#I forget that these people have last names so many DnD characters don’t have last names it’s easy to accept that they go by just ‘Gale’

[chopshajen]

22. Gale

Gale has the saddest wettest puppy eyes imaginable, I always feel bad turning him down for anything LOL But I do it anyways bc Anattone has his hands full with Astarion

Just this other night, Gale wanted to talk, but by the time Anattone got to him (Astarion was trying to read a cursed book and that required supervision), all Gale had to say was “Don’t let me drag you away. Enjoy yourself - you earned a night of revelry,” with a very resigned look

I know it was probably a bug because that line is what he says after you turn him down at the tiefling party, but I can imagine he meant it in this context too. He’s just there every night at camp, wistfully watching Anattone not pay attention to him, being too nice to complain about it LOL

[dtriad]

《早安！三国打工人》 Good Morning! Workers of the Three Kingdoms, written by 蒿里茫茫

here to shout into the void with a cnovel rec!

The world is boiling, the people are suffering. In truth, Lu Xuanyu didn't quite understand the meaning of those eight words. Ever since she had landed face down in the dirt of the sixth year of the Zhongping era, the fleeting dream she'd once held had scattered like ashes and vanished into thin air. She had a plain face, low EQ, no family background, and a baffling debuff that made everyone mislike her—but it didn't matter that she wasn't treated as the white moonlight of whatever duke or prince. She could work hand and foot, balance the books, butcher hogs, and even had a sword that was enough for her to walk alone in a chaotic world. Her goal was also very simple: a small house, some close friends and neighbors, a room full of food, and a courtyard where she could enjoy the cool breeze at night. So—in the end, just what had gone so wrong for her path to turn entirely in another direction? "I am ready to die here." She held the Black Blade, fully focused as she stood amid the flames, and looked arrogantly at the tide of Danyang soldiers pouring in. "If you want to seize Xuzhou, be ready to do the same."

I have a weakness for the sub-genre of cnovels that's about the main character transmigrating into a historical setting, preferably stories set in an actual historical dynasty (tagged 古色古香) instead of an invented historical setup (tagged 架空历史) or in-universe fictional storyline. And even more specifically, the kind that deals in infrastructure building or military conflict. Conveniently, JJWXC has tags for specific periods, e.g. Qin, Han, Tang, Song, Ming, and Qing dynasties—and of course the Three Kingdoms period, which is how I came across 早安！三国打工人 aka Good Morning! Workers of the Three Kingdoms while on a historical transmigration reading spree, and consequently fell down a very, very, very deep hole orz

Among the stories that I’ve read in this sub-genre, 3K Workers really stands out to me as one of the best (imo!). The MC Lu Xuanyu doesn’t transmigrate into someone native to the Three Kingdoms period, but as her own DnD character with high combat and terribly low charm per the debuff from the summary. 😂 There is no System, only her sentient sword—the Black Blade—that may be as much of a hidden existential poison to her as it is her one “friend” in the beginning. Slowly, she makes an ordinary life for herself in the capital city of Luoyang, with sufficient food and necessities, a decent-paying job, friendly and nosy neighbors, a small home of her own… But none of it can last, because these are the deathbed years of the Eastern Han dynasty according to history—and the people are suffering.

Over the course of more than a decade, from a lone hunter to a butcher, from a handyman to a refugee, from a night watchman to a general—who’s responsible for the lives of many thousands, both soldiers and civilians (the line blurring as ever between them)—Lu Xuanyu never forgets why she decided to step up and fight: to save people. And her struggles in the attempt, both internal and external, comprise the propelling force of the story, as we can see from the author's notes in which they say up front that Lu Xuanyu will join Liu Bei’s team, and then add:

The heroine is an idealist unto death; don’t think about using reality to change her.

(no way!!!! I love her as she is.)

