#I go through the five stages of grief whenever I watch an old movie that is considered a classic | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

readyplayerhobi · 5 years ago

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Silver Bells and Cockle Shells

; Widower Single Dad!Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Angst, fluff, smut

; Word Count: 22.2k

; Warnings: Mentions of death, grief, depression, insinuated blowjob and car sex, penetrative sex, masturbation, fingering

; Synopsis: Jung Hoseok has three beautiful daughters whom he loves more than anything in the world; Soo-ah, Ji-eun and Ji-soo. For five years now, it’s been only them and him against the world. But what happens when he wants to bring someone new into their lives?

; A/N: Hello, this is something I just randomly got in my head. Was meant to be a drabble...ha, evidently not. I half edited this but full honesty, I got bored and just wanted it out! If you like it, pleeeease reblog it! Leave me lovely comments and feedback, send asks and like it! I hope you enjoy this and that...it’s not boring or anything ;-;

; Sequel - Sleigh Bells Ring

“Soo-ah!” Hoseok cursed, frowning deeply as he bent over and picked up the toothbrush she’d carelessly dropped to the floor after she’d brushed her teeth for bed. “Pick up your stuff after yourself!”

Sometimes he felt like he spent half his day chasing around after his daughters to put his house back together. Honestly, going to work could be classed as a relief at this stage in his life. Pausing for a moment, he stared at himself in the finger printed mirror before letting out a deep sigh and rolling his eyes.

He was too young to be thinking like that. At only 33, he was pretty sure that he should only just be experiencing the stress he’d endured for the past ten years. His friends certainly were only just beginning to understand what he’d gone through.

Already, Jimin had started whining about how tired he was with his newborn son which was making Namjoon start to blanch whenever they met up and the conversation started. His own wife was due in three months and Hoseok was looking forward to being as smug as humanly possible whenever the younger man complained himself.

They’d all had to endure years of Namjoon saying it can’t be that bad and encouraging them all to simply remain calm and all that bullshit he spouted in his daily role as a psychiatrist. It had made Hoseok want to hiss fire at him when the man had no concept of trying to cope with two colicky babies alongside a five-year-old who tantrumed over the wrong breakfast cereal.

The man had it coming, Hoseok swore. A small, sinister part of him was hoping that Namjoon’s baby would be the antichrist but then he pushed that thought away. In actuality, he hoped that Namjoon and his wife would have the most pleasant experience as parents.

No matter what, he was positive it would be better than his own experience.

Putting the toothbrush back into its place, he crouched down to grab the cleaner and sprayed the mirror in an even coating, placing the bottle back before grabbing a cloth and wiping the mirror clean. It was stupid, but the pristine surface soothed a part of him that screamed out at the sheer tornado of chaos his children caused.

His love for his daughters was infinite and he would happily give up his own life to protect them and ensure their unending happiness; but sometimes he also just wanted to scream in frustration. Sighing heavily, he rests his hands on the counter and looks down into the sink, brows furrowing together once more as he notes the stains of toothpaste spit that has dried on the porcelain and a deep groan runs through him.

A full clean of the house will have to be done this weekend. He’ll have time to do it as his parents are taking the girls to the aquarium and then a movie for the day after a sleepover. And then, after a whole day of cleaning, they would come back to a nice house with everything in its place and it would all go back to looking exactly how it had in the morning within hours.

Rubbing his hand over his face, he licks at his lips and looks back in the mirror. Said hand soon moves to run through his hair, pushing the sleek, black strands out of his face and he notes idly that he needs to get it cut. The sides are getting too long and he scowls slightly, pushing at the hair that should be shaved close to the sides of his head.

Maybe he could take the girls to get their hair done and then ask if the hairdresser would quickly do his as well. They’d be entertained with each other for a while, surely? Or maybe he could run out on Saturday while they’re gone and get it sorted. He did need to go shopping to buy groceries for dinner and it would make sense to do it at the same time. Hoseok had become very adept at finding time to fit multiple things together.

His stomach flipped nervously as he thought about dinner.

If everything went right with the conversation he was about to have with his girls, then Saturday evening would be the first time he would introduce you to them. For five years now, Hoseok had raised his beloved daughters as a single father.

It hadn’t been out of choice.

His eldest daughter, Soo-ah had turned ten-years-old in March this year. She’d been born when he was 23, a surprise pregnancy with his college sweetheart. They’d married a year later and Hoseok had enjoyed four wonderful and happy years with Soo-ah and the woman he’d considered the love of his life, Yoo-jin.

A second pregnancy occurred when they had both been 27; this time it was planned and very much wanted. On October 29th, two beautiful twin girls had been born and Hoseok’s heart had swollen even more with love and affection. Ji-eun and Ji-soo were perfection in human form to him.

October 29th had also been the last day his wife had been alive.

Complications from the strain of birthing both girls had taken his wife from him, and he’d suddenly been alone in the world with three daughters relying on him. Grief had taken a backseat as he’d thrown himself into the three innocent lives that needed him so desperately and it had been the hardest thing he’d ever done.

Crippling depression had hit him hard with the loss of Yoo-jin and sometimes the very sight of his kids had caused him to burst into tears as he’d thought about how she wouldn’t get to see their daughters grow and experience life. It had been even harder with two newborn girls who had demanded every moment of his time and attention, leading to him having to take time off work as a software engineer at first and then work from home once his leave ran out.

What had been even worse though, was that not only was he trying to cope with his own grief but that he also had to cope with Soo-ah’s. She’d been only five-years-old. Her mommy and daddy had gone to the hospital one day and had promised to bring back her baby siblings.

Only daddy and two sisters had come home. She hadn’t understood why mommy wasn’t coming back and for two whole months, Soo-ah started and ended every day asking when mommy was coming home. Everytime, his eyes had watered and his throat tightened as he’d had to tell her that mommy wasn’t going to come home, that she’d gone to the sky to watch after them all.

They say kids understand more than you expect, but it had still taken a long time for her to grasp the concept that her mommy was gone. He hadn’t been able to say that she had died, and he’d broken down the night that she’d turned six. Hoseok had tried to make it a happy and fun time for her, but it had only been five months since Yoo-jin had passed and Soo-ah hadn’t been coping too well.

She’d been happy at the start of her party, accepting her presents from all her friends and her many uncles and aunts who doted on her immensely. Her grandparents had already visited earlier in the day and Hoseok knew that everyone was spoiling her to try and make up for the one thing missing from her day.

Later on, she’d begun to act out and had a tantrum that resulted in the party ending earlier than expected. Hoseok had known that she might exhibit behaviour like this; she was just a child and it was a big emotion for her to compute. The happiness and excitement of everything, combined with seeing the other kids with their mom’s had simply been too much.

When he’d put her to bed that night, giving her lots of extra kisses and cuddles, she’d been quiet and sullen. It had broken his heart and yet again, he hadn’t known what to do. There wasn’t a manual for this.

But what had destroyed him had been what she asked him, her voice tiny and more than a little fragile as she curled up in his arms beneath her Mickey Mouse bedding.

“Mommy’s dead. That’s why she’s not coming home. Right?” How he had got the strength to carry on that conversation with her without falling apart right then and there, he’d never known. But he had. And then he had checked on the twins before falling into his own bed, his pillow soaked with his own tears as pain had eaten at him.

Five years had passed since, and with time it had gotten a little better. His heart no longer aches when he thinks of Yoo-jin and he could talk about her openly with a smile. He made sure to keep her photos in the house for his daughters, reminding them of their mom and letting them know that she loved them. Each of their rooms, the single for Soo-ah and the room that Ji-eun and Ji-soo shared as they refused to sleep apart, was decorated with pictures of Yoo-jin and Hoseok.

It made him sad to know that he had no photos of Yoo-jin and the twins for them, but they’d never asked about her either. They had never grown up with a mom, so they never thought anything of it. Soo-ah had though, and while she had slowly turned back into the happy and loving girl he’d known, he knew that she would never forget her mom.

Nor would he want her to.

But for five years, he’d only limited himself to one-night-stand’s in which both he and the recipient were abundantly clear that there wasn’t going to be anything further. He hadn’t wanted to engage in romance, hadn’t wanted his feelings to get involved. All he had wanted was the relief of an orgasm and the intimacy of another person for a few hours.

His parents had encouraged him to go on a few blind dates in the last two years, and he had done so reluctantly. Even Yoo-jin’s parents had told him that they wanted him to be happy, even if that meant finding someone new to love.

It was hard though. He’d felt disloyal with the first few dates, even if they’d just ended up in casual sex before never seeing each other again. Most of them hadn’t been interested in anything further with a man who had three young daughters. He hadn’t been interested in them once they gave him that opinion.

So he hadn’t bothered mentioning it after, because he simply hadn’t wanted to engage in anything that would involve feelings.

Until you.

He’d met you a year ago, when Jungkook’s wife had brought you to one of his summer barbecue get togethers. It had been before anyone else in their friend group besides from Hoseok and Seokjin had had kids, so it had been deemed a kid free event to allow the parents to kick back and relax.

Yoo-jin’s parents had taken the kids for the day and Hoseok had got to simply be himself for a few hours without having the stress of constantly checking on what his kids were doing. He’d discovered that three children meant three times the amount of potential damage and carnage that could be caused, and minus another parent figure resulted in just overall disaster material.

Hoseok still shuddered in horror whenever he thought of the supermarket experience from two years ago. Even now, he refused to go back there from sheer embarrassment.

But you had simply been there as a friend, and at first he hadn’t even paid attention to you in any way other than simple respect. You’d been sweet and friendly, if a bit shy as it had been obvious that everyone knew each other except for you. Chae-young, Jungkook’s wife, was a colleague of yours and you’d become close through a mutual love of equestrian activities.

At the time, that was as much as he’d known about you alongside your name, age and that you were the manager of a sales team in an office. There hadn’t been any need for him to know more, but by the end of the night he’d been quietly endeared by you.

He hadn’t laughed as much in years, his smile bright and wide on his face while he talked intently with you. For three whole hours, you’d both been in a little bubble of shared mutual interests from tennis to dancing to pop culture. Neither had noticed the subtle glances everyone was giving each other as they watched their friend, who had spent so many years with his light dim and subdued, come to life before their eyes.

Before he’d even realised what he was doing, you had both swapped numbers and he’d enjoyed a few weeks of casual interaction via text. He’d enjoyed the conversation with someone new and had been determined to not let his busy life get in the way.

Even better, you’d already known about his kids and hadn’t been bothered in the slightest. In fact, you’d even been inquisitive and he’d happily discussed them, pride behind every word. The texts had soon turned into phone conversations which soon turned into video chats.

Soon enough, he’d been meeting you for lunch in the city at a cafe that was between both your workplaces. Hoseok hadn’t realised how close Chae-young worked to him until then, and he’d enjoyed his lunches more than he ever had with the easy conversation that flowed between you both.

It was ironic really. He’d spent so long not looking for anything that he didn’t even realise when something wonderful fell right into his lap. And you were wonderful, beyond wonderful.

For the first time in over a decade, Hoseok had gone to bed early to simply lay there, curled up under the covers, while he texted you like a teenage boy with his first crush. And that’s what he’d felt like, even if he hadn’t quite realised it. Every text had made his stomach flip and every call made him breathless with nerves.

He found himself going to the bathroom before lunch, checking over his hair and looks before meeting up with you. Things he saw in the store that reminded him of you found their way into his basket before ending up in your hands, all to see that pretty smile that made him feel so funny.

It had been so long since he’d dated properly, so long since he’d liked anyone in more than just a lust filled euphoria, that he just hadn’t realised what was happening. And it had taken his mom, of all people, to point it out to him.

He’d been at theirs one afternoon, the girls playing in the living room with the toys their grandparents had accumulated over the years while he sat at the island in the kitchen. His mom had been watching him for five whole minutes instead of preparing the meal for that night, observing the way her son smiled and laughed to himself, eyes locked on his screen.

It had made tears come to her eyes when she had realised that she hadn’t seen him like this since Yoo-jin had been alive. She had queried him who he was talking to, causing him to casually say your name without a second thought. And then she had asked him how long he had been dating you, which had thrown him for a loop.

“I’m not dating her. We’re just friends.” He hadn’t even realised he’d said those fateful words out loud, hadn’t realised the meaning of what he’d just said. In his mind, that was exactly what you were. Friends.

Which was why his mom had given me an exasperated smile and a shake of her head. “Hoseok, sweetheart. If you’re not dating her, then you should be. I haven’t seen you this happy in...a long time. Especially not with another woman.”

Hoseok had frozen then, staring down at his phone with a frown as his mother’s words had finally penetrated the shield that he had held so tightly around his heart for half a decade now. The last text you had sent him had been something stupid, but he’d gripped his phone tight as he’d realised she was right. You made him happy, you made him want to try.

And that made him feel guilty.

She’d spent the rest of the afternoon convincing him that it was okay to move on, to truly move on and find happiness with someone else. That night, he’d refrained from texting you as he’d tried to compute his newfound emotions and find a place for them to sit alongside everything else in him.

For so long, he’d thought that Yoo-jin would have been the only woman for him. The woman that he would grow old with, be buried next to and so forth. And then she had died at only 28, and he’d been without her once more. He’d spent years convinced that he should stay loyal to her, after all, they hadn’t broken up.

But as he’d laid there that night, he’d worked through the guilt that wracked him as he’d realised that he didn’t want to be alone anymore. He didn’t want to wake up alone, in a cold bed and come home to only his children. Hoseok loved his kids, he truly did, but he wanted someone that he could talk to, laugh with, argue with if necessary, be intimate with.

He wanted someone to love again, and he wanted to be loved in turn.

Everyone had always said that he had a big heart, always ready to bestow it on whoever had his affections that day. A smile that could light up the sun and so forth. And for five years, he’d only poured love into his daughters because they were all he had.

As he’d gone to sleep that night, he had contented himself with the knowledge that he was no longer happy with his lonely situation. But he planned to do something about it, because he had also realised that he liked you, and he wanted to pour that love into you too if you would let him.

The very next lunch he had with you, he had asked you on a date. His confidence had faltered halfway through as panic had suddenly set in, worry that you wouldn’t want to date a 33-year-old father of three. But you had smiled brightly, face lighting up with such happiness and excitement that he’d been unable to not smile back, before eagerly accepting.

That had been six months ago, and he had fallen in love with you slowly every day since.

Despite this though, he had yet to introduce you to the girls. There were many reasons for this and he’d been pleased that you had accepted them all without complaint. The most important reason was because Hoseok hadn’t wanted to introduce anyone to them if it wasn’t going to end up serious.

It would just hurt them if you broke up and they never saw you again, and he wasn’t ready to impart that kind of emotional turmoil on his little girls. Secondly, he hadn’t wanted to pressure you into doing anything with his kids when you didn’t have to. You weren’t their mom, nor were you looking to be and he didn’t want to force that role on you.

He’d wanted you to feel comfortable enough to finally meet them, and he’d wanted to feel comfortable enough in his relationship for you to meet them. But also, he’d just wanted to enjoy you to himself without the interference of children.

Hoseok loved his kids, he would never give them up and his whole life revolved around them really. Yet his relationship with you was the first thing in five years that he’d had solely to himself, untouched by their presence. He felt selfish thinking that way, but he’d just wanted to enjoy you a little longer without the pressure of parental expectations.

After six months though, he’d finally decided that it was time. It had been a huge decision, and he’d agonised over it a few weeks before finally talking it through with you. He’d had to be sure that you even wanted to meet them, because as worried as he was for how his daughters would react to you, he couldn’t even imagine what it must be like for you.

You’d started dating him in the knowledge he had three kids, but knowing and actually seeing and being a part of those small lives was entirely different. Most women probably didn’t start dating someone with a ready made family, and he’d stressed a little over that.

Dating him seriously meant you would be directly involved with his daughters. He didn’t want you to think that he wanted a second mom for them, because he didn’t and he doubted his daughters wanted that either, but it would be hard for you to avoid some parental activities.

And that wasn’t even thinking about whether or not you actually wanted children in the future. There was a chance that you might think he might not want more kids because he already had three, but you had none. Overall, it had taken a lot of thinking before he’d finally proposed the idea of introducing you.

He wanted to be able to bring you home, cuddle up with you on the couch after a long day without having to worry about the girls finding out. Eventually move onto you staying the night, hopefully one day in the future even moving in together. He had kids, yes, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t have a relationship like everyone else.

Hoseok wanted to give you as normal a relationship as he could, despite the three extra people he came with as standard.

You’d been sweet about the whole thing though, consoling him and letting him know that you were supportive of whatever decision he made. There weren’t enough words in the English language for him to convey how much he appreciated how easy-going you were about it all and he’d just fallen even harder for you.

It was a little odd really, how quickly he’d realised he loved you. Admittedly, he’d spent months without even realising he liked you, but he’d told you those three special words within three months. He’d taken half a year to tell Yoo-jin, and he wasn’t sure what that meant. If it meant anything.

But all of this was completely moot if his girls decided they didn’t want to meet you. They were allowed that decision, and Hoseok was fully prepared to love you separately for a while until they got used to the idea. He didn’t want to, but he wouldn’t force someone onto them if they didn’t want it. Nor was he willing to break up with you solely for that reason.

He loves his daughters, but he refuses to let them rule his life entirely. Just as he works hard they’re happy, he knows that he’s entitled to happiness himself.

Pushing away from the counter, he takes a deep breath before heading into the twin’s room. The bathroom was the one all the girl’s shared while he had his own thanks to the en-suite. Something he was positive that he was going to be very thankful for when they all hit teenage years.

The twin’s room was pure chaos, as expected. He’d long since given up trying to keep this room tidy. Instead, he would simply go through once a day and make it look less like a bomb had gone off in it.

There was plenty of room in the house for them to have a room each, there were actually two spare bedrooms in this ridiculously large house he’d bought with Yoo-jin years ago. It had been cheap purely because it had needed to have a lot of stuff fixed in it, but over the years he’d worked with both friends and family to turn it into the family home it was today.

But splitting the twins up had proven to be an unthinkable act. He’d tried it once when they were four and they’d screamed and cried for hours before going quiet. Thinking they were asleep, he’d gone to check on them only to discover that Ji-eun had gotten out of her bed and was curled up in Ji-soo’s bed.

The very next day, he’d moved her stuff back into the room and they’d been content ever since. Twins were funny, he mused to himself as he watched them both lying beneath Ji-eun’s Iron Man bedding, his iPad in Ji-soo’s hands as they both watched a movie.

He had refused to let them have an iPad, even a joint-owned one as he didn’t want to end up being that dad whose kids spent all their time on a screen. Even now, they were limited to only two hours of screen time a day. Soo-ah was the same, only she was allowed to use the computer to do her homework when necessary as well.

It caused them to whine a lot but he instead encouraged them to play, read books or even use the board games he’d bought. Thankfully, they were pretty happy with it despite the minor whining but he knew that his policy was going to have to change soon. Particularly for Soo-ah.

“Hey you two, how are my little pumpkins?” He said with a bright smile as he crouched down next to the bed. Two sets of identical eyes flicked over to him, their warm chocolate depths filled with sleepiness and fondness swelled in him.

“Hi daddy,” Ji-soo whispered, the tiny mole on her cheek being the only way to distinguish her from her younger sister. Her black hair shone with health in the warm light of the Avengers lamp on the bedside table and Hoseok reached out, stroking the flyaway strands down. Ji-eun was too busy watching the iPad and he smiled, resting his head on the bed next to them both and watching quietly.

There was only a few more minutes until it was over, and he took the tablet from them before switching it off and placing it next to him on the floor. The door creaked open and all three looked over, taking in Soo-ah’s frown as she looked at her sisters and dad.

He’d asked her to come into the twins room once she’d gotten into her pyjamas and he grinned at her mismatching clothes. A Mickey Mouse t-shirt was combined with Batman bottoms but he chose not to say anything as she flipped her long, black hair behind her shoulder in a movement that reminded him so strongly of Yoo-jin.

