#I genuinely feel like this is everything lovely about the Romantic era distilled into one piece

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Dvořák's Romance in F Minor for Violin and Piano

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Aquaman Review

Aquaman is a big movie. It has a 143 minute runtime, a 200 million dollar budget, a near 90 person cast, an over 1,000 person crew, and a box office gross currently marching towards 300 million worldwide a week before its home debut. It’s the sixth movie in the DC Extended Universe and the first to emerge from the ashes of 2017's Justice League.

 In fact, I think big is a lacking descriptor. Aquaman--both as a singular film and as an installment within a universe and genre that generates billions in revenue--is monolithic. As such, its analysis requires structure. To that end, this review will be split into the three composites I feel are most vital for cinematic enjoyment: plot, character, and spectacle. My thoughts on the larger context of the film and my wayward observations will be reserved for the closing. This review is spoiler free. Let's dive in... I feel that's the most restrained, water-related pun I can offer.

 PLOT

 'Once home to the most advanced civilization on Earth, the city of Atlantis is now an underwater kingdom ruled by the power-hungry King Orm. With a vast army at his disposal, Orm plans to conquer the remaining oceanic people -- and then the surface world. Standing in his way is Aquaman, Orm's half-human, half-Atlantean brother and true heir to the throne. With help from royal counselor Vulko, Aquaman must retrieve the legendary Trident of Atlan and embrace his destiny as protector of the deep'

 This is the official synopsis for Aquaman. The narrative presented within the movie’s runtime does so little to transcend that synopsis that I feel it pointless to describe the plot any further. Aquaman is utterly predictable. This movie will not surprise you at any point.

 To be clear, that in itself isn’t a bad thing. Predictability works extremely well when the foreseen story beats and moments are earned by the time they arrive. We all knew Simba would go back to the Pride Lands and face Scar, but Lion King did such a good job of earning that moment that by the time the prince faces down his uncle beneath a sky of storm clouds, you're so invested in every frame of animation that it doesn't matter that you saw it coming. If anything, it simply reinforces the narrative’s internal logic, making for a stronger experience.  

 Aquaman doesn't earn its moments. As we journey with Arthur Curry from land to sea—from politics to romance, from failure to triumph--everything plays out at a distance. I didn't fear for Arthur's life or well-being during the numerous battle sequences. I didn't buy his love story which dared to imply Jason Momoa and Amber Heard had romantic chemistry. I didn't care for his angst or repressed rage. It all just happened and I simply witnessed it. A movie's plot is meant to carry the viewer through an emotional voyage and Aquaman left me standing still.

 To its credit, however, it wasn’t boring. Perhaps foreseeing a lack of audience investment in the story’s machinations, the filmmakers ensured no matter where you are in the movie, you're never far from a burst of action and/or CGI splendour. Given boredom was my main concern walking into the cinema, I was glad about that.

  CHARACTER

 Jason Momoa's first proper portrayal of the Aquaman character was in Justice League, and in a movie of many calamities, he was one of them. His character was nonsensical, drifting between wannabe lone wolf and moronic dudebro without rhyme or reason. His dialogue was gutter trash and Momoa's delivery did nothing to elevate it. I like Jason Momoa--problematic elements and all--and I feel he’s done decent work in the past, but heading into this movie I was unsure what to expect. What I got was the lone wolf/dudebro act distilled down to its most, shall we say, useful components. He broods, but he also goes ‘woohoo’ when he jumps out of an airplane without a parachute. He’s gripped with near ungovernable anger, but he also makes pee jokes.

 And you know what? It works. This isn't the stoic, empathetic gravity Chris Evans brought to Captain America or the endless charisma Robert Downey Jr. afforded Iron Man, but it is effective and believable character work. Watching the movie, I was convinced that if Momoa were ever stricken with superpowers, he’d be Arthur Curry. His physicality translates into genuine weight on screen and his delivery is natural. He actually made me laugh, which is a feat considering how butchered the vast majority of the comedy in this movie is.

