#I guess technically it's disney park face characters

[30somethingautisticteacher]

Jee Dates

Enjoy some tooth rotting fluff...I love Uncle Buck and Uncle Tommy. 🥰 I have been writing so much but I guess it's because I definitely won't have the time once school starts back up!

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"Tommy, wake up," Buck said softly, gently shaking his boyfriend's shoulder. "It's Jee date day."

Tommy stirred, a smile spreading across his face even before he opened his eyes. "Already? What time is it?"

"Early," Buck chuckled, "but you know how excited she gets. We promised to pick her up at 9."

As Tommy got out of bed, stretching, Buck couldn't help but reflect on how they'd gotten to this point. He wasn't quite sure how it happened. He had always been close to his niece, but once he and Tommy started dating, she was drawn to Tommy like a magnet. And Tommy definitely didn't mind his adoring fan.

At first, it was casual outings - they would take her to the park or out for ice cream, or she'd come to their house for pancakes. But somehow, those casual meetups evolved into what they now called "Jee dates."

Now they had a standing date once a month where they would spend the whole day with Jee, doing activities of her choice. It had become something all three of them looked forward to, a special tradition that strengthened their bond as a family.

"So, remind me what the plan is for today?" Tommy asked as he pulled on a t-shirt.

Buck's grin widened. "To your delight, and Maddie's dismay, Jee has chosen the Monster Truck rally."

Tommy's face lit up with excitement. "Yes! I knew that kid had good taste."

"Well, she certainly takes after her Uncle Tommy in some ways," Buck laughed. "Maddie's convinced you're corrupting her daughter."

"Hey, expanding her interests is not corruption," Tommy defended playfully. "Besides, Jee loved Disney on Ice last month. She's a well-rounded kid."

Buck nodded, remembering how Jee's eyes had lit up watching her favorite characters glide across the ice. "That's true. From Disney princesses to monster trucks – our girl's got range."

"Exactly," Tommy agreed. "And who knows, maybe she'll grow up to be a professional ice skater who drives monster trucks in her spare time."

Buck couldn't help but laugh at the image. "Now that would be something to see. Maddie would probably blame us for that career choice too."

As they continued to get ready, both men felt a surge of anticipation for the day ahead. These "Jee dates" had become more than just a fun outing - they were a chance for Buck and Tommy to share their love, to be role models, and to create lasting memories with the little girl who had stolen both their hearts.

"Ready to go pick up our favorite girl?" Buck asked, keys in hand.

Tommy nodded, a soft smile on his face. "Always. Let's make this a Jee date to remember."

With that, they headed out, ready for a day full of monster trucks, cotton candy, and the unbridled joy of a child they both adored.

As they got into the car, Tommy grinned and said, "Ready for another adventure with Jee-bug, fellow Guncle?"

Buck rolled his eyes fondly. "You know, technically that's not quite right. I'm not gay, I'm bi."

Tommy's face took on an exaggerated look of shock, his voice deadpan and dripping with sarcasm. "Wait, you're bi? How come you never told me?"

Buck couldn't help but laugh, playfully shoving Tommy's shoulder. "Oh, shut up. You know what I mean."

Tommy's facade cracked as he chuckled. "I know, I know. But 'Quncles' doesn't roll off the tongue quite as well, does it?"

"True," Buck agreed, still grinning. "Though Maddie still thinks the qualifier isn't necessary."

Tommy nodded, his expression softening. "Right, because we're both just Jee's loving uncles, regardless of our sexuality."

"Exactly," Buck said. "But I have to admit, I do like our little 'Guncles' thing, even if it's not technically accurate for me."

As they pulled up to Maddie and Chimney's house, they could see Jee's excited face peering out the window, clearly having been watching for their arrival.

"Guncles!" she squealed as she ran out the door, Maddie following close behind with a backpack full of Jee's things.

Maddie shook her head with a fond smile. "I still say you're just uncles, but I guess I'm outvoted on this one."

Tommy grinned. "What can we say? The kid has spoken."

Buck just laughed as he got out of the car to scoop up their excited niece. "Ready for some monster trucks, Jee-bug?"

As they drove towards the Monster Truck rally, Jee chatted away happily in the backseat. Suddenly, she piped up with a series of questions that caught both men off guard.

"Hey Uncle Buck, how come you date boys? Are you guys ever gonna get married and be husbands? Can I be the flower girl if you do? And please don't get married at the hospital like Mommy and Daddy did, okay? And how come Mara and Denny have 2 Mommies? Are you ever gonna have a kid? Will your baby have 2 Daddies? If they do, will they be sad they don't have a Mommy? Will they call both of you Daddy?"

"Well, Jee-bug, that's a lot of questions," Buck started, his voice gentle. "I'll try to answer them all. I date boys, or in this case, your Uncle Tommy, because that's who I fell in love with. Some people love boys, some love girls, and some, like me, can love both."

Tommy nodded, adding, "And yes, we do plan to get married and be husbands someday. When we do, we'd love for you to be our flower girl."

"And we promise not to get married in a hospital," Buck chimed in with a grin. "We'll pick somewhere much more fun."

"As for Mara and Denny having two mommies," Tommy continued, "families come in all different shapes and sizes. Some have a mom and a dad, some have two moms or two dads, and some have just one parent."

Buck picked up the thread, "Tommy and I would love to have a family someday. And yes, if we do, your cousin will have two dads."

"But they won't be sad about not having a mommy," Tommy added. "Because they'll have two parents who love them very much, just like your mom and dad love you."

"And if we do have kids," Buck concluded, "they might call us both Daddy, or we might use different names to avoid confusion. We'll figure that out when the time comes."

Jee seemed to consider this for a moment. "Okay," she said finally. "Can we get cotton candy at the monster trucks?"

Buck and Tommy both chuckled at the abrupt change of subject, typical of a child Jee's age.

"Sure thing, Jee-bug," Tommy said, catching Buck's eye with a warm smile. They both felt a surge of love - for each other, for Jee, and for the family they would have someday.

[eflen-n-reegee]

Heyya!

There are some things I want to write (specifically: another Field Museum field trip (featuring stuff I got to see on member’s night) and CG headcanons for Father from the show “Raised By Wolves” - he’s such a freaking good dad!) but I’m probably not gonna get those written until at least June. (I work in a school and I’ve got some end-of-year burnout keeping me from writing.)

But I’ve been feeling smallish, so I thought maybe I’d rave about some of my favorite childhood movies (in no particular order). :)

A Troll in Central Park I swear, every single time we went to Blockbuster, I wanted to rent this movie. I just adored it, and I really still do. It just makes me really happy.

Lady and the Tramp This is one of my favorite Disney movies. It’s so pretty, and I love the characters.

Cats (1998) Is it a “kids movie”? No. Did I understand the plot? Barely. But by gosh, I’d put on a leotard and paint whiskers on my face, and I would dance around the living room like I’d been raised to play one of the characters. 😸

The Rescuers Down Under I actually wasn’t allowed to watch this for most of my childhood because my mom felt like the bad guy was “too evil” - she tried to be careful about the things me and my siblings watched when we were really young. (Although, kinda funny, “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” was never restricted. 🤣) But I was able to watch it a few times, and I really liked it.

The Prince of Egypt The MUSIC! My gosh, even when I was too young to really appreciate the visuals, I knew the music was great.

The Muppet Christmas Carol We still watch this movie every Christmas. One year my dad was on the phone with my grandparents while we were watching, and he couldn’t stop laughing at “Jacob and Robert Marley”.

Pollyanna I don’t really know WHY I loved this movie so much - it’s so dialog-heavy and I had (and still kind of have) a pretty short attention span. Still, basically every time I was at my grandparents house I wanted to watch their copy of it.

Bedknobs and Broomsticks I guess some people say this movie was a “Mary Poppins” knockoff? Honestly, as much as I do enjoy “Mary Poppins”, I personally like this more. Maybe ‘cause I like witches.

Kiki’s Delivery Service (1997 English Dub) The characters! The story! The music! AAAAHHH! This is still one of my all-time favorite movies, and it bums me out so much that the 97’ version is so hard to find. (I may or may not have found it online and saved it to my computer so I’ll always have it. XD) I still have the VHS copy I got for Christmas when I was really little.

Homeward Bound & Homeward Bound 2: Lost in San Francisco Everytime I hear the theme music I feel giddy. I like the first one a little more, but they’re both such nice, feel-good movies.

The Lion King 2 - Simba’s Pride … I like this movie more than the first one. 😱😂 The original “Lion King” is great, but I just alway liked this one more. The colors, the songs, the characters (good gosh, Zira is one of my favorite villains ever, don’t even get me started). It’s just really good!

Oliver and Company As a kid this was probably one of my top five Disney movies. It’s not quite so high on the list now, but I still really love it.

Hap Palmer’s Baby Songs This is technically a series and not a “movie”, but this is my list so I’m gonna count it. 😆 They’re mostly original songs, they’re super catchy, and the accompanying videos are a lot of fun. Most of the songs are on Hap Palmer’s YouTube channel; I highly recommend checking it out. (Also: I did not grow up watching “Turn on the Music”, but it’s also really good.) 

The Ruby Princess Runs Away This movie is available on YouTube, but please tell me if you ever saw it as a kid - none of my friends had and I couldn’t believe it. This was one of my favorite movies and I watched it so much I can still recite segments of it; a few years ago my sister picked a random scene, played a few seconds, and I gave her the next lines of dialogue. That’s how wild I was about it. 🤣 It’s honestly not a great movie, pretty average and without much of a budget, but I still love it.

[teaforten]

I’m always disappointed whenever a hatter doesn’t *really* have a march hare, so I threw him in for dramatic effect... Art circa... 2010? This was back when I didn’t know how to draw teapots. @terryfphanatics I thought you would appreciate this. 

[vicea]

dream merch discord recap (june 12, 2021) - disclaimer: i may have missed some things or mistakenly heard other things, apologies in advanced for that!

he has not played the new minecraft update

dream “knows” the date george is coming to florida but he’s not saying it :p

dream doesn’t have anyone muted on twitter

dream guesses his favorite disney princess is belle

sapnap has seen dream’s feet before

he’s not actually connor’s dad in the dsmp lore

dreamnap do not have nicknames for each other D:

dream likes olives but especially black olives

his mother makes homemade pickles

he doesn’t have a phone case

he has dropped his phone from his ear onto concrete in the parking lot before and the screen didn’t crack

dream has six fingers /j

he pours cereal first not milk when making cereal

dream calls sapnap nick most of the time :D

what’s your dream car? “idk the one that gets me to point A to point B consistently”

he finally fixed his sleep schedule, woke up at 8 am today

mrbeast owes dream a tesla because he never sent dream the audio file

dream is a very analytical person - he thinks with numbers/data

creativity is one his strengths that he is the most proud of

3 to 4 years ago, dream used to say george looks like shawn mendes a lot, now he doesn’t resemble him as much

patches is currently sleeping <3

swimming is very relaxing to dream, he swam the other day!

many houses in florida have pools than other places, even the cheapest houses in orlando have pools

dream has merchendise defects (misprints on merch) + milestone merch and he wants to give them away to those who live in orlando (probably to anyone but the event will be held in orlando) though he doesn’t want it to be a covid super-spreader thing so once you pick up your item you gotta dip. just all an idea though

he has been donating them to charity too though :)

dream has likely read Heroes of Olympus before a long time ago

he says that he’ll do a give away of his childhood books with his signature on it

he was obsessed with the series (Percy Jackson) 

he really liked the Alex Rider series

has all of Maximum Ride books, 39 clues books

has read the legend series, the twilight series, and the maze runner

has all/read of the harry potter books, divergent, eragon

he would read all the time, to the point he would read more than one book a day (a book worm he says)

dream had a goal to read 200 books in a year and he wind up reading about 150

he doesn’t want to call it a library but- growing up he had something like that that had 600 or 700 or more books in it (privileged he admits it)

he has not read a book since he started youtube (about 2 years)

dream has a folder called Book that has his own writing in it

word count: 76000 words for one of his stories 

another one he wrote 5 chapters of

he sounds very excited/embarrassed talking about the stories he wrote he’s so endearing

the very first paragraph of one of his stories (he was young when he wrote this) “What exactly is darkness? is it the lack of light? is it a pit of nothingness? ... your mind is full of darkness...” then he couldn’t continue.

the story is about a kid who wakes up in a cell and has no idea where he is with other people who are in the same situation

dream has a world building document

he has a sequel to the first book he has ever written

he found a query letter that he wrote because he wanted to get his book published- he finds it very funny

he’s calling himself a nerd but idk it’s kind of endearing

“as you can tell i’ve always been incredibly cool and not a nerd at all! ever.”

he cringes at his own old videos

dream took a lot of inspiration from witches and wizards by james patterson for writing

the story is written in a way where the main character is actually writing the story so you’re getting input from the main character during it. there’s a lot of sarcasm in it and it’s making dream laugh

very first person narrator

he feels like it’d be very cool if he were to publish his works he wrote when he was 16 on amazon or something but he probably never would because he’d have to read through all of it and it’s just embarrassing for him

dream used to video call sapnap fairly frequently- even before youtube

he strictly remembers, a very long time (at least 7 to 9 years) ago he was at his old childhood house he video called sapnap. he was wearing a (technically) suit and he remembers specifically that he was giving sap a tour... 

“snazzy in a suit”

he had no reason to put on the suit (wow time is a flat circle huh)

drista is pretty close to sapnap’s height, she’s like 5′7″ but sap is still taller than her

dream filmed the whole thing when he and sapnap met but... it’s... gone because when he was clipping that one clip for twitter... it edited the whole video

he’s sure when they meet up with george they will film that too :D

DREAM IS PRETTY SURE THAT HE AND GEORGE WILL MEET THIS YEAR-- HE SAYS A 95% CERTAINTITY the five percent is like either restrictions or visa issues

dream does not play any instruments but he had a guitar hanging on his wall when he was younger...

dream is convinced they’re the same height but also sapnap is probably taller??

they had george compare his height to a door frame and dreamnap were googling for any doorframes to find any possible chance that george is taller than 5′8″ ... nothing came up

there’s a chance they’re both lying about being 5′8″

sap and george will literally just show up in stilts to prove they’re taller than each other /j

dream without shoes is between 6′2″ and 6′3″ with shoes he’s 6′3.5″

dream is talking about awesamdude’s fake height arc again LOL

dreamnap are very private people so they don’t bother each other but george doesn’t care and would just barge into their rooms and start bothering them- they were all joking about that over a voice call

he will visit europe

he thinks that greece would be a cool place to visit because sapnap’s family is from there :) so it’ll be like a nice “treat” to go back with sap :D

dream isn’t entirely sure that the dream team meet up will happen this year but he’s working out the details because he wants to make sure it’s safe

he’s talking to youtube about his face reveal

it’s up to george if he wants to eat healthy when they finally move in

dream just has a lot of meat and vegetables in his house

spinach with chicken is good

not much fruit (only apples and tomatoes)

“DRISTA IS 5″ is trending on twitter LOL (her height got cut off)

dream doesn’t want people flying to different places because he doesn’t want to encourage travel so he wants to do all of the meet ups with a two day heads up at most

he thinks that it’s awesome that ranboo and tubbo are meeting soon !! :D

it’s very cool to dream to see how far everyone’s has come since the beginning of the dsmp. everyone has done so much

dream finalized his youtube plan a couple weeks before he uploaded his video and he was talking to drista about how he was gonna be a big youtuber in a parking lot :”)

she was the first person he really ever talked to about it

dream would love to teach george how to drive it’d be really funny :D (a very good video or a livestream idea) 

dream knows how to ride a bike, he used to have to bike to school

he can’t explain dnf.gay he has no clue he is not responsible. sapnap was the one who found it LOL. he is adamantly exclaiming that it was not him

dream doesn’t worry about views/likes/dislikes a lot- mainly views but that’s for the new uploads

he hasn’t uploaded in like a month and a half (*cries*)

he wants to stream at some point but he doesn’t know when 

he wants to play geoguessr but not now... he doesn’t want to alt stream rn- maybe tomorrow!

he is insisting that the splash text on his minecraft home screen is by callahan

he asked callahan to send him bunch of text files that are dream team related so that the splash can rotate through it but callahan thought it was funny (it is) to put only dreamnotfound <3 so it doesn’t ever change at all and dream doesn’t even know how to change and he has asked callahan to change it but he said no (even though dream pays him LMAO)

the video referenced in the padilla’s video is still in the works, it might be handed over to sapnap though !

he has no idea if he will be in MCC pride yet

padilla got dream’s input for the video, dream found him to be a very nice guy ! :) it’s the first interview that dream did that wasn’t by a person with a negative opinion of dream

dream felt relaxed doing the interview with padilla 

?????? he’s blaming callahan for his “dnfisreal” nickname in bedwars 

he’s blaming callahan for a lot of dnf-related stuff

callahan runs the dream fanart account thus the liking of dnf content

he’s so insistent that it was callahan

dream admits that he was lying about the twitter and other stuff but for sure callahan did code the splash text in LOL

dream liking that tweet “the chances of george doing a hot tub stream is the same of dnf dating” was “funny” he wasnt trying to do any commentary...

the inside joke of “oh it’s all just a joke to you” originates from george and sapnap actually always fighting (like them yelling and shouting at each other) and george said something really mean and sapnap was hurt then geroge said “it was just a joke” and sapnap replied with that line and ever since then it’s been a meme LOL

he says that everyone does the hand-on-the-passenger-seat-while-reversing thing

dream is offline raiding with his chat with 6k people

dream appreciates us and will talk to us soon! 

[sagemcmae]

20 Questions - Writer’s Edition

Thank you for tagging me @chierafied​ 💕💕💕

How many works do you have on AO3? 79

What’s your total AO3 word count? 1,820,522

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Technically, 2 (Star Wars and Inuyasha), though it looks like (5) because of the cross-overs

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Reylo) He angled his head away just enough for her attempt to miss before he brought both her arms down in front of her, so he could wrap his hand around both of her wrists. With his free hand, he cupped her face, forcing her to look at him.  “It’s done.” He had a warning tone in his voice. “Yield.” MMA fighter, Kylo Ren is suspended from the league and sentenced to community service at his uncle’s martial arts academy. There he meets Rey Niima, a recent graduate with a natural ability and incredible potential. Two Truths & a Lie (Reylo) “My favorite color is black.” “I prefer pizza over cake.” “I think I'm falling in love with you.” Or in others words, Kylo Ren, Editor-in-Chief, should not drink alone with his beguiling staff writer, Rey Andor after hours. Silver & Gold (SessKag) Kagome finds a wounded stray in the park and takes him in. Seemingly indifferent to her, the dog serves as a quiet companion who eases her loneliness. He becomes a constant in her routine until one night changes everything. Kagome wakes up to an arm draped around her waist — a pale arm with purple markings. Lessons in Parenting (SessKag) Sesshomaru finds Rin not as a child but as an infant. Unsure how to care for a baby, he seeks help from the only trustworthy human he knows: his brother's miko. *2nd Place Winner - 'Best Characterization' for Feudal Connection's 2021 3rd Quarterly Inuyasha Fandom Awards!* If Found, Please Return (Reylo) Rey knows what it's like to be abandoned, so when she returns a lost dog to his posh Manhattan address, she gives his owner an earful. The only problem is, the dog's owner isn't the arrogant redhead she screamed at. It's Ben Solo, the world-renowned actor. And he's just offered her a job.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Yes (or at least I try to). If someone takes the time to read my story and leave me a note, I want to thank them. Each time I see a new note in my Inbox, I’m like 😍😍😍 And I understand how busy RL can be so I appreciate anyone who takes the time to let me know their thoughts.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? If you’ve read my work, you know I’m not big on sad endings. I prefer happy ones, mostly because life is draining enough as it is. But in terms of fic endings, if I had to pick one, I’d say: Before the Dawn.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? This is a tough one. I guess it depends on how you define ‘happiest’. If you categorize it by the fluffiest (it’s all about the feel-good vibes 🥰 ), then I’d have to go with Melt or First Words for the SessKag fandom and Sight Unseen for the Reylo fandom.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? Yes. I’m not sure if it’s the craziest one, but the one I’m most proud of is Happenstance which is my Inuyasha/Harry Potter crossover, featuring SessKag. I put a lot of research into it to meld the worlds together without compromising what makes each fandom so special to me. It’s definitely the fic that I’m most proud of writing.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Yep, a lot of people think Reylo is a toxic relationship. And there are those who have strong feelings about SessKag too. Some have commented to me about the fact that Yashahime is canon and SessKag is dead....which makes me laugh but whatever helps you sleep at night.

Do you write smut? If so what kind? I have but lately it’s been a struggle. I focus more on intimacy (in whatever form that takes depending on the pace of the story).

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I’m aware of...

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, a few have been translated into Spanish and Russian.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Waaaaaaay back in the FFnet days, a friend and I co-wrote a fic together but between our RL schedules we never finished. I actually don’t even know if it’s still posted since it was under her account.

What’s your all time favorite ship? That’s another tough one. TRoS really burned me and my love of Star Wars has suffered for it.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? Of Scales & Sky. I was so excited about this fic but my motivation has died from all the discourse in the fandom and the on-going saga of bad decisions Disney makes in regards to the SW franchise.

