#I freakin' love Patrick (cries)

[moon-the-space-cat]

Back Pgs. 12-16 Next>> Pgs. 20-24 (FINALE) <START>

This is kinda like giving a cat her own mini computer and then taking it away from her.

[farm-witches-fic-recs]

Oh, don’t mind us, we’re just carving up our pumpkins and spiking the apple cider. We’ve been busy preparing some spooky treats for the little goblins and ghouls around town. Lil’ Rollie’s costume is supposed to be a real showstopper this year from what we’ve heard.

We hope you sit back and enjoy these community recs from our farm witch friends with some of your favorite candies and leave the authors some love!

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Feels like home (@thegrayness) **RPF**  “In this absolutely lovely fic, Dan is a novelist whose research on small towns puts him in close proximity with the charming Noah. Complete with Hallmark vibes and just the right amount of pining, this fic is perfect for anyone looking to get in their holiday feels. It's sweet, fun, and absolutely worth a read (or two)!!”

Fifteen hundred miles (morehuman) “This is the one that started it all for me. The one I stumbled upon after falling down a Schitt’s Creek internet rabbit hole and found myself on AO3. The one that made me fall in love with this concept of taking characters that I had fallen in love with and placing them in different situations and have it work. It showed me there were all these people in the world creating unique, compelling and brilliantly written stories. This is my favorite fic for so many reasons, but mostly because of everything it brought to me. New friends, a renewed love of reading, along with reawakening my own creativity. I know it’s already well-known and well-loved but I felt the need to share how much it means to me.”

Halloween whiskey (@missgeevious) “A fine Halloween fic. I love the way this writer is so concise, creating this little gem with nary a wasted word. A tight 5K that's both sweet and scorching hot. Come for Patrick's "do-over" in the beginning, linger for the intense heat in the middle, and leave with the image of Patrick's adjusted costume firmly planted in your brain.”

Into a million pieces (rosieboo98) “This is one of my go to fics when I am looking to read angst. It brings me to tears every time. But then it gives our boys their happy ending. I really appreciate the fact that once they get their happy ending, the story does not end. Instead, the author gives a few chapters of them building their new relationship after it has been so broken.  Highly recommend if you need a good angst with happy endings!”

Language of Love (pandorasdaydream) “If you’ve ever wondered what happened between the episodes, these series are for you. Such attention to detail and explanations for David and Patrick’s thoughts and behaviors. I loved exploring this series.”

The last first kiss - a series of alternate first kisses (poutini/@cheesecurdsgravyandfries) “This piece eighteen alternate “last first kisses” that all take place before the S3:13 grad night kiss we all know and love, hits a bit differently. It’s soft, sweet, funny, and a wonderful bit of evidence that David and Patrick will be together in every universe- sometimes sooner than you’d think. 11/10 would read again and again and again— and you should too!”

Smoke gets in your eyes (@this-will-be-our-year) “This Mad Men (remix) AU is freakin gold!!! Its set in the 60s yet its SO David & Patrick. I cried, laughed, and fell in love with the characters. I'm not even kidding when I say that a fluffy sequel where we see them as "husbands" or a present time fast forward where they marry legally is in my DAILY MANIFESTATIONS. So, so good!” 

Stab: The Elmsboro Murders (@dinnfameron) “I am assuming that everyone knows the quintessential October fic “My Heart is Like a Haunted House” by dinnfameron, so I don’t need to tell you to go read that. Right? Okay, well, after that one, check out another seasonally appropriate one by the same author, “Stab: The Elmsboro Murders.” You’ll love this flirty, lighthearted meet-cute based on a slasher movie. Dinnfameron is such a clever wordsmith—weaving together canon lines in unexpected ways, capturing the tone of a detective story, and including plenty of affectionate and true-to-character banter. The point of view alternates, and the parts in journalist David’s head are particularly fun and sweet. So don’t be scared of this little horror fic. It might kill you, but only in the best, most metaphorical ways.”

[calliecat93]

ST: The Next Generation S4 Watchthrough Episodes 2-5

Family: I fully expected the episode after the whole Borg thing would just be another typical episode that maybe brought it up, but otherwise be business as usual. Thank God that they didn’t go that route. This was the follow-up needed, a calmer, more introspective episode. No aliens. No politics or social issues. No heavy action. Just a cool-down, character-driven episode to let the audience breathe and allow character development. Picard of course is the big plot, going back to France (is this a joke because Patrick Stewart is British?) to reconnect with his family and deal with the trauma of the Borg assimilation. Robert is kind of an ass… but he does care about Picard and does ultimately help him open up about the trauma. Seriously, Patrick Stewart’s acting in that scene? 100% perfect. I like his sister-in-law and nephew as well and I liked finally seeing Earth outside a Starfleet base/an area not technologically advanced. We also met Worf’s adopted parents! While they’re a little much, they clearly love Worf, did their best to adjust in properly raising a Klingon child, and I’m just glad to see some actual competent/caring parents in something. Crusher and Wesley’s plot isn’t much… but not gonna lie, if my mom hadn’t been in the room I’d have likely cried. Wesley watching the hologram of his deceased dad… while Wil Wheaton’s acting was a little underwhelming… yeah God that hit far too close. My dad died three years ago and I still get choked up about it sometimes. And when Crusher was going through Jack’s belongings and picking up his uniform? Just… damn. I’m so glad to see an episode that just… lets the characters develop and grow without having to add a whole bunch of melodrama or an over-complicated plot or anything like that. It’s about family, and it was freakin’ perfect. 5/5.

Brothers: Well… I should have seen this coming eventually. Lore is back folks. Oh but it’s not just him. After three seasons, we finally meet the infamous Dr. Soong. Guess this is why Data wasn’t in the last episode, his family issues needed one all their own. So first… Brent Spiner deserves every freakin’ acting Emmy ever because he played all three of these characters. Yep, all three at the same time in the same episode. And he plays all three with great distinction and character and… the man is freakin’ good. The whole episode was just… damn. The first half where Data essentially hijacks everything.. yeah if Data ever went evil, everyone would be screwed. That was legit horrifying… though why they left Data alone on the bridge when something was clearly wrong with him I’ll never know. As for Dr. Soong himself… I’m not sure how to feel about him. Oh as a character he’s great. Brent Spiner really put a lot into him. I’m just not sure whether to call him out or feel bad for him… but maybe that’s part of the point. And Lore? Well… while he’s certainly evil… I actually felt bad for him? I can’t blame him for being angry and resentful because… yeah him being deactivated/disassembled while Data got to live out a life and shown clear favoritism is very understandable. He truly feels like the angry older brother whole Data is the younger, more inquisitive brother not quite sure what to think. Soong does seem to regret decommissioning Lore, especially now that he’s dying (which Lore’s actual emotional reaction… it was possibly an act but IDT it was, again excellent work by Brent Spiner), and it does feel like he summoned the two (even if Lore was unintentional since he didn’t know he’d been reassembled) to make some form of amends, but IDK if it’s legit regret or some form of ego. It really feels open to interpretation or perhaps a mix of both. Despite that, Soong being killed by Lore who escapes with the emotion chip not designed for him implanted to wreak havoc again in the future… yeah him accepting that it’s over and his and Data’s goodbye with Data calling him ‘father’… again, just perfect. This whole episode was perfect, Event the subplot with the two kids was done well and served as a good parallel to the Data and Lore situation. Those two were able to forgive… but I don’t think it will be that simple for Data. I’m still hoping that Data gets happy things later (WHEN DOES HE GET HIS KITTY?! I WANT HIM TO GET HIS KITY!), but still a fantastic episode. 5/5.

