#I got transformed into a clay doll that my daughter made because me and my wife were getting divorced

[caracolcondiarrea]

I can´t believe it but me and my friend finally got every trophy at It Takes Two. We started like a year and something, I can´t believe it.

Btw 1O/1O

[mothershipresidencies]

Lucy Steggals

Deer Moon

In the absence of a corkscrew I have just opened the last bottle of wine bought for the burning with a black screw and a pair of acid yellow pliers.

They are the same pliers I use to extract scalpel blades from the holder when they are blunt. Deer Moon the moment is now. I have changed my screen saver to the only image I have of you looking at me. I have abandoned the blood pen and I am writing to you on a digital white blank page. When I was nearer you, I made a small cuttlefish ship from all the white things I found. For sails it had a feather and a head phone port from an iPhone.

I think I am going to open the grey book that I never got to the middle of. I am going to begin at the end. Holding it closed is the perfect egg-shaped stone my Mum found on the beach that is clothed in yellowing layers. They tell you not to sit on the rocks there now because those faces are dangerous, they crumble and kill.

 17th

I buried some of the ash at the base of the oak tree and put the rest down the compost loo to dispel odors. I never did see an albino deer but after I left when I got to where I was going, I saw for the first time a jet-black squirrel.

 16th

I am digging a shallow grave with a round silver spoon borrowed from the Mothership. It’s a sunny spot, up high. However hard I bend and twist I can’t see the man, only soft white chalk curves. I am too close to him. At the base of the hill in the Abbey I balanced a feather on the palest solitary blushed rose and breathed in deeply. I know people come here to conceive bit I am sure today that’s not relevant.

On the way here we went to a place where miniature people were scurrying about wounding trees and building beautiful bridges that go nowhere. A man with gold tooth offered us half a chocolate digestive and stopped us reversing into a ditch. My feet are black with ash and face is warm from the suns gaze. I am happy in this corner between the wall and the window watching the acorn rain. In the graveyard a bush swallowed me. I held tightly to a spindly twig, gently so as not to break it.

The table in front of me has almost nothing man made on it apart from a camera a phone and an armless Kewpie with seaweed for arms. Cuttle fish ships sail across it.

No more dead dust. I am stroking my body with oiled stones from the sea. We walked barefoot on the beach and spun seaweed. Sometime soon I will fill a bath with it and just float. I am laden with pebbles and drift wood but I am going to hold what happened here lightly like a cloud of tiny spiders. If you look hard enough at the rock face the sky looks more solid than the land.

 15th

Yesterday people came with stories of other people. The parents who moved house without telling their children and fitted the new house out exactly like the old one. The man who had a motorcycle accident and reclaimed himself using his old shirts as an anchor. A collective tale of unwanted dolls from faraway places in plastic tube coffins. Together we got lost and sank onto a bog. We ate a thousand small fish, perfect in death, that had jumped out of the sea with curry, cake and a Turkish type of delight from Greece. After dinner we burnt the pleated moon under a full harvest moon, roasted a single marshmallow and breathed in frankincense and myrrh. 

 14th

Today I passed through the glass and deliberately had my coffee, a blood grapefruit not more than three meters from where I had it yesterday. I am facing the oak tree dead on. If I lean one way I can see the solitary swing, lean the other and through the leaves are three others. Two forwards and backwards and a perch with rings.

 The single swing is hung from the sturdiest branch, it spins in a chaotic unbalanced, skin chaffing way. I have been looking at it for days. All four rely on the oak tree, I think we are going to be friends for a long time. It like me is not perfect it is scarred and gnarled in parts. I wonder if this is a mast year the year a tree produces more acorns than the deer and squirrels can eat? I have finished and hung my pleated ring in the window. Through that which is seen I filmed myself swinging.

 Later I felt you standing there in the clearing did you come to say goodbye. 

 13th

Hovering in the window are two hole and one-half blank pages.  One is a doorway that reflects the sky back to me. I have started pleating the paper from 1996 ‘I swear to take a man I love to the William Morris room’ heading backwards to 1993 ‘I am a pimple on the clear complexion of the earth’ It feels less like destroying more like mending. Together they went to Dorchester to by wax thread and needles. We met by the sea and ate overpriced fish. The dog was sick under the chair. The ink is dry and I have lost my thread let’s start again.

 I have paper now also scissors and a stone. paper wraps stone, stone blunts scissors, scissors cut paper do you need all there or just two of the same? You have not appeared. I am going to thread the wax string into the sail needle and see what happens.  

