#I had a cheeseburger and two hot dogs and two big piles of fries and a soda and a popsicle

[asinglesock]

truly a snake meal day

[erinelezabeth920]

Days 30 & 31: La Ultima

Friday morning (Day 30) I woke up stupid early. We had to meet at a panderia at 7:30. So not that early but early enough where I’d been out on a party bus the night before. I got dropped off in a taxi and found everyone there, eating breakfast. Erin was in a rough state, feeling sick, concerned she had stomach poisoning. Mike was out of it too. Eventually we all ate our food (or Gatorade) piled on a bus and drove about an hour and a half out of the city. I sat in the back next to Tara and her little 8 month year old baby. We chatted as the bus drove out of the city toward the volcano, Cotopaxi.

Long story short, we went mountain biking and it was pretty awesome. We drove up to Cotapaxi National Park, up into the clouds and the chilly mist with pine trees. I felt a hint of Seattle and my soul lifted. All 20 and some change of us filing along on single track paths in the arid, eerie landscape of the side of an active volcano. Mike and some others sped off. I putted along, braking too much and skidding on rocks, cursing. Mountain biking is not the top of my favorite outdoor activities, something about the instability, fear of falling, not liking narrow spaces and not being able to get over that. But even with all that, biking (hands gripping the handle bars in a death grip) in the Middle Earth like landscape, fresh air on my face was like a cure all, as it always is. We went for about 2 or 3 hours, 12 miles and all, stopping for lunch. It was cold and we had tea by a little hut and sandwiches, and brownies which our guide’s wife had made which were the best brownies ever. Apparently known in the program from the years past.

Cotopaxi is one of the world’s highest active volcanoes. The National park itself was actually closed for the past two years due to eruption activity. That day the peak itself was wreathed in clouds- very Northwest esque, but its presence still seen and felt. We biked over dirt and gravel, up hills and through water. I got off and walked a lot. At one point Erin and I tried to pee behind some boulders in the empty landscape and were not very successful. It was incredibly beautiful. The Andes are foreign to me, electric with the feeling of a moonscape, arid and huge. There were cows and fences, and at one point llamas! Finally. I took many selfies.

Finally we got to the meeting place. I felt tired, sore, and grinning in that outside way where my body feels electric, active and close to the edge of experience. It was the perfect last adventure day. We all got on the bus and fell asleep.

We got back to the city around 3:30pm. I stopped at my favorite coffee shop, a “white person place” I call it with lates and good internet. I ordered a giant hot chocolate. I called my mom. Sturgill Simpson played over the speakers and I almost started crying. Homesickness is a funny thing.

When it started to get dark I headed back to Monica’s. That night at dinner we chatted about Seattle, immigration and a bunch of other things. Primo was going off about some movie he loved. I was amazed at how much better my Spanish had gotten, maybe not speaking wise, but definitely just following the conversations without a total blank stare all the time. Monica then gave me a package and a card; it was a scarf and a card saying thank you for staying, and I am a part of the family. It was signed by everyone and even had the names of all the dogs. I in turn went upstairs and brought down the Seattle mug, magnet and Chukar Cherries I had bought at the airport. They put the magnet on the fridge and we all ate some cherries. It was a nice time and night. In typical Erin fashion I am overly emotional with goodbyes and as a result shut down or tend to run away. I excused myself pretty early and headed upstairs, trying to avoid the emotions that were swirling around. I petted the dogs on the way upstairs.

Saturday (Day 31)

I woke up around 8am or so and took the bus to Beraca. My stomach felt pretty off, so Kayla and I went to find a bathroom. It was bright and sunny and I was wearing my hat but very tired. We’d pretty much been non-stop for the last two weeks (or month). A handful of us we’re meeting to head up a couple hours north to a smaller town that had a huge market on Saturdays. I definitely didn’t need to buy anything else, but wanted to go just to see a new place and hang out with folks for the last day. The crew from Neuro (me, Kayla, Erin plus Liz, Jenna and Stephanie) piled in a van with Tara, her mother, two friends and little baby. The drive was pretty, rolling hills and dry landscapes with the mountains in the distance. It kind of looked like California wine country, and cacti lined the road. I was talkative on the way up, product of the coffee I had drank, although it hurt my stomach later. We got to Otavalo, a small town; it was big market, six streets or so with a mix of locals and tourists and tons of blankets, scarves, food and the deal. It was fun for a bit but then I was pretty finished and sat in the town center people watching. It reminded me a little of a South America Sonoma, Spanish colonial architecture and a center foundation square.