The twins were growing to look like him, but Soo-ah was all Yoo-jin. It was a soft ache sometimes to look at her, but it just made him love her all the more.

Gesturing to her with an open arm, she tucked herself into his side where he knelt and he kissed the crown of her head with a loud ‘mwah’, enjoying the way she wiggled and whined in protest. She was reaching the age where affection from him was met with embarrassment but he didn’t care.

“Are you all excited to go to grandma and grandpa’s tomorrow?” All three of them nod, excitement lighting up their eyes and he has to bite his inner cheek to stop the grin that wants to paint itself onto his face. His parents spoil them, they truly do. He has no doubt when he picks them up on Saturday that they’ll have eaten their weight in sugary goods and will likely have another toy each.

“Good, they’re looking forward to having you too. I want you all on your best behaviour, yeah?” Each little girl gives another nod and he goes soft with pride for them all. They were truly the most important things in his life and he squeezed Soo-ah a little tighter in response.

“So...err,” He paused, brow creasing as he realised that he didn’t know how to go about this. “On Saturday, we’re going to have dinner with someone. She’s...she’s someone very special to daddy.”

“Is she your girlfriend?” Ji-soo asks innocently, her eyes filling with curiosity and he smiles in response, running his fingers through her hair once more before nodding.

“Yes...she is. I...she’s been daddy’s friend for a while now, and daddy really likes her. So...I want to make sure that you all are okay with that? I don’t want to bring her if you’re not going to be happy.” This is possibly one of the most awkward he’s things he’s done in a while but he preserves, hoping that his daughters will understand and accept.

“Do you love her?” Ji-eun asks and Hoseok freezes, his eyes widening. He feels it’s far too soon to confirm that for them when he’s only just telling them so he shakes his head instead, leaning over to kiss her forehead.

“I like her a lot. She makes me very happy and I want you all to get to meet her. She’s excited to meet you if you want to. But it’s only if you want to.” There’s silence for a few moments more before the twins nod enthusiastically with smiles that resemble his own so much.

“Okay daddy.” They both respond at the same time, causing him to chuckle as that odd twin telepathy happens again. It weirded him out sometimes but it mostly just made him glad that they had each other.

Soo-ah hasn’t responded and he looks down at her, noting the way her eyes are downcast and her body is tight. His heart sinks slightly, knowing that she was going to be the one that he had the most trouble with.

She was the one who remembered her mom, who vaguely remembered scenes of her mommy and daddy hugging and kissing, whispering they loved each other. It was always going to be the hardest with her, and he wondered how long it would take for her to accept it. If she ever did.

But then she surprises him with a slight shrug, her fingers tracing unseen shapes into his jean covered thigh, her lips pursed out in a tiny pout. “Okay dad.”

Her tone isn’t nearly as enthusiastic as the twins and he frowns slightly, kissing the twins goodnight and turning the lamp off before he gently encourages Soo-ah out of the room. She doesn’t speak on the way to her own bedroom, the interior of this room a soft purple that’s decorated with numerous horse posters.

Without a word, she climbs into her bed and curls up with her back to him underneath the covers. His heart clenched tightly as he sits down next to her, the mattress dipping and causing her to roll slightly towards him. Neither says anything for a moment as he simply runs his fingers through her hair gently, enjoying the way it feels and thinking about how big his little girl was getting.

“Soo-ah? Are you really okay with it? It’s okay if you’re not,” He whispered, looking away from her to the bookcase opposite him that’s filled to the brim with books. “She’s nice, I think you’ll like her. She goes horse-riding and knows so much about them.”

“What about mommy?” And there it is, the very thing he was looking forward to least. His breath leaves him in a deep and heavy sigh while his head drops down momentarily as he tries to put his thoughts together into cohesive speech. This is all very new and alien to her and he’d always known it was going to be a tougher sell to her than the twins. They’d only ever had daddy, she’d had both.

“Mommy is still here with us Soo-soo, she’s not being forgotten. I still love her so much and I know that she still loves you. Y/N isn’t going to replace mommy, I swear.” Soo-ah stays curled up, her body tight and he grits his teeth, hating that he had to go through this with her.

“What if you fall in love with Y/N and forget about mommy? I don’t want another mommy. What if she’s mean? What if she hates us and tells you that she doesn’t want us?” Wow, this is way more questions than he’d anticipated from merely asking if they’d be okay with meeting you but he got the suspicion that these were things Soo-ah had worried over for the last few years.

Which meant he had to go very carefully, otherwise things could go very wrong.

“You’re not going to get another mommy, I don’t want that for you. You had one mommy, and you always will. Y/N doesn’t want make you unhappy, she’s not expecting you to love her or treat her like a mom. She also doesn’t hate you and she would never tell me make me choose. She’s known about you all the whole time I’ve known her and she’s excited to meet you all. I’ve told her so much about my smart girls. And she’s not mean. She’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. I wouldn’t bring someone into your life that I didn’t trust and like. I swear Soo-soo.”

She’s quiet for a moment longer before shrugging again, her body relaxing as she lets out a deep sigh. “Okay,” His shoulders relax as he senses the acknowledgement in that one word. “I love you daddy.”

Biting his lip, he knows that she’s still not entirely okay with it and he also knows that he’s going to have to be very careful on Saturday. He loves Soo-ah, but he knows that she can be temperamental around things like this, with valid reason, obviously. But he also knows that she doesn’t really know what to think, hence her calling him ‘daddy’, something that she hadn’t done for 3 years now.

“I love you too Soo-soo.” Bending over, he kisses her head goodnight before leaving her room too, resting his back against her door as he lets his head fall back and a deep sigh leaves him. He hopes you know how much he truly loves you with how willing he is to let you into his life, because for him and his little family, this is the biggest earthquake to strike since the death of Yoo-jin.

Only this time, he hopes that that result afterwards would be happy instead of painful.

Hoseok lets out a happy groan of delight as he bites into the greasy pizza, the tangy cheese contrasting wonderfully to the meaty pepperoni and rich tomato base. It tastes far too good and a voice in the back of his mind tuts at the wilful carbs he’s adding into his body. He’s not as young as he once was and keeping off the weight was beginning to be a little harder nowadays, but he pushed that thought firmly away.

You liked his body, even if he wasn’t as toned as he had been ten years ago. But whatever, you weren’t dating 23-year-old Hoseok and 33-year-old Hoseok didn’t give a damn when the pizza tasted this fucking good.

A light chuckle sounded from his right and he glanced over, finding you watching him with amusement dancing in your eyes while a bemused smile played on your lips as you chewed on your own slice of pizza. Once you’d realised that you’d caught his attention, you swallow your piece before leaning over to wipe at the grease on his lips with undeniable affection and his stomach felt a little bit fuzzy.

He was being honest when he said that you made him happy, because you really did. In fact, he was pretty sure that this was the happiest he had been in five years and sometimes he got a little sappy and emotional about it. So long had been spent purposefully isolating himself for his daughters that he hadn’t really understood what he was missing out on again.

But, he conceded to himself, he was glad of that as well. Because he wouldn’t have started a relationship with you if he’d started dating earlier. So he was content with his earlier decisions, content with you.

Having kids and losing a wife had really turned him way more emotional than he’d used to be, but he reasoned that it was okay. He’d just learned what it was like to lose something he loved dearly, and he had spent years regretting not loving Yoo-jin more fiercely. Which was why he was determined to make sure that you knew exactly how much he loved you, for however long you both lasted.

He would not make the same mistake twice.

“Enjoying that?” You ask him, expression mischievous as you take the pizza crust he hands you and start to eat it with a joyful hum. Hoseok simply watches for a moment before nodding with a grin.

“Do you know...how nice it is to get to eat junk food?” A snort leaves you as you roll your eyes, shifting until your back is against the cushion on the couch and you pull your legs up. You’re only wearing some bed shorts and an oversized logo shirt with the Star Wars logo on it, both faded from overwashing but still comfortable.

“Am I supposed to feel sorry for you? You’re the one who chooses the meals in your house. If you want junk food, then just eat junk food.” The way you say it is completely casual but Hoseok gasps in mock outrage, a hand resting on his chest.

“How rude! You’re supposed to be complimenting me on how wonderful of a father I am because I make sure my daughters are eating the healthiest food! Did you know, we haven’t had chocolate in our house for over a year now? Only health snacks allowed.” A droll stare is all he gets in response and he squirms slightly, trying his hardest not to let his lower lip pout out.

You were two years younger than him and also childless, yet sometimes he felt like you were the older one and also the parent.

“Blatantly false. I distinctly remember you eating a Kit Kat the other week in bed when we facetimed. I thought lying was bad Hobi?” You’ve got him there and he finally lets his lips purse before he chuckles in defeat, nodding his head.

“Okay fine, we have one day of junk food a week. But they’re not allowed anything unhealthy unless they’ve done something really good, like got a really good grade or done some chores around the house. Me on the other hand...well, let’s say I might have a secret stash hidden somewhere in the house that little girl’s can’t reach.” His hand waves airily as he speaks and you burst into laughter, reaching out with one foot to push at his thigh.

Without even thinking about it, he lowers his hand to rest on your leg and runs his fingers along your skin affectionately. There’s no pizza left anymore and instead he focuses on sliding his hands along your calf, digging into the muscles there and massaging gently until you let out a soft sigh.

Silence falls between you both, the comfortable kind where neither of you feels the need to speak. The television is playing some Netflix Original series while the lingering scent of pizza still fills the air.

He’d come over to yours for the night, enjoying the fact that he was actually able to spend the whole night with you. His parents had asked to have the girls last week tonight and he’d agreed happily, knowing that it meant he could spend more time than usual with you. Staying over was only possible when the girl’s were not home, and that was pretty rare.

Your apartment was pretty small, the size dictated by what you could afford in combination with the car you had and the salary you earnt. But he liked it all the same. It was filled with a combination of pop culture in the form of figurines and plushies everywhere alongside beautiful paintings that hung on the walls or elegant photographs of landscapes.

Candles dotted the area, a few lit to fight the pizza scent with vanilla and he smiled as he felt himself relax both physically and mentally. There was no hint of children here, no toys thrown around or crayons half hidden underneath furniture. He obviously loved his kids but sometimes it was nice to just...have somewhere that didn’t look like Toys R Us had thrown up in it.

In actuality, he found dating as an adult slightly odd. The last time he’d properly dated had been with Yoo-jin, and that had been over ten years ago. He’d been a student when they’d got together, only 21 and he’d had a young adult’s mindset to go with it too. At the time, all he cared about was his grades, partying, getting drunk and getting laid.

Not necessarily in that order.

Okay, definitely not in that order.

A job, taxes, bills, childcare, children and so forth hadn’t even entered his head really. Dating back then had simply meant meeting up with Yoo-jin after class and going back to the apartment he’d shared with Yoongi and Namjoon, fooling around for a few hours before crashing in bed. Maybe going to a party or actually doing his homework.

The most stress he’d had was exam period, or maybe that time he forgot to hand in his term paper and he’d been handed his ass by Professor Lee in History of Medieval Europe. That hadn’t been fun.

Dating had been almost...relaxing with how carefree it had been. How unburdened with the stress and realities of life.

Dating now was far different. Now he had to fit in his dates with you in his lunch breaks or the rare evening he could get someone to watch the girls. Talking was relegated to when they were in bed and a lot of the conversations often ended up being about world events or problems with a job or co-worker. It felt mundane and if he thought about it, boring, but he oddly didn’t mind.

Being with Yoo-jin in the early stages had been exciting and fun, dates being extravagant and wild. Being you was different. In Yoo-jin, he’d sought excitement but with you he sought comfort and quiet. A way to simply be Jung Hoseok, the man, again instead of being Jung Hoseok the father or colleague.

He felt a little sad that he didn’t get to experience the wildness with you, but then again, he felt far too tired for that anyway. It was only 8pm and he was already contemplating asking if you wanted to go to bed. Not even for sex, but just because he was tired.

Though he wouldn’t say no to sex.

That was definitely something that he’d discovered was perhaps even better than with Yoo-jin, which he’d felt a little guilty about at first. Sure, he perhaps couldn’t go as often as he had when he was 21 but it was just...better.

Both of you were far more experienced and knew exactly what you liked and didn’t like in the bedroom, and you were both mature enough to be honest and open about it. He’d been mortified to find out that he hadn’t actually given Yoo-jin an orgasm for six whole months because she’d been too shy to tell him whereas you’d told him exactly what to do for the very first time you’d slept together.

He’d been a little shocked actually, but it had resulted in perhaps the best sex he’d had in a long time. Particularly for two people who had never had sex with each other. And yet it had; he’d never felt such an intense and emotional connection with someone before and it had even frightened him a little bit, made him feel disloyal because he couldn’t ever remember Yoo-jin like that.

It had taken a quiet discussion with Namjoon over his guilt to realise that the sex was probably better because you were the first person he’d slept with that he’d been friends with beforehand, who he’d fallen for long before. Yoo-jin had been a one night stand that had turned into something more, but he’d known you for months.

Sex with you was some of the best he’d ever had, and it blew his mind even more because you hadn’t even had a huge amount of it in the past six months. The lack of time he had for meeting up with you meant that there just wasn’t time for it and so he’d had to fit it in where he could.

For the first time in well over ten years, he’d actually had freaking car sex. And it was not as pleasurable as he remembered. His cheeks flushed as he recalled that incident vividly. It was perhaps not his best moment sexually, but you’d both handled it so well.

it hadn’t even ended in an orgasm because you’d got cramp from bending over and he’d hit his head against you when he’d jerked forward in worry. It had ended up with you back in the passenger seat and giving him a blowjob while he’d felt guilty as hell over not being able to properly reciprocate.

But even that had proven how compatible you were with each other as only minutes later, with his cum still dripping down your face from where you’d overestimated your deep throating abilities and practically coughed it all back up, the two of you had been giggling like teenagers at the failed sex.

A snort leaves him as he remembers it and he shakes his head in response to the look of query you give him, tugging at your leg until you give in and move over to him. He smiles in victory as you curl into his side, your warmth pleasant against him while he wraps his arm around you comfortably, pressing his lips to your head and simply taking the smell of you in.

You smelt like the perfume he’d bought you for your birthday last month, a fruity candy scent because that’s what you loved above all else and he loved it. It made him want to eat you, and he felt a stirring in his groin as he considered doing just that.

“Are you sure they’re okay about tomorrow?” Your voice is soft and quiet but he can hear the insecurity behind it. He understands why. The two of you had made sure to have an in depth conversation about what would come about from you being introduced to his daughters.

You’d known that it would mean sometimes you would come to his place which would mean interacting with them on a personal level. Dates would sometimes end up being family events and they would come in tow. Quite simply, the longer you continue to date and the more the two of you settle into your relationship, the more integrated you would become into his own family.

He could hardly date you seriously and never include you with his own family. Particularly if he ever hoped to move you in one day. No, you would need to know what you were getting yourself into and needed to be accepting of that.

Just as he didn’t want to force something on his daughters, he didn’t want to force a family on you.

As much as he said to Soo-ah that you wouldn’t be replacing her mom, it would be impossible for you to not take on some mother aspects for them. Firstly, it just wouldn’t be fair to be in a long term relationship with him and never expect to do anything with his kids considering how young they were.

Secondly, you were a kind and nurturing person anyway. He had no doubt that whenever you eventually moved in, because he was pretty positive that would be happening in the future, you would want to actively try with the girls. How receptive they would be, he didn’t know.

But if you wanted to try with them then he certainly wasn’t going to stop you. If they didn’t want to reciprocate then they wouldn’t have to and he’d make sure that you knew that too.

“Well...I mean they’re only kids, so I can only really take them at what they say. The twins probably don’t understand properly but I don’t expect them to. They never got to be with Yoo-jin so, this is all new to them. For them, the only thing they’ll probably get upset is that daddy will have someone else that he’s going to pay attention to. Soo-ah though?” His tone turns a little unsure without him even meaning to and you wiggle against uncomfortably.

“She’s the one who’s going to be harder to get through to, isn’t she?” Hoseok hugs you tighter to him as the despondency in your voice and he wishes that he could take it away, but you’re right. Soo-ah is the mystery in the whole situation and she could make everything perfect or it could all fall apart.

“Yeah. She’s...she’s worried that I’m forgetting her mom or that you’ll try and replace her or something. A valid concern for her to have, but I think it’s going to take a while for her to come round to it. To everything really. To you being in our lives, to me loving someone else. It’s going to be hard on her and I wish I could make it better for her but...I can’t. I’ll just have to work with her and show her that being with you isn’t going to mean that Yoo-jin didn’t exist.”

You push up from him at that, a hand resting on his thigh and he looks deep into your eyes for a moment. He sees love for him there but also concern for his daughters combined with uncertainty for yourself and he can’t stop himself as he leans forward, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“I don’t want to take the place of their mom. Especially not for Soo-ah, I can’t even imagine what she went through and...that’s not what I want. I’ll try ready hard with them, I will. I swear. And I won’t get too offended or upset if they get angry at me. I know it’s a hard situation for them to get used to. It’s just been you four for a while now and I’m the interloper.” His heart warms at your words and he hugs you tighter to him, kissing your forehead hard before resting his nose against you.

“That’s why I love you. You know that? Because you care and you don’t push. I appreciate that so much. They’ll come around to it, even if they’re not happy at first. I don’t expect them to be happy, but I can’t be forced to be alone for the rest of my life just because they don’t like it. I...I feel a bit guilty saying this but...I deserve to be happy too.” A soft brush of your lips against his neck lets him know that you agree and his racing heart settles a little.

He’s nervous for tomorrow, yes, but he knows that he’s right. It’s been years of loneliness and now he’s finally ready to accept someone else. And he knows that his daughters would come to like you just as much as he does. Hoseok doesn’t expect them to love you, and he never would, but he hopes that they’ll at least come to like you.

“Anyway, let’s not focus on that right now. We’ve got that bridge to cross tomorrow. Tonight is just me and you, the last night of it being just us,” His brows wiggle suggestively and you roll your eyes in response, lips quirked up in amusement. “How about we take this to the bedroom?”

An unladylike snort leaves you as you push up from him, grabbing the pizza box and heading over to the kitchen to throw it away as he turns off the television.

“Really? You want sex already?” The exasperation in your voice causes to throw a look of outrage at the kitchen door but you’re not there to experience it so he just grins instead, grabbing both your phones and heading over to your bedroom.

“I just meant going to sleep you horndog! God, I thought men were supposed to be the ones who always thought about sex?” He calls out, biting his lip in amusement as he plugs your phone into the charger by your bed and places it on the bedside table.

The screen lights up momentarily and he grins as the lockscreen image pops up; it’s of him kissing your cheek in a park. It had been one sunny lunch and the cherry blossoms had been out in force, providing the perfect backdrop for a perfect picture.

He jumped in surprise, letting out a yelp and dropping his own phone onto the table with a clatter as two hands grip his ass firmly before they slide round to his stomach, wrapping him in a tight hug while you giggle and press kisses to his back.

“How can I not think about sex when my boyfriend is this hot?” The pink painting his cheeks is slightly embarrassing but he can’t stop the primal flush of pride at your compliment and he wants to roll his eyes at himself.

Turning around, he looks down at your pretty face and bends down to press his nose against yours in a butterfly soft kiss before catching your lips with his for a proper kiss. His arms move to wrap around you in turn, holding you tightly to him and for a few minutes, he just focuses all his efforts into exploring your mouth in a slow yet sensual kiss.

By the time he’s finished, you’re slightly breathless and he admires the dazed look in your eyes, lips swollen and the stirring in his groin he’d felt earlier becomes even more insistent. Perhaps too insistent given the way you look down at his crotch with a raised brow before glancing back up, biting your lip.

“You might want to go to bed but I want you, so how about it daddy?” He pauses, looking at you with a carefully blank face.

“As long as you never call me that ever again then sure. I think I can forego sleep for a little while longer,’ he grins broadly before stepping back. “So undress for me princess. Let me see how hot my girlfriend is.”

