#I get you want to vent but k literally have finals and other prep and can’t watch it

[orchestrel]

PLEASE SPOILER THINGS UGH

[fizzingwizard]

I feel a need to write about today minute by minute. It's always annoying to forget details and remember them inconveniently at the wrong time, but not at the right now. And I need to vent as usual lol. Oh work.

At 9:45, I take my students to the bathroom. One pees on the floor. I am calling and calling his name, I am standing next to him, looking right at him, but he is just staring at nothing, peeing on the floor and his shoes. I absolutely do not get it. He was in another world. So I'm dealing with the mess and ask my coworker (A) to switch lesson time with me so she can teach during my slot while I clean.

When I get back to my room, 1 is teaching and the kids are misbehaving. Coworker 2 is there. B2is brand spanking new. Joined us literally last week. She is nice and hard working, I don't think she has much experience with little kids though. I have no doubt she'll get the hang of it soon, but as for now she really doesn't know what to do. I do my best to get the class in order as well as prep for the next things.

1 finishes and I teach my lesson. Challenging student A is crawling around the back of the room. 2 is trying to stop A. I try to tell her to leave him alone. We suspect he's on the spectrum, but he's too young for a diagnosis, so my choice has been to let him take the lead with what he wants to do as long as he isn't a danger to himself or other kids. There is too much pressure on young kids in Japan to be "well-behaved," and while in a school group certain behaviors are important, I'm not trying to force my students to be robots. 2 just isn't familiar with A, but I, the teacher who is familiar with him, have to teach my damn lesson. Then Challenging student I kicks up his usual mid-lesson fuss, so I ask 1 to take him for a walk outside for a couple minutes. I can't go handle him myself because I. Am. Teeeeeaachinggggg. 1 has a tough time with him and the manager gets involved.

I finish the lesson and get my kids ready to go outside. We go to the toilet then have a drink. I ask 2 to help the kids get their water bottles because another student is having a melt down, so I'm dealing with them. When I look over, the kids have all attacked the water bottle basket. They are supposed to sit by the wall and wait for their name to come get their water bottle, but they either didn't listen to 2, or 2 didn't understand how much leadership is needed with toddlers even over very small things. So I have to go and fix the water bottle situation. Then Youngest student K pees all over her pants, despite sitting on the toilet not five minutes ago and refusing to pee, lol. So 1 comes back and changes her. I don't even remember what 2 was doing at this point, but she was occupied with something.

The energy among the kids is Chaos. You get familiar with it. After trying everything in the book, I finally decided we were not in the right atmosphere to go outside. I had them sing a quiet song, fix our listening ears, and then, one by one, I called them by name to chose an activity to do indoors. After a while 1 is done cleaning up K, and I have no idea what 2 was doing. I facilitate everything with the activities and it's the most peaceful it's been all day.

We clean up and then go back to the bathroom. I send 1 and 2 back with about half the class to start getting ready for lunch. When I get back with the rest of the kids, it's loud and crazy, A is crying on the floor, 1 is trying to calm him down, 2 looks like she doesn't know what do first. I give A a hug and he calms down right away. I get my toy megaphone and have the kids sing a song with it. We have lunch. I'm dying.

After lunch: A refuses, as he always does, to clean up his fork and spoon. He throws his jelly cup. 1 takes him aside to explain to him why it's dangerous to throw things. He throws a fit. I don't know this is going on because I'm helping other kids. I don't know what 2 was doing again except for understanding she couldn't be left to make decisions. So I can't leave the room for the next bathroom trip while 1 is with A. She's gone for a while and A is just crying and crying. Finally she comes back, and I just grab 2/3s of the kids and take them to the bathroom. I am not "supposed" to have that many kids with me by myself. But this is the fact: I was better equipped to take care of that many kids than my coworkers were to take care of the few who I left behind with them.

I did have to leave Challenging student TE behind because he was so over the top wild all day, and had just been hitting and poking other kids. Since I had to leave, I had him sit in a chair and told him, as well as both co-teachers, that he needed to sit there for one minute, then he would be allowed to go read a book. When kids are this young, making them sit somewhere to "think about their actions" is totally counter-productive. They forget really fast what they're even supposed to be reflecting on and only remember that they're unhappy. There is no point and it's mean to do it to them. The point of putting TE in the chair was for him to calm down. Ideally I would have been with him, but if you haven't noticed (which I think my school hasn't sometimes!) I am only one person and can't be EVERYWHERE, I DO need support from co-teachers. But I did my best to compromise - since I couldn't be there, I made sure my co-teacher understood TE could leave the chair and read a book, he was NOT in time out or any kind of punishment.

We luck out that being so late means we don't have to compete with other classes for the toilets, and we're done in ten minutes. We get back to the room. Two teachers with a small group of fairly easy kids and the room's not clean yet and the kids aren't all cleaned up from lunch yet. AND!! T is still in the chair. Not only is TE still in the chair, but N has crawled behind him and they're giggling together. This means TE was in the chair for at least ten minutes, WAY too long. (And much longer than I had specifically said!) Also no one was watching N. Again, there were TWO teachers in the room with a small number of kids - so small that it was under ration for JUST ONE OF THEM. I HAD ALL THE REST. BY MYSELF. I want to cry I swear I want to cry just remembering it.

Well anyway! Fizz is back now so let's get things in order. I ask 1 to take the kids who had been left in the room to the bathroom. 2 finishes the cleaning while I watch the class play. Peace finally returns for a while. It's clear we aren't going to do ANYTHING constructive today, but sometimes with toddlers it is what it is. At least they are happy and playing well together for the most part.

