#I got some very positive feedback and it was super encouraging ;u;

[deathlessdev]

Two vaguely-familiar weirdos! I realized I've never actually drawn these idiots properly, so I thought I'd try a super-simple, limited-palette rendition and I think it turned out pretty well.

There were some strong creative liberties --- notably, Yusha isn't so skeletal most of the time. But I thought it would create a nice contrast with Aeva, and he does spend most of his time getting torn to pieces, so here we are.

[sunflowershouto]

the waiting game (asahi azumane x fem!reader)

𝐚/𝐧: hi my beans! my first haikyuu imagine with my favorite haikyuu boy, and i am super super happy with how it came out! i put a lot of time and effort into this one so honestly any feedback or support would be incredible :,) let me know if this was too long, and you'd rather it be split into parts or if you want more longer fics like this! and ofc, lmk what you thought of the story! thank u for reading, my beans! enjoy!

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Asahi and Y/N have always had "some unspoken thing." The trouble is the 'unspoken' part.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: slowburn friends to lovers!

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4.8k

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐬: gethsemane - dry the river

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄 ‧₊˚✩彡.

The air was sweltering, but the heat couldn’t stop Karasuno from giving it their all. Y/N couldn’t help but watch in awe from the sidelines of the practice gym as the boys flew across the court, not holding back despite the heat, despite the fact that this was only a practice match. The first years were showing exceptional promise, and while their blind fast attack was certainly the flashiest thing on the court, she found her gaze drifting back towards the team’s ace. Despite his timid demeanor, Azumane exerted a level of control over his surroundings that Y/N had always found herself enraptured by—though if Tanaka and Noya were to ask, she would be quick to claim that she merely enjoyed his playstyle, and respected him as an athlete. While both those things were true, there was something deeper that kept her eyes on Karasuno’s ace, a feeling that was too powerful, too intimidating for her to name. Her eyes shone as she watched him leap into the air with near-perfect execution, his arm swinging forward until the flat of his hand collided perfectly with Kageyama’s toss, sending the ball rocketing to the far corner of the other side of the court. She couldn’t help but smile to herself as he exchanged congratulations with his teammates, that warm, inviting, but sheepish grin splayed across his features. And as his gaze flickered over towards the sideline and his eyes locked with hers, she was overcome with the joy of that smile now being directed at her—and suddenly ‘enraptured’ wasn’t a strong enough word to describe what she was feeling.

‧₊˚✩彡.

Asahi was well accustomed to Y/N attending their practices—she was, after all, one of Karasuno’s managers.

As long as he could remember playing volleyball, she had been there to cheer him on, always there with a word of encouragement, whether he’d played particularly well or not. Being used to her presence, however, did not make him any less acutely aware of it.

He’d gotten good at spotting her in his periphery over the years, letting her presence encourage him to work harder, play better. He loved having her near to him; it was energizing. Daichi and Suga weren’t totally oblivious to Asahi’s fondness of Y/N, and had once asked him if he found it distracting that she was always around. At first, he had gotten flustered and defensive—Y/N was a friend, and while she was very dear to him, he just didn’t see her that way. Daichi and Suga accepted his answer and seemed to leave it alone after that, but Asahi had been mulling the question over in his head ever since.

A distraction?

Y/N was in his periphery again as he stepped into the front row, and it was hot enough outside to fry an egg on the sidewalk, but Asahi wasn’t distracted at all. Not in the slightest. In fact, as Kageyama got into position and tossed the ball up towards him, Karasuno’s spiker was one-hundred-percent determined to make every second of this practice count. He leapt up into the air and slammed his arm forward, landing the ball perfectly in the opposite corner of the court.

“Nice, Asahi!” Noya cheered from behind him, and Asahi turned to give the libero a sheepish smile before thanking Kageyama for the set-up.

And once all had been said and done, he couldn’t stop himself from glancing over to the sideline, where she was standing, and he met her eyes, and he smiled just a little bit wider, a little bit warmer. He nodded towards her, and she nodded back, and then he got back to the game.

A distraction?

‘No,’ Asahi thought to himself. ‘Not a distraction. An anchor.’

‧₊˚✩彡.

Weeks had passed, and the team was beginning to skyrocket its way back up the prefecture rankings. Y/N could see in the boys’ faces during practices that they were getting fired up, that the goal of attending Nationals was suddenly becoming something tangible.

However, with that newfound hope, came something a little more bittersweet, something that the third-years were trying their best to avoid confronting: This was their last year. No matter how the season ended, no matter how far up the bracket they climbed, this was the year that the third years would play their very last game with Karasuno. This was the year of endings and goodbyes.

The overnight training camp had been going smoothly so far, and after she and Shimizu had finished cleaning up the dinner hall, Y/N excused herself to find a place to get some time alone. As much as she loved the team, Tanaka and Hinata’s… fervor could wear on even the most patient of souls. Their incomprehensible shouts grew fainter as she moved down the hall to one of the unoccupied rooms, the tension already easing away as her surroundings fell into a state of peaceful quiet.

Gently, she slid the door open, blinking in surprise to find the room occupied, a silhouette illumined by the silvery moonlight that filtered in through the far window.

Y/N smiled, shutting the door behind her and stepping into the room. She’d know him anywhere. “Asahi,” she called.

“Hm? Oh—L/N.”

Even in the dark, she could see that smile, and felt that rush of warmth again. “Shouldn’t you be resting?” she asked, moving to stand by his side at the window, her features coming into the moonlight. “You’ve got a long day ahead of you, you know.”

Asahi chuckled softly, his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck, his eyes turned up towards the moon. “I know, I know. Don’t tell Daichi, though. Please? He’s so scary when he’s mad...”

“I won’t tell,” Y/N laughed, shaking her head. “But seriously, what’s got you up?”

“Just a lot on my mind, I guess,” he replied earnestly, turning to look at her, his gaze lingering on her face for just a moment too long—long enough to make her chest tighten and her breath catch slightly. When he finally looked away, he creased his brow, a frown etched into his features. “This really is our last year. And I almost quit because I was scared. I’m such an idiot...”

“Hey.” Her voice was soft but stern with an expression to match, and her hand came up to his shoulder. “You didn’t quit. That’s what matters; you came through for the team when they needed you, and you’re here now. You just needed a little encouragement, that’s all. That’s all it is, Asahi.”

He hummed in response, looking up into the sky again, corners of his lips turning up again slightly. She’d always had that effect on him—the ability to soothe, to reassure, to anchor. “I’m not sure if I’m ready to say goodbye. To any of it. To the team, to the other third years. To… To...” To her.

“Asahi…?” Y/N was trying to meet his eyes now, but his head was turned away, and she couldn’t seem to find the right words. Her heart was thundering in her chest so loud that she was sure he’d be able to hear it, and why couldn’t she get him to look at her? “Hey. Hey, Azumane, look at me.”

Reluctantly, he turned his head, finally locking eyes with her.

And God, if that look didn’t just blow the whole room away. The sheen of moonlight in his eyes, the refraction of light off the window that seemed to bath his skin in silver, the way that her heart was just beating and beating and beating.

Y/N leaned forward on an impulse, on a prayer. She leaned forward and she kissed him.

‧₊˚✩彡.

“I’m not sure if I’m ready to say goodbye. To any of it. To the team, to the other third years. To… To...” To her.

Asahi felt frozen. What was he saying? Y/N was his friend, his manager, his… his anchor. But the way he was feeling right now, the way he’d been feeling about her for weeks, or maybe even months now… What was this? And was it worth the risk that came with these kinds of feelings?

“Hey. Hey, Azumane, look at me.”

His breathing steadied at the sound of her voice, the way that it always did, and slowly, he turned to look at her. Her eyes shone bright against the dark—they shone with the compassion that was so characteristic of her, but also with uncertainties of her own, uncertainties that he could only begin to wonder at.

The longer they stared into each other, the further away he seemed to fly, until he was far, far away from the little spare room, far away from Miyagi, far away from Japan. The spare room was a cathedral, and she was there too, and the moonlight was coming down around them in streams of silver silk. In that moment, she was many things to him, but an anchor was not one of them.

And then she moved, and her lips were on his, and he was kissing her back.

And then he came crashing back into reality. His doubts were violent as they seized him, racking him with the same kind of paralyzing fear that had gripped him at the beginning of that year’s season.

I’m going to lose her. This isn’t going to work, and I’m going to lose her forever, and I don’t think that I can do that. No. No, I can’t do that.

Asahi tensed and began to pull away, and regretted it as soon as he saw the dejection in her eyes, felt the pang in his own chest as though he’d been impaled on ice. “Y/N…” He reached a hand out helplessly, suddenly unable to find the words as he stared at her, blinking stupidly. “I-I’m sorry! I was just being over-sentimental. I’ll miss you, of course, but… We’re friends.” Suddenly he was saying to her all the things that he’d been telling himself for months. The difference was that now he felt like a liar.

“No, Azumane.” Y/N held her hands up in front of him, trying to play it off with a smile. “I shouldn’t have done that, I’m the one who’s sorry. I’ve just been getting caught up in all of this ‘final year’ talk. That’s all.”

He nodded, and though every fibre of his being wanted to reach back out and pull her close again, he held back���he held back, because whatever warmth that idea gave him was matched with twice as much fear. “Right, L/N. Well… You’re right. It’s late, and tomorrow’s going to be a tough day. We… We should head to bed, then. Goodnight, L/N.”

“Yeah. Night, Azumane.”

Asahi’s gut twisted as he watched her go out of the room, his eyes prying into the darkness until her silhouette had disappeared into the doorway, and he was left alone, as though she had never been there at all. His shoulders collapsed inwards and he heaved out a heavy sigh, squeezing his eyes shut and burying his face in his hands. He was a coward. Such a damn coward.

‧₊˚✩彡.

He hated it. He hated the way that Daichi and Suga would stare at him whenever the three of them passed her in the halls. He hated the pitying glances, he hated the awkwardness that had suddenly driven a wedge between himself and Y/N, but most of all, he hated having to watch her walk home with someone else. Hand in hand with a kid he’d only ever seen in passing, laughing and sharing jokes and glances across the classroom with someone who wasn’t him. It was torturous, it was unbearable, and most of all, it was his own fault.

All he had been afraid of was losing Y/N, and it seemed that in his panic, he had done exactly that.

That night during the training camp had been months ago, and things hadn’t been the same between the two ever since. Usually when something was the matter, he would go to her, or she would notice and go to him; he’d never had to deal with something in the way of that before, much less when he was the problem. After all, he couldn’t blame Y/N for trying to move on. He’d lied to her about his feelings, and he still hadn’t made any attempts to amend that lie—if anything, he was living it. Her response to his rejection of her was a natural one, a healthy one.

It also happened to make him want to swan-dive out of the classroom window whenever he could see her passing notes to him in class. Akihito Furukawa—a name that Asahi grew to wish that he had never learned.

As badly as it hurt, he had already learned his lesson about giving up on the things that he cared about, and Y/N was no exception. He would just have to wait and take the moments with her that he could get, and be sure to make each one count.

As the year finished out, their friendship seemed to repair itself. It wasn’t too terribly long before Y/N seemed comfortable being in a room with him, and not much longer after that before some of their old dynamic began to shine back through the tension and awkwardness. Asahi was grateful for it, but the ache in his chest never seemed to fully go away, and her smile still never failed to make his heart seize.

He waited through the rest of high school, and though she cried in his arms at the final game, and they shared teary goodbyes at graduation, Akihito Furukawa stayed stubbornly in the picture.

It was just after school had ended for the year, and cicadas were buzzing as Azumane and L/N made their way up the path to the convenience store. It hurt still, knowing that things could have been different, but Asahi was glad to be able to spend time with her before they parted ways for who-even-knew how long. The thought of it made some of that fear well back up in his gut, and he brushed it away.

“Where did you say you were going to university again, Asahi?” Y/N asked, watching the pavement pass beneath her feet as they walked.

“It’s a school in Tokyo,” he replied, sliding his hands into his pockets. “Tanaka’s already started calling me ‘city boy.’”

She laughed, and Asahi smiled, glancing over at her and the way that her happiness seemed to infect everything around her. There was something else, though. Something else in her eye other than just casual interest. She paused for a moment, and he watched her carefully, waiting.

“I’m… I’m actually gonna be in Tokyo too.” She had stopped walking, and now she was staring at him directly, and he found himself hanging on her every word. “Just… Don’t tell Ryu, ‘kay? I don’t need him on my case too.”

“I… Right.” He chuckled, but it felt abrupt, disjointed. Tokyo? So she’d be nearby. He shouldn’t have felt hopeful, but he did, and suddenly the ache in his chest had dulled out just a little bit. This wasn’t goodbye. This wasn’t the end.

‧₊˚✩彡.

Things with Akihito had always been dependable, consistent. Y/N was happy enough, content enough, she liked him well enough. That’s what it was—Akihito was always just enough. He was a good guy, a bit brash and usually well-intentioned, but she’d be lying if she said that there had ever been any sparks with him.

He had started as a distraction; he was a classmate who had asked her out on a date, and she had agreed because her heart was aching, and she had felt like she was going to drown if she spent even another second stuck on Asahi. One date had turned into a few more, and her temporary distraction had turned into something more permanent, something that now had strings attached. It was easy to be with Aki; he was attentive enough, and didn’t ask the world of her, and most of all, he seemed to like her just as much as he liked him. Which was to say, that she was enough.

They got through high school, and things stayed the same with them, just like Y/N needed them to. She was in Tokyo, and he was only a few miles away, and things were fine. No worse, and no better.

Asahi was in Tokyo with her, and the time that they spent together seemed to breathe color back into her life—she hadn’t realized how terribly she’d missed his friendship until they had started to gravitate back towards each other, and now he was her best friend again. The feelings that had overcome her on that moonlit night would swirl back into her conscience more often than she cared to admit, but she was always quick to dismiss them. Asahi didn’t see her that way, and things with Aki were fine.