(Otavalo)

After Otavalo we headed over to a different town with apparently cheap high quality leather but I’m not really into those things so I found a restaurant and had a Caprese salad. The way back was long. I felt very sick, the roads were windy and there was traffic. Tara’s baby was crying too. Back in Quito Kayla and I stopped at the artisanal market, as we’d decided they had better jewelry than Otovalo. She helped me learn how to look for the number for real silver and helped me pick out a beautiful ring.

(Erin, Kayla and I and our rings)

The sun was setting and it was lovely. I was blocking out a lot of emotions because it was easier that way. We parted ways saying we’d meet up later. Erin had a date with one of the Spanish teachers (!) and Mike and Jojo wanted to go back to the gay bar. Somehow we all had to say bye to each other. I headed back to Monica’s to pack. I had a quick dinner with them but my heart wasn’t in it. We had already done our formal goodbyes the night before and I was pulling away for self preservation. I gave hugs and excused myself to pack.

Finally, after shoving everything in my backpack which was definitely twice as heavy as when I arrived, I headed out the door and grabbed a taxi. I met up with Kayla and her roommate from the one week program Brittany at a strange mall site up north in the city. We found a bar close by, which happened to be a rock and roll bar full of white people. Ah well I had two micheladas and was happy. At 11pm we walked over to a salsa club where Mike, Erin, Jojo and Raul were standing outside. There was a lot of hugging and passing around a water bottle of tequila. Then Kayla and Brittany headed back. Raul said goodbye as well; Mike, Jojo and I gave Erin her space for that one. She skipped up to us a few minutes later, grinning. I walked the three of the to the dance club, and dropped them off at the door. More hugs, Mike and I promised to hang out in NYC, waves goodbye and they dissappeared behind the doors and into the thumping bass.

And then it was just me. I was hungry. There was a McDonalds near by. In my sad and emotional state my basic instincts took over and I found myself with a double cheeseburger and fries at a little table by the window. Country music played on the radio. For some reason it felt like a limbo, transitioning out, phasing myself back into a ghost, walking the streets of Quito in transparency, like I was never here at all. Alone in McDonalds at midnight listening to country music, half in this world and half in America, part of both and neither. We can travel all we want, but we can never escape ourselves. Sometimes it’s honestly best to embrace it.

I finished up, grabbed a cab and headed back. The guy upcharged me and I couldn’t find the energy to care. The lights of the city zoomed by, and I didn’t have enough emotions. I was pretty empty, placidly gazing out the window. I said gracias, paid the fare, opened the gate and headed inside the dark house. Mayra and Chelsea were picking me up at 5am the next morning to go to the airport. It was 12:30am.

And well, that was that.

[edourado]

For my friend @handoftheassassin

Adopted

Matt has always known about Frank’s kids. He had met the kids before he met Frank, actually.

That's the thing about hanging out in parks. Kids are bound to happen. Frank Jr happened to Matt on a Saturday while he enjoyed a large cup of coffee and the sun on his face. The small boy had taken the seat by his side, politely asking “is this seat taken?” and immediately engaged him in conversation.

Matt had smiled, wondering if the child was aware of the “stranger danger” rule. Not that he was dangerous to the boy, but this is New York. Crazy people all around.

Frank would always smile and kiss him when they remembered that story.

“You didn't even know him, already you were parenting.”

Lisa had come after, telling her brother he was supposed to be looking for pebbles, and then, to Matt, “hello. I'm Lisa.”

