#I guess I posted a pic of all my books... but uhhh yeah.

[foxgloveinspace]

snowflake and cashmere is my new favorite winter sent from b&bw. oh my gosh it's so good.

[sword-of-summer]

All of them answer every question fuck you

ahahaha no i respectfully deny your "fuck you" and i accept the ask and so-

i am 5'10", and i don't wish to be taller or shorter- i am the perfect height for hugs and messy hair, and yep, i like it here-

dream pet would be a mix of golden retriver and a husky called Holly and a chonky cat called Loki- yes ofcourse my future kids have names everyone should name their future pets-

ripped jeans/black pants with a Darth Vader tshirt or a Ethnic Fusion Kurta with black sneakers/artificial leather slip-ons, and if it's cold, a black jacket open obviously- and a black wristwatch i love my black wristwatch.

favourite video game was Clash of Clans and going even back, GTA Vice City and, the og- MARIIOOOO

three things/people are Oreos, Nutella and Pizza. The Holy Trinity-

"Beware me my fingers are smeared with chicken popcorn grease"

you didn't mention an opinion, @chunkybirb, so imma give my opinion on Vanilla ice cream and Nutella- ANYONE WHO HADN'T COMBINED THESE TWO COMBINE THESE TWO THEY ARE FUCKING AWESOME

im either phlegmatic or melancholic bruh idk maybe ik or maybe not

im v v v v ticklish

not an allergy, but an intense hatred for ketchup- i vomit if it gets too close to me fuck you ketchup

im heterosexual

any between tea and coffee but full milk coffee (ik, kill me), never had cocoa- but i love a chocolate or nutella milkshake

both. both is good. (cat and dog)

i would be an elf cause hell yeah, knowledge and wisdom

favourite youtuber is Samay Raina, a stand up comedian turned youtuber who is just awesome-

as i mentioned in 1., i am 5'10"

i would not change my name cause it's the coolest fucking name ever, i am Tanay, and Tanay in Hindi means Son, and my parents literally named their son Son, and hell yeah i like it

i forgot how much i weigh- last i checked it was 75 kilos, but ive gained weight since 2019 so yep, gotta walk in the mornings

yes i believe in metaphysicality cause one- it seems cool- second- me and @theclassyghost discussed a metaphysical life theory that i really really like and metaphysicality gives preservation of knowledge so i believe in spirits

SPACE. SPACE. SPACE.

im not that religious, no

pet peeves no well nah not really

nocturnal def nocturnal i sleep at 4.50 anyway hehehehe

fav constellation is Cassiopeia

fav star is Sirius tho

what the fuck are ball jointed dolls

i do have a fear of losing people that's just anxiety i guess

yep, global warming is real

never thought that much about reincarnation tbh but maybe, i do

fav movie is Spider Man : Into The SpiderVerse and Inception and The Dark Knight Rises and Revenge of The Sith and yes, for my indian gang, 3 Idiots and Gully Boy

yep i get scared v v v easily

i have had no pets but i plan to once i grow up

@chunkybirb 's blog is fucking cool awesome and *chef's kiss* a masterpiece

blue calms me. i love blue.

live in Norway cause pretty lights, snow, and less people than this overpopulated country i am in

born in Mumbai, India

v v v dark brown like it's almost black but no it's dark brown

introvert

horoscopes and zodiacs, i do read them, never believed that much tbh-

HUGS I LOVE HUGS

i really wanna visit my brother i haven't met him in a long time i really wanna play cricket w him just like old times

my sister- she's annoying but well i care for her

nah

tattoos idk bruh im okay idk may get one or may not get one

nope, smoking is ewwww *vomits*

ah my crush- she's cool [ if she exists

when the chalk doesn't write on the board but goes iiiiiieeee I HATE THAT

a sound i love is rain pitter pattering i just hhhhhh sends me into happiness

nope fatass here

nope fatass here

favourite actors have to be eddie redmayne, oscar issac and pedro pascal- and margot robbie and winona ryder in the actresses section also yes, elliot page

bruh already answered in 30.

im okayish!! spotify and tumblr, cool combo-

my hair are okay being black for me

yesterday, monday, from 6.40 to 6.50

music

uhhh naah not that i know of

well in Rick Riordan's Magnus Chase books, the sword of Frey aka Sumarbrander TALKS and demands to be called Jack, so here i am

bakwaas, music and comfy

yep, i believe in evolution

unfollow on hate and when they dm me sending nsfw pics ugh why are people like that

follow, well, i like people and they seem cool, so i follow them

fav kind of person is the one who'll sit with me for hours not even talking and just vibing to music

fav animals are beavers, doggos and cats

three fav blogs are @chunkybirb, @theclassyghost, @little-boats-on-a-lake, @aredhel-of-gondolin, @sue-me-imbadass, @alleenkaas, @my-ackerman, @brrrrrrrrrrzone

fav emoticon has to be ☹ this me seeing my stupidity outrank others

fav meme has to be Butternut is a master of psychological manipulation

INTP

Libraaa let's go

no dog, i have

black darth vader tshirt, black pants, black sneakers and black wrist watch

i have no selfies my phone has no cameras i live in eternal darkness

what the fuck are platform shoes

i, uhhh, i remember weird things like what i drew in class in 3rd while i was supposed to be doing english

lazy ass here, no front flips possible

i like birds they fly

nope i don't Iike swimming i like blankets

wrapped up in blankets reading books sounds better than both

ketchup

hyperspace travel

nope none

reading writing eating sleeping

my friend

tumblr seems cool

i have around 60-70 idk

yes i can run but why

yes they do but what's the fun in that

nope I'd fall over

sapphire let's go

koala bear or panda

sunflower or the one on a lemon tree

ketchup store

one cup of coffee is enough, tysm

read minds that sounds cool cool yeaaahh

nope never wore it a black clothes guy here BatMan

winter winter all year long

i don't know and i don't wanna try

i don't know and i don't wanna know

everyone cause they are better than me

bookstores cause bookstores any bookstores

sneakers, black onez

apparently some gas bitches mixed up to form a planet

non vegetarian but i partake meat just twice or thrice in two weeks

i don't know they don't seem like liking

naaaaaaaah

bugs ew

spiders ew

about the fact that i come off as arrogant and overconfident while in reality it's just that my communication skills suck

i can draw averagely whenever im in a mood

this thing im answering but i like answering it

uhhhhhhh brain freeze- idk bruh questions are good they give knowledge

yep, while sleeping

ahh yes calming, they are

cloudy days cause fucking cool vibes

hehehe wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy

CumuloNimbus i really like it's name yknow nimBUS

dark blue, dark blue always or black

naaaah no freckles

fav thing is when they laugh and it's just happy and we're both laughing like shitheads but who cares we're rebelling against depressing life and we laugh

both. both is good [ fruits and vegetables

sleep but i have to answer 170 questions cause @chunkybirb

sky sky sky it's my blog's header duh uh sKy

sweet and sour candy. SWEET AND SOUR CANDY.

dim lights it makes me feel cool

ahhh so here we go- Mooncalfs, Thunderbirds, Phoenixes, Sphinxes, Dragons that seem to be Space Nebulae, and more and more and more

i really feel like a boomer sometimes

i love everything about this site/app it makes me feel happy cause i like the people and the posts

uhhhhh i think too much about everything cause i just do. i like thinking

"He's dead, guys. For the sake of The Force, please watch Star Wars now he wanted to discuss it with you" actually no i would just say "A big shoutout to Garlic Bread he loved Garlic Bread"

myself cause i should be sleeping but sleep is for the weak and i am the weak and the strong i am a paradox-

that i obsess too much on things and try involving people it never works out

nope. had braces for 4 years, that beat out teeth showing smiles

i prefer computer-tv ahahahahaha

never tried them, so IDK

naaaaah not motion sickness- never travelled by sea so idk seasickness

lobed ears

yep i believe that deeds do count in life and beyond

idk bruh i don't believe in physical attraction too much- bodies are fake- mentally/metaphysically tho, im a 7

ahhhhh many many Stupid Genius, Tani, Tanu, Tanya

i still do-

i really want to talk to a therapist. converse. and discover.

im both, i am both.

10:1 is the ratio- giving 10, receiving 1

uhhh nothing just when i am right and people use the old "disrespect" argument

3, Hindi, Marathi, English

girls

uhh no i am not

my hair i love them everyone says things about my hair but i love them

knowledge vibes i give, someone tells me- and that's all i ever wanted

anyone i know tbh, my mutuals, my friends, my discord friends

ahhh no i wouldn't but i wish i was born 20 years earlier

bleh bloo, neither like nor dislike

i don't know if i have one

i don't know, haven't had physical contact in a long long long time in a galaxy far far away

the above point stands but i would like to ig

anything i write, 3 hours later, i instantly hate just idk why

anything i write

that i am normal no i am not and i am not okay hahahahaha

65-70 ish people

somewhere around-

many many many don't ask please but okay if you do ask

somewhat

uhhhhh idr exactly but i won't tell in public duh uh

mediummm hairrrr

last year lockdown i became harry potter

i don't know buddy i seriously don't know

yep i do cause knowledge i like knowledge

naaah never tried

no i definitely cannot stand on my hands or my head for more than 30 seconds

yep, im pretty sure i answered most of them correctly-

og link-

[theworldsoul]

Uhh warning VENT!!! Talks about self harm and shit... also religious bullshit and gender bullshit??? Like I'm really trans and also Catholicism really fucked me up so if ur uncomfy with that just... skip this post. Also if ur Christian and can't handle seeing ur shit defaced then skip this post. Also if ur gonna clown on this post as "cringe atheism" then fuck you because I'm literally coping with pain lol

:readmore:

Anways now that the disclaimer is over... here comes the real shit.

I... have been going through a LOT lately, jesus christ. I was HAPPY today, yknow? I thought I was gonna be happy the whole day.

I was dancing today. That's how happy I was. For the first time in like... a whole year... I was really so happy. I thought I was gonna cry. But then I got home. And well,,,, I did cry. But not from happiness. I just got my math grade back. A fucking 49 percent. MY AVERAGE RIGHT NOW IS A 57 PERCENT. I MIGHT FAIL MATH 20. I MIGHT HAVE TO RETAKE IT. oh my god I'm such a failure I cant do anything ever i try SO fucking hard but honestly??? I cant fucking do this. I can't, I'm not mentally capable. "Just work harder"... BITCH I AM WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN. I AM SPENDING HOURS AND HOURS OF MY LIFE STUDYING AND PRACTICING. I'm starting to think that how hard i try doesn't even fucking matter because I'm STUPID and all i know how to do is PAINT SHIT!!!! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ART!!!! IF I FAIL THIS CLASS I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE A HOUSE IN THE FUTURE!!!! A HOUSE!!!!!

