#I had this rattling in my brain for a while

[froggiewrites]

Hello! I was wondering if i could request a Zoro or a Law x gn! or m!reader with angst? They are in a fight and reader kinda ignores them and hides from them and Zoro or Law realize how in love they are with the reader? Can end however you want!

Sorry I've been so slow on requests, writer's block hit me pretty hard this week! I chose Zoro with a gn!reader for this one, it just seemed to fit him pretty well (man is not good with his emotions). I hope you enjoy it!

A Bridge Too Far

Pairing: Zoro x Reader

SFW

Summary: Zoro is terrible at handling his frustrations, and you're tired of being his punching bag. He doesn't realize what he's lost until it's gone. Warnings: Angst, Zoro being a bad boyfriend, not a happy but possibly a hopeful ending? Word Count: 2.3k

Like most of your arguments with Zoro, he started it.

He always starts it, even when he doesn’t want to. When his frustrations start to bubble, he can’t help but lash out at whoever’s closest, and that’s normally you. You’re always there, waiting for him, and you never hold it against him once he calms down. Frankly, they’re less arguments and more one-sided furious rants, as you never rise to the provocation. So he doesn’t think much of it when he snaps at you again after a particularly tough battle, one that left a buzzing under his skin and a strain in his muscles that he couldn’t shake. You wouldn’t mind. You never did.

A few minutes after you follow him to the training room, sitting quietly in the corner while he readies his swords, he finally snaps. “Will you just leave me alone for once? How am I supposed to relax with you trailing after me like this?”

You don’t just sit there and take it like you always do. You don’t just get up and leave, ready to come back when he’s calmer. You stare at him a moment, not radiating fury or indignation, simply…disappointment. Weariness. “Again?”

“What?” He snaps.

“We’re doing this again? Really?” You seem completely composed and calm. It infuriates him more than snapping ever could.

“What do you mean, doing this again? You following me around like a lovesick puppy? Yeah, I guess we are.” He hits the target in front of him harder, sending splintering wood everywhere. The sound of it pierces his brain, rattling around, making him feel even worse.

You sigh, sounding horribly burdened and beaten down. “You know what? Sure. Whatever. I’ll leave you alone, Zoro, if that’s what you want. But this is the last time. I’m not putting up with this anymore.”

He grits his teeth. “Won’t put up with this? Shouldn’t that be my line?”

Your eye twitches, finally a show of emotion, a show that he’s affecting you. “I’m not your punching bag, Zoro. I’m not here for you to use to work off your adrenaline instead of learning to deal with your emotions like an adult. I’m supposed to be someone you care about.” You finally stand, gathering your things and turning to leave. You don’t look back at him as you call, “You’re going to regret this, but I won’t.”

The door slamming echoes through the room, sounding horribly…final.

He ignores it.

It takes a few hours for him to finally wind down, for the buzzing to quiet and leave nothing but a blissful silence. He doesn’t bother cleaning up the wood all over the floor, or taking a shower to rid himself off all of the sweat. He has only one thought: his bed, warm and soft and welcoming. If he’s lucky, you’ll be in it, waiting for him to hold you close and kiss your face, the closest thing he’s ever given to an apology. He eagerly makes his way to the Sunny’s sleeping quarters, opening the door slowly to the cacophony of snores coming from Luffy and Franky, accompanied by Sanji, Chopper, and Usopp’s quiet breathing. Brook is still on deck, on watch for the night, so it makes sense his bunk is empty, but Zoro notices your bed is also suspiciously clear. Even your pillow and blanket are gone, the sheets not even wrinkled, as though no one had ever slept there at all.

A small part of him tells him he should check on you, make sure you’re alright. But a much larger, louder part is crying out for rest, and he cannot help but give in, falling face first onto his mattress without even changing clothes. He’s asleep within seconds.

He’s alone when he wakes up. He doesn’t typically sleep very long, instead napping in short bursts throughout the day, but he can see the light pouring in under the door and he realizes he must have slept at least until noon. He’s shivering, still on top of his blanket. Usually when he falls asleep like this, you throw one of the extras in your locker over him, tucking him in like a child. You must not have come back in at all last night.

He ignores the uncomfortable feeling nipping at him, something he will not name. You’re fine. You’re an adult, and one night away from your bed doesn’t mean anything.

But then you aren’t at lunch.

Sanji is giving him dirty looks, and Nami is giving him the most foul side-eye he’s ever had the displeasure of receiving. The rest of the crew are trying to act normal, but Franky is suspiciously absent and Usopp is so nervous he keeps dropping everything he tries to pick up, ending in him spilling water all over himself and taking the excuse to “take a second to go change” and never come back.

He finally breaks after Sanji brings Nami another drink, takes an obvious glance at him, and they start to whisper to each other. He makes out the words idiot, asshole, and loser (the first two from Nami and the latter from Sanji), before he slams his fork down. “What? What is it?”

Nami turns to him, filled with the sort of righteous fury she only saved for those who dare hurt her friends. “God, Zoro, you don’t even know? What’s wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? You’re all acting weird as hell!”

Sanji jumps in. “Because you’re acting like a jerk and have the gall to pretend everything is normal, asshole! What the hell did you say to them yesterday?”

What he said to…oh. That feeling comes back again, and he furiously clamps down on it, replacing it with a significantly more comfortable and familiar indignance. “That’s none of your business, cook.”

“Oh, yeah? Well, I think I deserve to know why I had to find them sleeping in the goddamn kitchen this morning, actually.”

In the kitchen? Of course. It’s the one place you knew he would never find you. He never went there other than mealtimes, avoiding the possibility of another stupid fight with Sanji when he wasn’t up for it. “How the hell should I know?”

“Are you still pretending you don’t know it’s your fault? They were bawling their eyes out after leaving the training room.” Nami’s even angrier than Sanji is, and Zoro genuinely thinks she might hit him. The smaller, more tender part of himself, the one he’s ignoring, wouldn’t even blame her.

But that part isn’t in charge today. “My relationship isn’t your goddamn business.”

“Relationship? You seriously think you still have one of those?”

His blood runs cold, but he forces the feeling away, standing up from the table and stalking off. “I don’t have to take this.”

Nami calls after him, “I hope they dump you!”

Sanji cries out soon after. “I hope you fall into the sea, asshole!”

Zoro could go look for you. Should, even. But he instead makes the trek to the crow’s nest, cherishing the quiet, the solitude, the safety of it.

But as he sits in what is usually his sanctuary, he begins to feel that itch beneath his skin. Quiet turns to unbearable silence, solitude turns to loneliness, safety turns to suffocation. He tries to close his eyes, to center himself, take control as he loves to do, but the moment he does he can see nothing but your face. He can almost feel your hands on his back, rubbing soothing circles while your voice gently shushes him. You were so good at that, calming him down right when he needed you. Giving him a patience he simply didn’t deserve.

A patience he had been taking for granted.

What would he do, if another man had made you cry? If someone else had raised their voice at you as he had, time and again?

Part of him tried to justify it. But I don’t mean it, some petulant part of himself cried. They know I don’t mean it.

But do you? And would it matter, anyway? He’s still shouting. You’re still taking it. How long can you perform the same song and dance before it stops being a performance?

He needs to apologize.

He just needs to find you first. You aren’t in the kitchen, though Sanji is, and he doesn’t even speak with him this time, just giving him a mean glare that would send a lesser man running. Zoro hates to admit he deserves it. You aren’t in your bed, and your things are still missing. Not in Chopper’s office. Not in the library. Not in the bathroom, though Robin is, and he has to take a moment to furiously apologize for not knocking while she laughs at him.

