#I go to concerts just to scream the lyrics and you better damn believe I did that

[marswasnothere]

I got tinnitus /hj

Bwoah

Anyway holy shiIIIIIIIIIITTTTT THEYRE SO REAL THEY PLSYED STA BIH JA AND BEHIND YOUR EYES AND THEYRE GONNA COME OUT SEPTEMBER OR OCTOBER AND NACES NEW BASS AND JANS HAIR IS SHORTER AND SLEEVELESS BOJAN AND

I am tired and sleep must be had.

[strawberries-and-summer-days]

WE'RE... WHAT?? ‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅

| percy jackson x popstar au

| au masterlist ☽

summary:

warnings: swearing and i think thats just about it!

a/n: part two of the series is out! im procrastinating the shit out of all my other requests so im not ignoring any of you btw!! lets all collectively ignore the fact that gracie like a post that has a lyric from her song (also damn im really just smashing out these fics)

"y/n has officially flitted off to boston!" clarisse announces suddenly from chris's lap.

"huh?" grover's head snaps up. "what do you mean?"

"y/n l/n, she's come to boston for her concerts," clarisse says showing her phone screen.

"you have got to be shitting me," chris says. "this is going to end terribly. seriously? here? boston? percy's gonna shit himself."

"oh really why would you think that?" clarisse drawls. "it's not like they don't like each other, they're like besties!"

"and y'know to make things worse y/n's setlist has been posted for months so we legit could've avoided her," chris sighs.

"yeah well, next time you see percy and he comes home grumbling about a business meeting in boston you deal with it then," grover argues.

"okay all of you shut it, percy's coming inside with luke so shhh," clarisse snaps.

"shh about what?" luke asks settling down on the couch next to grover.

"you'll never believe who's in boston!" grover sing songs. it doesn't take luke very long to work out who and his eyes widen in realisation

"no."

"yes."

"well shit."

"yep."

"we're in for a show."

☾. ⋅

percyjackson

liked by underovergrover, chris.rodriguez, lukecastellan, clarisse.la.rue, the.annabethchase and 1, 402, 385 others

percyjackson hello boston! one non-reschedulable meeting later and here we are...

view all comments

underovergrover i expect full compensation for making those pizzas WHICH YOU TOOK CREDIT FOR

percyjackson YOU DID NOT! I MADE HALF OF THOSE - MINE WERE BETTER

clarisse.la.rue no they weren't

percyjackson 🖕🏼

user1 ugh im in love

user2 omggg he's in boston!! so is y/n l/n!! are they following each other around?

user3 PLS I WOULD DIE MAKE THIS A THING

user4 i wonder if he's going to a concert here?? 😏

user5 does anyone else find it weird how his entire friend group follows him around?? no just me? they're just a huge freak show

user6 booooo we dont like haters here

user7 y/n l/n and percy neeeeed to happen rnnnn

user8 YES YES YES

lukecastellan im so ready to be done with this shit and go home

theannabethchase aww is someone feeling homesick?

lukecastellan yes obviously

user8 i. love. him.

☾. ⋅

"see i told you this would happen!" grover screeches, running away from percy who is threatening to castrate him if he doesn't get his phone back.

"i don't care! just give me the damn thing back!"

percy had groaned for two straight minutes when he found out that y/n was in boston this weekend - he had also face planted onto the couch and used some extremely obscene words.

"if it helps at least you'll be leaving on sunday," chris had offered in the midst of his crisis. it didn't help.

so now when grover trips over a fallen pillow - which may or may not be from percy's tantrum but we don't talk about that - and percy wrenches the phone from him a loud - and might grover add overtly girly - scream.

"WHAT THE FUCK? NO! NO NO NO NO!"

his screen is on the article grover had opened with really poorly photoshopped images of percy and y/n walking together. every gossip site/blog has swarmed the photos and circulated them sending the internet into a spiral.

"im fucking done with this grover," percy groans flopping onto the couch. "its a good thing we're leaving tomorrow - we'll be back in new york thats a huge ass city i wont see y/n there again and i can just go into hibernation, let all the rumours die down and be done with this whole shit show."

if only right....

☾. ⋅

☾. ⋅

yn.official

liked by sabrinacarpenter, lia.mandel, gracieabrams and 932, 841 others

yn.official feel like maybe i might go to boston! you were the best audience and im honoured to have performed for you these past two nights! heading home now to rest and recharge for the final shows in new york

view all comments

lia.mandel yayy you're finally coming home i missed you 🥺

yn.official bitch please its been like a week

lia.mandel and every second of it has been torture

user1 MOTHERRRR

user2 i think i nearly fainted when she came up on stage i was so happy i coulda died right then-

user3 the lyric makes me so happyyy

user4 ikrr y/n is like the queen of lyrics and the way she sneakily adds them into her posts 🤭

user5 WERE YOU WITH PERCY JACKSON THIS WEEKEND?? 🤨 I NEED TO KNOW

user6 y/n and percy are my dream celebrity ship

user7 they'd be the biggest power couple in history

user8 can you hard launch with percy plss?? i dont care if its fake i just need content to feed my delusions!

☾. ⋅

lia's soft snores fill the plane aggravating the hell out of you. usually you'd find the way she curled up in a ball underneath a blanket and snored quietly to be adorable. but since you're tired, just finished performing a concert and there's a problem with the jet, its grating on your nerves.

you had also been scrolling on twitter, instagram and pinterest, curled up underneath a matching blanket urging something to catch your attention while whatever work was being done on the plane happened.

unfortunately for you the thing that did catch your attention was the dozens of very clearly photoshopped pictures of you and percy walking together on a quiet street in boston.

no way in hell thats real. for one; ew and two; percy was only here for the weekend you were here for the week and you would've had no time to go out in between concerts.

eventually you doze off not realising you're in the air until you're ears pop waking you up to lia grinning mischievously.

"what asshole?"

"you're adorable when you wake up, you know that right?"

"yes i know."

"seriously the cutest human on the planet."

"what do you want lia?"

"a gossip podcast has picked up the subject of you and percy jackson. and the host is saying shit about you."

your eyes widen for a moment. "oh my god what? wow its almost as if i don't care!" ypu give lia a blank look. "this happens every three months lia, i do something and people either love it or hate it. thats the way it goes."

"yeah but this is PERCY JACKSON Y/N! he's gorgeousness personified."

"ugh can i go back to sleep? you can fangirl to me tomorrow when im in bed and pretending to listen."

"im offended." she leans over to place a kiss on your head. "but sleep tight babes, we land in like forty minutes."

shutting your eyes again you drift back to sleep.

only when you wake up do you realise you dreamed of percy...

TAGLIST‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅ [if you're name is white it mean i couldn't tag you] @lauptimist, @itzmeme, @mariaaaaaahhhh, @paankhaleyaar, @maybxlle, @lara20aral, @cxp1d, @user-3113s-blog, @pleasingregulus, @avihashearts4lix, @inlovewithmorales, @brokecollegebitch, [if you want to be added just let me know!]

[dleena2023]

NIGHTMARES & DAYDREAMS WORLD TOUR '23

bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

timecheck it's 10.16pm right now and guess what? ATC CONCERT IS TOMORROW. YES YOU HEARD ME RIGHT. AGAINST THE CURRENT IS PERFORMING TOMORROW. AHHHHHHH MAMAMIA WHAT IS THIS I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING FOR REAL. BOUGHT THE TIX IN FEB AND PAK PAK IT'S FINALLY TOMORROW. MAN, TIME FLIES REALLY FAST HUH. OMG I'M SO PUMPED UP & STOKEDDDD MANNNN. I DON'T EVEN THINK I CAN SLEEP PEACEFULLY LATER HAHAHAHAHA. I MEAN... I SLEPT EARLIER IN THE AFTERNOON SOOO ;P OKAYY SO NOW LAGU 'STRANGERS AGAIN' IS PLAYING FROM MY PHONE WHILE I'M TYPING THESE WORDS WOOOOO!!!!! OKAY SO I'LL BE MEETING NADDY TOMORROW AT ORCHARD MRT AROUND 4PM. YASSS I'M GOING WITH NADDY FOR MY 1ST ATC CONCERT. OUR 1ST CONCERT TOGETHERRRR. OMGOMGOMG FINALLY SOMEONE THAT I CAN GO WITH & AM COMFORTABLE. I VIVIDLY REMEMBER MY DPR CONCERT - I ARRIVED AND WAS QUEUING FOR THE VIP LINE. AND OMG I WANTED TO CRY SEY BECAUSE THERE WERE A LOOOOT OF PEOPLE AND I WAS SO AWKWARD AND I DIDN'T KNOW ANYONE. IT MADE ME A BIT UNCOMFORTABLE THAT I STARTED TO TEAR UP AND MY HEART WAS LIKE "CAN WE GO HOME? I WANNA GO HOME." HAHAHAHA. BUT SO FAR ALHAMDULILLAH IT ALL WENT GOOD. ONE OF THE BEST NIGHTS OF MY LIFE SO FAR HEHE. AND I HOPE TOMORROW WOULD BE THE SAME TOO (OR EVEN BETTER, WHO KNOWS? X) ALHAMDULILLAH I MEMORISED ALL OF THE SONGS ALREADY, OKAY MAYBE NOT ALL MAYBE THERE ARE LIKE 2-3 SONGS THAT I'M STILL UNFAMILIAR WITH BUT SO FAR THE MELODY IS EASY TO FOLLOW WITH SO YEAPPP. I SHOULD SAY I'M KIND OF HARDCORE COS I WANTED EVERYTHING TO BE PERFECT. BUT I REMEMBER, NOTHING IS PERFECT. AND NO ONE IS PERFECT. THAT MADE ME REALISE THAT IT'S OKAY TO MAKE MISTAKES COS IT'S BOUND TO HAPPEN. IT ALWAYS IS. LYRICS TERLUPE KE, TERKIAL2 KE TERSALAH KE YANG PENTING, I HAVE FUN, ENJOY THE NIGHT AND LIVE IN THE MOMENT :D OKAYOKAY NOW I CAN'T WAIT FOR TOMORROW ESPECIALLY THE MEET & GREET WAAAAA AND YAS I BOUGHT IT LAST MONTH HEHEHEHE COS I'M LIKE WHY NOT KAN SINCE ARTISTS HAVE THEIR WORLD TOUR LIKE EVERY 4 YEARS SO IT'S REALLY WORTH IT ONCE IN A WHILE. AND I DON'T WANNA BREAK MY HEART BUT I WANNA TALK TO THEM ESPECIALLY CHRISSY ABOUT MY LOVE FOR T1. THIS YEAR MIGHT BE THE LAST FOR THIS ROSTER AND I WANTED TO PUT ALL MY HEART OUT FOR THEM. I WANT TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT T1, KERIA & FAKER!!! WORLD TOUR THIS YEAR = COINCIDES WITH LAST OF ZOFGK. KIND OF FORTITUOUS, NO? :') OKAY NO MORE SADNESS, BACK TO MY MEET & GREET I ALREADY PLANNED TO BRING MY PERSONAL SAJAK WITH ROSE PETALS ADORNING THE FRAME (REPRESENTING THE 5 T1 MEMBERS) HEHE AND YEAAPPP HOPEFULLY I WILL TALK CASUALLY & COMFORTABLY WITH THEMMM. I'M AFRAID I'LL BE DAMN NERVOUS THAT MY MOUTH DOESN'T OPEN LMAO BUT IN SHA ALLAH TAKDE PAPE AYYY. EVERYTHING WILL GO SMOOTHLY IN SHA ALLAH. IT'S ABOUT SOMEONE WHO FEELS LIKE HOME TO YOU AND YOU LOOK FORWARD TO COMING HOME EVERYDAY. BUT NOW YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO DO SO BECAUSE THE HOME IS NO LONGER IN YOUR LIFE ANYMORE </3 IT'S INSPIRED BY MY ALL-TIME FAVOURITE SONG FROM THEM AKA ROSESSSSS. (IF I HAVE THE TIME, I'LL POST IT HERE). AND THE SAJAK IS ALSO INSPIRED BY MY JOURNEY WITH T1 FOR THE LAST 2 & 1/2 YEARS <3 I' GONNA TAKE A LOOOOOT OF PHOTOS & VIDEOS FOR SURE MAYBE BUAT VLOG KE APE HAHAHA OF COURSE IT'S DEFINITELY FOR THE MEMORIES :3 I CAN FORESEE MYSELF BEING HYPED UP, SCREAMING, DANCING AND MAYBE CRYING LMAOO BUT I DON'T WANNA PUT MY EXPECTATIONS TOO HIGH. I'M JUST GONNA HAVE FUN AND ENJOY MY NIGHT WITH NADDY. AND RELATE TO EVERY SONG AND LIVE IN THE MOMENT ^-^ EVERY SONG IS DEFINITELY GONNA BE LIT OMG ESPECIALLY ROSESSSSS AHHHH AND EVERYTHING LAAA. OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT I'M JUST GONNA DO MY BEST FOR TOMORROW AND SERAHKAN EVERYTHING TO ALLAH. I KNOW ALLAH WILL DEFINITELY PERMUDAHKAN FOR ME :) JUST HAVE TAWAKKUL, DO MY BEST, BE HAPPY AND GO JERR!!!! REST WELL AND ALL THE BEST LOVE!!!!! SEE YOU TOMORROW AND I'LL KEEP AN UPDATE ON THIS IN SHA ALLAH WEEEEEEE <3333333333

and thank you so so so much Ya Allah for easing my preparation progress for the concert <3

[yunhoiseyecandy]

✕ 𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞; 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬

✕ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞; 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟

✕ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠; 𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫!𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠 ◆ 𝐟.𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

✕ 𝐰/𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭; 𝟐.𝟗𝐤

✕ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬; 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤, 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐧𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 - 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞, 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠

[𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭] @little-precious-baby , @multidreams-and-desires , @hanatiny , @latte-fairytaekwoon , @cloudyyeonnie

─────

no matter how many times he’s been on stage, adrenaline rushing through his veins, the high of it all never gets old.

and he can’t bear thinking of the day it all ends.

he remembers the first time he ever picked up a guitar, the way the tips of his fingers brushed against the rough cords as he strummed to the beat. it was something that came so natural to him, and he knew at that moment, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he hummed, this was meant to be.

it’s been almost seven years since that day, and his heart still swells whenever he thinks about how he felt. it was amazing, but it’d been hard to try and convince his parents to allow him to play, let alone buy him his own instrument.

hongjoong chuckles at the old memories, and he finds it hard to believe that he was once a fifteen-year-old boy who begged his parents to let him do what he loved, hot, wet tears running down his cheeks as he pleaded on his knees.

he loved his parents, and to see them disagree with something that meant so much to him crushed him. they used to push for him to study harder in school, beg his teachers for extra credit so he could have even a slim chance at passing the class, but that simply wasn’t who he was meant to be.

he used to be a more than acceptable student, but since he started playing in a small band that had been formed by a few friends of him, he couldn’t focus on anything but the music he adored.

music was his drug, and it would be difficult to put him in rehab. eventually, though, his parents had chosen their son over school work and caved in. that christmas they had gotten him his favorite guitar, and he can still feel the smoothness of the mahogany as he ran his fingers over it.

he’d grown greatly since then, but the rush he still gets is the only thing that hasn’t changed since.

this was who he was meant to be, and he knew that nothing else could compare. he was more than proud of himself for choosing this career path, and he knew it’s the only thing he could do best.

that’s why he always put his all into every performance, head moving to the beat while he sang his heart out till it was hard to breath. and tonight was no different, especially since he had one of the biggest record labels in his country out in the crowd, scouting for the next best performer

—

“we’re up in five, man.” san said loud enough so the rest of the group could hear. hongjoong blocked out everyone, his fingers brushing over the strings as he sang the lyrics to their song under his breath over and over again.

they couldn’t afford to screw up this gig, and it was already going to be a challenge since they had one of their group members, seonghwa, out with a cold. he was the main drummer, so they had to call for backup if they wanted any chance of success tonight.

hongjoong twisted the cap off his water bottle and took a sip before groaning, “fuck. if I keep messing up this note we’re gonna be screwed.” he’d always had trouble with that certain line, but it always got to him right before they were up.

san laughed, “yeah, well whose fault is that for not coming to practice on time?” mingi looked over to him before bursting out laughing, but it soon faded when he saw the look on hongjoong’s face. “sorry, but it’s true!”

sure, they’d all been friends for years now, but that didn’t change how annoying san and mingi could be sometimes. seonghwa really needed to get better, or hongjoong would end up losing his mind.