I dont even want to be a fucking orthodontist. Okay??? I wanna do what I love: painting. But NOOOO. I have to get a "respectable" job that will "pay me enough money to live". WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO MAKE MONEY TO LIVE??? WTF??? THATS LITERALLY SO FUCKED UP. everyone deserves to live (unless they like murdered someone? I guess? Idk) BUT LIKE I DIDNT KILL NO ONE SO WHATS ALL THIS BS ABOUT WORKING TO LIVE???? WTF??? I rly gotta do all this shit I hate, all this shit I'm mentally incapable of doing... so i can have a house. Fuck this. Yknow with my average at a 57... I might fail this class even if I get a really good grade on my next quiz. Can you fucking believe it??? I'm literally so fucking stupid I cant even pass a dumb fucking math class god i hate myself. I cant fail this class. I've NEVER failed a class. Almost failed... but never HAD TO RETAKE A CLASS. that's the ultimate failure. I think my parents would hate me if I failed this.

And on top of that... I'm really struggling with uhhh, dysphoria and body image... and it's so fucking horrible man I want to rip all my skin off I want to suffocate god I want to KILL him I want to MAKE HIM SUFFER. I want to gouge his eyes out and force him to eat them. WHY WOULD HE MAKE ME LIKE THIS????? WHY????? WHATS THE POINT IN MAKING A CHILD SUFFER SO MUCH???

What did I ever do that was so wrong I deserved all this punishment???

Well FUCK YOU and fuck your stupid book and FUCK THESE STUPID FUCKING SAINTS. WASNT THERE SUPPOSED TO BE A WHOLEASS ANGEL WATCHING OVER ME?? PROTECTING ME??? WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH NOW?? WHERE WAS THAT BITCH WHEN... when I was being bullied? When I literally wanted to kill myself?

Where was that guardian angel when I kept making THE SAME MISTAKE over and over again and I KNEW it was wrong but I kept doing it anyways because it was the only way I could feel like soemone cared about me????

I bet that angel motherufcker KNEW they didnt care. DID THE ANGEL EVER ONCE HELP ME??? NOOOO. all those times I was bruised and broken... all those times...

Man, I was just a kid. I was SO fucking young. And I would come like a lamb to the slaughter and kneel. I would pray... ask for guidance. I would pray the rosary too, I would read the bible and try my very best to understand it, I would go to church and volunteer at church and do my best to be a Good Boy and never sin. I did EVERYTHING right. I literally fasted at some point, like a religious fast. I was devoted...

Honestly though? I think it was the same mistake I make over and over again, except not with a real person.

And you have me NOTHING. GO GIRL, GIVE US NOTHING!!!!!!! I literally used to self-punish for the sins I couldnt bring myself to confess. At my communion, there was one sin I didn't tell because I knew it was unforgivable. I still hate myself for that. But man, I used to try and do all sorts of things to somehow cleanse myself of it. I figured THAT whole ordeal was why I was constantly being tortured.

But I was stupid and I am stupid and that makes NO SENSE because if the thing I'm being punished for happened when I was a child, WHY DID THE PUNISHMENT BEGIN AT MY BIRTH????

They used to tell me that god handcrafted every part of me specifically for some sort of grand reason.

Why.

Really? This bitch really "handcrafted" me just so I could cry and cut myself nearly every night??? Fuck that. Like why would you make me this way. It hurts more than you can IMAGINE. The only reason I'm not dead yet is because of ME, MY strength, not any of the bullshit YOU gave me. I hate when people say "oh, god made u so hardworking" or "oh, god made you so passionate/hopeful/full of love/fiery/whatever" LIKE STFU BITCH THAT WAS NOT SKYDADDY THAT WAS ME!!!

you wanna know what he made me?

dysphoric, ugly af, yeah.... but the worst part?

He made me feel.

That doesn't sound bad, right? Well it's the worst thing on the list. It is my downfall, my Achilles heel or whatever. This emotions shit??? It RUINED my life. My whole life I was cursed with a fucking monster inside me. I kept trying to tell everyone that it wasnt me!!! I kept telling them that it felt like I was being possessed. But adults are SHIT. I hate adults. I want to kill them all. They failed me and their god failed me. None of them every listened to me. All they knew how to do was punish, punish, punish.

It's like giving an allergic kid some peanuts and then getting angry at them for going into anaphylactic shock or whatever. Nobody ever thought "hey, why don't we stop giving the kid peanuts?"

ALL THE ADULTS AROUND ME ACT LIKE CHILDREN AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE ACTED LIKE CHILDREN FUCK ADULTS

Anwyays that's how I ended up with all these unresolved issues,.... emotion is a tough one, like I literally dont have the ability to control my emotions at all, I can try and like, repress them but I cant make myself actually feel less.

My emotion hurts more than anyone else's and nobody ever understood that. I would tell them that it hurts, it PHYSICALLY HURTS, and they would say I just wanted attention. I would tell them I literally couldnt control what my body said and did, I would tell them I felt like A PUPPET ON STRINGS and no one believed me. Fuck them.

Healthy coping mechanisms? I literally self ship with Snape to cope. I literally self ship with characters my brain made up and put in my dreams to cope. I used to hurt myself so much trying to feel loved and cared about irl. Fiction is so much better. I sound like a loser but its TRUE. The sort of thing I need, the sort of love I need is like... a parent. You can't go looking for a parent in a romantic partner, it fucks everything up and you end up... well, let's just say it proabbly wasnt the most legal thing, but I wasnt thinking strisght at all I mean dude I was So fucked in my head when I did all that...whatever...anyways so thank u for fiction!!! I love fiction. Want to kill someone? Draw it. Then you'll feel much better!!! And you dont go to jail!!!

Well the pics here... idk, it was really calming to do this. It's new, painting over religious shit. I was gonna do the whole bible but I already burnt that shit so.... and I was going to cut but I'm trying really hard to stay clean... like really hard. It's so weird and like, addicting, once I hit styro I don't want to stop, but also it kinda transfers the emotional pain to physical pain, making it way easier to deal with. I just can't keep doing that because I KNOW it's bad and look I thoguht I was clean for a whole year but then I fucked up and WOW, GUESS WHAT MADE ME RELAPSE??? MATH CLASS!!!!

Whatever anyways here are my wonderful works of art I made while crying and cursing god (like I'm so pissed at all this catholic bs I believed in him again just to swear at him lol)

.... but imagine for a moment, a better world. One in whcih these saints whose images I've defaced are actually good people... a world in which they SEE ME AND THEY HEAR ME... and I go unpunished.... and I am embraced by someone who UNDERSTANDS.

I think I would cry.

Too bad that world doesnt exist and I just made it up to try and feel a bit better. Whatever, whatever. I painted the things, they're gonna dry. I work hard, I'm gonna do good on my quiz, I hope. I just have to be making it through, that's all it is, work work work without a break but I can proabbly do it. I'm really slipping I admit like the mental health is slipping it's getting worse like I havent had a "fuck I am afab" moment in such a long time so yeah...

Anwyays I feel so much better now that I did my little art project yknow???

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #313

“i’m your turbo lover  /  tell me there’s no other”

