door open.

“I need the Hanson files copied,” you heard him toss the envelope and you turned around.

“Will do,” you neared and took the manila casing.

“Collated and stapled,” he stared you down, “now go. I’m done wasting time.”

You retreated and flinched as the door clicked behind you. You pushed your head back and cringed. Fucking train.

☕

This time, Andy was late. It wasn’t unusual that his hearings ran long but you knew if you left, it would be worse. The elevator dinged and you watched the doors. He stepped out and bid a goodbye to whoever else was within. He didn’t even glance at you as he quieted and swept by your desk.

He snapped his fingers as he opened the door to his office and you stood. You felt like a dog, your tail between your legs as you followed.

“Close the door,” he said and you obeyed again.

He dropped his bag against his desk and sat. He rolled the chair back as he spread his legs wide and stretched his arms behind his head. He rubbed his eyes and his hands fell onto his thighs. He tilted his head and his jaw twitched as you faced him nervously.

“How many times do we have this conversation?”

“Please, there was a train--”

“Always something. The whole world is against you,” he scowled. “Well, I’m done with warnings. You were late and you owe me.”

“Mr. Barber--”

“Don’t worry, I’ve been thinking about it all day, how to settle this all,” his lips curved slightly, “we had a deal. You’re late, you pay.”

You were silent and slightly confused. You gulped and his fingers tapped on his pants. You winced as suddenly he gripped his belt buckle and unhooked it.

“Mr--”

“Get over here,” he said.

“Wha--”

“We’re done talking, so get over here and show me you want this job,” he sneered, “because it really doesn’t seem like you do.”

“No, I-- you can’t--”

“Do it or I’ll make you,” he shifted as he reached down his dress pants and pushed down his pale blue boxers.

“Mr.--”

“You make me real tired of repeating myself and if I have to again, this conversation and your time here is over,” his eyes bore into you and you wavered on your feet.

You took a careful step, waiting for him to stop you, waiting for him to tell you he was kidding. He didn’t and you took another and another until you were behind his desk. He turned his chair to face you and stroked himself above his open fly. Your lips parted as you couldn’t help but stare.

“I don’t have to tell you how to suck it, do I?” he taunted.

You inhaled and grabbed the desk as you got to your knees. He kept playing with himself as he wheeled closer. He angled his dick forward and tapped your lips as you bent over him. You let out your breath and opened your mouth. You wetted the tip with your tongue before you stretched your lips around it.

His hand fell from his dick and went to the back of your head. He urged you down and groaned as he felt the resistance at the back of your throat. You choked as he forced himself deeper and you breathed through your nose. His other hand went to your shoulder as he guided your motion, slowly at first.

The sloppy noise of your mouth filled the office and you gripped the top of his pants as you struggled to keep going. Your eyes watered and the droplets hovered along your lashes. He moved you fast and moaned as his fingertips swirled over your scalp.

“That’s it,” he said, “knew you must be good for something.”

You murmured around his dick and he hissed. Your throat constricted around him as you gagged and he shoved your head down over and over.

“Don’t make a mess now,” he purred.

He pulled you back and slammed you down all at once. He held you there and rolled his hips as he jerked and came down your throat. You let out a pathetic sputter and gasped as you gulped down his salty cum. Your throat milked his dick and he sighed as he eased out of your mouth.

You fell back and caught yourself on your hands. He rubbed his thighs and stared down at his wet cock, “whew, well, let’s hope you’re late again tomorrow.”

☕

You weren’t late again but that only seemed to make Andy’s temper worse. Even as you arrived before him, he seemed irked by your very existence. He got his coffee, his files, and anything else he could think to demand. You got your peace even if it wasn’t entirely that.

You were tired all the time. You made double sure to be at the office a full hour before your start and you even stayed late, just in case he wanted to punish you for leaving without his say so.

Several weeks passed but things didn’t get better, especially as each time you walked into his office, you felt him in your throat, heard his dark moans. 

That day was no different as you waited for him and his black jacket flapped against you as he brushed past you without so much as a good morning. You turned and followed him into his office and put his coffee down. He shook his head and sat.

He took a drink and grimaced. “Cold,” he muttered.

“Sorry, Mr. Barber, I--”

“Go,” he waved you off.

You swallowed your voice and went. You sat at your desk and heard a sudden splat and the hollow clatter of the coffee cup. Was he mad at you? About what? You were early everyday, you got him everything he asked for, you did your job, you lived at work… what more could he want?

☕

When his assistant wasn’t late the next day, Andy was smug. He’d taught her her place and gotten off in the process.

At first, he’d nearly slapped himself for the idea. He knew it was wrong but he was tired of her being late, tired of being unhappy about everything in his life. Laurie barely looked at him as she brought her work home, Jacob was too busy with his friends to need his dad, and this woman couldn’t even bring him his coffee on time.

It was a simple solution to two problems. It eased both his stress over his errant employee and the neglect of his marriage. It didn’t last, but she wasn’t late again. Even after a week, even after two, then three. His frustration returned and so did his need.

He couldn’t look at her. Everytime he did, he saw her on her knees, head bobbing over his lap, and heard those delightful noises. She made him want it again but he didn’t know how to get her again. It was easy to justify it with her missteps but when she behaved, it made him feel rotten.

That, however, did not keep him from getting hard whenever she called him Mr. Barber or her eye lingered on him a little too long.

He didn’t know what to do, so that day, he stayed late at the courthouse. He called the office and told her to go, otherwise she would wait for him. If anything, his lesson had been effective in teaching her the importance of punctuality.

But even as he drove home, he kept thinking of her. He stopped at the corner of his street as the streetlights turned on and stared down at the dark shape of Laurie’s car. He took out his phone and dialed.

“Andy,” Laurie answered.

“Hey, I’m sorry I’m late, things… I’m just all tied up. I’ll be a while,” he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against his knuckles as he gripped the steering wheel.

“Fine,” she answered curtly, “see you in the morning?”

“Uh huh,” he sat up, they both knew it was an empty promise.

He headed back to the office. He searched through the old filing cabinet and pulled out the resume; hers. He read the address at the top. He hoped she hadn’t moved since then. He keyed it into his phone and got out the doors right before the cleaners locked up.

He drove to her building and sat outside. He watched the front and as less people came, he knew he had to act. He reached behind his seat and grabbed the empty paper bag from his lunch. He puffed it up and took off his suit jacket. He went to his trunk and took out the hoodie he kept for emergencies.

He ran up the steps of the building as a woman unlocked the door. He waved to her and called out, “hey,” she turned back as the door buzzed and she opened it, “you don’t mind holding that? I’ve been waiting for an answer for twenty minutes and… he waved the bag, “it’s getting cold.

“Oh, whatever,” she let him grab the door and he smiled, enlivened by his own act.

“Thanks,” he followed and watched her disappear onto the elevators.

He repeated the number in his head, 310, 310, 310…

He took the stairs up to the third floor and left the bag against a railing. He stepped into the hall and counted the doors to hers. He listened through the wood, he could hear her television. He tried the handle but it didn’t budge.

He exhaled and reached into his pocket for his keys. He still had the pocket knife from the days when Jacob was in the scouts. He remembered the trick his dad had taught him, one of many he couldn’t forget. He unfolded the nail file and jammed it in the slot.

He wiggled and the door opened as the handle almost cracked in his grip. He peeked around and pushed inside. He expected her to gasp, maybe even to scream, but she didn’t even sit up.

The deadbolt was loose, broken from his intrusion. He put the chain in place instead and approached the back of the couch. Again he braced himself for her shock. She was asleep. The coffee table was littered with a styrofoam container, a wine glass, and a half empty bottle.

He stopped and stared down at her. He tucked away the knife and took off the hoodie. He paced, hoping she’d wake up and scare him out of what he was thinking off. He had come this far, hadn’t he? He couldn’t stop now. He wouldn’t.

He unbuttoned his shirt and as he got to the last, he paused. He should go home but what was there but a silent and sleepless night beside his wife. He folded the shirt over the chair and took off his leather shoes. He rolled off his socks and stood straight. He unbuckled his belt and pushed his pants down with his boxers.

He was hard and hurting. He went to the couch and sidled between it and the coffee table. He grabbed the wine bottle and swigged. For courage. His nerves were jittering as he looked down at her dark blue tee. It was longer and reached halfway down her thighs. He only ever saw her in her blouses and her skirts, a bit clueless but always put together.

He touched her leg lightly and cautiously bent it. She breathed loudly but didn’t rouse. He straightened her leg and reached under her shirt. He tugged the panties down and untangled them from her feet, watching her face with each move.

He moved her leg over the edge of the couch and got on his knees beside the other. He tickled along the hem of her shirt and bent over her, holding himself up on the arm as he stroked his dick. She was going to wake up.

He didn’t care, he needed to fuck her. He pushed against her and slid his dick back until he found her entrance. He watched himself as he thrust into her in a single motion. Her body jolted and she grumbled. He smelled the wine on her breath but she stayed asleep.

He rocked his hips and hummed at the sensation of her walls around him. He dipped into her over and over, a smooth rhythm as it got easier with each tilt of his hip. He focused on his dick gliding in and out of her as he grasped the collar of her tee in his hand.

He sped up as he felt the ecstasy bubbling inside of him. His flesh slapped against her loudly and her leg dangled against his thigh. He closed his eyes and pushed his head back as he let out a long groan. So close, so close, and all he could focus on was his climax, even as he heard her surprised voice and felt her hands bounce of his chest.

“Andy!” she cried out.

He crashed into her and she shoved against him. Her legs bent around him and she wriggled helplessly. She sobbed and he bucked one last time as he came. He spilled into her as her walls squeezed him.

“Call me Mr. Barber,” he purred as he held himself completely inside of her.

He opened his eyes as he heard her sob. He looked down and stroked her cheek. She turned her head away from him and smacked away his hand.

“Why are you crying?” he asked and pushed against her until she whimpered.

☕☕☕

Please reblog and leave some feedback if you enjoyed.

[naturalselection262]

staring contest [Levi X emotionless reader]

Warnings: fluff, angst and cursing

Word count: 1502

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Levi was pretty good at reading people, watching from afar, taking in very subtle things that most people wouldn't. over all he was just very observant but there was one person he just couldn't figure out.

(y/n) (y/l). it drove him mad, it made him resent you. no matter what you just wouldn't crack, your expression or demeanor never changed. you were like a living zombie. but when it came to the battle feel you were exceptional, your skills rivaled that of Mikasa's

you always kept to yourself, many people had attempted to befriend you, but to no avail. it was like you weren't fully present, floating along a stream of words unsaid. no one had ever seen you laugh, cry, get mad or even smile.

he hated it, he wanted to know what made you tick.

(y/n) pov:

my eyes jolted open from a restless sleep, not that I had gotten much in the first place. today would consist of the same skull numbing routine, eat, train, clean, sleep and repeat, and when we weren't doing that we were beyond the walls, wondering whos next, if I was next?

at this point I've seen too many of my comrades die to grieve anymore, I have no sadness left in me, I'm tired of caring, I'm tired of everything, but I keep pushing forward without even knowing what it is that drives me. before trost my sister was that reason, but she's gone now.

I made my way alone to the mess hall, I was usually always late so no one would really notice. I slipped in quietly and made some coffee before seating myself at an empty table. I rested my chin on the palm of my hand as I stared out the window to my right.

it was summer so it gave the open field a vibrant look, flowers of many colors scattered out amongst the field. the grass swayed softly in the breeze. it was beautiful

Levi's pov:

she looked peaceful, more relaxed than normal. lost in a world of her own, she pissed him off to no end but he couldn't help but admire her beauty. I didn't realize how long I had been staring until she turned her head, looking directly at me, we held eye contact for a moment, as if battling for dominance, waiting for the other to look away first. she did. I watched her quickly finish the rest of her drink before leaving the mess hall.

unluckily for Levi, Hanji had witnessed the entire ordeal, a large grin spread across her face but she decided to keep her lips sealed for now "what the fuck are you smiling at shitty glasses" I seethed "oh nothing, see you later shorty" she called dashing for the doors. "tch"

(y/n)s pov:

that whole stare down with captain Levi left you feeling a little awkward so you decided to spend the the remainder of your spare time out in the field. that hadn't been the first time you both held an unspoken staring contest, it felt like he was searching you, it sent chills down your spine, your knees felt weak but you didn't dare let it show.

you had gotten no further than a few feet down the hall when you felt someone grab your shoulder, your self defense mechanisms kicked in without even thinking and within seconds you had the person pinned against the wall, no, wait, it was just Hanji.

she let out a nervous chuckle as you let go of her, resuming your way down the hall, she wasted no time in following along side you. "hey (y/n) sorry to startle you" she said scratching the back of her neck "what do you want" I asked, not really in the mood for small talk.

"I was wondering if you could do me a favor and deliver some paperwork to Levi after breakfast" she said with a grin that weirded you out "why me? why not ask eren or something?" I questioned. "Levi put him on stable duty for the next week for fighting with Jean, so you have to do it" she smiled "fine" I said curtly "great" she said, clapping her hands together "come to my office after breakfast and ill give you the paper work" she called running down the hall. once I was alone I let out a groan, running my hand through my hair 'why me'

(time skip to after breakfast)

I knocked on Hanji's door waiting for her to give you the god damn paperwork, the sooner I got it over with the better. she answered the door with her usual grin, "here you go, there's quite a lot there so ask him if he needs help with it" she said dumping the large stack of paper into my arms "whatever"

little did (y/n) know, Hanji added her own paper work into the pile, if it didn't work and he doesn't want her to help him with it then at least I don't have to do any Hanji thought watching her walk down the hall.

Levi's pov:

I was just about finished all my paper work hoping to just relax afterwards until there was a knock at the door "name and business" I spoke in a harsh tone "cadet (l/n) sir. Hanji asked me to bring you some paper work" well there goes my down time I thought. "come in"

she stepped in closing the door with her foot, I watched her every movement with a scowl. she placed the large stack on my desk and I almost chocked on the tea I was drinking when I saw how much paper work there was 'fuck'

"uhh yeah Hanji said you might need some help with it" you said with that same nonchalant look.

(y/n)s pov:

for a moment he just stared me up and down. my palms felt sweaty. suddenly feeling a little self conscious until he pulled out a pen and handed it over to me, I just stood there for a moment, looking down at the pen.

"are you just gonna stand there?" he asked clearly seeming irritated. without a word I sat at the chair across from him, taking at least half the stack I got to work hoping that maybe I'd  be done by lunch but who am I kidding, that was wishful thinking.

we had been working in silence for about an hour now, to say the tension was thick would be an understatement. I would occasionally glance up at him, he was a lot more handsome up close. his hair looked so soft you'd just love to run your hand through it, but opening up to someone was enough to deter you from even wanting to try get close to him. you'd just continue to admire from afar and you were just fine with that.

you had been staring at him too long though because he noticed, your eyes widened ever so slightly, he stared straight back at you. it felt like his eyes pierced your very soul. "what is your problem?" he spat. "excuse me sir?" you asked "you piss me off, you know that" he said

"sorry sir" was all you could say, taken aback by his harsh words, but you knew better than to show it, you wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"but with all due respect sir, you piss me off too" you continued. now it was his turn to feel shocked, the look on his face was priceless, his mouth hung open, eyes widened in surprise. humanity's strongest, lost for words. you couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle. "close your mouth, you'll catch flies" you said, going back to your normal stoic behavior, clearing your throat.

Levi's pov:

her smile, her laugh, it was so genuine and beautiful, he looked at her in awe for a few moments, but still, he couldn't believe she had the audacity to say that to his face. he couldn't help but smile himself. 'she has guts I'll give her that.'

"is that so?" I questioned, standing up walking over to her side, looming over her. "mind explaining why?"

now it was her with the shocked expression, mouth opened slightly. he smirked placing his finger under her chin, closing her mouth. "You'll catch flies" he mocked.

"I can't figure you out and it annoys me" was all she said. avoiding eye contact

she felt the exact same way I did about her? I couldn't help but smirk again.

"you look pretty cute when you smile, you should do it more often" she immediately blushed in response. "I-I-" she sighed with irritation "fuck it"

she softly placed both her hands on my cheeks, crashing her lips onto mine, I stood there wide eyed for a moment before returning the kiss, it was soft but passionate. she pulled away blushing more profusely, I'm sure I probably had a pink tinge on my cheeks.

"I think I've figured you out" I said giving her a smug smile

[crimsonrose-monika]

[Tokyo Revengers Fanfic] By Your Side, Always

If you prefer AO3 format, here’s the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33160153

Title: By Your Side, Always

Pairing: Mikey & Takemitchy, Implied Mikey / Takemitchy, Takemichi / Hinata, Open to interpretation.

Tags: Manila Future Timeline Mikey, Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Tenjiku Arc, Mikey Needs a Hug, Song-Inspired Fanfic

Synopsis:

If Toman had gone bad, again and again, then it meant that Mikey’s heart had been corrupted, again and again. No one could reach Mikey. Takemichi could. He was by Mikey’s side, so why?

Only that he wasn’t. Takemichi wasn’t by Mikey’s side.

Realization slammed into him, fast and so unexpected that it almost knocked the breath out of his lungs.

Witnessing the dark future that awaited Mikey and the rest of Toman, Takemichi took a leap. He desperately wanted to save the invincible Mikey from himself. This time, he decided to stay.

This fanfic is inspired by a song 歩いていこう by いきものがかり. Parts of the song was inserted in the story. I translated the song and polish the translation myself to fit the English phrasing. (Putting my rusty Japanese to work here.) Feel free to listen while reading.

By Your Side, Always

“All my life, I’ve been suffering.” Mikey whispered, tears pooling in his eyes, but he smiled, as if his death was the best outcome he could ever wish for.

Takemichi felt his heart smashed into pieces as he watched life rapidly seeping out of his dear friend. Tears didn’t suit Mikey. A smile did, but not like this. Not the small tilt of his lips that amplified the crushed hope that lurked behind his deep, dark eyes. The best smile for Mikey was the full, satisfied one that smoothed the cease of his brows and made him shine brighter than anyone.

Without thinking, words rushed from Takemichi’s mouth. He didn’t care that he had been trying his hardest to not reveal his ability to anyone. He didn’t care what side effects admitting to time leap could cause. All he could think of was Mikey’s resignation. He wanted to erase that look from his eyes. He was to give this man hope.

What could have happened that made the invincible Mikey, who had faced down an overwhelmingly outnumbered fight with his back straight and his shoulders squared, felt like his death was the only happiness?

“Thanks, Takemitchy. Your words comforted me.” Mikey’s voice was calm. He stared up at the man whose eyes reminded him of sunlight hitting the sea surface, committing them to his last memory. Takemichi was crying again, ever the crybaby. Even when Mikey had held him at gunpoint, Takemichi still cried for him. “Even if you’re telling me lies...I’m happy.”

Blood from his head wound flowed into his eyes, but Mikey paid it no mind. In his last moment, he wanted to treasure the last member of Toman who didn’t lose their life by Mikey’s hands.

Takemichi’s tears fell onto Mikey’s shoulder blade. As his body slowly lost its heat, the warmth of Takemichi’s touch became clear. How long had it been since he had felt another person’s gentle heat on his skin? When was the last time Mikey had any kind of physical contact that lasted for more than a few seconds that it took his feet and fists to take down opponents? He had forgotten what it felt like to be close to someone.

“Your hands are so warm.”

Mikey’s eyes clouded over. All awareness escaped him as his breathing slowed to a stop. Feeling like the battered floor under his knees gave away, Takemichi brought Mikey close. As light shone through the time-worn holes in the ceiling, illuminating Mikey’s lifeless form like a silent eulogy, Takemichi’s memory of the man played behind his eyes.

“From now on, you’re my bitch!” Mikey had confidently declared the first time they had met, after he and Draken defeated Kiyomasa with ease.

“I’m going to create an era for delinquents,” Mikey had proclaimed his dream with determination alight in his eyes. At that moment, Mikey had stood with his feet planted firmly, ready for anything the world would throw his way.

“Boo!” In the bath house, after the fight with Mobius’ remnants at the festival, Mikey had smiled widely and played like a kid.

“You’re strong, Takemitchy,” Mikey, who was stronger than anyone, had acknowledged his respect for the crybaby.

Reliving the memories of Mikey brought a different kind of resolution to Takemichi. He clenched his fist to steel himself and plunged into the stream of time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Takemichi hated funerals. As an adult, he understood that death was an inevitable state of humans. But recently, he had attended too many funerals—had seen too many deaths—in all timelines.

Hinata, Atsushi, Baji, Mitsuya, Mikey, Emma, Izana, and even Kisaki, whose death Takemichi had thought wouldn’t make him feel anything. How wrong he was.

Why did people keep dying despite his best effort?

During the entirety of Emma’s funeral, Mikey didn’t cry. He stared at Emma’s portrait, where she laughed brightly without a care in the world, lost in his own thoughts. Sometimes Takemichi caught a glimpse of silent despair and anguish that he had seen swirling behind the future Mikey’s eyes.

It scared him.

Emma’s death wasn’t the trigger to Mikey’s darkness, Takemichi knew, because the leader of Toman was strong. Mikey would be sad. He would grieve, he would see the world crumbling to dust before him, and he would be lost, but he would come back. Just like he had come back to face Izana with a heart that was still bleeding, ready to love another brother despite the fresh pain that was etched into his soul.

