#I got to try the seeded which was actually pretty good
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Warm bread is the best
#Sel talks#Food mention#Made a seedy loaf and an apple spice loaf#Both were probably too much hydrated and ended up kinda flat#I got to try the seeded which was actually pretty good#Won't get to try my apple spice till tomorrow since it came out the oven an hour and a half after I was supposed to be in bed#And I'm not waiting another hour for that thing to cool#I'm a sleepy
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I know there's a lot of advice for handling things like depression and its so fucking easy for people to say "just do this and you'll feel better!" and I hate that, I fucking despise it, but I'm also gonna throw in my two cents about what is personally helping me get out of bed some days and genuinely, not kill myself.
Its taking care of nature.
Seriously. It sounds stupid and some days it feels stupid, but I put up bird feeders because I live in a semi-rural area where human activity is decimating the local bird population and options for safe feeding. So I put up bird feeders. And now I have like 83 different birds flocking to my garden on the daily and screaming at my window if the feeders are empty. And I've seen generations of baby birds brought to my garden by their parents because this is where the food is.
And I researched what plants and flowers were native to my area and I spent like $5 on a few different seed packets and sprinkled them around the grass and the sad empty flowerbeds and the lawn because the bees have nothing to eat and that's awful and it turns out wildflowers will fucking GROW the moment you look away, but now every spring and summer my lawn is a pretty little multi-colored bug haven.
And I've even gotten the chance to save a few little bug lives because of it. I've taken in cold-shocked bees and given them a warm little tupperware to recover in. I've fed bugs sugar water to get their energy back to take their food home. I've given dying bugs a sheltered, safe place to spend their last moments.
I planted a veggie garden. And I know I'm very lucky in that I have the space to do that, but also, you can grow a lot of things indoors. My friend has literally the smallest apartment you can imagine but she grows chives in her bathroom and grows five radishes at a time in a pot in the kitchen. Literally five. But it makes her so happy every single time she pulls them up or trots off to the bathroom to snip some chives.
I pick trash up every two weeks. The pick stick was like $4 online and I just put the bag out with my bi-weekly trash pick-up and its disgusting but but nobody else is gonna do it and I've only got finite time on this earth. If nobody else is going to pick up that can, I will. Because some innocent wild animal doesn't deserve to get hurt by human ignorance, and I deserve to walk home and see pretty flourishing nature instead of depressing discarded trash like I feel like most days.
I've left water out for the wildlife and watched hedgehogs, local dogs on their walks, squirrels and all sorts stop by to take a drink, because humans are fucking selfish and we're making something as basic as water so hard to access for anyone but ourselves, but I can fix a little bit of that just by putting out a bowl. Sometimes I don't even have to remember to fill it because the rain will fill it for me, and its kind of like nature's way of saying "you're helping me so I'm going to help you out too." Which is neat.
Like most days I do not want to be living on this earth but my god earth did not get a choice about us living here, and we're ruining it, and it actually feels so good to help stop and un-do a little bit of that destruction.
And you don't even have to try everything I do. If the only thing you've got the spoons to do is buy one bird feeder and you only remember to fill it once a month, its still something. That once a month could mean the difference between starvation and a full belly to a bird.
Again, none of this is obligatory and I'm not saying at all this is some magical cure for depression, but personally these things are things which are helping me slowly find things to keep getting out of bed for and things to feel a sense of self worth and satisfaction over. I feel better both in and about myself when I feed the birds, when I see the bugs in the garden, when I pick up the trash.
If its something you haven't considered yet, it might be worth a try.
#myfandomrealitea#sephiroth speaks#reality#mental health#depression#feeling happy#emotions#happiness#nature#caring for nature#earth#green earth#not discourse
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Bill hates it when people mention Euclydia. Everyone thinks it's because he doesn't want to hear his home's real name; it's actually the opposite.
Here, have some fic. The naming of Euclydia (among other things), the birth of the Nightmare Realm, and the Axolotl planting the seeds of a trillion-year-long plan to keep Bill from the death penalty.
This is the 🎉FINAL PART🎉 of a 9-part plot about the Axolotl in the aftermath of the Euclidean Massacre. If you wanna read the others (or look at the art), here's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and eight.
####
With the immediate crisis averted and the triangle, for the moment, not attempting to invade and/or demolish the multiverse, most of the god militia pulled back. A group remained stationed near the unstable border between dimensions to watch the triangle; but the less powerful gods could trickle back in to get back to their own work, first and foremost the construction workers doing emergency repairs to reformat and stabilize the neighboring dimensions.
The Axolotl—who, he suspected, would have been arrested himself for interfering if they weren't still focused on the triangle—wove through the crowd until he found the Time Giant; and then swam angrily up to her and demanded, "You used me as a distraction?"
She turned a stone-hard look on him. "That was the agreement."
"No! The agreement was that I'd try to talk him down! We'd only resort to distracting him if I couldn't get through to him!"
"Ya didn't get through to him." The Time Giant nodded at the Axolotl's burned side. "Look at you. Your leg's off."
He looked down at his missing foreleg. He'd been so distracted by the near end of the multiverse, he'd barely noticed the pain. "It's just a flesh wound," he insisted. "I'm an axolotl, it'll grow back!"
She shook her head.
"I would have gotten through to him! You saw me talk him down after an entire army threatened him!" the Axolotl said. "What if I had succeeded, and when we left my tank he found out you already wrote him off?! You never gave me a chance—"
"We did give you a chance," she said testily, "and I saw that you weren't gonna succeed." She hooked a thumb over her belt and tapped a finger on her time tape; the stylized symbol of the Time Giants glowed on the side, an unsubtle reminder that she knew what was coming far better than he did. "So I did my damn job."
So she'd sent him in already knowing that he would fail. The Axolotl was speechless for a second. "But—you couldn't know—I got so close, if I'd had just one more try to talk to him..."
"If I'd let you, I'm sure you woulda kept trying until the end of time," she said. "You seem like a good guy, Ax—but you can't save everyone." She pushed past him to get to work. "There's first aid near where Dimension 2 Gamma was. Get those burns looked at."
"They're fine."
She was wrong. He could save everyone. Because he wouldn't stop until he did.
####
"You're replacing it?" the triangle asked petulantly.
"I'm not talking to you," VENDOR said, turned away from the triangle. "You had your chance at diplomacy and you blew it." The crablike cop was holding up a clipboard with some paperwork for VENDOR to review, and didn't look pleased to have been temporarily reduced to a secretary.
"I'm just asking a question!"
"We're not speaking."
At the top of his lungs—which was, it turned out, very loud and very shrill—the triangle said in the direction of the reporters, "Oh wow, that's a crazy thing to say about Lady Morgenstern! And talk about obscene! She'd be furious if she could hear that—!"
"Shhhhh!" VENDOR rounded angrily on the triangle. "You don't even know who she is!"
"I know her name and I'm not afraid to use it," the triangle said. "You're really replacing my dimension?"
"If I can be left alone long enough to finish signing the authorization paperwork," VENDOR muttered. "The construction crew's already out here and waiting, so if you don't mind..."
"It just seems pretty tacky, replacing a universe just like that." The triangle spoke like dimension he was talking about was just a pawn to be used in a trivial argument about etiquette, rather than everyone and everything he'd ever known. "No memorial or anything? Yeesh."
"So hold a memorial for it," VENDOR said. "We don't have any choice, we have to repair all the fallen walls to keep reality stable. If you'd let us into your hovel to sweep up what's left of your old dimension, it could have at least been incorporated into the new one."
The triangle half reached for his hat, stopped himself, and curled his hand into a fist and thrust it down at his side. "Over my dead body," he said. "Which I'm pretty sure got incinerated! So that means never!"
"You're pretty sure?" VENDOR asked archly.
"It... I had more important stuff to take care of, okay? I'm a busy guy!"
"I'm sure," VENDOR said. "Well, it's too late for any cleanup operations anyway. Enjoy rotting away in your landfill."
"Wow, that's how you talk to a refugee from the biggest disaster ever?" The triangle laughed. "Hey, bet the muckrakers over there would love to hear how sympathetic you are to the—what'd you say I am—the 'last surviving soul from my dimension'—?"
"Let's find somewhere quieter to work," VENDOR said to the cop.
He looked relieved "You got it."
As VENDOR and THEIR impromptu secretary moved away from Dimension Zero, the triangle shouted after THEM, "Hey! How do I vote for Municipalitron!"
Volcanoes on several of VENDOR's planets erupted. THEY whipped around to face the triangle. "You don't! You aren't in my district!"
"Well, whose district am I in? This Morgenstern creep you keep bringing up?" the triangle asked. "How's voting work, do you toss a ballot across the border and I toss it back—?"
"You're not in anyone's district! If you were, you'd have been arrested already!"
The triangle stared in dumb shock. "Wait, so I don't get to vote for which of you idiots I have to deal with?" He hollered at VENDOR's retreating back, "That's fascism!"
Fuming, VENDOR passed the Axolotl muttering under THEIR breath about showing the triangle fascism; then stopped, abruptly turned to face him, and snapped, "You."
"You," the Axolotl agreed.
"You're an optimistic fool."
Yes, well, he knew that already. He'd been voted Most Adorably Idealistic in his law school yearbook for a reason. "I don't think I like you, either."
"No one does." THEIR camera whirred irritably as they looked the Axolotl up and down. "What are you doing here, anyway? I assumed you'd been sent to figure out who's liable for this whole mess—but no, you only handle afterlife cases, don't you? Who sent you?"
The Axolotl was silent.
Furiously, VENDOR said, "Are you serious?! We could have avoided half this mess if it weren't for you!"
"If it weren't for me, he'd have knocked down the multiverse before anyone realized he's setting the fires," the Axolotl snapped. "And if you had figured that much out, you'd have gotten your cops killed before anyone realized he's a god."
"The professionals here to handle the situation could have figured it out faster if you weren't derailing their investigations," VENDOR snarled. "And arguing about jurisdiction! We could have arrested that that little troublemaker the moment we figured out just what he's done—"
"Right after you arrested that kid with the spray can who didn't have anything to do with this?"
THEY growled in frustration. "Forget it! I hope you're happy with your genocidal pal over there—you seem about as concerned with public safety as he is." THEY stormed off, the cop with THEIR paperwork chasing after THEM.
The Axolotl watched VENDOR go; then turned to look ruefully toward Dimension Zero.
When the triangle caught his gaze, he formed a heart with his fingers over his top point and called out, gleefully singsong, "Genocide paaals!"
It wasn't exactly the reaction he'd hoped for.
####
The Axolotl was attempting to distract himself from scratching his itchy leg while it regrew by eavesdropping on the triangle. It seemed like the triangle was entertaining himself by darting around the border of Dimension Zero to start arguments with anybody he happened to recognize (except the Axolotl, whom he seemed to be trying to ignore outside of throwing a few odd quips at him.) At the moment, the triangle and the Time Giant were hollering at each other about her decision to reinforce the second dimensions by making them splinter into multiple timelines.
"So you're really willing to sacrifice zillions of lives by letting me incinerate all their parallel timelines?" The triangle laughed in disbelief. "And everyone here thinks I'm the killer! That's not a good look for you, buddy!"
She glanced up from a table full of paperwork to give him a totally neutral look. "You're the one who's willing to incinerate them. You could not do that."
"When I do it, it's justified."
The Axolotl was distracted from the argument as the storm cloud with the apoc agents gloomily blew past him. It was talking into a walkie-talkie as it went: "Yeah, I know he's a nut. But he's a nut that can't throw fireballs outside the border of his dimension, and I've got to finish this report before we can get outta here." He sighed at whatever the walkie-talkie said in response, and said, "Yeah. We'll rendezvous after I have his testimony." It let its tornado suck the walkie-talkie back in and drifted to the Time Giant. "Mind if I steal your conversation partner for a minute? ATTF business."
She grabbed a binder to try to shield her papers from the worst of the storm's rain. "Please. Take him."
"Thanks." It floated closer to Dimension Zero and raised its voice to bark, "Hey! Magister Mentium!"
The triangle looked over mistrustfully. "What?" As he'd talked to the Time Giant, he'd been playing with the fabric of reality, creating a circle out of raw...��stuff. The Axolotl couldn't tell what the stuff was, but it looked like it was some sort of animal tissue, except far too uncannily homogeneous to be natural, disturbing in its uniformity. Like a slice of baloney. When he saw who'd called out to him, he rolled his eye and turned his attention to extruding the circle into a baloney cylinder. "Heeey, Officer Fun Police! Here to rain on my parade again?"
