#I gained the ability to see the creeping shadow figures that hide at the corners of your vision

[lennydark]

So…. I actually worked a lot end of year. Anyone here ever done five twelve hour shifts then follow it up with 6 sixteen hour shifts? Ever been told you get a break but then it just doesn’t happen.

Here are my most listened to songs through this whole thing

Day 1: You say run (rock version) Day 2: Heartbeat failing by Dead by April Day 3: Dot Your Eyes by Five Finger Death Punch Day 4: XOXO (kisses hugs) by 6arleyhuman Day 5: Caffeine  by jeff Williams Day 6: Kill or be killed by New Years Day Day 7: The Cult of Dionysus by The Orion Experience Day 8: Riot by Hollywood Undead Day 9: Flatline by Blind Channel Day 10: Rage by MoonDiety Day 11: Blissful Overdose  by Sewerslvt

I would have had to do more work but I was just minding my own business and suddenly the floor and the ceiling switched places. I slept the last three days.

[lovelivingmydreams]

A might have been

Because I needed my @kingcreativityau fix and my brain does not shut up.

So… What if King didn’t split before Instinct formed? Does that lead to a happily ever after for all?

Instinct opened his eyes. He had eyes now. And there were many eyes staring back at him.

There was only one pair that mattered right now though.

“K-king?” he asked, not quite clear on how he knew it. He just did.

The familiar eyes lit up and the figure they belonged to, warm and bright and… good, turned to a cool presence and shook it.

“He recognizes me!!!” he exclaimed. It was loud but familiar, so instinct was able to ignore the initial urge to jump back at the sound. King turned back to him while he blinked away the last bits of disorientation and confusion. Trying to identify more things. King was moving from one foot to the other excitedly, but biting his lip and clenching his fists to give him the time. It made him smile. He was right. King was his friend.

There were two other sides flanking King, and one standing a bit farther to the back.

“Yes, yes…” the cool side grumbled as he straightened himself out before directing his curious bespectacled gaze to Instinct. “It is rather fascinating. Never before has a side shown any indication of retaining any kind of memory of before his manifestation.��

Instinct took note of the tone of voice and found a name to go with it. “Logic?” he asked. This surprised the side. “I… Yes…” he confirmed.

“Oooooh! Me next!!!” the shortest side giggled.

Instinct frowned, it wasn’t as clear in his mind as the other two, but a title eventually came, much to his relief. He didn’t want to disappoint anyone.

“Morality?”

The excited squeal told him he was right.

“Perhaps he simply knows more because he formed later in Thomas’ life,” Logic suggested.

“Come now Logic. Why is it so hard to believe that he learned all about us through king?” Morality objected.

Instinct felt very lost right now. Why were they talking about him like that? Could they still not see him?

He thought he manifested right. He wasn’t as tall as most of the others but he was here right? Was he not finished? Maybe he was just a shadow and a voice? Not good enough to be considered one of them yet…

“Don’t mind  them. They still have to get used to you being here. Wanna go play in the imagination with me? I have so much to show you!” King gushed reaching out a hand, but waiting for Instinct to take it. The newly formed side lifted a trembling hand and reached out. Once the appendage came into view Instinct felt a little bit more encouraged, he was visible it seemed and then his fingers touched the offered palm.

And just like that instinct relaxed completely. He was here after all.

The two other sides paused their conversation and Morality looked like he felt very bad, even Logic seemed too embarrassed to meet anyone’s gaze. “Oh I am so sorry instinct! We didn’t mean to ignore you. It’s all just so exciting, we tend to get carried away,” the short, bespectacled side assured him.

“Indeed. My apologies as well. I should have realized that you are now here and more than capable of understanding and answering any questions we may have.”

“After I show him around!” King stated firmly, but then he seemed to catch himself and looked back down at Instinct a little sheepish. “Unless you want to stay here for a bit first?”

Instinct thought about that. He didn’t feel like being around a lot of people right now.

And getting to know the mindscape a bit more sounded like a good idea.

“I’ll come with you,” he stated before turning to Logic and Morality. “We’ll talk later okay?”

The two sides nodded and waved them off, the other side who hadn’t talked to him yet -was that Deceit?- was walking away. Instinct didn’t have time to ask. King pulled him along, pointing things out and telling him all about them, often getting of track until Instinct pointed at something specific and asked about it.

Instinct soon settled into the mindscape.

He kept a close eye on Thomas and ensured they didn’t get in danger, or got anyone mad at them. He was very careful about upsetting the others as well. That didn’t mean he never messed up.

“I’m sorry Morality! Please, don’t cry…” he whispered soothingly as he hugged the slightly smaller boy.

“Instinct what is going on?” Logic asked as he and King appeared in the common space.

“There was a scary shadow and… I thought…I didn’t mean to upset Morality I promise!” Instinct pleaded. He directed his eyes mainly at King.

He was keeping Thomas up with his worries. Meaning he was keeping him from dreaming. King was going to be mad, he just knew it.

“You feared there was an intruder and you went to Morality for comfort yes?” Logic deduced.

Instinct nodded, wringing at the corners of the hooded blanket King gave him when it became clear that soft textures and hiding away his face made Instinct feel more comfortable at times.

“Oh, Instinct. Why didn’t you come to me? You know I’ll gladly get rid of any creeps that lurk in the night?” King wondered.