Where are you located at this moment? In my bed. What if you found out your ex was having a child with someone else? If it was Sara, I'm finding out who the fuck I'm flying up there to punch his face in. If it was Jason, I'd either faint or be in the bathroom vomiting. Or both. I can almost promise you at least one or the other while I have an absolute emotional breakdown. I'm not at the point in my recovery where I can hear that and be entirely okay. I'd be happy for any of the others. At what age do you think you'll be ready to have children? Never. When was the last time you couldn't stop laughing? Why? I don't recall. Which of your friends do your parents get along best with? I guess Girt, since he's known my mom the longest of the friends I still have. I don't know about Dad; he barely knows any of my friends seeing as I don't live with him and see him rarely. Is there anyone in your friendship group that your parents don't like? No. Can you recall the last time you were extremely disappointed? I surprisingly can't remember, even though I know it was recent. Who was the last person to un-friend you on Facebook? I don't know, it's not like I go hunting people down if I notice the number has dropped, lol. Do you know why he/she decided to un-friend you? I'm certain it would've been something political. Are there any food wrappings, boxes, containers etc. in your room? No. Do you know anyone who does have cancer? I don't think anyone who currently has it, no. I may know someone via association, but idk. What is the worst medicine you've ever taken? There are two that very strongly stand out: the first one was in middle school, and the second sometime last year. I was put on an antidepressant that made me absolutely love life in the morning, like I would practically prance through school, but come afternoon, I was a fucking demon. Mom took me off that shit so fast. Most recently, my birth control was changed to have more estrogen for some reason I can't recall (maybe it had to do with mood?? idk), and it made me... I'm just gonna say I was a ~mess~. I slammed on breaks with it so fuckin fast. Safe to say I returned to my normal pill. Has your house or where you stayed ever flooded? My childhood home came very close during Hurricane Floyd. Thankfully the water never got actually inside the house, but it was an absolute lake outside. What was the last event or special occasion you participated in? My niece's birthday was actually a couple days ago, so we celebrated at my sister's house. What do you find yourself reminiscing about the most? I'll give you one guess. Do you have a favorite pianist? No. Song you listened to last is...? I have "Turbo Lover" by Judas Priest on right now. What's the last type of cookie you ate? Uhhh I would assume chocolate chip. Do you have your own computer? I have my own laptop, and I'm possibly getting an actual computer come May?? One of my WoW friends knows the hell I've been through with this laptop, and she and her husband are getting new computers then, so she's basically pushed her husband's old one on me, lol. Apparently it works just fine, he just wants something better. I've told her again and again to make some money off of it, but she's pretty much giving me no choice lmao. I appreciate it a whole lot, though. It'd be pretty nice to separate games onto an actual, capable desktop versus making my laptop sound like it's screaming for God's mercy if I boot something up. Describe your computer chair? I don't have one. Well, there's an old one in the extra room I'm going to end up using, but all I know is it's black. I've never paid closer attention to it. Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Open. I feel too isolated with it closed. Are you going to keep your last name when you get married? God no, it's very unlikely. I hate my last name, take it away. Does it bother you when people beg? Why are they begging, and how insistently? It depends. Do you have any weird rings? I have two, but neither I consider weird, at least. Well, I suppose the one with "bitch" carved on the inside would confuse non-Supernatural fans, haha. Are you anything like your siblings? Not really, no. At least, my two immediate sisters. Mom says I'm extremely similar to her eldest daughter though and wishes we'd talk more, but yeah, I just don't have anything to talk about with her. I'm so bad at initiating conversation. When was the last time you shaved your legs? October for when I was doing that witchy photoshoot with a friend. I absolutely hate shaving my legs and pretty much only do if anyone else whose opinion would affect me may see them. What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? Uhhh I guess all the "upgrades" I want to make to Venus' enclosure: a 40g tank and a nice, accurate hygrometer and thermometer, as well as the proper kind of lamp for her. I feel like such a "bad snake mom" still having her in her current terrarium because, while it's perfectly liveable and not dangerous, it's too small for her. It's pretty much always on my mind to some degree nowadays, so just like, dropping the terrarium and extra tools off would be a massive weight off my shoulders. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No, but I was able to skip the intro Writing course the last time I was in college; I just started in Writing II. Who took your profile pic? Anywhere where it's a picture of myself, odds are me. I hate getting pictures taken, but if it's gonna happen, it'll be through myself, knowing my "good" angle and such, lol. Have you ever been fishing? Do you know anyone who likes fishing as a hobby? I've been fishing many times, especially as a kid with my dad. There are pleeeenty of people I know who enjoy it. I don't anymore. Do you own any cats? What color are their eyes? Yes; his are a light blue. Is there a rose bush in your garden? What color are its roses? We don't have a garden. When was the last time you spent over $100 in one transaction? What did you buy? Over $100 with my own cash, a plane ticket. My recent tattoo deposit was exactly a hundred. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Would you judge a grown adult for doing so? No; Roman would NEVER allow me to cuddle anything else, and I am not even remotely kidding. I couldn't care less if any adult does, though. Would you rather read an erotic novel or watch an erotic film? Ew, neither, but I guess a book would be better just so my eyes weren't forever scarred. What’s your favorite way to make your home smell good? Do you spend a lot of money on making this happen? INCENSE!!!! God, I love incense burners. I don't light it anymore though because Venus' terrarium is also in my room, and it's not good for snakes. What are the main two colors in the room you’re currently in? Did you pick these colors out yourself? Just... white. That's it. Well, my furniture is brown. I didn't pick either. How often do you wake up in the night needing to pee? Usually once, sometimes not at all anymore. I guess my bladder actually grew a pair. If you live in a household with pets, who is responsible for their care - both in terms of finance and the physical tasks involved? As far as the physical care, me. Mom does help me do a full clean of Venus' cage sometimes, though, because I don't trust myself to both keep her around my neck while I scrub the tank, hide, bowl, etc., with a cat that is my absolute shadow. I don't want to be bent over the tub and Roman tries to do something; he's shown very little interest in Venus, but still, I'm one hell of a paranoid snake mom that doesn't want to risk her life. Full cleans only happen like twice a year, so I don't mind too much asking my mother for some help. I should point out that Mom doesn't want to hold her, so we can't reverse roles. Do you have anything hanging from your ceiling apart from lights? Not anymore, no. At my old house and the one before, I had lots of Pyramid Head gift tags hanging, but our landlord doesn't want me to do that here. Would you describe yourself as neat, messy or somewhere in-between? I'm in-between. If you have pets, when was the last time one of them needed to go the vets? Venus had to go to the vet about a year into me having her because she was showing symptoms of an RI in strange breathing episodes, which can be fatal to a snake. Thank God, nature, whatever, that she didn't. There were warning signs, but closer watch over her humidity saved her. Roman, meanwhile, was taken to the vet like a year ago to be neutered. When the pandemic is over, what is one thing you can’t wait to do again? I barely ever left the house beforehand, so... I guess go to the movies. What’s one thing (aside from essentials) that you spend the most money on each month? Has anyone ever told you you’re obsessed or addicted with it? N/A What’s your favourite genre of TV show to watch? What’s your favourite show that’s not from that genre? If I had to pick, uhhh... yeah, idk, due to the whole "not into TV much to begin with" thing. Would you rather be employed or self-employed? Why? Self-employed, though taking care of all business matters yourself is/would suck. I just really want to be my own boss for the sake of photographing whatever I want. IIs your hair naturally curly, straight or somewhere in between? Do you wish it was different? It's straight, but on the wavy side, and I wish it wasn't. Do you ever play online games with your friends? Which one(s)? Just WoW. In the last week, have you had any alcoholic beverages? Which? No. Do you ever wear accessories in your hair? Which ones? No. Do you feel free to post your views on social media? Yep. I honestly don't care who it pisses off. What is your favorite work of historical fiction? Well, I don't really know what you consider truly "historical" in age... That, and I'm bad at dates to begin with. There are lots and lots of older books and movies I adore, though. Old Yeller is one of my favorite books ever, for one. The Boy In The Striped Pajamas makes me sob, too. What cartoon character looks like you? I remember when Hotel Transylvania came out, my ex's mob pointed out how much she thought I looked like the daughter, especially when my hair was dyed black. Do you have hope for the future? Some days I do, some days I don't. Do you believe in yourself? Ehhhh... debatable, idk. Do you have trouble letting go of your past? Oh yes. Were you happy in high school? It's funny, I was very depressed in HS, but due to Jason and friends, it's one of my most cherished time periods. Were you ever a teacher's favorite? I mean it modestly, but I was almost always pretty obviously one of the teachers' favorites. I was a good student. Are you popular? I wasn't. If you won a title in the senior class polls, what was it? I didn't. Have you ever had a medical condition that made you unable to work? My social anxiety is so debilitating that it's made it questionable. It ruined my very short-lived previous jobs. What makes your life worth living? My future goals, family, friends... What is your favorite Bible verse? I don't have one. List five careers you've considered. Paleontologist, vet, game designer, author, and wildlife biologist are all past ones. Do you have any unusual talents? If so, what? No. What do you get compliments on? My hair and my art, mostly. What have people told you you should be? I've heard "a vet" most in my life. What is holding you back? My (mostly social) anxiety and extreme fear of judgment. Do you have anyone purely evil in your life? Hell no, I wouldn't allow that person to stay in my life. Have you ever felt threatened for your life? I've felt scared for it, yes. While riding my bike once, I ran into a guy in my old neighborhood who had a criminal history, including assault, just asking what I was listening to on my iPod. I stopped because I was scared to keep going, and he wound up asking for my Facebook, but guess who didn't accept THAT friend request. List ten positive words that describe you. That's too much thinking, man. List ten negative words that [you feel] describe you. And that's too much negativity to fish in. Are you a good person or a bad person? I mean, I try to be a good one. Have you ever contemplated being a bad person? I've done bad things, but I've certainly never deliberated tried to be an overall bad person. Have you ever resorted to vandalism because you didn't have a voice? No. Have you ever egged someone's house? Wow, no. Do you want to egg someone's house? Also no because I'm a fucking adult. Have you ever seen a piece of graffiti that you are thankful for? What an odd question. I mean, no? Name three people who hurt you and didn't care. I am quite positive Colleen doesn't care about the many times she did considering she's always right. Was your first crush sexual, or no? No, I was just a kid. What would you do if you got pregnant right now? I honestly can't say I know. If I was God forbid raped, I'd probably have an abortion because I psychologically could not handle that without being scarred for life. If it was by my own stupidity, I feel I'd probably have the baby but give it up for adoption. I just can't raise a kid. Do you have a medical condition that you are embarrassed or ashamed to tell people you have? No, I don't think so. What do you get asked the most? Hm. OH, WAIT, THAT'S EASY. I get asked a lot if my lip piercing hurt. Have you ever stood up for someone else who was being bullied? I know I have before, but I don't remember the occasion. What tragic news stories that you've heard has touched you the most? Man, that's a lot to think about. You see news articles on Facebook all the time, and a whole lot of them touch me, so I dunno. What is your favorite thing to order at Taco Bell? I like the cheese quesadillas, and whatever those cinnamon bites are called are really good. I'm still tilted they got rid of the fiesta potatoes, because I adored those. Where do you have cutting scars (if you have any)? I only ever had them on my wrist, but you can't see them anymore. Do you like cotton candy? Not very, but I mean, I can have a bite or two. It's way too sweet to eat a lot of it. What's the best piece of graffiti you've ever seen? I'm unsure, but I've definitely seen beautiful work, especially online. Do you like tattoos? "Like" is a colossal understatement. Do you like piercings? Yep yep yep. Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something? No. Those are not people I hang around with. Who is the last person you slow-danced with? Slow-danced? I don't think I've done that since Jason.

[pyotatochip]

just like dancing | hyunjin x reader

what’s up losers. this one goes out to @starhhj​ thanks for always hurting me so good <3

just like dancing | hwang hyunjin x gender neutral reader wordcount: 4k inspired by: sidekick by walk the moon summary: meeting up with a photographer for a day of modelling turns into making a maybe forever friend.

ur a model

well. aspiring model.

ur instagram is a buncha pictures that u make ur friends take of you whenever y'all hang out

u have booked a couple photoshoots and submitted them to magazines

u even got published a couple times!!!!

not in anything big, just photography journals and portraiture mags

BUT IT'S SOMETHING!!!!

photoshoots are hella expensive tho fuckin. rip ur wallet

so u join a facebook group, which is something u never thought u would do

the idea was that aspiring photographers and aspiring models would meet up, get experience, and maybe make professional relationships

you? young and cute

all these photographers? 36 yr old dudes

they always invite you to their studios in their houses

to do artsy half nude shoots

so u were pretty unwilling to meet up with most of them

(understandable)

but then this one schmuck posts in the group, just when u so happen to be looking for weekend plans

“looking for a model this saturday, autumn themed shoot at han river. the leaves are really pretty right now, i wanna catch them before too many fall”

han river was a pretty public place, so u DEFINITELY felt safer

and like, ur school is pretty close to there, so ur familiar with the area

u comment “i'm free all day, give me a time and i'll meet you there”

after it posted, you clicked on his profile and

fuck

he was not 36

and he was CUTE

u freaked the fuck out

this kid looked like he was ur age. and he was hot.

should u delete the comment?

why would u do that?

bc ur nervous?

why are u nervous?

bc the photographer is a hottie?

is that really a good excuse?

before u could debate with urself much longer, ur comment received a like and u got a private message

hyunjin: hi! u look great! meet at the main gates of yeouido park at 9am?

“u look great!”

“U LOOK GREAT!”