But even the strongest man could fall once the loss of his precious people piled up in such a short time. In the span of Mikey’s teenage life, he had lost three out of four family members and half of the starting members of Toman, all of them sudden, without time to prepare or make peace. Some people would come back—Pah-chin and Kazutora—but the rest were gone forever.

Even to Takemichi, a somewhat outsider-turned-friend—because they were all his friends, but he would never compare his care for them to Mikey’s—who took in the situation with great shock that clung to every fiber of his body, Mikey’s life was like a cruel, heartless joke.

How could a person experience so much pain so young?

It was already a miracle that Mikey retained his sense of self this long.

After the funeral, Takemichi walked with Hinata, but they couldn’t seem to go anywhere. In the end, they continued walking mindlessly across the town. He registered the same store that they had walked past twice before, but he couldn’t bring himself to think. Hinata didn’t say anything either. She walked beside him wordlessly, offering her presence to Takemichi’s fleeting awareness.

They stopped at an empty park, where they sat on the swings as silence stretched. The sky already turned dark when Takemichi spoke.

“I couldn’t change Emma’s death. I was right there, but I still couldn’t do anything.”

Hinata listened intently, like she always did. Takemichi could feel her patient gaze on the side of his face even as he stared down at his hands that clasped together on his lap.

“In the future, Mikey-kun lost himself. After Emma died, Mikey-kun fell into darkness. He told me that he’d been suffering all his life.” Takemichi’s voice shook at the end as he remembered the future Mikey’s existence that screamed out to him in misery, begging him to put his own life to an end. “I knew all that, but I still failed.”

His breath stuttered as the beginning of a sob formed behind his throat. His eyes were hot.

At this rate, Mikey is going to end up the same. Toman members would all die. Nothing would change.

“I’m tired, Hina-chan. I’m tired of going back to find out that it is another bad future once again. They deserve to be happy, but the world keeps throwing pain at them. It’s not fair.”

Even as he blabbered on, Takemichi berated himself for talking like a child. It wasn’t fair? The world was never fair, but it was being particularly cruel to all his loved ones.

Takemichi roughly wiped his tears with the sleeves of his shirt.

He had been thinking. He had been changing the past. He had prevented Draken’s death that would change Mikey, but then Hinata and Atsushi died. Draken was on a death row. He had conveyed Baji’s intention to Mikey and stopped him from killing Kazutora, but Hinata and Chifuyu still died. Even worse, it was him who ordered her death. Then, he made sure that Hakkai didn’t join Black Dragons. It should have been the best future yet, but everyone died, and Mikey was living a life he would rather not have.

No matter how many times Takemichi changed the past, there still wasn’t a single future where everyone was happy. In the face of repeated failures, he started to think that maybe he had been looking at it from the wrong point of view.

When he was lost in his head, Hinata spoke up for the first time.

“Takemichi-kun, what do you think you are to Mikey-kun?”

What a strange question.

Takemichi lifted his head and looked at his girlfriend. Hinata smiled at him even though her eyes were red from crying at Emma’s funeral. She had grown quite close to Mikey’s sister.

When he didn’t say anything, she looked away and spoke what had been on her mind. “Hina might not know the people from Toman as well as Takemichi-kun, but Hina has been watching when you’re with them. Mikey-kun cares about you. There are many times when you said ridiculous things, Takemichi-kun, but he listened to you.”

Hinata started pushing her feet into the ground, propelling herself gently back and forth on the swing absentmindedly as she organized her thoughts. When she spoke next, she seemed like she knew something about Mikey that Takemichi didn’t. Her big round eyes looked straight ahead, away from Takemichi, but her voice made its way into his heart.

“Your voice reached Mikey-kun, again and again. You brought him back. You mean more to Mikey-kun than you think, Takemichi-kun. Maybe there is something you can say to him that will remind him to not give in to his darkness?”

Takemichi remembered. When he had said that he would become Toman’s top member to Mikey’s face, he was serious and determined. But deep down, he knew how ridiculous it had sounded. If it had been anyone else, Takemichi would surely get a jeer in the face. He wasn’t good at fighting. He got more punches in his face than he had landed. Anyone would have thought that he was a pushover.

But not Mikey. He had taken Takemichi’s words seriously and never once laughed at him for aiming high. The invincible Mikey had said that Takemichi was stronger even though Mikey could defeat him with one kick. Every time that Mikey almost lost himself in grief and impulse, Takemichi’s sincere words brought him back to sense.

If Toman had gone bad, again and again, then it meant that Mikey’s heart had been corrupted, again and again. No one could reach Mikey. Takemichi could. He was by Mikey’s side, so why?

Only that he wasn’t. Takemichi wasn’t by Mikey’s side.

Realization slammed into him, fast and so unexpected that it almost knocked the breath out of his lungs.

“Could it be that no matter what I did, Toman still went bad because I wasn’t there?”

When Takemichi jumped back to the future, what was left in this timeline was the young Takemichi who didn’t intimately know Mikey’s suffering. He didn’t want to admit the cowardice of his younger self, ashamed at how weak he had been until Hinata’s death in the first timeline had opened his eyes, but the young Takemichi wouldn’t be able to scold Mikey like he had been asked to. Only the future Takemichi could, but he wasn’t here when Mikey needed him.

That must be why. There was no one to pull Mikey back from the brink because Takemichi who could wasn’t there with him.

If that was true, then he could just stay to make sure that Mikey wouldn’t go down the wrong path. He would act as Mikey’s moral pillar, like he had been asked to after the fight on Christmas Day. That way, instead of jumping back to find that one or all of his friends met their premature ends, he could be with them and make sure that they were okay.

When Hinata tore her eyes from the park to look back at Takemichi’s face, she knew that her boyfriend had come to some form of conclusion. She wasn’t sure what that decision was, but she knew him. Takemichi was the crybaby hero. His determination to protect was more fierce than anyone. So she waited.

“Hina-chan, this time, I’m not going back to the future.”

Hinata wouldn’t say that what she heard was anything she had expected, but at the same time, now that it was said out loud, it was the most Takemichi-like answer.

“Will it be okay not to go back?” She asked, a little worried about what would happen to the body of the future Takemichi if his consciousness was here. Takemichi had told her that he came from the future to fix things and go back when whatever he was here for was corrected, but he didn’t go into how the time leap worked.

“It should be fine,” Takemichi replied. He seemed a little unsure as he spoke, but then he pressed his lips together and held his head up high. His blue eyes that were illuminated under the street light shone brightly. “When I’m here, my body in the future was on autopilot. Even if something happens, I’m still alive here. I can continue to make changes so that nothing bad will happen to any of us in the future.”

“Is that how it works?”

“I’m not sure, but I think it is my best option.”

Hinata watched Takemichi in silence. Time passed, and Takemichi was starting to think that maybe he got something wrong and Hinata didn’t agree when she nodded to herself and gave him a sparkling smile.

“Hina will support Takemichi-kun no matter what you choose,” she said with finality, as if it had been predetermined.

Takemichi felt incredibly lucky to have Tachibana Hinata, a girl whose heart was unmovable and understanding, in his life. “Thank you, Hina-chan.”

“Also, please work out your feelings.” At that very moment, Hinata looked like someone who held the secret of the world. She seemed to know Takemichi better than he knew himself. “Hina will be waiting okay?”

Again, Hinata said a cryptic message that Takemichi didn’t quite understand. But he nodded.

歩いていこう 歩いていこう

Let’s walk forward. Let’s walk forward.

僕は「今」を生きていくよ

I will continue to live in the “present.”

君がくれた言葉はここにあるよ

The words that you told me are right here with me.

そうだよ 歩いていこう

Yes, let’s walk forward.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later, Mikey called Takemichi to meet at the Musashi Shrine. He told Takemichi to wear his Toman black uniform, which Takemichi easily complied. March temperature had warmed up a bit from the freezing February, on its way to welcome spring, but it still wasn’t anywhere near warm enough to go out without bundling up. Good thing that Toman’s long sleeves and baggy pants uniform made it simple to slip another layer or two underneath.

When Takemichi arrived, Mikey was already there, playing with the puff of his breath that the cold, humid air produced. He wore his usual white long-sleeve shirt underneath his coat uniform that draped over his shoulders. Takemichi wondered if Mikey didn’t feel cold in this kind of weather.

Takemichi told Mikey all about the future, from the very beginning when he was pushed onto the train rails. What he had changed up until now and its result in each timeline. He sobbed when he apologized for failing to save Baji and Emma, and broke into a cry when he told Mikey what had happened to his future self in Manila.

Mikey’s face was carefully blank as he listened. Takemichi couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but there was something that had been bothering him since he took his first step onto the stone paved path of the shrine. Mikey’s posture was taut, like a string that was stretched to the point of snapping. His words and his every move seemed calculated.

Takemichi didn’t like it. So when he finished the story and Mikey fell silent, eyes trained somewhere faraway, he announced his intention.

“Mikey-kun, I’m not going back.”

Mikey’s dark eyes snapped to him, surprised. His brows ceased as he contemplated. “If you’re worrying about everyone, I give you my words, Takemitchy. I’ll definitely protect everyone’s future. Hina too. I’ll make sure that the same future won’t happen, so you don’t have to be so reluctant to part ways.”

Mikey smiled, the same smile as that time when he said Toman would never lose because he was here. The one that was both confident in the outcome and self-assured in his own abilities. But Takemichi saw it, a hint of deep emotion that Mikey tried desperately not to show others. Takemichi would never have noticed before, but after witnessing the future in Manila, he became aware of little clues and changes in expressions that Mikey’s body couldn’t hide.

Toman’s invincible leader always smiled when faced with difficulties. But that wasn’t the smile that Takemichi wanted.

歩道橋の向こうに 冬のまちが見えたよ

On the other side of the overpass, I could see the city in the winter.

ひとかけらの孤独を手に 僕は明日をつないでいる

With the fragments of loneliness in my hands, I am reaching toward tomorrow.

「こころで笑えるかな」いつかの声が聴こえた

“Can you smile with all your heart?” I heard a voice from some day.

白い息が空に消える

The breath vapor disappears into the sky.

寂しくはない 駅へ急ぐよ

I’m not lonely. I’m rushing to the station.

Takemichi knew that Mikey would keep his promise. As a leader and as a friend, Mikey treasured the trust that Toman had put in him and would do his best to respond in kind. He wouldn’t break his promise.

But protecting everyone alone was a task that even adults struggled to accomplish. No matter how powerful Mikey was, he still needed a place or a person whom he could fall onto when he needed a break. Takemichi was determined to be that person. He would help Mikey protect everyone and carry parts of his burden. He didn’t want to see the hopelessness in Mikey ever again.

“I know, Mikey-kun. But I want to stay. I want to be with you and the rest of Toman.” He explained, staring at the deep dark eyes to convey the force of his sincerity. “I want to help you. Please let me help you protect everyone’s future. Please let me protect your future.”

Although Mikey didn’t act like he needed it, his future was also important and deserved to be protected.

Takemichi hoped that his expressive eyes would persuade Mikey for him, to let him know that Takemichi wouldn’t back down. Like it had played out when Takemichi had announced his intention to become one of Toman’s top leaders, Mikey would have to acknowledge it.

Takemichi could see Mikey’s resolution wavered. He reeled in his weakness a heartbeat later, but that short moment was enough for Takemichi to catch on.

“What about Hina?” Mikey pressed, resorting to bringing up a girl whom he knew Takemichi would throw his life away for if it meant she would live well. “She’s waiting for you in the future.”

Despite the reminder, Takemichi didn’t back down. “I have Hina-chan here too. I told her my decision, and Hina-chan said she would support me.”

Mikey bit his lips, his eyes straying sideways. It seemed like he had his plan, but whatever that plan was, it was being shaken by Takemichi’s words.

“I have everyone I ever want here with me, Mikey-kun. I want to stay. Not just for you and for Toman, but for myself too.”

It was as if the wall that Mikey had built around himself crumbled down like glass. In the first place, Mikey objected to Takemichi staying because he felt that the other was putting others before himself. He didn’t want Takemichi to throw away his chance to live as he wanted just because he was worried about the people in the past.

But Takemichi had said that he was staying for himself too.

The stubbornness that lined Mikey’s lips eased into a soft smile. “You already made up your mind even before I said anything.”

Takemichi grinned at his Toman leader. “I’m sorry,” he offered without really feeling sorry.

There was the sound of motorcycle engines at the edge of Takemichi’s hearing, a sound that had wormed its way into Takemichi’s heart and oddly assured him of belonging and comfort. It got louder by the seconds, until it stopped somewhere to his right, in the shrine’s parking lot that was obscured by a row of trees. Dull marching steps replaced the engine sound as a crowd of black-cladded people strode up to the stairs where Takemichi and Mikey were standing.

Something cold fell on the tip of Takemichi’s nose, before another one planted itself on his forehead. He looked up at the darkened sky and saw white flakes falling down in fluttering dances.

“It’s snowing...” Takemichi muttered.

“Strange, isn’t it? The weather forecast said it wouldn’t snow.” Holding his palm up to collect a small puff of white frozen water in his hand, Mikey gazed at it as the hundred members of Toman fell into neat rows behind their respective captains. Mitsuya and Smiley were still in their wheelchair, but they grinned widely.

「帰らないと決めたんだ」

“I have decided to not go back.”

はじまりを 告げるように 雪が降り始めた

As if to mark the beginning, snow started to fall.

“Thank you, Takemitchy. I have decided.” Mikey straightened his back and squared his shoulders, the very picture of Tokyo Manji Kai’s invincible leader. There was a gleam in his eyes that made Takemichi nodded and went down to his place right in front of Chifuyu and the rest of the first division.

Mikey looked over them confidently as he grinned. “Listen up, everyone!”

The entirety of Toman snapped to attention as the voice of their leader carried through the air. Soft snow continued to fall gently to the ground.

“We have faced a lot of hardship in our fight with Tenjiku, but we overcame them and emerged victorious. Toman is now Japan’s top gang!”

As he listened, Takemichi felt his chest puffed up in pride, and he was certain that every single person who carried Toman’s manji on the back of their uniform felt the same.

“We’ve created an era that will be handed down to generations to come, an era for delinquents that we have dreamed of! Thank you everyone for sticking with me and making Toman the best gang out there. But our dream doesn't end here. Toman will continue to show the world the way of delinquents we uphold! I hope that you all will be with me on this journey.”

Then, Mikey relaxed his posture and spoke a little more comfortably. “To let you all recover from the fight, there won’t be a gang meeting for a while. I will end the meeting here. Be careful while you go home and rest well.”

They bowed, deeply and respectfully, to the leader who had led them through many hardships and who had lost so much, before the crowd slowly receded along with the booming sound of bike roars.

The captains and vice-captains stayed for a while longer, discussing among themselves the outcome of the Kanto Incident and speculating about the future that awaited Toman, but gradually, they bid farewell one by one until the only occupants on the shrine ground were Takemichi and Mikey.

“Today, I called everyone here to announce the disbandment of Toman.” Mikey confessed, a slight smile still on his lips as he scanned the spacious ground that was fully occupied a mere moment ago. “I thought about it, the future you told me. No matter what timelines, something always goes badly. The root of it all is me. Toman goes bad because I go bad. I thought that by disbanding Toman, everyone will still be able to live a happy life even when I inevitably fall into darkness.”

Takemichi almost stopped breathing. He had a hard time believing his ears. Mikey loved Toman. This gang was his pride and dream, but he was ready to throw all that hard work and passion away to ensure that everyone he cared about would have a good life.

“Mikey-kun...”

“But you give me hope. You changed my mind,” he continued, tearing his focus from the ground beneath the steps, and looked at Takemichi with pleading eyes. “That’s why, Takemitchy, when you think I am losing myself. You definitely have to scold me and bring me back, okay?”

Mikey’s stability was his responsibility now, but Takemichi was up to the task. He clasped his hands behind his back and looked straight at his leader and friend. “I will, Mikey-kun! Definitely!” He yelled confidently, putting all his determination into the sentence that he uttered.

Takemichi was rewarded with a big, wide smile that he had been longing to see on Mikey’s face. Mikey’s eyebrows smoothened, losing the sharpness that had permanently been etched onto them for a few seconds as the corner of his eyes relaxed with the movement of his cheeks. This Mikey was glowing, moonlight reflecting on the snow in his hair.

“You’re my hero, Takemitchy.”

歩いていこう 歩いていこう

Let’s walk forward. Let’s walk forward.

僕は「今」を生きていくよ

I will continue to live in the “present.”

傷ついても 何度も 信じたいよ

Even if I get hurt, I want to believe, no matter how many times.

この手を この日々を 君と泣いて 君と笑って 僕は強くなれたんだろう

Within these hands, within these days, crying with you, laughing with you, has made me stronger.

君がくれた言葉はここにあるよ

The words that you told me are right here with me.

そうだよ 歩いていこう

Yes, let’s walk forward.

[END]

[nevertheless-moving]

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27 - Part 2.5

Suicidal Misunderstanding AU

I’m cleaning this up for AO3 and included a ‘missing scene’ that I was too impatient to finish writing before, for anyone who would like. It chronologically fits in between parts Two and Three. 

As soon as he turned the bend, Obi-Wan staggered to a halt, clinging to a wall sconce for support.

“Do you need me to carry you?” Anakin teased.

Obi-Wan thought for a moment. “Actually, that sounds quite lovely.”

“I- wait, really?”

“You did offer. It’s been years since I had anyone care enough to carry me when I’m struggling, and I can’t imagine anyone will ever care enough to carry me again. So. Yes. That sounds nice. But if you’re planning on, I don’t know, dissolving into a pile of sand, or melting into a pool of lava, then I’d just as soon walk.” Obi-Wan smiled weakly at Anakin’s wide-eyed shock.

“Walking it iii-” Obi-Wan had scarcely turned away when Anakin scooped him up defiantly and began marching quickstep to their quarters.

“I’ve carried you before.” Anakin said stiffly. “On Aargonar, remember?

“Aargonar…force, that was the back in the first year of the war, wasn’t it? I can’t say I remember you- or I suppose Anakin- ugh- can I just call you Anakin?”

“...Yes master, you can call me Anakin.”

“I don’t remember you carrying me on Aargonar, but so much has happened since then. I suppose the memory might have been buried.” Obi-Wan mused.

“You were unconscious for most of it.”

“Ah. That would do it.”

“And it wasn’t that long ago.”

“No.” Obi-Wan replied quietly. “I suppose it wasn’t.”

“Obi-Wan- what did you mean before…about…you know.”

Obi-Wan blinked, staring up into Anakin’s (thankfully) blue eyes. “What do you mean what did I mean?”

Anakin made a low frustrated noise, then ducked down a side passageway at the sound of footsteps.

“Where are you taking me?” Obi-Wan asked curiously.

“To our quarters- I’m just taking a roundabout way. I assumed you wouldn’t want anyone to see me carrying you, but correct me if I’m wrong, Master.”

“Oh. That’s- I guess I wouldn’t? It’s a bit of an odd situation but I suppose depending on who we ran into… yes I could see that being awkward.” Anakin’s former Master sighed heavily.

“Obi-Wan, what did you mean that you didn’t have anyone who cared about you enough to carry you?” Anakin asked in a rush of words, attempt to frame the question casually failing before it had begun.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes. “That’s not a very nice question,” he choked out. “I thought you were being nice.”

“I am being nice!” Anakin replied quickly, biting back panic. “I’m carrying you! I- I care about you! Obviously!”

Obi-Wan made a soft, sad noise.

Anakin stopped in place, voice growing suspicious and angry. “I swear to the force if this was some sort of attempt to trick me into admitting attachments- you- I- I’m going to drop you on this rock floor and-“

“You hate me!”

The words burst painfully out of Obi-Wan, cutting them both to the quick.

“I- what. Obi-Wan, I- how can you think that.” Anakin said numbly, confused and a little horrified.

“You told me! You yelled it at me.”

Anakin stared down slack-jawed at his Master, who he had never seen look so upset, his tired eyes scrunched shut. Anakin's hands clenched convulsively around one of the few people he genuinely loved. He leaned against a wall, his mind racing backwards furiously.

He had been…13? 13 and a half? Obi-Wan had been furiously lecturing him over- something. Something that really wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t even remember. A broken practice droid? A fight with Ferus? And he had yelled…a lot of things. Just trying to shatter his Master’s stupid neutral expression. And…he had succeeded. For a moment, Obi-Wan looked…really upset. Then Anakin ran off, feeling guilty. They didn’t talk for the day. Then they just sort of- moved on. Like they always did when they fought. Like they always did when one of them hurt the other. He had thought Obi-Wan had been upset by Anakin bringing up Qui-Gon, but for him to still remember all this years later…

“I- I didn’t mean it” Anakin whispered. “I- Obi-Wan, look at me, please.”

Obi-Wan stared up, slightly wet eyes wrinkled fearfully.

“Master…I was angry. I didn’t mean it. I could never mean it. You’re- you’re too important. I’m sorry. Of course I care about you. You’re- You’re my,” Anakin hesitated, not wanting to go too far, even now. “You’re my best friend.”

“You’re my best friend, too.” Obi-Wan said, smiling sadly. “I’m sorry I never told you that but- you’re my best friend in the whole galaxy. Even if you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.” Anakin repeated helplessly. “I didn’t mean it.”

Obi-Wan sighed. “You should probably keep walking. I feel a little dizzy and your metal arm actually makes this a bit uncomfortable.”

Anakin continued forward. “Is there…anything else you’re sorry you never told me?” He asked hesitantly, a bit scared but not really willing to let this opportunity simply slide by.

“Oh, so many things,” Obi-Wan groaned. “I suppose I should say them now, shouldn’t I?”