 12th

Frank, Dickon, Nick, Simon one and two, Benji, Luke, Ben, Rob…Fold, Fold, Fold… ‘I hate me’

I have dismantled 1994- I think I might turn it all into a giant clown’s ruff, for Lucky. 

They predicted I would marry but would have many other men in the kitchen making breakfast. I would be hippyish, would hate my kids and make them wear clothes from Oxfam. I would cut out butterflies and hang them from the ceiling, wear weird cloths and leave all the windows open. I am scared the blank pages will steal my words. To late I have cut the cord shall I rearrange, edit extract or just eat it?

 There is a pile for travel, Nepal, Cherbourg; one for small notes from the school board; a permit for treks of enchantment; a reference to a burnt eyelid; letters from Belgium,; my first pill packet; a paperclip; old photographs; cards from dead people; tattoos to be applied at the same time by friends across the channel and poems and quotes from Chaplin and Rossetti.

 A small dent has appeared on my third finger sort of like an old bee sting with a worn-out center. I am writing this a studio where other people’s archives are hiding, trapped in liminal space.  I am afraid of blankness. It hovers, lurks waits to punch, suffocates.  It’s a full moon on Saturday. Burning rituals have happened here before.  Ash can feed fallow ground. Can it be a fond farewell?

The lady with the grey dog wouldn’t burn here diaries. She keeps them for memory and to give to her daughter to read so she understands her… but she only has sons. My brother stopped by for tea today.

 A red admiral butterfly flew in earlier. She said it might be her mother. The moon and the Deer are here to help me.

 11th

I am afraid of you blank page because of the old ones. Left-handed people should not use fountain pens. The sky is hammering on the corrugated plastic roof it wants to be heard. I am sitting in a corner outside is a perfect clearing with a single swing. This morning I felt something I turned and caught a flash of the rear end of a deer. There were more, two are dappled with multiple moons.  I arrived with a box of supplies packed by my mum inside it she had put an old embroidery hoop and an image of a small girl holding a hula hope int a spinning glass frame. It’s on the table if you spin it catches the evening sun and turns the room into a carousel. I also bought the Dorset diaries 15-18 1993-1996 from the side all you see is the edge. Diaries are not tidy things, stuff slips out. ‘We don’t grow up we just layer’. I am going to fold the page back make the first of many creases. Why do we keep them? unhealed trauma someone said recently. I think I just saw an albino deer, a sign of divinity, transformation and soul purification. I stare out the window longing for it to return. I am both doe and fawn being chased by a blank white page. My hand is bloodied now there is no turning back. I can slay with a pen. Stay on the deer tracks. If there is a point on a circle you can get to it two ways.  At home in a glass dome I have a broken pulled glass fawn with an old clay pipe for a leg. Almost I stand it up holding my breath as I replace the lid so it doesn’t fall. Another thing on the table here is a terracotta faceless woman hunched over in a headscarf and shawl. I made her at the same time as the diaries. She is the sister of another figure bent almost double. I don’t know if she still exists? If so she is in the blue mountains near indigo valley. She has travelled further than me. It’s dusk the deer have returned. I have switched out the lights and am laying, waiting. I no longer fear blank pages because I am already wrapped. I have cut my eyes on thorns and fallen down banks in bad shoes. I turned my coat to amour but now it is returning to fur. I am still wary of predators but am looking across at a wide-open space near running water with a swing where deer’s come often to graze.

  Deer Moon meeting you was a gentle joy and I miss you.

I must order more red ink.

Much love

Lucy

[katty-corner]

3

The leader of the Dark Kingdom, Queen Beryl, called out Jadeite for his failures, "Jadeite, you have already failed me twice. I hope you are prepared."

"I am terribly sorry," Jadeite apologized. 

"The youmas you create are mere clay dolls." A voice from the shadows called out, "That's why they are so weak." It was Nephrite with his long wavy brown hair and brown eyes. He wore a black suit with silver armour and a black cape, "Queen Beryl, as one of the dark Kings, leave it to me. I'll effectively gather more energy and find the legendary silver Crystal."

"But those Flame Guardians will surely get in the way again," an effeminate voice said from the shadows.

"Zoisite!" Jadeite proclaimed. 

"Could they be looking for the Legendary Silver Crystal as well?" Zoisite had long wavy blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail and green eyes. Like the other Kings he wore a black suit with silver armour and a black cape.

The queen didn't like that speculation as she squinted her red eyes.

