#I get the 'violence is never the answer' but thats for when youre already in the good situation!
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Broooo the Dutch cabinet is discussing whether or not taking away Dutch citizenship from the people with dual citizenship who were involved with the violence surrounding the Maccabi fans last week - anyone else feeling reeeaaaally fucking on edge about that? That's so fucking close to a slippery slope! Yes you can spend years trying to obtain citizenship or even be born in this country but when you're breaking laws (which are always morally subjective btw, slavery was legal not that fucking long ago) we can just take that away? Be a good little citizen or else we'll fuck you over? That's a fucking line that when you cross it on an issue that is so fucking dubious and debated like this one is, the line tends to be smudged and become a precedent for more us-them, othering, 'if you're not with us yoyre against us' type retoric to strip people from their rights.
I hope to the stars that I am afraid for nothing and that this doesn't escalate in the future (i mean, in the US a 1800's anti-abortion law is being used as precedent, this shit lasts forever), but if not I hope y'all keep your eyes open and make your voices heard!
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sunshine-on-marz · 1 year ago
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Lost and found
Spencer Reid x Reader
In which Spencer almost loses the love of his life, literally and figuratively
TW: angst with a happy ending, criminal minds level depiction of violence, mentions of death, it takes a little to get to the actual plot but trust me it’s worth it, (tell me if i missed any)
Word count: 3.3K
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To know Spencer Reid was to be absolutely enthralled by him. You were both 16 when you met, granted you were 16 in your junior year of highschool and he was 16 working on his 2nd PHD, but you were both 16 nonetheless.
It had taken some convincing to get a place in his life, not because he didn’t like you or your company, more because he was waiting for your ulterior motive to show itself, or for your patience to wear thin. It never did.
You knew vaguely about his mother, mostly through a news article you found from a few years back, talking about the prodigy like he was more of circus attraction then a 12 year old. It had mentioned that he also took care of his sick mother, and with his hyperfixation on finding a cure to schizophrenia, you’d connected the dots.
But you still didn’t want to assume.
“Hey Spence, why’re you so set on finding a cure?” You ask, gesturing to the 8th book on schizophrenia you’d seen him read in the 3 months you’ve known him.
“My mother” he says, closing the book and placing it infront of him. “Why do you ask?”
“Because I’m curious about what goes on in the mind of Spencer Reid” you smile “though, I’m sure you could tell me exactly what’s happening up there, down to the chemicals”, he laughs at that
“I could give you an idea” he says, you hover your hands over the book, he nods, you open it to the last page.
“508 pages, how long would that take you to read?” You ask
“A little under 10 minutes, if I had to guess, I don’t know how many words are on each page” he says
“Well I’m not counting so I guess we’re gonna have to stick with an estimate” you joke, he smiles again.
You sit in silence for a minute, just looking at each other, and the book. There’s a light tension, unasked questions float between you.
“Can I be invasive?” You ask, Spencer nods
“You usually don’t ask first” he smiles
“You suck” you reach to hit his arm, you don’t. “I won’t hit you before asking about your sick mother, actually”
“I appreciate that” he laughs “but what do you want to know?”
“What’s her name?” You ask, he seems a little shocked.
“Diana.”
“And you take care of her?” You already know the answer, but he’d never said it explicitly.
“Yea” he nods, he looks at you like he knows what you’ll ask next
“Well, tell me if there’s ever anything I can do to help. Her or you, I can’t imagine that’s an easy thing to do alone, props to you spence” you smile, and if someone saw his face right now, they’d assume you asked him- well not many questions would dumbfound Spencer Reid but that’s not the point.
“You’re not gonna ask if I hate it? Or if I want to put her in a home?” He asks, sounding more confused than you’d ever seen him
“Do you want me to ask that?” You counter.
“No.. not really” he looks at his hands, which are rubbing together. A nervous habit of his you’d picked up on rather quickly.
“Well then I won’t ask it” you smile, so does he.
It’s a week later when he tells you why he’d been so shocked that day.
You were on his front porch, about to meet his mother for the first time. He said she’d been having a good day, and though you weren’t exactly sure what that entailed, he said it with enough excitement that you decided to just ask later.
“When you first asked about my mom, you asked what her name was” he says, you nod.
“Thats usually my starting point, yea” you laugh softly “why, was that the wrong thing to ask?”
“No- no no no. It was the perfect thing to ask! I just- you were the first person to ask what her name was before you asked about what’s wrong with her” he says, and he looks sad, so you offer a hand. You know he’ll say no, but you don’t miss how he smiles everytime you offer.
“Wanna tell me about her? I never know what I’m walking into meeting my friends parents, I would’ve brought her flowers but I didn’t know what kind she liked” you say, and his smile goes from soft to wide and bright.
He is ineffably beautiful.
“She likes lilies” he smiles “and she’s really nice, when she’s, yknow” you just nod. And then he holds out his hand, you take it. And that’s the first time you ever touched Spencer Reid.
You met his mother that night, it was uneventful, but it was nice.
That’s a lot of your friendship with Spencer. Uneventful, but nice. More than nice, it’s wonderful. He’s wonderful. You’re there when he gets his first PHD at 17, you’re there when he has to put his mother into assisted living, you’re there when he gets the letter saying he’s been invited to the FBI academy, you even drive him to go meet Agent Gideon.
You see him off at the airport when he goes to Quanico.
And that’s the last time you see your best friend.
After a while weekly phone calls became monthly, and monthly became an occasional text on birthdays and holidays and informing the other of big achievements, but by his 3rd year as an agent, friendships were hard to maintain.
You’d accepted never seeing your friend again.
Spencer hoped he’d never see you again, because he knew he didn’t have the guts to reach out, and he knew that the only time his teammates seemed to see old friends was when they were a part of a case.
But he also knew you.
And he recognized your necklace the second he saw the pictures Penelope had on the screen.
“The second and third victims haven’t been found, but they’re believed dead” JJ says, Spencer barely hears it.
“I need air” is all he manages to say as he rushes out of the room. Derek went after him and caught him as he collapsed.
“Hey man, what’s goin on?” Derek asked him, holding onto Spencer’s shaking shoulders as he tries to stay upright.
“I can’t- she can’t- she can’t be dead” his words were barely audible and even less coherent.
“Do you know one of the victims?” Derek asked, and Spencer nodded.
He more than knew you, he’d held you while you cried, he’d slept in your bed the night his mom went into care, you were the only person there for him at his graduations, he’d helped you decorate your first apartment. You were so much more than someone he knew. And you were so much more than victim number 3.
“Spencer? Hello?” Derek’s hand waved infront of Spencer’s face as he zoned back into reality.
“Sorry” I he muttered as he started to stand up. He and Derek walked back into the briefing room, he doesn’t apologize for his outburst, he just sits and waits for Penelope and JJ to continue. They do.
“Well, 3 girls went missing in New York City within a span of a week. The reason we’re on this case is because they all worked for the same law firm”
Spencer takes a shuttering breath.
“The first victim, whose body was found dumped in a dumpster by a homeless man, was 56 year old Mrs. Shelly Kailee, a lawyer at Shelly and Dylan law firm, she was a co-owner along with her Husband Dylan. The two other victims, who are still currently missing, are Darleen Calvin, and Y/N L/N. Darleen is 28 and a practicing attorney at the same law firm, she’s only been practicing there for a few months after graduation from University of New York in January. Y/N is 25 and is working as a receptionist at the law firm while working on her law degree at Cornell. Both girls are reportedly very sociable and very kind, but from what we’ve been told, Y/N seemed to be more acquainted with everyone while Darleen seemed to just have a large group of friends. That’s the only information we have on them” JJ says. It seems everyone’s eyes drifted to Spencer, but his were dead set on your face on the projector. Smiling. You had the same smile. You were still wearing the same necklace you wore every day since he gave it to you at 18 when you graduated. You were still as beautiful as he remembered.
“She wouldn’t let anyone take her to a second location, not without a fight. We’re probably looking at a fairly athletic man, unless we find out that she sent someone her location. Then it’s probably someone charismatic, charming, played himself as a friend” he says, and everyone nods.
“You think she’d fall for that?” Morgan asks, he gets a few glares. But Spencer nods. “I think I saw her have a conversation with a homeless man once because she thought he might be lonely.” He says “so yes”. Hotch clears his throat “Spencer is there any possibility she’s.. changed since you knew her?”. Spencer shakes his head “we only really fell completely out of touch a few months back, she seemed pretty much the same the last time I called her, which was probably 6 months ago”
You could’ve cut the tension with a knife.
“Spencer I’m sorry-“ Emily says, he cuts her off.
“You can be sorry if we find a body” he says. And they get the message.
“Wheels up in 10” Hotch says.
Spencer works that case like a dog. There’s not a moment where he isn’t doing something to find you. Something to make sure you’re okay.
A few times, Derek had to pull him out of the police precinct, just so he’d get a couple hours of sleep.
He was beside himself.
Then the tapes showed up.
On the front steps of the police station, there was a box, with 4 tapes, each labeled with a date of the days you’d been missing, the most recent being from the day before.
The first started with a voice they later confirmed to be Shelly’s. A final message to her husband and kids. Tearful messages to each one about how much she loved them. And then a gunshot.
The second tape was worse. It was of you and Darleen. Spencer recognized your voice immediately, he could tell you were holding back tears. Darleen on the other hand was sobbing. You were both pleading for you life. You were a bit more composed, and he quickly recognized some of what you were saying as examples he’d said to you when talking about what usually does and doesn’t work on killers.
He never intended you to have to put those lessons to use.
And the selfish part of him wonders if you thought of him when you spoke.
The 3rd tape is the shortest. It’s just a gunshot and a scream. Your scream. He, for the first time in his life, sincerely hopes that you watched someone get killed.
The final tape is just you.
And it breaks him.
There’s a few seconds of silence before your voice starts.
“This is a message for Spencer Reid, and the rest of the FBI. My name is Y/N, and if you’re listening to this. I am dead.”
And his face falls.
“Spence, meeting you in highschool was the greatest thing I’ve ever done. And I love you, I love you so much Spencer. And I hope-“ the tape ends.
Spencer listens to that tape another dozen times.
The cops find Darleen’s body before lunch.
He doesn’t have it in him to care.
He listens to the tape again. And then it hits him.
You had never once said you met Spencer in highschool. You always, always made it a point to say that you were in highschool, but he wasn’t.
And it was currently summer, and the highschool was empty.
“Guys I know where she is-“
Hotch cut him off with a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Spencer she’s dead” he said, his voice wasn’t harsh, but it wasn’t gentle either. Spencer could’ve punched him.
“They’re at the highschool. Trust me” his voice was shaking, not with doubt, but with fear. Fear that both he and Hotch were right, and that in a couple hours he’d see you again under the worst possible circumstances.
But they went anyway.
He was zoned out most of the car ride, ignoring Derek’s questions of if he’s sure he can handle this.
For Spencer, it doesn’t matter if he thinks he can, because he has too.
He’s a few feet past the doorway when it really sinks in that he might leave the building again with your lifeless body in his arms. He pushes the thought aside. It felt like betrayal not to try and have hope, because for Spencer, you were hope incarnate. It would feel disrespectful to take that from you without asking first.
He heard it before anyone else did.
He all but ripped the door open, the local PD turning on their heels at his aggressive movements.
But there you were, in a chair, sobbing into your binds. He was infront of you in seconds, shouting for someone to cut the ropes holding your wrists and ankles as he removed the cloth from your mouth.
“You’re okay, you’re alright now, I’ve got you” his hands gently holding your cheeks as you leaned forward into his chest, your arms wrapping around his torso once they were cut free.
“I knew you’d come- I knew it. I told him but he said you wouldnt find me so- so in the tape- oh my god did he send you the tapes?” He cut off your manic rambling with soft shushing
“I know you knew, you always know, and yes we got the tapes. You did good, you did everything perfect. I understood.” He assured you, running his hands through your hair.
Emily came up to you and Spencer, putting her hand on his shoulder.
“Does she know where he is?” She asks.
He starts to speak, but you do it first. “Maybe the janitors closet? Or the bathroom? He- he made us scrub the floors, he was like- he was psychotic about it” you say, she nods and leaves the room, Spencer just tucks your head back under his chin.
“You’re doing so well” he whispers
“Spencer I want to leave” you cry
“Alright, alright. Let’s get you out of here” he says, slipping his arm under your knees and lifting you. You probably could’ve walked, but no one was shocked that he chose to carry you out.
He asked the EMTs more questions than your frazzled mind could even think of.
“Dr.Reid, she’s going to be fine. It’s cuts and bruises and maybe a few pulled muscles, she will be fine once she gets some fluids and a good meal in her system. “
He still didn’t believe it.
He didn’t believe it when the nurses told him the same thing, he didn’t believe it on the car ride back to the precinct after you were discharged, and he didn’t believe it when you sat next to him during your cognitive interview.
He’d fought Hotch about giving you one, but Hotch said that having a solid story will help make sure the man who did this is kept in prison for as long as possible, and you’d volunteered.
“You really dont have to” he says, you shake your head
“Spence i can handle it” you say
“Im not leaving your side.” He insists, you laugh a bit, which all but calms him down.
“I didnt think you would.” You offer your hand, and for the first time he accepts the invitation.
The interview makes you cry, which could’ve been predicted, but it still breaks Spencer’s heart.
After that he sets a semi-permanent ban on anyone asking you about what happened.
JJ brings you a change of clothes and you thank her profusely as she walks you to the bathroom and helps you wash your face and body as best as you can with wet paper towels.
Spencer anxiously waits outside.
“She’s with JJ, man. You can go outside and take a breather if you need” Derek offers.
“I’ll go outside and take a breather with Y/N when they’re done. Im sure this isnt where she wants to be right now.” Spencer says, Derek sighs.
“Spence, that girl might be one of the most well adjusted victims we’ve ever seen, she’ll be okay if you step away for 5 minutes-“ Spencer cuts him off
“I wont” he says “do you not get that? She’s well adjusted, Im not. I am not well adjusted to almost losing her and im not well adjusted to having her back so Derek would you please stop suggesting that I need space from her because space from her is the last thing I need right now” they stand in silence for a minute until you leave the bathroom.
“Spence? Everything okay?” JJ asks as she walks out of the bathroom after you, you quickly finding your place leaning against Spencer’s side.
“Yea we’re good” Derek answers for him, placing a firm hand on Spencer’s shoulder, and leaving with a small nod of understanding.
Spencer guides you outside.
He sits next to you on the bench outside the precinct, your head on his shoulder and his arm around you.
“Im really glad you picked up on that” you say
“Picked up on what?” He asks, his hand moving from next to you on the bench to your lap, resting on top of your own.
“The highschool thing, i honestly didnt know if he’d even send the tapes, kinnda figured he was making them for himself” you say, interlacing your fingers with his “but I figured it was worth a shot”
“It was smart” he says, squeezing your hand “took me awhile to realize”
“Did it?” You ask “and here i was thinking you were a genius. Spencer when have i ever skipped a chance to brag about you?” You smile at him, he shrugs.
“I was under a little stress” he says, pulling you closer.
“I know, im sorry I scared you”
“Dont apologize, this is not your fault. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for.” You just nod.
There’s silence for a while, it could’ve been hours, neither of you would’ve noticed, or minded.
“Do you want to move in with me?” He says it before he even realized he thought it, immediately looking just as shocked as you. “I am so sorry- i just- well i figured-“
“Spencer” you grab his hand. “We’ll talk about it” you say, and that seems to be the right answer as he wraps you into a hug.
“I just want to make sure you’re okay” he whispers, you nod.
“It doesn’t require moving in for us to stay in contact” you say
“But you’re so far” you just nod in response. “I dont want to lose you again” he whispers
“Spence you didnt lose me, im alright-” he stops you
“Thats not what i meant. Not entirely” he clarifies, you sigh and pull him into another long hug.
“My lease ends next month” you hum
“See you in Virginia next month?” He asks, you smile
“We’ll talk about it”
There’s never a conversation about if you’ll move in. Spencer just Venmo’s you (he got Garcia to teach him how) 300 bucks along with “plane ticket or take out dinner for a week” which makes you laugh, and it also makes you call him to ask approximately how much of your stuff would fit in his apartment, he says he’ll make as much space as you need.
A month later you show up to one of Rossi’s dinner parties hand in hand with Spencer, JJ hands Derek 20 bucks, and slowly, everything falls back into place.
(PS: Spencer makes sure you have everything you need to finish school online because he’ll be damned if you gave up your dreams for a man, even if he himself is that man.)
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This might be the longest fic ive ever written. This took 2 days and a few tears but finally it’s done. Im tagging the pookies bc Ykw i worked too hard not too @the-phantom-author @thesockbehindthewashingmachine @mariasont @st4rgzer @canonically-a-genloser
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kittykattropicanna · 1 year ago
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girlfriend, i love how we jumped straight to marriage with mechanic!Simon but I'd love to know a bit more about the phase before he managed to lock down his girl for good.
What if, her ex comes looking for her? Some prim and proper, sleek wolf of wallstreet business typa guy appears at Price's Body Shop, recognizing her car and asking about her. No idea how he found her because he usually doesn't go into these parts of town, maybe someone saw her car, maybe she forgot to turn off / delete her location app.
Sees her at the shop and tells her to come home, this part of town is no place for her, he's sorry, the other woman didn't mean anything, he wasn't serious about kicking her out, whatever, you know the drill.
She's not impressed, unfazed, cool as a cucumber because her mind is filled with her new boy toy mechanic!Simon and she keeps drifting off to last night's memory 🤭
Listen, I love a woman who stands up for herself but you really can't expect your possessive new self proclaimed boyfriend and his crew to watch silently while your ex is trying sweet talk and win you back right in front of them, right?