“If you want.” Anakin answered nervously.

“Well for a start, I’m sorry about giving you that dreadful old-fashioned haircut right before the parade on Naboo. It really wasn’t strictly necessary, but you seemed so excited at looking like a ‘real’ jedi padawan…”

Anakin snorted. “I made that haircut look good, come on. If nothing else, our lineage is single-handedly responsible for bringing it back in style, and I for one, am proud of that.”

Obi-Wan laughed.

“I always knew about you and Padme.”

Anakin stumbled but quickly resumed his stride.

“You- you do?” Anakin stuttered.

“Well not everything, but for Kriffs sake you practically made out right next to me on Genosis. And you’re not the most subtle, in general.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything.”

“I suppose I was hoping you’d come to me first. Maybe I was a little scared if I confronted the situation, you’d leave the order, leave me. I don’t know.” Obi-Wan rubbed his eyes. “It hardly matters.”

“And you’re not mad? About…attachment and ‘carousing’ and…stuff?”

“I’m not exactly a shining role model for attachment. And ‘stuff’ isn’t actually against the Jedi code. Though for force sake I suppose I should have sat you down and done a refresher ‘safe sex’ talk, honestly Anakin.”

The young knight blushed crimson and Obi-Wan grinned. “See? That right there. I can’t believe I pointlessly missed out on so many teasing opportunities. I- nothing I say about it really matters but... I know I fretted over you… I think, ultimately, I just wanted you to be happy. I never knew how to say that and it all just feels so stupid now.”

Anakin smiled, almost overwhelmed with relief and amazed joy, but Obi-Wan… looked upset. Really upset.

Anakin cleared his throat. “We’re at our quarters.”

“Oh!” Obi-Wan squirmed out of his padawan’s arms, gently touching the nameplate. “It looks just like I remembered.”

He rushed inside and turned in a slow circle. “Oh. Oh my.” His eyes were brimming with tears. “I really missed this place.”

“…I’m going to take a blood sample now, ok Master? It’s probably fine but- just in case. We can deal with things after you get some sleep.”

Anakin hustled his very distractible best friend (in the whole galaxy!) through drinking water and getting ready for bed.

“Anakin-” Obi-Wan called out as he turned to leave.

“Yes, Master?”

“One more thing before I go to sleep-”

Obi-Wan pulled the very vivid hallucination in for a warm hug. “I’m sorry I didn’t hug you more. There were times I wanted to so badly- you were so small. But Qui-Gon only ever hugged me if I was about to die, but maybe that’s just because I can’t imagine Dooku every hugging him, and maybe its Yoda’s fault for being so unattached. Anyway. I regret not doing it more. Just for no reason. Maybe its silly, but the more time I've been spending by myself, the more I've thought about it.”

Anakin fisted his hands into Obi-Wan’s robes, feeling- safe. Like a little kid again, before he realized his Mom couldn’t really protect him. Or before Obi-Wan seemed to drift away.

They stood there for a long while, Anakin at a loss for words.

“I miss you.” Obi-Wan whispered.

Anakin just squeezed harder, trying to put all his feelings into a form his surrogate father and best friend might be willing to accept.

‘Next’ (Part Three)

[holidaywishes]

I Can’t Always Be Perfect

  Summary: Having a sibling with a mental disability isn’t easy and can often be taxing, especially when things start to pile up at home and at work. So when things fall apart when (Y/N) tries their best to make things as close to perfect as they can, she has a bit of a breakdown.

  Warning: angst, mild language, trigger warning for mention of anxiety and emotionally abusive parents

  Author’s Note: So, I’m going through something right now. I don’t really know why I chose Willy for this, to be honest, but I felt like he might be a good one to make you feel better after you’ve had a rough time with things. He seems like the type to be able to make you laugh when you need it. This was a fic that came about because of things that have been building up for a while now and I’m lucky enough to have a few close people in my life that I can talk about these things with but sometimes, you just don’t want to burden anyone with your shit, so I wanted to put some of my personal drama and angst into a short little fic. I also want everyone and anyone to know that if there is anything they need to talk about regarding mental illness, anxiety, stressful home situations, anything, I’m here to be an ear and a metaphorical shoulder to lean on. Always. Also, I tried to keep this non-gendered so I used they so it would feel more inclusive. I’ll try to do this more in the future or use (Y/P/P) for Your Preferred Preference as I know that, even though it’s a small thing, it’s important. I love you all and I hope you enjoy this thing I wrote. Stay golden <3

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

  You considered yourself a good person. Not perfect, not even exceptional, just good. You took care of things at home when your parents were at work, you cleaned up after your brother when he made a mess out of the entire house. You tried to do the right thing and tried to give back when you could, especially to causes that hit close to home, but that didn’t mean you were exempt from sometimes missing the mark and sometimes it meant taking a lot more than you had the capacity to take.

  “(Y/N)!” your mom yelled from the kitchen and you ran to see what was wrong, “What is this?!” she asked, pointing to the mess on your carpet from your brother spilling his cereal on the carpet earlier in the day

  “Carter must have.. I forgot to clean it up, I’m sorry” you whimpered

  “I’m sick and tired of coming home to a dirty house!” she shouted

  “I’m sorry” you repeated

  “We’re at work all day, me and your father, the least you could do is make sure these things are done”

  “This is just one time..” you said before squeezing your eyes shut, knowing that the words probably wouldn’t sit right with your mom

  “ONE TIME IS ENOUGH!” she yelled, “You’re not working and you’re staying here, RENT FREE, so what the hell do you have going on that you can’t clean up a mess when it’s made?!”

  “I didn’t mean it like that,” you tried, speaking softly to not upset your mom anymore than she already was, “I just meant that the house is usually clean and tidy and supper is usually made when everyone gets here. Today was... a mistake and I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say”

  “DO BETTER!” she continued, snapping at you as you quickly tried to clean up the mess under her feet, “and stop being such a god damn brat!”

  “HEY!” your dad shouted as he walked in the door, “what the fuck is going on?! I can hear you all from down the street!”

  “I didn’t clean up after Carter today”

  “And she’s been home all day, just moping around because she can’t find a job I’m sure”

  “She lost her job because of the pandemic, Susan,” your dad argued, “it’s different for us. We’re both on the front lines. We can’t lose our jobs”

  “I know!” she snapped, “and she should know how lucky she is that we’re letting her stay here without paying for anything”

  “Stop it” your dad said, trying to get your mom to calm down but it didn’t work

  “Don’t you start with me” she urged

  “Can I just vacuum this? And then I’ll make supper, okay?” you tried, wanting to get away from everything

  “Fine,” your mom yelled before stepping out of the room, “but that’s not the point! This should’ve been done before we got home!”

  “She’s trying to do it now!” your dad yelled back, “let her do it!”

  “YOU KNOW WHAT?!” your mom countered, grabbing the vacuum and pushing you aside, “I’LL DO IT MYSELF!”

  “SUSAN!” your dad yelled

  “MOM! STOP!” you shouted but she didn’t listen, tuning everyone out with the buzzing of the vacuum. You looked at your dad who only shrugged and you were forced to scoff at the reaction, walking away to your room because there was nothing more you could do, only to find your brother sitting on the couch listening to everything; you rolled your eyes at his complete lack of accountability and scoffed before shaking your head and walking to your room. Your hands were shaking and your body was buzzing, you didn’t know what to do. This had been a long time coming. The fighting, the arguing, the yelling. Everyone was stressed out and stretched thin and you were doing your best to keep yourself together so no one around you would feel like they had to take care of you on top of everything else but when a text came in, you couldn’t help but start to feel the stress build up in your chest

  “Hey!” William’s text read

  “Hey” you sent back, trying to be as casual as possible

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah.. My mom’s just a little stressed out. Can I text you later?”

  “Of course but are you sure you’re alright? I can come over, help out?”

  “No!” you sent back quickly, noticing the ellipses pop up and you knew you had to back track, “I’m sorry. You don’t have to come over, I just need to sort somethings out and then I’ll text you, we’ll talk. Just... later okay?”

  “Okay.” You sighed as you pushed your phone to the side, dropping your head in your hands to rub your temples; it wasn’t long before your mom barged into your room

  “Why?” was the way she chose to start. No apology, no greeting, just straight into the same argument you had before, “why didn’t you clean it up as soon as you saw it?”

  “I thought he would do it himself” you admitted

  “You saw that he tried, you couldn’t have finished?”

  “He vacuums his mess all the time,” you argued, “I thought that he’d say something or realize... I don’t know, I guess I didn’t think”

  “You know his brain doesn’t work like ours” she said, glaring at you as she stood in the doorway

  “I know,” you sighed, “I just had some errands to run this afternoon and when I saw that he spilled something, I thought that he was embarrassed to tell me and he needed a minute before he could clean it up. So I did the dishes and left the room, forgetting about the mess. Then you came home and found it”

  “That’s not an excuse”

  “I’m not trying to make up an excuse, mom!” you yelled, just once, before you settled down and composed yourself, “I’m just trying to explain what happened.”

  “You know that your brother is different and that you need to do more to help him but you’re so concerned with yourself that you can’t manage to clean up one tiny mess!”

  “Concerned with my--” you scoffed, “I do take care of this place when you’re gone. There have been so many other messes that I’ve been forced to clean up that you have no idea about -- including the many times he’s missed the toilet and peed around the toilet -- so one day, one mess not being cleaned up, does not mean that I’m so concerned with myself. This isn’t a gigantic mess that he can’t clean up, he vacuums all the time so excuse me for thinking that he would have the ability to clean up some dry cereal on the carpet!”

  “He’s your brother!” she countered, “and he’s got mental delays so you have to be able to take care of him”

  “AND WHAT HAPPENS TO ME?!” you finally snapped, “I do my best to take care of him and you and dad and make sure no one is stressed out more than they already are but I’m not a caretaker. I’m not the older sibling. He’s 10 years older than me, Mom, and sometimes I need to be able to walk away and do things that don’t require me to act like his mother!” The tears began to fall down your heated cheeks and you looked at your moms face which only seemed to shift slightly at your words, “I’m sorry that I didn’t spend every second of my day today cleaning every inch of the house to make it look that no one lives here. I’m sorry that I took a little bit of time for myself. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

  “You just have to do better” she said quietly and you shook your head, trying to hold back your tears

  “I can’t always be perfect. I can’t always do everything. I missed something today and I’m sorry that it screwed up your day. But I shouldn’t be expected to do everything!” You finally got up, grabbing your phone, and pushed passed your mom so you could escape everything

  “Don’t you dare walk away right now” she growled and you pulled your arm from her grasp, making your way to the door before finally meeting your dads stare

  “Don’t leave, (Y/N),” he pleaded, “talk to us. Talk to me.” Part of you wanted to say something, to make him feel better, but you didn’t want him to see you cry anymore than you already were, so you ignored his attempt to make you stay; grabbing your keys and jumping in the car.

xx

Willy’s P.O.V

  “Can we meet somewhere?” (Y/N) finally texted you after nearly two hours and you were quick to suggest the rink. When you got there, you found (Y/N) huddled up, head against their knees as they waited for you

  “(Y/N)?” you whispered, seeing the tears on their face when they raised their head

  “Hi...” they replied

  “What’s wrong?” you asked, rushing to their side

  “I’m just feeling like I can’t do anything right today. Like, I’m supposed to never make mistakes and I failed today”

  “Everyone makes mistakes...”

  “You don’t...” they scoffed

  “Have you kept up with my career at all?” you teased

  “Sure but,” (Y/N) faltered, “I don’t know, Willy, I just hate having this pressure on me to be perfect. Feeling like I have to be a parent to my older sibling. I know that he’s gone through a lot and that his life is hard and that it will always be harder than mine. I know that and I try, I try so hard to make his life easier and my parents lives easier. But I have given up so many opportunities to make that possible. I deferred University for two years because my parents needed me to stay home. I didn’t apply to NYU because it was too far away. I didn’t take that amazing job at Massey Hall because the hours were too flexible. I gave up my personal life, my romantic life because it was too hard to make time for my brother with all of it. I sacrificed both my High School Graduation and my University Graduation so he could feel included. I got offered an internship in London that I had to pass on because it was too far away and my family needed me here. I love him, he’s my brother and I would die before I let anything happen to him but I just get exhausted sometimes, always having to worry about him and take care of him and make things easy for everyone but me. Then, I feel bad for getting exhausted and I overcompensate and exhaust myself even further.”

  “You’re burnt out”

  “Yeah,” they sighed, “I don’t wanna be. But I can’t ask for help or get my parents to understand why, if I don’t have a job, I am so burnt out”

  “Want me to tell ‘em?” you joked

  “No.” You noticed their eyes begin to tear and you tried to be there for them as best you could, letting them rest their head on your shoulder, rubbing their hand softly, “I just... I don’t know what to do anymore. Some days everything is fine and then other days, the smallest thing sets my mom off and I feel like she hates me and that she doesn’t think I do anything or that I haven’t given up anything. Like I should always be doing more...”

  “I want to make you feel better,” you finally said, “tell me what I can do.” You waited in silence for a minute so (Y/N) could get their composure

  “This.” (Y/N) said softly, “Just be here, with me. All this stuff, it’s my problem and I have to learn how to solve it. But you being here with me right now, letting me lean on you, helps.”

  “So I have strong shoulders?” you joked and they laughed, “Is this me being your superhero?”

  “Can you not?” they said, smacking your arm before looking up at you with a smile

  “I’ll always be here to save the day” you smiled

  “Yeah, you will won’t you?” they smiled back and you kissed their forehead, staying still in the cold ice rink until both of you were ready to leave.

[berrynarrybanana]

i want more berries

A/N: She’s a long one. I used that gif on purpose, as well. I hope you enjoy this smut and fluff filled chapter. Please let me know what you all think so far :)

Word count: 13.3k+

Warnings: Smut, alcohol, mentions of death and loss

P.S tell me if there’s something specific you’d like to see in the next few chapters!

Bea’s POV

I had a dream about Harry. 

I dreamt that after our steamy rooftop kiss, he swept me away to his beautiful home in Malibu. I dreamt that we kissed for hours, his hands sliding under the hem of my dress to grip at my bum as I pressed my palms against his face. He treated me so well in my dream, letting me roll my hips against his for a little while before he slipped a hand around to my front. In my dream, his fingers stretched me out, bringing me right to the brink of an earth shattering orgasm. 

And just as things were about to get good, my phone alarm pulled me from my dream; like a bucket of ice water being dumped over my head. It was the worst way to wake up, the sun blaring through the window as I tried to open my eyes. I hissed out, turning my face into the pillow below me before reaching for my phone. I let out a sigh of relief as I turned the intrusive noise off, closing my eyes 

I had plans to be punctual for. 

A hazy memory of coordinating a birthday brunch with Gemma Styles came to memory as I sat up in bed, brushing my hands through my hair to get it out of my face. We made plans for twelve-thirty at a cafe just a few miles from our rental home and Harry’s Malibu Mansion. I set my alarm for eight in the morning, hoping that my hangover wouldn’t be that bad so I could indulge in a solo walk.

It was something I picked up on after moving out of my parents house, a habit that helped keep my mind clear and my calves toned. California had so many beautiful parks that I wanted to branch out and see a few of them, without the group tagging along. As I turned back, grabbing the water bottle I set on my bedside table last night, my bedroom door opened. 

Tara poked her head in, a mess of brown curls piled on her head and a gentle smile on her face. I smiled back at her, reaching for my two pain killers to help ease the ache behind my forehead, as a gesture for her to come in. She shut the door quietly behind her, plopping down with her legs crossed at the end of my bed. I took my painkillers, resting my water bottle between my legs as she moved around a little, trying to find a comfortable position where the sun wasn’t shining in her eyes. 

“Good morning,” I chuckled, handing her my bottle. “How are you feeling?” 

“Good.” She nodded. “I stopped drinking at bar four.” 

“Smart move,” I laughed. “What are you doing up so early?” 

“I heard your alarm.” She shrugged. “I just wanted to see what you were up to so early in the morning.” 

“Gonna go for a walk at Solstice Canyon.” I said softly. “Why?” 

“I just...didn’t know if you had plans with Harry this morning.” She said slowly, avoiding my raised brows. “You two were pretty cozy last night.”

“Not that I know of.” I said slowly. “Just brunch with everyone later. Why?” 

“I just think you should be careful with him.” She said like the words were burning her throat, spitting them out quickly before she snapped her mouth shut. 

“Tara,” I said softly, confused by her warning. “Why do you think that?” 

“Because he’s Harry fucking Styles.” She whisper yelled, leaning forward. “You made out with him on a rooftop bar last night like you were high-school sweethearts! You looked like Matt and Chloe, making out like the rest of us didn’t exist. I’ve never seen you kiss someone like that.”

“That’s not true.” I groaned, rolling my head back as I tried to find the right words to say. “You’ve seen me kiss people before, T.” 

“Not like that.” She repeated. 

I didn’t blame her for warning me about Harry. 

I was a little skeptical of the entire thing myself.

But I really liked him. 

My whole life, I had been looking for that spark you hear about in movies and read about in books. And I hadn’t really dated that much, but I had never felt that spark with anyone else besides Harry. Something about the way he looked at me, like I was the only person there, made my insides turn to mush and my heart pound in my chest. I rolled my head forward, looking at Claire as she started peeling the label off of the water bottle in her hands. 

“I really like Harry.” I said softly. “And you know how hard that is for me, T. I know I should be skeptical because he’s Harry Fucking Styles, but I don’t want to be! I want to actually try this time, to get lost in someone just because I’m young and I can. I want to be myself around him without worrying or feeling judged. I feel like I can do that with him, Tara.” 

“I want that for you too.” She whispered. “But his track record puts me on edge, Beatrice.” 

“Because I’m not a model, like the other ones?” I asked. “Or a singer, or an actress, or a famous daughter...I’m just me, right? I can’t help that, Tara. And I’m insecure about that on my own, you don’t need to remind me.” 

“That’s not what I mean, Beatrice.” She groaned as I got out of bed, walking towards the ensuite bathroom. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.” 

“I don’t care if he ends up hurting me, Tara!” I exclaimed, walking over to the sink as she rested her hip against the door frame. “It’s too early for this conversation. I haven’t even had time to process it all myself and I just….I just need to go on my walk.” 

“Okay.” She said. “I love you to death, Bea. You’re an amazing friend and you always look out for us. I’m just looking out for you this time.” 

“Thank you.” I said softly. “It’s a nice gesture, but I’m a little hungover and extremely overwhelmed. Maybe we can talk after brunch?” 

“I’d like that.” She said. “Have a good walk. Text me your location so I know where you are, just in case someone decides to kidnap you.” 

“I will.” I let out a soft chuckle, watching as she retreated. 

As I turned the water on in the sink, I heard my phone ringing from the bedroom. 

I quickly rushed over, not wanting the sound to wake anyone else. One concerned friend was enough for me this morning. I answered the call without checking the i.d, holding it up to my ear. 

“Hello?” I said, walking back to the bathroom. 

“Good morning.” 

My heart stopped in my chest at the sound of Harry’s voice. 

It was a deep, gravelly tone coated in honey and I wondered if he was still curled up in his california king bed. I rolled my lips in, trying to hold back a squeal as I waited for him to speak again. 

“How are you, honey?” 

“I’m good.” I said softly, crossing my right arm over my chest as I glanced down at my cobalt blue painted toenails. I wiggled them, trying not to giggle like a schoolgirl. “Are you still in bed? 

“Are you not?” His voice rose in pitch and I heard the rustling of sheets from the other end of the line. I failed at holding back a giggle that time, looking up towards the ceiling as I heard him mumble a curse under his breath. “It’s bloody eight in the morning and I know for a fact you drank your weight in tequila last night.” 

“Don’t be a hypocrite.” I laughed, rolling my eyes at his offended huff. “You drank the same amount and you had yours straight. The only reason I feel even slightly hungover and queasy is because of the champagne we toasted with last night.” 

“Y’had at least five watermelon margaritas in the time we spent together and one glass of champagne has done you in?” He let out a squeaky laugh and I felt like I could collapse on the bathroom floor then and there. “You’re a strange one, Beatrice.”

“I don’t know what it is in champagne that fucks with me, but I don’t like it.” I scrunched up my nose as I thought of the bubbly liquid. I was actually surprised that I wasn’t crouched in front of the toilet right now. “How are you feeling this morning?” 

“A little tired. I couldn’t really sleep.” He sighed. “I kept dreaming about you last night.” 

“Is that so?” I nibbled at the inside of my cheek. “What was your dream about?” 

“We were cuddling.” He said. “We were on the beach, at sunset, snuggled up together on a blanket. I could smell your perfume and everything. I swore for a moment when I woke up that you were right here next to me. But instead, I woke up cuddling a pillow.” 

“That sounds like a bummer.” I chuckled. “I hate to admit it after hearing about that Nicholas Sparks worthy dream of yours, but I also had a dream.” 

“Oh?” He asked, a curious lilt to his voice. “What about?” 

“Far less romantic things.” I felt my cheeks grow hot, nerves bubbling up in my stomach as I awaited his response.

“Beatrice Noelle Murphy,” He was mocking Claire’s tone from last night when she found me, his voice going up a few octaves as he feigned shock. “You had a naughty dream about me?” 

“I knew I should have kept that to myself.” I groaned playfully, stomping my foot against the tile for good measure. “If it’s any consolation, darling, you were very good to me in my dream, until my alarm woke me up, that is.” 

