#I had that happen a couple times and went to refund and literally couldn’t find them anymore

[sweetest-honeybee]

How long do commissions usually take? I’ve ordered from an artist before and they said nothing for like 3 months

I try to do them within 60 days but life gets in the way more than I’d like to sometimes 😅 if the artist hasn’t said anything you can always check in on progress and worst case scenario, you can always ask for a refund if you paid upfront

[nnightskiess]

r e q u e s t: Hi !! I love your writing ❤️ I want to know if it’s possible for you to write something with Quinn fabray x reader ? They are together in quarantine in New York with Rachel, Kurt and Santana. Also Reader and Santana are best friends. Can you add humor and fluff please ? Thanks ☺️

Quinn and Y/N were walking hand in hand through the streets of New York. They had planned a little getaway together to the big city. It was mainly Quinn’s idea, she wanted to propose to her high school sweetheart— Y/N. But most of their trip, and thus Quinn’s plan, fell apart due to the rapid spread of the Covid virus. Their tickets for Broadway had been refunded. The cute tearoom where Quinn had planned to propose to the girl— and where the two women had shared their first kiss during Glee club’s Nationals in New York— was closed down due to the virus. Most of the things Quinn had planned out for the proposal got refunded, except for the hotel. Quinn decided that she’d postpone her proposal to another time. She didn’t want to propose to Y/N like this. She deserved a proper proposal, like the one Quinn had planned out in her head for years. Quinn tried not to let it get her down but she found it hard to lie to Y/N about the frown on her face. 

“I know it’s different.... but... I’m still glad we’re here.” Y/N brought their intertwined hands together and planted a kiss on Quinn’s knuckles. “New York always brings me back to high school.” 

“Remember when we broke the bed during our pillow fight? And, oh God, how Tana fell off it when you smacked her across the face?” Y/N shook her head in amusement, “But the thing I will never forget is when we shared our first kiss in that adorable tearoom near the hotel.”

Quinn gave her a distant smile. 

“And remember how panicked I was when Mr. Schuester walked by the window and I thought he had seen us out of the hotel room?”

Quinn hummed softly, rubbing her thumb across Y/N’s hand. She remembered every little detail about that morning, which made this all so much harder.

Y/N came to a halt and stood in front of Quinn, which caused the latter to bump into her. 

“Oh, baby-”

“Why are you so quiet? I don’t like it.” Y/N seemed genuinely worried. 

Quinn looked at the ground for a second and held her temple, trying to come up with a good enough lie. 

“I-” She looked back up at her girlfriend and her expression immediately softened. Whenever Y/N was worried— particularly about Quinn — her eyebrows would furrow and she’d pout her lips ever so slightly. 

Quinn sighed, “I’m just disappointed that we couldn’t visit it this time. I feel like a visit to New York is never complete without a high tea at our place.” Y/N smiled softly when Quinn grabbed her cheeks to comfort her.  

“You know what else makes our trip complete?”

Y/N grinned like an idiot, immediately knowing what she was hinting at. 

Quinn smiled, 

“Let’s go pick up our stuff from the hotel first and then drive there.”

✫彡

“Wait, let me scare her.” 

Quinn shook her head in amusement as her girlfriend plastered herself against the wall next to the front door of the apartment. Quinn knocked a few times before the door slid open. 

“Oh my God! Quinn! It’s so good to see you!” Kurt’s voice rang through the hallway. He quickly hugged her before calling Santana.

“Quinn’s here!” 

He turned back to the blond in front of him, “Are you alone?” Kurt was in disbelief, knowing very well that Quinn and her girlfriend were inseparable. Quinn quickly looked at Y/N through her peripheral and saw her nod her head.

“...I guess so-”

“Wait... you two are still together, right?” Concern filled Kurt’s voice, but before Quinn could reply, Santana appeared out of the bathroom.

“Ha! You bet they are.” She smirked at her friend, “Wait... where’s the fiancée?” 

Quinn’s eyes widened and she immediately faked a long, awkward laughter. “Good one, San.” 

Kurt looked between the two girls in confusion, and even Santana seemed lost. 

He let out an awkward chuckle. “Am I missing something?” 

Santana got the hint after Quinn shot her another look, “Oh- that’s just an inside joke of ours.” 

“Y/N! Oh my God!” Someone squealed.

The three turned around and saw Rachel stand in the hallway, two large bags in her hand. She had seen Y/N hide behind the wall when she walked up to their frontdoor.

“Damn it, Berry.” Y/N groaned. “You ruined my surprise.”

Santana snorted, “Well, I knew you were somewhere. Quinn gets rashes when you’re not within a radius of 16 feet.” She opened her arms wide when Y/N revealed herself. “C’mere, I missed you.”

The two best friends shared a sweet hug while Rachel clumsily carried her bags inside.

“What’s up with that?” Kurt turned to her.

“Oh- well, now that our shows are postponed to God-knows-when... I thought I’d bring the stuff from my dressing room back home.”

“Why’d you bring this coffee machine home? We already have one.”

“Yeah, but I don’t like that one.”

“Rachel! We have no more countertop space... or available plugs!” 

He gasped when he saw the brand, “These coffee pods are thirty dollars per package?!”

Santana rolled her eyes and walked Quinn and Y/N to the living room.

“So...while we let Bert and Ernie bicker... what’s up? No trouble in paradise?” She turned to the couple, hoping to cryptically find out why Quinn hadn’t proposed.

"I can’t believe you think we’d be able to part ways.” Y/N joked back and cuddled up against her girlfriend, who shook her head at Santana to let her know she’d tell her later.

“What do you girls want to drink? Or do you want some of Rachel’s exquisite coffee?” Kurt asked from the kitchen.

“Can I try a sip first?”

Quinn smiled at the childish antics of her girlfriend. Rachel gestured the girl to come over, which left the two ex-cheerios alone to talk.

Santana leaned in closer so that no one would hear,

“What happened?! Did you freak out at the last minute? Tell me you didn’t...”

Quinn sighed and rubbed her temples, “No, my whole proposal fell into pieces thanks to this freaking virus.”

“People are dying, Q.”

She sighed, “Gah, I know. It’s just- I’ve had this all planned out in my head for years. This was how it was supposed to go. And now everything is ruined.”

Santana gave her a sympathetic smile and squeezed her knee. “And there’s no alternative that you’d like?”

Quinn shrugged and shook her head softly.

“Well, if I may speak freely... we’re the only people who know Y/N in and out... which means that we also both know that she wouldn’t care if you went on one knee in a clown suit or if you wrote your big question in the sky with a plane...” Santana looked back to see if they were paying attention to their hushed conversation, but Y/N was sitting on the counter, her feed dangling while she took gentle sips of the expensive coffee. A small smile appeared on both girl’s faces. 

“The only thing she cares for is that you are the one to ask her.” 

Quinn’s eyes were filled with tears as she came to the realisation. 

“Thanks, Santana.”

“Anytime.” 

The two hugged until they heard Y/N run up to them.

“I want in!”

✫彡

A few hours had passed and all five of them were sprawled about the couch, their take-away food on the coffee table. Y/N’s head rested against Quinn’s chest while her legs were put on Santana’s lap. Quinn mindlessly played with the strands of Y/N’s hair.

It had become a tradition for them to watch ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ every time they visited their friends in New York.

“This scene breaks my heart every damn time.” Y/N mumbled and threw a napkin at the TV when Holly left the cat on the curb in the rain. 

“She goes back for him later, though.” Kurt spoke.

“I don’t care. Damage is done.”

‘People do fall in love, people do belong to each other. Because that’s the only chance anybody has for real happiness.’ Paul, one of the characters spoke.

Quinn put her head against Y/N’s at hearing that. She was filled with so much joy at having this wonderful girl in her arms.

“I’ve been carrying this thing around for months,” Paul grabbed a wedding ring box out of his coat which caused Quinn’s mind to wander off. Even though she had seen this movie a dozen times, she was still surprised to be reminded of her ruined proposal. 

Before she could make herself feel miserable about it again, Rachel’s phone rang. She quickly excused herself but motioned for them to not pause the movie. 

Rachel walked to the living area after a few minutes, her expression tense and filled with worry.

“Guys...”

Kurt paused the movie as the girls turned to Rachel.

“We might have a tiny problem...Well... a big one, actually.”

Everyone got the memo that it was something serious and they sat up.

“One of the ensemble members has been tested positive for the virus... which means that everyone— crew and cast — needs to go into quarantine at home... and that includes everyone they have been in contact with... so that would mean that we have to stay inside for the next two weeks too...”

The bunch on the couch took a moment to take the news in until Santana shot up, 

“I am not going to spend two weeks, non-stop, in here! I already go insane with too much of you as it is. I usually can deal with curtains as walls, your stubble in the sink or your god-awful annoying vocal exercises when I’m trying to sleep but that’s because I get home from work, eat and head straight to bed. But I will literally kill someone if I have to go through that all day long. I was supposed to see Brittany this weekend but hey, thanks a lot, Berry.”

“This is hardly Rachel’s fault. It’s the responsible and safe thing to do. You wouldn’t want Brittany to get it, right?”

Santana avoided eye-contact, but it was clear that she agreed with what Kurt said. 

“Wow, I feel so unwanted right now.” Y/N mumbled out, slightly joking. “You get to spend your quarantine with us!”

Santana gave her a tight-lipped, apologetic smile, “I know, that’s the only good thing about this.”

Rachel saw the gloomy looks on everyone’s face. “They won’t tell us who it is for privacy reasons, but I usually don’t hang out with the ensemble anyway so I hope I’m safe. I’m so sorry, you guys.”

Kurt stood up with a sigh, “I guess I’ll go find the spare mattress then. You two can take my bed.” He was about to walk off but pointed a finger at Quinn and Y/N. “No sex... in my bed.”

Quinn pursed her lips, not that happy with Kurt’s rule.

“You were the leader of the celibacy club, you can last two weeks without sex. Besides, there are no walls so I will know when you break my rule.”

“Like that’s ever stopped you and Blaine before.” Santana rolled her eyes. “But great. We’ll have five, sexually frustrated people cooped up together in a tiny apartment with no walls for privacy, no natural light and no entertainment. Someone’s definitely going to get murdered... by me.” She added.

“My vote’s on Rachel...” Y/N mumbled out. Santana stuck out her hand behind her back for Y/N to high five.

“I’m just glad we decided to check out of our hotel this morning and bring our stuff to you guys... because no matter how much I love you all, I am not going to wear any of your spare panties.” Quinn stood up to go and help Kurt.

“You could just go commando.” Y/N shrugged, “I wouldn’t mind.” 

Quinn sent her a teasing look and winked.

“I would say get a room but yeah, we don’t have any...so...” Rachel shrugged. 

“I can’t believe we’re going to have to do this.” Santana sighed and walked off to her part of the apartment. 

“Hey- but, look at it this way. We’ll have two weeks of non-stop karaoke, binge-watching and eating junk food. Doesn’t that sound great?” Rachel tried again but no one replied.

 ✫彡

One week done, one week to go. 

For Quinn and Y/N, this week had consisted of a lot of cuddling and making out in bed, watching silly movies and cooking with whatever they could find in the pantry.

Santana had surprisingly been on her best behaviour, though they let her be whenever she had a ‘don’t-talk-to-me’ look on her face. Y/N suspected that Brittany had probably told her to be nice and to make the best out of it, but she also liked to think that it was because of her presence. She hadn’t been able to visit her best friend often now that they lived so far away. But it was like old times whenever they saw each other again. However, Quinn had caught herself feeling jealous that the two women had spent that much time together. But her jealousy washed away when she saw the best friends joke or laugh like they used to when they were still 16 year olds. It warmed her heart.

Kurt blended in perfectly and knew exactly when to give someone space or when to approach them. He and Quinn made sure there was food on the table and he had ordered a lot of, mostly useless, stuff online to try and keep everyone entertained. The twister game had been everyone’s favourite so far. And the effort he put into his bingo night was even too wholesome for Santana to make a comment about it, no matter how bad she wanted to after getting a rubber duck as present when she won.

Rachel did her best to help wherever she could and she was, surprisingly, a lot of fun to have around when things got boring. Though, yes, the daily vocal exercises got a bit out of hand when she woke them up belting high notes at 7.30. Santana was close to killing her had it not been for Quinn and Y/N holding her back. Santana wasn’t intimidating at all with her bed head, tangled up hair and red PJs and Y/N couldn’t help but laugh.

Quinn had been over the moon, so to say. She got to spend two whole weeks with the love of her life. Yes, they lived together but that was different. Now, there was no schedule or work to interrupt them or cloud their minds. It was just them, enjoying being in each other’s arms. For a lot of couples the lockdown and quarantine would probably be make or break, but Quinn hadn’t been worried about a negative outcome at all. When you’ve been together for that long, and been through hell and back, you know you will persevere together. The company of Kurt and Rachel was fun, and it was certainly good to have Santana around again but Quinn couldn’t help but wish it had just been Y/N and herself in quarantine. If that had been the case, she knew they wouldn’t just spend their days only cuddling in bed.

Y/N was the only one that was visibly annoyed and on edge. She would roll her eyes or sigh in annoyance if things went wrong or if someone said something she didn’t like. Quinn had caught her staring out of the window, to which Y/N explained that she hoped if she looked hard and long enough she might see the dragon that would save her. She wasn’t used to sit around and do nothing and was bored out of her mind.

Quinn and Y/N were lying in Kurt’s bed with their legs tangled together. Quinn held her girl close to her chest. She squeezed her and inhaled the scent of her freshly washed hair. The window was slightly open, causing a chill breeze to slightly move the curtains.

“Now I’m sure of it...” Y/N started, getting Quinn’s attention, “I’m never going to commit a felony.”

Quinn let out a breathy chuckle, “Were you questioning it before?”

“I can’t imagine being stuck like this for years.”

“Well, you still have access to the internet, great food, your friends...and your wonderful girlfriend.” 

Y/N looked up at Quinn and grinned. She grabbed the girl’s cheek as she kissed her. 

“Can’t believe I’m about to say this but I’m actually really thankful we got stuck in quarantine.”

Y/N subtly arched a questioning eyebrow.

“It made me realise two things— too much of Rachel Berry will be the end of me-” Y/N let out a breathy chuckle at that, “-and...” 

Quinn stared into her girlfriend’s eyes, was she really going to do this now? Yes. Yes, she definitely was. This was the-

“Oh my God!” Kurt’s exciting squeal filled the apartment, startling both girls. They heard Santana shush him and it suddenly got very quiet. Too quiet... 

Y/N tiptoed out of the bed in her PJ’s and fluffy socks and opened the curtain to see Santana and Kurt staring directly at her. She had clearly caught them with something, but with what? Quinn appeared behind Y/N and noticed the jacket that Santana was trying to hide behind their backs.

Kurt noticed she was doing a poor job at it and snatched the jacket out of Santana’s hands to hold it up to his face, admiring it like it was a newborn baby. “Oh my, it’s so pretty! Where did you buy this?” 

Quinn quickly glanced at Y/N, who didn’t seem to notice what was happening. “Guys,” She groaned, “I thought something happened, you interrupted my peace.” She walked back, irritated, and closed the curtain in a swift motion. 

“Why were you snooping in my stuff?!” Quinn hissed and plucked her jacket out of his hands.

“Um, excuse me? When where you going to tell me that you plan on proposing to her!?” Kurt whispered, enthusiasm clear in his voice. 

Quinn didn’t reply and instead searched the pockets. “Where is it?”

“Here,” Santana gave her the jewellery box. “It fell out when Kurt was organising the coat rack.”

“Why haven’t you done it yet?”

“I had everything planned but the virus ruined it. It was suppose to happen the day we came here, but our favourite tearoom was shut down and so were all the other activities I had planned.” She sighed, “I was about to do it just now, in the heat of the moment, but then you two interrupted that. Whatever. I’m glad I didn’t. She deserved better than that.”

Santana crossed her arms, not happy with the fact that Quinn had apparently totally forgotten what the two of them had talked about a week prior.

“Damn, I wish you would’ve done it just now. That would mean the end of wicked witch Y/N.” Rachel joined their conversation. “Oh, so you can make fun of me but not the other way around? It was just a joke.” She added and raised her arms when she saw the looks Quinn and Santana were giving her.

“Okay, I know everyone’s feeling a bit irritated, but it’s just one more-”

The bell rang. 

“Don’t tell me you bought us all matching boho outfits for your Mamma Mia night. I’m not wearing it.” Santana crossed her arms.

“I didn’t order anything?”

Y/N appeared again and opened the door.

“Thank you so much. Here, keep this.”

She closed it, walked over to the kitchen table and went to put everything down, completely ignoring the rest. She noticed the silence and turned around.

“Oh- Don’t worry, I ordered for everyone.” 

Quinn eyed the table and recognised the familiar logo on the napkins. 

“Baby-”

“I felt so bad that we couldn’t go to our place this time. So when I found out that they started doing deliveries this week, I knew I wanted to order their high tea menu. I got the one we usually get... to make you feel better...”

Quinn wrapped her arms around the girl’s waist from behind and put her chin on her shoulder. Y/N leaned into her touch.

“This is the sweetest thing ever. I love you.”

Y/N kissed Quinn’s forehead and sat down, immediately grabbing a brownie.

“You need to wife her up, fast.” Santana whispered into Quinn’s ear when she walked by.

And she would, when the moment was right.

✫彡

Kurt was watching a movie with Blaine through face time, Rachel was practicing some lines and Santana was face timing Brittany. Quinn and Y/N had promised to do the dishes, but Quinn ushered the girl to take a nap on the couch when she saw how tired her girl looked. 

Quinn took quick glances towards the living room every few seconds and saw that Y/N had finally fallen asleep on the couch. With a faint smile on her face, she grabbed a blanket and tucked Y/N in. One of Rachel’s dvd’s, The Sound of Music, was still playing in the background. She slowly took the remote out of Y/N’s hands and turned it off.

“You’re the best and most precious thing in my life. I love you.” She bent down and caressed her cheek.

She widened her eyes when an idea suddenly struck her mind. 

✫彡

“What do we sing?”

“No... no singing proposal. Y/N would hate that.”

“I loved it.” Kurt shrugged.

“So, then what’s the plan?”

“Listen up...”

✫彡

Their quarantine was over and no one had gotten sick. No one from Rachel’s crew or cast had gotten it either. Brittany and Blaine came over as soon as they could. They were over the moon to hear about Quinn wanting to propose and agreed to help. 

“Love, what are you doing?” 

Y/N sat on her suitcase, desperately trying to get it closed.