“doesn’t matter,” he tossed his bottle into the recycling bin, “it’s not like I’m just sitting around when I don’t show up.”

“dude, we’re just messing with you. we all know you’re the try hard amongst us three.” this time it was san who lost it at mingi’s words, both the boys heads thrown back onto the couch as they held their stomachs.

“fuck you.” was all hongjoong could say, knowing damn well they would just look at him and continue to giggle like children if he tries to defend himself. he sighed, looking to his wrist watch and then standing up to collect his belongings.

it was now time to perform, and he was more then excited as he walked out onto the stage, his bandmates following right behind him. hongjoong never really knew why he got stage fright, especially considering how many gigs they’ve had in the past.

he’s done this before, but something told him tonight was going to be different. and that eerie feeling didn’t pass on, not even when he went on stage and played like it was his last. his heart felt like it would burst through his chest at any moment, and he loved the way it made him feel.

he could taste the sweat that ran down his face and over his lips as his tongue ran over them, but he had to ignore the saltiness of it and focus on what lyric came next. 

“you say you don’t want me but you always come crawling back,”

“I’m like your drug call me your dealer I’ll give you that,”

“I’m not your baby, don’t make it seem like we’re reserved,”

“you broke my heart and I learned my worth fuckin’ try hard.”

he looked over to mingi after he sang the last word, his hands gripping the white microphone as he smirked. mingi’s hair was damp, and hongjoong assumed he’d taken a water bottle and poured it over his head after his drums solo was over.

it was a signature move that made the crowd go wild, and the red head did it at almost all of their performances. they’d done it since the beginning, as all of their fans seemed to love it.

they watched as the people in front of them threw their hands up in they air as their bodies jumped up and down, and hongjoong smiled fondly as he watched the lightsticks they had around their necks glow. 

this environment, the setting, it made him fill with joy. and maybe it was the red t-shirt you had on that was different from the rest of the crowd that made his eyes meet yours, or it just might’ve been fate, but he couldn’t seem to pull his focus away from you no matter how hard he tried.

that is, until san wrapped his arm around him and bowed towards the hundreds of people they gave their thanks to. “c’mon, it’s time to go now man.”

—

“okay let me get this straight,” your friend mia started, taking a fast swig of her martini. “hongjoong, kim fucking hongjoong, locked eyes with you?” 

you knew you must’ve sounded crazy when you told her, but you saw what you saw. “yeah, I know. sounds stupid, right?” you ran a hand through your hair as you sighed, and you couldn’t believe your own words. 

you’d been waiting months to go to one of their concerts, let alone be close enough to the stage to be able to breath the same air as them. and to have one of the members actually acknowledge you existed had over the moon. 

you can still feel the way heat crept onto your cheeks when he bit his lip, your eyes wide when he winked your way. it felt like the whole world stopped for a moment, surreal, almost. you hated how easily he got to you, too, like he knew just a smirk or a smile would make you a mess.

and it was right. because as soon as you left the venue, your legs feeling like jello as you ran to the restroom, your lace underwear was a mess that only proved how sensitive you could be.

and that only made you wonder if the small exchange you two shared made hongjoong feel the same way. 

but all your thoughts and curiosities stopped when you the hotel door slid open and revealed the man you were just thinking about, his two friends and many people with cameras trailing behind him.

“is it true you have a new solo song coming up in the next week?!” one reporter shouted towards mingi. “are you three planning to split up soon like the rumors have stated?!” san huffed as he pulled his hoodie over his face, pushing hongjoong and the taller boy forward and near some stools at the bar.

they were all relieved when security came out of the elevator and blocked the rest of the paparazzi outside the building, preventing any more unwanted people from coming in.

“I love performing, but trying to go home and sleep can be so fucking tiring.” hongjoong said, running his hand through his messy dark blue hair. san and mingi nodded, and they waved over a bar tender to order a round of beers.

“tell me about it, they just always act like they’re about to attack us or some shit,” mingi huffed, “I’m so exhausted.” it was normal for mingi to get tired and anxious after a long day, but san and hongjoong knew it would be best if he went up and slept as soon as he could.

it had been hard for the younger one ever since he’d needed a break due to anxiety, so they were careful nowadays not to push him to his limit. they cared for each other, and seeing one of their own feeling down was never a good sight. “you should go up to your room, mingi.”

san hummed, agreeing with hongjoong as he took a sip of his beer. “yeah, we’ll check up on you later.”

mingi new better than to argue with them, so he stood up and fixed his leather jacket, telling him he’d order room service and then go to sleep. “see you guys later then.”

your eyes fixed themselves on mingi as he took the elevator up, hands shaky and clammy as you realized who the two guys in front of you were. “mia, you s-see them too, right?”

her mouth was open wide when you looked over to her, and you could tell she was speechless. you tried to regain your compose and took a sip of your drink, trying everything to try and get your senses back.

she saw what you were doing and played along, realizing you wanted nothing more than to crawl up in a ball and scream into a pillow. “so.. how’s school?”

you two bursted out laughing at her words, but your knee hit the counter and both san and hongjoong looked up at you. san looked away when he saw you were okay, but hongjoong’s gaze didn’t leave yours after he recognized you as the girl from the concert. 

“shit, he’s looking at you, y/n.” you focused your eyes on the glass in front of you, toying with the hem of your shirt as you let out a shaky breath. “shut up or they’ll hear us-”

“oh, you’re the girl from the concert, right?”

—

you didn’t even know how you were in this position, his lips smashed against yours in a hot and steamy kiss as you ground your bodies into each other. but you were. 

so for now, the only thing on your mind was how his hand felt between your thighs, thumb brushing over your clit and making your legs want to give out soon.

your back arched against the door when you felt his lips ghost over your collarbone, and you could feel his lip piercing against your skin as it burned. “ngh, hongjoong,”

your clothes had been discarded long ago, only your white lace that was now soaked through on, and hongjoong still had his black ripped jeans on along with his white t-shirt. he moved you to sit on his bed, “lay back for me princess, I wanna make you feel good.”

you did as he told, sitting up on your elbows so you could watch him. his tongue swept up and down your left thigh as his fingers toyed with you over your panties., “please, just do something already..”

he smirked and gave a sharp squeeze to your other thigh, “patience, baby.” you felt him drag his lips up your body, taking his time to place wet kisses across your stomach and over your hip bones. “I bet you taste amazing.”

you groaned at his words, pulling him up to you by the nape of his neck and you crashed your lips together. he swiped his tongue over yours, groaning into your mouth as he did so. “then taste me.”

you didn’t have to say it again, and he trailed his way down your body while his fingers pulled your underwear down your legs, tossing them on the floor. you watched as he spread your legs wide for him, and you could’ve come right them and there just from the sight of his head in between your thighs.

“so pretty,” his arms wrapped around you, nails digging into the skin of your waist. his eyes didn’t leave yours when he licked a long stripe up your pussy, taking his time to swirl his tongue around your clit before sucking it into his mouth.

you couldn’t help it as you reached down to grip his hair, and he moaned into you when he felt his scalp burn as you tugged. “fuck, you feel so good joongie.”

all his fans called him by that nickname, so he’s not exactly sure why it felt different when you said it. it came out like a whine, and he felt his boxers get tighter and tighter with each passing second. “tell me how much you want me, y/n.”

“I want you so bad,” you whispered into his ear after he crawled his way back up your body. “I want you to fuck me until I’m screaming your name.”

he tugged his underwear down and slid them off, placing lingering kisses on your neck as he teased you with the tip of his cock. “you want me, princess? want me to have my way with you, make you come over and over again,” his breath fanned your ear, “make your cum mess up the sheets while I keep you quiet with my hand around your throat?”

you couldn’t help the borderline pornographic moan that slipped past your lips at his words, or the way your legs wrapped tightly around his waist. he placed an open mouthed kiss on your lips, shaking his head lightly before pulling away from your body. “nah ah, baby. I wanna slap that pretty ass you have while I fuck you,” without warning, he pulled you to the edge of the bed and flipped you over, pushing his hand on the small of your back. “good girl.”

your nails scratched at the fabric beneath you, pushing your ass out and groaning when he spread your legs apart. he grabbed himself and dragged his cock up and down your pussy, and he swore he’d never been harder.

you couldn’t believe this was happening right now. one of your favorite artists is about to fuck you dumb, and all because you both so happened to stay at the same hotel for one night.

“you’re so wet, y/n. fucking soaking for me.” he leaned down to bite your ear before pushing himself in you with one single thrust. he didn’t move, and you assumed he wanted to give you time to adjust. “beg for it, baby.” and only if it was that easy.

the way you screamed for him to fuck you, and all while his hand was secured tightly around your throat. 

the way your brain was starting to get fuzzy, only thoughts of how good he felt inside of you present.

the way he would land a harsh slap to your ass if you tried to muffle your moans. 

the way he would groan or hiss whenever you clenched tightly around his cock.

it was all too fucking much

but you completely lost all your senses when he pushed down on the small of your back while he fucked into you, and you swore you could feel him in places you didn’t even know existed. “r-right there, fuck!”

he was panting, and in that moment he knew this wouldn’t be a one time thing. it felt different, almost too good to give up. he knew you were his new drug, and rehab would be a bitch if he wanted to quit.

his hand squeezed one last time, halting the breath you were ready to take. you felt your nails tear the bed sheets below you as you came, and you could feel his cum fill you up as it spilled out and onto the cloth under you. 

after he pulled out, he kissed up your back and placed a soft kiss on your forehead. “I’ll go get the bath ready.”

and that’s when you knew, he was way more than just some boy in a band.

─────

[twstwonderlandstuff]

Octo Love! (Reader x Azul!)

Original song

My cover 

In which [Name] gets a little too tired and goes on a sporadic singing journey.

It always feels like you’ve exhausted yourself to the max limit. Every day, you trudge back to Ramshackle, muscles and back sore from the work Crowley forces upon you, that damned bird. Every day, you collapse into the soft cushions in Ramshackle and fall asleep in 3 seconds, and after an hour-long ‘nap’, you wake up to see Grim sprawled on top of you, snoozing away (you’re always grateful for the ghosts you take their time to spread a blanket on top of both of you). 

But today… today was different. 

No, you’re still exhausted (come ON now, this is school and when does one catch a break from school?), eyebags visible, but this time, you don’t get the chance to go to Ramshackle. 

No-no-no. See, you’re broke. Very, very, broke, and you have to work, and what better place to get models, than working in Monstro Lounge, right?

Well, it depends. 

On good days, working there can be its sort of fun, with Floyd’s unstable mood swings, the business of the place, Azul (with his mafia-like nature) running the place to perfection, and Jade’s butler act, but on other days were simply dealing with that is too much. 

You lose all sense of logic and fear- throw that shit out of the window, dawg, it doesn’t matter.

Say it with me, loud in clear! LOGIC AND FEAR DOESN’T MATTER! Again! LOGIC AND FEAR-

“Shrimpy~?” Floyd asks, and you gasp in alarm, gripping onto whatever you were doing. What were you doing?

Ah, yes, cleaning Monstro Lounge after dark, right, right…

“Yo, Floyd…” You give him a weak grin, tiredly pushing the mop against the tiles. “I’m so… sleepy.”

“But you’re always sleepy.” Floyd points out, lighting up. “Ah, wait here, Shrimpy. I got something for you~” He quickly leaves, leaving you looking like a deer in spotlights. 

“Ehh… ah, whatever…” You mumble, going back to your duties. Oh god, the floor’s beginning to look like something entirely different….

“[Name]? Are you alright?” This time it’s Jade asking, his calm and soothing voice forcing you to rub out the sleepiness from your eyes. You know he’s not that concerned, but the verbalization is appreciated. 

“No, not really. Fuck, I just want-” You don’t get the chance to finish your complaint as Floyd bursts in, holding a sheet of music and a mic in hand. 

“Shrimpy~! You know when you sang that weird song?” Your eyes snap open for the first time, and your cheeks redden. Ahh…

It’s a song from your middle-school years, how embarrassing. You were talking with Floyd- well, to be precise, he was spinning and squeezing you about- and as he was spinning you, you began to hum a little tune. The eel picked up on it, and insistently asked what you were singing about, so you gave him the entire rundown of the song.

He giggled, saying how weird it sounded, but his grin contradicted his statement and before you could realize it, he dropped you on the ground and ran away, doing who knows what- and it seems that he’s…

“You… wrote the entire note-chorus- thing?! Based on what I said?!” You shout, skimming over the notes he’s written down messily. 

“Floyd, this is amazing, holy shit!” You gasp in amazement. “That’s so cool!”

“Hehe, sea otter helped me out! Sea otter’s too nice, it’s kinda annoying.” Floyd pouts, going to sling his arm around Jade. “Whatcha think, Ja-de?”

The twin smoothly takes the paper out of your hands and reads the notes, looking amazed. “Ah.. this truly is spectacular, Floyd. Good job.” He pats Floyd on the head, and Floyd grins at the praise. 

“What’s going on here?” Ah, the man of the hour, the head of the fish mafia himself, Azul Ashengrotto.

You might or might not harbor a tiny, insignificant crush on him. No, you don’t have secret doodles of him and you in the corners of your notebook, of course not! That very notion revokes the idea of logic!

But then again, didn’t you say ‘FUCK LOGIC!’ just a while ago? You did, didn’t you?

…

Well, maybe the crush is bigger than that. There might be a chance that it’s 0.1% bigger than that.

…

No, you most definitely harbor an obvious crush on the silver-haired bloke, and EVERYONE KNOWS, except the bloke himself!

“A-Azul, hey!” He waves you aside, used to the way you stutter when you speak to him.

 “Floyd, I believe I told you to check on [Name], not needlessly wave around a piece of paper,” Azul says, adjusting his glasses.

“But A~zul~ take a look! I, Sea Otter, and Shrimpy made this, you know! And I don’t wanna work anymore! I wanna play the piano~” Without giving Azul a chance to protest, he grabs you (and throws you over his back like a sack of potatoes) and the paper, and runs to the piano Monstro has, leaving Jade to deal with Azul. 

“Jade, set me down at once-” Azul complains as he’s handled similarly to you, looking undignified. 

“My apologies, Azul, but it wouldn’t do good to displease Floyd.” Jade chuckles.  “Besides, don’t you want [Name] to rest? It seems that you were quite worried about their health, fufu.”

Azul stiffens, a light blush adorning his ears. “I haven’t the slightest idea of what you’re talking about.”

“Ah, I must have misunderstood. My apologies.” Jade snickers, setting Azul down on one of the tables in Monstro Lounge, sitting next to him. 

You and Floyd are too far away to hear this conversation, with Floyd getting the piano up excitedly and handing you the mic. 

“Wait, are we going to play a concert? In the middle of the night?” You mutter, taking the mic dumbly. 

“Duh~ you’re pretty dim, Shrimpy!” Floyd snickers darkly, setting the music sheet in front of him and stretching. “What did Goldfish say…? Oh yeah, this spell!” 

After the spell was cast, the piano began to play a tune to what you’re familiar with. 