"Rain jokes aren't as funny as you think they are," it said. "No, this is Apocalyptic Threat Task Force business."
The triangle's eye narrowed. "What business? Are you gonna complain about my renovations again?"
"No. If you're not about to knock reality down, I don't care what you do anymore," the cloud said. "It's not my business to punish anybody for previous apocalypses, I just want to prevent future ones. Answer a few questions for our incident report and I'll be out of your life." There was an implicit and you'll be out of mine in its tone.
"All right," the triangle said dubiously. "Fffine. Then we're on the same side. I'm not fond of apocalypses either."
It paused like it wanted to argue with that claim, but said, "Good enough for me." It pulled out the soggy notepad it had been using all day, flipped through it, couldn't find a free page, and with a sigh pulled out a tape recorder instead. "You're from Dimension 2 Delta, right?"
"If you say so," the triangle said, lifting his hands in a shrug. "You guys are the ones who named my dimension."
"Uh-huh." Under its breath, the cloud muttered, "Not exactly a name, but... If you're from 2Δ, that makes you the only direct witness to how your universe was destroyed."
The triangle paused. "Mm."
"Can you explain what happened, exactly?" When the triangle didn't respond, the cloud added, "I'm not gonna arrest you for it. If we want to have a chance of stopping something like this from happening in the future, we need to know what happened here."
"Uhhh, yyyeah. Suuure," the triangle said. It wasn't clear exactly how Dimension Zero rearranged, but the view of the eternal dance party simply vanished. There was no sign of the millions of shapes. The music had fallen near silent, just a constant distant low thumping noise, like your heartbeat in your ears; quiet enough that it couldn't drown out the whispery hiss leaking out of Dimension Zero. "It's not like I have anything to hide." Whatever he was about to say, it seemed like he wanted to hide it from his party prisoners, at least.
A bolt of lightning shot through the storm's recorder, turning it on. "You said you were an active participant in the end of the world, right?"
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" He eyed the recorder suspiciously. "What is this, some trick to try to get a confession out of me?"
"Again, I'm not a cop. And you already confessed in front of a thousand reporters," the storm said. "If you were involved, you've got a different perspective than some guy ten superclusters away who only witnessed it, that's the only reason it matters."
"Oh," the triangle said. "Then—yeah, I was there for the whole thing. Start to finish."
"Great," the storm said gruffly. "Then could you explain in your own words what happened when the universe ended and, to the best of your knowledge, what caused it."
"Oh. Yeah. Right. The cause," the triangle said. "It... it was a—monster."
"I thought you said you—"
"It was a monster," the triangle said, more confidently now.
The cloud hesitated. "All right," it said. "Tell me what happened."
The triangle took a deep breath. "Okay. So. It uh—started with the third dimension."
"The monster came from the third dimension?"
"No, we were going to the third dimension. But we needed—"
The hissing background static exploded into a roar.
The void filled with the staticky screams of countless dead voices, pleading for mercy, pleading for it to stop. Death rattles, howls of agony, wails of terror. Most of the crowd of gods outside Dimension Zero fell silent, turning to stare at the disembodied hysterical shrieks.
One voice, strained with pain, rose above the cacophony, crackling, "Emergency services! We need medical assistance! Ambulances, or—please—I don't know what happened—it's like everyone's internal organs spontaneously ruptured, there's—there's hundreds of people here! Some of them are missing parts of their body, they just—disappeared! I'm hurt too, I don't know what it is—I can feel it inside me—"
A second voice replied, "We can't send assistance. Everyone's bleeding, the whole city's dying! We can't help you!"
Whatever the triangle said was lost beneath the roar. He didn't even seem to notice it. His eye was filled with static. The word "blood" was just barely audible. The word "mandibles."
Another voice, trying to sound professional, trying to sound authoritative, but trembling with fear, "This is an emergency announcement! This announcement will not repeat! The fire can transmit over radio waves and sound waves! Turn off all radios and TVs! Turn off all radios and TVs and destroy any wireless phones and pagers! Do NOT listen to the screams! Again, the fire is transmitting over radio waves, this message will not repeat, destroy your radio and warn your neighbors!"
The Axolotl saw images flash in the triangle's eye, too fast for him to mentally process one before another ten had gone by: a plane like infinitely thin glass with tiny delicate shapes painted on its surface shattering in a rolling wave; a bleeding body reduced to shards and then the shards reduced to chips and then chips reduced to dust; fire spitting and crackling into every crack split in existence; a light shaped like a triangle. (Was that the light that had blinded the Oracle's seer?)
Another voice gasping, "It's doing something to the gravity, I-I don't understand—we don't even have the equipment to read... it's like gravity's turned in a direction that doesn't exist! Does anyone know how to stop it?! Our universe is tearing ap—" and the words were cut off with a scream; and the scream was cut off with a sudden silence that was swallowed whole by the other voices.
The triangle had peeled open, shining golden panels stretching out like petals, his mandibles unhinged and curling around his eye in a ring of teeth, like a blooming carnivorous flower, sun-soaked and mesmerizing. God, he was so bright. He shot light in every direction like an explosion that never ended. Like a star trapped in the moment of supernova.
Another voice, shaking with rage, "Did you hear that, you monster?! I told you we weren't ready yet! Why didn't you listen?! I can see the destruction from here—the sky's on fire, everything is burning. How could this happen?! YOU killed them all—" and the rage cracked, revealing the fear and grief just barely hidden underneath, "Remember us. If you're the only one left, you have to remember us. Please—"
The static snapped off; the triangle's body snapped back into place; his eye snapped back into focus; "—and then they appointed me their god," he said cheerfully, "and here we are!"
And with only a couple more dying cries of pain and pleas for help, the voices fell back to their constant background whisper.
The storm cloud had started sleeting.
The Axolotl had stopped breathing. Just the sound of the carnage was enough to make him sick.
But the triangle sounded perfectly at ease—more than he had before he'd answered the cloud's question. "So is that all you needed?" He'd resumed playing with the cylinder of meat he'd been constructing—extruding it further, and then, dissatisfied with the results, collapsing it back into a circle.
His hands were trembling as he messed with the cylinder. There was a tightness around his eye.
"What..." The storm cloud let out a low rumble of thunder, ahem, "what... did you say about blood? I didn't catch it."
The triangle blinked blankly at the storm. "I didn't say anything about blood."
It paused. "All right, then—what about the other voices? Who were they?"
"What voices?"
The storm stared at the triangle, baffled sunbeam fixed on him; then swung the sunbeam over to the Axolotl. "You heard—?"
So his eavesdropping had been noticed. He nodded. Oh, he heard, all right.
The triangle glanced between them. "I think you guys are hearing voices," he said. "The only one talking here is me."
He said it like he meant it. The Axolotl was sure he did. Had he not heard the voices?
"Never mind, forget it," the cloud said uneasily. "You said someone... Who appointed you their god?"
"Uhhh..." the triangle tilted to the side as he tried to think. "Pretty much all my people? Yeah. It was everyone!"
"Your people? From your universe?"
"Yup!"
"They didn't appoint you their god," the cloud said. "They're all dead."
The triangle scoffed. "I don't know what you're talking about. They're all in here with me!"
"You mean the mortals from the other universes?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," the triangle repeated, a little slower, warningly. "They're all from my universe."
For a moment, the cloud just stared at him, at a loss. It glanced again toward the Axolotl. The Axolotl had nothing to offer it.
"Is that everything?" The triangle tried to keep his voice peppy, but there was an edge of exhaustion that hadn't been there earlier. (Yeah, him and everyone else here.)
"I guess that wraps up that part of the questionnaire," the cloud muttered uneasily, trying to recover its professional tone. "Just a couple more questions. I need your name. For the report."
Dimension Zero's hissing background static rose again: "The murderer... The name of the murderer... is—"
"NOBODY ASKED YOU!" The triangle turned and chucked the cylinder he'd been working on into the Dream Realm. He grumbled under his breath, created another circle, and started stretching it out again.
The triangle could hear the voices. Then why hadn't he been able to hear them earlier? Unless he had been able to hear them—and he just... couldn't remember that he'd heard them?
Even if the Axolotl hadn't known about the incomparable trauma the triangle had survived/caused, it would be pretty obvious by now that something was going terribly wrong inside his head. Contradictory stories about his own reality, memories he refused to remember, facts he simply set aside as not relevant. Was he refusing to face them, or was he unable?
From their conversation in the Axolotl's tank, he thought the triangle understood more than he was willing to admit. But the Axolotl might be the only one who knew that.
And that was beginning to give the Axolotl an idea.
"Just—put me down as the Magister Mentium, okay?" the triangle told the cloud. "Everyone'll know who you're talking about."
"If you say so," said the cloud. "What was your universe's name?"
"Its name?" The triangle glanced up from his new cylinder and gave the cloud a perplexed look. "You asked already. You said it's Dimension 2 Delta."
"That's its serial number. Every dimension's assigned one at its Big Bang. But it's standard to let a dimension's own residents choose its name. It makes it more personal." The cloud sounded as though it had memorized this explanation. The Axolotl wondered how many times it had had to take statements from a destroyed dimension's grieving survivors. He hoped it usually got to give this spiel to witnesses of a narrowly averted apocalypse. "Typically the first explorers to leave their dimension get to name it; but the only person ever known to leave 2Δ is... you."
"Oh," he said. "Right."
"So, what did your people name your universe?"
He stared at the storm like it was stupid. "We called it... the universe?"
"Everyone calls their universe The Universe," the cloud said. "Followed by The World, The Dimension, Reality, and Home. They're all taken, come up with something else."
"Seriously? You're making me name my whole universe and now you're telling me how to name it?"
"They're not my rules," the cloud said. "If you don't have a native name, we usually name a dimension after the first known explorer to leave it. Was that you?"
The triangle was quiet for an uncomfortably long moment. His gaze twitched away; and for a moment the Axolotl thought he saw another image flash in his eye: a triangle floating in space, eerily serene, dead. His voice was small when he said, "No."
Surprised lightning quietly flashed in the storm's cloud. "Oh. Do you know the name of the first?"
"Of course I do. He's my..." He stopped himself. He said, too evenly, "His name is Euclid."
Obviously, the triangle wasn't speaking a language that can be spoken with human mouths or written with human symbols. "Euclid" is a stand-in word for an unpronounceable name; trying to say the name without the right anatomy—without even the right laws of physics and sound waves—would only mangle it.
But the rest of the multiverse didn't have the right physics or anatomy either. "Euclid," the cloud repeated, mangling it. The triangle winced. "Fine. How's Euclydia sound?"
"It sounds stupid," the triangle said.
"Well, it's your dimension. Do you have a better suggestion?"
"I..." The triangle floundered helplessly. "That... Okay hold on, I've had a very long..." He floundered again as he tried to figure exactly what kind of time span he'd been having a long one of.
"If you want me to come back later..." said the cloud, who very obviously did not want to have to come back later.
"I don't knowww, gimme a second," the triangle whined. "I've never thought about a universe having a name! It's—it's fine. Euclydia's fine."
"If you're sure—?"
"Of course I'm sure," the triangle snapped. "Euclydia. Yeah. Great. Fine."
"All right." The cloud zapped its tape recorder, turning it off. "Thanks for your time."
As it started to hover off, the triangle said, "Hold on! I answered your questions, you owe me some."
The eye of the storm reluctantly swung back toward the triangle. "What?"
He held up the shape he'd been extruding. "What do you call this... 3D circle thing?"
The sunbeam swept over it. "A cylinder?"
The triangle pointed toward VENDOR, who was out at the edge of the crowd answering the questions of some reporters who'd caught THEM attempting to slink away from the scene. "And what are the 3D circle things Coin Slot over there is hauling around?"
It glanced at VENDOR's stock of planets. "Spheres."
The triangle shook his cylinder. "Well, what am I doing wrong, then!"
"I don't know, math's not my thing," the cloud said. "Try rotating it."
The triangle waited until the cloud had moved on; then created another circle, extruded it again, but curled the extrusion around into a circle. He ended up with a shape like a donut. He said, quietly, "Oo-oo-ooh." He sounded impressed.
The Axolotl swam up alongside the storm cloud as it left. "So. Find out what you wanted to know?"
The cloud laughed ruefully.
That was what he thought. "Are the interviews you've been taking classified?"
"No, our reports are open to the public. Anyone can request copies. The database is a nightmare to navigate, though."