(jooe sunbaenim is quaking)

screech

you: so early! okay! what kinda look are u going for?

hyunjin: haha i wanna get that fall morning light!!! i’d like it to be pretty autumnal. warm colors, maybe a sweater/scarf/jacket combo? if u have something like that. minimal makeup & hair, if you're into that stuff. hopefully that's all okay (^ム^)

you: sounds good! see you saturday!

you spend the next few days at school literally just thinking about how ur meeting up with a cutie on saturday

u rlly dont know what to do with urself

i show ur friend a pic of him and she's like “HOOYKY FUXKJGN GODJ”

which was basically your initial reaction too

but then shes like “he looks familiar??? is he a model too???”

u have literally no idea but it's completely possible

like, it's a waste to have that face exclusively behind the camera

and suddenly the two of u are like. obsessively going through his instagram bc WHAT THE FUCK he’s like….. REALLY GOOD

like, he does a lot of portraits, but the focus isn't necessarily always the person in the photo

the composition and background are just as important in every shot and it…. shakes u

there’s a few pictures of him too, all of which are v aesthetic

but how could they not be??? have u seen his face????

he also tags literally every person in his pictures whether they’re models or just his friends while they’re hanging out

and he photocreds everyone who takes pics of him!!

you are literally…. fallin’ in love

because he was cute and had a good eye and wrote cute captions and was so humble!!!

ur friend is like “wow we stan a pro”

“he looks seriously familiar tho, right?”

she's like “yeah i'm confused why have i seen his face before”

and ur shook bc like… if u had seen this boy irl there's no way you would forget how cute he is

finally,,, it's the weekend

you get on the train and head to han river early in the morning, dressed up and made up for your ~autumn photoshoot~

as soon as you get to the gates ur like.. holy fuck

it's so pretty

the leaves are a mix of orange and red and green and there's a couple dusting the ground too

no wonder hyunjin wanted to shoot here

ur kinda aimlessly wandering around the gate when u suddenly spot

him

he’s wearing a bomber jacket and has a camera bag over his shoulder

and his neck is literally at a 90° angle while he's looking at his phone

ur like…. that cant be ok

u get a notif while ur walking up to him and its a message from him asking if u were on ur way

“actually, i can't make it”

he looks up and immediately laughs. “hi! y/n?”

u wave. “hi hyunjin!! nice to meet you!!”

y'all exchange pleasantries and he's suddenly like

“your outfit is literally perfect” he steps back to look at u. “exactly what i had in mind”

u put up a peace sign. he laughs again.

uh oh

u really like his laugh

and his smile

and his everything

uh oh

he leads you further into the park where there's less people and more trees

“i brought another jacket and a couple of scarves in case u wanted something different” u say as he's helping you take off ur backpack

“oooooo a professional”

“not even”

he asks you if he can take a boomerang of u for his instagram story and u do a lil twirl

he gasps

“that was cute!!!!”

he giggles while he's posting it

what is with this kid and his giggles

u cant

if he keeps doin it at this rate, it'll probably be the death of u 

which is

cool

he puts your backpack on and pulls his camera out of his bag. “let's take some pics in this outfit and then i'll peek at the other options. i like this look a lot”

and then… he just starts taking pictures

u literally laugh

“where do you want me?”

“wherever,” he goes, checking the pics real fast. “i tend to go for candid shots”

suddenly,,, his entire instagram flashes in your brain

the pictures of people laughing and mid walk and reading books

u thought all the models were just. really comfy and professionals and shit

IT WAS ALL A LIE

“so uhhh…” u literally dont know what to do

u have Never done a shoot Like This

“just walk,” he said. “look around. i'll follow”

you: no fear

hyunjin: just walk

you: one fear

u nervously laugh again and he's hitting his shutter like A MILLION TIMES A SECOND

“okay…… i guess i'll walk then”

u push his shoulder while u walk past him bc he's cheesin at u way too hard for u to handle

“ow”

“that didn't hurt”

“it hurt my heart :(“

ur walking backwards and laughing and he's just. only looking at you through his camera.

so. u wander.

u take a lovely morning walk down the pretty paths at han river

u really were so scared that u would be completely directionless, but hyunjin ends up asking you to do specific things also

“go up on those rocks”

“i'm literally wearing slippery ass boots do you want me to die”

“do it for the shot, y/n”

sIGHHHHHH

so ur up on some rocks trying not to fall into a fucking river

and when hyunjin shows u the pics he takes….

okay

yeah

he was right

the entire time he was shooting, he would just strike up conversation to make you comfy

asking how long you've been pursuing modelling

if u wanna do it as a career or if its just a hobby

about ur family

about ur pets

(he asks a lot about pets)

ur sitting on a bench and he's crouched a few feet away to get those ~angles~ when he asks

“where do u go to school?”

“kyunggi”

hyunjin gasps. “no way! me too!”

you fuckin ALMOST DIE

because u fuckin brainblast and have a recovered memory of seeing hyunjin In Your School's Uniform in the lunchroom and suddenly IT ALL MAKES SENSE

you hop up from the bench and like. YELL.

“OKAY I THOUGHT YOU LOOKED REALLY FAMILIAR ARE YOU KIDDING”

he stands and literally screams and u are. so shocked. “i thought you looked really familiar too!!!! i figured i just had seen your pics on the facebook group!!!! i highkey stalked ur instagram bc i couldn't figure out where i knew you from!!”

okay, wig

he stalked you also which is….. great

“what year are you???”

“i'm a junior!”

you push him.

“boi what the fuck! me too!”

“no way!!!” he's laughing “that's crazy!”

he literally pulls out his phone and opens instagram

u have never seen a person use instagram stories as much as this bitch

like, he intermittently pulls out his phone to get shots for his story

u almost threw hands when u were sliding around on some stupid wet rocks bc he was like “JUMP AGAIN I NEED IT FOR A BOOMERANG”

he does this cute lil hair flip and adjusts his bangs before he starts recording and u…. kinda wanna cry

“I KNEW Y/N LOOKED FAMILIAR”

he spins so ur in the shot with him and puts his arm over your shoulders

“WE'RE LITERALLY IN THE SAME YEAR AT THE SAME SCHOOL”

u laugh out loud

he laughs with you and u have to cover ur mouth so an uwu doesn't fall out

u try not to focus on his literally perfect eye smile as he hunches over his phone to post to his story

like,,,

those crescents

are so cute

and he has this lingering grin every time he laughs

and like. wow. lips. amirite. ladies and gents.

“i cant believe u go to kyunggi,” u say. bc u cant.

“what are the odds. out of all the people in that group, we end up meeting up”

u almost made a joke about it being destiny but then u were like oo no thats creepy dont say that

then hyunjins gasps

and u look at him

and he just looks at you wide eyed

and fucking

whispers

“destiny”

you scream laugh

he's laughing too

but on a real level ur like why would that have been super creepy if u said it but it was cute as hell (and a little heart fluttery) when he did?

he goes on saying it's crazy that you had never had any classes together over the years

“or any clubs,” u said

“yeah!!! what clubs do you do??”

“photography! which is why i'm shocked!!!”

hyunjin gasps again

wtf is up with this boy and his gasps

“i was gonna do photography but they meet the same days as dance!”

BITCH

WHAT THE FUCK

“I DONT DO DANCE BC THEY MEET THE SAME DAYS AS PHOTOGRAPHY”

his entire jaw drops off his damn face

“YOU DANCE TOO?”

“I’M JUST AS SHOCKED AS YOU ARE”

u literally can't believe

“we've been barely missing each other all this time when we could have been best friends :(“

oh ow

ouch hyunjin

that got u right in ur weak heart

like literally u might have a heart condition now bc he just hit u with the “we could have been best friends”

“sorry i already have a best friend”

DGDGSH WHY DID YOU SAY THAT

then he's laughing and ur like… oh fuck wheew

“well, sorry, i'm replacing them now. we have to catch up on lost time.”

and honestly………. he's right

number 1: y'all are both photography nerds

even tho you have begun to skew on the modelling side of it, u always loved taking pictures of scenery and u knew way too much about how cameras worked

and hyunjin really was like a pro

u had watched him adjust settings on his camera for white balance and exposure and everything

and judging by his instagram, he set himself up for some flawless editing too

number 2: y'all are both dance nerds

he tells u basically all his friends are in the dance club and have formed a lil dance crew bc of it

u say u used to take classes when u were younger but now u just go to the gym and hide in a practice room for a few hours every week

he does hip hop! which is so predictable but u still act all surprised

u tell him u used to do ballet but ur much more into urban dance these days

number 3: y'all both don't know how to stop laughing

like literally if either of you do anything remotely funny the other one is fucked for five minutes

ur pretty sure 90% of the pics hyunjin was taking were of you covering your face because ur literally GUFFAWING

and like, y'all ain't even that funny

but the more you laugh the less funny shit has to be for you to be crying

hyunjin told u to stop making him laugh bc his fingers were getting weak and he didnt wanna drop his camera

you, trying not to giggle: its ok u have a strap around ur neck u can drop it

hyunjin, tears flowing freely: PLEASE LET ME BREATHE

number 4: y'all both LOVE UR PETS

like idk man he tells u about kkami and u freak the fuck out because he's just SO EXCITED ABT HIS PUP

and hyunjin almost ditches u right then n there when u say ur more of a cat person BUT he forgives u because ur cat is literally named hot dog

this is highkey the most fun you've ever had on a shoot

like, you feel so comfortable with hyunjin

and every time you take breaks to peek at the pictures he's been taking

u like … literally stop breathing

he's so talented ;;

you eventually swap jackets and scarves and wander around more

and literal hours later hyunjin's like

“are u hungry”

u stare. “always”

he laughs. “do you wanna go to the convenience store and make ramen”

“i thought you'd never ask”

so y'all go to the conbini and pick out ya fave ramen packets

(and some chips and candy bc u have literally no self control)

hyunjin really tries to buy your food for you but you yell at him while ur checking out bc Boi. No.

the cashier: watched the two of you look at food and bump into each other constantly, touching each others arms and giggling the whole time

you: leave me the fuck alone hwang hyunjin or i'm calling the cops!!!

the cashier: ????????

u make ur ramen at the handy dandy hot water dispenser and carefully bring it back to a seating area in the park

“be careful it's hot!!!”

“hyunjin please, u act like i'm not a ramen pro”

“i just didnt want u to burn ur cute lil mouth, damn”

ur entire being goes WEE WOO WEE WOO

u literally almost choke on nothing and you just cough to try to play it off

hyunjin is having none of it

he's laughing his ass off

“wow that got you better than i expected”

“fuck off hwang”

he stands up to leave and u laugh and grab his sleeve

he's giggling before he even sits again

y'all eat ur ramen and chat more about school and hobbies

he tells u about this one time he almost got admitted into a cult

you: wow��� pretty AND dumb

hyunjin, flustered: h-hey!

you tell him about how your cat is a rescue and his heart melts

there's a minute where you're staring at nothing in the distance eating chips

and hyunjin is just staring at you

his brain: hoe dont do it

his heart: doki doki

his brain: oh my god

“hey… are you still free all day?”

u look at him. “yeah, why?”

he opens a bag of gummies. “i'm supposed to meet up with some friends to go bowling in like an hour but i wanna keep hanging out. wanna come?”

you groan. “i'm so bad at bowling”

“we can be on a team,” he offers you a gummy bear and you take it. “i'll carry you.”

pls explain why an image of him holding you bridal style popped into ur head sgdhhf

“haha okay. as long as ur friends aren't lame.”