“Holy shit. It’s playing by itself?!” Floyd pays no heed to your words and began dancing. 

“Come on, Shrimpy, sing!” He encourages you, clearly having fun. 

Well, what’s the harm? You turn the mic on, and begin singing, moving your body for a bit.

“Ooo, we break the laws of attraction

Like you’re sent from above

Got a case of octo love”

Azul glares at the oddly fitting words but begins to slowly bop his head. Jade is smiling, stiffly dancing in his seat. 

“Ooo, we’re like a chemical reaction

Or a code you can’t debug

Got a case of octo love”

“She’s always turning to violence-” Floyd laughs particularly hard at this, and swings you around, leading you to giggle halfway through the song. 

“…’s so determined she’s timeless

And I’m so nervous I’m silent.”

Floyds leaves you be, and you pause in time with the music. 

“What if she finds out I’m lying?

What if she sends me home crying?

Why can’t I just be kawaii?”

“Isn’t that a term Idia-shii often uses…?” Azul mutters. Floyd comes closer to Jade and Azul, picking the latter up. 

“Wait wait wait-!” 

“Too late, Azul~” He plonks Azul, next to you, and you give him a grin. 

“Baby, baby, baby, you’re so fine-” You scream into the mic, clutching it like a madman. 

Mew mew kissy cutie, you’ll be mine-

Crushing, crushing, crushing, on AZUL-” 

The octopus freezes in shock, as you continue with the very, very fitting lyrics. Floyd’s going absolutely ham, doing some sort of ska dance with his twin as he laughs at your mistake. (RIP all the other members of Octavinelle). 

“Oh, did I say that out-”

No, did I say that out loud?!” You, being dramatic, clutches Azul’s hands and shake them, seemingly unaware of what you’ve said. 

The octopus face reddens almost immediately when you swing his arms as children do.

“Ooo, we break the laws of attraction

Like you’re sent from up above

Got a case of octo love”

The poor dorm leader would like to hide under his octopod forever now, thank you very much. 

“Ooo, we’re like an improper fraction

Hope this ship gets safe to shore

Though I’m quite unsure”

“Come on shrimpy, join us!” Floyd grabs you and Azul, and together, the 4 of you began dancing in a circle as the Dance Break ensues, your and Azul’s hands holding each other. Azul just repeatedly wants to die of shame and embarrassment. 

“She’s always turning to violence

I’m always turning to science

She’s so determined she’s timeless 

And I’m so nervous I’m silent.”

You lot stop spinning, dizzy, and out of breath as Floyd takes the mic and sings into it, surprisingly melodious (well, maybe it’s not THAT much of a surprise. He IS from the sea, after all.)

“What if she finds out I’m lying?

What if she sends me home crying?

Why can’t I just be kawaii?

And then I’m like…”

Jade takes the microphone, seemingly knowing the lyrics, and sings into it, making you cheer as you press close to him. 

“Baby, baby, baby, you’re so fine

Mew mew kissy cutie, you’ll be mine-”

You grab the mic back, spinning in place. 

Crushing, crushing, crushing on Azul-”

You point towards the dorm leader, who’s taken to sitting on the floor of Monstro Lounge and hiding most of his face with his hands, excluding his eyes, and come near him, getting your face a little too close to his liking. 

“And so I shout it out!” 

And so I shout it out loud!”

You grab Azul by the hand and drag him towards you, skillfully keeping him balanced. He can’t help but wonder, Where was this energy when you were working?

You began to do a sort of impromptu couple dance, your exhausted giggles and laughs slipping in and Azul sighs at the silliness of it all, but… he smiles genuinely. 

You look so plaintively happy here that he can’t help it, you know?

“Ooo, we’re like a warrior in action

Fit together like a glove-”

You shove the mic into his face, and he, in a low voice, murmurs. 

“Got a case of octo love…”

You gasp dramatically, looking like you didn’t notice him. 

“OOOOH MY GOD HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN STANDING THERE?!”

“I’ve been right here the whole time…” He mutters, a little confused. Is this part of the song, or something?

“Ok, now I want to die.” You say, deadpan. The twins, who were back to their own ska dance thing, grabs the mic from you and pulls you and Azul by the arms (again). The four of you began to sing in harmony (as harmonious as you can get, anyway). 

“Ooo, we break the laws of attraction-”

You eagerly grab the mic back.  “A duet will maybe do... cuz I invited Floyd and Jade too!”

“Hehe, of course, you did, Shrimpy~”

“Smooshed together like a bug!!”

“Got a case of Octo love~”

You let out a huge laugh, giggling and snickering as Jade sets you down, catching your breath. 

“That was… fun…! But now, I...holy shit… I’m tired…” You gasp in exhaustion, falling flat onto one of the couches and quickly began to fall asleep, but-

“Ne, Shrimpy?”

With the last bit of your strength, you open your eyes just a tiny bit. “Wha..?”

“D’ya realize what ya said?” Floyd’s grin is wide like he was about to tease the SHIT out of you or use you in some way. He flops on the floor and leans onto your leg. 

“The song, yeah?”

“Hihihi, Shrimpy~,” The twin says. “You’ll see tomorrow~ goodnight.” He says quietly, a quick change of mood. 

“Sleep tight.” Jade laughs, sitting down next to you and putting his head back. 

“Don’t let the bed bugs bite.” Azul finishes, sitting a bit further away from the 3 of you. 

“G’night.” Not a second later, and you are asleep, breathing softly.

*

“Ne, ne, Azul~? Watcha think of Shrimpy’s confession?”

“Th-that wasn’t a confession! It was a slip of the tongue.”

“Eh. You’re still gonna deny that. That’s cowardly, Azul~ Even Shrimpy knows better than that.”

“I must agree. Honestly, to think that you were beaten to confessing. And most oddly, too.”

“I...um…”

*The Leech twins grin widely at Azul’s clamming up. 

“Hmm~?”

“J-just leave me be!”

*With a face as red as tomatoes, Azul leaves, assuming to hide in his octo pot. 

[Thanks v much for reading! This is a better version of what I put out yesterday because god damn, that was disgraceful.]

[anchorandrope]

i cant believe its been 4 years since ‘harry styles’ came out, i feel like it was yesterday. i still remember my reaction to every song

the first one we listened to was ‘sign of the times’, on april 7. i was fascinated with harry’s voice, the high notes in that song are just wonderful. the music video was a beautiful shock, it was something very different from what i was used to seeing from him (bc of the band), from the first moment i realized that his songs were going to be very sincere

then we heard ‘sweet creature’ on may 2, and i still remember how i screamed when i heard the “two hearts in one home”, the “wherever i go you bring me home” and the “when i run out of road, you bring me home” and all that rope or road situation. i couldnt believe they had allowed him to use the exact same word as louis used to describe their relationship, home♡. also my emotion to see that the only singles were sc and sott made it more than clear that all the love they had (have) to each other never disappeared for a single second not even in the worst moments. the song is so loud that i cant believe antis still exist after it came out

then on may 12 we had the rest of the album

with ‘meet me in the hallway’, i remember how emotional i got with the “i gotta get better, gotta get better and maybe we’ll work it out” bc it was just what i needed to hear

i loved the intro of ‘carolina’, i even repeated it before i listened to the whole song

again, i screamed when ‘two ghosts’ started, the “same lips red same eyes blue same with shirt couple more tattoos” was so AAAAAHHHH OMG and the “i cant touch what i see” hurt a lot and it hurt even more when we knew it was written in 2013. im still waiting to the mv tho

‘only angel’ put me in a good mood, i wanted to sing it out loud even though i didnt know the lyrics. i hadnt paid that much attention to the lyrics but once i did i loved the song so much more

‘kiwi’ was just… wow he really said “oh i think she said im having your baby its none of your bussines” and “in a black dress she’s such an actress”. i listened to it like about 3 times in a row and i thought ‘damn this is loud as fuck, i want to see the excuses that antis make about this one’. the mv blew my mind, the costumes were amazing but i really didnt understand what all that meant. im terrible with metaphors. how lucky that people here on tumblr are intelligent and were able to elaborate hypotheses that seem to be extremely correct

the melody of ‘ever since new york’ is one of my favorites, “choose your words’ cause there’s no antidote for this curse” hurted a lot until i heard “lovin’ is the antidote” in golden

when i thought all the obviously-larry songs were over, ‘woman’ proved me otherwise. the song is soooo obvious and it was even more obvious when he changed the ‘he’ to ‘she’ at a concert. the song for me is one of the catchiest, every time i listen to it for the next few hours my mind doesnt stop saying “woman la la la la la wo-woman” one of my favorites by far

‘from the dining table’ in my opinion is the saddest of the album, “comfortable silence is so overrated” ouch.

the album is one of my favorites, his voice is beautiful, the melodies are so nice and the lyrics are so deep. this album accompanied me in one of the worst years of my life so i have a great emotional attachment to it. it was hard having to hear his voice without the voices of the other boys, but seeing the incredible work he did with the album took me out the saddness of the ‘hiatus’ and made me very excited to listen to everyone’s solo music

anyways, hs1 owns my heart

[jawritter]

Broken Me...

Ch. 2

Summery: The Dallas Convention couldn't have come at a worse time for Jensen. His world fell apart earlier that morning, but was expected to just act like everything was normal. You and a friend were at the convention for her birthday. Life hasn't been that great for you either, but a forced meeting on stage changes two worlds. Will you be able to put this broken man back together again...

Series Warings: Cheating, shitty marriage, Danneel is a bitch, I unfortunately have to put that as a warning because some people tend to get turnt up about it if you don’t... Smut, Crying, Suiside Attempt, brief discription of suicide attempt and recovery, depression, hints of self loathing, language. I think that’s it... Suicide Trigger warnings will be placed over each chapter!

Chapter Warnings: Singing in front of a crowd, crying Jensen, freaked out reader I guess? Language.. I think that’s it..

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 2315

A/N: BINGE READ TIME!! As always all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is gold!! Hope you all enjoy this one!!

Want More? Check out my masterlist!!

****MASTERLIST****

Rob and the band had really outdone themselves tonight, and  you hadn't had this much fun since your ex-fiance had taken you to Austin,Texas when Nathaniel Ratcliffe was playing on Austin city limits. 

It had been a long, hard transition to being alone...

You and Damon had been together for almost five years...

Learning how to live 'alone' was difficult to say the least, especially when you thought you had found your person, only to be proven very wrong.... 

Thank God y/f/n had been letting you crash in her guest room until you got your shit together, because when you two separated you didn’t know what was going to happen to you, or where you were even going to stay.... 

The two of you had been friends since kindergarten, and she knew you better than anyone else. So she knew not to push you into another relationship with some other douche bag just so that you would 'get over' Damon like the rest of your family were trying to do.

"Okay guys, I know there's one person who you've all been waiting for most of the night." 

The crowd was already screaming, and Rob was laughing at the fact that he didn't even have a chance to finish the sentence before the people started screaming. 

"Mr. Jensen Ackles could you come out here please sir!!" He yelled into the mic, and everybody lost their minds.

The sheer energy in the room was almost breathtaking..

Jensen came jogging up the stairs, and walked toward the mic as the crowd continued to scream. 

You have watched a lot of con videos since discovering SPN, probably to the point of a mold obsession, still on almost all the videos Jensen seemed…. Lighter? Then he did right now. 

The smile he wore now was cold, and unnatural. 

Forced…. 

Not quite reaching his eyes.... 

"Hello Dallas." He all but growls into the mic as the band starts to play the intro to Whipping Post. 

In that instant you were completely lost in the music, forgetting about your freating, and your habit of over analyzing everything, and just enjoying the moment . 

If you thought Jensen was hot just from watching him on TV, the man looked even better up close, and you were completely lost in him, must like you were sure just about everyone else in the room was. He had this ability to capture the stage, and the presents of everyone in the room. Not to mention he was extremely talented…  

You closely watched every move he made, letting the music overtake you, bringing you to a place we're for just a moment there was no pain, no bad memories, no heart break. 

Just Jensen and his voice... 

As he wrapped up the chorus of the song he came to the edge of the stage. Propping his Foot on the speaker close enough that you could almost touch him. 

When he looked down at you a cocky smirk spread across his face, and he winked. 

You damn near passed out, and your friend was next to you completely losing her mind. Grabbing your arm, shaking you screaming "Holy shit Jensen Fucking Ackles just winked at you!!"

You couldn't believe it… Surely he was just playing with the crowd, and only winked because he saw the camera sitting between the two of you...

As the song wrapped Jensen and Rob lean over, and whisper something to each other. Rob then looked your way, smirking at you. You didn’t really notice it though, because when Jensen walked back into the house lights you noticed he had the same shirt on as the guy from the elevator….

It was in that moment that you knew he’d heard you talking to Y/F/N about singing with him, and you had this sinking feeling you were about to be fuck, and not in the fun way...

"Shit." You said out loud, and Jensen stood there smiling at you like he'd read your lips. 

"What's wrong?" Y/f/n yelled over the noise of the crowd. Noticing the color drain from your face all of the sudden..

 "Jensen was in the elevator, he heard our conversation. He heard what you said about singing with him on stage." You yelled back at her over the noise, and to your horror she burst out into a fit of laughter.

You had never wanted to strangle someone so bad, but there was a room full of witnesses, you did make a mental note to get her back for this when you got back to the motel room.

"Hey Jensen," Rob said loudly over the mic. "What about that story you were telling me backstage... About the girls that you and Jared overheard in the elevator on the way to the concert tonight? Something about her friend wanting you to sing with her for her birthday? Wouldn't it be hysterical if they were, oh I don't, right in the front row over there." Rob says pointing right at you. 

The spot light following his finger, landing right in you, and if you could have fallen through the floor, and disappeared you would have done it. 

You tried to hide by sinking back into the crowd, but to no avail...

Jensen had already walked off of the stage, and was standing only about a  foot in front of you now with his hand out.

"Come on." He says, grinning at you. "It's your friend here's birthday wish after all. We can’t disappoint her.." He gave you another winking, and you wanted the floor to open up so you could jump in. The crowd all started making noises at once, and your friend started pushing you toward him.. 

Looks like this was happening, and there was nothing you could do about it without looking like the world’s biggest asshole there ever was..

Reluctantly you grabbed his hand, and allowed him to pull you to the stage. 

The crowd cheered for you, but you didn't really hear any of that. All you could concentrate on was Jensen's hand intertwined in your own. 

Feeling ever callous. 

His strong grip. 

Your skin tingling wherever his skin touched yours.

"Now if I heard your friend correctly you sing right?" He said, placing a mic in front of you, beautiful forest green eyes meeting your own y/e/c eyes.  

"That's what they tell me." You say, never breaking eye contact with him.

 "And, if I heard correctly, she wanted you to sing with me as her birthday present." He was smirking at you now, clearly enjoying himself. 

"That's what I heard."

You never broke eye contact with him as you two seemed to continue the game of twenty questions he was playing with you. 

"Well my final question Ms.?" He said, pausing for you to say your name. 

"Y/n"

 "Right, sorry, I forgot to ask you that." He threw his head back into one of his whole body laughs before continuing.. 

"If I heard correctly again she also requested the song Picture, by Kid rock and Sheryl Crow." He finally broke contact with you, and was typing on the tablet Rob had sat in front of him. 

"That's what she said." You retort back to him, earning yourself a smart ass look that before he continued…

"Well it just so happens Google was able to knock the dinosaur shit off this ancient ass song, and show us the lyrics." He fired back at you, and the crowd roared with laughter. 

"Well I'll be damn why not, I'm already up here." You say sarcastically, motioning around you, and Rob nearly feels backwards laughing at you, Jensen gave you his best bitchface as he motioned to the band for them to start to play.