"Let me know who to contact for the records on this incident. Especially the witness testimonies."
"I take it you're also planning to go through that noise we just heard with a fine-tooth comb?"
"That's hardly the start of it."
If the Axolotl had been convinced of anything during all his conversations with the triangle today, it was that the triangle could barely begin to grasp just what it was he'd done to his dimension and all the dimensions around it—and he did a very poor job of communicating what he did grasp.
And if the Axolotl could prove that—if he could build a convincing argument that the triangle hadn't understood what he'd done, psychologically couldn't understand, that even now he only had the fuzziest comprehension of what he was involved in...
Someday, that triangle's sins would catch up to him. Someday, he would be in the hands of the gods of death and justice, and they would have to decide what fate his actions had earned. And when that day came, it would be the Axolotl's job to ensure that the triangle didn't end up damned or erased from existence.
As it was now, that triangle didn't stand a chance in the multiverse of being found innocent. But there was more than one way to avoid a "guilty" verdict.
By the time the triangle stood before a judge, the Axolotl would make sure that the right laws were in place for him to do what he wanted to do.
####
Where there had been swarms of firefighters earlier, now the scene swarmed with construction workers, working on the emergency genesis of over half a dozen replacement universes—carefully, so that the big bangs didn't do any further damage to an already unstable situation; but quickly. Already every destroyed one-dimensional universe had been replaced. Several half-burned dimensions had been supplanted with oddly-shaped undersized universes that met at the older universes' burned edges; jagged 1D dimensions sealed the gaps between these dimensions like a line of solder between two panes of stained glass.
By now, the flat planes and edges surrounded the zeroth dimension like the sleek shifting surfaces of an infinity-sided die; all except for one last missing wall in the middle of the damage.
Dimension 2 Delta. "Euclydia."
The construction workers were already setting up the scaffolding and equipment to set off another big bang.
As the Axolotl looked at the copious warning signs around the construction site—"DANGER! COSMIC EXPLOSIVES" "GENESIS IN PROGRESS"—the specialized equipment, the veritable army of workers, the mountain of papers the Time Giant had been reviewing earlier to ensure that everything was up to code and nothing would go wrong... he couldn't help but think of the triangle holding the seed of a big bang in his bare glowing hand, threatening to set it off right there. The Axolotl had known it was foolish, but seeing all the workers' preparations put just how reckless it was into perspective. Like a toddler holding a stick of TNT over a campfire.
He spotted the Time Giant among the workers, flickering back and forth across the scene as she tried to literally be multiple places at the same time. When she settled down for a moment over a worktable to double check a pile of blueprints and forms and calculations and even more paperwork, she caught sight of the Axolotl passing by, and tipped her chin up at him in greeting.
He paused, then nodded back to her. No hard feelings. He was just following his principles; and she was just doing her job. They'd each found their own way to help hold up the multiverse.
"Hey," she called out, and gestured for him to come over. As he did, she said, "Your leg's healing nicely."
He glanced down at it. His new toes were stubby, but at least they were back. "I don't like being uneven." He'd take a few more days on his tail. "I'll probably pay for it tomorrow, though." When he finally got home, he'd have to see if he could cancel his morning appointments.
"Reckon we'll all be feeling this tomorrow." She tilted her head toward Dimension Zero. "I've got a message for the god of DIY over there. I think you're the only one he likes—you mind carrying it over?"
####
It wasn't hard to find the triangle; he was leaning against the membrane around the zeroth dimension, moodily staring out at the third. He seemed to be gazing past all the gods, unfazed by their hubbub. The Axolotl tried to see what he was looking at, and didn't spot anything of note. As far as he could tell, the triangle might as well just be stargazing.
Along with the police tape and the ATTF barrier and the long-forgotten cordons to hold off the reporters, there was now an additional grid of orange cones set up blocking anyone from getting too close to the destroyed wall and the construction site. The Axolotl glanced around to make sure no one was paying attention before he slipped past the cones and swam up to the triangle.
When he approached, the triangle was muttering under his breath: "Stupid, now it sounds like an STD. I should've named it something cooler. Like... Triangletopia. Or the Party Plane. Or Margaritaville—I bet no one's ever used that one before..."
"Magister," the Axolotl said.
The triangle's eye snapped to him. "Hey, look at that! The pompous psycho is back! If you're even thinking about sticking me back in your 'office'—"
The Axolotl held up his forelegs appeasingly. "I'm not." He wasn't even crossing the threshold into the triangle's turf. "This is the last time I'll speak to you today."
"Finally, some good news," the triangle grumbled. "What do you w—ha! Ah-haha! I caught myself, that one didn't count."
The Axolotl decided not to count it. "The Time Giant wanted you to know they're about to set off the big bang where Dimension 2 Delta used to be. You probably don't want to be too close to the wall when it goes up."
The triangle's expression darkened; but he just said, "All right. Fine. Have fun. Not my problem! Just keep the construction noises down."
That was all he'd been sent to tell the triangle; but he added, "If you ever want to leave your dream realm, this is your last chance."
The triangle groaned. "This again? Listen, frills, I already told you I'm not interested! And you don't have the right to drag me out, this is my sovereign god territory—"
"I'm not threatening to," the Axolotl said gently. "I just—wanted to make sure you know. If you change your mind later, you physically won't be able to leave."
That gave the triangle pause. "I... don't see why not."
"For something to pass from one dimension to another, it needs a large enough hole to pass through," the Axolotl said. "For a person carrying the mass and energy of an entire universe to cross from one dimension to another... they need a hole the size of a universe. The missing wall where 2Δ was is the size your universe used to be. And now... it's the only exit big enough for you to pass through. Do you understand?"
The triangle stared at him silently. There was that hard, heavy look in his eye. It was awful to see. He did understand.
"If you don't come now..."
"We came up with a way to fit my entire universe into this one," the triangle said. "If I ever want to leave, we'll invent a way to get it back out."
"Your universe didn't fit in without incinerating it."
The triangle tapped the side of his hat with a finger; somewhere inside it was the speck that used to be his universe—the seed of a big bang. "It's travel-sized now. The next time will be easier."
For the first time since seeing the awful ruin of Dimension 2 Delta, the Axolotl forced himself to turn his fearful gaze chronologically forward. He squinted toward the hazy, far-flung future; and then he gave the triangle, in the present, a sorrowful look. "No, it won't," he said. "But I'll do what I can for you."
The triangle stared sullenly at him, unmoved by the offer. "I don't see what you're getting out of helping me. Everyone else is dying to send me to ghost jail or however things work around here."
"Isn't it enough to help you just because you exist and that makes you worth it?"
"If you ever, ever say something like that again, I'll kill you. I will find a way."
He wasn't particularly surprised. But that was truly what the Axolotl believed—and believed strongly enough to guide everything else he did.
The things this triangle had done were too ghastly for even an ancient, experienced god to fully wrap his head around. Without exaggeration, he might have done the worst thing anyone anywhere in the multiverse had ever done.
But.
But if the Axolotl could prove that he, the worst person ever, was worth giving a second chance—that he could change, that he could show remorse for what he'd done, that he could be a force for good in the multiverse... then he would have proven that everyone, no matter what, was worth it.
The Axolotl had been voted Most Adorably Idealistic, but he'd never been called soft. His ideals were harder than diamond and sharper than obsidian. He hadn't decided to protect the triangle in spite of the impact that might have on the multiverse; he was protecting him because of the impact it could have.
The Axolotl was a god of justice, of monsters, of second chances, and through his actions he could shape what justice meant throughout the multiverse as if he were sculpting clay; and he thought a small, sharp little equilateral triangle would make a perfect sculpting tool.
"In truth, I just don't believe in punishment. Not even for you." The Axolotl lay a forefoot on Dimension Zero's bubble. "But I don't see why you trust me." Because it was clear the triangle did. He'd trusted the Axolotl to judge the character of the other gods. He'd kept looking toward him like he was trying to gauge his own situation based on the Axolotl's reaction to it. He'd admitted the truth about the remains of his universe and his plans for it. It seemed like the Axolotl was the only one the triangle trusted in all this mess.
The triangle thought that over; then said, "You seem like a grade-A sucker."
He laughed. "I'll try to live up to your opinion of me." He had a guess what kind of people this triangle thought were suckers. The charitable; the caring. The people who didn't think that seeing the worth in everyone was a kind of illness.
"You should know, I intend to legally register my tank as a purgatory. I'll probably submit my application before the end of the week. If you claim it as your afterlife, you'll be transferred to my tank for holding while awaiting trial to decide your final afterlife."
"Ugh, now it all makes sense: you're starting a cult! I don't wanna join your cult, frills—I've got my own."
"But you do want to go straight to your lawyer's office if you're about to go on trial for your sins," the Axolotl said pointedly. "I don't intend to house anyone in my tank permanently. It will just be a transfer place for clients preparing for trial or figuring out where they want to go next—another afterlife, reincarnation... You're already technically dead; you can request at any time to come to my tank, and you'll be there."
"Sounds great for your other clients! But I'm not planning to go on trial and I don't want to be in an afterlife," the triangle said testily. "I'm pretty sure we've been over this!"
"I know you don't. I wish you didn't have to face it. But when you have no choice," the Axolotl said. "When you need it. When your time comes to burn like your people—" (the triangle flinched) "—call me. I'll offer you a second chance at any time."
"Low blow," the triangle muttered. "Don't put yourself out on my account. I'll be fine by myself."
"I'm sure." The Axolotl suspected he'd be putting himself out on the triangle's account for a long time. "What's your name? Your real name."
The background hiss of cosmic noise roared louder. The echoes of billions of erased ghosts said, "THE NAME OF THE MURDERER IS—"
With a flinch, the triangle cranked the distant dance music louder so it spilled cacophonously out of Dimension Zero again. It was too late, though. The Axolotl had heard the triangle's real name.
He pretended he hadn't. He waited.
The triangle didn't answer for a long moment. "You probably wouldn't be able to pronounce it."
"Maybe not." He'd seen how the triangle had winced hearing the cloud try to pronounce the name of some other shape. "I still want to know who you are."
He wrestled with his words; then finally gave up and asked his question. "What... is this place? We're not in the third dimension. When I—freed my dimension, I expected to go up; but we went... down. I didn't know there was a down." He confessed his ignorance in a near whisper, almost drowned out by his own music.
"You're in Dimension Zero." But that wasn't right. Dimension Zero was—should be—a point, and it's impossible to be "in" a point. A point simply is. "You are Dimension Zero."
The triangle said, "Then call me King Zero."
The Axolotl considered that. "Yes," he said. "I think that is your name."
Someone shouted, "Clear the way!" One worker at the construction site was looking directly at the Axolotl. "That means you! Unless you wanna be boiled frog legs!"
"I'm not a frog," the Axolotl muttered; but, he turned one last time to newly-crowned King Zero, said, "Call me," then hastily swam to the safe side of the orange cone barricade.
"Five, four, three..."
The Axolotl watched the triangle—and the triangle watched him—until the detonation. The big bang went off in a flash of light bright enough it would have incinerated anyone in the vicinity had it not been contained to a flat plane.
When the Axolotl looked away from the light, the afterimage of a triangle was burned into the center of his vision.
Dimension Zero was sealed off from the rest of reality—locking its king in for the next trillion years.
####
When the triangle said his name was "King Zero," of course, he wasn't speaking English. English wouldn't exist for a long time. The name King Zero is simply a convenient translation.
The English word "zero" comes from the French zéro. Zéro comes from Italian zefiro. Zefiro comes from Medieval Latin zephirum. And zephirum comes from the Arabic صِفْر—ṣifr.
####
Centuries ago, in the dream of a naive, trusting human, the human asked in Arabic, "What should I call you?" And King Zero responded, "Call me Ṣifr."
And years later, a dreaming human asked in Medieval Latin, "What should I call you, o muse of mathematics?" And of the two Latin words descended from his current Arabic nickname, Ṣifr responded with the one he thought was closer: "Call me Cifra."
A dreaming human asked in Old French, "What's your name?" And he replied, "My name's Cyffre."
Speaking Middle English, he told a dreaming human, "My name's Siphre."
And in Modern English, he told Edward Bishop Bishop, "The name's Cipher. But you can call me Bill."
In a year's time, and two years before his death from sleep deprivation, Edward would write Flatworld, a book about a 2D shape and his Muse journeying up to the highest dimensions; and also all the way down, below the spaces and planes and lines, to the self-absorbed King Zero, buried in the point-sized zeroth dimension, who thought a whole universe was contained inside him.