Suddenly Human: So in this episode, we have a human boy who was raised by an alien culture known as the Talarians. Due to being raised among them, he acts and views himself as a Talarian moreso than he does a human. Well… that’s certainly an interesting episode topic. It’s kind of like with Worf, a Klingon, having been raised by humans, albeit they did try to keep his Klingon heritage intact as much as they could. I think that this may be the first tme we’ve had a human being raised in an alien culture? Spock may have kinda counted, but he was half-Vulcan, half-human, and still had both parents so that’s still a different situation compared to someone born and raised human until his parents died and was taken into the very group that caused their deaths. I guess the title character in Charlie X back during TOS may have also counted, which I do get similar vibes from especially the whole ‘captain super awkwardly stepping up as a father figure against his will’ part… albeit I feel more sympathetic towards Jono than Charlie who went thoroughly power-mad, plus Charlie very clearly didn’t want to go back to the aliens. Jono just wants to go home. Honestly… IDK how to feel about the situation. I get wanting to have Jono connect to his human roots and being concerned about him being among the Talarians who have a… rather ruthless, very patriarchal lifestyle. However, the man who took him in does genuinely love him and it does seem like he’s been accepted into their world and he’s content with that. It’s where I get the crew’s concerns and while a little too excessive Crusher’s concern about Stockholm Syndrome does make sense somewhat… but I’m also like ‘this is his choice, if that is what he wishes then grant it to him.” . Trying to make him get in touch with his roots as though they know what’ best for him when they absolutely don’t, no matter how well-intentioned… yeah don’t agree with that. Even if he has remaining family on Earth, then as sad as it is, he gets to make that choice for his life no matter what the consequences may be. IDK is they intended to bring up the moral complexity of these kinds of situations because there are solid arguments that you can make for all sides here, but I do think it’s there and is very much a relevant topic in today’s world. I’m very much on the ‘make the choice for yourself and allow one to make that choice’ opinion. Allow them to learn about their heritage and the truth about how they ended up where they did, and let them decide what they’d like for themselves/how they’d like to lead their lives. Ultimately that’s what Jono did. He understands what happened and he finally expresses missing his parents and the trauma he endured due to it… but he also chose to remain with his adopted father and those who raised him, but maybe now more open in getting in touch with his Earth/human heritage. IDK if it was the right or wrong choice, but it was his choice. 4/5.

Remember Me: 🎶Though I have to say goodbye. Remember me, don't let it make you cry.🎶 Sorry, the Disney/Pixar nerd in me required me to do that XD Okay in all seriousness... guys they did it! They made an episode centering on a female character (Dr. Crusher) aND IT WAS ACTUALLY GOOD! So we have huge chunks of the crew disappearing and everyone’s memories of them wiped… except for Dr. Crusher. So… I won’t go into the plot twist here. Like with The Survivors it is really something I’d rather not spoil. But damn, I already liked Dr. Crusher… but this made me love her. The poor woman keeps questioning her sanity because of all the disappearances/memory gaps. To everyone else, nothing is out of place. To her? Everything is breaking down. I do like that the crew does listen to her and take her fears seriously. No one questions her going insane, Troi even telling her that if she thinks that something is wrong, then she’s acting as she should. Even when it’s only Crusher and Picard, despite clearly getting tired of it… Picard still listens to her and trusts her word. With how in both this and TNG they sometimes have dropped in common sense, it’s just so nice to see them treat this situation seriously and carefully and not act like Crusher is just a hysterical woman. Which she is not. While she understandably is freaked out and upset, she acts competently and intelligently especially when it’s only her left. Again, without spoiling anything, the way she gets out of it shows just how freakin’ awesome she is. Just an overall really good episode and Thank God that Dr. Crusher finally got the focus that she deserved. Sorry Pulaski, but them ditching you was worth it for this~! 4.5/5.

Wow we are off to an excellent start! Brothers may be my favorite episode in the whole show thus far. Much more to go, so hopefully the quality remains consistent. We shall see~!

[rideofbrunhelga]

nycc recap!

OK.

so now I'm on my computer finally ( I slept most of the day lmao ) so lemme give a rundown on my nycc experience!

thursday:

So. I got a SUPER late start because I barely slept this week due to work stress and just general stress about getting a bunch of stuff done prior to leaving for NY. I drove to Hamilton station in NJ and was told that their overnight parking was full so I had to drive to Trenton. Then I think because I was so in a tailspin just trying to get there when I was already running behind, I missed the train and had to wait for the next one. I got into NY around 2:30. I was meeting my BFF and she thought I wasn't getting in until 2:45ish so I waited for her outside MSG at Penn Station for a bit.

So, we finally made it to the con around 3:15 and it was packed. I couldn’t even believe it (this was both our first con). But right when we walked in, the shrine with spongebob pineapple was at the entrance and I got emotional (I was also tired so emotions were running high) but there was a huge line. Not for the shrine, but to meet Spongebob and Patrick who were basically in front of the shrine. The guy told us they would be leaving soon so we decided to come back later.

We walked around for a bit, we got a pic with BB-8. They explicitly told us not to touch him. And then after our pic I subconsciously used him to pull myself up LMFADJSAKLDJAKDJA. omfg the girl looked like she was ready to murder me but it was a complete accident the second I did it I was like OMG I’m so sorry. and I HIGH TAILED IT THE HECK OUTTA THERE.

While we were walking (by the way I felt like I couldn’t even stop to look at things because people were EVERYWHERE you felt like you had to keep moving), we saw Kevin Smith. I didn’t know who he was and I was standing right next to him and this guy ran up to him to get a selfie and he was like “thanks man it means a lot” I was like “who is this guy?” lmfao. Then I noticed there was security and the one said “he can’t take anymore pictures he’s on a tight schedule.” and my friend then realize it was Kevin Smith hahahahaha. Then we headed back to the shrine and spent a good half hour there. NO one was taking pictures with it. I have no idea why because it was so neat. The people at the Nickelodeon booth didn’t care that we were just like having a full on photoshoot with it so that was cool. 

We went outside and there was this Jigsaw escape room and we’re like “oh yay fun” but the girl was like “we’re closed for the day” so :(. Oh well. We bought overpriced drinks and sat on the floor for awhile to decompress before we met up with our other bff for dinner. 

We then had dinner at this ramen place on the upper west side. It was fun except so bizarre. This woman tripped over my friends chair, fell to the floor and for like 45 min she refused to get up from the floor. The owner looked panicked and kept asking to call the ambulance and she was screaming “NO!” “NO!” like 500x making a HUGE scene. She wouldn’t get up and was just sitting there. Someone eventually called an ambulance because like wtf? If you don’t think you can get up you can’t just sit on the floor of a restaurant the whole night? People were so uncomfortable and trying not to laugh because she was being so dramatic lmfao. When the EMTs came they basically were like “lady we’ve been doing this for years, your shoulder is not dislocated and we need to get you off the floor” so finally that was that. Then we went to have gelato and they made mine into a really beautiful flower I was like omg?? Then I went back to my friend’s apartment and we watched AHS: Cult which I think I cannot watch another episode of because it was so traumatic. 

friday

I woke up around 7. Took a shower and got ready for the panel. I knew I wanted to get there around 9 because I planned to sit through the first panel. In line I met two girls from the Facebook group and they were so sweet and so fun. We all sat together and managed to get front row. I’m not sure HOW that happened but I think it’s because the rows behind us were reserved so people assumed our row was (it wasn't). so that was so good! Especially considering I think I was in the first 100 people at Hammerstein and still managed front row. 