Your momentary cocky sarcasm faded, and your stomach was doing flips with nerves. Until you heard his smooth yet ruff voice melt into you with the melody. Pulling you into your happy place.

Living my life in a slow hell

Different girl every night at the hotel

I ain't seen the sunshine in three damn days

Been fueling up on cocaine and whisky

Wish I had a good girl to miss me

Oh Lord I wonder if I'll ever change my ways

I put your picture away

Sat down and cried today

I can't look at you

While I'm lying next to her

I put your picture away

Sat down and cried today

I can't look at you while I'm lying next to her

He looks at you and half heartedly smiles. You could tell he was a little nervous as to what was about to come out of you, for all he knew you couldn’t sing your way out of a wet sack, boy didn’t he get the surprise of his life as your voice blended in with the music, sounding almost as good a Sherl herself. Turning he gave the crowd an approving nod, you even got a few cheers out of it..

I called you last night in the hotel

Everyone knows but they won't tell

But their half-hearted smiles tell me something just ain't right

I've been waiting on you for a long time

Fueling up on heartaches and cheap wine

I ain't heard from you in three damn nights

I put your picture away

I wonder where you've been

I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him

I put your picture away

I wonder where you've been

I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him

Jensen was now circling around you, pulling you closer to him with one arm, fully into making a  performance out of this now that he was sure you could do it. You followed his lead not wanting to look like an idiot, facing him now you start with your line again.

I saw ya yesterday with an old friend

It was the same old same how have you been

Since you've been gone my world's been dark and grey

You reminded me of brighter days

I hoped you were coming home to stay

I was headed to church

I was off to drink you away

As he sang his lines to you and you to him you could almost see pain there, and it threw you… When he got to his last line he threw everything he had into it, and a stray tear fell down his face. He quickly duked he face to the other side of yours in what probably looked like a very intimate touch to the crowd, when really he was just hiding to wipe his face. He recovers quickly as the two of you finished the song, and none one was ever going to be any the wiser...

I thought about you for a long time

Can't seem to get you off my mind

I can't understand why we're living life this way

I found your picture today

I swear I'll change my ways

I just called to say I want you to come back home

I found your picture today

I swear I'll change my ways

I just called to say I want you

To come back home

I just called to say I love you

Come back home

As the crowd cheered he bolted off the stage, walking as fast as he could toward the stairs, behind the curtain, and out of your sight.. 

Rob grabbed your hand holding it in the air like you won a wrestling match, but you were pretty sure he was just trying to get your attention away from a fleeing Jensen... 

"Y/n and Jensen everybody." 

There were cameras, and phones videoing everywhere. Y/f/n was practically hyperventilating in her seat, you were a little glad you couldn’t see the whole crowd, because you were almost sure you would have passed out now that the adrenaline was fading... 

When you went to exit the stage off to the side, Richard grabbed your arm and pulled you to the side of the stage out of everyone's view. 

"What the hell was that? Why did Jensen run off the stage?" Richard said, and for a moment you just stood there shocked, and confused at his behavior. 

Then it hit you, Jensen wasn’t acting like you thought he might have been while you were singing..

He really was crying…

 "I don't know!" 

Your Stomach fell to your feet, and you wanted nothing more than to get away from everyone in that moment. Jensen wasn’t acting, something was wrong, and he was trying to hide it, so you weren't about to tell Richard that Jesnen was crying..

Just as you were about to panic, you feel a huge hand grab your shoulder, and Jared’s voice boom from behind you over the music. 

"It wasn't you." He said to you, giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Jensen’s just got some personal things going on right now, and he needed to get off the stage, he’s fine. Go and enjoy the concert. You were friggin' awesome up there!" 

He pulls you into a tight hug, giving Richard a stern look over your shoulder that you didn't see..

“Thanks" you say, hugging him back before  practically running back to your seat. Leaving a very confused Richard to talk to Jared alone. 

You slid back into the crow as random people high-five you, and slap you on the back. 

You were determined not to tell Y/f/n anything was wrong. Whatever Jensen had going on was obviously personal, and you did not want to be the one to start rumors, or throw him under the bus for people to question him about what was wrong. 

So you pushed the worry down and tried your best to slow your rapidly beating heart, determined to keep what happened on that stage to yourself if it killed you...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List: @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @thecreatiivecorner​  @aflamboyanceofgays @deanwanddamons​​ @imabitch4jensen​​ @rvgrsbrns​​ @bi-danvers0​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @i-love-superhero​​ @akshi8278​ @alanegaming @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @defenderrosetyler​ 

Binge Tag: 

@sarahbaker2010​

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Seventy-Seven

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: Fluff and smut.

a/n: shorter part tonight since last night was so long.

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

“Babe? Gotta package.” Harry says as he comes in from work.

“Oh I wonder if it’s my shirt for the concert!” You rush over to him and snatch it. “I got a shirt from Etsy cause I don’t really like the merch.”

Harry smiles as you open the package and you gasp with delight. You got a black short sleeve crop top that said “Blinding Lights” on it it glittery writing.

“It’s perfect! Do you like it?”

“Yeah, looks nice.” He kisses your cheek and goes to sit on the sofa with Buster.

“I’m so excited, Harry. I still can’t believe you got fifth row seats!” You plop down next to him.

“Was thinkin’ we could go in and eat at Beer Works beforehand, would you like that?”

“Yeah! Love it there. Only a couple more days!” You squeal. “Do you feel like you know enough of the lyrics?”

“Yeah, babe. Think I got it.” He smiles.

“I wonder what songs he’ll do from his older albums. I hope he does Party After the After Party, that’s one of my absolute favorites.”

“I know, that’s your go to when we’re fuckin’.”

“Shut up.” You swat at him and giggle. “I like Aquainted too, and I Feel It Coming. Honestly, every song by him is a good song.”

“And you’ve really never seen him live before?”

“Never! This is the best early birthday present ever.”

“Does your family have anythin’ planned for you. I know we’re gonna be gone for a long weekend during your actual birthday…”

“No, I think our plan is to do a conjoined thing. Michael’s birthday is the weekend after mine, and my dad’s is the weekend after that. Michael’s gonna be one I can’t believe it. So we’ll just go to his birthday party. My family will call me on my birthday.”

“That’s right, I forgot about Michael’s party. Damn, this summer is just flyin’ by.”

“I know! We leave for London soon too, it’s crazy.”

“Are you sure your mum is cool with having Buster for an entire week?”

“Yeah, she loves watching him. I’m gonna miss him so much.” You pout.

“I know, he’s just too big to bring on a plane, unfortunately.”

You grab the remote and turn the TV on.

“Do you mind if I watch Glee? I feel like once I start I can’t stop.”

“Yeah, I don’t care.”

“You like it a little, don’t you?” You look at him grinning.

“It has some funny moments. Jane Lynch’s character is hilarious. It’s a little cringey though.”

“That’s Ryan Murphy for you.” You shrug.

“Plus…I’m fully invested in this will they won’t they with Rachel and Finn. I’m hooked on it.”

“God, I don’t think you’ve ever said anything sexier to me.” You kiss him and get snuggled up.

//

The night of the concert you make sure your hair looks perfect. You had really grown it out, and your waves looked great. You put your new crop top on and get to work on your makeup. Tonight was a false lash kind of night. You grab a high waisted pair of black jeans with some rips in them and put them on. You could just see the top of your naval piercing. You cuff the bottoms of your jeans and you’re very happy with how you look.

Harry had a pair of salmon pink shorts on and a black silk shirt with the first few buttons undone tucked into them. You liked that you and Harry had different fashion senses. You also loved when he wore anything to show off his tattoos a bit.

“You look so good, Harry.” You wrap your arms around him.

“So do you.” He kisses the top of your head. “Niall will be here soon to watch Buster, he just texted.”

Niall comes up with Sarah.

“Damn! Okay, out on the balcony, gotta take some cute pics before you get all sweaty at the concert.” Sarah says and you giggle.

She takes some pictures of the two of you outside. You take some nice ones and some silly ones. You kiss him on the cheek in one.

“Kiss each other, go on.”

Harry chuckles and turns to you. He tilts your chin up and kisses you.

“So cute.”

“Thanks, Sarah.” You take your phone from her.

“I’m so glad you finally got a new phone, the camera is so much better.”

“I know! I was just waiting for a good deal to upgrade.”

“You two kids have fun.” Niall smiles. “Do you want us here? I don’t mind bringin’ him across the street.”

“It’s up to you.” Harry says. “You guys can stay here if yeh want, doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah, make yourselves at home.” You smile and give Buster a hug. “Thanks again for watching him.”

You and Harry head out. You decide to take the green line over towards the Garden. You walk over to Beer Works which isn’t too far away, and sit at the bar. You each do a tequila shooter and order some apps. Harry sticks with beer, and you get a hard cider.

You walk hand in hand, slightly buzzed, into the Garden. Your tickets get scanned in and you make your way to your seats.

“Harry…holy shit, look at how close we are.”

“Want me to take your picture in front of the stage?”

“Please!”

You beam at him and hand him your phone. Someone offers to take a picture of the two of you in front of the stage as well.

“We’re really going to be able to see him, oh my god.” You hug him and he chuckles.

“Want me to grab us some drinks?”

“Yeah, that would be great actually. Do you want some money, I brought-“ He looks at you.

“I’ll be back with some beers.”

You watch Harry walk away, and look back to the stage. You can’t help but squeal with excitement. Harry comes back about ten minutes later with two large beers.

“Line was already crazy.” He hands you yours.

“Thanks, babe.” You sip on it and he sits down next to you.

You both were taking advantage of the little time left you wouldn’t be on your feet. You were happy you both were smart enough to at least wear sneakers.

You and Harry go for bathroom and beer runs during the two opening acts, not really interested in their music as much. You get back in your seats just when the second opener is done. The Garden goes dark and you squeal. You both stand up and you scream along with the crowd when he comes out.

He starts off with Alone Again, and works his way through most of the After Hours album. The crowd goes nuts when he goes into Starboy. You were having a great time. You ended up standing in front of Harry so you could rock against him. You would occasionally here him sing along and it sent a shiver up your spine. You got some great pictures and videos of The Weeknd, you swore he looked right at you. He sings I Feel It Coming, and Harry wraps his arms around you tighter. Another song you two had on in the background many times. Next he goes into Earned It, Often, and Acquainted. You were losing your fucking mind. He sounded so good loud, and you were having the best time just jamming out.

“So I thought I’d talk to the crowd for a minute, we’re at that point in the show.”

The crowd roars as he addresses certain people. He calls different people out, it’s a lot of fun. He has thre lights up in the balcony so he can thank the people from farther away. He walks along the stage, calling out people closer to him. Then his eyes fall to you.

“This girl, who’s been dancing on her man all night, where’d you get that shirt?” You freeze and point to yourself. “Yes, you. That’s not official merch.” He scolds you and you laugh.

“It’s from Etsy! Get better merch!”

“Get better merch, huh?” The crowd laughs. “Well, I’m glad someone made some money, guess that’s all that matters. You having a good time?” You smile and nod your head yes. “I know you are, you’ve been grooving the whole night, we love to see it.”

He moves on to someone else and you turn to look at at Harry, your mouth agape.

“I filmed that whole thing! Look!” Harry shows you his phone.

“That was the coolest fucking thing ever!”

He does his Dirty Diana cover, and then goes into Party After the After Party. You turn around to Harry and squeal, then you turn around to watch the stage again. Harry couldn’t help but laugh at your excitement. You had been a ball of energy all night. The show ends, and he comes back out to sing The Hills.

You and Harry wait a minute or two to head out, letting the crowd disperse before fighting your way through it. You walk through the Garden, keeping your hand on the back of Harry’s shorts while he leads you through the people. You get down to the green line, and only find one seat available. He sits down and pulls you into his lap. You turn to look at him and smile.

“This was one of the greatest nights of my life. Thank you so much.”

“I’m so glad you had fun. That was one of the best concerts I’ve been to in a long time.”

“I can’t believe he actually spoke to me! That was so cool.”

Harry moves to whisper in your ear.

“I can’t wait to get you home. You were grinding your ass on me all night, it was torture.” He kisses your cheek and holds you a little tighter. You smile at him and kiss him quick.

//

Sarah was passed out, leaning on Niall’s shoulder. The two thought Buster would be more comfortable in his own home. They were watching TV when she fell asleep. Niall was half asleep when he heard the shuffle of feet and giggling from the front hall.

“Babe, I think they’re back.” He lightly nudges her.

“Hm? Okay.” She yawns.

Harry gets you through the door, and lifts you up so you can wrap your legs around him. He pushes you up against the wall and kisses on your neck. You start giggling. Your hands move to unbutton Harry’s shirt. You push it off his shoulders and he lets it fall to the floor. He takes your crop top off and kisses on your chest. You had a simple black bra on.

“Bedroom.” You groan into his ear.

He gets a better grip on you and starts walking into the rest of the apartment.

“Oh my god!” Sarah says.

Harry sets you down and hugs you to his chest. You hide your face in him. He needed you to stay close to hide his raging boner.

“You two are still here?” He says embarrassed.

“Yeah, we were gonna stay until you got home! Are you both drunk?!” You turn your head slightly to look at them and nod.

“Jesus.” Niall laughs. “Glad yeh didn’t get full naked out there.”

“Okay, well, thank you both so much for watchin’ Buster, goodnight.”

“Wait, how was the concert?”

“It was good Sarah, goodnight!” You say to her.

“Alright, alright, we’re leaving.”

Niall gives harry a thumbs up before they leave.

//

“They act like they never get a chance to do it.” Sarah laughs and looks at Niall. “How come we never do that?”

“Do what?”

“You never feel the need to get my clothes off the second we walk in the door.”

“Oh, you mean like this?”

Niall lifts Sarah up over his shoulder the second they get into his apartment and she squeals.

//

“I completely forgot they’d be here.” Harry says laughing.

“Me too!” You look at each other for a second. “Are gonna stand here or?”

“Oh right.”

He lifts you back up and carries you to the bedroom. Buster stays asleep in his dog bed. Harry undoes your jeans and yanks them down your legs. You do the same with his shorts. His lips connect with yours and you moan against him as he pushes his hips to yours. He really was hard.

You suck his bottom lip into your mouth and he groans. His hands dip into your panties and he drags them down your legs. He stays kneeling before you and grabs you by your ass, pulling you closer. He tugs one of your legs over one of his shoulders and he lips connect to your clit. You gasp when you feel his tongue lick up and down your folds. You tugs at his hair and he moans against you. He sucks and slurps on you and you feel like you’re going to lose your balance, but he steadies you. Just like when you feel you’re gonna come he stands up.

“Sorry.” He smirks. “My knees just hurt.”

“Thought you were trying to tease me.” You pout.

“Not tonight, angel.”

His hands move around you to unclasp your bra and it falls to the floor. He moves you over to the bed and he hovers over you. He kisses down your neck and chest, and sucks one of your nipples into his mouth. You reach for him and pump him slowly. He twists your piercing between his teeth while he kneads your other breast.

“Harry.” You groan. “Want you inside me, please.”

“Want you on top.”

He kisses you and sits up against the headboard. You swing a leg over him and line yourself up to sink down on him.

“Fuck.” You breathe out.

You swivel your hips and grind against him. Harry wraps his arms around you and thrusts up. You move in a rhythm together and it feels amazing. You tug at his hair and kiss him, tongues gliding along each other. Your head rolls back when he starts to rub your clit. His other hand slides up to your throat. You make eye-contact with him.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, go for it.” You smile, and he tightens his grip around you.

He moves his other hand faster on you as both continue in sync. You start panting, and love the way Harry’s large hand grips your throat. Harry looks at you, loving the way you’re just losing yourself.

“Shit, I’m not gonna last much longer.” He grunts.

You feel your stomach tighten and you clench around him.

