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adultingautistic · 4 years ago

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help? rambling! sorry for that thing.

(saw in the ask-section: so written today as of the 20th of August in the year 2020)

Hey,

No idea how to approach this. Though first things first: English is not my native language and I have some trouble with languages (even my native) [mostly speaking and writing… and understanding (the hearing part but sometime also the meaning part) – okay I just can’t language – sorry] and this thingy here will be long, again – sorry Though I learned to understand written english just so I could read more fanfictions (‘cause the ones in my native language didn’t satisfy me anymore) - spend a whole summer just reading stuff in english and now I *need* to read everything in english and watch things in their native production language (synchro is weird af) and if possible with subtitles (books: if it’s the authors native language; otherwise both languages (german and english) would be translated and then it doesn’t really matter, most of the time anyway)

WARNING: Messy, chaotic and about 2500 words long. Sorry. and it isn’t proof read and some sentences could be… not a sentence

I think I might be autistic / have adhd ? not sure, going to someone (professional) is not really an option as that would take at least 6 to 12 month to even get maybe a appointment… and it involves a lot of social interaction that would stress all people – even those that don’t have to think about *every* interaction they have with eachother… like no planning or thinking about what you have to say or can’t say and what’s appropriate? Like that is a thing – always wondered how most people got through life when everything is so damn hard. It is apparently a thing that isn’t so quite normal… lol*

Okay, most of the time (that I remember) wondered how that worked for everyone else except me – how they get through life thinking all those things, or well… don’t thinking all those things like HOW?!? Why can you “people”? and I learned it’s important if you’re a girl or not; so yeah, girl here. Followed adhd / autism stuff for a few month / weeks and now again for the last days (it’s an on and off thing). so yeah, I can relate to so much on like everything. Long time I thought, nah, can’t have it: good in school (more so when I was younger but never actually bad), finished school good (though could have been better, if I had studied once (like for my oral exam, I opened the document that should help us learn one whole time, the morning of the exam so yeah, not good at that; brain just goes, heard it once, why should I read this information? Can’t really recall it but while reading I “know” it, so WhAt Is STuDyInG?)) anyway (at this point I would have deleted about everything but like 3 or 4 sentences because… rambling. Sorry, but I think it is important what’s actually going on in my brain; I know it’s hard to read lol) considering all those things I read here (and on other blogs and stuff), I would explain so much about what’s going on in my life (I made a document where I collect all that stuff but it’s redundant sometimes and really messy; try to make a short list with most important things).

Like as a kid, it took me longer than other kids for this social stuff (not like it got “everything”, just enough to communicate more or less lol) or I was so freaking focused on rules; one example is at the train station, there is this line to indicate where you should wait for the train and the other side is where you’re allowed to step once the train is in the station – I lost it, when that rule wasn’t followed (never really big, loud but I was really upset – you know, I learned that it isn’t “allowed” to act out in public). Another thing, I would always get the adults (or kids) around me to speak to others: I mean, I wanted ice cream? Couldn’t order it (still hard to this day – I’m 19 years old btw) or any other basic interaction stuff – I mean I broke every connection to my best friend (in 6th grade, so I was like 10 or 11) because he broke a rule while playing “hide and seek” like yeah, one rule one time while playing and I didn’t speak to him for like 6-7 years (met him at driving school again lol) and I still have his book because I didn’t want anything to do with him anymore (now it’s just awkward to give it back).

As I was younger I loved reading, couldn’t get me away from it – now not so much lol (books or reading in general is so hard sometimes… most of the time) – but that is more like: I lost myself in the books and was super focused on it – now I “don’t have time” as in I can’t really read a book if I don’t have theoretically the whole day and night – cause if I have to do stuff later “there is not enough time to read a book” because I could get lost in it and miss stuff and 5 hours is like 5 minutes, right? (that is a part of “time blindness”, am I mistaken? – never really related to that on a deeper level but the longer it think about it, the more stuff comes to my mind that could be part of it lol / like I always at least try to) get ready when I want to visit my grandparents, it’s like a ten minute walk so I need at least 45 minutes to prepare. Example: want to be there at 14:00 so I should go to the bathroom around 13:15 the latest, bathroom always takes long ‘cause I get distracted, so I then somehow get going around 13:50 – spoiler: I need more like at least 15 minutes not less then 10 to get to my grandparents by foot – and where is the time? I got out of the bathroom somewhere before 13:40 most of the time – I do the exact same things every time and sometimes I’m like: oh, it’s like 13:25/13:30, why would I think I need so much time to get ready? And then most often I need longer – and no, then I start to got even earlier (bathroom is like the first thing in the routine I do before I have to leave the house) and somehow it is now 13:45 and I just leave the bathroom – HOW??)

Okay, MSWord tells me, I have written like almost a 1100 words and haven’t even looked at my 11 page document – sorry (can I even write that many words in an ask at tumblr?)

Another thing I found is RSD – of my god (I usually don’t like to use it like that but omg), that explains so much – don’t want to write too much (missed quite a few “too”s I think lol hope you understand anyway) – I really react so intense to small, constructive criticism and I didn’t (don’t) understand why; and question everything; I remember everything I did wrong (so many “small” things but I’m such bad at human sometimes) and the feels and oh no, I didn’t even do something wrong, my coworker/sort-of-not-really-friend told me how I could have slightly improved what I did: I’m such a bad human, I can’t do anything right and they won’t want to have to do anything with me again – thank you brain, not helpful. One other thing was, like I asked for one weekend of and I wasn’t allowed to take it ‘cause they planned to or already shifted an event (couldn’t really focus on that) to that weekend and I didn’t know it and when they said “no”, in that situation I could have lost it, I was almost in tears (you do not cry in public lol) and thought, how could I even ask that and be soo egoistic (along the lines of that).

This next one is just the text copied from a post but that is like exactly what it is for me:

“I literally thought all the symptoms were the default way a brain works, so you’re telling me some of you can “choose” what to pay attention to? Like, if you know you absolutely have to listen to and remember something you just “can” even if you don’t like it?

And if you’re at a restaurant and three other tables are having conversations you don’t just automatically absorb everything they’re saying?

And if you know you have to do something within the next hour it won’t just remind you of a different subject entirely which reminds you of another different subject entirely and you don’t just take you three days to remember the original thing you were doing????”

so true lol.

Found another post with autism signs in adults (that my have been missed as kids), I took out everything I don’t really relate to (like 5 or 6 things lol):

- may constantly rehears conversations or interactions

- may feel as though you are always on stage

- may have a few close friends, not many acquaintances

- may struggle with other people breaking rules (RULES ARE ABSOLUT – HOW CAN YOU BREAK THEM?)

- may often fidget, chew, tap, or other repetitive behaviors

- may get more or less upset at something than is “appropriate”

- �� may struggle to adjust when plans change without warning

- may have routines that don’t seem to have a real purpose

- may struggle in situations that are unfamiliar

- may be a very picky eater with few preferred foods

- may struggle with noises, touching, or sensory input

- may struggle to process visual or auditory information

- may struggle to settle body down enough for restful sleep (though I now have a weighted blanket and that’s soo awesome, it really helps at least a bit (don’t wake up that often at night anymore))

- may struggle to keep track of a fast conversation

- may take jokes very literally, and not understand teasing

- may miss sarcasm or subtleties while others are speaking

I understand teasing, I can more or less successful tease and be sarcastic but I’m not sure if people are teasing me. I do not prefer to communicate via text or email. It is still very stressful for me - a telephone is also bad (tone and stuff, not understanding the words correct and not even seeing the other person and in person is also bad – so no to communication and/or interaction lol)

I could provide example for everything but I’m at around 1700 words and just no.

Didn’t really mention sensory stuff, another post I found: “basically, your day-to-day sensory input shouldn’t be causing you distress. sounds wild, i know, but it’s not neurotypical for the stimuli (be it sound, touch, visual, etc etc) you encounter on a day-to-day basis to make you unhappy. also, if busy shopping malls or crowded parties consistently cause you distress or agitation, that’s a neurodiverse thing. it sounds strange, but apparently but yeah, it’s normal for most people to expect to be comfortable in their day to day surroundings.”

Like on one level, I knew it couldn’t be quite “normal” to be always uneasy in “normal” day to day surroundings but like, I can’t understand how people can not find it hard to be in such environment (I heard some enjoy it even, like HOW?).

Random interjection ‘cause I wanted to say something to thing from the beginning: * “Allistics do not “prepare” in order to socialize. They do not have scripts. They do not write them, memorize them, or use them. They just magically know what to say. “ yeah, wow, didn’t realise that for a long time, and it is really magically. But somehow they can; I still ask my mom to help me write emails (more or less important ones) ‘cause it’s hard and she’s always like: “we do it so often, why do you still need help, just write” – not helpful and we didn’t do it actually ‘cause it is a complete different situation now lol every new email is a new thing… I need to think about what to say to the cashier every damn time I’m in the supermarket lol; if I don’t have to talk, someone else orders for me (they thinks I’m lazy or so, I don’t know but it’s so hard and you know what to do, so you can do it lol)

And that executive dysfunction thingy also explains a lot – I mean, I like languages, I’m just not good at that speaking/hearing the words thing – still, I learn Ancient Greek as a sort of hobby (I mean, I learn it for so long now, it’s too late to stop, that would be weird and it is really interesting, just really hard) and I needed like 7 hours to do the work (like, got out of bed, got breakfast, started the computer and did like 30 minutes of working, then did some stuff on the internet for like an hour and then ate my forgotten breakfast, then did some more browsing (I need to do the work cause I have to send it to my teacher this evening lol) some work for like almost an hour, some more phone, a bit of work – and so on. I did some work (but like so many people would have done more or needed less time lol) – anyway I know I really need to work on the language and I just… don’t. arg, that sucks so much, every week I think, I could start doing things on Saturday and then everyday a bit so I have like six days to do some work and every time it’s Thursday and I’m like, lol 10 hours for doing a weeks work. And it’s not like I could focus for that 10 hours – except when I can but sadly it’s almost never on the things I *need* to do. Anyway if my parents hadn’t provided dinner, I wouldn’t have eaten more than breakfast today – anyways sometime I want ice cream or other stuff and I just… can’t do it like I’m sitting here for an hour now, I’m so freaking bored and I just want ice cream but do I move? Nope, and doing something to not feel bored? Nope. I also mean to get my thingy for my wrist ‘cause I have some problems and typing hurts but lol, nope. An example as kid would be I needed hours to dry myself after a shower and just sit on the floor in my room doing more or less nothing or playing (I now a have strategy but yeah)

So, yeah, sorry; I think it’s quite possible that I’m autistic / have adhd, both or so – am I making things up and this is just my mind going a bit wild? (also, I’ve done some online “tests”; most of the time I get like ¾ of the maximal points, but at least always more than half the full points)

Sorry, it’s a messy, long thing but I need a bit of an advice or so – just, like “yeah, could be possible” or “nope.”