####
(It's FINISHED. 🎉🎉🎉
Hi y'all, if you just joined us for this Axolotl plot arc, usually this is a post-canon human Bill fic. I took a break from the main plot for one week to post a one-chapter flashback and then it was nine chapters. This bitch is 50k words. It's a novel unto itself.
Anyway if you only showed up for this story about the Ax, it only exists in service of a much longer story; so if you enjoyed this check out the rest of the fic. This is technically chapter 69 (lol). (If human Bill isn't usually your thing, I've been told that this is The Human Bill Fic For People Who Don't Like Human Bills because Bill is clearly very much a triangle unhappily trapped in a human body, rather than just chill with being human—so you might wanna give it a shot.)
And for the regulars who are already reading the whole fic: OH MY GOD IT'S FINALLY FINISHED, WE'RE FREE, WE CAN RETURN TO THE PRESENT. Listen I love the Ax and his bizarre but unbending morality, but guys. Guys. I miss Mabel so much.
Pre-warning that I may end up needing to skip a chapter or two before the end of the year, because work's piling a LOTTA extra work on me this month and I might just flat out not have time to edit & do art. I'm up at 3 a.m. editing & queueing this post and I was up til 3 a.m. another night doing the art because I HAVE NOT HAD TIME this week to do it any earlier. I did this because I love y'all.
No that's a lie, I did this because I want to FINISH this DANG ARC. That's my birthday gift to me.
Anyway lemme know what y'all think!! 💕)
#bill cipher#euclydia#(for the art & the chapter)#the axolotl#gravity falls axolotl#(for the chapter even tho he isn't in the art lmao)#gravity falls#gravity falls fic#gravity falls fanart#fanart#my art#my writing#bill goldilocks cipher#(I'm queueing this at 3:30 am and i'm so tired i almost hit 'post' instead of scheduling it lmfao)#(It's done it's done it's finally done)
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yandere!batfam/damian’s twin!reader
stepmom selina anyone?? anyone interested in some stepmom selina?? (me, i am)
i feel like selina would be such a girl mom but also i have this image of damian’s twin being like his opposite. sooo i think the dynamic between her and selina would be fun cause it’s like black sheep & white sheep.
selina would try and teach her the art of stealth and reader would teach her the art of idk friendship?? no but fr i feel like reader and selina would be such a fun duo. bruce’s girls tbh like they team up and they’re unstoppable. also can you imagine the boy advice selina would give? “yeah just steal one of his prized possessions and he’ll come after you. works every time 😏” like okay thanks queen! in terms of like yandere behavior, i feel like she’s one to plant the little seeds of doubt in reader’s mind about others. like “aw sweetie it’s okay, you’re way too good for them! you never do anything wrong 🥹.” meanwhile the person in question is filing for bankruptcy cause their valuables are gone.
barbara is so ‘cool older sister’ coded it’s actually insane. she’s incredibly smart and good with tech, plus she’s really pretty and cool as hell??? reader is like “hiii hello hiii ” and she INSTANTLY becomes her newest role model.
her like ‘yandereness’ would probably be similar to tim’s but instead of trying to keep reader home, she more so just watches her. like if reader wants to go to a party and it’s on a bad corner of town, barbs will give her directions to go to avoid the most trouble. probably the least likely to kill someone tbh i just can’t see her doing it.
reader and cassandra they were both raised by assassins so they probably bond over that and then how life is after leaving. it’s canon that cass can speak (which we’ve seen her do) but she uses body language instead of words. with this, i like to think that she can teach reader how to read people easier. you know, as a little bonding activity! also damian is canonically good with music (the violin specifically i believe), so reader is likely the same. so now just imagine reader playing an instrument while cass dances 🙏.
cass’s type of yandere is mostly just watching from the shadows. like reader brings a boyfriend home and cass is in the corner standing like mothman. if anyone does reader wrong TRUST cass will be kicking the hell out of them 🙏🙏.
stephanie, like duke, is the closest to the normal sibling experience one can get 😭 but tbh i see her as being more as a best friend that’s a ‘sister figure.’ plus i like stephcass so screw you that’s canon now. having improvised fashion shows at 4am, gossiping about everything and everyone (which she then tells cass but shhhh), having self care days like that’s her bff! with steph i feel like she’s not the type to actually attack anyone directly, but instead just telling cass and/or tim about whatever (or whoever) it is reader is having problems with. now if they’re patrolling together and reader gets attacked? yeah she’ll beat the other person up! (or at least get a couple hits in if reader already took care of it)
now that the fam is written for, please please please send any requests y’all wanna see! romantic (outside the batfam ONLY!!! no sweet home alabama here) or platonic, feel free to send an ask or leave a comment!
heyyyy… heyyyy…. how yall doing….? 😔😔 sorry for disappearing buuuut thanks so much for sticking around! sorry if this part doesn’t quite live up to the other two but somehow the girls are harder to write for?? i hope i got them but honestly any criticism would be appreciated. also i kinda skimped over the yandere part for helena so sorry abt that😭. might go back in and change it but who knows.
also i’ve been fixated on conner kent for some reason???? that’s my pookie guys yall dont get it.
anyways love love LOVE yall so much bye byeeee ❤️
#batfam#batfam x reader#dc comics#dcu#platonic yandere#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#yandere batgirls#yandere catwoman#yandere selina kyle#yandere barbara gordon#yandere#yandere oracle#yandere cassandra cain#yandere stephanie brown
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I’m suddenly getting swathes of Lancer hate across my feed… Has something happened in the fandom? “Union is ______ how could they paint them as even remotely good. They allow _____, and I hate the devs they are ______. The whole thing is just 40k with communist veneer”.
Like am I taking crazy pills…? I thought that all of the problems were literally like right there on the tin “we are a utopia in progress! We will obtain it by any means possible even if it means being everything we say we are not/fighting against. As the player you decide what is right. How much will you ignore for someone else’s idea of utopia?” Like doesn’t it mean all the tools to actually change are there and that is the HOPE aspect of all of this?
(Sorry if this in incoherent grammar is a weak point and I pulled something in my back simply standing up. Now I am sad and crook backed in spasmodic pain)
This isn't an argument I feel super enthusiastic about stepping into, because it gets the most annoying sort of people in your mentions eager to maliciously misrepresent what you say.
However, yeah, there are some pretty terrible readings of Union floating around. I'd invoke "media literacy" because think that a lot of this comes from people not really holistically engaging with the fictional future history of Lancer, but also from a sort of dogmatic purism that requires future societies to be flawless, else they're irredeemable.
It is important to note that ThirdComm is the direct descendant of two highly imperfect societies. FirstComm was formed as a response to the Three Great Traumas of discovering the Massif Vaults (and thus that they were the inheritors of a fallen world), the wars over the Massif Vaults, and the discovery of the lost colonies, all of which collectively showed humanity how close it had come to total extinction.
FirstComm decided that it had a responsibility to ensure that humanity never risked extinction again. It manifested this by trying to colonize every habitable planet it could find, pumping out ship after ship to seed the cosmos with as much human life as it possibly could. This led to problems when it encountered civilizations like the Karrakin Federation and the Aun, who had been carrying humanity's torch just fine by themselves, thank you very much.
SecComm was an Anthrochauvinist fascist state. The book defines it thusly:
We can see a lot of Anthrochauvinist historical romanticism in the mech naming schemes of Harrison Armory, SSC and IPS-N - the fact that Harrison Armory names its mechs after great military leaders of pre-Fall Earth history, IPS-N does the same with naval figures, and SSC uses the names of Earth animals. Even the GMS Everest is named for a mountain on Earth. It's very Cradle-centric.
Anthrochauvinism was, to be clear, largely just an excuse for colonialism and hegemony. Atrocities could easily be justified under by stating that whoever they're being committed against were a threat to the Continuance of Humanity - a term that SecComm got to define.
It's also at this point that we have to zoom in from broad sociopolitical points to address one very specific piece of history: the New Prosperity Agreement. This was signed to prevent the outbreak of a Second Union-Karrakin War, and mandated that the Karrakin Houses would maintain privileged levels of autonomy within Union, and that they would be granted colonial rights to the entire Dawnline Shore. This agreement, struck in 3007u, basically defines much of the current political situation today.
ThirdComm was a final and inevitable reaction to the atrocities, abuses and excesses of SecComm. The unspeakable horrors of Hercynia were the spark, but I need to stress how little Hercynia actually mattered in the larger Revolution - at the start of NRfaW, it's explicitly stated that almost nobody in the galaxy even knows where it is, let alone what happened there. The Revolution was a generalized response to SecComm's tyranny, with no single rallying cry.
The Revolution might also have failed entirely, but for a critical error by Harrison Armory: pissing off the Karrakin Trade Baronies. After getting kicked off Cradle, the Anthrochauvinist Party organised a fleet at Ras Shamra to try and retake Cradle. Simultaneously, however, they were attempting to secure protectorate agreements to steal worlds in the Dawnline Shore out from under the KTB. Putting these two together and making five, the KTB assumed that the fleet was pointed at Karrakis, and started the First Interest War.
The First Interest War initially favoured the KTB. They smashed the fleet above Ras Shamra and simultaneously conquered the moon of Creighton in the Dawnline Shore. However, they underestimated just how ruthless Harrison I was - he "retook" Creighton by relativistic bombardment, and then conquered four of the 12 worlds of the Dawnline Shore with mechanised chassis, a technology the KTB had not adopted and had no counter for.
To prevent further loss of life, Union was eventually forced to broker a peace agreement that saw Harrison I handing himself over to Union justice in return for Harrison Armory's continued sovereignty, and the KTB joining Union as a full member state.
So, with that historical context out of the way, let me get to the second part of this absurd essay I'm writing.
Third Committee Union isn't a civilization that arose from whole cloth. It's shaped by five thousand years of Union history, six thousand years of post-Fall history, and six thousand years of pre-Fall history before that. It is, ultimately, an extremely well-thought-out and well-worldbuilt fictional polity, in that all of its imperfections come from traceable root causes in its history.
Why does ThirdComm permit the abuses of the KTB? Because to stop them, it would likely have to go to war, and such a war would butcher billions. Worse, to do so, it would probably have to ally with Harrison Armory and make horrific concessions.
Why does ThirdComm permit the expansionism and cryptochauvinism of the Armory? Because to stop them, it would likely have to go to war, and such a war would butcher billions. Worse, to do so, it would probably have to ally with the KTB and make horrific concessions.
Nobody in CentComm likes that Harrison Armory are empire-building expansionists. Nobody in CentComm likes that the KTB has a hereditary nobility and enforces blockades against planets that rebel against it. The problem is that ThirdComm is, in historical terms, still relatively new. They've been around five hundred years, and compared to the 1600 years that SecComm was around and the 2800 years FirstComm existed for, that's not very much.
ThirdComm is attempting to decouple itself from the Cradle-first politics of its predecessor, and to amend the many, many atrocities committed in the name of Humanity. It is not easy to do any of these things. SecComm was defined almost entirely by the fact that if it didn't like what you were doing, it would send in the military as a first response. Every time ThirdComm chooses to do the same, its legitimacy erodes, because the mission of ThirdComm is to prove that diverse, vibrant and compassionate human civilization can exist without devolving into war and bloodshed. ThirdComm always tries diplomacy as a first response because if it doesn't, millions of people could die.
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event masterlist
crack open a pomegranate // Jack Hughes (Just Friends)
Jack is drunk.
He’s been well on his way for hours, now, a steady climb that’s honestly been entertaining to watch. After all, he deserves a chance to let loose a little. Celebrate with family and friends. Jack loves New Year’s Eve. You’ve known it about him for nearly as long as you’ve known him in general. He likes the time of year, he likes the partying part of it, and most of all, this year, he hasn’t stopped talking about kissing you at midnight.
It’s your first New Year’s Eve together. It’s sweet.
Which is why, as it creeps close to midnight, you’re surprised to find that Jack is nowhere in sight. You’re chatting with Nico in the living room, laughing as he tells you a story about Jack from their last road trip, when Luke comes stumbling towards you, eyes wide.
“Hey. Jack’s drunk.” Luke spits out.
You nod. “It’s New Year’s, Luke.”
“Yeah, but- he’s- he has a knife.” Luke adds.
You stand up in a panic. “Next time, lead with that.”
