#I hate diluc so much istg

[maccaronimassacre]

Currently sobbing because I just lost my 50/50 to Diluc. FOR THE SECOND TIME IN A ROW

[your-local-hoemie]

Can i request childe and diluc with shy reader? Reader hides behind them whenever someone approaches them and gets flustered easily!

Your wish in my command dear anon~

The more I write about Childe the more my conflicted feelings towards him grow. Like I hate that dumb donkey but I love him so much aaAAAAAA.

Warnings: fluff, gn!reader, swearing? I didn’t check through so I can’t remember if there is or not 💀, not proof-read.

Character: Childe, Diluc.

Childe~

God he finds everything about you precious

The second you’re out in public and you hide behind him when someone decides to ask for directions

Oh boy

He’s kicking, screaming, crying, giggling-

Ok I’ll stop

But seriously his little heart can’t handle it!

He knows how anxious you get in public but he’ll still “accidentally” pull you into scenarios where you find yourself tripping over your words and slinking behind him

He just finds it adorable!

And something about you seeking his protection even if it’s from unwanted social interaction boost his never ending ego~

He loves the feeling of being your big strong boyfriend who can protect you no matter what!

But if it genuinely makes you too uncomfortable he’ll stop!

If you suddenly find yourself getting overwhelmed and his silhouette doesn’t provide enough concealment he’ll promptly excuse himself from whatever he was previously doing and take you away to a calmer, quieter place!

Being a big brother and a surprisingly good one at that he’s more than used to dealing with this kind of stuff!

He also finds it a strangely refreshing change compared to his usual charismatic and outgoing personality

He always makes sure to remind you that you have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about!

He genuinely finds you so precious and he adores everything you do so please never be anything but yourself around him!

Diluc~

He’s such a sweetheart!

I can not emphasise how much of a gentleman he is ;-;

The second he notices you going into yourself and hiding behind him he’ll immediately excuse himself and take you somewhere else!

He’s used to talking to people and dealing with social events

He has to be!

But he knows how overwhelming and uncomfortable it can be when put into those situations

He’d be lying if he didn’t find it absolutely adorable though!

He just wants to scoop you up in his arms and surround you so you always feel safe and secure~

The first time you did it to him after establishing your feelings for each other he just kinda stood there for a moment like

??

Where’d Y/N go?

When he felt your hands clinging onto his arm like he was your only life line

Oh boy

His face matched his hair istg

He knows he’s strong

And he knows that he’s more than capable of being seen as a protective figure!

But something about you wanting his protection even if it’s just from uncomfortable social interactions just makes his heart melt faster than when he uses his pyro vision vision in dragonspine!

Always reassures you as well

The occasional “it’s alright. I’m here” can be caught slipping out of his mouth

Not to mention head pats ;-;

He never wants you to feel embarrassed or ashamed by it!

He adores you and he’ll always be there to protect you from anything that makes you feel scared or uncomfortable~

Yoooo I’m on a roll!!! Dies for a whole week

I might post some sketches I’m doing of Scara cuz I found the funniest fucking bit of lore in the game and I can’t stop wheezing over it.

[shitposting-puppet]

A list of Genshin character headcanons and personal ships that Just Make Sense

This will also feature Aether as the traveler, im sorry-

Heizou was a victim and a perpetrator of the VHD. He lost his vision about 8 months in.

As a result he has difficulty with his emotions as well as the emotions of others. He's very inept, a genius but emotionally inept.

Kaveh and Al Haithem don't hate each other, but they definitely are not good friends.

Speaking of, I think Kavehthem is super toxic. Source? My parents were just like them before getting divorced and now they dont talk to each other.

Kaveh's hurt line of: "I've been through worse" yeah... He had a shitty ex.

The ex was a Dottore clone.

The same Dottore clone is how Lisa found out she was lesbian lol.

Diluc and Eula get fake married.

Eula so that she's finally rid of all ties to the Lawrence Clan

Diluc because he's so tired of getting hit on at the tavern...

Dehya and Yoimiya have prosthetics.

Poly5WIRL

(-Wanderer.) That man is so aroace istg

Heizou is also dating Tighnari. No I will NOT elaborate.

Meanwhile Aether is additionally dating Kaeya and Albedo

(who are also dating cause why wouldn't they?)

Heizou and Sara are each other's chosen family.

They eventually legally change their last names so that they're legally siblings too.

Heizou originally wanted to live on Watasumi, but the first time he escaped there he was found and dragged back home.

Speaking of: Heizou was born and raised on Yashiori, specifically in Higi Village.

When Heizou ran away to Watasumi, thats where he met Kokomi and Gorou.

Gorou is trans mtf. Her name is Hina. You cannot change my mind.

Hina and Koko? Married.

Ayato and Itto? Dating. I love they.

Thoma is a fucking wolf hybrid you cant change my mind! He can shape shift!

Also Noelle is his little sister i just

holds them gently

Cynonari is married, Collei is their long-suffering daughter.

Cyno continues to try and ask Kaveh out.

Kaveh continues to be super oblivious.

Kaveh 🤝 Collei = Trauma from Dottore.

Wanderer chose to go to college over hanging out with Traveler and their friends....

Only to end up talking to them anyway. He is Suffering.

Kaeya has Pyrophobia from the Fight.

Al Haithem is a dick. Like he won't bring up trauma or misgender you, but he's still an absolute asshole.

Why is he an ass? Because he knows and deliberately hurts others feelings. He is aware of what he's doing.

Al Haithem is also deaf + autistic. Yes, you can be disabled and still be an asshole.

Kaveh and Al Haithem are Autistic on Autistic Violence

The Nameless Bard's name is Raven, because I am a sucker for Dramatic Irony. Also because I like it.

Childe has chronic pain and early-onset arthritis

Shenhe is actually Chongyun's mom, she gave him away when he was a baby for his safety, and the cover story she and the village gave was that she's just an aunt.

Opposite to how Chongyun's energy is pure Yang, Shenhe's is pure Yin, making her much more likely to attract demons

Heizou and Sango genuinely cannot get along.

Kaveh is actually from Aaru Village. Well, before his dad moved them to the rainforest.