Thanks if you made it to the end! 20.08.2020

PS. could write so much more in my mind but nope. i think one can get my point. otherwise just ask me

PPS. actually talked with my grandmother about it, lol, she said, it would explain some things she wondered about lol (never thought i would talk in real life with someone about it but i really needed to talk about my thoughts and then i couldn’t shut up and i was so worried but she is kinda cool with it? though she doen’t really know anything about the topic except what i told her so yeah. i acually have no clue how to approach my mum (even if it isn’t autism/adhd or so, i think i have to talk about how i tick a bit lol) (sorry, just had to write it a least lol)

so sorry, needed a part two (cause brain is stupid)

Okay, part two (I’m so sorry) (now it is the 21st of August 2020)

There is so much more I can write about: sorry, again like 1300 words.

Like, special interests – I have no idea; as I kid my teacher had to regularly remind me that I have to leave the classroom for break – cause I was so into my book that I didn’t hear anyone leaving the room or the bell; now I can get really invested in some fanfictions (if I have like five days for myself and nothing to do, it is like 3 books without a break) and I’m at a point where I don’t find (good) new stuff and read the same fanfic again and again (I know exactly what will happen and still love it), sometimes I don’t read it for like a few weeks or month and then like 5 times back to back. I absolutely love Doctor Who (but I’m not excessively obsessive or so and don’t know that many facts just some), just can ramble for a few minutes (okay, everyone who would listen speaks German and my main input for Doctor Who is English, so hard to translate that and stuff). Well back to books: I love them; even though I can’t properly focus much these day, I love them, I need them: but why? I hate that when book covers changes or the side of the book like it’s: publisher, name of book, author and the next book is like name of the book, publisher, author and all is mixed up or the symbol of the publisher is slightly different: why? Can’t it be consistent? Why??.

Routines, rituals and stuff. Yeah, I have for example this one street (they repaired the street but there is a small crack now), I have to cross it on the side that is where the street crosses another and then the last 3 steps have to be on the other side and the fourth is stepping on the sidewalk (I really can’t do it any other way and I hate this one car that always blocks the crack a bit – it shouldn’t be standing there ‘cause it’s almost directly in the crossing lol) when I still was going to school, my way home was very specific and one time there was a building/construction site (just some repairs or work on the pipe lines in the ground) and the first time I saw this I was stressed after a long day of school and almost lost it right there and then, because I couldn’t walk my normal way (and yes, at home I cried at bit); for the next few weeks my way back home was hell. I have some specific routines for the bathroom and showering (though most people have that, right?). I have to pack my things and then my stuff like keys and such in the same way every time. When I need a walk I have like two (or three) routes I can take and I have to do them and almost can’t change them after I started (I can though it really throws me off and I don’t feel really well after that). One time – cause Covid-19 and stuff – you need to use a shopping cart where I live in order to enter the supermarket (so you keep more distance) – so, I went to the market by foot and had everything planned, shortly before I am at the store I realise I don’t have a “chip” (thingy you need to use the shopping cart; don’t know if you know what I mean) and I lost it – my plans and routine how I go shopping to that market (if by foot) was ruined – went back home and cried and raged like for an hour (went later again, cause I really needed stuff and I couldn’t leave that thing open, that also feels… not good – had to finish the walking “round”: to the store, store, back home)

One thing I mentioned before: sensory stuff; yeah, not a fan of “loud” noises (it isn’t always the loudness but more the number of noises). Water in my face (nope, hate it, never under the shower and like a sponge or so is horror (like everywhere on my body), just clean water is okay (but please, I can’t have had soap like right before on my hands)), lights is a day to day thing (though if I’m tired / close to what I think is sensory overload, either the room I’m in gets like darker or lights up so much it’s not tolerable anymore (then I know, I really, really have to leave the room and not see or hear anybody anything anymore)), and food, yeah (everything has its place on my plate and please don’t touch), I’m a really “picky” eater and I absolutely despise like cooked or baked fruits (some vegetables too) (they feel soo weird in my mouth… and taste bad… but the texture alone is… really, really bad) (if I wait a bit more, I could think of more but you get the gist I think)

One thing that throws me off: Since I’m 14 years old, I do some stuff with youth groups like mostly work in the church as a volunteer (like in the (school)holidays going a vacation with a group and such things) – I needed like three years (I was and still am seen as shy, mostly) to really “lead” a group (I really am good at imitating the others that can lead a group, I think) and now after I finished school and am doing a “Freiwilliges Soziales Jahr (FSJ)” (voluntary social year) (basically I “work” for a year in a social job (sorry, no idea how to explain it in English) and get not much money (that’s the volunteering-part, but ‘cause I work full-time (38.5 hours a week on paper), I get a bit of money)) – and now I applied for studying for working in a social job – can’t really explain it but important is that I would/will have to work with people and stuff, like my job is to create/plan activities for people (like for example, a meeting every week for old people, free-time activities for teenagers or so). On one level I somehow like that working with people (as long as I know what I do, I had time to plan and everything happens more or less as I imagined/planned), on another level I absolutely… well not hate it… but it is really taxing for me and sometimes I really question myself but then other people say, do it, you’re good at it – and I’m like: yeah? I sometimes feel terrible and have no idea what’s going but okay, good that you don’t see that?! Am I not totally awkward and what? Still, have no clue what I would do instead of that lol (sorry, explained that whole thing real bad; just ask, if something is unclear)

So, two options: either I fake everything I wrote before that last thing and how would that work? Or I’m really good at faking that last thing and how? I have no idea and yeah, I had to write that – can both work? Like, it’s not like that I’m always (really) comfortable doing that social stuff but on the other hand, a bit adrenaline and anxiety makes the life more fun or something like that (and it’s not like, yeay, one time a certain situation managed and the next time I can navigate that somewhat same situation, nope, it’s like nothing ever happened before and that’s… annoying?)

Sorry again to bother you. Thanks for reading

21.08.2020

PS. I will probably think of something new every few hours but that’s enough for now I think lol – sorry

PPS. And sorry for my bad English and explaining… language is hard (not like I could write it better in my native language lol)

_______________________________________________________________

First, I will never, ever, ever judge someone based on how good their English is, whether English is their first language or not. People communicate the best they can, and that’s all that counts, and it does not matter if it’s “perfect”.

So I can’t address every detail you brought up, because this was a LOT! I did read all of it though, and the general impression I get is that you’re right, you probably have ADHD, and possibly autism as well, though I am not a doctor and I can’t diagnose you.

You asked a few times if you could be “faking” it, and the answer to that I can say for certain: No, you are not faking. What you told me here are your life experiences. I just read a story of “How life is like” for you, and it was not fiction, this is your real perspective about how your brain sees the world. This is not fake. This is who you are, and I felt what you wrote was very open and honest, the exact opposite of fake.

Sorry, it’s a messy, long thing but I need a bit of an advice or so – just, like “yeah, could be possible” or “nope.”

Based on your experiences that you shared, I’d say it’s more than likely you have ADHD. You talk often about trying to complete a task and losing your focus before it’s finished:

Anyway if my parents hadn’t provided dinner, I wouldn’t have eaten more than breakfast today – anyways sometime I want ice cream or other stuff and I just… can’t do it like I’m sitting here for an hour now, I’m so freaking bored and I just want ice cream but do I move? Nope, and doing something to not feel bored? Nope. I also mean to get my thingy for my wrist ‘cause I have some problems and typing hurts but lol, nope. An example as kid would be I needed hours to dry myself after a shower and just sit on the floor in my room doing more or less nothing or playing (I now a have strategy but yeah)

This is all very suggestive of ADHD. You also had some symptoms that could be autism, but it seems like the ADHD is more prominent for you and is affecting you more (keep in mind, I’m only a stranger on the internet, I could be totally wrong).

I’m really happy that you were able to share these thoughts with your grandmother, and that she was open to listening to you about them, even if she didn’t have all the facts.

I know you said it would be a long wait, and very difficult, to get an appointment with a professional. But I do really think you should be tested for ADHD. Maybe your grandmother can help you talk to your mum about it, or maybe your grandmother can make all those phone calls for you (because believe me, I know how difficult it is to make phone calls, they are just as hard for me). Even if you have to wait a year, it would be worth it to know- and also, because in the case of ADHD, there is medication which can help you. So it would be really worth it for you to get that, even if you have to wait a long time.

You’re obviously a very detail-oriented, thoughtful person, and I know that you’ve studied this subject inside and out. You’re not faking, you’re not making it up. These are your experiences, and they are the truth, and you deserve to be tested if you want to be.

#actually autistic #actuallyautistic #ADHD #submission

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khangowrites · 3 years ago

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A Stimming List I Had Fun Doing

Here’s 25 stim questions if you’d like to do this yourself!

(From Ashton Daniel’s list on this video (go check it out!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHlos9VtM0o)

Why do you stim?

To calm myself, and to concentrate.

When did you realize what stimming is/why you do it?

I learned the term about a year ago, but I recognized it as the stuff I did as a kid that I then hid as I grew up. I now try to let myself do it more often.

Have you ever made a stim toy? What’s your favorite to make?

Not exactly. I like certain colors and fuzzy things and I make rugs and paint with the colors. Like a visual/texture thing.