“I expect to hear all about this dream later tonight.” He hummed out. “So, why are you up so early? Should I be worried about any other men knocking at your door?” 

“Not at all.” I snorted out a laugh. “I was actually getting ready to go out for a little walk. It’s something I do at home and before we came here, I found this place called Solstice Canyon that isn’t too far. I figured I would go and take a look.” 

“I know that place.” He said. “It’s gorgeous.” 

The conversation died for a moment, both of us waiting for the other to say it first.

“Harry?” I asked softly. 

“Yeah?”

“Would you like to go with me?” I mumbled. “We can go for a walk and maybe get coffee after? And while we’re walking, maybe we can talk about whatever...this is?”

“I would really like that.” His voice was soft, back to that honey-tone that made my insides melt and my heart thump. “I can come pick you up.” 

“Okay.” I said. “I’ll send you the address.” 

“I’ll see you soon, then.” I could hear the smile in his tone, as if he were standing right in front of me. “I’ll text you when I’m on my way.” 

“That’s perfect.” I took a deep breath. “Goodbye, Harry.” 

“Goodbye, honey.” 

He was making it so hard not to fall in love with him. 

Harry’s POV 

Beatrice Noelle Murphy was going to be the death of me. 

When I pulled into the driveway of her airbnb, she was already standing outside. Her phone was pressed to her ear, a reusable water bottle in her hand as she paced back and forth. My mouth went dry when I started to pay attention to her outfit. She was wearing black leggings, a tight black tank top, and a pair of black sneakers to tie it all together. The stretchy material of her leggings hugged her curves in a way that would put regular pants to shame. I adjusted in my seat, clearing my throat as she looked up at me with that gorgeous smile. 

“Fucks sake,” I groaned, feeling all of the blood in my body rushing down to my cock. “I really don’t need this to happen to me right now.” 

When I put the car in park, I took a deep breath as she finished her phone call. 

I unbuckled my seatbelt, opening my door as she walked over. 

“Hello,” I leaned down, kissing her cheek before pulling back. “You look amazing this morning.” 

“Oh, this old thing.” She teased, glancing down at her outfit before looking back up at me. “Look at you, H. You don’t even look like you have a hangover.” 

“The magic of under eye cream.” I chuckled. “Shall we head on?” 

“Yeah.”

I pressed my hand to the small of her back, guiding her to the passenger seat of my car. 

Like a true gentleman, I opened the door for her. 

Like a true guy, I stared at her ass while she climbed in. 

When I walked back around to the driver’s seat, I cursed at myself under my breath for being such an asshole. She was a sweet girl and she deserved better than me ogling her five seconds into our walking date...if that’s what this was. I pressed the start engine button as Beatrice buckled in, sitting her water bottle in the cup holder with a soft giggle. 

“What?” I glanced over at her before putting the car in reverse. 

“I’ve just…” She started, struggling to find the words. “I’ve always wanted to ride in a Tesla because they’re so cool. And they’re environmentally conscious too, which is so awesome.” 

“You’re adorable.” I chuckled, glancing at my rear-view camera to check for oncoming traffic. I pulled out on the street before turning my head towards her with an amused grin. “Maybe you can give it a test drive before you go home?”

“I would love that.” She nodded. “So, do you know where the park is?” 

“Yeah, I’ve been a few times before.” I nodded. “There’s a gorgeous waterfall at the top and everything.” 

“I saw that online.” She hummed out. “I figured I would go by myself this morning and then later on I’ll take everyone else so we can go for a dip. They’re all still passed out.”  

“Smart idea.” I laughed. “When I left the house this morning, Michael and Gemma were passed out on the couch.” 

“Ah, to live the life of luxury.” Beatrice sighed, giggling right after. “I’m really glad that we’re doing this.”

“Me too.” I glanced at her, offering her a soft smile before I held my hand out. She wasted no time lacing our fingers together, settling our hands on her thigh as I continued to drive. “As a guest in the Tesla, you have complete control over the radio. I have Spotify or apple music, use whatever you want. The code for my phone is 020194.” 

“Your birthday, how original.” She chuckled, taking my phone. 

“How did you know that was my birthday?” I smirked, glancing over at her. 

“Fuck.” Her cheeks turned pink again and she cleared her throat. “Shut up.” 

“Might as well put on One Direction and prove how big of a fan you are.” I mumbled, flipping my turn signal on as she groaned. “I mean it, I would love to see you lose your mind.” 

“Not today,” She mumbled. “I have songs in mind.” 

I spent the drive listening to her playlist with inquisitive ears. 

Music was important to Beatrice, a small fact she’d shared about herself the night before. If she was playing songs for me to hear, I wanted to take them all in. The playlist was a good mix between Indie and Pop, a playlist that she named Iced Coffee because it was what helped her wake up in the morning. I made a mental note for every thing she said as she spoke, wanting to treasure every moment we had together. At every stoplight, she squeezed my fingers gently and I would smile over at her, resisting the urge to kiss her. 

At the last stoplight, she kissed me. I didn’t stop smiling for the rest of the drive, not even when I parked and walked around to open her door for her again. She blushed, ducking her head down as I kissed her forehead softly. I wasn’t usually so affectionate in the beginning of a relationship, but Beatrice was different. The physical pull I felt towards her was almost impossible to ignore. 

“Okay,” I said as we approached the start of the path. “This way is like, two miles, I think. If we go that way, it’s about five or six miles with a lot of hills and stuff. Which way do you prefer?” 

“Two miles.” She said. “I don’t want to tire you out if you’ve got a show tonight.” 

“How thoughtful of you, honey. I like that.” When she laced our fingers together again, my heart skipped a beat in my chest. It was a small gesture, but it meant a lot to me. She wasn’t afraid to be seen with me like most girls were. “Let’s get our hike on, yeah?” 

There was nothing but the sound of our feet crunching against twigs and scattered gravel for a while. I took her water bottle from her hand, holding it in my own as we walked up the small path towards the woods. The birds were chirping and the morning air was a little chilly as the wind rustled the trees around us. There wasn’t anyone else on the path, just Beatrice and myself. 

“This place is gorgeous.” She said softly. “Do you go walking a lot?” 

“I do.” I nodded. “I usually go running with my friend Jeff, you met him last night.” 

“Kind of.” She giggled. “I think I met everyone, but I really only talked to you.” 

“If I remember correctly, that’s all my fault.” I laughed my cheeks heating up as she squeezed my fingers. “I wasn’t exactly keen on sharing you with anyone else last night.” 

“I didn’t mind it.” She bumped her shoulder against my bicep. “I don’t know if it was just me, but last night felt….magical.” 

“I felt it too.” I glanced over at her, licking over my bottom lip. “I’ve...I’ve dated people. Like, I’m hesitant to say a lot, but I’ve been told I had a ho phase in 2015.” 

“Oh, you did.” She teased, looking up at me. “I’ve seen the gifs, I know how you acted on stage, Styles.” 

I rolled my eyes, laughing softly as she bumped her shoulder into my bicep.

“The point I’m trying to make is that I’ve never felt that way about anyone before. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you the entire time we were together. It felt wrong not touching you in some way or another, even if it was just my hand on your leg or your arm pressed against me. It was like I needed you to breathe.” 

“I felt the same way.” She said. “And when I looked into your eyes, it was almost like I could hear exactly what you were thinking. You didn’t even have to say anything to me.”

“And that’s...that’s something, Beatrice.” I turned back to look at the path. “Does that scare you?” 

“Yes.” She admitted. “Because I’ve never been in love, Harry. I’ve dated maybe...two people, I think. And I always chicken out because I just never feel that spark that you hear about in movies or read about in books. Then last night I met you and that changed, I felt it for the first time and it shocked me.” 

“I’m scared, too.” I whispered. “Because I felt the same way and that means something big to me, you know? I’ve been all around the world and I’ve met thousands of people, but the moment I lay eyes on you it all changes? It’s just...monumental for me.” 

“Harry,” She whispered. “What does this mean for us?” 

“It means that I would gladly be your boyfriend right now if you asked.” I stopped in my tracks, looking at her in awe. Her cheeks were a soft pink, her freckles out as the California sun shone down on her like a spotlight. “It means that I want something with you, something serious.” 

“Just like that?” The corners of her lips twitched, but she didn’t smile. “You want me?” 

“I want you.” I nodded. “However I can have you.” 

“Then I’m yours.” She shuffled forward. “But you’re going to have to be patient with me, Harry. I’ve never done this before and I don’t know how to...be a girlfriend.” 

“It’s not very hard.” I hummed out, pursing my lips as I tilted my head to the side. “Feed me, water me three times a day, and tuck me in with a song at bedtime-” 

“Oh my goodness,” Beatrice tossed her head back, letting out a loud laugh. “You’re ridiculous.” 

“I’m just trying to give you instructions, honey.” I pulled her close to me by our connected hands as she tilted her head forward. “Gonna teach you how to be a proper girlfriend, yeah?”

“You’re so British.” Her giggle faded as I moved closer to her lips. 

When I finally pressed a kiss to her soft lips, everything changed. 

I let go of her hand, pressing my palm against her cheek as I moved my mouth against hers. I felt my insides catch fire as she licked over my bottom lip. Her hands gripped my hoodie, pulling herself closer to me as her water bottle fell from my hand. I wrapped myself around her and for a brief second, I was worried about being caught kissing her. But as my tongue slipped over hers, my fears faded. My thoughts revolved around the soft noises she made when we kissed and the way her hands slipped up my back. She tasted like mint and she smelled like roses. 

“Harry,” She pulled back, gasping softly as I kissed over her cheek and towards her jaw. “Hey, Harry. We’re in public, darling.” 

“I don’t care.” I mumbled, pressing a soft kiss to the skin just below her ear. “I can’t stop kissing you.” 

“The quicker we finish this hike, the quicker we get back to the car,” She said, clearing her throat. “That means we’ll get to make out in private, without a small, tourist family staring at us.” 

My blood ran cold as I realized what she was saying. 

I pulled back, looking to my left as the family watched us. 

“Sorry.” I cleared my throat, leaning down to grab the bottle I dropped. “Let’s go.” 

Beatrice burst into loud laughter as we passed the family, leaning against me as we stumbled along the path. My face grew hot as she patted my stomach softly, cooing up at me. 

“It was nice for a minute, wasn’t it?” She said softly. “Thank you for kissing the breath right out of my lungs. It was a nice moment.” 

“You’re welcome,” I turned my head, pecking her lips. “Let’s finish this hike, girlfriend. I’m in need of more kisses and I’m not wasting anymore time.”

Beatrice’s POV 

When Harry and I made it to the top of the path, the view was stunning. 

We sat at the edge of the pool, our feet in the water as we continued our talk from earlier. My friends were most definitely going to kill me for acquiring a boyfriend before noon, but I didn’t care. I was riding cloud nine as Harry kept me tucked under his arm. I learned about his family back at home in England as we sat, his voice full of excitement as he told me about his school friends and his Mum. He told me that he had a flight leaving on Tuesday to Heathrow and that he was planning to spend two weeks with his Mum in Manchester. I was excited that he was going to have time to spend with her after such a long tour, but part of me was sad that we would have to part at some point. I didn’t say anything, smiling as he talked about the intense games that he would play with his Mum and Gemma at home. 

“What about your family?” He asked, brushing his hand over my arm. “Do they all still live in Virginia?” 

“Yeah.” I said slowly, clearing my throat. “We don’t have...the best relationship. It’s not awful, but it’s not exactly normal.” 

“Do you have any siblings?” He sounded completely unfazed by my statement.

“Yeah, brothers.” I mumbled, my finger dragging over the spot on my arm where my honeybee was tattooed. “If I tell you something, promise you won’t apologize or freak out.” 

“Beatrice, you can tell me anything.” His brows pulled together as I looked up at him, giving him a soft smile.

“The honeybee that I have on my arm,” I started. “That’s in honor of my brother, kind of. He used to call me honeybee all the time because of my name, you know? My mom would call me honey and he picked up on that, but then he started adding the bee on later. Beatrice is kind of hard for a five year old to say.” 

“I can imagine.” Harry chuckled. “Why shouldn’t I apologize?” 

“Because he’s dead.” I cleared my throat, looking back to the waterfall as I took a deep breath. I wasn’t sad or upset as I spoke. I had told the story so many times, it was almost like it belonged to someone else. “We don’t have to go into the details if it makes you uncomfortable. I know not everyone is as cavalier about death and loss as I am.” 

“I want to know what happened.” He said softly. “If you want to share, I’m here to listen.” 

“We knew that he was going to die because he was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy when he was about five or six. Most kids don’t live that long with the disease, so we always knew. The way that I used to explain it as a kid was ‘it’s a disease that melts your muscles’ and while that’s not far off, it’s not exactly accurate. It’s a disease that deteriorates your muscles and it started at his feet and then worked its way up. And your heart is a muscle, so naturally, that was the last thing to go.” I turned back to look at Harry, his mouth shut and his brows knitted together in the center. “How are you hanging over there?” 

“I’m...taking it all in.” He said slowly. “I’m also trying really hard not to apologize to you right now.” 

“It’s a reflex for some people.” I chuckled, squeezing his fingers. “I know that hearing that is a lot to deal with for a first date, but it’s better that you know now.” 

“I call you honeybee.” He said softly. “Does that bother you?” 

“Not at all.” I shook my head. “You just...naturally started calling me that. I used to hate when my Mom or family would try to call me that because it was his name for me, but I like hearing it from you. It almost felt like a sign in some way, like...he was approving of it somehow. I know that sounds insane, but I have a gut feeling that you two would get along swimmingly.” 

“It doesn’t sound insane.” He pulled me tighter against his side. “And you’re okay?”

“I’m fine.” I nodded. “I’ve been telling that story to people for twelve years and if I’m being honest, it’s kind of just...an extremely distant memory. It’s sad and you probably think I’m heartless for being so casual about it, but I spent a lot of time blocking out memories with him as a coping mechanism and now I’m just...well, whatever this is.” 

“That is sad.” He whispered. “If you ever want to talk to me about him or anything, I’m here for you.” 

“Thank you.” I let out a heavy sigh. “So, now that we’ve had that talk, I have another brother named Jack. He’s younger than me and quite possibly the funniest human being I’ve ever met. He’s my first drunk call when I’m out because he’s the first person I want to share things with after they happen.” 

“Is that who you were on the phone with earlier?” He asked. “When I pulled up?” 

“Yes.” I nodded. “He was bugging me about being in California. He’s never been and he’s always wanted to see Los Angeles.” 

“Well, next time you want to visit, let me know.” He said. “You can stay with me instead of renting out an airbnb.” 

“If I let Jack anywhere near you, he’s going to want to talk music.” I snorted out a laugh. “He has FL Studio and he’s really into making beats which is something I don’t understand, but he loves to death. He’s really into producing and stuff.” 

“I wouldn’t mind talking music with him.” Harry chuckled. “I would love to meet him someday.” 

We decided to make our way back after talking a little more about my dysfunctional family. We were nearly to the car when I remembered that tonight was Harry’s last show on his first solo tour. When I looked over at him, he was deep in thought. His brows were knitted together and he was staring at the ground as we walked. 

“So, are you excited for tonight?” I asked. 

“Hmm?” He asked. 

“Tonight,” I said softly. “I was just asking if you were excited?” 

“I am.” He gave me a half smile. “Lots of people are coming though. I know Hannah, the girl from last night will be there. Kendall will probably be there, Niall is definitely coming, Louis and Liam are still a little on the fence about it so I don’t know if they’ll be there.” 

“Holy shit,” I breathed out. “Niall Horan.” 

“Oi,” He pouted, stopping in his tracks. “I’ll be the one on stage, honey.” 

“I know.” I laughed at his childish pout. “It’s just...Niall was kind of my favorite member of the band, darling.” 

“What?” He screeched out, his eyebrows shooting up. “Bloody Niall?” 

“He was cute!” I exclaimed, trying not to laugh at his distress. “You can’t deny the Irish charm, Harry!” 

“I can, Beatrice!” He groaned. “I’m British.” 

“Oh, I’ve noticed.” I let out a laugh as Harry pulled me closer to him. “Don’t be so pouty about it, darling.” 

“I’m jealous.” He said softly, squeezing my fingers.

“Is that so?” I asked, my breath catching in my throat as he rubbed the tip of his nose over mine gently. “What are you going to do about that?” 

“There’s my naughty girl.” He hummed out. “When we get to the car, maybe you’ll find out.” 

My feet moved faster than they ever had before. 

When we made it to the car, Harry opened the door, ushering me inside the back seat with gentle hands. He climbed in after me, shutting the door before locking it behind us. I wasted no time straddling his lap, pressing my lips to his in a heated kiss. Something in me took over my actions, any prior fears about being sexual with someone else long gone. I hadn’t done much in lieu of sexual encounters with other people, but I had done a few things. Getting fingered outside of a bar after Valentine’s day before delivering a stellar blowjob was one of those things, but I really had the alcohol to thank for diminishing my fears that night. 

Harry’s hands landed on my bum, his fingers digging into the flesh there as I dug my fingers into the soft strands of hair at the back of his head. I tugged softly, moaning as my hips rolled forward against Harry’s. This was new for me and though it was a little nerve wracking, I wasn’t worried. My body knew what it was doing, moving against Harry with soft little rolls of my hips. He seemed to be enjoying it, if the bulge in his pants had anything to say about it. I whimpered when he pulled back, gently tugging at my lower lip with his teeth when he did. His lips weren’t gone for long, his tongue joining in on the fun when he pressed them back to mine. My toes felt numb and my body felt like it was on fire from just his kiss. 

“Harry?” I asked, tilting my head back as I tried to catch my breath. He kissed down the column of my throat greedily, suckling at the sensitive parts as I grinded harder against him. “I need more.” 

“What do you need from me?” He whispered in my ear, his voice husky and raspy. “Tell me what you want.” 

“Fingers.” I moaned when he pushed my jacket off of my shoulders, leaning into kiss at my collarbones. “I need your fingers.” 

“Dirty girl.” He cooed, sliding his palm from my side to my front. I clenched my eyes shut when he started to rub his fingers over my core through my leggings. “You need them like this?” 

“No.” I cried out. “I want them in me.” 

“Fuck,” He gasped, lifting his hand to squeeze gently at my breast as the other hand tilted my chin down. He kissed me fervently, pulling back as he rested his forehead against mine. “Are you sure?” 

“Yes.” I nodded. “I’m so sure.” 

“Have you…” He stopped. “Is this something you’ve done before?” 

“Are you asking me if I’ve been fingered?” I tried to fight off my smirk, rolling my lips in as he nodded. “I have, actually. It wasn’t the best experience of my life and I didn’t cum, but I have a feeling that you know what to do with your hands.” 

“Fuck me.” He groaned, “just...tell me exactly what you need and I’ll make it happen for you. I’m gonna make sure you cum on my fingers, honey.” 

I nodded, licking over my bottom lip as he awaited instruction. 

“You can put your hand down my pants.” I said softly. “If you want to, that is.” 

“I really, really want to.” 

He glanced between us as he trailed his fingertips down my stomach to the band of my leggings. He gripped the fabric between his fingers, letting it pop back against my skin as I groaned out. He chuckled softly, kissing my chin before he dipped his fingers past the waist. I held my breath, waiting for him to touch my clit, but he didn’t. Instead, his fingers dipped past my clit, rubbing over my lips slowly as he used his free hand to guide my eyes to his. His eyes were a darker shade of green, one that matched the shade that I saw last night after I was knocked over. 

“You’re fucking soaked, Beatrice.” He let out a shaky breath. “Who did this to you?” 

“Maybe it was Niall.” 

Harry looked up at me, his stare going blank as he stopped the movement of his fingers. 

I tried not to break composure, watching him unravel before my very eyes. I’d heard Woman before, I knew how jealous he could get and what it did to him. I wanted that Harry right now. 

“What did you just say to me?” He asked softly, tilting his head to the side.

“I said, maybe it was Niall.” I hummed out, moving my hips. He stopped them, gripping my side tight with his free hand. “We were talking about him earlier, weren’t we? Maybe that’s why I’m so wet.” 

“Beatrice.” His voice nearly came out in a growl, his nails digging into my plush sides. “You’re playing a dangerous game, angel.” 

“What game is that?” I inquired, a smug smirk painting over my lips. 

In a flurry of movements, I ended up on my back beneath Harry.

He pulled my leggings over my thighs, pressing his fingers flat against my entrance as he knelt to the ground beside the car seat. Tesla’s had a lot of legroom to offer and I was suddenly a major fan of that. Harry pressed a quick kiss to my lips as he dipped his pointer finger into me. I let out a shaky breath when he curled up, massaging that spot inside of me gently. 

“Are you okay with this?” Soft Harry was back, but I assured him with a quick nod. “Tell me if it’s too much, okay?” 

“I will.” I mumbled. “I quite liked ‘Angry Harry’ from before.” 

“Oh, he hasn’t gone anywhere.” He let out a dark chuckle, pulling his pointer finger out before sliding it back in. This time, it was accompanied by his middle finger. His thumb ghosted over my clit and I let out a soft string of curses as he grinned. “Not so smug now, are you?” 

“That feels really good.” I whimpered, lifting my hips up. “Harry-” 

“So now it’s me that’s made you this way, eh?” He brushed his nose over mine, his breath washing over my face as he started to move his fingers faster. “I thought Niall made you this wet, angel?” 

“You.” I whined, shaking my head. “Just you, Harry.” 