“I thought I had gained weight, not my clothes.” She grunted, “If we want to get home before the dark we should drive off by-”

“Actually... I had something planned before we go home.”

“Oh?”

“Is it okay if we leave as soon as you can? Bring a jacket, I don’t want you to get cold.”

Quinn left Y/N to get ready and anxiously walked into the kitchen where the rest were whispering words of encouragement to her. Quinn knew how much they had loved each other for the past years, but something inside her was still very insecure if Y/N would say yes to her question... to her. What would she do with herself if Y/N didn’t accept her ring?

“She’s going to love it.” Santana hugged her tight but quickly let go when Y/N opened the curtain.

“Why are you all looking at me?”

“Because you look lovely.” Quinn grabbed her hand. They all sent her thumbs up as she took one last glance over her shoulder. 

✫彡

Y/N was eating a pretzel that Quinn had bought her in the park. The two were walking in a comfortable silence. Quinn glanced to the girl beside her, hoping that Y/N would catch on on what was happening soon. 

They had walked almost the very same route that they walked on that morning in New York many, many years ago. Their end stop would be at the edge of the park, where Santana and Brittany were now probably busy setting their high tea up.

“Why are pretzels so much better in New York?”

“Eh, I don’t know. I’m not really a pretzel girl.”

The park was normally crowded with locals and tourists, but they had barely seen a handful of people so far. 

“Wasn’t this where we sat with the kids from Glee?”

Quinn smiled softly.

Finally.

“Yeah, it is, actually.”

“Oh- Well, everything from that trip is very blurry in my mind, except for our first kiss, of course. I can even still tell you the colour of your coat.”

Quinn gave her a playful smile and grabbed Y/N’s hand. “Which was?”

“Red.” She booped her nose with the end of her pretzel, earning a giggle from Quinn.

She grinned softly, “Remember that snow globe I bought for you? With New York’s skyline?”

Y/N gasped, “I loved that thing.” 

The two laughed, remembering that Y/N had dropped it when they rushed to cross the street only half an hour after buying it.

“Then you bought me a couple others throughout the years but none of them have ever been able to have the same value to me. Sorry not sorry.” 

Quinn smiled to herself, hoping she was about to change that in a few minutes. She saw Santana and Brittany sitting on the grass in the distance and guided Y/N to the two. They left without saying a word, but not before giving the two enthusiastic but knowing smiles. Santana wiggled her eyebrows but Britt pulled her away.

“I am so confused right now.” Y/N hesitantly sat down on the blanket. “Why were they here?”

“I asked them to help me set up this little picnic so it could be a surprise. I know you ordered the high tea last week but I wanted to end our trip off like this, with just us. Also, we’ve spent the last two weeks in NYC without even a day outside. I didn’t want to leave before we went somewhere. I hope you like it.”

“Like it? I can never get enough of their cheesecake bites.” 

Quinn smiled nervously, trying to hide how stressed she felt. She poured the juice in their glasses and fed Y/N a bite of a scone with butter and peach marmalade.

“How does that taste?”

Y/N threw her head back and groaned. “I’m going to miss their food.” 

Quinn barely replied, too focused on how she was going to bring it up. Backing out now felt like a good way to calm her nerves but she knew she shouldn’t. Not only because Santana would kill her if she did, but also because there would never be a more perfect moment than now.

“Quinn?”

“Uh-Yeah, love?”

“What is this?” Y/N repeated. 

Quinn’s eyes widened when she saw the wrapped up package Y/N had grabbed out of the basket. 

“Oh- I... that...-” She sighed, “Screw it.” She went to sit on her knees and ushered Y/N to open it.

“For me?”

Quinn nodded, a big smile on her face.

“Quinnie... you-”

“Open it, my love.”

Y/N removed the wrapping paper and gasped when she saw what it was. It was a handmade snow globe, made in a mason jar. The New York skyline was glued to the bottom of it with a laminated picture of the two of them that they took during their first visit to New York. (Thank God Kurt was into a crafty phase during the second week of quarantine).

“I’m not the best at crafts but I just thought-”

“I love it.” Y/N beamed from ear to ear and her smile only widened when the snow inside of it fell onto the skyline.

“This is the most thoughtful gift someone has ever given me.”

“I’m glad you love it.” Quinn grabbed Y/N’s hand and softly moved it around so that the bottom of the snow globe was now facing up. Y/N furrowed her eyebrows until she realised what was scribbled down onto a piece of paper at the bottom. Quinn put the snow globe down and grabbed both of Y/N’s hands in her own, brushing her thumbs against the girl’s knuckles.

“I must admit that I thought what I’m about to say a million times over for the past days and I imagined what I would say to you in this moment for years—but truth be told, I kind of forgot all of that because of the nerves,” Quinn let out a chuckle, “To be honest, I have always known that you were the only girl I wanted to be with in this life. I don’t know what it was, but we’ve just had this instant gravitation towards each other. I know I wasn’t always the kindest to you in the beginning yet you still helped me through everything. The pregnancy, the accident... Now I can say all this cheesy shit about how you and I bring the best out of each other and how much love we have for one another but I think I don’t need to say that. We both know how much our relationship means to us. New York has always been a special place to me since it reminds me of why and how we fell in love. Which is why I wanted to do this here. This is were it all began. Now, I had everything planned months ago but... the situation changed and well... yeah. I had to adjust. At first, I wanted to postpone it all. Until I realised that I couldn’t wait any longer. Y/N, you are my everything. I want to be by your side until eternity. I want to be your person for as long as I can. I want to love and care for you for as long as you want me to.” 

She let out a shaky breath.

“So I guess...what I’m trying to say here is...” She grabbed the box out of her pocket, opened it and presented it to Y/N. “Would you like to marry me?”

Y/N looked at the box in shock, she hadn’t made eye contact with Quinn ever since she had presented her with the ring in her hand. 

The silence lasted only for a few seconds but it felt like minutes to Quinn, who slowly lowered her hands. 

Y/N suddenly let out a sob, then another. She jumped onto Quinn and wrapped her arms around her neck.

“Yes.” She said through her sobs. Quinn let out a gasp of relief and squeezed the girl in her arms, letting her own tears fall freely now. 

“Oh-” Y/N groaned and let go of her embrace. “I stepped into the scones...” She pouted and looked at her marmalade stained knee. Quinn laughed through her tears, realising this was exactly why she had asked this girl to marry her.

Y/N forgot it immediately the moment she locked eyes with her fiancée. She held her tight and kissed her like she never had before. 

They let go like two love-sick puppies when they heard all of their friends approach. The newly engaged couple was radiating.

“I love you, so much.”

[honestlyfragile]

Jinxed - Bang Chan

Pairing: Bang Chan x Female reader

Genre: fluff, crack, winter!au

Wc: 3.1k

Summary: Chan had always had a thing for knick knacks, and you’re just right on season. But are refunds possible? Or will he just have to deal with being… jinxed?

Your novelty shop was a tradition passed onto your family for decades. It was open all year round but since Christmas was around the corner, it was more active than ever. You sold items that were brand new, and some antiques that were either donated, or preserved stocks that haven’t been sold in years.

Ever since winter break, your mother certainly took the chance of asking you to watch the store this time, and you couldn’t really turn her down. Besides. it wasn’t that hard to do so. You would just punch the items on the cash register, then it’s sold. Pretty easy, right? Except for when customers have way too many questions. Especially for the antique items. Questions that go as far as the origin of the item, which you should know of. Gladly, every single donated item had its own story to tell.

It was a few minutes before your lunch break, but just as you were going to put up the “On Lunch Break” sign, a boy with ash blonde hair with a faded brown undertone wearing a thick, black leather jacket with a red knitted scarf entered the store. His eyes slowly wandering from left to right as soon as the chimes on the door tingled. You sigh, but you had to entertain them. Your lunch could wait.

“Good day! How can I help you?” You smile.

“Uh, yes good day to you too,” he awkwardly greets, and you give him a nod.

“Looking for anything in particular?”

“Oh i was hoping to buy a snow globe.” He rubs his cold hands together, his pale skin turning red.

“We have a lot of those here, do you prefer new ones or antiques?” You suggest.

“Antiques? Those seem cool, they are still in good condition, right?”

“Of course they are. Let me show you where it is.” You exit the cash register and lead him into the section of the well preserved antique snow globes. “Some of these go way back fifty years ago. But they are a bit pricier the older they are.” You give him a heads up.

“That should be fine. Fifty years you say? May I take a look at that?” His eyes light up, you start to think that maybe he did have a thing for collecting these kind.

You scan the selection and carefully reach for the one that had an intricately carved bronze base, while the globe had a small Christmas village on it. With both hands, you hand it over for him to observe.

“Wow.” He lightly shakes it to make the snow flakes float around. “May I know the origins of this one?” He says, eyes still glued to the knick knack.

“That one is from England. It was donated to us.”

“Interesting. How much is it?” He looks at you this time, and notices your nametag.

You couldn’t help but smile back at the excitement of this boy. “It’s a hundred and fifty dollars.”

His eyes widen, but doesn’t complain. “Consider it sold.”

You carefully take the item from him, and go back to the cash register. You get it a nice box and tie it with a red ribbon, for the design and security of the package. “Here you go, thank you for the purchase.” You smile and hand it to him.

“Thank you, ____.” He smiles, turns his back and leaves the store. You could finally have your lunch.

It was kind of him to have taken note of your name, but you never really got his. But he was just a customer anyways.

----

Chan arrived home and ever so carefully took out the item he had purchased from your store. He lightly tugs on the red ribbon that you had beautifully knotted around the box, and they slowly fall on the sides. He opens it and cautiously slips his quite large hands into the box, and he could barely fit it inside. Still, he tried to grip the glass ball and once he had gotten a hold of it, he flips it over with care. Bothered by the fingerprints that he left on it, he took it with both hands and fogged up the glass with his warm breath. He wipes it with his sweater paws and it went back to its crystalline form. Satisfied, he shakes it to make the snowflakes float around and places it on his bedside table, where his lamp shade was also located.

He smiles, pleased with what he just acquired, which he thought was a rare item. It was, and he had absolutely no idea what it might bring him.

----

The weather was more frigid than usual, it was zero close to negative. He had checked all of his windows if they were tightly shut, and they were. He shudders, and rubs his palms together and warms it with his breath. He tries to turn the heat up, because the temperature indoors most certainly wouldn’t do.

“What the heck?” He fumbles with the heater, which didn’t want to turn on. Even if it was very much plugged into the mounted outlet on the wall. He unplugs it, then plugs again. But it still didn’t work. “The power couldn’t be out, the lights are fine, the others are working too..” he pouts and scratches the back of his head.

Setting aside the busted appliance, he thought that maybe he could just eat and drink something warm, like hot chocolate and some spicy ramen. He pours hot water onto his mug and mixes in the dark cocoa powder and adds two tablespoons of brown sugar. The scent and aroma kissing his nose. He lifts the mug onto his lips, and carefully takes a sip— it was too hot. He got startled because his tongue got stung by the burning sensation, and at the same time, some of the drink has also spilled on his clothes. “Shit.” He mumbles, frustrated. He couldn’t even enjoy a cup of hot chocolate without something unfortunate happening. Maybe his luck with making ramen would be fine, he’s done this a hundred times, what could possibly go wrong?

Now more cautious than ever with his actions, he gets a cooking pot and fills it halfway with water. He grips it tightly, just in case the water would want to suddenly leap out of the pot, right? Safe. The pot made it to the top of the stove, and he sighs in relief. He turns up the heat, setting it to high and impatiently waited for it to boil. He was freezing.

Chan had his own way of making ramen, he learned it from a former room mate. He puts the seasoning powder first and lets it simmer before he boils the noodles. He was doing so well until the gas stove had suddenly just stopped heating the food. The fire had disappeared, and his noodles weren’t even soft enough to be eaten yet. He tries to stay calm, and turns the knob of the stove over and over again, but no sign of ignition. He ran out of gas.

“You have got to be kidding me.” his palms rest on the marble counter, the cold sensation hitting his skin and he flinches. He curses to himself, he has never been this unlucky before.

He had no choice, he couldn’t just throw the meal away. He got his electric kettle and hoped that the noodles would continue to cook there. He transfers the half cooked ramen to the small opening of the kettle and it slightly spills on the side, but thankfully, he made it work.

“Who eats ramen that was cooked in a electric kettle? Psh.” He shakes his head in disbelief, but eats it anyways.

As he quietly tried to enjoy his meal, his head uplifts to look at his wall calendar, thinking that it might have been Friday the 13th or he might have stepped on a crack on the pavements on his way home. His bad luck had to come from somewhere. And to his surprise, it was. December 13th, 2019, Friday. And for once, he had believed that it all made sense. It was just Friday the thirteenth.

-----

Chan woke up the next day, not sure if he felt lucky or not. The first thing he does is get his phone from his side table, his eyes barely even opened. Before he could even read the time, his phone drops on his face, and hits his nose, hard. “Jesus!” He rubs the bridge of his nose, now quite red from the impact of the gadget. He runs his hands through his hair and carefully stands and stretches. He walks over to a safe spot, making sure that his limbs won’t knock anything over. He successfully does his push-ups. He walks over to the blank wall beside his desk and does a handstand. So far, so good. He huffed, and does a couple handstand push-ups, then carefully plops down.

He heads over to his desk to shake the snow globe that he bought, takes his small time admiring the details of what was inside, then sets it down once again. He goes to the bathroom and washes his face with a cleanser as he lathers it lavishly. By the time that he tried to turn on the sink again, there wasn’t any water coming out of it. He opens his eyes as a reflex, totally forgetting that he still has soap in his eyes, causing it to sting. And as another reflex, he rubs his eyes only to find out that the hand he used was covered in foam as well. He stomps his foot, nothing has ever went his way ever since he got home from your store. The only way that he could possibly remove all the residue on his face was to use the drinking water he had, which was an absolute waste. As the saying goes, “When ill luck begins, it does not come in sprinkles but in showers.”

Chan started to think that maybe something else had been bringing him this horrible luck. Many Friday the thirteenths have passed in his whole 23-year old life but he has never had it this bad. Actually, he could not recall the last time where he was running out of luck. Chan wasn’t the type of person to believe in superstitions that much, but the shower of unfortunate events made him believe that it wasn’t just all a coincidence.

He sat in front of his desk, plopping down on his swiveling chair. He runs his hands through his hair and goes in deep thought. Again he glances at the snow globe. He crosses his arms. “Could it be?” he shakes his head, “no, no, it can’t it’s a snow globe what can it possibly do?” He pauses. “But what if it is? Should i go back and ask for a refund or would that be too stupid?” He raises his eyebrows and puts his hand under his chin. He was literally having a conversation with himself at this point and it was hilarious.

He abruptly stands up, causing him to get dizzy. He rubs his temples and proceeds to grab his coat, he was going back to your store. He got the box that was used for the snow globe and even the ribbon, of course he didn’t know how to tie it as good as you did, nonetheless he tried to get the package to the original stage that it was in.

It had been snowing a handful outside but it was still safe to drive. He places the package on the passenger’s seat and even blocks it with a seatbelt. “It could have been you. You’re the one who’s bringing me bad luck. You can’t fool me with how good you look.” He glances over the item, and proceeds to drive. The light had been yellow and he tried to beat it, unfortunately he was caught and halted onto the side. He was given a driving ticket. His bad luck was a whole avalanche.

He arrives at the store, practically storming in. You were surprised to see the boy again, but the smile on his face has definitely vanished. “May I help you?” you look at him, puzzled.

He arrives at the counter and sets down the item. “Yes i would like a refund.”

“We don’t do refunds sir I’m sorry. But is the item damaged? Why would you want to make a refund?” You questioned, surprised because no one has ever asked a refund from your store, for as far as you could remember.

“No, it’s perfectly fine. Physically.” He looks down on his feet, his ears turn red.

“Then I don’t seem to understand the problem here sir.” You were still very much confused.

“It’s just, i don’t want it anymore.” He stutters and purses his lips in embarrassment, he couldn’t get himself to say that it was because he thought that it was bringing him bad luck.

“I told you, we don’t do refunds. And what’s with the reason that you have? That’s not very sensible.” You raise your eyebrows, like you knew that he wasn’t telling you something.

“Please I can’t really take this thing home anymore” he pleads but it was still very much ineffective.

“Not until you tell us why you don’t want it anymore. I clearly remember how excited you were when you got it.” You look at him in disbelief.

“It brings me bad luck!” he blurts out, and bites his lips. He fidgets with his cuticles.

“It what?” you couldn’t help but laugh, and you knew that it was impolite to do so. But it didn’t make sense to you at all. But you purse your lips right away.

“You heard me. I’m not saying it again.” He looks down, his ears red from being flustered, and fidgets with his cuticles once again.

“Okay let’s have a deal then, you leave that item here for a day and see if anything changes. Also, if you don’t come back then I won’t be giving you your money.” You shrug, hoping to have made a decent deal with this bothered young man.

He takes a deep breath and doesn’t make eye contact. As if he did not want to agree. “Fine.” he finally lets out, and you smile.

“So it’s settled then?” You get the package from him and store it somewhere for safe keeping. You could not believe you had just agreed to this boy’s request. He was cute anyways, totally harmless.

Instantly, Chan was in a better mood. He just felt like he was lucky again, or at the very least he was back to normal. He smiles at you, and for the first time, it was blinding. Like the whole atmosphere of the store has changed. You were stunned, you could barely hear what he was saying.

He waves his hands in front of your face, and you snap out of it. “___ hello?” He calls you by your name once again and you swear it has never sounded that good. “I’ll be coming back yeah? Thanks for letting me work out this situation of mine.” He clicks his tongue, and winks. Before you knew it, he was out of your store.

-----

It was something about him returning the item that made you feel a sudden change, whether it was in you or amongst your surroundings. For some reason, you have looked forward to seeing him again, when back then you could not have cared less. Getting a crush on a customer wasn’t so practical now, was it?

Business is booming today. You watch people go in and out of the shop but the one person you hoped to see didn’t come. You anticipated his return because for the first time, you looked forward to working your shift. But you still never got his name. Good old no name.

But just when you were about to wrap things up and close the store, he catches up to the entrance. He breathes heavily and pants, the white December air escaping is lips. His throat is dry, so he swallows before he speaks. “Look, wait is it too late to get that refund?”

You sigh, you were about to lock the door already. “Well, technically yes. But since you made the effort, i’ll go and open for a bit again.” You try to hide your smile as you turn your back, but you knew that he did the same. The lights were back on and you head to the register. “So, were you lucky today?” you laugh, as if it were to be teasing him of his absurd reason yesterday.