You’re relieved to find no injuries when you stumble into the kitchen behind your boyfriend’s younger brother. Jack’s standing at the counter, something red in his hands, a large knife laid out on the granite next to him. He looks up at you and Luke and scowls.
“You weren’t supposed to tell her,” he sighs. “You promised.”
Luke huffs. “That was before you pulled out the giant knife.”
You move towards Jack, brows furrowed. It’s a pomegranate, in his hands, you realize- it looks a bit worse for wear, a bit dented. You cock your head at Jack.
“It’s good luck,” he says, with a sigh. “I was trying to surprise you. But apparently I don’t know how to open a pomegranate.”
You smile at him, and he returns the expression, albeit sheepishly. There’s a piece of hair falling in his face, and you brush it out of the way. Then you slip the knife off the counter, away from him.
“Can I help?” You ask.
He nods, his cheeks going pink.
“Grab a bowl of water, would you, Luke?” You ask.
“What, is the pomegranate gonna give birth?” He shoots back.
“Do you want red splatters all over your counters?” You ask. Both of them shake their heads. “Then get the water.”
Luke gives you a mock salute and gets to work. Meanwhile, you set about cutting the pomegranate, trying to recall the instructions one of your friends gave you. Jack watches, enthralled. It’s not perfect, but when you hand it off to Jack, you think it’ll work.
“Now try breaking it open,” you nod at him.
Jack, starry eyed and smiley, pulls at the fruit with his hands. It cracks open, revealing the bright red seeds inside. He grins wider.
“Pretty,�� you say, leaning close.
“Mhm,” Jack agrees.
When you look up, he’s looking at you.
Luke clears his throat and hands over the bowl of water. You take one of the pieces and dunk it underneath.
“And then we take the seeds out like this, so that if they pop the juice doesn’t go everywhere,” you tell him. Jack nods along. You scoop a few seeds out of the bowl. “And there we go. For good luck!”
“Guys, the countdown’s starting!” Someone calls from the living room.
Luke snatches the seeds from your fingers and hurries away. Jack stays rooted, right there. You stay put, too.
“Guess it is good luck,” Jack says, words slightly slurred. “It got you next to me at midnight.”
You laugh as you wrap an arm around his neck. “Jack, baby. I was always gonna be here.”
He kisses you before the clock actually strikes twelve, but you think it probably doesn’t matter. He’s still kissing you by 12:01, and that’s enough. Between that and the pomegranate, you think you’ll have plenty of luck to last the year.
When he finally pulls away, his lips and face are flushed. He reaches down and fishes a few seeds from the bowl, and hands a few to you before eating his own. The fruit stains his lips bright red, and you thumb at the bit of juice that trickles from the corner of his mouth.
“For good luck,” he repeats.
You laugh. “I was already the luckiest girl in the world.”
His cheeks go red as the fruit between the two of you, and you lean in to kiss the smile off his lips.
#jack hughes x you#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes fic#jack hughes fanfic#jack Hughes blurb#jack hughes fanfiction#jack hughes fluff#nhl fic#nhl blurb#x reader#honey writes#honey’s new year’s rewind
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The 2nd bunch of sprunki designs c: More headcanons under the cut-
Also I may just tag this an an AU at this point (Also to maybe not step on any toes >-<; -) because man… Love coming up with the weird ass setting these guys are in which will probably be explained when I get to Mr. Sun’s design. But the short of it is they all live in an isolated little suburban town with a pretty small population (everyone knows each other to some extent.) and that there are other populations of Sprunkis and stuff such as large cities and rural villages.
OWAKCX
29 He/Him
- Was an accountant traveling to another city.
- Fell off a cliff near the town and sustained head and spinal injuries whilst on the phone. Vineria found him and took him into the town’s clinic to keep him from dying.
- Listed in the town’s documents as “OWAKCX” due to him unfortunately having difficulty speaking post-accident when asked what his name is. His speech has improved significantly since but has issues with volume control and a tic of making a loud startling sounds.
- His actual name is Ozwalt but accepted at this point that everyone calls him OWAKC. “Sure is a name” he says.
- Does not want to go back to the city he lives in due to how long he assumes he’s been gone. Most likely presumed dead.
- Clunkr and Garnold had made him his wheelchair. Said wheelchair can go very fast much to OWAKCX’s inital terror when first using it. Now he’s quite good at speeding across places (it took a bit.).
- Is a bit high strung and easily startled at times. Has bit someone in a panic before and apologized right after.
- Can get a bit snarky and sarcastic, joked about Raddy’s ability to hammer nails (Hits them too hard and they bend,) and got clocked in the head with the hammer he was using. He knows a bit better not to snark Raddy anymore.
- Lives with Vineria in her greenhouse/normal house, He helps her file her taxes and documents for free… Its repayment for literally saving his life. Everyone else has to pay him if they want him to do that for them, Mostly to keep his workload low and so nobody else asks.
- Chronically grits and grinds his teeth and shakes like a cold chihuahua even when under a blanket.
- Had an alt rock phase in high school that is slowly coming back…Not fashion wise but he is blasting it straight into his ears as he works.
Vineria
27 She/them
- Moved to the town because she wanted to have her own greenhouse to grow a variety of plants. Including weed
- Has gotten in trouble in her previous residence for seed bombing golf courses and smoking in her apartment.
- Very chill and laid back.
- Likes to climb trees and go on nature walks.
- Has tasted moss out of curiosity while watching over brud, has gone on record going “mhm not bad!” but tries to give him more normally edible plants.
- Naturally bald, used to just wear a beanie before her wigs.
- Found her first plant wig in the woods near town. Has been raising the same kinds of plants for her other plant wigs though the first one is her favorite and most worn.
- Helps out occasionally at the town clinic after she brought OWAKCX in, Mostly because she wanted to make sure she could check up on him while he recovered.
- Actually calls OWAKCX “Oz” instead as she knows his actual name.
- Has given plants and saplings to people as housewarming gifts.
brud
21 He/They
- Was once in foster care and a group home due to being abandoned, Had ran off when he had aged out of the system.
- Cannot feel pain, This had caused issues such as chewing his tongue to the point of it being a stub and scratching at himself without realizing he’s hurting himself. Has since been trying to be more careful and wears gloves and long sleeves over his hands to deter the picking and scratching.
- Can talk but not very clearly, Prefers to nod or shake his head or if really needed- To sign in sign language or write down what he wants to say. Also squeaks in excitement and whimpers when sad.
- Has terrible eyesight due to his eyes facing separate directions.
- Has a bucket over his sharp single horn to stop it from hurting other people and because he likes the bucket.
- Is a sort of permanent resident at the clinic due to his condition and tendency to get injured
- Hangs out with Simon the most out of the clinic staff. They’re besties.
- Likes earthy tastes which is why he eats moss sometimes.
- Gets mistaken for a child by newer residents.
- Loves to hug people and being hugged
Tunner
56 He/him
- The town’s sheriff who patrols around to help others, Likely gives new people tours. Did this as a hobby for a bit until he was officially given the role.
- Lives a bit farther in the outskirts, Likes his peace and quiet. This is also near Jevin and Sky’s caravan.
- Used to live in a desert town where he was a street performer who played the guitar and fended for himself until he could afford a gun and leave that place.
- Has an old horse named Cornbread who he rode into the town, she can be found grazing near his house.
- Very talkative, specifically loves telling stories about his adventures before he settled down though they tend to get long winded and embellished depending on whether or not he’s trying to make himself sound cooler/ Trying to impress someone. Jevin
- Has lost a tooth in a fight a long time ago and got a gold tooth to replace it. How he lost it in the fight changes every time he retells the story.
#digital art#artists on tumblr#sprunki#sprunki incredibox#sprunki owakcx#sprunki vineria#tw: weed#sprunki brud#sprunki tunner#sprunki fanart#Sunshine Suburbia AU
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‘MILKING’ COW. ★ w. ushijima x m!reader. [requested!]
request by anon. “Ayo, idk if ur reqs are open, but can i request a cow Ushijima fic? Kinda down bad for him. Nothing specific so do whatever! Ty!
warnings. cow!ushi + m!farmer!reader, animal features (cow ears n horns), light overstimulation. nothin much tbh, just soft(?) sex w ushi. <3
author's note. same, anon. same. we love ushi gushi on this blog. also, soft boi hours + horny hours actually go pretty well together?? who would've thunk it?
<500 words yeh kinda short
you couldn't quite put your finger on it, but something about this felt oddly.. backwards..??
ushijima, as he had been doing for the past fifteen minutes, whorishly bounced up and down on your cock. even after both of you having orgasmed not too long ago, he didn't stop—
—oh. right. he was milking you. that's what it was.
wet plap noises, along with wakatoshi's mewls of pleasure filled the room, echoing against the walls. feeling a bit too sensitive, you stopped him, holding his hips in place when he lowered himself. the sight of your beloved, prized cow breeding himself on your cock and moaning like a slut was almost enough to make you cum again. right then and there.
the olive haired man looked at you, eyes filled with pure lust and desire. “i wan’ more.. please-.. ” he whined, squirming on your lap—you stifled a groan at this. “milking master feels so good.. ”
your dick twitched, hearing ushijima's pleas. he was so cute, and that made you want to ruin him. but, he wanted to be the one to do the milking this time—and after hearing him beg, you just couldn't say no. honestly, how could you? why would you?
releasing ushi's hips, you gave him an approving nod. he let out a few whines, quiet at first, but slowly increasing in volume, as he began to move again; at the same speed he did before you stopped him. you in turn, let out your own share of grunts and moans, much to his pleasure.
apparently, ushijima was also sensitive after orgasming earlier– or at least you assumed that from how his inner walls twitched and tightened around your shaft much more than before. adorable. “gonna cum already, baby?” he nodded, holding onto your shoulders a little tighter. “me too. let's cum together, 'kay?” you purred.
about thirty seconds of sloppy riding passed before ushijima came, spilling his load on his and your stomachs. this did not stop him, though—he was overstimulating himself now, but he wanted you to cum inside of him.
you of course granted his wish, as his cunt tightened around you as he continued riding you; which almost immediately brought you to orgasm. a strained groan left your lips as you did so. wakatoshi let out a broken whine as he felt your hot seed filling him up inside. “'s so hot.. ngh.. ” he muttered while trying to catch his breath. “master felt good too, right?”
also breathless, you chuckled softly and kissed his forehead. “of course, honey.” again, you chuckled, seeing his ears twitch slightly as his face lit up—seemingly with happiness and a bit of embarrassment. ushi buried his face in the crook of your neck, and you tried to ignore one of his horns lightly stabbing at your skin.
“c'mon. we have to clean up. i'll make your favorite food for dinner, alright?” you pat him on the head. a content 'mm.' was all you got in response.
#🎬 slutfactory productions#top male reader#seme male reader#x male reader#top reader#dom reader#dom male reader#sub haikyuu#haikyuu smut#ushijima x male reader#ushijima thirsts#ushijima smut#male reader smut#male reader insert#male reader#haikyuu x male reader
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call it what you want 🩰
coriolanus snow x fem!reader
in which mrs snow finds something she must keep. and who his coriolanus to tell her no?
-
the garden behind the presidents mansion was beautiful, no doubt about it. coriolanus snow married his wife back there and he watched her from the window of their bedroom as she worked in it in all her free time and whenever the uv was above a 7.
he insisted he hire a gardener to “protect her pretty hands” but she declined over and over again. it was her outlet. her one “real” hobby that didn’t involve hiding away in the grand library coriolanus built for her.
large green bushes she trimmed so delicately and the stone path she’d managed to put in place her self. orange, red, pink, and yellow flowers everywhere with small blue ones trickled without. coriolanus had put a picnic table in it where they ate on occasion.
the only thing she didn’t like was the fence that guarded it to keep people and cameras out. it wasn’t very pretty, but as first lady secret services insisted, and so did coriolanus. it kept her hard work from public eye and left it only to be seen in photos inside magazines that didn’t do it justice. but the fence seemed to have failed.
kneeled in dirt, her gold necklace with a ‘C’ engraved in it hanging over it, she planted strawberry seeds in hopes they’d actually be good this year. focused on what she was doing, trying to avoid a repeat of last years berries, her focus dropped as she heard a weak meow. she turned around, only to hear it again. she stood, wiping her dirty hands on her pants, walking along the path in hopes of finding the source when suddenly she saw her.
a small kitten. she was light brown with dark spots, almost like a cheetah. mrs snow had not a clue how the animal had gotten in, but it must’ve been fate, she thought. “hi,” she whispered, kneeling down and gently reaching forward. the kitten meowed and she took that as her way of saying “yes, you can pick me up.”
she held the kitten all day long, leaving her in her lap when she read and holding her in one arm as she helped one of the snow’s maids, clarissa, with a task. she was already in love with the small animal as she waited for her husband to get home, ready to beg and plead to keep it.