“That’s my girl.” He cooed, pressing the pad of his thumb to my clit. He moved it in soft circles as his fingers worked in and out of me. “S’that good?” 

“Move your thumb the other way.” I let my eyes slip shut, a small ball of pleasure accumulating in my lower belly, tightening with each stroke of his thumb and thrust of his fingers. “Just like that, H. Fuck.” 

“You’re so tight.” He let his lips brush over mine. “So tight and wet, just for me.” 

“Yes.” I whispered. “Just for you.” 

“You’re so beautiful like this.” He mumbled. “The little wrinkle between your brow as you clench down on my fingers. You’re so desperate to cum, aren’t you?” 

“Yes.” I repeated. “Yes, please.” 

“Are you close?” He hummed out. “Are you going to cum on my fingers for me, angel?” 

I nodded again, a low whine in my throat as my hips and thighs tensed up. 

I was right there on the edge, ready to explode underneath him. 

“Cum for me.” He stamped a quick kiss to my lips. “Cum on my fingers, Beatrice.” 

I bit my lower lip, reaching out with my left hand to grip Harry’s hoodie as he worked me through my orgasm. My whole body tensed up before falling lax against his back seat. That little whine that was caught in my throat escaped, a few moans following after as Harry really worked me though with his fingers. I opened my eyes slowly when he pulled them out, lifting them up to his lip before he rested them on his tongue. I cursed as he licked my arousal from his digits, grinning when he was finally done savoring my taste. 

“Taste like berries.” He leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. “Do you taste it?” 

I whimpered, nodding as he lifted his head up. 

“That was amazing.” I said softly, sitting up before I adjusted the waistband of my leggings over my stomach.  “You are amazing.” 

“Hm, I told you I was the jealous kind.” He giggled, kissing me softly as I brushed my fingers through his hair. 

“I’m glad that added to the moment.” I said, my cheeks hot under his gaze. “It was a shot in the dark, but fuck are you hot when you’re jealous.” 

“Normally, it would bother me,” He said. “But something about you doing made it feel fun and exciting.”

“Good.” I kissed his forehead. “Trade spots with me.” 

“You don’t have to-” 

“Plant your ass on the seat, Styles.” I patted the empty space next to me, watching as he hesitantly climbed up. “Are you okay with this?” 

“Yes.” He nodded. “Only if you are.” 

“I’m going to warn you,” I placed my palms on his thighs. “I’ve only given one blowjob and I was drunk. So I’m going to need a lot of feedback here.” 

“Noted.” He nodded, glancing down at my hands as they slid up to the waistband of his athletic shorts. “This is a good start.” 

“Thanks.” I giggled, rolling my eyes at him. He lifted his hips as I pulled his shorts past his bum and down to his thighs. I left them just above his knees, my eyes immediately zeroing in on his cock. “Fucking hell, it’s beautiful.” 

“Beatrice.” Harry whispered, a pained lilt to his tone. “You’re killing me.” 

“I’m admiring it.” I mumbled, brushing my fingers over the veiny shaft. I took a deep breath before I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “So beautiful.” 

I brushed my thumb under the head, a small stream of pre-cum drizzling out from the slit. I had heard on the internet that the head of a man’s cock often matched the color of his lips. Whoever made that observation was a genius. The tip of Harry’s cock was raspberry red, coated in a light glaze of pre-cum. 

I had never wanted to suck a man off so badly before, my tongue practically aching at the phantom weight. I leaned down, taking a deep breath as I guided his cock up. The tip pointed towards his stomach as I leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to the underside of its head. Harry hissed in a sharp breath, shifting beneath me as I looked up at him. 

“I’m not going to last long.” He whimpered. “I don’t think I can do it.” 

“S’alright.” I whispered. “Just tell me when you’re close and I’ll swallow.” 

“Fuck.” 

I pressed a few kisses against the veiny skin, my lips closed as I pecked over it gently. When I had made my way all the way up to the top, I started back down again. This time, I incorporated open mouth kisses, trailing my tongue over the veins every few seconds or so to keep him on his toes. When I made it to the base, I pushed his hoodie up, trailing my lips up to his ferns as I felt his hands fall on my shoulders.

After I felt his fingers digging into my shoulder blades, I lifted my hand, pulling at my hair elastic. My hair fell around my shoulder and face like a curtain. Harry didn’t waste a lot of time, threading the fingers of his left hand through the strands at the nape of my neck while his right fingers brushed my hair back from my face. 

“You’re stunning.” He whimpered, causing me to glance up at him as I flattened my tongue. I slowly licked up the underside of his shaft from the base to the tip. I pressed a kiss to the tip, glancing up at him. “Just like that, angel. You’re doing so well.” 

It was hard trying not to smile as I wrapped my lips around the head of his cock. 

I brushed my tongue over the spongy head before suckling softly and pulling off. I pressed a quick kiss to the top before I repeated the previous move. It wasn’t long before I was lowering my mouth, pulling back up as I tried to master sucking without teeth. Harry didn’t seem to mind that I wasn’t looking at him while I tried to take care of him. I could tell that he felt good by the string of curses falling from his mouth every time I took my mouth off of him.

It was kind of hot, feeling his fingers slowly guiding me back towards his cock as he tried to refrain from bucking his hips up. My fingers found purchase in his thighs, trying to steady myself as I pushed farther than I had before. Harry was big in my mouth, his cock heavy on my tongue and his tip poking against the back of my tongue. Now, he was pressing against the back of my throat. 

“I’m gonna cum.” His voice was higher in pitch, a desperate whine pulling from his throat as I pulled back up and suckled on the head of his cock. I took a few deep breaths, glancing up to see his eyes glued to my face. He was watching my every move. “I’m so close, Beatrice.”

“What do you need me to do?” I asked, replacing my mouth with soft strokes of my hand while I looked up at him. “Tell me what to do, darling.” 

“Don’t have to take me all the way again, that was…” He let out a breathy chuckle, brushing his thumb over the apple of my cheek. “Just put your lips around the head like you were doing. Suck on me while you’re looking up at me.” 

“Okay.” I smiled softly, lowering my mouth to his cock again.

I wrapped my lips around the bulbous and leaking head of his cock, sucking softly like I had done moments before. I kept stroking his shaft with my hand, keeping my eyes on his as I did so. He took in a few shallow breaths, his brows knitting together and his lips parting. His eyes started to flutter as he tightened his fingers in my hair. When his hips lifted just a little off the seat, I knew that was it for him. Seconds later, I felt a few spurts of warm cum coating my tongue. I didn’t think too hard on it, swallowing it down as I stroked him through his orgasm. 

“Beatrice,” He whimpered, dropping his hands to my arms with a grabby motion as I shifted. “Come up.” 

I obliged, climbing into his lap as our lips collided. 

He wrapped me in his arms, slipping his tongue over mine as I whimpered. 

When he pulled back from me, he had a blissed out smile on his lips and wide eyes. 

“You’ve...you’ve only given one other blow job besides that?” He asked, his chest heaving just a little as I nodded. “Your mouth is a daydream.” 

“Harry.” I groaned, swatting his shoulder. 

“I mean it.” He leaned forward for a quick peck, brushing my hair over my shoulders. “That was amazing, Beatrice. I really loved it.” 

“I’m glad.” I brushed my nose over his. 

“Can I ask you something?” He said softly, reaching up to scratch the side of his nose. “I don’t want to sound like a dick for asking, but I kind of have a feeling and I just...it doesn’t matter one way or the other, I just want to know.” 

“Ask away.” I said. “You can always talk to me too, you know? It’s a two-way street.” 

“I appreciate that more than you know.” He hummed out. “But I’m just curious about...are you a virgin?” 

“Yeah.” I nodded without hesitation. “It’s not something I try to hide from people, so I don’t mind sharing that with you.” 

“Is that just a personal choice you’ve made for yourself?” He asked. “Because I don’t want to push you or make you feel like you have to do things like that with me if you’re not ready. I can wait.” 

“If I’m going to be honest with you,” I said softly. “I’ve not had sex yet because there’s no one that’s really tried to have sex with me. I haven’t been holding out for any one reason.”

“No one has ever tried to have sex with you?” He asked, his brows shooting up to his hairline. “I find that so hard to believe.” 

“Harry,” I laughed, tossing my head back. “Stop it.” 

“I mean it.” He exclaimed, pressing his hands to my hips. “When I pulled into the driveway this morning and saw you standing there, I got hard just like that.” 

“No!” I exclaimed, pressing my hands to his chest with a breathless laugh. “You didn’t?” 

“I did.” He nodded. “I was very upset with myself for it, honestly. Felt like a proper dick.” 

“I’m going to take a shot every time you say the word proper.” I reached up, tapping the pad of my finger against his nose. “And I really love this moment we’re having, but I desperately need coffee or a nap….or both.” 

“You can have both?” He asked. “You can have a coffee and then go to bed?” 

“Yeah.” I shrugged. “I drink a lot of coffee in a day, the first cup is like a small kick starter, but cups three through five are what really rev me up.” 

“Oh my,” Harry shook his head. “I’m going to have to keep an eye on you.” 

“Absolutely.” I nodded. 

Harry’s POV 

Beatrice and I stopped at Starbucks on the way back to her airbnb. 

On the way there, it was decided that I was staying to take a nap with her. She texted Gemma from my phone, asking if she could bring an outfit to the airbnb with one of my cars so we could all fit in two vehicles on the way to brunch. When we made it back to her airbnb, everyone was still sleeping soundly. Claire was curled up on the couch with Chloe just below her. Matt was tucked into Chloe’s side and Jackson and Tara were nowhere to be seen. 

When we walked in, I wasn’t surprised that Beatrice had chosen this as the airbnb they stayed in. It was extremely cute, little vintage touches splashed in here and there. There was a small acoustic guitar tucked in the corner of the living room and a light blue record player with a record collection on a console table in front of the window by the front door. Beatrice guided me past the kitchen and down the hall towards her room in the house. She explained that she got the room with an ensuite bathroom that I could use it while she snuck off to Claire’s. 

Showering together was slightly different than sharing a steamy moment in the back of my car. There was nothing to hide behind and I could tell the thought of that made her uncomfortable. I gladly accepted her offer and over-sized band shirt and soft sweatpants before going into the restroom. There were a few products scattered around on the small sink that made me smile. We shared the same face wash, which was a good thing for my skin. During my shower, I started to get lost in my own head. Beatrice was at the forefront of my mind, her face plastered on the big screen as I replayed our moment by the waterfall. 

I could tell there was so much more to her family problems than just the loss of her brother, but I didn’t want to push. She had already shared so much with me today and I knew that we would have plenty of time to share more in the future if she wanted. I could tell that she was already back in the bedroom connected to her bathroom as I stepped out of the shower and I wasted no time slipping into the clothes she lent me. The sweatpants were a little short, but they fit me perfectly around the waist and legs. The shirt she lent me was soft and it smelled like her, her perfume permanently weaved through the fabric. 

“Man does it feel good to wash away a hangover.” I let out a heavy sigh as I walked out. 

It was slightly darker in the room, the curtains pulled shut and the door closed. Beatrice looked over her shoulder at me, smiling brightly as I walked forward. I placed my hands on her hips, giving them a soft squeeze before I stole a few kisses from her. 

“Have you picked a side?” I asked, nuzzling my nose against the shell of her ear. 

“No.” She said softly, resting her hands on my forearms. “Which side do you want?” 

“The right.” I said. “I like sleeping closest to the door.” 

“I like sleeping away from it. Look at us, like peanut butter and jelly.” She giggled. “It’s about nine forty-five and we aren’t leaving for brunch until twelve-thirty. Gemma and I made reservations for a small cafe and they’ve closed their back patio off for us.” 

“That was nice of them.” I squeezed Beatrice with a soft hum before I let go of her. I climbed over the foot of the bed, tucking my legs under the covers. She smiled at me before tucking herself in “Do you like to cuddle?” 

“I always sleep on my front with my leg and arm tossed over a pillow.” She chuckled. “I have a body pillow at home that I snuggle with, but I’ve never cuddled with an actual person....besides Claire, at least.”  

“Well, I love to cuddle.” I tapped my tummy with my palm, smiling as she shuffled closer to me. She rested her head on my shoulder, but that was all. “Don’t be shy, honey. I don’t bite...well not when I’m cuddling, at least.” 

“You have jokes, Styles.” She mumbled, hooking her leg over mine as she rested her arm against my stomach. I kissed the top of her head, smiling as she let out a happy sigh. “You smell good.” 

“I smell like you.” I tried not to laugh, afraid to jostle her. “I used all of your stuff.” 

“Good.” She said. “You’re saving the planet at least. I like no waste, vegan products that come in bottles made of recycled material.” 

“Look at you,” I hummed out, rubbing my palm over her back as she tucked her arm under my back. “Responsible and ethical. Gemma will love that.” 

“Harry?” She sounded far off, her voice fading with each word. “M’falling asleep.” 

“Go on then.” I whispered. “I’m right behind you.” 

I didn’t get a response, my heart fluttering in my chest. 

The warmth of her body had me slowly falling asleep, my eyes fluttering shut as she gripped onto my borrowed shirt with her fingers. 

Falling in love with Beatrice was the easiest thing to do. 

Claire’s POV 

When I woke up, I felt like death. 

My mouth was dry and my eyes felt glued together with the makeup left on. I refused to take it off last night, despite Bea and Tara’s arguments and attempts to wipe it off themselves. Chloe and I were definitely the lightweights out of the group, a few drinks knocked back and we were two sheets to the wind. I sat up, brushing my hand over my face as I groaned loudly. If I remembered correctly, Chloe was just beneath me on the floor, sleeping on a pallet of blankets and couch cushions. That girl could sleep anywhere if she wanted. 

I glanced down to see Matt with her, his head tucked under her chin and his body wrapped around her like a koala. I smiled even though it hurt to see them so happy together. Chloe and Matt were the classic definition of highschool sweethearts. They had been together through everything and I was often envious of the love they shared. There was one other couple in our friend group, but they were different.

I carefully stepped over Matt and Chloe, walking towards the master bedroom of our airbnb. Before I made it there, I stopped at the door next to mine. I wondered how my best friend was doing after last night. She, much like every other girl I knew, always had a crush on Harry Styles. Last night, she lived out the ultimate dream of every fangirl. I twisted the doorknob, carefully sliding in before I shut the door behind me.

 Before I even stepped into the room, I realized that she wasn’t alone. She was curled into Harry’s side, her head on his chest and his lips pressed into her forehead. My heart ached at the sight, the soft look on Bea’s face an expression I hadn’t seen on her in a while. As I was slowly retreating backwards, Harry spoke. 

“I see you over there.” His morning voice was deep and my eyes widened in shock. “I’m sorry I stole your best friend this morning.” 

“Don’t be.” I said softly. “I didn’t even notice.” 

“What time is it?” He lifted his head, rubbing at his eyes with his free hand. 

“Um, eleven, I think.” I rolled my lips in, glancing around the room as he nodded. I felt like I was invading an extremely private moment “You guys can sleep a little longer. I just thought I would pop in to check on her.” 

“I can make myself scarce if you want to take over?” Harry chuckled, glancing over at Beatrice and then back at me. “I can start up some coffee for everyone.” 

“No, don’t do that.” I shook my head. “Beatrice is horrible when she’s been woken up by someone else. She’ll bite your head off.” 

“I’m awake now.” She groaned, turning her head into Harry’s chest. “You’re so loud.”

“We’re not that loud.” I snorted out a laugh. “I’m going to shower and get ready for brunch.” 

“We’re leaving at twelve.” Beatrice sat up, a grumpy pout on her lips. “How do you feel?” 

“I’m okay.” Beatrice patted the end of her bed and I glanced back at Harry before slowly moving forward. I sat on the edge, the foot of the wrought iron bed-frame pressing into my back. 

“I made you a birthday hangover kit.” Bea said softly. “It’s on your bed.” 

“Thank you, Bea.” I said. “But I’m actually not feeling that bad.” 

“I think In N Out at three in the morning might have helped.” She giggled, leaning back into Harry as he rubbed his hand over her back. “Did you have fun, birthday girl.” 

“Loads.” I smiled. “But I’m excited for brunch today. Harry, your sister is so nice!” 

“I think you met the wrong sister,” He hummed out, shaking his head. “My sister is a pest.” 

“Your sister is a saint.” I gasped. “I’m excited for tonight, as well.” 

“You know?” Beatrice asked. “Did I tell you last night?” 

“No, but Harry asked if it was okay.” I shrugged. “I told him that I’ve been dying to see him live, so we’re going, per the birthday girl’s wishes.” 

Beatrice wouldn’t willingly go to a concert on my birthday weekend if I didn’t convince her that I wanted to go just as bad. She stared me down, trying to gauge whether or not I was telling the truth to her. I rolled my eyes, pushing her shoulder before I stood up from the foot of her bed. 

“It was nice talking to you losers, but I need to go take a very long shower to wash away the hangover that is still lingering.” I held up a peace sign. “I’ll see you at twelve.”

“You’ll see me before twelve, I need help picking what to wear.” Beatrice called out as I shut the door behind me. 

It made me happy to see her so comfortable with a man. 

As I walked into the master bedroom, I rolled my eyes at the sight of Tara and Jackson curled up on my bed. 

Friends.

Bea’s POV 

When Claire walked out, I turned back to smile at Harry. 

He’d slipped his hand up my shirt, brushing his fingers over my back while I talked to Claire. It was comforting, the feeling of him reassuring me when he knew I was in distress. I was worried that Claire would be mad at me for bringing Harry back. He had already taken over an entire day of our vacation. He must have felt the relieved sigh I let out when Claire told me she was excited for today’s activities. I wanted this vacation to be nothing short of perfect. 

“Did you have a good nap?” I asked, leaning back into his arms as he nodded. “Good, you deserved some sleep.” 

“You were very sweet to me in my sleep.” He pressed a few soft kiss against my temple. “No kicking or pushing, just sweet cuddles and a tiny bit of drool.” 

“I do not drool.” I turned my head, glaring at him. “Take that back.” 

“Oh, you do.” He giggled, shaking his head. “I won’t take back the truth.” 

“That’s awful.” I groaned, pressing my hands to my face. “We’re spooning from now on.” 

“I don’t mind that at all.” He hummed out, kissing at the skin of my neck now. “Being pressed against you while I sleep sounds like a great plan.” 

“Oh, yeah?” I giggled, turning my body around before I straddled him. “Well, you’re not the only one who’s awake, are you?” 

I glanced between our bodies, my cheeks growing warm as I felt Harry’s cock pressing into my core. I tried not to move, looking back up at him with a smug smile. He gulped, sliding both hands up my shirt as he leaned forward to press our lips together. I smiled into the kiss, pressing my hands to his shoulders as he bucked his hips up. A soft whine pulled from my throat as he did, a shockwave of pleasure shooting from head to toe. Harry broke the kiss, ducking his head down to continue his earlier path of kisses on my neck. 

“Harry.” I tilted my head back, letting out a soft sigh as he moved one hand around to my front. He let his fingers trail up, sliding over my breast before he pinched my nipple. “Oh.” 

“S’that good?” He breathed in my ear, tugging at the lobe as his finger continued to tug gently at my nipple. I nodded, feeling Harry smile against my neck. “Want it to feel better?” 

“Yes.” I nodded, gulping around the lump in my throat. I was so turned on by Harry, the tension in the room so thick I could feel it. “Please.” 

“Lift your arms up.” He whispered, removing his hands from my skin. I groaned at the loss of contact, but I did as I was told. “Good girl.” 

He pulled my shirt over my head, tossing it to the end of the bed. 

Harry’s eyes trailed over my skin, the look on his face almost unreadable. I felt nervous, being so exposed in front of Harry so early. But when he leaned forward to press a few scattered kisses over my collarbone, I didn’t feel so afraid. He kissed a trail down towards my right breast, kissing around my nipple as I rested my hands on his shoulders. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered. “Can I?” 

His breath ghosted my nipple and I knew what he was asking. 

“Please.” I whispered. 

When his tongue licked over my nipple, I nearly lost it. Seconds later, his lip was wrapped around my nipple and my body was moving on its own. I rolled over his hard cock, whining as he suckled softly on the hardening bud of my nipple. 

“Hey, Bea,” The door to my room opened before I could process what was happening. “Can I borrow- holy fuck!” 

“Jackson!” I cried out, my whole body flushing cold as I realized what was happening. “Get out!” 

“Sorry!” He called back, bumping into the doorway as Harry lifted the blankets around my body. He let me bury my face into his neck as Jackson fumbled. “I didn’t see anything.” 

“Oh my god.” I groaned, gripping at Harry’s t-shirt. “That was mortifying.” 

“Don’t be upset.” He said softly. “He didn’t see anything.”

“I can’t believe he caught us doing that.” I lifted my head, pouting my lip out. “I can’t even imagine if we were doing more.” 

“It would be okay,” Harry smiled, reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair from my face. “It’s a natural thing.” 

“Why are you so cute?” I sighed out. “You’re fucking precious, Harry.” 

“I love when you call me that.” He said softly. “Everyone always calls me H because I ask them to, but I like when you call me Harry.” 

“I’ll keep doing it then.” I smiled. “Well, on that note, I’m not feeling so sexy anymore. I think I should get up and start getting ready.” 

“You are still very sexy.” He kissed my lips. “And I hope that you enjoyed what was happening before we were so rudely interrupted.”

“I definitely was.” I whispered. “I wouldn’t mind a repeat of that some other time.” 

“It’s a date.” Harry laughed, wrapping his arms around me. 