This girl and DJ were hyping the crowd and then the first panel started. It was for both Amazon’s Man in the High Castle and Electric Dreams shows, both Phillip K. Dick works. It was cool. It would’ve been cooler if Bryan Cranston was there but Liam Cunningham from GOT was there and Rufus Sewell. 

Finally that ended (lmfao). I swear. 85% of that crowd was there just for Arnold. There was 45 min in between panels. It got a lot more crowded for Arnold. The DJ was spinning some 90s tracks and people were dancing in the aisles lmfao. The hype girl then brought some people on the stage, one of them in Helga cosplay ( she was AMAZING, she was stomping around like Helga too we all were cracking up ) and two 14 yr old girls in Arnold apparel. She asked them how they got into Hey Arnold! since they were so young, and the one girl said from watching The Splat and we all cheered. The other girl was like “it’s a long story” I was like ok I guess? Then we played a game where the DJ played like two seconds of a 90s cartoon theme and the audience had to guess what it was. I also got another Arnold hat that they were giving away. 

FINALLY it was 12:15 and the panel began. 

It was hosted by Keely Flaherty (sp?) from BuzzFeed. She was cute. They started playing the music and introducing everyone. Everyone got a huge reception, especially Craig and Franny. I was freaking out. I started getting choked up the moment I saw Craig LMFAO. The audience was going NUTS. They spoke about doing the show all those years ago and if they remembered their first auditions (Toran revealed he didn’t originally audition for Arnold, he possibly auditioned for Stinky but wasn’t sure). Craig said they were doing the auditions where they made Ren and Stimpy. Then they discussed each of their characters at length. Craig noted he voiced all the animals including Abner, lol. Anndi also talked about how she was competitive like Phoebe, and tried to join Boy Scouts as a kid. 

It was revealed that Toran was playing a character of Che, who is Olga’s love interest in the film. We saw the character lineups that we’ve seen before as well as some new ones. Everyone was laughing with Rhonda’s newly revealed jungle outfit. Craig said she Rhonda is going to have a hard time in the jungle. Olivia was like “Thanks Craig. Do you hate me or something?” lmfao. 

They were showing new stills and every time a new one was shown the audience oooh’d and ahhh’d. Craig then introduced the trailer and I died. I really fricken died. I was a mess. The girls I was sitting with were choking up too. When the lights went back up, Franny looked over at Anndi with her hand over her mouth like she was ready to cry and they hugged each other, Anndi started crying. Most of us stood up and clapped and cheered. I CRIED EVEN MORE. Craig was like “let’s play it one more time!” and we all cheered lmao. So we watched it again, and I caught things the second time around I for some reason didn’t notice the first time. We then had a Q&A.

The one girl I was sitting with asked a really great question about if Craig incorporated any of the technology and animation styles from Dinosaur Train and Ready Jet Go into TJM. He seemed impressed by the question. People asked about Mr. Simmons sexuality, Gertie’s role in the film, Phoebe x Gerald, so on and so forth. Some people just complimented Craig on things that they loved about the show. There were a couple weird moments. Someone asked Craig how it felt when the first movie didn’t do well leading the series cancellation...I was like ??????? He then got up from his seat and was like “WELL AT LEAST WE’RE GETTING THE JUNGLE MOVIE NOW!” and we all cheered :D

SADLY the panel came to an end and I started crying again. It was so much fun. I can’t even express it properly here. The vibe in there was awesome and everyone was so excited and happy. They were taking a group picture on the stage and people then rushed up to the stage to shake Craig’s hand like a freakin rockstar (I have pics of it). It was so funny. He was like “guys I have to get off the stage” lmao. 

I then had a couple hours to kill between the panel and the signing so I headed over to Javits. It was MOBBED. I wasn’t sure how it could be worse than yesterday but it was lmao. I saw amazzzzzing cosplay. My phone was dying and my portable charger was drained but I was like whatever we can’t take pics at the autograph session anyway (which apparently was not enforced -_-) I sat for awhile and calmed my nerves down and then realized I had no idea where the signing was since it wasn’t clear in my email. I asked so many people and staff and NO ONE knew. I finally found it in the corner of the Autographing area. I saw the one 14 yr “it’s a long story” girl hanging around there and I was like “is this the line for Arnold?” and she was like “Yeah, but it’s for lottery winners ONLY.” I was like ‘I know I have a ticket.’ and she shot me this weird look and was like “You’re lucky.” LISTEN HONEY, YOU WEREN’T EVEN BORN WHEN THIS SERIES ENDED I’VE WAITED TOO LONG FOR THIS don’t sass your elders like that!

I got in line. I was pretty okay waiting. I realized Lucius Malfoy from Harry Potter and Pornstache from OITNB were doing signings at the booth next to us lmao. Finally the cast came out and I was okay, totally calm. Then I was up next and my heart started beating out of my fricken chest lord have mercy.

I can’t tell you everything because I feel like I blacked out a portion of it lmao. Craig was the first person you go up to. I said “Hi Craig.” and he said “Hi! What’s you’re name?” I said Andrea and he asked me to spell it. Then I was like “It’s really so nice to meet you.” he asked me if I watched the show growing up and I as like ?!?!??!?!?!@!@PUQIOERDuwqajdJALSDJAKLD YES. I told him how I made a petition when I was 11 and mailed it to Nickelodeon. He got a kick out of that and asked if I sent to the 1515 New York address, which I do remember was the address I had at that time. He’s like “so maybe in a way you influenced this” I was like, “I hope so!” and he asked me if I went to the panel and I was like ALDJASLKDJAKLJLK YES. I told him how the energy in the room changed once the first panel was over. I was like, “IT WAS COOL AND ALL BUT WHEN IT ENDED THE ENERGY CHANGED” and he loved that and said he heard the hollering from the audience backstage and asked the staff what the audience was cheering for and she said it was for them and he couldn’t believe it! I told him that it really meant so much to me to that this was happening. I told him I was beyond thrilled for him and couldn’t wait. He thanked me and I really felt like he meant it. He was sooooo nice and so interested in what I had to say. Franny was next to him and I said “Hi Francesca, so nice to meet you” And she asked how I pronounced my name and such. I told her I was like “I don’t know if you remember but a few years ago I emailed you about doing a paper on Helga.” She was like “YEs!” And I thanked for her for taking the time to do that and giving such great answers. She asked me if I graduated college, what I majored in, what I was doing now, what the class was for, etc. Like, me? Let’s talk about you? Then I spoke with Anndi, who asked if I would consider shortening my name to hers lol. She was very very sweet and warm and beautiful in person. I think I blurted something stupid to her and Olivia at the same time about Instagram like, “you guys are so cool!” LMAOOO. What a moron. 

Anyway they all were incredible and down to earth, they seemed just as excited to meet us as we were to meet them. Olivia asked if I went to the panel, and Anndi said “She was in the front row!” I think they asked this because prob some of the lottery winners were not even fans lmao. 