He can only think of a few more places to check when he remembers who was missing this morning.

Franky’s workshop is quieter than he’s ever heard it, only filled with the quiet clanking of a small hammer against an even smaller piece of metal. Franky is using his second set of hands to put together some clockwork trinket, a significantly more delicate project that he usually takes on. Zoro is confused only for a moment, then he sees you, eyes intensely watching, and he realizes what’s going on. Franky has taken you in today, chosen something simple and small to distract you, to allow you to participate in some way. He’s always been great at small comforts like this, allowing someone the peace of his presence without worrying about being a burden.

Zoro could learn a lot from him.

Franky clearly knows he’s there, shoulders tensing slightly, but he doesn’t speak, waiting for one of you to take the first step. You don’t seem to notice either, too enraptured by the small metal bird in Franky’s hands, a look of wonder on your face that makes Zoro’s heart skip despite himself.

“Hi.” He cringes the moment he speaks, the peace shattering instantly. Franky doesn’t turn to acknowledge him, but he can practically feel the wince that must be on his face from the lame opener. Your head shoots up like a frightened rabbit, every part of you tense and ready to run. You pull in on yourself, making yourself smaller, like if you’re lucky he might miss you entirely, move on to the next prey. He puts up his hands, the first and only act of surrender he has ever performed, before continuing. “Can we talk? In private?”

You look to Franky, and Zoro doesn’t know what the look you two exchange means, but it makes you get up and approach. You give him a wide berth, not even coming within a foot of him, but you nod at him briefly to indicate he should follow. However small of a gesture it is, you’ve finally acknowledged him. That’s something.

You lead him back down to the training room, still covered in splintered wood and reeking of sweat. He can’t help but notice you didn’t pick a neutral location. You lead him somewhere he feels safe.

You turn to him. “Talk.”

He hesitates a moment, trying not to trip over himself and somehow make this work, but he can see that he’s finally reached the end of your apparently not-quite-infinite patience. “I’m…sorry.” He says the words through gritted teeth, feeling as though they burn his mouth as they leave. He doesn’t like to apologize in words, but in action. In gentle hands, in small acts he could deny later. He doesn’t know why it embarrasses him, to admit he was wrong. He is pretty often. But something about it makes him feel so small, so weak. But he can be small and weak for you, right now. No matter how much it hurts.

Your eyes widen, and you take the smallest step backwards. Shocked by him admitting for once he’s at fault. “You’re…sorry?”

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

You narrow your eyes at him, searching for some kind of trick, some hidden knife ready to plunge into your back. “For what?”

“For…for what? You know for what.” He winces at how defensive he sounds, at how you start to pull in on yourself again. “Sorry. Um. For yelling at you. For taking my anger out on you when you did nothing wrong. For how I always do that. I…I don’t know why I snap at you. And it’s wrong.”

“Yes, it is.” You close your eyes for a moment, taking a deep, shuddering breath. “It isn’t fair of you to keep doing this. I tried letting it slide, because I know you just don’t know how to handle your feelings, that you aren’t coming from a place of malice. But that doesn’t make it okay. And you never stopped.” You turn your back to him, approaching a nearby window, staring out at the sea.

“I’m going to stop now. I swear it.”

“I won’t be with someone who speaks to me like that. I deserve better. You know I deserve better.” You’re trying to play tough, but he can hear the shake in your voice, and he realizes that just like yesterday you’ve only turned around so he can’t see the tears on your lashes.

He wraps his arms around you, burying his face in your hair. “You do. I swear I’ll treat you like you deserve. If I ever talk to you like that again, I’ll fall on my own sword.”

“...Swords.”

“Huh?”

“Swords. All three.”

He chuckles despite himself. “Alright. I’ll fall on all three at the same time.”

“Good. …You deserve it.”

“I know.” A silence hangs in the air. “I love you.”

You don’t answer.

You don’t hug him back, and you’re still sniffling, but you let him hold you. That has to be enough for now.

Tag List: @pandora-writes-one-piece (if you saw I forgot the taglist when I first posted this no you didn't)

[godihatethiswebsite]

Desert Oasis

✽ Johnny "Soap" Mactavish x f!reader (The Mummy AU)

Main Masterlist ✽ Ao3

°•. ✿ .•°.•° ✿ °•.°•. ✿ .•°.•° ✿ °•.°•. ✿ .•°

✽ Part 10 - Intoxicating distractions

It's been a bad mixture of circumstances that made this take as long as it has. Normally it's just a matter of having to write between lengthy bouts of brain fog and fatigue, but unfortunately this summer hasn't been the best for me and I'm only now getting pseudo back in the swing of things.

I was planning on finishing up all of the Hamunaptra arc in this chapter, but I got tired of wanting perfection for the second half and the couple of you who stick around for this one deserved to not wait any longer.

So, here I am - breaking my own weird internal chapter flow rules. For the first time since May, have a healthy portion of 4.8k words~

Point of note - there's some Gaelic written in this chapter. Please don't google translate it as it gives you the wrong meaning. Just paste it into a search bar instead. It's from a very lovely song~

Shock, it seemed, was your body’s default response to trauma.

The aftermath of the chaos was a lead weight in your gut, sitting heavy and churning the already upset bile in your sensitive stomach. There wasn’t a direction you could turn that wasn’t the embodiment of wanton destruction and needless massacre. Trampled tents and belongings were either pulverized or in a state of disarray. Lifeless bodies like discarded toys amongst the rubble, flayed open and strewn across the wreckage as if tossed aside carelessly by their former masters. Charred remains smoldering in the sand, the smoke making your eyes sting almost as much as the odor, outer layer of crispy skin still bubbling long after the corpse was cooked. 

The cold distance of disassociation shifted into an unsettled queasiness at full force, giving you only moments to recognize the acidity racing up your throat before collapsing to your knees in the dirt, the bitter mess splattering between your hands unfortunately not out of place in this setting.

Maybe your reaction might have been different if you’d been forced to witness the fallout of that eerily similar night on the ferry. Maybe you wouldn’t be bent over hurling up rations behind a broken pillar that felt as collected as your emotions. But the souls of the deceased had been lost to the bottom of the Nile and you’d been spared the horrors up close. 

There was no such luck this time. 

Kyle must notice you first, calling out your name with rattled urgency as you rise on shaky legs from your hiding spot, grateful your clothes had at least been spared from your embarrassment. There was an instant relief at seeing your cousin standing before you, hands firmly grasping your shoulders keeping you at arms length while taking in your disheveled appearance for any sign of injury or impairment. At first glance, he didn’t seem any less worse for wear himself, something you were entirely grateful for.

“Jesus! You alright, dolly?” The hands on your shoulders slid to your upper arms, gentle stroking motions ironing out the lingering chill in your bones, concern evident in eyes that raked over your frame in detail.

You weren't confident with your nod, still processing the last few minutes of wanton bloodshed. Your cousin’s careful touch was a blessed balm for your struggling nerves, taking in a few deep breaths in time with his own as he worked to ground you. 

How someone could get used to this violent lifestyle you’d never know.

A startled gasp left your throat as you were promptly whirled around to face a fuming pair of cerulean orbs, blue waves turbulent as his emotions consumed him raw. You could almost be washed out to its churning Mediterranean Sea if not for the tight grip his fingers dug into your flesh, nostrils flaring, each word emphasized with a jarring shake. 