Y/N had no good reason, then, to lie awake at night, replaying that night in the spare room in her head, over and over and over again. She had no good reason to agonize over that look in Asahi’s eye before they had kissed, the way that his voice had seemed to quiver as he’d trailed off. She had no good reason to remember the way that he’d kissed her back, even if only for a moment. She had no good reasons, but the thoughts were still there, haunting.

He’d told her that they were only friends, but she was wondering now, far too late, if he had really meant it.

‧₊˚✩彡.

It was the end of the day, and Y/N was exhausted. Streetlights passed rhythmically overhead, and though she had her eyes closed as she leaned her head against the passenger-side window, she could still see the light flickering across her eyelids in uniform intervals.

Asahi was in the driver’s seat, eyes scanning the road carefully as he navigated the streets back to her dorm building. They had been out with some friends that night, and she was the last person left in the car after he’d dropped everyone else off.

She was tired from more than just a night out, frankly. Things with Aki had deteriorated from ‘fine’ to ‘sub-optimal,’ and her busy schedule combined with him attending school outside of the city wasn’t doing their relationship any favors. On top of that…

“Asahi?” she mumbled, peeking one eye open to look at him.

“What’s up?” he asked, not taking his eyes off the road, his hand steady on the steering wheel.

“How’re things with Mariko?” She tensed as she asked the question, but it was a morbid sort of curiosity that compelled Y/N to bring her up—the girl who Asahi had been talking to recently. She thought maybe she was imagining it, or perhaps only seeing a trick of the light, but she swore that she could see his hand tense around the steering wheel.

“They’re… fine. She’s fine.”

Y/N frowned, scrutinizing his expression despite the pang in her chest. She knew him well enough to know when he was hiding something, well enough to identify that gleam in his gaze as guilt, a feeling that she herself had become very closely acquainted with as of late. She wanted to press him further, if only to make sure that he was alright, but she was stifled by the reality that she was simply not in a position to do so.

The tension that had been re-building between them as of late was already dangerous. She didn’t need to go asking him questions that could only lead them down one path.

Her jaw quivered as she stared at him, and every raw ounce of adoration and yearning and love came swelling up in her throat, too strong to be ignored. Suddenly she was choking on her own feelings, and Y/N turned her head away, realizing that her eyes were watering threateningly. It was too late. Their chances had all come and gone, and now it was too late. She was stuck with someone she didn’t love, Asahi had found someone else, and her entire world felt like it was collapsing in on itself, over and over and over again. All because she had been too slow. Too slow and not enough.

“Y/N.”

Quickly and discreetly, she wiped her eyes, careful to seem nonchalant as she looked back over at him, now having to swallow down everything she’d been ignoring all that time. “Yeah?”

“Look… That night, at the training camp…”

Y/N’s eyes widened, and she sat up slightly in her seat, fingers curling into fists by her legs. She didn’t interrupt him, just stared in silence as she waited somberly for him to gather his thoughts.

‧₊˚✩彡.

He hated when she tried to hide things from him. Not because it made him angry, but because it made him feel inadequate, unreliable. When she asked about Mariko, she’d turned away almost immediately, and he knew without looking that she was on the verge of tears. The way her shoulders stiffened slightly, and she tilted her head down and to the side… All things he’d learned how to read in her by now, all things he’d usually be there to comfort her through, all things that were now because of him.

“Y/N.”

He shouldn’t have been doing this, but he was desperate to feel in control. Mariko was nice enough, but he knew, ultimately, that she was what Y/N never had been: a distraction. His hands wrapped tighter around the steering wheel, and he drew in a slow breath, steeling himself for what he was about to say.

“Yeah?”

“Look… That night, at the training camp…” He could see the way that Y/N reacted to just the very topic, and a traitorous part of his heart was hoping, praying, screaming for the chance that maybe it was because she still felt the same way she had all those months ago. But he silenced that part of himself when he remembered that she was with someone else, that she was committed to someone, and that most importantly, she was happy.

“I pulled away, and I said those things because I was afraid. I thought- I thought that if I let things move forward between us, then I’d run the risk of losing you. Things were going so well that year, and I didn’t want to risk changing anything. You- You were my anchor. And I realized that night that- that I never wanted to have to live a life without you in it. I didn’t want to ruin us, Y/N.” Asahi had pulled over to the curb in front of her dormitory building now, and his hands moved from the steering wheel to his lap. “But I think that’s what I did, isn’t it?”

Y/N was staring ahead out of the windshield in stunned silence, and Asahi could only assume that she was processing what he’d told her. As guilty as he felt, and as much as this moment was marred by pain, it was a relief to get it off his chest, to finally feel like he was being honest with her again. For the first time in almost a year, Asahi was starting to feel like he had his anchor back.

He turned to look at her, and his heart broke as he realized that she was crying. He wanted to reach out, to pull her close or wipe away the tears, or tell her that it would be okay, but it wasn’t his place. He had forfeited that right a long, long time ago.

“We just- We never got the timing right, did we?” Y/N murmured, her voice weighed down and muffled in a way that Asahi knew was a lump in her throat.

“Y-Yeah,” he replied, trying his damndest to smile for her, and realizing that he was crying too. Big, ugly, fat tears that streamed down his face as he stared at the girl who was right across from him, but felt like she was a million miles away.

“I- I don’t love him,” she choked out, finally turning to meet his eyes, her own fraught with distress. Her entire body was shaking, and he could only watch as she spilled her truth to him. “I don’t, Asahi. I don’t. And I- I’m so scared, because I don’t wanna be trapped anymore, and I don’t want to hurt him, but… but everything brings me back to you.”

Asahi didn’t know what to say as his heart overtook him, because his chest was shaking and the tears wouldn’t stop coming, and even like this, she was so goddamn beautiful that it hurt. Just the way she had been that night at the training camp, just the way she had been at every game, every practice. Just the way she had been the day he’d met her. It took him a long time to be able to speak again, and when he did, his breaths were ragged and uneven. “Y/N, I can’t tell you what to do. All I can ask is that whatever you decide, just- just make sure that you’ll be happy. Please. Please, just be happy.”

She nodded, her eyes wide as she took in what he was saying and the way that he had said it—the way that her timid, softspoken Asahi had just poured his heart out to her.

Without thinking, he reached forward and took her hands in his. He held them there like that, just happy to be near her, to feel the electricity where they touched. Slowly, he brought her hands up and kissed her knuckles, and then he let her go.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Asahi.”

He stayed parked outside until he was sure that she was safely inside the building, and as her silhouette disappeared into the doorway, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of rising hope. He leaned forward against the steering wheel and let out a long sigh, running his hand back through his hair. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t too late after all.

‧₊˚✩彡.

It was pouring rain outside, and Y/N was caught without an umbrella, but she had no intentions of being late to where she was going. The sky was grey and overcast, but the world around her seemed brighter than ever as she hurried through bustling Tokyo streets, keeping her eyes out for him the whole way. She ignored the rain soaking into the back of her windbreaker, disregarded the cold droplets that were sliding down the nape of her neck. None of that mattered right now—all that mattered was finding him.

As soon as she spotted his familiar physique and that sloppy bun of brown hair, she broke out into a run, a grin splitting across her face. “ASAHI!” she called, waving over to him, where he sat beneath an overhang of a shopfront.

He jumped up quickly, eyes widening as he saw how thoroughly drenched she was in rainwater—it took all his willpower to shove aside his nerves, because she was about to give him his answer, but the look on her face made his head spin, and now he was scrambling to open his umbrella, running out to meet her in the rain.

“Asahi!” she called again, laughing as he ran to her, and they practically collided. She beamed up at him, now under the cover of his umbrella, and he gave her a dazed, hopeful smile in return. “Hey… I’m ready.”

He sucked in a breath like the wind had gotten knocked out of him, and he could’ve sworn he would’ve been happy like that forever, just staring at her, knowing that the glimmer in her eye was for him. It was the moment in the spare room all over again, where her gaze had sent him flying to places far away, but now instead of fear, there was elation, relief, joy.

“I love you,” he breathed out, before his arms were around Y/N’s waist and he was pulling her to his chest, clinging to his anchor. His lips met hers and he kissed her recklessly, with all the love and adoration and affection that he had been bottling up ever since that first night.

He was breathless when he pulled away, and he beamed down at her as he realized that the umbrella had fallen away, leaving them both at the mercy of the rain—and as the next thing she said swept him up and carried him away, there was only one word on his mind. “I love you too.”

Finally.

‧₊˚✩彡.

[tobesolonely]

never have i ever

summary: y/n and harry go on a camping trip, but things don’t go according to plan

a/n: thank u for reading! please reblog/leave feedback if you enjoy! its very encouraging to me :’)

warnings: smut <33 18+ please! mentions of alcohol/drinking as well

word count: ~4k

my ko-fi! thank you :)

Never in your life did you think you'd ever agree to do something as outdoorsy as camping, yet all it took was Harry asking you very sweetly one time, and you immediately agreed. You'd never been one to spend an excessive amount of time with nature. You loved a good sunrise and sunset, just like most people. Sometimes you'd even wake up early and go on a sunrise hike with Harry if he promised to make you breakfast once you were finished. Occasionally, you'd go on walks and runs with him, and spend some time down at the beach. That was the extent of the outdoor activities you'd partake in, though. However, Harry had the grand idea to go camping for the weekend as he had a bit of time off, and this was something he'd been talking about wanting to do for a while.

"Don't you wanna be one with nature? Help me pitch a tent? Get your hands a lil' dirty?" He asked you when you started having second thoughts about going with him, the idea of sleeping on the hard ground inside a small tent a major turn off.

"I mean, I can think of better ways to spend my weekend," you tell him, stirring the pot of soup you were making on the stove. It's the night before you were supposed to leave, and Harry already had the car packed, way too excited to wait any longer. "You know I always get the worst bug bites."

"That's what bug spray is for!" he tells you cheerily, snaking his arms around your waist and placing a wet kiss to your neck. "C'mon, Y/N. I promise it'll be worth it."

You sink into Harry's kisses, feeling wobbly in your knees as it was one of your most sensitive spots— and he knew that. "I suppose it'd be nice to get out of the city for a bit. Jus' me and you, yeah?" You didn't want anyone else to see how out of your element you were in the outdoors as you found it to be a little embarrassing. Harry hums, placing more open mouth kisses on your skin.

"Just me," he pauses to kiss you. "You," another kiss. "And the birds ‘n the bees." You blush, choosing to ignore his sexual innuendo.

"I guess it's too late to back out now, especially since you already took it upon yourself to pack a suitcase for me," you tell him, rolling your eyes and turning off the stove. "I'll give it a try, Harry. Besides, it's only a weekend, yeah? What could possibly go wrong?"

⋆⋆⋆

As it turns out, many, many things could go wrong during a weekend-long camping trip.

Harry told you that you didn't need to pull up directions because he knew where he was going, but you quickly realized that your stubborn boyfriend was hopelessly lost. "I don't think we're heading in the right direction, darling," you informed him from the passenger seat, opening up the Maps app on your phone. "You're positive you don't want me to give you directions? No shame in admitting you're lost."

Harry mutters under his breath, squinting his eyes to look at the freeway signs. He sighs, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. "Think I missed m'bloody exit," he tells you, clearly growing frustrated. "Can yeh tell me where 'm supposed to be, love? I think once I figure out the exit, we'll be good."

You and Harry were choosing to not venture too far out of Los Angeles, but far enough so you would be able to enjoy your time together without prying paparazzi. For this reason, he settled on a spot known to be a little more remote, about 50 miles north of downtown. Once you pull up the directions on your phone, your suspicions are confirmed. Harry was headed in the complete opposite direction, and he missed the exit nearly ten miles back. "Yeah, you're gonna need to take the next exit you see, and then we have to go back in the opposite direction. Just about ten miles too far."

"Ten miles? Lemme see tha'," he holds his hand out for your phone and pulls the car over on the freeway's side, turning on his hazards. "Huh, you're right. How'd we miss that, babe?"

"We missed it because you insisted you didn't need directions," you remind him, exasperated. "I'm from here, and I don't even know how we're supposed to get there!" Harry laughs, re-emerging onto the freeway.

"I guess I should've just let you read me the directions, huh? Don't worry, we'll be there soon. S'what? Ten miles? We'll be there in twenty minutes."

However, twenty minutes quickly turned into forty when you found yourselves stuck in the morning commute traffic. Harry fiddles with the radio as you go 5 miles per hour (on the freeway!), trying not to let the infamous Los Angeles traffic get him down. Although you were a bit behind the schedule he'd created, it was still only 7:30 am. You had the whole day ahead of you, and he couldn't wait to get you out in the wilderness and teach you how to pitch a tent and make the perfect s'more."

Eventually, you make it to the campgrounds. You had to admit that it was absolutely beautiful— tall, looming pine trees, snow-capped mountains, picnic tables, patches of even ground you figured would be perfect to set up the tent on, and even a couple outhouses. Harry gives you a smug look when he sees your awestruck face, glad that he was the first to show you something from your own city.

"It's beautiful up here, innit? So peaceful. Looks like we're here by ourselves too," he gestures towards the empty campgrounds. "Nice and private."

You nod, unbuckling your seatbelt as Harry puts the car in park. "I'm already feelin' more relaxed," you joke, opening the door and stepping out to stretch your stiff limbs. "Should we walk around and take a peek at everything before we get ourselves set up?"

"Yeah, s'good idea," he gets out of the car himself and walks around to you, grabbing your hand. "Maybe we can go hiking later? Hear there's a nice little waterfall somewhere around here. Would love to see that." You hum in agreement, walking along the dry ground, leaves crunching under your feet.

"That sounds nice. I can't believe I've never been here," you tell him incredulously, swinging your hands. "It's so gorgeous. And is it just me, or is the air here like, super crisp?" Harry chuckles, nodding in agreement.

"I don't think it's just you, poppet. We're finally away from all that L.A. smog, can take some nice, deep breaths. This will be great for m'asthma." You laugh, and a comfortable silence falls between you. Occasionally, Harry will say, "Look at tha' bird!" or "That's the biggest tree 've seen in my life!" but you walk in silence, for the most part, enjoying each other's company.

