#I had the worst friend breakup of my life with the woman in the omega shirt

[frances-baby-houseman]

TWENTY YEARS AGO TODAY, Northwestern beat Ohio State for the first and only time in our matchup history. I do not really care about football, I didn't really care about football when I was in school, but this game was HUGE. NU didn't have lights in our stadium so almost all of our games were during the day, but they brought in lights for this one and we painted shirts ("AXO ❤️ NORTHWESTERN, I was the O in northwestern) and stood at the gates so we could be in the front row of the student section. It was a CRAZY exciting game-- it turned over several times and we won in overtime. People still talk about it!! A great win against any team but ESPECIALLY Ohio State, mortal enemy of every team in the Big 10 (back when 10 actually meant something.)

Here I am with my sorority sisters at the gates to the stadium waiting to run to the student section:

and here we are on TV screaming when we won the game! I'm in the bottom left of the screen with the white arm, my friend Kristin (center above) is in the purple sweatshirt:

Right after this we rushed the field and it ruined everyone's shoes and long long jeans. I can't believe this was 20 years ago! What a time! Go 'Cats!

[jordan202]

15x10 Review

At your demand, here it is!  Since you guys have flooded my inbox with requests, and I am now going to flood your timeline by replying to each one muahaha.

I have to say, I didn’t have many expectations going into the episode, which turned out to be great, because I was very positively surprised, especially with the finale(s). Let’s go through that.

Ok so, there is an established tendency in Grey’s to center subplots of an episode around the same common theme. For me, this episode was entirely focused on choices.

Catherine dealt with her choice to hide her cancer from her family and loved ones.

Meredith continued with her saga and her unavoidable upcoming choice between DeLuca and DeLink.

Bailey and Webber chose not to allow their mental health issues to dictate who they are.

Glasses chose to be Lenses.

Owen chose Amelia.

And I made my choice too.

 I will explain that better! Click on the expand button and join me on the ride!

The episode picks up in the immediate aftermath of the last installment. Tom is asking for Amelia’s help in coming up with a treatment plan for Catherine’s tumor, but it’s her mind isn’t very focused. She is tearing up, clearly distressed by the (IMO) very mature decision she and Owen just made to give each other time to process what’s going on. It’s not necessarily a breakup, more like a timeout to get your head out of the water and see things in a different perspective.

What I really liked about this scene was how obviously affected Amelia was. None of us like to see her suffering, of course, but it was a remarkable display of affection and longing for the man she loves, and the relationship she is so invested in. I remember last season one of my main criticisms about the way they were writing Amelia was that they gave a lot of focus to the repercussions of her post-tumor status at the workplace, but gave little room to her personal life. We saw how the tumor affected Amelia’s work skills, but we rarely got to see how her emotions were in her journey to figure out who was sans tumor.

This season however we are getting a full plate of Amelia’s feelings and thoughts, and so far I like this feast. I like that her vulnerable side is again at the table, because this is a character we can absolutely relate to.

Meanwhile, we see Teddy pursuing a job, so she of course, went to Bailey. Bailey is someone I used to admire a lot in the first seasons, but have come to quite dislike as the seasons progressed. I have to say though, she absolutely nailed it with her reaction to Teddy’s pregnancy. To me, her body language was saying “Oh, so you got yourself in this complicated situation, moved here at your own will without even bothering to check if you’d be welcome first, and now you’re acting like you’re a victim to your own demise? Yeah, I am not interested in hearing about that. Go find someone else to whine to.”

Bailey walking out of the situation is exactly what I felt like doing when I first learned about this storyline. It just seems excessively contrived, unnecessary, avoidable and absolutely unwelcome. No one needed that drama. No one.

But since the writers apparently weren’t done making Teddy even more of a pity case than she already has become, we had to witness her insulting both Maggie and Karev (probably the two people more like to back Amelia after Owen).

What bothered me about this moment isn’t the fact that Teddy was dumb enough to change her entire life without checking first. It wasn’t even the fact that she quit her job and changed continents to pursue a guy who clearly doesn’t want to be with her, and now acts like she is being demonized because she can’t get what she wants. It’s rather the way she arrogantly puts herself above others and talks down on people she doesn’t even know.

Owen appears and somehow, he looks hot and manly even when wiping his runny nose. Typical Owen to work even when he has the flu (as a pediatric intesivist, I wonder who gave them the flu in the first place?) That’s right, I am looking at you, you daycare virus carrying little monster.