“Y-yeah. Pretty lucky. I mean look i made it whole today.” He straightens his coat and brushes off the snow.

“If you were lucky, you wouldn’t have been late today.” you chaff, shaking your head.

“That’s a different story okay! I had to attend to something” he reasoned out.

He was adorable. You couldn’t deny that. But you loved to see him all defensive. “Okay, fine. Here you go. I’m not telling my mother about this refund so let’s just pretend it never happened or else i’ll get in trouble.” You take the cash out of the register and hand it to him.

“Your mother? Why?” He asks out of curiosity.

“We own the place so yeah. This is basically breaking the rules…” you trail off. “Anyways. I guess i won’t be seeing you again since the whole thing is sorted out now.” You don’t exactly know if you shoot your shot with what you just said.

“Who says we’ll just see each other here?” he smirks and you were taken back. Your cheeks flush bright red. He caught on.

“I work here, not really much free time with me.” you fumble with the closest thing you could get your hands on, which was a pen with a red fuzzy ball on top.

“I’m going to test my luck one last time today” He rubs his hands together and takes a deep breath.

“Huh?”

“Where are you going after this? Like after you close the store.”

“Uh, home?”

“Do you want to… perhaps get some coffee with me? Or hot chocolate, only if you’d like.” He smiles, and you’re weak on the knees.

“I’d love to.” Your cheeks were flushed but you didn’t care, he actually asked you out!

“Well I guess that’s enough luck for today. Shall we go?” He offers, but you had one last question in mind.

“I don’t even know your name.” You playfully roll your eyes and cross your arms.

“Chan. Or Chris, or… cutie whatever floats your boat.” He giggles and it was music to your ears.

[clairecrive]

“Let’s stay home”| Quarantine AU

As promised here chapter 5. I’ve made it long to apologize about posting it late. Again, I’m sorry. However, I hope you enjoy it. As always if you have any ideas or things you’d like to see happen, let me know! Next chapter, someone will make a cameo, who do you think will be?

Tag list: @deaflikehawkeye, @mollybegger-blog, @of-love-and-of-the-sea, @br0ck-eddie, @fandom--0verdose, @evelynshelby, @shadow-of-wonder, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @sopxhiea, @fuseburner (let me know if you wanna be added)

If you lost a chapter: Masterpost

Chapter 5 - “Concert”

"Oh my god, yes, yes, yes!" Her loud scream of enthusiasm was heard throughout the house alarming its guests.

"What? What's going on?!" Tommy ran out of his room out of concern regarding her screech, thinking the worst.

"What the bloody hell is going on here?" Came Alfie's annoyed grunt as he got up from the chair he was sitting on with the help of his cane. Being cooped up in the house all day wasn't helping his sciatica at all.

But Emma didn't grace either of them with an answer. Instead, she simply jumped off her bed while calling her friend on Facetime, completely clueless of the worried men that were standing outside her room waiting to know what was going on.

Squirming on her feet, failing at staying still, Emma sported a huge smile on her face while she waited for her friend to connect. Half expecting to see Bane's face popping up on the screen, Alfie thought about leaving, not wanting to repeat the other day's situation but contrary to his expectation, a female face appeared on the screen. Adjusting his position against the door so that he was more comfortable, he now was genuinely curious. It was the first time that Emma talked with a female friend. He had even begun to think that she didn't have any.

"Jen, have you heard?" She excitedly asked her friend that seemed none the wiser.

"Emma, it's literally 8 am here. You're lucky I even answered you."

"Well then, I'm about to make your day ten times better. Check the message I've sent you on Telegram."

"Can't you just tell me?" Jen's tired voice complained

"That's not fun, I'm building the suspense." Emma firmly explained waiting for Jen to do as she said.

"What do you think is going on?" Tommy asked Alfie.

"I've no idea mate. No idea." Alfie simply said, scrolling his shoulders while not removing his eyes from Emma's form.

After a couple of seconds of silence, which saw Emma grinning like a fool and Tommy and Alfie simply standing there like some clueless bodyguards, Jen's squeal brought Emma's smile only to widen while Tommy and Alfie were startled, the former losing his balance while the latter lost his grip on his cane. What the hell...

"Thank all the gods in Olympus, they've blessed us!" Jen's face reappeared on the screen now mirroring Emma's expression.

"I'm so happy Jen, you've got no idea. I really thought they were just going to refund us."

"I told you, you had to be positive about this! You never listen to me, you pessimistic bitch." Jen sassed making Alfie's eyebrows shot up and Tommy's lips to pout.

"Can you, for the love of God, tell us what's going on?" Alfie's voice prevented Emma to respond, making her finally aware of their presence in her room.

"Oh, hello boys." She simply greeted him not understanding their worried stance. When they gave her an allusive look she finally explained with a big smile.

"Harry's concert got rescheduled."

"And that's what got ya screamin like a fucking banshee?" Alfie grumbled

"Other concerts have been simply cancelled and the tickets refunded. This way we still get to see him." Now fully facing them, she elaborated.

"Fucking hell." Alfie simply muttered under his breath leaving the room. She turned to Tommy but her confusion only grew.

"Next time I hear you screaming, you better be dying." He said before leaving as well.

As confused as ever, her face resembled the question mark which made Jen laugh.

"Ugh, men," Emma joked.

"While we're on the subject, how's the living together thing going?" Jen noisily asked wiggling her eyebrows making Emma know that she was here for the tea.

"It's going well actually. So far, at least. They've been surprisingly helpful so I'm not complaining."

"You're stuck with three handsome, mouth-watering men and that's all you're going to tell me?"

"I know they're attractive Jen but nothing is going to happen. We're friends."

"If I were you, I'd walk naked all the time and hide their clothes so that they'd also have to be naked all the time. You'll see how something will happen then." Jen shared her absurd plan topping it with a suggestive wink.

"You're missing Nik, eh?" Emma affirmed more than asked knowing very well that being away from her boyfriend was really taking its toll on Jennifer.

"You've no idea. This is going to be pretty tough, not going to lie. There's only so much we can do on video chat and of course, it's not like the real thing." Her friend complained, making it very clear why she was missing her boyfriend so much. If there was something that Jennifer wasn't, it's certainly being smooth. She's the kind of person that's very upfront about things, whatever they are.

"I can imagine." Was Emma's attempt at being sympathetic. Her relationship with sex was really different, however, she could understand Jen's problem. If she had a boyfriend whom she loved as much as Jen loved Nick, maybe she'd miss the connection that comes with sex too.

"I'm here, terribly horny and suffering for this quarantine and you're standing there surrounded by dicks and you won't take advantage of it!" Jennifer loudly complained, getting cruder and cruder and Emma couldn't help but scrunch her face in horror at her friend's choice of words.

"My god Jen, get a grip on yourself girl," Emma jokingly reprimanded her, " You should have come here when I invited you then."

"Unfortunately for me, I'm awfully loyal and Nick's dick is the only one that I want. But I know that you'd have been delighted by my presence, you don't have to pretend."

"Oh damn, you got me. My life is empty without you." Emma indulged her. It wasn't completely false, she did miss the girl a lot.

"I know, I know. Listen, babe, I've gotta go, Nick's calling me. I'll talk to you later and please, think about what I've told you, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, bye Jen." Emma willingly ignored her last statement and ended the call with a nostalgic smile.

Emma was fully aware of how unconventional most of her relationships were. She never really thought about them that way, it was always people's reaction to them that made her realize how strange to an outsider might look. But to be fair, however unorthodox her relationships may seem, they were all based on mutual respect and honesty. When people asked her if it was true that she and Tommy were just friends, Emma would always be puzzled by their astonishment. Yes, they had been together. So what? Some people work better as friends. And yes, Emma wasn't blind, Tommy was sexy af but while she could admit it without shame she would also be lying if she said that she thought of being with him. Been there, done that. It didn't work so she moved on. As did he, there was an understanding between them.

Alfie was a totally different thing.

They had started off as friends but both of them felt that there was more. That there could be more. And in fact, there was. They tried it out and it was working just fine until her job cut in and ruined everything. She had to leave. And neither of them were too sure of a long-distance relationship. Alfie respected her decision, he knew how important her job was for her, how ambitious she was. But breaking up was inevitable. And so they did.

However, since there really was mutual respect and affection between them, they kept in touch. Sure, it wasn't the same thing and both of them had had different partners in the meantime, but they always found their way back to each other.

So, when it came to them, friends was a reductive word but it was better than to explain their whole relationship to some stranger every time. They would better fit under the heading "it's complicated" but a global pandemic wasn't the right time to deal with this situation and finally label their relationship. Emma knew that that was why she was ignoring Alfie's jealous remarks and Jenn's proposal. Things were already difficult, neither of them needed them to be even more complicated.

Days went on like this then: Tommy and Alfie that would bicker from time to time, always because Alfie would provoke him in some way; Eddie would jump in and either fuel their discussion or would spend his time tormenting Emma. He was surprisingly helpful though. He would go out and go shopping for necessities claiming that it was impossible for him to get infected, he would help her clean up and take care of the house. As long as he lent a hand as he was doing, Emma wouldn't complain about him pestering her. Emma and Bane would still video call every other day to keep in touch but he was unexpectedly evasive when it came to his whereabouts.

Everything was going fine. Emma knew that she was one of those who had it good, that's why she couldn't find it in herself to complain about this whole situation. However, if she could speak freely, she'd have to admit that her mood was progressively getting worse. She tried to keep a routine to keep her busy but the truth was that she was finding it harder and harder to get out of bed and do things, with each passing day.

She still tried though. Because she had taken a commitment with the other guys and had chores to do, but also because of her job. And most importantly she didn't want anyone to know that she was feeling so blue. Emma was one of those people that prefer to deal with their problems by themselves and shy away from any kind of attention when they're going through something.

Up until this day, end of week two in lockdown, she had pulled it through. For whatever reason though, this day had hit her harder than any other. Maybe it was because of the article she was supposed to write. It was about self-love, how important it is and what are the different ways one could take care of themself quarantine edition. The topic wasn't weird perse, Emma wrote frequently about this kind of stuff, it was just that she felt like a scam writing it. How could she write about self-love and ways in which people could make themselves happy, especially in these difficult times, when she was the first one who was miserably failing in doing so?

Yes, it was definitely this the reason for her sulking.

She was lying on her bed facing the ceiling with her head dangling at the end of it trying to find a way around this article that she had to write. Caught up in her thoughts, she didn't realize that the door of her room was open and that anyone passing through could see.

"Em?" Tommy's voice anchored her to reality and made her eyes snap open. However, she remained in her weird position, not bothered to lift up nor to answering him.

"What are you doing?" He walked further into the room but didn't get too close to her.

"Thinking." Emma just mumbled, scooping a little further so that her head wasn't hanging anymore. Nodding, Tommy got close to her now, and lied down beside her but facing the other way.

The reason why Emma and Tommy had stayed friends after they had hooked up, was because before that night they had actually hung out a lot. Emma was writing a piece on the tournament he was taking part in, Sparta, and had heard about him and his brother. In order to actually write the article, Emma had to speak with both of them. She didn't expect to get along so well with both of them. Not that Tommy was that much of a talker when they first met. Only a few short answers here and there and the occasional joke. However, Emma knew a little of his backstory and had also the impression that there was more to him than met the eye. He was hurt. Emma had no doubt about that. And just like her, when he was hurt talking to people was the last thing she wanted.

After coming to that realisation, dealing with Tommy became easier. He gradually opened up to her, even if it was only a little, and they got along really well. In some way, they were alike. And once you've found a soul similar to yours you tend to keep it close.

With time Tommy had learnt to read Emma just like she did with him during their first time together and come to the understanding that when Emma closed off like this, she was hurting.

He didn't say anything. He just laid there, next to her. Held her hand letting her know that he was there for her but leaving her the time to open up if she wanted to that is.

"Right, what's goin on in here?" Alfie's voice startled them both but while Tommy rolled his eyes, a little annoyed by his interruption, Emma reluctantly smiled at his antics. Sometimes, she wondered why he was so amusing to her and then realized the warmth and comfort that he brought her along with his annoying ways.

Pushing her head so that she was looking at him upside down, she smiled when she saw him standing there with his hands on his hip like an angry lady.

"Could you please stop pouting and come here and cuddle with us?"

Everyone knew that Emma was an affectionate friend. But for her to be so outspoken about it and asking for affection? It was a red sign and Alfie recognized it. So stop pouting he did and made Tommy scoop so that he could lay on her other side, holding her hand.

Their sweet cuddling session would be short because Eddie would soon be coming back from the grocery store but they all enjoyed while it lasted. Sometimes, Emma realized, the best self-love tip was simply being surrounded by our loved ones.

[long-bodyswap]

Happy Holiday Swaps

Stu and I had been talking about a vacation for some time now. It had been a couple of years since we had gone away, and the daily grind was really taking its toll on both of us. We were both always tired, and our schedules didn't allow for too much "together" time. It was making me depressed, and him grumpy. Even our sex life suffered. We barely saw each other on most days. He would get home after I went to sleep, and I would leave for work before he got up. It seemed that neither of us were ever in the mood anyway. Our lives seemed too dull for two twenty-somethings. With his waiter job my job at the department store, we really couldn't afford to go anywhere, but we really needed to get away. After rearranging our schedules and getting friends to cover for us, we were able to get 2 weeks off at the same time. We also managed to save a little money over the past year, but it would not be enough for a fun vacation to someplace like New York or San Francisco. A one-week stay at a hotel room alone would practically cost more that what we had saved. We decided that we needed to find some cheaper plan for a vacation.

One night after Stu got off of work, we decided to just sit down and look for the affordable vacation. We bought a few local newspapers and scoured the ads in the travel section and the classifieds. Heck, maybe we can find a courier flight to London or Paris, or maybe find someone who needs to have their Winnebago driven cross-country. We went through the ads. Nothing seemed very interesting. The courier flights were affordable, but none of the services could get us two seats on the same day to anywhere we wanted to go. Just when we thought that we wouldn't find anything, Stu spotted a tiny ad in the local gay rag. It read "Happy Holiday Swaps. Cheap vacations to anywhere in the US. Stay at someone else's house, and they stay in yours! NO HOTEL COSTS! Transport very affordable. Call for appointment. Gay friendly." We were both very excited. It was the perfect answer! We can swap apartments with someone and save on the hotel costs. Why didn't we think of this before? We both looked at each other with excitement but then I noticed that his face was slowly unwinding from his smile. "Yeah, but Rick, who would want to come here? This is the most boring town in the world," he said. "There must be people wanting to come here, I mean they DID put the ad in the local paper, didn't they? And plus, there is a small but thriving gay scene here. Maybe some people just want to get away from the big city," I answered optimistically. "Let me make an appointment to go down there tomorrow after work and see how much this whole thing costs, and whether or not we can get a trade to someplace fun. With that, we went to bed. We were so excited that neither of us could sleep... it was the best sex we had had in months.The directions that the man gave over the phone seemed unnecessarily complicated. Left turn here. Right turn there. Left turn here. Another left turn there. Couldn't he just give the address? I finally ended up in a small alley in the gay part of town. It was very unfamiliar and I was glad that he gave me such detailed directions. I didn't know half of these streets existed in the small city that we lived in.The storefront was tiny and kind of run-down. It did have an old world charm about it, so I opened the door. 

As I walked in, our friend Craig was excitedly hurrying out of the shop. He must have gotten a great vacation deal, since he didn't even stop to say "Hi."The man behind the desk looked up and said, "Hello! You must be Rick." He was a strangely handsome 40ish man. He had a pleasantly chipper demeanor, which was in contrast to his strong build and tattoos. His short salt and pepper hair was poorly groomed, in a way that reminded me of a mad-scientist. He had a very familiar look about him. "I'm Raymond Schenkel. I'll be your travel coordinator. You can call me Ray. So," he continues. "You want to have fabulous vacation?""Yeah, but we really don't have too much money to spend. We really want to go someplace fun." I said."Well, just fill out these forms. You said ‘we.' Are you planning to travel with your lover?" Ray asked."Yeah, his name is Stu." I replied."Oh, then you'll have to fill out a questionnaire for him as well. We have to make sure that we find the right match, you know," he said as he handed me a second set of papers. "So when do you plan to travel?" he asked."A week from tomorrow, and we'd like to stay for two weeks." I said."Hmmm. Two weeks might be hard to find. Most people only want one week at a time. Let me see what I have." He turned to his computer and started tapping away.As I was filling out the forms, I noticed that some of the questions were quite personal, like questions personal habits, personal hygiene, and social behavior. I guess all this was important if we were going to stay in someone else's house. In fact, I'd like to know myself that the people staying in our apartment would be clean."How much is this going to cost us?" I asked."We have a flat fee of $500 per person for a round trip." He replied.$500 didn't sound like such a good deal. Booking airfare ourselves online to our destination would cost less. But I guess it works out by not having to pay for a hotel room. Ray noticed my reaction at the price."Satisfaction guaranteed. If you're not happy, we will refund 100% your money. No questions asked." He said confidently.Comforted by that, I nodded and said, "OK" as I finished the forms."OK, then," he said smiling with a sense of accomplishment. 

"I've found some possible trades. Let me run the questionnaires through the computer to find the best matches." He said as I handed him the forms. He scanned the pages in and let the computer compute for a couple of seconds. "It looks like I don't have any two week trades starting next week, but I have two one week trades. I won't charge you for the transportation to the second one, since I couldn't find you a two week trade. The first one is to San Francisco for a week, and then the second one is to San Antonio.""Great! That's like having two vacations for the price of one! So how does this all work? Do we have to leave you with our keys? How do we get to.." I started with excitement."They way this works is somewhat... unconventional." He inturrupted, then pausing. I knew this whole situation was too good to be true. "You have to keep an open mind." He continued. "The way it's going to work is that you will actually trade places with another couple.""I realize that." I said, slightly annoyed. "That's how we save on hotel costs.""No," he interrupted, "you literally trade places. You and Stu will be swapping bodies with a couple in San Francisco. You and Stu will be in their bodies there, and they will be in your bodies here.""This is ridiculous. How stupid do you think I am?" I said. I got up to leave this Ray quack before things got out of hand."Rick, wait. I know how this must sound. Most people react the same way." He said. He pulled out his wallet and showed me his driver's license. It read, "Robert Walters.""So what?" I sneered, "You make fake I.D.s, too. Is that supposed to make me trust you better?" And then it dawned on me. 