So, when 1 comes back, I decide it's time to deal with A. A is extremely, extremely challenging. He is a total sweetheart, but he's got what we'd call a defiant personality. He simply doesn't understands the difference between responsibility and being forced to do things. Choice is very important to him. That is fine in general, but it's not fine, for example, if his choice is to whack another kid with a toy, or to stick his hand down the toilet, etc.

A's mom is trying hard to potty train him, so she is sending him in underwear every day. The problem is, A is defiant about going to the toilet. So he wears underwear but holds in his pee all day until he wets his pants. Our strategy, with mom's approval, is not to force him. Of course we don't force ANY of our kids to do things, but what I mean is, to A, things feel like being "forced" which to other kids are just "mild persuasion." We don't want A to feel that using the toilet is a negative experience where his feelings don't matter. We also know A does much much much MUCH better one on one than in groups. So we have found that if we take him to the toilet AFTER all the other kids have already gone, he can do it.

1 had a hard time with A today because said "it's scary" and "go away" and was rude to her. I did explain that A is only saying these things because they get a result. He's not actually afraid of the toilet. He uses it perfectly fine when he's in the right mood. He also isn't afraid of A, who is, if anything, too nice with the kids lol. He has said the same things to every other teacher as well. It's a power move: he isn't hurt. However, since 1 and A have had a few unproductive clashes all day (and still are: A is refusing to clean up from lunch even now), I decide it's not a good idea to ask 1 to take A to the toilet. However, A still needs to go. It's not good to hold your pee in so long. And having random days where he doesn't get a chance to use the toilet at the usual time is not good for his potty training either.

So I talk to 1 and 2 individually and tell them that I am taking A to the toilet, and that they don't have to do anything except watch the kids play. I tell 2 especially which kids need extra careful watching because they sometimes play rough. It's peaceful when A and I leave the room.

Well, I got A to pee in the toilet no problem. He said "no" only a couple times and then just went and did it. Yay. It took some comforting first but progress is progress.

I get back to the class and - someone bit TA on the hand while I was gone. NEITHER of the two teachers in the room saw it. Full disclosure - it happens. We do our best, but not even pre-K teachers have eyes on the back of their head. But this coming after the entire rest of the day - I just felt like I couldn't leave the room, but also no one else could leave the room when kids needed to. I had to be there and be elsewhere and be with every kid somehow. 1 and 2 tell me they think S bit TA because that's what the other kids said. This is terrible news, because S does not handle being "in trouble" well, no matter how much we reassure she isn't. But I have no choice: I have to take S and TA into the hall so we can talk about what happened.

I have no intention of accusing S of anything teachers didn't witness her do. My intent is to ask her if she bit TA, and when she inevitably said no, to explain to both of them why gentle hands are important during play time, and then let S go back to playing. If no one saw her and she says she didn't, I have to believe her. Besides - in my own opinion, it's unlikely she bit TA. She can get rough sometimes, but it would be the first time she ever used her teeth. TE, however, was a biter in the spring. He got much better for a while, but only a couple weeks ago he bit both me and 1. He bites as a form of play, not in aggression. Since we have a biter in the class, I think it's more likely him than S, who has never bitten another kid before. However, I wasn't in the room at the time, and my impression from what the other teachers told me, just then, was that they thought it was highly likely S had bitten TA. Only later did I find out they weren't really sure. What I would have done if I'd realized is talk to the class as a whole, rather than take one child aside.

S had a total melt down. She's a fighter, thrashes, kicker, and screamer when she is upset. I asked the manager to help because while I speak Japanese, my sometimes awkward grammar can be an impediment to an upset child, or an upset child's voice can be more difficult for me as a non-native speaker to understand. I tell the manager I want S to understand that I am not angry, she is not in trouble, we just want to hear from her if she was involved with what happened to TA, and that if she says she wasn't involved she will be believed. But S is too upset even to listen in her own language. It's clear that she's turned off words completely and is just melting down. In the end, she bumps her head thrashing. It's hardly a bump, and tbh I'm grateful for it, because it calmed her down enough to listen to me offer to take her to get some ice for it. Once I have the ice, she lets me hug her and finally lets me tell her that I love her and she is just fine. I ask her if she did anything to TA. She says no. I say okay, I believe you, shall we go play? And we go back to the manager to say thank you for helping, because I want S to have a good relationship with the manager too.

Get back to the classroom it's 1:40 aaaaaaahhh. I let the kids play a few minutes longer so that after all that drama S doesn't have to immediately clean up the toys when she finally gets back inside. We're late going to the bathroom. Somehow I get all the kids in and out, diapers changed, and ready for good-bye time and I get all their valentines sent home. We don't have time for more than one song, then it's nap time.

During nap time I direct my coteachers (a fourth part-timer, 4, has shown up just before good-bye time - I don't usually have three helpers, but I assume she was added to my room because the manager anticipated, to some extent, how rough we were going to have it with just me and two newbies) to change about five kids clothes. Because yeah, it's February, but holy shit it's HOT outside. I kept wanting to turn off the heat, only to look at the thermostat and realize it wasn't even on! I can't switch it to cool air by myself, so we just had the fan on, but with so many bodies it hardly helped. The kids should have been changed into cooler clothes much earlier. It was just another thing that I couldn't get done by myself. But now we're changing clothes left and right, especially those fleece-lined pants I despise so much. They're nice if you're outside, but little kids overheat in seconds: don't put them in heat-retaining clothes if they're going to be running around a lot, even in winter! Some kids are wearig threeeeeeeeeeee layersssssss. I know it's winter but it's winter in KANSAI it's nOT that big of a deal. We had two weeks below zero which was too cold for my heater, yeah, but only lasted two weeks! It's now warm enough in midday to go out without a jacket even! (Which is weirdly warm for the time of year even here tbh...)

