#I hate situations that feel so out of my control š¤
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google how do I turn off my mind
#so fukckimg tired of this shitshow#I don't even have the energy to be angry anymore#I'm just tired#I want it to be over already#please can I have some good luck. any time now would be great. and a hug would be nice too lol#still another two weeks of homelessness left wooooo#just wanna sleep for the next week and not have to worry about anything#I'm so tired of worrying#and even as I'm typing this out I feel so selfish for complaining#there are worse problems in the world rn and I know I'm lucky#but christ I miss when my biggest worry was mental health. not that it was particularly fun but at least I somewhat know how to deal with i#I hate situations that feel so out of my control š¤ #will probably delete this later#vent post#cosmo rambles
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I am CACKLING like a cartoon villain oh my GOD you are a genius!!! Of course the toxic king breaks his back of COURSE he does the fucking idiot (affectionate), so there's fuck-all he can do with reader's big announcement that this was all worth it and he can totally get some...yknow, in a couple months. AHHHHH. And she just wanted to give him something to look forward to, motivation for the physical therapy <33 (she boops his nose while he lays there wishing for death and cowering from her, of course she does, omg. i love them your honor!!)
and maybe she gets more confident now that he can't fucking move ššĀ (lmao, oh god.Ā Kƶnig if you weren't such a menace this would have been easier for her a lot earlier and nobody would be in this situation) and maybe this leads to way more sensualĀ touching from her on her own initiative; she's curious, after all, and she does like him a lot and she's just trying to help him get better, you know? and Kƶnig eats that shit up, starts telling her all about these itches and sore muscles he can't reach, could she be a dear (trying to act like he's not literally begging for her touch) and then he basically blacks out the first time her hands linger and drift, but probably better that than the things he was going to say to her. So Kƶnig wants to die, this is too much, he's done, he's a goner each time she visits him. and damn her, she's a devoted little thing, never misses visiting hours. Always so sweet and caring towards him and it's the perfect image of a faithful, doting housewife without the wife or the house or the sex part of it lmao. And of course he canāt move when all this is happening!!!Ā so basically just more torture and his mind just kind of breaks into little tiny pieces held together by demented lovesick lust-filled fantasies. he says some absolutely filthy things (makes the cunt licking look family friendly in comparison), he can't control it really anymore, and poor reader is shocked/horrified and blushing furiously, but thinks it's the medications and the pain and whatnot, tries to be understanding, only chides him once she gets her shock under control (and he's actually stone cold sober the entire fucking time lmao, but he ain't telling her that, she'd run if she knew).Ā
AND THEN MAYBE~~ (dun dun dun) one day reader is FINALLY reaching under the stupid hospital bed blanket - he can feel her soft little fingertips and carefully manicured nails travel down his abs, trace the V of his hips (my man is going to black out again, good lord) and she's looking at him with big round eyes and she's nervous she's going to do it wrong and he won't like it (as if), and it's taking FOREVER for her to get her hand between his legs bc sweet little thing just wants to do it right, and he's out of his mind, half-crying, whisper-begging at this point (it's probably not even English, not German either, just mindless pleas). Her hand FINALLY wraps around his length and he's lucky he doesn't cum right then and there; she's blushing so violently at taking a man in her hands for the first time and she's seeking HIS approval with those pretty doe eyes as she bites her lip. So of course that's when there's a knock at the door (the universe hates him, he's going to scream, whoever this is is lucky he can't move and they might die anyway from the blast radius of sheer rage) and a doctor comes in for daily rounds. Reader barely has time to yank her hand back before doc sticks his head through the privacy curtains and yep our man's heart might actually just stop, he is just going to keel over right then and there.Ā
so not even a handjob for our poor king <3 if he doesnāt die (lol)Ā he transfers to in-home care IMMEDIATELYĀ and finally gets reader to himself in a more private setting where he can lock the fucking door.Ā this is the part where I look away lmao, I'd leave him blue-balled & suffering forever ...am i a mean person?? also RIP to that doctor. this verse is soĀ hilarious & wonderful and i love it, feels like a tug of war between tropes and genres if that makes sense which results in your delightful genius works, thank you thank you <333
This is so beautiful. I am puddle & I can't thank you enough for collaborating & I LOVE YOU Howdy anon š and um, I think I got a little too excited about their first time lol oops (I can't leave him blue-balled forever! Poor man would die of heart failure š„ŗ)
(Tamara and Demon (1864), MihƔly von Zichy)
Word count: 3.7Ā k
CW: 18+ NSFW. Corruption kink goes brrrr. Masturbating, dirty talking, obsessive/yandere Kƶnig. Awkward handjob. First time/virgin!reader.Ā Kinda sweet and fluffy š©· Also coersion/mildly dubious consent, tread carefully!