I’m missing some detail because like I said, I feel like I blacked out aldkjasdjasdkl, but it was AWESOME. The whole day was just so fun. It was beyond my expectations. The trailer was incredible - I really am so stoked now. Like, the movie looks so fun and action packed. I am so glad I decided to go because it was really something I will remember and hold close to me the rest of my life. I wish we could all have a screening to watch the movie together because it was too fun being in that room with all the fans experiencing that collectively. I am so grateful for the experience, and to be apart of such an incredible fandom that has such a wonderful cast and creator behind it. I could not ask for better. I feel so lucky.

I love you guys! I hope you enjoyed my coverage on ig story. I’m gonna image dump on here soon from my experience. I’m so excited, we are so close and it’s all feeling real now!

[wannabe-cartoonist-blog]

Reactions to Official SBM Recordings

A bit spoiler-y if you haven't seen the show or listened to the new recordings of the songs. So proceed with caution.

ACT 1

Intro/Bikini Bottom Day

-here we goooooo

-ahhhhh ze narrator

-love how they include sb's foghorn alarm, just gonna say that

-award goes to Ethan for the cutest yAWN

-ethan is using such a soft tone of voice and it's honestly perfect

-"meow"

-the shoe squeaks!!

-the laugh was a little weaker than other performances but I'll let it slide cause he's so cute

-I thought it was "where the sun shines down" not "when" but apparently not

-MY BOI PATRICK STAR

-"oOOO OOOO I want a verse!!!"

-I love the difference between his singing voice and the Patrick Voice (tm)

-the chorus harmonizing in the bg

-sQUIDY

-Gavin Lee sounds a little strange...like Squidward sounds like he could't care less about anything and is so resigned to his loud neighbors

-which...he is....but he sounds off idk. Still a good performance tho

-like with Pat, there's a distinction between his singing voice and speaking voice

-he sounds good though but not like the live performances....idk if that's good or bad

-the fart noise strikes again

-RIGHT INTO SANDY'S PART

-love the country track

-she sounds so nice 10/10

-that "daaaaAYYYYY" 10000/10

-they didn't include the explosion or like all of the dialogue that follows it but I like it. Keeps the flow of the song going

-KRABS

-THE WALKING NOISE

-plankton's voice is so deep and smooth, I love it

-KAREN'S "forever" WAS MADE TO SOUND COMPUTERIZED THAT WAS A REAL NICE TOUCH

-"CLeeeeeveeeeerr" melted butter

-I love krabs, Karen, and plankton singing together

-Squidward is so depressed 10/10

-pearls deep voice is 10000/10

-spongey sounds so sad after being shot down, perfection

-"everyone would say GOOD MORNING MR. SQUAREPANTS"

-the CHORUS!!!!!!

-I freaking love this song

-it captures the town so perfectly

-they finish the song without being interrupted by the volcano, very nice choice

No Control

-the panic

-Perch Perkins could punch me in the face and I would thank him

-velvet voice. Pure velvet.

-sandy, sponge, pat, sandy, THE BABIES

-all of krab's parts sounds much better than the live versions, not gonna lie

-smooth-voiced plankton once again. He and perch need a duet but I think I'd actually melt from it

-kAREN

-I love the bg singing, heck yeah

-"the end. Is. Coming!"

-spongey

-ETHAN'S "WOOOOOH" OMG I WASNT READY

-there are 3 ticks instead of 2, that's interesting

-David Bowie did a really good job with this. So sad he didn't get the hear the finished product.

-Thank you, David Bowie. Rest In Peace.

B.F.F.

-oh, boy I'm ready

-that cute acoustic sound oh yes

-classic Plain White Ts

-I love how they remember that spongebob wears glasses sometimes 1000/10

-their voices compliment each other so well wow

-I love pat's singing voice, did I mention?

-the best friend dance part kills me every time

-the instrumental bit 1000/10

-"feeling good" part literally knocked the breath out of me

-"you're my best friend forever!"

-"B.F.F that stands for"

"Spongebob and Patrick" <33333

When the Going Gets Tough

-"give me some muuuusic, Karen"

-KAREN IS PERFECTION

-"exCUSE ME?"

-"e-he-he"

-this sounds so freaking cool

-for the 700th time, I love plankton's voice

-the sponge rap!!!!

-"you've got one day left go home and pack"

-plankton changes his tone slightly near the middle/end and I almost had a heart attack cause it sounded so good

-they included the krabs and plankton interaction about the sleeves, good choice

-"I'm a one-celled organism...I don't even HAVE sleeeeVES."

-the MAYOR!!!!

(Just A) Simple Sponge

-I've listened to this about 100000 times already

-but I'll do this anyway

-again, Ethan always sounds so pure

-he really nails the innocence of sb

-the bg chorus is fantastic

-I love all the references in this song

-Brendan Urie did a great job

-I really love how this song is in reference to krabs' opinion of sb. That's always been a really cool relationship dynamic

-sb is like a son to krabs and krabs is kinda a father figure? (I know sb has a dad but) sb is always looking to krabs for approval and when he looses it he gets real down (the second movie has a cool nod to this; "you were like an underpaid son to me")

-all these artists could've just written songs that these characters could sing, but they all wrote songs that these characters would sing. They all really nail the characters and I’m so grateful for that.

-the last note is so damn powerful I love ethan slater

Daddy Knows Best

-this song always sounds good

-love how pearl made sure to always keep her voice deep

-"money, money" that's 100% pure Eugene Krabs

-LOVE THE CONTRAST BETWEEN PEARL'S SINGING AND SPEAKING VOICE

-opposite of Patrick's

-she sings so softly

-THE BEAUTIFUL SCREECHES OF "DADDY"

-I love Krabs

-the cries

-"DADDDDDDYYYYYYYYY"

"MONNNNNEYYYYYY"

Hero Is My Middle Name

-spongey, I love you

-this song is such a cute bop

-it's so 80s, thanks Cindy Lauper

-"yeahH"

-"mine's Jennifer" was included heck yeah

-the slide whistle sound

-WHEN THEY SING TOGETHER

-"alriiight!"

-the way sandy says "courage" and "myyyyyy middle name" I love

-"us go!"

-love the instruments at the end

-the bandstand-y type music for when Pat dances, SO GOOD

SuperStar Seastar Savior

-this is one of those songs I didn't really care for live

-but MY GOD ITS AMAZING AS A RECORDING

-LISTEN TO THOSE HARMONIES

-it really does sound gospel-y

-pATRICK

-he sounds so pure "my new friends"

-"does anybody bake?"

-GOD HE SOUNDS SO GOOD

-THE TWANG

-"ME"

-"uh, I dunno"

-"figARO"

-the wrestling announcer towards the end

-"y'all praise pink!"

-the explosion what a perfect way to end it

Tomorrow Is

-lili, slay me

-oO the shift!!!

-the sb and sandy harmony yes very good

-squidy still sounds a little strange but I love him

-krabs always on point

-"oooo"

-god, plankton's voice is velvet

-"victoryyyyy"

-spongey boy, god, he's so hurt by Pat im crying

-tHE CHORUS

-bikini bottom day reprise, I'm in actual tears

-gOD

ACT II

Poor Pirates

-another one I didn't care for live

-but the recording captures it so much better

-it just sounds so different

-the KAZOO

-"en-c-i-n-o"

-"h-winds in our earrings"

"don'tcha know pirates have feelings?"