I stay in the nap room through part of my off-duty time to make sure all the difficult nappers go to sleep, because yesterday they didn't, and another classroom teacher who had nap duty with them for a while afterward kept talking about how they were playing during nap but slept because she "didn't let them not sleep." Which made me feel like I was being accused of not being firm enough with them. Again, like I am the only teacher there. To be clear, I don't think that's what this teacher meant to imply. I think she was just talking. It's because I feel so pressured to do everything and to never take my own break time because my own kids need ME and won't accept the other teachers. It isn't because I'm too nice to them. It's because the other teachers are new and inexperienced, or part-timers who barely even know the kids. Of course they don't respond to them as easily. Of course they get better results when I'm there instead. But if I'm always there, I'm never off duty. And even if I never took breaks, I still have to do progress reports, lots of other paperwork, prep crafts and activities, wash and organize things, as well as my own daily assigned cleaning duty. I HAVE to be away from the kids for SOME portion of the day. The other teachers NEED to be able to put the kids to sleep without me!!!

Surprisingly at this point I wasn't feeling super stressed. We had survived the day - a kid got bit, which is never good, but it didn't break the skin, he's perfectly fine, and not to be cavalier about it but I've seen way worse. (Way worse happened in other class the same day actually.) If a class of toddlers gets to nap time safe and happy, the day's a success... that's the bar you shoot for sometimes lol.

But as I'm a huge overthinker, by 3:30 I had starting doom-telling the future, where I continue to have this situation of my kids being wild and me being the only teacher in the room with a voice. Me having to direct not only my students, not only one new co-teacher, but BOTH coteachers. Me having barely any support every day. My usual partner every year, 3, has wanted to quit all year. Her plan was to quit in September. No replacement was found by then, so she was convinced to stay till December. Surprise surprise, STILL no replacement. She agrees to stay till the end of the year BUT only three days a week, and what days those are keep changing. (Also, even on days when she's here, there's enough general chaos that she or 1 get sent to other classes to help them instead. So there's very little stability in my room apart from myself.)

I am questioning whether I should have stayed in the classroom when I left, or left when I chose to stay - I'm questioning every single thing that happened all day and it's like I just can't be everywhere. I need support. I can't be needed with the challenging students because 1 and 2 aren't able to handle them yet, but also needed with the rest of the students because 1 and 2 don't know what to do with so many kids. This is impossible, isn't it? This is ridiculous.

So I talk to the manager. She is very meek - clearly expected something like this. But she doesn't have anything to say. It's not in her power to make the experienced co-teachers we desperately need appear. It is the company's fault for continuing to enroll students even while we're understaffed :) and the majority of our staff now is very inexperienced :) :)

So she can't reassure me that this won't keep happening. (BTW, it's not the first time I had this coworker situation in the classroom - just more my breaking point.) She asks i I want her to talk to my co-teachers. I definitely don't. 2 only started last week - imagine getting a talk from the manager after only one week of work, while barely out of training, even a "nice" talk. 2 is a hard worker and I have no doubt she'll be great when she has some experience, but it's not going to happen fast, let alone in one week. And 1 has been here since June, but it's still her first year, her first job with kids, and she's barely 20. She's also trying super hard. I have no complaints about either of these coworkers that don't amount to they're just not ready for the level of responsibility they inevitably have when there are no more experienced teachers around. (Or only me, I should say.)

I did talk to 1 just to see how she was doing. She is a very upbeat person. I was nervous she would feel I was criticizing her, which is the opposite of what I want, but she was honest about her struggles with A and listened to my advice about letting him take the lead as long as he not dangerous. I also talked to her about letting TE sit in the chair so long and why it's not good for little kids. She was lovely the whole time. She's a very refreshing change from sensitive coteachers who treat every bit of not overtly positive feedback as a personal attack.

I'd like to say that's the end of my crazy day but guess what there's mooooore!!

PART TWO UNDERSTAFFING STUCKS

So like I've talked about endlessly, we've been understaffed all year. Our schedule was created under the assumption that 12 full time teachers would be at the school the majority of the time. The reality of this year, however, is that during our busiest time of day, from 4:00, we have like. Five.

My cluster of classes is particularly affected. I am the ONLY full time teacher there every day. One teacher always leaves at 4, two teachers are sometimes there with me but twice a week go home at 4:30 and may be off duty at 4:00, and one teacher is there till 4:30 but only three times a week. Since November we also got a bunch of part-timers who come in the afternoons. As nice as it is to have their help, they are a big part of the problem: the kids don't know them and they don't know the kids. They tend to sit in silence while the kids play and do very little to stop their misbehavior.

They also can't hand out snack because of allergy concerns. That is the reason why, since the beginning of the year, I have been on snack duty almost every day. As 1 got more accustomed to working here, she now helps with that, and another coworker from another class is there regularly now as well. But because I'm the only one guaranteed to stay at least until 5, it's still usually me. This duty is exhausting because kids are messy and there's a lot to do, and it's been an entire day so your body is ready to give out lol.