We climbed out of bed, making ourselves decent before we decided to go to the kitchen for coffee. I hoped that someone had started brewing the coffee that I prepped the day before. When I opened the bedroom door, Harry right behind me, I smelled it down the hall. Harry pressed his hand to my hip as we shuffled into the kitchen. Jackson’s face went red when he saw us and Tara watched Harry with a smirk as we walked towards the cupboard. 

“Good morning everyone.” I said, reaching for two mugs. 

“Where’s the coffee creamer?” Harry asked softly. 

“You drink your coffee black.” I said, my brows furrowing as I started to pour the coffee. 

“You don’t though.” He said. “Do you have some in the fridge?” 

“I can get it-” Harry cut me off with a peck to my lips. He walked towards the fridge, opening it up as I turned back to look at everyone. 

“Vanilla or White Chocolate Raspberry?”

“White Chocolate.” I said, narrowing my eyes at Tara and Jackson. “Don’t you two start.”

“We’re not doing anything!” Jackson exclaimed. 

“You’re looking at me like I have three heads.” I groaned, putting the coffee pot back as Harry poured creamer in one of the mugs for me. 

“No, I’m looking at you like I just saw you getting-” 

“Lalalala.” I said, holding my hands over my ears. “We’re not talking about it.” 

“I’m just glad you finally got laid, sister.” Jackson snorted out a laugh and I turned on my feet to glare at him. “It’s about damn time.”

“Jackson!” I exclaimed. 

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” He held a hand up. “I just wanted to make you do that thing with your face.” 

“It is a cute expression.” Harry hummed out. “Are you calm enough to hold your mug or do I need to keep it.” 

“I can take my mug.” I grumbled. “I don’t like the level of abuse in this house right now.” 

“It’s all out of love, Bea.” Jackson chuckled. “Now that you’re done fucking, can I borrow your shampoo?” 

“Jackson!” 

Harry’s POV 

The peanut gallery nearly had Beatrice permanently red. 

It was adorable the first few times, but after that, I was starting to get annoyed for her. I could tell that she was a little embarrassed by their constant teasing, her body sinking with every comment made. There was an art to teasing your friends, and I felt like they were beating a dead horse. I kept my hand on her thigh the entire drive, squeezing it softly as she looked out the window. Every now and again she would join in on the conversation, but her voice wasn’t as confident and bubbly as it normally was. I also noticed that she’d started nibbling at her nails, her knee bouncing up and down nervously as she mentally spiraled, lost in her own head. I let out a heavy sigh, reaching for her hand with my own to keep her from biting at her nails. We pulled up to a stoplight and I turned my head towards her with a soft smile. 

“Kiss?” I asked softly, puckering my lips out. 

She leaned over the console, giving me a quick peck and a soft smile. 

“Oh, god,” Tara groaned from the backseat. “They’re at it again.” 

“Okay, that’s enough teasing.” Claire spoke up, a stern edge to her voice masked behind a thin veil of politeness.  “The poor girl can only handle so much in a day, let’s not push it.” “We’re just having fun-” 

“Well, it’s not fun for me.” Beatrice grumbled, sinking further in her seat. 

“We’ll stop.” Jackson said. “I’d much rather tease Claire for trying to use a street lamp as a pole last night.” 

“That was iconic, Jackson.” Claire said. “You wish you had my skills.” 

Gemma and Michael were lucky enough to get an empty car, everyone piling into the Tesla when it was time to go. I secretly wished that I had given Gemma the Tesla so Bea and I could go off on our own. When we pulled into the restaurant, everyone piled out except for Beatrice, Claire, and I. I looked in the rearview mirror, catching Claire’s sympathetic look. 

“Bea.” She turned towards her friend. “Why are they bothering you?” 

“They’re not.” She mumbled, turning her head back towards Claire. “It’s just...I never tease them for stuff like this. And Tara might have come into my room this morning to talk with me about everything and it was just….she meant well, but it made me mad.” 

“What did she say?” I asked, squeezing her fingers. “Was it about me?” 

“It was about both of us.” She cleared her throat. “But this is brunch and we’re gonna have fun. It’s not that serious, I’m just a little nervous because we’re all stuck together and this will be my first time really talking to Gemma. I don’t want it to go bad.” 

“It won’t.” Claire said. “And I’ll take care of the Tara thing.” 

“Don’t, Claire-” 

She cut Beatrice off. 

“I’m taking care of the Tara thing.” She said sternly. “Everyone else does it all the time and you never get to let loose and have fun. So fuck ‘em, babe.” 

“Thanks, Claire.” She smiled at her friend, a genuine Beatrice smile. 

My heart felt a little lighter when Claire slipped out of the car to catch up with everyone. 

“I’m sorry.” Beatrice mumbled. “I didn’t know everyone would be so….annoying about this whole thing.”

“It’s not your fault.” I whispered. “I think they’re just excited about the whole thing. Just listen to Claire and ignore them. You’ve got blessings from the birthday girl.” ‘

“She’s amazing, isn’t she.” Beatrice chuckled. “I love her.” 

“I’m starting to as well.” I snorted out a laugh. “She’s most definitely my favorite.” 

“Good.” She smiled. “I’m ready to go in if you are.” 

“Let’s just take a few more minutes to ourselves.” I said. “I want to make sure we go in with positive attitudes.” 

I told Beatrice at least twenty jokes, her hand pressed to her stomach when I opened her car door for her. There weren’t too many people out and about today, but there were a few lingering gazes as we walked hand in hand to the cafe. She didn’t seem fazed by the staring, but I was a little worried that word would spread. The last thing I wanted was to involve Beatrice and her friends in a swarm of paparazzi and fans. When we made it to the back patio, Claire saved two seats next to her at the end of the table. We sat down right across from Gemma and Michael who were lost in their own little world. 

“Good morning, sister.” I nudged her foot under the table. “Michael.” 

“Good morning.” They both parroted back to us. 

“I see you snuck out quite early this morning, Harry.” Gemma noted, looking up at me with a smug smirk. “Where did you go?” 

“We went on a walk.” I bumped Bea’s shoulder with my own, winking at her when she looked up at me. A soft blush blossomed on her freckled cheeks “We just went to Solstice Canyon.” 

“Oh, that’s a lovely park.” Gemma nodded. “Did you enjoy it, Bea?” 

“Yeah, I did.” She nodded back at my sister. “I’m sorry I hijacked your brother from you this morning.” 

“You can keep him.” Gemma snorted out a laugh. “Beatrice, has Harry told you about the time he played church mouse in a Christmas Play? He was about five or six then.” 

“No, he hasn’t.” Beatrice looked up at me as my face went bright red. 

“He wee’d himself on stage he was nervous.” She giggled, looking over at me. “But he was a proper cute mouse. I have pictures if you’d like to see.” 

“Why do you still have pictures?” I groaned. 

“Because you were an adorable little rat.” She smiled up at me. “Still are.”

Bea’s POV 

Tara and Jackson had never acted so rude before. 

I was so annoyed by their constant teasing in the car about Harry and I that I couldn’t even stand to look at them during brunch. Instead, I kept my focus on Gemma, Michael, Harry, and Claire. They were the highlight of my day so far, joking around with good intentions as we waited for the waitress to come take our drink orders. Chloe and Matt were lost in their own world, whispering down at their end of the table without so much as a second glance at everyone else. I never understood their ‘attached at the hip’ deal until Harry. I would gladly sit in a corner and talk to only him while everyone else dicked around. But I had a sister to impress. 

“So hotel sales sounds interesting.” Gemma said, taking a sip of her water. “How did you get into that?” 

“I fell into it really.” I shrugged my shoulders. “My mom works in hotels and I started helping her out when she needed an extra hand. Eventually, I caught the attention of one of our sales managers and she took me under her wing.” 

“And what exactly do you do?” Gemma asked. 

“So I do more event planning than anything, but I essentially set and build rate plans with our accounting team and I make sure that groups and stuff have the right rate. I do a lot of networking with people to bring in revenue for our catering and front desk team.” 

“That’s really cool.” Gemma said. “I would love to plan parties.” 

“It’s fun, but it can definitely be challenging from time to time.” I laughed. 

“Hello, everyone!” Our waitress bound up to the table, standing right next to Claire with a notepad in hand. “Are you guys ready to order drinks?” 

“Yes.” Claire nodded. “Can we do two pitchers of the O.G Mimosa’s and then two pitchers of the blood orange mimosas?”

“Absolutely.” The waitress jotted down the order, but my stomach churned at the thought of champagne. “Anything else?” 

“Yes, actually,” Harry said. “Is there any other alternative to champagne? I read somewhere that people substitute it with hard sparkling cider.” 

“Oh, yeah!” She nodded. “That’s actually how I drink it. What I suggest is getting the ‘orange juice bar’ which is just a few different flavors of orange juice and then two cans of cider per person. You mix it up yourself in a champagne flute so you’re in control of the amount.” 

“The two of us will do that.” Harry gestured towards me with a soft smile. “And two orders of the waffle bar as an appetizer for the table.” 

“Perfect!” The waitress nodded. “I’ll be right back with all of that for you guys.” 

“Thank you.” We all said in unison. 

“Hard cider?” Claire asked Harry, a knowing smirk on her lips as she sipped at her water.

“Beatrice doesn’t like champagne.” Harry shrugged, squeezing my shoulder softly. He’d slung his arm around the back of my chair earlier and I was grateful that I could lean into his side as we all chatted. “Figured we’d save her the hassle of a nasty hangover.” 

“That’s really sweet, Harry.” Claire cooed. 

“It really is.” I squeezed his thigh, smiling up at him as a warm feeling flooded my chest. “I really appreciate that, Harry. Thank you.” 

“Of course.” He hummed out, leaning forward. He gave me a soft kiss on the lips before kissing my nose. “I know you’re excited about the waffle bar, too.” 

“Extremely.” I nodded. “I can’t wait to try the blueberry syrup and the chocolate waffle.” 

“That sounds perfect.” Claire groaned. 

“What should I get for food though?” He hummed softly. “I’m really torn between the avocado toast and the french toast.” 

“I had a feeling that you would be an avocado man.” I scrunched up my nose, glancing over at him as he rested his chin on my shoulder. “I think I’m going for the french toast. I can’t stop thinking about how good that triple berry trifle was and now I just want berries.” 

“Yeah?” He chuckled. “Maybe I’ll join you.” 

“Or you could get something different and we can split and share.” I suggested, glancing back at him. “That way, if you don’t like yours or I don’t like mine, we can swap.” 

“You’re so bloody brilliant, you know that?” Harry smirked, leaning forward to kiss me again. “I like the way you think.” 

Gemma fake gagged from across the table and I rolled my eyes playfully as Harry groaned at her response. He stuck his tongue out at her and she mimicked the action. I laughed at the two of them as they continued to bicker back and forth as if they were all still five years old. 

“Think I’m going to get the calamari, Gem. What do you think?” Michael asked. 

It was my turn to let out a fake gagging noise similar to the one Gemma made, scrunching up my nose.

“Is that what you consider brunch food, Michael?” She laughed before leaning over to kiss his cheek as he blushed. “Whatever makes you happy.” 

“Squid makes me happy.” 

“Gross,” I mumbled under my breath. “Squid?” 

“Not a fan of squid, I take it?” Harry squeezed my thigh and I shook my head in response. 

“Not a fan of seafood either, squid.” I glanced over at him, a small shiver of disgust racking down my spine. 

“And to think, I almost ordered the calamari.” He hummed, a teasing glint in his eyes. “Guess it’s a good thing that I didn’t.” 

“Yeah, it is.” I said playfully. “There would be no more kisses for you after that.” 

“Well, no more squid for me then.” He leaned over, pressing his lips to mine. “Wouldn’t want to miss out on any of these sweet kisses, would I?” 

“I suppose not.” I giggled when Harry kissed me again, only pulling away because the waitress returned to the table. 

Our cider and orange juices were sat down in front of us before the pitchers were brought to the table. Claire wasted no time pouring herself a glass while the waffle bar was brought out. I was so excited to try my new form of mimosa that I didn’t even worry about the waffles. Harry noticed my excitement, grabbing a can of the hard cider. I watched him pop the top with his nimble fingers, my eyes glued to every movement of his hand as he poured the cider into the glass. 

“Which do you want?” He asked me, putting the can down. “I didn’t even know there was more than one flavor of orange juice.” 

“Do the dark orange one there,” I suggested, pointing at the carafe. “It’s blood orange, just like the seltzer.” 

“That sounds delightful.” He hummed, wrapping his fingers around the carafe. My mouth watered as I watched his hands work again, pouting and shuffling things around effortlessly. “Something on your mind, Beatrice?” 

“Hmmm?” I asked, snapping my eyes up to his. 

He was smirking at me, the carafe of blood orange juice still in his hands. 

“You seem a little distracted.” He said softly. “Care to tell me what’s on your mind?” 

“I’d rather not while your sister is at the table.” I whispered. “Thank you so much for this, darling. I really appreciate it.” 

“Of course.” He held his glass up to mine. “Drink up.” 

[waitimcomingtoo]

Ghosting

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader but he’s dead 😔

Masterlist

“Do you have to go out tonight?” You pouted at Peter perched himself on the fire escape. He reached sour to hold your hand, but it wasn’t the same. The iron suit was safer and more intuitive, but it prevented you from feeling the warmth of your boyfriends hands.

“There was a robbery down on Bleeker street. I can get a better aerial view than the cops can.” Peter told you, giving your hand a squeeze. You frowned, not liking the idea of him getting involved so late at night.

“Was it an armed robbery?” You questioned, and his face told you everything you needed to know. You looked down but he tilted your chin up so you would look at him.

“My suit is bulletproof.” He reminded you and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips.

“But your face isn’t.” You sighed. Peter could see the fear in your eyes and gave you an assuring smile.

“My mask will be on. I can’t risk anything happening to this.” He gestured to his face and shot you a wink, making you laugh lightly.

“Are you sure?” You worried. “I thought you were still having troubles with your suit. What if the mask comes off again?”

“That hasn’t happened in weeks. I’ll be fine, baby. Don’t you worry that pretty little head.” Peter pulled you in for another kiss, letting it linger this time.

“I can’t help it. I love you too much.” You smiled sadly as he rested his forehead against yours. Peter chuckled and kissed the tip of your nose.

“I love you even more. I’ll be home in an hour. Two, tops. Then I’m all yours. Sound good?” He asked you as he prepared to leave.

“Sounds good.” You said reluctantly. “Be safe.”

“Don’t you know who you’re talking to? I’m Spiderman, baby. I’m always safe.” He winked at you again, making you roll your eyes this time. His mask enveloped his face and he gave you a wave.

“I love you.” You called after him as he swung away.

“Love you.” He yelled into the night.

The sound of a gunshot woke you out of your sleep. An ice cold sweat adhered your shirt to your skin, making you throw the covers off. You stared at the ceiling for a moment, thinking about the last time you saw Peter. That dream had been plaguing you for the past six years. You always knew what was coming. And you always woke up in a cold sweat with a rock in your stomach. You put a hand over your mouth to muffle your cries and turned to face the wall. Your body shook as silent sobs escaped your lips. It wasn’t long before you heard your boyfriend stir and sit up beside you.

“What’s wrong?” He grumbled, rubbing his eyes. He was used to this, being woken up by your crying. He could usually tune it out, and did, but tonight pushed him a little too far. It was the third time that week he’d heard you crying over Peter. He wasn’t gonna tune it out anymore.

“Nothing. Go back to bed.” You tried to keep your voice steady as you wiped your face on your sleeve.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” He said, voice tired but not from lack of sleep.

“I’m fine, Nick.” You repeated, trying to hold back tears so he wouldn’t get suspicious. You shifted your head on the damp pillowcase to hide the wet spot in case he turned on the lights. All your efforts were pointless. He already heard. He always heard, and you knew that it broke his heart every time.

“Is it gonna be like this every night?” He snapped and turned the bedside lamp on. You sat up and plastered a fake smile on your face.

“No.” You shook your head and he rolled his eyes. “I said I’m fine. Just go back to sleep.

“I can’t. I can’t sleep.” Nick yelled, throwing the covers off of himself to get out of bed. You jumped a little at his tone and held the blankets close to your body. “Not when you’re crying right beside me over another man. How am I supposed to sleep knowing that you’d rather be with someone else?” He pointed an accusing finger at you and your lip began to tremble. Not from fear, but from anger.

“He’s dead!” You shouted as tears stung your eyes. “So what if I’m crying over him? It’s not like I can be with him. He just comes and visits me when I’m dreaming every now and then.”

“You still love him.” Nick put his hands on his hips and looked at your tearfully. “You still love him and you wish you were with him instead of me.”

“That’s not true. I love you and I want us to be together. But when you act like this,” your voice broke, “then yeah, I wish I were still with him.”

Nick stares at you for a moment, silent tears running down his face. In the year you’d been together, you’d never seen him cry. You didn’t even know he was capable. It frightened you to see him like this.

“How are we supposed to be together when you are still in love with your ex? It’s been 6 years, Y/n. You need to move on.” He said through gritted teeth. Any remorse you felt for him melted into anger.

“I have moved on.” You declared. “I said yes to your date, to your advances, to moving in with you, to everything! But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss him.” You cried and he let out a humorless laugh.

“Miss him? You’re still in love with him!” He shouted at you. “I can’t keep living in his shadow. I can’t spend the rest of my life with a woman who would rather be with a pile of dust.”

“How dare you?” You said gravely, seething with anger. Your eyes flickered to the urn on your desk where you kept Peters ashes before they farted back to Nick.

“How dare I? How dare you?” He bellowed. “You’re lying to the both of us every time you say you love me.”

“That’s not true!” You protested.

“If he came back tomorrow, who would you pick?” Nick asked, suddenly calm. “Who’s arms would you run into? His or mine?”

His anger was gone, and now he just looked upset. He wiped his face with his hands as he waited for an answer.

“His.” You muttered and he nodded his head, looking up at the ceiling to avoid your guilt ridden eyes.

“That’s what I thought.” He sucked his teeth and turned his back to you. You went around the bed to get closer, still keeping a short distance between the two of you.

“I don’t understand why you’re so angry.” You said quietly. “You have been so understanding about this our entire relationship but you pick tonight to explode on me? I know I’ve put you through more than anyone should have to go through, but you have to understand why.”

Nick slowly turned around and sized you up.

“So tell me. Why?” He shrugged and clasped his hands together.

“Because loved him, and he loved me.” You smiled as crystal clear tears ran down your face. “I thought I was gonna be with him for the rest of my life. But that didn’t happen. So I’m sorry if I have a little baggage after the love of my life died, but this hasn’t been easy for me either.”

Nick glared at you, anger pooling into his light green eyes.

“You did it again.” He shook his head. “You called him the love of your life. What am I?”

“You’re my boyfriend. And you aren’t being fair. You think I don’t know how much it hurts you when I talk about him? You think I can’t see the look on your face when I bring him up? Or when I have lunch dates with his aunt? But you would never admit that to me. You didn’t want to admit that it hurt you. So how can you yell at me now? I’ve been crying over him nearly every night since we started going out. What makes tonight so special? Why does it upset you now?” You asked him desperately. He looked at you blanks, embarrassed that you saw through his coverup.

“I guess I just decided that I had enough.” He said lowly, eyes tearing into you. There was something animalistic about his gaze that made your pulse quicken.

“Maybe I’ve had enough too.” You whispered, eyes trailing from Nicks face to Peters urn. The way the moonlight was coming in through the window gave it an appearance that it was glowing. You smiled for a moment, almost being able to feel his touch on your now.

“I think it’s time we call it quits.” Nick swallowed and you nodded.

“I think so too.” You gave him an apologetic smile that he wanted no part of. He brushed past you and opened the closet, beginning to take his clothes out and set them on the bed.

“Nick, please. You don’t have to leave. This is your apartment. I’ll go.” You offered when he began to transfer his clothes into a suitcase.

“Don’t bother. I hate this apartment. And I hate that thing staring at me every night.” He said as he pointed at the urn. You silently watched him pack his clothes, making no further attempts to stop him. He raised the handle of his suit case and approached you, solemn look in his eyes.

“Just so you know, anybody else wouldn’t have lasted a day in this relationship. I tried to stick it out, but you just won’t change.” He said bitterly. You stepped aside so he could reach the door, but grabbed his arm before he could leave.

“I’m sorry. Really, I am. But I love him.” You said and Nick looked away. “And you’re right, that’s never going to change.”

Nicks gaze returned to you and you could almost see hesitation in his eyes. You thought he might accept your apology until his eyes shifted to Peters urn. He swallowed and looked back at you, having made up his mind.

“I’ll be back tomorrow to get the rest of my things.” He said, and left the room, taking the remains of your relationship with him.