What are your writing strengths? Characterization is very important to me. Even if I’m putting the characters is a very non-canon premise, I want them to remain as in-character as possible.

What are your writing weaknesses? Finding the time to write. 🥲 This year has been particularly chaotic for me for several reasons.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I did write some Japanese when I re-entered the SessKag fandom with Silver & Gold. I had one very adamant reviewer who kept DM-ing me that I sounded stupid and should stop. It was very discouraging. After asking around in the fandom, other writers suggested doing what I wanted but if I’m writing in English, the primary language should remain English.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Labyrinth. When I was 13, my friend and I used to go to her house after school, sit on separate couches across from each other on our separate laptops, and write fanfiction. (*smiles* those were great times!) I often wrote in my notebooks (instead of taking notes in class) and was constantly posting on FFnet. But I also never finished anything because I was constantly distracted by other things.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? That’s like asking which child is my most favorite. 😂🤣😂 Happenstance is the fic that I’m most proud of. I feel like as a writer, it was the most challenging for me because of the continuity of the story line with the element of mystery. Shadow Song was written on a whim and quickly became one of my favorites and then there is Sanguis Sanguinem Meum which flowed so naturally that I wrote the entire thing in a couple of months.

Tagging: @sereia1313 @harlecorn @tmwillson3 @reysexualkylo

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep13: How to Get Away With Cheating in the Card Olympics

It’s been a little while since Pegasus made a card that screwed us years after it was developed...and so it’s time for it to happen again. Good ol Pegasus, screwing us all and not even knowing he’s doing it.

First off, it took me until this episode to realize that Leon and Zigfried are German and Leon is playing a Grimm Brother’s deck. I guess I didn’t notice before now because Leon was hiding his identity. But now that I know his deck is because he’s just German it’s like...well OK. That’s kind of cute. Better than that time they had the American play a deck filled with guns.

And that actually...fully explains why they are all dressed old timey. I didn’t pick up on it until just now...they’re referencing old ass fairy tales. But wtv, I still like my reaching theories of why Zigfried dresses like...that.

PS, my twitter just notified me that lots of people are getting a ‘Hime Haircut’, which is exactly the doo that Zigfried wears this season with the cropped side bangs. And like...are we sure? I see Kpop wearing it and Tik Tok kids wearing wigs but...I have yet to see a Hime in the wild. Course I haven’t gone outside in like a year so...maybe tens of thousands of people really did do a Hime Haircut during the Quarantine.

But, damn it, I decided to look at some photos, and a bunch of them looked pretty bad, but a couple looked pretty dope, and now I’m a little bit tempted to get a Hime...but I feel like it took a decade to get out of my bangs phase and like...Do I need two layers of bangs? I have naturally straight hair, I could do this, this haircut was made for me, but...

I just don’t know if I should get a haircut that looks like I’m an anime cosplayer when I can’t back it up. Nope. Cannot get this haircut. I know this haircut was made for teenagers or artists in their 30′s, and literally no one else, but no, this will be a mistake just like the side bangs I gave myself in 2006.

(looks over at scissors)

(read more under the cut)

(get it? Cut?)

Leon recalls that his brother very nicely gave him a card, and he’s so excited to finally do any activity involving his crazy ass family, that he just blindly does it.

This entire episode is about Yami not doing a hellscape when he witnesses cheating, and like...it is S5...it’s been a little while since anyone’s done a real good cheat on him, and he opened the door to darkness, and they got devoured by their own Tamagachi. It’s been a while.

And like the curse of Episode 13 was just a theory I had--but this particular Episode 13 is probably the most tame of all the 13′s (and yet, the most un-tame of this arc, which is a pretty chill arc, overall)

Yet...while this episode still fits in with their universe because the Kaiba’s are very proud so they can’t admit their duel disk has a flaw and therefore can’t forfeit the game, it kind of stretches the imagination a bit for the sake of the plot. Straight up we have a LOT of characters in this arc and they all just stood there and watched it happened.

It could have been also because this is like...televised...that no one wants to start throwing this little boy off the nearest blimp. I just wish that was addressed in the episode, other than “listen...Kaiba must allow this card to be played...or all his Duel Disks are lies.”

His Duel Disk almost caused the end of planet Earth a few weeks back, so I think it’s fine. I think this is a negligible problem to have when your disk shoots projectiles out of each end and has sharp folding edges in the shape of a blade--almost attempting to slice your face off every time you wave that thing around.

Yes, he’s trying to restore his reputation after the whole Dartz thing...but this is like...not that bad in the scale of things that have happened in the past several seasons. Maybe it’s just the last straw that broke the camels back here? One thing too far--’your disk played a broke card, Kaiba, I am pulling my investments and I refuse to go to your theme parks. I was here when you blew up that island. I was here when your company was literally bought out by the illluminati...but if that duel disk can’t play cards correctly--we’re done here.’ And TBH...that’s a very Yugioh mentality to have.

Like remember that time that Elon musk threw a brick at one of his new weird looking cars and the windshield cracked? But he was like “Oh...that was just a...listen the windshields don’t shatter, you saw nothing.” and still released the car anyway? Was kind of reminded of that.

Now...he didn’t actually go into the Dev room, we’ll go into how the hell he got this card, but first, a visit to the Kaiba Dev room.

OOOOOOooooooooh

That’s so bright!

It reminds me of how in the 90′s, the only real thing I knew to do on my computer was change the colors of the UI, so I just used the ugliest ass UI known to man for my family’s computers. I hope these computers have a mouse that leaves a tail behind and I hope that mouse is in the shape of a flying sparkling dragon.

Anyway, Duke speaks what’s on our minds:

Meanwhile, Pegasus, watching this happen over a glass of wine from inside his bathtub at Castle Pegasus, takes one very long sip while sinking into a pile of bubbles.

Seto at first is like “I literally own this tournament so thanks for losing? I don’t know why you threw it out into the trash but thanks?” But Zigfried pressured him so hard that everyone on Earth would judge his ass, and tried so hard to change the definition of what cheating even is, that Seto relented almost as if to shut Zigfried the hell up.

Zigfried explained that, technically, it’s still reads as a legal card on the disk and isn’t reaaally against the rules. Even though the rules say it’s against the rules--what are rules anyway?

Thankfully we have the King of “I dictate what the rules are AKA the rules of the universe, which I would show you, I just don’t feel like it right now, and I’m a little worried about opening that Pandora’s box, but I clearly know the rules of this card game, as stated on this Home Depot plaque that Seto gave me after I won the last tourney.”

Leon gets pretty upset about this--not so much screwing Seto Kaiba, but over the fact his brother stole his only chance at trying to beat Yugi Muto fair and square. So, trying to retain what little card honor he has left, Leon tries to self sabotage so everyone can just go the hell home.

OK so...do you think he put a floppy disk into the paper card? Like straight up how did he do that? Feel free to post your theories because like...how do you hack a paper card? Like do we even have a canon explanation of what these cards are or what they are made out of and how they theoretically work?

Anyway, now that they’ve spent a good portion of this episode discussing if this card should or should not be played, and the ethics and philosophy surrounding that, we find out that none of this matters because Zigfried was actually just stalling.

(He hacked the card so it had a virus like straight up how did he DO that without making a new card?)

Huh.

Y’all, what if I could just delete Google?

Can you imagine?

Like I know this is a kid’s show so it follows kid’s show logic and I will absolutely allow this ridiculous master plan and I will not question it, but think with me for a sec:

What if you could just delete Disney?

Damn. That’s some Y2K scare tactics propaganda right there. That’s some good YA dystopian fiction stuff.

Yo is Zigfried the good guy? He’s not, but if this were a YA novel he would be, right? Good on him.

I...do not know how the logic in Zigfried’s brain works, but if someone deleted all the files in my collaborators company and showed up at my front door and was like “I heard you were looking for a new collaborator?” I’d stick him face first into a blank paper card.

Which is, logically, the next step to Zigfried’s plan that no one has bothered to tell him yet. You just don’t mess with Pegasus, especially after all the stuff he went though with getting murdered by Mai, and Dartz showing up, he’d be so pissed right now. He might not be technically magical anymore--but it’s clear after last season that he’s still magical enough. This is a man who’s let out into the wild maybe a couple of scary cards--but hell knows how many are buried in his huge ass castle just waiting to do a murder.

This is just Zigfried hassling a hornet and the hornets nest is like...right there.

And so next episode we are going to...destroy the card? Hell, next episode might be entirely a card game and I might only have 2 caps.

Anyway, just letting you know that I typed this last night, and then had dreams that I got a Hime Haircut and hella loved it, woke up at 5:30 AM thinking about that haircut, and have since been just...

...I mean I shouldn’t do it...I cannot give myself unironic Von Schroeder hair...

...

...but what if it’s dope though?

(and here’s the link to read these from the beginning in chrono order from S1. Wish I categorized in seasons but alas I did not have that forsight back when I thought there were only 3 seasons of Yugioh total. I have since learned.)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[houseofsannae]

A Fistful of Munny - Extended End Notes

Notes for A Fistful of Munny that don’t fit within the character limit under the cut!

Please, read the fic before reading this post

           All right! Welcome to the extended notes, in which I go into excruciating detail over a bunch of stuff that doesn’t matter, because I like the sound of my own voice!

           Let’s start with some more broad stuff that didn’t make the exclusive end notes space. To do the Fistful of Dollars homage, I needed a place where I could have two villainous factions intersecting for Strelitzia to play against one another. After some brainstorming and asking for help from other people working on the Entwined in Trine Sorikai zine (and ultimately ignoring all their very good suggestions (Sorry, guys!)), I eventually realized that the Wasteland from Epic Mickey was a perfect place for this story, both in the sense of having mooks to destroy without Strels committing actual murder, and in the thematic sense of forgotten characters. There was just one issue.

           I hadn’t played Epic Mickey.

           And that is how I spent my summer, playing both Epic Mickey games. Both, because I was looking for a good location to set the story in in-world. Since the Wasteland is based on the Disney theme parks, I was hoping to find one based on Frontierland, their Western section. Such a location did exist – Disney Gulch – but only in the second game. Which meant I had to play Epic Mickey 2, as well. (The first one is a better game, but that’s not really the fault of the developers; they were not given the time they needed to make it as good as the first one. Here’s a video with trivia about the series that goes a little into the development.) I also needed to learn the Mad Doctor’s ultimate fate, since I wanted his Beetleworx/Blotworx to be one of the two villainous factions. In the game, depending on whether you chose the Paint (Paragon) or Thinner (Renegade) path, the Doc is either redeemed… or dead. Neither of which was helpful, so I had to invent.

           But let’s talk about characters and why I picked them in order. The short version for why these choices, at least on the Final Fantasy side, is set-up for later. Obviously I can’t go into detail why. Before that, let’s talk about the Beanie Baby.

           Chi is, as I hope you were able to guess, Strelitzia’s Chirithy. I’ve brought it up several times, but I personally do not like mascot characters. There are a few exceptions, but Chirithies are not one of them. Like I said, KHUx isn’t what happened in this AU, so you’ll have to wait for in-universe answers on why it’s a cat now. Out-of-universe reason is this was the only way I could make it palatable for myself. I arbitrarily decided on a gender for it because as a real cat, it would have a sex. Canonically Chirithies appear to be genderless, and in Japanese refer to themselves with the gender-neutral (but masculine-leaning) boku. I would’ve left Chi that way, save for the fact that he’s a completely normal cat now. (And before you ask, no, not every real cat that appears in KHΨ from this point on is a Chirithy.)

           As for Strelitzia herself, it’s hard for me to pick up a character’s voice when they’re… not voiced. Intonation and cadence do a lot for me mimicking the way a character talks, so it’s a bit more difficult when they don’t technically speak. I tried for a mix between Sora and Kairi, while still keeping her defining character traits of being shy, but also impulsive.

           You may notice that while she’s started remembering faces, if not names, the Player’s name and face still eludes her, despite her (canonical. Deal with it.) crush on them. There is a story reason for this, and will become clear once Luxu takes centre stage.

           The name “Jane” was chosen with more consideration than just “Jane Doe” being the standard name in (at least my corner of) the English-speaking world for a woman of unknown identity. See, the Man With No Name actually has three names. In A Fistful of Dollars, he is referred to (by one character in one scene, once) as “Joe”. “Joan” might have been a more clear homage, but I figure Jane makes sense. And as you might guess, in the next fic, Strels will be going by a different name, still not her own. She’ll remember her name… eventually.

           One might think I could’ve picked any old Cid, and one would be wrong for reasons I can’t explain yet. In fact, I can’t explain much of anything surrounding him yet. What I can say is no, Cidney Aurum is not dead, she’s just not related to Cid Sophiar in this fic verse. An unfortunate consequence of where I wanted to put each of them in the narrative; making them not be related was the only way it made any sense, geographically speaking.

           Hyperion on the other hand, I can talk about. He’s one of the Gremlins in Epic Mickey, and… wait, first things first. Gremlins are from an abandoned Disney film based on a Roald Dahl book, itself based on the cryptids that supposedly haunted airplanes and caused them to malfunction, the earliest known written-down mention of the concept being from the 1920s. The film never got made, but the designs Disney would have used were adapted into a second printing of Dahl’s book, and they were later used in Epic Mickey. Hyperion is, like the publishing imprint that Disney owns, named after a street that Walt Disney used to live on. In-game, Hyperion is in Bog Easy (based on the Haunted Mansion), not Disney Gulch, but his name stuck out to me as being particularly fun, so I picked him instead of trying to figure out what Gremlins actually are in the Gulch (they have names in the files of Epic Mickey 2, but not in the actual game, so it would have been a hunt).

           Regardless of where the setting ended up, for the second villainous faction, I was always going to plop down the good old Don. More things I can’t talk about. For everything FF7, know that I’m always going to be pulling from a mix of the original game, Remake, and Machinabridged. Hence, Corneo’s outfit is a mix of his original and Remake designs (which basically just means he’s wearing blue jeans instead of brown). I didn’t think bringing in his three lieutenants from Remake was necessary, especially since this was supposed to be a kind-of small operation.

           Leslie is picked up and dropped from Remake pretty much unchanged. I needed someone to do the murders Strels couldn’t, and even if he’s not a complete asshole, he’s still mostly an asshole. Have we ever seen small, Materia-like balls used to cast magic before…?

           Onto the fun bits, which is the Disney characters. We’ll start with Percy, who is from a Goofy short called “How to Ride a Horse”, from 1950. And that’s about it. The conceit in Wasteland is that all of the Toons there were basically actors, and they wound up in Wasteland if they were forgotten (that’s not exactly correct, but I’m generalizing). This is interesting, since two of the Toons in Epic Mickey are Horace Horsecollar and Clarabelle Cow, both of whom… are residents of Disney Town in Kingdom Hearts, having shown up in Birth by Sleep. So that’s an interesting continuity snarl that I’m going to just ignore.

           Persephone and Pluto, on the other hand, are from an earlier short called “The Goddess of Spring”, from 1934. It was one of the projects Disney tried as practice for Snow White. If you’re about to protest that his name should be Hades, not Pluto, then you’re going to need a time machine so you can tell them back in the 30s. The Goddess of Spring is a musical, in the sense that every single line is sung. Watch it for yourself. There’s a video with better quality floating around YouTube, but for some reason it’s the French dub. And that’s why both of them sing most of their lines. I tried matching the meter of their actual parts, but Persephone’s doesn’t actually follow a syllabic pattern that I could make out. I eventually gave up and just gave her the meter from the start of the short. Pluto’s was easier to manage (and more consistent).

           The skeletons are Disney veterans, presumably the same ones from “The Skeleton Dance” (1929), but more specifically they’re mimicking what they did in “The Mad Doctor” (1933), the first appearance of our other villain. They’re fun.

           The original Mad Doctor was supposedly named “Dr. XXX”, according to the name on his door. This was before the modern film rating system was put in place; it was a different time. In the original short, the Mad Doctor kidnaps Pluto (the dog) with the intent of cutting him in half and putting his front half on a chicken For Science!, and Mickey follows him to his castle to rescue the purloined pooch. The short wasn’t a musical in the same vein as “The Goddess of Spring”, but… the Mad Doctor’s only spoken lines were a song (aside from evil cackling). While I had already decided to do the “Toons that sang in their short can only communicate through song” with Persephone and Pluto before starting on Epic Mickey 2, I hilariously discovered that the game developers had done the exact same gag with the Mad Doctor, most of his lines in the game being sung. (In Epic Mickey there were no fully voiced lines, so he speaks as normally as anyone else does). Which made it easier to write his songs here, since I could just rewrite his songs from the game. I used to write alternate lyrics for songs back in high school, so this was an interesting trip back in time for me. They were stuck in my head for weeks afterwards, but it was worth it.

           I believe that’s everything for the characters. Let’s talk about Keyblades.

           It irks me that three people in KHUx have the same Keyblade. Ephemer, Skuld, and Strelitzia all have variations of Starlight. Now, in KHΨ, there is only one Starlight, and it belongs to Luxu, so I’m going to have to decide on different Keyblades for each of them. (Ephemer’s has already been decided, and I haven’t started brainstorming for Skuld yet. No I do not need suggestions, thank you). Pixie Petal bears a noted (by KHWiki) resemblance to one of Marluxia’s alternate scythes, so that tangential connection was enough for me. Both siblings have flower-themed Keyblades – it makes sense to me.

           You might notice a few disparities in the magic. These are on purpose, and will eventually make sense. And that’s all I can say on that at the moment. ;)

           Oh, yes, one important thing I probably should have said on the main notes: I’m not going for a realistic depiction of amnesia here. Anything I got right was entirely accidental, and I’m fairly certain there’s not much. There might be a story reason for why it works the way it does… and it might be the same reason why other people from KHUx have or had amnesia in the present day…

           You know what’s funny? Although Orcuses look more impressive than Invisibles, their stats in Days are actually worse. I’m fairly sure that this is because the only time we see an Orcus, it’s actually an illusion cast over Xion so that Roxas will fight her to the death. There are no other stats for them (according to KHWiki), since they’ve never been used elsewhere.

           A friendly reminder that Apprentice Xehanort invented the term “Heartless”, which was why Aqua didn’t know what to call them until Mickey told her. Thus, nobody from the era of the Keyblade War should know the term “Heartless” without being told by someone in present day. “Darkling” was the term they used instead. I’m fairly certain KHUx ignores the continuity on this (so why should we trust its continuity for anything else, hmm?)

           I think that covers everything! Or at least everything I’m willing to share at this point. If you’ve read this far, thank you! I appreciate your dedication! ^_^

[inspired-by-the-music]

For You: Stand By Me

Taglist: @jineunwootrash​

If you would like to be added to the taglist of any of this blog’s works, please ask!

Recommended Reading: For You: 4 O’Clock; these works have separate, independent, but deeply interwoven timelines.

Chapter 3: The Girl Who Wouldn’t Let Go

Sehun’s POV

In pre-debut days, before we were even grouped together, Junmyeon was determined that trainees should bond, so he wrote these little schedules of nearby events and sent them out in group messages. Owing to his busy university schedule, Junmyeon rarely went anywhere with us himself. He was absent that night in the drive-in too.

Although I was sixteen, I wasn’t especially eager to drive, so I didn’t mind when Minseok claimed the driver’s seat. Because I respected Luhan too much to complain when he bounced into the passenger seat, I quietly squeezed into the backseat where— as the youngest— I was sandwiched between Chanyeol and Kyungsoo.

Objectively, it was unfair that I was forced into the smallest seat because of my age. I get that Kyungsoo was older, and that was why I didn’t demand to trade seats. Still, I think that it only would have been right for him to take the middle seat because he was the shortest. I wasn’t really one to argue against rules, traditions, and societal roles, though, so I just folded my hands in my lap and decided that if ever I were the oldest person in the room, I wouldn’t get a big head. I wouldn’t abuse my power. I would be fair.

My members like to joke that I’m disobedient and border on disrespectful, but that’s not true. To tell you the truth, spending my Friday night in the drive-in with Chanyeol talking loudly in my ear wasn’t my idea of a good time, so my presence alone testified to my respect for Junmyeon before he was even the leader.

I wasn’t trying to be rude or disrespectful when I pushed Chanyeol out of the car as soon as Minseok parked. My legs were just aching from being cramped in the back seat, so I was eager to stretch and climb into the bed of the truck, where I could massage the knots that formed in my muscles. My eyes instinctively rolled at Chanyeol’s dramatized howls of pain as he tripped over gravel; he shouldn’t have taken offense.

As I eased my back against the cool metal wall of the truck, stretching my legs before me, Minseok smiled. His smile was always timid in those days. His voice was so quiet that my ears had to strain to make out his words. “Sehun, do you want something from the concession stand?”

Groaning at the thought of standing, I asked, “Are you going to pay for me?”

Having recovered from his trip, Chanyeol laughed as he sat next to me. “What a cheapskate!”

I didn’t think anything about what I said until I heard Kyungsoo’s faint snort of a laugh while he pushed his glasses further up on the bridge of his nose. Look— I firmly believe that seniors should pay for all expenses, and I still abide by that rule whenever I’m a senior— but I didn’t really know Minseok well enough to expect anything from him. All we had in common was that we knew Junmyeon.