Also, why is Simon being so weird after? There is nothing to worry about, she thinks he's perfect and exactly what she never knew she wanted. I guess she needs to prove it to him by taking matters into her own mouth hands 🤭🤭 pamper him like no one before
Foaming at the mouth at this ask, I wrote the marriage ask before I got to this one because I really wanted to drive home how fast he preposes, but I would love to elaborate about your relationship before he preposes, you’re in a very valuable position and absolutely cling to him for support :((((( it did change a couple of small things to help the story flow better, I hope you don’t mind ;)
Si knows from the start that you're the one :((( you guys act like you've been together since high school even though you've only know each other for a couple weeks :33333 But when your friends start calling, begging you to come back home? telling you that Si is manipulative and a bad guy that's taken advantage of your venerable state >:( of course he gets insecure :((( then your ex shows up?? a man that's the complete opposite of Si, he really starts to doubt himself :((((( lucky you can show him just how much you appreciate him with that mouth of yours ;))))
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tw: loosing friends, controlling ex, possessive!Simon, insecure!Simon, sub!Simon (kinda?), insinuated violence, a lot of lore in this one??? so like porn with a plot??, smut, blowjob, face fucking, deep throating, L bomb (like twice??), talk of reader submitting to Si, there's just a lot going on tbh but baby...you're a giver and THATS for sure, basically you're just looking after your mannnnn and he loves you for it
Mechanic!Simon masterlist
Regular masterlist
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Obviously your friends call after they hear you broke up with your ex, they can’t find you anywhere and start freaking the fuck out! they love you so much and they’re scared shitless!!!
They only found out you were even missing because you didn’t turn up to brunch on Thursday :((
They called you, and of course you didn’t answer….you were busy ;)))
That obviously raised some alarm bells for everyone straight away, so their next point of contact was obviously your ex!!
Then the reality hit…. You had been missing since Monday night, he kicked you out after a bad fight and nobody had been able to get in contact with you……
Everyone obviously thinks worst case scenario. Car crash, kidnapping,…. maybe you ran away, or god forbid, something worse, maybe you weren’t even alive anymore, I mean, its been fucking days!!!
If someone were to have taken you, you could be out of the country by now, your body could already be decomposing somewhere never to be seen again, maybe they could have saved you if they new sooner :(((( got you the medical attention you needed before you succumb to your injuries…
Obviously everyone is going wild back home, freaking out and doing everything in their power to get in some kind of contact with you. 
But no ;))))
As your phone buzzed and pinged with messages, vibrating on Si’s bedside table as he held your naked frame against his broad chest :3333
You were fine, more then fine actually :))))
“Don’t worry about tha’ baby, answer it later they’ll be fine” Si’s morning voice muffled into your hair, strong arms tightening his grip around your waist and his hard cock pressed up against your bare arse ;))
A couple days after Si saved you and towed your car, everything that happened hit you like a ton of bricks. You were kinda disoriented and fuzzy, still a little shaken by the experience and hadn’t really processed that you were in fact living with Simon now….
The warm feeling of toned arms wrapped around you and a hard chest against your back didn’t register it first….. but you never protested :333
Droopy eyelids snapping open ungodly wide when it all hit you :( like, holy shit, there was no way you’re actually doing this, there is no way you fucked a random mechanic, let him take you home, fell asleep in his bed and then just never left????…. that’s batshit crazy behaviour! 
What made it even more jarring was from day one, when Si stirred awake he’d simply pulling you closer and kiss your temple like he’d been married to you for 30 years :3
There was no awkward small talk, no “you’ve overstayed your welcome now, i’ll drive you to a motel” or “what time do you think you’ll call a cab”, a simple kiss and a “how’d ya’ sleep princess” deep and groggy, a smirk on his lips as he kissed the back of your neck :)))
Your body relaxed instantly, for a man so big, there was a certain gentleness about him, a protective and calming aura he carried so effortlessly, you truly felt comfortable here…. It was such a strange experience but the idea of leaving his bed made you wince :(((
Even the morning routine you quickly created was natural!!
The tea and coffee lived on the top shelf of the cupboard, sitting at his two seater dining table Si happily watched your cute little arse poke out the bottom of his shirt :))) you had to hop a little bit to bring the tins forward, but all he could focus on was your bum and thighs jiggling >:((
He absolutely didn’t strategically place everything a shelf higher so he could see you do this exact thing the every morning….:333333
He was running unbelievably late for work but he couldn’t care less, the whole morning was filled with quick pecks and giddy smiles. From an outsiders prospective, nobody could guess you met a couple days ago :)))) 
Holding your waist as you make his lunch for him :)))) following every instruction perfectly :))))
Whispering “good girl” into your ear and kissing your neck gently as you pack his meal into his work bag, fat cock flush against your arse still concealed in his thick work pants, grinding slowly only relieving him slightly >:(
He wanted nothing more then to take you then and there, but the idea of you having to wait around for the rest of the day :((( thighs rubbing together and needy for him was wayyyy more appealing to come home to :( his such a meany
Leaving £100 on the kitchen counter for you, kissing you before he leaves, whispering into your lips to treat yourself :((
“You’ve had a long couple days sweethear’, get ya’ nails done for me, yeah? Get em’ pink or somthin’, okay?”
Obviously you’re memorised by this man at this point… how could you not be? 
 Agreeing with a slow nod and stars in your eyes as he kisses your nose 
Nobody had ever looked at him like that before….
“That’s ma’ girl, i’ll be home by six”
When he finally rocked up at work, Price was pissed beyond belief, Gaz was working on multiple cars at a time due to his absence and Johnny looked like he could kill him as he sat in Si’s office, a line of annoyed customers leading outside the shop.
Soap new absolutely nothing about quotes and insurance claims and all this other bullshit that Simon dealt with as the manager.
Gaz had a hundred questions for him about what he suggested for certain repairs, it was pure chaos!! 
But Si couldn’t find it in himself to be stressed, walking into the shop with a shit eating grin, completely bricked up and care free :))))
He’d never been happier then in that moment. 
But I want to fast forward to when your friends finally got a hold of you a week after you went missing….
It was the strangest surprise as well as their biggest relief when you answer. 
You were completely fine, they could basically hear you smile through the phone……
You started banging on about how you met this amazing guy named Simon, how his a super gifted mechanic, a complete gentleman and how you’re both deeply in love and never been happier!!
Reassuring them that you’re absolutely fine, better then fine actually, you’re safe and loved and don’t plan on ever going back home 
And all your girls are like 
“Babe….you can’t be serious right now? You’re not in love, you’ve been gone a week! And did you say you moved in with him!? A fucking mechanic!? Have you lost your fucking mind??? What about your job??? What about the entire fucking life you built here?!!!”
And 
“That’s it, give me the address right now, we are coming to get you immediately. You’re coming home and never talking to this weird fucking Simon guy ever again. Got it?” 
Of course they don’t understand:((((( why would they!?
You’ve finally found your person, it doesn’t matter if you have known Si for a week or a thousand weeks. You’re not fucking leaving!
This courses massiveeeee tension in you’re now ex friendship group. 
Half your girls think they should cut you off immediately, staying friends with you only means supporting the relationship and that’s something they’re absolutely not going to do >:(((
The other half think its important to keep in contact with you, they want to be there when you finally “come to your senses” and “need an out”, whatever that means :/….they even insisted on meeting Simon, just to sus out the situation and see what’s really going on, but of course you deny. 
Some even try to convince you that your ex was way better for you then Si:((((( how everyone thought you would end up getting married eventually, how there’s still time to realise you’ve made a mistake, that your ex was more then willing to take you back and everything would go back to normal!!! 
“Babe, this Simon guy is manipulative, okay? You’re emotional and vulnerable right now and his latched onto that knowing you’re going to cling to him for support. His taking advantage of you babe! I know you think you’re in love and that he says all the right things but its an act! Hello? Are you there? Can you fucking hear me!!??’
They’re just trying to ruin everything though >>:(((((( 
Your friends never saw how your ex treated you behind closed doors and they could never understand the connection you and Simon had :(
When Si came home from work to you wrapped up in a blanket and crying on the sofa, he was ready to kill whoever caused you so much pain….when he found out it was actually your friends, his heart ached for his poor girl :(((
“Listen to me petal, look me in the eyes, you don’ owe them anythin’, they jus’ don’t understand, alrigh’ don’t cry baby, come on” 
Wrapping his big musealy arms, covering you in his post work sweat and musk as you cling to his oily work shirt :((((
Of course you end up cutting off your friends. They could never understand what you and Simon had, if they really cared about you, they’d at least act like they were happy for you, not rip into you and try and push the narrative that you’ve been “manipulated” and “taken advantage of” while in a “venerable state” ://
Si absolutely agreed as well :( you didn’t need to worry about them anymore, they’re in the past and you’re moving forward with your life, its not your fault they haven’t grown up yet ://
Plus!!!! He would love to introduce you to Prices wife and the other girls at the bar he regulars…. Sure they may be a little older and all have children but you’re such a mature girl :((( you’ll get along with them just fine :3 
Its definitely not because he wants to bring you around his friends chubby babies, planting the seed in your mind subconsciously, or consciously about having your own little family ;)))
Start taking the steps to really integrate you in his life and friendship circles ;))))))
He knows what his doing :3
You get along with everyone so well too, girls wine nights, being invited over to friends houses for dinner <3
Simon tucking his hard cock into the waist band of his boxes as you bounce one of your friends babies on your hip and coo to them :((((
You would be such a good mama to his babies :( your genetics mixed with his would make the cutest little humans and the image of you pregnant that won’t leave his mind is starting to drive him absolutely fucking feral :(((
Life is so good for you and Si at the moment :((((( of course your stupid fucking ex would come around and try to ruin it for you…..all for him…..
Your ex couldn’t of been more different from Si :(
Clad in a business suit and ridiculously expensive watch, a clean haircut, pure leather business shoes and smelling of expensive cologne, he absolutely stuck out when his Tesla pulled into the shop carpark…. 
An obviously disgusted look on his face as he entered the front office, not trying to hide his disapproval as he looked at the chipped paint that peeled off the walls and the overwhelming smell of fuel that had seeped into everything within a 50 meter radius, buttoning his suit jacket and dramatically watching his step as he walked on the stained concrete that covered the front office floor :////
Your ex was such a pretentious prick >:( if it wasn’t high luxury, he’d look down on it like it was dirt :/
The thing is, he didn’t actually care where you were after he kicked you out, he just assumed you would end up on a friends couch or something. The idea that you would run off with a random “dirty” man and enter a relationship literally hours after he broke things off enraged him. 
But everything changed when he got the news you were living with “Si” a couple hours away and you were “deeply in love” with him. 
He played the “distressed”, “regretful” boyfriend to your friends, trying to get as much information out of them as possible under the pretence of “keeping you safe”
Yeah…..right :///
His ego couldn't handle it! How dare you just move on like he was nothing!!! sleep in another mans bed without regret and start a new life with him not even being an afterthought!!!!>:( 
You were meant to be heartbroken!!! Turn up on his doorstep and beg for his forgiveness as he laughed in your face :((
But you just moved on?????
He wasn't having that. 
You were supposed to worship him, not replace him with some piece of shit mechanic >:(
Your friends fed him a lot of useless information, But there was one sentence that tied it all together. 
In the middle of your rant about how much you loved Simon, you mentioned he worked at “Price’s Motor Repairs”
Nobody had heard of any repair shop with that name from around the area, but it was enough information for your ex to track you down…
Alarm bells went off in Simons head when he saw him walk in. He wasn’t from around these parts, that much was certain, and the way his eyes snaked over his name tag and an almost cocky grin spread across his face, he new something was up and it wasn’t good. 
Your ex definitely turned up at like 5:59, a minute before Si was meant to close just to make it as inconvenient as possible for him >:/
Si never asked about your ex, he didn’t want to know. He didn’t care what his name was or what he did for a living, all he new was that he was a dickhead and that was enough to put him off. You were his now, your ex wasn’t relevant :((((
It didn’t even cross Si’s mind that this guy could possibly be your ex. It was probably just some wanker that broke down while he was passing through. So he gritted his teeth and walked outside to check out this “broken” car 
It felt like a wild goose chase. He claimed there was something wrong with the motor, he checked it out, there was nothing wrong. He then claimed his AC wasn’t working, he checked it out, there was also nothing wrong. 
This went on for about 20 minutes before Simon snapped >:(
“There aint nothin’ wrong with ya’ car mate, get that fuck out of er’ before ya’ start wishin’ ya’ did”
Snarky and satisfied, your ex left without a fight, pulling out of the shop and parking far enough down the street that he could see Si pulling out of the shop and heading home…. Leading him to directly to you without a fight….
He followed behind at a safe distance. Far enough away that Si didn’t notice he was being followed, Poor Si was beyond tired, paired with the dim lighting of the sun going down, he didn’t even notice someone was tailing him:(( he was on autopilot :(
All he wanted to do was get home to you, eat his hot meal that you prepared for him and slug on the couch with a beer, you cuddled up against him and block the outside world out for the evening :((
But after arriving home, the second he sat down for dinner, three obnoxiously loud knocks echoed off the front door.
When you saw he didn’t move, you stood up to answer it for him 
“Jus’ leave it lovie, can’t be anythin’ important this time of night”
You explained there was an older lady that lived a couple apartments down, she started developing dementia and was in the early stages, she could still look after herself but often forgot small things like buying eggs from the grocery store or how to turn the TV on, she asked you for help all the time!!! and you were sure it was just her!! Of course it was! Who else could it be!
Simon wasn’t convinced. There was no way an old lady could knock with that much force.
He followed behind you hesitantly watching you swing the door open with a smile, only to reveal the piece of shit that was at the shop an hour earlier…
Si was honestly confused as fuck for a second, only for it to all fall into place when this guy started calling you “baby” and demanding for you to come home…..
His first instinct was to pull you behind him, he was beyond shocked when your ex grabbed your wrist with force, making sure Si couldn’t move you out of his line of sight without hurting you…
“Baby, you are coming home now, look at the state of this.. this.. drug addicts flat! you’re coming home with me immediately, stop fucking resisting!” Your ex spat getting more and more enraged by the second
You couldn’t go home, you were home, Si was your home :( But before you could get a word out, Si had your ex by the bicep, the pure force of the grip sending him into cold blooded shock, muscles tensing he lets go of your wrist out of pure shock :((
“Get inside n’ lock the door” he mumbled lowly before slamming it so hard the framework shook violently, you swore the hinges could of given way :((((
Once Si finally returned, you could tell there was something wrong :( something about the way he wasn’t all over you like normal, there was a purposeful distance he put between the two of you, almost like he didn’t want you there :((
After poking and prodding him, it all finally came out 
“Ya’ know I could never give ya’ the life that he could doll…. All that fancy shit” a coldness behind his eyes, almost defeat taking over his expression :(
“I know I aint ya type baby, you’re one of them high class type, ya’ don’t belong down ‘ere with me….I’ll drive ya’ back in the mornin, okay? I’m not taken no for an answer, go start packin’’” :((((
He was so defeated, if you could see his heart you could of sworn it was ripped into separate pieces :((
He went on for a good 10 minutes like this, you know he was doing what he thought was in your best interest, but Jesus Christ did it sting :(((
Little did he know your ex was almost £50,000 in credit card debt, you payed for almost everything during the duration of your relationship :((( he never treated you to any sort of luxury like Si did :( never got you flowers or paid for your nails….
He truly thought that your ex had a one up on him…. That you would consider going back to him because of his “wealth”???
Getting off the couch and slowly sinking to your knees in front of him, you reach for the belt of his pants, slowly undoing his buckle :((
His mind is racing so much, so paranoid and distracted that he didn’t notice the sound of the metal being undone :((((
He always focused on your pleasure, making you feel wanted :(( it was your turn to appreciate him, with actions this time :333 
Si completely stops mid sentence when your warm, delicate hand palms his soft cock :(((9 
He looks down at you slowly, all worry leaving his body as he sees you down on your knees, submissive eyes looking up at him threw your eyelashes and pout on your face waiting for his reaction :(((
You could never leave Si :((( you needed a real man :(( you needed the man in front of you with his thighs spread wide and cock hardening right before your eyes :(((
Palming him agonisingly slow, he grinds against your touch desperate for more friction :((( you tell him how you’d never leave him :(((( how his the only one for you and you couldn’t survive in a world like this without him by your side looking after you the way he does :((
Soft grunts leaving his lips as he pleads with you to take out his length and stroke his now hard, aching cock >:(
“I know baby, I was stupid to think tha’, I know, jus’… jus’ pump it for me yeah?’” Growing increasingly desperate as you don’t follow his command >:( telling him you’re looking after him tonight and that he doesn't need to worry :(( how its his reward for being so big and strong, defending you from your ex and being a man :(( that all he needs to do is relax :((
He audibly whines, a sound you had never heard from him before, when you finally slip his girthy cock out of his boxes.. .