“they are, but i'll be there so it's fine”

“fair enough. i'm in.”

so y'all hop on a bus and head to the bowling alley that (apparently) hyunjin and his buddies frequent

(he's playing pickles with you in the back of the bus and you're giggling so hard that ur struggling to tell him to cut it the fuck out so you don't disturb the people sitting next to you)

((but also feeling his entire body press against you isn't the worst))

you've been to this bowling alley before

it's popular among younger folks because it's cheap lol

the two of you walk in and one of his friends immediately starts yelling

u freeze “dude i thought u said we were gonna be early”

he looked at his phone “we literally are”

this blonde kid is yelling hyunjin's name and ur wide eyed while u follow

“UR LATE”

“I'M NOT”

“IT'S 2:20”

“WE SAID 2:30!!!”

“TELL THAT TO LITERALLY EVERYONE WHO SHOWED UP AT TWO!!!!!”

hyunjin looks over to the group of his friends already bowling a game “oh”

u bust out laughing

hyunjin gets all flustered like “i-i thought it was 2:30!!!”

“who's ur friend, my perpetually late son”

“o-oh,,, this is y/n”

his friend sticks out his hand for you to shake. “hi, i'm chan. were you the model today?”

you grin “are you saying i look like a model?”

“OKAY!” hyunjin grabs your shoulders and you giggle when chan stutters without responding while hyunjin drags you to the counter to rent shoes and pay for a game

hyunjin is: flustered

he's all embarrassed because he was late and got yelled at by his fake dad

and then u went and,,,, u were so smooth with chan

he wondered if you had been flirting with him all morning because you actually liked him or,,, ur just a flirt

he grabbed your wallet out of your hand and shoved it in his pocket so that he could pay for your shoes and game for you.

“hyunjin!!!!!”

“you wouldn't let me buy you food and you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me if you argue i swear i'll throw you down a lane”

you pout but you let him pay

and ur heart,,, it goes off, dude

like,,,, maybe,,,,,,, u would let him throw you sgdgshsh

y'all walk over to the lane his friends are on, bowling shoes in hand

“y/n!”

your face lights tf up. “seungmin!!”

hyunjin looks between the two of you probably six times while you hug before finally going “w-what”

you and seungmin look at each other, then at hyunjin

hyunjin: you know each other

you and seungmin, in sync: photography club

hyunjin: alright, well,

he announces to everyone your name and you were his new best friend and that if any of them had a problem with it they could talk to his fist

you, softly, but with feeling: f-fuck

y'all change your shoes and watch as his friends finish up their game

while they play, hyunjin points each person out and tells you their name, helping you learn all these new people

since u guys were twenty (20) minutes late, they were already almost done with the first game

they were all pretty good. 

well. most of them were.

the guy hyunjin pointed out as jisung kept getting gutter, but he was having fun

everyone else kept getting strikes or spares and u were like oh god

you keep telling hyunjin that ur really bad at bowling

hyunjin: i'll teach you. it'll be like ghost.

you, softly, but with more feeling: f-fUck

you, realization washing over you: wait how would you even-

hyunjin: *giggles*

hyunjin's giggles.

send tweet.

the entire time you were entirely too conscious of how close he was to you

you could feel the burning on your shoulder, thigh, knee - all the contact points where his body bumped into yours

your knee bobbed involuntarily while you watched the game end, nervously anticipating your turn to hit the gutter

and suddenly, hyunjin's hand was gently placed on your knee

it stopped bobbing

you looked at his hand, then at him

he smiled, but kept looking forward

“relax. even if you're bad, i'll hype you up.”

it was barely above a whisper so you wondered for a sec if he was even talking to you

hhhhHHHHH THIS BOY

yall start bowling.

he was. not all talk.

like who the fuck is good at bowling

hyunjin, apparently

he fuckin. chucked that ball down the lane

it made a smooth curve and took out. every. pin.

you stared at the empty lane in disbelief as hyunjin got a couple high fives from his friends making his way towards you

"not bad, right?"

"bro what the fuck"

he laughed and held out a hand to help you up "we bowl a lot"

you didnt even process fully that he was pulling you out of your seat because it was your turn. 

ur hands: sweaty

ur arms: spaghetti

ur vomit: on ur sweater already

not actually

u picked up the ball hyunjin had helped you pick and looked at him like a deer in headlights

"bro i havent bowled since i was six"

he giggled. "you can do this"

he walked with u and showed you his starting stance, gently adjusting the way your wrists twisted and patting your hip

u. tried to not blush. no word on how well you did.

he guided you through your walk up and when u let go of the ball..

…

……

YOU DIDNT HIT GUTTER

you SCREAMED 

"BRO I HIT A PIN!!!!!!!!!!!!"

hyunjin gave you a Sick High Ten, laughing "now you gotta hit the other nine!"

you froze

fuck

the others were starting to calm down from the excitement of your first half-frame, anticipating your second hit

you watched your ball return from the lane n went over to grab it

hyunjin looked at you Once and was likr….. is that caspar the ghost

the color had DRAINED from you

u…. u hit a pin…… thats like the best u've ever done

n now you gotta TOP THAT?

"its like dancing," he said suddenly. u looked at him, desperate to hear advice in terms u understood. "even if you can go through the motions, it doesnt necessarily make you good. you have to trust your body to remember the motions, give it a little finesse, and that's when you start to get Really good."

you blinked at him

"was that supposed to be helpful"

"can you Shut the Fuck Up and Bowl"

you took a deep breath, adjusting your stance as hyunjin reminded you of the steps you needed to take

another breath

steps

swing

let go…..

roollllingngg…………

*HIGH PITCHED WAILING*

"I HIT FOUR PINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

hyunjin scoops u up in a hug, spinning you around

ur too busy SCREAMING to register whats happening until he puts you down

u stare at him a second

he stares at you

"GOOD JOB Y/N!!!!!"

you turn to seungmin, who also scoops you into a hug, the rest of the boys crowding around you

you didnt even have a chance to be embarrassed about the weird eye contact you n hyunjin made

or about how. everyone in the bowling alley was staring at you guys.

because like…… suddenly

you just made a bunch of new friends

and one of them

helped you hit a pin for the first time.

and maybe….

he was still holding your hand

and maybe that felt really nice.

[unnacessary]

for the ler truths - 3, 5, 8, 9, and 11 and dares 1, 4, and 7 :D

Truths:

3. What is your personal biggest tickle themed fantasy?

I have many, just look at all my reblogs lmao… but honestly? the best thing would just be casual, cuddly tickles with someone I trust and I’m close with, one of those scenarios that make me feel warm and fuzzy inside

5. Do you prefer a lee to be restrained? To what degree?

I think that would be up to the lee, but yeah, I guess trying to restrain a squirming lee would come natural to me, like pinning them down with my body lol. bondage with ropes or handcuffs is an idea that appeals to me a lot as well, though, so it would definitely be something I’d try if they wanted to.

8. What is your first memory that made you realize you like tickling?

I guess I’ve been into it since forever? I remember feeling flustered and weird every time I read or saw a tickling scene on TV or in a comic book, ever since I was a little kid.

9. Have you ever tickled someone? Was it just a little squeeze to the side or an actual session?

I never had a session unfortunately 💔 but I tickle my close friends all the time and I’ve had a lot of fun tickle fights (which I usually win bc I go after v ticklish people lol)

11. Do you ever find yourself wanting to be tickled? Or do you feel 100% as a ler?

I don’t really like to be tickled for long moments and I don’t like to be touched in certain places (especially if I don’t know you well enough to trust you) so, idk. tickle fights with close friends are nice so I don’t mind getting a few pokes/squeezes etc. in those cases, but I would probably not react well if I’m pushed too much lmao

—

Dares:

1. I dare you to post your personal way of teasing. Audio, text post, the choice is yours

Is this post enough?

4. I dare you to post/reblog a picture or video that best shows what your dream session looks like

Uhhh this isn’t easy, I’m just gonna link a few pics that I like I guess??

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | (sorry they’re mostly like… fanarts or furry stuff lmao)

also this whole post is goals // ….and this would be so useful for long distance stuff lmaoo

7. I dare you to tag a lee that you want to tickle.

fuck tumblr ate this part the last time I posted lmao anyway I had tagged @hellobuds and @wigglywormy bc yeah

[akiyamapining]

So, after talkin with @ebonystar about my brain being a douche nozzle and my terror over posting a fic overriding most of my bravery (*points* Ya’ll saw it), I’ve decided Imma explain the AU my fic is based in FIRST then go from there, if my terror doesn’t override me first. It’s One Piece, it’s highly self-indulgant with my shippings, and it’s a wild read from start to finish because when I write using my mobile notepad my stories are confusing messes. Ready? Here we go, I guess!

One question before we start, HOW IN THE NAME OF ONE PIECE DO YOU MAKE A “UNDER THE CUT” OR READ MORE THING ON MOBILE??? OR ONE IN GENERAL??? Until I learn how to make one, this shall act as a Read More. Lmfao. I’m so unprepared for Tumblr and I’ve been here since 2014 😂😂

Anyway

It’s called Card Royals. Hear me out.

I basically got inspiration for it from the Tarrot Gods AU that @justm3h made (GO PAY ATTENTION TO THEM, THEY MAKE REALLY GREAT ART AND THEIR TARROT GODS AU IS BEAUTIFUL AND TEARING HOLES IN MY HEART… MOSTLY GOOD HOLES!! PLEASE IGNORE MY GUSHING IT’S EMBERASSING, PLZ IGNORE ME LMFAO 😂😂). In short, there’s BASICALLY a walking, talking deck of cards out there on the seas. Stress filled generational thing and what not…. I guess…

Okay okay so like uhhh… god I am so bad at this.

We of course, have the four suits, each with a king and a queen, and ten underlings. There ARE three Jokers as well, cuz once every like 300-400 years the deck no longer respresents a standardized deck and an extra Joker is crowned, they are the antagonists of the AU, and are all absolute ASSHOLES, I KNOW EXACTLY WHO THEY FUCKING ARE!

The Jokers are ALWAYS assholes. It’s written history, there’s a big book. Absolute chaos. They are controlling asshats who want to capture the Card Royals and use their abilities/powers/magic/whatever to meld the world in their image. They’re insane. No I’m not saying who they are.

Card Royals can always tell each other apart from normal people. Their eyes are one way, as their pupils are shaped like the suit they represent. The royals of Diamonds have diamond shaped pupils. The royals of Hearts have heart shaped pupils. So on and so forth. Each Card Royal is also identified by a locket. Kings have their suit and a kingly crown, and Queens have their suit and a crown more fit for a queen. Normal people have a very hard time noticing these differences, it’s nearly impossible to notice it unless you know what you are looking for, which no one EVER does. The Card Royals are nothing but tall tales told children as a bed time story.

