#I had him take arcane trickster because i was already playing a rogue/theif

[thedarklordgivenofucks]

Excerpt from a Diary

It became apparent quickly that Sparrow and I were very similar. They were good with their hands, good with a blade, motivated to miracles by even the promise of gold. Even their casual, easy-going smile masked a world of hurt not unlike my own. They were human, still very young, but the way locks seemed to spring merely at their suggestion was as if they’d been a thief for hundreds of years, not a couple of decades of human life. It was startling, to say the least. They can do anything I can, with as much or more efficacy. Terrifying.

Fear is not new to me, and I doubt anyone would have the right to judge me for being afraid: First the nautoloid, the mindflayers, the tadpole - and then being lost in the gods-fosaken wilderness with nothing but a dagger and the clothes on my back. Even when I first met Sparrow and their merry band of misfits, the first thing I’d thought upon seeing other people in the woods was that surely they were Cazador’s lackeys, here to return me to his service. I was fortunate to be proven wrong - perhaps the only fortune I’ve ever received.

Nevertheless, the fear that they’ll tire of me is stalwart. I can’t survive out here on my own, not with all the nonsense that’s going on, and knowing that I could become a mindflayer at any moment without the protection of the artifact they carry is reason enough to be terrified.  I need Sparrow if I am to survive, no matter the cost. But as it stands, our talents are very similar, and I’m not certain why they keep me around.

Sparrow is afraid of magic - whether because of street superstitions or purely due to their uneducated background I cannot say. Regardless, they refuse to touch the stuff, relying purely on their wits and mundane talents. Therefore, naturally, when Gale offered to teach me a few spells, I accepted. I was so desperate to prove that I can still be useful, despite Sparrow and I’s similar abilities.

I fear I may have miscalculated. My attempt to gain versatility may have left me at a weaker position than before. As it stands, I am not as good of a thief as Sparrow, nor as good of a spellcaster as Gale. I feel like a child, mimicking their parents’ professions with toys in an inferior attempt to be noticed. It’s disgusting. Pathetic, even - but I’ve made my choice. I’ve put too much effort into the facade to drop it now.

I don’t understand why they keep me around, to be honest, I feel worthless in a fight, and anything outside of a fight Sparrow can handle themselves. Despite that, they do more than just keep my company - they take me everywhere, almost not even letting me out of their sight. Even when they’ve dismissed Gale or Shadowheart to camp in favor of other company, they keep me by their side. Their smile seems easier when they lay eyes on me, and they laugh even at the worst jokes in my repertoire. I don’t understand it. “I’m just glad to have another crim around to be honest,” they’ve told me. “I was worried I’d get stuck with a bunch of hero-types and get lectured about how stealing is wrong and whatever else. Much better to have an honest criminal for company.” Honest. Surely they can’t be that dense. Sparrow is also a shameless coquette. I don’t think there’s a single member of our camp they have yet to flirt with - save the dog, of course, but even then I wouldn’t be surprised. It seems like they develop an attraction to anyone who can stand to talk to them for five minutes. Naturally, that includes myself, and I’ve indulged them in it - even gone so far as to return the flattery. Loath as I am to return to using my bed to keep people’s attention, there are worse partners I could take. Sparrow is charming, a pleasure to be around - even a bit handsome, all things considered. If I can get to them before one of the others do, it may be all I need to cement my position in the group. Besides - who better than an honest criminal for company?