"Do you think we should turn back?" you ask your boyfriend, stopping to look back in the direction you came from. "We've been walkin' for a minute. I don't think we should venture too far from the car." You were starting to grow tired and weren't in the right shoes for walking much longer.

"Yeah, let's get back and get that tent set up. Also gettin' kind of hungry," Harry tells you, turning you back around in the direction you'd come from. "How's tea and eggs sound?"

⋆⋆⋆

"Harry, you've got to be fuckin' kidding me!"

"Y/N, I swear I packed it! It has to be somewhere in here!"

"We've emptied out the entire car, Harry!"

Upon returning to the campsite, your boyfriend was excited to get the tent out of the car, so you could "really get this camping trip started," as he said. Yet, when he went in the trunk of his car to retrieve the tent, it was nowhere to be found. Neither one of you panicked at first, figuring he might've squeezed it in the backseat instead, as the trunk was pretty full. It wasn't there, either. Now, your suitcases and cooler was laid out around the car, but the tent was nowhere to be found. He runs his fingers in frustration through his hair, tapping his foot while he contemplates calling one of his assistants and asking her to bring it to him.

"Harry, don't make her do that. You already told her she could have the weekend off. It's not her fault you forgot it," you scold, digging your shoe's toe into the dirt. "We can just sleep in the car."

"That's so uncomfortable," he mewls, placing your suitcases back into the car. "Maybe we should just go home. We're not off to a very good start, maybe it's a sign?"

"No way, H. I've already called off work to come here with you, we're staying," you insist, reaching back into the car to grab the electric tea kettle you've bought. "Let's get a little breakfast in our stomachs and then go see that waterfall, how's that sound?" Harry gives you a reluctant look but agrees, reaching in the cooler to grab the carton of eggs you've brought along. He grabs the small skillet, albeit your favorite one that you told him not to bring here, and grabs a small charcoal bag to light the grill.

"Have yeh got a lighter on ya?" Harry asks, walking over to the small grill beside the picnic table. You raise your eyebrows at him.

"Me? You didn't ask me to bring it! Are you telling me we can't even light the grill now?" You couldn't believe everything that could go wrong on your camping trip was going wrong, but now it seemed like you wouldn't even be able to prepare hot meals for the next two days.

"Yes, I did, Y/N," Harry argues back calmly, not wanting to raise his voice. "Remember? I bought that long one so it would be easier to use. Said, 'Babe, make sure yeh grab the lighter off the counter.'" You think for a moment and then shake your head, sure Harry did, in fact, not tell you to grab the lighter, and he was just trying to push the blame to you.

"Now what? We can't cook the meat or vegetables all because you couldn't remember to bring the lighter," you tell him sharply, feeling yourself growing more annoyed by the second. You were incredibly frustrated because you weren't keen on the idea of camping in the first place, but you came along anyway, not expecting so many things to go wrong.

Harry closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath, a thing he does every time things start getting heated between the two of you because he hates fighting. "Well, it's at home, and there's not much we can do about it, so 'm sorry for pointin' fingers at you. Did we bring anything we can snack on that doesn't require cooking?" You rummage around in the cooler and find a box of cheese, some cold cuts, a loaf of french bread, and a couple bottles of wine.

"Hows some cheese, bread, and meat sound? We can make little sandwiches," you tell him, pulling out the food. "Maybe some wine?"

Harry chuckles, walking over to you. "Y/N, it's not even 10 am."

"We're on vacation, aren't we?"

He shrugs, walking over to you to grab the bottle of wine. You grab plates, napkins, and a sheet you bought to double as a tablecloth, laying it out atop the picnic table. "'M actually starving," he calls to you from beside the car, reaching to grab two wine glasses. "Can't wait to eat this."

You cut into the loaf of french bread and cheese and add slices of salami and ham, quickly assembling mini sandwiches for you and Harry. "These look good, don't they?" you ask him, half teasing, half-serious. You hand him his sandwich, and he grins, grabbing it from you.

"Looks delicious, Y/N, thank you. Cheers," he gently taps his sandwich against yours, and you both take big bites, moaning at your first taste of food all day. "Want some wine now?" He asks, pouring you each full glasses. He slides the glass in front of you and you grab it, taking a long sip.

"S'good. Where'd you get this one from?" you question, taking another bite from your sandwich.

"Italy," he responds sheepishly, tasting it himself. "I know how to pick a bottle of wine, don't I?"

You giggle at your boyfriend's subtle bragging, continuing to eat your breakfast. You realized that there was no way you and Harry could comfortably spend the whole weekend here camping. You'd most likely have to call it quits before it got dark. However, you were still glad you'd get to spend time with your boyfriend outdoors, eating "emergency sandwiches" and sipping on a 500 dollar bottle of wine.

⋆⋆⋆

"Never have I ever had a one night stand," you say loudly, giggling in the process. You and Harry were both absolutely plastered, having already finished one bottle of wine and working on the second. You've decided to play a good old fashioned game of Never Have I Ever, and it was getting more raunchy the drunker the two of you became. Harry narrows his eyes at you and takes a swig out of the bottle of wine, shaking his head.

"You already know 've had one because I've told yeh about it before, yeh lil' cheater," he exclaims, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Here's one. Never have I ever shagged in the backseat of a car." You choke on your wine, widening your eyes at him.

"You actually think I've done that? How kinky do you think I am?" you smack him on his arm, laughing at his ridiculous statement. Harry doesn't say anything, running his finger along the rim of his wine glass.

"Here's a more specific one," he leans closer to you, and you can smell the wine on his warm breath. "Never have I ever shagged in the back of my car, in the middle of the woods, while on a camping trip with my girlfriend." His hand goes to rest on your thigh, and you swallow thickly.

"Thought you wanted to go see that waterfall?" you ask him, your words jumbling together slightly. Harry turns to face you, so his legs are on either side of the bench, and he pulls you closer to him by your waist.

"Don't care much for the waterfall when 've got a beautiful woman sat in front of me," he blurts, sucking on the underside of your jaw.

"What d'you want then?" you challenge, tilting your head slightly, so Harry is better positioned to place kisses to your jaw.

"Want you," he responds simply, grabbing your hand and placing it over his growing bulge. "Y'know how wine gets me goin', love." You hum in agreement, palming him through his trousers.

"I know," you respond breathlessly, pulling away from him to down the rest of your wine. "Why don't we go to the car then?" Harry gives you a surprised look, a dopey smile on his face.

"So we're really doin' this then?" He asks, standing up from the picnic table and holding his hand out for you to grab.

"No one's around, why not?" You knew that your sexual boldness came from all the wine you'd consumed, but at that moment, you didn't think there was anything you wanted more in the world than your boyfriend's cock down your throat. "Need to taste you." Harry groans, leading you hastily toward the car. You both stumble to get there in your intoxicated stupor but make it in one piece, giggling and clinging onto one another.

"After you, m' lady," he opens the backseat and curtsies, causing you to both erupt into a fit of giggles. You clamber into the backseat, scooting all the way to the other side so Harry could climb in after you. He shuts the door, and you sit in silence for a minute, catching your breaths. "Tight squeeze back here, yeah?"

"Yeah," you readjust your body, so your back is against the door, and your legs are over Harry's lap. "How are we gonna do this?"

Harry's quirks an eyebrow at you, undoing the button on his pants. "Yeh really wanna just straight into it, don't yeh, minx?" You nod, readjusting your position, so you're now on your knees, having to crane your neck slightly, so you're not hitting the car's roof.

"Let me taste you," you offer, seeing his hard cock straining to get out the confines of his tight clothing. He wordlessly nods and lifts his hips, tugging his pants down to his mid-thigh. He's not as hard as he can get, maybe due to the amount of wine he's consumed, but you know he's nearly there. You reach over to grab him, hands shaking slightly. "Can't believe we're doing this in the middle of the woods. Makes it even hotter, though."

Harry's head falls against the back seat's headrest as you flick your tongue out to capture the drop of pre-cum that was beginning to run down the side of his head. "Take me in y' mouth, Y/N. What are yeh waiting for?"

You place your hands on his thighs and lower your mouth onto his cock, taking him almost entirely in your warm mouth. Harry lets out a loud groan, not even bothering to quiet his sounds of pleasure since he knew no one was anywhere nearby. You come back up for air and lick your lips, giving him a sultry look. "You mean like that?" Harry grips the back of your head and roughly pushes you back down onto him, not in the mood for your teasing.

"Don't be cheeky now, lovie," he warns, bucking his hips up roughly to fuck your mouth. "Yeh want me to help you cum later, don't yeh?" You moan around his cock, not wanting to answer him, so you don't break the rhythm you were going at. As your sex life with Harry grew more adventurous throughout your relationship, you've only gotten better at deepthroating him, able to get him close to his orgasm in minutes. You always joked between the two of you that giving him head was one of your greatest talents, and of course, he never disagreed with that sentiment. You come up from his cock to take another breath, inhaling deeply through your nostrils. Harry immediately pushes you back down onto him without saying anything. He begins thrusting into you with even more vigor than before, and you know he's almost there. "Y/N, 'm gonna cum—"

You pull off Harry's mouth with a loud plop!, lifting up your dress and shoving your underwear to the side. "Can I ride you?" you ask sweetly, already situating yourself over him. Your boyfriend nods, completely flustered from being pushed so close to his orgasm, and then denied the opportunity to cum.

"S'course," he answers with a shaky breath. "C'mere." He grabs your waist and guides you onto his length, helping you sink down slowly. You rest your head on his shoulder, feeling him deep within you. Every ridge, every pulse, the warmth— it makes you feel completely feral. "That's a good girl, Y/N. Takin' my cock like it's nothing, aren't yeh? This is easy for you, hmm?"

You nod against his shoulder, starting to bounce around slowly on him. "So easy, H. Fit inside me so well," you moan, squeezing your eyes shut. "Feels fuckin' incredible, stretchin' me out like this." Harry squeezes onto your sides, leaving bruises in the shapes of his fingers. Harry places a kiss against his lips, slipping his tongue into your mouth.

"You like tha', Y/N? Such a dirty girl, lettin' me fuck ya in the back of my car like this. Kinky lil' thing, you are, pet," he mutters, thrusting his hips up as you slam yourself down to meet him. You nod, moving your hips in a gyrating motion.

"Love it, H. Fuckin' into me so well, fuck," you let out a particularly loud cry when Harry repositions you slightly, hitting your g-spot int he new position he has you in. "Don't stop please, keep going." You urge your boyfriend, throwing your head back. It's incredibly hot in the car, and you realize that maybe you should've cracked open a few windows before starting, but there was no way you're going to stop now to tell him that, not when you were this close.

"Y/N, I'm gonna cum," he cries out, his breathing becoming labored. "Let me have yeh in another position, please, 'm so fuckin' close."

"There's no room," you choke out, squeezing down on him. Harry moans loudly, muttering a quiet "shit" under his breath. He lifts you off of him and lays you down across the backseat, bending your knees up to your chest while he situates himself in between your legs. It's cramped and uncomfortable and hot, but you're so close, just a few thrusts away from reaching your high.

"Put your legs over my shoulders," he demands, resting on hand on the car's headrest while the other grips your breast. You nod and place your legs on either side of his shoulders, now being able to feel him in a completely different way. He re-enters you, so much deeper than before, and you swear you see stars. "Fuckin' hell, Y/N. Love your tight pussy, babe. All fo' me, yeah?"

"All for you, baby," you cry, gripping onto his broad shoulders. "'M gonna cum now, let me cum." You're a begging, writhing mess beneath him, squeezing down on his cock.

"Do tha' again," he asks, his rhythm becoming sloppy and hurried, just wanting to get the two of you off. "I'm almost there too, babe, squeeze 'round my cock again like you just did."

You clench around Harry and he lets his head hang, squeezing onto your breast even harder. "'M cummin', Y/N," he announces immediately before releasing inside you, his warm load coating your spongy walls. Your bite your lip and squeeze around him again, the coil in your abdomen becoming tighter as you quickly approach your peak shortly after he reaches his. You know Harry is exhausted, but he doesn't stop, never wanting to leave you hanging. He reaches in between your bodies and rubs quick circles on your clit with the hand that's gripping the headrest and flicks your nipples with the other hand. "Come on, love. Can feel how close you are, I know you're nearly there."

Harry spanks your clit while increasing his speed, and your eyes roll into the back of your head, your vision going hazy. You feel like you're underwater— his voice sounds muffled and a little far away, and that's how you know the orgasm was good. Your eyes are still shut, and you feel him slowly pull out, trying not to get his seed all over the backseat of his car. After coming down from your high, you open your eyes, a blissed-out smile on your face. "That was incredible." You let out a quiet chuckle, wiping the beads of sweat from your forehead. "Can you open the door? I can hardly breathe in here."

Harry laughs and slowly sits up, opening the door and inhaling the cold morning air. The car's windows were completely fogged up, and you're happy no one was walking by because if they did, they'd definitely know what the two of you had gotten into. "Guess you can't say you've never fucked in the backseat of a car before anymore."