-"p-o-o-rrrrrrr people too"

-bg guy who says "we've too many too gold teeth"

-I really really love this

-"the BLOOMIN ONION"

-Talk Like A Pirate Day is now a fully international holiday idc what anyone has to say

-god, the instrumentation is on point

-Sara Bareilles did an amazing job (listen to some of the songs from The Waitress if you like her stuff. She wrote for and stared in that too. "She Used To Be Mine" is amazing)

Bikini Bottom Boogie

-okay, this also sounds better than it was live

-that guitar, man

-really does sound like a good ol' rock ballad

-nice job, Aerosmith

-IM FEELING IT ALRIGHT

-"rad, gnarly, and tIGHT"

-"kiss my JELLYFISH"

-what a freakin bop

-yEAH

Chop To the Top

-the banjo oh yes yes yes

-I'm in love with it already

-tHE FIDDLE

-sandy is so pure

-"keep it moving don't stop till you drop" that's new I love it

-sPONGY YOU CAN DO IT

-"way" the TWANG HAS PASSED ON TO SB NOW

-F THIS IS THE REAL BOP

-pURE TOO PURE

-LILI, GOD YOURE KILLING ME

-ehem, yes this was fantasic. 

-Great job, Lady Antebellum

(I Guess I) Miss You

-oh boi, here we go feels

-just imaging John Legend writing this while playing piano while Chrissy Teegan watches on in the bg is hilarious to me

-pat, my boy I'm in tears

-the "I"s in this song are good no matter how you're listening to it

-sponge is so HURT

-"nobody can make me laugh like you" :((((((

-the har-mon-iES

-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-e-I'm in pain

-"bring my sunshine back again" the sad twang :,((((((((((((((((((

-nobody talk to me for a month I need to recover

I'm Not a Loser

-the piano, oh yes

-he's really doing the nasally thing

-it works tho

-he sounds much more put together and sure of himself than live, yet not, if that makes sense???? Gavin Lee gave it a different performance and I give him props

-the CRYING

-"huha?"

-*monotone* "this is weird"

-*just going with it* "okay"

-"look at me now mama!"

-okay, this is just my opinion but I think squidy just sounds better live???

-"I'm not a loooossar"

-the "stay at home" girl is always great

-"hey. Shhhhst."

Best Day Ever

-oh, we're here already omg

-pure sponge boy, pure

-I still get all choked up when the "best day ever" tune starts

-he sounds so SWEET

-sandy chiming in

-Pat joining heck yeah, yeah

-"dum, dum, dum, dum"

-really like how they changed "just tying my shoe" in the tv show version to "just being with you"

-I LOVE WHEN THE CHORUS COMES IN EVERY NOW AND THEN

-the Elvis impersonation is always great

-that bg girl after Squidward comes in? Amazing.

-"this is it, everyone" IM GONNA DIE

-this is so soft and so dark

-the soft countdown that gets more and more scared omg

Bikini Bottom Day Reprise

-the ukelele gets me every time

-it's the perfect instrument for sb

-"busy day" I'LL SAY

-I love everything about this

-Mr krabs?? I forgot he had a line in this?? Did he ever??? I LIKE IT

-the cymbals, play it pearl yes yes

-Pearl, you're killing it

-"a simple sponge can be handy when you're cleaning up spills" omg

-"sometimes you need a hero with some management skills" squidy that was such an amazing thing to say

-"hey there, that's me" it sure is, my son. It sure is.

-I LOVE BIKINI BOTTOM DAY JUST SO YOU KNOW

-the ending, the ENDING OMG

-"meow" I LOST IT

-the crazy instruments all at once, god it's great

-everyone in this town is a child

The SpongeBob SquarePants Theme/Closing

-*HEADBANGS*

-oMGGGGGGGGGGG

-THIS IS THE THEME REDUAL I NEEDED AND DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT

-THE GUITAR AT THE END

-well, I'm in tears and throwing all my money at this show

-and you should too

-also congrats if you made it this far with me on this incredible journey of pain, references, and fluffy feelings

[bazzicato]

TAGGY THING ABOUT MOI (or toi)

Hey yo I was tagged by @bazyounumpty (My absolute bae Name: Rebecca - or Becca or Bex etc (but if you call me Becky I will fucking slice you open) First time you read carry on: Umm sometime around late November... (27th? 28th?) It was the day after one of my friend's birthday party and I'd stayed round ma bae Llama's ( @bazyounumpty ) the day before and we'd exchanged books (carry on being one of them). I started to read it the day I got home from the party and fuck man I could not put it down (I kinda had a bunch of homework the next day buuuuut I was too into the book. I finished it the same day lol) Times you've reread it since then: Hahahahahahaha lemme count hang on...... Idk like 4/5 times..? That's not including the number of times I've reread chapter 61/62 and fished through for quotes though... I honestly get so caught up in books that I love and reread them so often (THANKS NAOMI FOR BEING A FAB FRIEND AND GETTING ME MY OWN COPY FOR CHRISSYMAS SO I COULD REREAD IT) (and sorry Llama for rereading carry on instead of reading those Patrick Ness books I'll get started on those promise) Written any fanfiction/created any art?: I have indeeeed - one *cough* shit *cough* fan fiction and two fanarts (all for the countdown lol my fave fanart is my profile pic, a Dan and Phil crossover *cries*). I've also composed a theme for Baz on piano (my pride and joy man) and there could possibly be some sheet music soon... ;) Favourite character: Come on man Baz. B. A. Z. I composed a theme for him. I love him. He's my child. (I have many children tho, but Baz is ranked pretty high on the list I gotta say) Least favourite character: The Mage fucked me off right from the beginning tbh like he was such a dick I mean at least TRY to hide that you're an evil, delusional bastard (or be sexy about your evilness, like Loki and Moriarty Most underrated character: Gotta be the numpties. (Sorry I know it's a singular but you know all numpties are kinda the same. Numpties.) I mean, they managed to kidnap our badass son and hold him hostage for like months - while everyone goes on about how stupid they are, at least give them SOME credit that they actually managed to kidnap one of the best Wizard's of the time AND elude his entire family (also all famous and powerful wizards) for months. They can't be as stupid as everyone makes them out to be if they can do as much, right? (Plus they're funny) Initial reaction to chapter 61: I kinda already knew something was gonna happen (wasn't sure what) thanks to Llama freakin' out about it every second lols - but fuck man I didn't quite expect that. I fuckin LOVED it so much - I legit just reread the entire thing a few times before chapter 62 (and then when I read 62 I realised that was awesome too and reread that as well). Favourite quote:Don't do this to me man...... Okay it's between these ones ~ "He smiles and he's made of trouble" ~ "I know Simon and I will always be enemies.. But I thought maybe we'd get to a point where we didn't want to be." ~ "I give them some of my nothing and they're drawn to the biggest of all somethings. Then you give me more of your nothing." ^ Probs the last one actually. Idk the way is worded just makes it feel like it means so much more, even with the use of 'nothing' - it's unique..? Yah that's it anyways - I'll tag @crookedraven @classy-sassy-cassy-assy @indigoocean anddd @peacekeeperaqua cuz you're all fab

[hey-i-wrote-a-story]

Chapter 5 Juan and Patrick’s Run

           The two jogging boys who had caught Freddie’s earlier eye rounded a sweeping curve in the trail well ahead of the conversing duo.  They had been doing an impressive job of keeping pace with each other, but now one was clearly pulling ahead, or rather, one was falling behind.