"Queen Beryl," Jadeite began, "please tell me. What is the Legendary Silver Crystal?"

The Legendary silver Crystal is the source of my energy. With it I would be whole again and have infinite, immense power. Enough to rule over the entire universe. Your mission is to destroy our enemies and return what is mine!"

"Yes my queen, I will eliminate the guardians at all costs!" Jadeite reaffirmed. 

-----------

A week went by and at school there was a rumor about a cursed shrine. People would go to tie their fortunes to the shrine trees, and never come back. In reality people were disappearing and the police were helpless.  

"Are you going to cram school again? But it's no fun without you!" Serena whined to Ami. 

"Do you want to come with me?" Ami joked. 

It was then something caught Serena's attention,  "I sense something on the bus."

"Could it be a guardian? Or a youma?" Ami speculated.

"Not sure...I'll check it out. I have nothing else to do anyway," Serena giggled and waved bye to Ami. 

"Be careful," Ami called after her as she ran off. 

On the bus there was a girl, a student at T.A. Catholic school girl's Academy. Her school uniform was very stylish and classy and reflected the elite status of her private school. She wore a gray blouse that had a black collar with red stripes on it, a red bow, a black skirt, white socks with a red stripe, and black shoes.

"Wow she's pretty," She was a slender teenage girl with long black hair and black eyes.

"It's impolite to stare." Said the young man sitting next to her reading a book.

Upon closer inspection Serena realized it was the jerk from before that insulted her hair, "IT'S YOU AGAIN!"

"Stop screaming meatball head. We always bump into each other." He was wearing his school uniform again along with reading glasses like Ami's. 

"Are you a junior high school student too?" Serena asked foolishly. 

He spared no time shoving his badge in her face, "I'm a high school student!"

She read aloud, "Darien Shields, 2nd year at Moto-Azabu Private High School?"

He put his badge back in his blazer pocket feeling the matter settled. 

Feeling the atmosphere unsettled Serena asked, "Hey...have you heard of the cursed shrine?" 

"Yes." He said taking his glasses off, "It's on this route right?"

Serena couldn't stop her blush, 'My heart is beating fast again!' Not knowing what else to do she followed the girl off the bus. She ran as fast as she could then stopped to catch her breath. "Oh no, I've lost her! Maybe she went to this shrine." She walked up a long old stone staircase to a well kept shrine. 

'Oh she's a shrine maiden, how cool!' The beautiful girl was in a red and white shrine priestess robes, but was surrounded by women yelling at her.

"My daughter is missing. I want you to find Mii by using your spiritual powers. Please, I beg of you…"

"My powers are not as powerful as you think." The young shrine maiden replied, "I can't specify her location. More importantly, I think you should talk to the police."

"Her child is missing!" Another woman yelled "Why don't you try to help her?"

"She said she was coming up to the shrine for a fortune and she hasn't come home. I want to know where my daughter is." The mother continued.

"I'm sorry I don't know!"

"Maybe it was you who had Mii spirited away!" Another lady chimed in.

"Were not saying this shrine is dangerous…" the last woman weakly laughed.

The teen looked so helpless. Serena couldn't help herself from standing up for her, "How can you guys accuse such a beautiful girl? I can't forgive you for attacking a girl with a pure heart."

All heads turn to look at the blonde in the school girl uniform and Rei got the flash of a memory of a blazing beautiful flame.

'What was that?' She wondered.

"She would never do such a thing!" Serena continued to shout. 

The mothers quickly turn on her, "Where have they gone then?", "Are you in on this too?", "How dare you!"

Serene has whiplash from the sudden assault and didn't know what to say. 

"Leave. Please leave!" Rei yelled as crows fly out of the trees and make a commotion.

The mothers ran scared, "Let's go.", "Rei is a strange girl.", "She can control the supernatural." 

The crows flutter down and lited on the blonde girl's shoulders.

"Are these your pet birds? They're really pretty." They purr and puff their feathers as she pets them, "And so sweet!"

"This is Bloody and Dagger. I raised them from chicks when their nest fell, but they don't normally like people. Perhaps they know something." 

The pretty blonde girl smiled, "Hi, I'm Serena."

"Rei Hino," the maiden introduced herself and the crows flew away for the trees. 

For reasons she could not explain Rei found it easy to talk to this new girl Serena, "Since I was little people have looked at me coldly, because I have Mysterious powers. Why was I born with such powers?"

"Was Mii your friend?"

"She always plays here while waiting for the bus."

"I'll help you find Mii." 