What’s your go to stim for...

Being happy and/or excited?

Hands shake, fists closed usually cause I get embarrassed. Sometimes I bounce around, rock on my heels. Rolling my fists after one another really fast.

Anxiety or stress?

Big Leg bounce, Rocking. Shaking hands out.

Upset?

Claw hands, big sweeping motions with my arms.

Overwhelmed?

Same as anxiety. Sometimes I just don’t move at all.

Sensory-seeking?

Hand circles, wrist popping. Also flicking fingertips. I shrug and wiggle my shoulders a lot.

Any other strong emotions/feelings that make you stim?

Deep thought makes me put my hands to my mouth, applying pressure to my lower half of my face. Also with fuzzy things.

When I’m reading or attempting to focus intensely I subconsciously tap my fingers in patterns on the book surface or whatever is in front of me that makes sound.

When I listen to music by myself, I like to do an infinity symbol with my head as I listen, also stim dance with my hands and arms.

What’s your favourite texture?

Really soft smooth things- like squishymallow stuffed animals. And water.

Do you stim with your mouth at all? Do you have a chew toy or do you use something else?

I bite the insides of my cheeks constantly, but I haven’t got quite used to using a chew stim toy in public yet. I also put pressure on my face almost constantly. It is calming.

Do you use a weighted blanket, vest, plush, etc?

I have a small space themed lap blanket. I like it a lot.

What’s your favourite stim toy you have?

My favorite color Tangle. I take it everywhere.

Is there something on your stim toy wish list?

There’s a surfboard chewlery necklace I’d like to take with me on my upcoming trip.

Do you remember the first stim toy you had/have?

My tangle.

What’s your favourite body stim?

Stim dance! Probably why I enjoy conducting. Too bad no one sees me stim dancing.

Favourite visual stim?

Leaves on treetops, sky, water ripples, favorite colors. I could stare at them for hours.

Do you have pets you like stimming with? (Petting them, cat’s purrs, etc)

Not really. Maybe if my cat liked to be pet more.

Do you have echolalia and do you use it to stim at all?

YEA I quote things and make sounds all the time! Currently, the phrase “the reason I’m in here, is cause of that fake hedgehog!” from SA2. It’s on loop.

Do you watch stimmy videos and if so what’re your favorites?

Nah, not unless someone is uploading water stuff, but I don’t see that. I guess music might count. It needs to be a highly specific kind of visual stim for me to like it.

What’s something not made to be a stim toy, but you use it for stimming?

My mechanical keyboard lmao

Phone case

Game Controllers

Favourite simple stim toy, like rocks or buttons or fabric?

Metallic buttons or clasps, rough surfaces. Rugs.

Is there an everyday action you find stimmy, like skipping or brushing your hair?

Showers are simultaneously great and horrible sensory wise. I love the feeling of the water but hate everything else.

Are you more of a sensory seeker or avoider?

I’m not sure. I’m anxious a lot of the time, so I think most of my stims are focused on calming me rather then energizing.

What’s your go-to stim you do without thinking about?

Hands putting pressure on the lower half of my face, tapping fingers, wrist popping.

#stimming #sensory processing #actuallyautistic #neurodiversity #this was really fun to make lol

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playfultemperature · 3 years ago

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Self Directed Project - 44 Reflective Essay

[Reflective essay]

I cannot believe the two years of MFA study is finished. I would say I had the worst studying time in my life during the final semester due to COVID19 lockdown which no one has not expected at all. However, nevertheless the hard time, I think I finished my final semester safely within the best condition I can do in the current situation and environment.

My background is in graphic Visual Communication Design, with a particular focus on drawing characters. One of the reasons for starting Glass MFA was that I didn't want the form of my work to be confined to paper or screen monitors and I wanted to make 'physical' artwork by hand with glass which is a unique artistic medium I have interested in for a long time. Hence, during my MFA study, I took an interdisciplinary approach to develop my artistic work by combining two different disciplines of Graphic Illustration and Glass. Through this approach, I was able to develop my art from a creative, hybrid perspective which is different from traditional studio glass artists. In particular, I would say my final work ‘Happiness Diary’ was made by taking all my strengths in the two different art fields.

I have explored playfulness within my creative practice by taking a kitschy approach in developing my glass artworks, and I am inspired by *Kidult toy culture and adultescent behaviour which I use to inform my work. ‘Happiness Diary' is one of the series of artwork belongs to my playfulness and Kidult theme, which ultimately focuses on the idea of 'seeking and valuing happiness. As a person/artist who is a Kidult, I would say I enjoyed the time exploring and creating for my work relating to the culture I am very much interested in, but it was not always fun. Since I decided to make 20 pieces of the glass dolls for making better ‘collectable art’ impact, my wrists and fingers were getting worse because of a lot of working time for sandblasting and engraving (The machines are heavy and not really suitable to use for a long time). However, this was nothing to compare to the university lockdown because of the Coronavirus.

Desk-based students can work anywhere as long as they have a computer and maybe the Internet, but making glass is based on studio practice. Without using studio facilities, it is impossible to work at all. How can we make glass ‘REMOTELY’? I could understand in my head that no one can control the natural disaster, but it was hard to perfectly accept. Eventually, I applied AIS and went back to South Korea due to Carpal tunnel syndrome and schools' lockdown. A year has passed fast, and I came back to Edinburgh after having 10 days of quarantine in London to return to school after AIS in May 2021. When I returned to school, it was possible to access the glass studio, but there was a time limit to use. In addition, not being able to use a desk was extremely inconvenient. I frequently used the floor as a desk to work. My wrists and fingers, which had cured a little while I was resting, quickly deteriorated again because I had to do a lot of non-stop work during my limited studio time by the current school's system. I was so frustrated because I was seriously worried that I would lose my hand forever. However, due to the non-stop work, my engraving skill was able to be developed a lot in a short period of time.

I could keep writing about how much I struggled during my final year, but what I can say for sure is that I was very glad when I returned to school for studying. I felt finally I was in the right place. In addition, I feel huge satisfaction and a sense of achievement about my work ‘Happiness Diary’, which I made within a current difficult environment. I was delighted when I saw the viewers enjoyed it during the degree show.

Every time when I say I am studying Glass, people ask me, ‘Why glass?’. In my favourite British film/musical, 'Billy Elliot (2000)', the main hero, Billy is asked this question when he is auditioning: "What does it feel like when you're dancing?". Then Billy answers, "Don't know. Sorta feels good. Sorta stiff and that, but once I get going... then I like, forget everything. (...) And I've got this fire in my body. I'm just there.". Like Billy, I would say "I do not know. I just like Glass so much.”. Thus, I do not stop my glass journey with MFA study. Gratefully, I have got a PhD offer and it will start this September. During my PhD, I would like to do a practice-based studio investigation into the creative application of ‘Kidult’ culture within contemporary glass art. It will be researched as an expression of self-ethnography which is focused on the social and cultural aspects of Kidult toy collecting as a form of adult play. I hope I can fill an academic gap in knowledge by examining, exploring, and extending a field that combines Art Glass and Kidult culture.

Referece:

Billy Elliot (2000) Directed by Daldry. S. [Feature film]. New York, NYC: Universal Pictures (through United International Pictures)

* Kidult toy culture: Kidult is a blended word of Kid and Adult and it refers to adults who want to keep their childhood innocence. Chevel (2015) the journalist of the Huffington Post mentions that “they are yearning for comfort in products and sensory experiences that remind them of a happier and more innocent time, their childhood”

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askemilydeanyo · 6 years ago

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Hello, yes. We had a threesome.

Before I start, I’d like to say that for the bulk majority of my life, I have identified as a relatively jealous person. Not jealous in a comparative way, but in a “tell me everything about your past, in detail, and then comfort me when I get upset about it because I will get upset” kind of way. That being said, when my urge to have a threesome crept up, I was honestly taken off guard. Imagining my partner with other people in the past used to make me queasy, but suddenly thinking of them with someone else was making me seriously horny. What the fuck was going on? I’ll paint the scene for you:

I was on the front porch eating strawberries, reading my final pages of Karley Sciortino’s Slutever, when it first came over me. In a lascivious daze, I looked up to my partner, then cutting the grass, and said: “Do you want to have a threesome?” to which they plainly responded, “Yeah, sure.” So like any self-proclaimed horny millennial sex aficionado, I immediately took to Instagram. (Obviously, I realize that not everybody can hop on their social media account and solicit for a sex partner, but I have a majority of family blocked and let’s be real they are all pretty aware of my sluttiness, so it seemed plausible to me.)

My request, posted in typewriter font over a photo of my leather flogger, simply stated: “Seeking a third for play *devil emoji*.” And voilà, just like that, she was baited. I will say, I got about 9 responses in total, but none of the others quite fit the description. We didn’t want anyone we knew too close, anyone we didn’t know at all, or anyone younger than me. I suppose this is my first tip, being that it might take a while for you and your partner to find someone that you are both attracted to, and it is both okay and encouraged to allow yourselves to be choosey (like, sure it only took us about 3 hours, but I’d say we are an anomaly to the rule.) I know a lot of people take to bars, or get on Tinder, or hire a sex worker, and I think those are excellent options for certain kinds of people, but we didn’t want to just pick from a sea of faces, we wanted to have some sort of connection to our third.

So, when she slid into my DM’s, we were stoked. We both knew her, but very, very vaguely. She and I had met a handful of times in social settings, but never engaged in anything beyond surface level conversation. However, like many of these types of interactions in my life, we had, at some point, talked about sex. I speak very candidly about sexuality – and my online presence is certainly no exception. I run weekly sex polls, I post pre-smut photos of me in full rubber lingerie, and I have an advice column where I answer questions about sex and relationship issues. So the chances that I have given someone sex-related advice online, while only having a conversation about their dog in person is surprisingly high.