“I… Yes, but you were hard at work making a dream for Thomas and…”

“Then why not come to me? I could have explained any shadows or sounds like usual…”

Instinct knew all that. He didn’t know why he’d gone to Morality. He knew that wouldn’t end well. It never did. But…

“I already bothered you enough today and…” And now he’d bothered them even more. Instinct tried not to be in the way too much. But everything made him wonder.

How did they know the bike would keep steady? Why was Shea crying? Would the teacher be mad if they asked that question? How could they make Mom smile?

“King will you take care of Instinct? I’ll talk to Morality,” Logic suggested.

King nodded and put a gentle hand on Instinct’s back to lead him away.

“Sorry,” the youngest side muttered one last time.

“It’s no problem Instinct. What did you say to send Morality in such a state though?” King wondered.

“I… I told him about the shadow and I tried to do what Logic does. I tried to ‘reason’ and say that if it was something bad, mom and dad would protect us. But… But then I got afraid something would happen to them and… Morality didn’t like that,” he muttered. Why did he have to bring up those scary things all the time?

“Well… You are right. Something could always happen,” King nodded slowly.

Instinct cringed at the thought. “But… Dad is very brave. I don’t think there is any challenge he couldn’t overcome,” the creative side assured him.

“Really?” Instinct asked hopefully.

“Really. And mother is very smart, I’m sure she can outwit any bad guy.”

King was so certain of it that Instinct couldn’t doubt him.

“Thank you King. I’m sorry I kept Thomas up,” he muttered.

“No worries. Let’s go to the dream room, I’m sure now that you and Morality are calming down, Thomas will be needing a marvelous adventure soon.”

Instincts eyes widened. “You still want me there? What if I mess up again?”

“You won’t. At most you’ll come up with exciting challenges for us to overcome. Logic did say that dreams can help us overcome the worries of the day right? So you have to be there!”

Instinct chuckled as King pulled him to the dream room.

Logic did manage to calm down Morality, who ensured Instinct that he wasn’t mad with him in any way. But they all agreed that it was better that Instinct relied on the two older looking sides when he needed reassurance for the time being. Morality was very comforting and understanding, but he could easily be swept up by his own emotions. Logic predicted that as they got older, this would change.

So instinct stuck to asking Logic his questions. Though he often had to turn to King anyway if he needed to truly be reassured. Logic had a way of… Stating the odds. And while knowing that the chance of getting struck by lightning was really small was enough reassurance for most. In Instinct’s mind any chance was too risky sometimes.

King however could coax him from under his cover and let them all enjoy the way the light danced across the sky as he told silly stories about the thunder.

And as Instinct, and therefore Thomas, started to rely on creativity to soothe his fears some of King’s old power returned.

“So you see, you are actually the bravest of us all! A real royal knight!” King exclaimed with a flourish of his hand. Before Instinct could argue, his soft sweater and hooded blanket changed into a knight costume, baring King’s sigil.

Instincts eyes widened in awe and King was speechless.

“Ah, king I wished to discuss… What is going on?” Logic wondered as he found Instinct staring down at himself and King looking at his hands stunned.

“My powers are back…” he muttered.

“I am sorry. What?” Logic asked confused.

“Not as they were… but…” Then King grabbed Instincts hands and started dancing around with him. “My powers! Oh Instinct! Such joyous day!”

Morality was happy about this development as well. Logic however was slightly concerned. With the strange outbursts King kept having… Was it safe for him to have that power again?

He’d thought Instinct was only helping keep King in check.

He’d noticed a significant increase in Thomas’ ability to concentrate, since Instinct often pleaded with King not to distract Thomas. Fearing sever punishment should they get bad grades. Logic had to admit he didn’t put as much effort in rationalizing those worries as he did others. It was selfish, he knew, but he could finally work in peace.

On occasion King even helped visualize the material in ways that made it easier for Thomas to understand and remember.

In retrospect this might have been a long time coming. Thomas was using his creativity in more daily tasks again, even if it was in more practical ways. To deal with his studies, to deal with his emotions… King might no longer be able to convince Thomas that reality was something different than what it was. But he had once more gained the ability to change the mindscape, change them, to some extent. Which wasn’t too terrible, King seemed to have learned to take others into consideration when making decisions… But those outbursts.

King’s first order of business turned out to be to give Instinct a way to deal with his worries on his own. “It’ll be good for you to conquer Thomas’ fears on your own! Just visualize, and then turn them into something harmless.”

It’d taken a while for Instinct to manage to turn the shadows he could only yell threats at until they dissolved into bunnies, puppies and kittens. But he managed.

Now if King and Logic were busy and couldn’t help him out he could just catch whatever it was and that made him feel in control.

One afternoon, King was helping Thomas with a drawing and Logan was preparing for a math problem after, when Instinct found himself struggling with a rather large ‘stress bunny’ as they’d dubbed them.

“Oh, no you don’t! I won’t let you hurt Thomas!” Instinct insisted as he chased the creature. Determined to succeed, even though it whispered doubts and worries into his ears that made part of him want to run up to king and beg him not to show anyone the drawing.

“If they hate it, it’ll hurt him!” the whisper insisted.

But instinct was focused on catching the bunny. King wouldn’t show anyone anything if he wasn’t completely satisfied. Besides he often asked their opinion on it before showing it off anyway. If it was really a problem, Instinct could handle that later. After he took down this damn Bunny.