Some things I really like in 3K Workers:

Lu Xuanyu starts out as a true no-name, rather than someone with an established and/or influential family background (b/c lbr that is quite common for this sub-genre). When she appears through an outsider's POV in Ch. 1, she’s been living alone in the wilderness for several months and is a little desperate for some kind of positive human interaction (the low charm debuff does her no favors, which makes the instances people overcome it more notable—it either says something about the impact her behavior has on them, or their ability to disregard inexplicable annoyance). She doesn’t have power or influence to leverage; she doesn’t have the ambition to do something great or world-changing. She simply wants to live a normal life. It’s just unfortunate that “normal” in the 3K period easily leads to death. Her abilities make her abnormal—she is, quite literally, something like an android according to Word of God, a superhuman who’s a wrinkle in the fabric of this timeline’s reality—but she feels and thinks as a 21st century human, with the assumption of a common humanity that makes her a fish out of water.

There's a strong focus on the consequences of war for the common people, and the PTSD that is a simple fact of existence for those exposed to the conflicts; it consistently turns its lens back to look at the farmers, the soldiers, the people who are treated like trampled grass, and shares their perspectives as well. I recall seeing this done in a few other novels, but iirc the framing in those cases was set up more as a way to show people reacting to the changes wrought by the MC, whereas here the framing allows the MC to better understand the attitudes & status quo of the period.

A lot of stories in the sub-genre have the MCs quickly adjusting to the past on the outside and leveraging the power of their position (again, typically based on preexisting family clout) to proactively push for changes, whether it’s to protect themselves or drive swift societal/technological change. In contrast, Lu Xuanyu doesn’t ever truly adapt to the values of the past, is clearly an oddball to others in her behavior and actions, and has enough on her hands with battles without any time or attention to initiate some golden-finger-boosted upheaval of norms. But the ripple effect of her existence is such that other characters, native to the period, are the ones who see clearly what changes they can make and want to make, and pursue those goals of their own accord: reducing the power of the gentry, sharing knowledge more widely, establishing a strong foundation to support better opportunities for women… They come self-motivated to their own enlightenment, which I feel really enriches the story—Lu Xuanyu is the match that lit the fire, but they keep the fire burning. A special shout-out to Lu Bai, who proposes and leads the women-only Jianfu Battalion; her character has some fantastic development throughout the book ♥

I consider this novel very anti-war in attitude—even though we want Lu Xuanyu to win her battles, by the end there’s only bitter weariness rather than delight in victory.

It’s the Three Kingdoms period, so if you like loyalty kink then this naturally caters 300% to that!!!

Ft. great content about battle strategy, tactics, and logistics that makes my inner history geek super happy, and it's combined very effectively with character portrayal and development shown via battle; outside of battle, it gives attention to rebuilding during the rare periods of temporary peace in a historically grounded way.

Plus the tension in the (im)balance of power—there’s the imperial court, the various warlords, appointed officials, aristocratic families—and how the norms of society slowly, slowly start to change...

Despite the subject matter, it is also incredibly funny 😆 Lu Xuanyu's 21st-century-shaped outlook does not jive with period attitudes, and the resulting disconnects in communication are hilarious if you enjoy dry humor; the low EQ squad, ft. founding members Lu Xuanyu and Lü Bu lololol, are an absolute riot, whether they’re interacting with each other or anyone else, and outside their low EQ sphere of immediate influence the story doesn’t shortchange readers on everyday absurdities either, whether it’s the internal squabbling within Yuan Shao’s harem of strategists/advisors or the 3K period take on “lying flat” among certain scholars (paging Zhuge Liang’s uncle…)

The events and historical characters are based on actual historical records rather than fictionalized Romance of the Three Kingdoms, but you don’t have to be knowledgeable about 3K history at all! Lu Xuanyu certainly isn’t! (And if you are, you’ll enjoy all the references to 3K memes & whatnot… actual lol at the “burning of the thatched cottage” in 3K Workers @ 2010 Three Kingdoms drama do you see that!!! do you see what proper plot logic is!!!)