Since we had some back-and-forth in the past, she approached it by saying: “If it’s not out of line, maybe I can reach out to you two about joining in the fun? I’ve always thought you’d be fun and comfortable to be around.” Finally! My outward slut-ass-ness had paid off! I was sold on her. I took the idea to my partner and they immediately agreed. As I said, the entire process of deciding we wanted to have a threesome and finding our third took, quite literally, 3 hours, but I’d imagine it is comparable to when you go to adopt a puppy, and think “omg! This is the one!” – it just felt right, you know? We knew that she was hot, and she was kind, and wasn’t a sociopath looking to come in and wreck our relationship, so it genuinely seemed safe.

It became a massive topic of conversation. We began vocalizing our fantasies out loud while we had sex (“You want to see me eat a pussy?” and yes LORD I did), we discussed our expectations and boundaries in depth, and on at least a dozen occasions I said “oh my GOD are we actually doing this?” jumping around like an idiot while doing the dishes. The thought was so exciting. We are both sexually adventurous people, both naturally hedonistic, seemingly born with a desire to please, so adding a third into the mix felt more like an extension of us. Just something and someone fun to do. We ended up running into her that weekend and fucked like literal maniacs afterwards. It was amazing.

The timeline of deciding on the rendezvous and actually putting it into action took a whopping 10 days. The closer the event came, the more and more I became the most annoying version of myself. “Oh my god, she’s coming in 3 days. Oh my god, she’s coming tomorrow. OH MY GOD SHE’S COMING IN 4 HOURS.” When the time finally came, I prepped my body as if I was going to senior prom all over again (except honestly significantly more.) I waxed my bikini line, did a facial, did a hair mask, shaved my legs, exfoliated my entire body, rummaged my closet, took 10 minutes on my eyebrows. We swept the house, washed the sheets, shined all the latex, and boiled all the sex toys. The energy was fun and frantic and flirty.

Within the comfort of your monogamous relationship, it’s normal to begin to care less about these things, which is not to be taken as a diss. When you see someone essentially every day of your life, you care a lot less about deep conditioning your hair and more about paying your rent on time. Knowing that someone was going to experience our home, our bodies, and our relationship dynamic for the first time took us back to those butterfly-in-tummy vibes – when you actually made an effort to match your socks and tend to your ingrown hairs. It was so sweet knowing my partner was taking the time to landscape their pubes and make sure they looked good in their outfit. I felt like I was going on our first date all over again, which was a really welcoming and unexpected phenomenon.

I’ll fast forward and spare you the visual of me crouched over cleaning the toilet in leather pants (just kidding, there was the visual): She arrived. My partner and I were sitting in separate rooms when I saw her car pull up. As one might imagine, I literally screamed. The following is a rough description of what happened: She came in, we gave her the house tour, we chatted over a glass of champagne (that I admittedly took no more than three sips of because I had taken two power shots when I saw her car pull up) (that and my partner refuses to fuck drunk people which is one of the hundred things I love about them.) And then… we showed her ‘The Drawer.’

Okay, look. My partner and I are sex freaks. If you know either of us in person, I can guarantee that our sex drawer is exactly what you are visualizing. It is filled with latex and leather, and sensory deprivation accessories, and cock lassos, and butt plugs, and dildos and vibrators and weird medical equipment that even freaks us out at times. This was the moment of truth. When you open your sex drawer to someone, you are essentially showing them your lifespan porn history, your darkest fantasies, your bank statement and your daddy issues all at once. It is vulnerable and spooky and oddly exciting. Anyways, she was into it.

After some chatting in the bedroom, we were all clearly getting antsy, so I decided to take initiative. I asked our third to strip to her comfort level. I asked my partner to blindfold her. I took myself in the bathroom, got into a latex get up, and had a full blown Issa Rae style pep talk with myself in the mirror. When I emerged into the bedroom I found our third blindfolded and stripped to her panties, while my partner was rubbing her legs. My first thought was “Oh my god, am I gay?” I was so turned on. The roles of my partner and myself became immediately clear. Here they were, prioritizing comfort and consent, not wanting to overstep any boundaries (especially while I wasn’t in the room), and I come in wearing full domme gear, leather riding crop in hand, alarmingly ready to turn some asses red. My partner is truly the yin to my yang.

I won’t go into too much detail, partially because I blacked a lot of it out (adrenaline, not vodka, I promise) but also because this is meant to be less smut and more narrative; so let’s just say I was in a deviant bitches version of heaven. As someone who identifies as a 96% heterosexual woman, I was honestly anxious about having a vulva in my face. Believe me when I say I am a huge preacher of “vagina’s are snowflakes,” but admittedly, I’m picky (don’t come for me I am literally just straight.) I was so relieved that when our third was naked before us, I was in absolute awe. My dreamboat of a partner, a beautiful naked person, and a nightstand covered with sex toys; I could’ve died right then and been totally cool with it (except our third did not sign up for Necrophilia 101 and let’s be honest I knew immediately that I wanted to do it again.)

The one thing that put me the most at ease was our ability to prioritize comfort. This has to take form in various ways. Being comfortable enough to assert what you want: harder, deeper, lower, just spread my butt cheeks more, being comfortable enough to fumble (i.e. having to literally remove our third’s fingers from my body after dropping the magic wand on the floor and watching it vibrate its way across the room,) being comfortable enough to show someone a drawer filled with electric stimulation pads and urethral sounds (unused, before anyone freaks out), being comfortable enough to ask someone to swap gloves so you don’t exchange bacteria. It is seriously vital. In porn, we often see someone take their dick out of one vagina and put it in the other, and in reality that just isn’t safe. That being said, when our third hopped out of bed and put on gloves without being instructed, I felt like a proud mom (except like horny step mom that fucks the girl next door), because not only was she prioritizing our safety, but she was also simultaneously not judging us for wearing medical exam gloves while we fucked. Truly a win-win.

In summary, we all came, we cleaned up, and we sat on the bed after and recapped straight slumber party style. A visual: All of us are wearing crop tops and undies, drinking Moscato from the bottle, a murder scene of sex accessories littering the floor beside us. During this time, I was paying close attention to my emotions. I had been a third to a couple once in the past, and the girl told me that immediately after the horny feelings subsided, she cried a lot. I was waiting for this feeling to sweep over me, but instead, my thoughts were more “oh my god, I can’t believe I forgot to fuck her with the strap on.” It was all really, really pleasant.

After she left, my partner and I had sex once again, and for the next few days we brought it up at least once every hour or so. In the middle of an art fair: “Remember when you first walked into the room and grabbed her? That was my favorite part.” in the middle of eating pancakes: “Do you think she came good?” in the last few seconds of a Warriors vs. Clippers game: “My finger literally went into her ass on accident.” It was like a Facebook memory popping up to remind you that you are a sex goddess, rather than an unfortunate seventh grader with side swoop bangs.

In addition to these micro bursts of horny memories zapping me throughout the day, I also found myself feeling tremendously liberated all around. Suddenly, I felt like that bitch. I felt more sure of myself and my relationship than ever before. I felt proud of my ability to casually share my wonderful partner with someone else. I also experienced some unexpected but cutesy and innocent feelings of having a crush, like, omg I wonder if she’s told her friends, I wonder if she liked us, I wonder if she’ll want to come back. I still feel all of that.

Some people might read this thinking: Emily, was this really worth a 4000 word essay? It’s a threesome, chill, people do this all the time; while others might think: Hell no, I would never let my partner fuck someone else! Both to which I respond: I get it. A ton of people take comfort in routine, and monogamy, and would never think of sharing their partner’s bodies with someone else. Other people are more laissez faire, and are totally cool with the thought. I guess I fall somewhere in the in-between. The reason I am writing this is solely to inform others of one thing above all else, and that is: When you allow someone else to be with your partners body, it is solely that: their body. You must be able to compartmentalize your sexuality. The sex you have with your partner right after a fight, or at 7a.m. half hard and half asleep, or after a romantic anniversary dinner can never be replaced by a 10p.m Friday night Ménage à trois, nor is it meant to. You are not lending out your partner’s heart, you are lending out their oral sex game because you yourself find it to be phenomenal and you want someone else to experience it.

Your third doesn’t get to know the exact 45 degree angle at which your partner likes their penis stroked, or the exact string of words that’ll make you cum in seconds, or how you like your scalp rubbed before you fall asleep. They are there for newness, for fun, and for straight up sexual gratification. Their roll is essentially to cum and leave (after sitting cross legged blushing over the fact that you both have outie vulvas, and also, like maybe not leaving forever because you might want them to come back in the future!) not to rock your partner’s world and leave them looking at you like an old pair of beat up sneakers or whatever. If you are worried about your third outshining you, or your partner developing feelings, or your primary and secondary running off and having some kind of love affair, then a threesome just is not for you. Having a fear of infidelity as a result is a pretty clear indicator that something deeper is going on, and why subject yourself to unnecessary anxiety if you don’t have to? (PSA: You don’t have to.)

A threesome will not fix your relationship if it is on the rocks. It will not mend your trust issues. It will (likely) not cure your diminished libido. It will not grant you any otherwise unreciprocated respect in your relationship. You get no brownie points. A threesome is literally a novel concept. It is to witness your partner in action outside of your standard point of view. It is to learn new things that turn you on and turn you off. It is to remind yourself that you can be in a long term, serious, primarily monogamous relationship and still be able to experience the joy of other people’s bodies in a safe and controlled environment. It is to fuck, and to get fucked. To cum, and to make cum. It is to let someone eat you out that doesn’t eat you out every day.

If you came here for my recipe for a successful threesome, here is what I can suggest: (Please keep in mind that I am a literal amateur, but I do feel confident in my knowledge, so here you go:) First, plan accordingly. Plan around your menstrual cycle, around your work schedule, when you can get a baby sitter, etc. Then communicate! The communication is pivotal before, during, and after, but it is especially important beforehand as this can make or break your situation. Discuss your boundaries: What are your hard limits? What would you like to try? What are some things you know you like, know you don’t like? Which toys strike your fancy? What are some names you like to be called? What are your pronouns? What terminology do you prefer us reference your genitals with? Which parts of your body are off limits? When was the last time you were tested? Are you wanting to keep this between us three, or can I write a 4,000 word blog post about it? I could go on and on.