Kaeya actually resent his Khaenri'ahn heritage, as it gave him the impossible burden of spying on a nation.

Btw, Kaeya would choose Mondstadt over Khaenri'ah anyday.

Diluc has a room for Venti at the Winery.

Also, Diluc and Jean are not the only ones who know Venti is Barbatos. He aint that slick.

Albedo, Sucrose, Kaeya and Hu Tao also know.

Sucrose and Albedo? Figured it out themselves.

Kaeya? Found out by accident after Venti got too drunk.

Hu Tao? She already had suspicions that Zhongli was Morax, and Venti showing up along with him, Zhongli and Xiao all being awkward just confirmed it.

Heizou and Yanfei are pen pals. They're besties, Your Honor.

Kazuha and Heizou once did it on the fucking beach during VHD.

This was also 2 years before they started dating. And 3 before they met Aether.

Heizou's a bottom btw. a bratty one.

He and Sango tried dating once while they still got along, but broke up long before they split off

Technically, because of the Irminsul wipe, Venti is still the youngest of the archons. Nahida doesn't know how to feel about this. Neither does Aether.

XIAO IS CANONLY OLDER THAN VENTI ISTG IM NOT JOKING XIAO IS 4000+ AND VENTI IS AROUND 2600 IM FERAL

Anyway

Heizou is allergic to mangoes. And Lavender Melon, and- actually this guy is allergic to near every fruit... Except for sunsettias and pineapples, strangely enough.

This doesn't stop him from eating candy. Much to Sara's horror.

Dw, she has the bfs gang up on him.

Heizou struggles with depression at times. And it's something he goes to therapy for. He hasn't done anything, but for a while it was pretty bad, especially right after the decree ended.

Kaeya has hEDS (Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome)

It means his bones are more likely to dislocate and pop out of socket if he's not careful.

KAEYA FUCKING DUEL WEILDS SWORD AND CATALYS PLEASE MIHOYO GIVE ME CATALYST KAEYA I PROMISE TO BE GOOD

Kaeya is also autistic with some pretty weird sensory issues. The second water gets in his boots this man will toss them off faster than Signora died.

He hates wet socks. Despises them

Yes I'm projecting.

Speaking of Signora. Aether and Venti held a small unofficial funeral for her on Cape Oath. They only had her mask to bury...

Faruzan has all but adopted Kaveh as her grandson. Kaveh has accepted this.

She/they Paimon.

Aether is older than everyone (because, well, physical manifestation of a star) and doesn't tell anyone. He finds it funny

Hes also lactose intolerant. Lumine too.

Aether doesn't let it stop him. Lumine hates this about him.

Fischl is a system

The events of the Aranyaka quest and the Pari quest happened around the same time. How you ask? Aether didn't go to Sumeru alone, he brought Heizou and Kaeya (this is before Hei joined the polycule-)

Its also when Tighnari and Heizou eventually started dating because Heizou kept running off and dragging Kaeya with him when they were supposed to be recovering from the Samsara and Tighnari went "Oh godsdammit i like him..."

Cyno and Nari talked it out and Collei was also cool with it so Nari shot his shot and... It took longer than expected for Heizou to notice...

ANYWAY PARI QUEST

Along with Heizou and Kaeya, Kaveh and Nilou also went with them.

As you've spotted, there isn't a single healer among them

Heizou preoceeds to give Kaeya his spare catalyst and turns that boy into a healer.

"Sorry Aether, I turned your boyfriend into a healer"

The catalyst was the Inazuma craftable one...

Kaveh and Heizou actually hit it off pretty well, bonding over being geniuses in their respective fields

Nilou is Mom friend. Im correct. She calls people "darling" and "sweetheart"

Anemo should be allowed to swirl Dendro so it does in my universe.

Kaeya and Heizou are the ones to find the door to Khaenri'ah... Kaeya doesn't react well and all Heizou has to go on is that maybe the Abyss hurt him somehow

He's kinda right, but its not the full picture.

Also Cynonari have absolutely no clue where those two are at this point... They are Freaking Out because Aether is off doing other things and told them to keep those two in Ghandarvah Ville...

Heizou punches Al Haitham in the fucking face.

Lyney has longer hair, and it's braided over his shoulder like in Lisa's alt skin.

Lyney's outfit is also 30% more slutty because holy shit its an abomination.

The twins are both cats. Lyney is SUCH a catboy (derogatory)

I want that Twink Obliterated.

One-sided LyneyxAether. Lyney gets over it... eventually.

Barbara and Freminet is such a cute ship yall are sleeping

Lyney is canonly Down Atrocious for Aether omg that poor magician

Freminet occasionally drags the twins swimming with him. But only in shallow water cause Lynette doesn't like the water. Lyney does though.

Freminet has killed a man that looked at Lynette wrong. He will kill again.

Lyney: Autistic ADHD

Lynette: Autistic

Freminet: Autistic Agoraphobic (Agoraphobia is the fear of people)

Freminet and Lynette tag team Lyney when he's talking bad about himself

Can you tell i love these guys?

Wriothesley and Clorinde are.... they got Something goin on

Neuvillette and Furina are married.

Heizou punches Lyney in the face after the trial

Is immediately sent to Solitary Confinement for Inciting a Riot... In front of Wriothesley

"Oh this is bad... This is really bad!" Heizou

"What's wrong man?" Cyno

"I kissed Aether!" Heizou

"Woahhhhhh... I owe Nari and Yanfei so much mora" Cyno

After 4.2 Furina moves in with Venti at the Dawn Winery.

Diluc walked in to see her and Venti playing cards and went "I'll go set up a room."

Also canonly? Heizou is fucking buff. Never forget he can take down the ENTIRE POLICE STATION WITHOUT A VISION

Lyney is just "He could have rocked my shit...why was that hot?"

Wriothesley is Suffering because he lost a match to a twink

Heizou is Not friends with the Orphan Trio lol, but he is friends with Chevreuse. They bonded over shitty dads

Heizou also just goes home with the Inazuma cast after the Fontianalia Film Festival

Yanfei and Cyno also go home lol cause Natlan would not be the best place for them

Heizou, Kano Nana, and Gaming are cousins on their mother's side. Their moms were sisters and grew up in Konda Village.