You smile up a him as you kiss his tip and squeeze your thighs together at just the thought of pleasing him and not receiving any physical pleasure yourself :))))) 
Letting out a soft feminine giggle as pre cum covers your lips, Si having no choice but to sit helpless and watch the show you’re putting on for him :(((
He could absolutely take the lead if he wanted to, but something about you treating him, sucking his dick solely because you wanted to and not expecting anything in return was an offer you couldn’t turn down ;)
Teasing Si was fun but he deserved more tonight :((((( if it was up to you, lapping at his swollen tip for hours until he finally releases a desperate hot load onto your face would be a dream, but not tonight, Si gets everything tonight ;)
Slowly circling his leaky tip with your thumb, a soft groan falls from his lips as he sinks further into the couch :(((
Pumping him lightly, you place soft kisses from the top of his cock to his base :(((( Si bucking his hips and pleading with you threw his eyes just to suck it :((((( he tries so hard to hide his whines through deep groans but fails horribly :((( he was so tired tonight, emotionally and physically, any self control he would normally have was out the window :((
Taking your tongue, you lick from the base to the tip, salty sweat and pre cum filling your taste buds as your tongue glides up his vainy shaft :(
Si jerks forward a little at the sudden warm contact, throwing his head back as he eases into the warm sensation :3333
Without hesitation, you deep throat his 8 inch length, his tip hitting the back of your throat and your eyes watering instantly :((
Si’s callused hand instinctively grips your hair, rough grunts bounce off your apartment walls as he helped you set a ruthless pace, your mouth being abused and jaw aching from his sheer girth :(((
“That’s it Darlin’, fuck ya’ such a good girl for me, look at ya’ look at tha’ beautiful fuckin’ mouth taken’ me” 
Holding your head still as he throat fucks you, your saliva dripping down your chin and onto the dirty cream carpet that covers the living room floor:(((
Seeing the small bump of his cock appear at the front of your neck with each brutal rut :(( your flushed cheeks and teary eyes make a small cocky smile spread across his face >:( 
You were his! All his! Claiming your throat and having full control over how he fucks it makes his achy balls tighten as they slap against your chin :((
“That prick could never fuck you like I could, he’ll never feel ya’ fuckin throat again” he was so close to his release :((( Si was normally really good at holding off but the possessiveness of claiming your mouth with thick cum was pushing him over the edge in a matter of minutes :((((
Grabbing your hair tighter, he forcefully makes you deep throat his dick, your nose touching his pelvic bone and buried in his musky pubes <3 moans from your full mouth muffled by his cock shoved deep into your throat >:((
He cums hard…slow, deep thrusts as ropes of his salty seed run down your throat, you have no choice but to swallow his semen that his so politely given you :((
With each thrust, he lets out a quiet and strained “mine”. Its more to himself then you, reassuring himself that you were in fact his and his to keep :((
You remove your abused mouth from his cock, slowly pumping his now semi-hard dick with a dopey smile on your face, cum leaking out the corner of your mouth as you innocently look up at him and place a kiss on his swollen tip :))
You look so beautiful, covered in his cum and claimed :)
He leans down to kiss you, a thank you for what you did for him, but before he could even open his mouth you whisper a quite “I love you” into his lips… 
the first “I love you” you and Simon had ever shared :((
Its safe to say he said it back :333
And he says it again with his face inbetween your legs a minute later ;)))
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okay, okay, okay, I know I promised to upload this after work like....days ago BUT I totally forgot I had a concert on and didn't have time to finish writing it AND THEN this guy im talking to came over to meet my dad and everything just pilled up im so so so sorry...BUT in my defence, this is over 4k which is my longest fic ive written so far, I love y'all I promise
Request are open for Mechanic!Simon, I would love to hear your thoughts so feel free send them through and add to the AU.
!Disclaimer! - Above is NSFW content - MDNI - If you follow my blog without your age in your bio, you will be blocked - If you are under the age of 18, you are not welcome here, otherwise, enjoy :)
Cat divider sourced by @positively-mine from Pinterest - Pink line divider by @eloquentreverie - MDNI divider by @cafekitsune
Basic blog housekeeping -  fic requests guidelines, boundaries and my rules for minors
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persephone11110 · 1 year ago
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A Web Of Lies | J. Seresin
warnings: past physical abuse, past domestic violence-> old traditional views of how women are supposed to be,victim blaming—self victim blaming, hurt/comfort, protective jake seresin, mentions of throwing up and being on your period, oc death-> mentions of alcohol abuse and car accident
summary:“Y/n sometimes it best if women are seen and not heard,sometimes its best if you just take the hits and don’t react”. Mama tells you while holding an icepack to her swollen eye.
AN: do i need therapy or do i need keep writing oc’s with childhood trauma?
ocs: Betty L/n, Harry L/n, Darren
THIS STORY IS ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND GENERATIONAL TRAUMA AND MISOGYNISTIC SOCIETIAL VIEWS SO PLEASE BE CAREFUL
Women are seen not heard.
It’s a phrase you learned as a little girl, it’s an assumption youv’e lived by for awhile, taking it in consideration when saw your dad first hit your mom, when Darren first slapped you. Its always the women fault— it can never be the man fault.
You didn’t learn this lesson until your eight years old, when your father facade cripples quickly. Before this happened he was sweet to you, always calling you his princess, having tea parties with you—throwing you over his shoulder.
His laughter was loud and clear , just like yours until it isn’t. Your dad is everything a man is supposed to be until he isn’t. The loudness that once meant happiness turns into—loud agressive shouting, when it’s him and mama alone together.
Well they think their alone together. Your wandering down the staircase to see were he went as he promised to read you the cinderella story again—like he did most nights, reading to you until your snores filled the room.
They’re fighting again which isn’t surprising to say the least. Your parents always argued whether it was in hushed tones or it was so loud that your neighbors next door would come over and make sure everything was fine.
“Betty it wouldn’t be like this if you just made me happy!”,his voice booms, bouncing off the walls. He doesn’t look like he usually does, his hair was messy opposed to the gel back look he normally wore, his clothes has stains on it- something that was unheard of until tonight.
You swear mama not breathing after you watched daddy ball his fist up, striking her across the face. The cracking sound echoes throughout the living room, mama on the ground holding the right side of her face.
You go to open your mouth, worried for your mama. But before you can your nanny Louisa gently wraps her hand around your mouth. “Shh little one, lets get to bed–theres school remember”. Louisa picks you up and you lean your head on her shoulder, leaving your mama bleeding on the cold floor alone.
It makes mama stop arguing with daddy, his combat boots were heavy aganist the floor as he leaves through the front door— using all his strength to slame it.
In the morning you notice how quiet mama is, how red and swollen her face is. “Louisa taking you to school today Y/n” her voice is small and soft.
“Mama why did daddy hit you?”. She almost drops the kettle onto the ground, mama didn’t know you were there watching the vicious scene unfold.
Thats the day your mama infamous words get stuck in your head,“Sometimes mama makes daddy mad, sometimes women must be seen and not heard”.
It words that stay with Y/n for over an decade.
Circa of 2002
Your in your junior year of college when the lesson your mom taught you is sitting in the back of your mind.
Just take the hit Y/n, it makes life easier.
Your relationship with Darren is so fresh, yet your already mimicking how your mom acts around your dad. Your already walking on eggshells with him, he already rolls his eyes when you forget to give him the answers to the psychologyhomework—it meant your walking on thin line of his frustration.
Sometimes you think you deserve the bruises that riddle your body, how many times have you forgotten to call him back, when he tells you to. Sometimes he’s annoyed with how much you move in your sleep, “I can’t sleep Y/n if you move so much”.
Your relationship with Darren was the true epitome of Opposite Attracts. Like today you got excited telling Darren about the release of the book Coraline. You remembered him reminding you to calm down, him telling you didn’t care about his day.
Or when your on your period and he insists that your fine, and how you had the tendency to overreact when it came to your pain. How he’s sighs when your own the ground cleaning up your throw up as the cramps had gotten worse. Telling you its 2AM in the morning and he’s desperately trying to sleep, and now he can’t.
The guilt eats away at you for days, now when you get your period you slept on the bathroom floor.
You don’t have friends anymore, as Darren had grown controlling of your social life. “Am I not enough for you, Y/n?”. Your friends grow tired of seeing you so bruised, they grow tired of trying to help someone who didn’t want the help. Its just you and Darren now–at least he didn’t grow tired of you.
It took ten years for you to leave, your about two years into your nursing job. Your a hypocrite, as you stood infront of a woman in a coma, her husband had beaten to her within an inch of her life and the only chance she had at living was a medical induced coma.
Here you were holding her hand telling her it wasn’t her fault. “Sometimes we believe we don’t deserve better and we believe there is no one out there who will ‘love’ us”. You sighed, lifting one hand to wipe away your tears.
You left him-leaving the state and finding a job all the way in Miramar, California—changing your cell number and email. A phone call from your mother makes you almost burst out laughing,“Y/n I’m so sorry for your loss sweetheart he was such a nice boy”. Darren drinking habit has gotten worse, he managed to flip his car over on its side. You didn’t feel like telling her about the break up - there was no use anway, as she’ll tell you to beg for his love again, like all the other times.
Present
You sitting across from Jake, staring at him waiting for him to tell you how much you suck at cooking. Waiting for him to pick up the dish and chuck it over your head—listening to him pop open another beer, the plate and flood sliding down the wall.
It doesnt come, its never going to.
Jake gives you a soft smile, and he reaches for your hand to hold it, as he eats.“God damn darlin, you put your entire foot in it”.
“Thank you Jake”, You push your chair back, moving to collect his dish. He softly grips your hand, stopping you from moving.
“Darlin I have legs—finish your food first”. He drops a kiss onto your head before walking to the kitchen. His southern drawl thicker than usual.
Darren did always say you were stubborn. You were standing infront of the sink washing all the dishes that had been used for dinner. Despite Jake telling you didn’t have to.
“Y/n is cleaning so hard for you?”.
“Is it so hard for my girlfriend to clean up after herself?”, your holding a cold beer to your swollen face.
“Darlin, no”. Jake wraps his arms around you not caring about your wet clothes. “Let me do it Y/n”. He gently pushes you into the kitchen chair.
Jake doing the dishes right now.
Something your dad wouldn’t dare do for your mom,“Betty I’m tired the least my wife can do is clean up for me”. Darren wouldn’t neither—“Goodnight Y/n, or I’m watching the game”, leaving you in the dark kitchen alone.
Jake Seresin isn’t them, Jake isn’t the man you’ve spent majority of your life scared of. It’s takes time for you believe that, it takes time for you to believe his words,“I will never lay a hand on you Y/n”.
It took some time but staring at him washing the dishes singing along with Beyoncé you start to believe him. You know for certain that Jacob Grant Seresin is not like them—he can’t be.
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christophersturnilover · 10 months ago
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Do you think i made it inside your house?
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this story has some lines from popular halloween movies!
this is based on the songs
This story contains MURDER. This story is pretty long and English is not my first language! Not proofread.
Warnings- Murder, mentions of blood, angst, crying, stalking and i think thats it?
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
It was close to October, the stores were halloween themed and the cold breeze with the scent of pumpkin spice would fill your nostrils each morning you'd awake.
You'd go to your nearest coffee shop to buy your favorite coffee. A pumpkin spice latte cold or warm, which ever you chose it really didnt matter because, the only reason you had gon the last few days was because there was this guy.
His name was Christopher, you found him attractive. But unfortunately you were unlucky and he had already been in a relationship.
You would only want him to serve you but you were to embarrassed to even order infront of him, he'd obviously catch onto this pretty quickly and one day he asked you to hang out,
as friends but you said you were busy.
You suddenly felt envy towards him and his girlfriend everytime they'd hang out at the coffee shop during his breaks.
One night, you cried all eight full hours because you felt like you weren't enough or pretty enough for him.
That sadness quickly turned into hatred and jealousy.
The week after that, on a Friday you found yourself digging up your backyard to hide a fucking body.
How it happened. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
Ever since that night you cried, you wouldn't stop having dreams of Chris' girlfriend dead right on her living room floor as Chris was at the store getting snacks for both of them.
You had pretty much picked up the sign that maybe you should act on what your dreaming about.
You had been looking at where she goes to find the perfect moment to get rid of her, everyone as in your thoughts believed she was most vulnerable at her own home, Alone.
You saw she never acted on her thoughts and was only nice when Chris was around. Maybe she did infact deserve to be gone.
Yeah, "violence isn't always the answer" you thought. But isn't it sometimes? You tried so hard to gaslight yourself into believing you werent a bad person if you murdered someone just because she was a dick to other people and dated the guy you liked.
You followed her for three days straight and she rarely left her house unless it meant meeting up with your future boyfriend, Chris.
And once when you were following her, she realized it.
"Are you fucking following me?" She spat getting some of her damn spit on your face. Gross.
"What? No im waiting for my friends" You lied straight out of your teeth.
"Let's not lie hon, the only reason your following me is because you like MY boyfriend Chris so bad and you want to be me. But lets be honest, with the amount of depression and loneliness you hold, your future is absolute shit." She said.
Yeah she may have gagged but you wanted to stab her throat right there and then. If it weren't for all these morons watching the scene her guts would have been entirely ripped out of her stomach.
You walked away from her slowly going to this random group of people you didn't know,
But quickly went back to following her home.
It darkened quite quickly and you quietly entered through the open bathroom window. "What a fucking idiot" you thought.
She was on call with Chris completely ignoring what he was saying,
"hey, are you listening?" he said sweetly.
"yeah! of course" she said sarcastically.
You'd watched her every move, if she even moved an inch you'd want to drop kick this hoe into god knows where.
"hey, chris, i always feel somebody's watching me. i dont know why." she said, clearly scared of some presence always watching her every move.
They eventually hung up and you walked closer to her, my boots would creek everytime you'd move but you wouldn't complain.
"Who's there‽" she asked afraid to actually go and see.
She quickly locked her house through her phone.
Keeping your ghostface role you gave her a call from an unknown number,
"Who's this?" she asked in a rude tone.
"Do you think i made it inside your house before you could rearm?" you asked with my voice changer.
She hung up, scared. You could see it in her watery brown almost black eyes she was afraid. But you couldn't care less and acted on proceeding with your plans.
You went up behind her and ran your knife straight on her lower abdomen. She screamed so loud you bashed her head right on her marble counter causing her to drop on her floor. You continued to stab her on her stomach and on her chest, watching her choke on her own blood gave you some type of satisfaction.
Maybe you were insane or maybe you liked watching people you hated suffer to death.
She tried yelling but wasn't able to because of how you cut her throat. Ear to ear.
You didn't give a fuck about the mess in her house but you took her lifeless pale body and tossed it into and trash can. You dragged it towards your house and to your backyard and began to dig up a hole to the size of her body.
You had a crippling anxiety of getting caught but did it matter at this given moment? absolutely fucking not.
You threw her body in the hole and covered it then went inside your house but right when you opened your door, you saw a pale chris standing inside your house.
"Who are you? you killed her. you fucking psycho." he spat clearly angry and horrified.
He tried walking out but you pushed him making fall and slide back on the floor.
"Dont fucking start with me because im not afraid to end another life!" you threatened.
He moved back as you stepped closer,
"P-please no!" he stuttered.
"No one wants you to die sweetheart, but sometimes you dont really have choice." you said while holding your knife against his pale, creamy skinned neck.
"I won't snitch! please!" he begged as he squirmed to get out of your tight hold.
"stop fucking moving!" you spat cutting open his neck as his warm dark red blood spilled everywhere.
You were in awe as he chokes on his own blood trying to breathe but can't. You started to feel bad but sometimes you can grieve over the stuff you should and shouldn't have done.
And suddenly you found yourself sobbing, trying to find a way to help yourself stop what you did but you couldn't. There was absolutely nothing to justify both of the murders you committed that night.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
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CRIMSON LUST - CH 1
Fandom: Ateez Rating: Mature Genre: Dark Romance Pairing: Seonghwa/Hongjoong, San/Wooyoung/Yunho/Mingi/Yeosang/Jongho AO3 Masterlist Summary: Seonghwa never thought a case would drive him to the very brink of insanity. He was a good detective, he knew he was, but the Demon Killer case had a hold on him that he just could not shake, and the hold becomes even tighter when he finds himself a part of the very nightmare he was trying to run from. In a way, he'd become the Demon Killers latest victim, but what scared him the most... was that he liked it.
*** MY WORK IS NOT TO BE POSTED ON ANY OTHER SITE WITHOUT MY EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION. THOUGH REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE SUPER LOVED AND APPRECIATED! THANKS FAM!***
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A/N:
Okay, so, I have a lot to say about this before we get started!
First, I am so BEYOND excited to finally be posting this, you have no idea (maybe one person does have an idea lol). And speaking of that one person, this fic was written for and because of my very lovely Colorfulmoon_stars. If it was not for the endless amounts of rambling, and late night idea sessions, my constant (and I'm sure at times, super annoying) book length tumblr messages, and Colourful's wonderful amount of patience and love, this fic would never have even breached the idea phase. This fic is for you and everything you do for me every day! Love you so much!! <3
Now, just before anyone starts reading, incase you didn't read the tags this is a dark romance! There will be violence, blood, gore, torture. So if that's not your thing then please turn back! No hard feelings. There will also be a lot of polyamory in this fic, so again, if thats not your jam then that's okay.
Other then that, I hope everyone enjoys the fic, and I'm so excited for everyone to read this!
Happy reading! <3
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Chapter 1
Chapter Text
     Seonghwa woke, gasping for breath. His heart felt like it was pounding out of his chest, his throat burned with the sudden and sharp intake of air to his lungs, and his entire body was covered in a cold sweat. 
     It’d happened again. He knew it, deep in his bones he could already feel the dread weighing him down, and the aggressive vibrating of his phone on his side table was further proof he’d been doing this job for far too long. 
     He ran shaking hands down his face and stopped to rub at the sweet stinging his eyes before he grabbed his phone. He didn’t bother to answer, he was in no mood to have his chief tell him what he already knew, so he sent him a curt text instead. 
To: Chief Lee
     Send the location of the scene, I’ll be there within the hour. 