Other important things to discuss are rules and expectations (which fall under the umbrella of communication.) Some of my rules were that I didn’t want them being in contact without me knowing, so no exchanging of phone numbers or socials, and we also unanimously decided that there would be no penis in vagina intercourse. Some other rules to consider might be: Areas of the body that can and cannot be touched (anyone say asshole? Cause I sure didn’t), if the third can stay the night, certain sentimental pet names to avoid, etc. Some expectations that I outlined were basically just that everyone do what I say. Surprisingly, this was less of me being ‘the dick manager’ and more of me being more dominant in nature. Luckily, my partner and my third are (or at least were) more sub leaning, so they happily obliged. Other expectations were that everyone felt comfortable to speak freely, to take breaks, to vocalize their needs, and to stop if they needed to stop. Also I wanted to know a general idea of what I was expected to wear and what kind of energy I was expected to bring to the table.

Another massive thing to consider is safety. Do you have any transmittable diseases or infections? Are you feeling sick? Are you allergic to any materials? Are you willing to sanitize toys, change condoms, use gloves, use barriers, and wipe down the hitachi head when switching partners? If not, seriously don’t even consider. It is selfish, and potentially transmitting infections, getting someone sick, or GOD forbid pregnant is seriously not worth the extra set of hands. Clearly talk about safety, make it accessible (condoms and toy cleaner by the bed) and don’t let yourself get too drunk to forget about it.

Something that proved to be really important to us was someone who would honestly just accept us for the freaks that we are. Lack of judgement is important in any activity where you are putting yourself on display, but especially in a sexual situation. Imagine if you came to someone with your deepest desires and they crinkled their nose in disgust? It is honestly world shattering. So, plan your threesome with someone who you know is open minded. In my case, I am lucky that I am pretty outwardly filthy online, so our third likely had some type of idea, but in the case of anyone else, use your best judgement, and have some conversations around the topic. Be clear about your wants and your needs. You want to be able to proudly ask for someone to shove a dildo in your ass, not be hesitant and afraid. Both your orgasm and your dignity are on the line here.

Another thing I would like to highlight is that although the role of the third (in our case at least) is to essentially serve as a human sex toy, they are exactly that: a human. It is crucial that you are checking in, making sure they feel catered to, and safe, and comfortable. I’d like to think this is too obvious to state, but in the event that it’s not, I will say it: Everyone’s comfort and pleasure should be a priority. Only in some fucked up alternate universe does inviting someone new into the bedroom mean you start prioritizing one person’s body over the other. Everyone is equal and worthy of respect, and just because someone might get off on being called a slut in the bed, doesn’t mean they want to continue to feel like a slut once they leave your house. Be mindful. A good third understands that that their role is temporary and doesn’t need to be reminded through negligence of their basic human emotions.

My last point to touch on is how to bring up the subject to your partner, which will likely vary from relationship to relationship. My partner and I are very laid back. Our approach to sexuality is much less focused around ‘the art of seduction’ and much more on direct pleasure and connection. Like, instead of lighting candles to ‘set a mood’ we are lighting candles to pour the wax on each other… because it feels good… you know? So in my case, it was as simple as asking directly because we are always direct with requests. Other people might need more tenderness. You might consider saying: “While I am totally satisfied with our sex life, I was wondering if you would ever be interested in introducing another person into the mix? I think it would be a fun way for both of us to explore, together, and safely, as we would be in view of one another.” Clearly state your expectations, your desires, and your intentions. And if your partner declines, respect their decision. Nothing should be forced on anyone, and asserting time and time again that you want to fuck someone else will likely leave your partner feeling like they aren’t good enough. Then you don’t get your threesome and your partner feels like shit. Was it really worth asking that fourth time?

Returning to my first question (me questioning my overall sanity) – before, during, and after the fact, I realized what was going on inside of me was that I was finally dating someone that I trusted entirely. The reason that I was able to walk into a room to find my partner sitting in bed with a beautiful naked person and not literally vomit is because they weren’t doing anything to me, they were doing something with me. If you are proposing a threesome to keep your partner’s interest, or to prove something shallow to yourself, spare yourself the energy. I have said it before and I will say it again: Expanding outside of monogamy should always be from an abundance rather than a lack thereof. You should not be thinking “My girlfriend doesn’t let me fuck her in the ass, so maybe our third will.” You should be thinking “My partner does this really amazing thing with their tongue, and it would be really hot to see how someone else reacts to it.” (And maybe if you’re lucky your third will gladly take it up the ass?)

So, wrapping up, perhaps you should consider having a threesome if you: Are secure in your relationship, if you find your partner to be too hot to keep to yourself, if you have an abundance of trust and respect for one another, if you are both willing to respect boundaries and safety measures, if you are wanting to explore other bodies while keeping your partner included, or if you are horny hedonists looking for some good spank material. You should not consider having a threesome if you: Feel pressured to, if you think it will mend an otherwise crumbling relationship, if you are feeling insecure, if you have trust issues, if your partner has expressed romantic interest in the third, if either of you have had a relationship with the third in the past (could get messy), if you are not attracted to the third, or if it is a last ditch effort to impress your partner.

Realistically, there are probably hundreds of reasons why introducing someone into your bedroom is or is not a good idea, so please note that I do realize I am only speaking to a small percentage of people. The reality just is that: like a raw vegan diet is not for everybody, like funneling a beer is not for everybody, like adopting a cat, or backpacking through Europe, or learning how to unicycle is not for everybody, having group sex is not for everybody. It is okay to leave certain kinds of activities to certain kinds of people, no matter how intriguing they might seem from a distance.

By no means am I saying that all group sex configurations must be rooted in love. They can be rooted in lust, in adventure, in curiosity – but one thing that is absolutely CRUCIAL is that they are rooted in trust. I trust that you will switch condoms and sterilize shared toys. I trust that you will respect my body and my boundaries and my concerns. I trust that you won’t turn into a pussy crazed lunatic and start trying to have threesomes weekly. I trust my partner with everything from my social security number to my incest fantasies, which means, most importantly, that I trust that they won’t go off and try to fuck anyone without me. If you have any doubt in your mind that you are doing this for reasons outside of solely hedonistic, pure, and/or loving intentions, consider reconsidering.

Now to share some gratitude: Thank you massively to my partner for allowing me to fulfill my sexual destiny, for supporting all my impulsive endeavors, for prioritizing my orgasms, and for never making me feel small (unless I want to feel small, then thank you for catering to that too.) Thank you so much to you, dream third, for making us both feel safe, for coming into our dynamic with an open mind, for feeling comfortable enough to not only share your body with us but also your stories, and your requests, and your positive energy (and for tolerating my demands and recurring slapping.) And thank you to anyone who has read all of this x so so much love.

#scared to tag anything naughty

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cuminpussyblr-blog · 6 years ago

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cyoungstudio · 6 years ago

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CACS102 Assessment 1: Keyword Social Media Page

1. Subjectivity

The Construction of yourself and the processes of which we shape our own personal opinions and feelings. A person is conditioned by being a subject of the process of what makes an individual. This is how we construct cultural subjects and how we experience ourselves this is why one person might Hip Hop music while another person hates it. This idea Subjectivity and self being dynamic and in constant change is influenced by different contextual factors whether that be someone’s socioeconomic status, gender, cultural influences family and geographical location.

Jean Michel Basquiat was a neo expressionist painter in the 1970’s- 80, his work was highly recognised and appreciated during his lifetime. “Irony of a Negro policeman” shows strong reflections of personal human experiences with racism and police brutality during his time as an artist. Basquiat explored his own subjectivity through real world reflections through the eyes of a African American artist during the 1970’s-80’s

2. Essentialism

Ones search for a sense of self and identity is commenced upon the idea that someone or something needs to be found. An individual has a fixed essence of where the individual attempts to construct a coherent identity that is formed upon their underlying values and perceptions. Essentialism is also that the identity and uniqueness of a person or a group is the expression of their inner essence, this would point towards that there is a distinctive fixed essence of femininity, masculinity, and all other social categories.

Contemporary visual artist Patricia “Piccinini creates transgenic menagerie of disturbing, hyperrealistic creatures”. Piccinini’s creations raise questions of about what makes us who we are? and captures how humans are losing their essence with the furtherment of medical technology and genetic modifications. “Curious Affection’’ captures what makes us essentially human as Piccinini conveys a new human like cross species with an orangutan that captures issues on human identity, appearance, what makes us human and most prominently our complex relationship between humanity, nature and technology.

3. Unconscious

The Unconscious is language. As it is where our repressed desires lie theses desires create language that begins to take a new role it establishes relations with other passed elements, developing a complex set of connections with them. The unconscious is not logical and not literal as it has behaviours that the individual is not aware of. Your unconscious mind surfaces through “Dreams, parapraxes and jokes” (Mansfield 200, p.29) while your unconscious language and repressed desires continue to be locked away until unintentional discourse awakes it.

Artist will often try to unlock their unconscious in their artworks, along with awaking the unconscious of the audience as it turns to view the artwork. Salvador Dali's Metamorphosis of Narcissus explores the unconscious mind by creating both a disorienting image as well as a philosophical statement that relates to the unconscious of his mind. “Questioning life and the relationship between disorienting image as well as a philosophical statement that relates to the unconscious mind”.

4. Overdetermination

Overdetermination is the unconscious acts and receptive behaviours of what we do. These acts and behaviours are anything from going to the toilet to biting your nails along with picking up and reading a book and are the “focus and expression of the most plural and deep psychological complexity’’

David Choe is a visual artist that depicts a recurring motif of “Munko” within his street murals and artworks. Choe is reflecting on state of the oceans, the motif of “munko” and its subject matter could be over determining a deeper distraught and a result of unconscious coming forward.

5. Sensory Knowledge

Sensory Knowledge relates to how we perceive our senses that interpret signals of sight, taste, smell, touch and sound along with our understanding to connect pieces of knowledge with emotion. “Sensory knowledge and apprehension, from the observer’s point of view, may be understood as an appearance”.

Mark Rothko’s work “Red on Black” depicts a large scale minimalistic piece, engulfs the senses through a bold yet simple colour pallet into vast interpretations of the artwork this could lead to positive or negative understandings as your senses are overwhelmed with sensory knowledge.