“hmm,” she hummed gently to the kitten. she sat in her lap at the piano, mrs snow’s fingers gently playing soft chords as she stared down at her. “what about… lorelei?” the kitten stood and did a little spin bringing a laugh out of her. “you like that?”
“like what?” coriolanus echoed from the foyer, dropping his keys on the table. “i didn’t know you were having company, darli-”
“suprise,” she said with a smile, standing from the bench, holding the kitten to her chest. “i found her in the garden. i don’t know how she got in but,” she frowned, running a finger down her nose. “it rained last night, it must’ve been awful.”
coriolanus stood over her, a firm hand on her shoulder. “well, you must know we can’t keep it,” he said as if it was obvious. his hand brushed over his wife’s head, refusing to acknowledge the cat because he was sure if he did he’d give in.
“no i don’t. why can’t we?” she moved out from his touch, holding the kitten up to his eyes. “please, coryo?”
“no,” he swallowed, doing his best not to give into her temptation. they couldn’t have a cat. it didn’t seem… scary to him. not presidential, not like the pet of a man who led a country and 12 districts.
but his wife was persistent. she frowned up at him, holding the cat to her chest as she purred. “coryo,” she whined. “look at her. she’s just a baby. her mom was out of sight, i looked, and she already likes me. she even picked out her name.”
“i said-”
“please?” she gave him her best puppy eyes, her free hand on his chest.
coriolanus bit the inside of his cheek before sighing. “i guess.” he stumbled back as his wife pulled him into a side hug, kissing his cheek over and over again. red lipstick prints covered his face as she offered him the cat which he took with a small smirk. “what name did she pick?”
“lorelei,” she smiled.
“hm,” he nodded, holding the creature awkwardly. “i like it.” after a few moments he looked up. “you’re impossible to say no to, you know that?”
his wife only smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder. “you love me.”
“you’re a master manipulator and i’m an easy target or i love you, call it what you want.”
“i’ll call it you love me,” she said, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him softly.
“then i guess i’ll call it that, too,” he said, his arm holding her close to him as the pair smiled at the new member of their family.
saw this kitty on pinterest and knew what i had to do.
I LOVE CATS!!!!!!!!!
#cantspellcatswithoutTS
#katerinasas#coriolanus snow fluff#coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow x female!reader#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus snow imagine#cats#taylor swift#the hunger games#thg tbosas#tbosas#coryo x reader#president snow
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be bold ⠀ྀི
⠀ྀི in which you get monkey d. luffy to answer a question that he gets a lot ⠀ྀི
cw ⠀ྀི minors dni! black!fem reader in mind but read as you please, post!timeskip luffy, explicit smut with no plot, inappropriate use of luffy’s devil fruit, tummy bulge, praise, unprotected p in v (wrap it up, folks!), overstimulation maybe
word count & thoughts ⠀ྀི 294, lowercase intended, reblogs & comments are greatly appreciated
“bold question but… luffy, if i asked you to stretch it for me, would you do it?”
that question was how you ended up underneath your captain. monkey d. luffy.
your boldness plus his boldness was a recipe for out of pocket ideas and actually trying out those out of pocket ideas.
he held you down by your wrists with this wide grin on his face while fucking into you relentlessly. he bit his lip while watching you. he had stretched his cock so far that he was able to see an outline of it from your tummy. while it was too much for you, you didn’t regret asking him such a question.
as he plunged himself into you, his free hand began to rub against your clit causing your loud cries to become quieter the closer you got to your peak.
“oh my- fuck-” your mouth open with only small squeals and whines coming out. you were feeling an intense amount of pleasure that you hadn’t truly experienced before. “you’re so close, pretty… i feel it… you’re being so good- ah-” luffy praised with a small stutter.
after he’d said that, you felt this warmth spill into you yet he kept going, pushing his seed into you with each thrust. he let your wrists go and slowed his pace, sensually grinding his cock inside of you as he stretched it just a little bit more.
your legs went around his waist as whines left his lips. by this time, he had you seeing stars with this sensation building up. luffy found your lips, pressing his against them as you began to completely fall apart under him.
it wasn't long after he caught his breath and looked at you with a smile. "alright! again!"
© honeyyhivee (2024)
don't use or steal my work, thanks!
#one piece smut#one piece headcanons#luffy smut#monkey d luffy x reader#op luffy#x female reader#black reader#luffy scenarios#luffy x reader
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leon kennedy smut. again.
fem reader!! no warnings its really just pure comfort! mirror sex. rqs are open btw.
chubby but insecure reader!! love you all chubby girls <3 lemme kiss yall
stares lovingly
not many things go past Leon’s eyes. after all, he’s trained to be observant. but, he doesn’t need training to see every little detail about you. of course he noticed, he just never touched this topic because you shifted away from it. his heart broke every time you fixed your shirt because you thought you look fat in it, avoided wearing dresses and skirt, sat and covered yourself in the middle of summer because you just hate your body. he wanted to help, but he just didn’t know how because he’s not good with his words.
instead, he tried to comfort you through his touch. one night, as you were lying down with him, he decided to try something. at first, it was just gentle tugs at your shirt — noticing it doesn’t work, he carefully lifted your shirt a bit. and oh god, this man fell in love all over again.
he loves your tummy. kisses it, cradles it, gently runs his fingers through it. he loves the rolls, everything about it because it’s you! when you’re starting to get insecure, he pulls his head away, just to kiss your forehead.
“I’ll teach you how to love yourself like I love you. You’re so beautiful, every inch of you.”
he quietly murmurs into your ear, before going back to trail his lips down your sternum, cupping your breasts to gently squeeze them,
“Soft,”
“So fucking soft.”
his lips trail down to your stomach again, gently kissing every inch of it, trailing his tongue down your hips, kissing down your pelvis until he reaches your inner thighs. Leon, being the thighs lover, instantly goes to cover them with kisses. he cradles them, squeezing them before standing up and lifting you up and carrying you in front of a mirror.
“I love carrying you, baby,”
he quietly whispers in your ear before sitting you on his lap, right where you can feel his hard cock pressing against you.
“See how much you’re affecting me?”
his voice is soft, but husky. it’s enough to make you squirm under him, which only makes him chuckle and kiss your cheeks.
he tugs at your panties to pull them down, cupping your soft pussy, circling his thumb around your puffy clit. he’s gentle, never going too hard but also not too gentle. it’s just perfect, just like you.
when he thinks you’re ready to take his cock, he finally lifts your hips up a bit, slowly lowering you down so you can take him inch by inch. his fat cock stretches you, making you shiver, but Leon’s got you. he’s gently caressing your stomach, trying to soothe you and make you relax. once he’s fully sheathed inside your warm walls, he grunts in your shoulder,
“Look into the mirror, sweetheart. See how pretty you are? You turn me on so much, can’t take it, you’re too pretty. My pretty little angel got sent from heaven itself for me.”
when he’s sure you’re ready, he starts to thrust his hips up, letting out a soft sigh, mixed with a moan when he feels your walls fluttering around him. it feels good, so fucking good, it’s almost too much for him, but he loves it so much. he loves you so fucking much. he grips your hips, bouncing you up to see your breasts bounce along. it’s so fucking sexy to him, he can’t look away. he makes sure you’re staring right at the mirror, watching how well you’re taking him, how beautiful you really are. one of his hands is on your hip, while another one is keeping your chin up to make sure you’re watching. when you avoid looking, try to look away or close your eyes, he genuinely stops moving, not even letting you ride him.
“Doing so well for me, gonna cum, shit, you’re too good for me.”
he finally speeds up his movements, making sure to nudge that sweet spot to make you see stars. he’s gonna shower you with love and sweet words till you actually cry, no kidding.
he finally cums — filling you up so well, warm seed filling up your insides, painting them snow white. when he cums, he stops moving but doesn’t pull out. instead, he goes on and on to appreciate your body. he’s there to soothe your tears, to make sure you know how much you’re worth, how much he loves you. he’ll go the entire evening showering you with love, bathing you carefully and still going on about your body until you fall asleep, his hand on your stomach as he sleeps, spooning you from behind.
he’ll do everything for you, he wants to help. to make you feel safe, and loved. whenever it’s sex, cuddling, or both since he loves cuddling sex too.
because you’re his everything.
he loves you, and always will. his prettiest girl, his prettiest angel.
his own slice of heaven, his sun, his moon, his star, his heart.
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Somebody posted about caribou cock, which caused me to remember some thinking I had done on the subject of being "raped" by a wild cervine. It's not impossible. Probably pretty easy, actually. I've seen plenty of videos of amorous bucks in rut trying to rape just regular clothed, bipedal people, and many others of them attempting to mate with decoys and even bronze statues that resemble deer. I don't think it would take much. A cheapo tannish fursuit, like the ones they sell at Halloween. Maybe some scent killer, to minimize our human stink, and a very liberal dose of estrus doe urine, a secluded place in deer-infested woods during the rut, maybe a doe-call gizmo. Lube and some inside prep may be a good idea, because you've seen how they mate. At best it will hurt, and at worst be the end for you. Shame deer aren't more considerate lovers. A little probing and then all they have, in one thrust. Not much fun, really- other than how cool it would be to just have had a wild animal fuck the daylights out of you. Feeling all the cum sluice out of his cock in one heave must be awesome though, that's what gets the does to cum. I'd probably cum too. I'd like to try to blow him. Right down the throat like a sword-swallower. He'd cum directly into my esophagus; pity I didn't get the opportunity to taste and swirl his seed around in my mouth though. Semi-domesticated reindeer/caribou would be easy, it's probably possible to teach some young bucks to just be a little more gentle, best done out of rut. But, once they know you can get them off it might not be possible for you to interact with them in a "normal" way until you've got them off again. Animals don't forget you when you allowed them to cum in you, and they're not going to let you forget either.
this is like a BOOK! a GUIDE!
well, can't say i'd exactly want to do all that irl given the risk, but damn it's fun to imagine 🥴
if only i could get a stag to lovingly breed me and care for me though 😔
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Singing and Other Noises
If you have to clean the bathroom on a multi-species spaceship, you can at least take the opportunity to annoy your coworkers with some high volume space shanties. The acoustics of most bathrooms I’ve been in are great, and this one was no exception.
“If you find snacks in high places, adhesive eyes making faces…” I sang, passing the sanitation wand over the floor. “Someone gives thanks to the void, and knives to the droid … Then you might have some humans onboard, onboard, you might have some humans onboard!”
Paint laughed in the hallway. “I don’t think anyone would miss the fact that we have a human onboard.” When I leaned out to grin at her, she continued, “You’re very loud.”
“This is the perfect place to sing!” I said, leaning back and switching to a different song. “You’ll hear us singing loud and proud, in halls and hulls and ventilation chutes. You’ll know us by our range and joy, and we sing better than you!” It echoed nicely.
Paint was shaking her lizardy head. “Are there any quiet human songs?”
“Oh sure,” I said, looking for spots I’d missed. “Calm melodies for a relaxing afternoon, lullabies to soothe babies to sleep, plenty of those. They’re just not as fun. I like the ones where you can really feel your lungs vibrate, you know?”
Paint was giving me that cocked-head look that said she wasn’t entirely sure what I was talking about, but didn’t feel like saying so. “Right. I think that one made the floor vibrate too.”
“Oh, you should meet an opera singer. They can shatter glass.”
“What!” Paint stepped closer, switching her tail. “You are making that up.”
“No, really!” I said. “It’s very impressive. A rare talent for sure.” I got to my feet and emptied the sanitation wand into the trash chute. “My voice is nothing special. Pretty good, I like to think, but no kind of superstar. Still, singing is fun.”
Paint seemed to be having trouble coming up with a compliment. “Your voice is very… clear? Low? Is that a good thing?”
“I like to think so.” I put the wand away and washed my hands. “I can sing the low notes easier than high, which is great, because I enjoy them more. I think that makes me an alto? Contralto? Something like that. Not a soprano, at any rate.”
Even with her orange scales, Paint’s expression was a distinct mask of polite blankness. She nodded, hands clasped together.
“Not much for singing, I take it?” I asked.