[silima]

Hey man I wanted to ask, i am beginner artist and I feel kinda discouraged because i have a smaller acc than I lot of artists, how do you feel like encouraged to draw more stuff about your fandom?(i really love your art and is so inspiring!)

thank u!! first of all, it's awesome that you've decided to start putting yourself out there!! i think motivation can be one of the hardest things to deal with when it comes to making art, & sometimes it feels like u either have it or u don't. but i think it's definitely possible to improve in some ways!

i think the most important rule of trying to motivate urself is, when motivation/inspiration hits you, DON’T WASTE IT. if you think to yourself, “hmm, it would be fun to draw right now… but it would be easier to keep scrolling on my phone” do your best to actually go draw!! i’m not gonna tell u to skip, like, ur homework for art (although i totally do that) bcz u should do ur homework. but when the urge hits u, don’t let it go!! u gotta ride that wave as far as it’ll take you.

obviously sometimes motivation will hit you at times when you’re in a situation where you totally can’t sit down and draw. like it’s 3am and you really should’ve been sleeping 5 hours ago, but u just got a super cool idea for a drawing or a comic or something. if that happens, i’m not saying to actually sit down & draw right then, but you absolutely should write your idea down while the idea is still fresh!! it’s easy to forget small things or even the whole idea if you wait for later. plus, when you revisit what you've written down, you might find yourself having ideas of how you could make it even better.

one thing that’s kind of unfortunate about making art is that, yeah, external motivation is a big part of motivating yourself to make art (at least it is for me). BUT you definitely don’t need to have thousands of followers to get nice feedback on your art. i mean, you could just show it to an irl friend who likes the show/book/etc that you’re drawing for too. hell, you could show it to ur mom

but to put yourself out there online, uhh my advice is to

make art that’s interesting in some way. (character interactions are often more interesting to ppl than solo character art, for one; uhh, comics are super super super fun although i personally felt intimidated by them at first; in general, trying to give ur audience some kind of emotional response to ur art--whether it's "aw so cute" or funny or angsty--is good.)

participate in fandom events (like ship weeks, big bangs, etc). at the very least, ur art gets reblogged to a bigger blog that can get you some exposure. and you might make some friends!

try to connect w/ other content creators—go compliment cool art! send nice asks! make gift art for fanfics u really like!

look for some fandom discords with nice ppl

post ur stuff on multiple social medias

i personally spent like 3 years on tumblr just kinda tossing my art into the void before i actually started gaining a significant amount of followers lol so i’m not exactly a social media guru but i think those are some good places to start.

also, NEVER BE DISCOURAGED BY UR OWN ART!!!!! sometimes it happens when you'll look at ur art and be like "holy bejeezus i suck at art" and like, it's inevitable that it happens occasionally, but u gotta avoid that as much as u possibly can. practice positive self-talk--be like "aw fuck yeah i love how i drew that hair" or smth to yourself. bad self-esteem will kill your motivation & your fun.

(it's worth keeping in mind that oftentimes, if u feel like ur art is "getting worse," that's literally just your eye for art developing and learning to recognize flaws that you're about to fix--a good sign, not a bad one. your hands will catch up to your eyes in time.)

oh and DONT be afraid of posting little sketches or unfinished doodles that arent that fancy...... thats something i struggle with lol i always feel like "if my art isnt perfectly cleaned up and shaded then whats the point :(" but whenever i see someone else's cute little sketch on my dash im always like omg thats so cool. doing this is also good because if you don't feel obligated to put tons and tons of effort into each piece, you'll have an easier time creating lots of art which ultimately helps u improve way faster

lastly i uhhh really strongly recommend against doing that thing that some beginner artists do where you're feeling insecure about your art and, in anticipation that people will hate it, you say something like "haha yeah i know it sucks" in the caption/tags to sort of insulate yourself from criticism. cuz like, most ppl are not little loser bitches who go around insulting random ppl's art, and besides if you do encounter people like that, u can just block em. more importantly, a lot of people do find such captions kind of off-putting/guilt-trippy, so it's bad for growing ur audience, and it's also harmful to you as well, because you're verbalizing your insecurities (& thus intensifying them). just own it. you don't need to apologize for "imperfect" art. it happens, & it's totally okay.

[stronghours]

CUSTOMER SERVICE

E T S Y

Darling Fallon    Sep 3, 2013

Sensational (sin-sational!). i write on behalf of myself (S) and my lover (m). we have been ripped off by bulk-produced molded hoods before and i can only say HAND CUT LATEX ONLY never look back!! worth the money and will eventually pay for itself. neck fit like loving glove and adds dynamic intensifier to breathplay. Lovely proprietor replied prompt when “m” had questions re: breathability (she added extra breathing hole at no extra cost). class acts all around (and not just in our dungeon!) will return for more but “m” needs a break first if u get the drift lol1!! thanks to lady j!

Purchased item: DeMarco FetishWear – Latex Chrysalis Hood (translucent…

3 Helpful

  myMister   Aug 24, 2013

this one writes on behalf and with permission of MISTER. this one quaked with bliss when package arrived. truly awful to behold in the wise hands of MISTER. this one’s neck is small and delicate For His Pleasure and all item adjustments were made to order and did not affect shipping time. if this one could be so efficient For His Pleasure this one would be in heaven on earth. instead, this one is less than a hole. item truly enhanced <O sensation. without a doubt will be used over and over in this household for due punishments of this very worthless one. discrete pgk’ing. thanks to designer J for deepening this one’s service to MISTER.

(NOTE FROM MISTER – WILL PROPRIETER PLEASE PRIVATELY EMAIL TO DISCLOSE IF YOU ARE MALE/FEMALE/OTHER SO “myMister” (this one) WILL BE ABLE TO PROPERLY ADDRESS YOU IN ACCORDANCE WITH ITS FORMAL ROLE)

Purchased item: DeMarco FetishWear – Throttle Collar w/ attached Gas…

1 Helpful

  JulieJuice   August 3, 2013

LOL rip-off!!! cant believe all u ppl sucking this guys dick. says everywhere in product descript. (and you guys reviews!!) that custom sizing is no additl. cost but mine cost more!! only small alteration to titty holes cause of my cleave situation. bullshit. not buying from him again.

Response from J

Hi again Julie. If you check our many enlightening inbox conversations from 7/5-7/16 you will be reminded the additional cost was due to your request of more ring hinge insertions as the standard amount in pattern block “was not bling enough”. Cleavage was irrelevant. Sizing related alterations are always no added cost. Custom alterations requiring additional materials/effort and adjusted pricing will always be discussed and approved on client end before any exchange of payment.

Purchased item: DeMarco FetishWear – Hexagon Restrictor Harness…

HELPFUL?

  HannahCakes!    Jun 1, 2013

Hey Whats Up I’m Caleb (obviously don’t have an etsy) and using my lady’s account. She got the catsuit for my birthday and she looked so sexy like J-Lo or someone. Didn’t want her doin the latex stuff because I thought shed have to shave off all her pubes and personally i like that kind of thing a lot but no harm done. Anyway she was super sexy and the suit thing looked good and stayed together even when we started rockin. To other full bush guys out there if youre girl wants to wear the latex stuff SHE CAN KEEP HER BUSH she just has to use lube to oil up the bush that she has.

Purchased item: DeMarco FetishWear – Domina Catsuit w/ Pussycat Zipper (red…

7 Helpful

  HannahCakes!   3 months ago   Friend   Ignore

Caleb Review

Hi J,

Saw my boyfriend’s 6/1 review and I was like uh ohhh. I asked him to leave one because he went gaga over the catsuit, but I wasn’t expecting all the bush stuff. If you don’t want to be associated with that and want to delete, that’s ok on my end. A little embarrassing! – Hannah!

Reply from DeMarco FetishWear    3 months ago    Friend    Ignore

Hi Hannah. Please don’t worry about it, any positive review is welcome. His feedback has apparently hit a chord with some specific hesitations and concerns buyers have been experiencing but not confiding with me, so I plan on keeping it up for the time being. Enjoy your garment.

  JoeyoftheHerd    3 months ago   Friend   Ignore

Moo-cow snout muzzle thing – (idea i had)

Hi. Is this idea good

Reply from DeMarco FetishWear    3 months ago    Friend   Ignore

Hi Joey. Are you interested in a custom cow muzzle/mask, like the pup play masks on my page or are you just brainstorming for personal reasons?

Reply from JoeyoftheHerd    3 months ago    Friend    Ignore

idk it’s just an idea i had

Reply from DeMarco FetishWear    3 months ago    Friend    Ignore

It’s a cool idea

Reply from JoeyoftheHerd    3 months ago    Friend    Ignore

Thanks man i thought so 2

1234Brett10093456    3 months ago   Friend   Ignore

I REMEMBER YOU FROM RAWHIDE

JULES yes I know who you are and I know your name are you scared yet?? I remember when you used to hang with Roscoe out at Rawhide because Roscoe pretended to hire you because he secretly wanted to fuck and suck you till you cried and I saw all that. I have brown flippy hair, blue eyes and am tall/cut versatile but lean TOP. I know you faked being gay. You heard of bi-now-gay-later but have you heard of gay-then-straight-betrayer (you)? That is fucked up that you still sell stuff but pretend to be a gay guy because that makes your stuff sell better because the gay guys want to fuck you. I know you are faking because my muscle bud Tomas (latino) saw you making out with a ginger chick at the wet bar in Entrance last week. He said it was probably a joke but I know it wasn’t because he said he saw tongue. I wont let you be a breeder without a fight. I am willing to tell EVERYBODY YOURE SECRET. But I wont if you prove to me YOU CAN STILL BE GAY. Im attaching a pic of my cock so you know im not lying and can follow through. I will only believe YOU ARE GAY if we can see each other face/face (i can host only on fri- I have two roommates) and our cocks have to touch and you have to stay hard for at least five minutes while I suck and jack your cock and tongue your balls (shave or dont i will leave that up to you). condoms ok but if you want to be a breeder so bad maybe I will just breed your ass but if youre actually a gay guy you’ll like it and cum thick ropes as I fuck your dirty little slut hole and youll tell me youre a hole while I fuck it with the shiny precum head of my cut fucking cock (7inches erect). you will smell my hole and BECOME GAY again IT WILL HAPPEN  - Brett Costino

  TheSteelyDanMan   2 months ago   Friend   Ignore

Latex & Breastfeeding Concerns

Good morning, J I hope you are well. Returning customer, here. My kajira/wife and I are splinter Gor lifestylers (NOT KAOTIANS) [link] but are currently isolated due to our deviation from standard kajira beautification ideals and the arrival of our first child (girl - Gemma) two months ago. My wife’s submission has usually been expressed fashion-wise in various strict latex outfits, a few of which you have kindly provided us over the past couple of years. Naturally, the arrival of a mini-me results in some changes! My wife, insecure after birth, wants to return to strict full-coverage latex, but this desire is at odds with her physical situation of actively nursing Gemma and we both have worries. Does the constriction of latex effect or otherwise harm milk production, or could secondhand latex exposure harm our baby? I imagine you have catered to many lifestyle situations where this might be relevant so I thought I would ask. Thanks very much. LEO

Reply from DeMarco FetishWear    2 months ago    Friend    Ignore

Hi Leo. While I have catered to many lifestyles, I’m afraid I must exercise discretion in this situation, as it would be on par with giving medical advice. I will say any allergy is a possibility and one should exercise undue care with a very young infant, not just in matters of latex. I highly encourage you and your wife to discuss this with her doctor as frankly as possible. In the long run it might be worth reevaluating aspects of your wife’s submission and temporarily making do with latex pieces that do not restrict the breasts, while nursing is a part of her daily reality (I’m sure I don’t have to tell you examples are available on my page). Best of luck and congratulations on the new addition to your family.

  NoraBarnacle    2 months ago   Friend   Ignore

A sincere offer…

Several months ago, I bought a pair of latex gauntlet gloves from your shop. Since then, astonishing changes have come over me. I used to be high-powered, highly controlled, a formidable woman (natural ash blond, green eyes, 45”-40”-44”) I was determined to keep these feelings to myself, but I can no longer resist, as I wholeheartedly believe your Dominating spirit, imbued in the gauntlets, is leading me forcefully but masterfully into your care. If it pleases you, know I have not touched my aching slit for one month total as I am uncertain whether you desire me to feel pleasure that is not approved by you. There are no images of you on your site, but I have drawn an accurate picture of you in my mind and I know you are the Man that I never knew I was waiting for, the Man who will lead me, the Man who will hold my neck and strike my forehead to his knee in his insistence that I allow myself to be led. When I wear the gauntlets, they are your own gallant hands restricting my weak bones. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I do not desire to resist. Please message back so I can properly present my acquiescence, body and soul, unto you. I squat disgracefully on my plump thighs, full of whorish tremor that makes me unworthy, but still I desire. I will service your home with my ardent hands and service your thick and striving cock with my wet tongue. Respond to this small soul. I submit to your gallant wisdom – A Secret Admirer

  RicoMetals   1 month ago   Friend   Ignore

Redhead Modle in Pic for Serve Her Serrated Corselette

Hey man-to-man who is she. I love redheads. Does she modle for other people/would she modle for my pieces? there’s no head in the pick – what’s her nose situation? we could all do collab and I think it would be hot. Let me kno - RICO

Reply from DeMarco FetishWear    1 month ago    Friend    Ignore

Hi Rico. I have not blocked you (yet) because said model wanted me to reply to you first and inform you, she’s already an established performer in her own right and does not want to model for a guy who “thinks I need some sissy seamstress to pimp me out to shitty welders online”. As I only have basic welding experience, I can offer no further comment or defense on your behalf.

  DerryBerry454   1 month ago   Friend   Ignore

Inquiry re: standard leather sleep-sack dimensions

Hello Miss J, quick question:

I will buy this item no hesitation no delay if you tell me right now about your vagina. Questions I prioritize:

1.     Color labia (outer)

2.     Color labia (inner – aroused)

3.     Clit length in centimeters or whatever measurement is most flattering to you

4.     Range of clit engorgement

5.     Depth of vaginal canal (I will allow ballpark figure as I know not everyone has graded speculums lying around)

6.     Percentage of clit orgasms v. vaginal orgasms – bonus points if you describe uterine orgasm, if that is your experience (no pressure to answer last part, as I understand it is not necessarily vagina-adjacent)

7.     Are you hairy? What color?

8.     When you wash your vagina do you douche or do you use fingers to rub through labia folds and that is it?

9.     Color of menstrual blood

10.  If you wear panties, do you find the crotch of your panties degrades due to PH of your vaginal discharge? (give me the qualities and I will calculate this for you)

While a picture of your vagina is welcome (and will only be for my private use) I really do like gathering these stats (I’m kind of a nerd) and would appreciate as much openness on your behalf as possible and you will benefit too because I’ll give you money for your lovely product. Talk to you soon! 😊

  B O A R D

[RUBBERVALLEY FIENDS THREAD 3/3 2006-PRESENT] TOPICS: 850 POSTS: 10,356

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): Hey people, we’ve reached the end of the summer and you know what that means – Ivan himself of the halls of Rubber Valley presents inaugural post of their annual sweeps week filming extravaganza – first photoset already up and we’ve got the goddamn brilliant LYDIA SUCKS sons! The greatest bitch on the face of the planet almost psyched us out but she’s here she’s low and she’s ready to blow. Vid upload will probably take till tomorrow to render but we’ve got some great pic galleries already. Ivan really spoiling us pigs lmfao. Seeing lots of setup and dress-up and behind scenes stuff for yall candid pervs. We’ve got full body latex and face coverage hoods and I see a breathing tube and the barn inversion setup. Possible inverted ceiling fuck? The boys can dream. Links to download pics results in PERMABAN – only official links to Rubber Valley site allowed, don’t know how often I have to say it. You want to pass ripped screenshots you do that through email *casts pearls before swine*

GOBgobGOB: no pic of lyds upside down yet ☹

LordJim: Not interested until I see Ivan haul out the FuckRacers from two years ago – wonder why he doesn’t bring those around more often? Great view stats on current vids and who doesn’t like a fat ass getting auto-fucked while she steers the go-cart supine?