The person standing in front of me looked Bobby Walters. He used to be the bouncer at Woody's Bar years ago. He kind of disappeared from the bar scene, saying that he found a much better gig."Bobby? Is this what you're doing these days? Running scams?" I said in disbelief."No. You see, I'm not Bobby. I'm Raymond, in Bobby's body. Your friend Bobby is working in our office in Minneapolis, in my body. The company let's the employees use the service for free among themselves. In fact, they encourage it." Ray explained.Now that I was thinking about it, it began to seem plausible. The man in front of me really didn't feel like Bobby, although he looked like Bobby. And that would explain why Craig didn't say hello. "So, the guy that was leaving as I walked in... he wasn't Craig?""That's a young fellow from the Philly, and he swapped with you friend Craig for a few days. I see that you're not quite convinced." Ray said."Well, you have to admit, this sounds really far fetched. I just need some definite proof. How do I know that you're not Bobby? How can I be sure you're just not some con artist?" I said."Well, let's see..." He thought about it for a moment. "I have a way to prove to you. I'll give you a demo. Let's go into the back," he said. I was a little skeptical, but I figured it couldn't hurt.We walked through the door at the back of the room into a much larger, clean and bright room with a lot of strange equipment. 

"Sit here." He directed me to a comfortable reclining chair. It was like a dentist's chair, but with a little more gear around the head area. He put a couple of electrodes on my temples and said, "Now just stay calm. It helps if you close your eyes." He sat in a similar chair across from me and pushed a bunch of buttons at the controls. I closed my eyes and waited for something to happen.I was beginning to feel foolish now since nothing was happening. For all I know, this Bobby or Ray or whoever he is could have just bailed while my eyes were closed. I was sitting there for almost a minute now and was getting really impatient. I heard Ray get up and walk over towards my chair. I opened my eyes and said, "What kind of fool do you think I..." 

Everything was blurry but was slowly coming into focus. To my complete surprise, I saw a handsome twenty something with short brown hair in front of me. I saw myself walking towards me! I looked down at my body as saw a muscular bar bouncer. "What the hell?" I said and noticed that my voice was coarse and low."Are you convinced yet?" Ray said in my voice. "Hey, Rick, you have really nice body," he continued as he was feeling his stomach and his chest. "Your guests will be very happy with the swap.""Wow! This is incredible! I'm actually in Bobby the Bouncer's body!" I got up out of the chair and immediately fell down."Whoa!" Ray said, helping me back onto the chair. "This is your first time swapping. You have to take a couple of minutes getting used to the new body. First, extend your left arm out in front of you."I did, but slowly. It felt like I was in a swimming pool or something."Now make a fist, and flex your arm," he directed.I did. I was a little shaky, like I had been drinking tons of coffee. But I finally brought my arm in. "This feels awesome." I said in wonderment."Your mind has to learn how to communicate with the new body. It only takes a coule of minutes" He explained. We did a few more exercises with the left arm, and then the right arm, and then some leg stretches. Everything was feeling more normal now and I was no longer shaky. "OK. Now slowly stand up."I got up and stretched. "Wow! This is just unbelievable!" I rubbed my chest and then looked at the tattoos on the arms. I pulled up my shirt to see a tight six-pack. Just beyond the waistline I could see my hard-on bulging under the jeans. This was so hot! I rubbed my penis and it grew even larger. I felt a little dirty, like I was doing violating Ray, or cheating on Stu or something, so I stopped. But I sure didn't want to. "I'm convinced!" I looked over at Ray to find him playing with his face in front of the mirror. I saw that he had a hard-on also, with my penis. "Does everyone who does this swap thing get so... excited?" I asked looking at his bulge."Well, most gay men do. Especially if the host body is cute." He winked at himself in the mirror. He started to rub his growing bulge and said to me, "Wow. Your body is so cute!" He undid his pants and took out his penis and started to jerk off."Hey wait a minute! What are you doing to me!" I screeched."Don't worry, Rick. I'm not doing anything to you. I'm doing it to your body, which you lent to me." He explained. "Ooh. This feels so good." He moaned. He was stroking his dick with one hand and rubbing his body with the other I watched Ray continue until he came. He shot cum all over the mirror."I had no idea how hot I looked doing that!" I said. I could feel my penis was now throbbing inside my jeans."You are allowed to freely do what you want in that body, just as the guest in your body can do what he wants." He said looking at my "excitement".I walked over to the mirror and unbuttoned my 501 jeans and pulled out an erect 8 inch penis. 

Watching myself as someone else in the mirror was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I watched myself as I started to stroke my penis. Ray walk over to lend me a hand. "No, don't." I said, "It would be too weird." I explained. I rubbed my face and ran my fingers through my hair, through Bobby's hair. I looked at my arms and my large hands wrapped around my penis. This was the most erotic experience I had ever had. The more I thought about it, the harder my penis got. The harder my penis got, the faster I stroked. I looked over at the mirror at my reflection, at the image of Bobby, and shot my load on top of Ray's.We cleaned up the mess we made and swapped back. We went back out to the front room and sat down."If you are interested, we can book the trip. It will take a day to confirm with the other office, and then we'll be all set." Ray said.I eagerly handed him my credit card and said, "Let's do it!""Great!" He ran the card through the machine and punched in a bunch of numbers into the computer and printed out a stack of pages. "Here is the contract and terms of use. Please read over this, as it covers what you can and cannot do in the host body, and what you will allow your guests to do in your bodies. Sign it and bring it with you on your date of travel. Needless to say, you don't need to pack anything. If you want, we can ship some things to the San Francisco office prior to your arrival."We shook hands and I happily went home unable to contain my excitement. I couldn't wait to tell Stu about our vacation.

[the-insanely-cool-connor-mu-blog]

Pretty (Soulmate!AU)

Part 1 bc tumblr’s a bitch

A/N: This is the long one I was talking about sorry it’s shit though

Word Count (for the whole thing): 2154 (ooh boy)

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Swearing

Soulmates. Everyone knew they were your other half, your perfect counterpart. Everyone was born with a soulmark on their wrist dictating the first thing their soulmate would say to them. Yours was I can’t just talk to a pretty girl like that! Which was kinda sweet, you’d once thought. But then you’d realized your soulmate was probably going to be talking about some other girl. So after that, you kind of gave up on finding your soulmate. You just lived normally and didn’t let it bother you. Well, you tried to not let it bother you.

It was late Thursday evening, and you were working your last shift at the local Wendy’s. The place was pretty empty except for a couple of guys in a booth talking to each other. They were both making exaggerated gestures and seemed to be having a pretty heated argument. Finally one of them got up.

“I can’t just talk to a pretty girl like that!” the shorter one of the two muttered, walking past you to put his empty cup in the trash. You barely even registered what he had said. He was... actually super fucking cute, which was just great. There were no other girls here, so you realized he must be talking about you.

“Actually, I wouldn’t mind if you talked to me,” you called out. Oh shit, did I just say that, he’s going to think I’m weird. Why did I do that?

He stopped in his tracks and turned around.

Oh God he thinks I’m a freak.

But he just stood there in shock.

And then it hit you. What he’d said. Oh God I’m an idiot.

His friend was smiling and giving him two giant thumbs up from their table. He rolled down his sleeve in silent disbelief, revealing the words:

Actually, I wouldn’t mind if you talked to me

You rolled down your own sleeve to show the words that had come out of his mouth just seconds earlier:

I can’t just talk to a pretty girl like that!

You both stood there awkwardly for a few seconds.

“I, uh, I’m Jeremy,” he stammered, shoving his glasses back up his nose.

“Y/N.”

“Well, uh it’s nice to meet you, Y/N.” He glanced over to his friend, who was miming writing something down. He nodded and, quickly grabbing a pen out of his pocket and scribbling something down, turned back to you.

“Here’s my number, if you wanna, like, talk or something,” he mumbled as he handed the paper to you, suddenly nervous all over again.

You smiled. “Yeah, I think I will.”

Jeremy and his friend left and you kept grinning. You’d finally found your soulmate!

Once your shift was done, you texted your best friend Zoe:

met cute guy @ work!

and he’s my soulmate!

AND i got his number!

Oh my God Y/N that’s amazing!

Wish I could meet my soulmate

don’t be so sad, zo! you’ll find your soulmate!

...i sound like the sappiest person alive

No you don’t, I just wish I could meet my soulmate sooner

you’ll find them!! now go to sleep, it’s like 10

Yes ma’am

You went to bed, though you wondered when you would see Jeremy again.

He came back a few days later, but this time his glasses were gone and he was wearing an Eminem t-shirt. He seemed to carry a new cocky swagger in his step, and you weren’t sure what to think of it.

“Eminem? Are people still into him?” you asked. You laughed at your own criticality, not waiting for him to respond. “I wouldn’t know anyway, my taste in music isn’t exactly.. mainstream.”

“Like, indie music and stuff?” He was still clueless as ever.

“More like musicals.” You immediately cringed, expecting him to laugh at you.

Instead, he just nodded. “Cool.”

“You lost the glasses,” you said, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

“Yeah, they, uh—“ Jeremy stopped mid sentence, a look of intense pain on his face. “Are you okay?” you asked worriedly.

“Fine,” he choked out, “I’m perfectly fine.”

You frowned. He didn’t look fine. But he obviously didn’t want to talk about it.

“I don’t have any contacts, and I’m really nearsighted, so that’s a fun thing,” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

You laughed lightly. “Cool, what can I get you?”

“Actually, I’m not getting anything. Just wanted to say hi.”

“Oh. Okay,” you said, bobbing your head up and down. And with that, he left, leaving you confused and bewildered.

One day he came with a pretty girl who you assumed was his girlfriend. You felt a pang of jealousy as you tapped at the register.

Every time he stuttered or went to scratch his neck, he immediately sat bolt upright as if he had been shocked. The girl noticed too, and had to leave halfway through the date, something about not wanting to miss play rehearsal. Jeremy slumped back in his seat, disappointed.

You couldn’t help but wonder if somehow he’d forgotten about you. You were his soulmate, after all. You’d always assumed that when you met your soulmate, you would immediately click and be inseparable, two halves of a whole. That you would always have him close by. But he was right here, and somehow he felt farther away than ever.

He didn’t come in for a few weeks after that, and you were beginning to get worried. You quickly typed up a text on your way driving home from work.

hey are you okay

The response came a few minutes later.

Yeah, I should be out of the hospital any day now

The hospital? Fuck, had something happened? Your mind raced with possibilities, each worse than the last. You typed another message, hoping to ease your anxiety.

jeremy?

why are you in the hospital?

It’s a long story but basically there were these like tic tacs that help you to be cool and they’re from Japan and mine kind of tried to take over all of human civilization so yeah

You frowned. What the actual, genuine fuck?

jeremy what the fuck

Obviously some really weird shit was going down. You swerved your car around in a Uturn to get to the hospital. You kept your eyes trained on the road, while a notification lit up your phone screen out of the corner of your eye.

I told you it was a long story!

Stopping at a red light, you quickly typed a reply.

yeah no shit

jesus christ

at least you’re okay

How did you know I was MIA anyway?

you haven’t shown up at wendy’s for four weeks

Honestly I just went there to see you the food is kinda shitty

You pulled up to the ER parking lot.

yeah lmao

but seriously

why didn’t you just ask me out once we figured out we were soulmates?

You didn’t wait for a response, already getting out of your car and slamming the door shut. Your phone lit up again with the notifications.

I was scared, I guess

I mean, it’s just you are literally the person the universe destined me for, no pressure or anything

I just didn’t want to try and then screw this up

You responded as you walked into the ER waiting room.

no i get it

it’s kinda intense

but since we’re kinda destined for each other and all

wanna go to lunch on sunday?

I don’t even know if I’ll be out of here by then

“I’m looking for Jeremy Heere?” you asked the receptionist. She nodded, finished her phone call, and typed something up.

“What is your relation to him?” she asked, her attention flickering back to you.

“Significant other,” you said, even though you’d never actually been on a date. But you were his soulmate, and that must have counted for something, right?

“He’s in Room 102, dear,” she smiled.

“Great, thanks,” you almost shouted, already running to his room. You burst through the door and found Jeremy.

He looked so fragile attached to all the tubes and wires. There were dark bags under his eyes, and his glasses were back.

“Oh my god are you okay?” You asked, taking a tentative step towards him.

He cracked a brief smile. “Oh, no, definitely not,” he quipped.

“So,” you said, perching on the edge of the bed, “what the everloving fuck is a Squip?”

He spent the next half hour explaining the whole situation. The Halloween party, the Squip, the play. All of it. When he finally finished you whispered, “Holy shit.”

“Yeah. I understand if you wanna, like, never talk to me again or something,” he mumbled.

“Why would I do that?”

“Why wouldn’t you? I literally almost doomed the entire human race. You deserve a better soulmate.”

“No, I don’t. You’re amazing. You’re smart and funny and really cute. Besides, I don’t think there are refunds on soulmates. Maybe we could catch a movie?”

He smiled a little. “Yeah. I’ll text you as soon as I get out.”

“I’ll see you then,” you said, leaving the room.

Three days later you got a text from Jeremy.

I’m out of the hospital

finally!

So, um

I was thinking we could see a movie tonight?

sounds good!

your choice!

pick me up @ 9

You don’t have to if you don’t want to

Oh lol

You sat on your couch, tapping your foot as you watched the clock. Eight fifty-seven, eight fifty-eight, eight fifty-nine, nine.

You glanced at the door. He was almost here, hopefully, definitely not standing you up...

The doorbell rang, and you sprang up and ran to it in a flash of nervous energy. You opened the door, grinning, to find Jeremy standing there looking about as nervous as you felt.

“Is it gonna be weird if my dad drives us?” he asked gesturing to the unfamiliar car in the driveway.

“It’s fine.”

He relaxed. “Okay, cool, good.”

You two were a bit squished together in the backseat, and Jeremy’s dad made some remark about how happy he was his son found his soulmate. The ride was overall a bit awkward, but you chatted with Jeremy. Turned out you went to the same school—what were the odds?

Mr. Heere pulled up to the theatre. “Welp, this is where I leave you kiddos. Have fun!” he called as you stepped out. You couldn’t wait to see what movie Jeremy had picked.

When you looked at the tickets you found, surprisingly enough, it was a romcom. You teased him about it a bit. He just shrugged and said, “I always like a good love story.”

“Okay, dude,” you laughed, buttering the popcorn.

At one point during the movie, you laughed exceptionally loudly at a pun that was so bad it was fucking hilarious. Jeremy couldn’t really pay attention to the movie, though. He was more focused on your bright smile and beautiful laugh. You swore it was the ugliest laugh ever, but to him, it was angelic, like tinkling bells. You noticed him looking at you.

“What?” you asked, a bit defensive.

“Um, can, can I kiss you?” he asked anxiously, sure you’d say no.

“Yeah,” was all you could think to say.

And he kissed you, and honestly you had no clue what you were doing, you just knew this was right, somehow. You pulled back eventually, your face bright red. Jeremy noticed and went almost as red as you.

“I’m sorry, was that bad? I don’t really—“ he started to ramble, only to be cut off by you.

“No, it’s just, I’ve never, y’know, done that before,” you admitted.

“Seriously? How?”

“This might shock you, but being who I am, I don’t exactly have a line of guys falling at my feet. Let’s just—watch the movie, okay?”

He nodded. “Okay.”

“No Fault In Our Stars references.”

“That’s fair.”

Soon enough the credits rolled around. You couldn’t quite remember when, but at some point, engrossed in the movie, you had slipped your hand into Jeremy’s. Neither of you had let go yet.

“Now that I know you like chick flicks, does this mean you wanna watch The Notebook next time?” you joked as you two walked out of the theatre, your hands still intertwined.

He made a face. “Definitely not.”

You giggled. “Okay, okay,” you said, throwing your free hand up in mock defeat.

“My dad’s gonna drive us back, too.”

[classlesstulip]

  Alright, I mentioned a while back that if anyone was interested, I would post some of the things that didn’t make it into my fic’s and the like. HERE’S THE FIRST ONE!

This particular one is how “Sugar Daddy” was going to start.

He was exhausted, irritated, angry, frustrated, and he felt like his head was about to explode. From the moment he woke up, Julian's day had been shit. This was just the icing on top of the shit cake.

     Last night, he and his now-ex had broken up. He had suspicions for a while that she was cheating and it was confirmed in the most explosive way possible.

     It's not every day that you catch your girlfriend snogging a guy at the bar you WORK at. Or you call her phone, have her deny it, and continue to do so even when you're both staring the other straight in the eye from across the bar. After having at it, he tossed her shit out. By that point, it was near 4am and they had attracted the whole floor of the apartment building.

     Thinking that was that, he essentially took a short nap before getting up for his Epidemiology lecture. After, he had to rush to his residency, getting stuck in the subway when power to the car went out. Getting chewed out by the Ward Director, he got vomited on, along with a volunteer accidentally spilling a tray of urine samples all over him.

     Suffice to say, one would think that things couldn't get worse. Alas, one would be so very wrong. Because that night the bar was packed because of a late-running football match, and Millwall fans are fucking dicks.

     After everything that happened, he decided to treat himself. Picking up a curry, he made his way to his unit just to find some stranger knocking on the door. Thinking they were looking for someone and had gotten lost, Julian decided to do a good deed and help the poor guy out…

     ...just to find out his ex had signed him up on every hook-up site and app she could find, posting his personal ADDRESS for anyone to see.

     He should just go back to Russia.

***

     Rubbing his eyes, he flopped back onto his bed, laptop balanced between crossed legs. On the glowing screen was his open email, message after message and advert after advert for different ‘mingling’ sites displayed.

     Grindr, Tinder, Bumble, the whole shebang. Literally dozens, including ones he didn't even think existed.

     (Some guy named GoatBoy69 on pissparty.com keeps emailing him, wanting Julian to ‘let loose’ all over his chest while he gets railed by his boyfriend. Julian just wants to vanish into the ether.)

     Hearing another chime chirp from his computer, he groaned in emotional agony. Every five minutes he got something from one of the sites, the most active one being a hardcore BDSM sugar baby finder. It hasn't even been a full day since their breakup and he literally has a hundred messages from this site alone.

     Julian would be lying to himself if he said that having a bunch of rich people want to bone him and pay his tuition wasn't a powertrip. Any other time he would be gloating. But, considering he hadn't signed up in the first place, he was just frustrated.

     Another chime coincided with a knock at the door. Sighing in tired resignation he went to answer, ready to repeat his spiel once again. Flinging open the door, he saw no-one before looking down.