“Yes sir.”

“Oh...now that...I like.”

Waking up the next morning was surprisingly nice and he simply laid there for a few minutes in the quiet, taking in the way your scent saturated everything and how warm the bed felt. When he finally did open his eyes, he was met with the sight of a clock that read 8am.

Surprise flooded him for a second before he stretched out, groaning softly before smiling and simply laying there. He hadn’t woken up as late as 8am in years and it felt freaking glorious. Half of him wanted to roll over and simply go back to sleep, but he knew that his body wouldn’t let him now that he’d opened his eyes.

You on the other hand, were curled up in a ball next to him beneath the covers, your back facing him. A few ideas ran through his mind, wondering whether he should just get up and go shower or if he should spend some more time with you.

Time with you won out, as he knew it would have. He wasn’t going to turn down a morning with you without kids, no way in hell. And so without another thought, he rolled onto his side and curled up behind you, humming contentedly as the warmth of your body seeped into his own.

“Princess...priiincess,” He cooed into your ear, grinning as you shuffled slightly in his arms and let out a quiet croak in response. “Are you awake?”

There was no doubt about it, he was being a little shit right now and doing the exact thing that he whined at his own kids for doing on the weekend. But he didn’t care, because he found your response far too cute.

“No.” The pout you must have your on your face is abundantly evident and he laughs, pressing a kiss to the back of your neck. He wouldn’t kiss you, because he’d discovered that you really hated kissing with morning breath. Not that he was a fan either, but sometimes he just...wanted to kiss you really bad.

Though sometimes he had regretted it, but he just pushed those thoughts out of his mind. No, he wouldn’t kiss you today. At least...not until you’d both gotten up and brushed those pearly whites until the kiss would be minty fresh from both ends.

Instead, he just squeezed your body tighter to him and let out a quiet sigh of satisfaction. It was easy to forget how nice it was to just lay and cuddle with someone he loved; the warmth of you, the smell of you, the touch of you. It all merged together until he felt himself start to drift off once more, eyes closed and breath levelling out until you suddenly turned in his arms and he jerked awake once more.

An amused laugh left you as you looked up at him, eyes bleary with sleep while pillow lines creased your sleep swollen cheeks and his eyes narrowed playfully. “I thought you were sleeping.” He mumbled, burying his face into the slope of your neck while his hand moved to lay flat on your stomach, fingers stroking absentmindedly.

“Hard to sleep when I’ve got your hard on pressed against me.” Hoseok grunted at that, his fingers darting up to pinch at the nipple that made itself present through the thin material. A yelp left you before you laughed again, taking his hand and trapping it between your chin and shoulder.

“Don’t get too flattered. If I had a dollar for every time I woke up with an erection then I’d probably be just as poor because I’d have spent it all by now. But you get the point.” Your lower lip vanishes beneath your teeth as you hum, brow furrowing slightly.

“Are you saying that you don’t find my sleep face and morning breath attractive?” A snort leaves him as he presses his nose against your cheek, kissing the softness there slowly.

“I find you more than attractive missy, and you know that. I believe this is the first time we haven’t fucked after waking up together.” Pouting, you turn your head until you’re looking directly at him and he ducks his face slightly so that he’s not breathing directly on you. He did that once.

Once.

“Don’t give me that face. The only reason I’m not balls deep in you right now is firstly, because I need to go shower and then head home to clean up and secondly...I don’t have another condom.” Your face contorts on itself before sighing, your hand moving to brush over his boxer briefs and he lets out a hiss of breath as he feels you move against his cock.

“I could suck you off.” It’s almost innocent and he glares at you, lips pursing before he pulls away, rolling to the side and departing the bed before you can entice him any further.

“That’s not...I mean...minx.” You just grin at him before getting up yourself, letting him see the way your shirt has twisted on you in your sleep, clinging tightly to your curves. His hands clench automatically as he huffs out a breath, staring at the sight of your boy shorts that cup your ass so beautifully.

He was trying to be good here and you were ruining all his intentions.

“So...you don’t want a blowjob in the shower then?” There’s not even a chance for him to respond as you tug off your shirt, revealing the delectable sight of your breasts as they’re revealed to the morning air. Without even looking at him, you head towards the bathroom door.

Indecision fills him as he stares at the door, the straining erection in his underwear telling him to go but the logical part of his mind reminding him that he is, in fact, an adult man and not a horny teenager. But then your panties come flying through the door, landing in a heap and he lets out a deep groan before striding over.

He may be an adult, but he’s an adult who damn well likes your mouth on his cock and he is not turning that down. Not today, when later on will be stressful. Right now, it’s time to just enjoy you while he has you entirely to himself.

Inside the bathroom, he finds you merely brushing your teeth at the counter but your eyes move to land firmly on his and he desperately wishes he didn’t find it so weirdly attractive to watch the way your arm moves. But then he realises it’s what you want as your free hand slowly trails down your body, reaching the hair at the apex of your thighs.

Swallowing thickly, he lets out a slow breath before reaching around you for the toothbrush you’d given him to use here and carefully begins to brush his own teeth, trying his hardest not to look. This was not supposed to be a sexy activity, and yet here he was, eyes glued to your hand while his own hand tried to brush his teeth.

A quiet moan slips from your mouth, eyes fluttering shut and your arm shudders slightly, pausing in your movements as the fingers between your thighs work at yourself and he hisses, brushing far quicker in his haste to be done. He doesn’t want you to get all the fun, no way in hell.

Leaning over, he spits out into the sink and is suddenly reminded of all the times you’ve chosen to spit instead of swallow when you’d blown him and he has to repress the urge to giggle. Instead, he washes his mouth and realises you’re doing the same next to him, head so close to his own that he has an almost preternatural awareness of you.

Glancing up into the mirror, his breath escapes in a rush as he sees you bending over the counter, one elbow resting while your other hand moves in slow circles between your legs, now spread wider. Oh, this is just not fair, he thinks to himself before his eyes narrow.

“I thought I was getting a blowjob?” He asks, moving upright and looking down at you with an imperious brow raised.

You watch him with innocent eyes in the mirror, your own brows raising to complete the facade while you bite at your lower lip. “Did I say that? I thought you didn’t want anything.” The last syllable ends on a soft moan and his hands finds your hips without him even meaning to as your eyelids flutter shut, mouth opening in a perfect circle as soft moan leaves you.

It’s like a lightning bolt to his groin, cock aching at the sound and he realises he can hear wetness as your fingertips slide between your folds. His own fingers itch with the need to take over, to feel that slickness and rub till you’re breaking apart against him.

“Well...it’d take a strong man to turn this down princess,” Moving behind you, he presses his front to your back firmly and mouths a hot kiss to your shoulder, tongue working slowly before he looks back up into the mirror and smirks at how you watch him with those needy eyes. “I’m not that strong.”

Without another word, his arm comes around to your front and he pushes your hand out of the way, his own delving into the gap and his fingers finally rub against your clit. You’re already slippery with your own desire, worked up from your own touch while you’d been safe in the knowledge that he was carefully watching.

Your head falls back against his shoulder, even at this awkward angle with you bent over the counter but he just focuses on kissing and sucking at the sensitive skin of your shoulder and neck. He makes sure not to leave any marks on your neck but he’s more than giving with his attention, his free hand moving around to massage your breasts firmly, playing with your nipple till you push back against him.

“Condom…” The word is panted out from you, your hips gyrating against the firm touch of his fingers on your engorged nerves and he doesn’t even notice it at first. Not until you’re shifting position, trying to reach over to the drawer by your side. He pauses in his movements, fingers half inside you at this point and watches as you tug open a drawer and pull out a foil wrapper.

Looking back in the mirror at you, his brows raised in a combination of surprise, amusement and mild rebuke. “Wow...you really are a little minx, huh? Keeping condoms in the bathroom and not telling me. I’d say naughty girl but right now, I approve.”

A low laugh leaves you as you tear the foil with your teeth, pulling the condom out and handing it back to him. He kicks off his underwear quickly before giving himself a few firm strokes, breath coming a little quicker from the friction but he’s more than excited to be inside you already. It’s not even been 12 hours since the last time he’d fucked you.

Once on, he reaches between your legs once more and plunged two fingers inside of you, checking that you’re more than wet enough for him without needing to get any lubrication. Sometimes you needed it, sometimes you didn’t. Today appeared to be a didn’t, and he wondered if you had some kink of mirror sex kink because you were already near enough dripping for him.

Grinning, he lined up his cock and rubbed the tip against you, rocking his hips forwards and back in slow motions to let your juices coat his cock. The sensation has you gasping softly, causing your own hips to push back as you try and shift enough to find the right angle to get him to slip inside.

He lets you take control for a moment, watching intently as your pussy finds his tip, the engorged head slipping into your sopping entrance. Holding your ass with his hands, he slows your movements down and slowly penetrates you until he’s balls deep inside, breath leaving him in a slow and controlled exhale as you squeeze tightly around him.

His eyes roll slightly at the sensation and he can’t help but grip your ass harder, tutting slightly. As said, you’d already had sex in the last twelve hours and it had been two rounds worth. He’d been proud of himself for producing two performances like that in such quick succession but he had no doubt that you were feeling at least a little bit sore right now so he tried to go slow for you.

Turns out you didn’t want slow and a soft, keening whine leaves your mouth as you try to push back against him harder. Glancing into the mirror, he has to bite his lower lip to stay quiet as he watches the pleasure filled expression face back at him, your eyes screwed tightly shut while your mouth falls open.

The thrusts he makes into you might be slow, but they’re also deep and each movement has you jerking forwards slightly. It causes your breasts to rock with each slap of his hips against your ass and he watches, entirely mesmerised by the movement and wanting to see how you react when he’s fucking you harder.

“Hobi.” You mewl, the sound strained and yet oddly high pitched as one hand moves back to grasp at his hip, trying to pull him into moving faster in combination with your squirming ass and he brings down the flat of his hand on your rounded cheeks chidingly. The sound is loud in the quiet of the room but your inner muscles immediately grip in tighter, the sensation causing him to choke for a moment and his brows rise in amusement.

Well, someone liked being spanked. He was definitely going to remember that for future events.

Any hope he had of being gentle with you to avoid soreness is gone though and it’s clear to him that you’re wanting it harder and faster than he’s going. So he decides to give you it, his hips moving forward faster until the bathroom is filled with the lewd sounds of skin against skin, slick wetness, breathy pants and lust filled groans and moans.

“Come on princess,” He grunts deeply, kissing your shoulder before his arms slide around your waist. One pushes against the counter, giving him extra balance as he thrusts while the other dips back between your legs, the slippery mess there making your soft warmth even more delightful.

The combined touch of his fingers and cock increases your moans, though they’re more like vocal hitches of breath that whine with stroke inside you. Your own hand moves to press down on his own, rubbing furious, tight circles into your clit while he continues to slam into you. The wetness has to be leaking down your thighs now, coating your inner legs and the thought turns him on almost as much as the completely fucked out visage he gets to watch in the mirror.

Breath coming quickly, he pants into your ear before moving his lips down to kiss at your neck frantically as the pleasure in his groin tightens furiously, the need to move faster and harder so strong as he feels the impending release of his orgasm. He desperately wants you to come first, but sometimes that just doesn’t happen and he can’t help it as your pussy flutters around him once more, tightening viciously and he succumbs to the waves of pleasure that flood through his body.

A long and drawn out moan leaves his mouth, high and filled with pure satisfaction and carnal pleasure as he moves inside you slowly, pulling every bit of pleasure he can out from your warm depths before it feels too much for him. Hissing lightly at the overstimulation, he refuses to move as his fingers move back to your clit, rubbing at you in quick, fast movements that have you shivering in his arms as needy moans leave you.

Tiny movements of your hips as they gyrate and the clenching of your pussy has him whining quietly but he doesn’t move, determined to get you off as well. Sometimes it didn’t happen and you’d push his hand away, but this time you keep him firmly against him until your body seizes tightly around him, muscles stiffening before convulsions take over.

His cock slips from you in the midst of your orgasm but you don’t notice, not when his fingers keep moving and prolonging the pleasure until your hips shift away from his hand, the subtle movement telling him to let go. Heavy panting is all that remains in the room and he strips the condom quickly, throwing it away before wrapping his arms around you and hugging you to him tightly once more.

“Fuck...I was not intending that. I was trying to be good.” He mumbles against your shoulder, not noticing the way you give him a tired smile of affection in the mirror as your hand comes up to run through his messy hair.

“I didn’t want you to be good. I wanted you to fuck me good and hard, and you did. So thank you.” You murmur, turning around and pressing a kiss to his lips firmly. Neither of you move for a few moments, simply enjoying the post-coital bliss of an orgasm induced intimacy before Hoseok finally pulls away with a contented noise.

“Okay princess, now that we’ve got even more dirty...let’s finally take that shower.”

Hoseok finally manages to leave your house an hour and a half later, meaning that he’s running behind on his own internal schedule and he feels the slight anxiety that he always does when he’s not being on time. With three kids, he’s had to learn to strictly regiment his time if he ever wants to get anything accomplished.

Whether they obey or not is a different story entirely.

After getting out of the shower and pulling on some clothes, he’d then been forced to sit down on your couch while you cooked him a quick breakfast. The very idea of having food cooked for him by someone who wasn’t his mom was bizarre after so many years, but he’d enjoyed eating the over cooked toast and bacon more than he’d like to admit.

He’d originally intended to run out to the grocery store and grab the food for dinner before heading back home and cleaning everything up. Only you’d looked far too anxious about tonight when he’d been on his way out, shooting multiple questions at him that gave away your nerves and he’d felt sympathy swell.

It was easy for him to focus on his girls and worry about their reaction, but he had to try and remember that this meeting involved you as well. And you were at a severe disadvantage in that you are the odd one out, the one intruding into his family unit.

So he’d found himself asking if you wanted to help him before he’d even realised. Part of him felt bad about it as it meant that the girl would be coming home to someone they don’t know, but he figured that they already knew they were meeting you anyway. It would at least allow you to calm yourself down and get a little more comfortable in his home before you finally meet his daughters.

Which was why he was currently walking down the aisle of the grocery store, hand tightly entwined with yours as he pondered what to make for dinner. He was actually glad that you were here for that and he posed the question to you, causing you to hum lightly as you lean into him.

“What do the girls like?” The question throws him a little and he frowns, looking at the rows of microwaveable rice before glancing back at you.

“Well...what do you want to eat though? You’re the reason we’re having a special dinner.” He can hear the soft sigh you give, your head resting against his shoulder and his chest warms at the small gesture of affection. It might not seem much to others but to someone as romantically starved as him, it was unbelievably fulfilling.

Pulling away from him, you move back until you’re gently tugging at him to move and he follows you quietly. “No, we’re going to cook what your daughters love to eat because this is going to be an awkward time for them and their favourite home cooked meal will be one less thing they have to worry about. So what do they like to eat?”

His heart flips at the concern and warmth in your voice, causing him to smile as he glances down, tugging you closer and kissing your forehead quickly. “We’ll make lasagne, they all like that and it’ll give us plenty of food. You like that right? And I know you like garlic bread.”

You grin impishly at that, nodding enthusiastically and he chuckles. “I’ll go get the stuff for the bread, you get the stuff for the lasagne yeah? Should I…” A pause causes him to look at you with a raised brow, watching the indecision flutter across your face before carrying on. “Should I get them anything? Like...a present or...chocolate or something?”

“No, don’t get them anything. I mean maybe you should but...I don’t personally like the idea. I don’t want them to feel like you’re trying to buy their affection and love. Just...be yourself.” There’s a brief hesitation before you nod almost shyly, arm moving to cover your stomach in a protective gesture before you head off in search of the ingredients.

Time seems to move faster after that and before he realises it, it’s already time for him to go collect the girls from his parents. The house had been fully tidied and cleaned, though he’d wondered why on earth he was doing that when you were literally cleaning it with him but something he’d discovered today was that apparently you had a strange kink for cleaning.

Not even sexual, you just liked to clean. He’d laughed when he’d discovered that, your excitement at the Dyson vacuum cleaner he’d produced spurring on the new revelation and he’d proclaimed that he had a house that would bring you eternal joy.

Three children meant there was no such thing as a clean house, just organised chaos. And sometimes not even organised, just plain chaos.

But true to your word, you hadn’t uttered a single complaint and had instead sung loudly to the music he’d played on the speakers that were connected to his phone. He’d had a whole moment of affectionate bemusement as he’d watched you wiggle around the living room, singing while you even dusted for him.

There had been a few moments of quietness from you when you’d noted the pictures of Yoo-jin on the mantle of the fireplace. He kept a few dotted around the house for the girls and he’d worried for a moment that you’d feel jealous or annoyed.

Instead, you’d simply picked up the silver framed wedding photograph, taking note of the younger Hoseok in a suit and the pretty girl in a beautiful wedding dress next to him, both smiling so brightly with a small Soo-ah in his arms. It was his favourite picture of Yoo-jin and he still felt a bubble of love for her when he looked at it.

Which is why he hoped you wouldn’t be mean. And you hadn’t been, instead looking at him with a small smile and carefully placing the frame onto the floor before moving the others as well. “She was beautiful.”

And then you’d knelt down on the floor and carefully polished the frames until they were spotless, giving them a level of care and attention that had him having to leave the room so that you couldn’t see the tears in his eyes.

Once he’d recovered himself, he’d gone back in and sorted out storing the many toys away while telling you stories behind some of the pictures and preening ever so slightly over how you cooed over the photos of his daughters. Damn right they were cute.

Now though, he was shrugging on a jacket and picking up his car keys to go get them and bring them home. It’s only when he looks back round that he sees the way your shoulders are curled inwards, making yourself small while your hands cross over your chest.

Moving back over, he hugs you tightly to him before kissing your forehead as your chin rests on his chest, nerves evident in every part of you. “Hey, come on. It’ll be okay. Remember, if they don’t respond well tonight then it’s just the first time. Don’t take it to heart.”

“I know. It’s just...I don’t really know what to do, you know? Never met my boyfriend’s kids before.” A quiet laugh leaves him before he dips down, pressing his lips to your own in a quick kiss.

“I love you,” He turns around and heads to the door, knowing that you’re probably going to end up cleaning something else. Part of him wonders if he should have you leave and come back in half an hour but that seems stupid. So he shakes his head and opens the door, looking back at you and smiling. “Please, try and relax a little.”

“Okay. Love you.”

Pulling into the driveway, Hoseok takes a deep breath to fortify his nerves before glancing into the mirror to check on the twins in the backseat. His parents had, as expected, spoilt all three and the twin’s were coming home with Funko figures each to put on their shelves while Soo-ah had a ridiculously thick book of horse breeds.

One day, he worried that he might be expected to buy her a horse. He didn’t like horses, and he certainly didn’t want to own one. You were currently convincing him to let her have horse riding lessons and he was considering it as her Christmas present, but he still worried immensely that she would get hurt.

Still, she was slowly proving that it wasn��t a phase and he knew that he was going to have to relent sooner rather than later. He didn’t want to be the dad who stifled her passions and dreams, even if it could potentially cause interest.

“Okay everyone, we’re back. Now...as I said before, Y/N is already here. She helped me to make dinner and clean the house for you guys! So it’s all clean. Ideally, I’d like you to keep it clean but I know you rascals,” He eyes the twins at that and they both give him identical toothy grins. “Are probably going to mess it all up.”

“Grandma was excited.” Ji-eun blurts out, her expression mischievous as if she was fully aware that she was tattling on his own mother. He can’t help the smile that spreads as he imagines his mom gushing to them. She’d spent years now trying to get him to finally move on, so needless to say, she’d been beyond ecstatic when he’d told her last week that he was going to introduce the girls to you.

“Grandma needs to learn to keep her nose out,” He mused quietly before laughing. “Anyway, I’m just going to ask one last time...please be good for me? Be on your best behaviour and be polite. You don’t have to like her, but I did not raise rude girls, right?”