Later on in the AU, in the eyes of the normal populous, the Diamonds, Hearts, and Spades sided with evil (Pirates), while Clubs sided with good (Marines).

But a Joker is in control of the so called “Good Side”. And the Clubs REFUSE to be controlled. They represent justice, true justice, MORAL JUSTICE, and won’t bend to the Joker’s whims. That and the Queen of Hearts is the Queen of Club’s best friend.

Eat your heart out, Joker bitch.

Anyway, when I said that the titles are generational I’m like pretty wrong about that. There is never a period of time when the world is without a royal from a specific suit.

How do I explain this… uhh…

Well, for example, when one royal from a suit dies/is killed/whatever, the rest of the suit has their titles revoked and the suit is reset. None of the suits are the same age. In my AU, the current Diamond Royals are the oldest of the other eight royals, and the Club Royals are the youngest. After the first Card Royals, there WAS a set of royals that were all the same age, but that was first recorded in the BIG BOOK OF CARD HISTORY (it’s not actually called that, IDK what it’s called but it exists and it’s fuckin magical) eighteen years after the World Government formed. That was also recorded in the book. The book knows all.

Again, this AU is terrifyingly self indulgent. Like, I swear.

While I can’t say much on who the royals are, I will say this: Ace is the King of Spades.

For reasons.

I was originally going to make him the Ace of Spades because that would have been HILARIOUS but decided against it.

The Royals both have what is basiaclly an advisor. The Queen’s is their Ace and the King’s is their Ten.

That one is still a work in progress though but the Ace and Queen thing is set in stone…

Like, the higher ups in the World Government (Vice Admiral and up) know the Card Royals exist. And Sengoku only knows who three of them are.

No Sengoku is not a Joker. I bet you all know who one of ‘em is. I BET YOU DO THERE WAS A PRETTY BIG HINT A LIL WAYS BACK.

“SO, THEIR POWERS” I HEAR YOU ASK, “YOU SAID THAT THE JOKERS WANT TO USE THEM TO MOLD THE WORLD IN THEIR IMAGE SO THAT MEANS THEY HAVE POWERS!”

Hold ya horses I’m gettin there.

The Card Royals all have powers that depend upon their Suits. Diamonds are aligned with courage and the earth. Therefore, they are basically earth benders. Hearts are aligned with water, love (OBVIOUSLY), and the energy of life. They are basically water benders. See where this is goin? Spades are aligned with air and action/war/vigilance/whatever and the energy of death. Clubs align with fire and darkness. I’m still tryin to figure the darkness bit out completely, that one’s got me kerbobbled. I’m also trying to figure out what energies the Diamonds and the Clubs align with. It’s aaaalllll one big work in progress.

Basically, if a Joker can capture and force the suits to pool together their power over energies, the Joker can use that to change the world as they see fit. But at the cost of the lives of the Royals and the Jokers own titles. Each generation of Joker wants to change the world this way. There are rarely any outliers. The only one that was an outlier didn’t get to live long. The title Joker will get what it wants eventually, even if it has to kill off it’s own bearers.

Still with me?? Good!

At least once in each royal’s lifetime, there is a meeting. Each suit is expected to attend. Remember the Book?? Yeah it decides the date and location of the meeting and somehow gets the details to each royal like six years in advance. The book is magic and sentient guys don’t judge it.

During the story, the meeting is to happen in three years, and each royal HAS to make it to the meeting place without being caught by any of the Jokers, as each Joker has a specific royal(s) they have targeted. Lotsa stress guys, lotsa stress.

And thas all I got!

Honestly, like 80% of it is all a WiP. But I’m high key proud of it. It’s my bby. I even doodled a logo, but that’s a WiP too. It’s cute tho. Gotta find a pic of that soon.

Hope this is interesting! I’ve been working with it for like a month now, and I only hope to keep world-building! Any suggestions about my AU are welcome, btw!

This was your friendly neighborhood crow, currently fighting off a major spout of anxiety with warm tea as I post this, hoping everyone has a good night! Bless you people who decided to read this through!

[spideyydarling]

Peter Parker x Reader

Request: 5 and 95 for the prompts please! With either Tom or Peter, I like both. GO FOR IT JORD! YOU CAN DO ITTTTTT!!!!** **

Prompt: 5. “I'm not here to make friends” 

           95. “I think i'm in love with you, and that scares the crap outta me”

Word count: 2116

A/N: this is my first ever fic I've posted, so sorry its really bad. thanks kaiti ( @lil-spidey ) for helping me choose and the beautiful spiderjizz cult who i love SO FUCKING MUCH and the girls in it who  inspired and encouraged me to start writing. 

It was your first day at your new school, all you wanted was to get through the day completely unnoticed, but, there was the undeniable fact that you were the newbie, you were bound to be noticed. First period had proved you right, you were late because you couldn't find your class, so when you stumbled in through the door all eyes were on you.

“Ahh, this must be (y/n),” the teacher boomed. You kept your head down, eyes darting back and forth between your hands and your feet, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. “Okay class, this is (y/n), uhhhh,”the teacher looked at you with eyebrows raised, motioning for you to clarify your next name.

“(y/l/n),” you managed to mumble, so distinct only the teacher heard.

“Alright, (y/n) (y/l/n), you can take the empty seat right there,” pointing to the last chair on the second row, you followed the teachers directions. You shifted from your position, and situated yourself in your new seat.

“Psst,” you looked to the left and locked eyes with the most gorgeous brown orbs you had ever seen, the boy himself was quite the looker. You couldn't help but smirk, the boy next to you was so cute!

“Hi, I uh, I-I’m Peter, Peter Parker,” he put a hand out, you looked down at it, then decided to take it giving it two quick shakes. “Hehe, um, (y/n) right?” dropping your hand and picking your pen up, you hesitantly answered.

“Yeah, im new.” idiot, you thought, why would you say that? Of course he knows your new, look at the way you tripped into the classroom!

“Oh yeah, did you move here recently?”

“yeah, Queens, in this little apartment block with my mum.” okay then, give him your social security number too why don't you

“Hey! I live in Queens too!” Peter said a little too enthusiastically.

“Shush Peter,” the teacher yelled in our direction, luckily though, no one seemed to really notice you, only Peter.

“S-sorry sir,” Peter stuttered.

“God, Penis Parker, s-s-stop s-s-stuttering,” a rude boy (whom you soon found out was named Flash Thompson, school bully, but mostly a bully to Peter) announced from across the classroom, which sent  the class into a quiet fit of laughter. Peter's face went scarlett. After the class had settled, he whispered back into your direction.

“So, why did you come to this school? New friends? Or-”

“I'm not here to make friends,” you cut him off abruptly. Just as he was about to respond, the bell went, signalling next period, but peter continued to make conversation while you both packed your things up.

“Well, uh, what’re you here for then?” he questioned, placing his book in his bag.

“To graduate.” you told him.

“Well, we’re all here to graduate, anyway, what do you have next?”

“I have..umm..” you checked your timetable biting your lip in concentration, knowing little that the boy was watching you intently, hoping you had the same class so he could talk to you more, he had never seen someone so beautiful, he was adoring you. “I have english.” peter grabbed your timetable off you and scanned it.

“Hey look!” he looked up with an ecstatic smile plastered on his face, “we have the same classes!” you couldn't help but grin back at him, his smile was contagious, and his eyes were sparkling. Peter Parker, you thought, maybe it would be good to have a friend while i'm here.

“Okay (y/n), uhhh, seems like everyone else is gone, maybe we should too,” he gave your timetable back to you and slung his bag over one shoulder. You watched him as he headed over to the door, mesmerised by the boy, for some reason you couldn't shake the feeling that a zoo had just landed in your stomach. “Well, uh, l-ladies first,” he gestured towards the door with a nervous chuckle, putting a hand to the back of his neck.

“Uh, yeah, thank you,” you walked over and flickered your eyes to his, seeing that he was staring at you. A rose colour creeped its way into your cheeks as you walked through the door.

It was your second week at your new school and you and Peter had gotten close quickly. He introduced his friends to you, Ned and Michelle. Michelle and you ot on really well, too.

Ned was great, funny and made Peter laugh a lot, which in turn, made you smile.

“So, like, what happened to Liz dude, you haven't talked about her once since (y/n) came to the school.” MJ said at lunch, whilst snacking on a floppy chip. You knew of Liz, you had PE with her, you guys had never really talked, but you knew she was gorgeous and really, really sweet. Peter looked at you straight in the eye before looking back down at his food.

“W-w-what are you talking about, Michelle, what do you mean what happened to Liz? I-i-i don't know.” you couldn't see his face, but you were certain it was not its normal colour.

“Yeah man, what ever happened to her?” Ned inquired. You leaned towards Michelle, who was seated next to you.

“What’s this about Liz?” you whispered to her.

“Oh, that loser,” she nodded to Peter's direction, where he and Ned were having a private conversation of their own, “is, well i guess used to be, obsessed with her, made googly eyes at her everyday, drooled and everything. Eh, who cares anyway, not me at least, it's good not hearing all the pining over her anymore.” and at that, she continued eating, the conversation clearly being over. Looking over at Peter and Ned, you saw that Ned’s expression was a mix of understanding and glee, you wondered what they had been talking about.

“Oh my god dude! How did i not realise this earlier!” Ned exclaimed

“Shhhh Ned, please, don't tell anyone, especially not (y/n),” Peter hushed.

“Don't tell me what?” you looked at Peter, then locked eyes with Ned, giving him a glare telling him c’mon Ned, tell me, but he just looked at Peter and told you,

“Nothing, we didn't even say your name??” Peter looked at you with longing in his eyes. What weren't they telling you? Why couldn't Ned tell me, especially? You’d just have to get Ned alone.

“Ned! Wait up!” you jogged your way over to his locker, where he was putting his books away. It was the end of the day so you were pretty sure Peter wouldn’t be around, he always disappeared around this time.

“Whats up, (y/n)?” Ned asked you. This was your chance.

“Ned you gotta tell me, please??” you pleaded him.

“Uhhh, tell you what? I know nothing,” Ned darted his eyes to look anywhere but at you.

“Ned, please.” you managed to make contact with his eyes, you knew he would tell you now, you had your puppy face on.

“Okay, fine. You can not, i repeat, CAN NOT EVER, let Peter know i told you.”

“Okay” you promised, fingers crossed behind you back, just in case, you know, for luck, or whatever.