But the problem now is less that I'm tired while on snack duty and more that on days when the other teachers are gone from 4:30, I have to do ALL the duties to some extent. Today, for example. 1 left at 4:30. I was the only full-timer. One of the other teachers there is a sub, but one who is usually at our school four days a week. She's been with us all year and does know the kids. It's usually fine to have her in the room, except that she is a very quiet person and not very active. She listens to direction but doesn't necessarily notice things on her own. This wasn't fine today because the other two teachers were both brand new part-timers who don't know the kids.

All three of them were just. Sitting on the floor. Watching the kids play. Changing some diapers and struggling with the fussy kids because they don't know how to handle them. So who handled those kids? I did. I go over and voila, the kid who has been refusing to change her diaper for ten minutes suddenly is changed! Magic.

And the kids playing on the floor: they're gonna fight over toys, right. So who is going to mediate? Not the teachers SITTING RIGHT THERE ON THE FLOOR WITH THEM. Nope. Fizz is gonna have to put the vacuum down, pick my way through the kids with my gloved hands, and negotiate sharing of toys, then go back and continue to clean. And repeat over and over. When do I get to sit on the floor?? Lol.

It was a particularly messy snack (we all hate it) today, and usually the cleaning teacher can clean the silverware in the staff room. But because of the... uh... teacher situation, I didn't feel comfortable being out of the room even that long. So I stayed after I clocked out to clean it.

I also managed to take A to the toilet a second time!!! This is huge because he has so far refused to go to the toilet no matter what after nap, and I hated that he was just holding it in. He definitely has to pee after nap but just won't go. But I talked to him for a while, and suddenly he told me he would go if I carried "all" his toys. He enjoyed listening to me count them as he piled all nine of them x'D into my arms. Any other kid I wouldn't allow to do this, but A needs to feel like he's the leader and making his own choices. It's not dangerous, and it's getting him to go to the toilet happily for the first time ever. Which he did. He was an angel in the bathroom. I could have cried for the nth time today, but happy tears this time. I'm really proud of him.

Finally we reach the end of my day. It took an hour to type this out how I wanted it. But I'm glad, because I want to remember as many details as I can about what today is like. I had trouble figuring out what the core of the struggles today were. I tend to blame myself. Especially as the most experienced teacher, I felt everything that went wrong as a reflection of my lack of ability. But, while maybe it's difficult to say for certain about myself, after typing this I gotta admit I don't think I made bad decisions. I think I did the best that I could with what I was given. When I talked to the manager, I said "If I could do today over, I would skip brushing teeth time," because that is something we are allowed to skip if it's truly necessary - but then I realized that actually, the situation would have occurred anyway, because the kids still need to go to the toilet. They're potty training, they need to go the toilet no matter what. There's just no way I and my students could be in the classroom all day without ever leaving.

So on looking back I feel I really was put into a ridiculous situation, and have been all year long. I sometimes get so frustrated and feel like I'm an emotional wreck for getting frustrated easily. Then, when I really stop and think about the year as a whole, I wonder why I'm not MORE frustrated. I wonder why other teachers aren't more frustrated too. Or if they are and just quiet about it. It's just so ridiculous that all these problems would have been avoided by JUST STAFFING THE SCHOOL ADEQUATELY FROM THE START OF THE YEAR OMFGGGG

You'd think nearly every teacher quitting in a single year would signal something, but heads are turned the other way so convincingly that even I, who was there suffering with them, and am here suffering now too, start to think I'm the one who's perspective is skewed.

One final thought: part of the reason it's hard to talk about it at work when things are difficult for me is because another class has had an even rockier year. They went through THREE main teachers. Two quit. The third is a sub who didn't want to be a main teacher but was forced into it. At least she's still here. (And annoyed that she was refused the option of going back to subbing next year.) One of her part-time coworkers quit suddenly in January. The other part-time coworker is a sub (the quiet one I mentioned above). One full-time coworker only joined us in like September. She's good, good enough we often forget she's so new. But she IS new and that's just gonna be rough sometimes, no getting around it.

Also this class keeps getting given new students????????? I am SO confused why that is. The other comparable class has gotten a couple new kids, but it's like 2 kids to 5, AND that rocky class also has THREE kids who are technically "baby" age still. We used to have a required 1:3 ratio for that age of kids - used to until this year when the company needed to get more tuition money while paying fewer teachers 9_9 That age is hard AF. Also one of the new kids throws up. Like. Constantly.

[thetactilepope]

Lessons in Thermodynamics: Chapter Three

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Dissatisfaction

54 days to Winter Break

Thursday

It had only been four days since Momo had found out her test mark, and she could already feel the stress building. Like a splinter just below the skin, it was a constant source of irritation.

As she used yet another lunch hour to agonize over the few (barely) coherent notes she had made during those lessons, it occurred to her that at this rate, she’d probably burn out soon.

“Haven’t I been through this before?” She sighed, resting her head on her desk, “I can’t let myself get overwhelmed. It won’t do any good.”

Her resolve had carried her through many trials before, and this would be no exception. Hopefully.

Still, she felt like she needed to talk to someone, get all these thoughts out of her head, before she was overwhelmed. Keeping it all bottled up wouldn’t help, not at all. Suddenly, her phone buzzed, and she unlocked it to see a message from Jirou Kyouka.

{♫ Kyouka ♪}

[Hey! wanna grab some coffee after school?] [its been AGES since we talked]

[i have less trouble seeing Hagakure these days tbh]

[did u finally find a date or smth?]