Gaming and Amber are cousins on the paternal side

Gaming does NOT forgive his father during Lantern Rite. He's also angry at Aether for telling people his private matters.

Heizou is there during Lantern Rite because Favoritism Privilege. Heizou is also upset because he's been there.

Heizou's brother is named Yamashi and his mom is Kanae. The father stays nameless bc fuck him.

[honeykaes]

u know what makes me so mad? non kaeya mains (jk) yk what makes me acc mad tho? ppl acting like kaeya is a f boy like NOOOOO MY BABY IS SO HUSBAND 🔥🔥🔥 also IK U HAVE TASTE WHEN U ASK FOR KAEYA AND AYATO REQUESTS BC THOSE 2 R PART OF MY MAIN TEAM LIKE UGHHHHH and ugh alHaiThAm I'm not joking ayatollah obediently came home and yk I've been saving for alhaitham since AFTER HES COME OUT I MISSED NAHIDA FOR HIM AND GUESS WHAT THE LITTLE UNGRATEFUL CUNT CAME AFTER 120+ PULLS (diluc came first and account = ruined) even KAVEH CAME HOME ON HIS BANNER FUCKING KAVEH AND HE DIDNT EVEN FEATUREEEEEEEEE. rat behaviour. and istg I dont even wanna BUILD HIM THE UNGRATEFUL SWINE HE CAME HOME ON MY VERY LAST SINGLE PULL I hate him but ABS 🔥🔥🔥🔥 LOWKEY FEEL LIKE BUILDING A VERY FATHER TEAM WITH KAEYA AYATO ALHAITHAM AND DILUC (bc so many ppl like him 😒 jkjk he's highkey funny icl and ive got everything I need to ascend him) also worst day eveR I didn't get wolfs gravestone I got skyward blade beidou needs BUILDING HOYOVERSE anyways ur cute have a good day mi amor

BSHDISEOR there’s a lot here hahaha /lh

But yeah Alhaitham is a loser for not coming home to you until that much was pulled. That’s honestly me n thoma. When he first came out on Hu Tao’s first rerun Oct 2021, omfg…I got HU TAO and then finally got one copy of him in 120+ pulls :,)

And hehe thank you thank you. I like morally grey men who are still good at heart svdhdheujejeo

I hope you’re having a wonderful day too!

come n chat with me!

[bitbrumal]

                                                   QUESTION    ↤  @galactia​  ::  👫 + our ship & i’ll give you 4 facts  ↩

       ‘👫 (Zhong and Kaeya? ;D)’

i hate u ( affectionate ) for sending me this bc istg i TRIED to just write 4 snappy points but kaeya’s everything in response to zhongli is so juicy i kept writing whole posts on his psyche. i cut that shit & it’s still long as balls. this could have been about goddamn pancakes but i wanted to dig deeper & then it went too deep & now-

I.

kaeya goes out of his way to have possessions, tokens, or even parts of zhongli to physically entwine with him especially in his absence. the man’s generous in his affections, but the distance between them is generous too. whether it be braiding brown & gold into his own blue, voluntarily gifted- donning the fine robe zhongli had gifted him around christmas- piercing his ear a second & third time to wear cor lapis as close to inside him as is medically reasonable.          yes he eyes zhongli’s personal possessions when he’s over. yes he leaves his own most intimate ones when he leaves.

II.

although kaeya’s never bothered to learn to love anything, he’s so enamoured that he will try his best to enjoy bamboo shoot soup. it’s just... he hates bamboo.

III.

frequently breaks his brain over what to gift zhongli, & is RomanticTM enough to feel like,,, maybe to a man who sees how feral & rotten hollow he is about the concept of ‘love’... perhaps his heart is finally a fitting gift?           but then that seems stupid, so kaeya silently makes use of his inheritance & designs something achingly lovely. its weight & texture will be pleasant to the touch; the picture it makes a delight for the eyes. kaeya’s incredibly embarrassed about the wall of but i want my heart to be the gift he wants that continually gets in the way of any of these feats. just seems a bit rude to consider that burnt out husk of a heart an appropriate return gift.

IV.

zhongli’s endless dignity is the feathery lure to kaeya’s naughty, shameless cat behaviour. he gives exactly zero fucks about the man / god’s reputation--( since he’s fully convinced he can handle whatever's thrown at him anyway )--& will proceed to drag his own through the mud by smacking the man’s ass when he’s in the middle of a conversation, climbing him like a tree as they stroll through the market, snuggling up to him like a well-fed alley cat, & generally be affectionate in all the silly physical ways better suited to privacy.                    naturally, he has no intentions of actually crossing any real boundaries - just the ✨annoying✨ ones~~.

[ classified redacted essay under the cut. ]

I.

zhongli brings him a sense of belonging that outstrips the cold, horrible confidence that he’ll always be allowed back with his first ‘family’. a kindness that is fair, just, & lacks the blind willingness to sell himself cheap that diluc had had as a boy ( & possibly still has ). he brings an authority to the table that is more competent & dignified than varkas’, or all the current captains manning the ship in his wake combined. warmer than diluc by being less intense- & cold in warmth’s excess -than heat. more tempered--              hasn’t drawn a blade on him, fine, we’ll say it.        he comes with a stability that kaeya has never experienced - a sort of security that no doubt comes in part from his faux endlessness. but it’s the way he goes about being a person that grants someone in his company all these boons. it’s a shockingly ravenous thing. hadn’t known it could be this luxurious- just being around someone. is it less shallow for being more personal? or can he not say he loves him deeply, hah.

kaeya, in comparison, is only beneficial to be around when under duress. his qualities are mainly feigned so as to be wanted around long enough to do some benefiting himself. he tries very hard not to do that around zhongli unless he’s been too much of a bore. depression is a buzz kill.