Tugging my wallet out of my pocket, I prepared to hand it over with the explanation that I was too tired to walk with him after the full week of training, but Minseok wouldn’t accept my money. “Of course I’ll pay for you!” He was almost too nice. Sometimes, I don’t trust people like that, or I worry that someone will take advantage of them, but I was never worried about Minseok. “Just tell me what you want.”

I fit my wallet back into my pocket and shrugged. “I’m not picky.” Chanyeol laughed again— roaring right in my ear— and I cut my eyes at him. We were always friends, I guess, but we were very different people, and that’s why he was always on my nerves. “Just get me something sweet, please.”

Minseok nodded and, after listening to requests from Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, he took off with Luhan toward the concession stand.

Although too many hours had passed since the sunset for it to be bright enough to read, Kyungsoo held a book up to his face. He always liked to look smart, even when nobody was paying attention to him. Dropping the book to glance at me over the pages, he remarked, “You don’t seem like you would have a sweet tooth.

I blinked at him, never really caring much for people who speak in metaphors. A part of me wanted to tell him to speak plainly, but he probably wouldn’t have humored me anyway, so I bit my tongue. Besides, it didn’t matter what he meant.

Kyungsoo blinked back at me. It was obvious that he was sizing me up. That didn’t bother me so much; I just didn’t know what he thought he could discover about my character from my vague snack preferences. It’s foolish for people to attach meanings to insignificant things, but that’s something people do best.

I probably wouldn’t have responded to Kyungsoo even if Chanyeol hadn’t interrupted my thoughts to ask, “So, what movie are they playing?”

It wasn’t such a bad question. Because I only went to please Junmyeon, I didn’t know any specifics. Noticing that Chanyeol and I were looking to him, Kyungsoo answered, “Beauty and the Beast,” with a smile. He liked getting to share his knowledge.

“Like, the Disney movie?” I asked. 

Kyungsoo nodded sagely, and Chanyeol lowered his head, whining, “I didn’t realize we were here to watch a little girl movie!” He was a little too obsessed with being macho those days. If you ask me, a hyperfixation on manliness is pretty lame.

Kyungsoo glared at Chanyeol. “Animation is not exclusively for children.”

“Dude.” Chanyeol returned his glare— sharpened it. “It’s a princess movie! It’s marketed to little girls!”

“Don’t you think you’re being narrow-minded?” Kyungsoo phrased his criticism as a question, maybe, because Chanyeol was technically his senior. “Beauty and the Beast explores significant themes about sacrifice, superficiality, the nature of love—”

Regretting that I hadn’t pushed through my fatigue to walk with Minseok and Luhan, I tore my eyes away from Kyungsoo and tried to will myself deaf to his monologue as I tinkered with our portable speaker. Upon finding the station broadcasting the audio accompanying the images projected on the towering screen at the front to the lot, I frowned at an obvious problem.

I interrupted the debate to announce, “This is in English.” Even when I squinted, trying to distinguish the finer details on the screen, there were no captions to be found. When nobody responded, I added, “I don’t understand English.” 

Chanyeol nudged my ribs and joked, “Does anybody?”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes. “Just appreciate the art of animation, Sehun.” 

I huffed at Kyungsoo’s pretentious attitude, “How am I supposed to appreciate something I don’t understand?”

“Well—” Kyungsoo’s eyebrows knit together, and I knew that he was considering my words too deeply again— “you’ve seen the movie before, right?”

Before I could respond flatly that (obviously) I had, Minseok returned, carrying armfuls of snacks that he dropped in the center of the truck bed along with the bright announcement, “Look who I found!”

I don’t know who I expected to find when I glanced over at him, but judging from the drop of my jaw, I hadn’t expected to find Lei clinging onto Luhan’s arm. I hadn’t expected to see her beaming up at him as if he hung the moon. 

When Luhan gestured for her to climb into the truck before him, she gasped, “Where did Heechul go? One second, he was standing next to me, and the next—” Her head turned from side to side as if she couldn’t imagine how she wound up at our truck. 

As stupid and irresponsible as it was, I could have forgiven her for losing Heechul in her starry-eyed pursuit of Luhan. After all, she was just a kid. But I couldn’t forgive Heechul for losing her. Who knows what could have happened if Minseok and Luhan hadn’t been there to lead her through the dark? All I knew was that after that night, I wouldn’t be able to look at Heechul without confronting the urge to roll my eyes at his carelessness. 

While Chanyeol, who never liked Lei for whatever stupid reason, stiffened at my side, Kyungsoo dropped his book to wave at her. “Hey, Lei!” 

My eyebrows twitched. How did Kyungsoo know her? Glancing from Kyungsoo’s joyful wave to Chanyeol’s scowl to Minseok’s small grin to Luhan’s dimpled smile, I realized that Lei wasn’t a stranger to anybody. Except for Chanyeol, she had managed to charm everyone into being her friend despite the age difference. 

It would have been weird to be jealous or possessive of a kid’s attention— even Lei’s— but there was something weird about recognizing that I wasn’t the only trainee she knew well enough to greet outside of the agency. It shouldn’t have been such an epiphany. I knew I wasn’t the center of the universe or anything. I knew that before we ever met, she was well acquainted with real idols. She was loved by real idols. 

She just always had this way of looking at me that made me feel— I don’t know. I don’t like talking about this kind of thing. I guess that moment was humbling. I guess Lei continued to humble me when she settled into the space next to me only to excitedly chatter to Luhan in rapid-fire Mandarin. Despite my basic understanding of the language, I couldn’t quite keep up with what they said between giggles. 

I guess I had always known that Lei wouldn’t cling to her crush on me forever. I guess I knew that I had been hoping for that day to come quickly, but now that I thought it had arrived, I felt weird. It wasn’t that I wanted her to like me or anything. I guess the issue was that if she had outgrown me, time really was passing, and it had done so without my permission. Nobody is ever that comfortable with time. 

When Lei and Luhan fell silent just long enough to glance at me before laughing again, it was obvious that they were talking about me. The tips of my ears probably burned. 

“Yeah,” I understood Luhan as he nodded at Lei, “he is pretty handsome.”

Oh. So that’s still what she thought of me. Weirdly, I was relieved. Some things would probably never change. Maybe Lei would always think I was handsome. Maybe no matter how many times I told her not to flirt, she would do what she wanted. Maybe people should learn to find comfort in constants. 

Probably because she seemed so happy, chewing through a chocolate bar as she talked to Luhan, probably because I was kind of (just a little) flattered, I swallowed the fading urge to lecture her. I instead listened to Chanyeol growl, “Look, Minseok, I don’t care where you found her. I just know that she can’t stay here.”

Although Chanyeol hadn’t said her name, Lei was sensitive to his criticism. Drawing her knees up to her chest, she said in a small voice, “I should probably go. My mom is probably worried about me.”

Kyungsoo was only trying to be helpful when he offered, “We’ll help you find your parents.” He wasn’t trying to knock all the air out of Lei’s chest. 

She ceased her efforts to climb down the side of the truck, collapsed at my side, and wheezed. I had seen Lei upset before, but never in my life had I seen somebody look so wounded by mere words— words that weren’t even harsh. Blinking at her, I understood: Lei didn’t have parents.

We never talked about her family. I would never know how to approach that topic— and I didn’t know yet that her mom was the idol who never debuted. I could just tell from her labored breathing that she didn’t have a father. That’s why she followed her mom everywhere. That’s why she sat alone at that table by the vending machine every day. That’s why she claimed Super Junior as her family, and that’s why they protected her: they were filling a void. 

Had I believed that an embrace could mend that kind of deep wound, I would have wasted no time in slinging an arm around her shoulders to brace her against everyone’s stares. I didn’t believe that, though, even if I wanted to, so I just laid my arm over the edge of the car, cutting my eyes at Chanyeol (because he was on my nerves, and we were only in this situation because he couldn’t be nice to Lei for five seconds) and Kyungsoo (because, despite his good intentions, he prodded at Lei’s wound and made it impossible for me to ever overlook the scar again). 

I said, “I don’t think we should rush to return Lei to whoever abandoned her at the concession stand.” I think I was angry. My hands were balled into fists, and my jaw was so tense that my words were almost unintelligible. I’m not sure, though; I’m not that experienced with anger. 

Even before her breathing hitched at the word ‘abandoned,’ I should have known that I said the wrong thing. I wasn’t trying to make matters worse. I didn’t know what to say. I could only grimace at my mistake after the fact— after I couldn’t snatch the words back out of the air. 

Luhan playfully tugged on one of Lei’s twin braids and, after earning the faintest grin, he said, “I think we should keep Lei! At least until the movie ends.”

Well. If you put me at that awkward stage— no, even me on my best night— next to Luhan, I guess it’s clear who any kid (or maybe any girl at any age) would prefer. We weren’t even in competition, and I felt like Luhan was winning. How stupid. 

Nodding enthusiastically, Minseok agreed with Luhan, Chanyeol groaned, and Kyungsoo insisted (despite the fact that the entire drive-in was a dead zone) that we should call Lei’s parents, but Lei didn’t respond to any of them. She didn’t even seem to hear them. She only looked at me with big eyes. 

Did she want me to tell her what to do? I guess that was something I did often enough without being asked, but— for the first time in a while— I didn’t know what to say. 

Unsure of what to do with the authority she always entrusted to me, I cast my eyes toward the screen and fidgeted with the speaker. “Hey, Lei.” I didn’t glance at her, but I could still feel her eyes watching me. I know she wasn’t looking for fault. I know that she was just admiring me the way only a kid can. Still, I squirmed. “Can you translate this movie for me?”

Once I looked at her, and she understood that I was encouraging her to stay— resolving within myself to help her find her mom and Heechul once the street lights turned on at the end of the movie— she smiled. Her gap was now replaced by the metallic glint of braces. I guess I was just glad that she could breathe again. 

Lei had just started to nod her head when a shriek broke through the quiet night. “Why don’t you shut the hell up? If you’re so invested in how this fairytale ends, I’ll tell you— the girl falls in love with the beast! He falls in love with her! And it’s beautiful! Now, get out of my way! I’m looking for my kid!”

In the moments before I realized that the shriek belonged to her mom, while the guys and I spun our heads in search of the conflict, I clutched Lei’s arm and pulled her behind me so I could shield her. In the event of a real emergency, I don’t know how effective my body would have been as a shield, but I wasn’t really thinking too deeply. At some moments in life, you act purely on instinct. That was one of those moments. My instinct was to protect Lei from the screaming woman. 

In hindsight, even now that I know that there was no real threat to our safety, I am proud of my instincts. 

Heechul’s voice preceded him. “Kimberly, you have to calm down.”

Recognizing Heechul’s voice, I figured that Kimberly must have been Lei’s mom’s name. My forehead wrinkled as I tried to fit the name with her face. It was weird, I guess, because I had never heard it before, just like I had never heard her yell. 

“Calm down?” She laughed one of those hollow laughs. The scary kind. “You leave my child all alone at the concession stand, and you have the nerve to tell me to calm down?”

Heechul must have been stupid to argue with a panicked mother. “I told you, she wasn’t alone! She was with two handsome young men—” Minseok and Luhan, I assumed— “and from how she lit up while talking to them, I assumed that they were friends!”

“So you just left her there?”

“I didn’t mean to!” I don’t know how Lei’s mom resisted the urge to punch Heechul’s face that must have coursed through both of us with comparable intensity. “Besides,” he added, “Lei is, like, a black belt in taekwondo, so if she was in trouble—”

“She is a little girl!” Lei’s mom screamed to drill the rather obvious reminder into Heechul’s thick skull. Some kind of desperation ripped through her voice and caused Lei to tense under my grip. 

Something about the frown I found on Lei’s face when I glanced back at her and the fear in her mom’s voice spurred me to action. “Come on, Lei.” I ushered her out of the bed of the truck, offering both of my hands so she wouldn’t trip. “Let’s go find your mom.”

Her small, cold hands trembled in mine, and as I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong, it dawned on me: she was afraid of the dark. She tripped once or twice because her eyes were fixed up on the sky, probably searching for the moon and stars. 

Once we found her mom and Heechul after a few minutes that felt like eternities because of the silence and her palpable fear, I thought they would never stop thanking me for being, as Heechul said, a knight in shining armor. 

“You’re welcome,” was the only thing to say. I guess I meant it because something like pride spread through my chest and pulled my lips into a smile even though it was dark and nobody could see it. 

When I released her hand, Lei mumbled, “Well, I guess you’re leaving now, right?” Although I couldn’t quite make out the features on her face, I imagined from her tone that she must have been pouting. Without even waiting for my reply, she said, “Goodnight, Sehun. Thank you for helping me find Mom and Heechul.”

Mostly because I wanted Lei to be happy— and I realized that somehow, just by being around, I made her happy— I raised an eyebrow at her. “What are you talking about? I told you— I need a translator, and nobody back in that truck knows English. Where you go, I go.”

Hearing my excuse for tagging along, neither her mom nor Heechul objected. Breathing another sigh of relief because Lei was safe and sound, they led us back to their car. As Heechul finally started to apologize for losing Lei in the first place, nobody noticed that Lei was bold enough to reach for my hand again with the whispered excuse, “I don’t want to get lost again, Sehun.”

I gave her a stern stare— the one I tried to reserve for the lectures about acting appropriately around boys— and I know she must have felt it. I know she must have been able to see it even in the darkness when she looked up at me, but she wouldn’t let me go. 

I guess because I started it by holding her hand first, I guess because I didn’t want her to get lost again either, I guess because I wanted to be some comfort even if I couldn’t cure her fear of the dark, I guess because I didn’t want to risk driving the smile from her face, I just let her do what she wanted that one time. 

That one time would become two times and then three and then a hundred and then a thousand and then a million until I didn’t know how to tell her no anymore, until I didn’t want to tell her no anymore, until I didn’t know what to do when she wasn’t bold anymore, until I didn’t quite know what to feel when she didn’t look at me first anymore. When I walked with her through the night that was too dark to find any stars or even the moon, I swear I never imagined that she would grow into somebody that I love in the heart-fluttering, gut-wrenching, world-changing kind of way. 

Then, Lei was just a kid who deserved a protector, and I was just one of many who tried to overfill the place of a father who never should have left her. 

As I walked with her, deciding what I would say to Chanyeol when he would inevitably curse me for ditching him (again) for Lei, I told myself that I wouldn’t have been able to find my way back to the truck anyway. And it wasn’t a lie, I swore as Lei’s translation of the movie— complete with unique voices for each character— captivated everyone in her mother’s car. 

[purplesurveys]

1180

The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? Yeah, I’m pretty paranoid and always feel the need to use conditioner because of a bad rebonding job from like a decade ago that stiffened up my hair as soon as it would get wet. It lasted for around a year, so I formed the habit of always using conditioner every time I shower. I don’t think I’ve ever used just shampoo since then.

Do you prefer light or dark jeans?  Dark, but I suppose it would be nice to start experimenting with lighter shades as well.

When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen?  It depends if I know the lyrics or I’m feeling the song at the moment. Obviously with my new obsession with BTS I can’t really sing along to entire songs, but I do sing the few English lyrics they have per song, hahaha.

Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook?  Yeah but she’s been muted for like half a year already, as is the rest of her family. I do have plans to unfriend her entirely; I’m just not sure when I would push through with it, and I already gave Angela permission to log onto my account one of these days to be the one to do the unfriending.

Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person?  Gabie. I miss the friendship sometimes; I don’t think I’ll have a friendship as deep and connected as the one we had, so I will always feel sorry about how that went to waste. But I don’t really think about our relationship anymore as I’m pretty good at blocking off certain memories, so I don’t miss her in that sense.

How many cars are parked at your house right now?  Two.

Do you have any Italian ancestry?  I highly doubt so. If anything there’s probably a tiny drop Spanish blood in there but that’s the most European I’ll ever get.

Do you prefer water to be ice cold or at room temperature?  Like, drinking water? Ice cold, always. I hate warm water.

Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak?  Not to my face, but I know I’m one so I’m sure other people have said that about me at least behind my back.

Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found?  Yes, my friend Mik and one of my aunts. They were both found eventually.

What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten?  Eating ghost pepper instant noodles was a pain I would never want to go through again...I threw that shit out after my first forkful, lmao.

Do you need to talk to someone?  No, not in particular. In a more general sense I do wanna start gaining more friends though, so I’ve been meaning to expand my circle by creating a new Twitter account just for my BTS dump. In other words, I am a 23 year old with a stan Twitter HAHAHAHA

Is something confusing you at the moment?  No, I’m good.

When was the last time you had a real deep chat?  Maybe my conversation with Andi a couple of nights back. We were talking about a tricky situation with their ex-friend who turned out to be a real dick when they came out to him a year ago, and they just wanted to get my perspective on how I would handle it.

Who did you last see on webcam?  The PR manager for one of our clients, who we all despise because he doesn’t know how to do his job. Thankfully he’s resigning soon so we’re all just waiting for him to leave and finally meet a much more competent replacement.

What’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)?  Angela has two dogs, Hailey and Kennedy. Andi had Apollo, who I wanted to meet so badly but sadly he passed away a week ago at 15.

Have you ever taken a picture while laying in the grass?  There are photos of me sitting on grass, but not lying in it. I would imagine that would feel very prickly and uncomfortable.

Who’s your favorite Disney character? Baymax or Flynn Rider.

Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk?  I’ve made my friends chug drinks or down shots and it’s happened vice versa, but it was always in good fun and we never made each other harassed from it. It’s just your typical college rambunctiousness, and if anyone felt uncomfortable or iffy then we didn’t hesitate to move on.

When was the last time you used a pay phone and who were you calling?  I’ve only ever seen those in my first school, when I was in kindergarten. I never got to use it and they also took them out not long after.

Do you like being kissed on the neck?  Yessssssssss

Have you ever had sex with someone you weren’t dating (but had feelings for) in the hopes that they would ask you out later?  Nope. I don’t think I would have sex with anyone I wasn’t dating.

What’s the most you would be willing to spend on a good bra?  Probably a couple thousand bucks if I thought I looked good in it.

Do you have any of your teachers’ personal cell phone numbers saved in your contacts list?  I don’t think so. I never tried getting close with any of them, and I always tried to stay hidden as much as possible. I was just in class to get good grades and pass.

Do you ever stalk peoples’ personal blogs, even if you don’t know them very well?  I never really scroll through people’s Tumblrs anymore. That was more of a thing I did in like 2013, but these days going through my dashboard is enough.

What’s one thing about today’s generation that you just can’t stand?  Some social media trends done for clout make me revolted, especially when it has anything to do with wasting food. I also hate when they do extreme pranks that I know I wouldn’t find funny if I were ever the victim, like tossing someone’s phone into the ocean.

Be honest: how do you feel about abortion?  Pro-choice. 

Is there anyone you currently want to reach out to?  I would love to catch up with Katreen at some point, but I know we’re at different points in our lives now and it would probably never happen.

What is your favorite piece of art you own?  I commissioned my sister to make an artwork of the 2D1N cast, and she did a great job making it! I haven’t gotten to use it or promote it yet, but I will soon. It’s really well-done.

What’s the one thing you apologized for this month?  Replying late.

My favorite color is ______?  Pastel pink.

I wish I had _____?  Longer weekends.

What did you buy today? Nothing – I’d call that a success lmao, I’ve been spending money as if I had a million fucking bucks over the last week. I did have some packages arrive today though: my own copy of 2 Cool 4 Skool (my first physical BTS album!!!!!!); the official poster from their album BE; the Ivy Park sneakers I ordered earlier this month, and an Ivy Park bucket hat Bea had apparently gotten for me as a birthday present.

What has challenged your morals?  Vices.

What made you pick up the last book you started reading?  I had to read it in preparation for a one-on-one session with my employer’s CEO.

What about your life concerns you the most? Whether a stable future is in the cards for me.

What do you find particularly offensive? Would you say you’re easy or difficult to offend?  Probably Filipino-American comedians or influencers who use stereotyping of Filipino accents and habits as a punchline; they do more harm to the culture than good. I can tell you not one Filipino who lives in the Philippines actually finds those funny, and Bretman Rock is probably the only personality who’s able to flaunt the culture in an entertaining and hilarious yet classy way.

When it comes to being offended, I guess it depends on the context. My humor can get pretty dark and low-blowy, but I would have a problem with someone who I know has genuinely problematic views.

What was the last series you finished watching? Do you have any plans to begin another?  I think it may had still been Start-Up from last December. I’m not too big on Korean dramas since I find one episode waaaaaaayyyyyyy too long. I don’t think I’ll be starting on anything soon, Korean or otherwise.

What is one way in which you are different from a year ago? What is one way in which you are still the same?  I’m single now, for the first time in technically six years. I also think I’m doing better and happier, breakup notwithstanding. OH and I love wasabi now, hahah. As for what’s unchanged, I still like taking surveys and I’m still stuck at home, though the latter’s not really in my control anymore.

If you could learn about anything without the stress of grades or cost, what kind of classes would you take?  I’d just go back to UP for the free tuition. We also have the widest range of programs out of any university in the country, so it’s a damn good deal.

Name a song you’ve listened to today?  Fly To My Room - BTS

When you were younger, did you have a swing set or a playhouse in your backyard?  We didn’t; but one of our relatives that we’d regularly visit did have a playground that I’d use all the time. It’s still there, just very unmaintained since no one uses it anymore.