Momo snorted, an amused smile forming on her face. She hadn’t meant to be so evasive recently, and she was glad Kyouka didn’t seem too mad.

[I’d love to get some coffee!] [my treat, since i’ve been so… out of it] [but I might spend most of the time venting…]

[ ; ) u know i’ll never turn down free stuff!!] [if that’s what u need its chill!]

[meet u at the usual spot, k?]

[Thank you, Kyouka]

Momo let out a sigh of relief, already feeling like a small weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

The café was crowded, but not uncomfortably so, and Momo found the low buzz of other conversations in the background rather soothing. She had missed hanging out with Kyouka like this more than she had realized.

“Yo! What’s up, Miss Vice-President?” a familiar voice called out brightly, and she smiled as Kyouka slid into the booth across from her.

“I wish I could say ‘Nothing’…” She sighed, letting her shoulders slump forward, “I’ve just… had a rough couple of days, is all.”

Kyouka nodded sympathetically, placing her bag on the table, off to the side, “You look like you could use some caffeine. And some serious best-friend talk.”

“Is it that obvious?” She asked, a little mortified by the thought, “I thought I was keeping it together rather well.”

“You are. I don’t think too many people picked up on it. Like, maybe three, including myself.”

She waited for Kyouka to elaborate on who exactly had noticed, but the other girl had already moved on.

“Now, let’s go get our drinks.” Kyouka leaned forward, a serious look on her face, “And then, you can tell me exactly what’s going on.”

-Wham!-

Shouto hit the mat hard, falling victim (quite literally) to one of Midoriya’s favoured throws. Though it knocked the air from his lungs, he didn’t stay down long. Rolling quickly to his feet, he turned towards his sparring partner, lashing out with a right hook. As the blow was deflected, Shouto tried to step in closer, but his legs were swept out from underneath him and fell to the mat again.

“I, uh, think… Why don’t we call it a day soon?” Izuku said hurriedly, helping Shouto back to his feet, “I’ve, um, got a lot of homework, so…”

“It’s OK, I know I’m not at my usual level today.” His reply was calm, as he stretched his arms out behind his back, “You don’t have to pretend there’s another reason.”

Midoriya shook his head furiously, clearly a little upset at his matter-of-fact tone, “Nonono, that’s not it! I swear!”

“I mean, you do seem a bit, well, distracted, but, I-I don’t…” His friend looked down for a moment, “These no-Quirk sparring sessions, they help a lot. Whatever ‘level’ you’re at.”

“But what if I’m not good enough?” That fear has been running through Shouto’s mind for the past two days, ready to spring up at any time.

He hates the thought of letting his friends down. Of failing.

His father’s voice is lurking there too, just below the surface, waiting to tear him down as always. He can practically hear him now.

“You must be the best. There are no other options, Shouto.” Endeavor declares, a cold rage burning in his eyes, “Weakness must be crushed. If someone can’t cut it on their own, you shouldn’t lower yourself to help them.”

“That’s not true, you bastard. You might see it that way,” He replies harshly, less fearful in his own head, “but I’m not you. I will never be you.”

Midoriya gave him a concerned look, and Shouto shook his head to clear it, settling back into a combat stance.

“My apologies, I… got lost in thought for a moment.”

The other boy settled into a similar posture, albeit one that was more defensive.

“O-OK, if you’re sure you’re alright to keep going…” Midoriya replied, expression serious, “You are sure, right?”

He charged forward, as if that were answer enough.

“Man, I knew something was up with you lately, but I didn’t realize it was that serious!” Kyouka exclaimed, setting down her drink and leaning forward, “He really said you might lose your spot in the Hero Course?”

Momo nodded, taking another sip of her own coffee, “Yeah. It’s… it’s a touch spot, no doubt.”

She had been trying to keep her voice bright, but she couldn’t quite hold back the edge of anxiety any longer. Telling Kyouka had helped, but the shame and anger still bubbled up as she had recalled the events of three days prior.

“What happens if I fail?”

The question loomed in her mind, and she couldn’t seem to find an acceptable answer. Even just the thought of having to tell her parents was almost unbearable.

“We had such high hopes…”

“What a waste, you could have been a wonderful hero.”

Their imaginary voices jeered at her, much harsher than her parents would ever be, and she felt tears begin to well up in her eyes.

Suddenly, Kyouka’s cheery tone snapped her back to reality, and she looked up to see a confident smile on her best friend’s face, “Hey, why d’you look like it’s a done deal already?”

“You have plenty of time, right? Don’t start beating yourself up about this now.”

“When you put it that way…” She couldn’t help but grin in response, “Things don’t seem so bad.”

“What a lame thing to say…” The understatement made her snort almost immediately after she said it, and from the way Kyouka was rolling her eyes, it was evident she agreed.

Twirling one of her earlobe-jacks around her finger, she suddenly shifted the conversation in a slightly different direction.

“So, who else knows about this? Is it just me an’ you?”

Momo shook her head, and fiddled with her straw, “Todoroki-san knows the basics, but not about the potential consequences. He’s the one tutoring me, and… keeping him in the dark, it just doesn’t sit right with me.”

“Todoroki’s helping you again? First the Practical Exam and now this…” Kyouka raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly.

“Don’t put it like that, please.” She grimaced, looking down, “I feel bad enough about asking him for assistance as it is.”

“And, you’re sure you can trust him to keep quiet?” Kyouka paused, and then giggled, “Well, more quiet than usual, I mean. That guy’s practically mute.”