“Bloody fuckin– the hell ye doin’ out ‘ere, lass?! Huh?!”

The second time staring down the Scotsman’s wrath was no less intimidating than the first. Here you were smack dab in the middle of another hazardous situation - at first glance having apparently not learned your lesson from last time - surrounded by corpses that could’ve so easily been you. What savage fury had once been loosed upon the men responsible for this carnage was now pinpoint fixed on your trembling form. 

Lips parted like a gaping fish, opening and closing as you struggled to explain the circumstance that led you here under the riptide of his ire. He didn’t even allow you time to formulate a coherent response before he was promptly shoving your face in his chest, catching you off guard while bulky forearms wrapped around you to an almost crushing degree. Your hands braced on his sternum were the only things keeping your nose from getting smashed and giving you some minor space to breathe.

“Ye were supposed tae be safe, ya daft hen...” There was palpable anger in his tone, but also a weary frustration as he unconsciously squeezed you tighter. “Wha’ part of don’t move did ye not comprehend?”

“I’m sorry…” your voice soft, teetering on wobbly, “One of the camels–”

Johnny cut you off again with a growl. “Dunnae care about no damn beast, hen. Only you. Ah say stay, ye stay. Got it?”

There was nothing you could say to justify your actions to them. You hadn’t meant to end up in the thick of it, truly. Kyle might be your cousin, but there wasn’t an ounce of fighter in your side of the bloodline. If the adrenaline hadn’t kept you singularly focused on your goal of retrieving the runaway animal then maybe you’d have noticed its intended path earlier and could’ve turned tail, avoiding this whole fiasco.

Instead, you made yourself appear foolish, something that tugged on your chest with a bright blossom of shame.

Johnny realized himself at the sound of your unbidden quiet whimper, his stance relaxing marginally as he forced a steadying exhale from his lungs, tugging on his own reins. Hands turned from smothering to cradling, next words spoken tersely but with much more self-control.

“Ah cannae protect ye if I dunnae ken where ye are - neither of us can. Ah’m thinkin’ yer tucked away from danger when ye’ve really been right next tae me the whole time. Cannae so easily take the offensive when ah’m forced ta do the opposite. Make sense, lass?”

Humming your affirmation with another soft apology, you closed your eyes against the gruesome visions surrounding the three of you, his lessened grip allowing you to maneuver yourself more comfortably in his hold, arms reaching around his stocky build with fingers groping into the back of his shirt like a lifeline. Kyle’s tender touch joined his, knuckles stroking soothingly down the back of your arm as they each placed a chaste kiss to your crown.

His arms were still around you as the remaining members of the other expedition hesitantly approached, a pregnant pause as they shifted and looked between themselves awkwardly as if silently debating who amongst them would be the one to speak, eventually settling on Hutch.

“Whaddya fellas say to a small truce…?”

It was almost an insult when the offending camel came trotting back a short while later, as if it had merely gone for a casual midnight jaunt rather than almost costing you your life chasing after it in the first place.

What remaining tents could be salvaged were moved farther into the city towards your thankfully untouched encampment, the few remaining workers left behind to scavenge through the rubble and properly dispose of the bodies of their slain brethren. You held a slight disdain for the Americans sitting comfy on their cushions nearby, content to let the hired help do all the heavy lifting while they gloated in their sorting of their precious valuables, inspecting for any minor cracks and dents that could cost them even a fraction of a pound off their eventual asking price.

The majority of their group had just been killed in cold blood. The least they could’ve done was help pile the corpses, something even your boys had assisted with after seeing you back to your tent with pointed looks not to wander off this time. 

Besides their uncaring attitudes, it was less tense than you thought seated across the blazing fire from the others. Even Graves seemed to have been whipped into his best behavior after everything that went down, gracefully keeping his mouth shut and facial expression free of sneer. No one wanted to really converse, retreating to their own corners to try and forget the night's events.

“Bastards are like fucking cockroaches,” Roze spit out, violently ripping into a piece of jerky with her bared canines and more gusto than needed.

“Thought we taught them enough of a lesson last time,” chirped Oz with an air of self bloating. “Showed them they picked the wrong crowd to tango with.”

“They chased us off the boat, mate,” Kyle snarked as your pair returned from their labors, intent to settle down for the night. “Hate to break it to ya, but I don’t think we were the ones who made off with the upper hand there.”

Even the glowers directed towards him for contradicting their senseless beliefs didn’t stop your cousin from nicking a bottle of something strong from the Americans. 

“You mind?” Oz spoke up as Kyle brazenly yanked the dark glass from his hands, trotting over to plop down next to Johnny who’d taken up residence to your right.

“Call it a tithe for savin’ your arses and letting you stay the night over here with us.” The bottle uncorked with a coherent pop, a subtle fizz releasing into the dry air before Kyle gave it a quick swirl. Whatever contents he sniffed inside must’ve been good enough for his palate, tipping his head back to take the first swig with a satisfied groan, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

That reaction was good enough for you.

“For once, dear cousin, I find we are in agreement.” In lieu of a soothing cup of chamomile, if there was one thing you could use after the excitement of the day, it was a stiff drink to help clear out your ruminating mind. 

Leaning across the space with your arm outstretched for the bottle in question, he happily handed it over to you with an encouraging chuckle. “Good on ya, dolly.” 

Johnny merely raised an eyebrow at you in question, not having seen you as anything other than proper since your first introduction in the prison cell.

You ignored it as you inspected the label, squinting to read the smudged ink on crinkled paper, clearly water damaged from its previous dip in the river. Shiraz from a vineyard in Khollar; written out in simple scrawl. Peering inside you found a light pale liquid, a flavor profile comparable to that of an old sherry - dry and nutty. At first taste it parched your tongue, settling on the back of your soft palate, different from the sweeter aged varieties you preferred but not an unwelcome tang. 

If you could share a brandy with your cousin in your father’s old smoking room then you could certainly down a bottle of dry wine in an ancient forbidden city.

The evening progressed with not much shared conversation between the twelve or so of you still remaining, both sides opting to chatter amongst themselves despite the close proximity. It certainly wasn’t any skin off your back, losing yourself in the strong ABV as if it was a more succulent port, in a place far more rose tinted than here amongst the wafting smell of camels.

You rarely - if ever - allowed yourself to indulge, noting only a small handful of instances during the last decade you’d ventured past the point of tipsy over a game of cards with the other noble women of society. It was ‘unbecoming’ of a lady, a twilight activity best left to gentlemen's clubs where the rich white men of the ton congratulated themselves on being masters of the universe.

Whoever said men were the only ones permitted to have all the fun hadn’t been privy to the goings on behind closed parlour doors.

Still, you ended up just as sloshed as your cousin for a change, grateful for the way the warming alcohol buzzed in the back of your brain and loosened the tension from your shoulders. It was freeing having the ability to shut your brain off for a few scant hours, granting a short reprieve from the all too real worries the night sky had brought with it. You could forget all about the bloodstained granules you’d traipsed through on your way back to camp, trading coppery cabernet for nutty shiraz.

The pale waning moon hung bright in the dappled sky, nestled amongst a symphony of speckled jewel tones and painted galaxies that glistened like bioluminescent mermaid scales. A sight like no other; your wayward imagination was easily lost in the spiraling fractals of cosmology, floating above like kicked up stardust from the twirling of dancing deities. It was one of many things you’d come to appreciate outside the realm of the bright Egyptian cities. Too much of it was hidden by the industrial glow of a bustling population to be visible from the balcony of your estate. Out here with only flickering firelight to illuminate the space, the heavens were on naked display.