Tag List 🏷

@maybemona​ @foreverxholland​ @writingforhoursonend​ @lavender-writer​ @captainmandeestudent17​ @whatareyouhidingpeter​ @takenbyheartstrings​ @ultrunning​ @imyourliquor-youremypoison​ @theolwebshooter​ @andreasworlsboring101​ @guksmyfav​ @waiting-to-be-myself​ @letsloveimagines​ @peterparkoure​ @a-villain-vying-for-attention​ @justcallmehitgirl​ @averyfosterthoughts​ @jackiehollanderr​ @tiny-friggin-human​ @celestial-skylines​ @mara-twins​ @iamaunicorn4704​ @delicately-important-trash​ @spideygirl2003​ @the-crazy-fanfictionist​ @maryjanee23​ @spacebitch2​ @geeksareunique​ @emmamarshmellow​ @jillanaholland​ @unbelievableholland​ @rebekkah4766​ @flixndchill​ @sovereignparker​ @wendaiii @thisisthebiplace​ @spideydobrik​ @every-marveler-ever​ @undiadeestos​ @caelestii-e​ @eridanuswave​​ @itscaminow​​ @thegr8kush​​ @solarxmoonchild​ @where-art-thau-romeo​ @canyouevencauseicant​ @probablyparker​ @illwritetomorrow​ @thehappygrungelife​ @saysomethingspiderman​ @parkerboop​ @smilexcaptainx​ @hes-amarillo​ @quaksonhehe​ @kelieah​ @cahosinparadise​ @silteplaittais-toi​ @kickingn-ames @purefluff @seasidecrowbar @lovelessdagger @love-sick-blues​ @todaynotseen

[rai-wick]

Gally x Reader Chapter 7: Admittance

Y/N's P.O.V

I tucked into my breakfast of porridge, enjoying the silence before a tired Minho came and slumped down beside me.I raised an eyebrow as he groaned.

"No sleep and running makes Me-ho tired"

"Sucks to be you"

"Slim it"He muttered as Newt and Chuck sat down.

"You look like klunk"Newt commented, eating his porridge. Minho glared at him and Newt sent me a grin as I laughed.

"I feel like klunk" He mumbled as Gally came into view. His face was twisted into a scowl and his fists were clenched.

"What's up with him?"I shrugged in response to Minho. Gally has been moody all week however I can't forget the small smirk he had when I stumbled onto him. It still made my heart flutter when I thought about it.

"____!"Gally yelled, beckoning me over.

"That's my cue"I put my bowl back and headed to where Gally was standing, his hands on his hips matched with a scowl.

"If you're done chit-chatting and being chummy with Newt , you have to go wood-collecting with me"I rolled my eyes as he glared at me and collected his axe. I followed him into the forest sighing. The trees had quite thick trunks and were taller then they were wide.

"This one" Gally pointed to a oddly narrow tree at the core of the forest. Gally chopped the branches as I collected them and threw it into a pile. My eyes wandered over to his handsome form.He swung his axe high above his head, brought it down fast and dug it deep into the tree before repeating. His face was scrunched in concentration, his muscles tense and outlined as he swung his axe. I found myself staring and began picking up the dropped branches.

After a while, we took a break and he threw me a water bottle as we sat down on a fallen tree trunk. I gulped down some water then splashed some on my face to cool down.Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gally's green gaze on me. Blushing, I wiped the water from my face as he stared at his axe and the branches.

Gally's P.O.V

I saw her blush as she wiped the water from her face. What was she thinking about? Could it be Newt? Shuck! What did that slinthead have that I don't? I stared at my axe and went back to chopping as ______ followed suit. A few minutes later, I heard her gasp, looking around I saw her clutching her finger"What's wrong?"

"Bloody branch stuck a splinter in my finger" I looked at her finger to see quite a big splinter sticking out of her index finger.

"Hold on" I got the medi-kit Clint gave me for emergencies and sat her down on the fallen tree trunk. "This is going to pinch"I pulled tweezers out and she sighed in frustration.

"Just do it" She clenched her teeth as I began pulling the splinter out"Get it done" She groaned as the splinter picked at her skin. I pulled the splinter out and she let out a gasp of relief. The blood began to ooze out and I quickly bandaged it up.

"You have to be more careful" I said gruffly, packing up the kit.

"It stings"She pouted, I quickly turned as to not smile at her adorable face. "So get Newt to kiss it better"I muttered angrily.

"What? Why would I do that?" She giggled, giving me a quizzical look"Do you think I like Newt?"She crossed her arms as I turned my back to her"Gally!"She faced me towards her crossly.

"Of course you do! Everyone can clearly see that"I narrowed my eyes in anger.

"That's not true!"She threw her hands up in exasperation"Why are you so angry for anyways?"She leaned against the tree trunk and looked at me "You hate me remember?" She looked down for a second before back at me.

"It's your fault"The words I wanted to say were at the tip of my tongue but I couldn't say them.

"So you've been mean to me since we met, been moody all week yet I'm getting the blame!?!" She glared at me in confused anger.

"Yes!"I snapped, standing in front of her. I placed a hand on the tree, looking down at her as she gazed up at me. "You've been on my mind since you got here, what with your beautiful looks, amazing personality and badass skills, you're irresistible! I don't hate you! I could never hate you, my biggest regret was fighting you since all I've wanted to do is call you mine!"I took a deep breath as she stared at me. There was a silence as our eyes locked in a stare.

"It's about bloody time you shank"She grabbed me by my shirt and slammed her lips into mine. After a few seconds, I hungrily kissed her back, gripping her waist. I felt a flame burst inside me and I pulled her closer. We finally broke apart, panting slightly as we gazed at each other.

"I've wanted to do that for a long shucking time"____ smiled at my words"But I thought you liked Newt"

"No way! I've always liked you Gally. Newt is just a friend, I'm all yours" She smirked as my cheeks heated up.

"Hell yeah" I met her lips once again as she slipped her hands around my neck. We would have stayed there longer if we hadn't heard Winston yell for ____. We quickly moved apart as we heard footsteps approaching. I picked up my axe as ____ tided the pile of branches. Winston came into view, panting slightly.

"____, Captain Gally" I waved my hand as he turned to ____"Frypan wants you to see what's wrong with his table"She nodded as he left. I glanced at ____ and saw her giggle, running a hand through her now short hair.

"I'm guessing we keep quiet about this" I sighed as she nodded.

"If we told them, their reactions would be unpredictable and all our respect could be lost."I pulled a leaf out of her hair and she gave me a small smile.

"I never did tell you how beautiful you look with your new hairstyle" She blushed and playfully shoved me.

"If you keep being this sweet, I'm going to get a cavity"I chuckled and kissed her softly.She smiled and picked up the branches"I'll see ya at dinner"I put my axe on my shoulder and headed to the Builder's section, a warm feeling glowing inside me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[seijuurouxryuu]

wash the sweetness off my title and give me a crown

Title: wash the sweetness off my title and give me a crown Author: Shiro (TeitoxAkashi [AO3]/ seijuurouxryuu [tumblr]) Rating: T Pairing: Tsuna/Fon Event: @khrrarepairweek Prompts: Sugar Baby/Sugar Daddy AU | Idiots to Lovers Tags/Warnings: No Archive Warning

Day 7: Mist Day

Lying in his embrace was what he loved--along with the tender touches, the gentle stroke, the fond smile. Seeing him so relaxed as opposed to how he usually was in the office was so rewarding, that even the money he gave was no longer the main reason why Tsuna stayed. Tsuna stayed because he had fallen for him--his sugar dad.

AO3

Lying in his embrace was what he loved--along with the tender touches, the gentle stroke, the fond smile. Seeing him so relaxed as opposed to how he usually was in the office was so rewarding, that even the money he gave was no longer the main reason why Tsuna stayed. Tsuna stayed because he had fallen for him--his sugar dad.

 Fon chuckled at the adoring gaze Tsuna gave him, thumb caressing his cheeks softly as he held him tight. "What's wrong? Are you not tired?"

 Tsuna nuzzled against the warm palm, humming. "I am, but I want to look at you a bit longer."

 Fon's eyes turned to slit from smiling. "Why so sweet?" He asked without really wanting an answer. He leaned in and kissed Tsuna on the lips. "You did good today, what reward do you want?"

 Tsuna's mood fell a little at that, having to be reminded of their actual relationship. He was reminded of how he was just temporary--never forever. He could not be with him forever even if Tsuna desperately wanted to; that was what they had mentioned in the contract. That someday, they will separate and to never recognise each other ever again. Remembering that burned his heart, like a burning iron poking relentlessly in attempts to pierce through the glass that was his shield.

 It hurt.

 Tsuna shook his head. "No, I'm just doing what I am supposed to do so there's no need for reward." I do not need a reward; I just want you to look at me forever.

 Fon raised an eyebrow. "This is the first time I see anyone rejecting a reward." He stated bluntly. "But no matter, I will reward you still. Because I want to." He added softly to cut off Tsuna's protest. It was true that he wanted to reward Tsuna. The young man had helped him a lot, especially during the party.

 Tsuna was a money launderer who was forced into this business by the environment he lived in. He had a talent for it--all the money he laundered always ended up cleaner than disinfected surfaces.

 Fon found him one fine night where Tsuna fainted beside his car from hunger. He took him in and provided him shelter in a heartbeat, and employed him to be his sole, exclusive money launderer in another. Since then, Tsuna lived very well with stomach full and body warm; he no longer needs to overwork himself with double part-time + money laundering + university and can easily pay off his tuition fees.

 He lived so well, that it felt like a dream to him.

 A year after, their relationship escalated when Fon brought him to a gathering with other underworld leaders. Tsuna did not remember what happen, but he had helped the other fend off a lot of hungry ladies and young men by fiercely making out with the other. The consequence was another contract signed: Being Fon's sugar baby.

 It was wild, now that Tsuna thought of it, embarrassing even, but he did not regret any of his decision in the end.

 Because ever since Fon saved him, he had always loved him.

 Although, Fon was in the dark, of course.

 Fon had brought Tsuna to a party the night before, one that was full with business men of good and bad. One particularly vulgar business man was trying to hit on Fon and had insulted Tsuna throughout. Fon almost jabbed him in the throat and pull out his tongue if not for Tsuna, in a calm manner, talked down the other. It was amazing to see how the skittish young man held his head high as he exposed the ugly man's dirty laundries.

 Fon was enamored.

 Tsuna pouted, pulling at the duvet to cover the lower half of his face. "... Then I want the Salisbury steak you make."

 Fon chuckled as he ruffled the messy brown hair. "Of course." He stood up from the bed as he kissed his forehead. “I’ll be right back.”

 Tsuna flushed and buried himself deeper into the duvet. At the click of bedroom door shut, Tsuna knew he was alone in their bedroom. He sighed and slumped.

 “I want… You to love me. Forever.” He whispered to thin air.

 .

 “The Bank of E, you say?” Reborn raised an eyebrow at Tsuna who had his eyes glued to the computer monitors as he typed furiously on the keyboard. “Yep.” The young man was chipping away through the said bank’s security system, planting unrecognizable codes in each of the originals. He was looking for something; one tiny important detail that he had overlooked for so long.

 His presumably dead father’s account.

 “What makes you think Iemitsu had the mind to keep his British account when he’s off the grid?”

 Iemitsu had went into hiding for almost three years after leaving mafia, feigning his death for the freedom he wished for. His Don knew, but kept quiet for old friend’s sake. Tsuna knew, but it was none of his business to keep quiet.

 Tsuna didn’t hate Iemitsu; he had a grudge with him. For what, only he knew the specifics.

 “He had it under another name. Never used it for so many years it got frozen. Just enough for me to launder it over and back.”

 Reborn raised an eyebrow. “Do you not think someone would realize?”

 Tsuna finally looked up and gave him a deadpanned look. Reborn shrugged, hands raised. “Whatever fits your bill, I guess. Your laundry, your wash.”

 Tsuna looked back at the screen.

 He found the account. Looking at the last date of retrieval, it was his turn to raise an eyebrow. “Well, looks like that dead beat father of mine is making a comeback of some sort.”

 He keyed in the amount of money and bitcoins, and entered.

 “Not that it matters to me.”

 .

 “Exactly 19, 098, 232, 000£ has been transferred to the bank. In two days’ time, I will retrieve it and put it under investment for the upcoming projects.” Tsuna reported beside Fon’s table, putting the relevant documents on his desk as he skimmed through his own copy.

 “10million USD has been transferred over to our sister branches about three days ago; they have been transferred back in batches of 5 since then. And the last 5billion has been written off as the company asset just this morning by the Ministries.”

 Fon nodded, putting down the documents and smiled up at Tsuna. “Good job. This season’s work is done.”

 Tsuna sighed in relief, rolling his stiff shoulders. “Thank you, sir.” Just as he was about to leave for the other to continue his work, he was pulled down by the wrist.

 He sat down on Fon’s leg. “W-wha—”

 Fon gave him a deep kiss.

 “Reward.” He whispered into his mouth.

 .

 Because he no longer needed to do any laundering for the month, Tsuna went back to university and was immediately besieged by piles and piles of assignments. All were easy enough for him to do, but he liked none of them. In fact, they were very annoying theories and calculations, all which Reborn had taught him before. Child’s play, Reborn would say. Tsuna would say its just plain unreasonable because none of them would actually appear in real life.

 Like some Math questions; who the fuck would buy 151 bananas just to give them away to 20 people and count how many unique combinations can be made by each unique banana.

 Tsuna huffed, slumping onto the bench table as he poked at his laptop. He missed being by Fon’s side. He was happy that he finally had holiday from work after 3 months of cracking codes and stuffing money into different laundromats, but at least he was by Fon’s side almost every day. With him in university and Fon working, he could only see him every few days. It was just plain sad for him.

 Perhaps he should ditch the afternoon class and give Fon a surprise…

 His sixth sense suddenly noticed danger and started ringing, but he couldn’t even sit straight before he was knocked out into darkness.

 .

 Fon crushed the tea cup he was holding, murderous aura seeping through his being as he glared up the trembling subordinate of his. “Repeat.”

 “S-sawada disappeared.”

 “How did that happen? Did I not tell each and every one of you to watch over him carefully?”

 The subordinate sweated profusely. “W-we… Got knocked out ourselves.”

 Fon almost wanted to snap his head off. Reborn, who sat opposite of him smoking and drinking rice wine snorted. “Wow, I think it’s time for you to either retrain your subordinates or get new ones. I reckon you do the latter since I want to kill them off myself.” He picked up his phone and started tapping through his contacts. He looked as usual, but he, like Fon, was angered. Tsuna was Fon’s sugar baby, but Tsuna was his student first. The second and last he took in, one of his pride.

 Whoever it was, they better pray that they hide well because once Reborn and Fon find them, they would pay a thousand times more.

 Fon took the napkin from his secretary, I-Pin, and wiped his hands. He wasn’t even smiling anymore as he looked at Reborn. “Find him.” He said to I-Pin. “For every hour he is not found, snap on of these useless trash’s fingers off.”

 The subordinate crumbled and knelt, started pleading desperately as I-Pin waved her hands and two other guys came in to drag the poor dude out.

 “Yes, brother.”

 “Wait.” Reborn interjected before I-Pin took off. They both turned and stare at him as Reborn sneered, almost crushing his phone. “It’s Iemitsu.”

 Fon paused. “I thought he’s off the grid now.”

 “Apparently not.” Reborn tossed him his phone where a picture was on screen.

 A selfie of Iemitsu smiling at a sleeping Tsuna.

 Fon sighed. “I-Pin, prepare some proper gifts.” I-Pin stifled a laugh. “Yes.”

 Reborn smirked at him. “Time to meet the in-laws?”

 Fon rolled his eyes. “Yes, time to meet the in-laws.” He smiled to himself as he touched his pocket where the ring box was.

 .

 Tsuna loved Fon, and Fon knew that all along. Tsuna never realized one thing: Fon loved him all the same and he wanted him to be more than just his sugar baby; he wanted him to be his forever, in Law, in Crime.

--------------------------------

A/N: I ended like that because I've no idea where I want it to go anymore aND I JUST WANT IT TO ENDAs tagged; Tsuna is a money launderer who did it for money to survive university, Fon is a boss of big corporate who needed a money launderer for both the corporate and his triad, and Reborn is Tsuna's tutor who taught him how to launder.

Iemitsu is basically on the run for pissing off a shit ton of Famiglia in Italy and Europe, and because he resigned from Vongola so he no longer has any protection. When Tsuna used his bank account for money laundering, he finally found out what he was doing and decided to 'kidnap' his son to talk and get solace in Fon's triad. That's his baby tuna, dammit. The least his son-in-law could do is to protect his ass!

:3

What grudge Tsuna has against Iemitsu, I'll leave that up to yall.

[I apologize for any grammar, spellings, etc. etc. mistakes]

[monaownsmyass]

Us Against Them

Book: Queen B, (after) Chapter 11

Pairing: Zoey Wade x MC (Bea Hughes)

Genre: Mostly fluff but there’s a little angst in the beginning 

Rating: Uh, PG13?

Word count: 3,348 (It just keeps increasing lol)

A/N: This occurs directly after Chapter 11. For the sake of this fic, Carter will be put to use. As soon as MC finds out about the folder, she tells Carter to post the cards instead and immediately goes to search for Zoey but she’s still too late.

"You are Poppy," her cold voice rang in my ears, leaving me rooted in my place. Those three words played over and over again on repeat in my head.

"Zo, wait!" I reached out to gently grab her hand. I saw her flinch then tense at my touch. I could feel my heart start to break. Physical affection was always our thing but now I've lost that too.

She made no move to pull her hand away but with a defeated sigh, she asked, "What do you want, Bea?" Her voice was tired, cracking as she spoke.

It hurt to see her like this. To see this confident, exuberant, sunshine of a person almost on the verge of tears again made my heart hurt like nothing else ever had.

"I swear as soon as I found out, I only told Carter to post it and then immediately went to look for you! But I was too late!" I exclaimed. "In that moment, all I could think about was you, but I thought I had at least a few seconds to tell him what to do. I was wrong and I'm so, so sorry, Zo."

She looked me straight into my eyes. Her teary eyes shining under the streetlight while mine pleaded at her to listen to me.

"Please, Zo," I begged. "You have to believe me. Please."

"I... I want to believe you, Bea," she admitted. "I really do," she paused again. "But I'm not sure I can... I don't know if I can forgive you yet." She pulled her hand away but remained her gaze on mine, conflicted.

"Zoey," I uttered her name, slowly stretching my hand out to touch her face, giving her time to pull away. She didn't. I stepped closer to her as my palm cupped her cheek. I felt her hesitant before leaning into my touch. My thumb swiped just under her eye, wiping away the tears.

I hated that I was the cause of these tears. The fact that I hurt her enough to make her cry was making me sick to the stomach, even if it wasn't intentional.

"You don't have forgive me, not yet," I whispered. "Just let me make it up to you."

"Bea..." she started but I cut her off.

"I can't lose you, Zo. Just the thought of you being mad at me kills me."

"I'm not mad. I'm just... disappointed." That somehow broke me even more.

"At least let me take care of you, just for tonight. You've been through so much already and you always take care of me, it's the least I could do. Just... let me treat you right."

Defences crumbling down, she pulled me into her and buried her face into my shoulder despite being taller than me. My heart leapt at the contact.

"Damn you, asshole," she mumbled into my shoulder. "I can't say no to you."

I let out a small laugh of relief as I hugged her back. I kissed to crown of her head before speaking, "I know this doesn't mean you forgive me, but I'll try to make it up to you. Promise."

We broke apart and made our way back to our place in comfortable silence. Once we stepped foot into our apartment, I spoke up, "We should probably get cleaned."

"Yeah," she agreed. "Sorry I got you dirty as well."

"No, don't say that." I move towards her. "We're in this together." To demonstrate my point, I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her tight. More squashed tomatoes and wine found their way onto my skin, hair and lingerie. I paid no mind to it, just simply enjoying her embrace.

"I'll always be here for you. We'll get through this together."

I couldn't gauge her reaction to my words as I couldn't see her face but I felt her nod and that was enough to let me know she understood I wasn't going anywhere.

I lead her to the bathroom and turned on the shower for her. I looked back and saw Zoey already stripping off what little fabric she had on.

"Uh, don't you want to wait till I get out first?" my breath hitched as I averted my gaze elsewhere. She was quite literally breathtaking but I knew this wasn't the time.

"Actually," she said quietly, almost shy. "I want you to join me. If you want to, that is."

I smiled at her gently. "Of course, I'd love to."

I removed my garments and toss them onto Zoey's pile. We stepped into the shower, hand-in-hand.

Nothing about this was sexual but it was it was the most intimate thing I've experienced. We held onto each other as the water washed away the tomatoes and the wine. I scrubbed her soft skin, worshipping every inch of her body as I did so.

Washing off the stains that were left behind on her body, I looked into her eyes, trying to express how much I cared for her, that I'd do anything for her. With the way her captivating brown eyes stared back into mine, I knew she'd do the same for me.

The eye contact alone was enough to make my cheeks burn with heat. I leaned up to plant a kiss on her lips and she held me closer to her. It was all so overwhelming. The kiss was full of eagerness and adoration for one another as we poured all our emotions into it.

"You mean so much to me," I whispered into our kiss. "I hope you know that."

"I can tell," she joked back and I smiled. There's my Zo. "You mean a lot to me too."

I could cry just hearing her say that.

Once we were done showering, we put on some comfy clothes before I reached down to grab our dirty lingerie.

"It's fine, Bea," Zoey said from behind me. "I'll wash my own clothes, you don't have to do it ."

"No, I want to, let me do this for you," I replied, looking over my shoulder at her. "Just go put on a movie or something, I'll be with you in a sec."

Zoey looked like she was going to argue but instead, her face soften and she lets out an infectious grin. "As stubborn as always, I see."

She leaned down to peck me on the cheek and the turned to go to the living room.

"You know it," I called out after her and smiled. It seems like she was warming up to me again and I couldn't be more grateful. I didn't know if I could survive with Zoey being upset with me for much longer.

I wasn't sure if the stains would come off but I went to go soak our underwear and stopped by the kitchen before joining Zoey on the couch. I grabbed a bottle of wine, a tub of ice cream, two spoons and two glasses.