Technically it falls under JJWXC’s m/f category, but I consider this story essentially gen with background UST at most. Lu Xuanyu is very shippable, in the sense that she has lots of interesting relationships with characters in roles ranging from loyal subordinates to tsundere colleagues to ideologically opposed enemies. (And I was pretty satisfied with the endgame ship, though it really isn’t the focus at all during the main story.) She passes as a man for the first ~20% of the cnovel before revealing she’s a woman, and while the f/f potential is limited (alas!), I do love the supporting female characters.

The bad news: … it’s long… and untranslated… /cries/ I want to translate some excerpts as I reread it, but I gotta be realistic—despite my love for this cnovel I just can’t sign myself up rn to translate 2.7 million Chinese characters over 700+ chapters. If you can read Chinese or if you’re ok with reading via mtl, then you can find it at:

JJWXC [how-to guide]

OR here, Ch. 1-601 (Parts 1-5) and Ch. 602-757 (Part 6+extras)

OR you can message me for a formatted ereader-friendly file >_>

Additional links (potential spoilers)—

Reviews on Weibo & Lofter (one) (two) (three)

Review - Peking University Online Literature 2022-23 Biennial List

Interview with the author 蒿里茫茫

Meta re: Lü Bu

Maps of Luoyang; army movements in the years 193, 195, & 199 CE (+zoom in on Puyang); Emperor Xian's journey 195-199 CE

Translated excerpts—

Ch. 13: LXY defending the neighborhood

Ch. 23: Mei-niang invites LXY over

Ch. 66/73: "you cannot retreat, you cannot lose, and you cannot die!"

Ch. 99: funerals for the dead

Ch. 210: Lü Bu's innate taunt skill

Ch. 679/687: the two sides of Sima Yi

Audiobook adaption (in progress)—

Ximalaya homepage

Bilibili playlist (eps 1-900+, updating)

Youtube playlist (ep. 1-550)

[last updated 12/27/2024]

[jasminesgardens]

Preparation

Set Up

Musical Episode Mechanics

Conclusions and Links

Heavily inspired by the Buffy the Vampire Slayer Musical Episode: Once More, With Feeling, I put together a Musical Episode for my own players that went down beautifully and here’s how you can too!

Preparation: 

1. Have your players (whether subtly asked or not, up to you) send you a playlist of songs that relate to their character, their relationships and scenarios they’ve been through in the past. Sort through these songs into “Main Plot” and “Scenarios That Could Happen”. 

Prompt Examples from my Musical Episode:

Main Plot: Prologue/Opening Narration, First Song (Morning Sequence), The Whole City is Singing, Figuring Out What is Happening, NPC Karaoke Songs, Player Karaoke Songs, A Call to BBEG, Battle Songs, Reveal of BBEG, Revealing Deepest Darkest Secret, Aftermath, End Credits and After Credits.

Scenarios That Could Happen: Dream Sequences (What Ifs, Foreshadowing or Nightmares), Reflection on their Pasts/Families/Homes, Attraction/First Kiss/Getting Together/Examining the Relationship/WooHoo Moments, How the Party is Seen, Arguments/Make Ups, Praying to their Gods, Positivity/Negativity, Stress/Learning to Relax, Fight Training, Opening Up/Confessing Feelings (Romantic, Friendly, Truthful), Cheering Up, Anger/Protests, Celebration/Drunken Songs, Death Saving Throws and Continuing the Fight.

The playlist is public so just search up DND: The Musical Episode by Princess Jasmine Flies Away.

2. Ask your players, if you haven’t already, for their deepest, darkest secret. The secret they would take to their grave. A secret about their lives or a fear they have could be the prompt. (This is what will be revealed later to the whole Party!)