Supporting Momoa is a cadre of capable actors: Amber Heard, Patrick Wilson, Willem Dafoe, Nicole Kidman, Michael Beach, Temuera Morrison. All of them turn in barely serviceable performances which, considering their skill, is shocking. It felt like watching good actors doing a table read. Surprisingly, the standout cast member for me is Dolph Lundgren. He gives a very fine performance as old and battle-hardened King Nereus. As someone who grew up in the era of the trashy, disposable action movies of the 90s, I really enjoyed it.

Side Note: The character of Black Manta and everything surrounding him is fucking stupid. We’re talking grand, fucking stupidity here. He is trash, his backstory is trash, his motivation is trash, and everything adjacent to him is trash. I'd expound further, but I watched the movie two days ago and the rage is still great in me. Fuck Black Manta.

  SPECTACLE

This is the jewel of this movie. If director James Wan poured his all into anything, it was the visuals. This movie is stunning. It has genuine grandeur in its presentation. Atlantis is realised as a glowing, neon metropolis under the sea. Its aesthetic is equal parts fantasy and science fiction with inspiration traceable to Star Wars, Lord of The Ring, and Avatar. I can see some finding it overstuffed, but I found it enchanting. And it's brightly lit, which feels like a stark rebuke of the dim, shadowy, unfocused lighting of previous DCEU offerings.

 This emphasis on radiance bleeds into the action sequences. They’re staged with scope and clarity in mind. The camera works to ensure you’re never lost for perspective as the bodies and energy beams fly. It is so refreshing. I never thought the best action movie of the DCEU would be done by someone other than Zack Snyder, but James Wan delivered a confident and energetic spectacle of a movie.

 The CGI deserves particular note as well. Everything is so well rendered that I wonder how BvS and Justice League could be more expensive movies when they feel so much weaker in how they're visuals are realised. This is a movie I want to own and re-watch for the effects alone. There's a scene early on where Patrick Wilson’s Orm and Dolph Lundgren's Nereus meet with Orm riding some kind of shark/crocodile hybrid and Nereus on a giant seahorse. It's badass in a way it had no right to be.

  CLOSING

 Aquaman is a big movie and it is an okay movie. It excels in nothing, but its failures are also inoffensive. Well, Black Manta is offensive in how shit he is, but his screen time means he's not a deal breaker, at least for me. It's fine. It lacks the vaulting ambition to suffer a great fall and it has enough competence in all departments to not unravel at the seams. For the DCEU, it represents a new start in the post Justice League era. It shows a willingness to forego the heavy-handed mythologizing and weightless symbolism that plagued earlier movies in favour of just making movies about these ridiculous characters and leaving it at that. As an action movie, it's a fun time. You'll enjoy your popcorn.

 But there's something else I found compelling about the movie. A great deal is made of Arthur Curry's parentage. He is referred to as a half breed and a mongrel several times by the people of Atlantis. Being half Atlantean and half human, he is seen as tainted. This takes on greater meaning when you consider that Jason Momoa, a man born of a native Hawaiian father and a Germanic, Irish, and Native American mother, plays this character. A character who for decades has been drawn in the comics as a blond and blue eyed white man. Momoa's actual heritage is incorporated into this version of Authur Curry by way of the tattoos that adorn the character’s upper body. These tattoos take design and influence from Momoa's real life tattoos, chief among them the rows of triangles on his left forearm that he's described as his aumakua, his Hawaiian family’s crest.

 Jason Momoa performed a Haka--a Māori war dance--at the movie’s blue carpet premier and added mannerisms of that dance into his own screen performance. The movie’s box office tracking all but confirms that going forward, in the greater pop culture consciousness, Aquaman will no longer be known as a white person. He’ll be known as a person of colour. This fact didn't increase the movie’s quality, but it made for a much more welcoming movie.

 I give Aquaman a 2.5 out of 5. 3, if you take a bathroom break during all the scenes were Black Manta doesn’t have his dumb, laser shooting helmet on.