II.

there is a special way zhongli clicks into his trauma & unlocks it, lets it flow freely 'away’. because much of kaeya’s terror toward him is direct. it’s morax he’s afraid of; one of celestia’s approved archons, one of those who fought in the war ( even if kaeya has apparently, deliciously / gratefully, misunderstood how )... all his life kaeya has been terrified because he now lives within the ‘eye of the seven’ or whatever. it could not be confronted with absent barbatos... even if kaeya after a few years deliberately went to a statue of him to see if he would, perhaps, be punished for existing some more.                  but zhongli not only allowed him to face & process his terror, he... despite kaeya having definitely not earned himself any points with a gentle, self-deprecating tone - by being forgiving, by blaming himself, by making it easy for rex lapis... being charming, being nice, being manipulative-

            he was allowed to hate & grieve & claw.

zhongli could have done actually anything. & continues to be able to. but does not. & not only is that true, but he makes a massive fucking point out of it.            kaeya never asked to be healed. he wanted to be dealt with, to be done with it all. if he had to fear something he had no hope at all to control- kill me or yield to me. the dragon does neither,..     fairly, kindly, honestly. wouldn’t stand for false accusations but stood for anything else-

the best man he’s ever met is a god & he’s furious about it. or perhaps, perhaps he’s just- perhaps this is another kind of passion. ah, yes -- all that hatred ( & boy is there hatred ) transmuted into love. recontextualised by the mind yet, stemming from the same generous part of the brain.

           it is the strongest emotion kaeya can give,                & it is breathtaking to be proud to gift it to him.

        my condemner, love me whole.

III.

kaeya is a little worried he’s just met a god so kind he’s... in a relationship founded on pity. but zhongli continues to be kind & open, & while it is impossible not to doubt - it is shockingly hard to have no reason to believe in something far too good to be true.

          it’s just that kaeya trusts in vulnerability & cruelty,     & the balance makes some sense. he could be strung along for a greater payoff later -- but kaeya has met one other impossibly kind man. even if they no longer speak. diluc made it possible at all for him to believe something like this, but that’s not anywhere near enough. zhongli-

[hiraya-rawr]

Hiraaaa😭 i belive this will be my 4th time sending this ask

Tumblr hates me istg

AAAAAAAAAAAAAASAAAAS

Anyways :D

May i ask for scaramouche, noelle, abyss sibling, sayu and qiqi , "looking for your favs" scenario pls?

No pressure if you dont/cant write it its fine or if you dont feel like writing it i can always send it again :)

(lets hope tumblr finally send this one :'))

Make sure to hydrate, eat enough, sleep enough and may your life and pulls be blessed by happines and luck

(also its ok if you wanna take your time with this or anything else since you might be having a hard time in a new area, i understand how hard it could be so dont feel pressured by this ask i just wanted to make sure it was sent😅)

hellooo I think I have one thing in my inbox about this, it must be yours as well, so it got through! and this is so sweet of you, thank you for the reassurance 😖

I'm glad you like "looking for your favorites"! as of now, I'm making the third version which has razor, diluc, and chongyun as suggested by another anon! I don't think I can make another part as of now because of my schedule and other drafts though 😭

I'll keep your other ask in my inbox in case I ever get to writing a fourth version, thank you very much for understanding!

[sakurabloom48]

What I think about you based on your main in genshin impact (half of these are jokes so if you think it’s mean, it’s probably a joke <3)

traveler- your basic,  probably under appreciated and either have no siblings, or older siblings that you never see (you guys are chill and fun to have around)

amber- you like bunnies and are fun to be around (i love your energy 😭) 

kaeya- you have daddy issues and are a simp… and very flirty (istg the ones ive meet are)

lisa- simp for the wife’s… dont tell me other wise, or jean simps (yall are strong tho…)

Jean- you either are never online, shes your only 5*, or 

Diluc- you probably have him at C1, have an annoying sibling, or your a simp for him…

Venti- if your older you probably like wine or alcohol, if your younger you probably plan on getting drunk on your 21st b-day, or your like Barbra and worship him…

Barbara- your like Albert and simp for her, think she’s the best healer, or don’t have Jean.

Noelle- wanted itto and zhongli but didn’t get them…

Bennett- you have bad luck on 50/50’s, but I love y’all 😭, you guys are adorable

Fischl- idk… never meet one, but you guys are probably chill and fun

Eula- your family had slaves… (I’m joking) you guys probably wanted ganyu and didnt get her, but I’ve meet only one of you guys, though she was chill.

Diona- you like anime cat girls… sorry but I hate diona, she keeps coming home instead of thoma…

Razor- YOU GUYS ARE ADORABLE 😭 and either loved call of the wild or other wolf things

Klee- you’ve thought about blowing up your own school once…

Albedo- marry me… you guys are into science and or alchemy, and you guys are hot… nope, your just to pure for our world ✨

Sucrose- your an albedo simp and your smart, no buts about it.

Rosaria- simp or you hate church and or don’t care about religion, and you have family who’s always bugging you about it (cough cough barbra)

Mona- F2P player who’s broke and still hasn’t bought anything from the game, good for you! Cause I’ve spent to much money on the game 🥲

Childe- zhongli simp, or you ship them and freak out when you find a zhongli main, have a bunch of money… or you simp for him and are a future scaramouche main…

Zhongli- Childe simp, ship them, same as Childe minuses the part about scaramouche. You also call xiao mains your child, kid, or son… this happens to me often sorry 🤣

Ganyu- your over powered and are a simp

Keqing- lost a 50/50 and wanted yae miko or the shogun but still stuck with keqing

Beidou- your hot… nope don’t say anything.

Chongyun- you guys have that thing for trying to talk to sprites, like popsicles, or just like the cold… idk never meet one…

Shenhe- probably also have ganyu… or wanted her, you guys are cool

Hu Tao- I lover you all!!!! YOU GUYS ARE AWSOME 😭

Xiao (imma call myself out here)- your emo… nope don’t argue… you either are or had a emo phase

Xangling- you like to cook, but I love y’all

Qiqi- either have her at c1 or higher… or wish you were dead(it’s a joke) you guys are cool lol

Yunjin- listen to her opera often 

Yelan- your cool and interesting, must be a wifu collector…

Xinyan- you like rock music, idk

Ningguang- your smart!

Yanfei- wanted Klee and didn’t get her

Xingqui- like books and probably only come on for commissions and for banners you want

Kazuha- MARRY ME✨❤️😭 I love you all plz! When is his rerun plz!