Creative Influence

Creative influence addresses the conceptual framework of the interrelationship between the artist, audience and the world. Artist and the audience are consistently impacted by internal influences and external influences within their environments. Artist used these influences as material in their art making practice along with helping the artist to create original works.

The main forms of creative influence the artist, audience and the world (conceptual framework) can come in countless forms, but within postmodern society appropriation is the most noticeable. Shepard Fairey’s 2008 Obama Barack Obama "Hope" poster been appropriated countless times in recent years. Fairley did not take the original photo of the president he was sued but in doing so Fairey opened the doors for remixes of the poster and other artist to be creatively influenced by the publicity that the poster got along with the fact that it was a poster of the first African American President.

7. Authenticity

Is used to describe how accessible an artist is willing to be, and the connections they form between their artwork and the audience. Authenticity within art requires no skill or even concept it solely relies on how vulnerable the artist is willing to be and how they can communicate this to their audience.

Jean Michel Basquiat “Riding with death” exposes his authentic emotions about this feelings after the death of the mentor Andy Warhol. Basquiat depicts himself as the subject that is “riding with death”. The simplified drawn skeleton representing death, seems to compliment the rider, but in the empty eye sockets of the skull clearly read the threat. “It is possible that this minimalist work was a kind of suicide note Basquiat, who understood that the man riding a death, there is only one way”. Foreshadowing his drug overdose death only a few months later.

8. Creative identity

Creative Identity is a profile we create for ourselves along with what the artist presents to the audience. An artist creative identity should be replicated within their artist practice as this will create a consistent creative identity and aesthetic. A creative identity that an artist tries to portray can always be left up to interpretation as it is up to the audience to figure out and observe the artwork.

Jackson pollock was a highly skilled and influential painter who shaped a strong creative identity that he present to the audience. He “created radical new approach to paint handling” and strengthen his creative identity with bold dripped, flicked, and splattered brush strokes that was in the most unorthodox way . Pollock also used unconventional painting tools such as sticks, trowels, knives to further cement his creative identity.

9. Fractured Identity

Fractured Identity is the idea that our identity is dynamic and not stationary. Barker states “Identity is best understood not as a fixed entity but as an emotionally charged discursive description of ourselves that is subject to change”. meaning that individuals desire to seek their underlying identity and in doing so fracture old identities to create new ones.

Fractured Identities are illustrated throughout Kanye West Music career from Kanye’s early years as a young MC that was confident in his craft living in south side Chicago. Then to the

superstar has been diagnosed with bipolar shortly after his mothers death forming a new style within his music. His new album “I hate being Bi-polar” was more intro perspective as it opened up more about his life with bipolar and the many fractured identity that engulf him. From identity as a African American man that is a Republican Party voter, his identity as a highly influential artist and how he has to portray himself to his kids and the media.

10. Social Identity

Social Identities are formed by expectations from cultural context, people and pressures communities place upon us. Social Identity vastly vary and depend on how we stem our cultural experiences within specific cultural contexts. With Internet culture engulfing people in its norm many people are putting pressure and dedicating time to how people perceive their social identity.

The idea that social Identity is formed by cultural expectations and pressure from communities, people and context and is explored by urban graffiti artist Banksy through his graffiti artwork “no one likes me”. Social media has allowed for underlying pressure for social media attention and “likes” and “followers” to overwhelm people and make them seem as the world revolves around them stating how our social identity these days, revolves around social media and being popular.

References

Artsy.net. (2019). Patricia Piccinini - 53 Artworks, Bio & Shows on Artsy. [online] Available at: https://www.artsy.net/artist/patricia-piccinini [Accessed 28 Mar. 2019].

Barker, C. (2019). UOW Library resource access. [online] Eds-a-ebscohost-com.ezproxy.uow.edu.au. Available at: https://eds-a-ebscohost-com.ezproxy.uow.edu.au/eds/ebookviewer/ebook/bmxlYmtfXzEwOTk0NjFfX0FO0?sid=58586686-19f1-49a8-9958-518d52e67b97@sdc-v-sessmgr06&vid=0&format=EB&lpid=lp_219&rid=0 [Accessed 28 Mar. 2019].

Choe, D. and States, U. (2019). David Choe. [online] Widewalls. Available at: https://www.widewalls.ch/artist/david-choe/ [Accessed 28 Mar. 2019].

Clarke, P. (2019). Inside the mind of Kanye West - BBC Three. [online] BBC Three. Available at: https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/110bb901-1523-44b0-ae86-99049ca7743a [Accessed 28 Mar. 2019].

Debord, B., Debord, B. and profile, V. (2019). Salvador Dali's "Metamorphosis of Narcissus". [online] Maxaguero.blogspot.com. Available at: http://maxaguero.blogspot.com/2013/04/salvador-dalis-metamorphosis-of.html [Accessed 28 Mar. 2019].

En.wikipedia.org. (2019). Barack Obama \. [online] Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barack_Obama_%22Hope%22_poster [Accessed 28 Mar. 2019].

fink, b. (2019). UOW Library. [online] Tr.uow.edu.au. Available at: https://tr.uow.edu.au/uow/file/afc60007-21bc-4a22-bb22-99bd030eece5/1/fink-1995-3-13.pdf [Accessed 28 Mar. 2019].

Göteborgs universitet. (2019). Philosophical Interpretation: Sense-Perception and Sensory "Knowledge" - Representation and Reality, University of Gothenburg, Sweden. [online] Available at: https://representationandreality.gu.se/research/sections/philosophical-interpretation-sense-perception-and-sensory-knowledge [Accessed 28 Mar. 2019].

Gotthardt, A. (2019). Mark Rothko on How to Be an Artist. [online] Artsy.net. Available at: https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-mark-rothko-artist [Accessed 28 Mar. 2019].

https://www.jackson-pollock.org. (2019). Autumn Rhythm (Number 30), 1950 by Jackson Pollock. [online] Available at: https://www.jackson-pollock.org/autumn-rhythm.jsp [Accessed 28 Mar. 2019].

Kent, R. (2019). PATRICIA PICCININI. [online] Patriciapiccinini.net. Available at: https://www.patriciapiccinini.net/writing/21/453/49# [Accessed 28 Mar. 2019].

Mansfield, N. (2019). UOW Library resource access Subjectivity. [online] Ebookcentral.proquest.com. Available at: https://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/uow/detail.action?docID=286495 [Accessed 28 Mar. 2019].

Manson, g. (2019). Creative Identity: An Artist Interview with Art87JR. [online] Medium. Available at: https://medium.com/@riseoverrun/creative-identity-an-artist-interview-with-art87jr-1fc7e0b2dc03 [Accessed 28 Mar. 2019].

Sidelnikov, E. (2019). Riding on death by Jean-Michel Basquiat: History, Analysis & Facts. [online] Arthive. Available at: https://arthive.com/jeanmichelbasquiat/works/390783~Riding_on_death [Accessed 28 Mar. 2019].

Tate. (2019). Authenticity – Art Term | Tate. [online] Available at: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/art-terms/a/authenticity [Accessed 28 Mar. 2019].

DOUGHERTY, B.

English 10.3 Descriptive Writing Banksy – 'Nobody Likes Me'

In-text: (Dougherty, 2019)

Your Bibliography: Dougherty, B. (2019). English 10.3 Descriptive Writing Banksy – 'Nobody Likes Me'. [online] Available at: https://www.academia.edu/9763526/English_10.3_Descriptive_Writing_Banksy_Nobody_Likes_Me [Accessed 28 Mar. 2019].

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rustpuppy · 8 years ago

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all the autistic asks (bonus: serious ones if ur really bored/just cuz)

(A) Do you have any autistic friends? What are your favourite things to do together?

not really :( at least not that i know of

(B) What sense do you most like to stim with (tactile, visual, proprioceptive, etc.)?

tactile or proprioceptive

(C ) What are some of your favourite stims?

dogs on my lap, petting dogs, bouncing my leg, rocking, etc

(D) What was your first special interest? Do you remember anything about it?

probably dogs, i loved reading dog books and pretending to be a dog

(E) Give me four fun facts about your current special interest!

dogs (usually) love us even more than other dogs, dogs can smell diseases in people, dogs communicate with us better than chimps, huskies can change their metabolism (which really freaks out scientists)

(F) Are you a Quiet Autistic or a Loud Autistic?

quiet for the most part

(G) Are you mostly a Sensory Seeker or Sensory Avoider?

avoider!!! except pressure and movement... i seek those out

(H) Are you a Lots Of Clothes Autistic (big jackets, long pants, boots) or a Minimal Clothes Autistic (tank tops, shorts, flip flops)?

lots of clothes except im also a flipflop autistic

(I) What’s the cutest/sweetest thing anyone has ever done to accommodate you?

got/had food specifically for me that they knew i liked

(J) Do you have any pictures that really show that you’re autistic? Not that there’s any wrong or right way to look autistic, but any pictures that you feel show your specific brand of autism!

these are old but i like them... (there’s a lot of pics of me clutching animals^^)

(K) What’s your favourite sensory friendly outfit? Do you have a picture?

just a big t-shirt and sweatpants and maybe a soft coat i stole from my dad

(L) What do you call raptor/kitty/t-rex hands?

i dont really call it anything but i like raptor hands

(M) Did you take on any animal mannerisms as a kid? What animal?

oh yes,, a dog. i wanted my parents to change my name to dog.

(N) What were your go-to foods/samefoods as a kid?

hot dogs, mac&cheese, tunafish&crackers, grilled cheese

(O) What are your go-to foods/samefoods now?

cereal, pb&crackers, scrambled eggs, burgers

(P) What’s the stimmiest song you know?

mm a good one is ‘Good as Hell’ by Lizzo

Serious Questions:

(1) How did you feel directly following your diagnosis (including self dx or whenever you were told about your dx)?

after my self dx i felt fuckin relieved,, like there’s REASONS im this way... after my ‘official’ dx i also felt relieved but also exhausted cuz it took a lot to get there

(2) Do you have any good strategies for doing things like remembering to eat, cleaning a room/house, etc?

ha... no, im def still figuring stuff out

(3) Person first language or identity first language? Why?

identity first. im autistic. it affects all of me. if u cant call me that and still remember that im a person then that’s your problem.

