#I guess I could’ve made that more clear but he was v flaky with me
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#might as well update since this is like my diary#removed w on socials because#when I was at Suwrial’s last weekend#we had a convo about letting go of people who aren’t genuine#or don’t really add anything to your life any more#we didn’t talk about w but it made me reflect#and it’s like#I never wanted to be his friend#I guess I could’ve made that more clear but he was v flaky with me#and throughout the years#or by the point I met him#I just#it’s not in me to put in a lot of effort to chase after someone who isn’t really showing the same interest no matter how much I want them#but anyway yeah#I never wanted to be his friend +#I either wanted to be fwb or with him#but it never got to that point#and idk#he was so wishy washy with me#and idk I guess I live in my head a lot so I could’ve communicated how I felt/what I wanted#but as I said because of the flakiness and I never felt comfy enough to#like if things progressed he would’ve just played in my face even more#so I was like#what’s the point of having him on anything#if there’s nothing there and I don’t wanna be his friend/ a failed talking stage#plus I thought it would help me let him go properly#because I can find it hard to let go of people even when it shouldn’t be that deep it’s just me and my weird emotional brain#so yeah#it is what it is#+ Ik he doesn’t feel anything for me
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