Thoma- sorry but I love you guys so freaking much! Your adorable and too sweet for our world, probably simp for him but also… marry me, I love you all, I’ve meet so many of you and you guys are all the same ISTG HUG MEEEEE😭✨❤️❤️❤️

Itto(calling myself out again): again…. Marry me! But you guys (and myself) are energetic and throw ushi everywhere you go… but seriously you guys are always fun to talk to in co ops and are probably some of the nicest mains I’ve ever meet other than thoma and Bennett mains AND AGAIN HUG MEEEE 😭😭😭

Yae miko- shogun simp…

Shogun- miko simp… and over powered!!!!!

Yomiya- y’all are fun up till a itto main comes along and the you try to one up them… still love you all though 🤣❤️

Sayu- I wanna pat your heads to upset you 😈! But you probably had a sonic phase

Ayaka- your chill and type quiet elegantly, and strong 🥰

Ayato- I only know one ayato main and she’s a simp… y’all are either simps or think he’s better than Childe and fight with Childe mains once you meet them

Kokomi- ✨too✨cute✨for✨this✨world✨ and y’all are good in domains to heal us, thanks ❤️

Gorou- probably date a Kokomi main or wanted itto and didn’t get him

Sara- you guys are shogun simps and probably hate itto…

[softzhongli]

summary: a closer look at the most exclusive group chat in all teyvat. we have two oblivious idiots in love, two horny bastards afraid of their feelings, a grumpy cat and his sunshine boyfriend and one very single and tired girl... among many many others warnings: swearing, probably some angst info: crack fic, multi-chaptered, social media au, not much different they just have phones lmao main pairing: zhongli x diluc side pairings: xiao x venti // childe x kaeya (for now)                       + lumine and other characters (added as we go) requests: open posted: 10/02/2022 a/n: kinda just wanna write it all at once lmao who needs sleep anyway, right? lol

PREV II MASTERLIST II NEXT

CHAT: #AntiKaeyaGuild ⮡  members: lumine / diluc / xiao / venti / childe / kaeya / zhongli

lumine: GUYS

lumine: HELP

venti: ???

childe: do i have to kill someone?

lumine: me ☠️

kaeya: k, what’s going on?

lumine: i’m going to liyue

zhongli: i’m waiting to greet you :)

kaeya: and?

lumine: @kaeya i’m going to liyue WITH DILUC

venti: oh...

childe: O H

kaeya: rip

xiao: 😬

lumine: even xiao knows ☠️

diluc: i don’t get what’s the problem

diluc: hi, zhongli :)

lumine: ofc you don’t

zhongli: hello, diluc :)

lumine: wow, it’s like i’m not even here

lumine: kaeya come with us T.T

kaeya: sorry, i’m busy doing... things

childe: i’m things 😈

lumine: ihateyouihateyouihateyou

kaeya: 🤷🏻‍♀️

lumine: hey @kaeya truth or dare?

kaeya: SHUT UP 

diluc: hey @zhongli i was hoping you could help me with a new wine flavour. could you taste it for me? i can bring it with me?

childe: @lumine @kaeya ???

zhongli: of course! I’m always more than happy to help!

venti: THERE’S A NEW WINE???

venti: @lumine can i come???

diluc: no

kaeya: @childe don’t worry about it

kaeya: right @lumine?

lumine:  idk 😈 😈 😈

venti: @zhongli ur boyfriend’s mean to me

zhongli: oh i’m sure diluc is just joking

lumine: wait

childe: wait

venti: wait

kaeya: wait

zhongli: is something wrong?

lumine: ARE YOU TWO FINALLY DATING????

zhongli: what?

lumine: venti basically called diluc your boyfriend and neither of you denied it

kaeya: well i think zhongli's answer broke diluc, so he’s not able to deny anything right now lol

zhongli: oh, i didn’t even think about it

zhongli: @diluc i hope i didn’t make you uncomfortable

lumine: 🤡

venti: @diluc don’t say anything if i can deink for free tonight

lumine: lol

venti: NICE

venti: @xiao date night!

childe: he he 😈

childe: hey @diluc say nothing if you’re in love with someone from this chat 😈

lumine: oooooh

kaeya: nice one, babe

lumine: hey @childe say nothing if you’re in love with someone from this chat

diluc: nice try @childe  

diluc: @zhongli um, don’t worry about it, i don’t mind

lumine: ohmygod i can tell he’s blushing even from the way he texts asdfghjkl

zhongli: i’m glad to hear that :)

lunine: you two are so disgustingly cute, i hate it

venti: @xiao and i are cuter

xiao: 🖤

lumine: can a boyfriend or a girlfriend just fall from the sky for me pls 😭

zhongli: don't worry @lumine you'll find someone good

kaeya: albedo's single if you're interested

lumine: kaeya, I will not date your ex boyfriend ffs

xiao: why? he's handsome

lumine: XIAO?????????

venti: I'd be so upset if it wasn't actually true

xiao: i love you @venti

lumine: the world's ending istg

kaeya: wait

kaeya: waitwaitwait

kaeya: CHILDE WHY ARE YOU QUIET???

venti: 👀

lumine: 👀

venti: 😏

lumine: 😏

venti: 🖐🏻

lumine: 🖐🏻

[mrpenguinpants]

KAEYA PLAYING WITH ABYSS MAGES AHDHSHDHSB IM- that’s so cute????? Guizhong being older than Zhongli is such a valid hc, I fully support and condone it. Thank you. And Childe growing to like battle was something I found interesting because he was once mentioned to be fragile and weak in his character stories iirc? I like to think that maybe the initial reason he persevered was to overcome that past status.

Also, YES. They’d have the worst habits, and it would eventually become more visible the more comfortable it becomes, but Keqing just gives up on trying to change anything because it’s literally hopeless.

I also headcanon that they have different ways to show appreciation for Keqing. E.g. Childe sometimes uses one of his cringy ass Russian nicknames and when she looks up the meaning, she turns from the most straight-faced woman known to man to a highkey affection-starved queen self-destructing in her room.

Diluc leaves a note on her desk that are simple “Sleep early today. Tomorrow is your day-off.” or “Don’t over work yourself.” messages. He’s so self-conscious about it because like, what if Kaeya catches him up at night contemplating whatever reaction he’ll get. Ends up feeling so accomplished whenever his messages bring a smile to her face.