Is your mall nice?  Which one? We have five different malls nearby lol. Mall culture here is on another level.

Do you have a Sonic near you? If so, what’s your favorite drink from there?  No. I’m not so sure what they serve there, either. I’m guessing milkshakes?

Will you be voting in the presidential elections next time around?  I’ll always exercise my right to vote.

How do you feel about chocolate-covered strawberries?  I hate strawberries and I hate fruits, so even if you coat that shit in Nutella and cookie butter and chocolate syrup I still wouldn’t touch it.

Did you ever stop having feelings for someone and then started having those feelings again for them? No.

Do you hate the last guy you had a thing with?  I’ve never had a thing with guys.

To whom did you last give the finger?  I haven’t had to do that in a while.

What was the last musical instrument played in your presence?  My sister’s keyboard.

Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream?  Not particularly. They make things look cute, but they never taste like anything tbh so I never saw the point in paying extra just to have them on my desserts.

Honestly, have you ever crashed a party before?  Nah. I cringe thinking about that.

Do you know how to do the moon walk?  I don’t.

Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice?  Never gotten that specific compliment before because I know I don’t have one.

Onion rings or french fries?  Onion rings.

Has anybody ever described you as a heart breaker? No.

Has anybody ever told you that you talk too fast?  I don’t think so, but I know I have the tendency to do so occasionally, especially while I’m presenting a deck. Once I notice it I make an effort to pace myself.

Who is the best cook that you know?  My dad and both my grandmas all deserve that title.

Which meal throughout the day do you skip the most?  I literally never have lunch ever.

What’s the largest amount that you can juggle at one time?  I can’t juggle.

What was your favorite thing to go on at the playground as a kid?  Sandboxes, since I liked the texture; the sandboxes in school were also often empty, which worked well for my introvert self. I find that it’s carried over to today, since I still enjoy touching things like slime and kinetic sand.

Do you know how much you weighed at birth? How much?  I think 5 or 6 lbs, I’m not exactly sure but it’s definitely somewhere in that small range.

Which aspect of your daily routine takes the most time? What do you do?  Work, for sure. I work a normal 9–6 so that’s already 8 hours out of my day, but I also OT a lot after hours, and I work throughout my lunch break as well so that technically makes it 9 hours. I also like getting up earlier and starting some work before my shift so that I would have less tasks on my plate for the day.

Do you enjoy buying gifts for others, or could you do without this?  I LOVE getting people gifts. Food is especially my love language, and I always get food delivery for my friends, family, and my team at work.

What is one thing you are expected to do, if anything?  I mean, I have work deadlines tomorrow so there’s that.

How do you tend to view driving? Monotonous or entertaining?  I love driving. I don’t think I ever complained about having to do it. It’s calming and relaxing when I’m doing it alone or with a partner; and it can be entertaining with the right set of people.

Do you enjoy talking about music with others? Not always. If I don’t listen to the artist then I can find the conversation quite boring, like if my friends would get into a full-blown discussion about Taylor Swift.

Is acting something you enjoy?  No. It wouldn’t even be something I’d be interested in doing.

When do you feel most accomplished?  Finishing a work day with no tasks left behind.

Do you think Manwich is amazing or completely gross?  Idk what that is.

How many best friends do you have?  Two.

Are you a smoker, drinker, pothead or none of the above?  I drink sometimes. I also kinda smoke, I guess.

If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced?  My mom had them pierced when I was a month old.

Do you own any exercise machines?  My mom has this rowing equipment thingy. I don’t have any of my own, though.

On Facebook, do you have people listed as your siblings who aren’t really your siblings?  No.

Have you ever drawn or painted a self-portrait?  I remember having to draw one as a school assignment, but I’m pretty sure I half-assed that because I couldn’t care less for art class back then.

Who was your last voicemail from?  We don’t have voicemails.

Have you ever been falsely accused of something serious?  I don’t think so. That’s the sort of situation that would stick out in my memory if ever.

Did you ever set up a lemonade stand when you were a kid?  No, not a thing here.

When was the last time you spoke to someone in a different language?  Around an hour ago when I went downstairs and chatted with my sister briefly.

Have you ever received an anonymous gift?  Nope.

Have you ever camped out somewhere for an event the next day?  Nope but I definitely still wouldn’t be opposed to doing that haha.

When were you the saddest in your life? 2016 was fucking miserable. < I’d have to agree. 2017 was also awful.

Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you?  I used to know one but she got out of it. In a sense, I suppose I also was in one.

If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you?  Well they’re younger, so they definitely still live here, with our parents. I’m the first one expected to move out, but I’m taking my time.

Have you ever gotten searched by the cops?  No.

Do you like fried rice?  Of course. I like any kind of rice.

What was the last thing you drank?  Water.

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

Animaniacs Reboot Episode One

Fandom how we doin? Doin alright? Good!! We deserve to have a great reboot with these characters. I’ve been waiting for this day for the last two years of telling my friends who watched the original show (or even the ones that didn’t who were polite enough to lesson to me ramble). The best way to get my thoughts in order is-you guessed it!! A bulleted list!! 

- The Jurassic Park intro is still one of my favorite things that I have ever seen in any cartoon!!  

-Wakko and Yakko imitating each other is something that I never knew I needed in my life and I freaking howled with laughter hearing it!! 

-THE FREAKING OPENING SONG BEING SO SIMILAR YET KEEPING IT MODERN IS SOMETHING SO AMAZING!! The one thing that I didn’t get was Dot has wit, she’s cute they’re all witty. Though they are technically all cute!!

-Yakko’s little laugh seeing the water tower for the first time in 22 years was so cute okay? I love him, he’s my favorite of the group always has been and always will be. 

-There is a tad more sibling abuse this time around, I saw a lot of people hating on Yakko for smacking Wakko in one of the promos. To me it was more of a light bitch slap. It was more along of the lines of “Dumbass why didn’t you remember?! Do I have to do everything around here?!” 

- I already figured that Wakko left his sandwich there 22 years ago but watching him actually eat it was SO GROSS!! Like baby I’ll make you a much better sandwich just give me a few minutes. But him tripping the wires on his way back after doing that intricate “sandwich” dance was both hilarious and in character. 

- THERE LITTLE HUG I AM DEAD FROM CUTENESS!!! Also Dot breaking the fourth wall loved that

- Return of Frank Welker for Ralph!! He was always one of my favorites when I was a little kid with his bumbling idiocy. 

- I like the new CEO fine, she has room for development a little bit but her comedic timing was really good!! 

- Also Yakko calling Ralph “Ralphie” was adorable and nobody can tell me otherwise. 

- “I’m the eating stuff guy!!” Yes you are baby but Yakko is the knowledge boi and he needs to know everything (within the last 22 years that got a cackle out of me)

- Alright onto something that made me utterly lose my shit, the songs. Holy hell are these songs fantastic!! I love them so much, Randy freaking Rogell needs more love in the world as our resident song writer. Nobody writes songs for cartoons quite like he does. It’s still just as educational as it was 22 years ago and I love that this show is still teaching stuff to children with the same fast pace so at the end of the song you wonder if you learned anything at all or if you just loved the song. Also them being self aware about what year it was had me rolling on the floor. 

-ALSO BILL CLINTON STILL PLAYS THE SAX

- (A little side note I love these singing voices even 22 years later Rob still sings like a damn angel for Yakko, Tress is still adorable af for Dot and I still adore Jess’s Wakko in whatever quantity I can get him) 

- BRAIN INVENTED THE INTERNET?! WHY DIDN’T ANYBODY TELL ME THIS?! 

- Also Brain’s insults are still fire “Pinky I’d be worried this drivel is turning your mind soft but you can’t mash what is already mush.” I have always loved their dynamic ever since I was a little girl. Also I have missed “Pinky are you pondering what I’m pondering?” way too much. 

- “That’s nice Brain. I spent the last 22 years undergoing rigorous psychotherapy and realized that our codependent relationship isn’t based on a shared desire to conquer the world but rather my enabling of your systematic emotional and physical abuse.” Baby yes you are absolute right about that and you should say it

- “And do you know what most humans use it for? I do but I don’t think I can say it” WAS THAT A PORN REFERENCE?! 

- The bear on the phone in St Peterburg got a good laugh out of me not gonna lie 

- Opera cat was super cute!! I also loved the almost Grinch-like smile on Seth Myers 

- “Oh that’s a great photo so life like!! *Brain* Ring Ring *Pinky* Hello!! Brain’s phone *Brain* May I speak with the imbecile who ruined my plan? *Pinky* That’s me!!” As much as I hate Pinky abuse this was genuinely funny!!

- I love Yakko’s wide eyed face as he looks around taking everything in!! He’s so cute!!

- “I bet I can sing a bitingly satirical song about it!! Didn’t we just do that before Pinky And The Brain?” YES THIS IS THE HUMOR THAT I LOVE FOURTH WALL JOKES ARE THE BEST IN THIS SHOW

- Wakko’s hip bump with Raven was so stinking cute!! 

- “If you wanna make some easy cash just recycle and rehash” Disney the last five years anybody? 

- The harmonies are so beautiful on this song!! 

And now I’m done!! I hope that everybody enjoyed the episode as much as I did (And I took a lot of cute Pinky pics if anybody wants to use them as an icon)

[mindctrlaltdel]

Random Reviews: Mulholland Drive

This movie is BASIC INSTINCT, written and directed by Salvador Dali.

***

Recently, I watched MULHOLLAND DRIVE for the first time for my friend Shawn Eastridge's podcast, MISSING FRAMES (www.thenerdparty.com/missingframes/episode-103-mulholland-drive).

As I watched this odd, funny, disturbing, interesting flick, I took the following notes. Is it, as some critics say, the BEST FILM OF THE 21ST CENTURY? Here's an inside look at my viewing experience as I mulled over MULHOLLAND DRIVE...

[PRESS PLAY]

I love how the first five minutes is basically a bad late 90's Gap commercial, all swing dancing, no point...

The Mulholland Drive sign is calling to us. The street, Mulholland Drive, is Bali Hai for perverts.

Justin Theroux gets top billing over Naomi Watts??

I gotta admit, I saw one of the movie's original posters and thought "Naomi Watts AND the lady from the first MEN IN BLACK is in this? It's the triumphant return of Linda Fiorentino." When I DIDN'T see her name in the opening credits, I was disappointed. She's NO Linda Fiorentino... for this role, she's even better. AND she's a countess (seriously, look it up). Oh, and Robert Forster shows up for 10 minutes.

Not-Linda Fiorentino has some hustle in her for someone who just survived a horrible head on collision.

I like how the street signs kind of tell us where we are and what kind of world we're in. It's like a surreal, dramatic version of that Californians SNL sketch.

You mean to tell me that the red-headed older woman didn't see not-Linda Fiorentino under her kitchen table? UnbeLIEVable.

Holy crap, the wide-eyed guy in Winky's - he plays Jimmy Barrett, the comedian in MAD MEN... and MAD MEN is an interesting connection here, because everyone talks in this measured, paced deliberate way throughout that series, kind of similar to how the characters usually speak in the David Lynch productions I've seen... When I started watching MAD MEN, I thought the actors were purposely directed to speak that way, so everything to seem more "real" as opposed to that fast-talking, old-Hollywood style that you'd expect to see from outspoken, big idea-types. I imagined that Matt Weiner wanted people to seem - at least to modern audiences - the way people actually were - particularly, the inhabitants of the intelligent and cerebral world of ad men, working behind the scenes, on the fringes of show business. But then Jimmy Barrett, an old-timey comedian ALSO spoke that way. And it just didn't seem authentic to me. Anyway, back to THIS movie...

OH and that dingy woman behind the dumpster! She's like if Captain Howdy moved out West and got all LA on us. Is that Cloris Leachman covered in mud? And the music... for some reason, there's nothing scarier than the sound of an HVAC vent on full blast. (According to this article, www.vulture.com/2014/10/mulholland-drives-evil-hobo-breaks-her-silencio.html,the actress who played Evil Hobo #1 said of her audition process: "I don’t mean to brag, but David Lynch said he was looking for the most incredible face he could find. I actually met him at a Twin Peaks party, and he was like, 'Look at that face!'")

I love the X-Files-style synth strings that play over Naomi Watts (Betty) and gram-gram (Irene) as they walk through the hotel, I mean the airport... Aw, these two old people love Betty. What a different life she's living than that countess who's not Linda Fiorentino who's squatting in that redhead's apartment that Betty's about to move into.

Even then, Naomi had a good American accent. (Although I learned she's technically British but split her time between England and Australia), those Australians are great at spitting out neutral American sounds. But once I learned that Betty is supposed to be Canadian, I was very disappointed. It's not THAT authentic. Where are her "Aboots"? And she didn't put maple syrup on anything in this whole movie.

Oh my God, are Irene and her husband, riding in this towncar, ALSO going to get held up, like not-Linda Fiorentino at the beginning of the movie? Oh okay, they're not. We just followed them for no reason other than to see that they look happier than an old couple in a Cialis commercial. I guess meeting Betty really improved their sex life or something.

Coco - of course she's a fading hollywood starlet... AHHH, Coco is played by Ann Miller - good for her. She's basically that kooky old landlady from SEINFELD, the one who worked with the Three Stooges that Kramer met when he went to LA. Look at all these connections!

"Prize-fighting kangaroo who shits all over the courtyard" - do you think Naomi Watts is going to come out and say, "as an Australian, I was actually offended by this line, but I was scared into silence by that power-hungry monster, David Lynch."

The countess - who now goes by "Rita" - does kind of look like Rita Hayworth. I like the connections to old Hollywood and to noirs and how it's all wrapped together. Rita Hayworth is also a redhead, like Betty's aunt. She's of Spanish descent as well... and the actress playing Rita in this movie is of Mexican descent... Connections, connections.

I love that this casting session is basically run by a deep state shadow organization with a weird waiter in a red blazer... This is how Disney cast WandaVision.

HAHAHAH "That is one of the finest espressos in the world sir!" - this is DEFINITELY how Disney casts their movies. And Justin Theroux is the only man with integrity in this room! Does anyone have any class in this town!? They don't even validate his parking.

This is my favorite movie about making movies since BOWFINGER. And I may not be lying. And somehow less weird than THE ARTIST.

Is everyone gonna start killing each other over Ed's famous black book? This is oddly funny.

"Something bit me bad!" This incredibly long fight scene between the blond guy and secretary... it reminds me of the Uma Thurman/Daryl Hannah trailer fight in KILL BILL VOL. 2 but with less snakes.

These closeups of lingering looks on Rita's cash-filled purse are great... She's pulling wads of cash out of that purse one at a time, like Leslie Nielsen pulling eggs out of that blond lady in AIRPLANE!

I want to know what direction David Lynch gave that braless woman who's following the blond assassin around. It's like she's doing an acting exercise... like you know, when you're told to fill the space... "walk around the room, and clear your head. And now you're walking really fast. And now you're slow. NOW, imagine what it would be like to walk with your nose as the furthest point in front of you. Lead with your nose..." And David Lynch did that and told the braless woman to lead with her chest.

Justin Theroux is basically Robert Downey Jr.'s character from BOWFINGER, except NOW, he's the protagonist.

Betty is loving Rita's amnesia a bit too much. If this were my life, Rita would be the most interesting thing to happen to me too. Hell, if I was from Ontario, getting off at LAX would rock my world.

When Justin Theroux enters his glass-walled home to find his wife with another man, well... Justin Theroux may never star in something like HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN, but I can definitely picture him in YUPPIE WITH A GOLF CLUB.

That slinky theme song playing in Justin Theroux's/Laraine's house is a song that I actually listen to in my tiki, lounge playlist - to give you a hint of my music tastes. What I listen to for fun, Billy Ray Cyrus puts on to drown out his love-making.

By the way, BILLY RAY CYRUS!!! WHAT? Is this how Miley was conceived??? I think yes.

Pink paint in a jewelry box! This is much better than the usual throwing-all-his-belongings-out-a-second-story-apartment-window-scene that happens in every other movie.

I wouldn't be THAT excited if I learned MY name was Diane Selwin. BUT the sexxxual tension with the waitress Diane at the diner is palpable!

So, not-Linda Fiorentino has amnesia. How does she know that answering machine is NOT her voice!?

Justin Theroux/Adam Kesher's wife is very aggressive with the large man who's so dedicated to finding Adam Kesher that he keeps calling Adam's name in vain like the secretary in my doctor's office.

I watched this movie in pieces, the first half late at night. The second half the next morning. In between, while sleeping, I had a dream where Betty and Rita were looking over a map and any time one of their hands brushed over another, their hands would turn gold. As if this was a stylistic choice made by the filmmaker directing my dream to show that there's some kind of deeper relationship between these two women. So I've started dreaming in Lynch.

I like how this film is so utterly connected to not only Lynch's subconscious, but the audience's as well. Lynch is TAPPED IN. I don't always love when a film goes all in with a surreal style, because sometimes that's just a cover for something lacking in the storytelling department. But I do feel there's more to it here, in MULHOLLAND DRIVE.

The hooded woman, Louise... I feel like I've run into her on the streets of New York. A Louise will ALWAYS find a way to give you a portent of doom that ruins your day. Friggin’ Louise.

This movie is so moody, you really have to be in the mood to watch it.

There's something magical and prophetic about the cowboy, like he's the seer that the old general sees on the eve of battle... Also, I love how the lead female role in Justin Theroux's movie is his sword of destiny. There's a glitz and gleam and nostalgia to Old Hollywood that naturally gives this movie, set in "modern" Hollywood," a total fantasy vibe.

Hahaha that "You're still here?" scene rehearsal between Betty and Rita is an excellent transition.

James Karen - the real estate guy from POLTERGEIST - is handling casting! "He moved the headshots but he didn't cast the bodies!!"

The casting direction: "Don't play it for real until it gets real." It's interesting how the characters, who work in the "business," seem to control their reality. Betty seems unsure of where the scene is going, then she gets into it. And it really speaks to her conversion from a bright-eyed new arrival to someone who surrenders to the darker impulses of the city.

HEAVY BREATHING.

Ugh friggin' Bob...

I love how Lynnie, the casting director, pulls the rug out from under that scene. There's always a jaded casting person who totally wrecks any good feelings about every audition. It's a thing.

David Lynch uses nostalgia and a latent love for Hollywood to draw the characters (and us) into his world and then subverts our expectations. A lot.

Why is the screen test just a lip-synching contest? ...I think it feeds into the nostalgia element for the movie at large but it seems like a waste of studio resources here. Early-aughties Hollywood spending, amirite?

Rita's reaction to finding the body is played very much like the reaction a character would have in an older film... The horror! The fear! The silent gaping terror while possessed with the inability to scream. I was watching the original KING KONG before this (which is may be a sign from the universe that I had to watch this Naomi Watts vehicle, as she starred in the remake), and specifically remember the scene where the director Carl Denham is coaching Ann Darrow/Fay Wray on how to act in a horror film - "now look up, and you see it, you see it in all its horror. And your jaw drops and you try to scream but you're so frozen in terror that you can't!" - I imagine that's what Lynch is doing to not-Linda Fiorentino off-camera as they filmed this scene.

Uh-oh, Rita is single-white femal'ing Betty now... She doesn't have a personality of her own, so she's going to take Betty's.... And now we're just getting NUDE with each other. This erotic thriller immediately turned from skintillating to Skinemax.

"I'm in love with you" - is Betty just saying that to convince herself? It feels more lusty than real. Betty's so bright-eyed and bushy tailed. Rita is gonna chew her up and spit her out!

I like the shot when they're sleeping together and, as they rest, their faces overlap thanks to the perspective of the framing. How much of the same person are they becoming? Where does one personality start and the other end?

The weird 2am theater. How'd Rita and Betty find this place? I love how this pop-up slam-poetry reading in this opera house is as terrifying to Rita and Betty as finding the dead body.

So Betty starts convulsing in her seat and then the poet disappears in a kind of old-style, cinematic I'm disappearing effect. I dig it.

Wait... is this a mysterious, magical show that just appears in LA, like Hamunaptra, the City of the Dead, that town in THE MUMMY that only shows up at sunrise on the third day or something like that? Or is this just a poorly attended Spanish-language talent show that could only afford to book this theater at 2am on a Thursday?

I love that Betty and Rita are tearing up over Rebekah Del Rio's performance (Rebekah Del Rio is a real person, by the way). Then, Rebekah faints as her voice keeps singing - is NOTHING real? Has Betty totally given into this weird world to the point that she doesn't really know what's authentic and what's fake anymore OR was Betty fake before she got to LA so it was easy for her to get acclimated.

This movie is like THE MATRIX, from the perspective of characters who only took the blue pill and didn't look back.

OOOH, Betty has the box and Rita has the key! But the box is empty except maybe its the Gom Jabbar pain-box from DUNE. Is David Lynch using MULHOLLAND DRIVE as an excuse to make good on his promise to produce a good version of DUNE.

WAIT A SECOND, the cowboy knows the dead girl? Does this even matter?

Now, wait ANOTHER second. Is Betty performing or DREAMING when she's Diane or is something else going one??

What's the BLUE KEY doing there?

"Two Detectives"??? Is she talking about Betty and Rita OR Robert Forster and the pudgy guy? OR someone else entirely - the two guy's from Winky's???