“Need a hand?” a smooth, pleasant voice wondered. Instinct froze along with the bunny.

Once he realized that the bunny was distracted, the young side jumped on the bunny grinning in triumph as it dissolved. He had confronted the thoughts and showed them who was boss!

Now, who had helped distract them?

Instinct looked up and took the side in. He looked like a preteen. Older than him and Morality, but younger than King. Maybe more Logic’s age?

Not that that meant anything. If they looked their age, Instinct should still be a baby.

Or they’d all be around six years old like Thomas.

Anyway. Instinct knew who this was, the same way he’d known everyone else. He smiled brightly and waved in greeting. “Hi Deceit. Finally decided to meet me?” he wondered.

Why, he didn’t know but this was the first time he’d seen him up close since he formed. He could sometimes see him hanging at the edge of his peripheral. Sometimes human sometimes as a snake. But never anywhere near any of them.

“Maybe,” Deceit muttered, looking around tensely.

Instinct got up and reached out a hand in greeting. “I’m instinct. I keep Thomas safe,” he greeted.

Deceit hesitated, looking from the hand to his face and back. Slowly he reached out…

“Instinct!” The side in question jumped at his name being called. He looked around and there was king. Oh! Wait until he heard about this!

“King! You should have seen it! It was a stress bunny half my size and it was so fast! But then Deceit distracted it and I got it! I wasn’t even a little afraid!” he exclaimed proudly.

“That’s… Great Instinct. Why don’t you go tell the others. I want you all to check over the drawing Thomas made before we give it to Mother.”

Instinct nodded and waved goodbye to Deceit who waved back. “Until next time, Instinct.”

Once Instinct was out of earshot King turned to Deceit with a glare.

“Forgotten to tell your pet to stay away from the big bad snake did you?” Deceit taunted bitterly.

“Instinct is my friend!” King bellowed. “And you will never speak to him again if you know what’s good for you!” his eyes flared red with his passion.

“Why haven’t you told him to stay away?” Deceit wondered, pretending like the whole conversation didn’t both hurt and terrify him.

“Telling him about you means telling him about Logic. And he needs the nerd to calm down on occasion. If he can’t rely on him… Besides, the nerd has actually tried to be decent. And he never pretended to be my friend.” That got Deceit’s attention.

“I was… I am… Why can’t you see that that day wasn’t about us!?” Deceit pleaded, façade dropping.

“There is no us… Maybe there never was.”

Deceit latched onto the hurt in King’s voice. Twisted as it may be. The fact that it hurt King too meant that it had meant something. Which also made this new normal hurt so much more.

“So what? You’ve replaced me so I can rot away on the sidelines all by myself?” he bit.

“Don’t you dare compare yourself to Instinct. He actually has an opinion. He is shy about sharing it sometimes, but he will tell me when he has doubts about my ideas. Which is what it means to be a true friend! They tell you when you are getting in over your head and stop you from doing something that makes everyone turn against you!”

Deceit staggered back with the force of the outburst.

“This is the last time I’ll let you get away with this. I see you anywhere near him again…”

King’s eyes flashed green and he didn’t finish his threat. He just squeezed his eyes shut and stalked away.

They all knew there were still things they needed to learn about Instinct. And that Instinct would most likely grow into other things over time. Knowing that something was coming sooner or later didn’t mean they were prepared for it though.

“I don’t think they are really friends with Christian,” Instinct muttered.

A group of older kids had approached Thomas as he was playing in the front yard. They said they were friends with his older brother and asked him to go get their ball for them a few houses over.

“Even if they’re not… We should help them though right?” Morality suggested.

“But won’t the old man get mad that we trespassed?” he tried again.

“The plan they proposed is very thoroughly planned out.” If Logic was on board, usually that would calm Instinct down but… This still didn’t feel right.

“But we’ll need their help to get back over the gate. What if they run off?” he insisted.

“That would be dishonorable and cowardly! If they dare, we’ll make our way back over the gate ourselves and get reinforcements!” King declared.

Instinct looked around frantically. No. This was wrong. All wrong he couldn’t let this happen.

“No!” He yelled so loud and forceful that it bypassed all of them and came out of Thomas’ mouth just as commanding. Surprising the boys and alerting mother.

“Thomas? What’s going on?” Mother’s voice called out in alarm.

“Run!” one of the boys shouted and they all fled the scene while Thomas burst into tears.

Instinct was still reeling from his own outburst and looking around at the others, worried he’d overstepped.

“S-s-spider!” Morality whimpered. Instinct looked around in a panic. Spider? Where? The others were scared of spiders. He had to get rid of them if there… Then he saw the arachnid legs in his peripheral. He felt them. He was the spider.

Only now did he notice his senses had sharpened. He could feel so much. He could even feel the other’s breathing.

And they were all frightened. Of him.

He shot off. Running as fast as he could. And with four extra legs he was very fast.

He went farther away from the central consciousness than he ever had in his life.

He collapsed under a gorgeous willow at the edge of the mindscape.

He only registered the willow because he couldn’t not see. He saw and heard and felt… It was almost overwhelming.

He also saw the snake curled up in the tree, but he didn’t care. He collapsed and curled up on himself nestling against the trunk, hidden by the leaves. He sat there shaking. For a second, a minute, a year…

He was so full of doubt and self-loathing. Time was irrelevant.