Frank appeared a moment later, apologizing to him, a strict tone with his children, “what did I say about running off?”

Lisa ended up asking if she could draw Matt’s face, and he laughed, said “sure” while Frank told her not to bother him, but Matt assured him it was fine.

When the fact that he was blind became evident to the kids, Lisa took it upon herself to describe his own face to him while working on his portrait.

“You're very handsome, Matt”, she had said matter of factly and both him and her father laughed.

“Thank you, Lisa”, he had said. “Can you describe your face to me? I'm curious.”

When she told him about her blond hair and her green eyes and her freckles and her nose, he said she was very beautiful and she giggled, and thanked him.

It was while she did a very good job of describing her father’s face to him, was that he noticed the man’s eyes scanning his face.

“My dad is very handsome, too, all my teachers think so. I heard them talking”, the girl said.

“You did?” Frank asked, surprised, taking his eyes off Matt to look at his daughter.

“Yes”, she said, like it was no big deal. “Miss Marks said she could just eat you up. But wouldn't that make her a cannibal?”

“Ok”, interrupted Frank while Matt tried not to laugh. “How about we change-”

“And Miss Leelo said she thinks you look like a brute.”

“Oh my God.”

“And that she likes that idea. What's a brute, daddy?”

“When- where did you- how did you hear all that?”

Matt felt Lisa shrugging and then hopping off Frank’s lap to run around with her brother and the dog that had been lying at their feet.

“God”, Frank had said, chuckling, still sitting next to Matt. “What just happened?”

“She sounds very, very smart”, he commented, all his focus on the man sitting by his side. It's been less than an hour, but he could already say he agreed with Lisa’s teachers.

“I thought I was in the clear after the terrible twos.”

They ended up spending the whole afternoon together. From the park they went for a hot dog, and then to another bench, and then another park.

When they said goodbye, Matt sort of had a date.

With Frank, his kids and his dog, to a different park, the next weekend.

When, finally, they were able to meet without the small chaperones, Matt could read all that was going on in Frank’s body, and he smiled when he felt the two eyes intent on his face.

When Frank kissed him, it was after he insulted Matt’s coffee choice. They were in his apartment, with the excuse that Frank was going to borrow Matt’s boxing gloves until Frank got new ones for himself.

“It's not bad” he had said after the first taste. “But these fancy machines can only do so much.”

“And here I thought Nespresso was the best of the best.”

“Stick with me, Red”, he said, using the nickname he came up with because of the color of the lenses of his glasses. “And you'll never have another mediocre cup of coffee in your life.”

Matt had smiled, said he was taking him up on that, and then Frank took two steps towards him, planting his mouth on his, hand on the back of his neck, fingers inside his hair, making him shiver.

Matt did stick with him. And Frank kept his promise: only the best coffee from then on.

.:.

One month in, Matt met his ex-wife.

“Ah, the famous Matt my kids seem to adore” said Maria, shaking his hand. “Nice to finally put a face to the stories.”

“Mom!” exclaimed Frank Jr. “Did you know he can fight?!”

“Yes, baby, you told me.”

“He's really good. He's teaching me.”

“Oh, that reminds me”, she said, turning back to Matt. “I don't know how to thank you enough for the meditation thing. I swear, it worked wonders.”

“I'm glad it helps”, he said, feeling Frank’s arm on the back of his chair.

“Oh, it does. Bed time used to be such a fight, now it’s a breeze”

He was glad to have a good relationship with Maria. At first, he imagined it would be hard, to date a man with two kids and an ex wife, but he got lucky. Frank was the most difficult out of the four of them, with his temper and short, short fuse.

Two months and the school’s schedule was in Matt’s planner. He would pick them up on Thursdays and Fridays, sometimes with Frank, sometimes by himself.

“Oh my goodness”, he heard Frank Jr’s teacher say under her breath when she spotted him once, all the way across the playground that separated the door from the sidewalk where Matt was waiting. “Where can I find me one of those?”