The movie became more interesting the moment the perspective shifted to "Diane" and "Camilla." When that happened, Naomi Watts really amped up her performance... reaching a level of intensity we hadn't seen since Betty's audition... it does take 2 hours to reach that point.... But then, when Betty and Rita are topless on the couch, I couldn't tell who they were supposed to be until Rita/Camilla called her "Diane."

Wait, now Rita's acting?? OH, so Rita was an actress? And Diane wasn't? Or Betty looks exactly like Diane?

The weird shifts in focus. The sad masturbating. This is the most depressing soft-core ever made!

Did Betty get killed and have amnesia too?

They take a shortcut to Eddie's house which looks EXACTLY like where Rita/Camilla was taken at the beginning of the movie by the hitmen in the towncar before that wild accident with those teenagers made her life weirder... OR less weird. You be the judge.

IS this a flashback or the future. Eddie and Camilla are having an affair?

MY MOTHER? COCO - what's real and what isn't????

The jitterbug competition.... Diane/Naomi wanted the lead so bad, Camilla got the part but in Mulholland Drive, Naomi is the star.

Then, Camilla is kissing that other blond actress who Betty watched screen test...

MULHOLLAND DRIVE is just David Lynch telling us that LA is a place for lust and jealousy and no matter what, purity gets ruined.

WHAT, the blond waitress is BETTY? And Diane hires the blond guy, who's officially labeled as a hitman.

Diane is also from Canada...

Are Diane and Betty just different versions of the same people in nearby parallel universes? I certainly HOPE so. This is too much insanity for ONE universe to handle.

The blue key will be found where the blond guy told Diane. Okay, that makes sense. But if this were to mirror real life, the key was in her hand the WHOLE time!

OH, and hobo-Cloris Leachman comes back... AND she's holding the blue box/Gom Jabbar... WHY the hell did those two old people wander out of that paper bag??? Do they represent longstanding guilt? Seems like it. Because they've just crept into Diane's apartment.

MULHOLLAND DRIVE is almost silly to the point of pretentiousness at points - at least with the last word to be uttered on screen - "silencio." That said, it does evoke the HAMLET line: "And the rest is silence," so THAT's poetic.

Sadly, Robert Forster was barely in this movie...

Oh, and Lee Grant played Louise - the old-Hollywood connections keep coming!

I can't believe this movie was intended to be a pilot?

***

Now, some final notes:

On the swapping of characters and relationships in the last 30 minutes -- my first thought was that Betty/Diane and Rita/Camilla look similar and/or they're connected by a parallel universe, and the diner is like the central hub between worlds, and hobo-Cloris Leachman is the gatekeeper between the two worlds... I buy the "dream world" explanation that some critics espouse, that's something I considered myself as I watched. But I'm not sure I believed Betty is Diane's dream version of herself. Also, I think David Lynch has a feeling about how everything fits together, yet I don't know if he's even settled on an explanation for everything. He just trusted his subconscious and he's so confident in his latent abilities, that we trust him to show us everything we need to see and take us everywhere we need to go.

I enjoy how it's a surrealist answer to SUNSET BOULEVARD. I hope in 2050, someone makes "The 405" really tying all these movies and Los Angeles roads together.

MULHOLLAND DRIVE is weird but good. Still, I don't know if, to me, it's more weird than good. It's also funny. But is it funny because it's weird or because it's actually, genuinely funny? Are these questions David Lynch actually wants me to ask or does he make it weird on impulse to cover for the fact that the film is simply just weird and based entirely on impulse? MULHOLLAND DRIVE is almost like a parody of a film noir, made by an inter-dimensional alien life-form who studied a bunch of movies from the 40's through the 90's but doesn't have a full grasp on human behavior, and DESPITE THAT, it's more of an emotional experience than a logical one. It's somewhere in between. It's self-indulgent in a way but also very giving. It's a paradox wrapped in an oxymoron wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a coffee-stained napkin covered in cigarette ash locked in a small, blue box.

***

Summing it up: I don't think there's a world where this movie would get a perfect score from me. Because ultimately, for all it's interesting and exciting moments, it's more of a passion project for David Lynch than a piece of entertainment for the audience, no matter how entertaining it may be. To me, it's a vision board more than it is a complete film. And yet, it IS a complete EXPERIENCE. And there's nothing wrong with that.

All of that said, I know David Lynch doesn't really like to give viewers a clear cut, traditional narrative. So, I had a feeling the mystery was just that, a mystery. Or even moreso, the FEELING of a mystery. It's not about where we're going, it's about the journey to the destination. And while the general atmosphere is moody and evocative and often powerful, MULHOLLAND DRIVE plays more like a 2.5 hour piece of music than a cohesive narrative. Maybe that's the best thing about it.

In the distant future, when our way of speaking has become as archaic as the words of Shakespeare are to us, it's the feeling and emotions and images of movies like MULHOLLAND DRIVE that will still have a timeless impact on the future audiences who view them.

[starkerforlife6969]

Starker- Anger

very loosely based on Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington from Stranger things. 

TW: Please be careful! Explicit abuse, parental abuse (tony’s dad, Peter’s step dad), violence, Tony punches Peter in the face once, both peter and tony are being abused by their parents, unhealthy coping mechanisms, brief mentions of homophobic slurs, somehow a happy ending, high school au, just- be careful, my lovelies! 

Tony’s known pretty boys like Peter Parker his whole life.

They aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on, and they are printed on paper: stick thin and flimsy. Two dimensional, boring, shallow, materialistic. They’re a dime a dozen back in Phoenix, and frankly, Tony wasn’t impressed with them there, so here, in this dreary little town where school spirit and pep leaks outside of the school’s hallways and into the streets, where popularity matters deep in the suburbs the same way it does in the classroom, Tony really isn’t impressed.

Pretty boys like Peter Parker are pretty, and that’s all they’re good for. A bit of eye-candy.

The bubbly-blonde, cotton-candy cheerleader who’s been assigned to showing him around the school, does so with an enthusiasm that’s borderline revolting. “There are loads of school clubs, you should totally join, like, all of them! Peter’s on the committee, and he’s so open to new ideas, if you think of a club just run it by him! He’d be so happy to! He also hosts these, like, killer parties! And it’s always open invitation, Peter’s house is totally lush, he has this huge pool and his parents are like, never home-“

Jesus Christ, it’s all so inane. Tony reaches for his cigarettes and the girl stutters to a halt as she watches him light it up right there in the hall. Her eyes are wide with awe- rimmed with arousal and wrongness. Tony resists the urge to smirk. It’s all so easy. Cookie-cutter town like this, where the most popular guy in school is on fuckin’ committees for school clubs, he’s not surprised that dark, slicked back hair, black-rimmed eyes and a cigarette will be enough to rework the social structure.

In fact, he’s sort of banking on it.

“Y-you’re not allowed to smoke in here,” she breathes in amazement, and Tony chuckles, fumes curling around his jaw.

“Yeah, sweetheart?” He says around his cigarette, giving her a wink. “You gonna tell on me?”

She shakes her head, hair swishing with her promise, and when the tour ends- she races off, no doubt, to tell the food chain of the cafeteria what she’s witnessed.

* *

Maria cries that night, when Howard kicks Tony’s face so hard he can feel his eye bulge a little.

Tony wants to tell her not to cry. He wants to gather her into his arms and spit blood and say I told you he wouldn’t change just because we’ve moved states. He can’t change, mom. He won’t change.

He loves her for loving him. He hates her for not saving him.

He swallows down putrid blood and sleeps in his car.

When he wakes up, there’s fresh bandages tucked into his glove compartment, a packed lunch, a blanket draped over his shoulders and a post-it note that says (in handwriting that trembles) that maybe he shouldn’t come inside for breakfast. I love you, sweetheart. I’m sorry. Mom xx

* *

The rumour mill has been churning, and when he walks into school with his shiner, it just spins even faster.

People gape, a few, braver ones, flutter over, hovering, but not quite speaking.

Tony feels pretty damn good. It’s nice to feel handsome. Powerful. Nice to know that somewhere, he can exude a little control.

But to be King, there has to be a de-throning.

“You,” he drawls, slamming a locker shut and narrowly missing a freshman’s fingers. “Peter Parker, where is he?”

The freshmen swallows hard, shrinking into his neck. “Uh-uh- p-probably in the a-art rooms, T-Tony.”

Tony grins, and pats him on the cheek. The boy already knows his name. Everyone must.

Without another word, he turns and heads for the art rooms.

When he gets there, his breath catches in his throat.

Dappled in sunlight, twisting spirals of cedar hair, amber eyes and practically drenched in a golden aura, is Peter Parker.

He’s frowning at a canvas, and it makes Tony seethe.

Pretty boys like that are all the same. Oh, is his biggest fucking problem the fact he can’t decide what to paint? He certainly doesn’t have any money issues, not if the expensive shoes are anything to go by. The designer jeans, the pink sweater with the ruffled lace collar.

Tony hates him. Fucking envies him. The sight of him- so beautiful, so serene- so troubleless, he has everything. He has everything. No doubt two parents who adore him, a nice house, money, talent, beauty- a future. And everyone here adores him, fuckin’ thinks he hung the moon in the sky.

“You think you’re worth anything?” Howard sneers, jabbing Tony’s shoulders hard enough to bruise. “You ain’t worth a damn thing, sport. You’re worth shit.”

“Well,” Tony smiles, all mean and sharp at the edges, and feels a vicious sort of victory in the way Peter jumps.

Like he’s not used to be snuck up on. Like he’s not used to being scared. “Oh, you scared me,” the boy laughs, a blush on his cheeks, “you must be Tony-“

“You’re as pretty as they said you were.” Tony continues, because he doesn’t want to hear Peter’s sweet voice. Doesn’t want to hear another word out of his mouth. “Prettier, even. They don’t do you justice.” He trails his fingers across still-wet canvases drying on easels, smudging and ruining the paintings.

“Hey, I think- you’re not supposed to touch those,” Peter points out worriedly, pearly teeth nibbling at his bottom lip. “You might accidentally-“

Tony moves so quickly it must look like he’s teleported. He backhands Peter so fucking hard, it’s so fucking satisfying, and the boy topples to the ground gracelessly.

There’s no movement for a long moment, before the boy lets out a strangled gasp, wrenches himself away.

Not far enough. Goddamn, he’s so weak. How can anyone be this weak? Tony knows to cover his head, to curl up in a ball, but Peter’s splayed out and defenceless.

Tony reaches down to grab him by the designer sweater, lifting him clear off the ground as Peter winces and recoils. The mark on his cheek is darkening rapidly, an ugly scarlet. “You run this school, Parker? You their precious king?”

“What? No! I…” there are tears sparkling in his eyes, he even cries like a Disney character. “I don’t- I don’t understand, please don’t-“

Begging never stops anything. Tony drops him and punches down in one swift motion, right onto Peter’s stomach- forcing all the air out of him, along with a pitiful whimper. “You ain’t king of shit, you get that, Parker?”

He doesn’t stick around for an answer, not that Peter could give one, with the way he’s wheezing, and he strides out; fingers streaked with paint and blood.

* * Peter doesn’t come into school the next day, and all eyes are stuck on Tony.

They’re not all as admiring anymore, but they are intimidated, and that’ll do. The girls still flock to him, the younger students still flee.

It’s easy to dethrone. History makes it look hard, but it isn’t.

“Liam’s throwing a party next week,” Cindy says over lunch. Tony’s sitting at the “popular” table. It looks like all the others, but the people there are substantially more attractive. He’s sitting where Peter usually sits, that much he can gather, and the students (his subjects) whisper with nervous fear. “You should totally come.”

“Maybe,” Tony murmurs, but he will go. Anywhere that isn’t home in the evenings. Anywhere else.

*** Tony feels good on Friday.

His dad is out of town on business, and he and his mom ate take out in front of the tv and didn’t have to worry when they spilt some on the rug.

He parks his beat up car in one of the teacher’s spots, and his entourage rush to greet him and update him on the gossip and prattle on about things he doesn’t give a shit about.

That is, until one of them says-

“Peter’s back in today.”

And that, Tony has to see.

He’s not technically in AP english, but he winks at the receptionist and she buckles like everyone does.

Peter sits at the front of the class, scribbling notes furiously, and looks entirely put together in a white chiffon blouse and green slacks. The bruise along his cheekbone is horrific. Darker and splotchier- there’s a tiny little cut above his left eyebrow- Tony doesn’t remember doing that, but that happens sometimes. He hits a little harder than he means to.

Seeing it is a weird feeling. It makes disgust well up inside him, something horrible and tortured screeches to be let out, and on the other hand-

He’s a king looking down on the enemy wounded.

Peter doesn’t look up at him once during the class, even though he goes out of his way to be annoying and aggravating.

The teacher kicks him out eventually, and when the bell rings, he waits by Peter’s locker.

The boy approaches cautiously. He’s alone. All alone. High school fans, so fickle, Tony tuts.

“Parker,” he grins, watching as Peter twists open the combination lock. “Finally decided to come back.”

“I guess so,” the boy says quietly, demurely, changing out his books. He has hard copies of everything, all brand new and shiny. They don’t look like the torn up, hand-down charity shop copies Tony uses.

Tony waits, but Peter offers nothing else. He feels too sharp around the edges, he feels like he’s shattering. “Well? Aren’t you gonna tell on me or some shit? I haven’t heard a word.”

“You want me to tell someone you attacked me?” Peter clarifies curiously, looking at him with huge, honey eyes. It’s like someone bottled sunlight. Tony’s winded by the sight of them.

“I-“

“What would that achieve?” Peter asks, blatant with honesty and genuine inquisitiveness. “It wouldn’t make you stop. It might get you suspended, maybe expelled, but then what? Not like you couldn’t come and find me outside of school. Then I call the police? Try to get you arrested for assault? You’d be released in a year anyway, and then what?”

Tony snarls, banging his fist against the lockers so loudly the entire hallway falls silent. He leans in and spits into Peter’s face: “How about some fuckin’ gratitude that I didn’t leave a mark, huh, pretty boy? Where’s my thanks?”

Peter doesn’t step away. He looks up and juts out his chin in a way that’s meant to be intimidating but is more endearing than anything. “Thank you.” He whispers. His lower lip shakes. “Thank you for what you did to me.”

“Don’t fuckin- stop cryin- get up! Get up!” Howard yells, hauling Tony to his feet. He stumbles, unable to stand, and Howard shoves him against the wall. “Fuckin’ ingrate, say thank you- thank me for taking the time to fuckin’ teach you!”

“Thank you,” Tony manages around a sob, sliding to the floor and bursting into tears.

Tony staggers back hard.

He’s not-

He’s not.

*** Pretty boy Peter is a bug under his skin.

Tony can’t stop thinking about him. Can’t stop wondering where he is, how he is.

Jefferson High is a huge school, but the fields and playgrounds are bigger, and that’s where students spend their time.

Tony finds Peter every lunch time, curled up in the big chairs in the library, buried in a book.

Sometimes he’s wearing oversized cream sweaters, sometimes when it’s hot, he’s in some fancy lace get up, and Tony eyes the smooth, soft skin on display. Sometimes he’s almost asleep, looks so peaceful and cosy (Tony wants to reach out and gently, gently touch) sometimes his eyes are moving so rapidly, his lips parted in exhilaration, fingers clumsy as they hurriedly turn the page that Tony would give anything to know what he was reading.

For Peter to tell him what interested him so much.

As it is, he doesn’t approach. Just watches from the shadows for as long as he can, before slipping out undetected.

He’s particularly good at that, thank years of practising.

The swarms that once worshipped the boy never hang out with Peter anymore, but oddly enough, Peter doesn’t seem to care, or even notice.

Tony can relate to that. Losing Cindy the air-head might actually be a relief. He’s tried to shake her off, but she latches like a leech.

Instead, Peter spends his time with a dreary-eyed girl. A girl Tony knows gets called dyke by the guys in the shower-room.

Tony doesn’t join in their bantering over jokes like that.

She’s cool, though, and clearly doesn’t give a shit. She’ll be something big when she’s out of here, and Tony wants to her see her succeed. Wants to flip on his television set one day in a few years and see her face.

When he gets home that night, he has the book Peter was reading at lunch tucked under his arm (the librarian too, is a sucker for his eyes).

Howard glares at him, kicks at him when he walks past like he’s a mangy mutt, but he makes it to bed and he flips on the switch, snuggled into threadbare sheets, and he reads.

*** Amidst the thrum of music, the boozy smell of alcohol, and lipstick on the back of playing cards, Peter Parker shows up to Liam’s party.

Tony’s halfway through a keg, but he’s not feeling the effects (so what? He’s built up a bit of a tolerance) and people are chanting King Tony! when he spots wavy brown hair and pretty pink lips.

He follows without even meaning to.

Peter’s face is healed now, back to as beautiful as ever. Tony heals fast too.

“Parker,” he greets, when Peter helps himself to punch. “You showin’ your face here?”

Peter smiles. “I was invited.”

That surprises him. “Really? Who’d wanna be seen with a nobody like you?”

“Liam and I go back.”

Well damn, not as fickle as he’d thought then. Anyway, the sight of Peter is thrilling. It’s troubling. “Get the fuck out,” Tony orders, because a rather large part of him wants to- wants to kiss-

“I was just leaving.” The boy corrects, turning away.

There’s a welt on his back.

It peaks out behind the strappy, vintage style blazer. But only just. It’s been cleverly covered up, if Tony wasn’t so familiar with the sight he’d never have spotted it and-

He reaches out, calls for Peter to stop- wait-

But he’s already gone.

*

It’s an obsession.

But it keeps him from the house. He drives around town slowly, cigarette hanging out the corner of his mouth, arm hanging out the window of his car, and he coasts through fancy neighbourhoods, sees wholesome families praying before eating their dinner in their grand dining rooms.

He hates them.

He spots Peter’s pretty red Camaro parked in the driveway of an enormous house.

He parks around the block, comes back, and lingers.

It’s totally normal. The curtains are shut, but Tony can see enough. They have neat hedgerows, cultivated fox gloves, and a bird feeder out front. There are three cars parked neatly, Peter’s, a blue beetle, and a large jeep, all lovingly taken care of and gleaming in the evening light.

The kitchen curtains have charming little frogs on them, the mat out front says welcome.

He can’t have seen a welt on Peter’s back, because that doesn’t fit.

It fits Tony. With his beaten down house, lack of kitchen curtains, lack of prayers, his scratched up, junkyard piece of crap, his bruised knuckles and his split lip.

He’s wrong.

*** His mom’s been saying that Howard’s getting worse.

Tony zones her out. She says stuff like this all the time. Other times she says he’s getting better, then he’s getting worse, but she never does a fuckin’ thing about it.

When he staggers out of the house at three am, bleeding bad, throbbing all over, and he falls into his car- can hear his mother screaming, can hear Howard demanding him to get back inside, he steps on the gas and tails it.

He’s driving to the hospital, hardly able to see through the blood and the pain and the black spots dancing across his vision, when he crashes into a street lamp.

It’s not a bad crash. Another dent in many, he thinks, but he suddenly feels warm all over.

He’s cosy. He could fall asleep.

*** When he wakes up, he’s on a cloud. He’s floating on air.

He blinks and there’s a warm, gold light, and two, beautiful honey eyes.

He’s in heaven.

But that can’t be right, he’s a piece of shit.

“You got that right,” comes a chiding, slightly teasing tone, and he squints against the dimness to see Peter Parker above him, dabbing at him with white cotton buds.

Feeling seems to come back all at once. First, an ache that drags through his whole body, then the blinding sting of whatever hell fire Peter’s putting on his face, third, that Peter’s straddling hm, and it’s a really rather nice hot, weight.

“Mm, baby,” he groans, sliding his coarse hands up Peter’s bare, smooth thighs, “this is a pleasant surprise.” He bucks his hip a little, feels his clothed dick nestle between two plump cheeks. He gets a little burst of pleasure that’s such a fucking relief from the pain that he grinds upwards again.

Peter’s hand is firm on his chest, pressing him down into the bed, not cloud. “You’re hurt, Tony. One problem at a time please.”

Problems. Damn. He has a lot of those.

“Tell me about it,” Peter sighs. “I’ve parked your car at the drive-thru theatre. I left a note at the lamppost. I hope no one minds.”

Tony blinks, dazed, and watches as Peter tends to him. It reminds him of that film his mom used to watch all the time, the fuckin horrible one with the dancing and the singing and the monster.

Beauty and the Beast, his mind supplies.

Peter’s face isn’t pretty. It’s beautiful. Dimples and prominent cheekbones, lovely eyebrows and long lashes. He has freckles and a beauty mark on his jaw, perfect for kissing. His forehead is creased in concentration as he works on Tony’s face, his tongue resting on his lips.

Tony may not be in heaven, but he is looking at an angel.

“Do you really…” he whispers, reaching up a clumsy hand to stroke tenderly at Peter’s face. The boy doesn’t even flinch. “Did you really have a…a belt mark on you…”

Those eyes snap to him, a vulnerability come to light, a hidden truth revealed.

Then they darken, and look away. “You need to get your rest.”

“It doesn’t make sense,” Tony croaks, eyes burning, “you’re perfect. It’s not meant to- not meant to happen to perfect people, only- only broken ones, like-“

“Nobody’s perfect,” Peter whispers wisely, dabbing cream onto his fingers, and then onto Tony’s face.