The stern look he gives the twins causes them to give him carefully blank faces as they nod slowly. He eyes them for a moment longer, knowing that trouble was never far with them, before turning to Soo-ah. She sits next to him in the passenger seat quietly, arms wrapped around the book and her hair in low pigtails.

“Soo-ah?” She tenses slightly when he says her name before looking at him, her brown eyes filled with so many emotions he didn’t understand. But despite all that, she nods slowly while her lips purse out.

Before he can say anything else, the twins are rushing out of the car and bolting over towards the door. He swore under his breath before getting out of the car himself, watching with resignation as they rush inside.

Looking back at Soo-ah, he sees her quietly getting out and closing the door in a much more gentler fashion than her excitable sisters. Hoseok can’t help but walk over to her, crouching down and looking up at her as he takes one of her hands gently between his own. The fact he has to look up at her now while crouching makes him sad, yet he’s so proud of her too.

“Soo-soo...if you don’t want to do this then you can tell me. You don’t have to meet her. I can ask her to go home, or I can take you back to your grandparents if you want. I’m not going to force you to do something that you don’t want to do, okay?” The only sounds for a few moments are the chirping of the birds in the trees that line the street and a car engine in the distance.

“It’s okay dad. She can stay. I’ll meet her.” His brow creases and he reaches up to run his hand down her hair slowly.

“Are you sure?” One more time, just to make doubly sure because he knows his daughter well. And he knows that she’s not entirely happy, but what can he do when she’s verbally telling him it’s okay? He’s giving plenty of chances for her to back out and he wouldn’t be mad at her. Sad, yes, but not angry.

“Yes daddy.” And with that, she heads into the house as well. He’s left to stand there, face grimaced as he wonders if he should just call it all off. But then he suddenly realises that you’re on your own in there, with his daughters.

“Shit.” He curses and runs inside, faltering in the doorway that leads into the living room. The twins are sat on the couch while Soo-ah is in the arm chair, all three quiet and looking at you like you’re something fascinating. They’re pretty relaxed whereas you’re stiff as a board in the doorway to the kitchen, a brittle smile on your face that turns into one of relief when you see him.

“Hey err...we’re back? Obviously. Erm, okay well. Girls, this is Y/N, my...girlfriend,” He doesn’t really know if he’s meant to be introducing you as that or just his friend, but they’d already figured it out the other night anyway. “Y/N, this is my eldest daughter, Soo-ah. And this is Ji-soo with her hair down and Ji-eun with her hair in a ponytail.”

“Hello Y/N.” The twins said at the same time, their voices light and whimsical and he almost hisses at how creepy they sound. They’re doing it purposefully, he can see the shine in their eyes because they know people find it weird when they do that. Soo-ah simply gives a polite hello of her own, dipping her head ever so slightly in welcome.

“Hi...erm,” He can tell that you’re struggling to say something and he so desperately wants to go over and place a reassuring arm around you. But he can’t, because he feels he should be with the girls instead. “It’s nice to meet you all. Your dad has told me so much about you.”

The sudden ringing of an alarm in the kitchen interrupts whatever else you were about to say and Hoseok jerks, eyes glancing behind you to the room. “Okay, girls...clean up and then come to the table. Be quick, we’re having lasagne.”

That gets a bright smile from all three as they jump up and rush towards the bathroom situated downstairs, eager to wash their hands before going into the dining room. You’d set the table earlier for him once he’d shown you where everything was and even now, you were helping him by bringing some of the food into the room.

His daughters were smiling in delight as he served the lasagne out to them, his own stomach rumbling at the smell and he realised belatedly that neither you nor him had eaten since breakfast. The plate you place down with garlic bread is soon emptied, with Hoseok making sure to grab two pieces and place one on your own plate.

It’s odd, having five people at the table instead of three, he thinks to himself as he sits down after handing you the plate with your own lasagne. All of them are used to it being just the four of them, with Soo-ah normally sitting next to Hoseok while the twins sit opposite. But today, Hoseok is sat at the end of the table with Soo-ah next to him on the right while you’re next to him on the left.

It unnerves him a little, taking this weird head of the table position but he doesn’t mention it as he takes a mouthful of lasagne. A quiet hum of appreciation comes from you and he glances over, chewing and smiling at the way your eyes close in delight.

“Daddy! Ji-soo has more than me!” Ji-eun complains before shrieking as her sister pinches her arm. Already, Hoseok has visions of a full fight blowing up between the two because if they’re not being sweet with each other then they’re having astonishing fights and Ji-eun is already turning around to retaliate.

“Hey! What did I say earlier? Best behaviour. Do not fight.” Hoseok hisses at them, eyes narrowing as he gestures a finger at them. Both girls slump down in their chairs, sauce covered lips pursing as they glare at each other.

And then, as always with their contradictory nature, Ji-soo carefully cuts a piece of lasagne and places it on her sister’s plate without a word. Ji-eun smiles happily and eats it, doing a little butt wiggle dance in her seat in victory and Hoseok has to fight the urge to laugh at them.

Glancing at you, he notes your widened eyes at his sudden rebuke and his cheeks heat up. “Sorry. You get used to it. They’re either working together to cause trouble or they’re fighting with each other.”

You nod slowly at his explanation before a wry smile spreads, eyes flicking back over to the girls who are now sat being good as gold. “It’s okay. I had a friend in high school who was a twin. They had the worst fights but you did not want to come between them. It must be nice to have someone who will always be there for you.”

“You know someone with a twin too?!” Ji-soo exclaims loudly, her pretty eyes going wide with astonishment and Hoseok doesn’t even bother to stop his laugh this time. They’d never met any other twins before and they knew from people’s reactions that they were pretty special.

“I did! I’m not friends with them anymore but she had a twin brother, not a sister like you two. They had a special language that they would talk in and only they understood it.” At that, Ji-eun is the one to squeal in excitement as she claps her hands.

“We do! Daddy hates it when we do.” He grumbles good naturedly at that, pointing at them with his fork before taking another bite of lasagne with a grin.

“Yeah, it was very strange listening to them. But that’s special though, it means that only you two will ever be able to understand it so it’s something that only you share.” They nod slowly, smiling brightly at your encouragement and his heart warms at how they seem to be pretty accepting of you so far.

His eyes flicker to Soo-ah who’s eating methodically, keeping quiet. She’s always been a quiet girl, but he feels like the silence is more oppressive this time and he chews slowly, wondering how to get her involved too.

You’re talking to the twins now about your favourite Marvel movie, because he’d told you all about their love of the superhero genre and it was a pretty easy way to win favour with them. It seemed to be working too, as Ji-soo was sidling up to you as close as she could get in her chair, her eyes stern with concentration as she discusses in her five-year-old language why she thinks that Black Panther is the best movie.

Which is then countered by Ji-eun’s outraged shout as she disagrees vehemently, proclaiming that the best film is obviously Captain Marvel because she’s a girl and she’s cool and powerful. It leaves him to smile as he rolls his eyes, you throwing your own hat into the ring with the suggestion that your own favourite film is the first Avengers.

He contemplates if he should have warned you about the fact that they’ll never stop talking now that you’ve shown an interest in their favourite subject ever. At least he’d never really mentioned their second passion lately which was Pokemon.

Admittedly, he was on board with both of these passions but he’d spent so long now discussing them with two overly eager daughters that the very subjects inspired more of a sigh than excitement. Though he would still be taking them to see every film that came out.

“Soo-ah, did you know that Y/N goes horse riding? She even used to do show jumping in high school.” He gestures towards you with an overly bright smile, hoping that discussing his eldest’s favourite passion would encourage her to engage with you in the same way.

All he gets is a sullen look and a shrug before she puts another forkful in her mouth. Despair fills him momentarily but he’s surprised when you take the initiative and take up the conversation he’d suggested. He hadn’t even realised you were listening to him.

“I did! I used to go to competitions on the weekends with my horse, Artemis. She was a really good jumper but I wasn’t very good with her unfortunately. We never really won anything but it was just for fun. Now I just ride whenever I get time. Artemis is pretty old now so we just go trail riding.” Hoseok smiles as your eyes light up as you discuss your horse.

He knew that you were expecting to lose her any time now and it would probably hugely devastate you. After all, you’d had her since you were only 14 and she was still here, 17 years later.

“Cool.” Is the only response he gets from his daughter and he has to bite his tongue in frustration. He’d known that she was going to be the hard one to crack, but he didn’t think she was going to be this cold about it all.

“I think you’d like Artemis, Soo-soo. She’s a...Dutch Warmblood?” He looks at you in question, relieved when you nod in confirmation before he’s smiling back at his daughter. “You told me about those, right? They’re supposed to be really good at that kind of stuff? Maybe, if you want, Y/N will let you ride her.”

“Of course, she’s really sweet and she’d be good for someone who’s never ridden. She’s old now but as long as you’re not mean with her then she’d be happy to take you round a ring. I think that you’d find her very pretty. She used to be dapple grey but is now just pretty much white.” You say with a smile, turning your head as Ji-soo asks if she can ride too.

“I don’t care.” Soo-ah says suddenly, her voice firm and raised and Hoseok looks at her sharply. Her cheeks are flushed while her brows dip inwards, annoyance and anger written all over her face. “I don’t care about your stupid horse or your stupid riding. I don’t care!”

The silence at the table is awkward after that and Hoseok feels numb, unsure what he’s supposed to do to resolve this situation. So he carefully places his cutlery down on his cleared plate and coughs quietly, giving Soo-ah a smile.

“Soo-ah, sweetheart. It’s okay-” He’s cut off immediately though, as if a switch has been flipped in her.

“Stop saying that! It’s not going to be okay! Because she’s going to come here and ruin everything! You’re going to forget about mom and we have to accept her! I won’t! I don’t care about you! I hate you!” She spat viciously at you but despite her anger, there’s tears brimming in her eyes and Hoseok has never felt more helpless. “I don’t want to talk to you! My dad might love you but I won’t! I never will! I love my mom!”

And with that, she slams her chair out of the way and storms out of the room. The thundering of her feet on the stairs as she runs to her room is soon followed by the resounding slam of her bedroom door and Hoseok feels stunned.

Blinking for a few moments, he watches as the twins faces crease slightly and he can see the tears in their own eyes as uncertainty and fear fills them. They glance between him, you and the doorway and he knows they don’t know what to do.

Are they supposed to be angry with you too, like their sister? He doesn’t want that, and so he clears his tight throat and smiles at them both, a little stiff but they still relax a little.

“It’s okay. Soo-ah’s...not happy about me bringing Y/N here. And she’s allowed to feel that, I’m not mad at her,” Okay, so he was a little bit as she’d just been incredibly rude and mean but it was already fading because most importantly, he understood her. “If you aren’t happy either, then you can tell me. It’s okay.”

Ji-soo looks at him, her beautiful brown eyes shining with unshed tears that she wipes away with a firm hand before shaking her head. “I’m okay daddy. Is Soo-ah okay?”

“She...will be. I’m sure. She’s just...it’s hard for her.” He smiles slightly, moving into Soo-ah’s chair to brush a few strands of hair out of Ji-eun’s face as she watches him quietly. Without even saying anything, she shuffles closer and leans against his side.

“Because she had mommy right?” The question is quiet and his throat feels so tight that it’s hard to swallow. They may only be five, but his twins are so smart and caring.

“Yeah, because she had mommy. So she remembers her, and she’s just worried. But we’re not gonna forget about mommy. She will always be important, okay?” He presses his lips to Ji-eun’s head, kissing her hair before looking at Ji-soo and giving her a reassuring smile.

They’re both quiet for a moment before nodding, and his heart swells with emotion as Jisoo turns to you and takes your hand in her own small ones. “It’s okay. We like you.”

He doesn’t get to see your reaction as he’s looking back at the doorway, wondering if he should go to her and check that she’s doing okay or just let her cool down. On the one hand, he doesn’t want her to feel suffocated when she’s obviously upset but at the same time, he doesn’t want her to feel like he’s abandoning her.

“Go.” You whisper and he looks back sharply, catching your eye as you gesture your head to the door. “It’s okay. Go.”

He stands up and goes to make a move before hesitating, uncertainty in him. You give him another nod and he lets out a deep sigh as his shoulders fall.

“I’ll be right back,” Hoseok smiles awkwardly, mouth stiff as he avoids your eyes. “Be good girls okay? I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He bends down and kisses the twin’s heads, taking in their expression to make sure they’re okay and feeling a bit of relief as their faces are cautiously neutral.

“It’s okay Hoseok, go check on her. I’ll be okay. I’m sure that we can find something fun to do, right?” You give him a tight smile, nerves evident as you look back at the twins with tentative hope. They’d reacted pretty well to Soo-ah’s outburst but he was worried that they might be mean while he was gone. But you give him a ‘go’ look and he knows that you can look after yourself.

So he heads out, feeling a little bad that he’s leaving the table but he has to at least check on Soo-ah. He isn’t sure if he’s supposed to be ignoring her or not but that feels wrong in his gut. She’s already worried about things he doesn’t even know yet, he’d rather not add to that by not coming to see her. At least she knows that her dad is always there for her, even when she doesn’t want him.

Her door is firmly closed and he stands outside it for a moment, hands clenching and unclenching as he’s unsure what to do now. This isn’t a conversation he really knows how to have, but he takes it as a positive really. It at least means that her life since Yoo-jin’s death hasn’t been too tumultuous.

Taking a deep breath, he raps his knuckles against the door quietly and leans forward, his ear almost pressed to the door. “Soo-ah? It’s dad...are you okay?”

Silence answers him and his stomach sinks. He desperately wants to go in and comfort her, make her smile or just talk to her about her concerns but he’s been very clear over the years about their personal space. A closed door means that he can’t enter without their permission.

It might seem a little extreme given young they all are, but as the only male in the house he felt it was necessary to set those boundaries. When their door was closed, he wouldn’t go in unless invited. They’d grown to be pretty respectful of that for him as well and he was immensely relieved at the high levels of trust they all had with each other all ready.

They needed to know that they had a space that was private and safe, only for them. Which is why he lets out yet another deep sigh, his forehead resting against the white painted wood. It’s at moments like this that he wishes Yoo-jin were still here, so that she can help.

A flash of guilt runs through him then, both for wishing that she was alive when it meant he wouldn’t be with you but also because he is here with his daughters and Yoo-jin isn’t. Swallowing, he pushes that thought away before trying again.

“Soo-soo...I’m not...I’m not mad at you. I know you, and I know that you’re not mean or cruel. You’re just...I know this is confusing for you, and it’s hard. I’m not angry, and neither is Y/N. We understand, but I wish you’d talk to me. Please, let me know what’s upsetting you exactly.” Hoseok really isn’t sure what he’s meant to be saying to her but he’s speaking the truth; he isn’t mad with her.

He was at first, when the biting words spilled out of her. Firstly because he was simply shocked that his daughter could be that rude and mean but then secondly because he’d seen the hurt that had flashed over your face at her blunt rejection. But that had gone quickly when he’d seen the film of tears that had glazed over his little girl’s eyes and he’d known that she only lashing out because she was confused and scared.

“Soo-soo…” His voice trailed off, uncertainty over what to do when he heard noises from inside and his heart jumped a little.

“Go away dad,” Soo-ah’s voice was strained and he could practically hear the tears, causing his face to grimace as his paternal instincts screamed at him to go to his hurting daughter. “Leave me alone.”

“Soo-ah...sweetheart…”

“Go away!” The words are shrill and he closes his eyes, feeling his whole body drain of energy as he recognises a losing battle. Well, no one can say he didn’t at least try. And at least he’s come to her, even if she doesn’t want him there. It’s not even one of those scenarios where she’s telling him to go away but he can tell she actually wants him there.

This is one of those times when she evidently wants to be left alone. So he will, for now at least.

“Okay Soo-ah, I’ll go. But I’m downstairs if you need me. Just come, or call, and I’ll come up okay? I’m not mad, you can talk to me,” He rests his hand on the door, trying to push through his love and affection to her. “I love you.”

With that, he lets his shoulders slump in defeat, waiting a few moments longer to see if she would come out before walking back down the hall. As much as he’d love to sit and wait her out, he has two other daughters that he needs to be worrying about. Two twin five-year-old’s, actually, who he’s left alone with you.

The realisation causes him to pause, eyes widening as he realises the carnage he could have potentially left you with. They’re handfuls with him, and he at least has the authority to ground them or tell them off. He can’t even imagine how easily they’re running you around.

Rushing down the stairs, he moves into the dining room only to pause in confusion, noting the suspiciously clean table. Heading through to the kitchen, he hears the dishwasher running and is even more confused.

The girl’s don’t know how to use the dishwasher, which must mean that you’d put them in there for him. Guilt rises immediately as he realises that you’ve cleaned up dinner for him, giving him one less thing to do. He appreciates it, but at the same time, he can’t help but think his mom would be scolding him right now.

You’re a guest in his house. Therefore, you should not be cleaning up after yourself. He should be doing that for you.

A sudden peal of bright, girlish laughter from the living room distracts him and he headed through the doorway in pursuit of it. The scene he comes across makes him pause in surprise, head tilting for a moment before a smile spreads and he rests his shoulder against the frame.

None of them have seen him yet, but the twins had you down on the floor with them as they showed you their expansive toy collection. Currently, they had the whole set of Avengers dolls along with others he’d bought for them from the Marvel collection. They were most definitely superhero girls, and currently they were fighting over who got to play as Captain Marvel.

Despite the fact they had three versions of her, but he’d discovered over the years that if one of them wanted something then the other wanted it twice as much. You were sat between them both, a bemused smile on your face as you held a Shuri and Black Panther doll in each hand, looking them over intently.

“Hey, hey! Come on now, let’s not fight, yeah? How about...neither of you be Captain Marvel because you’re both fighting? Why not be someone else? Shuri’s really cool,” You wiggle the doll with a grin, brows raising as you raise her arms up and pretend to fire lasers like in the film. “And then we’ve also got Nebula!”

“Nebula’s bad!” Ji-soo pouted, flopping down onto her butt and crossing her arms. Ji-eun pushed her immediately, laughing loudly as her sister fell over.

“Nebula’s cool! I wanna be her.” She grabbed the doll from you quickly and grinned up at you, pushing the sheet of black hair out of her eyes and behind her ear. He really did need to get their hair cut. It was a mess of tangles as usual right now, causing him to sigh as he knew how much of a struggle it was to get them to sit still and have their hair brushed.

“Nuh-uh, Shuri’s the best. She’s smart. I’m smarter than you.” Hoseok has to bite his lower lip to keep the chuckle inside that so desperately wants to escape as he watches your face fall slightly as they begin to fight once more. Welcome to his world, he thinks to himself, fully amused.

“Hey now, what have I told you both about fighting?” He says sternly, heading into the room and standing over them both with raised brows. There’s absolutely no need to look at you, because he’s fully aware that he’s using his dad voice right.

And he was equally aware of your thoughts about his ‘dad’ voice, given all the times he’d been on the phone with you and suddenly had to to tell them off, or when he’d given them their goodnight call when they were with their grandparents. It had made him embarrassed at first, to realise his voice changed that much but you’d just been thoroughly amused.

Ji-soo immediately smiles at him, rushing up to her feet and running over to him with Shuri clasped tightly in her hand. He laughed loudly and came back over with her, small hand clasped tightly in his own as she directed him to sit on the floor next to you. Looking over at you with a small smile, he leans over and whispers to you.

“Thank you for cleaning up, but you really didn’t have to.”

“Hoseok, I was alone with twin five-year-old’s that I don’t know. When I’m anxious, I clean. Besides, it wasn’t any trouble and they wanted to help.” His brows rose at that and he looked back at the twin’s, taking in the sloping noses that resembled his own so strongly.

“Wow...so it’s just daddy that you won’t help, huh?” Pressing a hand to his chest, he pouts dramatically in a wounded tone that has Ji-eun giggling as she launches herself at him and settles in his lap. She’s getting too big to be doing this, but he won’t complain. One day, she won’t do it all.