He tried to keep the smile in, but Frank Jr politely and innocently answered, offering an excited “at the park!” to the rhetorical question he had overheard. “That's where we met.”

Matt pretended to be coughing in his hand in order to mask the smile that broke out.

“Oh!” Exclaimed the teacher, blushing. “That's nice, Frankie!”

If he was extra charming just to make the teacher blush a little more, nobody could tell.

.:.

After they moved in together, the place was a mess for a while. That first week, they both took Friday off work to sort out the unending number of boxes piled around the apartment. Until, after an entire morning and part of the afternoon, Frank had enough.

“Shit”, he said, dropping a lamp he had no idea why he had bought, let alone brought to the new place, back in its box. “I can't do this anymore. I'm fucking done for the day.”

Matt sighed, tired himself.

“Listen”, Frank said, sitting by his side on the floor, hand on the back of his neck, guiding Matt's face to his for a lingering kiss. “You're picking up the kids today, right?”

Matt nodded.

“How about I go with you?”, he kept interrupting himself, kissing and kissing and kissing and Matt smiled. “We’ll pick them up and then… I don't know… we’ll get some air?”

Matt let himself be kissed, angling his head, opening his mouth, hand pulling on the buckle of Frank’s belt. He nodded.

“How long do we have?”

Frank looked at his watch and came back to his mouth with renewed gusto, advancing on him until Matt was lying on the floor.

“Hour and a half.”

Christen the new living room: check.

Frank was sipping his usual coffee, talking to the dad of one of Lisa’s classmates about how they both missed their motorcycles, holding on to Max’s leash, when Matt heard Lisa’s excited voice coming down the hallway, the door still closed.

“And who’s picking you up today?” Asked the teacher.

“My dad”, the girl had said, simply, but Matt’s heart did something funny inside his chest and he found himself smiling.

She meant him. Had known he was picking her up by himself, thought Frank was going to be putting her new bed together.

“Oh!” She said when she saw both of them. “They're both here!”

Half an hour later, he was sitting at the outside table of the new burger place by the Hudson River while Frank taught the kids how to throw a baseball at the small grass field a few paces away.

“Ok, sir, here we go”, said the waitress, arriving with a tray full of food. “I got two double bacon cheeseburgers”.

“Yes, that’s his”, he said, pointing to the empty seat next to his, where Frank would sit.

“Alright”, she placed the two burgers on the table, in front of the empty chair. “One double, no bacon and no pickles?”

“That's mine.”

“Now…”, she read the check. “One chicken, salad and extra sauce?”

“My daughter”, he found himself saying without even thinking about it, that feeling in his heart spreading in his chest again.

“And… one single, bacon and cheese?”

“My son.”

His throat was not closing. He was just thirsty, that's all.

“Right. I'll pick up the rest. Five fries and four chocolate shakes, right?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“You're welcome. I'll be back in a minute.”

When she did come back, Frank and the kids were already at the table, digging in, talking over each other, exchanging bites and stealing fries, Lisa asking Matt to open her ketchup packet for her, sitting on his lap just because, head resting on his chest while she ate her chicken burger, tired, eyes far away at the water, and he wondered if it was now, a month ago or at that first meeting that he became a father.

[elisekw4-blog]

Big Bear to Wrightwood

Our trail angel, Mountain Mama drove us all back to the trail head and we hiked out an easy nine mikes that afternoon. We camped with some of our new friends, The Ambassador and Scarface (two gentlemen in their 60s). We met some new friends at the creek while filtering water, who we would end up hiking with for days…Chocolate Balls, who’s a 24 year old actor for Disney, and Box who is A 37 year old artist from Seattle.

One of my ‘family’ members has been giving me challenges as I hike. The day we left Big Bear he challenged me to hike two miles in 25 mins. I hiked it in 22! The next day he challenged me to do 12 miles before noon. On the trail we call that 12X12. I did 12 by ten thirty am! That was my favorite hiking yet! I started out early and had the day to myself. The views were spectacular and my body felt great. We ended up camping on a sandy beach area right next to the river. There was a small waterfall and pool we could jump in. We had a great campfire, where we roasted hot dogs and ate mass amounts of food.