     He dropped his phone on the bed, losing it in the bunched up sheet around his waist, and didn’t bother to open the text when it vibrated from somewhere in its satin depths. He’d deal with it after he showered away the remnants of the nightmare. 
     If this case didn’t kill him, it would either be sleep deprivation or heart attack via nightmare that did. 
~~~~~~~~~~~
     Eight in the morning and he was already drowning in a sea of red.
     The body was propped against the trunk of a large tree, in a forest not far from the station. He knew the area well, he’d hiked every trail through it ten times over in the years he was training to become a detective, and this particular clearing had been a favourite spot of his. It intersected with most of the trails, and often Seonghwa would stop there mid hike for a break, sometimes he’d even lean against that very tree and pop open a book. It made the scene, and the entire case all the more chilling, more so than any of the others. 
     Seonghwa crossed beneath the yellow tape and stood on the dirt path before the tree. The body was slouched to the side, legs spread out before him, arms lifted above his head and suspended there. Posed just like the ones who came before him. But the rest of him was… unidentifiable to say the least. Seonghwa knew that in this victim’s case, just like all the others, there’d be no way to identify him. Every body related to this case was the same. No fingerprints to send through the system, blood not on file, face too terribly mutilated for facial recognition let alone attempt a reconstruction, no teeth for dental records. It was all so meticulously executed, so perfectly planned, that Seonghwa was almost impressed. And the final touch to every scene, the reason Seonghwa knew it was the same killer every time, was the gift he left behind. Always the same, and always for Seonghwa. 
     His eyes were fixed on the blood painted devil horns on the tree trunk, just above the mutilated head of the body. A calling card for all to know who was responsible. And for Seonghwa, in the lap of the man, untainted by blood and placed with the utmost care, a single perfect flower. 
     A cup of coffee broke his focus, breaking his line of sight to the body as he shook out of his trance and took it. “Thanks, Yunho,” he said, before tipping his head back and downing most of the cup in one go. Damn the burning in his throat. 
     “Jesus, Seonghwa,” San groaned, moving himself into his eye line, deeply examining his face with a scrutinizing look, “did you sleep at all?”
     “It doesn’t feel like it.” Seonghwa rubbed violently at his stinging eyes. 
     “Bad dreams again?”
     Seonghwa hummed and nodded at Yunho. “Every time there’s another muder I’m plagued with these insane nightmares, like somehow I’m attuned to it all.”
     “Well you have been chasing this guy for a long time now,” Yunho shrugged, “it makes sense that you feel connected to him in a way.”
     “I just want to catch this guy so that maybe I can start getting some sleep again.”
     “We have to do something about this guy, and sooner rather than later,” San said, then passed a tablet to Seonghwa, “somehow this murder already got leaked, and it’s causing an uproar. Not only are there people starting to riot because we haven’t caught him yet, but this killer seems to have amassed a following of “subjects loyal to his cause.” San quoted the article on the tablet, then reached over and swiped further down the page. “These nut jobs are calling him the Demon Killer, because of the horns he leaves at every scene, and that he is Lucifer risen from hell to release us all from the shackles of oppression.”
     Seonghwa groaned and rubbed at his eyes again as he passed the tablet back to San. 
     “The police are having a hard time with both the riots and the followers.” San tucked the tablet into his shoulder bag before turning back to look at the body. “If we don’t catch this guy soon, or at least get some kind of viable lead, the police are worried that the problems they're having with both groups are going to escalate.”
     “Unfortunately it doesn’t look like we’re going to get anything more at this crime scene than any of the others we’ve investigated.” Yunho said. “No prints, no DNA, no records of any kind to go by. He’s going to end up being another John Doe shoved into a drawer with the other six this guy’s left behind.” Then he lifted a hand and pointed a finger around his coffee cup. “Though I see he’s left you a gift again, Seonghwa.”
     Seonghwa sighed, passed his coffee back to San and reached into his jacket for a glove. He knelt down and picked up the flower, gently cradling it in his hands while he admired it's deep magenta petals. “Mugunghwa, Korea's national flower. It’s beautiful.”
     “How do we know it’s for you?” San asked. “Maybe it’s just another part of his calling card and it doesn’t actually have anything to do with you specifically.”
     “It’s for me,” Seonghwa answered, never moving his eyes from the flower, “the Rose of Sharon was my mothers favourite flower, and it’s the same flower I place over her and my fathers graves every month when I visit them. It’s not a coincidence, it’s definitely for me.”
     “But what does it mean? Why does he leave you flowers at every scene?”
     “Not just any flower,” Yunho answered and turned to San, “his mothers favourite flower, the Mugunghwa, it literally means the eternal blossom that never fades.”
     “And the meaning of that in regards to Seonghwa is…?”
     “He’s obsessed with me,” Seonghwa said and stood between them again, the flower still gently cradled in his hands, “and if we could find out why then maybe we could catch some kind of lead, unfortunately I don't think that’ll be the case.”
     San turned in to them, enclosing their circle. “What do you want us to do?”
     “Let’s leave the scene to the investigations team since I don’t think being here is going to get us anywhere,” Seonghwa said, then waved them away from the scene, “I think our best bet is to head back to the station and see if we can get ahold of camera footage from anywhere in a five mile diameter of this area. Traffic cams, nearby stores, even peoples home security that may have caught even a glimpse of the road, let’s review it all. Hopefully something will bite.
~~~~~~~~~~~
     Nothing did. Just as Seonghwa expected, everything came back as a dead end. DNA, fingerprints, nothing came back with a match, and their crime scene unit once again found no other traces at the scene. This killer was meticulous, never left behind anything that could be traced back to them, and Seonghwa was staring yet another cold file in the face. 
     “Seonghwa… Seonghwa!” 
     Seonghwa jumped in his desk chair and looked away from the giant red cross that had been striked across the front of the file. 
     “Seonghwa, you need to get out of here and get some sleep.” San walked over to stand beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Staring at this file isn’t going to make evidence magically appear.”
     “I know,” he sighed and leaned forward, resting his head in his hands, “but look how empty this file is, look how empty they all are.” He reached down and ripped open the bottom drawer of his desk, revealing a pile of other case files all in much the same state. Practically empty aside from a few crime scene photos, an empty identification chart, and a red cross on the front. 
     San reached in and took one, then held it up while looking down at Seonghwa with concern. “You… you’ve kept all these files in your desk this entire time? You’re not supposed to have these, they’re supposed to be in the cold case locker.”
     “They’re copies, I know I can’t keep the original files, but that’s not the point.”
     “Then what is?” San asked, crossing his arms. 
     “The point is that we have been chasing this killer for who knows how long and this is all we’ve got.” He violently gestured to the drawer and spun his chair to face San. “All these bodies, each scene becoming more violent than the last, and all I've got is no leads and an entire section in the morgue filled with ashes of John Doe’s who will never be claimed.”
     “You forgot to mention a mountain of guilt that you shouldn’t be putting on yourself, and countless hours of sleep to catch up on.” San stepped forward and knelt in front of Seonghwa, placing a hand on his knee and holding his gaze. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself, this case is going to kill you if you keep letting it eat at you like this.”
     “But I can’t…” He ran tight fingers through his hair, nearly ripping it out he pulled so hard. “I can’t let it go, I can’t let him get away with everything he’s done, all these lives he’s taken, and we don’t even know what for?!”
     “He’s a serial killer, he probably doesn’t have a reason, at least not one that’s sane. You know that.” 
     “I have to catch him,” Seonghwa whispered, sounding almost crazed, “I need to.”
     San sighed. “All we can do is try our best, but unfortunately with no evidence and no leads we’re at a loss. One day this guy will make a mistake and we’ll be able to get the jump on him, but all we can do right now is wait until that day comes, as much as that sucks.”
     Seonghwa raised his brows and sat back in the chair. “Yeah, but will that day come before or after I join him in delirium?”
     “If we have anything to do with it, before,” Yunho answered as he walked over and joined them. He stopped just behind San and gave Seonghwa a very obvious once over. “San’s right, you need to sleep this off and come back to work tomorrow refreshed. Come on, I’m going to take you home.”
     “No, I don’t need sleep, I need to find answers-”
     “I’ll even tuck you in, tell you a bedtime story.” He clearly wasn’t taking no for an answer, and reached around San and beneath the desk to grab Seonghwa’s bag. “Let’s go.”
     “If it makes you feel better, I’ll stay here and keep trying, see if I can dig anything up.”
     Seonghwa nodded at San then surrendered the fight and stood. He honestly was far too tired to even attempt to resist Yunho, knowing full well if he dared put up a fight he’d simply hoist him over his shoulder and easily carry him out of the station. So he shuffled behind Yunho and followed him out to his car. 
     They made the quick ten minute drive from the station to his apartment building. Yunho pulled into the underground parking, grabbed the first spot he could find, hoisted Seonghwa’s bag from the back seat and followed him to the elevator. He wasn’t taking any chances on leaving Seonghwa to find his own way to bed, just in case he decided to turn and make a run for it the second Yunho turned his back, Seonghwa even half suspected he was serious about tucking him in. 
     When they reached his door, Yunho didn’t even give Seonghwa the chance to grab his keys to open it himself. He already had his own keys in hand, and reached around him to use the spare key Seonghwa had given him, and opened the door. He walked in behind Seonghwa, hovering in the doorway while he looked around in shock. 
     It’d been a long time since he’d been in Seonghwa’s apartment. Work had been so involved lately they hadn’t had much time to spend together outside of it, but never had he seen it in such a state. It was littered with half empty takeout containers, on the floor, the counter, Yunho shuddered to think what he’d find if he opened the fridge. The garbage was overflowing, there were clothes tossed in every corner, and by the looks of the sheets and pillows bunched on the couch, Seonghwa had been sleeping there. But what horrified Yunho the most was the wall in front of the couch. 
     The tv had been taken down and pushed into the corner of the room, and replaced by a collage of crime scene photos. They were pinned to the wall in no particular order. It seemed that Seonghwa may have started by grouping them based on the crime scenes, but with each passing case they became more scattered and frantic. They were connected with a spider's web of red string, question marks and scribbles that more resembled hieroglyphics written in marker. More files and pictures were spread out across the coffee table and floor. No wonder Seonghwa hadn’t been sleeping, and no wonder he was having nightmares, he was completely surrounded. And to make matters even more horrifying, on a small side table moved to the centre of the murder wall, with a perfect view of it from the couch, was a vase.
     It was filled with the dead and decaying stems of what Yunho assumed was every single flower the killer had left for Seonghwa at past crime scenes. The remnants of Mugunghwa petals were scattered amongst the table and floor around it, dried up and crumbled to dust. And in the centre of the morbid bouquet was the newest flower that had been left at yesterday's crime scene, a vibrant magenta empowered by the contrast of the decaying stems encompassing it. 
     “Jesus…” Yunho cautiously wandered in, still eying the apartment in shock. “Seonghwa, what the hell is going on here?”
     Seonghwa dropped his jacket on the floor, not caring where it landed, and plopped himself on the couch. His head was tossed over the back but his eyes immediately locked on the pictures. “I’m fine now, you can go, I'll see you at the station tomorrow.”
     Yunho stared at him for a moment, unmoving, then instead of heading for the door he moved over to stand beside the couch. “Seonghwa, this isn’t healthy.”
     He sighed and closed his eyes, knowing he wasn’t so much talking about the mess but more the smattering of dead bodies plastered to the wall. “You don’t understand.” He rubbed his eyes then sat up, leaning on his knees. “I have to solve this case, I need to. If I can find him, then maybe… maybe I can finally sleep.”
     “But there’s a difference between being dedicated to your work and… this.” He gestured to the wall. “You can’t obsess like this, you can’t let this consume you. I know you want to solve this case but trust me, things will unfold in time as they should.”
     “But what if that doesn’t happen soon enough?” Seonghwa asked, almost shouted, a bit frantic and on edge. “What if he keeps dropping bodies and I never find him? Every second that passes that I don’t catch him, risks someone's life.”
     “I know,” he soothed, “and I understand your frustration, but you also need to realize that you’re not carrying this burden alone. You’ve got me, and San is still at the station trying to work through the evidence in case we missed something somewhere along the line. I’m sure that something will give, it’s going to make sense soon enough and then we can make our next move. But until that happens, you can’t stay here.”
     “And where else am I going to go?”
     “My place, come on.” He pulled Seonghwa off the couch and moved behind him to push him toward the door, with a bit of resistance on Seonghwa’s part. “This apartment is the definition of insanity. You need to leave work at the station, you can’t surround yourself like this to the point where all you’re seeing is this case. No wonder you’re having nightmares, Seonghwa.”
     “It’s fine, honestly. The wall helps me focus on the case.”
     “No,” Yunho shook his head, “no more case, no more murder wall, you’re staying at my place until further notice. I care about you too much to let this keep consuming you like this.”
     “At least let me pack a bag-”
     “Anything you need I already have at home. Now, let’s go.”
~~~~~~~~~~~
     Yunho's apartment wasn’t far from Seonghwa’s. They stopped for takeout on the way, and within twenty minutes they were already walking into his living room. 
     “You take my room and I’ll take the couch.” 
     Seonghwa turned and shook his head. “I can’t make you sleep on the couch while I’m in your bed. I can take the couch.”
     “Not a chance.” Yunho shook his head and waved Seonghwa toward the bedroom. “You need proper sleep in an actual bed. I know you’ve been sleeping on your couch at home, and that ends today. So you take the bed, no more protests, and I’ll be in to check on you soon to make sure you’re actually sleeping. I’ll be out here if you need me, I just have to make a quick call.”
     “To San?” He asked with a roll of his eyes. “So he can demolish my apartment?”
     Yunho gave him a sympathetic smile. “It’s non-negotiable, Seonghwa, it’s gotta come down. Now, go to sleep.”
     Seonghwa sighed, but reluctantly turned and entered Yunho's bedroom. He closed the door most of the way but decided to leave it open just a crack, and leaned in to listen to Yunho’s conversation with San, to hear for himself the inevitable fact that his wall was coming down and that both Yunho and San thought he was crazy. He wasn’t crazy, he just wanted justice. 
     From his vantage point he could see Yunho round the couch and plop down, phone already to his ear. Then San answered. 
     “Hey… I ended up taking him to my place instead, I couldn’t leave him at his apartment. He’s taken his obsession with this to a whole new level. He’s got copies of crime scene photos pinned to his living room wall, he’s been collecting the flowers in a vase, case files everywhere. I just…” Yunho lifted his free hand and pinched the bridge of his nose while scrunching his face. “I think it’s going a bit too far, I think it’s time.”
     Yunho sat and listened while the person in the other line spoke. Likely San rambling about how worried he was, sharing his concern about the pictures and the case files. 
     “Alright,” Yunho said when the other stopped talking, “I’ll keep him here for now so I can keep an eye on him, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
     Yunho hung up and tossed his head over the back of the couch with a hard sigh, so Seonghwa closed the door and laid on the bed. He cocooned himself in the blankets and curled in on himself while he tried, and failed, to go to sleep. His mind was too amped up, and he was too filled with rage to do anything more than lay there and curse Yunho and San. ~~~~~~~~~~~ A/N: I hope you all liked the first chapter! If anyone wants to be tagged for future chapter posts, I'd be happy to do so! <3
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deepdisireslonging · 1 year ago
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Surrender
Pairing: Ricky Starks x Reader
Warnings/Promises: Angst, canon-level violence
Word Count: 850
Note: Doing a bit of a character study for a larger work thats about to come out. In the words of the Dread Pirate Roberts: "To the Pain" ->
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The roar of the crowd echoed in your head like a pack of wolves baying for blood. Just feet from you, caged in by ring ropes and across a desert of canvas, the love of your life battled for you.
Already you could see the bruises forming on his skin. The bright welt across his chest from the slaps. The dark gelatinous forms around his ribs from punches and kicks. But what worried you the most was how Joe’s elbows were hungry to catch Ricky’s throat. If he did that, it would end the match.
Every so often, Joe glanced your way. The match progressed, and Ricky’s offense moved slower and slower. And Joe’s face slid with ease into a smug grin as the end glared inevitable.
“I need to ask you something.” You twisted the traitorous cloth around your fingers. Small enough to hide from Ricky on your way down to the match. Large enough to weigh like a boulder of guilt in your pocket. You swallowed as Britt waited for you to continue. “What do you do? When Adam is going to far; when you both know he won’t return to you in one piece?”
She tasted several answers on her tongue before answering. “You be there for him. Stand there. Watch the pain, feel it burn in your lungs. And you give it back to him as a strength that will motivate him either to the finish or the end. But my experiences… they’re not like what you’re going to have to endure. I’m sorry I can’t be more help.”
“That’s alright. Thank you.”
The ring shook as Ricky bounced off the ropes, hurtling towards his target. His eyes gleamed with focus and determination. Despite what advice Britt had given you, the cheers and praise you wanted to give him died on your lips. Mostly you could manage a smile when he looked your way. One that he would return. And then shift back to the matter at hand.
Still, your lungs quaked.
If he won: he was number one contender. If he tapped out: Joe was number one contender. And you would work for him instead. No pinfall. No count-outs. No disqualifications. Submission only.
You knew him. His match with Danielson was before you joined the roster as Ricky’s valet. And before the feelings developed. You hated how you longed for his touch after matches now. Wanting to feel and know that he was okay like you had never needed before. Ricky wouldn’t tap. He had passed out instead of tapping to Danielson’s brutal victory. The recovery period had, apparently, been more brutal than what the cameras revealed.
Would you be able to survive them with him?
Would the potential championship be worth it?
Then, your nightmare came to fruition.