“Who does it to you?”

“Step dad,” Peter shrugs, “he never hits her, though. I think he misses his own son.”

“I’ll kill him for hurtin’ you, I swear,” he slurs, filled with righteous ire. Who could hurt such an angel-

“That’d be hypocritical.” Peter muses, opening a pack of antiseptic wipes and swiping at Tony’s temple. He’s good at this. He must be well-practised.

Tony drowns in self-loathing. “I’m a shit.” He hisses, “I’m a shit, I’m sorry, but my dad-“

“I understand.” Peter nods, fingers stroking through Tony’s hair. “I empathise. I don’t forgive you. Not yet.”

“You might, though?” Tony urges, craning into every touch. “Maybe?”

Peter grinds down once, making Tony’s dick jolt with arousal. “Maybe.” He whispers.

*** Tony hates his anger management counsellor so fucking much.

But Howard hates him going, so Tony always shows up on time.

Peggy is patient and understanding, but no-nonsense.

When he shows up with bleeding knuckles and a jagged cut on his arm, she offers him a lemon sucker and shakes her head.

“He started it.” Tony hisses, taking a sherbet and sucking on it.

She doesn’t say anything.

“It wasn’t Peter, if that’s what you’re thinking. I would never hurt Pe- I haven’t ever hit Peter again.”

She’s silent.

He feels like a kid. He hangs his head on his chest. “I get so angry.” He whispers.

“And does violence make the anger go away?”

He nods, looking at her through tears. He cries so much nowadays. Peggy says it’s a good thing. “It turns it into power.”

Peggy looks at him, urging him to get there on his own.

“It’s not power,” he mumbles, lemon on his tongue, “I feel helpless.”

“We all do sometimes, Tony,” she smiles, and offers him another lemon drop. “I want to talk about your mom today. About the things you think she likes best about you.”

Tony wants to run and hide, but instead he sits and listens.

* Sometimes, when Peter reaches over to hold Tony’s hand, Tony yanks it away, his whole mood sours, and he storms out.

He always comes back though. Shame-faced, small, and he reaches out for a hug and Peter gives it to him.

He yells sometimes too. When he’s trying really hard not to, it slips out. Horrible things, things he doesn’t mean, things he wishes he could take back but he fears are going to hang there in the air forever.

He always cries afterwards, and calls Peggy.

Peter yells too, from time to time, when he’s fracturing a little, when Kurt presses where it hurts.

Tony holds Peter tight when that happens, kisses his hair all soft and gentle in the ways he never thought he could be, and promises that they’ll both do better. They’ll both be better.

Peter sees Stephen Strange, a counsellor on the other side of town.

Peggy thinks it’s a good idea for Peter and Tony to heal independently of each other, just in case they become a support system for one being, rather than two people.

Strange says you shouldn’t feel guilty for lashing out. Peggy says you should apologise if you’re sorry.

Peter kisses the hollow of Tony’s throat and says: “I want to tell you all the things I love about you.”

By the end of the forty-minute list, Tony has to cut Peter off, because he can’t hear him over his own sobs.

After a month of no violence, Tony’s greeted to Peter covered in flour and icing, holding a poorly shaped cake that says one month of peace is groovy baby.

They eat it in an old tent, camped out on the edge of town. The cake is disgusting, and Tony’s new favourite. 

They have sex in the grass and Tony kisses Peter’s new welt, and says that he deserves so much more than this.

That, if he likes, Tony will try to give it to him.

**

They have a modest house in a modest town. They have curtains with kangaroos on them, and no dining table- just a coffee table with bean bags in front of the television.

They have one nice car that they share.

They have friends.

They meet each other in the drive way, both on their way home from work, and Peter blushes when Tony holds out the bouquet of tulips. “Pretty boy,” Tony grins, as Peter buries his face in the petals. “I heard from a little birdie that it was your wedding anniversary.”

“Mm,” Peter giggles, “that’s weird. Me and my husband promised each other no presents.”

“Ah,” Tony sighs, drawing Peter into his arms, kissing him silly for the whole neighbourhood to see (not that they haven’t seen it before. It’s stupid and reckless but it’s a good town). “So, if we go inside, there’ll be no freshly baked cake on the counter, right? You didn’t sneak home on your lunch break to bake me something?”

Peter sighs. “Who told?”

“Becky. She can’t keep a secret, Pete.”

Peter laughs, and they thread their fingers together and head inside.

It’s not a perfect ending, but it’s happy. They fight, sometimes. They tremble. They remember things they wish they could forget. They break down on the side of the road. They spend nights in motels.

But those are fewer and farther between. And in the end, they always come home- to each other.

The cake is terrible. It always is. But Tony eats every single bite.

It’s the same recipe as the one Peter made all those years ago, after one month of no fights.

It’s stale and it brings back so many memories.

“Is it good?” Peter asks worriedly, putting the tulips in water.

Tony takes a huge bite, and shakes his head in wonder. “Yeah, baby,” he whispers, “even after all this time, it’s still really, really good.”

He thinks it always will be. 

[amandajoyce118]

Agents Of SHIELD S7E01 “The New Deal” Easter Eggs And References

In the season seven premiere, most of the team ends up in 1931 New York thanks to some time travel shenanigans. We love shenanigans, right? The is the last season premiere ever, and it’s bittersweet, but I’m diving right in.

As always, if you don’t remember this from the last few seasons of me writing up Easter eggs (posts are tagged aos easter eggs if you want to read old ones), this list assumes you have seen the episode. There will be spoilers.

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Again, spoilers. Turn back now if you don’t want them. Okay? Good.

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The Episode Title.

It’s a reference to FDR’s political work. I mean, Coulson even references it and says the episode title in the show. I kind of love when show’s do that? This show didn’t used to, but they did it a lot more the last two seasons, so maybe it’s a thing now.

The Title Card.

I feel like it’s unfair to call this an Easter egg, but if they didn’t put a 1931 timestamp on the top of the episode, the title card could have told you what era the team was in. Whoever was in charge of designing it did a great job making it look like a classic film title card.

Faceless People.

Okay, so the chronocoms erase the faces of the people they wish to resemble. This isn’t really a thing in the comics, but there is a character called “Faceless One.” He happens to be an alien who wants to conquer Earth as well, but is basically a big yellow ball with legs, so I doubt there’s any connection other than the cool effect.

Coulson’s Data Flood.

Okay, we get that literally everything Coulson says when he’s not talking to Daisy, Mack, and Jemma are quotes from previous seasons, right? Good. He even downloads the information on Ghost Rider, his own death, last season, etc.

Deke Has A Workstation.

Okay, not an Easter egg, but I think we need to take a moment and appreciate that Jemma built Deke a workstation and Fitz left him the tool we saw way back in season five. Why? Because Deke never feels like he belongs and he wants so badly to be close to his family, and now, we see that they thought of him while upgrading their ship. He has a place. And it’s right next to Jemma.

Elena Is Quarantined.

That’s because she was infected by the shrike in season six, not because the writers are psychic and knew there would be a massive epidemic going on when the show premiered. (Sorry, typed that before I realized Jemma was going to actually say it in show, so it’s staying in.)

Gemini And Koenig.

Gemini is actually a pretty popular name/codename in Marvel Comics, so it being used as, supposedly, the code name for the person in charge of the speakeasy made me laugh. It’s much more likely here that the bartender didn’t react wrong to the use of the word, that it’s used to weed out pretenders, hence the double barrel shotgun he affectionately calls the twins. I also like that it’s a tease for a Koenig appearing since we initially thought the Koenig siblings were twins and it turns out there are too many for us to count at this point (not really, I’m exaggerating, but great that grandpa or great-grandpa Koenig looks exactly like the modern day Koenigs. I mean, come on, they’re clones or something, right?).

“It’s not exactly your first time being separated by space and time.”

Okay, look, if you have to keep inserting meta humor into a show about how often you separate your main couple, maybe you should stop separating your main couple. (Yes, I know, Iain de Caestecker had another job he was working on in seasons six and seven, but seriously, it’s not funny. Your audience is tired of it.) I mean, to be frank, Fitz is one of my favorite characters in the show, but I didn’t really miss him in this episode? That might sound bad, but I don’t think they needed to comment on him being gone so much considering Jemma told them at the end of season six she didn’t  - and couldn’t - know where he was.

Wilfred “Freddie” Malick.

Daisy explains who he is, but look, it’s the father of Gideon Malick, the same Gideon who became the leader of Hydra after a broken SHIELD (and the Avengers) decided to squash all of its heads, the same guy who got Ward interested in visiting an alien planet where he ended up as Hive. He’s, like, ancient school Hydra, not just old school Hydra. What doesn’t make sense here is that they’re saying the SSR forms in response to Hydra. Technically, the SSR forms, and then they learn about Hydra, unless I’m misremembering, which is totally possible.

The Substance.

So, I gotta wonder… what’s in the test tubes? The earliest we go in the MCU is Captain America, which is still a whole decade after the events of this episode. Prior to that, Hydra experimentation did create the Red Skull, but… still not sure what’s in the tubes. I don’t really have a frame of reference from the comics to speculate either since Hydra was into literally anything and everything. 

New York.

Okay, so I’m curious if anyone knows where they filmed their 1931 New York scenes. I have questions. Because they use the same couple of blocks for all their outside scenes, which makes me think it’s a studio backlot (which would definitely help keep the script quiet) and they’re going to use a different part of the lot next week. A friend asked me if I thought it was the same as the one used for Captain America when he’s in Brooklyn in his first movie. Cap’s first movie’s Brooklyn scenes were filmed on a Universal Studios lot where they had New York building facades and street signs. If you’ve been to the theme park, you basically know what it looks like without the 30s/40s dressing. I think it’s the same lot, and I say this because I actually kept thinking that they used the set pieces Disney used for The Newsies movie in 1992 while watching the episode. Do you know where that was filmed? On the Universal Studios backlot’s New York street set up right after it was renovated in 1991. Huh.

So, Mark Kolpack basically answered this on twitter when discussing VFX. They filmed their New York street scenes on the Warner Bros. backlot, not the Universal one, so I guess the people in charge of designing the set pieces did a great job because they look pretty much the same.

This Picture.

This boxing poster was shared by Jed Whedon on instagram. Honestly, I didn’t spot it in the episode, but that could just be because I have a small television screen and I can’t read the signs unless I pause on a computer and zoom. I have bad eyes, guys. Sorry. Usually signage is something I spot on a second or third watch, but according to Whedon, this is set dressing in the episode somewhere. Probably on the street the characters walk down multiple times. 

Let’s break down the names. Kitson is George Kitson, a story editor, writer, and production assistant on the show. He wrote this episode, and, actually, next week’s episode. The planet Kitson was also named for him. Titley is Craig Titley. He’s a producer and writer for the show, probably best known for writing “4,722 Hours” at this point. Brown is such a common name, but I’m going to guess it’s for Garry Brown who has directed a handful of episodes and is also a producer on the show. Bell is, I’m thinking, Jeffrey Bell, one of the producers and writers on the show. Tancharoen is for Maurissa Tancharoen, one of the showrunners, or you know, maybe her brother, who has directed several episodes (including this one!), or her father, who is in charge of transportation to sets. Gierhart is, I’m assuming, Billy Gierhart, who has directed a lot of episodes of the show, though I don’t think he’s directed any since 2017. (If you look at the matchups, it ends up being writer vs writer, producer vs producer, director vs director when you assume the Tancharoen is Kevin.) It says there are four main events though, and only three are listed?

Not sure if the October 15 date is intentional, but if it is, that’s the day “Eye Spy” aired in season one? Steve Roger’s mother dies on October 15, but in 1936. Not sure if that’s even canon since it’s in a promotional comic, not in anything on screen.

I’m sure there are more, and if you guys spot them and tell me, I’ll add them in. If I notice any on a rewatch, I’ll add them in as well. Who’s looking forward to the time traveling this season?

[bellaireland1981]

Lights, Camera, Coffee in LA: Chris and Lena go to Disneyland!

Summary: Chris and Lena finally make it to Disneyland!

Warnings: NONE- all fluff! 

Character pairings: Chris x OFC Elena “Lena”

Thanks to @denisemarieangelina​ for reading and helping me brainstorm!!!! 

Chris and Lena hit Disneyland!

(Takes place a month after Lights, Camera, Coffee in LA)

C: (8:03AM) Hey, Baby! Be ready in an hour, I’ve a surprise planned for you today! Wear comfy shoes!

L: (8:05AM) Do I get any information as to where you’re kidnapping me to?

C: (8:06AM) Wouldn’t it technically be called girlfriendnapping? But no, it’s a.. SURPRISE!

L: (8:07AM) Wow.... you’re big dork! Can you at least tell me if we’ll be inside or out? I need to know what to WEAR Christopher!

C: (8:09AM) I’m YOUR dork though….and both, but I guess more outside than in.

L: (8:10AM) You’re SO helpful lol.

C: (8:12:) Tick Tock, Baby!

L: (8:15AM) OK! OK! Getting in the shower now. :-P

Forty-Five minutes later, I was showered and dressed in a pair of distressed cut off styled denim shorts with a pastel mint colored soft knit fitted T-shirt and matching Converse low-top sneakers. I’d decided to pull my hair back into a loose fishtail styled french braid, just to keep it off my neck since Chris said we’d be outside a lot. A few tendrils of hair had already fallen out of the braid to frame my face.  I’d just finished applying a minimal amount of make-up when I heard the doorbell ring.

I grabbed my small crossbody purse and RayBan sunglasses. My brother had already let Chris in and the two were standing in the foyer chatting.

Chris was in a pair of black athletic shorts,a gray Under Armour t-shirt and gray Nike sneakers. At least I knew whatever we were going to be doing would be casual. One thing I’d already known about Chris was that he literally looked good in everything, my favorite was casual Chris.

“Hey, Beautiful” Chris beamed at me when I walked into the foyer, “You look great! Ready to go?”

“Thanks, Babe” I laughed, “You’re looking pretty damn hot yourself! And yes, I’m ready!”

“You two are nauseatingly sweet” Michael groaned jokingly, “Whatever you’re off to do, have fun!”

“Watch it, Mister” I scolded, “You and Lia were a thousand times worse when you first started dating!”

“She’s not wrong” Lia laughing coming into the foyer, “Have fun! We won’t wait up!”

“I guess this means I really do get to girlfriendnap you!” Chris winks at me.

“I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to announce your intentions to kidnap someone in front of their family.” I laughed, “Just saying!”

“But he’s not kidnapping you, Lena…” Lia started, “He’s…”

“Don’t say it!” I cut her off laughing and pushing Chris towards the door, “Don’t encourage him!”

Chris was laughing as we left the house and headed to where his car was parked in the circle driveway. Always the gentlemen, he walked around with me and opened the door for me.

“You know this is killing me, right?” I asked when he was settled in the driver’s seat.

“I promise you’re going to love this!” He replied, winking at me.

“I’m with you for the entire day, of course I’m going to love whatever we’re doing!” I smiled reaching over to rest my hand on his leg.

“Days I get to just be with you, are my best days Lena.” Chris replied, lacing his finger with mine still resting on his leg.

“We really are nauseatingly sweet!” I laughed, “But I like it.”

We spent the next hour laughing, singing along to the radio, and talking. Once again, Chris had done a great job at keeping me distracted so I wasn’t paying attention to where we were. It wasn’t until he exited the I-5 that I realized we were actually in Anaheim.

“OHMYGOD!” I squealed, excitedly, “DISNEY??”

“I wanted to do this with you weeks ago, but haven’t been able to make it happen.” He smiled happily at me, “Like your surprise?”

“YES!” I yelled, bouncing in the passenger seat like an excited little kid. “I can’t wait! We’re riding EVERY single ride, I’m going to binge eat all the yummy Disney food until I burst, and I want a picture with EVERY Disney character!”

“Challenge accepted,” Chris laughed. He pulled up to a guarded gate at what appeared to be a back entrance and rolled his window down.

“Good Morning, I was told to come in this way and a Cast Member would be here to escort us today” Chris told the guard.

“Of course Mr. Evans, pull on in through the gate and park. Your assigned Cast Member is ready to start your VIP tour!” the guard said.

Chris pulled the car ahead as soon as the gate opened and parked in the designated VIP area.

“Well, this is a new way to experience Disney!” I said, taking off my seatbelt. “Fancy, Mr. Evans!”

“I wanted to make sure this day was perfect, and that’s easier to do when we have an escort.” Chris explained, “Lena, I’ve got to warn you, even with the escort, we’re going to get attention today… doesn’t matter how careful I am, pictures always get leaked when I make Disney trips. Are you sure you’re ok with this?”

“It’ll be fine, Chris,” I reassured him, “I promise, I know pictures of us are going to make their way into the media, people will talk, but I refuse to let that stop us from having fun and living life. We’re going to have the best day EVER!”

“I don’t know what I did to get lucky enough to find you, Baby, you’re literally perfect.” Chris said leaning over and dropping a soft kiss on my lips. A month into this relationship and I still got butterflies and turned to a pile of goo when he kissed me.

“I’m definitely far from perfect, but I think I’m the lucky one in this!” I replied.

Right as we got out of the car a Disney Cast Member was there to greet us and give us the rundown on how the day would work. Basically, they’d be our escort through the park, getting us to the rides, and avoiding crowds whenever possible.

We spent the entire morning riding all the rides we could get through, and for the most part were successful in avoiding crowds. Occasionally, we would catch people looking our way curiously, as if trying to figure out if it was really Chris they were seeing. Nobody approached though, which was a huge relief to Chris.

By afternoon, we’d hit most of the big rides and were content to wander  through the park, trying to catch all the characters and snacking on Disney food.

“We can’t leave until I meet Belle!” I declared, as we strolled, holding hands, through Fantasyland. “And I want to ride Space Mountain a thousand more times.”  

There was something about the magic of Disney, once you step through the gates into the park, your inner child automatically comes out to play!

“I don’t know about a thousand, but I am sure we ride it a few more times before the park closes.” Chris laughed, “And I wouldn’t dream of making you leave before you meet Belle.”  

“Thank you for today, Chris,” I said, smiling up at him, “This has been perfect!”

“You’re definitely welcome, Sweetheart,” he said leaning down to drop a kiss onto my head, “I’m loving being here with you.”

“I think we need a Mickey Ice Cream bar,” I said, eying a cast member selling them from a cart a few feet from us.

“I never turn down the Mickey bar.” Chris replied, pulling me towards the cart. The line was short, so we had our ice cream bars in no time.

We found an empty bench and sat down to eat our treats. I was just about to suggest we make our way to Pixar Pier next when a movement caught my eye not far from where we were sitting. Looking over, I saw a person with a long range lens snapping pics in our direction, trying to be stealth-like. I didn’t want to ruin our day, but decided it would be best to let Chris know.

“Hey, Chris” I said quietly, “Don’t look over there, but I think our luck has run out. We’re being camera sniped.”

“Shit, I thought we were going to actually make it a whole day!” Chris said, an annoyed look coming across his face. “Do you want to head out?”

“Fuck that!” I said indignantly, “I haven’t met Belle yet!”

My outburst earned me a trademark belly laugh and hand on chest move from Chris. I was pretty proud of how often I could pull those from him.

“Well, alright then” He said, calming down, “Lead the way then! We won’t let the camera sniper ruin our day. Although, you might not want to drop any F-bombs when we find Belle.”

“Fair enough, I suppose…”I agreed, “But I’m not convinced that the Disney Princesses don’t secretly have very colorful language.”

Our VIP escort waved us over a few feet to where he was standing, doing his best to blend into the scenery.

“I’m very sorry, Mr. Evans,” He said, “I didn’t realize paparazzi had made it into the park. I can escort you to a private area if you want to avoid them.”

“It’s fine,” Chris replied, “No need to apologize. We’re good to just keep exploring the park. My girlfriend is determined to see Belle today.”

“We can definitely make that happen! Please let me know if at any time you’d like us to intervene.” he said.

“Thank you so much,” I told him, then looked at Chris, “Your turn to pick where we go!”

“Hmm,” he thought, “How about we head over to Pixar Pier and explore?”

“Perfect!” I beamed at him. I was happy he wasn’t letting the paparazzi get to him, and was willing to continue the day.

Chris leaned down and captured my lips with his own. We didn’t normally engage in huge public displays of affection, but I would say no to kissing this man. His hands framed my face, holding me in place as his lips held mine captive, continuing to kiss me lovingly. After a few seconds he pulled away just enough to rest his forehead against mine and sigh contentedly.

“That’s definitely ending up online,” He said quietly, “But I couldn’t help myself.”

“I’m not complaining” I said looking up into his eyes, “Kissing you is one of my favorite things to do!”

“In that case, I’ll have to steal more kisses from you more often!” he winked, pulling back and grabbing my hand as we started off towards Pixar Pier.

“Can’t steal them if they’re given freely, Babe!” I laughed.

“It’s more fun to steal them” Chris pouted cutely.

Deciding to test his theory, I quickly pulled on him to stop walking long enough to reach up on my tip toes and sneak a quick kiss from him.

“See?” He laughed, “More fun!”