SUCKPUNTER: lmfao all views are you bro

GOBgobGOB: D I R E C T H I T

SUCKPUNTER: hey lordjim where’d you learn the word supine

LordJim: Yeah “laugh out loud” very funny guys.

SUCKPUNTER: did you learn it at college

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): Lydia looks gr8 folks. Queen pristine and ready to cream. SUCKPUNTER – chill out because I’ve got my eye on you. Don’t take the bait Jim. You’re like thirty.

SUCKPUNTER: at least I don’t get off on bitches doing the pinewood derby

LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: LYDIA!

GOBgobGOB: LYDIA!!!

McLovin: LYDIA LYDIA LYDIA

TheWorldofMartinAmis: Goddess. Wish she’d get her boobs done though.

LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: same! I’ve been waiting for years for her to get into xtreme body mod. Right up her alley. If she’s at EXXXOTICA EXPO next year I’m going to try to get her meet and greet and ask. I know tattoo guys who’d pay HER to give her first tat.

McLovin: Lydia wouldn’t go. She’s like indie transgressive.

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): nice to see you again lockSTOCK. I see your POV but Lydia has several interviews where she says most of her viewers see her bod as a clean palate in the art of pain – as in, wounds have to go away in order for us to appreciate a fresh ruining ; ) tats and huge implants are a little tougher to work around. Anyway in my mind you can fix bad tits but you can’t fix bad attitude

ThatOneFootGuy: id suck her feet

McLovin: woah fuck 4th latex pic in dressing series with her mouth open and her eyes shut – who the lube guy with his arm right down her front?

SUCKPUNTER: lol hand clear to her pussy and hes not even hard faggot

McLovin: scope the ginger amazon in the background with camera – new girl? Don’t recognize. Didn’t know Ivan was bringing new people around this year’s sweeps.

LordJim: I wondered too when I saw. I’m sure DungeonMaster mod understands if I copy/paste following from Ivan (no pics, text w/actress info):

Newcomers are always welcome in RUBBER VALLEY (especially if they’re lovely, and especially if they’re ladies!) and this old goat is pleased to welcome DOMME LUX, our friendly neighbor down south in that little town called Chicago. Mysterious as she is alluring, you’ll see her shining light sampling tidbits of delight off our Valley Girls throughout the uploads this month (or even taking a crack at a couple!) We’re just getting to know her, but I have a feeling she’s a generous gal at heart as she kindly offered us the services of her Personal Valet, Jules DeMarco, who himself spoiled us all year with devious latex devices for our steadfast daring dollies after the unfortunate 2012 passing of our beloved torture designer Merrick Marvel (memoriam post 03/04/2012). Check out Jules’s Half-Bag Breast Mummifier in scheduled post 7/22 (Heather Bunny in the inverted Wench Wrench) the diabolical Arachnae-Hood (Lacey Jane, spinning in our trusty Landscape(her) Rolling Pin 7/16) and the Double-Fuck Full Body Boa Binder with eerie inflatable bubble hood (Lydia Sucks, finale post 7/31, don’t miss it, SUBSCRIBE). I must confess, we took advantage - the poor fella ran himself ragged helping us with film prep all week. So as an apology we let him get up close and personal with Rubber Valley’s reigning heroine LYDIA SUCKS fitting her in a custom four-limb black latex catsuit with half-face hood, made especially for her brave beautiful bod. He takes a good long time greasing her up before Ivan and Barry get her hoisted and joisted and in her best bitch-bat position among the rafters of the exalted Rubber Valley barn, where we leave her to squirm in terror! (but let’s get real – what scares Lydia? We’re wracking our brains!) Uh-oh, is Domme Lux looking jealous in the background? Is she plotting a little comeuppance for our Lovely Lady Lydia? Only one way to find out – SUBSCRIBE!

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): Np lordjim, if you hadn’t posted I was going to. Looks like we’ve got fresh meat in the valley.

TheWorldofMartinAmis: very pretty girl, but always bummed when a new one turns out to be top. Call me old fashioned, I come to the Valley for slaves.

SUCKPUNTER: firecrotch

GOBgobGOB: brb too busy crankin it. milky gingerbread titties come to daddy

McLovin: @TheWorldofMartinAmis, Ivan always has at least one femdom around. Room for everybody in the valley

LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: holy shit I know that guy.

SUCKPUNTER: lmfao faggots know faggots

LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: no for real. His real name is Jules Marinelli. I worked with him one summer lifeguarding beaches for the park’s district. Our boss found his website where he sells his sex stuff, and it was this whole big thing. Found the kink club Entrance through that (check it out if you’re in my hood ever – huge, clean, not too much gay shit, great ladies of all stripes hanging around, but limits on drinking if you’re trying to access certain levels). He’s bi. He’s either secretly Domme Lux’s slave or Domme Lux is his slave and it’s mega on the DL because it’d hurt her career if it got out she could ‘verse. There’s all this gossip.

SUCKPUNTER: bi guys r fags

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): SUCKPUNTER – that’s strike one. lockstock – not deleting your post because from what I can see JDM doesn’t/isn’t acting in explicit scenes, but let’s cool it with doxxing info. Looks like he’s had an experience with that before, and as a small business owner myself, I know how it can suck. We aren’t gossiping high school girls. Settle back and enjoy what Ivan gives us.

GOBgobGOB: *sees dudes in the chat and stops jacking off*

LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: NP mod, feel free to delete it later before it causes problems.

TheWorldofMartinAmis: going back to previous discussion – don’t think a breast job automatically constitutes body modification

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): think about it martinamis, it’s a slippery slope – you want to see some swollen battered fish get destroyed, or a fresh natural girl get destroyed?

SUCKPUNTER: i am not a faggot and a whore’s a whore and im here to see whores fucking destroyed

GOBgobGOB: *tony soprano voice* she was a HOOOOER

SUCKPUNTER: fag or cunt all whores get fucked

LordJim: Mod, step up. This isn’t going to get better. With all due respect

SUCKPUNTER: fag or cunt ALL WHORES GET FUCKED

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): yeah, already done. That should be the last of him. Don’t know why I expected that situation to turn out differently.

  FROM: lydias-verified@terrorproductions.com

TO: JulesDM86@gmail.com

Subject: Debrief – valley week

Jules,

As discussed, attached is current info for my old webmaster service from when I had to run my own fansite. Decent price and decent vendor system. Can only be an improvement on what you have now. That is not an insult, but I know it sounds like one. Stay with me.

[link] [link] [link]

And above, the top three most trafficked boards I’ve found following my own career and the rubber valley gang. We’ve caused quite a stir already and its only July 15th. I wouldn’t count on this causing an uptick in your business, but I think you know that. The standard gentleman at home spending twenty bucks a month for guaranteed links to a woman being fucked inside out while wearing a sensory deprivation hood simply doesn’t translate him to spending 100-200 dollars, contacting a seller, taking measurements, and going through the effort to order he and his special girly the hood itself. But I know you believe you’ve chosen your life the same way I believe I’ve chosen my life and won’t whine. I will say, if your ego is bruised, that your clothes are wonderful. They feel maybe half like death. I’ll wear them again and again.

On a funnier note: I have accounts myself on all the above message boards and post semi-regularly. It might amuse you to do the same thing, but you need to be careful regarding your identity. Feedback from viewers is never relevant, but it needs to be pure (don’t ask me why – my brains are fucked out). I won’t tell you who I am, and you won’t tell me who you are. Maybe we’ll find each other.

I wouldn’t tell your Cathy, since some sensitive (if inaccurate) information is flying around. Your instinct towards privacy, while cute and old fashioned, is an apt instinct. Looks like the good people of Chicago can’t keep their fucking mouths shut. Will you be able to find a straight job if your work now goes up like a dead dog’s gut? Don’t despair. Your nice long cock dropped so well down my throat while your Cathy beat my clit with the edge of your belt (nice touch – whose idea was that?) so while you might not get another chance to perch in a lifeguard’s throne, you might very well have a future in film. You’re vigorous, discrete, disciplined, clean, and a cutie-pie. Have your Cathy make some films of you alone or you two together. It’ll excite her, so you have no choice but to be excited yourself. You’re excited reading this. You believe you chose this.

Anyway – Cathy! Don’t be insulted on her behalf. I loved playing with you both. She’s kind and a lot of fun, which are virtues I still let myself appreciate in others. Let her know I appreciate how she let me use you. She’s a good girl and has a good future in store, especially with her personal valet running her life. Pick her outfits, pick her makeup, pick her clients, pick her laundry soap – is it already like that? I want to be buried alive, but you want to be buried in chores. Please dream big, Jules.

Rubber valley is where I have the most fun out of all the shoots I have in a year, but I really was lucky that you two showed up. Poor old Merrick Marvel (not even that old – colon cancer). But out with him and in with you. I enjoyed our river talk and I felt very safe in the car with you at the wheel, though I know I tormented you a little (but I’m pretty sure Cathy helped you out later with that – will you write back to me what she did to you, and if she let you come?) At one point you were with Ivan in the garage, and I tried to have a little talk with her about oblivion, but she either understood my point and got scared, or simply didn’t understand. It’s unfortunate, kind of soul-sucking, how our dominant “loved ones” transform into necessary evils. Adjust the tube. Grasp the handle. Move the thigh. Use the vocal cord to form the order. But what do they know? I never knew how to explain.

I’ve attached some personal pictures of me. I like knowing that you have them. I won’t contact you again except under strict business purposes, so let me sum up. Serve Cathy well. Don’t let her get bullied. Flourish creatively. Keep that belt. Fuck as often as your body commands you to fuck (if I suspect that sometimes your body is Cathy’s body by proxy, then this number will double, perhaps triple, but the choice is out of your hands because she owns your cock). You have a lot of growing up to do. Don’t despair. More to come.

We won’t see each other soon, but we’ll see each other again. Ciao! 

I expect improvements.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Lydia S

[dictionarywrites]

hi ! this is just the person who took your tgoi survey and left a long comment abt loki and the grandmaster and the baby n stuff checking that u got it!!

The Game Of Intersections

Hey there, Anon! Thanks for the positive feedback - this is the comment, yeah?

I'm mostly reading tgoi for your excellent domestic all powerful power couple frostmaster content. after all the dubcon stuff it's wonderful to see how they interact with each other so lovingly and AAAAAA its so good!! if you ever wrote more from this point in time abt them id love to read it. i also like the later one, where loki takes on a lot of the grandmaster's traits, but i much prefer reading his dialogue when its still very him because the way their voices contrast each other is just so good! im loving the baby stuff and im super excited to see how having a child will shift the dynamic- will they be brought up to be as evil as their dad? will they have a happy childhood? will loki and the grandmasters behaviour around the kid change? like obviously they wont be having sex as much and stuff around the kid will be way more undercover than im sure sakaar is used to and itll be really interesting seeing how everyone deals with going from "live streamed orgies starring our dictator" to "not in front of the royal child" and like, how en dwi will have to kind of restrain himself from randomly fucking ppl in public at least in certain areas. will he be a good evil dad!! (we already know loki will be a good evil dad.) ily!

I just have like, a few things to say in response, just so that you know what you’re in for, because like...

You know, I’ve ummed and aahed over actually removing the Loki/Grandmaster tag from the Game of Intersections, because there’s a few people who read just for that and I worry the tag has mislead people, but honestly, as the fic goes on and the main characters are established, Frostmaster is very much going to fade into the background, making appearances only now and then. Even then, it’s still too big of a presence to just pretend it isn’t there, but like... It’s not a central thing. 

This isn’t a Frostmaster fic. It’s a fic about the doubles, and the Frostmaster is a background element that’s intentionally made to like, juxtapose the kind of abuse the doubles are facing, but in my opinion, the Frostmaster dynamic is still very much abusive, and that will become more clear as time goes on.

Loki and En Dwi’s children will never be like, characters. They’re not really important enough for that. Again, this isn’t about... Them. You know? The dynamic will change with children, but like, that’s its own unhealthy deal, and as I don’t really write kidfic or care about child characters in most situations, I won’t really be focusing on it. 

And just some warnings re: their actual dynamic, like...

In the beginning, I’m very intentionally portraying the Frostmaster dynamic as one that outwardly appears to be soft and sweet - it’s domestic, it’s casual, it’s evidently formed its own rhythm over a very long time; although Loki is not as powerful as En Dwi, he does have a more established grasp over his own power, and he is very much on the road to becoming an Elder himself; there is a sense of love that Loki very palpably feels for En Dwi, and En Dwi certainly feels what he would call love for Loki himself.

But this isn’t actually a departure from the dubcon I usually write, because that is, invariably, how I see their dynamic.