“Will you at least be quiet? Some sides like to wallow in peace.” The snake, Deceit, hissed.

“S-sorry,” Instinct whispered, trying not to upset the snake even more.

“Oh, my. That’s quite the transformation. A complete 180 from cute ten year old wouldn’t you think?” Instinct looked up. Deceit was curled up in a hole in the tree above his head and looking down on him.

Instinct shivered. “I didn’t… Mean to... I just… Thomas was… Something bad was going to happen and I just had to. Do something.”

“Is he still in danger?” the snake wondered as he made his way down the trunk and righted himself in front of Instinct.

“Well…” Instinct thought about it. Mom was with Thomas. Everything would be okay now.

“No…” he admitted.

“Then why not drop the scary act? We both know you aren’t that tough. Or maybe the cute kid is the act. I don’t know. What do you think?”

“I don’t want anyone to be scared of me. I never did!” Instinct insisted. He wanted everyone to be safe. That was all.

“So, what is this then? Didn’t they listen to sweet little instinct, so you had to be a big bad spider to protect Thomas?” It wasn’t accusatory. And… Maybe a little right.

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” Instinct repeated.

“I believe you. You wouldn’t be able to lie to me anyway,” Deceit assured him.

“I… Thanks.” Somehow, someone believing him, helped. And just like that he felt himself going back to normal. And then Deceit was in front of him in his human form.

“Good job,” he praised gently.

“Why don’t the others ever talk to you? You seem nice,” Instinct frowned. He didn’t know how he got so bold, but the question had been plaguing his mind since day one.

“I’m Deceit. I can’t be trusted… They probably have a point not wanting to be friends with me. Not unless they need something.”

Instinct thought about that. “Well…” he sat up straighter.

“Maybe I can talk to them? If they don’t kick me out for earlier that is.”

Deceit gave Instinct a sad smile. “That’s nice, but I’d rather you didn’t. You are alright Instinct. I should be going…”

“Instinct?! Instinct where are you?”

Instinct almost called King over, but then saw Deceit stiffen.

“Hide,” he mouthed instead as he walked out from between the tree branches.

“I’m here,” he announced softly.

King let out a sigh of relieve, hurried over and knelt down to talk more on Instinct’s height.

“I’m so glad you are safe,” he told him. “King! Oh goodness! You found him!”

Morality exclaimed as he and Logic joined them.

“I told you this would be where he’d go,” King pointed out slightly smugly.

“Yes, you did,” Logic nodded as he turned to Instinct.

“Instinct. We wanted you to know that Mom is not upset with Thomas.”

“She said it was brave to say ‘no’!” King exclaimed in excitement.

“I’m so sorry I got scared!” Morality rushed worriedly.

“I think that was the point actually,” Logic suggested.

“I didn’t want to scare you!” Instinct exclaimed, horrified that Logic would suggest that.

“I am sure that was not your conscious intension. But I meant… It has been clear for some time that you are more than just a base instinct. You are fear. In general.”

Fear… That, did sound better.

“Yeah…” He looked at king. “Would it be okay? If I am Fear? Are we still friends?” he asked timidly. He had been rather forceful. Maybe King didn’t like Fear as much as he did instinct.

“I promise I won’t do… I won’t abuse that thing I did back there. I don’t even know how I did it…”

King pulled Fear in for a hug. “Of course we are still friends. No matter how often your name changes, that won’t.”

Fear relaxed at that.

Morality squealed at the sweet display.

“This calls for cookies! Maybe even double servings!” he gushed as he led the way back to the central consciousness. King let go of Fear, who darted out to the front to talk with Logic about what he thought his role was exactly. Of course he wanted to understand as much as possible right away.

King held back a little. His eyes flashing red.

“I know you’re back there,” he growled.

“I didn’t do anything. I was here when he came storming in…” Deceit pleaded.

“You expect me to believe you stayed hidden? That you didn’t say a word?” King growled, not looking back.

“I… I just helped him calm down enough to put his spider form away. Nothing else!” Deceit swore.

“Stay away from him you slimy two faced snake!” King looked back and Deceit could see one eye, looking down at him with pure hatred. Glowing red and then green as a wicked grin split across his face.

“Now that would be funny,” he chuckled cruelly to himself, before he turned fully, eyes wide in horror. Deceit doubled over as he felt his left side burning and itching… What was happening?

King righted himself. “I warned you… You did this to yourself.”

Lie, it was a lie. King tried to act like this was intended, but even as Deceit’s vision twisted and he saw the scales appear on his left hand, he could tell that King was just as shocked as he was. “Please!” he begged, but king turned and started walking away.

“I’ll take it back when you’ve learned your place!” he barked before leaving him behind.

King didn’t tell the others about what happened. Not even Fear. Even if part of him wanted to talk about it. He didn’t have to worry anyone. He just had to get control over these… Thoughts, ideas. What if he’d done that to someone important? To a dream? To Fear?

No he wouldn’t. Fear was his friend. He wouldn’t hurt his friend.

Or so he thought.

There had been slip ups of course. Saying a weird thing, or a suggestion that was dangerous or ‘bad’.

In the moment they seemed brilliant but one look at the incredulous faces of the others made him realize just what he suggested and hurriedly corrected himself.

“I’m kidding! Of course we can’t do that!” he’d laugh.

He was pretty sure Logic didn’t buy his excuses.