The rattled snoring from your cousin provided an added ambiance to an already jostled night, having curled up into a ball some minutes ago despite swearing to only resting his eyelids. Perhaps if he hadn’t needn’t to be saved only a few moments prior from a less-than-dignified face planting into the spitting firewood then you might’ve been more inclined to believe him, having yanked him backwards a hair’s breadth from the flames, his self imposed vertigo doing a better job impersonating a tilt-a-whirl than a man.

Johnny, meanwhile, hadn’t partaken despite the badgerings of your cousin. An oddity considering what you’d known of the man. Though, you supposed, someone needed to retain their sobriety should another event befall your troupe. 

Didn’t stop him from delighting in your own inebriated state, bullying your full attention now that the others had bid their goodnights.

“Yer oot yer face, lass,” he chuckled at your expense, his thumb wiping away a dribble of spilled wine from the corner of your mouth as you fought to keep in the intoxicating liquid from a previously made humorful comment. “Right mad wit’ it, ye are.”

You watched in a hazy rapture as he brought the thick digit to his mouth, tongue swirling around the calloused pad, lips sucking off the taste with a bit more zeal than necessary and far too much eye contact for what was appropriate.

Swallowing the shiraz in your mouth, you wiped your chin with the back of your hand before addressing his remarks. “Apologies for breaking the illusion of primness and propriety.”

“It’s yer own stomach ye’ll be boakin’ up,” he shrugged with an air of teasing, still keeping an eye on you should the urge come to pass. “Haven’t ya hurled enough fer one night, lass?”

You glowered over the rim of the bottle, face struggling to remain flat and unamused despite the twitch in your lips stating the contrary. “Low blow, MacTavish…”

“Ah, so it’s MacTavish when yer cross wit’ me, aye?” 

God, he was an insufferable bastard. Lounging there all smug with that mischievous twinkle and those prominent laugh lines. Why you just wanted to lean over and lick them clean off his stupid face–

No.

“You’ll hear me saying ‘Johnny’ again when you do something to earn the privilege back.”

“Oh, ah plan tae earn it alright.”

The subtle innuendo wasn’t at all subtle, but in your current state it was hard to distinguish between what was mere banter at this point and the fervid looks he’d been doling out since your second meeting.

You scrambled for a change of subject, hoping for a much needed distraction from the steady pulse between your thighs.

“You did something earlier that caught me by surprise. In the temple,” you prodded. “Curious for a catholic boy to worship at the altar of another god.” It was an honest question if not a bit ribbing, reflecting back to his quiet presence next to you in the inner sanctuary of Horus, head bowed in silent reverence towards a figure not affixed to a cross.

“Havnae been a good boy in a long time now, lass. War will do that ta ye.” The shrug he gave was nonchalant, as was his tone. But there was something strained to his words that spoke of deeper issues held towards his faith. “But ah see no harm in honorin’ a sacred space, ‘specially in such a desolate place like this. If the old gods wanna grant us safe passage fer a kindly visit then ah won't be sayin’ no tae a helpin’ hand.”

That hadn’t been the kind of diversion you’d been poking for, and you weren’t far gone enough in your cups to keep prying at an open wound. Somber didn’t suit him and you desired to have your playful companion back.

Instead, you set about grabbing at his weathered journal, snatching it up from its unattended spot near his bedroll in hopes to garner a more lighthearted reaction.

The leather binding was well worn, skin lightened where the natural oils of his hands rubbed off on the spots where he frequently cradled the book. There was nothing particularly remarkable about it - no engraving or even simple initials embedded on the spine marking it as his. But it was clear that it had gone with him to the edges of the world and back. Large water splotches warped the hide. Dark blood stains you couldn’t be sure were his. The curled edges of the pages crinkled and dirtied from muddy fingertips. You could even detect the faint smell of cigarette smoke and musky cologne, something similar to the fragrance currently attached to his skin.

“Gonna pry into mah deep dark secrets now, hen?” Johnny quirked a brow in intrigue, though he made no attempt to halt your endeavours.

“Well now it’s not nearly as much fun if you’re letting me do it,” you grumbled good naturedly, causing a light hearted chuckle from him before flipping to the first of many pages.

You expected to find clever writings and gossip upon turning the cover, illegible chicken scratch venting at the harshness of life abroad. Maybe a few rambles here and there at certain spectacles of particular enjoyment. What you hadn’t envisioned was a book filled with detailed illustrations and odd sketches that told the stories he'd witnessed without call for an alphabet; words made real taken shape on the page. Some were more juvenile in form - stick figures and rough outlines, half formed thoughts in a hurry - while others were artistic renderings he'd taken particular care with in their recreation. There was no need for written word when he so eloquently laid bare his inner thoughts with practiced technique of shading and highlighting.

“Not wha’ ya thought ye’d find, eh?”

The question itself was rhetorical. It was clear he’d known he would catch you off guard, possibly used to the same reaction garnered from others in the past. Could you blame them though? I mean, who would expect a stalwart soldier like him to possess such artistic skill?

But was that… that small shake in his voice when he cleared his throat… was he…?

Turning the pages, a London skyline greeted you, sketches of back home amongst civilian life, a cute critter peeking out near the bottom corner of the page you recognized as Julius from various trips to the picture palaces during sweltering English summers (you’d seen a handful of the Alice Comedies yourself, the mixture of live action and hand drawn animation enchantingly brought to life by a young artist named Walt).

There were a handful of times the journal was plucked from your fingers and turned from view, certain secrets best kept hidden as he searched for a more appropriate page to let you explore. Whether the contents were too personal for you to engage with or even something deemed too grotesque for your comparatively innocent gaze, you weren’t sure. But you didn’t push the subject when he handed the item back to you, accepting the bits of his private thoughts he offered up willingly and with a grateful smile.

The pair of you spent an unknown length of time combing through the catalogs of his adventures, continuing to sip at the dark glass bottle, though far more occupied with the details on the page to really maintain any sort of solid buzz. Some depictions required more elaboration, you pointing at different sketches with all the enthusiasm of a child being read aloud from a favored picture book, eyes bright and inviting of the stories he was all too happy to share.

The tranquility of a small farmhouse backdropped against a sea of rolling meadows particularly captured your attention. It reminded you far too much of your youth spent exploring the wilds beyond your cousin’s childhood abode. “And this one? Where was this sketched?”

Wistful pride lit him from within. “That there’s mah home, lass.”

You inspected the illustration a bit more thoroughly at the revelation, brushing careful fingertips over the smudged graphite, imagining the scene with brighter colors and a warm gentle breeze rustling the long wild grassland. A modest barn was implied towards the west end of the property, the shadows of a fence winding a perimeter. Flipping to the backside of the parchment revealed the scene in more detail, tools stacked neatly along the inside of an open swing door, highland cattle grazing amongst the feed troughs within the confines of their pen. 

A bust of the fluffy beast stared you head on with hairy concealed eyes on the accompanying page, bumpy wet nose glistening and mouth open mid chew of its sweet herby meal. You could imagine long hours spent caring for its herd, the scritches his bushy mane must’ve received.

“Grew up a country boy, huh?”

“Ah ken mah way ‘round a tractor,” came the boasted reply.