Joe’s grip caught Ricky’s wrist. With a quick tug, your love was in his arms. Joe turned so you could see his face contort, so you could see him gasp for air. And behind him, like a grinning gargoyle ready to spill a waterfall of brimstone on your dreams, Joe watched you. He waited. Listened. Patiently paused his malice to see what you would do.
“Here.” Joe drifted out of the shadows and handed you a small square of white. “He’s going to need it.”
The fabric seemed to burn your hands. But Joe refused to take it back.
“We both know him. You better than most. He won’t tap. To keep you near he’d rather hold hot coals than let me borrow you.” He stepped near, trapping you against the wall. “I won’t need you long. I promise. Once the title’s mine, you can go back to him. But he’s in my way of getting my title back. If he wants to have a bit of a rematch after I hold gold, he’s welcome to it. Until then,” he nodded at the cloth, “think about it. And what’s best for him.”
Biting your bottom lip, you dragged the surrender out of your pocket.
Ricky’s eyes, already drooping shut from wont of oxygen, widened. He did his best to shake his head. Holding out his hand, he rasped, “reach for me.”
Your hand slid between the ropes. Though your fingertips would never be able to touch, maybe your closer proximity could help him find a way out?
The grip tightened around his throat, and Joe fell to one side. His leg pinned down Ricky’s flailing limbs.
You watched the glow fade from his eyes. His gaze, glazed and empty, never moved from where he knew you to be. But his lips were already taking on a purple hue.
Joe nodded at the square in your hands.
Against your will, it dragged your hand up to the bottom rope, draping the white fabric where everyone could see it.
“No! Y/N, I’ll-” Ricky coughed, forcing a smidgen of oxygen into his lungs. “I’ll be alright. Don’t.”
Without sound, you whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“Y/N!”
Before you could think about it, your knees bit into the apron and you caught the attention of the referee. Eyes brimming with tears, you tossed in the towel, ending the match.
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majorasnightmare · 5 months ago
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Sliding these across the table to Dirge discreetly into a giant pile
What does your character smell like?
Is your character willing to ask for things?
How big is your character's appetite?
Is there a creature that scares your character?
Who would your character first seek if they needed medical help?
What words could tear your character down?
What is your character’s opinion on cheating in games?
throws dirge into the pile like tossing your dog into a pile of laundry and watching them scrabble to get out of all the shirts
What does your character smell like?
I answered that here already but as a bonus: Dirge enjoys herbal or spiced scents, so cinnamon, cloves, rosemary, basil, and the like, so once he settles down with Minthara, that'd be the kind of soaps he'd use!
Is your character willing to ask for things?
It varies! If its something that trips his pride, something he feels he should do himself ("basic" tasks like self care or laundry, managing the Urge and Bhaal's influence) then he won't ask for help of any kind, and trying to get him to consider it is like pulling teeth. Asking for help with anything else tho is easy.
Dirge isn't a materialistic kinda guy, so while he doesn't have anything against asking for things he'd want, he just can't think of anything. He's awful to gift shop for because of that.
Really can't think of anything he'd ask for that wasn't help or things in general! But that's the general ruleset he works under, up there.
How big is your character's appetite?
Years of suicidal depression and stress have utterly divorced Dirge from his own bodily sensations. He's always exhausted, so he struggles to know when he should sleep, and on point, he almost never ate back at the temple, so he doesn't fully recognize when he's hungry or when hes full. Dirge eats almost entirely out of the knowledge its necessary, and doesn't feel any difference between eating once a day, or eating three times a day.
However, as the mf in charge of him, I can tell you how much he can eat! As a specialized man hunting predator, with essentially a divine furnace fueling any number of godspawn oddities, Dirge can pack away an ungodly amount of food without any issues, seemingly contradicting his athletic caster build. His digestive system is optimized for protein and can safely digest raw meat without much worry of food poisoning, and he can tear through a larger volume of meat than other food groups because of it. At a buffet, Dirge could probably work his way to 7 to 12 plates before needing to tap out, depending on the size and how much meat they have available.
Only one of those plates would be dessert though. He's not a sweets guy.
Is there a creature that scares your character?
Dirge is a calculating, pragmatic planner who usually has a fairly accurate assessment of the combat abilities of his forces vs the abilities of his enemies. That kind of mindset tends to defang most fear he would feel, and most of his anxities are more metaphysical and existential for it. If its material, it bleeds, and if it bleeds, it can die. If it can die, there is a combination of skill and circumstance that will kill it. Thus, its death is more akin to a puzzle Dirge has to solve and then execute.
And thats if Dirge doesn't have a borderline fetishistic appreciation for the beast first. The monstrous, the abberant, the strange and ungodly, all more likely to arouse Dirge's desire (there isn't always a neat distinction between Dirge's desire for violence and other bodily temptations) than his fear. It isn't easily discernible if Dirge wants to dissect something, BE that something, admire it, or fuck it, but you definitely wouldn't say he'd be scared to find out. If it doesn't inspire THAT particular concoction of emotion, it either bores him, or triggers his intense cuteness aggression (which will usually result in it's death). Let it be known that he IS capable of being normal about creatures, especially anything that applies for Speak with Animals, this is just the more extreme and dramatic end of the spectrum. Manticores, krakens, dragon turtles, aboleths, mind flayers, so on and so forth.
If theres a creature that scares Dirge, he hasn't found it and I can't think of it lmao
Who would your character first seek if they needed medical help?
Shadowheart, Isobel, Minthara or Halsin. Omeluum for anything relating to Dirge's brain injury. If someone else needed medical help, Dirge himself is proficient in medicine, an adept alchemist with plenty of medicines memorized, and much to everyone's horror, his fleshwarping magic is perfectly suited to closing wounds and reattaching limbs. He knows what he's doing, you'll be perfectly fine. He's already figured out your blood type so you won't reject the limb. It'll be fine. We have to work fast before it starts rotting. Don't worry. He's here to kiss it allllll better.
His healing is more or less an accelerated regeneration, and limb recovery involves him melting the stump into the flesh of the limb hes attaching, so it uh. Feels Quite Bad. He's good at what he does, so unless you have an undiagnosed autoimmune disorder, you're likely to make a full recovery as he matches the limb to your blood type and makes sure its genetically compatible, and just closing wounds or regenerating damage isn't capable of causing any problems beyond what an accelerated metabolism can trigger (expect the munchies) so. No worries?
Or he can still grab Shadowheart or whoever. If you're going to be a lil bitch about it or whatever 🙄 If we can even spare the time for that 😒
What words could tear your character down?
Genuine anger or disdain directed towards him from people he loves would absolutely devastate him. Dirge puts a lot of effort into being considerate and accomodating of his loved ones, and tries to be as open and upfront about potential dangers or upsetting things as possible, so failing in his efforts and somehow hurting or upsetting one of them enough for them to take it out on him would be an instant critical hit. A stranger isn't really capable of saying anything thatd provoke an emotional response out of Dirge, but someone like Karlach or Wyll responding with genuine malice would stick with him for years. Even the significantly weaker relationships he had with everyone back at the start of Act 1 were important enough to him that their cold reactions post Alfira's death really stuck with him.
Overall, hes very socially oriented with the handful of loved ones he cares about, so they have a lot of power to inflict harm on him through those bonds.
What is your character's opinion on cheating in games?
IF YOU DON'T GET CAUGHT, IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. Rules are a tool you use to get what you want! If they ain't helpin, TOSS EM OUT. If everyones drunk as shit, and barely paying attention as is, you can just claim one of the Monopoly railroads. Thats what they get for being less sober than you. You can just count the cards at blackjack, if you aren't some kind of loser who tips off the house about it. If you can figure out how to cheat at Uno, youve earned the right to cheat at Uno!! You play games for one of two reasons: to WIN or to have fun. Cheating doesn't inherently contradict either of those. Just don't be stupid about it. Pissing off all your friends counts as being stupid about it.
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carpedzem · 2 years ago
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questionnaire results that i didnt forget about at all
im okay so i forgot and then forgot again a few times. ANYWAY. enjoy the results!!
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i cant post every written answer, so heres my favourite :)
whats your favourite animal, be as specific as possible
Peregrine Falcon
domestic cat! specifically MY cats but any cat will do
your mom
Black bear. One tried to walk into my house recently and he was really cute but I had to tell him no :( (ARE YOU OK?)
Dumbo octopus
fancy rats
honestly i’ve always been too scared to settle on one animal as a favorite, because it feels like a question with no satisfying answer. like if i had to be honest it’s probably dogs? because i’ve grown up around them, they’re an animal i like beyond just aesthetic purposes. but when you hear this sort of question, you wonder if the asker wants to hear about something exotic, some random interest that caught the interviewees eye at a young age and never left their conscious. anyways i think it’s probably house cats
rainbow trout, luzon-bleeding hearts, and horses.. dogs too
emperor penguin
any type of liddol snake. I love them so
sea sheep
Long eared Jerboa
(most people chose cat)
george (42,5%)
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second place with also a lot of votes (37%)
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sapnap (45,7%)
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dream (44,1%)
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this is my favourite question and i cant believe i misspelled it
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you can put two of your mutuals against each other in a fight. who do you chose
i can’t answer this they all hate one another it’s too real. bellaya (bellaya was the most popular answer)
Lost and Kiuda. There can only be one (one of what)
Can I just give loyal a nice spa day? I'd like to give loyal a nice spa day
violence is never the answer
🤦🏻‍♂️🤣
i would fight them all myself obviously
I fear that no matter who I put here they'd just give up and make out instead
I only have two moots I joined tumblr a day ago help (i wonder how this person likes it here so far)
Nunki "demonstars" vs Nov "sueñitos" for La Velada 2024
no fighting…. sharika shakira
Gogciety v powergnf battle of the golos
im giving you a gun with only one bullet. what do you do (vent section) (while a lot of answers made me laugh a lot im gonna skip ones that can get us in trouble LMAO. but remember you made ME laugh)
Listen would killing q give us usmp back? No. Would it make me feel SO MUCH BETTER??????? YES!!!!!! (i mean obv q took like half of the shots. the other popular answer was just lining everyone)
I give it to Sapnap. He has made it clear he will kill for Dream god bless
am i given a time machine? can i shoot someone already dead? does it have to be someone reasonably killable? the answer to these questions is irrelevant because no matter what i want it to be steve jobs.
shoot at internet cable
going to british land and the first dumbass cc i see gets it
use it to open a jar because my hands are very weak and im too embarrassed to ask anyone else to open it for me
only one :(?
Lay it carefully on the ground.
hand it to George he could judge more fairly than I (and hope he doesn't shoot Sapnap)
i send the gun and bullet to the dteam house as a secret gift with a note explaining that it's for sapnap and george only, and a letter stating to pass extras to the rest of the munchy squd. if we all donate our weapons to them, they'll be able to shoot all of dream's haters. the only obstacle is dream himself, which is why he can't know what's in the box.
Give it to gnf&sapnap and watch them fight over it
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(IM SORRY I FORGOR....)
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top drolo 2023 - ones i forgot about
punz
hannah
puffy
bbh
squidkid
Radio statio guy
SYLVEEYYYY
illumina
me. sorryyr i dont mean that
you (im soo not BUT THANK YOU)
I think all munchies deserve this spot, theyre all the best drolos :(( i love them
powergpu guy (jesse)
george deserves it tbh for slut smp (that is true, but i excluded snf bc i was afraid they will sweep...)
shadoune
LARRAY
Lil nas X
THATS ALL. thank you everyone who took part in this AND ONCE AGAIN IM SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT IT.... ill be better next time o7
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zombiebastian · 10 months ago
Text
Beavis and Butthead in Saw II
Read the very first one here
Warnings: uhh well its based on Saw, Saw is very violent so if you don't like violence and gore please leave or read with caution, also since this is from B&BH's point of view some of the descriptions of events from Saw 2 are weird but hopefully not too bad
It had been 6 months since Beavis and Butthead had been forced to play one of Jigsaw's games, of course Beavis ended up cutting off his own foot to escape, leaving Butthead behind.
Luckily for them both, 2 amazing things happened. One, their TV was perfectly fine, and two, Butthead was somehow rescued by.... Uhhh... Since I'm lazy, Jotaro Kujo I guess.
Unfortunately their school was not blown up and Stuart was not killed like what Jigsaw said on the tape but getting their TV back was worth it all. The 2 had continued to live their life as normal, watching TV, dreaming of scoring with hot chicks, eating nachos, bothering their teachers, you name it.
John 'Jigsaw' Kramer was not happy that they hadn't learnt their lesson from playing his game, its clear they needed to be put through another test to see how much they valued life, so, almost exactly 6 months after the bathroom game, they had awoken in a room alongside 8 other people.
"Uuuhhhh... Where are we Beavis?" Asked Butthead whom had just awoke a few seconds ago, Beavis was still asleep. Butthead realised Beavis was not responding so he decided to kick his sleeping friend "Wake up, dumbass, we're like... Not on the couch like we were when we last slept,"
"Aah!" Beavis yells as Butthead kicks him and he wakes up "Wait a minute, wheres the TV?"
The 2 looked around to notice that there were 8 other people in the room, a few of them still unconscious "Woah, huhuhu... Cool," Butthead says "We're at a party, and there's chicks here too, we've never been to a party before,"
One of the women, Laura, pointed out a camera in the top corner of the room "Hey Beavis, we're on TV, we're gonna be famous," Butthead stated, Beavis replying with a loud happy "Yes! Chicks love famous dudes!"
The 7 conscious other people were silently judging Beavis and Butthead, but the 2 were a bit stupid to realise this. Eventually the final person finally awoke, a woman named Amanda.
It seemed when Amanda had realised she had woken up in an unrecognisable place, she began to panic and look around the room, when questioned by one of the others she answered something along the lines of "He wants us to play his game! Damnit why?! I already beat your game so why are you testing me again?!"
Beavis and Butthead, as well as the 7 others were confused, what was she talking about? While looking around she pulled the bricks off of some sort of fire place.
While Amanda was searching thats when Beavis and Butthead both realised 2 different things. Beavis realised that this woman was Amanda Young, more than 10 months ago he saw her on the news, as she was one of the only known victims to have survived the Jigsaw killers traps.
Butthead, meanwhile, noticed there was a giant safe in the middle of the room, he wondered how much money was in there.
Eventually Amanda found a tape, a key and a piece of paper in the fire place "Hey Butthead, I think we've been kidnapped by that Jigsaw guy again," Beavis explains, Butthead replies "Really? If our TV is in danger again I'm gonna kick his ass, when I saw him last time he was really old so I bet I could do that easily,"
Amanda began to play the tape.
"Greetings and welcome. I trust that you are all wondering where you are. I can assure you that while your location is not important, what these walls offer you is important, salvation, if you earn it. 3 hours from now, the door to this house will open. Unfortunately, you only have 2 hours to live. Right now, you are breathing in a deadly nerve agent. You've been breathing it since you arrived here. Those of you familiar with the Tokyo subway attacks will know its devastating effects on the human body. The only way to overcome it and walk out that door is to find an antidote. Several are hidden around this house. One is inside the safe in front of you. You all possess the combination to the safe. Think hard. The numbers are in the back of your mind. The clue to their order can be found over the rainbow. Once you realize what you all have in common, you will gain a better understanding of why you're here. X marks the spot for that clue, so look carefully. Let the game begin,"
"Deadly gas? Beavis did you cut the cheese again?" Butthead asks, Beavis answering "No, I don't think so, hehehe,"
Pretty much everyone in the room apart from Beavis, Butthead and some buff guy named Xavier were in a state of panic and dread. Xavier read the piece of paper that came with it reading "Don't use the key on the door,"
Xavier and some other guy named Gus quite obviously disagreed with the message on the paper, as they decided to take the key to the locked door and begin trying to open it, Amanda pleaded with them not to, and even Beavis and Butthead admited that it was a bit stupid of them not to listen considering she had already been in one of these traps and knew how this Jigsaw guy worked.
Xavier bent down and began unlocking the door while Gus peeped through the eyehole, after a few moments there was a loud bang.
Gus then slowly collapsed, revealing a massive injury to his eye, in fact his eye was nowhere in sight and he was bleeding everywhere. Most people in the room began screaming and panicking, Gus had just been killed, meanwhile Beavis and Butthead...
"Woah, he just died," Butthead said, not really concerned. The 2 then began to headbang as they loudly hummed a heavy metal song.
One of the others, Jonas (one of the only reasonable people in this trap to be fair) approached them
"You think thats funny?!"
Butthead replied "Uhhh... No, we think its cool,"
Jonas said "That man just died! You think its cool?"
Beavis answers "Uhhh... Yeah, hehehe,"
Jonas didn't say anything after that, but he approached Amanda and demanded to know how she knew where the tape, key and paper was, she began to explain Jigsaws games, how she put in the reverse beartap for doing drugs and how she had to fish for a key in her "dead" cellmates stomach, but she survived.
"Hey Beavis, check this out," Butthead whispered to Beavis before approaching Amanda "Uhhhh, hey babeh. I see you were put in a Jigsaw trap, I was put in a Jigsaw trap too,"
Beavis interrupted "Oh yeah yeah! I was with him too! I cut my foot off! Hehehe"
Amanda ignored these two because she already knew this information. Daniel, a kid around Beavis and Butthead's age whom had been sitting quietly in the corner the whole time, took Gus's jacket and used it to cover the dead mans face, not wanting to see that horrific sight.
While everyone else was searching a way out the room, the door just randomly opened by itself. Everyone quickly exited the room and saw there was a magnum gun behind the keyhole, that must've shot Gus and killed him.