"Thank you, but you shouldn't be involved with me." And walked back into the temple. 

"I guess there's nothing I can do." Standing alone and feeling dejected Serena turned to leave. 

Rei meditated while staring at a fire in the temple and used her psychic powers, "I feel a demonic energy. Is it a ghost? One who brings chaos into this shrine...unforgettable. focus.….. stay focused. What's going on? What's going to happen?"

She got a vision of blonde man in the flames.

"Who is he?"

Feeling spent and more confused than resolved Rei went out to the fortune tree and tied an o-mikuji to a branch in hopes of finding out who this man could be. 

The tree was surrounded by light, and Rei pulled back in alarm as the tree changed shape and took on a monstrous human appearance. She even had a large ponytail shaped like a shrine bell rope, an intertwined red/white rope extending from the bells, with wooden hair, and purple skin. Her clothes were very revealing and she had a black star on her chest.

Rei ran off with the youma chasing her, quite amused. As Rei was backed up against a wall, the youma wore a backpack that could fire fortune-telling sticks that would split open and pinned Rei down.

It was then the man from her vision appeared and Rei screamed. 

Jadeite captured Rei by using his powers on her to make her sleep. 

Serena was down the temple steps when she heard the scream. 

"That sounds like Rei!"

Not thinking of anything but saving Rei, Serena transformed into her goddess form, Serenity, and flew as quick as she could, leaving a trail of fire in her wake. 

At the bottom of the stairs stood a certain high school student, "She definitely transformed just now." Darien said to himself as he looked up at the fading fire trail, "Who is she?"

When Serena arrived, Rei was passed out in the strange man's arms, all tied up. 

"Who are you!" Serenity demanded. 

"My name is Jadeite. I'm one of the four Kings of the Dark Kingdom! Makuuji attack!"

Makuuji told her, "Your fortune is bad luck!"

And attacked by using the bell rope on her head to wrap around Serenity's legs and squeezed them tight as she swung them around in midair, and threw her against the wall with a massive impact. 

Jadeite laughed and ordered his youma to finish her off and opened a portal, stealing away Rei.

Serenity was angry, more than when her brother stole the last cookie angry and her fire aura reflected it. The flames traveled down the rope and ignited the wood parts of the youma's body. Makuuji quickly let go, but it was too late as Serena was blasting her with a stream of purification flames and speeding toward the closing portal. 

--------

"You are too lenient, Jadeite." Nephrite commented on his scheme. As much as the Kings were on the same team they still competed for their queen's favor and affections, which made them all rivals.

But Jadeite was used to the pettiness, after all he was the one the queen trusted with the mission, "Is that you Nephrite? The more hostages the better, to lure out the Flame Guardians."

Nephrite didn't seem to be in the mood to squabble and sauntered off leaving Jadeite with the victory. He smiled as he looked over his piles of sleeping human hostages. Most of them children, they gave the best energy after all, but then there was this shrine maiden that seemed to truly capture his attention. 

"She's so beautiful. I've never met her before, but I feel so attracted to her," he was confused by his own words.

"Get away from Rei!" Serenity called out and summoned forth a massive stream of fire, but to no effect. "Huh? It's so cold?"

"Is that all you guardians can do?" Snow fell as the room got colder, "You can't compete with my freezing powers." He blasted a stream of ice at Serenity and all she could do was block with her arms, "I will freeze you and bring you to our great ruler!"

"Was I lured here on purpose?" Serenity spouted. 

"Are you Serena?" Rei woke up confused, "Why are you-"

"Because I'm a Flame Guardian, normal people can't do this!" 

'Serena has special powers too?'

Rei watches as Serena's flames were slowly overwhelmed and her arms began to freeze by Jadeite's powers. Rei attempted to stop Jadeite from using his ice powers and grabbed him by the arm.

"Don't get in the way! Step back!" He commanded.

"I won't!" Rei protested.

"Who do you think you are?" Jadeite's grin turned sinister , "You're just a mere human," and unleashed his powers, freezing her hand.

"I'm not! I've got powers too! I won't let you hurt her anymore!" She freed her hand in a burst of energy, as her body glowed like a blazing fire, knocking Jadeite back.

It was then her memories unfolded like a fan sat on beautiful display for her. She was Mars, the flame guardian of passion and combustion. Her mission was to protect her goddess Serenity and the world from evil. 

"I know what to do now." Rei said with conviction as she awakened her own powers and transformed. Her body transmuted into flames, her hair turned bright red, while her eyes were a sharp purple. Finally lava moved and formed armor for boots, guards, and a corset. 