Owen then learns that while Seattle has many hospitals, Teddy has chosen to work at the exact place he is in. Because that won’t make everything even more complicated, right? But apparently, as every other decision that Teddy makes that affects him too, he is not consulted and is the last one to find out. And whereas Owen has no say in where Teddy decides to work or not, her lack of courtesy and consideration for the way her decisions are affecting his life becomes quite highlighted here.

“Do you know that Alex Karev is interim chief?”

Uh, no Teddy, he doesn’t. He’s only been running a department at the hospital for a decade now, but has no idea who is in charge and who he should report to. HEHEHEHE 

Teddy is upset that Owen is angry with her, and she tells him that the only reason why she changed her entire life was FOR HIM. That’s right, FOR HIM. She immediately follows it with a “so that you could be a part of the baby’s life”. And I know this was not intentional, but talk about a Freudian slip. I will explain.

Never since this entire thing began (and this is one of the main reasons why I have a beef with this arc and the hypocrisy of the writers by saying they are not “making a triangle”, “putting woman against woman”, etc) Teddy has never really made it about the child. Instead, this is all about herself. About the sacrifices she’s done, what she wants, what’s better for herself. I didn’t see her making one decision based on what’s best for the baby. Initially, she was worried about how Owen would receive the news, worried that he might “claim her” for the wrong reasons, worried that she might be vilanized, etc. Aside from the first moment we found out she was pregnant, I haven’t seen Teddy expressing joy or taking comfort in the fact she is having a baby, or making it about the baby. By saying she “the entire reason I upended my entire life was for you,” to Owen, she is confirming with words what we’ve seen her doing with actions, which is pursuing Owen despite the fact he was horrible to her in Germany, pretty much ignored her presence ever since she arrived in Seattle, chosen Amelia over her repeatedly, and hasn’t done anything to deserve her consideration. Teddy’s lack of self respect added to her ulterior motives have turned her into someone quite hard to root for.

I mean, she was the one who had a steady job in Germany. According to herself, she had a good social life, a great job, friends, a system that supports mothers. If that was so great, why did she even move? By her description, life in Germany was better for her and for the baby, so how come Owen’s needs and wishes were placed before her own, at the point that she moved to Seattle for him?

Grey’s writers, you are doing a terrible job inspiring people out there who are in similar positions.

Anyway, the conversation ends with Owen pointing out that had Teddy not taken that long to inform him of the consequences of their action (and let me point out that not once Owen has even considered not taking responsibility for them, as he should), things might have not escalated so much. He used the words “Crap Situation.”  It really is a crap situation, because Owen is getting to have something that he has always longed for, but in the worst possible conditions. He’s always wanted a family, but having a baby with someone other than the woman he loves wasn’t what he had in mind and we all know it.  

Amelia shows up just in time to hear the last bit of the conversation, and without the context, she has every reason to be upset, especially considering we’ve seen how much she’s hurting over this. We’ve seen passive aggressive Amelia before, but passive aggressive vulnerable Amelia has got to be a fan favorite.

Casting Teddy aside, Owen is quick on his heels to chase her.

In the following scene, we see Owen trying his best to communicate and apologize, but Amelia is not going to make it easy for him. When I first watched this scene, my first thought was “great, now we’re back to season 13 and Amelia is pushing Owen away and torturing him and we’re gonna have to endure long weeks of that.”Thankfully, that was not the case. Sarcasm can be a real outlet to deal with hurt feelings, but it’s not funny when it’s a character’s (or person’s) only resource.

Tom is quick to meddle in the conversation and while at it, he is quick to pester Owen about his “flu”. “We’re busy. Way too busy to catch whatever it is that you’re losing a fight against, so…” It might seem Tom doesn’t care about what’s going on, but I see it as him taking Amelia’s side and helping her avoid dealing with a situation she is not exactly in a condition to confront right now.

After unsuccessfully trying to get Amelia to talk to him (Owen actually volunteering to talk about his feelings, what a nice change!), Owen accepts that it’s not happening and retreats. I honestly expect to witness many more of these little battles between Tom and Owen in the future, because the dynamics this can potentially have is very exciting.  It’s a nice clash of the Alpha Male versus the Omega Male and it’s a huge turn on. I need more of that in my screen instead of having to put up with Jackson Soy Boy Avery as the representation of masculinity on the show. 

Teddy then resorts to Maggie, but the conversation doesn’t go very well. As the current chief updates her on how the department is run, Teddy’s primary response is to make sure Maggie knew she was responsible for making improvements when she was in charge. Teddy preaches an honest exchange, and the hypocrisy of her claim added to the resentful way she made her remark lead Maggie to (rightfully) question her logic.