     A short woman stood there, dressed in a power suit that probably cost more than what he made in a year. Her long mahogany hair was pulled up in a bun, and she had dark eyes. Like a few others before her, she held a duffle bag that no doubt held all sorts of sordid sex toys.

     For some reason, this was the last straw. All of the anger, frustration, and just downright sadness hit him all at once.

     Something must have shown on his face because her expression turned from one of controlled flirtation to concern in an instant. She shuffled him back into the apartment, set him down in his breakfast nook, and made him a cup of tea.

     “From the look on your face, this was not your doing, hmm?” She had a nice voice, lower than most women. It was soothing to his frayed nerves.

     “Ah, no, um, miss. It was not, Prew, my ex-” she held out a hand, cutting him off.

    “Say no more. And let me guess? She signed you up for everything under the sun?”

     Julian could only give a subdued nod, sipping his tea. He had curled his long fingers around the stoneware, trying to suck in the warmth it provided. “I emailed most other sites, explaining what happened. They've, ah, been very understanding. Along with my bank. Some sites had a registration fee. I didn't know until one mentioned a refund.” Checking his account balance nearly gave him a heart attack; he only had £5.84 to get him through the rest of the week.

     And it was only Tuesday.

     She hummed. “Have you seen the pictures?”

     His heart stopped.

     Pictures. Prew had posted PICTURES!

     His guest sighed. “I'll take that as a no. Here,” pulling out her phone, she tapped the screen a few times before passing it to him. On it, he could ‘see’ his profile.

     Username: CumDump069

     Sex: Male

     Gender: Male

     Orientation: Everyone and everything ;)

     Tribe: Hard bottom, sissy

     Looking for: Someone to boss me around and hurt me hard! ;lick emoji;

     His face went red when it got to the kinks section. Some were actually quite truthful, while others were quite disgusting.

     (Now he knows why GoatBoy is so interested in him.)

     His heart stopped at the pictures. Some were quite innocent. One was from their day at the beach a few weeks back. The others were personal. Things that should have been kept between them.

     (A small part of him was puzzled; the ‘Mods Favorite’ pic was taken of his shirtless back as he sprawled in bed. Others were more risqué, so why is this a fave?)

     Glimpsing through some of the comments, he passed her phone back with a snort of disgust. “No, I hadn't. Those were personal, just between us.” He felt hollow, violated. Another muffled chime was heard. Julian sighed, cupping his face and leaning on his elbows.

     “Hmm, give me a minute. Oh, the name's Lucille, by the way.” Tapping on her phone again, she placed a call. It only rang through for a few moments before getting picked up. A man's voice could be heard, but it was too quiet for Julian to hear what he said.

     “Hey, Ty. What's going on?” Some gibberish. “I know, I know. In fact, I'm sitting in front of him. Thing is, he didn't do it.” An incredulous sound. “Mhmm, ex-girlfriend. Think you can help out?” An affirmative sound, followed by a few more sentences. Lucille turned to him, “do you mind if I put this on speaker? Ty just wants to ask you a few questions.”

     “Why not? My weeks already ruined.”

     “Awwww, don't be like that. Ty's pretty good at taking care of things. A total Daddy. And you,” she gave him a slow once over, a smirk pulling at her lips, “look like someone Daddy needs to take care of.” Before Julian could sputter out a denial, she put the phone on speaker.

     “Hello?”

     Julian went redder than a brick house. Lucille snorted, not missing the effect such a dark and growly voice had on him. “He-hello? I'm, uh, Julian. Thank you for helping me?” Dear lord above, he hopes the other didn't hear his voice crack.

     “It's no problem, sweetheart. Us kinkster's take things like consent seriously. Now, do you have your computer in front of you? I'm going to be doing some things to your account before we close it.”

     Dashing to get his laptop, he plunked it down before sitting. Navigating to the site's main page, he gave an affirmative.

     “Nice. So, I'm going to start by locking your profile and changing the username. Afterward, it'll get wiped of your info and a disclaimer put up. Then, it'll be left as is for a few days so word will get spread of just what happened. A week later and it'll disappear like magic.”

     “Question. Why leave it up, and not just delete it?”

     “Well, your ex probably has you on a couple of different sites, and our community isn't just limited to using just one. This is the quickest way to spread word and have others keep an eye out. As it is, some of your info is already on the deep web.”

     Julian's heart sank.

     “Unfortunately, honey, the damage is done. All we can do is control. Lucky for you,” Lucille threw him a saucy wink, “a lot of us who use the site have some power and influence. We can keep quiet a bit of your info out of the wrong hands.”

     “I'll also give you my personal number, in case some people won't take no for an answer. I'm not worried about our members acting...improper, so much as the damned vanilla community. Fuckers don't understand that no means no.” Ty rattled off a number, one that had an international code.

     After a few moments of silence, Julian then saw his profile change. All the photos and info vanished. Stuck to the top of the page was a banner, disclaiming this page as being a ‘compromised account, not to be pursued’ with a small screenshot of what had been listed. Another beat later and his eyebrows vanished into his hairline; a multi-paragraph legal disclaimer popped up, stating things like ‘impersonation’, ‘distribution of personal assets’, ‘revenge pornography’, and a list of sites that are also on the lookout.

     This guy has done more to stop and fix the issue than his bank did. And when he called the police, he got laughed at.

     “So, that's that. Now for a profile name. You want anything in particular? Unfortunately, I can't leave it blank. The foundational coding throws a fit if left blank.”

     “If you let him pick, he'll go with something cutesy. Don't do it.”

     “I am beyond the point of caring. I'm tired. I'm hungry. My day has been shit. He can call me ‘kitten’ for all I care.”

     “Mmmhhhh, so if I pet you, will you purr for me?” Ty's voice went darker, a strong heat coming through. Julian covered his face as he groaned in mortification. The other let out a rumbly chuckle. “Gotta say, babe, may want to be careful. You can give a guy ideas…”

     “Tiberius. Leave him alone.”

     “*snort* Oh, you're no fun anymore. Fine, I'll leave sweetheart alone.” A few beats of silence, Ty grumbling under his breath. “There. Got you a new name and everything. I've put extra security on your account in case your ex tries anything. I'll send it to your email. I've also taken care of your registration fee. It's been marked as expedited, so it should be in your account by morning.”

***

     Lucille left after everything was wrapped up, also leaving her number as well. Feeling much lighter than before, Julian slept soundly. His good luck must have carried over because his classes the next day were canceled due to a burst pipe, and his supervisory doctor, Dr. Satrinava left him a message to have the day off, he looked like hell.

     Having a day off for the first time in a while let him do some much-needed housekeeping. Starting a load of laundry, he tackled the dishes as it ran. Looking into his fridge and pantry reminded him he needed to do some needed grocery shopping. Wondering about what he had to work with, he opened his banking app. He wasn't expecting much, knowing that refunds take a few days to process. He just needs enough to get by until the weekend. Seeing his checking account, he nearly dropped his phone, fingers going numb.

     There was £5,000 in his account. He didn't even have a full £1,000 the day before this bullshitfest started, having just paid his rent and utilities. Where the fuck did this come from?

     Heart going mad, he looked through his recent transactions. The usual deductions were clear as day, and he could pinpoint the start of Prew's transgressions. Scrolling through, he made a mental note to email a few other sites he must have missed. Coming to today, there was only one thing posted.

     March 22nd, 2018 (Con't):

       www.darkdelights.com

                               -£99.99

       www.ashleymadison.com

                               -£19.99

       www.sugarandsting.com

                              -£100.00

     March 23, 2018

       www.sugarandsting.com

                           +£100.00

       Roman Financial

                           +£6000.00

       Account Balance: +£5007.45

     Sinking into his kitchen chair, he gave a shaking exhale. This must be a mistake. There is no way that that money is his. He doesn't even know of a Roman Financial!

***

     One panic attack and several hours of being on hold later, and Julian had a few answers. The transfer came directly from a personal bank account. Getting passed around to different levels of the fraud department revealed that the individual called in the transfer and had Julian's account info. Put on hold again, the investigator called Roman for further inquiries. Getting patched into a conference call, the personal accountant of the originator confirmed that yes, it's legit, no, no need for thanks, it's a gift, and will he be okay for right now or does he need more funds until everything is sorted out?

     (Julian is embarrassed to admit that he made a sound not unlike an angry teakettle when asked that. He swears he heard the accountant smother a laugh.)

     Finishing up the call, he had an internal battle with himself. He knows for a fact that the money has to have come from someone who was a member of one of the ‘sugar baby’ websites. Two of the ones he was signed up for had a listing for a checking account, but both were to what must be Prew's account.

     Which means a moderator had to have done it. The question is, why? Is it hush money? Is it a bribe? Settlement?

     Or is someone making good on picking him up as a sugar baby? If so, is he spending this money (on greatly needed essentials, granted) implying his agreement to such an arraignment?

     He'll need to call Ty on this.

***

     Fixing up a cuppa, he curled up on the couch. Wrapping a blanket around his shoulders, Julian scrolled through his phone before selecting Ty's number. Listening to it ring through, he hoped he didn't wake the other. International numbers can be so unpredictable.

     “Mrrh’lo?” A rough, gravelly voice rumbled through the speaker. Julian winced, knowing that he did, indeed wake the other man.

     “Ah, sorry to wake you, Ty,” he felt so guilty. “But, um, something came up and Lucille made a comment last night that leads me to believe you can answer it and ohgodI'msorryto-”

     “Nah, calm down, sweetheart. I've shoulda woke hours ago,” a loud yawn could be heard in the background. “What's goin’ on, babe?”

     “...what's sugar baby etiquette?”

     “Ooooh, you lookin’ for a Daddy? I'm available if you're interested. I know I certainly am.”

     Redder than a hydrant, Julian explained. He stumbled and started a few times, not being familiar with being so frank. He'll flirt up a storm, tease you nice and good, but being this blunt? 

     Never heard of her.

     “Eh, if the accountant says not to worry, then don't. You would have been told directly and in no certain terms what's going on. Hell, a signed contract needs to be established before the relationship can go. If they try to goad you into this, using the money as an excuse, call me. Our site has a top-notch team of rabid lawyers.”

     Julian felt himself relax. It's not normal to trust a literal stranger this much after everything that happened, but he has no real choice. It also helps that neither Lucille or Ty are twigging his ‘Stranger Danger’ alarm.

     Hearing a chime from his laptop, he opened it. Among the now-familiar deluge of mailbox porn was a friend request.

     “I've sent you a request. My handle on Sugar and Sting is ‘NightmareFuel’. A few members are feeling a little worried, so if you're open to it, I can make your profile interactive.”

     Julian was left feeling speechless. He's lived in Cambridge for nearly four years, going back home to Kursk rarely. He has few friends this far from home, despite the efforts of Dr. Satrinava, and his ex-girlfriend is doing her best to make him miserable.

     And here is a group of rich, kinky bastards who want to make sure he's okay.

***

     During dinner, he accepted both the request and decided to make his profile public. Within minutes, he had over a dozen requests, each attached to a message asking how he was doing. Composing himself, he accepted and responded to a few. One linked to a ‘Misc.’ chat board, saying it was kink-free and a good hangout. Logging in, he was bombarded with a variety of greetings, both typed and voice. Dozens of men and women, sounding like they came from all over the world, were treating him like an old friend.

     Sweetheart: Hello? It's nice to meet you all.

     BangCOCK!: finally! fresh MEAT!

     FuckBoysGet$$$: dont you fcuking start

     Snek_Boops: Hello! (waves)

     Qween: Good evening.

     Sweetheart: Wait what? Why is this my handle?

     BangCOCK!: (looking @ Fuel)

     FuckBoysGet$$$: (looking @ Fuel)

     Qween: (looking @ Fuel)

     Snek_Boops: Fuel did it!

     NightmareFuel: fuck all u motherfuckers suck my dick

     Fuck you, Ty. Fuck. You.

***

     The next few months, school really ramped up. He was moved to the labs, analyzing samples and diagnosing illnesses. The bar finally got another bartender on hand, along with additional bouncers, lightening his load significantly.

     Things with Prew continued to go downhill. He had changed the locks a few days after she left but isn't able to move until his lease is up. He may still be stuck there because not many other buildings have flats within his budget. He's trying to find a better job, but not many places offer good pay and are willing to work around his schedule. Dr. Satrinava is putting out word to her colleagues, but not many are in the market for a student that still has another three years to go before being a fully viable employee.

     At least once a week some rando will show up, knocking on his door. Most left him alone when told what's going on, one revealing they found his info on a fucking bathroom stall. A few tried to get handsy regardless. He's already had to send some off with broken noses, one with a broken arm. Last week, he punched a guy so hard that he dislocated his finger along with the guy's teeth.

     (Dr. Satrinava gave him the most disappointed look he's received from anyone other than his mother. Due to his splint, he's been relegated to ‘File Boy’.)

     His resolve is starting to wear thin. He needs to get out, he needs sleep, and he needs a job that will give him the flexibility required to continue his education. He's thought of asking Ty and the others if they know of anyone willing to hire him, but he doesn't want to lean on them too much. Two already are helping him understand some of the weirder concepts of evolutionary biology.

     Looking at his bank account again, Julian sighed. He may not have a choice. Tapping a well-known contact, he shot off a text. Getting a skype invite back, he opened his laptop before launching the app. Putting on his headphones, a wave of nervousness washed over him: with only one exception, all interactions between himself and Ty had someone else present in some way. Granted, they talk nearly every day through Sugar and Sting's chat function but never solo. Until now.

     “So, you said you needed a better job?”

     Julian jumped, having drifted off. That same low heat pooled in his gut, a familiar friend that comes around every time he hears Ty's voice. “Ah, um, yes. Prew has scrawled my address on many, um, loo stalls and it's just, just-”, he gasped, exhaustion and fear collapsing over his chest. “I just can't take it anymore. I can't sleep, my job sucks, I've had to fight off sever-” Ty cut him off.

     “Fight? People have tried to hurt you!? You should have called me when this started! *sigh* Sweetheart, when I said call me if you need help, I meant it. Shit like what your cunt ex did can last for months, if not years. Just…*grumbles*.”

     Julian's chest felt tight. “Sorry. I didn't mean to anger you. It's just…”

     “Haaaa, I know. And I'm not angry at you. Just the situation. When this started happening I did a bit of background on you, and having such a good, hardworking person get dicked over by some self-perceived princess gets me mad.

     Can you give me a few days? I assume you're not looking to be ‘acquired’, so getting something tossed your way may be difficult. I also take it you're looking for something medical-related?”

     “Yes, please.” He was quiet, feeling bashful.

     “Alright, I'll send you what I find. I may know of a few leads. Have a nice night, Sweetheart.”

[pbpress]

Fire and Ice: Chapter 7

by Brooklyn N. Dottin

AUSTIN JULIUS

  Well, it was the week before the day of the dance. I drove over to Alessandra’s house on Wednesday afternoon, because she wanted me to help her find some jewelry to go with her outfit. She wouldn’t let me see the outfit, though, which I didn’t get. I mean, if I’m gonna help her pick out matching jewelry, I gotta see the outfit to know what to look for. But when I pointed this out to her, she just shrugged and said, “You’ll know,” then climbed on the motorcycle behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist. Taking off, the wind blowing in our face, I suddenly had a somewhat disloyal-at least to Alessandra-thought. It was at the corner of my brain for weeks, gathering dust, but I never realized it until that moment. 

    I wish Blanchard were riding behind me instead of Alessandra.

    As we pulled into the mall parking lot, Alessandra hooked her chin over my shoulder. “Let’s go, baby.” 

    I squirmed inwardly when she said that. Never has anyone ever called me “baby” like that. It made me very uncomfortable. And made me half-wish it were Blanchard calling me that, not Alessandra. I shook my head of such disloyal thoughts and said, “Alrighty, off we go.”

    Shuffling my feet, I followed Alessandra into Pandora. I hate to shop, especially if it’s for jewelry. All the gems, bracelets, and such sending off their blinding reflections into your eyes, and making you a little cross-eyed by the time you exit. Alessandra didn’t seem to have any problem with it, though. She spent the better part of our time in the shop looking at the amethysts and emeralds. Pretending to be way into it, I enthusiastically said, “How about this one?” pointing to an amethyst amulet in a glass case. Alessandra took one look at it, frowned, and said, “Too simple. How about this?” pointing to an overly intricate diamond-rose-gold necklace. 

    “Way too expensive.” I found a simple silver locket. “This?”

    “Hell no. I wouldn’t be caught dead in that!” she exclaimed.

    Maybe Ben was right, I thought. Maybe she is quite shallow and cold.    

    Finally, after two painful hours of searching and browsing, we settled on a rose-gold choker that wasn’t too expensive. Alessandra tried it on, and loved it. I was just glad she found one she liked, so I could get out of there.

After paying for it, we headed to my bike. I planned to drop Alessandra off at her house quick, then go straight home. 

    Alessandra, however, had other plans.

    As soon as we mounted my bike, she leaned over my shoulder and said, “Can we drive to the park?” I said sure, ‘cause a bit of fresh air was exactly what I needed. After getting there, I parked my bike by some trees that sort of sheltered us from the rest of the park. But before I could climb off my bike, Alessandra literally yanked my head around and, with no warning, crashed her lips into my own. My mind immediately went into flight-or-fight mode. I quickly flipped through every outcome of any possible reaction: Push her away, risk her getting mad at me, perhaps wanting to hurt me later. Let the kiss continue, and risk not being able to-dare I think so?- get together  with Blanchard, who, until around then, I hadn’t realized was the only one I actually loved. But now here was Alessandra, on my lips, with me not knowing what to do. I decided I didn’t want to continue this kiss any longer. I pushed her off me. She looked at me, a little confused, and for a split second, I wished I’d just sucked it up and let the kiss continue, but that second passed, and I said to her, “I’m taking you back to your house now.”

    I half expected Alessandra to be all mad and stuff, but she just went, “Sure thing, Austin. Let’s go.”

    Huh.

    As we coasted towards Alessandra’s house, I began thinking of what I should do about the dance situation. It was too late to refund the tickets, and I’m not the type of guy to stand people up. I was seriously thinking of just faking a cold or whatever and telling Alessandra I couldn’t go. I was so wrapped up in my planning that I didn’t realize we’d passed Alessandra’s house until a couple minutes later. 

    “Um, hey, Austin? Are you forgetting someone?” she asked. I snapped out of it quick and realized where we were. 