The next day we hike 14 miles to the Deep Creek Hot Springs. This place was a trip! There were several pools you could hop in, all at different temperatures. TONS of hippie folk…it felt like a time warp. We ended up staying the night there and headed out early in the morning. The next day was a long and hot 20 miles to Silverwood lake. We camped there as a big group. The best part of this place was the fact that they deliver pizza and beer to the campground! What a treat after a long day!

The next morning, County D and I got an early start and did our big climbing of the mountain in the early morning. I ended up breezing through that section of trail. We all had a big motivator this day…McDonalds. At home, this would not appeal to me at all. Out of trail, it’s a completely different thing. I got into Cajon (where the McDonalds is) by noon, and was greeted by two fellow hiker friends with cold beers. We waited for a couple more from the group, then made our way to the fast food.

What I ate during our 6 hours at McDonalds: 2 McDoubles 2 cheeseburgers 1 McGriddle 2 fries 2 hot fudge sundaes 1 ice cream cone 1 extra large soda

Hiker hunger is insane. Some people even packed out McDonalds for the next two days into Wrightwood!

We all payed around on the grass outside the McDonalds for hours, until finally our group decided to go camp by the underpass for the 15.

It was a warm, clear night…so I made the choice to cowboy camp. While turning over in the night, I felt water. I sat up and felt to find my head lamp when I discovered I was laying now in half and inch of water. County D whispered for me to go back to sleep, but I stood up and shouted to everyone that there was water! We didn’t realize that we chose to camp in an area where the water comes through. Not smart on our part. Now all of my stuff was soaked. It was 3:30am and there’s no way I can go back to sleep. So I decide to hike on. County D is awake and packing up and decides to come with me. We night hike the first few hours with our headlamps and in my sleep clothes still, since that’s all that is dry-ish. We break as the sun is coming up for some food, then hit the last water for 23 miles. We fill up and then start climbing. The next 23 miles is all entirely uphill. Did I mention there is no water? Haha. The wind was strong and the climb was tough. We both strapped my wet gear to the outside of our packs so that the sun could dry it out. At one point County D was ahead of me and as I was climbing my trekking pole snapped clean in half, right at the joint. I looked at it, saw that it wasn’t fixable, threw it down, screamed a handful of profanities off that mountain, then sat down in the middle of the trail and burst into tears. This was not my day.

After letting myself cry, I pulled it together. I reinforced my broken pile with two tent stakes and lots of duct tape and called REI when I had service. They are sending new poles to Wrightwood. I caught up with County and we took a dirt nap in a road because we were so tired. We were 10 of our 20 miles in. We made it five more sketchy miles and then took a lunch break. The final five miles were LONG. We finally made it to the top, at over 8,000 feet. As I made that final climb and saw the view below us, I started to cry. This day had tried to kick my ass a few times, and I didn’t let it. We made it to this beautiful campsite where we met two new friends, drank wine that they had packed out and had an awesome campfire. We were proud of ourselves that day.

The next morning was an easy one. We only had to hike out seven miles to town and it was mostly downhill!

Wrightwood is by far my favorite town. The people here love hikers. The food is great and the grocery store is a hikers dream. They have so many great options for hikers. We spent our first night here at a church camp, where we stayed in bunks and got a free shower. Yesterday we spent most of our day resupplying, and checking for packages at the post office. I'm still waiting on my pokes from REI. While waiting in the hardware store I met a woman named Laura who offered to take in our group. She is AMAZING. We are staying in her 'cabin', which is a 4 bedroom house. She made us two dinners last night, let us do all of our laundry, shower and had games and movies. This morning she made us coffee, fresh fruit, and waffles. We are in town now for some more errands and lunch. If my package arrives in time, we will head out tmr morning and take on Baden-Powell. Happy Trails from Wrightwood -Munchies .