She frowned slightly at the derisive tone of her friend’s words and opened her mouth to protest but stopped as Kyouka raised her hands.

“Sorry, I guess that did sound pretty mean… He doesn’t really, well, talk to people, is all.” She sighed, taking a sip of her drink. “Anyways, have you two already started studying?”

“No, we’re planning to meet this Saturday, at the library.” Momo replied, “We both agreed prep time would be helpful.”

“Of course you did.” Kyouka’s agreement was accompanied by a good-natured eye roll, and they turned towards other topics, the kind that let her feel like everything was normal, at least for a little while. Momo let herself enjoy the moment, even if the anxiety wouldn’t vanish completely.

The two boys finished their cool-down stretches in silence, and Shouto tossed Izuku a freshly-chilled bottle of water before speaking up.

“Hey, Midoriya, can I ask you something?”

“Uh, sure! What’s on your mind?”

“Do you think I’d make a good teacher?”

His eyes went wide, the question clearly catching him off-guard. After a pause to collect his thoughts, he nodded, more to himself than Shouto.

“I guess so? I mean, you are smart, and you seem to understand that not everyone approaches stuff the same way, which goes a long way…” He muttered, the words almost too fast for the other boy to understand, “I might be inclined to say you lack the approachable nature necessary, but given that you’re better than Aizawa-Sensei, and he isn’t out of a job yet, that’s not really a concern.”

“It’s not a career choice I’d have considered for you, but every Pro should have a plan beyond just being a Hero, right? And if you’re already thinking that far ahead…”

“He thinks I meant a teacher like at Yuuei,” Shouto realized, waving a hand in front of Midoriya’s face in an attempt to snap him out of it.

“Ah, sorry, I got a little, um, carried away there, didn’t I?” He said apologetically, laughing quietly, “May I ask why you brought it up?”

“Someone needs my help with the physics unit. And I don’t know if I’ll be able to do a good enough job.” His reply wasn’t technically a lie, and while Momo had never asked him to keep their arrangement secret, he didn’t want word of it to spread.

“Oh, well, all you can really do is give it your all, right? That way, no matter what happens, you won’t have any regrets!”

There was a certainty in his voice that suddenly reminded Shouto of All-Might, and he found himself smiling slightly.

“Just give it my all, huh?” Nodding, he prepared to leave the training room, mind already on the half-finished overview waiting for him in his dorm.

Tonight was going to be busy.

There are fifty days until the retest.

[itsworn]

Grandpa’s Grocery-Getter Dart

One trend was undeniable at this year’s Mopars (rebranded as Muscle Cars) at the Strip in Las Vegas: Third-gen (2003 and newer) Hemi engines are now found under the hoods of an ever widening number of classic Mopars, from ’50s station wagons to ’90s front-wheel-drive Dodge Daytonas. One reason for this is that Mopar offers a wide variety of third-gen Hemi crate motors marketed as an alternative to their non-Hemi and Gen II counterparts.

But for cost-concerned builders — since 2003 when it debuted in the Ram, and then in 2005 when the Chrysler 300 and Dodge Magnum were introduced — millions of Gen III Saltilo, Mexico-built Hemi engines have found their way under the hoods of various Chrysler vehicles. Many of those vehicles now languish in wrecking yards from coast-to-cost and are a low-cost source for modern drivetrains suitable for transplantation. In many instances, the drivetrains (engine, transmission, and associated engine computers) from wrecked early Rams and LX cars can be purchased for $2,500 or less, much less than the cost of a Hemi crate motor.

For the Mopar faithful, will the Gen III Hemi be the small-block Chevy for the 21st century? Karl Krohn, hailing from Sandy, Utah, says the answer is yes. And the car in which a Gen III found a new home is an unlikely choice, an unassuming ’74 Dodge Dart Swinger that was originally equipped with the venerable 225 Slant-Six backed up with a three-speed TorqueFlite automatic transmission.

Karl isn’t your typical, dyed-in-the-wool Mopar guy. His first car was a ’64 Chevelle SS, a 283 car with a two-speed Powerglide transmission. “My older brother Jon had a ’65 Chevelle SS with a 327 four-speed,” says Karl. “We had this brotherly rivalry thing going on, and we were always trying to outdo each other. I had a part-time job after school at a wrecking yard in Burlington, Iowa. One day our tow truck driver hauled in a wrecked ’69 Impala SS 427 with a TH400, a pretty robust combination. I begged and pleaded with my boss to sell me that engine/trans combo until he finally caved in and let me have it. I installed that setup in my Chevelle, and then I was King of the Hill for a while. One day, he was talking trash about Fords. Well, I figured they couldn’t be all that bad so I went out and bought my first Ford, a ’69 Torino GT. Needless to say, the rivalry has continued for all these years.”

Karl’s owned other notable cars, including three ’66 Buick Gran Sport Skylarks, one of which was an “AH” Convertible with a Dual Quad 401 automatic and a 4.33:1 Max-Trac rear differential. His first Mopar was a ’69 Dodge Charger R/T 440 Six-Pack with a Dana 60 3.54:1 Sure Grip with bucket seats. Karl notes that it was unusual in that it was an automatic with a column shift.

Some time ago, Karl landed the job of prepping and tuning newly delivered cop cars for the Utah Highway Patrol. He continues to do that service today. And over the years his company, Absolute Performance, has become one of the major forces of the Salt Lake City and Utah performance car scene, upgrading modern muscle cars as well as transplanting modern engines in classic American muscle from the ’60s and ’70s.