He could handle Logic’s suspicions, his attempts at getting King to talk about it and the way he and Morality would look at him like he’d gone insane. But Fear, he looked terrified by those suggestions. He hated that he did that. He was supposed to make things easier on him. Not worse.

And of course, Fear was around when he made a real big mistake.

As good as the young worrier had gotten at conquering fears, he still preferred to find comfort with his friends. Today he was worried about going on their first big bicycling trip with the family.

“We aren’t ready! What if we can’t keep up? What if we fall and cut open our knee?” he fretted. King had thought that this was a case were Logic would be better suited, but he wanted to at least try to comfort his friend. He would come to regret that decision.

The image of bleeding knees stuck with him. Exposed bone, infections…

All kinds of horrid, disgusting thoughts sprung from that and he didn’t realize he was saying them out loud until Fear used his spider voice.

“Stop!” King wasn’t forced to be quiet this time. Fear was holding back his influence it seemed. But the raw emotion was just as effective.

“I don’t like this game King! Please stop!” he cried shakily.

King immediately fell to his knees to comfort his friend. “I am so sorry Fear. I was thinking out loud. I didn’t even realize. I never… I’m sorry,” he chocked. He had upset him. He’d upset Fear. He didn’t have it under control. He needed help.

King looked up. And the last thing he saw was Fear’s pleading eyes overflowing with tears.

“Oh…” Fear breathed as he whipped away the tears and calmed down, relieved his friend was back to himself.

“I get that. My thoughts do that too. It’s okay. Logic has been teaching me to manage it.”

King nodded. Yes. Logic would know what to do. Maybe they could handle these thoughts like Fear’s worries. Push them out and take them down. Just more permanently.

“Good idea, I’ll go talk to him right away.”

“I can help too!” Fear insisted. “I can teach you what I’ve learned.” The younger side was eager to help his friend for once instead of the other way around.

He was brushed aside though, assured that it wouldn’t be long.

Fear didn’t manage to stay away though. A feeling of dread filling his stomach. King wouldn’t do something stupid would he?

Ice filled Fear’s veins. King would absolutely do something stupid.

Fear kept him from jumping from too high. Fear kept him from looking in dark alleys.

Fear started running. He had to stop him. Whatever he was doing, it wasn’t going to be good. “King!” He called out. He was caught by Morality in a normally soothing embrace. But now it was only a restraint. “It’s okay kiddo. We all agree this is best for Thomas,” he heard muttered in his ear. Fear shook his head.

“I didn’t agree! I disagree! Please! Please King don’t!” he begged. But he could see that it was too late. King was buckled over with whatever he was doing to himself, Logic only two steps away trying to talk creativity trough whatever crazy plan they’d come up with.

Time passed and due to a joint effort of the twins Fear forgave himself for losing King, coming out of a self-imposed isolation after a few months. He also forgave the others. Knowing that they truly only wanted to do what King asked. And if the twins weren’t angry with them, he had really no place.

He and the boys got along even when the twins were fighting.

Said fights were often put to an end by him putting his foot down and getting them to talk things out. They were brothers after all. No one understood what it was like to be them like them.

King sort of kept his promise. It didn’t matter that King was now Roman and Remus or that Instinct was Fear, Anxiety or Virgil. The three of them stayed friends.

Bad horror movies with Remus, Disney marathons with Roman… Virgil would always miss his first friend, but he wouldn’t trade the twins for anything.

Thomas still struggled a little with his social anxiety at times, but he had a good relationship with Virgil on the whole. While Virgil told the others his name right away, it took him a while to tell Thomas. Mostly because he just… Well he was nervous. None of the others divulged this information for him, respecting that he had his reasons to wait.

Things got bad though. He ducked out. After months of dealing with Thomas’ issues as a group Virgil came to the conclusion that he was the problem, despite his best efforts.

  Virgil opened his eyes. Something had knocked him back pretty hard. Had he been knocked unconscious? For how long?

That train of thought was put aside by the group immediately collectively breaking down his door and almost begging him to never leave again.

When Janus showed up for the first time there was some tension between him and Roman. Things were always tenser between him and the good creativity than the bad.

And after two rounds of manipulating Roman for his own agenda Virgil is not a fan of him either. Impersonating Patton and Logan was one thing, but upsetting Princey?

Until that moment they’d been friends, even if Virgil spoke out against him a lot on a professional level, they got along great. He even suggested trying to talk to the twins about reversing king’s accidental curse, though Janus had declined.

Now however Virgil felt like he was forced to choose. And he resolutely chose for Roman.

Roman and Remus both at one point swore to Virgil to never leave him after he had a nightmare.

The last thing the twins see is Virgil looking on in horror and betrayal.

He looked up and found two figures in front of him… Patton? Why was he sitting like that? Was he hurt? Who would…?

Virgil looked up and gasped, drawing the attention of the imposing figure that was towering over Patton’s shaking form. No… No… This couldn’t be happening. He’d mourned and put all that behind him! And this… This was a mockery of everything any previous creativity stood for. This had to be a sick nightmare.

“Ah, Fear. How are you doing my old friend?”

[crazy-sevens]

Writing Snippet #11

“I’d really rather you wouldn’t run. It would make this more difficult than it needs to be.”

The hero spun around. There was no sign anyone was there. Except for a shadow leaning against the wall. The hero felt their heartbeat spike. They backed up. “Who are you?”