    “Oh, my gosh, so sorry!” I gasped, making a sharp U-turn in the road, Alessandra gripping my waist as I did so. I almost exceeded the speed limit racing toward Alessandra’s house. 

    Dropping her off, I said, “Well, that was an interesting afternoon.” 

    “And rather hot,” said Alessandra.

    What? Hot? On what basis was this boring-as-hell afternoon hot? 

    “I mean, hot as in it was hot outside, y’know?” she said quickly. 

    Now, I knew for a fact that it wasn’t even 60 degrees outside, and even she was wearing an autumn jacket. Something told me that she meant “hot” as in “sexy”, which made even less sense.

    Waving to her as I drove off, I blasted over to Blanchard’s. I was gonna ask her if she were going to the Masquerade, in the hopes that we could go together, unbeknownst to Alessandra. Yeah, I know. Totally cheap. But at this point I was willing to do anything to avoid having to go to the Masquerade with Alessandra. But I also needed to talk with someone less provocative at that moment. 

    Turning into the driveway, I saw Blanchard on her front porch. She saw me and immediately got up from the chair in which she was sitting. I parked my bike-without any fancy maneuver this time-yanked my helmet off, and smiled at Blanchard. She didn’t smile back. Instead, she bolted for the front door.

    “Hey, wait, what’s wrong?” I shouted after her. But she was already inside. I ran up and knocked on the door. But Blanchard’s mom answered the door.

    “Oh, hi Austin! What a nice surprise,” she said. She looked rather frazzled, with more No. 2 pencils in her messy, unkempt bun  and behind her ears than I cared to count. 

    “No good material, huh?” I asked. 

    “No,” she responded. “Can I help you?”

    “Uh, yeah. Well, Blanchard acted a little weird when I pulled up, and she seemed a little nervous when I smiled at her,” I said. “Do you happen to know what’s going on with her?”  

    Ms. Schwartz gave a teasing smile and shook her head. 

    “Well, she seems to fancy you, rather,” she said.

    “Huh?”

    “She won’t stop talking about you. She’s always going on about “Austin” this and “Austin” that. I even heard her mutter your name in her sleep a couple nights ago.”

    “But then, why doesn’t she want to see me?”

    “Perhaps she’s nervous, or she thinks you don’t like her back, or she’s just trying to figure out how to talk to you.”

    I was rather flattered at the idea of her saying my name in her sleep, that would imply she’s been dreaming about me. I suddenly remembered that she’d been dropping subtle hints the whole time. I just hadn’t noticed, mostly thanks to Alessandra’s seduction. 

    “You should try to talk to her,” said Ms. Schwartz. “You guys clearly like each other. She’s just a little nervous now. She’ll soon warm up to you.”

    I blushed at the term, “warm up to”.  I shook my head before any dirty thoughts dared to creep their way into my head. Looking up at Blanchard’s window, I smiled at the dark-haired personage, who I realized was looking out the window at us. She quickly shrank back out of sight. In the split second before she was out of sight, I could swear I saw her face turn red. I inwardly smirked. 

    “I guess I should go now,” I said to Ms. Schwartz, turning towards my motorcycle. 

    “Alright,” she responded. “I should get back to my writing anyway.”

    “Bye, Ms. Schwartz,” I called back as I revved up the motor. 

    “Bye, Austin,” she responded, turning back to her house.

[littlemissmeggie]

Hiii Meggie! Hope your well and things are going good with your job, family and boyfriend! 😘

hi mouse! i’m doing decently well, i suppose. 

things would be much better if my boss had been fired and i’d been promoted ages ago. he’s getting even worse at his job than i thought it was possible to be without finally being fired—he literally stood in the kitchen during the kids cooking class he was supposed to be running doing something on his phone for at least half an hour and kept telling the girls in the class that he would be with them in a few minutes when they asked him questions; the kitchen assistant basically ran the whole class.

it’s been almost four months since it was first suggested that he was close to being fired and i would be up for promotion and i just keep hearing, “it’s going to happen soon.” but, like, when?! not only am i so sick of working with him because he’s annoying and lazy and bad at his job and i’ve been doing most of his work for him since february but it would also be nice to finally get this promotion because it would mean a huge pay raise and benefits and then i would be able to contribute more to household bills than i currently am able to. i told one of my coworkers that it’s not just about waiting for the frustration of working with him to end but also about finally getting my “big girl job.”

my boyfriend went to the emergency room on saturday night after work because he was so dehydrated and he found out he has colitis so he’s miserable and his body hurts and he’s got a headache and had to have all kinds of tests done and i just feel so awful. he’s having more tests done soon so they can find out what’s caused the colitis so hopefully it’ll be something easy to treat.

in other better news, the terrible review we got about our newest chef instructor’s class seems to have been an attempt to get a refund and none of the accusations were true. the kitchen assistant who worked that night, who i trust completely and is one of the kindest people i’ve ever met, said he didn’t agree with anything she’d written. the instructor almost broke into tears when the store manager and my boss talked to him because he was so upset that anyone would accuse him of being that shitty; he welcomed criticism of his classes and teaching style, especially since he’s new and just learning the ropes, but said he would never talk badly about the company, be rude to guests, brag about himself or his car, or talk about his political views. (regarding the mention of his mercedes, he said the couple walked around the shopping plaza for a bit after class ended and they were leaving at the same time he was and they were parked a few spots away from him.) the manager who was working that night said she thought they’d seemed like they enjoyed the class and was surprised to hear about the email.

i went with my sister and mom on friday to help my sister put together the baby registry for her shower. although i am the least maternal person and couldn’t care less about things like baby car seats and pack ‘n plays, it was nice to go with her and she was happy to have us be with her.

also, my three-year-old nephew has discovered my kiwi tattoo and thinks it’s so cool that it matches the kiwi from one of his toy sets. he keeps calling it a watermelon though. he’s showed it to my sister, brother, mom, stepdad, grandfather, and uncle even though they’ve all seen it before.

i’ve also had a few of my coworkers tell me that if i were to quit (which i’ve mentioned i might do if this whole thing drags on too much longer because it’s driving me absolutely crazy and frankly isn’t fair), they would leave too. an oddly sweet thing to hear. haha

i know this is long and far more than you expected! but thank you for caring! i hope you are well and everything is good for you!

xo

[heavenslastcrush]

The Legend of Joan

I recently had an incredible opportunity to travel to Antarctica over the New Year’s holiday on the National Geographic Orion. The trip was an unbelievable experience full of adventure, excitement, inspiration, self-discovery… even a little bit of romance.

Traveling and beginning a New Year in a new country has become quite the ritual of mine. It began in 2015 when I went to Australia with my boyfriend. We celebrated New Year’s 2016 on a yacht on the Sydney Harbor, right between the Harbor Bridge and the Opera House.

By the time the end of 2016 came around that boyfriend had become an ex-boyfriend, but I was determined to have just as amazing of a time despite being newly single. I thought about the last time that I was single and really happy, and it occurred to me that it was when I was living in London. So naturally, I needed to return. That year, I went to France & England with a friend I had lived and studied abroad with while in South Kensington. Said friend was also recently single, and also needed to get away. We counted down to midnight and welcomed the beginning of 2017 on a yacht on the Thames.

For New Year 2018, I needed to one-up myself again and venture to Asia – so I traveled to Thailand and Cambodia and rang in the holiday on the Marriott rooftop in Bangkok, overlooking the city while literally being on top of the world.

Since my traveling tradition also seemed to include being on a different continent, my initial New Year 2019 plan was to travel to Brazil & Argentina. I had an entire itinerary all mapped out – I would first spend a couple of days in Salvador, then venture over to Rio. Next I would travel down to Buenos Aires to actually celebrate New Year’s, and then spend a few more days at Iguazu Falls. I would bookend my trip with about 4 days in Patagonia.

I thought I was so clever, planning out such a great vacation.

Funny how life happens while you are busy making plans.

It turns out that I couldn’t find anyone to go with me on this adventure. I asked my parents, siblings, old friends, new friends… I even put a message on Facebook to see if I could get any random connections to join me. But alas, my efforts were fruitless.

It was critical that I still go somewhere, but I wasn’t quite brave enough to venture to Brazil solo. I typically have no issues traveling alone, but everyone that I have ever talked to about Brazil was in agreement that it is not super safe for anyone to travel to, let alone by one’s lonesome, and especially as a single female.

Where could I go that would be safe? That would still put me on a new continent? That I could travel to alone?

I googled a map of the world. I revisited the list of countries I’ve already explored on my “Been” app. And, as I was sitting there (admittedly at the office, being distracted by this sometime in early-October, which is super late in the game to be planning an international excursion, by the way), I glanced at the very bottom of this Google map image at a thin strip of white with a small area jutting out.

Antarctica?

Hmm…

Well, it was on my bucket list to visit all 7 continents before I died. I guess it would make sense to try to go to Antarctica now while I’m still young and could tolerate small amounts of cold.

I started Googling more about the continent.

Population?: 4K.

Yeah, that seems pretty safe.

Photos?

Oh, well these look pretty cool. Lots of penguins. Penguins are legit.

“Alright”, I thought, “I guess I could do Antarctica”. Next I needed to figure out how to get there.

Initially, I wanted to visit the tip and see things like Deception Island. But, I also wanted to go to the South Pole. Just to say I’ve been there.

Turns out, you can’t really fly into Antarctica. (Well, I suppose you can, if you are a billionaire and really bored). It also turns out, that there isn’t all that much in the middle of the continent, and that the most interesting animals and sights are actually on the edges. Cruises were recommended galore.

As with any other Google search I always begin with “Best [insert whatever it is I want to do/explore/see/etc.]”.

So, I type in “Best Antarctica Cruises” and scroll down until I find a link where some company isn’t trying to sell me something.

I found a Conde Nast Traveller article that gave me all kinds of details on what to look for in an Antarctica Cruise. (Here’s the link if you are interested: https://www.cntraveller.com/article/best-antarctica-cruises). In this article, they recommend either the National Geographic Orion or the Silver Explorer.

“I can be on a National Geographic ship?!” SOLD. HERE’S ALL OF MY MONEY.

I’m totally kidding, I did a little more research first.

I found that National Geographic actually had two ships at the recommended size, with reputable crews, Zodiac boats on board, etc. One was the National Geographic Orion. The other was the National Geographic Explorer.

Both were fully booked.

But, I sent an inquiry to Lindblad Expeditions anyway (Lindblad & Nat Geo are in a partnership together for these expeditions) to see if these were actually fully booked, or what my chances would be to get on this ship in two months. I also wanted to know more about pricing.

The short version of this part is that a single cabin costs a small fortune. But, there was an option to share a cabin if I were willing, at a reduced rate. There weren’t any shared cabins available, but they would put me on a waiting list.

I like money, so I asked them to put me on the waiting list. And also, to please let me know if there was any way to obtain more of a discount.

A couple of weeks later, a shared cabin became available. However, when I got this notification, I was in San Jose at Twitch Con 2018. I was pretty distracted by how awesome that experience was, and I didn’t pay the cabin fee (which they require you to pay the full fare within 24 hours) in time and lost out on that cabin.

When I got back to New Jersey, I was crushed that I missed out on the opportunity. I called the company to see if they could put me back on the waiting list again, spoke to a lovely woman named Catalina, and as luck would have it another shared cabin had just become available.

BUT, this cabin cost 10% more than the previous one.

“So, Ms. Horner, would you like the cabin?”, she asked me.

I tried to see if there was any possible way to get it at a discounted rate, or if she thought another cabin at the lower rate would become available again.

“I really don’t think so, this expedition is departing in less than six weeks. It’s unlikely that passengers will cancel as they are out of the time period where they would receive any sort of refund. So, would you like the cabin?”, Catalina pressed again.

After the deepest breath of my life, I responded “Yes, I would, please.”, scurried over to get my wallet, and made the largest single transaction I’ve ever completed in my life. (Seriously, I could have bought a car for less).

“Is there anything else I can do for you today, Ms. Horner?”, Catalina asked.

“Actually, I know you can’t tell me the exact demographics of passengers on the ship. But, are you able to tell me if there are any solo travelers around my age that will be on board?”

“Actually”, she began, “because this expedition is taking place over the holiday there are many families going. We expect more of a diverse age range than usual.”

I thanked Catalina and got off the phone with her.

I was going to Antarctica.

In the weeks leading up to the trip, I had assumed that my roommate would be geriatric and feeble. I knew it would be a female, but I thought it would be some little old lady, maybe on the edge of death, that wouldn’t be able to use her camera or a computer and that would be up all hours of the evening doing whatever the elderly do in the middle of the night.

Fast forward to December 26, 2018. I’ve made it to Santiago, have already spent a few days exploring the area, and am now at Hotel Santiago which is the National Geographic-commissioned hotel where all of the passengers are staying before leaving the next morning to Ushuaia on the charter flight.

When I arrived, there was a small reception of cocktails and hors d’oeuvres taking place for the passengers. I met a few folks including Mack, a lawyer from Baton Rouge, LA (who would later ultimately be my next-door cabin neighbor); Peter, a Scottish man who was part of the staff on the expedition and one of the divers on-board; and Tia, a beautiful entrepreneur from England.

I thought this would be as good of a time as any to try to meet my roommate, but alas, she was no where to be found.

After the reception, I needed to rearrange my luggage so I went to the hotel room. At this point I hadn’t streamed in a few days and knew I would have a stable internet connection so I decided to stream a bit.

Right in the middle of the stream, that’s when I met Joan.

Joan.

What can I even say about Joan?

Well, she was definitely old. 81 in fact. But, from the second I met her, I could tell this was no ordinary lady. And while she may have been “old” in age, she was anything but old in spirit or energy.

Joan is fearless.

Joan is a badass.

Joan is my spirit animal.

Joan is my role model.

Joan is my adopted grandmother.

Joan is one of my best friends.

Throughout my trip, I spent a lot of time with Joan. Not only were we roommates, but we also shared several meals and several drinks together. Here’s some of what I learned about her:

·         She lives in California.

·         She got married when she was 21 years old, and had a long 49 year marriage.

·         She has two daughters, and one grandson.

·         She was formerly an accountant.

·         Her husband passed away several years ago.

·         She takes college classes! (Over 7 per term in fact, which is more than most college kids!)

·         She has traveled to over 70+ countries.

But of all the things I learned about Joan, it all pales in comparison to what I learned from Joan.

Joan was one of the brightest lights on the ship. By the time we were leaving Ushuaia, she knew just about everyone on board, and everyone new her. I feel like she and I had this in common, but it was a great reminder, that no matter how old you get, or how successful you become, you should never be above saying “hello” and seeking out genuine connections with those around you. Relationships make the world go-round.

I mentioned this already before, but it’s worth reiterating: Joan was a fearless badass. Her attitude towards life was incredible. There was one point on the trip where we had the opportunity to jump into the Southern Ocean. (In case you are wondering, the water was a balmy 34*F.) There were people of all ages on this trip, but only about half of the people on the trip actually leapt in. Joan was of them. While I heard countless people talking about how “crazy” jumping in was, or their fear of “freezing up”, “losing their breath”, “going into shock”, etc. I heard Joan overwhelming with enthusiasm about the opportunity. At one point, another lady on the trip, probably in her late 30’s or early 40’s asked Joan if she was concerned about getting hurt by jumping in. Joan’s calm response was “Well, if that happens, then my kids can have an early inheritance, but I’m going in”. Badass.

This woman then proceeded to try to talk Joan out of it a bit, and Joan just shook that notion off and headed to the stern where we were all jumping.

Believe it or not, Joan actually jumped in before I did. I wanted her to go first, because I wanted to be able to watch it happen. (And by this point I was so enamored with her, that if heaven-forbid something did happen, I would have dived in after her). I started a cheer before she dove, and 100 passengers all chanted along in unison with me “JOAN! JOAN! JOAN!”.

Right before she dove in our expedition leader, Doug, pulled her aside and said “If you can’t pull yourself out, don’t jump in.”

I saw her hesitate, just for a second. I could see the wheels turning in her head. Thinking about whether or not she would have the strength to climb up the ladder afterwards. A second was all that look lasted for.

“I can do it. I’m going to do it.”

And then she jumped.

81 year old badass, all the way in the Southern Ocean.

You know that feeling you might get when your favorite sports team wins the Super Bowl? Or the World Cup? That’s how I felt watching Joan pull herself out of the ocean. I was so floored by her. Badass, I’m telling you.

In that singular instance, I learned so much from Joan. I learned that you are never too old to be fearless. That you must always believe in yourself. And, that sometimes, you just have to take a leap, even when other people doubt your abilities. Because taking those risky leaps, lead to great experiences, and even better stories.

As Joan and I spent more time together, she became one of my best girlfriends. We would come back to the room in between lectures, or after dinner, and just gossip about guys on the ship, crazy stories from the day, or how ridiculous people are.

I swear Joan got more action and romance on the ship than just about anyone that ever sailed on the National Geographic Orion.

One evening, I made it back from dinner before Joan did and was in the bathroom when she came in yelling (rather loudly for a little old lady, might I add), “HEATHER, I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU!”

Now, there was this guy on the ship, and I thought he was pretty attractive or whatever, so I thought she was going to tell me something about him, but was a little bit puzzled as to why she was this excited about whatever it was.

I came out of the bathroom in a hurry. “What?”, I said, “What happened?! What’s going on?!”

“I just got proposed to!”

“Wait… WHAT?!”

Joan just stood there staring at me, eyes wide, with a big smile. This was the look of a perfect blend of shock, amusement, and hysteria.

“By who?”, I questioned.

“ROD!!”

“Who’s Rod?!”, I questioned again.

“That old man!”

Ahh. I knew the one she was referring to. There was an old man on the ship who was business partners with Tia. He was 76, from England and wildly successful in his career.

“Wait, was he serious?”, I asked.

“Well, I don’t know. He sounded serious.”, Joan replied.

“Did he like get down on one knee or anything?”

“No, he just asked me from the far side of the dining room table.”

“Well, what did you say?!”, I asked. I really couldn’t tell if her tone was excitement from being newly engaged or shock at how ridiculous and preposterous such an inquiry was from someone she had only met a few days prior.

You know those times when you ask someone a question, and their reply is a firm indicator that your question was utterly absurd because they reply not only with their voice, but their full entity? This was one of those times.

“I said ‘NO!’, OF COURSE!!”

I couldn’t help but hysterically laugh. Here was my roommate, 81 years old, shining gem of the Orion, fearless badass, of course she would be getting proposed to.

“Well, I don’t know, Joan! Maybe this could be your second chance at love or something. But, that wasn’t a very good proposal.”, I managed to say in between gasping for air between chuckles.