You snorted. “Well, aren't you just rich.”

Johnny patted the small leather pouch secured to his belt, bursting with coin from your early morning victory and kept safe on his person. “Ah’ve earned mah keep.”

Lingering over the page a bit longer, you unexpectedly changed course, flipping from the very back of the journal, curious to see his most recent works. “Let’s see what you’ve been making of our current adventure, shall we?”

Blank pages waiting to be filled gave way to remarkable hieroglyphics embedded in your retinas as clear as day on the page before you, given far more detail than you would have otherwise given him credit for. There was no need for going back to create charcoal rubbings of the reliefs when you had all you needed right here on the page. Skimming further uncovered lifelike renditions of various statues housed within. 

Giant obelisks outside the temple of Hathor. A bust of Amun-Ra. The remains of the boat docks. Tiny replicas of ivory treasures. Hatshepsut’s stone sarcophagus. Pharaonic headdresses. A small ceremonial altar.

When had he even had time to put pencil to paper?!

“Jesus Johnny–”

“There we go,” he interjected with a smirk at the return of his name, though you continued unimpeded.

“–do you have a photographic memory or something?! These carvings are immensely accurate for someone who can’t even read the language!”

“Not quite tha’ remarkable unfortunately,” he added. “Cannae seem tae recall the direction some of ‘em were facin’. Ah ken that’s important tae the syntax.”

“Damn near close enough…” you trailed off, muttering under your breath. It spoke volumes that you were having no trouble at all forming sentence structures from what little he had jotted down. The fact that he could remember the preserved paintings better than you… 

“All this from memory…”

“Gotta have a good eye fer detail if ye dunnae wanna get killed,” he explained. 

You hummed at his words. “Was wondering why a soldier like yourself had been taking such an interest.”

“Ah may be a brute, lass, but ah ken art when ah see it.”

You went unnaturally still halfway through flipping the page. Breath caught in your throat like a mouse in a cage, heart pounding in your ears drowning out the grumbled snorings of present company. You wondered at the drawing that took up the full span of parchment. Of all the things for him to–

A figure. 

You.

You’d seen others littered across his journal; learned their names and heard their stories. Comrades in arms, random strangers in pubs. An older woman who shared his same broad nose. 

But this was different. 

There was no mistaking the care and attention that went into creating the likeness of the moment. You recalled sitting by the fire the other night, the long winded conversation between you, sitting position reflected on the paper from his vantage point. At the time you’d assumed his pencil had been scrawling out notes - perhaps quiet confessions of the encounters that turned this expedition into something very different. Words that if spoken aloud and given life would reveal a man who regretted stepping foot outside his cell.

Who knew this admission would be the most damning of all.

“...you drew me?”

“Like ah said.” 

Ah ken art when ah see it.

Words escaped you at that. What were you supposed to say when faced with such a declaration? Thank you didn’t seem right, but making no comment at all felt even worse. 

It didn’t help that even in your inebriated condition the burn of his stare sent scorch marks flaring across your cheek like a flash grenade. Caught up in the well of emotions at the etherealness he used to portray you, you all at once became hyper aware of the scant few inches separating you and him, all but in his lap as he at some point scooted closer to peer over your shoulder.

Johnny smoothly pulled the remaining alcohol from your grasp, trading a heavy waterskin for your near-empty bottle of wine with only slight fuss from you at the loss. “C’mon, m’eudail. Let’s get ye soberin’ up so yer not dead on yer feet come mornin’.”

“That’s the third time you’ve called me that,” you remarked, handing the pouch back over after a few refreshing gulps. “May-doll. What’s it mean?”

“Means yer a right pain in the arse.”

You heavily considered calling his bluff, but on the off chance you were wrong you didn’t need to look any more stupid than the nickname implied. “To be expected from such a harsh dialect,” you countered instead.

There was that glimmer of trouble again. “Ye think mah native tongue barbaric, lass?”

“Well it’s certainly not a romance language,” you chuckled in response, rising to your feet and nearly tipping ass over tea kettle until his firm grip yanked and manhandled you right into his lap. It was on the tip of your tongue to break out in a fit of giggles at your clumsiness, but one look from him with those deep passionate eyes kept you spellbound and tongue tied in a chinese knot.

“Ye want a gent that’s soft and eloquent, or a man who kens how tae get the job done?”

The heated furnace in your belly blossomed at the suggestion in his words. While your maidenhead was still intact, by no means were you a stranger to the pleasures one could bring themselves in the secret of the night. Your fingers knew best the way your body curved and constricted around delicate digits. Those same feelings stirred like a famished beast, gulping down thick buckets of desire, your fervent gaze made bolder by shiraz darting briefly down to his lips in what you hoped was quick enough to sneak past his purview. 

The way his pupils dilated told you you'd failed. 

“How about a man who can do both? Does the art of courtship die with the fall of chivalry?”

A calloused hand stroked over your face, the rough pad of his thumb brushing over the sliver of skin beneath your bottom lip. He held your chin the way you held your breath as he leaned forward to softly graze his nose against yours. There was no way he didn’t hear your heart pounding out of your chest, the way your lungs rapidly gulped in shallow gasps of air. How you had to adjust your legs to take the edge off the burn.

His words were a mere whisper against your lips, tasting his breath as melodic phrases flowed from a silver dipped tongue. “Ged nach eil sinn fhathast pòsd’ tha mi'n dòchas gum bi. Fhad’ ’s a mhaireas mo dhà dhòrn cha bhith lòn oirnn a dhìth.”

Johnny must be one of the fae, you surmised, the way he ensnares you so easily like a siren’s call with foreign words only your heart gleans the meaning of. The vocalizations are rough - yet delicate and sensual in the enchanting lilt of his homeland. There’s witchcraft winding its way around your spirit, sent from heather covered mountains and babbling brooks; crafted by dwarves and perfected in sacred mushroom circles. It’s the only logical reason as to why eyes as soft as his have taken complete control over the lifeblood thrumming in your veins.

There’s a moment where you’re all but certain you’ll meet in the middle, where the dance the two of you have been skirting around will finally come to a head and you discover how much sweeter the shiraz is when tasted from his mouth. 

But when his lips settle on your brow, you fight not to let the disappointment show. 

“Off tae bed wit’ ye, lass,” he murmurs softly, “dunnae want yer cousin tae skelp me fer keepin’ ye up too late.”

°•. ✿ .•°.•° ✿ °•.°•. ✿ .•°.•° ✿ °•.°•. ✿ .•°

<< ✿ Previous ✿ <<

[alynnl]

My Objection. (Ace Attorney: Justice for All Ramble)

What I’m about to say is my opinion based off my gaming experience in Ace Attorney. My very biased opinion ahead.

So I have seen one opinion that have been shared by a great deal of the Ace Attorney fandom that I respectfully disagree with.

“Justice for All is one of the worst and/or weakest entries into the series.”

I have been around the internet enough to know that a great deal of the fandom doesn’t like this game as much as the others.  However, I see its value as a bridge between Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney and Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations.  And I also see the overarching themes Justice for All was going for, and acknowledge the efforts to try and show it.

It’s about grief.

Phoenix Wright experiences the apparent loss of his dearest friend Miles Edgeworth and he struggles to cope with it, being unable to even speak his name.  Maya Fey learns that her aunt Morgan was behind a conspiracy to frame her for murder and that her innocent little cousin, Pearl is the only living family she has left.  Franziska von Karma takes out her anger on Phoenix in the courtroom, finding no other way to cope with the empty void left behind by her father Manfred and adopted brother Miles than to secure an absolute victory.  Mimi Miney, Acro and Adrian Andrews all go to extremes (committing or planning to commit crimes) because they lost someone near and dear to their hearts.