And instead of simply admitting that hiding her pregnancy for so long wasn’t right, which would have put an end to the conversation and probably embarrassed Maggie to bring out a personal issue during that professional conversation, Teddy just infuriates us even more by somehow trying to justify herself. 

I mean, I am not saying Teddy owes Maggie any kind of explanation, but she is the one who went to Maggie in the first place. If she wants to be considered as a candidate, and if she wants to work under Maggie, the least she can do is try to make a good impression. But nope, not gonna happen. Teddy might as well just keep playing her victim card.

Meanwhile, Amelia and Tom are still trying to figure out a way to approach Catherine’s tumor and he drops one of the best lines in the episode. “Don’t take your baby daddy drama out on our tumor baby”. Tom is just becoming a fan favorite at this point. My favorite thing about the guy is that, while he is very supportive of Amelia and her feelings, he doesn’t put up with any bullshit and doesn’t care for drama. I really can relate to how practical he is about things, and while the “suck it up”approach  isn’t the best or healthiest motto to live by, there are moments in our lives (and I can personally attest it) where we have to put our feelings aside and just focus on work, because at this job, a poor performance can lead to immeasurable consequences.

Another good sequence comes in, in which Tom asks Amelia where is that neurosurgeon who operated on Nicole Herman’s tumor, to which Amelia replies “that was brain tumor Amelia. Non-Brain Tumor Amelia is a reasonable surgeon, who asks reasonable questions.” I think the situation with Catherine’s tumor and this important, complicated surgery is a perfect moment for Amelia to sort of regain some of her confidence. I disagree that the Amelia who operated on Herman was inconsequent and unreasonable. She was bold, driven, she took a leap of faith. Yes. But we also saw a lot of Amelia questioning herself, overthinking her plan, carefully considering each little detail. That’s why I say this tumor arc was a total retcon, because back on season 11 it was not at all obvious that Amelia had anything pathological going on (unlike for example the moments in the s14 premiere, when she acted like a crazy person who wasn’t considering any risk when she set out to operate on that boy’s face against Jackson’s advice - that was a forced, artificial moment). The Herman arc served to establish her as neurosurgeon just as talented and skilled as Derek (or perhaps even better). It wasn’t out of character and inconsequent at all. 

I think even if this upcoming operation turns out not to save Catherine, there can still be success at some level, or even some kind of breakthrough for Amelia (and Tom). Amelia has always been a brilliant, determined surgeon, but unlike Derek, she always humble. She always respected her enemy (the tumors) and the rules of the game . Right now, even if she takes on a more conservative approach and needs more time to carefully go through everything, it doesn’t mean that her brilliance and resourcefulness went away with the tumor. Impulsiveness has nothing to do with talent and vocation. The tumor was causing the first, not enhancing the latter. And I am glad that they are pointing out the fact Amelia is more reasonable now, not only with words but also with actions.

As Amelia and Jo exchange a conversation about a technology that can potentially help the neurosurgeons in their quest to beat the tumor, Tom steals the scene by making the most hilarious faces. Greg Germann is a gem, and he is so charismatic that his version of Dr. House (also known as Tom Koracick) came out better than the original. I also love how unimpressed Amelia is about Tom’s whoreness. I imagine that she’s had to put up with him acting like that around women a million times while she was studying under him. Just priceless.

At the same time that is going on, Owen is apparently really sick. In reality, it looks like he was just done performing at a Rocky Horror play, but we are meant to buy that he was perfectly healthy the day (or night?) before but then developed some nasty flu symptoms in a spam of a few hours that actually required intravenous rehydration. 

But when Owen got accidentally injected with propofol, I understood the purpose. Sadly, we are not getting to see him sing Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me. What a pity. I was getting hyped about this.

When Owen is knocked down and can’t breathe, he is intubated and taken into a room, and that’s where the vomit-inducing part of the episode came, because we had to put up with Teddy acting all wife-y over him.

It doesn’t take long before she points out how much of a victim she is again, this time asking for Owen’s sympathy. Teddy is even bold to say that she didn’t do anything against Amelia, which I absolutely disagree with. She might not have attacked Amelia directly, but by withholding the information she should have disclosed a lot sooner, Teddy invariably brought Amelia into a situation she could have chosen not to be a part of had Teddy spoken sooner.

Teddy says she doesn’t understand why she is the only one who has to sacrifice anything (which she was never asked to do, by anyone), and then suggests that Owen moves to Germany (because again, she doesn’t want to do anything to Amelia lol). Forget Amelia, let’s us be reminded that Owen has Leo, a foster child whose custody he doesn’t have, which means if he leaves to Germany, he’d have to leave Leo behind, alongside Amelia and Betty.