As I was heavily inspired by the Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Musical Episode, I used the episode to dive board my idea of what my “Main Plot” would be and explore the themes of secrets, speaking your truth and aftermaths. So even after my Musical Episode, my players and their characters were still thinking of what was revealed and what to do going forward with their relationships and themselves. That’s what will make your Musical Episode fun but also thought-provoking and memorable.

Examples from my Musical Episode:

“I’m going to die in six months.”

“I fear I’m on the path to becoming my step-father.”

“I fear my mission from my Goddess is to simply be the sidekick.”

Set Up:

1. Curse your Party. 

Example (taken from DNDSpeak and tweaked, warning a little gruesome): I sent my party on a mission to rid the City’s Sewers of the Oozes and Slimes that lived down there as the previous adventurers sent had not returned. While giving hint, and a child NPC who asked them to look, that recently a lot of pets had gone missing in the area around the Sewers. 

With every Ooze and Slime encounter, a voice would call out asking the adventurers to leave, getting more and more angry, desperate and threatening as they approached their hiding place. 

In this evil Bard’s hidden lair, they discovered the Bard had been stealing pets and using them to make into instruments. Not allowing the Party to leave, they fought and the Bard lost but just before he did, the Bard cursed my party. 

The players killed the Bard with fire so all the set up and hints in his lair burnt with him but if they hadn’t, they would have gotten hints of his worship to a certain demon and how he was planning to give his instruments as a gift to them.

I let my party spend the rest of the day doing whatever they liked and waited until the next day for the curse to take affect (which I recommend).

2. Setting Up Music

As I DM on Skype, I used JQBX for everyone to be able to hear the songs at the same time live but you might find other platforms or just be able to bluetooth to the speakers and use Spotify as you play in person (lucky sod).

Then completely shock your friends by awakening them to a performance. Start with a dream sequence or a morning montage or a title sequence! Have fun!

Musical Episode Mechanics:

1. When to Sing:

After the initial shock of the Opening of the Musical Episode, the party will believe the Musical Episode is a curse inflicted on just them (If you’re like me, it isn’t. It’s the whole city because that’s hilarious.) but unaware of when they will start to sing again.

I recommend it every time a party member gets emotional, reaches a perfect opportunity for a scenario song or simply plot development. These songs hint towards characters’ feelings for themselves, other characters, certain scenarios and maybe even their deepest, darkest secret so every time it happens, play the song that incredibly reads them to filth and ask them to roll a constitution saving roll, needing to beat 13. If they fail, write a tally mark for which player and wait for your finale to reveal what for.

I rewarded my players with 10XP each song as it gave them confidence to perform, improv and just get silly!

2. BBEG:

Through researching into what this curse could possibly be, introduce the demon Kacophony the Musical. They’re dramatic, crave entertainment and force people to sing for them with fiery magic, which can lead some of their victims to become Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru in Star Wars: A New Hope. The party will know Kacophony is responsible as you’ll sprinkle in the hints of burnt victims after each Musical Number, the same amount of bodies as the tally marks you’ve been collecting.

Now in my Musical Episode, I put Kacophony the Musical in the place they were cursed. My players went earlier than I would have liked so don’t be afraid to say “not the right time” for Act 3 and help them circle back to there later, after a full day of singing and dancing.

Example: I had a singing woman lead the party back to the Sewers ominously after quite a hearty song.

When discovered, Kacophony is waiting there with their goons for the “cast of today’s musical”, revealing that the person who cursed them gave a huge sacrifice to troll the city with this ridiculous curse, give Kacophony a few souls and to embarrass the party.

Example: My Evil Bard offered all his gruesome instruments and his own life to Kacophony. 

Kacophony the Musical will reveal two things.

First, what all the constitution saving rolls have been for. Every failure (a roll under 13) has led to someone’s end aka the burnt victims they have seen throughout the day. Tell your players how many people they have each ended with their rolls and if your party is as morally good as mine, you will have people ready to fight. If not, embarrassing them through song is enough for one.