“Ok, I’ll give you this one” I agreed, catching sight of the photographer again, but this time there was a second one as well. .“Also, our friend is still following, and he seems to have a friend.”

Chris turned around, facing the photographers, and waved to them. I was momentarily shocked. Normally, he did everything he could to avoid them, and would get anxious if they invaded our time together, or time he was with his family. For him to openly engage with them was shocking.

“Umm, new tactic?” I asked confused

“Yup!” He said, “Not going to let them ruin our perfect day. I’m planning on ignoring them the rest of the day!”

“I like that plan.” I agreed, “We can forget they’re here!”

And we did. We spent the rest of the day exploring the park and enjoying our time together. I finally caught Belle and was able to get a picture with her and the Beast. On our way back towards the Castle for the nightly fireworks, I spotted a cute little boy decked out in a Captain America costume, shyly eyeing Chris.

“Chris,” I said quietly, squeezing his hand to stop, “I think someone would like to meet his favorite Avenger.”

He looked over to where the boy was standing, now beaming ear to ear.

Chris walked over to the boy, whose eyes grew huge in excitement.

“Hey, Buddy!” Chris said to the boy, “I love your Cap costume!”

The boy’s mom, realizing what was happening, pulled out her phone and asked Chris if she could take their picture. “I’d be honored to take a picture with Captain America!” He replied, kneeling down to the boy’s height so his mom could snap the picture.

“You’re Captain, silly!” the boy replied, “I’m just dressed like you!”

“If you’re wearing the outfit, that makes you Captain!” Chris informed him.

“Really?” He asked in wonder.

“Really!” Chris confirmed. “It was really nice to meet you, Buddy! Enjoy the rest of your Disney trip!”

“Thank you, so much!” The boy’s mom said, “You’ve just made his whole year!”

“It’s no problem at all,” Chris replied, “Enjoy your vacation!”

Chris came back over to me, grabbing my hand again.

“I think that’s what I’m going to miss the most about not playing Cap anymore” he said softly. “I love meeting the kids.”

“You were so amazing with him” I said, heart melting at how sweet Chris was with kids, “He will be so excited about that meeting for a long time to come.”

“I love kids.” He said, “I love all my fans, but the kids are my favorite.”

“Probably because you are a big kid” I teased, “They recognize one of their own!”

“You’re probably not wrong,” He agreed.

Our Cast Member escort found us a quiet and secluded spot to watch the fireworks from. As we were waiting for them to start, Chris pulled out his phone and asked the Cast Member if he minded snapping a picture for us. He happily agreed, taking Chris’ phone. Chris pulled me up against him, wrapping his arms around my waist. I wrapped mine around his neck. He smiled down at me, before lowering his head and placing a quick kiss on my lips.

“Today was perfect,” He said, “The last month has been perfect. I never would have guessed that getting on a plane would change my life, but it brought me you and in just a month you have changed my life… for the better. I love you, Lena.”

I had to take a deep breath and choke the tears back down in order to respond to him.

“I love you too, Chris” I replied, my voice thick with emotion, “I’m not sure how I got so lucky, but I’m not going to question it. Today, and every day we’ve spent together has been perfect because, any day I get to be with you is perfect.”

He kissed me again as the fireworks filled the sky. It was a perfect ending to a perfect day.

[the-good-noodle-kf]

The Happiest Place on Earth (is When We’re Together) Part 2/2

This is technically a late entry for day three of saiou week but since it is legitimately more than four months late, I’m not going to describe it as such. But! It’s a part two of its previous part one-

(In which Shuichi loves everything about Kokichi, from his unbreachable veil of lies, to his annoying, yet somehow unexplainably endearing personality, and everything in between (but he can’t admit it because he thinks Kokichi might be lying about his own feelings towards Shuichi.)

Also, they go to Disney World together! :} :}

Rated T: for crude language and sexual innuendos.)

It’s not the alarm that wakes Shuichi up in the morning…

He’s woken up by a loud, startling, “HAAAAAI-YAAHH!” accompanied by a loud thump, followed by the sensation of pain where his body meets the floor, and then more pain everywhere else as something falls on top of him. 

“Uggghh,” a pained moan resonates from above him as a hand pushes him closer to the floor. 

Kokichi pushes himself up, still disoriented, and realizes he’s been attacked in his sleep. 

He looks up and faces his assailant. “So you think it’s a good idea to disrupt an evil supreme leader’s sleep, huh?” He asks as he gets to his feet, only just realizing Shuichi must’ve been the one to break his fall, since he’s underneath him, and the pain in his own body is concentrated at his stomach where he was kicked instead of anywhere else. “What’s your goal?”

“I should ask you the same thing!” She points at him accusingly. “What were you planning sneaking in our room during the night! Such suspicious behavior is fitting for a degenerate male.”

Shuichi sits up, rubbing his head with a groan. His surroundings tell him that he was pushed off of the bed, blanket and all. 

“Nyeh? What time is it?” Himiko raises her head from her pillow, her hair thoroughly tangled from sleep.

Shuichi glances at the digital clock on the night table. “It’s… seven o’clock.”

“Too early,” she mutters before collapsing back on the bed. 

Shuichi rubs his eyes and stands to his feet. “We should get ready.”

“First, explain what you were doing in here!” Tenko commands.

“Weeelll, the manager of this resort came by to tell us we had to sleep in this room or they’d kick us all out!” He prattles falsehoods.

Shuichi amends the statement with the truth. “We traded beds with Maki and Kaito.”

Himiko perks up again, “huh? Why would you do that.”

“Miu was trying to fuck Keebo with us in the room!” He exclaims.

“Kokichi, stop lying.” Himiko seems oddly annoyed. It must be because she’s tired.

“Actually, that’s not a lie,” Shuichi assures them.

“What!? Tenko will set them straight!” She proclaims as she swings open the door to the other room and starts scolding them. Shuichi, from his position on the floor, can see Maki packing some knives away into her backpack. He really hopes she doesn’t plan on taking them into the park.

Kokichi shuts the door behind her and the upcoming mayhem, grinning wildly. “Whatcha guys waiting for? We’re going to Disney!”

“Ah...” the detective yawns. 

“I wanna go back to sleep…” For her next trick, the magician disappears under the covers.

--

“Hey, that wasn’t too bad. We might not be the first ones on this bus, but we still got seats!” Kaito hits them with some positivity.

Maki’s shockingly awake, and Shuichi never expected she’d be a morning person. 

“How the hell do people wake up this early?” Miu asks rhetorically before chugging down a thermos of hot coffee.

Keebo smiles beside her and hands out breakfast snacks that he packed for all of them. 

Shuichi takes a granola bar. “Thank you.”

“This doesn’t make up for you’re unforgivable behavior, vermin!” Tenko makes sure he knows that much before grabbing an apple from his hand and furiously wiping it with her shirt before biting it. 

Himiko’s sleeping on Tenko’s shoulder, and none of them are convinced she woke up at all to get ready; Tenko carried her to the bus stop, and she hasn’t spoken once. 

“Nee-heehee!” Shuichi isn’t sure why Kokichi’s drinking Panta this early, but he is. “Shuichi! Did you download that app I told you about?”

The detective cocks his head to the side, before he remembers. “Ah, yea.”

“Open it up! C’mon.”

So he does; it’s kind of like charades with talking, and there’s a Disney themed category. Kokichi mentioned how it would be a good way to pass time before they visited. He chooses a total of four teams, since there are eight of them, and passes the phone to Kokichi. 

“I’m gonna win!”

“Huh?” Kaito looks over.

“We’re all gonna play. Tenko, wake Himiko up or I’ll have Shuichi poison that apple like an evil old lady!”

“I won’t let him!” Tenko fights back.

“I-I wouldn’t do that!” Shuichi waves his hands in front of his face frantically, looking more than a little worried. The outburst, however, does the trick. Himiko slowly blinks her eyes and yawns. 

“What is it?”

“We’re gonna play a game, m-kay?” Kokichi grins, showing off his teeth.

“Nyeh, okay.”

“What’re you guys playing?” Miu asks, raising an eyebrow and tucking her thermos away. 

“You too! We put it on our forehead and our teammate describes it without saying what it is. If they guess it, tilt the phone down, and tilt up to skip.”

“I don’t trust that you won’t cheat.”

Kokichi sticks out his tongue. “Ugh, fine then, you can go first Harumaki.”

“Don’t call me that.” She glares threateningly as he passes her the phone.

She lifts the phone to her head and the game begins. “Kaito, describe them.”

“Uhhh..” he squints. “Skip that one.”

Keebo opens his mouth to speak, but then he realizes it’s not his turn and keeps quiet. 

“Oh! It’s the toy!”

“Hah, I bet you wish it was a sex toy,” Miu remarks.

“Fuck no!” Kaito yells back, before trying to explain. “He’s the space one! To infinity, and beyond!” Kaito puts a fist in the air. 

“Buzz Lightyear.”

“Yeah! Oh, that guy’s real strong. He can probably do almost as many push-ups as me.”

“Strong…” Maki furrows her brows. “Hercules.”

“You got it Harumaki. Okay, now this one’s a princess. The one with the yellow dress.”

“Belle.”

“Uhh, this one. Skip it. Okay, another princess. She also wears yellow, I guess…” He scratches his goatee. “Red ribbon, I think, and short hair.”

“Snow White.”

“He’s a duck-”

“Hey! Duck is in the name, degenerate!”

“Oh, fuck, right. Skip.”

“He’s a doll, and he can’t lie. Well, he can lie, um.”

“What..?”

“His nose. It gets longer if he lies. Yeah, that’s it. It’s his nose.”

“Heh.” Miu smirks.

The ex-assassin stares. “I’m skipping.”

“Maki! Oh you know this one-” he begins when there’s a beep.

“Awwww, looks like you’re out of time!” Kokichi grabs the phone and looks at the list of characters. “You guys only got four! Hey Shuichi, put this on your head. We got this.”

 “Right!” Shuichi nods, taking the phone and getting ready.

“Mmm, Shumai, you gotta tilt the phone forward a little.”

“Hah-haha! Pooichi can’t even do it right!”

“One, two, three, go! He’s the monkey in Lion King!” 

Shuichi thinks for a moment. “Um… Raf-Rafiki?”

“Yup! Girl Mickey rat!”

“Wh- Minnie Mouse?”

Kokichi nods, “Nee-heehee! It’s Miu!”

“Nnnnnnnn,” Miu squirms in her seat.

“Miu? Kokichi, what?”

“Y’know, Miu. In that famous spaghetti scene from that movie with the dogs.”

Shuichi hesitates, “...Tramp?”

“Right-o! Didn’t know you had it in you Shuichi! Skip!”

“O-okay,” Shuichi stutters. 

“Hmmm, Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na!” he sings.

“Kokichi…”

“C’mon Shuichi! You can do it. If she doesn’t scare you, then nobody will!” he continues impishly.

“Cruella De Vil...”

“Good job Shumai! Oh! Oh! They’re emo like Shuichi!” 

“Kokichi… I already told you I’m not like Eeyore…”

“Nee-heehee, you still got it. His mom was shot!”

“...is this really in a Disney Movie?”

“Yup! Would I lie to you, Shuichi?”

“Yes.”

“He’s a deer!”

“Right, I think I’m gonna skip.”

“Shuiichiii,” Kokichi whines, “you could’ve gotten that one. But skip this one. Hmm, oh, evil lion!”

“Scar!” The detective declares.

“Okay! Last one! Glass shoe!”

“Cinderella.”

“Yeah! Times up! We got seven! I bet no one else can beat that.” He taunts.

“Oh yeah?” Miu challenges, taking the phone and putting it on her head. 

 The countdown begins. Keebo frowns. “Um, I don’t know that one. Skip. That one either… Who is Scrooge McDuck?”

“You’re not supposed to say it!” Kaito exclaims.

“But who is it?” Himiko asks. All of them, except for a very focused Miu and Keebo, shrug.

“She’s a small fairy!” 

“Scrooge McDuck is a small fairy?” 

“No, Keebo is describing the character on Miu’s head.”

“Tinker Bell!” Miu slams her free hand down on her lap. “Hah! I’m a fuckin’ genius!”

“Correct! He is a dog.”

“I’m gonna need more than that babe.”

“My apologies! He is friends with a cat, if I remember correctly.”

“C’monn Keebo, hurry up.” Miu urges.

“He has a birthmark shaped like lightning!”

“Harry Potter?”

“Harry Potter is not a dog, nor is he Disney!”

Wh-what? I got it wrong?” Miu seems shocked as she meekly looks away.

Keebo keeps playing, already accustomed to Miu’s random bouts of timidness. “Skip! She is the significant other of Simba. She… when we watched the movie you said she has bedroom eyes...”

“Hah-hahah! Nala. All you had to say for that one was bedroom eyes. That was all I needed.”

“He was raised by animals!”

“Oooh! Gonta! Hah! I totally nailed it!” 

“Gonta is not a Disney character.” Keebo asserts.

“He’s not?!” Kokichi gasps like he’s been lied to his whole life.

“He swings on vines!” Keebo stands to his feet and pounds his fists against his chest. “Aaaaaaa-auaa-aaaaaaah!”

Kokichi boos, “Kee-boooooo! Your time ran out.”

“Wait, Gonta isn’t Tarzan?” Himiko tilts her head skeptically.

Miu takes the phone down and looks over the results, the others peering over.

Kokichi laughs, “You idiots! You only got two!”

“Shut up cuck!”

“Ahahahaaha!”

 “It’s our turn!” Tenko declares. She hands the phone to Himiko and eagerly waits until the mage holds it against her forehead. The round begins. 

“In the morning, Himiko is usually…”

“Sleepy,” she answers correctly.

“Skip! A degenerate male that steals bread!”

“Aladdin!”

“She’s an innocent princess that’s defiled in her sleep!”

“Aurora.”

“Another degenerate, this one tries to trick a girl into leaving her parents forever!”

“Nyeh… Peter Pan.”

“Aha! His name describes him perfectly!”

“Beast.”

“She has long, golden hair!”

“Rapunzel.”

“Skip this one! And this one! She saves China!”

“Mulan.”

“The least menacing of all males!”

“The… hunchback, maybe.”

“His full name!”

“Quasimodo!”

“She’s a beautiful native princess that’s manipulated into betraying her people.”

“Pocahontas.”

“She’s a sea witch that tricks a naive mermaid!”

“Ursula.”

“A degenerate talking dog!”

“...Bolt?” 

“No, another one!”

“Nyeh?” Himiko tilts her head.

“He’s friends with vermin!”

“It’s goofy!”

“Yes! Skip, ahhh, Himiko, we’re out of time.”

“Nyeh, we couldn’t have lost with my spell casting helping us.” They all glance at the screen, showing eleven correct.

“How did you do that?!” Keebo is astounded. He can’t seem to wrap his head around the fact that he and Miu were only able to answer two correctly.

Himiko’s smile brightens. “With my magic…” 

 --

 After making their way through the security check...

  (Kaito was plucked out of the group to pass through the body scan machine, and complained, “Oh come on! I’m the suspicious one?!”

“Of course!” Tenko remarked.

Shuichi took note that Maki was able to successfully smuggle in her weapons. It was a little disconcerting, but the thought of a possible forthcoming lifetime ban from Disney World was a little more disconcerting.)

(Kokichi also begged the seven of them to rent a stroller to push him around in, but sadly, they did not.)

 ...They make their way through the crowd toward Tomorrowland. 

 Shuichi had set up fast passes for them in advance, so they would get to do more things with less waiting. Their first one was for Space Mountain, at Kaito’s request. Himiko and Tenko had mentioned that they are not a fan of big roller coasters, so they opted for a fast pass for Peter Pan’s Flight. It isn’t until later though, so they go on line for the race-track ride as the remaining six of them hurry towards the roller coaster. 

Kaito’s expressions display his complete captivation with the theme of the ride, and Shuichi can just tell from that, that this is definitely Kaito’s favorite ride. Keebo is appreciating the decoration too. Kokichi is bouncing with excess energy at just riding rides in general, and all the positivity must be rubbing off on Maki; she’s smiling slightly. Miu’s pretty pumped up and isn’t making any profane jokes for the moment. Shuichi is smiling, but at them all; he’s glad to be there with them all. 

The Neo-Aikido Master and the self-proclaimed mage meet up with them soon after to go on another ride in Tomorrowland; Maki’s score on the Buzz Lightyear laser shooting ride surpasses the rest of theirs by far, but Kokichi still manages to get in second place, winning against Tenko by a few points. 

“Our next fast pass is for Pirates of the Carribean.” Shuichi reads off of his phone. 

“Nyeh? Where is that?” Himiko asks, peering over his shoulder.

“Nee-heehee! I say we go this way until we find it!” Kokichi spins around and stops, pointing his finger in a random direction.

“Kokichi! You’re just going to get us lost again. We should stick to the map!”

“Boooring, Keeboy. Are robots only capable of coming up with predictable ideas?”

“I am not a robot!”

Shuichi looks at the map in Keebo’s hands. “It… says it’s this way.” Shuichi points.

“Good job Shumai! Your navigational skills are almost as good as Rantaro’s!” Kokichi praises gleefully.

“Kokichi! You’re doing the same thing I suggested!”

“Hmmm, nope. Shuichi using the map is waaaay different,” Kokichi lies. 

“It’s not different at all!” Kaito disagrees, and Kokichi just laughs.

 --

 “This ride is about me!” Kokichi claims from his seat beside Shuichi.

“No one cares,” Himiko drawls, leaning against Tenko, half watching the animatronic pirates sing.

“How is this ride about you?!” Keebo challenges.

“Don’t you know Keebo, I live a secret life as a famous pirate! I am the phantom pirate, king of the seas!”

“That’s a lie!” he accuses from the row of seats behind. 

“Yup, now be quiet Keeboy! You’re disrupting the other people on the ride!”

“Kokichi, you’re the one who-!”

Kokichi shushes him, grinning. He subtly scoots closer to Shuichi, but Shuichi still notices it and tries to stop himself from blushing. 

Shuichi isn’t stupid. He knows it is fairly likely that Kokichi’s interested in him romantically. His blatant proclamations along with some observed involuntary mannerisms have clued him into that much.

However, Shuichi is a detective, which means he can only make deductions; he knows it’s likely that Kokichi likes him, but he’s not sure. He has known Kokichi for years, and if there’s one thing he’s sure of, it’s that Kokichi Oma is a liar. He can’t risk reciprocating these feelings that Kokichi has been projecting, because he knows that it might be a lie, and if it is a lie, then things would get awkward, and awful, and Shuichi is happy just being next to Kokichi. If being close to Kokichi means that he has to shove down his feelings, then so be it. 

 --

 “Fuck it’s hot outside,” Miu states the obvious, fanning herself with her shirt. 

Himiko and Tenko approach. “I knew my tracking spell would help us find you guys.” 

“Hey,” Kaito greets them, “we’re about to go on the Haunted Mansion.”

“Ooooo, sounds exciting!” Tenko chirps while Himiko nods with a smile.

 --

 As they get wait to get inside the elevator of the Haunted Mansion ride, Kokichi speaks up, “Hey Kaito, guess what?”

“What?”

“A whole buuuunch of riders actually died on this very ride ten years ago! People say their ghosts haunt the ride and mess with the seats! Workers even claim that some of the decorations aren’t just fake projections, but real ghosts!”

“Wh-wh-what?!” Kaito screeches, clinging to Maki, who returns Kokichi’s claim with a glare.

Miu guffaws, “hah! That’s bullshit.” 

“Kokichi, everyone knows you’re lying!” Keebo points at him.

Kaito crosses his arms and avoids eye contact. “...yeah, you’re obviously lying.”

Kokichi grins, “are you sure?”

(Maki starts glaring even more than usual at Kokichi after she finally gets Kaito to stop screaming about the “definitely real” ghosts)

 --

 They’re strolling through Fantasyland after eating something for lunch.

“Hey,” Kaito walks back from where he was walking ahead with Maki, “we’re about to go on, uh… the teacups.” He points towards the Wonderland-themed ride.

“It’s a mad tea party!” Kokichi grins.

“Me and Keebo are gonna go on Splash Mountain instead.”

“Isn’t the wait for that, two hours?” Shuichi inquires.

“Yeah? So? ...I just wanna get soaked.”

There’s a relative groan of annoyance at the innuendo.

“We’ll meet you guys at Cosmic Ray’s after,” she informs them, remembering the name from Kaito when he was talking about where he could get a burger.

 --

 “Wheeee! Shuichi, isn’t this fun?”

“Kokichi, could you please slow down?” Shuichi doesn’t mind going fast, but this is… very fast. He’d like to go a little bit slower, at least.

“Hmmm, fine, but only for you, my beloved.” Kokichi smiles wide.

Shuichi’s cheeks turn pink.

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Kaito groans from beside them. Tenko wanted all the girls to go in one teacup, and since the teacups are two to three per cup, it worked out pretty well… for them.

As soon as they get out from under the hood of the teacup ride, rain starts pouring down.

“Shit,” Kaito mutters.

“Of course you degenerate males wouldn’t come prepared! Luckily, me and Himiko came prepared!” She reaches into the magician’s small backpack and pulls out some rain ponchos. 

“Tada!” Himiko proclaims, “eight magic ponchos for all of us.” She hands them out to the group.