Everyone began looking around the house
"This place is weird," Beavis states "Its all like... Greenish yellowish, it smells like pee, the chicks here are pretty hot though, know what I'm sayin'? Hehehe"
Butthead replies with a stern "Agreed."
At the front of the house there was a door with a big "EXIT" written on it, it of course would not open until the 3 hours had passed.
Most of the doors in the house are locked, but they eventually find one that opens, one that leads them all to the basement, also Xavier had a lamp with him for some reason.
They all slowly entered the basement to find a large room, and down there was a hooded figure sitting at a table facing away from everyone.
Xavier approached the figure with the lamp, prepared to kill them if they made a wrong move, Jonas approached behind Xavier and pulled the hood of the figure, making both of them flinch
"AHH! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! ITS SO CREEPY!" Yelled Beavis when he saw it.
The figure was in fact just a dummy, a very creepy looking one that gave everyone uncanney valley vibes, on the chest of the dummy was a piece of paper with one word written
"OBI"
Xavier questions what the hell "OBI" meant, "Oh I know!" Beavis said "Its like, Obi Wan Kenobi!"
Butthead slapped Beavis "No way, dork, there's no way Jigsaw is a Star Wars fan, and even if he was why would he reference it here?"
"Actually, my name is Obi (pronounced Ah-bi)," said one of the others in the group, of course his name was Obi
"Butthead! Look! The real Obi Wan Kenobi is here with us! He'll save us and kick Jigsaw's ass for sure, though he does look a little different to what he's like in the movie..." Beavis exclaimed.
At this point everyone ignored whatever Beavis and Butthead said and didn't even try to correct them, they had figured they were both just really mentally challenged idiots.
Near the dummy was a tape so Xavier decided to play it.
"Hello Obi. I want to play a game. For years, you've burned those around you with your lies, cons, and deceits. Now you'll have to redeem yourself, for the games you've played with others, by playing one of mine. Inside the device in front of you are 2 antidotes for the poison coursing through your veins. One is my gift to you for helping me kidnap the others. The second is yours to donate. However, one of them will come with a price. Remember, Obi, once you are in Hell, only the Devil can help you out,"
"Wait a minute, what does that mean, kidnap the others?" Asked Jonas, Obi replied "How would I know?"
"He's the one who put us here," said Laura who was sitting near the shelves on the other side of the room "The car... It was you, I knew I recognised you, you were the last person I saw before I woke up here,"
Thats when Beavis and Butthead realised that this guy had also brought them here, they thought back to the last thing that happened before they woke up in this house.
"Woah, he also brought us here, he was like hiding behind our couch and stuff, and while we were watching Baywatch he came up behind us and put this thing on our face and it made us fall asleep," Butthead explains.
Everyone glared at Obi after Laura and Butthead had told them all about what happened, most of them also starting remember seeing him before they woke up in this mysterious house.
"Are you sure its him? You better be sure," Jonas says, Laura replies "I'm sure,"
Obi looked at Jonas and said "You would've done the same if you new what I had to do,"
Xavier was obviously not happy hearing this, he grabs a nearby knife and says "You've got 5 seconds to get us out of here!!"
Obi answers "I don't know the way out,"
"Bullshit!" Yelled Laura
Beavis and Butthead approach Laura, Beavis saying "Exactly, I bet he's like, Jigsaws brother something,"
While Xavier was threatening Obi at knifepoint, Butthead attempted to flirt with Laura "Don't worry babeh, I'll like, find a way out of here," Laura wasn't really in the mood so she didn't reply.
Before Xavier was about to attack Obi, one of the others, Addison, broke them up
"Hey listen to me!" She yelled "We've got two antidotes in the back of that oven, we're waisting time here!"
Beavis and Butthead was ignoring all of the conflict going on "Hey Beavis, the chicks here are hot, maybe if I can get the antidote in the oven they'll want to score with me," Butthead said, Beavis replies "Yeah they are hot, but next trap let me get the antidotes okay, I wanna score too,"
Butthead approaches the conflict and says "Hey everyone, I volunteer to get the antidotes in the oven, make sure to watch me closely, ladies,"
However, Xavier, who was now holding the knife to Obi's neck, would not let Butthead into the furnace
"No way, this guy got us in here so he's gonna help us out, he has 10 seconds to get in that furnace or else he's a dead man,"
Thats when Daniel interrupted and asked "So if there's only 2 antidotes in there, which 2 of us gets to use them?" With Xavier yelling back "We'll figure that out later!"
Xavier pushes the knife even closer to Obi's neck "Right now you're going in there, or I'll kill you where you stand!"
Obi then said in a surprisingly serious voice "Guess I'm going in there to get those needles, but I get one, got it?"
Obi then crawled into the furnace, 2 needles hanged from the cieling, Obi grabbed one of them "This one is for me," he said before pulling it down. He then looked at the other one which was hanging from a chain "And you guys can fight over who gets this one,"
"Hurry up!" Yelled Xavier.
Obi then grabbed the one hanging from a chain, which of course pulled the chain, and as that happened the door to the furnace closed which made everyone (apart from of course Beavis and Butthead) panic.
"Oh god! Oh shit!"
"Open the door!"
People yelled, as fire started to amit from the furnace, this excited Beavis.
"Fire! Fire! Fire!" He yelled full of joy, not realising that Obi was about to meet a firey grave.
"Open the door! Open the door!" Obi commanded as he started to notice the fire was getting closer to where he was.
Everyone scurried around trying to open the door but it wouldn't budge, Obi tried lowering his leg above the fire to kick the door open but nothing worked, he crawled all the way to the back of the furnace to avoid the fire as much as possible.
Thats when he noticed that there was some sort of valve with a drawing of some devil pointing at this, this was what Jigsaw meant when he said "Once you are in hell, only the devil can get you out,". Unfortunately for Obi, it was too late as there was too much fire in front to reach the valve to turn the gas off, he didn't want to get burned so he didn't want too and just prayed someone else got him out of there.
Everyone was still trying to open the door but at this point the fire inside was making the metal heat up, burning peoples hands when they tried to pull it.
"Use your coat! Use your fucking coat!" Yelled Addison at Jonas, who of course, took his coat off and used it to cover his hand to try and open the door but it still didn't work.
Laura was cowering in the corner shivering and repeating the phrase "Stop it,"
"Hey guys there's a window over here!" Yelled Daniel, everyone ran to the back of the furnace where there was indeed a window, they saw that Obi was nearly fully engulfed in flames.
"Fire! Fire! Fire!" Beavis continues to cheer out as he saw the fire within.
"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" Laura began to now scream in the corner of the room.
"Don't worry, we're gonna get you out of there!" Assured Jonas before Obi's hand pushed up against the glass trying to break open the window.
Xavier then found a bat with nails stuck in it "Everyone stand back!" He shouted.
"Woah, that Xavier guy is pretty cool, Beavis," Butthead said, neither him nor Beavis were expressing the seriousness of the situation, as Beavis also continued to cheer out the word "Fire!"
Xavier broke open the window and Obi's hand and head stuck out but the window was too small for him to escape, he was bleeding, covered in burns and visibly in a lot of pain, luckily he eventually died less than a minute after the window was broken.
Everyone just stared at the dead body in shock for a while, before Xavier checked Obi's hand "The antidote!" He yelled angrily as he saw Obi didn't even hand them the antidote
"The fucking antidote is melting in there!"
"Yeah, what a dickweed, he could've at least handed us the needle, he deserved to die. Oh well at least there'll be less antidotes to give now that he's gone," Butthead stated, trying to seem cool in front of Xavier.
Butthead was also relieved that no one let him go in the furnace when he was trying to impress the girls, he probably would've met the same end as Obi.
Amanda then took what looked like to be some sort of cleaber and went back upstairs away from the basement before anyone else.
Soon everyone followed and began looking around to see if they could find more rooms with antidotes. Amanda and Daniel were having a conversation on how they ended up here, majority of the people who woke up in this house had went to jail for a serious crime at some point in time, apart from Daniel, Beavis and Butthead.
Amanda was telling Daniel about how she had dealt with drugs which is how she ended up in her first test, the reverse beartrap, but after that she began self harm to cope with the traumatic experience which is probably how she ended up here.
Meanwhile Beavis and Butthead were having a conversation of their own
"Hey Beavis, did you notice that like, everyone here apart from us and Amanda has a number on the back of their neck?" Butthead asks,
Beavis replies "Huh? Oh yeah, cool, maybe this means Amanda is like, our soulmate or something,"
"She should be the first chick we score with when we get out of here," Butthead suggests.
Beavis then points to a table next to them "Hey look, a pen, maybe you can draw a number on the back of my neck, Butthead,"
Butthead says "Yeah, good idea, Beavis,"
Butthead takes the pen and draws a number on the back of Beavis's neck.
"69"
Suddenly Jonas came back and let everyone know they found another door that could possibly have their next challenge.
Everyone followed him to the door, to find it wasn't really opening but Xavier was trying to force it open
"Xavier rules," Butthead states.
Soon the door opens to what looks like a childrens bedroom, well a very abandoned one at least. There were dusty and broken toys on the floor and in the middle of the room was a bed with no mattress.
Behind that was a metal door with a 4 minute countdown going off, and on the bed was a tape, Xavier decides to play the tape as everyone gathered around.
"Hello, Xavier. I want to play a game. The game I want to play is very similar to the one that you've been playing as a drug dealer. The game of offering hope to the desperate, for a price. I think we can agree that your situation is desperate. So I offer you hope. The price that you pay is that you must crawl into the same pit of squalor you force your customers into. By entering this room, a timer has been started. When the timer expires, the door in front of you will be locked forever. Only in finding the key before the timer runs out can you unlock and retrieve the antidote inside. I will give you just one hint as to where that key is: it will be like finding a needle in a haystack. Let the game begin,"
Xavier then pulls the bed away to reveal that beneath it is a hole filled with needles that have probably been used.
"There's no way I'm going in there," Xavier states before looking at Amanda, he approaches her
"Hey what are you doing?" She asks before he grabs her
"Hey wait! No don't do this!" Xavier says back to her "Sorry but I ain't digging through those needles,"
He then picks her up as she begs him not to make her do this, then he throws her into the pit, she yells and screams in pain as everyone watches feeling bad for her but also relieved Xavier didn't decide to throw them in.
"Uhhh, Beavis you need to go in there too," Butthead says as Amanda begins to dig through the needles, multiple of them sticking in her arms
"What?! Why?!" Exclaims Beavis
"Because, dumbass," Butthead replies "If you impress Amanda and the other chicks here, you will score,"
"But, don't you want to score?" Beavis asks nervously, Butthead answering "Yes, but I'll wait until there's a less painful trap to impress all the chicks, now go!"
Butthead then pushes Beavis into the trap alongside Amanda, Beavis also yelling in pain but not really doing much to help find the key unlike Amanda.
"You can do it brother Beavis! I believe in you!" Butthead cheers his friend on, Xavier approached behind him "What, you want to join your friend in there too?" He asks.
Butthead replies "Uhhhhh, no,"
Xavier ignores him, and ends up picking Butthead up and throwing him into the needle pit alongside Amanda and Beavis. All 3 of them looked like pin cushions with needles sticking out all over them.
"Hurry the hell up in there!" Xavier yells as the timer on the door ticks down.
Soon the timer is around 30 seconds and Beavis and Butthead didn't really do much to help out, but Amanda was able to find the key, she tosses it out the pit as she cries.
Xavier grabs the key and runs towards the door, at 10 seconds, but he ends up dropping the key while trying to put it in, he reaches down to pick it up and tries to put it in again but the timer runs out and the door shuts before he can unlock it.
"No! No! No!" Yelled Xavier, frustrated that he had literally sent 3 people into the needle pit to find the key for him yet he still wasn't able to unlock the door in time.
"Well, uhhh, its your own fault for having butter fingers," Butthead said as he peeked his head out the pit. Xavier gave him an angry glare but thankfully didn't do anything.
Daniel helped Amanda climb out the pit and pull all of the needles out of her arms and body. Meanwhile Beavis and Butthead were still stuck in the pit.
"Butthead, I don't feel too good," Beavis said, not even in much pain anymore as he had grown numb to all the needles sticking out of him, he was just mostly tired.
"Me neither," they both lay down in the needles staring up at everyone else.
"I don't think that Xavier guy is as cool as we thought," Beavis said, making sure Xavier didn't hear him
"Agreed, I can take a beating but throwing me into a pit of needles is crossing the line, we should just stick to idolising Todd from now on,"
Eventually Beavis and Butthead were able to climb out the pit as well, making sure to stay away from Xavier. Luckily for them Xavier decided to go back downstairs while the 2 followed Amanda, Addison, Daniel and Laura around the house, Jonas went off and searched on his own or something.
Laura wasn't doing too good, the toxic gas was starting to take effect on everyone but especially Laura, she could barely stand and was going in and out of consciousness.
At this point everyone was turning pale and coughing up blood. At one point Butthead slapped Beavis for coughing up blood on him.
At some point they were all in the corner of a hallway while Amanda held Laura, who seemed very close to death. They were all talking about how they were gonna get out of there or any clues they had found.
"Damnit Beavis stop holding onto me like that," Butthead said, clearly annoyed, Beavis let go of him "Sorry Butthead, I just don't feel too good, I think those needles did something to me,"
"X..." Mumbled Laura, Amanda asked her "What did you say?"
"X... Marks the spot," she repeated as she pointed at a frame on the wall with an X scratched onto it. Since Addison was the one standing most near to it she took it off the wall and behind it was a piece of paper that said.
"Father and son"
Addison turned the paper around to show a picture of Daniel and a man she knew quite well.
"Uhhhh, who's that guy with you Daniel?" Butthead asks when he saw the picture "He looks stupid, huhuhuhu,"
"Is that your Dad?!" Addison asks as she showed the picture to Daniel, Amanda and Laura recognised him too. Daniel didn't really answer seeming quite shocked not knowing what to say.
"Thats the man who framed me and put me away! I went to jail because of him, thats Eric Matthews," she said, Beavis and Butthead had no idea who this guy was, they had never seen him before unlike everyone else.
Before anyone could say anyone else Laura began shaking and coughing up blood even more than before, she was having a seizure.
"Uhhh, I think she's been electrocuted, you might wanna step away from the power outlet," Butthead said, not really understandimg what a seizure was or what was going on.
Soon Laura died in Amanda's arms and after Addison stormed off, ranting about how she couldn't trust anyone in this house.
"Uhhhh, Beavis, what should we do now?" Butthead asks, Beavis replying "At least we now know Amanda is our true soulmate, Laura is dead and Addison ditched us, but Amanda will always be hear for us. We need to find another antidote Butthead, or else we will die virgins,"
Butthead silently nodded and the 2 split up to go and find another antidote room. Butthead heard some commotion going on downstairs in the room they had woke up in, he decided to see what was going on so he stood at the door and watched as Xavier and Jonas were fighting.
Butthead didn't say anything he just watched in silence because he found this entertaining, eventually Xavier used that nailed bat he found in the basement while trying to save Obi and hit Jonas in the back of the head, killing him in seconds.
Xavier then looked at Butthead, noticing he was watching, Butthead then realised Xavier is probably planning to do that to him too, so he ran to go and find Beavis or Amanda or Daniel.
The reason Xavier had killed Jonas was because he had looked at the dead body of Gus, the man who had been shot in the eye earlier and saw there was a number on the back of his neck, a 2 that was the colour red.
The combination to the antidote in the safe was on the back everyones necks and the order was in the order of the rainbow, since the gas had lingering for a while Xavier was going a bit insane so he decided to go on a killing spree to find everyone elses numbers to open the safe.
Meanwhile with Beavis he was wondering around the hallways trying to get a few doors open, when he hears Addison calling for help, he decided to see what was going on so he followed her voice and found the room she was in.
Hanging from the cieling of the room was a glass box with a now spilled antidote in it, at the bottom of the box were 2 holes with razor blades around it, Addison's arms were stuck in the holes as she was trying to get the antidote inside.
"Oh thank god! Can you please get me out of here?!" She cried. Beavis looked at the box and Addison, he realised that if he saves her, she might want to score with him after they escape, he smiles deviously and replies "Of course, uhhhh..."
He walks closer to her, feeling his heart pump faster and saw the blades her arms were stuck in "Oh okay, I know how to get you out," he said before sticking his rather small hand into the hole and pushing the blades upwards so she can pull her arm out without basically skinning herself.
She then reaches into the hole her other arm was stuck in and did the same for that "Thank you Beavis," she said, still in tears because she had been bleeding a lot due to the razors.
Beavis thought to himself "Ha! Take that Butthead, you said I was too much of a buttmonkey to score with a chick and that you'd score and I wouldn't, but now I'm gonna score before you do! Haha,"
Beavis then looked at the spilled antidote in the box and continues to think "But I can't score if I die, unless she's into that necrophilia type stuff, so I'm gonna need an antidote real quick,"
He walks behind the box and sees a lock with a key in it "Damn this Jigsaw guy made this trap too easy, I guess that chick was just really stupid or something but thats fine, I'm sure it'll balance well with my genuis.
Beavis then reached up and unlocked the top of the box, since he was quite short and couldn't reach the top, he grabbed the bottom of the box and began to pour the spilled liquid antidote into his mouth.
"I know the antidote is supposed to be injected into you but I suppose it doesn't matter which way it goes in," he thought to himself.
After drinking the antidote, he began to shake rapidly and made weird noises, before he eventually pulled his shirt over his head.
"I AM CORNHOLIO, I NEED TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE!" He exclaims.
Due to the nerve gas, the chemicals in the antidote and all of the germs in the needle pit, Beavis had now become his alter ego Cornholio.