In order to reach the partnership they had, Loki stood about five hundred years of the Grandmaster abusing him in every way he could think of. He underwent countless horrors and tortures, was kinda pulled in every direction, and then... Stayed. Loki had a lot of issues with his self-esteem, and very much felt cut-off from every other relationship he has in the universe, with former connections either dead or with rifts between them. The Grandmaster, from the perspective of Loki’s very warped world view, seemed the safest thing.

But even now, I don’t believe that the Grandmaster truly sees Loki as his equal, just like he doesn’t see any of the other Elders as his equal. Loki is certainly more important, and he has ascended from “toy” and “pet” to “person”, but En Dwi’s love for him certainly isn’t selfless, and comes with conditions Loki isn’t always comfortable acquiescing to.

This will become clearer as the doubles each get a different handle on their dynamic - some of them being more reliable narrators than others - but while Loki isn’t frightened of the Grandmaster, that doesn’t mean that he won’t still torture Loki on a whim, or that he really respects Loki’s autonomy.

While Loki’s relationship with pain is very different from what it once was, it’s still something he can feel and experience, particularly when it comes to torturing him emotionally and psychologically.

I’m actually interested in the Frostmaster dynamic in this continuity myself, like, I do enjoy writing it and I am interested about exploring it more, but I think I’d be doing you a disservice if I kinda said “oh yeah, it’s soft,” because it isn’t. 

Is Loki happy? Is Loki content? Is somebody in an abusive dynamic no longer being abused, because they’ll take any abuse thrown in their direction? 

In a way. I think that Loki certainly thinks he’s the happiest he’ll ever get. He feels very satisfied, he likes his life, he’ll withstand very uncomfortable things because he gets affection in return. Does that make it okay? That one day the Grandmaster may turn around and just snuff him out like a candle, because it suited his whim for the afternoon? 

These are kinda questions that the doubles are gonna be asking themselves, especially because they’ll be in mixed camps about how much Loki/Grandmaster is what it appears to be, and how comfortable they are with the idea of them having kids in the first place, when it does come up.

But just so that you’re aware that like, this isn’t a soft Frostmaster fic either, and that like, there’s some very fucked up stuff in that regard even still, you know?

Also, while I do appreciate your positive comments, I would definitely encourage you to read the fic as it’s meant to be read - I know it’s a lot of unfamiliar characters, but this is a project I’m genuinely so proud of, and it’s so much better already than anything I’ve written before, maybe ever. The Frostmaster is gonna be a background dynamic, sure, but like, if you’re enjoying the Frostmaster, I do think you’d enjoy the interactions between the “real characters” of the fic.

I gotta admit, like--

It’s your choice if you just want to skim the fic for Frostmaster, and I certainly can’t stop you, but I’d ask that you give the proper continuity a try, you know? I really think you might enjoy it.

Thanks so much again, Anon!

[because-its-important]

making a pico8 game during my first week of RC

tl;dr - Play my first ever solo game right here!

On my first day of Recurse, fellow W1 2017 batcher Ayla Myers (whose work you can peep here) presented on fantasy game consoles, PICO-8 in particular. Her presentation ran roughly 5 minutes, but it only took about half that time to convince me that I should give it a whirl. Since asking for help is more than encouraged here, I approached her immediately afterwards and asked if she could do a quick walkthrough of PICO-8 sometime.

“Yeah, of course. When do you want to start?”

“Uh…” It was already 6pm. “Tomorrow?”

“Okay!”

And lo, 11am the next day found myself and a handful of other Recursers sitting around a table in the Turing meeting room as Ayla showed us the ropes.

PICO-8 is a highly-opinionated, highly-constrained fantasy console with a robust set of tools for quickly developing and sharing games. While I’d played a few PICO-8 games before, I hadn’t realized just how core the commitment to retro-nostalgia is to the engine itself. Here are some fun things I learned about PICO-8:

It includes a pixel art editor and a chiptune mixer, both of which are a delight to use.

PICO-8 games can have 2 players, but each player only gets 6 possible inputs: four directional keys and two others (typically Z and X).

On the programming side, developers are allowed a maximum of ~8k tokens and ~65k characters. This incentivizes some extreme optimization, overloading, and other tricks in larger games that near those limits.

The games are super easy to export and share, either as embeddable HTML and JS or as downloadable executables.

As someone who has shipped dozens of games professionally but has never personally programmed one from start to finish, I decided that it’d be a good exercise to build one during the remaining 4 days of the first week.

On programming in a new language.

PICO-8 uses a subset of Lua, which I’ve never read or written before. Under other circumstances, I probably would have preemptively given up and shied away from using a tool that required learning a new language. Fortunately, my current circumstances are “you are entirely here to learn new things and surrounded by people who can help, actually” so I waved off the anxiety and plunged ahead instead.

Turns out that Lua felt very similar to other game programming I’d done in the past, so there wasn’t any need to worry anyway! (One begins to suspect that there is rarely a ‘need’ to worry… 🤔)

There were a few things that stood out in particular as I built my game.

First, to handle animations - like bobbing a sprite or moving UI elements on and off screen - I found myself repeating a pattern using a counter (incremented every update loop) and a maximum (resetting the counter to 0 when it reached this value). I wasn’t sure if a series of timers would be a better fit for cycling through animation states, especially since this pattern meant assigning at least two tokens per animation. Since I was focused on building this quickly and wasn’t worried about running up against the token limit, however, I figured that consistently using a single pattern that I knew worked was the way to go.

Example of the section of the bat’s update loop that flaps her wings up and down and plays a quick beat on each flap:

Second, I learned that tables are “the only data structuring mechanism” in Lua, and that there is no readily available method to query them about the number of items they’re holding. To solve this, I tracked the count of items as a separate variable and updated the count any time I was adding or removing items from the table. If I were pinched for tokens I’d probably handle this differently, likely by writing a separate function that iterates over the the items in the table and returns the count.

Lastly, and this one was a pleasure to discover, Lua is perfectly a-okay with removing items from a table while iterating over items within that table. For example, during the update loop I want to iterate over each of the moths in the game and check if the bat is in a position to eat them. If the bat should eat the moth, I want to add a quick sound effect, draw some bug-gut splatter to the screen, and remove the moth from the moths table.

I can do all of that like this:

This was a big relief to me because I’ve had trouble doing the same with JavaScript in the past!

On finding relief in constraints and designing a tiny game.

I didn’t have a strong idea when I first started making Sonar, other than that I should be able to finish it in a few days and that it should be about animals. Certainly my appreciation for earth’s non-human lifeforms would stave off any temptation to jump ship if things got confusing or tedious. 🦇

There was a brief moment where I sat, staring at my laptop screen, wondering what I could even do with only two non-directional inputs. It took about five minutes for me to come to my senses. What if this constraint, much like the constraint on tokens or audio channels, was a blessing? “Wow, I’m so glad I only have two buttons to work with,” I told myself, found it to be true. “In fact, let’s start by using only one of those buttons.”

Changing your perspective sure is a time-efficient way to clear obstacles!

On making art and SFX.

While I’d done some game programming (though never a complete solo project), I’d certainly never done game art or audio. In fact, art and audio often felt more intimidating than the rest of the design or development. I didn’t really know anything about creating reasonable looking pixel art or have any kind of background in creating music or sound effects; I just knew that both were important to making a game feel whole.

Once again, PICO-8 provided seamless introduction to these areas of game development. With only 16-colors and 8x8 pixels to worth of space to work with, I never got stuck trying to pick the perfect colors or shape for a sprite. If it worked, it worked, and it only took a matter of seconds to make changes and see them live in the game.

As someone who has zero musical education the responsibility of creating audio made me more than a little apprehensive, but I found the SFX editor similarly quick to learn and pleasant to use. I stopped short of making any ambient music, but I did make a few sounds: a steady but muffled bassline for the bat’s wings flapping, a high-pitched chirp for the echolocation, a gulp for a bug being swallowed, and a confirmation bloop for starting the game. SFX are necessary for giving a non-haptic game the illusion of tactile feedback, and even just these few simple, two-note sounds do a lot of heavy-lifting in making the game feel more responsive.

On jamming fast, alone, in an environment geared towards collaboration.

The single biggest struggle I had while working on this project was worrying if I should be spending my time doing something else. Whenever I spent large chunks of time coding alone, rather than pairing or attending study groups, I couldn’t help but feel like perhaps I was missing the forest for the trees. Shouldn’t the first week be about learning as much as possible about my peers and their interests, in the spirit of future collaboration? Did I somehow find a way to ‘do it wrong?’

Hard to say, what with only one week’s worth of information! My current guess, however, is no. I became familiar with a new language, I learned a new toolset, and I finished a project that I feel at least remotely comfortable showing to other people. Those are pretty solid accomplishments, even in the face of a gnawing suspicion otherwise!

More importantly though, I practiced being comfortable following my own intuition of what an ideal first week might look like. I proved to myself that I could set my own goals and meet them. I also developed a general feel for the ebbs and flows of working with myself as sole author and stakeholder on a project. I’m sure this kind of self-knowledge is valuable at any level, but as a beginner it feels like an especially worthwhile point of reference.

Besides, this was all made possible because I was inspired by a fellow Recurser, asked them for help and got it. 

How could that be wrong? 😊

You can play Sonar right here.

ps. I almost forgot something funny!

This is one of the first things that happened when I began animating my pixel bat:

I laughed at this for a solid minute. It was wonderful, and only more so because I had spent the previous two hours setting up new software, familiarizing myself with basic Lua syntax, and fretting over whether my pixel art would be at all legible.

As one of my friends commented, “OH NO, HIS FLAPS FELL OFF!” And then, “or HER flaps, excuse me.”

Making games is generally time-consuming, tedious, detail-oriented work. On the bright side, many of the bugs and SNAFUs you run into are just silly as heck. The moments where ish goes off the rails can provide exactly the right dose of harmless humor to revitalize your motivation to finish. 👑

edit (11/15/2017)

Once again going above and beyond in her helpfulness, Ayla informs me that you totally can get the length of a list in PICO-8!

Here’s how, using the # operator:

local some_list = {32, 4, 72} print(#some_list) -- prints 3

✌️🦇

edit (11/17/2017)

So probably it makes sense to link to the the code, since becoming a better programmer is the whole gosh darn point! 😑

Also, because it may be helpful, I want to provide a quick outline of how you might also crank out a small game in a narrow window of time:

day1 - purchase and install pico8 (if you’re at RC, talk to someone about using their license!) - install a lua linter on your text editor of choice - run pico8 in console mode, so u can use printh to debug - make a player character that responds to input - make a 2-state animation for that player character (eg. flip between two sprites, add some bobbing motion, etc) - get ppl to Play Your Game!

day2 - make an enemy (note that these could also just be Collectable Objects if u aint feeling like defaulting to violence ✨) - make a 2-state animation for that enemy - give that enemy some passive behavior - disappear the enemy conditionally (eg. touched by player, hit by bullet) - make another enemy with similar but more challenging behavior - get ppl to Play Your Game!

day3 - add an end-condition (eg. eating some amount of bugs) - add SFX. this is more important than music for making your game feel whole, and you can do just about everything you need to with 2 note blips - add UI elements (eg. health bar, bullets left, etc) - add a start screen - add an end screen - get ppl to Play Your Game!

day4 - add finishing touches - export your game as html from PICO8 - host somewhere, like itch.io - write a blog post!! - share with your friends and the rest-o the world

[wildlyhardphilosopher-blog]

Pitbull Puppy Training | Get the Best

New Post has been published on https://dogtraining.dknol.com/english/pitbull-puppy-training-get-the-best/?utm_source=Tumblr&utm_medium=Tumblr+%230+Freda+K+Pless&utm_campaign=SNAP%2Bfrom%2BBest+Dog+Training

Pitbull Puppy Training | Get the Best

Knox Jump up ^ McGreevy 2011, p. 280. Level 5 Office: 18 Heussler Tce, MILTON 4064 Toilet training Move to hand Individualised training is used with dogs that have an urgent or unique training problem such as fear, hyperactivity, aggression (and other related problems), separation anxiety, biting, excessive barking, insecurity, destructive behaviors, walking difficulties, and inappropriate elimination.[80][81] This type of training would normally be undertaken where the problem naturally occurs rather than a class situation. Class training can be effective in encouraging socialization and play with a peer group. Classes are often offered at a more affordable rate and can cover both problem behaviors and teach new skills. Classes can range from puppy and beginner training to more advanced training and skill training such as performing tricks or therapy work. Recreational fishing Jockey Physical and Mental Exercise Special pages Time: 2018-07-21T13:29:56Z In Memory or www.relayservice.gov.au