It's about purpose.

Phoenix has to really think about who he is, what he's doing with his life, and why when his resolve is tested. Edgeworth states with his words and actions why he stands in the courtroom after a whole year of being absent. Franziska has to rethink her own life in the ending scenes, when she's clearly shown that there is no such thing as a flawless trial. Detective Gumshoe chooses to keep investigating the final case despite (temporarily) losing his job because that's what he feels is right.

It’s about loyalty and trust.

Gumshoe is willing to help Phoenix and Maya on all their investigations, despite being on the prosecution’s side.  Maya trusts Phoenix both times she ends up in trouble. Phoenix trusts the advice of his mentor, Mia as she speaks through Maya and Pearl.  It’s a small moment, but Gumshoe is the first person Edgeworth speaks to, letting the detective know he’s alive and he’s been watching the events that play out in court from a distance.  There’s a major moment where Phoenix meets Edgeworth outside the courtroom, and they cooperate inside of court to make the trial as long as possible to help Maya when she’s taken hostage. Even Franziska comes through for Phoenix and Edgeworth when all seems lost, and they trust that she has brought important evidence to court to truly turn the trial around.

With themes like these (and possibly others I may have overlooked, as I am going completely by memory), I can say that Justice for All is a solid entry in the Ace Attorney series. It shows character and relationship development that was interesting and made sense for the situations the cast was faced with. It was a great story to follow in my first play through of it, and I'm actually curious to see how well it holds up in a later replay where I know all the plot twists.

If you read this far, thank you for hearing me out. What was about to be a rant of fiery passion turned into my gushing about just one part of my newest gaming obsession. I will probably have many more thoughts going forward, since Ace Attorney's writing lends itself to that so well!

[sleepinglionhearts]

Kana may, in fact, be named Kana because it is a simple name but also I know where I started, I'm borrowing that name with great respect u___u

[the-holy-ghosted]

he probably broke up a few fights between fitz and crozier right? probably? that's the only excuse i have for this

[reki-of-the-valley]

You Are in Love

Read it on AO3 here!

1 - You Are in Love

It’s the way Langa is crouched, the way his weight is shifted forward to his toes. It’s the way he smiles, the way his fingers fiddle with the buttons of the little pink coat. It’s the way Chihiro is standing as straight as she can, her chin tilted up. It’s the way the scene plays out, the way Langa, Langa who had always been so wary around the twins, now seems so comfortable. It’s as if he’d always been here, always been in this entrance, always helping around the Kyan household. It’s the way he fits in so well, as if he has always been a part of this family.

“Need help, Reki?”

Reki has to shake himself out of his trance, the rest of the world coming back to him. Chihiro is there, slipping her shoes on while Nanaka is waiting by the door, a grin that matches Reki’s. The sun is high, rays streaming through the glass panels of the door. The weather is perfect for a walk with the girls to the ice cream parlor; not too warm, but still not cool enough to not want ice cream. And the girls can’t wait, Nanaka already rambling away about all the ice cream flavors she wants to try.

“Well?”

A breath catches in Reki’s throat as Langa stands there, his fingers twisting around the strings of his yellow hoodie. His smile is soft, just like when he had been buttoning up Chihiro’s coat. There’s a peek of his teeth, pretty and white, between his ever so slightly parted lips. And the sunshine catches in the blue of his eyes, leaving them with a shimmer Reki’s never seen before. But there’s no time to linger on that, not when Nanaka’s fingers curl around Reki’s.

Everything goes fast from there: a sweater hastily thrown over his hoodie, the back of his shoe squashed under the weight of his heel, a wallet grabbed from the top of the show cabinet. Everything goes so fast: Nanaka and Chihiro running ahead, the path already memorized, the sound of Langa’s laughter filling the autumn air, another joke breaking up his laughter. If this is what it means to have a normal life, Reki’s ready for it. He doesn’t need the uncertainty that the past had handed him. He doesn’t need any of that, not when he can have this.

“Really, Reki, we can stop for a second to let you put your shoes on properly.”

“It’s fine, man. Anyway, the twins would kill me if I made them wait any longer.”

Langa shrugs before turning away from Reki. He looks ahead, hands in his pockets as he kicks a stone along the road. He looks older like that, his eyes riveted on the two girls ahead of them. He looks older like this, reminding them to not run too far head and to stay together. He looks older; his hair has grown a little, almost brushing his shoulders now, and his jaw seems sharper than it had before. His bare arms, they seem stronger, a little more toned. Maybe it’s from all the lifting they’ve been doing at work, from all those boxes that need to be pulled from the back to the front of the shop. Reki isn’t sure why he’s noticing all of this now, noticing the curve of Langa’s nose, the scabs by his ear, the squareness of his shoulders. Reki isn’t sure why he’s noticing any of this, things that have always been there. But these observations weight heavy on Reki’s chest. They weight heavy, but he doesn’t dare say anything. He can’t break the silence, not now.

Langa’s shoulder brushes against Reki’s, drawing his attention to something other than Langa’s build. It brings him to his eyes, always bluer than the ocean on the horizon, to his nose, pointing ahead, to his lips, tugged into a smile. Then, words spill, always in that velvety voice of his.

“Look up.”

And Reki complies; he always does.

It’s there, beautiful as ever. The sun sets, slow and careful. It’s gentle as it finds its way into the water, reds and oranges and purples swirling in the waves that crash over one another. The rays are tentative, as if afraid to break something that’s new yet has always been there. The sun does as it always has; it doesn’t change and it never will, but today, it feels different. It seems slower as it falls, almost as if it were asking for the ocean’s permission, asking the water to catch it. Will the ocean catch the sun? Will it hold on to every ray, cherish the warmth they provide? Reki hopes it will; he hasn’t known a better pair than bright sunshine and gentle waters. 

The ocean is gentle as the waves intertwine with the rays of sunshine. And as Langa looks back at Reki, that smile so soft as his pinkie locks with Reki’s, Reki knows he’ll be caught. He knows this is right; nothing has been broken, not now, not ever. This is the way they were meant to find each other. This is the way the universe had set them up: strangers, friends, this. This is what Reki has always dreamed of; this is what he wants; this is what he needs.

“C’mon,” a little tug from Langa, his fingers shifting to find their home between Reki’s, “we should hurry before the twins order the entire store to go.”

---

2 - He Is in Love

The morning is quiet, rays of sunlight filtered through the crack to the curtains. Still, the room is dark, and it’s colder than what Reki is used to. He has to pull the blanket up to his neck rather than have it bunched up at his ankles like he’s used to. And when he rolls over, he knows why.

The bed isn’t his. The room either, even if bits of him hang on the walls and sit on the shelves. He finds pieces of himself in the space between these four walls, but it’s still not his space, at least not completely his. It’s Langa’s room, so much is obvious as he sits up in the otherwise empty bed. It’s not crowded enough to be his own; the same could be said about the air that hangs in the apartment, nothing but distant chatter ringing in Reki’s ears. It’s missing the chaos of his house, the screaming and the tumbling of siblings first thing in the morning.