           “Alright, alright!”, he panted. “Time! Break! Peace! I give.” He leaned forward, bracing himself with his palms on his knees, gasping for breath. His deeply tanned skin gleamed with perspiration as the sunlight hit it. That perspiration stuck his thin, sleeveless tank top to his body like glue. His name was Juan, and he was not accustomed to running, or exercise in general. “How the hell do you do this every day??”

           His companion circled around from his position further up the trail and jogged back to the panting lad. He kept running in place as he came up alongside him. “How can you not?”, his friend asked. His friend seemed genuinely happy to be out on a run, mostly because he was. He was doubly so to be sharing one of his favorite activities with Juan. He raised his thick eyebrows as he smirked, an annoying trait at best, and then ran slender fingers through his thick auburn hair. He was Patrick Francis O’Donnell, his name as Irish as his features implied. But he was Patty to everyone who knew him, particularly to Juan.

           Juan gasped. “Oh, I promise you, it is really easy to not do this every day. You should try it.” He tried to stand up, gasped, found he had no voice, and raised one finger. Gimme a second. Juan’s hands went back to his knees and he panted some more. The perspiration flowing freely from his brow sprinkled the ground beneath him. After a moment, he looked up again, still unable to stand but able to see his running partner clear as day. Patrick was still running in place, now with a big smile on his face. Not a drop of sweat on him. He was fresh as a daisy. You could still smell the fragrance of the fabric softener on his running shorts. After another couple minutes staring at the ground, the exhausted Juan was able to stagger to a somewhat upright position. Another ten or twenty seconds, and he could speak again.

           “You really suck, you know that?”

           Patrick just smiled wider, and kept running in place. “So are you officially surrendering? Next time we go out, you pay?”

           “Yeah, yeah”, came the concession, with the wave of a hand. “I pay.”

           “Including if we go out after. Movies, a club, bar, whatever—you cover everything.”

           “Okay, okay, I will be your sugar daddy on that yet-to-be specified occasion. Now will you stop bouncing around before I throw up from just watching you?”

           The vibrant young athlete stopped running in place. He took a few steps toward his companion and offered an arm to steady him. “You going to be okay?”

           “I think I’m dying, my insides caving in or something, but other than that I should be fine.”

           “It sounds like your condition is desperate”, the smiling runner said. “You need mouth to mouth.”  With that, Patrick grabbed his companion by the straps of his soggy tank top and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Caught off guard, the spent Juan resisted at first, but then melted into the kiss and welcomed it. About a minute later, their lips separated. “All better now?”

           “Not all the way, but I’m getting there.”

           His boyfriend smiled a brilliant smile and took his lover by the hand. “C’mere, I want to show you something.” Patrick pulled Juan off the trail and over a couple crests in the woods, scattering dead leaves and wildflowers in their wake.

           “Patty, slow down! You’re gonna pull my arm out of my socket! Are you a freakin’ machine, or what?”

           “We’re almost there”, Patty assured him without looking back. He leapt over the next small crest, throwing his arm around Juan to steady him as they scampered down to the bottom.

           “Oh”, Juan observed, wheezing, “a lot of trees and leaves. Thank the Lord we rushed to get or we would have missed it. You give my best to the trees. I’m gonna die now, m’kay?”

           Juan made as if to topple over, but Patty caught his arm. “You’ll wanna be standing for this.”

           His boyfriend was now whining like a little kid, “Whhhyyy--?” His sense of humor was at a very low ebb.

           Patty propped him up against his bare chest and said, “Trust me.” Then they stood there for a few silent moments. Nothing happened.

           “Well?”, Juan asked. “What exactly are we waiting fo--?”

           Patty held up his hand. “Wait for it.” After another moment’s silence, a gentle breeze began to blow through the leaves of the trees. “Here it comes…”, Patty said softly.

           “Her what com—“, but Juan’s question was cut short as he saw what Patty had made him wait for.

           The air came alive with a shower of blossoms. Fuzzy little puffballs or leaves and seed tumbled gently down from the branches high above them, surrounding them in a flurry of fragrance and beauty.

           “Patty, what?” Patty pointed upward. Juan looked up to see that the uppermost branches of two trees closest to them were filled with new blossoms and budding leaves. The wind broke them free of their moorings to send them down upon whomever stood beneath. This time, it was boyfriends Patty and Juan.

           Juan was amazed. “Patty, this is beautiful.”

           “So are you”, patty replied, giving his boyfriend another kiss.

           “Cheeseball”, Juan said.

           “This is the only part of the forest I know of that has this type of tree. This is the only time of year where the buds fall like this. I wanted you to see it.” He smiled again, adding, “I wanted to share it with you.”

           They were both smiling now, as the fluffy offerings whirled around them with the soft breeze, giving the woods a magical quality. Patty peeled off Juan’s soaked tank top and tossed it aside. They pressed their bare chests together, arms entwined around one another, savoring the moment. It didn’t last long.

           “Hey, I love the way the light hits some of these things”, Juan commented.

           “What’s that”, Patty said. He had been smelling his boyfriend’s hair and had missed what Juan had been looking at.

           “Look, the way some of them almost seem to sparkle, or—wait, there’s another one!” The two stepped apart and looked around them. “That’s not a trick of the light”, Juan realized. “Are some of these actually glowing?”

           Patty had no chance to respond. Glowing spheres, a bit larger than the scattered blossoms, began to fall down upon Juan. None drifted near Patty, at least not yet.

           The glowing objects sparkled and gleamed, with a plethora of spiky ridges sticking out all around them. They looked like oversized sand burs, but they floated like milkweed. “These are really pretty”, Juan marveled. “What kind of plants are these?”

           Patty had no idea what he was seeing. “I—I don’t think those are plants”, Patty admitted. The hair began to stand up on the back of his neck.

           “You mean you’ve never seen these before?”, Juan asked, incredulous. “I thought you knew all about this stuff. Then what are they--?”  

           An electric spark shot from one floating sphere to another. They stopped in mid-flight, hovering five feet above the ground, then slowly drifted closer to Juan, circling around him.

           Juan’s mouth fell open. “What the hell?”

           Another cluster of energy spheres bristled and sparked, three of them sharing a tiny lance of electricity between them. Then they too, faster, drifted toward Juan.

           “Patty, get away from them, now!”, Patty cried.

           “How? They’re following me wherever I move!”

           It was true. Whatever the energy spores were, they followed Juan closer and closer, circling him quickly as they began to buzz like angry hornets. Juan swatted at them and tried to bob and weave in an attempt to free himself of them, but it was all for naught. Juan then felt a harsh sting, far worse than any hornet, as one of the spores latched onto his arm. “Oww! Hey!!” Another attached itself to Juan, on his other arm. Then one on his leg. Three onto his shoulder, and more moving in rapidly. “Stop! Get ‘em off’a me!” Contrary to Juan’s outcry, the spores dove onto him, burrowing into his exposed skin, releasing tiny arcs of electricity as it scorched his body and filled the air with the stink of burning flesh.

           “What’s happening?!”, Juan shouted. “Patty, HELP ME!!”

           But Patty was in shock, too terrified to move. His boyfriend had come alive with the buzzing, sparking balls of energy, which were intent on infesting him or taking over his body for whatever reason. The spores ate away at Juan’s running shorts, burning them as they seared them against the boy’s legs. Juan tore at his hair, where a number of the spores had begun to nest, digging deep into his scalp, setting it aflame. Juan cried out in pain, alternately cursing and begging for mercy, but none came. He stumbled forward, toward his boyfriend, his legs now covered in the sizzling spores, his shoes heating up, their rubber soles melting into the ground in bubbling pools to burn the dead leaves to ash on contact.