dog training

puppy training

dog obedience training

fbq('track', 'ViewContent', content_ids: 'dogtraining.dknol', ); Training Your Dog Why Should I Train My Dog? Don’t rush the process. Remember, you’re asking a lot of your dog. If you take it up a notch and he’s really struggling, go back to the previous stage. K9 Dog Obedience Club of Whyalla Inc Download as PDF Main article: Clicker training Klever Kanine Dog Obedience School Inc. Pet Cremations The rule of thumb for dog training is “set the dog up for success”. Supervise the puppy at all times until he/she has learned what they are allowed to chew, and where they are supposed to eliminate. Keeping the puppy on a 3 metre remote leash is an excellent way to keep him/her in sight, and to train them not to wander off. This is particularly helpful with a highly investigative puppy or for a very busy household. Pooches @ Play Bird Show all Find a Delta Dog Trainer Copyright © 2018 · All Rights Reserved · Amy’s Puppy Preschool Vomiting Edit links Web: www.positiveresponse.net.au Puppies for Sale News & Inspectorate no bookings required Who we are Defining Your Own Path as a Trainer w/ Kacie Gauld Your dog’s favorite toy Taking the time to learn alongside your puppy and completing a certificate III in dog training will ensure you are well-equipped to handle any situation at home. A dog behaviour course is a valuable way to prevent the formation of negative habits. Licking people or things too much M T W T F S S Peticulous Animania Albion Park, New South Wales Places – Council parks, facilities and venues This is a 6 week course that will run for 45 minutes either on Thursday evenings. Puppy School (Part 1) Ph: (02) 9797 7922 Houses Jump up ^ Most 1954, p. 7. Bandogs Bay dogs Bird dogs Bulldogs Catch dogs Companion dogs Crossbred dogs Curs Dogos Eskimo dogs Feral dogs Fighting dogs Guard dogs Gun dogs Hairless dogs Herding dogs Hounds Hunting dogs Lap dogs Livestock guardian dogs Mongrels Mountain dogs Molossers Meat dogs Pinschers Pit bulls Pointers Purebred dogs Retrievers Setters Scenthounds Sighthounds Sled dogs Schnauzers Spaniels Spitz Street dogs Terriers Turnspit dogs Village dogs Water dogs Wild dogs Wolfdogs Foobler $49.95– Interactive Food Puzzle. The timer dispenses food throughout the day. Main article: Dog collar Frequently Asked Questions Last night was the first night that Bear hasn’t demanded us to play and wrestle and was happy to lay quietly on his bed while we were relaxing. © National Dog Trainers Federation Specialized training[edit] Find us on Facebook Email Address * CommunitySee all Dogs have become closely associated with humans through domestication and have also become sensitive to human communicative signals. Generally, they have a lot of exposure to human speech, especially during play, and are believed to have a good ability to recognize human speech. Two studies investigated the ability of a single dog that was believed to be exceptional in its understanding of language. Both studies revealed the potential for at least some dogs to develop an understanding of a large number of simple commands on the basis of just the sounds emitted by their owners. However the studies suggested that visual cues from the owner may be important for the understanding of more complex spoken commands.[77] Cuddly Toys Sit and drop at side Menu Algebra Data Probability You can always teach an adult dog to stop chasing cars, wildlife, and farm animals – but it’s a lot easier to teach a puppy not to pick up these unwanted hobbies in the first place. If you’ve got a breed inclined to chase, or a puppy of any kind who you’ll want to have around other animals as an adult, Puppy Un-Chase!® is a smart puppy raising investment. Plus it’s an awful lot of good fun! Media Releases About Cesar Choosing an NDTF Trainer Canberra The 21st century has seen the proliferation of television programs and accompanying books that feature dog training and rehabilitation,[35] including Joel Silverman’s Good Dog U, Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan, It’s Me or the Dog featuring Victoria Stillwell, The Underdog Show, Dogs in the City, and SuperFetch. The Association of Pet Dog Trainers advises that television programs are produced primarily for entertainment, and while all programs will have good and not-so-good points, the viewer should critically evaluate the information before deciding which training tips to adopt.[36] RSPCA Pet Insurance Why does your puppy refuse to eliminate in your presence, even when outdoors? We recommend that you start building a healthy foundation for your puppy with an initial two hour home consult that includes general puppy training as well as: E dogtraining@awlsa.com.au Thank you Allie for your training today here in Canberra! I learned so much and so did Cloudy! With your super informative session and my understanding, Cloudy’s going to be an amazing little girl and… those bad behaviours will be gone! I’m so glad we started this journey!! I can already see changes in her behaviour and how I was affecting her as well with my behaviour! Consistency is going to be the key, but we’re both ready for it and I’m looking forward for nice calm walks and relaxed energy around the house! Amazing, thank you!! See more Jump up ^ Millan 2010, p. 83. Working with and around hazardous substances. Adopt Meet our adoption animals and you could find your new best friend! Search cats, dogs, kittens, puppies and rabbits Read more Choosing/working with a vet Jump up ^ Tinbergen, N (1963). “On aims and methods of ethology”. Zeitschrift für Tierpsychologie. 20 (4): 410–433. doi:10.1111/j.1439-0310.1963.tb01161.x. Sunday 6th May View our Classes Fundraising Coffs Harbour Shelter Training Obedience Trials · 13 April 2017 ©2015 City of Tea Tree Gully To begin the right training for your pawed friend or to learn more about undertaking a canine training course, speak to an NDTF expert online or call 1300 66 44 66 Jack E : Recall dog from play Uncategorized Guard Dog Training Centre Leave it This is a 6 week course that will run for 45 minutes either on Thursday evenings. News Edit links no bookings required Policies and Class Information © 2018 ABC Found a better price? We’ll match it. We had Emma around today to help us learn what to do with our new puppy Max. We really enjoyed her techniques and explanations and can already see our Max responding to the techniques. I also love tha…t the focus is not on using food/treats as reward – her explanations made sense. Thank you Emma! See more Website by Darwin Web Design Pathways Mateusz : Jump up ^ “Animal Learning”. Encyclopædia Britannica. Retrieved September 21, 2011. Page last updated: 11 May 2017 Environmental enrichment Please provide your feedback. Mind Sharon Crichton is the trainer and behavioural consultant for Positive Dog Training. Sharon has a range of qualifications and has been working with dogs for many years. Gradually increase the number of steps you take before giving the treat. Credit Card – Visa or Mastercard I LIKED THIS STORY 8.45am – 5.00pm Sarah Arbon Email: trades@bluedogtraining.com.au Terms of Use Level 1 Basic Dog Manners 7 week course – Upgrade $295.00 Standard $235.00 Each week, our Puppy School trainers provide participants with recommended activities to complete with your dog before the next week’s class. The work you do at home with you dog is vital part of achieving success in PETstock Puppy School! 1.5 Hour Private Training Session (In Home) ABN 65 930 847 824 © 2018 Mars. Incorporated and its Affiliates. All Rights Reserved. Decorations The puppies were sooo cute. I really want one! 🙂 …to train. In around 127-116 B.C. a Roman farmer, Marcus Varro, recorded advice on raising and training puppies for herding livestock. His writings indicate that not only was dog training for specific tasks well established, but that the value of early training was recognised.[5] for cats and dogs. WaggTagg™ Contact details for Council Certificate III In Engineering – Boilermaking/Welding Create a book Reviews Hannah RuessGovernment Accredited Dog Trainer Report cruelty Eye care Greeting guests calmly Adopting from a breeder Search Learn more about the classes Online Course -Basic Dog Manners – Level 1 Copyright © 2018 Animal Welfare League of South Australia Careers with Dogs interaction Jump up ^ Millan 2010, p. 88. In Home Training Deaf, or hearing or speech impaired? 1300 4 777 22 Tool Definition Animal Cruelty amp Welfare Email Tools Lesson Time: 1hr per wk The Advertiser Facebook Basic health and care 7. Please feel free to add any other comments & suggestions you may have for improving our courses. Best Dog Obedience Training | Get the Best Best Dog Obedience Training | Top Online Resource Here Best Dog Obedience Training | Top Online Resource Available Here Legal | Sitemap

[solienna]

i was going to be like 'all of them' but that would be mean so instead im 'just' going to ask for 1, 4, 8, 10, 13, 17, 21, 28, 32, 33, 35, 47, 50,

putting this under a readmore bc meander!!! you spoil me

01: When did you first start writing?      okay i actually am gonna give you two answers to this question bc i feel like i started writing at two periods in my life. the first time i actually started writing was in third grade because i had like. the BEST third grade teacher, he was awesome and in my eyes was like, the best artist i had ever met just bc he had a basic grasp of how to draw shit and i absolutely didn’t and still don’t, every time teachers tell me to draw things for an assignment i lose ten years off my lifespan but anyways!! off topic. he really encouraged creativity and i was in a class with one of my friends, his name was like john or michael or something, and i would write and he would illustrate (i thought he was the second-best artist i had ever met just bc he also had a basic grasp on drawing and i still didn’t). i wrote about like. this dog and his name was super yuff and got his powers through lightning that struck him and he just flew around and like. idk he did a lot of shit, i still have the stories i wrote. but like i was DEDICATED to this character and so was my illustrator friend. i remember one weekend i was just sitting on my bed with a bunch of folded up printer paper just writing about this dumb superhero dog that somehow ended up in like the halo universe bc even back then i was obsessed with video games. that was the first thing i actually WROTE.         HOWEVER. after third grade i just took a huge break. like not intentionally, of course. i loved writing but i didn’t know it was my THING yet. i didn’t really have a thing yet, it was only third grade ok. HOWEVER. when i transitioned into middle school that’s when i picked up writing again. i don’t even remember why. all i know was that my dad had bought skyrim and he was playing it and just by watching it i LOVED it. i adored the history behind the game and i just loved the graphics, and when i started playing the game i got HOOKED. stayed up entire nights just doing random side quests for npcs and feeling a huge goddamn hero, let me save this talking dog from the wrath of his daedric master nbd, just doing my job, let me set all these beehives on fire and get mauled by a bear, cool cool. and one day i just? was like wow, why don’t i write a story about it! about my skyrim OC going to solstheim and falling in love with the aloof nd really sarcastic and interesting teldryn sero (who still remains one of my favorite skyrim npcs to this day)!! and i thought i was Hot Shit too, i thought i fucking invented fanfiction. and then i found wattpad and then that was that folks, i got hooked on writing all over again and i still am

04: Have you ever thrown a book across the room?      mmmm not that i can recall? i’m not really a book-thrower, i’m more of a book-holder. like if something really shocking happens in a book i feel like i’d be more likely to hug it close to my chest than throw it08: What’s the best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten?      tbh pretty much everything you’ve told me meander!! i don’t really think i’d be writing that much if not for you. honestly you flatter me on a daily basis with your compliments about my really pretentious use of metaphors in like every single paragraph and basically just with your interest in all of my writing projects even for fandoms you’re not technically in!! i’ve never really been told by anyone that i’ve got a way with words and when you told me that i was like wow!! people actually like the shit i write, that’s cool! that’s real cool my guy10: What’s your biggest writer pet-peeve?      honestly i THRIVE on feedback. i took a huge writing break like a few years ago just because i couldn’t WRITE the way i used to. to just sit down and spew out 5000 word chapters on a whim wasn’t something i could feasibly DO anymore. i thought i lost my touch or something but it was honestly just because i didn’t get enough feedback. again shout out to u meander because you legit FLOODED me with feedback on like. everything. i’m still over the moon about half the shit you’ve told me like a year ago. tbh half the reason i yell in the tags is because creators read the tags!! they really do!! so i wanna leave some positive feedback for them because i want them to know that i liked whatever it was that they made!!

13: What’s your favorite writing quote?       it’s not really a writing quote but!! “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” -C.S. Lewis21: Do you outline?      i honestly burst out laughing when i saw this question, i do not in any way whatsoever outline anything bc apparently i hate myself. ok the last time i outlined a story was like four years ago and it worked…. really well…… so for some reason i was like wow how about we not make our lives easier. no outlining our fics we ruin our own writing projects like men

28: Which do you find hardest: the beginning, the middle, or the end?      everything, everything is hard, i can’t write in a linear fashion. nah but tbh i feel like it’s the middle? like what do you even do. what is the middle all about. i’ve never met her32: How do you feel about friends and close relatives reading your work?      ABSOLUTELY NOT. get them away. i am very protective of my writing bc it’s personal to me. like i don’t want y’all reading my shit and then going up to me in real life thinking you know all my secrets bc if u read my shit you WILL know all my secrets, i painstakingly pour my heart into everything i write because in everything i do, i try REALLY REALLY hard. if i let u read my writing it’s a show of trust33: Are you interested in having your work published?      in its current state? probably not!! maybe later on down the road would be nice, but i’ve still got a lot to learn //side-eyes all my failed attempts at witty dialogue35: What’s your favorite time of day for writing?      nighttime. like dead of the night, i’m in bed with my phone and should be asleep right now but instead i’m gonna grab my laptop and fucking dump out all the words in my brain onto this word document. other than that i honestly just write during school a lot? like when we get free time i’m either studying for a test or writing.47: If you could steal one character from another author and make then yours, who would it be and why?      i want to take preston garvey out of bethesda’s hands. i’ve fallen in love with him over the course of just writing one scene for his character study. it’s the second-to-last scene (bc i cant write in linear order) and like. gosh. i want him to be my character, he’s so sad but also so optimistic and he tries so hard. ok those kinds of characters are my Type, i love characters who try really hard 

50: If you could live in any fictional world, which would it be?      i’m honestly not really sure? like hardcore i love daydreaming but it’s never about myself doing cool things, it’s about characters doing cool things. i kinda wanna meet an omnic tho, they seem really chill. maybe like live in falkreath? it’s really chill and pretty there and the mountains are really looming and i like that. imagine meeting the dragonborn and they buy out your entire store and then just leave. thats fucking crazy my guy

[margaretbeagle]

FINAL STAGE INTERVIEW: Can you help me get through this 2.5 hour interview for marketing lead position at a startup. Their first lead hire.

So i've had two rounds already, one with HR (30 mins), one with Managing Director/Founder (45 mins) - after this interview i sent a basic framework for how i would approach a marketing strategy - Lean Canvas (one page marketing plan), SWOT analysis, customer journey, personas etc etc ). It's a startup with 3 co-founders. The 2.5 hours is split like this:

First hour: HR Manager and Managing Director (founder).

Second hour: The other MD ( two founders have MD as their linkedin title) and Non Executive Director.

30 mins: questions from me and meet with some of the team already employed (there are 19 employees in total)

I don't know what to expect in this round. The most recent interview got into a lot of leadership style questions and some basic questions about my experience with various softwares and campaign management. It was a great chat and I felt very encouraged and that he was super interested. All so far have been on video from home because of covid.

They just recently started using Hubspot as their CRM and I have good experience with this software.

Here's the JD

Building and implementing our digital marketing strategy with a focus on B2C demand generation, leading our digital marketing team of 3-5 people

Setting up, improving, and overseeing marketing campaigns across diverse digital channels, identifying trends and insights as well as using tools like HubSpot and Google Marketing Platform

Defining our strategic social media and content marketing plan based on relevant and measurable KPIs and its associated budget across campaigns and channels

Tracking and ensuring timely implementation of defined marketing initiatives as well as automating the data collection to measure ROI per channel, market, and product

Collaborating with the founders on organizational and strategic topics

Your Profile

3+ years of experience in Digital Marketing with a focus on B2C as well as experience in setting up marketing campaigns

Proficiency with CRM tools, preferably HubSpot and other relevant tools

Track record delivering customer acquisition performance and managing performance marketing channels including SEM paid social, display, affiliate, email

Up to date with the latest marketing technology and best practices

Technical, structured, and analytical thinking as well as proactive attitude and entrepreneurial spirit

Fluent in English, further languages, and experience in an international and/ or startup setting are a plus

I have the interview on 15th June and I know it's asking a lot, but i'm out of practice with this stage, i've been job searching for a year, interviewing for 8 months, finally get to last round for a company i'm really into. I want this job so bad. I have a good shot since i'm at the final stage already and had a good vibe and good feedback already from HR and one Founder.