Paint exhaled and dropped her hands. “I just don’t see the appeal,” she admitted. “It’s only talking! In a distorted voice!”
I switched off the light and joined her in the hall with a head bob of agreement. “Yeah, I suppose it is. Some of it’s fast and good to dance to, though.”
She pointed at me in excitement. “The dancing does make sense! That’s fun! But I just cannot understand the noises that go with it.”
I shrugged. “Eh, don’t worry too much about it. There’s bound to be lots of things that any given species does that makes no sense to others.”
“Like those shiny rocks you insisted on keeping?”
“Hey, that’s not just me,” I protested. “Zhee and Trrili both wanted some too. And you’ve still got those smelly seed-things that you liked so much.”
Paint raised her snout in pride. “They remain beautiful. Coals, Eggskin, and Captain Sunlight will agree with me!”
“And those are all the Heatseekers on the ship, which is exactly my point.”
A high-pitched noise that I’d been barely aware of grew louder, drifting down the hallway all faint and screechy. I had no idea what it was, and judging by Paint’s expression, neither did she.
“Is that metal scraping?” I wondered.
“I don’t think so,” Paint said.
The sound continued, changing in tone like an alien violin. I turned in place, trying to locate it. “Is that music?”
Paint rubbed her earhole. “It’s unpleasant.”
“C’mon, let’s make sure it’s not actually a problem of some kind.”
“Yes,” Paint said with a sigh. “Ignoring a mechanical failure because we passed it off as horrible music is not something I want on my record.”
I started off down the hallway. “I think it’s this way.”
Ready as I was for a long and mysterious hunt for the quiet shrieking, I was almost disappointed to find it coming from the third door we reached. This was the door to Coals and Trrili’s translation workroom. It was shut. I hesitated over the opening panel, then knocked instead.
The noise stopped.
When the door slid open, it was to a vision of exoskeletoned nightmares, shiny black and red, with pincher arms, mandibles, and a pair of antennae angled into a very irritated expression.
“Hi Trrili,” I said. “Everything okay in there?”
Paint added, “We heard a noise—”
The door shut in our faces. After a moment, the screechy serenade resumed.
I blinked. “Rude.”
Paint had her hands over her earholes. “What is it??”
“Probably not a machine failure,” I said, wincing as the noise approached nails-on-chalkboard levels. “Let’s go ask Zhee.”
We walked very quickly away, and found Zhee outside the kitchen talking to Eggskin. The sound was faint here, but still audible.
“Hey Zhee,” I said cheerfully. “Can you tell us what in the seven spherical black holes Trrili is doing right now?”
Zhee threw his own purple pincher arms in the air. “Butchering a classic,” he exclaimed. “I’ve told her that she’s got the middle part backwards, but she insists it’s a regional variant!”
I glanced at Eggskin, who was just shaking their scaly head. “So it is music, then.”
Zhee folded his pinchers with a flare of antennae. “There’s a skreeking competition at Basal Station,” he said. “She’s under the impression that the judges there will enjoy regional variants that are wrong.”
“I see,” I said, wondering if I should ask the obvious question.
Paint beat me to it. “What’s skreeking?”
“Leg-singing,” Zhee said. “You know.” He moved a hind leg in a way that made a brief screech.
I knew I was staring, but it was either that or burst out laughing, and that was rarely complimentary. You’d think I’d get used to discovering ways that my alien crewmates resembled Earth animals, but you’d be very wrong.
Paint let out a gusty sigh. “I don’t understand that kind of singing either,” she said. “This makes even less sense than the other one!”
“Remember, there’s always dancing,” I told her. “And if it makes you feel better, I have no idea how to dance to the noise Trrili’s making.”
Zhee hissed quietly. “No one could dance to that. Not without tripping over every other limb.”
Eggskin spoke up. “Well, I’m certainly not going to try. Would you three like to help me settle on the primary meal for tonight’s dinner?”
I smiled. “Oh, I’m sure we won’t disagree on anything there.”
~~~
Keen eyes might recognize the shanty lyrics from a couple older posts. I even used one song in The First Time Traveler to Survive, which is a different storyverse entirely, but it's too much fun to leave there. I'm going to say humans invented it twice, and no one's going to stop me!
Anyways, this is the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come! And I am currently drafting a sequel!
#somebody did a lovely recording of one of those songs#but the link isn't working anymore#so I guess I won't share that#more's the pity#my writing#The Token Human#space shanties#humans are weird#haso#hfy#eiad#humans are space orcs#science fiction#writeblr
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Chills Right to the Marrow Part 32
ao3 link| part 1 . . . part 29, part 30, part 31
Eddie ended up needing more than just a week before he was cleared to come home. He needed at least two, and even then, it was all up to the hospital’s physical therapist to determine if he gained enough strength to go home. Where he wasn’t going to get more hurt by living at home.
But he was still coming home. And soon. Which means that Dustin has to get convincing. Steve was supposed to plant the initial seed. Let it ruminate, so by the time Dustin got there, he could hammer the final nail in. But when Dustin pulled out his list of reasons, ready for the spiel, he can barely get a word out before Wayne’s speaking.
“Oh, I already heard all about it,” is what he said. “I can admit that it’s a good plan. Thanks for thinking of it.”
That was easy. Too easy. Did Steve really convince him all by himself?
Either way, the plan was in motion. A few days later, Wayne moves in with Steve. Taking one of the bedrooms upstairs, a few doors down the hall from Steve. Right next to the guest bathroom that would be just his. He was almost never there, but it was better than the motel.
Dustin could tell that he was sleeping a little better. It could be knowing that Eddie was coming home soon, and that he could slow down the house hunting process a little bit. Give more time to find a place that they will both love and spread out the expenses of finding new furniture. Steve already offering storage space in another one of his spare bedrooms and anywhere they need.
It's not like anyone else uses the house.
Time continues to pass, and each day Eddie gets stronger. On the two-month anniversary of the day he woke up from the coma, he takes his first step without any assistance. Human assistance, at least. He is still using mobility aids. But he still did it.
Some days are better than others. The pain has subsided to some extent, but there are days where Dustin visits and Eddie barely moves. Something about pins and needles traveling up his arms and legs when he does. And there are days where he’s really shaky, and nothing can help it.
But he can still come home this week. So, they needed to actually get their asses in gear.
Steve helped Wayne sneak back into his house in the middle of the night to try and salvage some of Eddie’s clothes. Or really, anything that was in Eddie’s room. They were able to save some of Wayne’s stuff too, so he could walk around in something other than the same two outfits and his work uniforms.
The room on the first floor apparently had never even been used. So, Steve had to take the plastic off of the mattress and get some sheets for it. the room was otherwise bare, except for the patterned wallpaper and basic furniture. It wasn’t Eddie though, so it needed some work.
Dustin employed pretty much everyone he could.
“Dustin,” Gareth yelled down the hall. “I have those posters that you wanted, they’re in my garage. Swing by anytime to pick them up.”
It was more posters than Dustin was expecting. Black Sabbath, Dio, Metallica, mixed in with old posters they made for Corroded Coffin, and one old one from Hellfire. There’re a few movie posters mixed in as well from titles Dustin doesn’t even recognize. But it’s good.
Steve finds an old cassette player in his basement. Looks like it had never even been opened. It’s a really nice one too. They were able to find some of Eddie’s cassettes, but most of them where ruined.
It was still something.
“Don’t you think this is, like, a lot,” Mike questions. The posters and picture Dustin had printed out almost entirely covering the walls.
“No,” Dustin says. Going back to unpacking some of the things that they saved from the trailer.
“His room wasn’t even this covered in the trailer,” Lucas adds for some reason. “You don’t think this might be a little overkill.”
Dustin glares at them. “But he didn’t have this gross wallpaper in his trailer.”
“It is not that bad,” El comments from the bed. Her and Max just sitting there, not helping.
“Someone describe it to me, I want to know. Wait,” Max points at Dustin. Somehow knowing exactly where he is and that he was going to describe it poorly. “Someone other than him.”
“It’s literally just a bunch of small red diamonds,” Lucas explains. “Think Steve’s room but slanted and red. But not plaid.”
Max nods. “Yeah, that isn’t that bad. It could be worse. Have you seen the pink flower room.” She gags.
“It still is not that bad,” El defends.
Will and Mike share a look, continuing to unpack a box of books. Steve brings in what should be the last box of things. Considering they were only able to save so much. He looks around at the walls, taking in everything.
“Dustin, I know you want this place to feel like home, but could you leave a little bit of wall uncovered. We don’t want to overwhelm him.”
“He’s not a toddler, Steve,” Dustin groans. “I don’t think he’s going to get overwhelmed.”
Robin comes in to tell Steve something. But gets stopped in her tracks as she looks around the room. “Oh. My. God. That is a lot of posters.”
“Thank you,” Lucas says. Arms crossed while he stands in the corner. “I think we have more than enough on the walls.”
“There’s more?” she questions. “Where were you going to put them?”
“Fine,” Dustin whines. “I won’t put any more posters up.”
Robin leans into Steve. “By the way, your mom’s on the phone.”
Steve lets out a long sigh. “Thank you.”
He walks out of the room, Robin close behind him. The rest of them putting the finishing touches. Lucas and Mike convincing Dustin to take down some of the posters and make the walls look less cluttered. Like Eddie would care about cluttered. Have they seen what his old room looked like.
But he might be able to admit that floor to ceiling posters were a little overkill. He just wanted this place to feel even a little reminiscent of the trailer. Of what Eddie had back home. Is that really so bad?
The next day, they all patiently wait in the living room. Eddie was getting discharged this morning. Meaning that Wayne is bringing him here, right now. Eddie will be in real clothes, out of the hospital. Finally getting back to normal.
Or, as normal as he could possibly be. But still more normal than in a hospital.
Because now, he can eat real food. And get real sleep. That isn’t constantly disturbed by nurses checking on him in the middle of the night. In a bed that is really comfortable. In a house that is constantly quiet.
He might finally start to fully get back to the Eddie that Dustin knew before all of this.
A car pulls up into the drive. Doors slam, and voices can be heard by the door. Steve goes to get the door before the bell rings. They were supposed to wait in the living room, but Dustin can’t help it. He follows.
“Holy shit, Harrington, how tall is this ceiling?”
“I have no clue.”
Eddie’s crutches make soft thumps with every step. Steve shuts the door and lets them know where they can put their shoes. It’s a bustle of voices while Dustin waits for them to turn around and see that he’s there.
That he’s been waiting for this. For so long.
“You know you didn’t have to build that ramp for me,” Eddie says to Steve. Still not turning around.
“I didn’t. I built it for Max. You just get to use it for free.”
Eddie smiles a teasing smile. It’s been a while since Dustin’s seen that. “Aw, taking pity on me, are you, Steve.”
“Just shut up.”
Wayne clears his throat, stopping whatever the two of them were doing. He nods his head toward Dustin still waiting in the hall. Eddie turns his head, finally, and sees him.
Something in the shape of relief fills his face. “Hey, Henderson.”
“You’re here.” Dustin can’t help the wetness in his voice. Or his eyes. He wasn’t expecting to cry, it just happened.
Eddie makes his way over to Dustin. Slightly wincing in pain, but not complaining. He balances his crutches just right so he can pull Dustin into a hug. A proper hug. Dustin’s not sure how long it’s been since he’s hugged Eddie. Too afraid to do in in the hospital.
But he’s not in the hospital anymore.