“Daddy said we have to be good.” His heart warmed at that and an immense flush of pride swelled deep within, pressing a kiss to her head in pure paternal love. Glancing back at you, his cheeks flushed slightly at the look of adoration you give him and he just knows that you’re internally screaming at his interaction.

“So. If you’re Nebula, and Ji-soo is Shuri...then what can Y/N and I be? What about...if I’m Captain Marvel?” Ji-eun gasps loudly, shaking her head furiously and he splutters out a mouthful of hair as her ponytail smacks him firmly in the face.

“No daddy! You can’t. You have to be Iron Man!” He lets out another gasp, not actually bothered because Iron Man was cool but he’d actually wanted to be Captain Marvel. The film was great, sue him.

“Why? Because I’m a boy!” Yet he doesn’t push away the Iron Man doll, he calls them dolls purely because figurine is probably too hard for them to say to right now. The red and gold figurine is well used, scratches and dents marring the plastic surface from the intense playing they’d given him over the years.

Which included seeing if he could fly by throwing him out of the window onto the drive. That would have just gotten an eye roll from him normally, except they’d thrown him with some force and he’d landed firmly on Hoseok’s car. Who would have known that such a small toy would cause such a scratch on the windscreen?

“No daddy, because Y/N can be Pepper.” Ji-soo hands you a doll, smaller than the others and from the Iron Man 3 film but just as good. You take it from her with a gracious smile but he can see the confusion in your eyes as to why you have to be Pepper Potts and not one of the other superheroes.

He doesn’t even think to question the fact that his kids that are doing that odd thing where they both seem to know exactly what the other is thinking.

“Why Pepper? Why can’t she be Captain Marvel if I can’t?” Playfully, he pushes at the doll in Ji-eun’s hands and she giggles sweetly, looking up at him with those warm brown eyes that he loves so dearly.

“Because Iron Man loves Pepper, and you love Y/N.” Well...there’s not much room for argument there really. His cheeks once more flush red as he steadfastly avoids your eyes, oddly embarrassed at his daughters for outing him so thoroughly to you. You knew he loved you obviously, but the easy acceptance with which they react makes him feel a little odd.

He doesn’t really know why, but he pushes it away and takes a deep breath. “Okay sweetpea. Now then...what bad guy are we fighting?”

Soo-ah doesn’t come down for the rest of the night, nor does she let Hoseok into her room whenever he comes to check on her. It fills him with worry and he knows that he spends most of the night looking at the ceiling in anxiety.

He knows that, because he’s had more than a few comforting touches or smiles from you throughout the evening. An hour of playing with the twins had soon turned into them sitting with both Hoseok and you on the couch while episodes of Pokemon played on the flat screen television.

They seemed to have got along with you pretty well, and while they certainly weren’t being overly accommodating, they had been open enough that he got the impression that everything was going to be pretty okay with them. You had enough common interests with them to keep them entertained and he had the added benefit of them both being influenced by each other.

So if one really liked you, then the other would come around soon.

Ji-soo in particular seemed to be the one that he suspected would latch onto you with a few more visits. She was already more than enamoured in the stories you’d told her of the places that you’d been over the years and he wondered if you knew that you were probably going to end up with two little shadows soon enough.

After a few episodes of Pokemon, he’d put on Detective Pikachu at Ji-eun’s request because you hadn’t seen it before and they found that to be a complete travesty. It had been around 8pm then and he was being generous in letting them stay up later than he normally would in honour of your visit.

The first hour of the film had involved you having to spend more time listening to the running commentary from the twin’s as they explained important plot points, or what they was important, and point out every little thing. He was pretty sure that you hadn’t actually been able to properly watch any of it, and he made a mental note to watch it again with you at a later date.

And then everything had gone silent. He’d been so invested in his own thoughts and worry about Soo-ah that he hadn’t even noticed until the credits were rolling and no one had complained about it.

Turning his head, he couldn’t help the smile that spread over his face as he took in the sight next to him. Something he probably hadn’t expected to happen for months, but evidently all three were more tired than he’d anticipated.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he quietly unlocked it and turned on the camera before taking a picture. Staring at his screen, he grinned and set it to his home screen and placed his phone on the arm of the couch.

Ji-eun was curled up next to her sister, her head resting on Ji-soo’s shoulder until their hair blended together perfectly. Ji-soo on the other hand, was curled up into your side, your arm resting around them both while your head had fallen back against the couch, all three sleeping quietly and he felt a ridiculous amount of warmth and love for you all.

Carefully, he stood up and lifted Ji-eun up as slowly as he could so as not to wake her. She made a soft little noise of complaint in his arms but didn’t stir, not until he was shifting her bed covers until he could get her beneath them. Ideally, he’d like to get her into her pyjamas and have her brush her teeth, but he knew that if he tried to wake her then he’d just have grumpiness followed by an inability to sleep for another few hours.

So this time, he’d let them sleep in their clothes.

He repeated the same actions with Ji-soo before giving them both a kiss on the head and whispering good night to them, turning off the lamp in their room and closing the door behind him while their night light glowed warmly. Heading back downstairs, he was left with the sight of you fast asleep on the couch.

Hoseok realised that he really, really liked the sight of you in his home like this. It was an odd feeling and he shook his head, moving into the kitchen and looking in the fridge. The dish of lasagne had been left on the side, some foil covering it as it had cooled and he looked inside casually.

There was one slice left, and without a word he put it into a small tupperware tub before heading back into the living room. Crouching down next to you, he placed his hand on your knee and pushed gently while calling out your name to wake you.

A quiet groan left you as you blinked blearily, eyes glazed until they focused on him. They were blank for a moment before filling with warmth as he smiled up at you. Glancing to the side, you frowned slightly at the missing girls and he laughed slightly, standing up and taking your hand to pull you up.

You wobbled slightly, leaning your weight against him as you got your balance but he took care of that by wrapping his arms around your shoulders and hugging you to him tightly. Neither said anything for a few minutes, just simply enjoying the feeling of being in each others arms and he wished that you didn’t have to go.

“Tonight was...good. I love the twins already, they’re...characters,” You chuckle against his chest and he can’t help but laugh in return as he nods. “But sweet. I really like them. And who knew you were this good at cooking hmm? Really got myself a man who can do it all huh?”

His cheeks burn bright red then as he makes a few protesting noises but you shush him loudly, leaning your chin on his chest to look up at him with an adoring expression. “I love you. Your family...is wonderful. I can feel the love between you all, it’s...really nice. Even with Soo-ah. I was a bit awkward but I can understand why she feels like that. I hope that she can come round to me.”

“I’m sure she will. One day. I’m not going to push her though. I feel bad about it because I knew she wasn’t okay with it, but she kept telling me she was. Maybe I moved too fast with it all.” You shake your head in response, tightening your arms around him and pressing a kiss to his chest.

“She’s a big girl, and if she tells you that she’s okay with something then you have to take her at face value sometimes. We all do things that we don’t really want to do. I get the feeling that she was trying for you and at least the ice is broken now. If she refuses to have anything to do with me then...that’s within her rights I guess. At least I’ve met her. Don’t beat yourself up about it, please.” He lets out a bone deep sigh before nodding slowly.

“Okay. Thank you. For today...everything. I...despite the thing with Soo-ah, I’m really happy. Like...really, I’m so glad that the twins seem to like you a lot.” Pulling away from him, you grin as you head out into the hallway and grab your jacket and bag.

“I’m glad that you’re happy. You deserve some happiness too Hoseok, remember that.” Nodding, he catches sight of one of the photographs of Yoo-jin on the wall and swallows thickly. You were right, he did deserve to be happy as well. Yoo-jin wouldn’t want him to wallow forever.

“Oh, you can take the last of the lasagne. This is not going to get eaten unless it’s by me having midnight munchies, and I do not need the extra weight.” Patting his stomach, he held out the container which you took with a bemused expression.

“You make out like you’re overweight Hoseok. You’re not. You’re cuddly sized.” The teasing in your voice causes him to roll his eyes but he just accepts you hug once more, the muffled thanks from you taken in gratitude as he takes a deep inhale of you.

“Be safe. Drive carefully. Text me when you get home.” You exaggeratedly agree to all of his demands before he lets you go, standing in the open door as you turn to him and pull him down into a goodbye kiss. It maybe goes on a little too long, but he doesn’t care.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Text me.” He says sternly, wagging a finger in your direction as you head over to your car in the darkness.

“Yes dad!”

“Don’t start that again!” But his protest is pointless as you just laugh and get into your car, reversing out of his drive and pulling away. He watches until he can’t see your tail lights anymore before heading back in and locking the door behind him.

His usual nightly routine is followed after that, but after he brushed his teeth and had done his business in the bathroom, he heads back over to Soo-ah’s door and knocks lightly. There’s no answer, and he wonders if she’s gone to sleep.

It makes his heart hurt to think that he can’t resolve this tonight with her, but he decides that he’s going to try and heal the rift between them tomorrow. He has to. He can’t go on with his little girl being mad at him.

After a few more minutes of silence, he sighed heavily and turns off the light before heading into his own bedroom. He spends half an hour beneath the covers of his bed, scrolling through social media and the news on his phone. You haven’t texted him yet, and worry fills him when suddenly, a light knock reverberates around the room.

Sitting up suddenly, he frowns and calls out for whoever it is to come in. The door opens slowly and he’s met with Soo-ah, dressed in her pyjamas and her hair still in the pigtails from earlier. She looks shy and hesitant, her gaze on the floor as one hand crosses over the stomach, holding the doorknob firmly.

“Can I come in daddy?” Immediately he’s nodding, opening his arms to her and she quietly closes the door behind her before rushing over, climbing onto the bed and burying herself in his arms. Even in the dim light of his bedside lamp, he’d recognised the swollen red eyes of someone who has spent a long time crying and he coos to her softly as she wraps her arms around him tightly.

Laying back on the bed, he pulls her with him and kisses her head. “Soo-soo, what’s wrong? I’m not mad at you.”

“Really? I was mean though.” Her voice is more childlike than he’s ever heard it and his heart tugs for her.

“Yeah, I’m not mad. I mean...I wish you hadn’t been mean, but I know that it’s a tough situation for you. Y/N wasn’t mad either. I just...I wish that you would have told me that you didn’t want to and I would have told her to go home. You’re important to me Soo-ah, your comfort is important.” He whispers to her.

“I was okay with it, I swear. I was worried, because I don’t want her to take mom’s place. But I know you like her. And you’ve always been alone,” She pauses, burying her face in his chest while her small arms squeeze him tighter. “I tried, but...I just...I was angry. She’s pretty and smart and funny, and you look at her all funny and it made me angry because she’s not mom.”

Hoseok blinks a few times, trying to stop himself from crying as she blurts out all of her inner feelings. He can’t even imagine how hard this has all been for her, but he lets her continue.

“I want mom, I want mom because she’s pretty and smart and funny too but mom is dead so I can’t have her. But if you’re single then she’s still here. Y/N means that she’s not here anymore, because Y/N will be here and you’ll take down her pictures and then she’ll be our mom but she’s not our mom!” Her words are fast and staccato, not really making too much sense but he doesn’t say anything about it. She’s only ten, and she’s just worried and upset about everything.

“And the twins were being so nice and they didn’t seem to care! I just wanted to scream at them! What about mom! Why does no one remember mom?!” A hiccup soon turns into a sob then and he hugs her tighter to him, letting her cry out her frazzled emotions.

“No one is going to forget mom, okay? I’m not going to forget her and she’s not going to disappear from this house. She will always be here, because you and your sisters are here. There were always be pictures of her in the house for you and I will always talk to you about her, whenever you want. I miss your mom so much, and I still love her. My relationship with Y/N doesn’t mean that she’s going to be forgotten, because she isn't. She is important to all of us and Y/N knows that. She doesn’t want to take your mom’s place, because that place is your mom’s, like I said before.” Pressing a kiss to her head again, he swallows and contemplates how to continue.

“I won’t ever expect you to call Y/N mom, and neither will she. I know you Soo-ah, and I know this is hard for you. Harder than for the twins, because you got five with your mom. But don’t be mad at them. They don’t know any different than it just being us four. They never got to have mom with them, so to them this is all new. I just...I love you all, and I don’t want to hurt any of you.” The final sentence is whispered and he feels more than a little despair.

Silence falls between them for a while before Soo-ah speaks once more.

“Tell me about mommy. Was she nice?” He’s nodding before he even realises it, flicking through his memories of the 7 years he had with Yoo-jin before finding a story for her. And so for the next hour, he proceeds to regale his daughter with all the stories of her mom that she’d never heard before. Stories he’d forgotten over time, but now remembered so vividly.

Glancing at the photograph on the other bedside table of her, his heart hurts as he remembers his beautiful wife. Kissing Soo-ah’s forehead, he smiles down at her.

“You look just like your mom. I know that she’d be so proud of you, you’re such a good girl. I know that she loves you a lot, just like I do. Don’t ever doubt that, okay? No matter what happens, I love you and your mom loves you too.” Soo-ah’s eyes fill with tears once more and she sniffles.

“I’m sorry daddy. I’m sorry I was mean to Y/N. I don’t hate her.” He laughs softly, pulling her back into a bear hug and squeezing her until she giggles, the sound making his heart soar.

“I know you don’t. I know you Soo-soo, and you’ve got too big of a heart to ever hate anyone. She knows that too.” Soo-ah quietens after that and he hums lightly, some song he heard a long time ago but can’t remember the name of. It seems to be working as Soo-ah’s eyes droop closed and she fights desperately to stay awake.

“Tell her I’m sorry. I’ll be nice next time. I swear,” She mutters, voice thick with sleep and he grins and acknowledges it. “Will she still let me ride her horse?”

He desperately wants to laugh at that and part of him wonders how much of this is because she wants to ride a horse. But he’s not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, pun fully intended. He would give Artemis a big, juicy carrot whenever he saw her.

“She’d be happy to. If you want to, then I’ll let her teach you how to ride as well.” A tiny noise of happiness leaves his daughters mouth but she doesn’t say anything further, eyes closing finally before she’s fallen fast asleep.

He doesn’t expect this to be the last time she’ll have an issue with him dating you, in fact he fully expects more issues as she comes to terms with her feelings regarding the whole thing. But at least she came to him and told him what was upsetting her. And more than that, she had apologised for her behaviour. He wanted to apologise to her as well for putting her into the situation, but instead he was just going to have to make sure that he paid more attention next time.

For ten minutes, he simply enjoys the happiness he feels from the reconciliation with his daughter and the exultation he feels at the fact he’s not having to go to sleep with her angry at him. Finally though, he gets up and carefully takes her to her own bed, musing to himself how he ended up doing this with every daughter tonight when he hasn’t had to put Soo-ah to bed like this in years now.

When he gets back to his own, he sees the message icon on his phone blinking and eagerly jumps back into bed, turning the screen on to see that you had finally texted him.

[9:31pm] Y/N: I’m home :)

[9:31pm] Y/N: I stopped at the store and they had a 2 for 1 on your shampoo.

[9:32pm] Y/N: You can keep one here and take the other home :)

[9:32pm] Y/N: Also bought a candy bar. I’m eating it now. Mmmm

He grins at your texts and shakes his head before his fingers are flying across the screen, typing out his own response.

[9:35pm] Hoseok: Mean, you know I can’t eat candy

[9:36pm] Y/N: We established that was a lie yesterday Mr Jung

[9:36pm] Hoseok: :(

[9:36pm] Y/N: I’d share my candy with you :)

[9:37pm] Hoseok: Ha. Thanks. For the shampoo too <3

[9:37pm] Hoseok: I just put Soo-ah to bed. She came to me. Told me why she was mad. She says sorry

[9:38pm] Y/N: She doesn’t need to apologise! She’s allowed to be mad. Is she okay?

[9:38pm] Hoseok: Yeah, it was exactly what I thought. Worried about her mom. I just have to make sure she knows I won’t forget her

[9:39pm] Y/N: You won’t. I don’t want to take her place. Even though I kind of am but you get what I mean

[9:40pm] Hoseok: I do. And I love you for it

[9:40pm] Y/N: I love you too

[9:41pm] Hoseok: She also wants to know if you’ll still let her ride Artemis

[9:42pm] Y/N: Lol, of course!

[9:42pm] Hoseok: Kinda said you’d teach her how to ride too

[9:43pm] Y/N: Haha, again, of course. I’d be happy to for you :) and the twins if they want

[9:43pm] Hoseok: Thank you. I’m gonna sleep now. I love you <3

[9:43pm] Y/N: I love you too <3

He grins at the final message before placing his phone on the bedside table and looking at the picture of Yoo-jin and him on his own table. Smiling softly, he reaches out and brings it closer to him, rubbing his thumb over her face beneath the glass.

“I hope you’re okay with this baby. I’m sorry you can’t be here, I wish you were. I hope you’re not mad at me for being with Y/N. I think you’d approve though, I really love her a lot already and she makes me so happy. I miss you, but I hope you’re okay with me moving on. I won’t forget you though, like I told Soo-ah.” Placing the frame back on the table, he turns off the lamp and curls up beneath the covers with a sigh before drifting off to sleep, his dreams filled with his daughters, you and Yoo-jin as a happy family together.

2K notes · View notes

wonderlandmind4 · 4 years ago

Text

Delicate Stages of Life: 26

We’re In the End Game Now

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC; Platonic Steve Rogers x OFC

Summary: Life in Wakanda is filled with love, laughs, some tears, all emotions, lazy days, goats, hot springs, a soul connection, and something dark that looms over Bucky’s and Ana’s domestic bliss…

Warnings: Language. Angst. Slight grief. Apologizes

Words: 12,236

A/N: (Do not read unless you’ve read Delicate Stages first) beautiful moodboard by @afewmarvelousthoughts and thank you for all your help and tears and yelling at me. (gif not mine) PS. I snuck a Hamilton lyric in here

One month later finds Ana sitting on the couch, watching while Alex is content to scoot herself around in an army crawl with a toy in her hand, when Carol hops over. She scoops up the little girl, spinning her in the air and making her giggle uncontrollably, before she plops down next to Ana.

Immediately, Ana knows something is up, as the other woman presses the side of her body to hers, and can feel the reluctance radiating off of her. Alex babbles and drools happily in her lap after Carol hands her a teething toy. She glances at Ana with an awkward expression.

“I get the feeling whatever you’re about to say isn’t going to be good.” Ana notes tautly, narrowing her eyes.

“Depends on your definition,” Carol replies. “Helping others is good. Missing me? Not good.”

“Who says I’ll miss you?”

Carol sticks her tongue out. Ana returns the gesture but can’t contain her grin afterwards. She turns her attention to the goat sock halfway off her daughter’s foot, fixing it in place. Carol turns the baby around after that, pulling her up to help her stand on wobbly legs as she bounces.

“So, you’re leaving again.” Ana sighs.

“There’s been more odd and unnatural blips on my radar from other planets,” Carol informs, she keeps a smile on her face for the baby’s sake. “Unfortunately they don’t have the teams like the Avengers to help them. Which is where I come in.”

“Still?”

“Yeah. I got a message from the Skrulls requesting my help. From there, I’ll check out other planets.“ Carol then meets her eyes. “I’ll be gone for a while.”

Slumping down into the cushions, Ana tilts her head to lean against Carol’s shoulder. Alex tips forward, reaching for her mother’s nose, somehow always sensing when she’s off. Scrunching her nose makes her daughter smile, she continues bouncing.

“I understand,” She exhales warily. “I will miss you though. You’re the only one who calms my energy.”

Carol hums. “I don’t foresee another outburst from you, if I’m honest. Sure, I felt a few surges here and there, but ever since Blond Dumbass moved out, you seem to have settled.”

“That’s not because Steve left, it’s because I started going to therapy groups twice a week.” Ana remarks kindly.

“Still a dumbass,” She deadpans.

Ana snorts.