“Too bad Miu and Keebo aren’t here to use them.”

“Nee-heehee! Guess they’re getting soaked after all!”

 --

 Eventually, after some more walking and shopping around, they find solace from the rain at the restaurant Kaito insisted they all go to for dinner. Shuichi remembers him mumbling something about the “full Tomorrowland experience” or whatever that means. It works out alright though, since Kaito gets his burger, and the rest of them get to sit down. It’s still pretty early for dinner, but they plan to make it back to the hotel to rest so they can be back and more awake for the fireworks. 

They’ve all got a booth to themselves, which is good because that means no one besides the five of them has to witness Kaito inhaling his burger unless they look his way. It also means no one can hear Tenko when she scolds him for his lack of manners. 

“Shuichi! Feed me a fry!”

Shuichi blushes but picks up a fry and lowers it towards Kokichi’s head as it rests in his lap. “Please don’t choke Kokichi.”

“I’m the supreme leader of an evil organization! You think eating while laying down could kill me? No way!” He insists, inching up towards the fried potato.

“If you’re sure…” Shuichi trails off as Kokichi eats the french fry.

He prattles on after chewing, “I’m the king and Shuichi is my servant! Nee-heehee-ouch!”

Kaito snorts, food in his mouth as he asks, “did you just bump your head on the table?”

Kokichi sits up from Shuichi’s lap, rubbing his forehead. “Of course not, I just bypassed an assassination attempt. Because of my invisible helmet, Harumaki’s blow to my head only gave me a teensy headache,” he lies, adding hand gestures to emphasize.

“That’s a lie,” Maki calls him out this time, wiping her mouth with a napkin. “If I were to attempt to take your life, you wouldn’t survive,” she assures him.

“Awwww, does that mean Harumaki doesn’t actually hate me after all?” Kokichi tilts his head, his voice teasing.

“Don’t push it.” Her expression is deadpan. 

“Do you want me to feed you a fry, Himiko?” Tenko tilts her head, holding up the offered fry.

“Nyeh… I’m okay.” Himiko bites into her burger. 

“Okay!” Tenko smiles. “So how was everyone else’s time while we were gone? Hopefully not getting into too much trouble.” 

“Nee-heehee, what else can you expect from an evil leader like me?” His grin broadens. “Keebo screamed like a little kid on the rollercoaster! Too bad you missed it!” Kokichi teases.

“What time is it?” Kaito asks, looking towards Maki as she sips her water. 

She reaches into her backpack and checks her phone. “It’s five-ten.”

“Hey fuckers,” Miu greets as she walks up to their table with her tray alongside a very wet and sulking Keebo.

“Miu! You’re shirt’s see-through!” Kaito yells reproachfully.

“Heeeeee!” Miu covers herself. “Well don’t look perv…” she mumbles as she sits down meekly.

“I didn’t know Keeboy was water-proof!” Kokichi changes the subject with faux surprise.

“Kokichi, we have been in the pool at the same time!”

 --

 They get back into the park around eight-thirty, a little more awake than before. 

“Shouldn’t we just go back to the hotel? It’s still raining…” 

“Not before the fireworks Keeboy! I wanna see things explode!” Kokichi exclaims.

Keebo and Miu have rain ponchos on now too, not that it’s making much of a difference since they ran from the buses without them.

They all try to navigate through the crowd in front of the castle to find the best place to see the fireworks from as possible. It’s not very full, since it’s still raining, but a decent crowd has decided to stick around. 

The rain turns to drizzles as the show begins.

Shuichi looks at Kokichi’s face light up in amazement while watching the firework show and feels warm inside.

 --

 They go on a few other rides they weren’t able to get to earlier. (One of them is called Astro Orbiter and they ride it mainly for Kaito.) 

They’re sort of just roaming around when Miu halts the group in their steps. “I gotta go on jungle cruise. I sorta told Gonta I’d get some pictures of the animals... C’mon Keebo.”

“Okay!” Keebo nods.

For some reason, this prompts Maki and Kaito to converse amongst themselves before approaching Shuichi. “We’re gonna head back. Y’know what they say: early to bed and early to rise.” Kaito pats Shuichi on the back and gives him a wink… for… some reason.

“Ah, okay.”

“Have fun, we’ll see you later…” Maki smiles as they head towards the exit, four remaining.

“Are you tired yet Kokichi?” Shuichi asks.

“Who needs sleep when you can stay up late and wake up early in the morning?”

“...”

“But, I was more tired earlier. Taking a nap with Shuichi made me much more awake! I’m ready to ride more rides!”

Shuichi smiles at that. He doesn’t want the leader to push himself too hard. He’s experienced Kokichi completely shutting down because of a lack of sleep. Shuichi has struggled with insomnia too, but Kokichi isn’t able to sleep in like he can. The other normally wakes up early regardless of when he goes to sleep.

“Let me know if you get tired Shumai! I wouldn’t want my beloved to lie just for my sake. I hate liars, you know.”

Shuichi nods, “I’m alright for now. I think we can stay a little bit longer.”

Himiko then speaks up, “Hey. We’re going to watch Mickey’s Magic Show. Do you wanna come with us?”

“Sounds like fun!” Kokichi grips his hand, racing ahead of the other two. Tenko seems to take that as a personal challenge, so she lifts Himiko for a piggy-back ride and chases them.

 --

 Himiko pulls a blanket out of her backpack once they get into the waiting room for the show; none of them are sure why or when she brought it but the air-conditioned room is pretty cold and the air outside is beginning to cool down because of the season. At least it stopped raining.

“It’s a cape, because I’m a mage,” she says, but the fleecy crescent moons and clouds on it say differently.

 --

 Shuichi and Kokichi had already decided they would ride Thunder Mountain next. Well, Kokichi decided, and Shuichi quickly agreed.

Tenko knows Himiko won’t want to ride anything that high up, so she suggests a less intense alternative. “We never got to ride Mine Train Himiko! Do you want to go before the park closes?” Tenko remembers that Himiko wanted to at least try riding Seven Dwarves’ Mine Train.

“Nyeh… but isn’t the wait still really long?”

“It might be, but we can check!”

“Okay. After Mine Train let’s leave right away. My feet hurt, and my MP is too low to cast a health recovery spell.”

Himiko and Tenko set out towards the ride.

And then there were two.

 --

 The line for Thunder Mountain Railroad isn’t unreasonably long, but it’s definitely not quiet either. 

Kokichi has his arms up the whole time, and even though Shuichi is gripping the safety bar for dear life during the sudden turns, his eyes are wide open, and there’s a rush of adrenaline going through him. It’s not an intense roller coaster by any means, but the wind on their faces and the loud crackle of the tracks makes it exciting. After, Kokichi pulls him by the hand towards Adventureland and Shuichi smiles the whole way there.

 --

 In the last few minutes before the park closes they make it back to Pirates of the Carribean again, for the last ride of the night. Now that it’s just the two of them, it feels somehow different from when they were in a group. 

“Shuichi, we need to talk.” The boat has begun to move along its track in the water, the false night sky of the ride seeming so realistic overhead.

Shuichi’s eyes widen. “Ah, what would you like to talk about?”

“Do you like me?”

Eyebrows raise, “of-of course.”

Kokichi rolls his eyes, “C’mon Shuichi. I know you’re not that dense.” He pauses. “What I mean is, how do you feel about me, as more than a friend?”

“O-oh,” Shuichi stammers, feeling his face preheating like an oven.

Kokichi leans forward expectantly. “So?”

“Um… I like you, Kokichi.” 

An involuntary smile appears on the leader’s face. “Good, me too.”

Shuichi smiles back.

“So let’s make it official.” Kokichi says, looking ahead instead of into Shuichi’s eyes as he laces their fingers together.

“I’d like that.” Shuichi smiles lovingly as he leans over to press his lips to Kokichi’s cheek.

Even though it’s a little dark in the ride, Shuichi can still see Kokichi’s blush. It’s really cute, he notices, but then Kokichi’s facing him again, and he sees a searching look in those purple eyes that’s even more cute. Shuichi nods, and Kokichi takes the opportunity to grab onto Shuichi’s shirt and pull him closer until their lips meet.

It’s nothing crazy, just a soft press of lips against one another with that yo-ho pirate song echoing in the background, but it makes the two of them feel really warm and giddy. The seriousness of the moment is stopped quickly, since Kokichi can’t help himself from grinning. It sort of stops the kiss, but he can’t help it; he’s suddenly so full of energy, and he just can’t stop smiling. Shuichi opens his eyes and seeing Kokichi makes him smile too. It’s like their cheeks are stuck like that, but neither of them really mind.

As they’re getting off of the ride, Shuichi speaks up, a million little thoughts going through his head, “maybe we shouldn’t say anything to the others yet.”

“Why not? Are you ashamed of me?” Crocodile tears well up in his eyes.

Shuichi shakes his head. “No, I just think that Tenko would be less willing to share a room with us if she knew we are together.”

“Nee-heehee, so devious Shuichi. I think I’m rubbing off on you.”

“Maybe…”

 --

  (They don’t make it back to the hotel until midnight because of the long bus wait. Himiko texted them to warn them, but by the time they get there the line is already long and they have to wait for two buses to depart before finally getting on the third one. But, as they sit down in the seats and Kokichi falls asleep leaning against Shuichi’s shoulder, he finds that he doesn’t mind too much.)

I also posted this on my Ao3 Account

[too-attached-to-fiction]

Protector

Masterlist here.

Word Count: 2,293

Summary:            

One night, Zoey asks Emma to keep her safe. Emma isn't sure why, but for the first time, Zoey seems scared of what could happen outside of Beanies' walls.

Attempted assault and vomit mentioned, but not graphic.

Inspired by Girl Code, written by @ourfandomcrazyuniverse​.

Notes:    

I wasn't sure how to end this so the ending is abrupt but basically this is about Emma and Zoey! I always wanted to know more about their relationship and wondered what would happen if they were close. It's essentially a character study in order to improve on writing less dialogue, but I'm still happy with it and I hope you enjoy!

Read on Ao3 here.

~~~ 

 Emma looked up at the clock, scowling at the time. She’d been scheduled to close with Zoey, and closing was two hours from now. The thought of spending that much time alone with her “manager” (who was ten years younger than Emma) mader her want to barf.

 Okay, Zoey wasn’t bad. If anything, she reminded Emma of a young Jane: bright, sociable, loyal. She did what she was asked without any questions, no fighting back, and was always kind enough to recognize that Emma never wanted to talk to her. Sure, the two of them had their squabbles, but they both understood things could be way worse.

 Shit, Zoey even overshadowed Emma at work. She was always fucking perfect, the way Jane had been. And when one person is so brilliant at everything, the universe calls for the other to be an absolute fuck up. Not that Emma would ever admit that Zoey was brilliant.

 In some moments, Zoey kind of reminded Emma of her younger self. They both had a love for theater, a high amount of sass and a low tolerance for BS.

 In those moments, Emma wanted to toss her cookies into the food waste bin.

 “Hey, Emma? Are you done with the dishes?” Speak of the devil. Zoey poked her head in through the doorway of the back kitchen. “I just texted Nora and she said we could close early, since no one’s here.”

 Emma looked tiredly at the pile of unwashed cups and pastry plates. “I’m not done.”

 “Here, I’ll dry them and put them away.” Zoey said, pulling out her phone and texting Nora back. “Give me a minute to lock the door and turn off the house lights.”

 Emma sighed, moving onto the next dish. She’d tried changing jobs, but she never seemed to put in the effort to get an interview. Something was tying her to Beanies, but she didn’t understand what. It definitely wasn’t the hours or her coworkers, and the pay was average at best. The singing had to be the worst - Emma was pretty sure by now that it drove more customers away than it brought them in.

 How was Beanies still standing, anyways? She was sure that the owner of this place was just wasting time and money, considering Starbucks was always bustling with people. The team of employees currently only added up to five, and Nora was definitely working overtime when theater season came around.

 Zoey reappeared in the back kitchen, quietly joining Emma. Tonight she was humming another show choir tune. Maybe it was Hamilton again.

 Every once in a while Zoey looked out into the main area, a frown on her face. By the third time, the humming was gone, and she had slowed her work.

 “Emma?” Zoey asked, so quiet that she almost didn’t hear it the first time. “Emma?” She tried again.

 “Look, Zoey, just because we’re on the same shift and working together doesn’t mean you need to make small talk-”

 “It isn’t about that.” Zoey’s frown deepened. Emma paused, looking up. She’d never seen Zoey so… well, unhappy.

 “Hey, are you okay?” Emma may be crabby, but she knew where to draw the line. Something about Zoey was off. She set down another dirty mug into the sink with warm water and soap and looked at the younger girl.

 Zoey wouldn’t look at her, scrubbing a plate dry as she spoke. “Can you walk me to the bus stop and wait for me to get on after we close?”

 “What, am I some valet service now?” The words flew out of Emma’s mouth before she could stop them. She watched Zoey fake a smile and her stomach dropped. God, something was wrong.

 “There’s a guy out there.” Her voice was soft. “He’s been standing outside since I got here, and he.. He’s just there, waiting for me to leave. I’m scared that the minute I’m left alone he could do something.”

 “Do you know him?”

 “He’s come inside before, but you know, you hear stories all the time about those girls who…” Zoey took a deep breath, closing her eyes. “It just happens to them without any reason.” She looked up, blinking rapidly.

 “Leave the dishes here, we can finish them tomorrow.” Emma said, taking the plate out of her coworker’s hands. “If you want, you could stay with me for the night. My apartment’s shit, but it’s better than having that guy follow you.”

 “Really, it’s okay-”

 “No.” Emma shook her head. “I’m not leaving you alone in a situation like this. We both know how dangerous things can get in downtown Hatchetfield.”

     Emma looked at Zoey again. Despite what she had been thinking only half an hour before, Zoey didn’t intimidate her anymore. Emma watched as Zoey’s shoulders shook slightly and decided that it was time to be the better person.

 “Come on, let’s go home. I have pepper spray if we need it, and I can sneak photos of the guy if we need to file a report with the HTPD.” Emma said, reaching up to tug Zoey’s visor off her head. “I’ll get your shit while you change.”

 Emma retreated to the little hallway between the back door and the kitchen, unlocking her locker and taking her things. She threw her dirty apron into the bin before going to get Zoey’s bag and returning to her coworker. Zoey was in the same place Emma had left her in, blinking rapidly. Emma assumed she was trying to avoid ruining her makeup.

 She’d never seen Zoey like this, not even on a bad day. Most days she’d fake it until she went to the back. Emma didn’t even think Zoey was capable of crying.

 (Okay, maybe a part of Emma wished sometimes that Zoey was miserable too.)

 “Zo?” Emma asked. “Ready to go?” She lifted Zoey’s bag. Zoey took off her apron hastily before moving her hair to hide her face and slumping her shoulders.

 “Yeah, I guess.”

 Emma flicked off the lights on their way out, locking the door quickly after Zoey had stepped out in the cold night air.

 “You don’t stay with your theater friends?” Emma asked, leading the way to the car. She refused to go more than a foot away from the younger girl, always keeping Zoey in her peripheral vision.

 “Drama is worse when you’re friends with actors.” Zoey sighed. Emma nodded, conspicuously taking photos of the guy as they walked past. “We need a little while to recharge before we spend the next fifteen weeks together again.”

 “Makes sense.” Emma hummed, pointing when she saw her car. “Over here, the grey civic.”

 Minutes later, Emma was driving down yet another back street. She wanted to make sure that the guy wasn’t tailing them, occasionally taking random lefts and rights.

 “Thank you.” Zoey said, her voice quiet amongst the sound of the car tires running over the pavement. “There was this… guy my first year of college who tried… It was at a party, and he was drunk, and my friends pulled me away, but… What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve being so scared of any guy who walks into Beanies?” Her voice quivered just enough for Emma to shoot a concerned look at her.

 “You didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t…  No one deserves to live like that.” She tried to hide the anger in her voice. Sure, Zoey was a handful, but that sort of thing could fuck a person up. Emma wondered how anyone who did that could live with themselves. “Hey, once we get to my apartment we can watch Disney movies or musicals and eat popcorn and make hot chocolate. It’ll be like a sleepover.” She wasn't sure what spurred that comment, but she did have a small collection of those movies for when Jane's kids came over.

 The rest of the ride was quiet, apart from Zoey’s quiet sniffles and Emma’s cussing when they drove up to the parking garage entrance. “Almost there.” Emma promised, pulling into the first legal spot and parking.

 Zoey followed her without another word, up to Emma’s apartment. The apartment wasn’t much - a studio surrounded by windows and divided rooms from partitions - but still, Emma clicked on the lights one by one.

 “You can sit on the couch, I’ll get everything.” Emma waved in the general direction of a beat up sofa. “I know it’s not impressive or anything, but make yourself at home.” She slipped into the kitchen, putting popcorn bags in the microwave and water in the pot to boil. Leaving the kitchen, she headed to her rest area to hunt for clothes that could be Zoey’s size. She came up with a pair of long sweats (Jane’s, no doubt) and a baggy graphic t-shirt for Star Wars.

 “The bathroom’s over there.” Emma tossed the clothes in Zoey’s direction. “Pick a movie on Netflix?” She didn’t wait for an answer; instead, she went back into the kitchen to check on the popcorn.

   When she got back, Zoey had clearly made herself comfortable, curling up on the couch and staring at the screen. “Is Mamma Mia okay?”

 “Uh, sure.” Emma could vaguely remember Dancing Queen from Jane's 17th birthday, but she hadn't watched the movie in a while. She always thought it was a little too cheesy. But this was Zoey's night, and if she wanted to watch Mamma Mia, then fuck it. They'd watch Mamma Mia.

 “The first one or the sequel?”

 “Whatever you want.”

 Zoey settled on the first movie, and after they finished watching the sequel, Emma noticed she was starting to drift off. “Hey, why don’t we call it a night?” When Zoey didn’t respond, Emma grabbed a blanket, draping it over Zoey’s torso and legs.

 “Good night, Zo.”

   ~~~

 After that night, Zoey started talking to Emma more often. Sometimes they’d talk about the guy from CCRP Technical, who always asked for one black coffee. The funny thing was that Starbucks was actually closer to the office by a block. Sometimes they speculated why he went out of his way for their shitty product.

 “Maybe he doesn’t think it’s shitty.”

 “Maybe he doesn’t taste the spit.”

 “He doesn’t even add cream or sugar, of course he tastes the spit!”

 When Nora added the new musical part of the job, Zoey had listened to Emma gripe about it for the entire six hour shift. Somehow by the next day, the singing and dancing was replaced by a small machine that sang out a jingle whenever someone tipped. Emma still complained, but Zoey knew she was grateful to not have her shift full of performances.

 So the mystery man kept coming in, and Emma and Zoey kept talking. Until finally, one day, when he was at the counter -

 “One black coffee.”

 “Keeping it simple? No caramel frappe?” Emma asked with a smirk. She knew his orders in and out, what time he'd come in and the days he brought his friends.

 “I just need something to get through this afternoon.” The mystery man shook his head. “I figured I’d walk here and get something to drink while I was at it.”

 Feeling a strike of confidence, Emma leaned on the counter, looking up at the man. His shoulders were rounded, his face long with bright blue eyes. “I see you in here all the time. What’s your name?”

 “Paul Matthews. I work at CCRP Technical, down that way.” God, Emma was lucky the store was slow at this hour. Zoey pretended to be very interested in polishing the espresso machine, a smile tugging at her lips. Emma pointed to her name tag.

 “Emma Perkins.”

 After a pause, Emma spoke again. “You know that Starbucks is better and closer, right?” Emma raised an eyebrow.

 “I’d rather give my money to small businesses.” Paul shrugged. “And anyway, you know..” He trailed off, looking at her for a second too long before clearing his throat. “Some things are worth it.” He looked at her again and then looked at the travel cup of coffee in his hands. “Like,” he took a sip, “This coffee!”

 Emma squinted her eyes at him, knowing full well that the coffee wasn’t the reason he came. Nobody could love their coffee, at least, not enough to go out of their way to get it. Still, it was cute to watch this guy squirm under her questioning gaze.

 “It’s good.” He defended, and Emma scoffed.

 “It’s the bare minimum.”

 The bell that hung over the front door rang, and a few more customers started to approach the counter. “Well, I guess I’ll see you around.” She said, straightening up and giving him a small smile.

 “Yeah. See you later, Emma.” God, his awkward smile was adorable.

 She watched him walk out, smirking as he paused outside. He looked like he was saying something, but she couldn’t read his lips.

 When the shop was slow again, Zoey paused her work, hip-checking Emma. “I think he was picking up what you were putting down.” She winked.

 “Maybe.” Emma snickered. “It’s not too far. Did you see his face when I asked him why he doesn’t just go to Starbucks?”

 “He comes here for you. I swear he’s disappointed when I’m the one at the register.” Zoey laughed. “You should ask him out.”

 Emma hummed again. “Isn’t that considered unprofessional?”

 “Everything we do is unprofessional.” Zoey pointed out with a laugh. “I’ll tell Nora to stay home tomorrow.”

 When Emma finally did make a move, Zoey made her pinky-promise to tell her everything the morning after. And when theater season rolled around, Emma made sure to make it to Zoey’s opening night.

 Maybe Zoey wasn’t so bad after all.