“Fuck!” He moans as you both release at the same time. He thrusts up hard one more time as you gasp.

He loosens his grip on you, and you rest your head against his chest.

“You forgot to take your rings off.” You say, looking up at him.

“Oh, baby.” He smirks and moves some hair out of your face. “I didn’t forget.” He lightly grazes his fingers over the forming bruises on your neck. “I like the way you can kind make out my initials on you.” You involuntarily tighten around him. “And I see you don’t really mind it either.”

“I feel like I should…but I’ve always liked when you leave marks on me.” You smile. “It’ll fade, it’s fine.”

He kisses you, and you both sit there making out while he’s still inside you. You roll down on him and his cock twitches. His hands move to your hips and he rocks you back and forth on him.

“Harry, will you fuck me from behind?” You say against his lips.

“Always.” He smiles.

You giggle and get off of him to lay on your stomach. He grabs ahold of you to slide in, he gets fully on top of you how you like so his chest is flush with your back. You moan as he rocks in and out of you.

“God, you’re like balls deep, it feel so good.” You grab at the pillow under you.

Harry hooks an arm under you to grab one of your breasts, his other hand pressing into your hip. You press your ass against him as he moves around in a circle.

“Fuck, Harry.”

“Yeh like when we fuck like this?” He says into your ear.

“Yes.”

“M’not crushin’ yeh?”

“Not at all.” You moan again when he thrusts deep into you. “Fuck, I’m gonna come again, oh god, right there, keep doing that.”

Harry keeps thrusting in and hitting your g-spot. You scream into your pillow and back your ass up right into him. His release comes shortly after. He lays on top of you for a few minutes before getting up. You get up to use the bathroom after he does.

You face each other as you lay in bed. Harry rubs your back and smiles at you.

“This was the perfect night, Harry.”

“Even when we almost got naked in front of our friends?”

“Especially when that happened.” You giggle. “No, but seriously. I love making these memories with you. I’ll never forget this.”

He pulls you in closer to him and rests his chin on the top of your head. You end up falling asleep like this. Ten months ago you never thought you’d be where you are right now. Being held by the person you loved most in the world, and him loving you right back.

[mikrowrites]

just an act

Shawn Mendes x Reader

warnings: angst

PSA I love Shawn and Camila they’re wonderful people no shade to them at all!!! This is just a work of fiction!!! Stream Señorita!!!

She knew that the music video was just acting, and Shawn and Camila were just friends... until he kissed her in front of thousands.

Señorita was the anthem of the summer.

Y/N had been incredibly supportive, even sitting on set and watching as her best friends shot their music video. Though yes, it seemed uncomfortable watching them so intimate, Shawn would constantly run over and peck Y/N on the lips as if saying “it’s okay, we’re acting”.

Shawn really was a brilliant actor. Y/N didn’t even see it coming.

And she felt humiliated.

Y/N had decided to surprise Shawn by flying to Toronto and going to his concert with his family. Karen had picked her up from the airport that day, Aaliyah excitedly tackled Y/N into a hug, grabbing her backpack from her.

“It’s so good to see you, Y/N! I’ve missed you so much!” The girl gasped. “And you promised to stay for my hockey match?”

“I wouldn’t miss it.” Y/N confirmed, wrapping her arm around the girl as they walked towards Karen, the woman pulling Y/N in for a hug.

“Hey, Y/N. Doing well?” Karen smiled.

Y/N nodded, sighing. “Been better, but yeah.”

The night the first paparazzi photos of Shawn and Camila hit, Y/N had called in tears to Karen.

“I don’t know if I can do this.” Y/N cried. “It hurts so bad, K.”

“You and I know Shawn better than anyone. He loves you so much, and he’s just promoting his album. Everything will end okay, I promise.” Karen had advised.

Karen squeezed her arm, the three of them getting into the car. They had managed to convince Shawn that him and Manuel needed some father-son time, so Karen and Aaliyah were sneaking Y/N to Pickering while the two men were in Toronto.

Y/N anxiously applied the lipstick to her lips, staring at the mirror anxiously. Her insecurities had recently been getting the best of her, with Shawn’s fake relationship. Camila was so effortlessly more beautiful that Y/N, funnier, sexier.

She shook her head, casting out the thoughts weighing down her brain. Shawn loves Y/N, that was that. Y/N ran her hand through her hair one time, smiling at the mirror as she left the bathroom.

The arena was packed, fans shouting song lyrics as they waited for the lights to dim. Y/N sat with Aaliyah and Karen, anticipating the start of the show. Y/N had of course seen it already when they came to her home town and knew the set list by heart.

Manuel came to join them, Y/N wrapping her arms around him.

“He doesn’t suspect a thing.” Manuel confirmed, the family and Y/N excited for the surprise. They couldn’t wait to see the look on Shawn’s face when he saw Y/N. Hell, even Alessia was in on it. During her opening act she kept sparing smiles at where she knew Y/N was seated.

Soon the beginnings of Lost in Japan filled the venue, Y/N and Aaliyah screaming the lyrics to his opening numbers together. Y/N was soon excited to hear her favorite song from the album, Mutual, when she herself was caught by surprise.

The chords of Señorita began to fill the arena, Y/N slowing stopping cheering. Confusion flooded her brain, until her heart stopped.

Shawn grinned as Camila walked out on stage.

Y/N turned to Karen in confusion, who looked just as shocked. Y/N decided to play along and cheer and clap to the song. It’s just four minutes, Y/N repeated in her head, her own personal mantra to get through it.

The song was nearing it’s end, Y/N sighing in relief. Finally.

Suddenly Shawn and Camila drew closer to each other, Y/N’s smile dropping and her heart racing as they stared into each other’s eyes.

He won’t kiss her, they’re just re-enacting the music video, Y/N firmly decided.

The music cut out, Y/N letting out the breath she’d been holding, looking up in time to see her worst nightmare.

Shawn and Camila leaned in, the two passionately kissing as though there weren’t thousands watching them.

Y/N’s world came crashing down.

The loud and thrilling cheers of the fans were inaudible to her, as she stared at the stage in shock. Her breathing quickened, barely hearing Karen shouting her name. Y/N turned to the family, who were staring at her in shock and pity. “I—I need to go... enjoy the concert...” Y/N managed out before turning and walking out.

She speed walked into the nearest bathroom, where she locked herself in a stall, finally allowing the tears to fall. Y/N wailed in agony, her mind racing with the damn song, paparazzi photos, and the two kissing.

Y/N was a fool.

She stood, looking in the mirror at her reflection. Y/N truly was no match for the perfect and beautiful Camila Cabello. Y/N rubbed her puffy eyes, seeing her phone buzzing. Alessia was calling, and Y/N could see Aaliyah had tried thrice. Y/N powered off her phone, leaving the bathroom.

Meanwhile, Shawn ran backstage, grinning ear to ear as the concert finally ended. He was however met with an angry Alessia.

“You fucking dick.” Alessia spat, curling her hands into fists.

“Les? What’s going on?” Shawn immediately stopped smiling, approaching the girl.

Alessia frantically gestured at the stage. “That. With Camila, are you serious, Shawn?!”

Shawn shrugged. “It just... happened. I can’t even describe-“

“Y/N.”

Shawn stopped, looking at Alessia. The girl was trembling, her eyes darkening when saying Shawn’s girlfriend’s name.

“What?” Shawn asked. “It’s fine. She’ll understand, it’s just-“

“Y/N was here.” Alessia growled.

Shawn froze, his heart stopping. Alessia continued.

“She came to surprise you. She loves you. And you just kissed another girl on stage.”

He stumbled backwards, running his hands through his hair. “I-shit...”

“Is it her or Camila, Shawn?” Alessia darkly muttered, standing inches from the tall boy. “Because you can’t just switch between.”

Shawn stumbled for words, trying to piece together a coherent sentence. He remained quiet, staring down at his feet.

Alessia scoffed, stepping back. “I can’t believe you. I’m glad this tour is almost over, I can’t stand you. Enjoy fucking Camila.” With that the curly haired girl left, attempting to call Y/N again.

Y/N had wordlessly gotten a hotel room, Karen had dropped her stuff off without even asking. The woman sat next to Y/N on the bed, the girl looking up at her for any indicator that Shawn had felt remorse, loved her, wanted to see her.

Karen was quiet for a minute before finally speaking. “He brought Camila to the house. I’m sorry.”

Y/N’s face crumpled, tears cascading down her cheeks as another sob erupted from her throat. Karen gathered the girl up in her arms, soothing her as Y/N screamed into her shoulder.

Y/N should’ve seen it coming.

She should’ve known he wasn’t just acting.

A couple days later, Y/N pulled up to the ice arena, breathing in shakily. She had promised Aaliyah she’d come to her hockey game, and at least Y/N could say goodbye to the family that had cared for her for so many years.

Y/N began to walk out of the parking lot, stopped in her tracks at the sight of Shawn’s familiar Jeep in a parking spot. The car they’d scream song lyrics in, eating pizza and kissing. Y/N shook her head, marching onwards. They were done.

She entered the arena, sitting and watching the game. Y/N cheered when Aaliyah made a goal, and booed when bad calls were made.

Afterwards Y/N approached Karen, Manuel, and Aaliyah, who was still in uniform. “Y/N!” She cried, running to her and wrapping her arms around her. “I thought you wouldn’t come.”

“A promise is a promise, Liyah.” Y/N assured, pulling away. “Besides the next non-full plane ride back to (your home town/nearest city) is tomorrow, so I had to come.”

“Y/N.”

Y/N stiffened, turning to see the boy who broke her heart. He stood, his body frozen in shock, with a hand intertwined with one of Camila’s.

“Hey guys.” Y/N strained a smile. “Promised Aaliyah I’d come.”

Camila smiled nervously, Shawn still seeming to try to find words. Y/N shook her head. “You don’t have to say anything. I already know.” She turned to Camila. “I hope you two are happy together. I honestly do.”

Y/N turned and gave Aaliyah one last hug, and smiled gratefully at Karen and Manuel before she turned and walked past Shawn and Camila, leaving the ice rink.

She finally exhaled the breath she’d been holding once she made it outside, blinking tears away. Y/N shook her head again, striding to her car, driving away from her heartbreak.

Now it was Y/N’s time to act.

[wr1ter-reader-dreamer]

Better Than I Ever Could’ve Imagined (Pt. 1)

Werewolf!Shawn Mendes x Reader

Masterlist

Part 2  -  Part 3  -  Part 4  -  Part 5

My best friend liked to tell me I was obsessed with him, but I knew better than that. An obsessed fan knew all the lyrics to all of his songs and everything about him; I only knew some of his songs and the more general things about him. Still, I could appreciate how gorgeous he was, both inside and out, and talked about him to her a lot. I wouldn’t say I was obsessed with him, but I would say that I had a massive crush on him. A massive enough crush that I spent over a hundred dollars on ACL tickets just to see him in person.

Shawn Mendes was set to perform Friday night at 6, and to say I was excited was an understatement. I had never been to a music festival before, so I was also a little nervous, but I knew seeing him perform would be worth it. To get over my nerves I planned; I spent weeks planning my outfit, days planning who I would go with, and hours planning when and how I would get there. By the day before the festival the nerves were gone, replaced with nothing but anticipation.

It took me roughly two hours to get ready the day of the festival. Despite knowing it wouldn’t matter because he was unlikely to notice me, I wanted to look good for Shawn. He worked so hard to look good for his fans and put on a good show, the least I could do is look hot at his concert. With that in mind, I took my time doing my makeup.

Unlike my friends and most of the girls that would be there, I didn’t cover myself in glitter. Instead, I kept my makeup simple but elegant with classic winged eyeliner and no lipstick. Still it took time to get the perfect wing, a task made even harder by my inability to stop bouncing along to the music blaring from my speaker. I just couldn’t get the picture of that bright smile, strong jawline, and fluffy hair out of my head, which made it hard to quell my excitement and still my hand. Just knowing I was going to see him in person and hear that angelic voice made me want to squeal out loud. Like I said, I had a massive crush on the young popstar.

By the time I was finally ready to meet my friends who would also be going, it was three hours before Shawn would go on and ten minutes past when I had planned to leave. Giving myself one last look-over in the mirror, I let out an excited squeal, grabbed my keys, and hurried to meet the girls.

“Damn girl! Look who’s dressed to impress!” my friend Lila yelled out when she caught sight of me.

I laughed, my cheeks heating slightly as I did a little spin to show her the whole outfit. It took me a long time to decide on what to wear and even longer to convince myself that I could in fact pull it off. In the end, I decided that it didn’t matter what anyone else thought and it would probably be one of the least outrageous outfits there anyway. So, with my head held high in defiance, I wore a black lace bodysuit with a deep v-neck that cut all the way down to my bellybutton with a thin strip of fabric sitting horizontally under my boobs, holding the v together just enough that my breasts weren’t spilling out. I paired the bodysuit with a pair of ridiculously short, light blue cut-off denim shorts that showed of my legs and ass, a black belt, and a cord choker-necklace hybrid with a silver pendant hanging down to just below the end of the v on the bodysuit. For my shoes I kept it simple with a pair of black converse, knowing that they were likely to get muddy. I felt sexy and knew that if by some small chance Shawn did notice me, he would appreciate it.

“Only the best for her future husband, right?” Dede, my best friend, joked as I finished my spin.

I rolled my eyes with a smile, “Whatever. Are ya’ll ready to go?”

Both girls nodded, so we called an Uber and made our way to the spot it would pick us up at. The whole way to Zilker Park we laughed and sung along loudly to the songs on the radio, all of us excited for the festival. Before I knew it, we were there, standing in the third row in front of the stage Shawn was scheduled to perform on.

“Oh my god, we’re really gonna see him,” I whispered, my eyes going wide as it sunk in that he would be standing on that stage in less than an hour.

Dede laughed at my expression and bumped her hip against mine, “Maybe now you’ll stop gushing to me about how pretty he is all the time.”

I blushed lightly; I did in fact gush about how gorgeous he was very often. He was just so gorgeous, it did things to me. I was a bit affection deprived, not having had a boyfriend, or any potential prospects, in over three years. I had extremely high standards in men and Shawn met all of them, so of course I had a crush on him. It didn’t matter to me that nothing would ever happen, I was happy living in fantasy until I found someone I could really be with.

I must’ve been lost in my thoughts about Shawn for longer than I expected, because suddenly the band was coming on stage, and the crowd around me was screaming, surging forward in an attempt to get closer to the stage. My heart beat sped up, a smile slipping onto my features as I got the feeling that my life was about to change. Whether seeing him in person lessened my crush or strengthened it, something was about to change. The intro of the first song flowed through the speakers, my smile grew, I started to bounce, chanting Shawn’s name with the crowd around me, and then he was running on stage, a beautiful smile lighting up his features and a guitar in hand.

“Austin!” his voice rang out through the speakers, a melodic laugh following as the crowd screamed louder, “How are you?”

The crowd screamed again and my grin widened. Shawn radiated pure joy as he stood on stage examining the crowd in front of him. I briefly thought he must be crazy to wear a long sleeve button up and jeans to perform outside on a hot day in Texas, but the thought was quickly forgotten as he adjusted his guitar and started to sing.

My heart instantly melted at the almost perfect sound floating through the air. His voice was even amazing live, sounding just as smooth and effortless as it did recorded. If it wasn’t for the crowd pulsing around me and the sight of him standing just a few feet in front of me, I might have believed I was laying in my bed, headphones on, listening to his album. I could tell through his voice just how passionate and dedicated he was to his music and knew that this concert would not be lessening my crush. He was too pure, and seeing it in person was almost overwhelming.