Yeah, Teddy, you’re being such an inspiration.

This nonsense idea ends when Owen suggests that Teddy takes his job and runs the trauma department (because in Grey’s Anatomy, it doesn’t matter if you’re a thoracic surgeon, you can run trauma; and if you are a trauma surgeon, you can run general. I think I’ll quit the Peds ICU and ask for a job in the Ophthalmology department, I heard the hours are good).

What I love about this decision is how zero f***s Owen gives about his job, his status, his position. While Teddy has been whining during the entire episode, complaining about “working under a twenty something”, Owen takes the more practical route and simply offers her the job, if it means so much to her to have a power position. He doesn’t care. Owen is the kind of person who doesn’t need to have a formal position to be a leader. He’s always been one. And while Teddy is running in circles trying to get validation out of a job, he can simply forfeit his because to him, the baby and the people he loves matter a lot more.  In two episodes, Owen has acted a lot more like a parent than Teddy has for 16 weeks, but who’s counting, right?  He is able to acknowledge the sacrifices Teddy has done (even if she hasn’t done them for the right reasons lol) and his motivation isn’t egoistical, he is just trying to make a crap situation a little better to everyone involved. That’s my man!

And to make it even tastier, Owen goes on and makes the best choice of the day. I confess that I expected the show to drag this out a while longer, to toy with the idea of the “triangle”, but I am very glad things got resolved really quickly.

A while ago, I mentioned that Amelia needed to be sure Owen was sure about his decision to carry on with their relationship during this messy situation and I think that last scene was a perfect portrayal of that. It’s the third time Owen looks for her (first in the stairwell, then in the neuro lab, and now outside the hospital) to try to salvage their relationship. He’s determined, he’s not giving up. And more importantly, he is proving what he is saying with his actions.

Owen informs Amelia that he gave Teddy his job. He wants them to stay and the honesty with which he says that really affects Amelia, because she is obviously linking those wishes to Owen having conflicted feelings. But then comes my favorite part of that dialogue (and that was a really hard pick because Owen said wonderful things!): “It’s the truth, Amelia, and I have to be able to tell you the truth. I have to be able to make mistakes, because there is no clear path here.” The only thing Owen knows for sure is that he’s having a baby with Teddy, but the real family he has is with her. Amelia is his family, she has been for a long time. And none of the good things coming his way are going to be that good if she’s not in it with him. Owen misses her and them. He doesn’t need time, he needs her.

And that’s how Amelia is sure Owen is sure.

As if our hearts hadn’t skipped many beats, Amelia gets very emotional. It’s clear on her face that she’s deeply moved by what he says. For a moment, we hold our breaths in fear that she might reject his words, but once her hands run on his chest and they exchange that classic, loving, emotional Omelia glance, I know it even before she drops the line.

That’s the confirmation (to us and to Owen) that she is also on board with this, that she also misses what they have and doesn’t want to give up their relationship. It’s Amelia agreeing that yes, they have to be able to make mistakes and tell each other the truth. It’s perhaps the most important step in their relationship so far, and it’s crowned by the cutest little twirl in the history of the show.

Everything about that scene is absolutely adorable, from the cute looks and the touching, to Amelia sneakily getting inside Owen’s embrace.

And since I roasted Teddy enough, I thought I should say that while I knew she and Tom would hit it off, I was quite surprised by how much I enjoyed watching them together. For the first time, Teddy wasn’t acting all defensive and making wrong decisions, instead she seemed to be taking on what’s coming ahead for her. I sense this is going to be a friendship who will later develop into something more.

Alright, bonus notes about the episode:

1)    Catherine and her tumor: Catherine is someone who I don’t like, can’t relate, feel like is excessively arrogant and standoff-ish. She is very good at patronizing everyone around her while treating everyone’s feelings with disregard, and that’s not being a leader, that’s being a tyrant. Her way of functioning is basically she gets to dictate all the rules (and change them when it suits her), make all the mistakes she wants and disregard the consequences, and when things get bad, she doesn’t need to deal with any of it, because she can simply change her last name or play the cancer card. I don’t care for people like her because she might seem like she’s strong and empowered acting as if she is immune to everything and everyone but in reality, she is weak and very fragile. Deep down, she is terrified of her feelings, can’t deal with them and that’s not at all a sign of strength. A high IQs doesn’t necessarily make up for high emotional intelligence, and walls don’t keep people out, they lock you in. Catherine is the living proof of those. The outcome of her plot is only interesting because Amelia is involved and might play a role in it, but other than that, I have tried really hard but honestly can’t feel any kind of sympathy for her (probably because of the way she treats the people in her life – I would hate being related to her).