It’s almost strange walking through the small apartment. Reki knows the place like the back of his hand, but it’s still so disorienting to wake up in someone else’s bed, even if it’s far from the first time it has happened. It’s like walking through the streets of a new city; it’s so similar to home, and yet, it’s nothing like it. But when he finally steps into the kitchen, when he’s hit with that smell of smoke and the sound of curses, Reki knows he’s home. He’s home, and he doesn’t want to be anywhere else.

“Shit, shit, shit.”

It’s funny to see Langa like this, picking at the toaster. Langa, who’s usually so calm and composed, he’s so far from that perfect image Reki had once had of him. Now, in the morning light of reality, Langa’s just like any other dork who can’t cook to save his life. He’s ridiculous as he curses at the toast, if it can even be called that. It’s so burnt, so scorched, that Reki wonders if there’s any bread left under that crust of char.

One thing’s for certain: he could not be paid enough to eat that monstrosity.

“Stop laughing!”

Blue eyes are wide, staring at Reki as he doubles down laughing. How can he not laugh? How can he stay serious at the face Langa is making at him? How can he ever stop laughing when he’s with Langa, the same Langa so many people misinterpreted? How can Reki ever keep his laughter to himself when he gets this Langa, Langa who isn’t a prince, Langa who isn’t distant and mysterious? How is he to not laugh and grin when he has Langa, his Langa, goofy and dorky and adorable?

“How did you manage to burn your toast in a toaster, dude?”

The bubbling laughter slowly dies down, falling to a giggle, then a chuckle, before ending in a simply grin. It’s hard to stop smiling around Langa, but thankfully, he doesn’t ask Reki to wipe the look off his face. If anything, he joins him despite biting his lip, trying his best to conceal the sheepish smile.

“I… I forgot it.”

“Did’ya space out again?”

Langa huffs, pushing the toast filled plate across the counter. It’s so strange seeing all these emotions play on Langa’s face, emotions Reki didn’t even know him capable of. They play like a movie on Langa’s face, jumping from one scene to another. Frustration, embarrassment, dejection, and something new, something strange as he gets closer to Reki.

There’s a glisten in his eyes, bluer than Reki’s ever seen them. They almost sparkle under the soft lighting of the kitchen. That look, it’s so far from that night, the one Reki wakes up gasping from. They’re so far from that night, the night Reki thought he had lost it all. Now, they have it all. Everything that had haunted Reki for weeks, it has vanished. That night, it was a lifetime ago, an age Reki barely remembers anymore. All that matters is here, it’s now.

“You look cute in that.”

It’s a surprise, the arms around Reki’s waist and the compliment to his ear. It’s not something he’s used to, especially not from Langa. Sure, he’s always been forward, but still, Reki isn’t used to this type of forward. He’s not quite used to the hugs, the flirting, the sappiness. He may get a Langa very few know of, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t still retain the old Langa, the public Langa, the Langa that feels so unobtainable.

“Hope you like it, it’s literally your shirt.”

The chuckle is cute as Langa drops his head onto Reki’s shoulder. So, he’s given up on trying to cook; maybe they can go out for breakfast, or better yet, they can order something in. And maybe they should get something for Nanako; she shouldn’t be out for too long, not on a Sunday. But while she’s gone, well…

It’s sweet, the taste of Langa’s lips against Reki’s. Really, there isn’t much that can compare to this, to the way Langa smiles into the kisses, almost laughing into them. And with every kiss, Reki feels the butterflies erupt from their cocoons; he feels the flutter in his lungs and chest. Kisses from Langa wasn’t something Reki had ever expected, but now, he doesn’t think he can go without them.

One leads to another and another after that. They’re dizzying, leaving him lightheaded as he wraps his arms around Langa’s neck to steady himself. The world spins, fades, and leaves nothing but Langa and his sweetness. Maybe it’s the honey on his lips, or the chocolate on his tongue, but Reki’s pretty sure it’s just Langa. That’s just what Langa tastes like; sweet and addictive.

“Reki…”

His voice is low, raspy almost. Maybe he’s also breathless from the kisses, a little too caught up in the moment. Or maybe that’s just the way Langa sounds after he’s been kissed senseless; Reki isn’t proud to admit it, but stopping was a little more difficult than he had anticipated. But when Langa drops his head back into the crook of Reki’s neck, the world returns, colors other than blue reappearing around him.

“Reki, you’re my best friend, you know that, right?”

Such a statement is nothing new to Reki, but hearing it now of all times, it does something to him. He isn’t sure what it is, but he feels the pang in his chest. It’s nothing like the butterflies he had felt. It’s nothing like that. This pang, it means something else. He doesn’t feel lighter from the words, but at the same time, it’s lifts something that he hadn’t known was weighing him down.

This feeling, this reminder, it means everything to Reki. It’s everything to Reki because it means that every ghost that had once haunted him, that every insecurity that had locked into his closet, they fade. They fade because they mean nothing now. No fear can be greater than this statement. Nothing can be greater than knowing that he’s not alone. Because now, from now until the end of forever, Langa will be there. Langa will stand by him, never leaving him to face his demons alone.

The hug is automatic. There is no other possible response to the statement. There’s nothing else he can do besides holding Langa close to his chest, keep him where he wants him. A hug and a nod are all Reki can manage, and it’s enough. It’s enough for Langa to know it too. It’s enough.

---

3 - True Love

The skatepark is empty besides the two boards left unattended by a rail. There’s not a soul other than the two boys, legs dangling off the back of the ramp, a water bottle to their left and a carton of fries between them. They’re silent, each scrolling on their phone as they pick absent-mindedly at their food. Another Friday afternoon, just like so many others.

Or at least, it should be like every other Friday. There’s nothing different, at least, not on the surface. They’re in their spot, far from the rest of the world. It’s just them, as always, but there’s something weighing down on Reki. There’s something that lingers in the air, something that’s been choking him up all day. It’s there, he knows it, he just doesn’t know how to address it. Talking about things that aren’t skating, it’s not easy, not for Reki.

A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth as he swipes through his camera roll. Every one of them holds a memory, usually one that has to do with Langa. There’s a selfie, or two, or three, or twelve. There’s a video of Langa skating, or, once again, twelve. And there are pictures of the sunset, of a stray cat, of birds in the sky, yet they still remind him of Langa. He can hear Langa through the pictures, hear his laughter, hear his chatter, hear his breathing. Because Langa is in every one of these pictures, whether he’s visible or not. He’s in every single picture, in every memory Reki holds of the past year or so. Langa, Reki realizes, has become a staple of his life, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. Especially not when Langa’s head is dropping onto his shoulder, blue eyes pointed up at him.

“Whatcha looking at?”

“Just going through my pictures, see what I can delete.”

Reki knows he won’t be deleting anything; he doesn’t want to forget any of his moments with Langa. He wants to keep building these moments, not get rid of them. But saying that out loud, who knows what kind of waterfall of words would spill from his mouth afterwards. And he can’t risk that. Not before he’s figured out exactly how he wants to say it. These words, he can’t mess them up. They need to be perfect. So, until then, they will be silent.

The evening goes by as it always does: a few tricks here and there, a lot of laughing, a few scraped knees and palms. It’s another Friday evening, just like so many others. It’s another Friday evening, until they head home, still in silence.

“Reki, is everything alright?”

Reki hums as he readjusts his bag on his shoulders.

“You just…” Langa pauses, stopping under a streetlamp. “You haven’t talked much today. So… is everything alright?”  