Which brings me to the second reveal, Kacophony the Musical is a Musical Demon (obviously). Musicals reveal what characters are really thinking to their audience; their hopes, their dreams, their deepest, darkest secret. 

Have your party fight this demon only to be unable to not say their deepest, darkest secret to one another (it’s up to you if its based on roll or unescapable), causing a ton of big reveals, suspense and tension, which Kacophony can use as a getaway. 

It’s up to you if you want the party to defeat Kacophony the Musical. I didn’t as I preferred the idea of Kacophony being a showman who hides behind their spells and goons, reads the party to filth and then just leaves when it gets boring, leaving them on the mind of the party long afterwards but if you do want your party to defeat them, then make it so. 

Kacophony the Musical’s Character Sheet: Inspiration from Rahadin from Curse of Strahd and Cantus by u/Jacknerik

3. The Curse and Aftermath:

Finally, the curse lasts for 24 hours, so when your players awaken the next morning, the curse will be gone but no one will forget how yesterday changed their lives and how flipping awesome your session was. 

In the aftermath, my players had a lot of role-play heavy conversations which led them to build up their relationships and their own storylines and a city of people who either were trying to remember the awesome lyrics they sang yesterday or are now afraid of music (possible Footloose inspired sequel adventure).

Conclusion:

Either way it was a lot of fun and certainly went down as one of my best sessions as a DM.

Thank you so much for reading, my name is PrincessJasmineFliesAway on everything else and my credentials in DMing can be described as Wizarding World 2.0, Shifting into the Star Wars Sequels and Barbie Mermaida the Campaign. Goodbye.

[cxmetery-gates]

OBSESSIVE TEACHINGS - DARK!TOM HIDDLESTON

CHAPTER TWO: FOR THE FIRST TIME

SUMMARY: Lynn meets the attractive English teacher, Mr. Tom Hiddleston. WORD COUNT: 3.1k NOTE: it’s 3:00 am but I don’t have a sleep schedule. Enjoy! WARNINGS: dark!tom hiddleston, teacher!tom hiddleston

OBSESSIVE TEACHINGS MASTERLIST

INSIDE IS HAVOC.

For some idiotic reason, most students somehow forget what classes they signed up for three months ago or lost their schedules (I still wonder how that happens) and thus, the front office is a mess of students asking for theirs, the lines bleeding out into the hall. Given this, getting around to head to the commons will be a mission in and of itself. I'm not hating on all of them. As a freshman I was in the same place, my shaky hands and nervously stuttering voice mirroring the kids that smell brand new. Hopefully, to avoid this debacle again, they'll write the classes down. I guarantee the already exhausted looking receptionists would agree.

I almost want to tell the small, thin girl who wrings her hands 'good luck' but I guarantee she'd faint by the time I open my mouth. Instead, Ellie and I keep walking past the crowd. Poor souls.

It takes a minute or so to reach the commons, the booming echoes of chatting teenagers on their first day back is a sound like no other. The voices create a paved path any newcomer could easily follow. It dawns on me now that this will be the last time I'll hear this sound. I solemnly smile.

"I'm telling you, Dunmer is the better race."

"Only an idiot would spew such ignorant bullshit! Everyone knows Khajiit are the superior race!"

"Says the guy who could pass as a furry."

My eyebrows raise once the familiar voices are heard. Of course, they sit alone and look as normal as ever. My heart dips into my stomach when one of the two glances up and bashfully raises a hand to wave. In his awkward state, his hand barely moves.

Ellie is the first to speak. "What are you guys fighting about now?"

The boy with the long black hair speaks first. "Dumbass over here thinks Dark Elves are the best characters in Skyrim." Gabriel Ahoka is one of the oldest friends I have and if there's anything I've learned from him, it's that he's right the majority of the time. Oh, and he has beautiful hair.