A/N: You can find the story of Kƶnig x virgin!reader and their relationship so far by following the tag (kƶnig x virgin reader)
Oh she visits him alright!
Sheās much braver now that Kƶnig is bedridden and canāt move. They actually spend more time together after the weightlifting accident. The intense stares havenāt gone anywhere, he's actually gotten worse in that department, but otherwise, Kƶnig is behaving quite nicely.
He seems to like it when she reads to him next to his bed, which is immensely cute in her opinion. Armed with a new book in the crook of her arm, sheās on her way to visit him again for another session.
She's already accustomed to simply floating in after giving his door a light rap. She's also gotten used to the sight of guns and knives and the smell of army storage, even the manly, pungent stench of sweat that lingers on top of it.Ā
But itās not the potpourri of masculine military scents that stop her at the door and nearly make her drop her book.
The King himself is lying naked on the bed ā well, naked except for the bag of a mask he seems to hold on to like itās his soul. This time, she doesnāt even see it: her eyes fly straight to the towering erection heās stroking, urgently with one hand while the other cups a pair of shaved, pale balls.
"Kƶnigā¦?"Ā
The man who calls himself King curses ā in German or in English, she canāt tell. The sight of him there, caught red-handed on touching himself, only makes her feel sorry for him. Kƶnig has nowhere to run and hide, nothing to cover himself with, he's not supposed to even move yet. And he is not the one who should be embarrassed, after all, she's the one who barged in on his privacy.Ā
Althoughā¦ Kƶnig doesn't look embarrassed.Ā
He only looks drunk and sweaty and in need.
She thinks about turning back and leaving him with hurried excuses because what the hell is she supposed to doā¦? Read him a book? He is still gripping his cock like itļæ½ļæ½s a sword or something, breathing like he just ran a marathon.Ā
And speaking of swords, that weapon is far too big for her... Hell, she doesnāt know much about swords but she would deem that sword far too big for any woman.
If she were clever, she would run away from that stare and that huge, monstrous cock. But sheās not that clever, that much is clear because everyone sheās told sheās dating Kƶnig have warned her about him. Every cell in her body is warning her of danger, but she keeps running back to him, over and over againā¦
Well, at least he canāt move, she thinks, takes a hesitant step, and places the book down on a table. Just when sheās about to whisper some calming, soothing words to this beast, the beast speaks.
"Take your clothes off," comes a husky command from the bed, and she freezes with her fingertips still on the cover of her cute little book about German fairytales (she knows Kƶnig likes his fairytales bloody).Ā
Normally, she would make a scene out of such audacity. She might even storm out of the room and vow to never speak to him again for daring to talk to her like that.
Butā¦Ā
He looks so desperate. Kƶnig looks like a giant bound for torture on that bed. And he's not the only one who has been tormented these past few weeksā¦ The incident at the hospital has plagued her dreams every night as she has tucked herself in with the memories of Kƶnig'sā¦ sword.
Perhaps it would help with his pain if she offers him relief in his time of need. No harm can come from that, surely. She doesn't know how exactly taking her clothes off will help, but if that is his wish, then itās the least she can do.Ā
To her and his surprise, her hands drift to the hem of the top sheās wearing. Sheās feeling rather wild ā something about seeing Kƶnig completely naked yet unable to move is making her act like this. Like she's the brave one. Like sheās in control now.
Dedicated to her task, she pulls the shirt over her head.
Nothing moves on that bed for a good long while. As far as she can tell, Kƶnig might've stopped breathing. But by the time she takes her bra off, thereās a swallow under that hood. Then the hand slowly starts to stroke again, the moist, slick sounds continue as her breasts fall free from their confinement.Ā
Sheās breathing heavily too, and the man on the bed is stiff as a stone: every single muscle in his body is pulled taut as he stares at her breasts like theyāre the Revelation of John. Then those blue eyes lift to her face just before another command is issued.
"Take off the rest."
"Theāthe restā¦?"
"I just want to watch you."Ā
His voice is hoarse and croaky, and she feels even more sorry for him ā Kƶnig must be in so much pain and she just keeps on teasing him. She started this, so perhaps itās better just to see it through.Ā
Whatās crazy though is that he actually moans when she gets out of her pants, socks, and finally, her underwear. The slick sounds of fapping increase, and heās moaning.