How this particular Dart came into his possession is a bit of a story. Karl explains, “I went down to the Pick-N-Pull, a salvage yard in Salt Lake City to look for some parts for a project I was working on. When I walked in the door, a customer spotted me and said, ‘Hey Karl, You’ve got to check out that Swinger out there, it would be a good project for you.’ Going on, I was informed it was a brown ’74 Dart Swinger, and I wasn’t impressed by what I heard and politely went about my parts hunting. Then, I saw the Swinger sitting not far from the yard’s office and curiosity got the best of me, so I went over to have a look. At first glance, the reason it was there was obvious: The car had recently been wrecked and the driver-side wheel was torn loose, and the fender was wrecked. Aside from that, the car was simply dusty, so I looked inside and saw a surprisingly clean amber gold bench seat interior — seriously clean, in fact. The odometer showed 32,000 miles, so I logically assumed it was 132,000 miles, but after a moment’s looking at the pedals and everything else, it was obvious the 32K showing was actually 32K. Knowing the yard’s staff, I went in the office and asked them for the keys to the old Dart.

“Back outside, I flopped behind the wheel, curiously turned the key, and the little 225 Slant-Six sprang to life immediately and settled into a smooth fast idle. Astonished, I clicked the AM/FM knob, and the radio started playing perfectly. By this point, completely excited, I pushed the A/C controls, and the factory compressor kicked in and freezing cold air poured out of the vents. What was this thing doing in a junkyard? With already too many projects just sitting, I couldn’t leave this little Dodge to a grim fate, so I bought the Dart. They literally lifted it with their giant forklift and placed it onto my trailer — amazingly without causing any further damage to the car. Naturally, when I arrived back at the shop, my guys gave me a bit of ribbing, but they too could see the car had no business being junked.”

When asked what prompted the installation of a Gen III Hemi, Karl explained it this way. “As with many shops, the shop owners [Karl owns Absolute Performance in Sandy, Utah] are usually so busy working on customer’s cars that they don’t have time to build one for themselves. I was having this same problem, with two half-completed project cars having sat dormant for ages at the back of the shop. So I saw the little Dart as a quick way to bolt together a fun car for myself that wouldn’t require much time or expense.

“And believe it or not, this Swinger project began, literally, as an air cleaner — no joke. Among my cache of parts, there was an oval Hemi air cleaner assembly that just kept bugging me, and I became obsessed with the notion of having a plain vanilla stock-looking Dart with that giant oval air cleaner smacking you in the face when the hood went up. I like ‘sleepers,’ and I like machines that pack a lot of shock value, so combining a Hemi with a grandpa brown ’74 Swinger had increasing appeal as the days went by. So, during the winter of 2013, I took stock of what I had lying around the shop and realized I had a window of opportunity during the slower part of the season. The Slant-Six was yanked, the Dart was placed up on a jig, and the subtle transformation began.

“Being able to work my magic on new generation Hemis, I knew the Dart would have a 6.1-based powerplant, and as fate would have it, I had a 6.1 Hemi core lying in the parts pile that had come out of an SRT Grand Cherokee I’d built for a customer about a year before. I punched that engine out to be a 7.0L Hemi, performed a bit of head work, then grabbed up one of the Mopar dual-four carbureted intakes, because, after all, I wanted that big air cleaner under the hood. This set into motion an unexpected comedy of trial-and-error work to get the right baseplate and carburation combo that would fit under the stock flat hood. After modifying a couple of reproduction baseplates, I hit upon a combo that worked with the Edelbrock AFB carbs, but it also necessitated modifying the K-member and lowering the whole assembly an inch for more clearance. Wanting my creature comforts too, I went with the pulley drive setup off a 5.7L Hemi Ram pickup, and I modified a modern Cadillac rear discharge A/C compressor so everything fits neatly underneath an uncut retro Hemi air cleaner. I fabricated the A/C bracket between the alternator and the A/C compressor in-house, and then I stamped a part number on it so the thing would look like an OEM piece.”

In the weeks that followed, Karl found the front suspension parts needed to fix the Dart at the same yard and soon had it rolling around again under its own power, having just changed a few minor mechanical pieces for safety’s sake. Karl notes that the remaining paperwork indicates the Dart was sold new in Salt Lake City to an older gent, who had it serviced religiously at a local Oldsmobile dealership for the first years of its life, then the records just stopped in the late ’70s. “From all indications,” says Karl, “it looks like the Dart must’ve been put away and garaged after only a few years on the road, then it likely remained there until a grandson or some heir got the car a few years back and promptly wrecked it. With the front suspension damage, and being a ’74 Dart, the insurance company simply totaled the car out, and it ended up being sold for junk. Within weeks of laying eyes on it, the brown Swinger was cleaned up, the six was running like a watch, and I was using this thing as a daily driver. I found a Swinger fender to replace the wrecked original, and my friend Mack McBride at Mack’s Restorations in Murray, Utah, scuffed down the body and reapplied some fresh brown metallic paint. And from there, things quickly snowballed.”

The biggest upgrade, after the drivetrain, is the Hotchkis suspension. Working with John Hotchkis, the car received their A-Body TVS Suspension package. The upgrade also included QA1 front lower control arms, Fox tuned shock absorbers, 1.5-inch front sway bar, and reproduction 1.030-inch Super Stock torsion bars from PST. In the rear, the leaf springs are reproduction Super Stock springs arched to maintain a factory stance. A 1-inch Hotchkis sway bar and Fox shocks round out the rear suspension upgrades. The result is a suspension that’s firm like a modern muscle car — a far cry from the way this and all other Swingers (and Chrysler A-Bodies) rolled off the assembly line back in day.