What are your best tips, ideas, preparation you would do etc etc. Help me get this job y'all!

submitted by /u/xanthopants [link] [comments] FINAL STAGE INTERVIEW: Can you help me get through this 2.5 hour interview for marketing lead position at a startup. Their first lead hire. published first on https://improfitninja.weebly.com/

[commissarraege]

A visit to a Trump "Campaign Rally" in Florida

I wanted to post this. I read it and it perfectly sums up, albeit in a more religious context, the evil we are facing. Please, read it. It plainly shows how this man brings out the worst in humanity. I encourage all to read this in its entirety and repost as much as humanly possible. Entire read from a one Joel Tooley on Trumps visit to Melbourne, FL--- "What I am about to write and what you are about to read may make some people very uncomfortable, if not angry. That is not my intention nor is it okay with me to cause anyone to stumble. That being said, what I experienced tonight was so dramatic that I cannot help but reflect on it and share what I experienced. A few days ago, people across the United States heard the news that our newly elected President would be visiting Melbourne, Florida – our hometown. It is no surprise to many that I do not support many of the objectives and "campaignisms" of Donald Trump. I know many people who voted for him - friends, family, church people who all voted for their own reasons. The point of this experience is not to relay all of the reasons why I think he should not be the president. Those points are moot – he IS our President. Now, I am enough of a sentimentalist that when I found out THEEEE President was coming to town, I got online quickly and reserved two tickets. The tickets were being given away by the Trump-Pence campaign; I found it odd that the tickets indicated that this was not a government/White House event & that this was a campaign event. I have, of course, posted a joking post about that earlier. What I discovered was that by hosting this as a campaign event, Mr. Trump could determine who was and was not allowed in the venue. If he came on an official visit, they could not prohibit anyone from entering and he couldn't sell his campaign merchandise. So, in essence, he was only allowing his supporters in the room. Well, with a few exceptions… I talked my 11-year-old daughter into coming with me. After all, how many times do you get to see the President of the United States in person – let alone in your hometown? I was eager for her to have this experience. It has to be a pretty cool thing, as a kid to see Air Force One, the President and the First Lady. The event started at 5 PM; we got in line at the venue shortly after 2 PM and the line was already pretty long. There are several mini stories to be told about that experience but don't need to be told for this post. Suffice it to say, it is always an intriguing sociological experience to be surrounded by people in line for something for which they are fanatics - whether it is for a movie premier, a live concert, the release of the latest beanie baby or Cabbage Patch kid. Fanatic people are fascinating to me. While I am not a fan of Trump, I certainly did not want to come across as a vigilante protester while standing amongst some of his most adoring fans. I truly wanted to see if what I was going to witness in person was any different than what I had observed on TV. The entry into the event was very impressive. I have always admired the professional posturing of the Secret Service, including those from our own local law-enforcement who were on duty serving in this capacity. These are women and men who should be highly commended for placing their lives on the line. We entered the venue at 3 PM, two hours before the event started. As we entered, everyone was being handed pom-poms and Trump campaign signs. The hosts made sure everyone had a sign in their hand. Someone shoved one into my hand and gave pom-poms to my daughter. I felt like a sheep in wolves clothing. Music was playing loudly throughout the venue as it filled up with hundreds of people. I would guess there were eventually at least 3000 people in the room. It was nowhere near full, but there certainly were a lot of people there. From my view, the crowd was 99.9% white folk. I did see a row of about 10-12 supporters who were black, wearing T-shirts that said, "Trump and Republicans are not racist" - they were positioned in the seating area directly behind the podium. We were about three rows of people from the very front and had a very good position to view the President and the platform. As people were coming in, there was a lot of excitement and a strong sense of patriotism. Approximately every 15 minutes, the music would be a little more enthusiastic and party-like. I posted my play-by-play feedback of "God bless the USA!" in an earlier post...it was almost church-like. People sang along, raising their hands and were emotionally moved by this anthem. It was intriguing to watch. People were being ushered into a deeply religious experience...and it made me completely uncomfortable. I love my country; I honor those who sacrificed their lives for our freedom and I respect our history and what we stand for, but what I experienced in that moment sent shivers down my spine. I felt like people were here to worship an ideology along with the man who was leading it. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't the song per se – it was this inexplicable movement that was happening in the room. It was a religious zeal. You might liken it to the experience fans would have after their favorite team won the Super Bowl – faces painted, banners flying, confetti in the air and celebrating. But this – this was deeper. A couple of local politicians got up to bring greetings followed by state representative, followed by one of our Congress representatives. A soloist sang, "God bless America" and there was a strong sense of patriotism in the room. A pastor got up to pray and repeatedly prayed throughout his prayer, "Thank you for making this the greatest nation on earth…in Jesus' name." Uh-uh. No. No way, josé. Pastor, this is not the greatest nation on earth. The greatest nation on earth does not exist. Are we a great nation? Definitely. But there are many other great nations as well. Pastor, you have your eyes on a different kind of "greatness" and certainly a different kind of kingdom. Shame on you for praying those words in Jesus' name! Suddenly, the music changed from the pep rally theme to something that seemed more Star Wars themed. The crowd went crazy and turned towards the opening of the airplane hangar that was the venue, just as Air Force One pulled up. What a magnificent sight! That enormous airliner is absolutely breathtaking. The crowd was going wild; signs waving in the air, people cheering, and every cell phone was positioned to take photos and video. As the First Lady and the President emerged at the top of the stairs, the air was electric! It really is a magnificent image to see in person! As they entered the venue and walked to the platform, there was terrific celebration. I have been in the room when other Presidents were in a similar mode – it is always such a meaningful experience to be that close to them, regardless of whether or not you view them with adoration. Theeeee President of the USA! The First Lady approached the platform and in her rich accent, began to recite the Lord's prayer. I can't explain it, but I felt sick. This wasn't a prayer beseeching the presence of Almighty God, it felt theatrical and manipulative. People across the room were reciting it as if it were a pep squad cheer. At the close of the prayer, the room erupted in cheering. It was so uncomfortable. I observed that Mr. Trump did not recite the prayer until the very last line, "be the glory forever and ever, amen!" As he raised his hands in the air, evoking a cheer from the crowd, "USA! USA! USA!" Just as the President begin to speak, a short grandmotherly lady in front of us asked me if I would help hold her walker – the kind that has a seat built into it. She said, "I need to climb up on it and hold something up." Such an odd request at such an odd place at such an odd time. So, I helped her. She held a pillowcase that had something written on the front of it, words I could not see. She climbed up onto the seat, wobbly-legged and held the sign up above her head. People in front of her turned around and started jeering and yelling at her. After holding her sign up for about 10 seconds, she climbed back down and thanked me. I asked her what her sign said – it read, "You had your chance, now resign!" The very first words out of the President's mouth were the words of a bully. That is not simply one person's perspective, it is factual. He immediately began badgering and criticizing the media; like a bully inciting a crowd. Now, do I think the media needs to be held to a high standard and be able to be held accountable? Absolutely! The media as a whole has become sadly non-journalistic and more entertainment, in my opinion. Call it what you will, but I was completely dumbfounded as the most powerful leader in the world began his speech by badgering the media. The crowd began screaming angrily at the entire press corps that was present. He could have said something inspiring and worthy of a Tweet or Facebook post, instead he emerged as an overly powerful bully. Literally, everything that he began speaking about evoked this angry response from the crowd. Immediately following the words of prayer that Jesus taught his followers… It was then that I heard two ladies off to my left chanting, not yelling or screaming but chanting, "T-R....U-M-P; that's how you spell - bigotry!" They repeated the rhyme over and over. Two ladies in front of them began seething and screaming in their face while shaking their Trump signs at them. Another couple standing behind them started screaming at them as well. One of the chanting ladies had her eight-year-old daughter on her back; the other had a severely disabled child in a wheelchair in front of her. As they continued chanting, the people around them became violently enraged. One angry man grabbed the lady's arm - that's when I went into action. I barged through the crowd and yelled at them to back off. My heart wasn't racing; I just instinctively became a protector. I didn't actually want a Trump sign, but one of the volunteers had shoved it into my hands as I walked through the door earlier; "Make America Great Again!" That sign probably saved someone from getting hurt. I held the sign close to my chest as I positioned myself between the chanting protesters and the angry mob. My 11-year-old daughter was clinging to my arm, sobbing in fear. The two angry, screaming ladies looked at me, both of them raised their middle finger at me in my face and repeatedly yelled, "F*#% YOU!" Repeatedly. I calmly responded, "No thank you, I'm happily married." Their faces and their voices were filled with demonic anger. I have been in places and experiences before where demonic activity was palpable. The power of the Holy Spirit of God was protecting me in those moments and was once again protecting me and my daughter in this moment. I raised my voice and calmly said, "These ladies have the right to do what they are doing and they are harming no one; this is America and they a right to express themselves in this way. They are harming no one." A couple of other people around me stepped in and supported me in protecting them as a barrier, as well. My daughter was shaking in fear as she clung to me. The one man behind the protesters shoved himself forward, grabbed the lady by the arm and screamed with multiple expletives, "I'm going to take you out! This is my president and nobody has the right to disrespect him and nobody has the right to keep me from hearing him!" I wish I could have captured the expressions of that man on camera. I will never forget him. The little girl on her mother's back was crying, completely frightened. I leaned forward and reassured her in her ear, "Your mommy is being brave and we will not let these people hurt you. You are afraid because these are angry, awful people. We will not let them hurt you or your mommy. You are being so brave and your mommy is doing something very brave." That's when another lady screamed in my face that what I was doing was un-American. I just chuckled and responded, "What I am doing is completely American – I'm standing up for people who are being bullied – it doesn't matter if I agree with them or not. You came here to see the President, now ignore these ladies, turn around and enjoy the show." Without explanation, they calm down and turned around to hear what Trump had to say. The two protesters then moved towards the back and left the building. I got a couple of high-fives and "thanks for stepping up for them" from bystanders . I wanted to say, "Thanks. Where were you when the the demons were screaming and fists were getting ready to start swinging?" Once again, the environment reminded me of some church experiences I've had. Bystanders. I have no clue what Trump was saying at that point – draining the swamp, vetting refugees, and other things. Oh yeah, I heard people chanting, "Build that wall, build that wall!" I realized then that we were not listening to someone presidential, we were listening to someone terribly powerful. My kid was shaken - she had just seen some of the worst of humanity. We edged ourselves away from the front of the room to the opening of the hangar so we could get a clearer picture of Air Force One. I wanted to give her at least one positive presidential memory. The crowd was much thinner at the back of the room, people were leaving by the hundreds. Outside, there were two jumbotrons set up for a potential overflow – there really wasn't a need for them. There were maybe a couple of hundred people outside watching on the big screens. Not too far behind that group was a large group of protesters. Inside, Trump had rallied the group by giving a little bit of attention to the "paid protesters outside." Now, I can't speak for all of them, but I asked a few where they were from and why they were there - every single one of them were from different cities in Florida and could quickly articulate why they were there. They were not paid protesters – not the ones I spoke with. I'm trying to separate how I actually feel about this man and his campaignisms. I know why people voted for him; I know why people voted against his opponent. But, at the end of the day, what I felt from his leadership in this experience was actually horrifying. There was palpable fear in the room. There was thick anger and vengeance. He was counting on it. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that it would not have taken very much for him to have called this group of people into some kind of riotous reaction. Now, not everyone in the room was a part of the angry mob mentality – I looked around the room and saw many people who could quite easily be folks from my neighborhood, folks from my church, folks who were planning to go grab a bite to eat at Cracker Barrel afterwards. Folks who truly wanted to see America "great." The people who support the Republican Party want to see some needed changes in the government – the people that were there for that reason, are by and large good folks. But those are not the people the President was inciting – they are not the people he was leading. He was rallying the angry, vigilant ones. As we began to leave, I knew my daughter could not possibly care less about Air Force One or the fact that she saw the President of the United States and his wife, in the flesh. I truly had hoped that she could have had that sentimental experience. What she WILL remember is the angry, violent man screaming demonic vitriol at a child and her mother. She will remember the two ladies screaming at her Dad, her pastor – flipping the middle finger and using the F word repeatedly. Now, I know there are people who are convinced that I am jaded and cannot fairly give this man a fair chance. Perhaps that's true. But please remember, especially those of you who know me well, I am a student of culture and human behavior. I am not a stubborn, close minded individual who likes to stick to the status quo. I know there are people who long for me to see the good things about this President and to talk about THOSE things. I know there are people who want me to realize that not everything he is doing is bad and that every President has their strengths and weaknesses and… I know there are people who, when they see these words and hear my thoughts will feel badly because perhaps they can't like me as much as they once did because they don't agree with me. They want me to like the President that they like – they want me to see him the way they see him. I'm sorry. I cannot. You see, the angry, F-word-spewing man is what has been depended on throughout this campaign and is the one who is still being counted on to sustain the message. I tried. As we left the room, these words were echoing in my mind, "Our Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be Thy name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done..." At the end of the day, I'm a citizen of a nation - I have a leader who God is very aware and who has tremendous responsibilities. I MUST and will pray for him. I'm a citizen of this world and I must continue to see beyond my own limited world view to seek ways to obediently serve Christ. But greater still, I am a citizen of a different kind of Kingdom - the Kingdom that strives for peace, mercy, kindness and a love-relationship with the King of kings. May God have mercy on me."