“Listen, I am too old to be training another man. I don’t have time for all that.”

I erupted again.

Oh, Joan. You slay.

In that moment, I learned from Joan that independence is ageless, and no matter how old you get: you don’t need no man. (**triple snap, z-formation**) Sometimes I wish those trolls in Twitch chat egging me on about a boyfriend could spend 5 minutes with Joan. I think she could whip them into shape.

At the very end of the trip, once we started to head back to Ushuaia from Antarctica, Joan had booked a massage in the Wellness Center. We had a pretty chill day full of lectures, parsing through photos, and just enjoying the company of each other and all of our new friends on the ship.

The following day Joan’s back was bothering her a little bit. We wondered if it was because of a rather rocky Drake Passage the prior evening, all the hiking during the trip, or something else entirely.

After lunchtime, Joan found me in the room as I was swapping out my camera memory cards. “I got a massage.”, she told me.

Now, Joan is pretty sharp. I had never had to tell her anything twice, and she always remembered everything I told her. So, I was a bit puzzled as to why she was telling me again about her massage.

“I know”, I replied. “Yesterday morning… or, did you get another one?”

“I got a massage from Ian.”, Joan said with a sly smile.

Ahh, yes, Ian. Ian was the hotel manager on the ship. A tall, handsome, proper gentleman from South Africa.

Joan continued, “Now, if he proposed, that might be something to consider.”

Cracking me up again.

Even then, I learned from Joan, that while independence is ageless, so is romance. You can have either, or you can have both. But, the beauty in it is that you get to choose.

I was with Joan for 12 days. In those 12 days, we grew a deep and very special bond.

Joan taught me many things, but probably the greatest lesson that she taught me, or at least reminded me of, was that there is SO MUCH to live for, no matter your age or status in life, and that you can find friendship and family anywhere you go. So, always be kind to those around you, because you just might meet someone that touches your soul and that will remain a treasured part of you forever.

Joan, I love you, chica.

[marveliciousfanfics]

Walk With Me Part 2

This is my entry for @dinnafashsoldat POC Writing Challenge.

Prompts: “You’re not taking me to bed. Ever.” “Who said it had to be the bed?” and “I wasn’t lying when I said I loved you.” Mexican!OC

A/N: I am a Mexican girl so when I saw this writing challenge I had to get on board. It is going to be about a 5-6 mini series. I love Thor. He’s my favorite! Even over Bucky and Steve because he’s just so…perfect and needs to be protected.

“Since my dad is—was a musician music is a big part of our family’s party. He will most definitely sing a song to my mom it’s always Paloma Querida meaning Dear Dove. It’s their song,” I explained to Thor as we stood at the living area with the furniture pushed away to give us space. “But I wanted to teach you how to dance it since it’s tradition for all couples to dance to it. FRIDAY play Paloma Querida by Jose Alfredo Jimenez.”

“All right,” he clapped his hands and stood in front of me. He was a whole foot taller than me—maybe more, so this was going to be a bit hard. I positioned his left hand on my waist and his other hand with mine. I placed my free hand on his shoulder.

“It’s really simple. We just step side to side until we make a circle or something,” I led for the first few steps. “Okay now you have to take lead because that’s the way.” He did as I told him and he picked it up pretty quick. “You’re light on your feet.”

“Of course, I’ve danced many dances throughout the realms,” he grinned. Of course he had. “But this is nice.” He looked down to me and it was the first time I got a good look at his eyes and I knew why so many women swooned. But I couldn’t be just another one. So I turned away and pulled back.

“So that’s just a nice one, we’re gonna move on to Salsa, Cuban, Bachata and Banda,” I knew the last one was going to be a bit more challenging to explain. So I pulled up videos on my phone and showed him. Even that he got it pretty fast. I was so impressed with his willingness to learn. He paid close attention and wasn’t afraid to ask questions.

“Why did you lie to your parents about having someone? Is there someone you’re avoiding?” he asked when I needed a break and had accepted the bottle of water he handed over. I took a long sip before answering. It was best to be honest or as honest as I could without revealing too much about myself.

“My family is nosy. I know they mean the best, but they all have this notion that because I’m a woman I’m supposed to just get married and have kids. They figured this—“ I gestured around me, “would be a phase, but my mom started hinting that my ‘clock’ was ticking. I’m only twenty-seven and the youngest! So to…calm her nerves I told her I was seeing someone, but we couldn’t go public to keep me safe…so the first person I thought of was you.”

“I’m honored, Dulce, but do you plan to tell your family the truth? Unless we are planning a fake wedding as well,” he laughed.

I laughed too. “No, of course not. I figure after this I’ll just tell them we broke up and they can leave me alone for another six years.”

“I’ve known you for nearly four years and this is the most I’ve learned about you,” he placed his hands on his hips.

I shrugged. “No one bothered to ask, plus I’m easily overlooked. I just do research.”

“I believe me…I noticed,” Thor got closer until he has half a foot away from me. “You are very observant. You care deeply and you definitely keep in touch with your family because you want to not because it’s a burden.”

He was right. My family and I were really close, but it took tragedy for that to happen. I wasn’t ready to share that. I knew he was going to find out eventually, but that would be for later. It was odd to get compliments from a God. Especially one who had gone through so much.

“Well, that’s enough, I think. You know the basics. So we should have rules so we don’t end up doing something dumb.”

“Like what?”

“Um…sleep together.”

“Why not? You like me and I like you. Why can’t it happen?”

I laughed nervously. “You’re not taking me to bed. Ever,” I did my best to use a stern voice, but under his gaze it quivered. He leaned down until we were only two inches part. I took in his scent and memorized.

“Who said it had to be the bed?” And before our lips met I took a step back.

“Whoa, whoa, no need to do that, Thor. I don’t expect you to kiss me at all!” I held my hands up as protection because I didn’t trust myself not to fall for his spell.

“Your family won’t find it suspicious I’m not affectionate?”

“My family doesn’t approve of PDA—so we won’t have to worry. The most you’ll have to do is hug me or kiss me on the cheek.”

“What a shame,” he winked. “I’ll see you tomorrow at nine to go to the airport. Will they care that I don’t have a passport?”

I groaned. “I didn’t think about that. Fuck.”

“I’m sure Stark will let us borrow one of his many planes, right?”

“Uh…sure.” I didn’t even convince myself.

“Let me take care of that then. You should get your money back for those tickets.”

“Uh sure,” I wasn’t going to get a full refund, but oh well. I really should have thought about that. Thor kept his word and I got a text from Tony saying it was okay to use his plane. Also he wanted pictures of Thor dancing banda so he could use it as blackmail. I doubted Thor would find it embarrassing.

I packed at night and felt the nerves start to kick in. Not only was I bringing a ‘boy’ well God home, but he was also not Mexican, which my parents always wanted me to marry in my culture. My sister did, my brother is going to do it and all of my cousins did as well. I wasn’t sure how my dad was going to react. Thor and I had gone over our story about how we got together until it was engraved in our brains. To them they think I’m going to get back with Bruno. He had been older than me, but he had been nice when he asked me out. And I thought it had been love, but if I had loved him, it wouldn’t have been easy to end it and move across the country.

I hardly got any sleep, but I got up and did my morning routine. I got a text from Tony that the plane was ready to go in an hour. I got my suitcase and headed for my door. I opened it and Thor’s entire frame took the whole space.

“Good morning, Dulce!” he boomed. “I am ready!”

“Tony said it’ll be ready in an hour, so we have some time to lose. I’m getting coffee,” I told him. “Let’s go over my family’s names.”

“Your mother is Alejandra, your father is Alfredo, your brother is Junior, then it’s Camila and Betty. You have a nephew Charlie and a niece Elizabeth named after Jane Austen characters.”

I nodded impressed. We got to the kitchen. Steve was sitting down with a cup of coffee. I went to the cupboard and groaned when someone placed my mug too high for me. I was about to climb on the counter, but I felt Thor behind me easily reach for it. The whole front of his body covered my back and it woke me up faster than any cup of coffee ever had. He held the mug in front of me and I took it meekly.

“You’re welcome,” he whispered close to my ear.

“Th-thanks,” I mumbled back. He stepped back and I swore I heard him chuckle.

“Morning, Steve!” Thor boomed.

“Morning,” I could practically hear Steve’s smirk. I got my coffee from the pot and got my creamer from the fridge. “So you’re really going through with this?”

“It should be fun! A new culture and new faces. Plus I don’t think I’ve been to…where are you exactly from?”

I turned around to face them. “I guess I should have led with that. So, my family lives in…Watts. It’s a bit of a rough neighborhood, but they don’t want to move out of there.”

“Rough?” Thor’s body tensed.

“I mean, it’s not like it used to be, but my parents still hear a drive by every now and then. Not like when I was younger and it was every week we knew someone got shot or died,” I shrugged and sat down across from them and sipped my coffee carefully.

“I still think you should tell your parents the truth. The truth is always better,” said Steve and I knew he knew from experience.

“It’s a harmless lie, Steve, I’m not keeping deep, dark secrets from my parents,” I shot back and immediately regret it. I knew he felt bad for what happened with Tony, but he had no right to judge me when he hardly knew me.

“Things are going to be all right. It’s only a couple of days,” Thor tried to keep the mood up, but it was clearly not the same. “What can happen in just a couple of days?”

I gave Thor a blank expression and then he frowned. A lot could happen in a couple of days.

“Sorry, Steve, that was a low blow,” I sighed. “I’m just all wound up.” I rolled my shoulders.

“You’re all wound up because you feel bad for what you’re doing,” Steve pointed out and got up and walked out of the kitchen.

“It will be okay, Dulce,” Thor’s tone was softer now. I met his eyes and some how I felt that he was right.

“Again, thanks for doing this, Thor. I mean, what I’m about to put you through…” I shook my head. “Just be patient with my family.”

“They really can’t be worse than mine,” he grinned.

“No, my dad hasn’t told me of a sibling he incarcerated for thousands of years,” I joked lightly and he chuckled at that.

Soon we were on the plane. He sat across from me. I had taken the seat away from the window because if I looked outside of it, I would probably have a panic attack. Flying wasn’t my strongest suit. I didn’t really have to do it much working for the Avengers since I mostly gathered information and gave it to them in briefings. I worked on the ground and flying was one of the scariest things in the world. I literally had friends who could fly and I did not envy them.

Thor quickly picked up on it. He explained we were perfectly safe—well he said we would have been safer if he would have used the Stormbreaker. I just laughed which did help me distract me. When we hit turbulence, I closed my eyes and started humming. I felt a big presence beside me so I opened my eyes. Thor had sat next to me blocking the window so I wouldn’t be able to look out there if I was tempted.

In minutes I was more relaxed and then I must have fallen asleep because after what felt like half an hour—but it had actually been three hours—I was lightly shook. I fluttered my eyes opened and I had been leaning against Thor’s mighty bicep and there might have been drool because the corner of my mouth was a little wet.

Horrified didn’t even begin to describe what I felt. I needed to be swallowed by the Earth. Did I just drool on an actual God?

“Sorry,” I wiped my mouth.

“Don’t be. You looked so tired, plus you were adorable to watch with your little, soft snores,” he chuckled.

I held back an internal groan. “Did…I really snore?”

“Indeed you did, but it’s nothing compared to my great friend Volstagg after he ate a whole pig,” he laughed whole heartedly but then it died and he looked sad. I knew his friend had died defending Asgard from his sister. So I reached for his hand and squeezed it. He turned down to me and gave me a sad smile. “Put your seatbelt on.”

Sometimes it was easy to forget that Thor had lost a lot of people in his life. I held his hand after my seatbelt was on because it was time to land. I was able to squeeze his hand so hard that it wouldn’t even phase him, so I released a breath when we stopped. I hated that I was going to have to go through this in two days again, but if Thor was by my side again, I had a feeling it was going to be okay.

[365day2021]

Day 100

Dang I should’ve done the same thing as yesterday but I was too lazy. I’m gonna try to remember everything but might miss stuff so oh well. Woke up at like 835 and left my place at like 9ish. Went to my parents to go pick up my bro and drop him off at the airport. We got trosmo on the way (I got a blimey limey) and then after I dropped him off I went to Sam’s to get gas then went home. On the way I called up Brandon to get my night stand and computer chair and by the time I got home he was at my old apartment (miscommunication with meeting at my old one) and I left to go there. Got that stuff and one more little cabinet thing I kept in my living room + some misc stuff and then went back. Got everything in and then we went our separate ways. Took a shower and got things organized and was talking with Faith to see what plans were but nothing at the current time. Pretty much was just doing house shit until 220 when I went to go meet Brian at work. Sold me his TV and then went home to set it up. Once I got the legs screwed in I turned it on and there was a red line in the middle of it. I watched an iCarly episode to see if it’d bother me and it did so I hit him up and he refunded me and said he’d come back later to see if he could fix it or call up Samsung. After that I was just chillin’ tryna figure out my nanoleafs and decided to go to Target so I could get some velcro command strips and also picked up lotion and hair gel. On the way back I got a couple things from my apartment and talked to Olivia for the first time since moving out. Went back home afterwards and met my mom there and she brought me some dishes from Auntie Yu-Lin. She hung out for a bit to see the place and then left. Put up my nanoleafs and at that point I thought the plan was going to Target with Faith and Stephanie/Brandon but Faith was still busy so I just went myself to get a trash can. Went to the Pembroke one and couldn’t find the one in the aisle so I went to guest services and literally waited like 15-20 minutes for them to bring it. Rushed back to my apartment and Brian was there finding a spot so he could pickup the TV. That happened and then Stephanie and Brandon came over a bit later. We chilled and ordered pizza, and when I ordered it online it went to my auburn place address I guess cause my account had that address saved so I had to call them and switch it to carry-out. Had a drink and then me and Stephanie went while Brandon house sat. We picked it up and when we got back the gang was there. It was Lee, Jonita and Joshua, and Faith who showed up. We just chilled, drank (I had 3 long islands total) and talked until about 11 when everybody but Stephanie and Brandon left. They hung out for maybe 30 minutes and had a shot of soju with Brandon and then left. It’s 1209 now and me tired cause alcohol

[elevenhoursinfront-blog]

4th December 2017

We didn't have to be up as early today. We had to be out of the camp around 0900/0930. Steve and I put an alarm on for 0700 which was pointless as we woke up around 0600. We went and got ourselves dressed and ready for the day. We were one of the firsts up to have breakfast which was nice. It wasn't overly packed and we were able to make our toast without interruptions. Cooking with gas took patience and space.

I put the water in the kettle and waited for it to whistle. What an experience this has been! Steve dropped one of my slices of toast on the floor as it was cooking. This happened to nearly everyone. After about 15 minutes, we were finally having toast and tea!

The rain poured so hard from the moment we got home yesterday. We were beyond lucky with the weather. It hadn't stopped and it was still pouring rain. We had one more creek to go to before we went back to the barge called 'Eli Creek'. Nobody was all that interested in going though, we were going to get absolutely soaked. I guess if you're swimming in a creek anyway, you're going to get wet.

We had to pack our bags, sweep out our tents and put everything into the cars. We had to help make lunch and pack them into the cool boxes. Peter said if the weather was good, we'd eat on Fraser Island somewhere, if not, we'll go back to Pippies hostel and eat there. Steve and I were ready early so we played a few games of cards in our tent to pass the time. 

I drove again although Steve really wanted to drive. We have loved driving big 4x4 jeep type cars. They're so comfortable. They had so much power which Steve wanted to try out on tarmac when we got back near to the hostel.

We pulled up at Eli Creek in the pouring rain. Peter jumped right in and we all laughed. Steve and I decided against it as we would have been soaked and uncomfortable for the drive home. Our towels were still wet from yesterday and pretty smelly too. Although, that's nothing knew for us. We've dealt with towels like that all year!

We did the board walk and watched everyone else jumping in and out of the water. Another tour group appeared and they ended up having a party in the rain. They were playing music really loud, dancing and drinking alcohol. Bearing in mind, it's only 1100. The guys from their group were playing football in the water which looked like fun.

Our group were the only ones in the car, keeping dry and warm from the rain. We were waiting for about half an hour before everyone was ready to leave. We had just short of a two hour drive to do, to get to the barge.

The drive was long and horrible. I started to feel pretty travel sick after about an hour. The bumps did not help. We got to the barge and had to wait in a queue. The barge was on the way so we waited the 15 minutes. It pulled up and the cars started to pile on. Peter got really angry when they said there wasn't room for our cars. We had to wait another 40 minutes sat still in the cars for the barge to come back. We couldn't get out either because it was chucking down.

Steve and I played our cards. A few games of Rummy and the barge was back. Finally! We were all ready to go. A 15 minute cross over and we were finally back to Australia! (not that we ever, really, left).

We drove back to the hostel where we got out, cleaned the cars and had lunch. We had to sweep out all the sand which took forever because there was a hell of a lot. I saw Kirsten crying so I went up to her to find out what was wrong.

She was getting the Premier bus from Rainbow Beach to Airlie Beach so that she could do her Whitsunday tour. Kirsten is leaving Australia in 10 days after arriving in February (the same as us!). She is home for Christmas so she is rushing to do the last minute things she wants to do. The bus from where we are now, to Airlie will take 14 hours.

The bus company called her to cancel her bus as there were too much flooding. She was going on her Whitsunday tour tomorrow and there was no way she'd get to Airlie in time for it now. I felt so sorry for her. I felt her panic.

The company said they'd refund her which is good but she still needed to find a way to Airlie Beach. I said to Steve that I wish we could've taken her but it's the wrong way and we've got limited time.

I told her to ring Greyhound bus services who luckily were still running and luckily had a space for her. Problem sorted, just an extra $200 down. This bus also took an extra 2 hours (presumably for breaks, different pick ups and stops).

Steve and I said goodbye to Jolanda and Rhianne who were parked next to us with their camper. They were doing the same route so we will no doubt bump into them again! We said goodbye to Kirsten and wished her well. We said goodbye to Sarah and got her Facebook. The only couple we couldn't say goodbye to was Craig and Faye. They were staying at Pippies and left to check back in. I knew that reception couldn't tell us their room number so I asked her to leave a note explaining that we tried to say goodbye before leaving. We had searched all the public areas in the hostel.

Fingers crossed they'd get it.

We showed the Dutch girls our van and we looked at theirs too. I like mine most. I love my van. I am biased, of course. I never want to give her back.

Now, for the drive to Noosa!