“Natasha has the pager, but I made you one too, in case you need me for anything. We can research more about this connection between you two. It could just be a stronger bond between mother and daughter, considering your powers.”

“I guess,” Ana relents with a shrug. “It’s gotten a little better. When are you leaving?”

“In three days. I’m going to use this time to soak in all the cuddles from this little one. Isn’t that right Sergeant Smiles?”

Carol lifts Alex in the air again, makes funny noises with her mouth, before she lowers her to nuzzle her head against her belly, making high pitched noises. Ana’s lips spread into a wide smile, listening to her daughter’s bubbly laughter that scrunches her whole face.

It’s not long after Carol leaves that Rhodey follows, following a lead on another horrific gang slaughter. Ana catches Natasha in deep thought later that day, her energy thick enough to fill the entire office space.

Leaving Alex in the care of Rocket and Nebula, with some effort to make herself step away, she finally demands Natasha to tell her what’s happening. If those notes Ana saw before have anything to do with Rhodey leaving. If the lead is in fact, Clint Barton gone rogue.

A file is shown, the information inside makes Ana’s knees weak, staggering back into the chair. Clint had lost his entire family after the snap, all evidence pointing to him having turned over a bloodstained murderous leaf.

“I can’t track him,” Natasha informs her, her tone haunted. “We’ve always been two steps behind since I figured out it was him. The horrible thing is, I don’t think I want to find him.”

Flurries of questions fly around Ana’s head, though she pushes them away to get up and gather a clearly upset Nat in her arms. She snaps the file shut, and pushes it off the desk as the first sob breaks past Natasha’s lips.

Five Months Later:

The time came to baby proof the compound as much as possible once Alex began crawling and reaching for anything she could. Especially after she got a hold of the drive spring from Bucky’s rifle that Rocket had been cleaning. Ana nearly skinned him alive for deciding to clean a gun- unloaded but still- in the presence of a baby. Though as Ana tightened the last baby gate, she sat back wishing her baby girl wasn’t growing up so fast.

Slowly, while Alex continues to grow and develop, Ana has begun to heal a small bit of herself. The pain is still immutable, it’s hard to breath some days, and some nights leave Ana waking up in tears. Her daughter though, with her sunshine smile and sparkling blue eyes is one of the only things that helps her get by everyday.

At 11 months old, Alex utters her first word on a rather bad day for Ana. She had woken from the same dream she hadn’t had for a month, and the rest of the day had the connection between her and her daughter just as strong as that first day. When Ana absolutely had to leave her in Natasha’s keen watch, Alex cried.

“Ma, ma, ma, mama!”

She had come running into the room the second she heard it, Natasha smiling brightly at her. Ana gathered her baby in her arms, comforting her and kissing her all over her cheeks. Pride and happiness blooming through her chest had overcome the breaking of the connection.

Just two days later, when the littlest Barnes girl was close to sleep, Bucky’s lullaby soothing her, Alex utters her second word.

“Da.”

Half awake, Ana hums, patting her bottom as she rocks her in the chair. The word settles in her ears, slowly registering in her brain. Her eyes fly open, staring down at Alex, pointing to the projection of Bucky’s beautiful face.

“Did you just-?” Ana trails off in shock.

For the past two months she had been pointing to the screen every time it played, telling her daughter the man on the screen was her dad. She figured Alex wouldn’t actually understand it at her age or even make the connection.

Her curious, blue eyes flicker up at her mother, the tiny little spots of brown more defined within the fibers. The little indent in her chin has turned into a prominent dimple, and whenever she laughs, a wrinkle forms by each eye. Alex is looking more and more like her father, and her developing, charming personality breaks Ana’s heart in every good and bad way. She sees Bucky’s in their daughter’s eyes everyday.

“Y-yeah, baby girl,” Ana chokes with tears in her eyes, pointing as well. “That’s dada.”

Alex moves her focus back to the screen. “Da...da.”

“That’s right, Alex. Oh my sweet little bean.” Ana leans down to kiss her head. “That’s your daddy. The best man I’ve ever known.”

Snuggling deeper in her arms, Alex finally succumbs to sleep, Bucky’s singing calling her to dreams.

***

Coming home from group therapy sessions usually drains Ana, always ready to take Alex and head to bed each time. Her abilities just mean she’s able to feel the weight of emotions and people’s energies in the room. Sometimes it doesn’t affect her, but on the heavy days it leaves a dark cloud hovering over her; a thunderhead of grief and pain soaking her bones.

Ana is sort of thankful that the effects of the super soldier serum while she was pregnant wasn’t permanent. Otherwise she’d be more oversensitive than she already was. The group leader on occasions, would pull her aside offering one on one time instead, in case the atmosphere got too much for her senses.

This time, as she drags her feet through the door, empty cardboard cup of coffee in her hand, she’s determined to find Natasha. She stops in the kitchen for supplies first, then heads off in the direction of giggling and music.

She finds Nat and Alex in the spy’s room, a kid’s movie playing on her TV. It looks like Natasha had just finished dancing with Alex, a delighted grin brightening her little face. When she spots Ana she nearly throws herself out of the woman’s arms in her attempt to greet her mom.

Once safely on the floor, Alex wobbles as she stands, then falls onto her hands and hurriedly crawls over until Ana scoops her up with one arm. She kisses her daughter hello, then holds up the wine bottle she grabbed.

“Rough session?” Natasha guesses, hopping on her bed.

“More of a rough revelation,” She replies, handing the bottle to her.

She hugs Alex to her body before she sets her down in the activity chair, continuing to focus on the bright movie and entertain herself with toys. Crawling into the bed, Ana lays back while the other woman pulls open the cork from the bottle with a knife. Ana glares pointedly as Nat shrugs and puts the knife back in it’s hiding spot under her pillow.

“Intrigue,” Natasha muses, taking a long sip from the bottle.

“Natasha,” Ana begins as she sits up. Nat picks up on her somber tone, straightening up to meet her gaze. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

She frowns, opening her mouth to respond before Ana holds up her hand to stop her. “What I did, shutting off my emotions, how I treated you and Steve. I am truly and deeply sorry.”

“Ana,” Nat sighs. “It’s okay.”

“No, no it’s not. It wasn’t.” Ana admits, spinning her wedding rings around. “You keep telling me that, everyone says it’s understandable why I did what I did, but it doesn’t make it any less wrong. I never once thought about how it might affect the people around me. By doing that, I pushed away the only family I had left. I didn’t talk to Pepper for months. I barely talk to Tony. I ruined my relationship with him. With someone who has done nothing but been there for me at my lowest points.”

“Fuck,” Ana huffs, fighting back the sting in her eyes. “I literally drove Steve to move out, but he was right. I was overly attached because I was afraid that if I stopped for one second, all the pain I was holding off would come crashing back.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I realize now how horrible I’ve been. I treated both of you like absolute shit and you didn’t deserve that. You were all just worried and concerned. I was...I was in so much pain, no matter how much I tried to fight it, but I was selfish.”

Natasha had grabbed her hand halfway through her vent. She gently squeezes her fingers. “What do you mean by selfish?” She wonders.

Ana can’t help the rueful chuckle that emits from her lips. “I’m an Empathetic Healer, Nat. I can heal energy. I could have helped; I should have helped and grieved with you.”

“That wasn’t ever expected of you, Ana. We didn’t want you to exhaust your abilities just to help us instead. You had more to deal with at the time, you were newly pregnant and at a high health risk.”

“But I could have-”

“No, you couldn’t, and we would never have asked that of you.” Natasha argues sternly. “That’s the one thing you don’t have to apologize for or feel guilty about. Got it?”

She nods, sniffing. “I’m sorry for putting everyone through that. I was missing Bucky, my family and forgot I still had my family right in front of me.”

After a long pause and hug from Natasha- the somber stretch broken up by the sounds of Alex playing- Nat pulls back and hooks her finger under her chin to make sure their eyes remain on each other.

“You’re family, Ana, that never changed. Apology accepted. Now, I don’t want to hear anymore sorrys from you, just continue to take care of your health. And that beautiful little girl, who by the way, somehow stole the last of my avocado when I wasn’t looking.”

“Do you know how many times I found the nutella Bucky always tried hiding from me?” Ana replies with a smirk.

“Sharp shooter, fantastic hand to hand, hiding anything from you? Utter failure,” Nat deadpans. Ana cackles, rolling her eyes. “Really though, I’m glad you’ve been going to therapy and finally taking care of your mental health.” Then she mumbles, “Unlike Rogers.”

Ana starts. “Wait...what do you mean?”

Natasha winces, quickly grabbing the wine and chugging. Ana narrows her gaze, but takes the break in their conversation to check on Alex, who had been gazing up at her mother with wide blue eyes. Her bottom lip popping out, her expression wrinkled like she was close to crying. Ana soothes her, flashing a bright smile and cooing until her cute face relaxes.

“What’s wrong with Steve?” Ana questions, picking up her daughter and sitting on the bed again.

“I didn’t mean anything by it,” Natasha answers, tickling Alex’s thighs and making her giggle. “Just that we both know how he handles his own guilt.”

“So he did leave because of me.”

A half shrug. “I think it was more along the line of where he felt like he couldn’t face you, or any of us anymore because of his own guilt. He was struggling long before he moved out. I think it got to be too much for him. He saw how you were improving in some ways and figured it was time to deal with his own failure. Those are his words, not mine.”

Ana scoffs in frustration. “I’ve told him none of it was his fault. He shouldn’t feel guilty or carry this weight for the entire world.”

“It’s Steve Rogers.” Natasha reminds her flatly. She takes the cork that Alex just found out of her hands, giving her a small book to play with instead.

Deciding not to press anymore, Ana trades Alex for the bottle of wine, passing her baby over to Nat.

“Are you even allowed to drink that?” She asks, quirking her eyebrow.

“I have enough bottles of milk set aside. Besides, Alex prefers the baby food more these days.” She answers, then takes a long drag.

“‘S that why your coffee intake has skyrocketed?” She smirks.

“Listen. I went a year without caffeine, leave me alone.”

***

Jamie Alexandra Barnes is eleven and a half months old when Ana visits Steve for the first time. He hasn’t visited in five months, despite him saying he would.

Teething is a horrible feat, has been for months. Ana’s heart breaks every time Alex puffs out her bottom lip, wobbling with fat tears in her eyes. Ana is ready to fight the entire world if it meant her baby was no longer in pain.

This time around, her fourth tooth coming in keeps her up during the night, which makes her cranky and fussy. Ana has tried giving her cold teething rings, massaged her gums, among other things, nothing seems to be working that day.

“Oh, Alex. I know, baby girl, I know, I just don’t know what else to do.” Ana hushes, nearly close to tears herself. She continues to bounce and sway with Alex.

She’s been crying for nearly an hour. Even when Ana plays Bucky’s recorded lullabies she remains inconsolable. Ana’s chest tightens the longer Alex cries, her eyes red and her little cheeks soaked with tears. She’s afraid she’ll dehydrate herself if she continues, or run a fever.

The compound is empty, everyone out for smaller missions or research. No one is there to help calm Alex, or take her for just a moment so Ana can figure out what to do. For the first time since she brought her daughter home from the hospital, she’s truly alone. It’s one of the many things she took for granted, and mentally slaps herself for.

It’s times like these that a deep longing ache for Bucky hits her so hard, Ana finally cries herself. With it comes clarity, and without a second thought, Ana quickly gathers the diaper bag, throws a few onesies in and checks the bag for extra diapers and wipes. She slips her shoes on and coat, and quickly hurries through the house. All the while, Alex continues to cry, hiccuping sobs as she presses her face into Ana’s chest. Stepping out of the elevators to the lower garage, Ana coos her daughter all the way. She straps her in the car seat once she unlocks the car.

“I know, I know, Alex, it’s okay, sweetie.” She shushes, kissing her overheated forehead.

She tries giving her a teething biscuit but she refuses it. Ana hands Alex her favorite stuffed bunny gifted to her by Carol before she left, the little girl clutching to it. She tries a pacifier, but Alex just spits it back out. Ana jogs to the driver seat, finally starting the car and taking off.

Within two minutes of driving, Alex’s cries have slowed down to little shuddering breaths, Ana checking on her every chance she gets. When she stops at a light, she reaches behind her to place the pluggie back in her mouth. This time, Alex accepts it, her wet eyes staring in wonder out the window.

“Car rides calm you, got it.” Ana sighs warily. She turns on soft calming music and continues to drive. Not even ten minutes in, she suddenly has an idea; an impromptu road trip.

Two hours later, Ana finally parks. Alex had fallen asleep by the first hour but when she takes Alex out of the car seat, she starts fussing again. She wraps her little puff jacket around her before Ana pulls her out of the car and into the brisk air. Little fists clutch desperately in Ana’s coat, those whimpers the most heartbreaking sounds Ana has ever heard. She shoulders the diaper back, then climbs the stairs of the stoop to get to her location.

“Please, please be here,” Ana hopes, quickly raping her knuckles on the door. She coos at her sniffling daughter while they wait. The door blessedly opens, relief and shock smacking her all at once.

Steve stands in the doorway looking worn out. His gray henley is ripped in places, black sweat pants hang low on his hips, wrinkled. His hair has grown longer and untamed, some strands reaching his ears, and his beard has grown thicker. It’s the sunken eyes with the dark bags that hit Ana the hardest. Like he hasn’t known sleep for days.

“Ana,” Steve breathes out, obviously taken off guard. He blinks, eyes roaming over her once before shifting to Alex.

“Hi,” Ana balances, abruptly thinking it was a bad idea to show up unannounced. She also looks down at her daughter briefly, who is hiding her face, before looking back.

“W-what are you doing here?”

“I uh...I couldn’t get Alex to calm down. No matter what I tried she wouldn’t stop crying and everyone is gone right now. I mean, she did nap in the car for a bit, but she’s reverse cycling right now on top of teething and I just-“

“Come in, come in. It’s freezing,” Steve quickly ushers them inside.

“I’m sorry for just showing up like this but I didn’t know what else to do. I just put her in the car to see if driving would help and then I decided to come here,” Ana explains, barely taking in his rather cozy apartment. “Luckily she fell asleep halfway through the ride. I just- I have no right to ask, but can you help please?”

The sympathy coloring his expression lasts for a second. “Oh, look at this little honey bee,” Steve coos, bending to her level. “What’s got you so upset, Alex, huh?”

Alex sniffles, her face screwing up, a sign Ana knows all too well. Before she starts to cry again, Steve carefully takes the girl from Ana, cradling the baby in his strong arms. Immediately, her bottom pops out, trembling as she stares up at Steve. He coos at her, patting her back, and slowly, her little lip flattens out.

Ana watches in awe, her daughter lifting her little hands to grab his beard. Steve just smiles sweetly at her, starting to make silly faces as he sways her around his living room. Ana drops the diaper bag on his couch, taking off her coat, shaking her head as Alex’s eyes start drooping already. Either her child exhausted herself out with tears, or Steve has just the right touch. Either way, after three minutes pass, Alex’s eyes flutter before closing, out like a light.

“How did you do that?” Ana deflates in disbelief.

He looks baffled himself as he shrugs, continuing to rock the little girl. “She’s gotten so big,” He notes solemnly.

“Yeah...you’ve been away for a hot minute,” Ana levels him with a stern look. His expression turns remorseful, flashing her an apologetic smile. Ana catches the time on the stove in his kitchen, reading 6:35pm. “Told you she wouldn’t forget you. You can sit with her if you want. Hopefully she won’t wake for a while.”

Steve agrees, carefully sitting down on the armchair. Ana chooses the other couch, tucking her good knee under her as she sits on the seat closest to Steve’s.

“I have a confession,” Ana informs, keeping her voice low so as not to wake her daughter. “I also came here to apologize to you.”

Steve adjusts himself, sitting back in the single armchair to get comfortable with Alex. “I should apologize too.”

“Can I go first?” She requests sheepishly. When Steve relents with a nod, she continues. “I’m sorry, Steve, for everything. I-I don’t regret turning off my emotions when I did, for the sake of Alex. I do regret what it did to you, how I treated you the entire time, and after.

“You were right, I was hiding behind Alex for a while. She was the only thing keeping my pain at bay and it was much easier to focus on her than coping. I never meant to keep you at arms length. I didn’t realize doing that would make you think I didn’t want you around my daughter.” Ana exhales shakily. “She’s Bucky’s daughter too. You’re his best friend and it wasn’t right for me to ostracize you. I was just selfish and in too much pain to see that I did.”

She pauses to press her palm to her chest, emotions beginning to surface. “I talked to Natasha about this. I should have helped you guys. I’m a healer for fucks sake, I could have at least lessened the pain.”

“And what, absorb it all in yourself? None of us would have taken you up on that offer.” Steve responds kindly.

Ana sniffs, but the wave of tears is too much to hold off. “Steve. I never wanted you to move out, and I’m sorry I was the main reason you did. You’re one of my best friends, you’re family. I didn’t mean to lose you too.”

Steve’s throat bobs, then he clears his throat softly, blue eyes pinning her to her seat. “You didn’t lose me.”

A mirthless chortle falls from her lips. “It felt like I did. I, uh. I’ve been going to group therapy. It’s helped a lot, but there are those days when I look in the mirror and despise who I see, who I’ve become. She’s not me, and it’s taken a long time to even try to get an ounce of myself back.”

Ana hastily wipes away the tears falling down her cheeks, on the verge of confessing a thought she hadn’t been able to shake for months. “The worst part is, the part I can’t stop thinking about, is-is how hurt and disappointed Bucky would be in me. He would hate me if he ever saw what I did. I-I’m not the woman he fell in love with anymore.” The last word breaks on a sob.

Steve shifts, like he wants to console her, before he remembers the sleeping baby in his arms. “Ana, that is not true.” He reprimands fiercely. “Do not go down that road.”

She’s crying too hard to respond, pressing her hand over her mouth to quiet her sobs. Her chest constantly aching with the absence of another soul, with the sheer thought of Bucky looking upon her with disgust. The awfulness began invading her mind once that odd orange dream world stopped frequently visiting her sleep.

“Hey, hey, Ana, honey, look at me,” Steve coaxes leaning forward, careful with Alex. He holds out his free hand for Ana to take, squeezing her fingers. “You’ll get yourself back, even if it’s not the exact version you were before. But I know Bucky would never stop loving you, no matter what. He would be so proud of how you protected and raised your daughter. You fell in love with every single part of him down to his soul. He would still love you the same way you love him. In fact, I believe he’s been watching over you both, smiling down at his best girls. Alright?”

Ana wipes away the fresh tears off her face with her other hand. “Y-yeah.”

“I understood your grief, we all did,” He continues gently. “We never thought you would do what you did, but you’re owning up to it now. You’ve apologized for your actions several times. I forgive you. But Ana, if you don’t start forgiving yourself, you’ll never start to move forward. Holding onto your own guilt will crush you.”

A self-deprecating chuckle emits from her mouth. “Is that what you’re doing then?”

Steve exhales heavily, slowly taking his hand away. “You felt that, huh?”

“I felt it the second you opened the door. How have you really been?”

“Let’s try to lay her down in the bed,” He suggests, standing cautiously.

Ana follows him, both keeping silent when he leads them to his room down the short hallway. As carefully as he can, Steve lowers the slumbering girl to the mattress, slipping his arms out from under her. Alex shifts, Ana biting her lip and crossing her fingers that she doesn’t wake. Steve places a hand back on her head until she settles.

Once they’re in the clear, both adults settle on either side of the small child, in case she decides to roll over. Ana lightly strokes her fingers through her daughter’s growing hair, that connection between them, although still present, had faded into a delicate hum over the past months.

“Have you been getting enough sleep?” Ana inquires with a pointed look.

Scratching his untamed beard, Steve answers, “Not for the past few nights. Nightmares fucking suck.”

Ana wholeheartedly agrees. “And...otherwise?”

“I found a support group myself. Been going for a month now. I was asked if I wanted to lead another group.”