"Brought the good stuff, huh?" Zoey mused when she saw what I was carrying.

"Ice cream always makes people feel better, you can't tell me otherwise," I kid. "Plus you always give me wine so I thought I'd return the favour. And it won't really be a 'Zoey/Bea Night' without it, right?"

"You're definitely right about that, babe," she laughed and my heart swelled.

'Babe,' I thought to myself as I tried but failed to fight the smile working it's way onto my face. I wasn't sure I'd ever hear that again.

"What are you smiling about, you dork?" she giggled and patted the seat beside her. "Come, sit with me."

I wasn't sure what was playing on the screen but I was too elated to care. I plopped myself beside her, setting down everything I was holding onto the coffee table. I poured the wine into the glasses and offered her one. I gave her a spoon and cracked open the tub of ice cream.

She took a sip from her glass. "Wine is much better when it's not thrown at you," Zoey laughed weakly.

There was a long pause before I finally spoke. "Do you... want to talk about it? It's fine if you don't want to, but I'm here if you do."

She's silent for a few minutes, thinking about it before letting out a sigh.

"I should have known something like this would happen. I should have known better. I shouldn't have pushed for us to go," she said quietly, looking everywhere but at me.

"What? Zo, no!" I responded, exasperated. "Don't you dare blame yourself for what those idiots did!"

"I'm not, I just..." she exhaled deeply. "Like I've said, I've always had to deal with people like Poppy, I've always had to looked out for myself. I just shouldn't have let my guard down, especially since we were walking into the lion's den."

"Hey, look at me," I brought my finger under her chin and guided her gaze to meet mine. "Don't beat yourself over it. You just wanted to enjoy the party, it's those jerks' fault for ruining your night, okay?"

"I know, I just can't help-" she began but I interrupted.

"Zo, I will beat your ass."

The frown on her face instantly quirked up. "Are you threatening me with a good time, Ms. Hughes?"

I couldn't help but laugh, of course she'd find a way to make this conversation flirty.

"I mean it Zoey."

"That you'll spank me?" she laughed.

I rolled my eyes but I couldn't stop the grin on my lips. "That you shouldn't blame yourself. It's not your fault Poppy and the Zetas are a bunch of assholes."

She didn't look entirely convinced but I gave her a glare and she raised her hands in defeat.

"Fine, I know it wasn't my fault. I do, but sometimes I just wished that it was different. That I wasn't so low in the rankings and-" I stopped her yet again.

"Zoey Wade, do not talk about yourself like that!" I fumed. How dare Poppy and her stupid gang make her feel this way? "You of all people should know that the ranks mean shit, you became my friend when I was right at the bottom! And even if it does count for something, who cares? You're Zoey Wade! I wish you could see yourself the way I do." I whispered the last sentence but she caught it.

"How do you see me?" she asked, genuinely curious. "Actually. For real."

"I don't even know where to begin," I plucked the glass and spoon from her hand and placed it back on the coffee table along with mine. I cautiously took her hand in mine, still afraid she'd retract. She let me hold her hand as my thumb stroked over her knuckles.

"Besides being insanely gorgeous and talented? I think you're an absolute goddess, and I feel so lucky to even be in your presence. The way you carry yourself is so powerful, it's hard to notice anyone else when you're in the room. You're unreal and I'm in utter awe of you, Zo. You're a incredible person and an even better friend."

I could tell she was a little flushed after my string of compliments but that didn't stop her from replying with a witty remark.

"Just a friend?" she teased.

"Well, maybe not just a friend," I grin and brought her hand up to my lips, giving her knuckles a soft, gentle kiss. "I'll be whatever you want me to be to you."

"I think it's safe to say we're well past that stage by now," Zoey joked with a smile.

"I think so too," I responded before being taken by surprise. She grabbed the back of my neck and pull me into her until our lips met.

"Mmm," I whimpered as she snaked her arms around me and flushed her body against mine. The heat radiating off our bodies kept each other warm in the cool night.

"I really can't stay upset with you," Zoey whispered against my lips.

My heart pounded against my chest, hard enough that I'm sure Zoey could feel it too. I was so glad to hear that. "Lucky me," I smiled.

She broke the kiss after a while. I was a little disappointed that it ended but I wasn't gonna push it. Tonight wasn't about me, it was about her.

So instead, I offered to hold her. "Cuddle with me?"

Zoey looked at me for a second, dazzling soft brown eyes boring into mine. "Okay."

I leaned back against the arm of the chair, stretching my legs out and spreading my arms to welcome her.

She laid her head on my chest as I embraced her. Her dark curly hair tickling my nose as she did so. I moved to toss the throw blanket over us and we shifted to get into a comfortable position.

Neither of us were paying attention to the movie even though our eyes were trained on the screen. It's not like I could've focused even if I wanted to. It didn't matter that we've cuddled a million times before, Zoey's close proximity to me still affected me in a way I couldn't even fathom anyone else's would.

Zoey's ear was pressed against my chest and I was positive she could hear my heart hammering like crazy. 'Listen to how hard my heart beats for you,' I thought while looking down at her. I felt her hand creep up my side to finally rest on my chest as well. I could only assume it was to feel it better. "You're the only one that's made me feel like this," I muttered quietly into her hair.

Not long after that, I felt her sob softly. She buried her head in my chest and clutched me tighter. I started rubbing one hand along her back, the other lightly massaging her scalp.

"It's okay, Zo," I reassured her. "It'll be alright, I'll take Poppy out for you if I have to, she won't know what hit her."

I heard her let out a small laugh in between sniffles which surprised me. "It's not that," she said into my sweatshirt then tilted her head up to look at me, a small grin playing on her lips and her eyes a little watery. "Well, it is, but I was just thinking about how glad I am to have you here with me. I don't know what I'd do without you."

The thrill I felt at her words were unmatched. I leaned down to kiss her on top of her head and she wiped away her tears. "I'm always going to be here for you, I'm not going anywhere. And I should be the one that's glad you're even still here with me."

The hand that was stroking her back landed on her right shoulder, lightly squeezing it. "You still feel tense," I told her. "Do you want me to help you with that?"

"Mhm, I'd like that," she replied.

I gently helped her up to shift positions again. I motioned for her to lay on her stomach as I straddled her thighs. I lifted up her hoodie to her shoulders when she spoke, "Y'know, if you wanted me out of my clothes you could have just said so," she teased yet again.

"Where's the fun in that? Where's the charm? If I'm getting you out of your clothes I'm going to be suave about it," I joked back. "I'll smooth talk my way into doing it. Cuz I definitely am. I'm so smooth."

"Oh. My. God. You're such a dork, that's what you are," she giggled, clearly embarrassed for me. "Why do I even like you?"

"Cuz I give you free back massages?"

"Mm, yeah, that could be it."

I started kneading into her back, applying pressure from the heel of my palms to the tense areas and working the knots out of her muscles. I felt her hum in approval.

"Oh, yeah, right there, babe," she encouraged. "You're really good at this, you should do this for me more often."

"My room's just down the hallway from yours, you know where to find me."

"Wine, ice cream and massages? Looks like I have competition as best roommate," she said and I chuckled.

"You scratch my back, I scratch yours."

"Literally."

After a while, I felt all the knots go away and her tensed muscles became relaxed. I turned to look at Zoey only to see her eyes closed. She looked like she was falling asleep. I ran my hands up and down her smooth back then saw goosebumps appear when I trailed the tip of my fingers along her spine.

"Hey, babe? Are you awake," I asked her softly.

"Mhm," she replied groggily. "Did you call me 'babe'? That's what I call you." Her voice was so cute when she was sleepy, it made my heart flutter.

"Yeah I did."

"I like it." I saw the corners of her lip turn up ever so slightly.

God, this girl was adorable. "C'mon, sleepyhead. Let's get you to bed."

I pulled down her hoodie and got off of her. She turned over to lie on her back and was about to sit up when I bent over to picked her up, bridal style. This seemed to alert her.

"You're gonna carry me?" Her arms clung  around my neck as I lifted her off the couch, almost wide awake again.

"I thought that was obvious," I grinned at her.

"You're pretty strong," she commented as I walked us to her room, being careful to make sure I had a good grip on her and that I didn't bang into anything on the way. She buried her face into the crook of my neck.

"I did grow up on a farm, after all."

"Is it weird if I said that that's kinda hot?" Her tone was playful.

"That I grew up on a farm?" I joked and was rewarded with a blissful, bright laugh.

"Is this pay back for when I said 'spank me' earlier?"

"Maybe," I glanced at her, pretending to look mischievous.

Using my foot to nudge the door open, I entered her room and set her down carefully onto her bed. I pulled the comforters over her and tucked her in, making sure she was comfortable.

Zoey grabbed onto my arm and gently yanked me down to give me a kiss on the lips. "Thank you, darling."

I kissed her on the forehead and smooth her hair back. "Anything for you, sweetheart. Goodnight, Zo."

I straightened my back and turned to head out her door but Zoey's grip remained on my wrist, refusing to let go. I looked at her hand, then at her.

"Spend the night with me?" Her eyes pleading as she gave me a little pout.

I let out a small breath. "Looks like I can't say no to you either."

I made my way to the other side of her bed and got under the covers, turning on my side to hug Zoey from the back. I pulled her into me and secured my arms around her. "Is this okay?"

"It's perfect. I feel... safe," she said and let out a contented sigh. She intertwined her legs with mine and held onto my hands.

"So... does this mean you forgive me?" I asked innocently.

She lets out a beautiful laugh. "Yes, babe. It does."

As I laid with her, I couldn't help but think once again how lucky I am that I still had her here with me. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I lost her.

"Promise we'll always stick together? No matter what?" she asked softly into the darkness, bringing my hand up to her lips to kiss my fingers.

I placed a light kiss on her shoulder in return and replied. "Forever and always."

We drifted off to sleep peacefully in each other's embrace, forgetting about the events of that day, knowing we're in this together.

After all, it was us against them. And I couldn't have asked for a better partner in crime.

(More fics!)

[fatesdeepdive]

Entry 50: Oops! All Supports Volume #8

The portal babies are going to be weird. Most of their Supports are going to come from the OAS entries. Add it onto the pile of close to thirty Birthright Supports I didn’t get to. Also, because this is Entry 50 and I hate myself, I’m doing twenty different Supports today instead of ten. God help me. I’m already a few days behind and this won’t help.

Support: Mana/Sophie

C: Kana manages to befriend Sophie's horse Avel, despite Avel normally being horrible.

B: Kana and Sophie see a burning building and Avel happily allows Sophie to ride him so she can save people.

A: Kana and Sophie discuss how Avel is loyal to Sophie, despite his assholeness, and will follow only her into battle.

S: Kana gets friendzoned.

Review: Not bad. Avel being a good horse when the chips are down is great. Also, this is the second time Kana’s been friendzoned. Poor kid.

Support: Corrin/Hinata 

C: Corrin finds Hinata training. Corrin is surprised, because they heard Hinata was lazy.

B: Hinata beats Corrin in a duel, so Corrin runs laps to get stronger.

A: Hinata reveals that he trains so hard because he lost a fight to Takumi once and wants to beat him.

S: Hinata does the promise to protect blah blah blah I like you blah blah thing.

Review: Not necessarily awful, but very generic and lacking any spark to make it stand out.

Support: Mitama/Shiro

C: Shiro finds Mitama sleeping outside. He wakes her and she heads to her room so she can take another nap.

B: Shiro explains that falling asleep on a battlefield is dangerous, Mitama explains that she's ensuring she's fully rested for battle.

A: Shiro takes a nap outside. Mitama agrees to stop sleeping outside as much.

S: Shiro asks Mitama to be his girlfriend.

Review: Very shallow. Mitama is somewhat amusing, but other than that this is completely forgettable.

Support: Dwyer/Selkie

C: Dwyer is woken up by Selkie chasing a bird.

B: Selkie gurts herself climbing a tree. Dwyer, not wanting to ignore a not-ugly lady in distress, tends her wounds.

A: Dwyer tries to convince Selkie to stop hurting herself. Selkie drags him off to go frolic.

S: Dwyer decides to tend to Selkie's wounds for the rest of his life. Selkie decides they should get married and claims she planned this from the beginning.

Review: A fun, cute fluff Support.

Support: Azura/Saizo

C: Saizo tells Azura that she doesn't trust her because she's from Nohr.

B: Saizo injures himself protecting Azura. Azura tends to his wounds. Saizo notices a scar on Azura and Azura explains that some noble children beat the shit out of her when she was a kid. Again, who the fuck thought it was a good idea to bully the violent sadistic king's stepdaughter?

A: Saizo apologizes for forcing Azura to relive painful memories. Azura says he only has to say thank you and that she wants him to be her ally.

S: Saizo offers Azura a magic salve that can heal any scar. He doesn't use it because his scar is important and also HE'S A MANY MAN AND NOT A DELICATE LADY. Azura says she loves him despite the sexism.

Review: A very good Support that gives good characterization to both Azura and Saizo.

Support: Felicia/Takumi

C: Felicia runs into Takumi while carrying the laundry. Literally. Takumi grumpily helps her clean it up.

B: Takumi tries to yell at Felicia to be careful, she ignores him and talks about her hometown. Takumi insinuates there's a problem with how Felicia was raised and apologizes when she calls him out.

A: Takumi keeps an eye on Felicia to keep her from messing everything up. Felicia cries. Takumi praises her for being a hard worker.

S: Takumi asks Felicia to tell him about her village, because he likes her and she cares about it.

Review: Not bad, but could have had a bit more lore about Felicia’s village or had Takumi play a more active role.

Support: Kaden/Mozu

C: Kaden has a fatty piece of meat, which he doesn't want to eat because it's unhealthy. Mozu offers to cook the fat off. Kaden offers to split it.

B: Mozu makes a really good soup. She compares Kaden to a little kid for being impatient.

A: Kaden guts a fish, which makes Mozu think he's wise and mature. Sure, why not. Mozu says he's like a brother to her, because this game didn't have enough pseudo-sibling fucking.

S: Mozu says Kaden is everything she wants in a man.

Review: Overall, a fairly mediocre Support lacking a consistent throughline.

Support: Kagero/Setsuna

C: Setsuna is tasked with delivering important messages during a battle and forgets them, so Kagero is ordered to help Setsuna become a better messenger.

B: Kagero gives Setsuna sentences to repeat back to her. Setsuna forgets them immediately because she has the memory of a goldfish.

A: Kagero comes up with a better solution: babysitting Setsuna to make sure she doesn't fuck up.

Review: An overall decent Support. Although it raises one big question: who the hell thought it was a good idea to make Setsuna a messenger? They’re the real idiot in this army.

Support: Azama/Subaki

C: People have begun saying Azama and Subaki are training together. This angers Azama, who hates Subaki for pretending to be perfect. Subaki doesn't mind.

B: Azama goes on a hike and finds Subaki training alone so other people won't see him get tired.

A: Azama explains that the difference between them is that Subaki cares what other people think about him and Azama just doesn't give a shit.

Review: Overall a bit bland. Also how did the training rumors start? Part of me feels like this is an “oh my god they were roommates” scenario.

Support: Hinoka/Jakob

C: Jakob finds Hinoka training and praises her courage and fighting skill. Hinoka says she used to be trained in formal princess behavior, but through all that away to spend more time training. B: Jakob offers to train Hinoka in etiquette again. Hinoka ends up remembering everything anyway. A: Jakob explains that war is more than battle and courtly training is just as important. S: Jakob says he loves Hinoka. Hinoka points out how sudden this is, and Jakob offers to leave and come back later. They get together.

Review: Wow that romance came out of nowhere. They even point it out! Aside from that, this Support is very lackluster. It avoids all conflict by having Hinoka not have anything to learn and leaves Jakob without any development.

Support: Hisame/Kiragi

C: Hisame acts subservient and loyal to Kiragi. Kiragi asks him to treat him like a friend, similar to how Takumi and Hinata act. Hisame rejects this, saying Hinata should treat his betters with respect. Also they mention that Takumi and Hinata bathe together, which is interesting.

B: Kiragi says that they don't have to be master/servant just because their fathers are. Hisame suggests that they play shogi to become friends.

A: The two of them have fun playing shogi. Hisame acknowledges they're friends now.

Review: This one is interesting, analyzing that Hinata doesn’t really act like the retainer of a prince. Kiragi just wanting to be friends with Hisame is nice, and Hisame acting like an actual medieval person is interesting. I do wish this Support, and the game as a whole, had more analysis of class divides, though.

Support: Setsuna/Silas

C: Silas is attacked by an enemy archer. By an enemy archer, I mean Setsuna, who fell into a pit and fired arrows out to get his attention.

B: Setsuna does it again, almost injuring her fellow soldiers. Setsuna blushes while talking to Silas for...some reason.

A: Setsuna falls in a pit and accidentally kills a bunch of enemies while firing arrows.

S: Silas proposes. Halfway through the proposal, Setsuna falls into a pit. Silas rescues her and she immediately does it again.

Review: This is a fun Support. Setsuna being more willing to shoot Silas than ask for help is relatable. Setsuna taking out enemies by accident and wandering off in the middle of a confession is hilarious. Also, between this and the Kagero Support, I’m starting to think Setsuna is a liability.

Support: Midori/Shigure

C: Midori shows Shigure her herb garden. In the middle of it is a pretty flower bub that Midori likes.

B: Shigure helps Midori garden.

A: The flower blooms; Midori says it's a rare flower that is a symbol of happiness.

S: Shigure tells Midori to stay out of battle because he can't bear to see her hurt. When Midori refuses, Shigure instead vows to protect her throughout the war and after.

Review: This one had a surprisingly good S-Rank. I like the idea of Shigure being paranoid about his loved ones getting hurt because he’s already lost his entire village. Unfortunately, other than that, this Support is fairly bland.

Support: Asugi/Dwyer

C: Dwyer somehow manages to beat Asugi in a fight. Asugi challenges him to a rematch and Dwyer leaves to take a nap.

B: Asugi spies on Dwyer all day to find out how he trains. Dwyer does nothing but nap. Dwyer reveals that Jakob beat fighting skills into him as a kid so he doesn't have to train anymore.

A: Asugi challenges Dwyer to a baking contest. Dwyer forfeits before it even begins.

Review: Not bad. Dwyer completely shutting Asugi down out of laziness is fun.

Support: Hinata/Rinkah

C: Rinkah watches Hinata fight. She tells him it's a miracle he isn't dead, considering how sloppy he fights.

B: The two of them spar. Hinata is surprisingly powerful, but Rinkah matches him hit for hit. Rinkah decides to mix Hinata's moves into her one fighting style. A: Hinata and Rinkah fight again, drawing.

S: Hinata asks Runkah to take him to the Flame Tribe...as her husband.

Review: Fairly mediocre. I’ve seen a dozen sparring Supports already and this one lacks anything new.

Support: Jakob/Takumi

C: Takumi asks Jakob to help him train in secret. Jakob says no.

B: Corrin orders Jakob to help Takumi. Takumi snipes arrows off Jakob's head like William Tell.

A: Jakob tells Takumi that his need for others to recognize his skill is immaturity.

Review: Goddamn, Takumi. There are better ways to train than accidentally killing your sister’s retainer! Other than that this is mediocre; Jakob calling out Takumi’s immaturity is nice, but it isn’t built up properly.

Support: Caeldori/Hisame

C: Caeldori and Hisame are tasked with cleaning a shed together because they're the only competent soldiers. Caeldori brings up her respect for her father and Hisame changes the conversation.

B: Hisame explains that he doesn't respect Hinata because Hinata is a moron. Caeldori is disgusted by the idea of not respecting her father.

A: Caeldori apologizes for being forceful. Hisame says that he actually hates Hinata because he's jealous of Hinata's laid-back attitude.

S: Caeldori and Hisame get together because they're smarter than everyone else.

Review: Contrasting their differing views towards their fathers is nice, but the idea that Hisame is jealous of Hinata is ridiculous.

Support: Kiragi/Selkie

C: Kiragi and Selkie race through the woods and notice a group of suspicious men hanging around.

B: Kiragi saves Selkie from the men, who are poachers.

A: Selkie criticizes herself for being too trusting. Kiragi it wasn't her fault and that her kindness is one of her best traits.

S: Kiragi apologizes for allowing Selkie to be captured in the first place and asks Selkie to date him so he can protect her.

Review: Look, follow up to Selkie’s Paralogue! Kiragi being heroic is nice, but Selkie is a bit of a damsel in distress in this one.

Support: Fana/Midori

C: Kana has a sore throat. Midori's medicine doesn't work.

B: Midori tries new medicine. It still doesn't work.

A: Midori realizes Kana needs dragon medicine.

Review: That was a bunch of nothing. I think this is the shortest Support line I’ve read, and damn is it forgettable.

Support: Corrin/Hana

C: Hana is mean to Corrin because Corrin made Sakura sad by being kidnapped. Sakura isn't very smart.

B: Corrin asks about Hana's family, who are also Samurai, and says they apreciate Hana's ambition because they didn't have any when isolated. Hana mentions that her inspiration is her father, a samurai who prerished honorably protecting Sumeragi. Corrin says that dying in and of itself shouldn't be respected. Hana gets mad and storms off.

A: Corrin explains that Hana shouldn't throw her life away because it would make Sakura sad.

S: Corrin says he actually wants Hana to keep living because he has feelings for her. Protect eachother yada yada yada.

Review: I’m torn on this one. It gives backstory for Hana and at least tries to say something meaningful about dying in battle, but the C-Rank has Hana act ridiculous.