We got to Noosa after driving for two hours. That's a short drive for us – a pop round the corner. We pulled up and phoned a few campsites... They were fully booked. One didn't answer, no matter how many times we rang, it just kept saying 'busy'. We decided to just go there because it was getting close to closing time.

There was a sign on the door that said 'Back in 5 minutes'. I'm almost certain that the sign has been up for about 20 minutes, which is why they weren't answering the phone. There was a phone outside the office that said to ring but there was no answer...

Eventually a man came to the door and invited us in. He had a spot for us so we checked in. Expensive price as per normal.

As we were checking in, two girls from our Fraser Island trip turned up. They were obviously doing the same route downwards. We didn't really speak to them much, they were in a different car. All I know is that they're from Canada. Not much to go on. We said hello and then went to find our bay.

Steve noticed a fish and chip shop on site so we went there straight away. We even left the car in the reception waiting area. We hadn't had fish and chips since we arrived in Australia so we treated ourselves. I only had chips and a child's-like saveloy (it was two bites big). Steve had cod and chips. At least our bellies were full and we could have a shower and sleep straight away. We were completely knackered from our trip, our last trip!

We reversed into our bay but where the rain had been so heavy, we were stuck in the mud! We tried to move it onto the concrete park but we were literally stuck. Steve was pushing and I was accelerating but nothing was happening, just mud flicking up. Luckily, the lad next to us jumped out and said to rock the van and then they would both push. We were free after one try! What a guy. Thank god for him! I reversed it onto the concrete and it was staying there!

Shower, bed, sleep.

[tohellandbackanthology]

Seeing that my book is in transit literally made my eyes well up because I was one of the (many) initial indiegogo campaign supporters and there was a tiny part of me that thought with all the setbacks and trials you’ve all gone through it might never happen and yet this beautiful book is on its way to me and I am so excited and so grateful you never gave up on this project. You’re all amazing and I just want to say a massive thank you.

(Now all I need to do is just find space in my bedroom to keep it when it arrives!)

AHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH and, well, we're not lying when we say we can't wait until you get your book!!! Part of the reason why we love when people tag us in their book pictures is because of all these setbacks so the pictures just feel unreal at this point! We thought we would be shipping these out in October 2020 but Indiegogo held our funding hostage for six months. If you want the truth, because of the funding situation, these books almost didn't happen!

The last couple of months leading up to it and especially the two weeks before our funding finally landed in our non-profit community bank account, we were having extremely serious discussions about refunding all our backer money and cancelling the project altogether. And going through all that was super upsetting for us, because we were SO eager to get going, on ordering merch and printing these and shipping these and we really, REALLY wanted to hold these books in our hands too! But we couldn't start on that other stuff because we'd vowed to not spend a dime until we were sure we could afford these books. It was really difficult contemplating just cancelling the project, because during those six months, we spent so much time on so many different potential solutions (we incorporated as a non-profit society! we got a business number!) and nothing was working!

It was our mod @justholdingstill who worked super hard behind-the-scenes to secure our funding. All of the daunting financial stuff, the cross-border banking paperwork, talking to Indiegogo's support—it was her! She pushed us to keep going and we're so glad she did because the money finally landed in our account and we could finally start the next phase of our project! After that, we went right back on track.

It's been a long journey getting here. We definitely learned a lot too and we're grateful for the experience. While we wouldn't do it again (it was like having a full-time job tbh, except without an income), we know that the new knowledge that we acquired over the course of this project will go a long way in helping us with other endeavours in our lives.

Also, as you know, it wouldn't be us if we didn't have some sort of setback occurring regularly every few weeks, so we do have a small announcement: we've had another setback.

Last week, we mentioned that we would send out 300 more books out the door today and tomorrow, but unfortunately, Canada Post recently made changes to our account to give us a better rate for shipping and somehow during that process, they made it impossible for us to log into our online Canada Post account. Fun. It's super broken.

Because of this, at present, we can't make any more mailing labels nor book pick-ups so please don't worry if 1) you still haven't received a tracking number (we have about 150 orders left for which we still have to generate a mailing label or 2) if your tracking information seems stuck on the stage called "Electronic information submitted by shipper" (that means your order hasn't been picked up by Canada Post yet and is still with us).

We're confident though that this is a realllyyyy small issue and hopefully Canada Post will be able to resolve this within the week—in our experience, they work fast. But regardless, we just wanted to let folks know in case anybody's been wondering why their tracking seems stagnant for their order!

[chatting-leaves]

Someone From The Internet (5/?): Double Dip

With years and years of hindsight, I've found that I have some very interesting stories of people who I have met online, some of which have sprung into solid friendships lasting decades while others have been very short lived yet have been memorable for other reasons. Once in a while, you have two that end up crossing in the most awkward way possible with results that, for myself, were quite cringeworthy at best and aggravating at worst. Bonus points when this becomes an issue in your regular, physical, day-to-day life. To begin, let's go back to the fountain of hope known as 2008.

As that year dawned, I made a lofty goal for myself: I wanted out of Albany as soon as possible, preferably in two months, and I ideally wanted to be out of New York State as I was still very bitter over losing a job with the state, a coveted thing to have, the prior summer. In the interim period, I lived on a combination of unemployment, a credit card handled by my Dad, and a well-timed check from my former job for a retroactive raise negotiated after my departure. After this, I had a random idea:

"Maybe I should see if all the taxes I didn't do in college could pay off." After doing them for every year going back as far as I could, I discovered that I had a refund of a little under $3000 coming my way via all of the tax credits I could have taken. This put a move within reach and my landing spot came down to two places, Boston and Washington, DC, the advantage going to DC because of a greater number of people I knew there and a desire to get to another part of the country. As any thirsty twenty-five year old would do, I began testing the waters of online dating in the DC area, a place where several people I knew said that the man-to-women ratio was greatly in my favor. One of the first people I began talking to was a woman a year younger than me in the Virginia suburbs we'll call Jolene.

In some regards, Jolene and I clashed. She came from a well-off family on the Gold Coast of southwest Connecticut, the land of financial types avoiding the high taxes of New York, a different experience from my down-to-earth rural roots albeit eroded from years in smaller cities. While I was a devout non-denominational Christian at that time, she was Jewish; no big deal since I am prone to have a phileosemitic streak and have been always interested by Jewish culture. My run of the mill state university education contrasted to her multiple degrees from a renowned tech school which led her to become a master in web design, the fruits of pushing girls into STEM fields before that became a buzzword. On the other hand, our sports leanings, political leanings, and our ties to Connecticut were things that we immediately bonded over and found chemistry with. All seemed to be going well, then the first shoe dropped.

The brother of a good friend, a lobbyist for a tech industry association, was buying a condo in Silver Spring, MD - the town I ideally wanted to live in after being sold on it a year earlier. He needed help to help him move his belongings from the house he already owned right down the road in an isolated residential neighborhood of DC, problem is there was a mere range of when he would close on the condo. I turned this into an exploratory trip, making appointments for several job interviews along the way. Upon hearing this news, Jolene said that she really wanted to meet while I was there.

"Where would you like to meet," I asked. "I'd preferably want to do something in the District." "There's a Starbucks in Clarendon that works for me," Jolene responded, citing a popular neighborhood in Arlington right along the Orange Line of the Metro "It's right between work and home so I can just stop on the way home from work." "I ideally wouldn't, but I'll try," I responded, genuinely wanting an additional friendship because I had designs of having a place to live when I left that week. We made plans for that Wednesday afternoon with the caveat that I may have to punt it if the closing already happened and my help was needed to help my friend's brother move. As I was about to leave, the news that the condo was closed on broke and I was going to have to help. Could I punt this? No. I reached out to Jolene, could she reschedule for the next day? No, she had plans. Friday morning near her job? Also a no-go. I apologized for having to cancel on such short notice, hoping we could make plans when, not if, I moved.

The next time I was able to check anything, she blocked me on both the dating site we had met on and on Facebook where we had already been friends. I was flabbergasted at such an overreaction to a legitimate issue, shot her a text saying so, and went along my way or at least tried to do so. Such a drastic overreaction over such a minor problem clearly was a sign that she was not meant to be long for my life and I, even in my desperate state, knew better. This unfortunately is not where Jolene's story ends.

Fast forward a little over a year and my first year in DC was a roller coaster: Job issues, living situation issues, social circles turning on me in a heartbeat, and tons of other drama. When my third living situation in just over a year, one in a large apartment complex where myself and a debt-ridden technical writer paid cheap rent to enable a senile man pushing 80, I looked for something new and found that the solution was right over my head in the apartment literally above mine. My new roommates were two guys a couple of years my junior, Ben (a fellow upstate New York native who worked in the arts field) and Nate (a local who was an accounting student). At first, Nate and I got along a little too well, he had family ties to my former home of Poughkeepsie, was producer of a college radio show I liked, and had an inkling that as our mothers had the same rare maiden name that we may be related, a thing confirmed years later. We all got along at first, however as the summer chugged by Nate and I started to wear on each other, I for my tendencies to be cluttered, he for the fact that I seemed to take more interest in his cat than he did.

By the start of September, things began to silently boil over between Nate and I. One night, he confronts me and says that he and Ben had made the decision to kick me out of the apartment effective the end of that month due to my cleanliness issues in our shared kitchen. I then ran this allegation by Ben who then raced back from work to find that Nate was putting words and stance's in Ben's mouth; the final consensus was that we all had to get better as while I was the worst of the three, we all were to blame somehow.

A week later, fresh off of a trip back home and some other activities with friends, I arrived home from having dinner with a friend to see Nate on the couch, a rare sight in itself as Nate was a  secretive person that rarely left his bedroom. A minute later, a curvy figure emerged from our hall bathroom who looked a bit familiar but I couldn't immediately place the face.

"This is my new girlfriend, Jolene," Nate said as we awkwardly shook hands, both of us knowing that we had previously pursued each other. We exchanged pleasantries then I ran to my bedroom to try to process this shocking news. It isn't everyday that you find out your roommate is dating a girl you once pursued who cut off contact because your plans changed last minute. The next day, with Nate off for the weekend to Jolene's apartment in Virginia, I revealed to Ben what had gone on between Jolene and I and how she had left me jaded. Ben then revealed a bombshell of sorts.

"He's head over heels for her because it'll force him to convert." Raised in a Unitarian household, Nate had an almost obsessive love of Judaism and yearned to be Jewish himself, a somewhat problematic situation given the matrilineal nature of that religion and the painstaking process of perseverance and studying needed to convert. In fact, when Jolene were on better terms she had told me that she would've been fine marrying a Gentile willing to convert. "Deep down, I think she might be a bit too cheerful and liberal for Nate," Ben continued alluding Nate's love of Libertarian politics and guns, a potential backlash of the far-left and vehemently anti-gun nature of the suburb where he had grown up. Personally, I wanted the whole thing to blow up because seeing Jolene made me loathe myself, that somehow I did something I didn't realize to warrant being unpersoned and that she now was dating my own roommate whose own social skills were lacking. Such an idea drove me crazy as I was trying to work through some personal issues on that front and to see that front and center only flamed out my insecurities.

Jolene was the last straw in the already strained relationship between Nate and myself and soon enough I began avoiding him (and her) as much as possible. Soon enough, he began spending most of his time at her place and spent maybe a token night or two a week in Maryland at best, his cat pretty much becoming my responsibility. Eventually, he announced his departure and while he came back to help us try to find a roommate, he had long mentally checked out of our apartment and I was ready to move on just to not have to deal with the awkwardness.

As if his girlfriend didn't do enough, Nate ended our friendship and joint tenancy by mass blocking me on everything, unpersoning me without a reason that could be easily discerned on the surface. I darn well knew why, that my past with Jolene made things weird for all of us as a whole, however I did end up moving on.

Eventually, Nate proposed to Jolene, successfully converted to Judaism, and ended up marrying her a little over two years later, coincidentally a day after I married my now-wife. Such impeccable timing given what I went through with the both of them.

[domhovasse]

On my own again.

The next morning, we woke up early, and headed our separate ways, Timnit back to England, and myself, on to Spain. The easiest (and cheapest) way to do this was to take a bus to Faro, and then transfer to another bus. I gave myself 45 minutes to do the transfer at the bus station, thinking that would be ample time, even if the first bus was running late, but with my amazing luck, I got to the station 4 minutes after my transfer had left. This was definitely one of the more frustrating experiences I’d ever had while travelling, but completely out of my control. I couldn’t get refunded either because I used 2 different bus companies, so I had no choice but to wait, and catch the next bus to Seville. What I was most upset about wasn’t the fact that I had to buy another ticket and spend 6 hours in Faro, but the fact that I now had only 1 full day to see Seville, which turned out to be my favourite city on this trip. I ended up locking up my backpack at the bus station and spent some time walking around the city centre, then finding a cafe to eat/drink coffee/kill time. When I could feel myself struggling to keep my eyes open, I left the cafe and continued to walk around. Eventually, I decided to lay down on a park bench, and fell asleep there for a couple of hours before making my way back to the bus station to get my backpack and catch my bus.

When I arrived in Seville in the evening, I checked in to my hostel, and went for a walk to find myself some dinner, before going up to the rooftop of my hostel as an attempt to socialize. There, I happened to meet a guy from Vancouver who knows Olivier and a bunch of his Carver friends, so we chatted for a while, and he invited me to join a group of people from our hostel to go for a walk and get ice cream before coming back to the hostel and heading to bed. The following morning, I woke up quite early and I spent the entire day doing as much sight-seeing as possible, beginning with a little walk to the cathedral, followed by a walking tour, tapas for lunch, and the Alcazar palace in the afternoon (with people from my tour group). Next, we made our way via the shopping street to a viewpoint to enjoy a glass of sangria and some nice views of the city. Along with a super sweet girl from my hostel room (and walking tour), I ended the day with a long walk along/across the river, and more tapas for dinner, before heading back to the hostel for an early night in.

I woke up early the next morning to catch my blablacar to Granada. The one disadvantage to blablacar is that the driver decides the pick-up and drop-off locations, and they aren’t always anywhere near where you need to be, so I ended up having to walk 30 minutes to my hostel. There was some sort of religious festival going on and the streets were overflowing with people, which made for a challenging walk. I checked into my hostel, and then headed to the Alhambra (which I had booked tickets for ahead of time). I spent the next few hours just wandering around the massive palace grounds, listening to my audio guide, and getting transported back to the 13th century. When I travel alone, I often forget to eat/ unless I can find something easy to take away, I don’t feel like sitting in a restaurant alone. I think it was a combination of not eating plus the 38 degree weather, but I just about fainted on my way home from the Alhambra and then spent the rest of the afternoon in bed. I managed to rally in time to head back out to grab dinner (& gelato) with another female solo traveller from my dorm room, then we decided to walk up to a lookout point to watch the sun set over the Alhambra. I slept like a frickin baby that night, and woke up early the next morning to catch another blablacar back to Seville.

After getting dropped off in Seville, I pretty much headed straight to the airport, to catch my plane to Marseille. I arrived at my hostel in the late afternoon, checked-in, and went out to explore with an American guy from my hostel room. We went for a long walk to a look out point on top of a hill, and then got dinner along the pier. On the way home, we stopped to enjoy a few glasses of ricard on the terrace of a cool bar. The following day I woke up bright and early to hike up to visit a church on a hill at the highest point of the city, before going on yet another walking tour. After the tour, I was really wanting to head to the Calenques, but unfortunately there just wasn’t enough time for me to fit it in, so instead, I decided to catch a boat to Chateau d’If, a fortress converted into a prison, most famous for being one of the settings of Alexandre Dumas’ adventure novel The Count of Monte Cristo. In the late afternoon, I made my way back to my hostel to gather my things and meet my blablacar driver.

My blablacar ride was super quick, and we arrived in Nice just after dinner time, so after checking into my hostel, I went for a little walk to find myself some food and then convinced Brandon, my bunk mate from Marseille, to join me on a pub crawl. The following day, I spent most of my time just wandering around Old Nice, walking along the boardwalk, and climbing up a bunch of stairs to a viewpoint. The weather wasn’t great in Nice, and I was quite exhausted/ I was having a pretty bad allergic reaction to bug bites, so I kind of laid low and tried not to cram too much into my day. 

The next morning, I took a bus to the airport, where I caught a bus to Genova, Italy, to see my friend Mara, whom I met in Spain in 2012. She was working at a hostel at the time, and her boss was nice enough to give me 1 free night in the hostel. After meeting her and her sister at the bus station, they brought me to the hostel, and from there, we took the train to Nervi, where we hung out on a [rocky] beach for a bit. Before heading back, we went to a little bakery and ate the best focaccia bread in the entire world. It was fresh, garlic-y and cheese filled and I actually think I died for a second. On the way home we stopped at a gelateria (when in Italy!) for supposedly the best gelato in town. The following morning, I set off on a walking tour for a few hours before meeting back up with Mara to spend the afternoon with her in a beautiful fishing village, tanning, drinking wine and eating seafood. We got back to the city in the evening, and I decided to go on a little walk to a viewpoint - if it isn’t obvious yet, I’m a huge sucker for walking tours and viewpoints), followed by a hunt for some pizza, (because I refused to leave the country before eating a frickin Italian pizza.)

The easiest way to get from Genova to Marot, was to take a train to Milan, where I had planned to meet up with Oli, then fly to Bordeaux together, and then from there take a train to Saint-Cyprien. It was so nice to be back with Oli and spend a few days relaxing by the pool and hanging out with Auntie Cathy. Uncle Thierry was away at the time, so we weren’t able to see him, but Aunty Cathy still spoiled us with amazing food and an abundance of rosé. We spent our entire first day just hanging out by the pool, taking in the 35 degree weather. Nothing beats a summer day in Périgord, and spending time with our Aunt and Uncle in their beautiful home continues to be a highlight of our trips to Europe year after year. The next day, we wanted to keep up with tradition, and do some canoeing along the Dordogne river. We have so many childhood memories of doing this with the family: getting caught in currents, jumping out for a swim, and being surrounded by medieval castles along the way. Literally a dream. We shared a really lovely meal that final night, which included lots of rosé and some heart to hearts.

The following morning, we had an early breakfast, and Aunty Cathie kindly drove us to Sarlat, where we met our blablacar driver. We spent the next (almost) 6 hours in the car, taking in the beautiful French countryside, listening to music and sharing stories with our driver and his son. It was actually quite an enjoyable journey, and he was able to drop us off right at Balard metro station, which is a very short walk from our apartment. 

Once again, another incredible trip exploring new cities and diving into history with both new and old friends. A few mishaps along the way, but I’m so looking forward to doing it again!