“Wow, that’s...is that something you’re up for?”

“Maybe, down the road. How can I help others if I’m still holding shit in myself?”

Ana hums. “Founds familiar.”

“Come with me,” Steve requests, getting off the bed and grabbing a thick plush blanket.

He shifts his pillows around Alex, making a little barrier. Ana does the same, then follows Steve when he opens the window to the fire escape. The burst of frigid air bites at her skin, Ana closing the window to keep the warmth in the room.

There’s a single chair, and a tiny try table with a sketch pad on it. Vaguely Ana thinks the set up is a fire hazard, but then again, Steve has a habit of not using stairs. He turns the chair and offers the seat to Ana, placing the warm blanket over her lap. She has a perfect view of Alex sleeping on the bed inside. Steve settles next to her on the second step.

Abruptly, the energy surrounding Steve morphs, a dismal tinge weighing heavily in the air like the threat of rain. It pulls Ana’s gaze from her daughter to him. Steve wrings his hands together, pressing his fingers between the spaces of his knuckles, his eyes focused on them, long lashes fanning over his cheekbones. The gleam of a wet track reflects off the light emitting from his room, carving a year of grief down his face.

“Steve,” Ana cajoles gently.

A shuddering inhale. “I’ve been wallowing in my own guilt and failure,” Steve confesses thickly. “I have been since it happened. I moved out because I couldn’t handle it, I couldn’t control how I was feeling anymore. I just couldn’t keep up that strong facade of knowing what to do, of pretending to come up with a way to fix everything. And I’m not blaming you, but I was so focused on making sure you weren’t drowning...I sunk myself.”

Steve’s voice wavers, but he doesn’t stop what comes next. His face screws up, pressing his knuckles to his mouth for a moment. “I lost my best friend, my brother. I couldn’t save the world, I couldn’t save Bucky.” A heart wrenching sob distorts his words. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save him for you, for his beautiful daughter. I failed the universe, and I haven’t been able to forgive myself.”

Ana tries to keep her own tears at bay, but Steve’s shoulders shake as he full on sobs and breaks, she can’t help it. She scoots closer, pulling Steve into her arms, his face pressed into her shoulder, her arms wrapped around his back. She doesn’t know how long they stay like that; Steve’s sobs and heartbreak soaking into her shirt, into her bones. Ana just holds him as tight as she can.

Finally, after what feels like hours and temperature dropping with the threat of snow, Steve’s sobs come to an end. Slowly he pulls away, sitting up and wiping his cheeks and nose with his shirt. Ana gives him time to collect himself, cleaning her own face with her sleeve. Her eyes shift to Alex, still napping on the bed, a small victory if she continues to sleep through the night.

A calloused yet tentative hand over her left pulls her attention back to Steve. He briefly touches her wedding rings. Ana searches his face, cheeks flushed from crying. His eyelids swollen, his beard damp and the bags beneath his eyes have darkened. His licks at his dry, cracked lips; Ana making a mental note to make him drink water when they go back in.

When Steve speaks again, his voice is raw with emotions. “I needed to deal with my own pain and healing if I was going to keep my promise to Bucky,” He tells her, pulling his hand back. He meets her gaze. “I know leaving broke it anyway. I apologize for that.”

“It was a little malicious of me to throw that at you,” Ana admits, suppressing a shiver. She pulls the blanket up to her shoulders. “We may have said some things to hurt each other, unintentionally or not. I’m sor-”

“I think there’s been enough apologies to last a lifetime,” Steve chuckles lowly.

“In that case, no more sorrys. We’ll just try to move from this point, little by little.” Her teeth chatter at the end, the cold finally getting to her despite the blanket.

“Agreed. Let’s go inside, you’re freezing.”

“Fuck, that’s the truth,” Ana laughs.

The second Ana sets her foot down on the wood floor, Alex sits up as if she could sense her mother. That bottom lip popping out, those ice blue eyes of hers searching for Ana. Cringing, she rushes over, cooing and hugging her child.

“Did you happen to bring the kimoyo bead?” Steve inquires, shutting the window.

“Never go anywhere without it,” Ana answers, rocking Alex back and forth. She looks at the clock on his side table. “Ugh, she only slept for an hour. This reserve cycling is rough.”

“Maybe she’s hungry. What did you bring? I can make something for her.”

“There’s a bottle, but also cheerios and fruit. There’s rice too, if you want to heat that up a bit.”

Steve quickly exits. Ana bundles up Alex, the sleepy girl sweetly cuddling against her chest as they follow him out.

Later, after Alex had eaten and Steve ordered some pizza, he offers to try to put her asleep once more. He convinced Ana to stay the night, considering the snow beginning to fall and the streets being slick.

“I’m not staying just to kick you out of your room, Steve,” Ana scolds, crossing her arms.

Steve rolls his eyes. “Alex is already sleeping in my bed, it makes sense to be there with her. Unless you want to sleep on the lumpy couch.”

“It’s close to the coffee machine.” She smirks.

“Don’t be a pain in my ass, Barnes,” He teases with narrowed eyes. “Go sleep in the damn bed.”

“Fine,” Ana relents, dropping her arms. “But only if you make coffee in the morning.”

Little fingers drag Ana out of sleep, the fingers tracing over her lips before pulling down her bottom one. Inhaling slowly, coming to terms that she now has to wake up, otherwise her daughter will force her awake by promptly shoving her fingers up her nose. It’s happened three times before. Finally, Ana opens her eyes, rubbing the last traces of blissful sleep away. She makes eye contact with Alex, then gasps and closes her again. Alex giggles, her hand tapping over her mom’s eyelids.

Ana peeks one eye open, and the bright smile Alex greets her with melts her heart. In a quick but safe motion, she hugs her daughter close, roaring softly before attacking her with kisses. Gleeful cackles fill the room, Alex trying to push Ana away weakly. Ana stops, pressing one last kiss to her cheek. Then her daughter leans closer, connecting her forehead with her mother’s. Both girls remain like that for a minute, Ana staring sweetly into her baby girl’s blue eyes, counting the flecks of golden-brown in them.

Once Alex is changed, both of their teeth brushed, Ana exits the room by holding her little hands and helping her walk with clumsy steps down the hallway. Watching Alex attempt to walk pangs at Ana’s heart; her daughter growing up way too fast.

“Whoa, who is this little Coffee Bean strutting in here on a mission!?” Steve greets brightly, bending down to Alex’s level. “Has she tried walking by herself yet?”

“Not quite there, but soon,” Ana says. “I might cry when it does.”

Chuckling, Steve opens his arms for Alex, the little girl abruptly letting go of Ana’s hands to trip into his arms. Ana laughs through the small pang of their shared connection clenching her heart. It’s easier to ignore now. Steve greets Alex with a kiss on her head, standing up with her in his hold.

“Did you girls have a good sleep?” He questions, bopping Alex on her nose. She responds by grabbing his beard.

His oddly light tone makes Ana suspicious. She gives him an unimpressed look. “As if you didn’t stay up all night listening for any sign if we didn’t,” She replies flatly.

His smile is sheepish. “It wasn’t the whole night.”

“Uh-huh. Where’s my coffee, punk?”

“I swear you two were the same person at times,” Steve grumbles, passing Alex back to her. But the teasing glint in his eyes makes Ana smile with the grace of the Cheshire cat at the comparison of Bucky. He rolls his eyes, then messes up her already messy hair. She glares as she fixes her hair.

“She slept better this time, thank god.” Ana sighs, inhaling the aroma of the coffee he handed her. She pauses, narrowing her eyes. “Steven Grant Rogers. Is this decaf?”

He winces, taking a big step backward. “Yes it is.”

“No!” Alex suddenly chirps, then continues to munch on the piece of banana Steve gave her.

Steve blinks. Ana kisses her daughter’s head. “That’s right, Bean. Tell Uncle Stevie that depriving your mama of real coffee is a no-no.”

“You’re more yourself than you think,” Steve tells her, switching his mug with hers. His happy grin earns him one in return.

Steve finishes making breakfast, both adults making small talk while Alex chatters away with her baby language, a mix of “mama” and “no” thrown in. Ana sets a plate of scrambled eggs and the rest of the banana Steve cut up for her daughter. She gets half of it on her cheeks and clothes instead of her mouth.

After breakfast and a change of clothes for Alex, Ana offers to help with Steve’s energy. He allowed them to stay the night, offered his bed to them and cooked breakfast, the least she can do is transmute any of the heavily dark energy he has. When she says this much, Steve casts her a stern glare.

“When’s the last time you actually used your abilities?” Steve inquires. He’s been playing on the floor with Alex and the coasters she pulled off the coffee table.

“I’ll be fine, trust me.” Ana convinces. “I won’t go crazy, just enough to help you sleep better at night.”

“Okay,” He relents, then holds up one finger. “On one condition. Let me take Alex out of the house, and you nap for an extra hour or two before you drive back.”

“Deal!”

Two hours later, Ana rolls over and nearly falls off the bed, forgetting it’s not hers. She laughs at herself, untangling her legs from the comforter, groaning as she stretches. The faint sound of a familiar Disney movie reaches her ears; one she knows captures Alex’s attention for a while.

Using this time, Ana begins to gather anything she took out of the diaper bag and packs it away. She carefully places the kimoyo bead on the side table back in it’s safe place, then checks the room twice over for anything she may have missed. When she makes her way to the living room, Ana stops, mouth dropping.

“Did you buy all this?” Ana gapes, staring at several items scattered around.

Steve looks up from his task of helping Alex place colorful rings on a cone. “Hey, good nap?”

“Very, thank you. What is this stuff?”

“Alex told me, in a very serious manner, that the next time she visits, her uncle should be more prepared for her arrival.”

“Did she now?” Ana questions sarcastically, a smile teasing her lips. “She can be very adamant in her gibberish.”

“Very persuasive,” Steve nods vigorously. “Probably gets that from Nat.”

“Steve,” She laughs, gesturing to the stuff.

Sitting in the far corner next to the couch is a play pen that doubles as a crib. There’s a small stroller still in its box, a few toys, some music with lights, books and puzzles are on the table. Ana spots a little stuffed bear wearing a blue jacket propped up against Alex’s side.

He scratches the back of his neck, shrugging. “I hope it’s not imposing, and I’ll return it if it’s an issue. I just figured, well I was wondering if you two wanted to visit more often, Alex could have her own little play space.

Ana balks. “You want us to visit more often? Are you sure that’s not invading your own time and sp-“

“See the thing is, when you give yourself space, sometimes you miss the people you were spacing yourself from. Two way street though. I’ll come visit, like I said I was going to. Might get an ass kicking from Natasha though.” Steve winces at the thought.

Nodding in agreement to his statement, Ana goes to sit on the couch, brushing her hand over Alex’s head. She gives no mind to Ana, clearly captivated with her new toys. Steve grabs the bear next to the little girl, handing it to Ana. She raises a curious eyebrow.

“I saw it and I’m not sure why. It reminded me of Buck,” He says, avoiding her gaze. “Think it’s the jacket, like the one he wore during the war.”

She brushes her fingers over the jacket, a soft smile on her lips. “It’s cute.”

A slew of emotions roll through her chest, coming to a realization. Ana showed up on Steve’s door step, unannounced five months after he moved out. He has been trying to heal, process the death of his friends, process his own guilt and yet Steve welcomed them into his safe haven. He eagerly helped with Alex, had put her to such a state of comfort she fell asleep almost immediately. Steve had opened up, showed his broken vulnerable side, cried together and had forgiven her. He allowed them to spend the night, and just went out of his way to take Alex around the city, coming back with gifts in hopes for more visits.

Ana has no doubt for what she does next.

“Steve,” She speaks softly. He looks up from Alex, eyes patient, curious. “Will you be Jamie’s godfather?”

Steve freezes. Ana doesn’t think he even breathes for several seconds. She fiddles with the bear in her hands as she waits, straightening out its jacket. A delightful coo from Alex on the floor when she pressed a button on a new toy seems to finally shake Steve back.

“A-are you sure?” He breaths, uncertainty all over his face.

“Absolutely.” She confirms. “I asked Natasha to be her godmother about a month ago. I mean, she could fill both parts but-”

“Yes! Yeah, I would be honored too.”

Ana beams at him, earning back the truest grin she’s seen on Steve in over a year.

Later that afternoon, Ana gets Alex ready to head back north, changing her diaper and pulling on her jacket. Steve holds her while Ana triple checks that she has everything in the diaper bag. She spots three white envelopes, remembering the invitations she made at the beginning of January. She pulls one out.

“Oh, here,” She says, handing it to Steve. “Alex turns one in a few weeks. I would love for you to come.”

His face melts into something fond, kissing the little girl’s forehead. “Jesus. A whole year already.”

“Yeah, we’re not gonna talk about it. My baby is growing way too fast,” Ana chokes up a little, blinking away the sting in her eyes. “So, will you come? Please?”

“I wouldn’t miss it.” Steve promises, then he tickles Alex on her thighs. “Huh, little Coffee Bean? You gotta stop growing so fast!”

“Eeb!” She squeals gleefully, tucking her head to his chest.

“Uh, I think that means Steve,” Ana chuckles.

Steve hugs Alex tighter. He brings her out to the car, strapping her into the safety seat, giving her one last kiss, and tucking the new bear he got her next to her bunny. Ana waits until he shuts the door. When he turns, she hugs him, arms squeezed around his torso. Steve returns the hug, and the familiarity of family washes through her; their emotions calmer than they have been.

“Thank you, Steve, for everything.” Ana mumbles into his shirt.

“Don’t even mention it,” He tells her, his arms a vice grip around her shoulders. “Really, I promise to visit when I can.”

They break apart, walking to the drivers side. Steve opens her door, then closes it once Ana is settled and clicks her seat belt on.

“Drive safe, and please, let me know when you get back.” He commands.

“I will. Alex, baby, can wave bye-bye to Uncle Steve?” Ana questions lightly, looking over her shoulder. Alex lifts her hand, scrunching her fingers quickly and smiling.

Steve waves back, laughing. As Ana drives away, she feels much lighter than she had for the past year. Any lingering tension between her and Steve has finally dissipated.

One Year and Six months later . July 2021. Three years after snap:

Ana has to be sneaky, quiet as she peers around the corner, the anticipation of being caught a high risk. She startles at a small noise, quickly presses herself as close to the wall as she can, squeezing her eyes shut, hoping her position won’t be compromised. Abruptly a voice calls out.

“Fond yuuoo!”

The little voice squealing with excitement breaks Ana’s faux spy mode, yelling in delight as well. She scoops up her daughter, spinning Alex around as she giggles uncontrollably.

“Yes you did, Bean!” Ana exclaims, kissing her sweet face. “Good job!”

A round of hide and seek has been going on for the past ten minutes. Alex has immensely enjoyed hiding under blankets and popping out to “scare” her mother. Somehow, she found one of Bucky’s jackets in the open closet, choosing to hide under the leather. The sight of her big blue eyes peering over the collar was so cute, that the pang throbbing in Ana’s heart didn’t last long.

“You’re such a good little spy! Auntie Nat would be so proud!” Ana cheers.

The toddler laughs again, planting a sloppy kiss on her mother’s lips. She makes a loud muah! sound when she pulls back. “Mommy’s ‘urn!”

“My turn? I go find you now?”

“Yes!” Alex squirms as a way to be let down. Ana complies, making sure her little feet are on the ground before she lets go. Halfway through running away, Alex stops and turns to look back at her mom. “I hungree.”

Ana can’t help but chuckle, her daughter just too adorable for her own good. She bends down, opening her arms just as Alex runs into them. “How about I just eat you for lunch instead?”

She pretends to munch on her shoulder, down to her belly. Her daughter’s joyous laughter is a beautiful symphony filling the air. It’s been one of Ana’s favorite sounds in the entire universe for the past two and a half years, right next to Bucky’s lullaby. It’s moments like these when the energy connection Ana shares with Alex feels stronger, despite the intensity of it fading over the years. It still remains, just not as potent, which has made it much easier for them to be away from each other for a few hours or even a weekend.

“Mama!” Alex pats her hair, curling her fist in the strands. “Pway daddy’s song.”

Ana smiles sweetly, emotions always flaring up when she asks about Bucky’s recording. She pushes her chestnut hair away from her eyes, the golden-brown flecks glimmering in the sea of blue. She fondly kisses the little dimple in her chin.

“How about we go get some yummys, then we can listen to daddy’s song. Sound good?”

“Nummy, nummies!” Alex shouts happily. “Auntie Nat too!”

“Yes, we can make breakfast for Auntie Nat too.”

The second the words leave Ana’s mouth, Alex with the graceful skills a two and a half year old should not have, maneuvers herself out of her mother’s arms, and takes off running. Hurriedly, Ana goes after her, her right knee joint popping as she stands. Vaguely she wonders not for the first time, if the serum has affected Alex yet. She has better hearing, and faster running than any other toddler she’s seen.

“Come back here, you little bean!” Ana teases, just seeing her little girl disappear down the hall towards the office. “Nat! Little monster incoming!”

When Ana skids into the office, she has to halt herself. Alex stopped in the middle of the room, staring at something. She turns, lifting her arms to her mom. Picking her up, Ana follows her gaze.

“Steve!” Ana starts in surprise. “Hi. Did we know you were coming today?”

“Impromptu visit,” He shrugs, wiggling his fingers at Alex. Once the little girl realizes who is in the chair, she waves back animatedly. She might not have recognized him without his beard, his face now clean shaven.

“He claims to be checking up on me,” Natasha inputs, her feet on the desk. Her eyes are glassy, the tip of her nose red. She had been crying, and the energy of the emotions settles over Ana.

“I offered to cook,” Steve quips, reaching over to tickle Alex’s foot. She giggles and hides her face in her moms hair.

“Ahh, that explains the tears,” Ana winks, then shoots Natasha a look. The other woman sniffs but flashes a brief smile.

“I threw my egg sandwich at him,” Natasha retorts, her trademark smirk pulling up the corner of her mouth. She fiddles with her hair, now mostly a pretty ombré mix of red and blonde, the length just past her shoulders.

Before Ana can respond, an alert screen pops up in front of Natasha. She opens it with a lazy flick of her hand. A voice echoing through the room stuns them.

“Hi! Is anyone home!? This is Scott Lang! We met a few years ago, at the airport, in Germany!”

All three adults turn their attention to the video screen. Ana feels like her heart ceases, her mouth falling open. She meets Steve’s eyes who quickly meets Natasha's, staring wide eyed at the screen.

“Is this-is this an old message?” Steve stutters breathlessly as he stands.

“Ant-Man!” The video continues, the man chatting away frantically.

“It’s the front gate,” Natasha intones, odd relief coloring her voice.

“What?” Ana whispers, stepping closer. She notes the timestamp at the top of the screen.

Alex pats her cheek, softly saying “Mama?”

“Oh my god. Oh my god!”

“How is this possible?” Steve utters, half in awe, half in disbelief.

“Oh my god, let him in!” Ana demands.

An hour later has Ana with her head in her hands, shaking it back and forth.

When Natasha arrived back with Scott, he began to explain what happened to him in a jumbled chaotic mess of words. Natasha and Steve were able to calm him down, fed him after he nearly lunged for Nat’s leftover sandwich. Ana had to leave to take care of Alex, quickly feeding her lunch and putting her down for a nap. Thankfully their game of hide and seek wore the little girl out, and she was drifting off to dreamland by the first chorus of Bucky’s lullaby.

Now Ana is attempting to soothe herself, keeping her emotions and energy down. Especially after she heard the haunting call of Bucky’s voice in her head again; it’s been four months since she heard it.

“Explain it again,” Ana requests. She rubs her eyes before she looks at Scott.

He nods jerkily, an awkward grimace on his face. “Right. I was in the Quantum Realm. Hope, my...s-she was supposed to pull me out, but Thanos happened and I was stuck in there.”

“For three years?” Natasha frowns sympathetically.