“Oh [hero’s name], you know who I am.”

“Well, maybe if you were to stand in some sort of light instead of standing there like a creep, I would be able figure it out.” The hero kept their voice light, but their steps backward betrayed their false bravado. How did they know their name?

The form walked up closer, forcing the hero back if they wanted to keep some distance between them. They both made it into a lamp’s glow, the light washing over the figure. The hero’s breath hitched. “You’re [villain’s name].”

“Indeed I am.”

The hero’s heart hammered. What in the world was [villain’s name] doing here? The villain was someone you read about in the news, not someone you would ever meet. Almost like a celebrity. You knew they existed. You saw them on screen or in the papers. You never actually see them in real life, let alone talk to them in the dark. 

But here they were.

The hero narrowed their eyes. “What do you want?”

“To talk.” The villain smiled. “I love meeting new people.”

“I’d rather pass,” the hero said. “From what I’ve heard about you, I think we’re just too different to make a friendship work.”

“Oh I don’t think so,” the villain said. “From what I’ve heard about you, I think we’d get along fine.”

The hero swallowed hard. “What have you heard about me?”

“I know about the accident last week.”

The hero felt all the blood leave their face. Their words came out shaky, “I’m fine if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“More than fine I think.”

The hero kept quiet at that. They didn’t feel fine. As soon as they got home after what happened, they stumbled over to the bathroom to throw up, their insides seeming to be on fire. They didn’t know what happened to them. The machine was just experimental. It wasn’t supposed to be used on them! Even now that they had gotten some grips over everything, the power still itched inside of them, begging to be used. They had nearly destroyed their apartment with it. Something with that amount of force unleashed on someone, even someone as vile as the villain; it horrified the hero. 

They didn’t know what to do. Go to the police? The government? No. The hero knew how they used people like them. For their own gain, for experiments on how their abilities worked. They had been forced to watch. All they could do was hope, pray, that no one saw them. But someone knew. And the dark interest in their stare made the hero’s blood run cold.

“Okay so we’ve talked. Can I go home now?” The hero asked. “Not that I don’t appreciate talking with a known criminal in the dark, I’d just really like to go home and study now.” They took a couple slow steps backward. “Final tomorrow, you know?”

But before the hero could turn and go full sprint, the villain grabbed their wrist. Something inside them lurched, throwing the hero to their knees, trembling. Stop stop stop stop stop! Dark shadows misted around them. It took everything in the hero to keep it from lashing out. It seemed to beat inside them, almost punishing them for keeping it at bay. Is this how superheroes felt? They doubted it. The power seemed to have a mind of its own. 

People shouldn’t be experimenting with superpowers. They shouldn’t even be trying. Because whatever they put into that machine was twisted. Nothing like regular superpowers. It was man-made. 

Unnatural.

The villain’s hand was still latched to them. They watched with cold fascination. Until they did something almost suicidal, given how dangerous this situation was already. 

They struck the hero across the face.

The power exploded. Shadows leapt uncontained from the hero’s trembling form, seizing the villain and slamming them against the wall. They were terrible claws as black as night, which would have been invisible in the darkness if not for the lamplight. The hero stood up, still trembling, and touched their face where the villain struck them. They weren’t able to hold their powers back, but at least they were able to keep it from tearing the villain apart. All it did was hold the villain to the wall.

Said villain did nothing but examine the claws, until they gave a simple, “Interesting.”

The hero’s voice shook. “Why did you do that?” 

“Might as well see what you can do,” the villain replied. And with one hand they grabbed the inky blackness. Steam rose from their touch and the power seemed to hiss, retreating back into the hero, dropping the villain from its hold. The villain strolled forward like nothing had happened. 

The hero stumbled back. Okay this isn’t funny. Come back.

But there was nothing. No black claws, no feeling that it was even there at all. They were starting to panic as the villain got closer. Come on, come on, come on!

Of course when the hero wanted to actually use the power it didn’t work! 

They turned and ran. They whipped around corners, rushed through streets, all with barely any sounds of pursuit behind them. But they didn’t stop. They only had to when they reached a dead end. 

They cursed.

“I told you running would only make things difficult.”

The hero spun around. The villain was standing right at the opening of the alley. “Don’t you want to learn how to control it? You don’t need to hurt anyone.” 

“Stay away from me!” The hero shouted, backing away even further until their back hit the wall. They felt like a cornered animal. Tired, desperate, and helpless.

Why wasn’t the power working? 

The villain stalked closer. “I can help you,” they offered.

“I don’t want your help!” the hero seethed. “Just leave me alone!”

The villain flashed a smile. “Oh sweetheart I can’t do that,” they said as they stepped closer. “Eventually somebody else will find out. I can’t let them damage what is rightfully mine.” 

The hero’s heart slammed in their chest. “I don’t belong to anyone.”

“If not me then somebody else,” the villain said. “You’re not naive. Eventually someone just like me will come around, but they won’t offer to train you like I am.” They shook their head. “You’ll be completely defenseless.”

“Don’t act like you want to help me,” the hero hissed. “You just want to use me. Just like everyone else would.”

They shrugged, smiling as they stepped even closer. “Maybe. But at least we’ll both get something out of this deal.”

“It seems a little one sided to me,” the hero said.

“It’s the best you can hope for,” the villain replied.

