#I got into this ajghalksfjghdsfa

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

Could I ask for some Wingfeather falls road trip headcanons in these trying times?

Oh no Wingfeather Falls, my weakness

Yes absolutely, okay so, the most important thing about this is that they definitely 100% have a VW bus that they’re taking a roadtrip in. It is an old rickety thing and nobody’s sure where it came from or if it will hold together.

The uncles are the “chaperones”. Nia and Aurendelle are having a spa day or something and it’s portrayed in stark opposition to whatever the roadtrip gang are doing (ie. the bus is careening down a mountain hill while Nia and Aurendelle are sitting in a hot spring somewhere).

No one has a valid drivers license. No, not even Stan. Somehow everyone ends up taking a turn driving the bus at some point. Confusingly, the best driver is Leeli.

Their two options for sleeping are either camping out or staying in weird little motels that keep ending up being haunted by supernatural creatures. They keep falling for the motels and while a few of them are inhabited by actual weird creatures (they meet some of the cousins of the gnomes in Gravity Falls when Janner, Kal and Dipper get captured one by one as the gnomes try and find a suitable groom for their queen. Leeli’s crutch is found to be another weakness of gnomes) most of the motels’ “supernatural” creatures are actually the managers dressed up Scooby Doo style trying to attract tourists with the weird stories surrounding their motels (Stan is both impressed and offended someone came up with this idea before him).

Kalmar eats all the snacks the first day and they’re forced to stop at a gas station to buy more and after that they hide them and ration them out- or try to, somehow Kal and Mabel keep finding them.

They Must continue the tradition of ruining every tourist trap they come across. Kalmar and Fiddleford are delighted by this. Janner is deeply confused. Artham, Sara and Leeli get weirdly into it. Ford is also confused. Ford and Janner stand off to the side watching the others destroy tourist traps holding coffee and looking confused.

(Yeah, someone makes the mistake of giving Janner coffee, he ends up kind of addicted to it, “THIS is what grandpa always drinks in the morning?! It’s amazing! I can keep up with Kalmar now!”)

Fiddleford makes the bus rocket powered, which in turn makes it able to fly. Unfortunately, the brakes only work if you’re on the ground. He does also give it wings.

Mabel and Kalmar sharing earbuds and screaming pop songs while everyone throws things at them to try and make them stop.

Oh yeah, the bus only has three CD’s and one is a pop mix from the 2010’s, one is in Spanish, and the final one is a mix of songs from the 70’s-80’s. Mabel somehow manages to get the pop cd in first thing every morning and blasts One Direction’s “That’s what makes you beautiful” to wake everyone up. Stan, Ford, Janner and Sara keep trying to dispose of the CD but it always comes back. They leave it at gas stations, throw it out the window, run it over on “accident”, and mysteriously it’s always back the next day. They think they finally succeed when they don’t hear it for three consecutive days in a row, and then, suddenly, on the final day of their trip, it’s back. (this is based on a real experience I had ajghakljgdfs)

There is a Plot amongst the kids to use this experience to get Janner and Sara to admit their love to each other, go on a date and kiss. They try and keep it a secret but Janner and Sara aren’t dumb and they catch on pretty quick and play along because they’re amused. Dipper’s sole advice to Janner is “Don’t listen to anything grunkle Stan says about dating and girls.”

They keep going through portals. Ford tells them about each world they end up in and the kids keep making friends with aliens. At one point they lose Artham and Fiddleford though a portal and when they come back they’re decked out in steampunk gadgets and refuse to talk about what happened to them (absolutely nothing happened- they found an intergalactic shop selling steampunk stuff and thought it was cool so they got some, but they’re not going to tell the others that).

Stan keeps trying to haggle with every gas station clerk and motel owner they meet. It doesn’t matter if they’re an alien with six eyes and tentacles he’s going to get a better deal than this. Ford doesn’t know how he inherently understands the currency of every world they visit.

There is this one cop that seems to find them and pull them over wherever they go and they have to keep coming up with excuses as to why they were driving too fast/ran a red light/were weaving on the road. The cop pulls Leeli over because she’s driving TOO WELL for this one specific chaos bus and therefore its suspicious. (He lets her go immediately after she says hi to him because she’s polite. Everyone else is annoyed Leeli didn’t have to make up a story.)

One of the times they do camp out they tell scary stories and Sara’s is the best (“and the room was filled with nothing but FORKS.” *shocked gasps*).

The Wingfeathers are also introduced to marshmallow roasting and smores. Dipper, Janner, Sara and Leeli have the patience to slowly toast a marshmallow. Mabel and Kalmar do not and they simply catch theirs on fire and let it burn.

Fiddleford has to teach everyone about hobo pies and how to make them.

The bus inevitably breaks down and strands them. Stan teaches the kids to hitchhike while Fiddleford, Artham and Ford actually try and fix the bus. Stan and the kids get kidnapped. They show back up two hours later with tattered clothes and smoking hair and the bus is fixed and the others are like “??? What happened to you guys?!”  “Don’t ask."

THEY END UP IN PROVIDENCE RHODE ISLAND. For REASONS. This is not where they were planning to go. This is also the only time they end up staying in a hotel. They order pizza and prank call people all night.

They return home the next day via portal.

I filled two pages with these in the doc I was typing them up in so I should probably stop. xD I hope you enjoyed and these!