Karl drives the car almost every day the sun is shining and enjoys trolling for late-model victims. Karl explains, “I know there are a lot of fast cars on the road, but the fun part is surprising someone in a car that looks like ‘grandpa’s grocery-getter.’ The main goal is to make sure that person will never forget the day he took on grandpa’s plain brown wrapper! The overall comfort is a bit firm, but that was to be expected. Now on the other hand, the handling characteristics are unbelievable. This car handles as good as any new ponycar, tire limiting of course. The car is mainly all original — the factory spare tire is still in the trunk. Outside of the engine/transmission upgrade and the suspension upgrade, the rest of the car is original.”

When asked what’s the most unusual attribute of his car, Karl added, “I think the most notable attribute of my car is the fact that the first impression is so refreshing to see an old car that looks new and then to discover that it has a Hemi in it — that really creates some huge smiles.”

Current Configuration

ENGINE

Type: Gen lll Hemi Bore x stroke: 4.080 x 4.080 inches Block: production 6.1L Gen lll Hemi block Rotating assembly: K1 crankshaft 4.080 stroke, K1 connecting rods, 6.125-inch Wisco pistons Cylinder heads: ported 6.1 Compression: 11:1 Camshaft: 112-500-11, camshaft, hydraulic roller tappet, advertised duration 260/264, lift .522/.525, Mopar, 5.7/6.1L, Hemi Valvetrain: stock with Stanke Motorsports rocker shaft stabilizer kits Induction: Mopar 2×4-bbls dual plain intake manifold, dual FAST EFI throttle bodies Oiling system: stock OE oiling system with offset filter adapter (Jeep) Fuel system: Tanks Inc. EFI fuel tank with return system using Corvette fuel filter Exhaust: TTI full 2.5-inch exhaust system with X-pipe and reproduction HEMI mufflers Ignition: Holley Dominator supplies the ignition system as well as the EFI Cooling: reproduction radiator with four cores, maintains a factory stock appearance Fuel: premium pump gas Output: 425 hp Engine built by: Karl Krohn, Absolute Performance Inc. Transmission: 727 TorqueFlite with A&A Transmission modified valve body Converter: TCI 2,800-stall torque converter Rear axle: Dana 60 Axle ratio: 3.54:1 35 Spline Detroit TrueTrac Shifter: stock column shift select Steering: Borgenson fast ratio steering box Front brakes: factory Mopar C-Body 11.75-inch disc brakes Rear brakes: factory Mopar C-Body 10×2.5-inch drum brakes Rollbar/chassis: no rollbar or chassis stiffeners, subframe connectors may be added this summer

WHEELS & TIRES Wheels: factory Mopar Police Pursuit 15×7 wheels with stainless trim rings and dog dish hubcaps Tires: 215/60-15 radial street tires

SUSPENSION Front: Hotchkis TVS suspension package with QA1 front lower control arms, Fox-tuned shock absorbers, 1.5-inch front sway bar, reproduction PST 1.030-inch Super Stock torsion bars Rear: reproduction Super Stock leaf springs arched to maintain a factory stance, 1-inch rear Hotchkis sway bar and Fox shocks

INTERIOR Seats: factory original with driver-seat area stitching renewed Instruments: factory original Wiring: factory original

Upcoming Build Configuration ENGINE Type: Gen lll Hemi Bore x stroke: 4.125 x 4 inches Block: all aluminum big-bore McLaren Cast Gen lll 426 Hemi block Rotating assembly: (Mulnar Technologies) forged steel crankshaft with 2.100-inch rod journals, modified GM LS7 titanium connecting rods with billet wristpin bushings (Katek), Chromium Nitride coated (Surface Solutions), custom forged 400 series high-silicone content pistons (Sue Nash, Wiesco Pistons) Cylinder heads: Edelbrock 61159 Compression: 11.5:1 Camshaft: Arrow Racing custom grind: intake/exhaust lift .628, duration at .050 intake/exhaust 233/243, lobe separation: 115, intake centerline: 115 Valve train: stock with Stanke Motorsports rocker shaft stabilizer kits Induction: Mopar 2×4-bbls dual-plane intake manifold Oiling system: stock OE oiling system with offset filter adapter (Jeep) Fuel system: Tanks Inc. EFI fuel tank w/return system using Corvette fuel filter Exhaust: TTI full 2.5-inch exhaust system with X-pipe and reproduction Hemi mufflers Ignition: Holley Dominator supplies the ignition system as well as the EFI and Transmission controls Cooling: reproduction radiator with four cores, maintains a factory stock appearance Fuel: premium pump gas Output: TBD Engine built by: Karl Krohn, Absolute Performance Inc.

DRIVETRAIN: Transmission: 4L70E-SD GM automatic (Trailblazer SS transmission), modified with 298mm input shaft to accommodate smaller torque converter Converter: GM C5 Corvette torque converter Rear axle: Dana 60 Axle ratio: 3.54:1 35-spline Detroit TrueTrac Shifter: stock column shift with modified shift detent for overdrive Steering: Borgenson fast ratio steering box Front brakes: factory Mopar C-Body 11.75-inch disc brakes Rear brakes: factory Mopar C-Body 10×2.5-inch drum brakes Rollbar/chassis: no rollbar or chassis stiffeners, subframe connectors may be added this summer

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