The chorus of the first song was quickly approaching, Shawn preparing to inhale to get enough air in his lungs to belt out the lyrics. The wind blew, pushing my hair forwards, into my face, and towards him just as he breathed in. Surprise registered on his features and then he was searching the crowd, eyes taking in every detail as he looked for something. He was playing one of the songs I knew so when he missed his cue to start the chorus I noticed and frowned. He was obviously distracted by something, which I had never seen happen before in any of the concert videos I watched. The band seemed to think it was strange too as they exchanged looks and started the intro to the chorus again. This time Shawn sang right on cue, but I could tell that he still wasn’t focused. I had spent enough time sitting back and observing people, I could tell when their heart was completely into something, and right now, Shawn’s heart was not fully committed to this performance.

The rest of the song and the next went smoothly, but Shawn was still searching the crowd for something. When the second song ended, he pulled his guitar off his shoulder and handed it to a stage hand. Almost dejectedly he glanced off stage as he passed the instrument to the man reaching for it, and then all of a sudden he was looking right at me, his brown eyes locking on my Y/E/C ones.

[dreamcatcherjiah]

Part 3

The bass was making your body vibrate. The panthers on stage became bigger and bigger and your eyes along with them. You felt so light and painless that the air was leaving your lungs and it was as if all the air next to you wasn’t entering your body but surrounding it, enveloping it, lifting you from the floor. The music was acting as a hymn, giving you a feeling of empowerment and strength that you hadn’t known in such a long time you had forgotten it. 

And then the main tune of Dionysus came and the cameras focused on the stage and you stopped breathing. You were in a way prepared for this. You knew perfectly well who started the song, but he looked so… healthy, so active, so him that you couldn’t believe what your eyes were seeing. You had spent months worrying about him, about his change of expression every time one of their dances became a bit more strenuous than he could stand, or when one of the boys so much as hugged him tighter than usual. The Jung Hoseok you were seeing now, singing and dancing his heart out on top of a wheeled table had nothing to do with the tired person you had been worrying over for months. His skin was glowing so much, combined with the red microphone and his suit… he was a sight to behold. And you were doing exactly that. Your ears muted to the rest of the world,  you saw only him, you saw how he was feeling like himself again, how his facial expressions changed with every dance move and how his body hit every single drop of the beat to the millisecond. His hair, though styled to perfection, moved around him and cackled with electricity. He was glowing.

So engrossed you were on what was happening on the stage, you couldn’t have seen Hyejin’s face, how she looked at you as if she had never seen you before and started noticing all the changes you were seeing with your own two eyes on you. She only remembered seeing you like this years ago, before you started taking pills and looking gloomy and in pain. She used to see you like this when you arrived at the office after dancing, full of energy and radiant. Looking around, she noticed how no one had noticed something special, but then again, BTS were out on stage and when they performed everyone stopped and watched. 

How could someone be, look so powerful when mere days before looked as if they had dragged themselves from the grave? His change of attitude began to be noticeable and people began chanting his name, forgetting about the actual fan chants and going all out until the only thing louder than his name was his voice delivering his verse in Not Today. The air around you was electrifying and you weren’t sure what the reason for that was, but you weren’t about to question it. You shouted with the rest of the stadium, jumped and danced with Hyejin like there was no tomorrow. A succession of their songs blessed your ears, one after the other and you enjoyed them to the fullest. But never as much as when a certain member was out on stage.

You were so emotional and so out of it that you didn’t notice the first notes of Outro: Tear until the rest of ARMY were losing their mind over Namjoon going up in the platform. Now you knew something was weird. You couldn’t even see Hoseok from where you were standing but you knew exactly where he was. There was a pressure on your body to move towards him, to go to where he was and envelop him in your arms. And just when he came out and the big screen got him on camera you lost it as well. How could he be glowing so much, his eyes were piercing your soul through a giant screen. Were you dehydrated, had the sun messed with your head? Had you taken one too many pills and were having hallucinations? Because you could have sworn your whole soul was screaming out his name. 

On a normal day, you were just the normal ARMY, feeling a bit happier when any of the seven did something, posted something on SNS. You didn’t like one of them more than the next, but today, oh today, you were hanging on Hoseok’s every move and word as if you were a woman starving and he was the last meal on the planet. Okay, that sounded wrong, were you really that delirious?

Along with the people around you, you screamed your lungs out, danced and continued to question your sanity through every gesture, dance move and smile this man directed in your general direction. Because he was fixated with your section. You heard somewhere that they decide what section of the venue each of them is gonna focus on beforehand, and then they rotated but this was insane. It was as if he was being pulled like a magnet, no matter the song, his position on the stage, whenever they interacted a bit with ARMY, you had J-hope standing in front of you in all his glory. 

During the pause to wait for the encore, you sat down. How was it that you had so much energy? How had you been giving it your all for HOURS and not fainted out of pain? 

“You were on fire before, Y/n-ah!!” Said Hyejin after drinking a bit of water. “I swear, if Hobi hasn’t noticed you yet, those stage lights must be stronger than I thought”.

You only laughed, incredibly happy that you were there, with her, surrounded by ARMYs who were enjoying just as much as you were and, on top of everything, with BTS.

Today was a day you wouldn’t forget easily.

Before the encore found the seven members of BTS getting dressed in comfortable clothes backstage. Six of them were watching Hoseok jumping up and down, trying to burn the energy coursing through him.

“I think he has been possessed…” whispered Yoongi, loud enough for all to hear him, but Hobi didn’t seem to pay him any mind. He just kept moving, smiling and jumping, all of it without breaking into a sweat.

“How… Just how is he so… Hobi without painkillers?” Wondered Namjoon. “All of you watched him dancing as his life depended on it or was it just me?”

“Nah,” answered Seokjin, “I saw him practically glued to the left section of stage B, he looked as if he was gonna jump off the stage.” Jin facepalmed just as Hoseok started asking one of the staffs if they could already go up on stage.

“But Jungkook and Jimin are not ready yet…” answered a flustered and puzzled staff member.

Hoseok turned his eyes to a specific direction and touched his chest, just above his heart. Suddenly, there was a noise and everyone turned to see a dumbfounded Taehyung looking at Hoseok as if he had grown a second head, coffee cup staining the floor. Stuttering, he approached his hyung and, taking him by the shoulders turned him in the direction he was looking before. The rest of BTS surrounded them, no need for more people to start looking at those two as if they were insane, better safe than sorry, they say.

“Hyung, why were you looking in this direction before?” Asked a worried Taehyung.

“I don’t know…” wondered aloud Hoseok. “I just know I want to go that way. My chest is not hurting anymore, but it’s pulling me forward,” he moved his right hand forward, pointing over Tae’s shoulder, “in that direction.”

After that, some of the other members seemed to catch on. They looked to Taehyung expectantly, at how he couldn’t stop looking at Hoseok’s chest, and then turn around and look at the wall puzzled. 

They got the call to go up on stage for Anpanman and Hoseok instantly forgot about Tae and the rest of his members in favour of jumping back to the door and rush through the corridors to get to the platform. He was so excited that he nearly knocked off their feet every person he encountered on his way, but with a loud ‘sorry’ he kept waling forward. Once the seven of them were ready to go up to stage B, Taehyung looked back and nodded, resolute. He was practically sure, he just needed to check something.

The music started blasting through their in-ears and the seven men put on their professional faces and stage names and up they went. 

The crowd went mad, but that was nothing new. What Taehyung was looking for was among the masses on the right side of the stage, but the lights were too bright and shining directly on his face, to distinguish any face, let alone a thin red thread. Hoseok was already stuck to that side of the stage, and none of the rest of the members had the heart to tell him to move to another place. He did his job really well, moving to the centre of the stage when it was his time to rap, the choreographies were all on point and he hyped up ARMY like any of them were doing, even better. The crowd had obviously noticed how he was a changed man and he had been the man of the night since the moment he stood proud on top of the table at the beginning of Dionysus. There was no denying that something had happened, something that none of them had witnessed in the months or even years when Hobi had been a gloomy mess. And he would be damned, Taehyung thought, if he left the venue today without finding out the cause of his brother’s euphoria… No pun intended. So when the new bouncy castle was inflated and it was safe for them to go up, he was the first one to climb the plastic steps and stand on top looking around. Half his mind was occupied on not forgetting the lyrics and the cues he had to follow not to mess up the song, the other half only occupied on following Hobi hyung around the stage, trying to see where the other end of the red string ended. Frustrated, he slid down from the castle next to Jiminie and continued the concert, more frustrated than ever with the lights hitting his face. 

It wasn’t until the mobile phone wave just before Mikrokosmos that he was able to see clearly and with his eyes widening, he was able to see a girl, a couple of rows away from the stage, proudly sporting a Mang headband and literally glowing. She was the only one in her row not putting her flashlight up, she was just looking at them, at Hobi hyung, if he was correct, with her hands clasped tightly atop her heart, with clear eyes and the brightest smile he had ever seen in someone that wasn’t Hoseok. She had to be it, the person he had been looking for during the concert. If his theory was correct, she was the one causing the change in his hyung’s behaviour and the improvement of his health. Euphoric, he was the one now who couldn’t stop smiling, and it didn’t matter as much that this was the final concert of their tour, and it would be some months still before they got to meet ARMY again. He was still sad and emotional, but the sole thought of his hyung being okay again changed everything. 

The final chords of Mikrokosmos sounded finally, they did the customary bows and down on the platform they were. The concert was over, the fireworks and the drones were adorning the sky, and he wasted no time in taking out his in-ears and reaching Hoseok, at the same time collecting the rest of the members that had dispersed around, drinking water, discarding pieces of jewellery or clothing. Once the seven of them were forming a circle, Taehyung looked at each and every one of them in the eyes and whispered.

“She’s here, I saw the string disappearing into her chest, and she was as hyper as Hoseok hyung here,” the surprise in the rest of their faces was substituted by trepidation and slowly fading into determination, “she’s wearing a Mang headband and I would recognise her if I saw her again, we need to find her tonight.”

Six heads nodded and each went their way to change as fast as they possibly could. Namjoon took it upon himself to talk to manager Sejin and everyone he knew they could trust. Their manager sent some people out first to try and find the girl, but they all knew that who they really needed was Taehyung, and now more than ever, now that Hoseok was starting to show signs of pain again. His soulmate was leaving the venue, and with her were leaving the possibilities of a healthy and happy Hoseok.

💞Tight Hearts (Idol!Hoseok x Reader)

Plot: The red string of fate was visible when our grandparents were children. They would play around, following the strings from one person to their soulmate and laugh happily when these two people inevitably found each other. It was a reason for happiness. But little by little, people stopped seeing the threads. In bad times, it was dangerous, it was a liability, so people stopped seeing them to protect each other from harm. When I was born, nobody saw them anymore, they just felt their soulmate. Anxiety, happiness, sorrow, love, the hearts of the soulmates are one, feel the same things, but it is almost impossible to find your soulmate, now that the threads cannot be seen.

Tight Hearts Masterlist

Part 3

A/n: After I made you wait an eternity, here is part 3 finally 😆😆😆 I've been having two exams a week since the 10th of January, so you can imagine how busy (nearly at the point of pulling my hair out😀) I've been :) I hope you like this update, and let's chat!! I missed you guys❤️💜

Send me an ask if you want to be added to the tag list.

Love 💜🌙

Tag list: @obsessoverthesmallthings247 @threedecadesofawkward @mabel-k3 @tremendousminyoongi @justignoremepleaz @demonic-meatball @hadaises @littlestsweetpea28 @rjsmochii @take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d @gali-005 @salty-for-suga @indicisive-af @nomimist7 @lyssjeon @raisatarannum1234 @purplelady85 @threedecadesofawkward @valentynxmgc

[stardancerluv]

One Night, Ten Years

Part 5

Summary: when dating a rock star

Warning: one night stand, angsty sexy

His first letter arrived three short days after he had returned to the states. He wrote letters very much like how he spoke. You certainly missed him less then you should have. This happily went on for a little over a year.

During, this time he announced he was coming back to London. The new promoter and manager had done good. He was beyond thrilled to be on tour again, it meant he could see you.

After, he got the tour dates and he surprised you with renting an estate for the two of you in the country. The two of you could disappear and avoid the press.

It was all too good to be true. You had stopped believing in fairy tales when you were a child. So why would you live one now.

The letters began slow down. The plans the two of you made in the country kept your spirits high.

Then, one letter arrived a week before his arrival. It was short and to the point. The words cut you deep.

I fucked up. Forgive me. Let me explain. Curt

You assumed, he probably could not go to country. That hurt, but you could get past it. To distract yourself, you went out for drinks that night with your friends.

While you walked over to the bar, the headlines at newspaper stand caught your eye. Your heart was sliced in half.

Crazy, Rock n Roller Curt Wild Married!!!

The headline, shaped the rest of your night.

It showed photos of him giving the press the finger, while partially hiding someone. They showed pictures a nice house. Speculation, of him being perhaps a father sprinkled the articles. There was an overview of his wilder times. And it ended with would he still be able to still put on a wild show in a few days.

Nothing, seemed real. Once at the bar, you inhaled a few drinks so you no longer cared how you felt.

The friends you were with tonight, only knew that you were a fan of his. So they talked about this new development that hit the news naturally. You continued to drink.

*****

The next morning, when the bright rays of the sun danced on your heavy eyes, looking over in your bed, you saw a naked man face down soundly asleep. His inky hair fell into his face.

Who was that? You couldn’t remember his name. A good shag cures it all, you mused.

Taking a breath, you shook his shoulder. He mumbled something against the pillow, finally waking up, he turned towards you. His eyes were heavy with sleep but they cleared. He gave you a soft smile. “Good morning.” He stretched.

Damn, you did pick a good one. He was amazing to look. Your heart even skipped a beat.

“Hello.” You finally said sweetly. “Um..about last night.” You figured, you would be at least nice.

He drew himself up on one elbow. He gently laid a hand on your hip. “Want to try and get to know each other better.” He rose and lowered his brows. “We could go for breakfast.”

“Yes! No, I mean no.” You sighed.

The soft smirk that came from him almost made you forget the pain that had filled your heart in the most immediate sense.

He chuckled then squeezed your hip. “Baby, what will it be.”

“No.” You gave him a sheepish look.

He grimaced. “Alright but give me a moment.” He looked around, then he reached behind you and grabbed the notepad you usually kept for dreams on your nightstand. He scrawled and the scrawled some more.

“Writing a book, are we?” You chuckled.

He chuckled, glancing at you from under his inky strands and finished. “There is that feistiness. I like it.” He smiled at you, his bright blue eyes twinkled. “I have admit, and I’m rather fond of that laugh.” He handed you the notepad and pen. “If you change your mind. Now you can find me.”

“Really?” You didn’t look at the notepad.

He nodded. “Yeah.” He gestured to the bed, to you and then shrugged. “I normally don’t just hop into bed. Something about you pulled me in.”

*****

Once the door clicked shut behind him, was when you finally looked down at the notepad.

I’m James...like James Bond.

You’re cute. I’ve become fond of the beauty mark on your hip besides your laugh. Here’s my number, if you change your mind. 020 - 0130 - 1982.

You had to admit you smiled at what he wrote.

Putting, the notepad and pen back on your nightstand was when finally everything hit you at once. Grabbing your pillow, you began to sob. Sure, when you agreed to be his girl you expected him to have one night stands, they had not been an issue.

He was a fucking infamous rocker. The stories you had read before the two of you had met were still stories people talked about. Did you really think, he wasn’t bedding girls when he wad back in the states? Exhaustion, finally washed over you again. You let yourself pass out.

*****

The rest of the week went by in a blur. Disappearing into work you debated whether or not you should go to his concert. You also almost called James several times but you stopped yourself.

Three letters back he had sent you special tickets. You needed to seem him. Wanted him to explain. Yet, a part of you wanted to forget all about him.