The hero paused for a beat. “What if I just went to the hero organization?” they threatened. “They’ll help me.” 

The villain laughed at that. Even to the hero it sounded a bit pathetic.

“You think they’ll help you?” they asked incredulously. The villain took another step closing the gap between them entirely. “They don’t even bother training recruits before sending them out. You’ll just be another killed hero in the papers.” They brushed the hero’s hair out of their eyes gently. “I’m giving you a fighting chance.”

The hero swallowed. Even that movement seemed to draw the villain’s gaze. Their cold eyes flickered with amusement.

“And what if I say no?” the hero asked, even if they already knew the answer.

The villain chuckled softly. “Yes or no, I have a habit of getting what I want.”

The hero shivered.

They couldn’t deny that it was tempting. They wanted to learn. They wanted to be able to control it. But not with the villain. The hero knew the horrible things they’ve done. They couldn’t be trusted.

But what else could the hero do? 

The villain was telling the truth. Eventually someone else would find out. They didn’t want to think about the experiments, the screams. It already haunted their nightmares, the hero wouldn’t let it be a reality. The hero tried one more time to get the power to work. 

Nothing.

The hero dropped their head, hiding the tears that started to spill down their face. “O-Okay.”

The villain’s smile widened. They ran a finger up the hero’s throat turning their chin up so the hero would look at them. They brushed away the tears with their thumb. “Don’t cry darling. You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”

And yet, the hero was the most terrified they’d ever been.

[lilaacstars]

      you’re in my veins (and i can’t get you out).

                           rating: T | words: 31.227 | pt 2.

                                   read it on ao3

He watches how her eyes grow big after listening to his offer. His eyes fix on her and start to notice the bruises she has close to her scalp, down to her ear, the edge of her jaw and on the visible part of her neck. Her bangs are falling gracefully to the side - too  gracefully- but he can take a peek, with the little cat senses he still has left, and see that underneath that perfect hairstyle there are stitches and missing hair.

He gulps, almost choking on his saliva, it feels thick and heavy and his throat has closed, impeding his ability to breathe, but he hasn’t stopped so his body trembles, and it is like he will puke, but there’s only the acid on his stomach, and it goes up as if it was a bubbly chemical reaction, but his throat is still closed, and he just feels as if his whole body will shut down but it’s too awake at the vision of her. And then the sensations pile up, then crumble down, then pile up again, and it’s a cycle of obscure overwhelming emotions that trigger and stop every reaction his body pulls. 

It is disgusting, nauseating, gory even.  

Upclose, face to face, breathing the same air, the consequences are not an image fabricated by his brain anymore, and yet, he knows there are so many more hidden marks of treachery that will present itself in flesh and pain.  

Her lips tremble and her sight finally fixes on his, only to look away a second after. 

However, she leans forward, closer to the window. 

Adrien takes one step back and that allows Ladybug to come inside the room. 

Her steps are careful and light as if she is ready to jump back to the window and run away from here at any given moment. Adrien is sure that it isn't a baseless guess, but what is truly going through her mind is still a cypher. 

After standing in the middle of the room and eyeing everywhere around, she finally walks back to stand beside the coffee table and lets out a long sigh. 

Next, Ladybug stands close to the window, only giving little steps in a small space. She takes the end of her long braid and starts playing with the end. 

He looks at her, hands on his pockets as he fidgets and waits for her to speak, for her to guide him where she needs to be.  

“It’s good to see you,” Adrien whispers and takes one step forward.

Ladybug crooks a brow and tightly hugs herself. She doesn’t answer. 

“You haven’t been out as Lady Noire in a long time. Is there a reason?” He asks, trying to sound as ignorant as a civilian would be. 

Ladybug lets out an amused scoff but there’s no real joy behind it. 

Her eyes are focused on the skyline and a thin layer of gleaming tears is set on her eyes.

Adrien gulps, unsure if the reaction has something to do with him or is all about the thoughts she’s been carrying through her night stroll. 

The question wouldn’t be an unusual one for a mere civilian. Maybe they wouldn’t be so eager to jump into it, maybe they would ask other questions first, but he was not a mere civilian… well, he was now, but there had been a time where he wasn’t.

No. 

He still isn’t a mere character walking down the road. He will never be, and yet that is the path he must pretend to follow. 

“This was a mistake,” He hears the whisper as loud as a siren. 

He jolts on his spot and takes fast steps towards her. It only makes her jump faster towards the window. 

“I- I’m-”

But before he can formulate a phrase on his mind for his mouth to stop the stammering, she is gone. 

His eyes follow as she is only a ship in the night between the sea of city lights. 

She is gone. 

Gone. 

Gone.

Gone. 

Gone.

Gone. 

Gone forever. 

But is she? 

She is not truly gone. She is alive, and she is patrolling, and Paris has their heroine back. 

But he doesn’t. 

He doesn’t have a partner, he doesn’t have a friend, he doesn’t have his other half. 

He is a broken piece of a human that once felt he finally had the piece that could make him endure life, and now she is gone. 

Not  truly , but he has been left alone with her shadow roaming through the brightest corners of the life of others, yet creeping on the back of his mind, only smiling on his memories, and frowning and avoiding his gaze into the future. 

His breath stops once again. One little detail striking like lightning. 

She avoided his gaze as if he was a deathly disease. 

Could… could she know who he was? 