“No, that’s just it. It wasn’t three years for me...it was three hours.” He elaborates. He must notice the skepticism on their faces. “I swear! The rules in there aren’t like they are up here. Time works differently in the Quantum Realm, it’s unpredictable chaos. But what if we could control it and navigate it? What if we can enter it at one point of time, then exit at another point of time? Like- Before Thanos.”

“Like a DeLorean?” Ana questions the same time Steve asks, “Like a time machine?”

“N-no, of course not!” Scott stutters, then blinks. “Well, yes. A-a time machine. It’s crazy...”

Natasha chortles under her breath. “Scott, I get emails from a raccoon, nothing is crazy anymore.”

“You’re talking about possible time travel by entering different points of time through this Quantum Realm.” Ana repeats, musing for the sake of herself. She massages her temples.

This could mean so many things. This could...this could bring back- she swallows the thick lump in her throat, forcing herself not to get any hopes up just yet. She rubs her fingers along her collarbone, chewing the corner of her lip.

“Exactly.” Scott comments. “Is there anyone- who do we talk to about this?”

Both Steve and Natasha stare hard enough for Ana to feel it, lifting her eyes to meet their gazes. All it takes is that split second look for it to click. Falling back against the couch cushions, she exhales heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Fine.” She relents with a grumble, hands thrown up in the air. “But we’re taking Alex.”

Stark Lakeside Cabin: Vermont

Lush green and brown trees blur together like a watercolor painting, the scenic view serene as the nature rushes by. Though staring out the window for the past hour of driving should have settled Ana’s nerves, the sight contrasts with the anxiety rolling in her stomach. She alternates between rubbing the skin of her collarbones raw and twisting her fingers together.

“Mommy?”

The little voice barely breaks through the contemplation of her thoughts, her feelings. If it weren’t for the worry in her daughter’s voice Ana probably wouldn’t have acknowledged her surroundings. A small hand reaches out, gently patting her cheek, a trait Alex has done since she was a baby; especially when Ana’s emotions were surging.

“Sorry, baby girl,” Ana coos, shaking herself out of her stupor. She kisses the tips of her fingers.

“Is sad, mama?” Alex pouts. Her blue eyes round, concerned. Ana swears her daughter has moments of wisdom far too advanced for her age. Maybe it’s their connection causing her to feel for her mother.

Soothing her hair back, Ana says, “No, love. Mama’s just fine.”

“You pway daddy’s song!” The toddler exclaims, throwing her arms up. She suddenly hands Ana her stuffed bear, bunny and her blanket. “Nap, mommy.”

Ana can’t help it, she cracks a wide smile, a tiny chuckle escaping. “Thank you, Bean. You’re the bestest.”

Alex looks proud of herself, leaning as much as she can in her car seat and puckering her lips. Ana tilts the rest of the way, pecking her daughter’s lips, then her nose. When she straightens, she catches Scott gazing at them with a fond expression. However, the flash of blue staring at her from the rear view mirror focuses her attention on Steve.

Once Alex had woken from her nap, the three adults gathered in Ana’s car, insisting the Audi SUV would be roomy enough for the nearly four hour drive. She packed extra clothes, diapers, food and a few toys in the diaper bag before buckling Alex in the car seat. Ana handed the keys over to Steve, opting to sit in the back with Alex and Scott.

Now, Natasha subtly nudges Steve arm resting on the middle console, his eyes snap back to the road.

“Okay, what is it?” Ana miffs. “You’ve been shooting me looks for an hour, Steve.”

He shrugs, keeping his eyes on the road ahead. “You sure you’re feeling alright?”

“Because your energy is making it a little dense in here.” Natasha divulges, tossing a pointed look over her shoulder.

“I thought it was just stuffy in here,” Scott inputs optimistically. “I forgot you had powers.”

Groaning, Ana throws the blanket over her head to hide her face. “Sorry,” She mutters. “I wasn’t aware I was doing anything.”

“Eh, you’re lucky the car is still running,” Nat teases. “It is an electrically run system.”

“Nat,” Steve reprimands lightly. “Get your feet off the dash. Have some manners, Romanoff.” His mirthful tone makes Natasha stick her tongue out at him.

“You’re no fun, Rogers. This is Ana’s car, she makes the rules.”

The blanket suddenly yanks off Ana’s head, Alex giggling next to her right. Ana pokes her belly, then turns her attention back to the front.

“I’ll be fine, I’m just nervous,” She bites her lip briefly before continuing. “I’ve spoken to Tony a few times, but it’s the first time I’ll see him in… almost three years.”

Another quick look from Steve in the mirror. “He does know we’re coming. Right?”

Ana slouches as much as she can with the seat belt, grimacing. “Not exactly.”

Steve groans.

“I told Pepper! May have told her not to tell him, just in case he decides to conveniently not be there when we show up.”

“This sounds like it’ll go swell.” Scott chirps sarcastically.

After three and a half long hours and two pits stop for Alex’s sake, they finally arrive at the Stark household in Vermont. The rustic cabin secluded in the woods, sits fifty years from a lake, the afternoon sun glittering in fractals off the surface. The view is beautiful, serene, does nothing to settle Ana’s nerves. Especially when she sees Tony walking up to his cabin carrying his child in his arms. He falters when he spots them before he continues on, turning back once. Natasha throws him a nod, as if the past three years hadn’t happened.

Tony nods back.

“You guys go ahead,” Ana insists, “We’ll be there in a minute.”

Steve’s concerned gaze lingers until Natasha grabs him by the elbow, leading the way for the two men. Ana takes her time unbuckling Alex, her little hands on her cheeks stop her.

“Is sad, mommy.” Alex whines again, patting her hand on her face.

“No, baby doll, I promise. I’m not sad,” Ana kisses her and puts a big smile on her face. “See! Nothing but smiles for my little bean!”

Bringing Alex in through the front door, she greets Pepper with a long hug. Her cousin says hello to her daughter, then leads Alex by the hand to Morgan, introducing the young girls. It’s also the first time Ana has met Pepper and Tony’s daughter in person, but Morgan recognizes her from all the video chats Ana had with Pepper. The children get along immediately, Morgan, now five, shares her toys with Alex.

When Pepper convinces Ana to join the others outside, like a mature thirty-four year old, Ana whines; nerves spiking again. The older woman nudges her towards the door, promising to keep an eye on the girls. Ana quietly steps out on the deck, coming into the middle of their conversation, taking a seat on of the wicker chairs.

“The stones are in the past, we can go back and get them,” Steve is urging.

“We can snap our own fingers, bring everyone back,” Natasha adds.

“Or screw up worse than he already has.” Tony argues.

“I don’t believe we would.” Steve asserts.

“I gotta say sometimes I miss that giddy optimism,” Tony snips. “However, high hopes won’t help if there’s not a logical, tangible way for me to safely execute said time heist. I believe the most likely outcome will be our collective demise.”

Ana bites her the corner of her thumbnail, tuning out their conversation to concentrate on keeping her energy under control. She had a slight feeling Tony would be against their plan, the hurt, the disappointment, the fact that she got her hopes up for even the smallest amount of stings. None of this will work if they don’t have Tony on their side.

Hearing the desperation in Scott’s voice makes Ana pay attention again, closely watching Tony’s face.

“I know you got a lot on the line,” Scott is saying. “A wife, a daughter. But I lost someone very important to me, a lot of people did, and now now we have a chance to bring her back. To bring everyone back, and now you’re telling me-”

“That’s right, I am.” Tony cuts him off with no remorse. “I wish you came here to ask me something, I really do. I’m honestly happy to see you guys, table is set for seven-”

Steve interrupts him this time, stepping forward. “Tony I’m happy for you, I’m really am, but this is a second chance-”

“I got my second chance right here, Cap. I can’t roll the dice on it.”

Ana drops her face in her hands. She listens to Natasha’s gentle decline to stay for lunch, a short exchange of goodbyes and three sets of footsteps walking off the deck. Blowing out a forceful breath, Ana realizes her and Tony are alone for the first time in years. She lifts her head, met with Tony’s stoic gaze as she stands.

“Whatever you’re going to say,” He begins holding up a hand. “It won’t change my mind.”

“I know,” Ana replies softly.

They stare at each other, the air between them filled with unspoken resentment, hurt, anger. Remorse. Ana flexes her hands then curls her fingers, tampering back her urge to transmute the tension between them. The slightest pinched of Tony’s eyebrows breaks it all.

“I’m sorry.” They admit at the same time.

They laugh awkwardly. Tony dips his head, a silent notion for Ana to go first. Shoving her hands through her hair to give her something to do, she counts her breaths mentally before beginning. It’s been three years. Three long, exhausting, heartbreaking years.

Standing in front of Tony now, someone who had become Ana’s family, who had been witness to her most life-threatening moments of her life, is overwhelming. Someone who has grown to care and love her like his own blood. Who had done everything in his power to protect her, to protect Bucky when it came to it. Who accepted Bucky despite their complicated issues. Ana is tired, she missed Tony and it’s time to mend their broken bridge.

“I should have never thrown the arc reactor at your head,” Ana admits earnestly. “I-I was in so much pain, Tony. I was hurting and scared. I lost Bucky and I...I felt when he d-died. I felt him ripped from my soul, I felt the whole world. Clearly I wasn’t in a good place when you rescued, we both weren’t. I don’t think we meant the things we said. I shouldn’t have iced you out-”

“Stop right there,” Tony cuts her off. He makes a motion like he wants to console her, but refrains. “That’s on me. I’m the one who cut you out.”

Ana scoffs. “You weren’t the one who shut their emotions off for months.”

“No, which- don’t ever do that again. Pep’s stress levels- nearly drank the entire wine cellar.”

“That’s a lot of wine.”

Tony chuckles lowly. “No, I didn’t have the talent to turn off emotions, but I may as well have. Cutting you out, not making any effort to reach out. I had time to heal from at least half of what happened. I got lucky. You...you had lost yet another member of your family.”

A lump forms in Ana’s throat, eyes beginning to water. Tony’s eyes glisten.

“I was...Pep and I...we were there for you during every loss, your parents and brother.” Tony puts his hand on his chest. “I should have been there for you when you lost Bucky, even after. I wasn’t, because of my own stubborn ass pride. I am genuinely sorry about that, Ana.”

Wiping the tears off her cheeks, Ana inclines her head, hugging herself. Tony clears his throat, then closes the distance between them, pulling her in for a long overdue hug. She wraps her arms around his chest, gripping his shirt, allowing herself to feel his energy, his emotions. The sensation of forgiveness merging together from them both.

“I’ve missed you, kid.” Tony chokes, his chin atop her head. “I really did.”

“I missed you too,” Ana sniffs. “You’ve no idea.”

Once they break apart, they take a moment to clean their own faces. Ana blows out a breath, looking over her shoulder at the car, Steve, Natasha and Scott waiting patiently.

“Listen,” Ana begins. “I understand why you don’t want to help. You have a beautiful life, a beautiful family. I wouldn’t want to risk that either. It’s why I didn’t come here to convince you.”

“You didn’t just come to apologize either.” He specifies.

“I did not. I think it’s time you meet my daughter. Officially.”

“I would be honored.” Tony grins, like he wasn’t just crying into her hair.

Ana holds up one finger, quickly going inside. She finds Alex playing with Morgan, Pepper watching from the couch. She shoots Ana a questioning look, to which she shoots her a thumbs up. Pepper fist pumps, muttering “finally.”

She gently cajoles Alex to come with her, promising she can say goodbye to her cousin before they leave. Alex clings to her when they step back outside, Tony leaning against the wooden railing. His face brightens when he sees the little girl.

“Tony, this is Jamie Alexandra,” Ana introduces, bouncing Alex once on her hip.

Tony’s entire expression softens as he bends to Alex’s level offering her a soft friendly grin. “Nice to finally meet you, Alex.” He greets with a chipper tone. “I’m your Uncle Tony.”

Alex shies away just a little, hiding her face then peaking out.

“It’s okay, sweetie,” Ana encourages softly. “He’s just old, he won’t bite.”

Tony shoots her a playful glare, then back to Alex, he pulls a silly face. Alex giggles once, then reaches out her little hand to grab at his goatee. His smile widens. “Can I get a high five?”

Alex shoots her hand out, smacking her palm against his. He proceeds to compliment her yellow velcro shoes, getting her to chat back with him. After two minutes, Alex is launching herself into Tony’s open arms, making her mother’s stomach drop to her feet.

“I hate when she does that,” Ana huffs, hand fluttering over her heart. “She’s got the agility of a gymnast right now.”

He hums in thought, hugging the girl to his chest. “Interesting. Those are some strong genes, strong grip too. She’s the spitting image of Barnes.”

A wave of longing and pride floods through Ana. “Yeah,” She exhales shakily. “At least I have a part of him in her.”

“She’s beautiful, Ana.”

“Thank you. She’s a charmer too, just like her father. Won over Nebula in a heartbeat.”

“She’s a softie at heart once you get past that murderous attitude,” Tony chuckles. He sighs, face crestfallen. “I’m sorry I can’t help.”

Ana shakes her head. “Stop. I understand. Just...hold them close, okay?”

“Will you sing daddy’s song?” Alex pipes up, using those baby blue eyes on him. Ana can almost see his heart melting.

“He doesn’t know daddy’s song, Alex,” Ana explains gently, fixing her askew shirt. “But how about we go say goodbye to your cousin Morgan and Aunt Pepper?”

“Okay,” She pouts, that lip popping out.

“What is that face? I bet I can fix that little pout,” Tony coos. “I have a juice pop just for you!”

Once they’re driving on the road again, Ana closes her eyes, wary from the trip and emotions. Alex is chattering away with Scott, the man animatedly responding back to her. Soft music croons through the radio, and the front of the car has been silent.

“What now?” Ana mumbles, rubbing her dry eyes. “We can’t do this without Tony. We have to do this right. If we don’t...I don’t want to get my hopes up and then just- I don’t think I’ll be able to handle losing him again.”

“I agree, which is why we’re making another pit stop,” Steve informs, voice tight around the edges. “It’s on the way though.”

Frowning, Ana wonders why Steve has decided to make another stop on this road trip, and where they could possibly be going.

“When’s the last time any of us saw Bruce Banner?” Ana whispers as they approach the diner.

Steve hikes Alex further up his hip as he steps up to the door. “Two and a half years ago?”

“Let’s hope he’ll go for- whoa.” Scott starts, then abruptly stops.

Ana and Natasha exchanged confused looks, allowing Steve to enter the diner before them. He halts in his tracks. Alex startles, whimpering and hiding her face in Steve’s shoulder, fearfully clutching his jacket. Ana doesn’t even bother to see what scared her daughter, a spike of fear darkening the energy around her baby girl. Steve calmly turns, allowing Ana to take her from his arms.

“You should wait in the car,” He tells her, mystified expression on his face.

Ana peers around his body. “Oh. Oh my- what the hell?”

Waving happily in their direction, is the giant green hand of the Hulk. Dressed in a preppy cardigan sweater, and wearing black rimmed glasses. The sight is a little unnerving.

“What the fuck?” Natasha breathes.

“We’ll be in the car.” Ana states, awkwardly waving back before she turns to leave.

She ends up finding an ice cream place not too far from the diner. Ana allows Alex to sit in the open trunk as she messily licks chocolate ice cream off her spoon. Ana keeps peering into the Diner, noting the disappointment look on Hulk’s- uh Bruce’s- on his face.

As Ana wipes Alex’s face clean with wipes, the three adults exit the dinner with unreadable expressions. Except for Scott, he just looks utterly baffled. After Steve pulls onto the road again, Ana fishes for information.

“Sooo…” She drags out. “How-?”

“Bruce managed to merge himself and the Hulk together,” Natasha informs. “I don’t even know.”

“It was weird right? That was weird? It was weird.” Scott babbles.

“So he’s basically a hybrid?” Ana clarifies. “And yes, it’s a little weird.”

“A lot. It’s a lot weird- strange,” Scott whispers, eyes wide like he can’t unsee what he saw.

Alex tilts her head curiously, then she offers her bunny to him. Scott breaks his shock, accepting the comfort stuffed animal. He gingerly pats her head and proceeds to make a show of cuddling the bunny to his chest. Pride and adoration bloom in Ana’s chest for her daughter.

“Right, well. What did he say? Did he agree?” Ana questions.

“Took a bit of convincing, but yes,” Steve answers, eyes meeting hers in the rear view mirror.

For the first time in three years, Ana allows herself just the faintest ounce of hope.

It takes three days for Bruce and Scott to figure out- hopefully - the Quantum Realm and traveling through it. Ana had stayed well out of the way, Quantum Physics being too far off her scope of practice. Although Bruce tried to persuade her into attempting to control and feeling out some of the energy raging through the portal. Ana refused; not that she possibly couldn’t do it, but she had Alex to think about and if something went wrong well. She wasn’t going to make an orphan out of her daughter.

Now Alex is taking turns feeding Ana her chicken nuggets as they sit at the dining table. The toddler tries to feed her stuffed animals sitting next to her, and Ana doesn't have the heart to tell her that her BunBun and Beary can’t actually eat it. So when she isn’t looking, Ana quickly eats their portions, just to make Alex smile in satisfaction.

Heavy footsteps echo from the entrance, an irritated Steve sped walking past, shaking his head. There’s a cloud of exasperated energy hanging over him, disappearing down the hallway towards his room. Ana stands, straining her ears to listen to what he might be doing. She doesn’t wait long, for he comes stomping back.

“Uh, Steve?” Ana calls cautiously.

“He turned into a baby,” Steve snaps, throwing his hands up in the air as he exits. “A fucking baby!”

Gaping, Ana just blinks, wondering what exactly happened down in the hanger. Then-

“Fucking!”

Ana gasps hearing her daughter’s little voice repeating the curse. She looks down, Alex oddly seems coy, proud of herself and she resembles Bucky so much, it almost makes Ana laugh.

“No!” Ana scolds, but her lips are twitching.

“Fucking!” Alex chirps, munching on a chicken nugget.

“Jamie Alexander, that is a bad word. We do not say that.”

Alex hunches her shoulders, corners of her mouth pulled down, those sky blue eyes round and innocent. Ana holds out for as long as she can, narrowing her eyes with her arms crossed. Alex scoots the rest of her food over to her mother, the right corner of her mouth ticking up. Ana’s heart clenches; daughter of Bucky Barnes indeed.

“Swrry, mama,” Alex mumbles. "Is mad mommy?"

Finally, she cracks a smile. “No, baby doll.” She kisses her forehead and steals one more nugget.

Five minutes pass, Alex carrying her plate to the sink with Ana’s help, when two sets of footsteps alert her. She hands her daughter another juice box, as Steve enters again. Trailing behind him is Tony.

Inhaling sharply, Ana stares at him. Tony being here means one thing. He shrugs, holding up his fist, a strange watch-like gadget wrapped around his hand.

“Figured it out,” Tony announces like he’s noting the weather. “Let’s not harp on it. I was getting bored up there, composting isn’t as thrilling as it sounds.”

Ana exhales on a half laugh. “We’re doing this then?”

The gleam in Tony’s dark eyes sparks a new hope in Ana’s chest.

“We’re doing this.”

****************************************************************

A/N: This isn't one of the favorite chapters I've written so I apologize if it's lackluster or no one liked it. But, it's important to set up for the next chapters and coming to the end of this story.

Drabbles: Twenty-Five Drabbles: Twenty-Seven

Tags: @thecreatiivecorner @buckyland @stressedasalways @watchoutforfrostbite @justreadingfics @keldachick @eurynome827 @elatedmarvel @shesalatesh @paintedgreywriting @buckaroo-blue @afewmarvelousthoughtsadmin @crushedbyhyperbole @jaxthebookworm @gamorazenn @happinessisaloadedgun @je-suis-prest-rachel

#delicate stages of life #delicate stages drabbles #Bucky Barnes x OFC #bucky barnes x ana rios #steve rogers x platonic!ofc #steve rogers x platonic!ana #bucky barnes x original female character #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction

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