Reki wants nothing more than to wipe away the worry that coats the blue of Langa’s eyes. He wants nothing more than to replace it with their usual shine, the one paired with the brightest grin Reki’s ever known. He wants nothing more than Langa’s happiness; if he could go another lifetime without ever having to worry, that would be how Reki would want it. He wants to remember Langa’s smile, memorize the curve of his lips and the creases at the corner of his eyes. None of that worrying that pulls his features in all the wrong ways.

“Don’t worry, dude. Everything’s perfect. Just been a long day, y’know?”

Langa nods, but he shows no sign of continuing his way down the road. He nods, but he expects more. He wants Reki to talk, to release whatever it is he’s holding in his heart. He wants Reki to talk, to spill, to let it all out. And even if it’s ugly, Reki knows Langa will take it. Even if it’s far from perfect, Reki knows Langa will smile, grin even, as he drinks Reki’s every syllable.

“Well, I mean…”

They hear it in the silence, the wait of Reki’s unspoken words. The silent words, they hang heavy in the air. And the more Langa stares, the more Langa waits with that beautiful look upon his face, the more Reki hesitates to say it. It won’t break them, far from that, but being the first to vocalize it, being the first to put it out there, it’s scary. It could ignite a fire, a flame that could leave a trail of beauty for Reki to memorize on Langa’s face and body, but it might also be a flame that burns the whole thing down. If he does this wrong, who knows what the future will look like for them.

Perhaps it would have been better if Reki had been a better liar, better at concealing the feelings fluttering in his heart. If he had been able to pretend there was nothing there, or pretend he didn’t expect the words to come to him first before parroting them back, maybe he wouldn’t have found himself in this situation. But if he had been better at conceal his feelings, at keeping them close to his chest rather than out for the world to see, then maybe he wouldn’t have found himself under the brightest moon, standing in front of the prettiest boy he’d ever seen. If he had been different, then maybe he wouldn’t be here today. He wouldn’t be standing in front of a boy whose eyes are filled with beauty and adoration, lacing their fingers together.

“I guess I just wanted to say…”

It’s now, or it’s never, Reki knows that. He’s started. He can’t stop.

“I’ve actually been thinking so much about this lately. Like, I can’t sleep from how much I think about it. So, like…”

Langa stares in anticipation, his shoulders caving inwards as his fingers tighten around Reki’s. He’s biting back a smile, Reki knows this. Maybe Langa’s just as bad at this as he is.

“Langa.”

He’s shaking. Or maybe it’s Langa who’s shaking. Or maybe they’re both shaking. Reki can’t tell. He doesn’t care.

“Langa, I love you.”

[unknownarmageddon]

Just so you know Horror x Killer’s ship name would be Thriller

[merge-conflict]

Richard Siken - Litany In Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out

[theworldisabrokenbonebutitishome]

Kang Yo Han is the walking embodiment of I'm Not Okay (I Promise) and relates to Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge far more than is healthy. In this essay I will-

[mythicalwatch101]

HELLO. I AM HERE TO TALK ABOUT KROMER/CANTO 3

kromie is one of my Favorite characters Of All Time and if i see one more person horribly misinterpret her & her story & her motivations i am for real going to distort

FIRST AND FOREMOST

CANTO 3 ISN'T ABOUT ABLEISM

(it's not about racism either. she's not "cyborg racist". god damn it.)

canto 3 is about

religious extremism & societal pressure

PROSTHETICS IN THE CITY ≠ DISABILITY

prosthetics in the pm world are pretty obviously NOT the same as prosthetics in our world, and using them to point towards kromer being ableist is one of the weakest arguments i have ever seen in my entire life. give me ONE piece of evidence of kromer being ableist that doesn't mention prosthetics i fucking dare you

look at that. it's not about needing a missing arm replaced, or legs that you can walk on; it's about doing away with all of the inefficiencies of a flesh and blood body. you can get so much more work done if you don't need to eat or sleep!

unfortunately, there are many ways to be ableist and if she truly was, to the point where it was an important part of her character with an entire canto centered around it (like hating pm-prosthetics is), then i feel like maybe

just maybe

she would express this in other ways

that don’t involve slaughtering people that just happen to be made of metal.

just a thought.

which brings me to my next point

Prosthetics in the City are about class and money and the societal pressure i mentioned earlier

UNNECESSARY PRESSURE TO CONFORM TO THE AESTHETIC

WORTHLESS SURGERIES THAT POOR PEOPLE CAN’T AFFORD AND YET FEEL THE NEED TO GET ANYWAY

SINCLAIR’S BODILY AUTONOMY BEING STRIPPED AWAY FROM HIM SO THAT HE MATCHES HIS FAMILY

sinclair's family even turned their DOG into a robot for god's sake

it's a fad! it's cool to turn yourself into a robot! it's the new thing everyone is doing, so now you have to do it too to fit in with everyone else! even sinclair himself acknowledges this when talking about his family

also adding a ruina screenshot from this post i saw a while ago that i think you all should read

was hesitant to include it because i wanted to make my point without dragging ruina into this, to prove that you don't NEED the context from ruina to understand kromer's beliefs and motivations, but like. look at this. what the fuck.

"adjust emotions" "completely shut off desires" look me in the eyes and tell me this has ANYTHING to do with disability. i dare you. this is some rich people shit

prosthetics are a LUXURY for some, and a TOOL for others; something for rich people to enjoy, and for poor people to either get a shitty version of, or to sell their soul to afford, so that they can survive in the capitalist's dream world! kind of reminds me of cars, actually

(the extra info abt prosthetics from ruina helps, but as someone who has mostly only played limbus & doesn’t have the full context of the other games, it’s obvious even to me that they're not a disability thing)

in conclusion;

kromer is not ableist

she just really really really likes flesh and is super weird about it

to paraphrase/add to something someone said in that post i linked earlier: the district has an "ideal form" for the human body, and kromer has an "ideal form" for the human body, but these "ideal forms" are not the same

she prefers the human body the way it is, and when she sees this "ideal form" that's like the exact opposite of HER "ideal form" starting to take over, she resorts to being a violent bloodthirsty cult leader about it because she sucks ass and is incapable of being normal

she is a bad person and you are allowed to hate her ofc but please for the love of god hate her for something she’s actually done. stop making shit up

[possamble]

jesus im backed up on work

[torterragarden]

My unpopular opinion: The MK community has always had a huge issue w/ how it treats women, but I think it's gotten worse with MK1(2). The tags are filled to the brim with stuff of the men but hardly anything with women. Just the occasional Mileena post.

Maybe it's just me and my own experience, but before this game, there was WAY more ppl loving the ladies than now

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

I've felt that too. It's very typical of fandom but somehow it feels especially egregious this time and I wasn't sure if that was just me. Like it's a struggle to find any content that isn't about male characters in some way. Mileena has the most but it's still not even that much. And yeah people can do what they want and talk about the characters they like I'm not trying to stop them (and it's not like I couldn't make my own content) but like. It's frustrating is all. And transparent

[indecisive-dizzy]

why brain whyyyy

i just want to read a book why must it make me paranoid?? I want to Sleep 😭

[memorys-skyscraper]

while watching someone's y7 playthrough it struck me just how moron-heavy the series is as a whole, so i thought itd be fun to rank the relative intelligence of a sampling of characters and i came up with this

[argcicle]

i’m staring desolately at a wall right now. why are minecraft men so sad and wet and cat

[blewthecandleout]

Margaret Atwood, You are Happy (1974) / The North American Eras Tour, 2023

gif credit @julisworking