Kaeya, I feel, would be more open in a sense? Keqing is the last person he thinks he’s be able to deceive, and so he chooses not to. He’s probably one who enjoys deep conversations about literally anything be it mosaic artwork or changes in between modern and archaic politics. A good listener and a fine conversation partner, I feel they’d certainly have interesting conversations.

Zhongli lowkey seizing every opportunity to bring up Rex Lapis and his sense of humor is lowkey degrading Morax for his past mistakes. He’s like “Oh, I thought you hated him. I hate him too” and proceeds to laugh at the fact that the oh-so legendary Geo archon bore a hole in his hoodie for his hair. FOR HIS HAIRS. Keqing is losing her sanity trying not to expose herself as a closeted fan.

The anon lists’ name is super cute btw! Makes me feel pretty blessed for being there haha. I just finished midterms and goodness, I am exhausted. We’re having a short break so I think I can send asks much faster during the brief moment of rest. And pls drink responsibly 🙏

Sincerely, Keqing harem brainrot anon

I lowkey plucked Kaeya playing with mobs and shoved it into the royalty au because god damn, that’s fucking cute. I’m so behind on my asks;; but it’s okay cause we’re here now. I don’t know, Guizhong being that older sister/mother/whatever figure is so heartwarming to me. I think you’re right? I vaguely remember him saying he was pretty fragile but I have the memory of a goldfish haha. Lowkey, this is why I really want the part 2 and 3 of character story quests to go more in depth with their actual character stories. I want to see Childe talk about his feelings and meet his siblings, I want to hear more about Guizhong, I want to hear about the crippling loneliness and depression that Bennett and Barbara have (NO I WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT THIS PART. WHY THE FUCK IS GENSHIN NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS? I KNOW ITS FUN AND GAMES BUT LET ME CARE ABOUT THEM. 1.4 has these hangout events and istg, bennett and barabara have one and if we don’t talk about our feelings I’m going to cry). 

oml their bad habits, Zhongli and his extensive collection of plants because that’s the most social interaction he gets (yes, zhongli is a planter. no i do not take criticism tyvm) and it starts off with a couple plants. Not too bad. Then the next day Keqing walks and it looks like their entire home turned into a forest. But Zhongli loves his plant children and Keqing is slowly losing her mind and starts referring to the plants with the nicknames Zhongli gave them. 

This. This is cute. These appreciation ideas. I fully approve and we need to bring them back. I don’t know anything about Russian but I have a friend that does. But I don’t know how to casually say “hey, can you give me Russian nicknames of endearment. It’s for research.”. Keqing radiates professional in the front, social anxiety in the back. I just love that they added the detail that she’s secretly a Rex Lapis fan but pretends that she hates him. I know there is art of Zhongli lowkey being creeped out or vv smug when he find’s Keqings stash but idk, imagining him being a proud dad and giving headpats even though Keqing is an adult. 

Okay. Let me level with you. Sticky notes of reassuring phrases are the best and why the fuck aren’t people doing it more. I’ve been reading “my mom left a note on the table” or “my partner puts sticky notes in my textbooks as a pick me up” for CENTURIES but am I seeing it in real life? Fuck no. Please, if someone does this for you. Keep them, never let them go. I can imagine Diluc writing these messages, feeling confident when he writes them and ready to be a supportive person. The next day he’s looking at these notes and thinking “what the fuck did I just write, this is garbage” (totally not how I feel about my writing). Then he proceeds to throw them in some cabinet but since Kaeya doesn’t know the first thing about personal boundaries he goes snooping around in Diluc’s room, discovers the notes, and he ends up taking them and putting them on Keqing’s things. It makes her happy so Diluc is going to ignore the very pressing issue with whether or not he should commit manslaughter. 

You know, that’s very valid. That’s how I feel about Kaeya’s relationship with Lisa or Albedo. People that don’t get riled up or annoyed by his antics the same way Amber is. I feel like if you’re looking for small talk, he’s not a bad choice, but if you want those deep 3am conversations he’s definitely the person to go to. Zhongli isn’t a bad choice either but Zhongli tends to go into historical and philosophical moments (which isn’t bad) but you want to have someone relate to you or it feels like an actual conversation and not a history lesson then he’s actually perfect. Especially more controversial topics, I feel like Kaeya would probably have very different opinions from the norm. 

YES. YES. YES I’m replying to these as I read them but YES. Honestly, I get it. Zhongli is a super polite and respectable person. But. But. Have you seen how he clowned on Childe?? That entire interaction?? He didn’t even look the slightest big apologetic for almost destroying Liyue and using the man who was going to kill him to pay for his funeral. What a power move?? And you’re telling me you don’t see him being a smug prick. I love Zhongli’s story quest where everyone is saying “oh the first mora was treasured or it holds mythical powers” and Zhongli is looking at them as if they’re idiots. 

tyty (❤´艸｀❤) I’m blessed to have you here. Oh, I hope you did well on your midterms tho and be sure to rest. I am a bit late to replying to this so hopefully I caught you before your break was over.

Always lovely hearing from you,

Pengu

[krxideprnz-archive]

im wondering if xiao really will have a rerun cuz damn i want that boi so much😔BUT MY STUPID ASS CANT STOP FROM USING ALL MY PRIMOGEMS ON WISHING SGAJGSJSHAK i hate myself damnit THIS IS ALL CUZ DILUC REFUSE TO COME HOME😭THAT MF- DJSKSJSK fuck diluc imma save primogems for xiao😭☠️PRAY FOR ME TO HAVE SELF-CONTROL PLEASE

I DONT HAVE ANY SELF CONTENT EITHER ISTG

I keep pulling and pulling even though I wanna save 😭 it makes me so mad omggg

[popi-the-fatui]

Popi’s Ranking of Genshin Enemies

Based on how much they annoy me 😡

(from “meh” to “HEJENEKSKSBDJDK”)

Warnings: Language

Paimon: she annoys me the most but (unfortunately) she is not an enemy so...

Hydro Slimes: I just let them electrocute to death with my Beidou. The Scaramouche kinnie in me gets satisfied when I do this.