Marinette seems to be aware that he once was something special; someone  special. And Ladybug is as smart as her, if not more. 

But if she knows, then she wouldn’t have come. If she hates him so much that she couldn’t even bear for him to touch her when she needed someone to lean on (not in the figurative sense) then why would she seek for him? Why would she come to him? 

It doesn’t make any sense and yet he can’t shake the thought out of his mind. 

And it stays there, like a fly on the wall. As the days pass he will forget about it, and then the buzz of the wings will echo in the chamber of his mind and then it would be the only thing he can focus on. 

Not school. 

Not Kagami.

Not his friends.

Not Nathalie.

Not his father who finally makes time to have dinner with him.

Nothing at all.

Nothing but her and the knowledge she might have. 

The wonder wouldn’t even pretend to hide when the sunset, it would make itself appear in other shapes through dreams. Some of them are tranquil, others are as bitter as reality can be, and yet the bittersweets are the worst. They show the road not taken, they show him taking good decisions after the terrible ones he’s taken, and reward him with what he has always wanted, the unravelling of the secret. Every day he wakes up and knows that he does not deserve any of it, that this can’t happen and that if it does happen he has to make sure he does not gain any redemption from it. And every day he wakes up knowing not only that he has broken every piece of her soul, but also has put her in imminent danger. 

When she left he could see her limp, he could see how he prefered a certain grab on the yo-yo, and how short her jumps were in comparison to her usual ones. 

There is nothing he can do to make it right, he’s already brought destruction to them, but if he could find a way to protect her, he wouldn’t think it twice.  

 xx

 He is sitting right next to Luka on the café table, as Nino looked for an empty chair he could use, he scribbled on a napkin. 

They were waiting for their order to come, only one glass full of fresh water in front of each, and sugar and a plate of napkins in the middle of the round table. 

Luka had his phone out, scrolling through, and tapping his foot against the pavement in a comforting rhythm. 

This 

“Sorry, I found a chair inside almost immediately, but I got bombarded by messages from Lya.”

Luka and Adrien giggled, the first more enthusiastic than the second, but that wasn’t a rare occurrence anymore, so there was no comment about it. 

“How many of those texts were pictures?” Luka asks. 

“Oh, half of those. She’s so excited that LB is back.”

Adrien stops drawing and looks towards Nino, watching his phone as Luka takes a look through the pictures.

“Ladybug was out?” He asks, pretending to not be incredibly interested. Even if after his breakdown in school he doesn’t think he can get away with it. 

“Yeah, there was an akuma attack like an hour and a half ago?” Nino asks and Luka nods at him, “Don’t you have your alarm on?”

“No.” It was too painful to hear the akuma emergency line going off and not being able to do anything. 

“Why not? You have to, you’re going to put yourself in danger.

His mouth opens and closes before he can show how uninterested he is in his safety. If he can stumble through the path of an akuma, he might see Ladybug, and no matter how many bruises, cuts, or blood he might lose on the way, all that pain would be worth it.

“It just stresses me out.” He lies, realizing his friends are expecting an answer, “Was she alone?” He can’t help but ask.

The shadow that crosses his friend’s eyes doesn’t startle him. He’s grown accustomed to this reaction. 

“Yes.” They nod. 

They seem to be interested in continuing this conversation, but Adrien has the call on it, and he doesn’t want any of it. They can’t know how personal it is for him, they can’t know that knowing that she is out there alone makes him feel as if he was cut in half. 

“What were you looking for in your phone?” He says, turning his head to Luka, “You looked consumed by your phone.”

“A bike.” He gives a toothy smile. 

“You already have one,” Nino says confused. 

“I think he means a motorcycle,” Adrien smiles. 

“Yes.”

“That’s so awesome,” Adrien chimes, “I have a license for it. My father doesn’t know, of course, but once I’m out of the house I’m buying one bike for myself too. Which ones have you seen?”

And Luka pulls out his phone again, showing the different models he has his eye on. 

Adrien is glad that the subject takes a lot of the conversation. As their food and coffees arrive, they’re still talking about the prices, the equipment, the special license he has to have, and how Juleka isn’t very fond of him buying “such a dangerous vehicle”.

“She wants me to buy a car, I’ve tried to let her see that a car doesn’t go with my style.”

“It would be more comfortable for you to carry around your instruments.”

“Yes, but a car will never be cooler than a bike. Also,” He changes the website to a new one, “Look at these amazing suits and helmets.” Nino and Adrien move their chairs closer to Luka to get a better look. 

There are different jackets and trousers to suit up for the cold, or not burn yourself with the pipes of the bikes (apparently this wasn’t a rare thing), there are others that only had the objective of making you look while riding. Adrien could understand that sometimes having a cool suit just made things better. 

When Luka changes to the helmets, there is one that catches Adrien’s attention. 

Is black and matte, with neon green accents around the shield, and all around the curve, as if it was stitched. 

“Wow,” He hears himself gasp. 

“I liked that one too!” Luka jumps, “But I think I will look like an astronaut, also I don’t think black is my colour.”

“It is mine.”

Nino and Luka laugh.

“When have you ever worn black?” Nino asks and gives him a shake as he hugs him, “I think I’ve seen you only wear it on photoshoots, and you always look so awkward.”

“I look fantastic in black.” Adrien protests, but not truly caring about making a better comeback. 

His mind is too busy planning something else. 

keep reading in ao3.

xx