(4) Do you have any “catch-all” social skills that you use when you’re not sure what to do? Like waving, nodding, saying “no thanks” even when it’s the most “correct” thing to do?

uhh nod along and smile ?? and hope it works out

(5) What are your meltdowns like? How do you deal with them?

i usually start raising my voice and crying and ‘lashing out’, the only way i know how to deal with them is to get away from everyone/everything

(6) Have people ever not believed you were autistic? What reason did they give?

i haven’t told a lot of ppl yet but my parents didnt believe me at first, they said “you had friends though”

(7) Do you ever go nonverbal? Can you “force yourself out of it”?

yeah mostly when im really tired or anxious, i can’t “force myself out of it” 😑 trying to can make me dissociate, i have to relax and let the words come back to me in time

(8) Are you an Overly Trusting Autistic or a Distrustful Mistrustful Autistic?

:))) distrustful mistrustful

(9) Are you an Always Eating Autistic or a Never Ever Eats Autistic?

always eating lol i cant trust the signals my body sends me so i snack when i can so i dont feel sick with hunger later

(10) How long can you “pass” for neurotypical? How big of a toll does it take?

apparently 19 years,, but it fucked me up so much.. do not recommend. all those years caught up to me in like senior yr and tried to kill me (still trying to).

(11) Are you LGBT+? Do you think that might be related to being autistic?

yeah, im aroace and agender. im not sure, it might be related to being autistic or having ptsd or it could just be me *shrugs*

#thanks bro 😘#actuallyautistic #color-film-chemicals

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zipgrowth · 6 years ago

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10 Tips to Start Teaching With Minecraft

My students come from a small, rural community and lack a broad understanding of the larger world around them. This inspired me to seek out a game, or online environment, that could provide more expansive experiences for them—a place that would allow them to explore, on their own or with others, and where I could embed history content for them to discover. On Twitter I came across an exploratory discussion of Minecraft’s potential for school use. I dove in and began a journey that ultimately changed my perception of teaching and how I interact with my students.

Minecraft is easy to use and implement in a classroom. It promotes student independence and creativity, but it is also an immensely collaborative tool that I have witnessed being integrated across all grade levels and content areas. Students can apply their understanding in truly unique and often unanticipated ways. Previously, my kids struggled with writing. Today, they are more creative and confident writers. Instead of getting 125 essays written in the exact same style with the same details, I now get unique historical narratives, rich with sensory experiences and observations made with their own eyes.

Minecraft: Education Edition—currently available for Windows 10, macOS and iPad devices—is nearly identical to the version students play on their own at home. The main difference is that the education edition comes with tools for teachers to make classroom implementation easier. If you are contemplating using Minecraft with your students, here are a handful of tips to help you get started.

Minecraft is easy to use and implement in a classroom. It promotes student independence and creativity, but it is also an immensely collaborative tool.

Want to give Minecraft a whirl in your classroom? Try Minecraft: Education Edition for free!

1. Engage kids in conversations.

Ask them what they like about Minecraft. Answers will likely revolve around the collective themes of creativity, collaboration, critical-thinking and communication. I began my journey with lunchtime conversations that helped me form implementation strategies and which ultimately led to the founding of a Minecraft club complete with membership cards. This video does a wonderful job of visually demonstrating the appeal of the game.

Credit: Cubey

2. Explore YouTube video tutorials.

I really didn’t know anything about the game, so I did a keyword search for “Minecraft” and discovered over 140 million videos! Many of these have been created by students like ours honing their skills as content producers. Some helpful examples can be found here and here.

Credit: OMGcraft - Minecraft Tips & Tutorials

3. Identify your “experts” in the field.

Beginning gameplay with an experienced player or two—a student or even your own children—is a great way to learn the basics before attempting to teach with Minecraft. In class, I recommend selecting a few resident experts at the outset and asking them to mentor you and other students. This was a key revelation for me. I was not the expert, and I had to make my peace with that. It was a transformative experience. Students began to lead the lessons and roamed the room helping others. It empowered even my shy students to step forward into a mentor role.

If you prefer to do a bit of preliminary homework on your own, Stampy, the famous Minecraft YouTuber, created a very helpful video for first-time players.

Credit: stampylonghead

I begin the school year with an open discussion about empathy and bullying. At the end of the session, students produce a “Minecraft Bill of Rights” poster that we hang in class as a reminder.

4. Explore a pre-loaded starter world available through the launcher.

Minecraft games are played in “worlds.” You will find any number of students interested in exploring along with you, so open a dialogue and uncover what kinds of worlds they value and what elements stand out. Simply boot up the game and select an available world—it will load automatically. You can also visit the online world library and download as many as you wish. Some of my personal favorites include Arctic Shipwreck, Project Storytelling, and Fantastic Mr. Fox.

Don't feel that you must structure this time around learning objectives. The most useful feedback, along with other benefits, will come from unstructured play and exploration.

5. Don’t succumb to the pressure to create your own lesson at this stage.

There are plenty to investigate here. But before selecting one to try out in your classroom, you need to have a clear objective in mind. Consider joining the online community of Minecraft educators. Doing so will give you access to lesson authors and to the wider group of mentors who are happy answer your questions.

6. Try a short-term lesson with students.

Good lessons are student-centered and require little setup by the teacher, but you should still preview the lesson and “walk” through it as a student. Lessons can be easily differentiated for students and objectives modified to fit individual needs. The Building a Story Setting lesson provides an excellent introduction.

7. Discuss griefing behaviors and how to build positive relationships with Minecraft.

Griefing occurs when one or more students intentionally destroy or steal the work of another. I begin the school year with an open discussion about empathy and bullying. At the end of the session, students produce a “Minecraft Bill of Rights” poster that we hang in class as a reminder.

8. Create your own lesson.

Keep it simple with clear objectives that can be completed over one or two sessions. Students transport themselves into the game and quickly settle in. I discovered that I needed to frontload what I wanted them to achieve each session and monitor progress consistently. Take a look at how Minecraft Mentor Stephen Elford prepared students for success with his Contour Map lesson.

Credit: EduElfie

The ability to reach students across content and grade levels is astonishing.

It’s easy to get off task, so objectives should be attainable and positive outcomes rewarded with feedback. I prefer assessments that promote critical thinking and written reflection over build quality. My first large-scale lesson tasked students with building a Chinese city and populating it with citizens. Based on individual experience level, students assigned themselves to city blocks I had prepared and built out the city. Once completed, they wrote detailed historical narratives about the citizens that lived in “their” buildings.

Credit: John Miller

9. Form a “build team” partnership with students.

You do not need to become an expert in Minecraft, nor do you need to possess advanced building skills. I formed a build team of students that got together at lunch, and they helped me build worlds for future lessons. [Photo] Each student has specialities, and together we have built some amazing worlds. One of my favorites is the Round City of Baghdad.

Credit: John Miller

10. Avoid thinking of this as just building objects.

The ability to reach students across content and grade levels is astonishing. Consider what other educators have accomplished with Minecraft in the classroom.

Minecraft Mentors Simon Baddeley and Ben Spieldenner have partnered up to create a series of literature-rich projects that allow students to explore and interact with characters to experience language functions and themes.

Credit: Cross Pond

Stephen Reid tackles the difficult subject of the refugee crisis in this unit devoted to exploring social and emotional learning, which allows students to experience the world from the perspective of a child refugee.

Credit: Stephen Reid

Benjamin Kelly has created a wonderful lesson focused on empathy education. A series of wildlife conservation challenges have been created for Minecraft: Education Edition users that explore concepts such as poaching and land-use conflicts.

Credit: Minecraft: Education Edition

More Resources for Getting Started

If you are ready to learn about the capabilities of Education Edition, Microsoft has created a helpful introductory course.

Need help with Minecraft related vocabulary? Visit Common Sense Media to familiarize yourself.

Ready to dive deeper? The ultimate resource is the Official Minecraft Wiki.

Looking for help understanding the keyboard controls? This article is an excellent resource.

Read more tips for classroom management and creating a positive classroom culture.

These case studies highlight how other educators are using Minecraft to drive learning.

10 Tips to Start Teaching With Minecraft published first on https://medium.com/@GetNewDLBusiness

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thoughtfullypurplething-blog1 · 6 years ago

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Home Based Business Ideas - Hints And Ideas You Can Use

Are you curious about playing the guitar? There are tutoring of people who love different types of musical instruments. One does are in love with electric guitar then get also want to learn it so that you can act nicely. tutors near me will find various ways to learn this instrument. tutors in my area to find the easiest for your own. Think on what your interests are. If you appreciate working with kids, it is volunteer in an after school program, potentially mentor a kid who needs it. Precisely what people tutor someone in person you know well - finally anything that academic knowledge you have stored away will be convenient for a specific program! If you like to write, you might volunteer compose for a local newspaper, or start a blog. Online maths tutors gets another plus from me because of the convenience it gives you. You can learn their math courses online without getting from under their bedding every morning to will class. All they require is their laptop, a pen and a pad. Are usually educated right in your own comfort zone. This I assume will let you learn a lot somebody who is uncomfortable from a stuffy lecture hall of three 1000s of. If students find a tutor good readers they have pictures of the story they read inside heads. Where a child getting trouble must text notice the child draw what he heard or read typically the story. Kids are unique within learning brands. Some children are visual which means they learn by seeing. Much like the child who does not see pictures in his head but is the right artist. That child is often a visual learner while other medication is more sensory which means they improve by doing. They believe the letters shapes, paint, or use play- doh. I Launched a WAITING Describe. Once I put these first four steps into place, my business skyrocketed! Within a few months, I'd more students than Got hours your market day, to find out had to design a waiting inventory. The waiting list instantly provided credibility, allowed me to be more selective about the families with whom I worked (I developed an application/interview process), and allowed me to boost my discounts. To find what's beneficial to you, seek to make a substantial search online. Don't just rely on the cost; rather take notice of the quality of lessons and support that are provided. But sometimes, the resources and help may not match not to match to actual desires. For this reason, go for professional tutor. He asks again and again could it is, while others urge him to assemble the sand all through. Dry and fine, it too can be seen soon filtering down in between your pebbles. Proofread function. tutors near me is still necessary to proofread your work for common errors to be able to submit it, even month-to-month will be pressed for time. Sure, it are not the your best essay ever because just had 30 minutes to write it. Therefore rewording the work is not important. Correct all spelling and grammar, follow instructions carefully, then submit your essay for the standardized examine.