*****

You chose to go. You wore a new favorite outfit. Once there you were carried along with the lyrics and his voice. He never sounded so good. During the intermission, to keep the pain you felt at bay, you had quite a few drinks.

You had long since gotten used to being able to cut through the screaming girls. Tonight, you wondered if wifey was somewhere nearby. Had he told her of the past two of you shared. Well, you will show her.

“Y/N, is that you!?” You heard a familiar voice, turning and looking you looked for it.

You smiled when you spotted Chloe. You both waved and soon ran and gave each other a hug.

“Oh! It is so great to see you, Y/N.” Then she grimaced. “Why couldn’t you be my cousin in law?”

You frowned and shook your head. “I hoped I would be one day, Chloe.” You sighed. “He wants to talk.”

“He owes you a huge apology.”

“We only dated.”

“Yeah, but he loved you.”

“Not enough.”

“Maybe seeing you, he’ll remember.”

“Maybe.”

“Enough chatting, go on up. But know this she is too.”

“What does she look like?”

“You’ll know.”

That didn’t sound good, you mused. “Alright,” the two of you shared a look. “Thank you, Chloe.”

“Anytime, girl.”

*****

Nervousness, churned hard in your stomach. You could do this, you would not cry. Once the elevator chimed you got out and went straight to the bar. You inhaled the drink. Looking around, you spotted Curt, nursing a drink. You were going to talk to him. A sense of possession filled you. Marching, over to where he was sprawled half on, half out of a chair.

His bright, blue eyes met yours as you looked down at him. His mouth opened as if to say something but no words came.

“Curt.” You reached down and grabbed him by his belt. “Which way to your bedroom?” You asked. A hush came over the room.

He gestured to a door. “Alright, you’re coming with me.”

“Curt, who is that girl?” A loud screechy voice sliced through the murmurs of the room.

Giggles, erupted from him as he let you pull him. You looked over at the voice. She looked overly done up and tacky. Her entire face wrinkled as you looked at each other.

You looked away and back at Curt. Opening, the door, you pulled him in, locked the door and finally let go of his belt.

His bare arms immediately wrapped around you. “Fuck baby, you look amazing.” His lips were on your bare shoulder. Damn, you melted against him. It had and would always feel so good in his arms. Familiar butterflies were in your stomach.

Turning and facing him, passion over took the two of you. Clothes tugged at and then thrown. There were new rips in your stockings. Somehow, the two of you made it to the bed. He was over you, looking primal and animalistic and you craved every inch of him.

You moaned loudly and clung onto him when he entered you. You moved together, new sweat blossomed on both your body. Nothing, matter. No promises or sweet words were whispered. Your mouths hungrily devoured the other.

Like a lightning bolt, a starburst you came hard under him. You moved with him, as moments later you felt as he came deep in you.

Both of you, let your bodies relax. You had almost forgot how much him, the feel of him and his unique masculine scent felt so right on top of you.

That, was when you no longer could put up the fight against the tears. You didn’t whimper or moan with those tears. They silently fell from your eyes, down your cheeks.

“Oh, fuck. Oh shit.” He sat up and pulled you to him. At this moment, you were too weak to resist. “Baby, I am so sorry.”

Finally, you pulled back and looked at him. “I would have kept on listening to the last track.” You said, you don’t know where it came from but you said it.

“I know.” He exhaled. “I know.”

Moving, things became clearer and clearer still. You began dressing, lastly you pulled on your heels.

He wrapped an arm around you. “I love you, but she is having my baby.”

You, held his arm closer to you. You needed strength to hold onto the girl you were that met him all those years ago. “I love you, too. Good luck, Curt.”

On shaky, legs you walked away, you opened the door. You walked past her, you grabbed a ride home. You took a long, cold shower and then finally pulling your blankets over your cold, wet naked body. You gave yourself up to sleep and didn’t want to wake up.

@rosionis @theblackmaskclub @brookisbi @johallzy @foreverhockeytrash @frostypenguinoz @impairedmuse @unfilteredmoonchild

[fallingprincess]

Ben Hardy x reader

After filming a movie together, during an interview you finally open up about the arrangement Ben and you have.

Words: 1k

If you want to read this chronologically start here

Masterpost

***

"You haven't been here in forever!" Ellen exclaimed as you seated yourself on the couch next to her armchair. She was right. The last time you had been on her show had been last year after your successful Netflix show had aired its last season.

"I know!" you answered with a smile, before reaching out to take a sip of water. "I have missed you."

"I'm honored." the short haired woman in front of you joked back and grabbed her note cards from the coffee table between the two of you.

You had never been particularly fond of interviews, but you couldn't deny that you actually enjoyed Ellen's show as the atmosphere was always relaxed and felt less like a performance and more like two friends hanging out together gossiping.

"You were in a new movie." Ellen read off her cards. "That won an Oscar. Congratulation on that first of all."

"Thank you, thank you. It's been a great experience really. I have never shot a movie before, being part of something so big was incredible." You had said these lines on the promo tour so many times, you didn't even know if you still meant them. Probably. Just the after the movie part was not your favorite. You enjoyed acting and were proud of your role, however being in the public eye was something you couldn't quite get used to.

"Now before we start talking about your upcoming projects, we have to address something a bit different." Ellen began as a picture of Ben Hardy popped up behind the two of you on the big screens.

You rolled your eyes with a smirk. You knew this was going to be asked. Because in the past three weeks of interview after interview you had been asked this question. Every. Single. Time.

"It is rumored that Ben and you are the newest couple on the celebrity it couple list. Do you want to talk about that?"

It was true. After playing lovers in the movie, the rumors just wouldn't stop. During filming, you and Ben had hit it off almost instantly. You shared the same kind of humor and both enjoyed each other's company. However, "Ben and I are not dating." you repeated for the probably tenth time alone this week. It was a Thursday. "Sorry to disappoint."

"You know, it's not that I don't believe you, but actually we have collected a few pictures here. Let's just go through them together." Ellen laughed as the screen switched to a photograph of Ben and you having coffee together. The two of you were sitting on a bench during lunch break while on set. Ben was still in costume even. He was evidently telling a story using both hands as you sat to his left, your legs crossed and laughing along with him.

"Ben is great. But we really are just friends." You tried not to sound annoyed. But you were just so damn tired of it. Maybe today would be the day you'd finally drop the bomb.

Ben and you had talked about it on the phone a few days earlier. He was back in London working on his new project already.

"Just tell them the truth then. I really don't care, (Y/N)." he had said after you had complained once again about the reporters not shutting up about the subject.

And maybe you would. Maybe today you finally would.

"Okay." Ellen continued with a small chuckle. "What about this one then?"

You turned around in your seat to get a better look at yet another picture of you and Ben. You remembered that night. You had gone to a Queen concert together. In the captured moment the both of you were facing the stage lights, his muscular arms tightly wrapped around you from behind. You were leaning against his back as the two of you were screamed the lyrics along with everyone else. It had been a great night. But of course paparazzi just had to take pictures.

"Like I said, we are just really good friends." you repeated once again. The smile on your face hopefully didn't look as forced as it actually was. You were tired. So, so tired.

"Alright. Last one and I promise we will move on after that."

You nodded as you looked at the screen once more. You couldn't hide the small blush that spread across your face as you tried not to smirk. You also remembered that moment. It was the morning after the Oscar's. Ben and you were sitting on the balcony of your hotel room, croissants and coffee on the table between you. Both of you were wearing sunglasses that had been necessary after that hangover. You had your feet pulled up under you as you watched Ben, a cigarette lazingly hanging from his fingers as you lit your own. It looked like a picture taken straight from an earlier century. Just in high quality.

"So Ben is wearing the pants he wore to the Oscar's." Ellen began with a knowing smile. "but he is topless. Because you are actually wearing his shirt."

You watched as a picture of Ben's outfit popped up. "You did some detective work here." you laughed and took another sip of water.

The picture had gone viral so fast, the two of you had not even finished your breakfast yet when your best friend had called you. Still, you liked the picture. You had also liked the night quite a lot, but that was a different story.

"But you are just friends." Ellen repeated your statement from before in a mocking tone.

Yes, you agreed. Today was the day.

You sat up straighter, raising an eyebrow in a knowing smile. "We are just good friends that like to have great sex sometimes."

And with this the crowd erupted in noise.

***

Up next: And they were roommates pt.1

[spacefaegoddess]

The Lightning Thief - Cut Tracks

Listen up.

Camp Half Blood

- okay let me preface this by saying that for some reason this song won’t download so I’m going off the itunes preview

- but wow this song screams Camp Half Blood

- starts with something about how you know you’re at camp if there’s fire or a flood like big mood guys

- “Camp Half-Blood, where only half of us survive! Camp Half-Blood, be glad you’re still alive!” GUYS THIS IS TOO REAL

- it reminds me of that one post comparing CHB and CJ like “yeah you can go to college and live in New Rome at Camp Jupiter so its pretty nice” “WELCOME TO CAMP HALF BLOOD, YOULL DIE WITHIN THE MONTH”

- “this is why no one watches the orientation film” Mr. D never change please, also if that’s a new kid’s orientation to CHB then maybe Mr. D is saving them from intense trauma

Pick a Side 

- I think there was a video of this somewhere, maybe from that live concert where they performed all the song from the show, but man I’m so happy they put this into a final form

- Luke: “we don’t know who stole the bolt” oh sweet baby liar

- Clarisse being ready to fight everyone is fantastic

- “Percy couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag” man I love it when they put book references in there, and even though I’m pretty sure Reyna says it I still love that it’s Clarisse’s line

-”Can’t we just pick flowers and make friendship bracelets” oh Silena no

- Silena: “My mom doesn’t believe in war” Clarisse: “oh yeah? then why does she keep texting my dad?” Luke: “WHOA” this is the content I signed up for

- Luke saying that he hopes Percy completes his quest so that the demigods don’t have to fight a war like.... idk how to feel about this. Is he lying? Does he actually hope that his friends won’t have to fight? Man

- Also Luke telling Silena that they don’t have to fight the gods’ battles like that’s Luke’s entire motivation in one line

- Clarisse and Silena belting “we gotta know just where your loyalties lie” while Luke sings “we don’t have to choose”. I know that the girls are singing it at each other but the fact that Luke is between them and he’s the one who isn’t loyal to the gods or to camp is magnificent. And again Luke saying they don’t have to choose the gods because he’s already chosen against them

- “prissy Percy’s gonna lost his Poseidon adventure!” CLARISSE GIRL

- “well whoever says love is worthless, I’ll pulverize them!” wow Clarisse is already rubbing off on Silena

-I want to know what Luke sings after “It’s their fight” while Clarisse and Silena sing “We’ll make our parents proud, make our voices loud” cause this is a really great moment for Luke’s motives to shine through

- Luke silently singing “I would never help my father” in the background

- All three singing “We’ve got a choice to make, can’t run and hide - you better pick a side” at the same time yet it means something different for all of them. Also it’s Luke finally choosing his side cause I think that’s the first time he sings “pick a side” in the song

- And that harmony at the end? DAM

Try

- okay so like way before the musical was even a thing, there was a video of this song being sung by three people who aren’t in the show, but god it was heartrenching. It’s a little different from the finished product but like Pick a Side, I’m so glad they included this song because it’s so powerful

- the song beginning and ending the same way UGH I LOVE CALLBACKS

- Percy and Annabeth both singing “I already know it, I’ll probably blow it, but I’m going there anyway” THESE KIDS ARE SO STRONG

- this song is so great because as a whole, the musical is kinda upbeat and generally happy except for like Tree on the Hill and kinda Good Kid, but this one shows the main three’s insecurities about the whole adventure. It throws your mind in a whole different direction

- “I may fail you, but it doesn’t mean that I won’t try” I mean come on

- They’re kids. They’re lost and scared and don’t really know what they’re doing, yet they keep pressing on because of each other. They feel like they will fail, but they can all look each other in the eye and say “you know what? at least we have each other and that’s worth it enough for me”

- that small part in the beginning with Percy and Annabeth singing together makes me want a Percabeth duet so bad

- Grover singing “wash my hands of past mistakes” this boy just wants to prove himself so much and Tree on the Hill give me so many feels and just UGH GROVER I LOVE YOU

- Annabeth going from “prove to the gods that I belong” to “I won’t be rejected” is freaking GROWTH

- “He must be protected” GROVER PLEASE

- That three part harmony tho

- “Fight til we’re all in the clear, look my fear in the eye!” do I need to repeat that these kids are so amazingly strong? Because they are

- “The weight of the world’s on my shoulders, like Atlas it’s crushing me down” sick Greek mythology reference bro

- Also during that live concert video I mentioned earlier, they play a cut Annabeth song (which is sadly not here) but it had the Atlas motif too and ugh it gives me all the feels

- okay so the line “we’re not brave, we’re not strong, we’re not soldiers” is a whole thing in itself but it goes so well with the next line

- I wish they had kept the next line the same as the original because it was “but my heart is a drum, and damn does it pound” but now its “my heart’s just a drum and damn does it pound”. I feel like the first one just has something more. Like I might not be brave or strong but I have the heart to get through this

- also in that original video, after the previous thing, Percy sings “I may fail you, I may fail you. If I fail, this will be our last goodbye.” WHY DIDNT THEY KEEP THAT

- “I’m not leaving your side til we find what matters” Annabeth MY GIRL

- “I’m not leaving your side til we’re back home” GROVER

- “I’m not leaving your side til you’re remembered” PERCABETH SHIPPERS HOW WE FEELING TONIGHT

- This trio man. Nothing will ever compare to them

- The fact that the lyrics change from “I may fail you” to “I can’t fail you”

- That last line where they all sing part of the number because they’re in this together now and you literally cannot separate them

- this song is the best and you can fight me on that

In the Same Boat

- or as I like to call it “Grover deals with Percabeth fighting like second graders for five minutes and forty nine seconds”

- this entire song is just a roast fest and Grover suffering

- “wow maybe your mom should’ve totally chilled instead of making monsters that get us all killed” Percy you savage

- Grover’s happy little “ask meeee” he’s so cute

- “I’d like to wrap my hands around that half-blood’s throat” wow guys

- ���I don’t need to heed a talking goat” WOW GUYS

- Grover’s goat noises throughout the song

- “why run from monsters when we can rideeee” Grover baby I love you

- the lyrics change depending on what vehicle they’re in

- “with Anna-BLEH” “and Seaweed Brain” guys just kiss already

- Annabeth insulting Percy about his Rocky Mountains comment and Grover just going “wow that is soooo beautiful” 

- this song is just the original “Drive” and I’m not complaining

- Percy and Grover both yelling “SWEET” while Annabeth suffers

- Percy telling Annabeth she can hike instead of ride the motorcycle

- Percy’s sass when he says “oh, I’m sure that’s irrelevant” gods Chris McCarrell is the Percy we always wanted

- “Athena give me strength so I don’t kill him” Annabeth honey, if anything your mom is gonna strike him down for you

- ANNABETH HAVING HER OWN “DREAM”

- “it’s messed up, but he’s kinda cute” Annabeth you have no idea how relatable you truly are

- “And my head is always stronger than my heart” awwwwwww

- “If only he would say something that was remotely smart” when I tell you I cackled for like five mintues its the truth

- Followed immediately by Percy saying “I got it! The map was upside down” and Annabeth just screaming IS A WHOLE BIG MOOD

- When did Charon turn from a disco diva into a 60 year old smoker

- Annabeth calling Percy sexist like yeah girl call him out

- “They’ll kill each other, or they’ll kiss” likely both, Grover

- “If we’re lucky they’ll end up in an abyss” GROVER NO

- that Mark of Athena reference caught me so off guard, my jaw hit the floor

- Grover happily singing over a Percabeth shouting match

- also I wish I could clearly hear what those two are saying

- idk what’s so funny about Percy saying “perspective” in a awe-filled voice but it killed me

- Grover yelling at them to sing the song because reconciliation

- uhhh Jorrel’s voice??? he makes such a great Grover let me tell you

The Wittlest Minotaur

- this was also in that concert they did

- Kristin Stokes is a gift to this world, that is all

[crowdedimagines]

Lovebug - David Dobrik

an// this was in my inbox at one point, but i can’t find it now! i hope y’all liked this because it turned out SO fucking cute

~

! David’s POV !