She hasnāt even touched him yetā¦ Sheās just standing there before him completely naked, heat pooling low in her belly as Kƶnig continues to work himself with what looks like both pleasure and pain.
"Kommā¦ Come here," he orders next, out of breath but surprisingly politely, and she has no other option than to approach his bed. She sits down as chastely as possible, then almost jumps back up when a steel-hard thigh brushes against hers.
"Touch it. Ja?"Ā
Her eyes grow as wide as they can go as she takes in the cock she has touched once before, briefly and under a hospital sheet. Now itās right there, foreign and demanding.Ā
Better just to see it through, her mind tweets as her hand reaches out through what feels like water. Like before, there's a sharp intake of air under the hood as she takes him in her hand. Itās even hotter than she remembered, and gives a tight pull the instant her fingers wrap around it.Ā
"Like thisā¦?"Ā
"Just like thatā¦"
Her meek little mouse peeps and multiple bats of eyelashes are like drug to him, it seems. The man is as tight as a bowstring when she starts to move her hand up and down, mimicking the motions she just saw him do. They're not as fast as his, and her grip must be way gentler, but she seems to do surprisingly well for an inexperienced virgin. The poor man looks like heās about to faint on that bed.Ā
What she doesnāt expect, however, is Kƶnig to touch her.
A large, warm palm sweeps across her ribs and lands on her breast, softly, as if he's concerned that he might scare her off. She's the one who's stopped breathing nowā¦ And then he rubs her, squeezes her. Gentlyā¦ Reverently.
"You're soft," comes a strained sigh from the bed as she tries to keep her own grip both tight and gentle. Sheās starting to get so wet she fears she will stain his sheets. Bewildered, she tries to change her position, but the palm cupping her breast seems to have bound her to the bed too. Nothing moves, except her hand and his as they explore each other. A giant and an angel...
Something hot and wet meets her hand as she strokes him ā is he cumming alreadyā¦? But it can't be, she has heard thereās supposed to be quite a bit of it when a man cums, and thereās only a few ample drops of clear liquid oozing out of the slit on his tip.
"Can't wait for the day I get to make you scream," he rasps, and her heart is hammering in her chest as more cum-like liquid streams from the slit of his cock, adding to the lewd, moist sounds of the handjob sheās giving him.
Kƶnig doesnāt know she has never even kissed a guyā¦Ā
"We'llā¦ we'll get there," she tries to soothe him, thanking her lucky stars this man can't move.
"I want to fuck you," he continues, sounding more and more desperate. "Good and hardā¦ until you cry under me. Want to see if you can take it all in."
"Kƶnigā¦"
"Itās a long cock, ja? I can make you squirt."
"Kƶnig, I'm still a virginā¦ You can'tā"
"NhāSorryā¦ sorry."
His head falls back on the pillow, his muscles relax just for the tiniest moment. But if she thought he would finally leave her to it, she was wrong. The hand of a giant killer drops between her legs next.Ā
Sheās sitting on the bed like she would sit on a side saddle, with one leg slightly bent, giving the horniest man on earth good enough access to the heat between her legs. She doesnāt stop him ā she doesnāt even want to ā as broad fingertips meet her pubic hair and slip between her already slick folds.Ā
"...Was? Pretty angel is all wet," he comments on her state of mess. Approvingly: like all his fears have suddenly disappeared.Ā
She has to fight the urge to roll her head back and moan as those agile fingers start to give her full, generous strokes. She almost messes up her rhythm while stroking his cock, which seems to have gotten even harder.
His fingers delve into her with more courage, they tease her tight, tender nub with excited circles. She tries not to jolt and shiver as he makes her even more slick, tries to ignore how her nipples grow hard from that burning stare alone.Ā
"Such a pretty girlā¦ and so wet. You sure you don't want it?"
She thinks about it ā how it would feel if he somehow was able to take her on that bed. If he pushed that cock inside her and if it would hurt or make her moan even more. Even the thought of trying to fit that inside her makes her thighs feel like pudding.
"I donāt knowā¦ You're still recovering."
"Hehā¦ That's not a problem. You can be on top. I'll help," he offers as if itās a gentlemanly thing to do, to help her bounce on that huge cock.Ā
"IāI'd rather do it the classic way."
"I'll show you classic when I get better," he promises with unconcealed greed. "I'll show you all the other ways too. Weāll do it any way you like."