           Juan’s arms stretched out to Patty, a feeble gesture for rescue his young love was helpless to provide. Juan tried to call to Patty again, but the energy spores were sinking into his cheeks and gouging out his eyes, making coherent speech impossible. All that issued forth from his mouth was the ghoulish, “PpphhuuahhutthHAAYY!”

           Horrified, Patty stumbled backward, tripping over his own feet as the monstrosity that had once been his boyfriend shuffled toward him, body aflame with ravenous energy that consumed his body. If feeding some hunger was the motivation of this angry swarm, it was clearly unsated by the meal of the screaming teenager, even as it forced his withered, smoldering legs toward its next target.

           Patty was screaming at a high pitch, able to form only one word again and again. “Juan! JUAANN!!”

           But Juan was gone. The shambling wreck that moved toward the other boy was quickly disintegrating, while the glowing spores themselves seemed unimpeded. They would continue on even after they had consumed every last bit of their original target. What had once been Juan fell to its knees with a sickening crack as bones snapped and began to burn. The skin on Juan’s face now blackened and brittle clung to his skull the way his shirt had clung to his body earlier. As Patty scrambled backwards, desperate to get away but unable to tear his eyes from his dying lover, a voice rasped up from Juan’s collapsing throat straight from the depths of hell.

           “Doonnn’tt LEEAVVE MUHEEEE!!”

           With that, Juan’s ashen corpse began to fall forward, his jaw cracking open to vomit a swarm of energy spores, still brightly glowing orange. They whirled about for a split second before rushing toward Patty. The experienced runner’s instincts kicked in as he spun on his heel and darted off through the trees. He glanced back once over his shoulder to see the bubbling pile that had once been his best friend and love of his life glowing like a pool of lava; the remaining bones splitting and radiating heat as they melted into the steaming sludge.

           Patty ran faster. He was crying as he ran. He was leaving his boyfriend, he had run away from Juan, he had just left him there. Patty understood that his young lover was no more, that he had just died a hideous death right in front of him, but emotionally Patty knew he would never forgive himself for running away. Still, he ran. Patty was fast, and the speed he demonstrated proved that he had more than earned the trophies that cluttered his room. The glowing spores continued after him, moving faster, slowly gaining on him. Knowing it was not the best use of his breath but unable to stop himself, Patty screamed for help. “Help! Somebody! ANYbody! HEELLPP!!”

           But Patty had chosen the spot for his romantic interlude too well. There was no one in earshot and his cries went unheeded. Ahead, there was a broad stretch over a dry gulch and beyond that, a worn path that led to a major thoroughfare. Patty knew that if he could just make that leap, the momentum could carry him onto that road where he might be able to find help from a passing car.

           The buzzing grew louder behind him, and Patty could hear the sparks and lances of electricity as his feet pounded against the ground and his heart pounded in his chest. He could smell the raw energy burn the air. Putting on an extra burst of speed, Patty threw himself into the air to catapult himself over the gulch and on to the potential rescue that lay beyond.

           His feet never touched the ground.

           Above the orange glowing spores that gouged at the teenager like angry nettles, a winged monster circled lazily, its head angled down to observe the inexorable slaughter of the young man whose screams were slowly silenced. The cries died out to be replaced by electrical humming and the sickly wet sound of liquefied flesh spattering the ground.  Soulless eyes blinked twice, taking in what they could from the two hideous deaths. Its nostrils flared, exhaling hot breath and small jolts of electricity. Instinctively, the creature understood that to find what it needed, new prey must be sought.  With the beat of leathery wings, it soared upwards into the clouds.

[asundizzay]

DRAFT BOX: FOTO FAIL FRIDAY: FROMANCE.

I wanted to take the non-traditional route in approaching this belated Valentine’s Day post by ignoring the standard conglomeration of hearts & love, and photographing nouns that relate to some of my favorite rom-coms/rom-drams/rom-com-drams, because i’m a low-key sucker for sappy things (cheesy). I was out all day hoping to photo some movie thangs and nerds fighting the storm with their umbrellas, but nope, just got wind-slapped all around (stray branches included )–the rain didn’t start pouring until I got home because of course. 

* UPDATE (02/21): THIS IS NOW  A TBT OF A FOTOFAIL OF A COMMERCIAL HOLIDAY THAT HAPPENED ONE WEEK AGO LOL HOW. *

**UPDATE (02/22): LOL it’s Wednesday. But this is finally complete. #WhyNotWednesday **

500 Days of Summer ( 2009 )

Rachel Hansen: Just because she likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn’t mean she’s your soul mate.

Tom and Summer were two separately flawed characters whose bittersweet union was doomed from the start. For the longest time, I saw Summer as the b-word who carelessly wrecked Tom’s heart, when in reality, Tom’s insufferable sense of entitlement and manipulative nice guy complex subtly revealed that he’s actually kind of a jerk. Except for that whole dance number to Hall & Oates You Make My Dreams and showing Summer his favorite spot and drawing painstakingly detailed buildings on her arm. That was cute. Another thing that saved this film for me was presenting the nonlinear “boy meets girl” narrative in the dude’s perspective, forewarning the audience that this is not a love story, and allowing these two imperfect humans to individually see a happy ending: Summer marries someone she truly wants, with whom she shares a genuine connection,  and Tom is refreshingly presented another “season” to start anew, with someone potentially better suited for him. Additionally, a mind-blowing color theory visually demonstrates how these two were simply not made for each other, which can be found here.

cute score: 6 ( eh cute, JGL A 10 tho )

photo: Water Court at California Plaza on the upper level of  Tom’s favorite spot in Angels Knoll, Los Angeles, 2009. 

13 Going On 30 ( 2004 )

Matt: You can’t just turn back time.

Jenna: Why not?

In this essentially female version of Big, Jenna Rink’s 13 year-old self wishes to be thirty, flirty and thriving after some dudes and mean girls (which premiered the same year!) ruined her birthday party. On cue, magic dust spins her into an It’s A Wonderful Life-type alternate reality where she is living the dream as a rich, successful editor for her favorite fashion magazine. She reconnects with her childhood BFF, Matt, and they ultimately catch feelings faster than a winter cold. But aw dip, chocolate chip, Matt is hella engaged and about to be married, and now conflicted because Jenna has finally reciprocated his feels, but you know, commitment and whatever. A string of miscommunication and conflict occurs, then Jenna shows up to Matt’s wedding where he’s like, LOL, look  I’ve always loved you but the past can’t come back yo. Upon hearing this, she cries with intense regret, wishing she could just be 13 again for a do-over. The same magic dust gradually falls (for effect), and the scene reverts to her birthday party where she enthusiastically chooses Matt ( who grows up looking like Mark Ruffalo ) over the 80s cool kids, and their story ends all sweetly with the pair eating their favorite childhood candy on the lawn of a pink house, interestingly designed like her dream house, figuratively implying that her deepest wish has come true (or not). 

cute score: 8 ( hecka cute  the Thriller moment is still awkward for me tho and omg look Mark Ruffalo didn’t even want to do it lol click here )

photo: New York Public Library, setting for magazine’s ‘Class of 2004′ photoshoot, NYC, 2012

10 Things I Hate About You ( 1999 )

Patrick: Yeah, and is she worth all this trouble?