2)    DeLuca or DeLink? While I don’t care if Meredith ends up with one, both or none, I confess I enjoyed learning a little more about DeLink’s background. The whole childhood cancer thing felt a little contrived, I admit, but I think it’s a nice explanation to why he sees the glass half full. I like his optimism and how upbeat he is, and I sincerely hope we get more of the guy in the future episodes.

3)    Kid Bailey is officially the worst actor ever. I know I shouldn’t be saying these things because he is a kid and all, but I am.

4)    I was very happy that for once, Omelia’s plot wasn’t about Leo and Betty.

5)    Glasses is that awkward friend we all have that gets inspired by the most unbelievable things, and then goes and embarrasses himself by doing something impulsive or inappropriate. But rarely, very rarely, that leap of faith pays off and when it does, it’s really cool to watch.

6)    I have decided we are not getting enough Jo, or Alex, or Jolex.

7)    Why does Maggie’s life revolved entirely around Jackson now? Did I miss something?

And now a personal bonus. This is entirely un-related to the developments of the characters, but it does involve Grey’s Anatomy and like I said, a choice I made.

To make it short and simple: for a few weeks now I have been getting to know two different guys – one works in the same hospital as me, and the other trains in the same place I do. They are very, very different people. One is a well-bred, delightful, ambitious, sophisticated and funny guy who understands my work hours, is absolutely responsible, driven and cultured, and knows damn well what he wants. The other is a carefree, laidback, family oriented, energetic, boyish business owner who is a hardworker, makes me laugh and thinks the idea of a good time is to dispute who can spit the farthest.

As you can imagine, making a choice between the two guys was incredibly hard, especially because I wasn’t really focusing on relationships at the moment. So I have tried not to place too many expectations on anything and simply took it lightly just to see where things went.

To my surprise, despite us working in the same place, things kind of got cold with the doctor, but the cuckoo head who works down my street makes more time to see me than the other does, and he brings food whenever he comes over. 

Last Thursday, I was coming home from a long, strenuous double shift and all I wanted was to come home and watch the new episodes of Grey’s and Suits before I went to bed. But he called and came over, saying he didn’t mind staying in and watching the episodes with me if I was too tired to go out.

May I point out, this is someone who up until last week thought Grey’s Anatomy and ER were the same show, doesn’t watch anything other than sports competitions, formula 1 races and superhero movies, and asked me if he can come over to my hospital to “pretend he is a doctor and play with my 3D Glasses Simulator” when Tom and Amelia were trying to work up a plan to approach Catherine’s tumor. He was very disappointed when I told him my work does not involve any kind of 3D simulations.

He also stated that “there were more people in the OR gallery than in (his football team’s rival)’s stadium”,  asked me if “Future Medicine Fellow is a fancy name for researcher”, decided on his own that “the skinny blond woman (Teddy) looks more lost than Sandra Bullock with a blindfold on Birdbox” and ultimately, said that “That guy (Tom) is the real hero because he gets to play videogames and chill while everyone else is working”. And to my delighted surprised, he came up on his own with the conclusion that “the guy you like (Owen) made the right choice to go for the brunette because they are the most good looking couple in the show.” Not exactly the reason I would go for, but I agree with it!

The point is that, in an episode about choices, everything worked out as it should. And from there on, there is no more triangle.  Owen made his. I’ve made mine. Even if after looking over my shoulder, he focused on the Super Mario on my screensaver instead of the absolutely adorable things I wrote about him.

So, Owen and Amelia are together. Now what?

I think moving forward, we are going to see these two dealing with things as a couple and navigating this unprecedented situation of having a family, while Owen is going to father someone else’s child. I think the Teddy drama will be put on hold for now, at least while Owen and Amelia deal with their own domestic situation. From the synopsis, we can assume that Betty (and perhaps even Leo) are at a high risk for leaving the show, and I confess I am very interested to see Owen and Amelia dealing with an empty nest if that turns out to happen. It would be a challenging situation for sure, considering that these kids were how they initially got closer again, but aren’t the real reason why they are together. I think there’s a lot of ground to explore there, but since I’ve spent too much time dissecting the events of the past episode, I will leave the speculation to the following posts.

I hope everyone has a lovely week, and thanks for making all the way here! See you soon!

*all uncredited gifs go to @bafy-usy