Basic Hillichurl: Nothing a claymore character can’t deal with (*You Spin Me Round* plays in the back of my mind). Sometimes they throw mini slimes and it reminds me of the “yeET” vine, which brings me good memories.

Pyro/Cryo/Anemo Slime: I want a plushie of them and I almost feel bad when I fight them.

Geo Slime: biatch I’m trying to mine here.

Electro Slime: the only way of killing them quickly is with a Pyro DPS and I don’t have one (Diluc pls come home)

Hillichurl with a shield: If I’m playing without my glasses the amount of time it takes me to realize I haven’t destroyed its shield is embarrassing.

Hillichurl with a bow: stop shooting at me I’m trying to destroy the Mitachurl here, thank you very much.

Dendro Slime: I will set fire to all of Teyvat if that is what it takes for you to come out, you effing coward.

Samachurl: I find their little laughs very cute. I specially don’t like the Hydro and Dendro ones because they heal my enemies but all in all very easy to defeat.

Treasure Horders: I hate when I use my ults to fight them and all I get in return is a rusty ass bronze insignia.

Mitachurl with axe: I like freezing them up and sometimes they drop artifacts but I’m terribly afraid of farm animals and they remind me of bulls.

Geo Fatui: baby would you stop teleporting? I’m trying to hear your voice (the JP voice is 👌🏼)

Mitachurl with a shield: how many times do I have to set you on fire? My pyro main is Xinyan and it takes ages for her fire shield to reset. Please have mercy on me oh mighty minotaur.

Geovishap: though I don’t like how they go underground and appear in another place, they are forgiven because when you hit them and they show you their bellies they remind me of big doggos and I love big doggos.

Shotgun Fatui: once you destroy their shields they are a piece of cake but it took me a great amount of time to discover that only Hydro works for that.

Pyro Whopperflower: Barbara laughs at the cries of her victims (but those lava balls missiles are terrifying)

Pyro Abyss Mage: the most friendly of them all until it decides to kill me with those three floating things that breath fire.

Ruin Guard/Automatons: though most people don’t like the missiles, my main concern is that arm tornado. Though extra happy points for Mr. Cyclops.

Cryo Whopperflower: would. you. stop. trying. to. impale. my. characters. please??!!

Lawachurl: they would be less annoying if the one I have to defeat in the challenge right outside the Domain of Guyun would cooperate.

Anemo Fatui: every time I get sucked in by the vacuum I yell “YOINK” and scare the people around me.

Pyro Fatui Agent: never have I hated so much the fact that I can’t see shit from close. All is unicorns and rainbows until this mf decides to disappear on me.

Eye of the Storm: drop something floating mf. Anything!! It takes me so long to defeat them as I don’t main a bow user and all I get is EXP points?! Istg some dandelion seeds would be enough.

Hydro Healer Fatui: I still feel like a fool when I realized the bubbles were healing his teammates and not attacking me.

Fatui Cicin Mage: They are this up on this list solely because of their annoying voice and annoying teletransportation power. Are you trying to seduce me or fight me?

Cryo Abyss Mage: Diluc please come home.

Cryo Fatui: Reminds me of Santa. I can’t tell if he is a Hydro one or a Cryo one until he attacks me and I’ve lost 1/4 of my HP.

Ruin Hunter: would you judge me if I told you I try to avoid them at all costs? Yeah I don’t feel like fighting the robot version of Edward Scissorhands nor avoiding (without success) the missile shower.

Hydro Abyss Mage: Bubble Prison™️. I rest my case. Bonus Annoying points if it is paired with a Cryo one.

MOSQUITO TRIFECTA: MFS WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO SMALL AND SO FAST I WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME AND YOU COME AND ATTACK ME FOR FREE AJDNDKSNSISLSLS PETITION FOR MIHOYO TO ADD A BUG SPRAY TO THE INVENTORY I HATE THEM NOT ONLY I HAVE TO DEAL WITH BUGS IN REAL LIFE BUT ALSO IN A GAME??!!

[tartagliaxx]

I'm sorry for the word vomit that i'm about to type out in your inbox but today i just read kaeya's 'character story 5' and 'vision' in my teapot while listening to that sad emerald peak ost and now i'm crying in my teapot-- i mean i already know what is it about but when reading it for the first time myself oh boy

His 'vision' story hits especially hard for me, when (spoiler i guess?) it said that his vision will always be a reminder of his fight with diluc and also a reminder that he must live the rest of his life under the burden of lies, like, i just-- I can't?? I want it so badly for them to make up and be brothers again because quite literally they're what each others have left?? Istg if mhy k word one of them they better be ready to pay for my therapy (i'm now in dawn winery, vibing with the sad music while thinking about them)

hang on for one sec.... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA— ok. now, that’s done. man,, the pain i felt when i first read that is immeasurable. like seriously,, no. just no, mhy. so that plus sad bg music? bestie, hang in there. i feel like,, diluc and kaeya don’t really hate-HATE each other but things are just,, too torn apart to reconcile in the present circumstances. i hope that they do though bc as you said, they only have each other now and ironically, it’s also them who knows the other best. you know what? just the thought of one of them dying gave me so much trauma. that’s not alright. i demand just compensation.

ok but one of those ‘i forgive you’ bs while they’re dying in the other’s arms. oh and the ‘no. no, please. don’t leave.’