"Rei, you are also a chosen guardian!" Serenity called out happily. 

Jadeite didn't hesitate, he sent a blast of ice straight for the new threat, but the newly emerged Mars was able to blast it away with her super heated aura. 

'I was born with special powers to become a guardian. Was I destined to meet her?' Rei imagined.

While Jadeite was distracted Serena was able to melt her arms free and launch one final attack to trap Jadeite. Rei overpowered Jadeite's ice abilities with her own flames, forcing him to flee. 

As the missing children were safely returned to their families, none of them seemed to remember where they were or the monster that took them. The police were baffled by the sudden mass reappearance, but the parents were happy to have them back. 

Then Rei met the other guardian Ami, that she remembered as Mercury.

"Now there are three guardians. I'm so glad you joined us, Mars." Serena winked at her.

"We were looking for someone like you." Ami said. 

Rei couldn't stop the smile from spreading on her face. 

As celebration for their victory and finding guardian Mars, the girls went out to the arcade. 

"This is my first time coming to an arcade," Rei said. 

"My first time was when Serena brought me here a while ago," Ami replied. 

"Hey I know. You wanna play a game?" Serena asked, "Ami can show you how it's done and I'll get us snacks." Then ran off to the corner vending machine. 

Sitting at the Flame game, Rei button smashed her way to defeat, "Wait...this is harder than I thought."

After watching, Ami came in to help, "While dodging their attacks, you have to hit the button repeatedly to hit them." And demonstrated. 

"I get it now." Rei said confidentiality and repeated the movements. 

"Way to go!" Ami cheered. 

"Come on!" Rei concentrated, then beat the boss. 

"We did it!" They said together as they double high fived. 

Rei was a little embarrassed by her own exuberance and blushed, as a priestess should be reserved. 

"Rei?" Ami asked

"Nothing," Rei shook her head, "Thanks Ami."

"Thanks for waiting," Serena said returning with an arm load of chips and drinks. 

"You're late," Rei remarked.

"But I bought stuff with my allowance! You don't have to be so crabby!" Serena huffed. 

Rei ignored her and turned introspective, "I still can't believe I'm a guardian of justice. I'm already sick of fighting youma."

"Who are these youma anyway?" Ami asked.

"I'm not sure who they are either…" Serena said snapping back to her serious self. 

"But we became guardians to defeat evil right?" Ami continued. 

"Not only that, but your ultimate mission is to protect me, the flame goddess. You are all my guardians. It was my mission to protect the sacred flame. I know as long as it stood it was meant to protect the world from evil, but without my memories I don't know what happened to it. Now it is my mission to protect the Legendary Silver Crystal."

"What is the Legendary Silver Crystal?" Ami asked again, always the inquisitive one. 

"I remember it as a resource of unlimited power."

"I think the youma were looking for the Legendary Silver Crystal as well." Ami said. 

"Yes, if our enemies get it it will be catastrophic." Serena said. 

"The Legendary Silver Crystal...if only we had a clue." Rei chimed in. 

You are all the key to the clue," Serena added, "There are four guardians in total. When all the guardians are awakened, the seal to our memories will be broken, and we will know where the Legendary Silver Crystal is."

"We are the…." Ami started. 

"Key to finding a clue…" Rei finished. 

-----------

Jadeite was walking back into the castle holding his shoulder, his cape singed. 

"How pathetic Jadeite," a voce from the shadows called out. 

"Kunzite!" Jadeite replied. It was bad enough he lost, now he had to look like something the cat dragged in, in front of his rivals. This wasn't good. 'Damn you Mars!' He thought. 

"I heard they are also searching for the Legendary Silver Crystal," Zoisite said walking up. 

"Hmph. We will get it first at any cost." Nephrite replied walking with him. 

"Four Kings," Queen Beryl commanded and they all took a knee before her.  

"Queen beryl," they said in unison. 

"Revive me with the power of the Legendary Silver Crystal. I am a mere shadow of my former self and the dark kingdom will reign and rule the world!"

"Affirmative!" They said, all together.

'Soon I'll have what was stripped from me, but where could it be?' She thought.

Queen Beryl was beautiful to behold. She had long wavy red hair and red eyes. She wore a long purple dress and red high heels. Beryl had a black tiara on her forehead, a bracelet on each wrist, a silver belt, earrings, a necklace and horn on each shoulder, but strangely it looked as if one of her red eyes was hollow.