Addison watched him, extremely freaked out as to what was going on, which distracted her from Xavier sneaking up behind her and then hitting her in the head with the nailed bat.
Xavier lifted her hair and saw her number before looking at Cornholio making weird noises and stomping around.
"Sorry kid, nothing personal," he said, Cornholio turned to him and yelled "ARE YOU THREATENING ME?! HOW DARE YOU THREATEN THE GREAT CORNHOLIO!"
Cornholio then ran past him, Xavier yelled "Hey! Get back here!" As he chased after him. Cornholio soon met up with Amanda, Daniel and Butthead, but this meant Xavier had found them too.
Xavier was also angrier than ever at Daniel because he had found the picture of him and his father, Eric Matthews.
"Damnit Beavis, why'd you have to lead that maniac towards us?" Butthead said, slapping Cornholio.
"ARE YOU THREATENING ME?!"
Butthead saw Xavier approaching and grabbed Cornholio, realising there was no time to waste. They both ran behind Amanda and Daniel and they lead them to the room they had woken up in.
"I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO!!"
"Get in there Beavis," Butthead pushed Cornholio into the room as he was standing in his way. Amanda slammed the door shut but Xavier tried to pry it open.
Butthead watched and Cornholio ran around the room yelling as Amanda and Daniel tried to hold the door shut
"Help us!" Yelled Daniel, Butthead replied "Ehh, no,"
Meanwhile Daniel noticed that Xavier had left the nail bat in the room, so he went and picked it up and used it to jam the door shut, Amanda also noticed something beneath the safe that held one of the antidotes, she went and pushed it off.
So much commotion was going on, Xavier trying to force the door open, Cornholio ranting and stomping around the room, Butthead refusing to help, Amanda trying to push the safe off of the thing she noticed, it was all chaos.
Eventually Amanda pushed the safe away and found there was a secret door beneath it, she knew this could be their escape so she opened it and signalled everyone to go inside.
Daniel went in first, but Butthead didn't really get the message "Uhh, is that the basement?" He asked. As Amanda was trying to convince Butthead to go into the secret door, he kept asking stupid questions and not listening to anyone.
"WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY BUNGOLE?!" He walked towards the bat and picks it up "THIS SHALL PROTECT THE ALL MIGHTY BUNGHOLE, HEEHEHE, BUNGHOLIO!"
The door then flung open revealing Xavier "Damnit Beavis you let that crazy guy in here, I get it now, we need to go to the basement," Butthead then grabbed Cornholio and attempted to drag him into the secret door.
"YOU DARE TOUCH THE ALMIGHTY BUNGHOLE!"
"Get in Beavis!" Butthead then pushed Cornholio into the secret door before jumping in himself and running down the long hallways, he heard as Xavier jumped down and ran behind them, Cornholio was nowhere in sight now, Butthead realised he probably didn't understand what was happening and how this crazy guy was going to kill them.
"Damnit Beavis you're an absolute buttmonkey, that guys gonna kill you, whatever at least I'm the only one who gets to score with Amanda now," Butthead thought to himself as he ran.
Eventually they came to some sort of weird door, Amanda pushed it open to reveal the bathroom that Beavis and Butthead had awoken in 6 months ago.
"Uhhh, why's Beavis's foot on the floor?" Butthead asked "Oh and that's the guy Beavis killed back when we were locked in that bathroom, uhhhh..."
Butthead then looked over and noticed Daniel was dead
"Uhhh," he then also noticed that Xavier had entered the room "Crap,".
Xavier and Amanda talked for a little bit about the numbers, Butthead wasn't really paying attention, but then he saw Cornholio walk up behind Xavier.
"You can do it brother Beavis! You kick his ass!" Butthead cheered Cornholio on as he noticed him.
Xavier of course turned around and saw Cornholio, Cornholio asked "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY BUNGHOLE?"
"Damnit I'll kill you, kid," Xavier said before charging at Cornholio, the 2 began to fight, Xavier smashed his head against the hard bathroom wall and saw his number was "69"
Thats when Cornholio pulled out the nail bat he had been hiding in his pants and smashed it across Xavier's face. Xavier collapsed, his face covered in blood he began gasping for air before eventually dying.
"Woah, you're pretty cool Beavis," Butthead said, before Cornholio replied "HE THREATENED THE ALL MIGHTY BUNGHOLE, HE HAD TO DIE, HEHEHE,"
Thats when Cornholio transitioned back to Beavis "Uhhh, Butthead whats going on here? I remember saving that Addison chick from a box and then- AAAAAHHHHH!!!!"
Beavis screams as he sees his own foot on the floor, the one he had sawn off 6 months ago, he approached it "I wondered where my other shoe was!" He took the shoe off his dismembered foot and held it.
"Uhhh, Daniel died, Beavis," Butthead told Beavis, Beavis replied "Uhhh, that sucks, anyways at least we get to score with Amanda now,"
"Actually I was just pretending to be dead," Daniel said as he got up from the floor.
"Aww damnit!" Beavis exclaimed "Now we're gonna have to have a foursome, better than nothing anyways. Uhhh, speaking of Amanda where is she?"
Butthead answered "Uhhh, I dunno," suddenly a figure approached behind them both and injected them with some sort of needle, they then passed out.
Everything was black, until they both woke up in a tight space. "Uhhh, Beavis, where are we?" Butthead asked "And why are you hugging me?"
"I'm not hugging you idiot!" Beavis exclaimed
"Then stop wrapping your arms around me!" Commanded Butthead, Beavis couldn't though "I cant we're like, stuck in some box, is this another test from Jigsaw? And why do we have these plastic thingies on our noses and mouth?"
The 2 boys had a ventilator on their face, they began squirming and trying to push away from each other which only resulted in them basically beating each other up.
"Settle down Beavis you're crushing my rib cage or something," Butthead said as he slapped Beavis.
Suddenly the door to the box opened, they were in a safe place. Relieved, they both crawled out and saw a woman (for those of you who are familiar with Saw, the woman is Detective Allison Kerry) and a few other police looking people looking at them in shock.
"Hey babeh, we just like, escaped a death game," Butthead attempted to flirt with the detective. They then noticed another safe to their right so they walked towards it to look inside.
"Woah check it out Butthead, its Daniel!" Beavis exclaimed, Daniel was indeed inside the other safe, also with a ventilator on his face, except he was in a lot more distress then Beavis and Butthead were.
"Where's Amanda though?" Butthead asked, they both looked around again "Aw damnit I think we've been ditched!" Yelled Beavis, angry that once again he was unable to score.
"Well we could try to score with this lovely detective chick, Beavis," Butthead reassured him
"Yeah yeah, good idea,"
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k-s-morgan · 2 years ago
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Hi Katrin, i really hope youre doing well :)
i just wanted to ask if you could summarize the sole snarry fic you recommended (desiderium intimum) in a more detailed way? Im pretty intrigued as to why it's stuck with you for so long and how much cruelty snape had to have exhibited for you to react so strongly, but i dont have enough patience or attention span or mental fortitude to read through 200k+ words of pure angst lol (and thats not even counting the untranslated parts!). I started with the first 4 chapters and it already presents such an unfair and humiliating concept, which just further peaks my interest.
love your writing, wishing you the best <3
Hi! Thank you! And sure, but my answer will have some general spoilers)
Desiderium Intimum is definitely a type of story that many people won't like: the power imbalance seems severe, Harry acts like a stereotypical love-sick fool at first, and there is a lot of sex (something I tend to dislike). But all of this has textual explanation, and with time, everything develops in a subtle but beautiful, powerful way.
At the start of the story, Harry is emotionally under the effect of the potion. It's not that it controls him physically, but he still remembers what he's experienced vividly and it confuses and weakens him. His attraction to Snape and the memories of what he felt are stronger than his common sense. Snape, in turn, has no interest in him. He uses this situation to his advantage: he plans to kill Harry and Voldemort at once, and for this, he needs to keep Harry hooked.
Gradually and tentatively, Snape's feelings change, just as Harry's attitude. The progression of their relationship is fascinating to me: Harry is slowly teaching Snape to display tenderness and affection. Trust and attachment develop between them. Snape eventually grows to be as obsessed with Harry as Harry was with him at the start of the story; Harry, in turn, gets more mature. He starts standing up for himself, he fights back. Their romance is full of violence, jealousy (possessive Snape is terrifying in this), yearning and need. It's mesmerizing.
This story has a very long chapter written from Snape's POV - I actually think it had a big impact on my own preference toward including dual POVs in my fics. I waited for this chapter for months and it impressed me so much, my heart still skips a beat when I think of it. I loved seeing Snape turn from a cold, detached, cruel character indifferent to Harry to someone utterly obsessed, fiercely protective, and hopelessly in love.
I also love how war is displayed in Desiderium Intimum. It's chilling, doubly so when you see what terrible things Snape readily does to keep Harry alive.
I read this story via Google translator and I never stopped being in love with it. These are my impressions only, though. I know that some people didn't warm up to it anyway; many considered Harry too weak until the end, but this wasn't my opinion. He certainly starts out like this, but he grows a lot. He's like water: soft, calming, gentle, but with such inner strength than he has the power to shape and twist the hardest rocks. I love him.
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iinafarawaygalaxii · 2 years ago
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Star Wars the Clone Wars: Bloodline
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The Man with Yellow Armor : Chapter 2
Timeline: 22bby
Summary: Veras days were numbered in terms of her decision to join the GAR and with the pile of work from her current job, joining the GAR didn't seem like such a bad idea. Although she did have ideals to stay away from the war, a new player joins the mission to capture her influence as this day alone changed the way she viewed her own life and the life of others. 
Word Count: 2.4k
Warnings: Violence, Trauma, Mention of death
Rating: SFW
Notes:
*Mesh'la = Beautiful in Mondoa
Curse word or 2?
Time can be your greatest ally or your worst enemy and for Vera, it was the latter. On the night of the first rotation she began to feel the pressure of her decision to join the GAR. The sun was already drifting to dusk and she had less than 24 hours to give the Generals their answer. After one of her busiest days working for the Grand Republic Medical Facility, she sat there in her office rubbing her temples, thinking about the advice her boss had given about what would happen when, or mostly if, she would return. A higher status in society maybe? They would want her to become the senators private doctor or (even better) become the Director of the hospital and take her bosses job... Either way, the opportunities were endless but.. Vera didn't want to think about that, at least not right now. She realized she's been given a choice to actually help the people fighting on the civvies behalf- something she never had the chance to do, especially 10 years ago. "Now Im beginning to understand what Rex meant...", whispering to herself with the memory of Rex's voice invaded her thoughts, ~"I understand that civvies will assume we get the best but you are wrong. Were created to serve the republic, we don't get choices like you. Don't assume otherwise, doctor." ~. She really messed up because at the end of the day he was right and it made her feel very guilty. What was the purpose of creating the clones in the first place? Why didn't they recruit from republic planets? So many questions, not very many answers but.... It made her think that maybe there was something bigger at play, or more importantly, she felt that there was especially since Kamino. Although she gave up on the feeling a long time ago, she couldn't help but wonder if this is what her Gods have planned. Being deeply connected to the force definitely helped get her here but a choice as big as this?  The future was clouded and the uncertainty is what brings back the horrors from her past. She felt Rex on a deeper level, one where duty and sacrifice stood. "Damn..", she sighed out placing a hand over her heart as tears began to formulate with each droplet representing the many souls lost that day. To stop the incoming panic of the traumatic experience, she rubbed her eyes and began packing up the remainder of her work for the day, trying to ignore the nasty memories that began brewing wishing Cersi was here to help navigate the feeling she never took the time to understand.
'I cant go through that again...', she whispers to herself before shutting off her office lights to head home.
-
The dim light from the candle she lit, illuminated the shadows of all the work that needed to be done on her desk at home. "So much.. paperwork", she sighed rubbing her temples realizing her life means much more than this but, this is what she chose. She wanted to feel what civilians feel, being able to go wherever they wanted whenever they wanted. At the end of the day all she truly wanted was to be free and independent but to be free always comes with a cost, making her realize life was never just black and white. It was filled with a grey area of the 'unknown' and thats what she's always been afraid of as memories began piercing down to the smallest areas of her brain, brining back the pain she felt... One she or her sister hasnt been able to escape from. Although her heart throbbed for adventure... her soul sought out peace and solace but how will she manage to obtain both? Just this question alone filled her with a curiosity so strong that it became something thats never been satiated even with her job now...
Something has always been missing.
Peering over her work realizing that this isn't what she had pictured for her life- her memories became flooded looking back at her training since the invasion and the new worlds she got to see. "I could have that again....", she thought rubbing her thumbs together gazing over at her clock seeing it was almost time for dinner. Cersi still hadnt made it home but ever since she got accepted as the apprentice for the Naboo senator Padame Amidala, her trips home had become non existent. Not that it was a bad thing, she was happy that her sister grown enough to be able handle herself being 20 and all. A low growl deep in her stomach began to rumble as she got up and proceeded to the fridge,  "Hmm, I need a few ingredients", rummaging through her cupboards seeing what else she needed to buy at the market which was only a few minutes away by speeder. Sighing, she closed her spice drawer rolling her eyes at the realization that she was, "out of Astrian spice...". There wasn't very many places that held such a unique spice, especially since the invasion. The closest spice store was by a bar, 79s, which may or may not have what she needed. "The clone bar...", she closed her eyes whispering to herself, "of course...", She instantly thought about him, contemplating if he would be there. 'A man like that wouldn't spend time there but, who knows..', she contemplated as she grabbed her long jacket, purse, and boots readying herself for a grocery trip to make her way towards the speeder. 
-
The market was bustling. Many different species were shopping and of course the patients she has seen here and there. She got all of her necessary ingredients for her roasted porg, only part that was missing was the spice, "Its only a few blocks away", she insisted, "maybe I'll just walk..", and so she proceeded to enjoy the breeze and took her time walking to the spice store. 
Coruscant is filled with so much its almost hard to have a clear path in front of you. Street marketers, solicitors, soldiers, all types of people trying to make a penny. Minutes have passed and she found herself almost directly in front of the spice shop. She walked a bit faster, weaving her way through foot traffic until she bumped into someone dropping her groceries. The person caught the bag in mid air and grabbed her arm before falling. How embarrassing. He lifted her up and handed her the groceries, "Kriff Im so sorry", Vera said turning towards the man grabbing the bag before meeting his eyes and froze;
 "Oh...the man with the yellow armor, I saw you at the GAR",
"This man in yellow armor has a name you know.", he replied picking up his helmet,
"Im sorry I didn't mean to bump into you, I wasn't paying attention", she put her bag back up on her shoulder and readjusted her jacket and hair, "Whats your name? I don't think we've been introduced yet. My name is-"
"Doctor Vera Cross. I know." The man said,
"How did you know my nam-",
"The generals have been speaking highly of you, plus, I was in charge of searching for a combat medic trainer",
"oh...", 'so he's the reason I'm stuck in this mess', 
"what made you select me then?",
She looked up to him. Their eyes meeting as her heart started to race, 'damn he looks so much like rex. Their eyes are so...',  Its either clone troopers are too tall or she was too short but overall he was very nice to look at from this perspective and she enjoyed every second of it. He gave a small grin and narrowed his eyes snapping her out of her cheeky thoughts, "We should probably move out of the way...", She nodded as he offered his arm to her. she took it as the began scurrying through hurdles of people to reach the store. The closer they got the more she seen how many clones were around drunk, tipsy, and all of the above heading towards one place, the bar next door. She honestly came in hope of seeing Rex but she knew in the end that it was a long shot. There was just so many women canoodling the soldiers that overall it seemed like a sleazy place that he didnt seem he wouldn't be into. At that point she had wished shed gone to the spice store 20 minutes away. 
They quickly arrived at their destination, Cody positioning himself in front of her. "My name is Cody. Commander of the 212th and Marshal to my brothers", he replied, "I selected you because you have the most experience, you're young, and most importantly you've been in battle before." He's right she has and its not stuff she likes to reminisce about, "Yes well I prefer to not talk about that...", She said looking down at the ground before meeting his eyes again. The memories from Genosis, Naboo and even her own home began flooding. "Thank you, for catching me and... Im sorry I ran into you Commander", she said modestly, "Its okay Doctor.. What are you doing here anyways? Seems a bit out of your way", he looks at the groceries she had just bought at the market which is a 10 minute walk away but he was right, the spice store was further than she needed to go. "I was just thinking and wanted to have some fresh air before I return to my dungeon of paperwork", she answered. He was no stranger to paperwork, she was obviously stressed about it. Her hair was tied up in a bun and she wasn't dressed to impress so her cheeks began to flush as she contemplated her look. “Obviously wasn’t ready to running into someone, sorry I look like a bum…”, She tucked a hair behind her ear and looked away in embarrassment, “You look good mesh’la”. 
Mesh’la? That’s Mando’a, a clone language specific to them that she never had the chance to study. “What does mesh’la mean?”, He grinned at her which made her uneasy, “You gunna head in? It’s a bit chilly out”, he held the door open for her prompting her to walk in. So she did, not ignoring the fact that he didn't answer her question. She heads into the store and he had followed, "So does being a commander mean you don't have answer questions?", she said stopping midway into the store that was in fact quite empty, "I'll let you find out on your own doc. You're smart enough", he pushed passed her and asked, "What are you even looking for, anyways?", picked up spices here and there. Vera smiled because she knew what game he was playing at. Something she didn't particularly mind as she realized she was begging to enjoying her time with him. She smirked and walked passed with her head up, bringing the sassiness out of her personality. "Im looking for Astrian spice. Something Ive grown quiet fond of...", She said trying to make sure that the details about her identity remain hidden. "Is this it?" he casually said, "Yeah, how did you know that?", The spice was in a completely different language and with the magnitude of product in the store she was shocked he would find it before her. "Well, easy it says Astria on the plaque above the shelf", "oh" she thought out loud realizing she doesn't pay much attention to detail as well as he does. I mean they have to right? Commanders are trained to pay attention to detail, its how they make battle plans and get themselves out of certain situations. Plus he's the Marshall which is a responsibility for over 36000 troopers... detail is kind of their thing. 