“He really reeeaaalllyyy likes you (y/n), i don’t know how i missed it, its soo obvious. I have a feeling you really like him too, huh.” your face was no doubt red, giving away all hope of hiding the fact that you really did like him too, a lot. “See, i knew it. I think you guys need to talk, about stuff. Anyway, i'm going home, i just got a lego death star”

“Yeah, uh, send me a pic when you finish it,” you breathed out. You stood stock still in shock. Peter liked you? Omg, omgomgomg, Peter Parker likes me back, you thought, a smile stretching across your face. You got home s quickly as possible, sprinting past your mum. Once you got to your room you jumped up and down and squealed out in glee. You got your phone out of your pocket and texted Peter.

Hey, Peter, can you meet me?

No more than a minute later, your phone buzzed

Yeah, of course! Ill be at the park in 10!

You grabbed an apple on your way out of the house and walked down to the park, it usually took you about a 15 minute walk, but you got there in 8 due to the fact you were running from unending energy, a newfound mix of happiness and nervousness in your stomach fluttered around. Peter wasn't there just yet, so you plotted yourself onto a bench awaiting his arrival. You were restless, to say the least. Your mind couldn't stop thinking of Peter. You'd only known him two weeks, but your heart wouldn't stop chasing your stomach every time you saw him. Lost in your thoughts, you hadn't even realised when Peter walked up to you, not until you felt the weight shift on the bench. Your eyes searched the chocolatey ones gazing down at you.

“Hey, (y/n), what’s up?” Peter could sense the edginess pouring out of you, “is everything okay (y/n), tell me, you know you can tell me right? I'm here for you, just, uhh, just let it out.” he shifted his body to face more towards you.

“nothing is wrong Peter, matter of fact, i think things are pretty good,just uh, well, do you-umm-well how do you feel,” you took in a shaky breath, not being able to word the sentece correctly, “i just need you to be honest, Peter, okay??” Peter nodded slowly confused by what you were saying. “Do you like me?”

“Of course i like you, (y/n), you're my friend, a really good frie-”

“No, Peter. That's not what i mean.” you looked down at your palms, tracing the lines in them with your eyes. Peter's face was scrunched up in confusion, not understanding.

“Oh,” Peter mumbled after a few moments, realising what you really meant. He put a finger under your chin, leading your face to his direction. He moved his hand to softly cup your face, while he peered into your eyes lovingly. Dropping his hand into yours he said, “(y/n), i-i do, i r-really really do like you. In fact, i think im falling in love with you, and that scares the crap outta me,” your heart stopped with the realisation of what was happening in that moment.

Peter jerked his eyes between your lips and eyes, slowly moving forward. You stared at his soft, sculpted lips, also, inching forward, until finally you both met. The kiss was soft, short but sweet. You twirled your fingers through his hair and kissed him again, more profound this time, less hesitant. He cupped your face before he pulled away.

“I think i'm falling in love with you too, Peter Parker,” you murmured.

He had a grin from ear to ear. Diving in for another kiss, you were interrupted by vibration in your pocket. Your phone displayed the following words:

New picture message from Ned

“Its from Ned,” you say, unlocking your phone. Both you and peter untangle from each other and stare down at the screen.

(y/n) I FINISHED IT!! Look! Btw if ur with Peter tell him i had a bunch of fun making it without him! :((

It was a picture of the Lego death star, you smiled up at Peter and tilted your phone so he had a better view.

“Whoa! Thats heaps cool, wait a second, what does he mean by ‘if you're with Peter’? Oh god, he didn't tell you, did he?” you diverted your eyes from him.

“Uhhh, no, of course not,” you lied

“Ugh, Ned!” Peter groaned

“Hey, good thing he did tell me, you never would have told me your feelings otherwise,” you laughed with Peter.

“Yeah, i guess im pretty lucky,” he smiled at you.

Dude that looks so good! Peter said he loves uuu!

Placing your phone back into your pocket, you looked back up at Peter.

“Anyway, where were we?” you grinned, placing another kiss onto his lips.

[sigma-enigma]

This is how we’ll remember Rattles

Shrine-Today at 4:54 PM

Still waiting for him to get back

Valithor-Today at 4:54 PM

SO HE IS PRAGNANT?#SPOILERS

Shrine-Today at 4:54 PM

If so it's a miracle babySome one link the gregnant thing plz

Acro-Today at 4:55 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EShUeudtaFg

YouTube

J.T. Sexkik

how is prangent formed

Shrine-Today at 4:55 PM

Val needs to seeWatch that val

Valithor-Today at 4:56 PM

That's what I was referencing

Funniest video everYahoo answers is the shit(edited)

Acro-Today at 4:57 PM

the best thing is going through and looking at the categories some of these questions were posted inwhich include fashionand computers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4WXTCFVITk

Valithor-Today at 4:57 PM

computers -> Pregnnant

NONONOOMGTHEY COMBINED THISDIES

Acro-Today at 4:58 PM

also that reminds me I got followed by someone on dA today that ships Sans and Rose Quartz and it's actually pretty decent art

Valithor-Today at 4:58 PM

PREGANANANT

Rattlecat-Today at 4:58 PM

Again they couldn't find my right ovary

Valithor-Today at 4:58 PM

How does that even work

Acro-Today at 4:58 PM

ovaries like to run around

Valithor-Today at 4:58 PM

https://giphy.com/gifs/ovaries-qTG7yUisvl7na

My demonic goat head says otherwise(edited)

Shrine-Today at 4:59 PM

I think rattles left ovary voted his right one

Rattlecat-Today at 4:59 PM

It was a vaginal ultrasound

Shrine-Today at 4:59 PM

Vored

Valithor-Today at 4:59 PM

omnomnom

Rattlecat-Today at 4:59 PM

And for the past two they can't find the right ovary well

Valithor-Today at 5:00 PM

Maybe they need to inception

Rattlecat-Today at 5:00 PM

It's probably the only shy thing in my body

Valithor-Today at 5:00 PM

I'll take that as a promise

Shrine-Today at 5:00 PM

It leaveYou shat it out when you had c diff

Acro-Today at 5:01 PM

it's going "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE"

Valithor-Today at 5:01 PM

LOLLil shit ran away

Rattlecat-Today at 5:01 PM

Lol shrine thinks it got eaten

Valithor-Today at 5:01 PM

Maybe Shrine ate itOM NOM NOM

Shrine-Today at 5:02 PM

Kali ma

Rattlecat-Today at 5:02 PM

Lol shrine thinks it got eaten

Valithor-Today at 5:02 PM

https://giphy.com/gifs/indiana-jones-and-the-temple-of-doom-7XmTfrrPruuJ2

Shrine-Today at 5:02 PM

I ripped it, still twitching from rattles gut

Rattlecat-Today at 5:02 PM

Bakuphone is jealous if present mic

Acro-Today at 5:02 PM

isn't that what happened in Twilight

Valithor-Today at 5:02 PM

Pretty sure that was a placenta

Rattlecat-Today at 5:03 PM

Chaz sent a bunch of mic pics and they won't load

Acro-Today at 5:03 PM

something equally bullshit

Valithor-Today at 5:03 PM

I refuse to ever watch twilightYou can't make me

Rattlecat-Today at 5:03 PM

I enjoy the books

Valithor-Today at 5:03 PM

But I have seen vampire academy

Acro-Today at 5:03 PM

my mom read the books and watched the movies and I fucking hated every second

Shrine-Today at 5:03 PM

Watch the commentaryThe guy who plays Edward Cullen hates it so much

Acro-Today at 5:03 PM

when the first one was hot I was in school and they took my high school class into the library to "present" it because Stephanie Meyers was from our general areaand I am not kidding

Valithor-Today at 5:04 PM

XD

Acro-Today at 5:04 PM

when she described Edward and Co. and had us guess what they wereI was like"ANDROIDS"

Starson-Today at 5:04 PM

lays on the ground

Acro-Today at 5:04 PM

not out loud

Starson-Today at 5:04 PM

I'm home

Valithor-Today at 5:04 PM

LOLOL

Acro-Today at 5:04 PM

but

Valithor-Today at 5:04 PM

I would have said Androids too

Acro-Today at 5:04 PM

and then when they said Bella was average I pictured her as overweight

Valithor-Today at 5:04 PM

They just look lifeless(edited)

Acro-Today at 5:04 PM

not stick skinny like every depiction showed her

Valithor-Today at 5:04 PM

And bored.Every actors worst nightmare is being fat before shooting

Acro-Today at 5:05 PM

also my mom has been an Anne Rice fan forever so when she read the books she got super pissed because Stephanie basically ripped off 90% of Anne Rice's stuff

Valithor-Today at 5:05 PM

LOL(edited)

Acro-Today at 5:05 PM

that's actually where the sparkly nonsense came from

Rattlecat-Today at 5:05 PM

Anne Rice is a cunt anyway

Acro-Today at 5:05 PM

in Rice's books they had some sort of oddly translucent, shimmery look to their skin

Valithor-Today at 5:05 PM

waitwaitwait

Acro-Today at 5:05 PM

and Meyers decided

Rattlecat-Today at 5:05 PM

Nobody likes her fucking shitty attitude

Acro-Today at 5:05 PM

"I CAN DO BETTER"

Valithor-Today at 5:05 PM

@Rattlecat Are you getting your ovary removed or untwisted?

Shrine-Today at 5:05 PM

Anne rices stuff was good before she went bonkers

Rattlecat-Today at 5:05 PM

Removed

Valithor-Today at 5:05 PM

Both or just the one?

Rattlecat-Today at 5:05 PM

I'm a guy sweetheart

Shrine-Today at 5:05 PM

We don't know what's wrong yet

Rattlecat-Today at 5:06 PM

It needs to leave

Starson-Today at 5:06 PM

PFFF

Rattlecat-Today at 5:06 PM

All of it

Starson-Today at 5:06 PM

"EXIT ME"

Valithor-Today at 5:06 PM

Giggity

Shrine-Today at 5:06 PM

I mean end game is we get them both out

Acro-Today at 5:06 PM

the Dream

Rattlecat-Today at 5:06 PM

Gotta make room for all the testosterone

Starson-Today at 5:06 PM

"end game"

Valithor-Today at 5:06 PM

The ultimate vasectomy

Acro-Today at 5:06 PM

uhhh wrong thing

Shrine-Today at 5:06 PM

But right now we're trying to figure out what's up

Valithor-Today at 5:06 PM

#CloseEnough

Shrine-Today at 5:06 PM

Star look

Starson-Today at 5:06 PM

Rattles if you stretch out your arms and walk into the defibrilator you clip through and the ovaries will be outside of you

Acro-Today at 5:06 PM

vasectomy is cutting off the tubes of male bitsbut everything stays in place

Valithor-Today at 5:06 PM

wot(edited)

Rattlecat-Today at 5:07 PM

Dude apparently one of the ways to take it out is through the vagina and I'm like NO?