Cameron: Well, I thought she was, but you know, I…

Patrick: Well, she is or she isn’t. See first of all, Joey is not half the man you are. Secondly, don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want. Go for it.

A modern take on Shakespeare’s  The Taming of the Shrew ( the numerous Shakespeare references / allusions make sense now )  introduces us to the Stratford sisters, their strict father with the winning punchlines, awkward Cameron with the sidekick BFF,  the “obligatory cool kid slash model” Joey, and resident bad ( bad bad bad ) boy, Patrick Verona doing bad boy things with a bunsen burner. So here’s the thing: Bianca really wants to date Joey but she can’t date anyone until her shrewd AF sister dates, which prompts her to set up the whole “this bet gets outta hand” premise that heavily spawned in 1999. Obvious villain Joey pays Patrick to win Kat’s heart and sing “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You”  on the bleachers to win my heart, then he inevitably falls for her. In a callback to She’s All That, Kat eventually finds out about everything leading to the tearful read  of the eponymous (these are clearly over 10 things ) poem in class, as Patrick looks on like man I done fcuked up yo. But wait, he gets Kat the guitar she’s been wanting, insists that his feels for her are hella real and all is forgiven. Also, Cameron finally gets Bianca, and she punches Joey (whose nose spray ad is now ruined) thrice for herself, her sister and Yung Cameron. Oh yeah, and Cameron’s BFF ends up finding a Shakespeare lover just like him, lol, nerds. 

cute score: 9 ( super cute, everyone gets who they want and the real bad boy gets what he deserves! They had a band on the freakin’ roof dude )

photo: Fremont Troll, where Cameron and Bianca talk and stuff, Seattle, 2009

A Case of You / Comet ( 2013 / 2014 )

Birdie: Success is a myth. Love’s the only true currency. After all this is done, all that really matters is how and who you loved.

———–

Dell: Why does it feel so impossible to let you go?

Dell: It’s an addiction, you know. That’s all it is.

Dell: It’s a biochemical addiction. It’s so stupid.

Dell: If you think about it relationships are all totally narcissistic.

Dell: Basically, you’re just looking for someone who’ll love you as much as you love yourself. That’s all it is.

———–

Two Justin Long movies for the price of fun. 

I’ve probably checked off so much of this dude’s filmography that I can easily tell you that one of his many underrated roles would be a cameo as George Harrison in the equally underappreciated Walk Hard: A Dewey Cox Story. I know… comedy is understandably the toughest genre to press onto humans, so to each his own. These two films fall in that hit or miss category–on one end, you have Sam, an author who meets a barista and quickly becomes infatuated with her, even more so after creeping reading her Facebook profile and mimicking those interests in order to attract her attention, eventually using her as a muse for his story ( A Case Of You ),  and on the other, you have Dell and Kim caught in a classic case of star-crossed lovers whose rocky relationship is dreamily depicted through a non-linear narrative of parallel universes, reminiscent of Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind  ( Comet ). Despite his ridiculous Facebook faux pas, Birdie admits that she was adding  random items to her profile to see if Sam would change, and to no one’s surprise, she still liked him anyway because if a connection is real then it’s real, and it’s extremely important, to like, just be yourself because there’s more to a person than what they choose to display on the Interwebz. And Dell and Kim continue to sail through different universes, with Dell wishing to live in a permanent world where they end up together 💔. 

cute score: 3  ( So much fighting–whether with oneself, another person, or the world, das not dat cute. ). 

photo: Light trails, space, and time to represent chaotic nature of the parallel universes in Comet, NYC, 2015 

Begin Again  ( 2013 )

Dan: You can tell a lot about a person by what’s on their playlist.

Greta: I know you can. That’s what’s worrying me.

I’ll throw in Before We Go, Friends With Benefits, or even Lost In Translation into this mix of getting to know a person as you explore a new city together–whether platonically or romantically, it’s still awesome. This particular love story focuses on the protagonists’ mutual love for music rather than feelings towards each other–though their respectable relationships with his estranged wife and her ex-boyfriend still romanticize the plot. Dan Mulligan, a formerly successful record executive drunkenly discovers Gretta James, a newly independent songwriter reluctantly singing in a low-key bar thanks to pre-late late show James Corden. He sees great potential, she doesn’t believe in herself, I mean how could she, her ex-boyfriend slash songwriting partner is none other than recent singing sensation, AdamN Levine Dave Kohl. After Dan’s business partner Yasiin Bae/Yasiin Bey/Mos Def   Saul initially rejects Gretta from their record label, the pair take matters into their own hands and decide to produce their own album together, using local talented musicians backed by the sights and sounds of New York City and the result is pure magic like fireworks in your ears, the visual “wow that’s so glorious” part not the actual “boom boom” noise part, because you would totally go deaf. This is a story about how music can bring people together (production, collaboration, Dan reconciling with his wife ) or tear them apart ( Dave cheating on Greta ), seek forgiveness ( Dave singing Lost Stars, Don Henley singing The Heart of The Matter [not in this movie, that song just popped up in my head as I wrote that lol] ), or drive passion ( Violet dreams of becoming a guitarist/ Gretta’s career kicking off ). Music is love, music is life, and Gretta’s album sells hella copies from its online release, and things are looking up for Dan and his life. Dan in real life. After encountering a series of failures/contemplating suicide, discovering Gretta, producing this album, and making amends with Saul, his wife and daughter, I guess you can say that Dan (as well as Gretta? ) was given another chance to fairly begin…again. 

cute score: 7 (  Dan drunkenly composing a song in his head, The headphone splitter scene tho, das kinda cute )

photo: Times Square, the scene stealer of the headphone splitter scene tho, NYC, 2012

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind ( 2004 )

Clementine: Meet me in Montauk. 

It’s 3:41 AM and my body hates me. Especially my eyes.  Okay, so two contrasting personalities, Joel and Clementine, meet on a train and immediately connect like 4, only to learn that they are former lovers and Clementine had erased her memories of Joel after some petty argument, and Joel’s like ‘wtf bro’ and decides to erase his memories of her. The familiar surrealistic non-linear narrative that I heart so hard navigates through Joel’s head space, intercut between scenes of sadness and anger,  to happier times until the final memory where everything crumbles to the ground like dust in the wind, as he tries to hold onto his last moment with Clementine, after realizing that he still loves her. Other story lines, connect, Kirsten Dunst finds out she had her memory of the doctor erased and she gets mad upset, like ‘i’m gonna show everyone (who has undergone this procedure) their memory erasure records’ upset.  Elijah Wood is just super devious. COTDAMN MARK RUFFALO IS ALSO IN THIS MOVIE LOL WTF YO. The scene restarts and Joel and Clementine, meet on a train and immediately connect like 4, only to learn that they are former lovers and they’re like “oh whaa” and think that maybe starting over would be a good idea or it might be the same but they go for it anyway and who knows what those two are up to now probably making sure that they don’t forget about each other amirite lol omg it’s already 4. 

cute score: 2 ( Comet before comet was comet, not dat cute, but like Comet, beautiful cinematography is a 10)

photo: Imagine this human’s hair is orange, you know, like Clementine, ArtWalk, San Diego, 2014

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honorable mentions: Garden State. Ryan Gosling & Ryan Reynolds’ things. Scott Pilgrim Vs The World. High Fidelity. Say Anything. John Hughes’ things.