#I fucking hate shark movies and how they’re used as justification for the massacre of wild animals bc ‘they scary :(‘

[yallemagne]

My brother put on one of those silly little shark movies and I didn’t watch the whole thing because who can be bothered, right? But so. This movie is dumb, right? The shark is just a massive reskin of a great white and I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be Megalodon?

Why is it near the shore? Why is the water positively filled to the brim with swimmers on floats? Was there a party? Was the shark invited?? Why does she KEEP EATING PEOPLE? She’s just barrelling through them!!

Yes, I am gendering the shark.

And then it cuts and there is this tiny pod of children on floaties in the MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN, they are nowhere near shore, how did they get out that far? They are like liiiiittle kids.

But of course the shark killers play some dolphin or whale call, and she doesn’t get to gorge herself on children bc that would be a liiiittle too grotesque. But like why would the shark turn away from prey that is right there if she heard some in the distance? Are they going by the fact that sharks don’t like human flesh? Was she just feeling bad about herself so she was binging junk food until she got a call that someone delivered That Good Shit?

I stopped paying attention until the man stabbed the giant shark in the eye and killed her. Because after that A MILLION SHARKS COME IN AND START EATING HER. THATS unironically a funny end to a giant shark movie. Except that a hammerhead saw the guy and started swimming at him to eat him and I’m like “nooo baby go eat mama she’s right over there”. They couldn’t help themselves, they HAD to villainize the normal sharks too because god forbid a carnivore eats meat. How dare the sharks not simply go vegan.

But anyhow a giant shark simply would NOT be in shallow waters like that. There is a reason megafauna are found in the deeps, and the only time we find them in the shallows or on the shore is when they are mega dead. And a giant shark wouldn’t be going after such tiny prey. If it did? It would be going much much tinier than humans. It would be a filter feeder like a whale shark not just a bigass great white.

But then like ya know it made me think of movies like King Kong. And how as a society we have progressively gotten more and more sympathetic towards the giant ape and supposed “maybe those idiots shouldn’t have messed with the king fr”. And he’s now a symbol of Nature fighting back. I think Meg should get the same treatment, I think she’s in the right. I think there’s a reason why sharks in shark movies are so unrealistically vindictive towards humans. I think they heard about shark fin soup, and they’re right to be pissed.