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alexatwood86 · 7 years ago

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8 Ways Addiction Counselors can Build Trust with Clients

The importance of building trust

As you may have found, when trust and rapport are not established, a client tends to be more guarded and resistant to the counseling process. So, rather than give advice or try to change a client, I believe a counselor’s role is to observe, provide feedback, and give information. As a Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) clinician, I also believe:

1. Clients ultimately make the decision to change – or not. 2. When a client resists counseling, rapport has most likely not been built or has been lost. 3. Clients with addiction issues may be more resistant and less trusting than other clients. 4. It is important to understand the client’s experience – perceptions, support systems, and triggers rather than thinking the counselor must be an ex-addict to effectively counsel a person. The client’s story will be very different than the counselor’s and should be the focus.

Based on these suppositions, I offer several strategies for building rapport with a client experiencing addiction issues and apply those strategies in a hypothetical case.

1. Building Rapport

The foundation of counseling and the first step in building trust begins with a client-centered approach including: (1) genuineness, (2) unconditional positive regard, and (3) empathy. This means being truthful and honest, accepting the client but not the behavior, and having empathy for the client’s situation.

A “feeling of sympathy emerges from the recognition that another person is suffering, in contrast to empathy, in which the other person’s pain or suffering is felt. A person expresses sympathy, but shares empathy.” – Diffen.com

I continue building trust with the client using several basic NLP strategies. For people who have read previous articles, you will recognize the strategies. However, I am providing an additional context for their use. To gain trust, a counselor can:

1. Build rapport with the client. 2. Conduct a thorough assessment to clearly understanding all aspects of the problem.

According to NLP tenets, the basis for rapport is “when people are like each other they like each other.” Strategies for building rapport with a client include: observing eye accessing clues and predicate phrases, as well as matching and mirroring the client’s behavior.

2. Eye Accessing Cues and Predicate Phrases

Accessing cues typically refers to eye movements and indicate the sensory representational system a person uses to acquire information. So, we are talking about how the human mind processes and stores information. The primary representational systems are visual, auditory, and kinesthetic. If a client’s primary representational system is visual, a phrase by the counselor such as “I see what you mean” tends to make the client feel heard. Similarly, if a client’s primary representational system is auditory, a counselor making the statement “I hear what you say” tends to make the client feel understood. Voice tone, breathing patterns, and posture also provide cues.

Visual, auditory, kinesthetic, and auditory words are known as predicate phrases. These phrases offer hints to a person’s preferred representational system. A comment such as “I pictured something different” provides information. When eye accessing and verbal cues are observed and duplicated, a subconscious message is conveyed that we (the client and the counselor) are similar. In addition to replicating a person’s primary representational system, there are other ways to build rapport.

3. Matching and Mirroring

Matching and mirroring are also effective tools in building rapport. Matching is doing exactly what another person does; mirroring is doing the same thing as the other person in reverse. Five ways to match or mirror are as follows:

1. Physical actions – If the client crosses his or her legs, then, the counselor should have legs crossed. 2. Speaking tone, volume, and tempo – If the client speaks softly and quickly; then, the counselor should speak softly and quickly. 3. Breathing – Matching the client’s breathing allows the counselor to create an internal experience of what the client is feeling. 4. Chunk size – If the client discusses specific details or is vague, do the same. 5. Common experience – a shared interest tends to create a feeling of closeness. 4. Assessment Strategies

I use the assessment process to build rapport. My goal is to gain a clear understanding of the client’s perception of the problem at the deepest level by conducting the outcome specifications and logical levels exercises. In addition, I explore the positive intent of the behavior and ask Meta Model questions.

5. Outcome Specification

The process of clarifying goals is referred to as an Outcome Specification in NLP. Knowing exactly what the client wants to achieve helps the counselor identify a purpose-driven course of action. The exercise includes the following nine questions:

1. What do you want? 2. How will you know when you have reached the goal? 3. Where will the goal be relevant and/or irrelevant? 4. What stops you from pursuing the goal wholeheartedly? 5. What personal resources could you use to achieve this goal? 6. What additional resources will you need to achieve the goal? 7. How might the pursuit of the goal affect important people in your life? Is there any risk associated with achieving this goal? 8. What daily actions can you take to achieve your goal? What is the first step? 9. Given everything you have considered to this point, is achieving the goal worth it?

6. Logical Levels

The Logical Levels exercise is a valuable NLP tool for organizing a person’s thinking because it helps the counselor understand what makes the client “tick.” The counselor uses the process to identify difficulties and to help the client understand in a clear and structured manner where he or she is stuck. The highest level is identity and the lowest level is environment; each level builds on the previous levels.

7. Positive Intention

A common NLP belief is that every behavior has a positive intention. Truly understanding and applying this principle can bring about a powerful change in a client’s thinking. For example, the positive intent behind aggressiveness may be protection or the positive intent behind fear may be safety.

8. Meta Model Questions

“John Grinder and Richard Bandler developed the Meta Model by modeling two very successful therapists, Fritz Perls and Virginia Satir, and Perls and Satir, got extraordinary results from their clients by having them be more specific in what they expressed. By using certain types of questions to gather information and gain understanding of the client’s deep structure. Grinder and Bandler observed that in moving from the deep structure to the surface structure, people unconsciously do the following:

Delete – Presenting only some of the information available at the deep structure.

Generalize – Making general statements about what is believed, how others are seen, and one’s values. People tend to ignore possible exceptions or special conditions.

Distort: – Choosing to over-simplify or fantasize about what is possible or what has happened” (http://www.renewal.ca/nlp24.htm).

So, during the assessment process, I ask specific questions.

Hypothetical Case of Man Addicted to Weed

Demetri is a 27-year-old man who made an appointment with me because his wife threatened to take the children and leave unless he does something about his heavy pot smoking. She was very concerned, because he recently lost his job for being stoned at work and because her father, who was a heavy smoker, died of lung cancer. Demetri admits to daily pot smoking. He says he can’t get through his depressing work and his frustrating life without help. He is very clear that he doesn’t want to be meeting and is keeping the appointment only because of his wife’s threat.

Demetri mentioned that he watched his friends smoke, saw himself relaxed after he smoked, and read about medical marijuana being helpful. His predicate phrases led me to consider that his primary representational system was visual; so, I watched his eye movements to see if they supported my assessment – and they did. His eyes looked up to the left and right, which indicated he was visual, but he also looked down and to his left which indicated he was talking to himself in his own voice. So, I asked questions such as, “Do you see yourself as stopping?” and, “Have you read about any side effects of smoking pot?” (eg. becoming dependent on marijuana)

Demetri slouched in his chair, his voice was soft and he spoke slowly; so, I slouched in my chair, and spoke softly and slowly. We both liked to play golf; so, we talked easily. He reluctantly agreed to discuss the reason for the appointment and to participate in the assessment exercises. I confirmed that rapport was established by sitting up in my chair and leaning forward; which he also did. However, I plan to continually monitor our rapport in case something occurs during a session that might upset it.

Demetri’s Responses to the Outcome Specification Exercise

1. He wants his wife and kids to stay. 2. He will know he’s reached his goal when his wife sleeps in their bed, again. 3. His goal is relevant in his life and for his family. 4. Weed is the only way he can manage his depression and frustration and it is a way for him to ‘hang’ with friends. 5. He stopped smoking cigarettes; so, he can quit smoking pot, but he doesn’t want to quit. 6. Additional resources he would need include having a detox plan, learning new coping mechanisms, and finding effective ways to relax. 7. His wife would be very happy, but his smoking friends would miss him. 8. He could smoke less each day, he could seek help, and he could find other ways to relax. His first step was to keep this appointment. 9. He guesses the goal is worth achieving because he really loves his wife and doesn’t want to lose his family, but he remains reluctant.

In response to the Logical Level questions, Demetri provided the following answers:

Demetri’s Responses to the Logical Levels Exercise – the problem behavior is heavy pot smoking

1. Environment –He smokes in his car before going to work in the morning and before he goes home after work. He doesn’t want his wife or the kids to see him and he doesn’t want any paraphernalia or pot in the house. 2. Behavior – He inhales pot from a bong at least twice daily. 3. Capabilities – His friend supplies him with pot at a cheap price. He never smokes in the house, so his kids don’t know. He can stop if he wants to stop. 4. Beliefs – His beliefs included “I’m not hurting anyone,” “My wife should understand the pressure I am under, but she thinks I’m a loser.” “I never cheat on her and I am a good father.” 5. Identity – I am a loving husband and father who smokes weed to manage life.

One option was to intervene at the Environment Level and to suggest Demetri spend less time with his friends or remove the pot and paraphernalia from his car. Instead, I chose to focus on the Belief Level and his words “I am not hurting anyone,” and by intervening at this Level, the other Levels may change as well.

During the assessment processes, I asked Meta model questions. For example:

Demetri said, “My wife should understand the pressure I am under.”

I asked, “Have you talked with her about the pressure?”

Demetri said, “I’m not hurting anyone.”

I asked, “According to who – and the answer cannot be you?”

Demetri said, “I can afford the weed.”

I asked, “How much money do you think you spend on weed per month?” and “When is the last time you took your wife out on a date?”

Demetri said, “She thinks I’m a loser.”

I asked, “How do you know that?”

Finally, I asked Demetri about the Positive Intent of the pot smoking. He surprised both of us by saying that it was to get away from his life which “sucked.” This led us to redo the Outcome Specification exercise to focus on the goal of finding joy in life.

Now we had a place to begin.

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