Shrine-Today at 5:07 PM

Rattles is out here completions run

Valithor-Today at 5:07 PM

Star that isn't how wall glitching works /s(edited)

Shrine-Today at 5:07 PM

Yeah

Starson-Today at 5:07 PM

Excuse you Val I've been to a hidden walmart using 0.5 A presses

Acro-Today at 5:07 PM

oophorhysterectomy is the goal of removing the uterus and ovaries

Shrine-Today at 5:07 PM

Mmhm

Valithor-Today at 5:07 PM

EXPLAIN (star)(edited)

Acro-Today at 5:07 PM

explain what

Rattlecat-Today at 5:07 PM

Someone please show Val the Secret Walmart post please

Sigma Shrimp-Today at 5:07 PM

eject ovary

Shrine-Today at 5:07 PM

One of those can be done through the vag

Acro-Today at 5:07 PM

ohhh the Walmart clippage

Rattlecat-Today at 5:07 PM

Reject ovary

Starson-Today at 5:07 PM

Rattles just press the eject buttonovaries will slide out

Shrine-Today at 5:07 PM

Rattles is like NO

Acro-Today at 5:08 PM

my mom got a laparoscopic prodecure done

Starson-Today at 5:08 PM

then insert your Ratchet and Clank disc

Shrine-Today at 5:08 PM

That's what rattles wants

Valithor-Today at 5:08 PM

I just want to be a real boy

Shrine-Today at 5:08 PM

Laproscopic

Rattlecat-Today at 5:08 PM

A ratchet ad clank discIs what I wany

Sigma Shrimp-Today at 5:08 PM

Ejec ovary, blow on it a bit, place it back in and restart system

Valithor-Today at 5:08 PM

https://giphy.com/gifs/reaction-disney-pinocchio-98xZ3MCGfwT3W

Starson-Today at 5:08 PM

PFFFRattles Ovaries glitched

Valithor-Today at 5:08 PM

LOL

Starson-Today at 5:09 PM

Sigma don't blow on the ovaries don't you know the moisture from your breath can corrode the ovary

Rattlecat-Today at 5:09 PM

If I die in surgery my will will detail the hunger games rules for all my belongings

Valithor-Today at 5:09 PM

Licks lips

Chazzie-Today at 5:09 PM

blowvary

[poetryonchilledwine]

5/500 days of writing 2 july

I'm currently in a hotel in northern germany with shitty wifi, so I hope this blogpost manages to get posted. But uhhh, I can't put in any pics abe ause they take a really long time to upload. I'm also kinda late writing this, and I don't have any particular plan for what exactly I want to say. Living that well structured blogger life you know. Anyways, I'm going to discuss my mental health a little. This is not going to be some kind of inspirational story about how I cured my depression or something, this is just a confused text written by a girl in the middle of it. A way to sort things out for myself. Yes, this is personal and I might delete this later. But, let's get started. All my life, I've thought I had no mental problems. Looking back, I'm however pretty sure I had a minor eating disorder. I always ate, but I also felt bad about eating, every time I ate something. Because I ate food normaly, it passed unnoticed. I'm still suffering in the aftermaths of this. This is actually what led me to healthy eating blogs, which later led to fitness, and gosh I'm grateful for that. It's a little bittersweet though. I'm still not that comfortable in my own body, and it comes in waves sometimes. It's different now though. The day of my prom this spring I remember not feeling very good, and I just couldn't eat anything. I couldn't even bear the thought of eating lunch. It was a weird feeling. When I got home to my friend though I felt better and while I still felt weird, I ate some cereal. I didn't talk about it with my friends while we got ready because I didn't want to ruin the night for them, but just being in theif presence made things feel better. Moving on. I've been studying a lot this year, and the last year too, and I basically controlled my life really hard. I did my homework, posted pics on instagram, and did my workouts, so my life looked succesful on the outside, but I felt... empty on the inside. However, I fooled myself too, so it was firstly when I got tired of it, and threw all my bullet journals and to do-lists in the trash bin, I realised I've been pushing away my friends and that I actually didn't feel that well. So I stopped controlling. It was hard. And it was after this I realized so many things. Firstly, I wasn't happy with this life. Secondly, I need people, I'm not as introvert as I thought. Thirdly... This controlling was a coping skill of mine. Bevause after this, I started getting something I think is pretty mild anxiety attacks. I'm not sure exactly what they are, and they are also kinda different each time, but it feels shitty. So, when I lost, or got rid of, my coping skill, I had no other way to deal with this. I think? I'm not sure. So, this leads to my conclusion. When I get home I'm going to contact the psychiatry to get help. Because I live in an amazing country, this is completly free. I basically just need to call the clinic thing and I'll book a time for a talking session thing. The main reason to why I haven't done this before is because I have two friends who both have been involved with these kind of theraphists (I'm not sure if that's the correct term) and neither felt helped in any way. However, I'm starting to feel like I don't really want to talk about it with my friends only anymore. For various reasons, but all of them have problems of their own, and I don't really want to bother them all the time. It sounds silly, I know, and I'm still going to briefly talk to them about it, but I don't want to have long therapeutic sessions with them anymore. Also, they are part of the problem. I have one problem with this. I can't tell my parents that I'm going there. This is hard, because my parents are really controlling. But, my plan is that when school starts again I'll just say I stayed in the library to study, and now in the summer I'll tell them I'm going to meet a friend for a fika. So yeah, I'll just go for it I guess. xx Kathy ps. if u have any advice or thoughts please please let me know !! I'm confused .

[hardwarevent]

Humans are glitchy

So first off, I’ve come down with like a runny nose and phlegmy throat. I think it’s because I stayed up late like every day this week playing King of the Kill with coworkers. Really not good for my health to only get like 6 hours of sleep a night. And what a surprise: when you have a runny nose and shit, it’s even harder to sleep. So go figure. Uhhh… I dunno. Skipped my workout today. I could have done it, but I dicked around until it was like 11:30 and I was like “whoops” so. There’s a girl I was getting along with pretty well on OKC and then we talked about weekend plans and she read my message and just kinda didn’t respond to it so it’s like well that’s cool I guess. So I pinged again like “hey did you want to meet up sometime” and I’m waiting for the response. This girl is super unreliable as far as answering messages goes. Whatever. If I get her number I can text her and maybe communication would be more reliable. She’s ok from what I’ve heard from her so yeah idk I’m so bad at dates I’m fucking ugly etc etc I… I kinda want to break out? Of the friend group I’m currently in? I just want to break away from C and get better? Friends? Not friends in closer with, but friends that are more active and cool and successful. I dunno. Apparently my old external HD was in the living room computer and C I guess was cleaning up and put it in my room. I looked through to the hidden folder and there were some old pics and vids of C from our college days… I don’t know what happened. That’s a lie. I do know what happened. People change. Rapidly. I know it’s weird to say, but I really don’t like the influence the furry fandom has had on C? It makes it so it’s ok to be totally crass and crude and be bird-obsessed all the time. I don’t think I’ve changed too much, but I honestly think I’m just a boring motherfucker with a 9-5 day job now. I don’t really like hanging out with furries… but I do because C does, and therein lies the issue. If I want to be part of the furry fandom, I should be a part of the furry fandom, and not just go to events and be an outcast there, while also exiling myself from, like, normies-ism? So I get the worst of both worlds. Therefore, I guess, I should either commit to being a furry, or not go to furry shit. It’s tricky, right? I went furry bowling recently, and out of everyone there, there was one somewhat attractive female-y attractive person (besides C I guess), and I’m pretty sure she was taken. This was out of like 50? Attendies? The furry fandom is like 80% ugly gay or bisexual dudes. And the rest are desperate for female attention and are totally fucking awkward. So like, what’s the point of the furry fandom? I don’t really fit in there, man. I don’t belong there. So then the choice is obvious. Find someplace to hang out and meet people that isn’t the furry fandom. Maybe a spot where there’s single females. Fuck, that’s like… bars? I should get into the bar scene? Bar girls are skanks though. I just feel fucking checkmated by loneliness. I’m in a sausage-fest profession, and hang in a sausage-fest fandom that I don’t even commit to being in, so the girls who are in the fandom wouldn’t even be interested. Fuck, dude. I’m really starting to not really like hanging around C. Like they decided to post about how they dreamt about having a 5 some with M and V and C and me and some gay guy. M and V were doing stuff, and the gay guy gave C a feeldoe to fuck him with, and I was apparently just standing there like “uhhh” and frankly, that shit bothered me way more than it should have. Like, I’m glad I’m portrayed as the dude who doesn’t do anything in group sex. I’m glad that’s people’s perception of me, some fucking clueless beta virgin. Fantastic. Fuck this shit dude. Maybe breaking the lease would have been worth it. Maybe I should quit all these furry telegram groups. But if I did that, then what’s left of me? What’s left of my social circle? That’s kind of what’s gonna be happening anyway in May, when I move out. Jesus. What would even happen at that point? Would C still invite me to things? Would the furries still at least be friends with me? My life is just getting bleaker and bleaker. I think my only route to semi-happiness was just staying with C and marrying them and being a furfag and sacrificing my dignity and embracing shame. At least then I wouldn’t fucking die alone. Well, we all die alone. But me especially now. Look at me, being all sorry for myself. Man, you have had every opportunity to like polish yourself up, do side projects, better yourself, but no, you haven’t. You just fucking play shitty worthless video games and jerk off to hentai in your spare time. You’re a fucking loser, and you’ve done nothing to change that. I don’t know what to do man. I’m lost. I’m really fucking lost. I feel like shit, my self-esteem is terrible, and I can’t pry myself away from my stupid fucking obnoxious soulless ex. That’s basically what it’s come down to. … You know, me. You have vacation time. You have resources. If you really wanted to, you could just fly to, like, New Zealand, and just fucking hang out there for a week. Or south Korea. Or travel across Europe, or take that trip with your mom and brothers through England and Scotland in June. No one would spite you. You have like 5 weeks of vacation saved up, and guess what. When you quit, all you get is useless money. It’s useless because all you do is save it, and don’t spend it on making yourself happier. You read the money book, and it said that from a numbers standpoint, spending money on vacations is the most efficient way to spend money in terms of lasting happiness. So fucking do it. Quit being a pussy, and break that mold. You do everything the way your dad does, but maybe you shouldn’t be like your dad or your mom. Maybe you should do something else. Be your own person. I think the first step towards doing something that you wanna do is actually realizing that you can do it, and then you just make steps towards it until it happens. I dunno, this just turned into a fucking pep talk for myself. But I think it helped. I should go to sleep. Sleep off the sick. Sleep off the sad. Sleep it off. P.S. M's last day at work was today. It's gonna be quieter there without him I think.