She tries hard not to whimper when hearing his promise. She tries her best to pleasure the biggest cock sheās ever seen. Itās ridiculous that itās the only cock sheās ever seen... What sort of a cruel joke was it from the universe to choose this king-sized Austrian to be her first man?Ā
She wonders how Kƶnig would react if she told him heās too big for her.
Would he try to change her mind? Would he have a meltdown?Ā
Would he cryā¦?Ā
She doubts if this man ever cries. The last time a brutal soldier like him shed tears was probably when he was a kid. But he did look like he was about to cry that one time when she booped his nose...Ā
And despite being a cold-blooded soldier and somewhat awkward at times, Kƶnig has always been so, so delicate with her. He's tender even now, touching her with the gentlest avarice there is. But that searing stare wants to possess her, devour her, and it makes her bite her lip nearly to the point of drawing blood.
"Sit on my face?" he offers next, this time sounding so desperate it's almost pathetic.Ā
Sit on his faceā¦Ā
What would he even do? Lick her? Try to push his tongue inside her while finishing himself?
The thought alone makes her mess up her rhythm again and causes her pussy to pulse more wetness on his fingers. She secretly hopes he would slip at least one of those fingers inside.
"Let me see your cunt," he begs. God ā this giant mercenary is begging to see her poor, aching pussy. "Justā¦ let me at least taste youā"
She canāt even reply before the hand between her legs gives a sudden twitch and stops those delicious rubs. Actually, his whole body is going rigid.Ā
"Kƶnigā¦? Am I hurting you?"
"I'māgonna cumā¦"Ā
Oh god.
Oh god ohgod-
She's not sure what gives her more of a fright: the sound that leaves her soldier boyfriend as he cums, or the bright, hot flash of liquid that shoots from the cock in her hand.
He groans like itās torture. Long and hard, so loud that sheās sure other people can hear it in the neighboring rooms, perhaps even further than that. Thereās one, two, three spurts of thick, hot liquid, after that, she loses count because it spills to coat his stomach, it runs down her hand, and sheās pumping him in a frenzy while he just keeps on moaning.
"Slow, slow downā" he tries to groan in the middle of his climax and she obeys immediately, reveling in how his cock still throbs in her hand when she finally stops moving altogether. More cum gushes out with every strong pulse, even if the eruptions are less violent. Ropes of it already cover his abs, it coats her hand with thick film ā it's far more than she would ever have expected, and a shiver goes through her as she imagines what it must feel like to take all of that semen inside herā¦Ā
"Ahā¦ Das war wirklichā¦" Kƶnig sighs dreamily while she must be looking like a startled deer.
Yes, that was really somethingā¦ She doesnāt know what to do with his cock, or her hand, or the mess that coats half his body.
Luckily, he instructs her to take his old shirt from the floor and clean herself with it. She cleans him with it too, dabs the black t-shirt over his muscled stomach, even tries to swipe his crotch with it as gently as she can.Ā
Kƶnig looks happier by the minute, looks at her like sheās an angel or something, and when she fully commits herself to getting him cleaned up, he gets another erection. Sheās quite horrified ā how is this even possibleā¦? She thought men would need at least hours to get it back up again.
"Come on top," he offers, sounding all but seductive with that commanding tone.Ā
She swallows, thinking if Kƶnig wants to be a "gentleman" and finish her too. With his tongue... or something else.
"Just for a hug? We don't have to put it in."
She seems to be under some spell tonight, because she simply drops the poor, cum-stained shirt back on the floor and crawls to the bed and on top of him.
Kƶnig is hot and lean as she presses herself against him, her thighs now straddling the intimidating thing between his legs. Her head falls right beside his mask-covered face, and the smell of guns and fuel and sweat is prominent there, as is his natural odor, the woodland musk she has grown so fond of.
"There we go," his arms go around her waist, pressing her tighter against him. Thereās no escape now, she thinks, but like always with Kƶnig, she eventually softens and relaxes, molds against himā¦ Accepts her fate.
"You did well, Meine Liebe," he even caresses her head as she slowly melts into his hold. "Iām sorry if I frightened you. Will you forgive me?"
"Um, of course."
"A gentleman should always apologize if he has upset his lady. Do you agree?"
"Uhā¦ Yes."
"I promise to be a good man. The best man you could ever hope for."
She bites her lip as Kƶnig continues to caress her. Sheās far from upset, but she doesnāt want to tell him that and excite him too much. Otherwise he might end up hurting himself. He hugs her tight, and seems to have calmed down more than ever.