“Yeah,” Eddie says with more waiver in his voice than he would probably admit. “I’m here.”
tag list (closed): @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar,
@tinyplanet95, @steddie-as-they-go, @slv-333, @littlecelestialmoth, @thatonebadideapanda,
@fandomsanddeath, @marismorar, @wonderland-girl143-blog, @glass-bottle03, @gutterflower77,
@here4thetrama, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @jaytriesstuff, @cryptid-system, @manda-panda-monium,
@resident-gay-bitch, @anaibis, @xxsutherlandxx, @forevermineliv, @mugloversonly,
@gregre369, @n0-1-important, @different-tale-student, @spectrum-spectre, @tartarusknight,
@devondespresso, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @cheertain, @anti-ozzie, @autumncrocusandladybug,
@greeniebean911, @cr0w-culture, @stillfullofshit, @connected-dots, @daisynotquake,
@morgannotlefay, @a-little-unsteddie, @dolphincliffs, @maskofmirrors, @me-and-my-sloth,
@papergrenade, @waelkyring, @sweetheartprincess28, @katouasobj, @astercomoasflores
#chills right to the marrow fic#stranger things#stranger things fanfic#dustin henderson#dustin pov#wayne munson#steve harrington#lucas sinclair#max mayfield#el hopper#mike wheeler#will byers#robin buckley#eddie munson#he's free yall
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Why Jegulus would actually work with their (barely existent) canon personalities:
This isn't a place for a debate so literally don't bother, I'm just trying to articulate to appeal to the 'iT maKEs No seNsE' crowd because while I don't care about canon, some Jegulus haters don't respect you unless you worship it so
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First: James' benefit from it-
To begin with, you have the superiority complex. As much as fans (and Sirius) like to say that Sirius immediately saw through his parents' beliefs when he was born and was a perfect activist from infancy, this is not true. First of all it's highly improbable and much more likely that he told that sort of tale that in order to convince himself and Harry that he was always good, but he isn't and we see that. He is progressive but he still treats Kreacher incredibly poorly, he uses oppressed creatures as jokes and sees no issue with it (yeah, canon-worshippers, sorry but in PoA there is no remorse for the prank, he laughs about it proudly) so he would have had to grow out of most of the behaviours he did have when he was sorted. He would carry some leftover beliefs from his family that James and the others had to help him unlearn. He would be willing to of course but it was still work. Why on earth would James not have reason to think 'I can do it again! They were raised in the same house they're practically the same.' Sirius had described his brother as weak and idiotic so James sees it as an easy win for his ego and the worth of his name, maybe even in Lily’s eyes.
And even when he falls in love and realises he may not be able to change them? Canonically? James wouldn't care. Not before he was 17 at least. He only ever relies on equality when it matters to him. They bully for no reason but target Snape a lot anyway, they already hate him when James sees the opportunity to stand up for Lily, speaking over her wishes instead of with her. He seems more intent on humiliating Snape and making a scene than actually fixing any issues. He's never truly evil but he's not a perfect virtuous angel. So him staying with someone who's morals are compromised wouldn't feel evil to him, he still thinks he's great and perfect, he just loves people who aren't. Let teenage James be morally grey, it's all he ever has been. It would give a pretty cool exploration of his growing maturity in the later school years. There's no real explanation for it apart from 'well it worked for him getting Lily' (which I hate, he nastily jokes about dating her infront of a crowd in exchange for not physically assaulting her friend and then she marries him? Give them more fucking depth than that, it reminds me of too many creeps I know) so it would be kind of cool to explore what could have set him off down the path of becoming a better person. Maybe age or outside pressure but I like the idea of him having a personal relationship that helped him to grow. He's with someone he can never be open to the public with and it's eating away at him because technically he should call it off but he doesn't bloody want to. When it ends, it's all too much and he chooses to flip his life over. He realises how Lily must have felt having Severus turn around on her and force her to leave him; he looks at the war and social climate with more integrity. He begins to change for the better in response to this upheaval of his life and his heartbreak. Also regulus gave him that snitch he was playing with and nobody can convince me he didn't.
Now for Regulus:
The betrayal is the obvious one, he'd always been tentative and naive according to Sirius. Sirius is under the impression he would've just tried to run when it got scary and we can assume he just misjudged him but wouldn't it be interesting if somebody was there to help him embrace his courageous, reckless side? If James sat there whispering words of victory and bravery to him, planting the seeds for his later rebellion? It could also have begun to place seeds of doubt in his mind surrounding the death eaters, even if they did not come to fruition until later. Even if you think he only changed due to Kreacher being hurt, the disproportionate response of sacrificing his entire life over it in some grand display of power is SO JAMES of him.
Then there's the opportunity to explore him on a more personal level. Who is he outside of his family? Was the locket the only secret betrayal or were there more? How does this impact his relationship with Sirius, regardless of him knowing of it or not? It adds even more layers to the meaning of his name and it helps to explore his own doubts before they are ever apparent to his family. James would likely not feel a sense of betrayal in not telling Sirius due to his ego and the fact that British teen boys are just like that™️ with their friend groups. But would Regulus? He would likely feel guilt anyway, but towards his brother? Did he still see him as a family member, as someone worth telling things to, as someone James belonged to? Well never know the canonical answers to this and that's why it's so FUN to explore. The layers to the secrecy and hope in their relationship is amazing.
What are his lingering feelings like after it ended? Hatred, regret, jealousy? And for James- guilt, sorrow, crushed hope?
The timelines add up too- the mark, James growing more mature, the snitch and the bullying of Snape.
And if your argument is 'they're not gay' tell me what makes you think that. Their personality? There isn't one 'way' to be gay. Prejudices? You think gay people are born holding a rainbow flag and chanting peace and love? So may gay ppl are vile to other marginalised groups. James married a woman? Bi people exist.
You don't have to like it, but don't say it makes no sense becuase it can and neither do half of your hcs about wolfstar and the prank and James' sunshine personality and how perfect jily were
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How to get into Gundam
Because fuck it, I was gonna do one of these sooner or later anyway.
So you want to know what this Gundam thing’s about, maybe you like the mecha design, maybe you caught part of an episode one time and want to catch up, or maybe you saw a nice piece of Chamuro fanart and want to go to the source.
But there’s so many shows and timelines that it can be quite daunting on first look, so this guide is intended to give a rough overview.
I would however like to stress two four things beforehand however:
This guide is not intended as “The One True Way” or anything. There’s no harm it coming into it a different way, and these are only my own opinions.
There’s nothing stopping you from just watching one show and leaving it there. You don’t have to watch every single show going, even I’ve only seen most of these, not all. Gundam typically has variations on similar themes - it’s very nice watching multiple shows because they complement one another, but it’s not necessarily required.
I am very much an insider looking out here, so let me know if there’s any details I’ve missed.
I’m not gonna recommend these on a “if you like X, then watch Y basis”, mostly because I don’t personally find genre recommendations helpful, so I’d recommend picking based on promotional material (vibes, if you will).
I’ll be using this chart, supplied by the excellent@l-crimson-l, to illustrate everything.
Gundam as a whole can principally be divided into three sections: Universal Century (or UC), the Alternate Universes (AU’s) and the Build Series.
The AU’s are below the light blue line, near the bottom of the Chart, the Build Series is within the bright green line at the top-right corner of the chart and UC is the big line in the middle. We’ll talk about each of them individually.
The AU’s
The Alternate Universes were conceived as a way to get away from the continuity-heavy nature of Universal Century and provide an easy jumping-on point for new fans. The AU’s are standalone and require no prior knowledge, and are thus an excellent place to start. Honestly, I’d recommend quickly searching some promotional materials (like posters) and just going with the one you find most appealing based on that. They are (in production order):
Mobile Fighter G Gundam (1994)
New Mobile Report Gundam Wing (1995)
After War Gundam X (1996)
Turn A Gundam (1999)
Mobile Suit Gundam SEED (2002)
Mobile Suit Gundam 00 (2007)
Mobile Suit Gundam AGE (2011)
Gundam: Reconguista in G (2014)
Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans (2015)
Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury (2022)
There’s side series and movies and other things besides, but these are the mainline shows, if you will. I have specific notes on a few of them:
Witch From Mercury - It’s of a shorter length than is usual for mainline shows, so consequently it’s a much smaller time investment than the others.
Mobile Fighter G Gundam - While undeniably rad as hell, I would recommend watching another AU first. G Gundam differs from its stablemates in a few key areas, and I find it helps to have a contrast to fully appreciate those differences.
Gundam AGE - is probably the only one I wouldn’t recommend. I didn’t like the art style and the technical explanations just got on my nerves, so I stopped watching.
Turn A and G-Reconguista are technically part of UC as well, but it’s not really crucial information so don’t feel like you have to watch UC first (I’m only including this detail for completionism).
I’ve found all the AU’s I’ve seen to be pretty good, so I’d say that which one you start with really just comes down to personal taste.
The Build Series
Is just kind of doing its own thing. The Build series is basically Buy Our Toys: the series. It’s got a far lighter tone, and I’ve had cause to compare it to pokemon prior. It’s also chock full of references and in-jokes to the other series.
Build Fighters and Build Fighters Try are the ones I’d recommend - they’ve got actual stakes and the fight scenes are really good.
Build Divers and Build Divers Re:rise I can’t recommend - I just find Build Divers aggressively boring. Build Divers Re:Rise is just okay - neither standout good or particularly bad. Its main flaw is that it’s a sequel to Build Divers.
The OVA’s are pretty much bad across the board - I’d particularly recommend avoiding Gundam Build Metaverse.
Universal Century
Universal Century is the big main timeline of Gundam, and is the timeline the original Mobile Suit Gundam from 1979 takes place in. There’s a tendency among certain fans to place UC as the one-above-all of Gundam, but I wouldn’t really go that far. It’s all pretty good, but I wouldnt really say one timeline is better than another (save personal preference, anyway).
Because UC is so big, it can be subdivided a couple times. The primary division is “Mainline” UC versus everything else. Basically there’s four-five shows in Universal Century from which everything else flows. As long as you know roughly what happens in these shows, then you can watch basically anything else in UC and have a good idea of what’s going on. These are (in order):
Mobile Suit Gundam (1979) - sometimes called Mobile Suit Gundam 0079.
Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam (1985)
Mobile Suit Gundam ZZ (1986)
Mobile Suit Gundam: Char’s Counterattack (1988)
With Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn (2010) as a nominal fifth (honestly I feel like you could argue either way).
The rest of the shows are:
Mobile Suit Gundam 0080: War in the Pocket (1989 Three-Episode OVA)
Mobile Suit Gundam F91 (1991 Movie)
Mobile Suit Gundam 0083: Stardust Memory (1991 Thirteen-episode OVA)
Mobile Suit Victory Gundam (1993)
Mobile Suit Gundam: The 08th MS Team (1999 Twelve-episode OVA)
G-Saviour (2000 Live Action Movie) - nobody ever talks about or acknowledges this one, it’s just here for completionism.
Mobile Suit Gundam MS Igloo (2004-2009 Three OVA’s with three Episodes each)
Mobile Suit Gundam: The Origin (2015 Six-Episode OVA, adapted from the Manga of the same name)
Mobile Suit Gundam Thunderbolt (2015 Eight-Episode Series, adapted from the Manga of the same name)
Mobile Suit Gundam: Twilight Axis (2017 episode, adapted from a light novel of the same name. Later rereleased as Gundam Twilight Axis Red Trace, with additional footage)
Mobile Suit Gundam Narrative (2018 sequel movie to Gundam Unicorn)
Mobile Suit Gundam Hathaway (2021 ongoing movie series, very much adapted from the novel Hathaway’s Flash)
Most of the other series relate to events in the aforementioned “mainline” shows in some way, but a lot of the sidestories set during the One Year War require very little introduction (Thunderbolt, 0080 and 08th MS Team). Similarly, works set in “Late UC” (F91 and Victory Gundam) carry on from the other series thematically but don’t have any plot connections, so they can all be watched without any background knowledge of the rest of the Universal Century.
Compilation Movies
Just a quick note here - many of the Gundam series have compilation movies, where either a whole series or part of one are compressed down into a movie. While each movie compares differently, they usually boil down to this: Compilation Movies usually have worse pacing, but really nice animation.
One of the great things about Gundam is that different shows offer variations on themes, so seeing how different characters react to similar situations, or how different settings change their approaches can make it incredibly rewarding.
I haven’t seen enough of SD Gundam to make any sort of recommendations there, and Manga is something I might touch on another day.
EDIT: Oh hey also: You can watch a good chunk of these on YouTube, for free, officially. The Official Gundam.Info YouTube channel rotates the series shown on its channel periodically. I think it’s got F91 and SEED on there currently? But it’s had Wing, 00 and Witch From Mercury before. Also all of the Build Fighters series are there.
So yeah, that’s a thing.
#gundam#ramblings#mobile suit Gundam#Gundam 0079#char aznable#amuro ray#mobile suit zeta Gundam#mobile suit Gundam ZZ#char’s counterattack#Gundam unicorn#mobile fighter g Gundam#Gundam wing#Gundam seed#Gundam seed destiny#after war gundam x#turn a Gundam#Gundam ZZ#zeta Gundam#Gundam narrative#Gundam igloo#Gundam 0080#Gundam the 08th ms team#Gundam origin#g Gundam#Gundam F91#Gundam g-witch#Gundam iron blooded orphans#the witch from mercury#Gundam reconguista in G#that’s all the tags I can fit
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