[beidousbunny]

ive been trying to farm artifacts for xiangling for AGES and still haven't gotten the one that i want 😃 i hate this game istg -☂️

PLS IF UR DOING THE CRIMSON WISH DOMAIN 😭 I HATE THAT ONE SO MUCH I HAD TO DO IT LIKE 1000 TIMES BECAUSE OF DILUC, BENNETT AND HU TAO 💔

[softzhongli]

summary: a closer look at the most exclusive group chat in all teyvat. we have two oblivious idiots in love, two horny bastards afraid of their feelings, a grumpy cat and his sunshine boyfriend and one very single and tired girl... among many many others warnings: swearing, probably some angst info: crack fic, multi-chaptered, social media au, not much difference they just have phones lmao pairings: childe x kaeya // xiao x venti // zhongli x diluc + lumine and other characters requests: open posted: 21/02/2022 a/n: guess what? there’s some chaeya angst coming your way 😈 i can’t have a fic without angst okay? lmao, it’s already written but i’m waiting for the right time to post it he he he, anyway! enjoy this one! xx >> if you wanna talk or sth hmu here on tumblr or on discord (itskxnga#8629) or in genshin (eu // uid: 736495790)

PREV II MASTERLIST II NEXT

CHAT: 🤡 clown town 🤡 ⮡  members: lumine / diluc / xiao / venti / childe / kaeya / zhongli / thoma

kaeya: excuse me? what the hell was that yesterday?

kaeya: i'm offended no one added me back after lumine removed me from the group

kaeya: #fakefriends

venti: tough shit

childe: explanation when?

lumine: there's nothing to explain

lumine: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

kaeya: um I beg to differ?

lumine: you can beg all you want

childe: i hate it here

lumine: that's my line

childe: tough shit

venti: that's MY line

childe: 😐

lumine: 😐

venti: now kiss and make up you three

kaeya: you're part of the problem too?

venti: tough shit

thoma: asdfhhjkl

lumine: anyway, I'm not into threesomes

venti: guess your last brain cell is on vacation huh?

lumine: haters gonna hate

lumine: ✌🏻😘

kaeya: but seriously give me the scoop!

kaeya: i don't like being out of the loop

lumine: sucks to be you then

kaeya: lumine c'mon!

lumine: fine, we're planning your birthday 🙄

kaeya: i invented that excuse!

kaeya: also my birthday's not for another nine months

kaeya: you planning on gifting me a niece or a nephew?

venti: asdfhhjkl

thoma: i volunteer to help

venti: ohmygod

venti: this is so fun

lumine: OVER MY DEAD BODY

lumine: no children allowed here

thoma: 😂

venti: 😂

kaeya: ALSO also then why did you remove childe as well?

lumine: because he would tell you everything

lumine: i'm not stupid

kaeya: you definitely are but that's a conversation for another day

lumine: RUDE?????

kaeya: ✌🏻😘

venti: @childe you still here?

childe: mhm

lumine: 👀

venti: 👀

thoma: 👀

lumine: idk something seems fishy about both of you

kaeya: both of who?

venti: you and childe obvs

childe: nope, gotta go, bye

lumine: ?

venti: so I guess the two of you still didn't talk?

kaeya: 😐

lumine: cool

thoma: coolcoolcool

venti: nice

kaeya: 🙄

kaeya: it's too awkward, I can't talk to him now

lumine: IT'S AWKWARD *BECAUSE* YOU DIDN'T TALK, YOU BUFFON

kaeya: wow, now I'm offended again

lumine: asdfhhjkl i hate you

lumine: i hate you both so muuuuch

venti: honestly idk if I should laugh or cry at this point

lumine: same

kaeya: do I have to be the first to talk to him????

thoma: nope, don't go there buddy

thoma: that won't do you any good

venti: so smart

thoma: 😘

xiao: ☠️

lumine: and there he is lmao

lumine: the best way to get xiao to come here is to flirt with venti istg

thoma: shit 😳

[tartagliaxx]

HI! GOOD MORNING (yes, it’s 1pm here and i just woke up). congrats on your lvl 10 diluc!! namecards are the biggest flex wdym? my xiao is like an inch away from lvl 9 but it’s taking literally ages. my hair turned white istg.

hmmm personally i dont think i ever felt flustered by posting my writing? anxious and insecure maybe but never flustered? ig its important to condition urself into thinking that you’re posting your writing for yourself and no matter how many notes or whatnot you get, ultimately the goal is to have fun and get better at it. oh and also,, think less about your writing being bad (trust me its not) but more about your writing having so much potential and room for improvement. do what ur heart tells u to do boo <3

OMG YES? like ugh i hate people touching me but i wanna cuddle and just be putty in someone else’s hands bc im so touchstarved but also too awkward to ask or reciprocate. all the people around me are huggers and kissers so i would always just be🧍‍♀️while they cover me w their sap. also, YES. not a single person in genshin does not deserve a hug (ok maybe albert and royce dont) and a cup of tea as they rant about their problems and stuff and i absolutely volunteer as tribute. pls mhy... give them a single drop of happiness for a change.

[alberivh]

YOUR REBLOGS HAS ALWAYS BEEN SO INTERESTING THANK YOU VERY MUCH

istg i also hate the fact childe got to marry the reader at the end, like mf?? HOW COME THE MOTHER DOESNT KNOW HIS IDEA TO CONTROL THE WHOLE FORTUNE THE READERS FAMILY OWN? THIS BITCH IS SO ANNOYING??

AND CHILDE SHUT UPP, DONT YOU EVER CHOKE HIM wHAT THE FUCK, AND FUCK YOU DILUC, yOU’RE SO LOVABLE AND NOW YOU’RE GONE IN NO TIME THATS NOT VERY NICE

AND NO NO IM NOT GOING TO MAKE THE READER HAVE A RELATIONSHIP IN THE END, i’m going to make the reader have a death-flag at the end because it was a form of karma for those who live in a throne and die in a filth. Diluc would saw you dying though, because his karma was to saw you die and live a long forgetful life

Devotion (ROYAL AU) pt.2 — remnants

Butler! Diluc X GN!Reader . Royal! childe (as supporting character), butler! Kaeya

contains : heavy angst, comfort/hurt, isolation, arranged marriage, major character death, mentions of blood, injuries, execution, abusive relationship, abandonment, ‘consumption’, false accusation, blades, unrequited love

summaries : arranged marriage has always been one of your family ruthless tradition. You were allowed to love them you couldn’t reach, yet the feeling of being abandoned once and for all by those who you truly treasured was more than numbness could ever describe. Diluc who’s your lover need to accept this tradition, yet he, himself need to get his life down for your future sake.

A/N : here’s the pt.1 of devotion, you may check it out if you wanted to know the beginning of it. Thank you very much for the support these past weeks, i couldn’t be able to repay much as usual, but thank you very much once again. AH AND THE ENDING WAS INSPIRED BY @mika-zuko IDEA SO PLEASE CHECK THEM OUT !! (This is very long but anw, hope you enjoy it)

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