Is this what an orgasm does to a man...? The change is drastic, and her lover feels warm, and tender, and inviting. He even whispers more promises on her skin. They're nonsensical but gentle, Kƶnig is probably trying to be romantic, but she can feel how his breaths grow heavier as time goes on. After all, they're both naked, pressed tightly together, closer than ever before, and he's having an erection again...
She tries not to shiver at the things he tells her. The husky promises of love and protection: "You are mine now, ja? Donāt be afraid. I would never hurt you. I will always keep you safe." And then, "Youāre still wet, mein MƤdchenā¦ How about we practice just a little bit? We'll do it slow. Ja? I will make you moanā¦"
He coos those things in her ear while holding her in place for his cock. She starts to move on her own accord; itās like her hips have their own will. Soon, her entrance meets the tip of him, still hot and bulged, and she starts to grind against it with barely restrained greed. She is wet ā wetter than ever.Ā
Kƶnig curses multiple times under his breath, and she feels so, so filthy for loving how unhinged he is, how unhinged she is ā spread wide on top of him like that, trying to get off of the faintest touch of his cock. Sheās so soaked that the hot tip of him glides across her folds with no effort at all.Ā
She feels like sheās doing something forbidden, taking her pleasure from him like that, but Kƶnig doesnāt seem to know what the word filthy even means. He keeps praising her, guiding her, helping her, telling her how good she feels, that sheās doing so, so well.
Soon, heās asking to put it in ā just the tip.Ā
She tries her best not to sound too needy as she breathes a soft, mousy "Yes."
"How does that feel?"
Heās panting, few inches of thick cock inside her, and she thinks, did she just lose her virginity? Is this it? Why isnāt it hurting?
āYou like that, hmm?ā
He feels so, so good, pressing her against him, spreading her legs with his own, trying to feed more of that marvelous thickness inside. It doesnāt hurt, at least not yet. It makes her dizzy to even think what she must be looking like, with her legs spread and a huge cock partly inside her.
She should say somethingā¦ What was it that he asked? Oh yes, if she likes it. She more than just likes it, and tries to push herself down to get more of him in. Kƶnig reacts immediately with a ton of praise leveled at her in the softest possible way.
āThat's it, that's it, pretty girl, take it inā¦ā
Him cheering her on like that only makes her decide that itās time to let go and let go for good. But she canāt get him in by herself, not while heās holding her a prisoner like this.
"Moreā¦ Kƶnig, please," she hears herself whimper.Ā
God, is this all it took...? Him holding her close and letting her find the joys of sex herself? Apparently so, because he sounds goddamn smug when he turns his head to rasp more needy, throaty things in her ear.
"Ahā¦ Knew you'd beg for itā¦ "
His voice makes her inner walls clamp down on him, and thatās when it hurts, but only slightly. She wants him so much that itās painful. And Kƶnigā¦ God, he keeps on showering her with praises and promises.
"I'll show you how good it can beā¦ That's it, let me hear you. It's a good cock, ja? Good cock for a pretty girlā¦"
Itās not even fully in before he starts the thrusts. Thatās when she knows she has lost her virginity. Sheās being plunged. Not takenā¦ Justā¦ loved, thoroughly and deeply.Ā
When she moans, finally sounds as filthy as can be, he tells her how tight she is. How good she feels. He says heās going to cum again soon. But not before herā¦
He doesnāt need to instruct her to rub her clit on his pelvis in rhythm with the thrusts. She is smart enough to do that by herself. And the thoughts of This is it, Iām not a virgin anymore have turned into Is it possible to cum on your first timeā¦?
Everythingās perfect, all things considered. But thereās something missing.
"Kƶnig," she swallows arduously. "Iāve never been kissed... Would youā Could youā¦?"
He stops moving, releases his hold a little. A strong heart is hammering inside his chest, she can feel it against her own fluttering heartbeat.Ā
Is it stupid of her to askā¦? Will he only laugh at her for being so sentimental?
Apparently no, because itās the warmest possible command that surrounds her this time.
"Lift the mask, angel."
By the time their lips meet, both hesitant and needy, he's fully inside her and holding her like a mountain. She feels like she's in a fairytale now: the only thing that moves is his mouth, and hers. Theirs is a slow, hungry rhythm.Ā
Her first kiss is not only awkwardly romantic and sweet, itās sinfully good.Ā
The kiss also does things she did not expect. Her pussy goes tight around him, so tight that a whimper or two escape her nose, and Kƶnig only purrs ā she feels like the softest little creature in the embrace of a lean jaguar.
And she thinksā¦Ā
Why on earth didn't they do this months ago?
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