“Hey, you guys!” I talk to my camera as I sit in my car, by myself for once. “You guys probably know when I whisper and I’m in my car, that means it’s time to surprise someone!”

I let out a laugh and reach to grab the tickets off of my dashboard.

“Seatgeek actually helped me out with this one. Y/n absolutely LOVES the Jonas Brothers. I’m pretty sure she’s more obsessed with them now than when we were like ten.”

I reach to grab my phone so I can call Y/n to come out here. I’m sitting in my car in my driveway and she’s inside the house, she has no idea I’m just sitting in the Tesla.

“David?” She answers with a laugh.

“Can you come here?”

“Where are you? Aren’t you still in your room?” I can hear the commotion of her getting up from the couch.

“Actually, I’m in the driveway.” I laugh loudly.

“David.” She deadpans, “What are you up to?”

“Nothing! Just come out here.”

I hang up the phone before she can argue with me at all. It takes a couple of minutes before comes out the front door. Her arms are crossed and she has a grumpy look on her face. I turn the camera in her direction, still laughing.

“So, where’s the paintball gun?” She asks, looking around.

“There’s no paintball gun.” I shake my head.

“Well, you already gave me a car, so what are you up to?” She squints pointing between me and the camera still sitting on the dashboard.

I did give her a car. It was a few months ago. She was still driving the crappy car that she drive to L.A when she moved here. The engine failed and was going to be thousands of dollars to fix. Instead, I bought her a new surprise.

“I have a surprise for you.”

“No, David.” She groans, leaning back in her seat. “You need to stop doing this. I’m not that good of friend.”

She ends up laughing at the end of her sentence, which makes me laugh too. I reach down the the side of my door to grab the tickets.

“Surprise.” I say to grab her attention, she reaches out for them and it takes her a couple seconds to figure out what they are.

“David!” She screams my name loudly getting excited, “You did this?”

I nod, not being able to wipe away my smile with how excited she is.

“Thank you so much.”

She reaches forward and pulls me into a hug.

“Yeah.” I say awkwardly.

“David.” She gives me a look, “You need to stop spoiling me.”

“What? It’s just a concert. It’s not that big of a deal.” I shrug.

“It is a big deal! Even if they’re nosebleed seats, it’s a big deal. You knew that this is something that I would really enjoy and you did it for me. That’s why it’s a big deal.”

I smile and look away to try and avoid her seeing the blush on my cheeks. I have liked this girl ever since the day I met her and she is completely oblivious to it.

“You’re going to come with me right?” Y/n asks as we walk back into the house.

“Uhh, yeah? If you want me to.” I scratch the back of my neck.

“Well, of course I do, David!” She pulls me in for a second hug, “Thank you.”

! Y/N POV !

It takes a couple of weeks for it to finally be the concert date. I literally couldn't be more excited for it. It was such a sweet thought on David’s end to realize just how much I would love this. I’m really glad that he decided to come with me. I have had a huge crush on him ever since I met him, but I think he’s oblivious to it because he’s never made a mood.

I’m meeting David at his house so we can leave together.

“David?” I call as I let myself into the house.

“He’s getting ready in his room.” Natalie answers from the couch.

“Ohh, okay!” I sit down next to her to wait.

“You look cute!” She smiles, looking at my outfit.

“Thanks! I’m really excited.”

“David is too! He’s been talking about it constantly!” Natalie laughs.

“Really? I kind of thought I was dragging him along to this.” I laugh.

“No, he’s definitely excited.”

As if on cue, David finally comes out of his room.

“Natalie, do you think that this is okay for-” His eyes find me and he stops talking, “Y/n, you’re here!”

“Yeah, I called your name when I came in.” I look at him with questioning eyes. “You look nice.”

David seems thrown off by my comment.

“Uhh-yeah-uhh-thanks! You look nice too.”

“Thanks?”

Why is he being so weird now?

“Ready to go?” I ask, standing up from the couch.

“Yeah.”

He grabs his keys and we say our goodbyes to Natalie. Once we get in the car and start jamming to music, things are better. Neither of us notice his camera as we dance to a mixture of Abba and the Jonas brothers.

“Ahh!” I cheer as we get out and walk to the venue, “I can’t believe we’re here!”

“I know! I feel like this is gonna be a good concert.”

“Well, duh!” I grab David’s hand so I can drag him inside faster. We manage to find out seats, which are only two rows back from the front.

“David, these seats are insane! I could probably touch Joe if I wanted to.” I scream over the loud music. It’s only his loud laugh that ensures me that he heard me.

The concert is a good mix of their new album and some of their older stuff from years ago. It gets quiet as they start the next song.

“Lovebug!” I grin, turning to David to see his reaction. He’s already looking at me with a smile as well.

I can’t help but sing along to the song that was my favorite in my childhood. I dance around between lyrics and manage to get David to let loose too.

“David, I know that you know the lyrics.” I turn, his hands somehow ended up intertwined with mine.

“Now I'm speechless, over the edge. I'm just breathless. I never thought that I'd catch this lovebug again.” David sings, making me grin.

Without either of us thinking, we lean in. Our lips connect and it’s the spark I’ve been waiting for since I met him. I can feel him smiling which makes me smile against his lips too. The rest of the concert carries on around us, I can hear the lyrics, but I don’t want to ever pull away from his lips. The lights flash all around us and I feel at home in his arms.

“Wow.” David is breathless once we finally separate, his hands are still buried deep in my hair.

The rest of the concert continues, we hold hands the whole time. Every once and awhile, one of us will interrupt the other with a kiss. All too soon, the concert is over, but David and I aren’t too bummed to drive home.

“I can’t believe that that happened.” David and I slowly walk to his front door. We know that as soon as we walk in there will be people there and we’ll have to explain ourselves.

“I’m so glad that it did.” David responds.

“Me too.” I lean forward to pull him in for another kiss.

We walk into the house, dropping each other’s hands as we kick off our shoes.

“Well, well, well.” Zane’s voice calls us out and we both turn to look at him. I wasn’t expecting so many people to be here, especially since David wasn’t Zane, Health, Mariah, Jeff, Carly, Erin, Natalie, and Jason are all in the house. David seems surprised that they’re here too.

“What’s up, guys?” David asks.

“You guys are acting all innocent.” Jeff rolls his eyes.

“What?” I question.

“How long have you guys been hiding it from us?” Jason asks.

“Okay.” David holds his hands out in defense, “What are you guys talking about?”

“You guys are dating!” Erin shouts.

I can feel my face flush and I turn to look at David and his expression matches mine.

“How did you guys even find out?” I ask.

“It’s all over twitter.”

Oh no. David and I both reach for our phones. When we open up Twitter both of our accounts are being flooded with mentions. Pictures and videos of us kissing at the concert, Different angles, different people posting about seeing us there. It’s all out there already.

That’s what the flashes were when we were kissing.

“Shit.” I throw my head back against the couch.

“So, how long have you guys been dating?” Heath asks, a smile on his face.

“Yeah, I mean I totally saw it coming.” Carly admits.

“Me too!” Mariah shouts.

Everyone breaks out on a frenzy of talking about their theories of us being in a relationship. I look to David and he seems just as lost as I am. He reached forward and takes my hand in his. I knew that we would have to go public eventually, but I didn’t imagine that it would only be a couple of hours after getting together.

We talk for a while with everyone to explain that we were never hiding anything and explain the fact that that was our first kiss.

“Damn, that's your first kiss?” Zane asks as he watches the video again.

“Okay, okay, enough.” I laugh, taking his phone away.

Eventually everyone leaves and Natalie goes to bed. It’s well past midnight and it’s finally just David and I.

“So, what do you want to do about this?” I ask.

“Well, nothing to lose at this point.” David reaches for his phone.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“Just wait.” He smirks.

It takes him a minute or two and then I get a notification that I’ve been tagged in a photo by David.

daviddobrik: Kissed her for the first time yesterday

“Baby!” I cheer, looking at his post. He used one of the pictures that the fans took and have been posting.

“Well, there was no point in trying to hide it at this point.” He shrugs, his arm reaches forward to pull me in close.

“Well, I’m really glad you came to this concert.” I laugh, “Just to think, our whole relationship is thanks to the Jonas Brothers.”

I laugh even harder and David just smiles.

“No, I would have told you eventually.” David sits up.

“Yeah, right.” I roll my eyes.

“So much sass. I didn’t know you would be such a sassy girlfriend to me.” He flips us over so he can hover over me.

“Please, that’s part of why you like me. You knew what you were getting in to.”

“Yes I did. I am more than glad to have you as my sassy girlfriend.”

He leans down to press a quick kiss to my lips.

“You’re my lovebug.”

“You’re my lovebug too.”

~

an// if you don’t get his post caption, honey you need to go listen to the song

[songwritingswift]

folklore First Impressions

1.      the 1

I instantly loved the nostalgic feel, created by the warm and gentle production. It had gorgeous lyrics with beautiful imagery and the melody felt easy and natural; I was singing along by the end of my first listen. It was instantly a favourite.

You know the greatest films of all time were never made // You know the greatest loves of all time are over now

2.      cardigan

This one felt darker and a little more jaded with slightly more chaotic production. But it still had a warmth to it; it reminded me of a fire on a winter evening. The lyrics were detailed with more beautiful imagery.

I knew I’d curse you for the longest time

Chasing shadows in the grocery line

3.      the last great american dynasty

This one has such an expansive, detailed story and I just loved the idea of this truly shameless woman but I didn’t personally connect to the song until it flipped and the story turned personal and then I was grinning like an idiot. The production felt very fitting with the story being told and again, the detail (and wide vocabulary) made for a great song.

Who knows, if I never showed up what could’ve been

There goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen

I had a marvellous time ruining everything

I had a marvellous time

Ruining everything

4.      exile feat. Bon Iver

This is the collaboration I never knew to hope for. Bon Iver has a gorgeous voice and I just loved the two opposite sides, telling their story both in concert and over each other in a way that only intensified an already incredibly emotive song. It was an instant favourite and had me sobbing on the first listen. The lyrics were absolutely stunning and while I loved pretty much all of them, I really loved the first and final lines of the main chorus. There was just something about it that hit me square in the chest.

I think I’ve seen this film before

And I didn’t like the ending

I’m not your problem anymore

So who am I offending now?

You were my crown

Now I’m in exile seeing you out

I think I’ve seen this film before

5.      my tears ricochet

The vocals in this one were particularly gorgeous and the lyrics were gorgeous and rich, kind of reminding me of velvet and stately rooms. The story is a mystery but beautifully detailed and I’m looking forward to listening over and over again until I understand it better.

I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace

‘Cause when I’d fight, you used to tell me I was brave

And if I’m dead to you why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name

Wishing I’d stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet

6.      mirrorball

I instantly loved the guitar sound and I just loved the lyrics, how fragile they were but still so full of hope for love. It had some really beautiful lyrics and somehow, the whole song – lyrics, melody, and production – sounded just like a mirror ball.

Hush

I know they said the end is near

But I’m still on my tallest tiptoes

Spinning in my highest heels, love

Shining just for you

7.      seven

I found this one a bit hard to follow but it had real character and some beautiful lyrics. I also really loved the relationship between the characters in the song.

Please picture me

In the weeds

Before I learned civility

I used to scream

Ferociously

Any time I wanted

8.      august

This one just sounded like a hazy summer day to me and the story was just so clear. The production was full and glorious and again, I loved the relationship between the two characters and the obvious complexity of their relationship, even though we don’t know who they really are or if they’re real at all.

And I can see us twisted in bedsheets

August sipped away

Like a bottle of wine

‘Cause you were never mine

9.      this is me trying

I was instantly struck by the production: thick and stunning and emotional. And I loved the reverb on the vocal and how it added to the emotion of the song. It was a favourite straight away, with gorgeous lyrics and imagery, and it was so honest and vulnerable in its simplicity. I just wanted to close my eyes and live in it. I found the rhythm of the bridge a little bit jarring but I’m sure I’ll get used to that with more listening. It seemed more real than some of the others. I’m not sure why but some of them just seemed more real.

I just wanted you to know

That this is me trying

I just wanted you to know

That this is me trying

At least I’m trying

10.    illicit affairs

It took me a while to get into this one – I found the verses lyrically beautifully but the rhythms tripped me up a little – but I loved the stripped back-ness of it. I loved the chorus lyrics and I adored the bridge: the pain and the fury in it were just so real, so brutally honest and vulnerable.

And you wanna scream

Don’t call me kid

Don’t call me baby

Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me

You showed me colours you know I can’t see with anyone else

Don’t call me kid

Don’t call me baby

Look at this idiotic fool that you made me

You taught me a secret language I can’t speak with anyone one else

And you know damn well

For you I would ruin myself

A million little times

11.    invisible string

I thought this one told a really lovely story with both tongue-in-cheek lyrics and beautifully sincere ones. But I didn’t like something about the production of the vocal, something that made it a little uncomfortable to listen to.

A string that pulled me

Out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar

Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire

Chains around my demons

Wool to brave the seasons

One single thread of gold tied me to you

12.    mad woman

Definitely the biggest oh-my-god of the album. I kind of wanted it to be a huge, relentless wall of sound but I think the calm, beautifully honed steel approach is probably more effective, given the subject matter (whether you believe it’s about Scott Borchetta, Scooter Braun, or Kanye West). I loved it and loved her refusal to be shamed for being angry. The lyrics were truly awesome and I loved how she went straight for the jugular, all in in an incredibly gratifying demotion.

Does she smile?

Or does she mouth, “fuck you forever?”

13.    epiphany

I found this one hard to listen to because the emotions were so raw but it was beautifully written, a stunning tribute to the people described and their stories. I cried from the first verse until long after the song finished.

With you, I serve

With you, I fall down

Down

Watch you breathe in

Watch you breathing out

Out

14.    betty

I thought this big, busy story was told really well but I didn’t really connect with the characters. I just ended up getting distracted wondering who the characters were, who the songs were about. The production also wasn’t really a style I love but the key change did make me smile.

But if I showed up at your party

Would you have me?

Would you want me?

Would tell me to go fuck myself

Or lead me to the garden?

15.    peace

This is, I think, one of the most beautiful, vulnerable, honest love songs I’ve ever heard. It reminds me of wedding vows, of all of the promises she’s willing to make but then asking him if they’re enough to outweigh the hard times. She lays everything bare and I think that’s part of what makes the song so special. The production is also simply gorgeous (even though I would’ve loved a big, glittering bridge but I get that that’s not how this genre or style seems to work). It was another real favourite and I was a puddle of tears by the end.

Our coming of age has come and gone

Suddenly this summer it’s clear

I had the courage of my convictions

As long as danger is near

And it’s just around the corner, darlin’

‘Cause it lives in me

No, I could never give you peace

16.    hoax

This one feels intricately connected to ‘peace’ somehow: a darker but still painfully honest, vulnerable love song. Having said that, I could be completely wrong. I don’t feel like I fully understand it with just one listen because there are just so many lyrics and metaphors and emotions to unpack but I’m looking forward to listening to it over and over again and sharing theories with other fans until I understand it better. But back to the song, the beautiful lyrics are only accentuated by the simple production. It ends the album on a very complex note, which isn’t something she traditionally does.

You know I left a part of me back in New York

You knew the hero died, so what’s the movie for

You knew it still hurts underneath my scars

From when they pulled me apart