They proceeded to the counter to pay for her spice and left the store. At this point it was very dark and super chilly. They stood there looking at the people passing by until Cody broke the silence "Its pretty dark doc. Do you want me to walk you to your speeder?", She looked at him smiling at the kindness. If only her Rex started like this.... maybe he would be something she would pursue. "You're very sweet commander but I think I got it from here... enjoy the rest of the night", she responded slowly starting to walk back from him "Oh and Cody?!", he turned around to look at her, grinning because he thought that maybe, just maybe, she changed her mind, "Thank you for helping me.. don't be a stranger okay?", she smirked, "I wont", he winked back making Vera cheeks change hue. "Be safe mesh'la", he took his leave and began walking towards the bar.  'Mesh'la dammit', she thought, 'I have to look that up when I get home'.
She watched him disappear into the crowd of clones and women outside of the bar and proceeded to walk back to her speeder. He was right though, it is pretty dark and what comes with that are criminals. She did have a knife strapped to her thigh under her coat and she always bring it because at the end of the day no matter how 'safe' this planet is. Theres always criminal activity around in every corner. She continued walking in the direction of her speeder but started noticing something was off. She felt as if she was being watched. The blood started racing in her veins, activating her fight or flight because no one else was around her besides a few stragglers here and there. Of course she knew how to fight. She was a damn good fighter too because she spent years training since she was little with no only the general of her planet but the trainers on Naboo and Kamino as well.
Once she had reached the parking lot for the speeders, hers was the only one of three left from the market that had closed 30 minutes ago. Two men were standing by the speeder next to hers staring as they watched her approach. She calmly put her groceries into the back of the speeder and got ready to leave but before she was able to get into the vehicle the men started approaching her. One man with his hand on the front of the speeder and the other walking towards her with a bar. She stood there slowly reaching for her knife before BAAAM. The man with the bar tackled her  to the ground and pushed it against her neck making her hands reach to protect her fragile bones that were nearly about to be crushed. She struggled but managed to kick him off and reach for the knife.
At that point she was cornered. Two other men came, two with blasters, the others with bars... " Give up sweetie, you're highly out numbered. Give me the keys to your speeder. Now", the robber said as she scoffed and threw off her coat, positioning herself in a stance that protected her core. Everything became silent as the men began to circle her. She checked her surroundings seeing whats available to fight off 5 men. It was then she saw him, slowly creeping up behind one of the men with a blaster. She grinned, "First off don't call me sweetie, second off, look behind you" The men laughed, "This women thinks she can fight us off", not realizing how much shit they were in, "Who else did you bring along with you, another bitch?", the man turned around...
"You could say that..", 
Cody punched the man directly in the face, tripping him up and slamming him to the ground finishing him off with a taser from his blaster. From there it was an all out battle, Vera and Cody against 4 nut cases. Veras moves knocked 2 of the men out while Cody handled the ones with blasters. They fought so fluidly, every movement complimented each other that put all the men on their ass. After Cody disarmed them he used his own blaster to stun the other 4. All you could here is the screams of the stragglers running off into the distance, shaken from the current interaction that just happened. Cody walked through the men who were passed out from the stun gun to check on Vera, "Good work doc. Looks like you did some damage", he said approaching Vera. "You could say that, but you did most of the work. Thank you.. again." She rubbed the top of her head, letting out a shy laugh as he nodded reaching for his comm to call the police, having all 5 of the men arrested. "I told you it was dark out, you should've let me walk with you.", Cody mentioned standing directly in front of a slightly beaten up Vera. "Yeah well I could've handled it..", she responded tasting the bit of blood dripping at the corner of her lip. 
Cody came closer to her as lifted her chin up with one finger to wipe the blood from her lip ever so slightly with his thumb. "you're hurt, we should get that checked", he said concerned about the damage, "Ill be okay commander, I am a doctor remember?", she smiled at him as he gently let go of her chin. He looked at her with a soft gaze and grinned because, "even doctors need to be cared for...". Her cheeks began to flush as many thoughts crossed her mind. Of course that would happen now, this man is like an entirely new species to her. No one had been this kind and it nearly drove her nuts because she had no idea how to repay him just for this day alone and with the moon high in the sky illuminating the scene, Vera could only say one thing...
"Commander-" she took a step even closer to a point where their bodies were only millimeters from each other, the red and blue lights from the Coruscant police illuminated their bodies as she worked up the courage to make tonight end right. She placed her hand on his chest, feeling the warmth he radiated and looked deep into his eyes and, "Would you like to come over for dinner?"
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eggzbenadryl2 · 2 days ago
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you are soo kind n protective :c i really love you mickey... i will try my best to keep being a good girl for you. what do i have to learn to be the best housewife for you, bigbro? :3
oh- talking about my cousin again triggers me in the worst ways. (i tell you so you can get off to my suffering). actually, i saw your answer the second you posted it, but i dissociated so bad that i barely can answer now without my mind feeling out my body ><
i like doing chores! it suits my girl energy, right? id love to do chores for you. oh, now that i remember, i forgot to ask all this days what you wanted for dinner when you get home :(( i hope you dont hit me too much for that...
don't worry about me going out! i don't really like it, i actually never went out at night to bars or clubs... i like more indoor hobbies like crocheting or painting, and id say gaming but you would laugh at me for being a stereotypical girl in games, as i only play the sims and stardew valley haha. also i am really cold all the time and i tend to faint a lot so i kind of avoid going out nowadays even if i liked going for walks before. low bmi 14 is not that easy to mantain >_<
you like being aggressive and violent, and i like to please you even when i am really scared of violence. doesnt it sound perfect? i would try to get away from you, maybe hide, even.
i will always scream and cry and whine, but i also always come back crawling to you. because you are just so kind... and i know you can't help it. it was my fault dinner was not on the table when you came home, after all. i am so clumsy and forgetful, right? you just want to teach me better mickey, and i will forgive you everytime!
and about rough sex is the same i think? i never had anyone in general so maybe all that you told me about is normal, right? i will never know the difference, as i wont ever take another man thats not my older brother!
i luv cuts and bruises even if i am scared of violence <3 ironical, right? i am full of incoherences. maybe because i am just a girl, and my brain is not for thinking and you are right. i always end up proving your point :(( sigh. its obvious that you are so much smarter than me! maybe because you are older too?
ah, and before i forget again and end up giving you more reasons to hit me... what do you want for dinner today mickey~?
-🐑
You said you were good at cooking and you like doing chores, so we’re already off to a great start. A housewife should be soft and feminine so your hobbies suit you very well too. Besides that you need to listen and obey me no matter what. I know you’re a good girl, so this should all come natural to you
Aw, I’m so sorry sweetheart. I didn’t mean to remind you of what your cousin did to you, but I can’t help to enjoy the way you react to it. One of my biggest kinks actually happen to be taking advantage of people (especially cute little girls) when they’re dissociating, so I’m glad to see how easy it would be to put you in that state. I’d love to see how you’d react to me touching and raping you whilst dissociating. The best part about it is that you wouldn’t be able to do anything to stop me. You’d just be forced to become a mindless little doll for me to play around with. Sounds like fun, yeah?
You’re right, I am smarter than you. Silly little girls just need to be told what to do so they don’t get confused or start being bad. That’s also why I need to look after you and protect you
But I wouldn’t forget about dinner again if I were you. I think it’s a bit cute that you’re clumsy, but not if you mess up too much since that’s just going to make me very angry. Keep in mind that I can become very erratic and impulsive when I’m angry, so god knows what I’d do to you if you set me off
I like that you’re full of incoherences actually. Hm, what else are you afraid of, princess?
I’m not sure what I want for dinner tonight. Maybe you could pick something you’re good at making? I’m not very picky and enjoy most types of food
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popstarman · 3 months ago
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wait so this international womens day shit is actually a thing?...
why am i just now finding out about this?... hmm 🤔
idk i guess when i saw it scrolling on x.com i thought it was just a joke maybe but this is deadass a real thing that has apparently evolved into a holiday thats nationally accepted/recognized by everyone... i guess what im saying is why tf do we have a day to recognize women... don't get me wrong i do love women & all... i find them very attractive, and, quite frankly, most of my favorite artists, authors, athletes, stars, my mother - my heroes; people i have come to respect the most - are actually women. but, just being real, women already have the most recognition & more state/federal laws protecting them than any endangered species on earth(next would be gay people). and most of you probably arent even aware of how true that is. it's unsaid for the most part, but if you do some real research the majority of the law itself is basically made w/ the intention of "keeping women safe" as the main underlying objective. again thats if u really do some research & then take a step back and look at it for what it really is. society's entire way of thinking that has, by very subtle means, been hard wired into us is designed to make sure the woman always has the upperhand and always walks away a winner no matter what...
even to this very day i still hear "it", and somehow it never gets old to anyone except me, it seems.. "what's this 'it' you're referring to", u ask? ahh yes, the good old "it's such a struggle being a woman" bit. umm yeah, i can't fall for the okie-doke any longer. like how much longer can we as humanity go on like this - forever playing along like this is still the case? IT'S A STRUGGLE BEING A MAN TOO. LIFE IS HARD. PERIOD. but these days, especially, there is no better jugg than being a female. i honestly think that's why there's so many more men trying to become women now than ever.
if u really think about it, there is no real way to attack a female without ruining yourself your life and reputation even if she deserves it. all a woman has to do is cry and she will win the majority of the time. in fact there will always be at least 10 captain-save-a-hoe men on deck just waiting and ready to run to be the first to answer her damsel in distress call so that they can be the one to fight her battle for her. being just one woman is like being a commander of a small army all day everyday anywhere you go. and we all know that they(women) know this and will not hesitate to weaponize this truth at the drop of a hat and use it to their advantage anytime they feel like, whether they'll ever admit that fact or not. tell me im wrong 🙇🏾‍♂️...
to make money all she has to do is do flash some skin. a priceless luxury that they have that men don't - and really the only luxury a human really needs to survive. and after that if you call them out on anything they do, YOU are slut shaming, you're abusive, you hate women, youre misogynistic, YOU are in the wrong, YOU have gone too far - bc that's a #woman you're speaking to 👀. you WILL be labeled as the problem.
ooo and don't u dare even think about even so much as mentioning or outwardly expressing in any way shape or form the fact that it's possible that they could actually have been the root problem in some of those famous "domestic violence" situations(that we see so often for some reason.. i wonder why this keeps happening to the creatures that are only capable of being innocent 🤔 crazy... anywho i digress) to cause《maybe?》 the "bad stuff" that "happened to them". i mean there's noo way a woman could be capable of causing/initiating any type of dispute or physical altercation... bc its a woman... yea let's not entertain that possibly outloud. that might upset people and we don't want that 🤫 that's the biggest no no of all...
bruh, there is currently not a creature in existence sitting prettier and in a more comfy position than the woman. like what more could you ask for? these days it should be us men fighting for equal rights(lol ok the last line was sarcasm but i couldn't resist)... anyways, i digress again...
look... fathers day. mothers day. those are days i understand - i get it. but womens day? yall need a day TOO? fr?... and call me off fashioned but if i said there should be a men's day, im pretty sure everyone would laugh, including me. ijs that's what it sounds like to me when i hear "womens day" 🤷🏾‍♂️
DISCLAIMER: i should probably mention that im serving a 10 YEAR sentence RIGHT NOW after i lost trial somehow without anyone ever even so much as showing me do anything... oh yeah for domestic violence... oh yeah and the judge was a woman... oh yeah and the trial DA/ prosecutor was a woman... and the DA/ prosecutor that was partnered up with her was a homosexual male(still being attacked by femininity)... but at least my accuser was a guy... oh wait damn.. nah that was a female too 🤔... all she had to do was get on the stand accuse me and cry... especially when you're black as me 🤫
happy international #womensday everyone 💅
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kcyars99 · 10 months ago
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I don’t entertain Tory Lanez fans because they told us Megan was never shot with the same passion that they have about Kelsey being the shooter. The truth came out in a court of law already. The court of public opinion won’t overturn that conviction
Plus if cared about him you would have bullied him on the internet to apologize sincerely to Megan instead of egging him on to continually harass her for three years!
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And you know what is the one thing that makes me even more angry at him on the one year jail-anniversary
He has a history of anger issues as well as being a menace to society and he was on probation during the time of the shooting and he shouldn’t be carrying a weapon while he was on probation
If he had enough energy to harass and torment someone who was kind enough to originally give him grace then he should have given enough energy to seek help and therapy
Not to mention… this is America who is dealing with gun violence almost every day to the point where earlier last year there were more mass shootings than days of the year including the ones that we are aware of and hasn’t hip hop lost enough rappers to gun violence including those who were killed at their prime and here’s this baldie nearly causing one more at of gun violence for no reason at all unless you wanna call “my poor little ego was hurt because she said I’m not good enough as a musician/I had a traumatic experience and a drug and alcohol problem “ as a motive
Anyone tired of this unnecessary acts of violence especially when guns are involved by people who shouldn’t be around them anymore as much as you’re tired of the fake as heck thoughts and prayers yet?
And he had the audacity to think that he could get away with it because he gotten away with worse all his life and used the whole “I’m black like you judge don’t do this to a fellow black brother as if he didn’t harm a black woman” like HELLO! You are a black man first and foremost and a Canadian citizen who immigrated to America second like you can’t do the same thing that Ezra miller did and think you’ll get away easily like ain’t no black privilege in America. That’s nigpene behavior and the ancestors (or at least Megan ancestors) rightfully struck that baldie down
Anyone who is tired of these self hating nigpenes with mommy and daddy issues making your race look bad yet?
Between him and Drake in the last two or three years they’re making me feel like some bigot on tv who tries to portray this one group as violent because of one person of the same race/ethnicity committed a crime and thats not me and that’s not fair to the black and people of color in Canada and the country in general
Moral of the story 4 years later: other than violence unless it’s necessary is never the answer(including gun violence) and seek help if you got any issues especially if it’s internal, you as a black person even as an immigrant black person cannot do what they (yts including yt immigrants)do
Tory learned the hard way and his rude awakening came in a ten year sentence
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not-so-secret-poet · 1 year ago
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Fucked up free therapy!
Recently, in these past few weeks, I've gotten into writing a lot more. I've written so much that it feels like my brain is rotting. I can't help but feel compelled to write everything I think. I wouldn't say it's an addiction but it definitely feels like one. I've been writing about me and my friend's characters, but thats not where this entry stems from.
I've been writing about my trauma, specifically composing unhealthy, harmful, toxic, and nauseating works of fiction. These stories make me sob, not because of how twisted these stories are. But because of how it's MY trauma, just dramatized. It's my trauma if I was excruciatingly brutalized more than I already was. I don't want to say these stories are helping, but they are.
I'm finally feeling seen by someone, even if it's myself. I detail everything to be horrifying. I always write in the narration that it's disgusting, and inhumane to do these acts to a helpless, defenseless, and weak child. It always makes me sob when reading my own work, it's been so normalized for me to just accept my villainization and dehumanization with ease.
Always laughing at the events and incidents that made me who I am. Laughing only does so much, just as therapy only takes you so far. When writing I feel my heart race, I hear the sounds of my atrocity, and I feel the emotions in full swing. I get flashbacks to those times, the touching, the weapon, the pain, the violence, all of it is clear when writing.
It's a reminder of what makes me, me, even when I don't want it to be. But I don't have a choice in the matter. At times, I can't even write out the events or exaggerate it. Sometimes, I just sob hysterically and fail to process it, mumbling under my breath about how someone can't do that to a child. Stating how abhorrent and voracious it is to violate a child through these acts of mortification.
Only having the empty space around me that is the wind, to be the audience that hears me question this. Praying someone gives me the answers to the inquiries. Desperately needing someone to tell me why everything happened the way it did. But then again, I could scream and no one would ever give me answers. Not because I am undeserving.
But because there is none, I can't have answers that don't exist, and thats what fundamentally kills me. The only way I can move on is with answers to my questions, but I'll never get them. Writing is the only time I'll ever get close to getting answers because at least then I can ask my questions to the dull void.
At least then I'll be able to have an outlet for once, trembling hands, shaky voice, tear-stained face, and all. In all these depictions, my persona is a victim, put through gruesome acts of cruelty and torture. Making myself the object of agony I so feel I am, to the extent I am. Ultimately allowing me to be heard without the worry of belittling comments and judgmental glares.
I'll never be told again that something didn't happen when I know full well it did, because I can make these vile fictitious characters take accountability for their actions. The way their human counterparts never will, and will always refuse to. I can make all these characters show the worst parts of themselves, and get the closure I need. Without hearing I'm a fraud for telling my story.
Writing is the only way someone can understand me. They'll get the glimpse into the mind they so desire, so they can complain. They'll criticize and scrutinize everything I've written, but they'll know it was based off of real events. And that is what will stick, the fact that it happened to me.
I don't care if people will never believe me, no one ever did when I was younger. So why would they now? Why would I care now? Desecrate me, it won't change what you did or what you plan to do. I'll be your victim, but I won't be silent about it. I'll break and spill eventually, I'll take being seen in the worst light if it means everyone will see you for who you are. It doesn't matter if it's my fault, you're still the one who exploited me.
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