"Because I'm right!" I take a seat next to the self-proclaimed judge. His name is River Adams, and I think I've been in love with him since he told me I reminded him of Hermione Granger back in the fourth grade. I smile in his direction then tuck some hair behind my ear. A nervous twitch that doesn't get past Ellie's ever watchful eyes. I refuse to acknowledge her small smirk. Instead, we both join in on the two dorks' conversation.

Ellie rolls her big brown eyes at them. "I don't see what the fuss is about. You guys take your games too seriously."

Both River and Gabriel audibly gasp at her comment.

"Fine," Gabriel huffs looking in my direction. "What about you, Lynn-ykinz?"

I don't visibly react to his nickname. It's something I've been called for years now. Though I'd like to agree with River, it's something I can't do. "Dunmers—"

"Ha!"

"— are for pussies."

"Ha!" This laugh comes from the boy sitting across from me. Beside me, River makes a small "oh" and lowers his raised fists, his hooray coming to a short and final end. I chuckle at his reaction as I pass Gabriel a solid high five.

"What are your guys' schedules?" River asks a tiny bit of gloom and annoyance coating his words.

Fortunately, most of us are in similar classes and only have to be here for a little over half the day. Due to all of us sticking to the scheduling plan, we all were able to get almost all our required course and electives done. Instead of having seven classes in one day, we all have five. By the time lunch rolls around, we're free the rest of the afternoon, meaning much longer DND matches with the nerds and more gossip and jam times with the only other female in our group.

"So meet up at the library for lunch?" I confirm once more as the morning bell rings, signally to all the student and staff that the first day is about to begin. The three people around me reply in agreement, and we head out. For the first hour of the day as well as the last, we're in different places. I'm not sure where the others are going, but I begin my journey to the library, one of my all-time favorite places.

I walk through the doors and slide over the counter, careful not to be seen but not careful enough. I plop in my seat at the front desk as someone walks up behind me.

"I don't know how many times I have to tell you to go through the gate. It's literally five feet away, Lynn!" I send a humored smile to the woman walking behind me, a rather large stack of books in her arms.

I stand up and begin taking ones off the top. "Five feet of unnecessary effort, in my opinion."

"And playing parkour in the library is?" Mrs. Gibbons says, deadpanning.

"To each their own."

She sighs but then laughs. "How was your summer, kid?"

"Pretty decent." I now have half the stack in my arms, and I follow behind her. "My mom and I went to Arizona for a few days and then Seattle for a week. We didn't have much time, but we drove through somewhere in Canada on the way back just because."

Mrs. Gibbons sets the books down on a cart where there are a couple of rows on the bottom already filled. Taking her lead, I lower my stack to the opposite side and begin placing them side by side. I presume these are outdated and to be sold or given away. "What's in Arizona and Seattle?"

A smile hits my face immediately. "There's a college in Flagstaff with a great writing program. I went on a day trip around the campus. And Seattle is just someplace we wanted to visit."

"That's so good to hear, hon! Are you considering?"

I lean back against the counter right behind me as my mentor continues to shelve books. "It's a little far."

Turning to face me, Mrs. Gibbons send me a confused stare. "I thought you wanted to get away from this god-forsaken state?"

She's right. All I've wanted since my father left was to get out of Missouri (or Misery, if anyone's asking). My mom and I left Maine a long time ago go escape unimaginable horrors, but I wasn't expecting those nightmares to follow me here. The move was negligent in getting us away from memories a selfish prick poisoned and to start new somewhere far away, where no one knows me as the girl with a deadbeat dad. In this small town, everyone knows everything. I'd like to escape, to be a complete stranger to everyone.

But Arizona is a couple of thousand miles away from the place I grew up in, my home. I feel incredibly guilty about considering a college so far away from the woman who has taken care of me on her own since I entered elementary school, who has taught me that voicing my opinion and being honest is valued more than timidity and who told me that no man should ever keep a thumb on me. The other influencers in my life are also staying around here. Ellie has been accepted in a very pretentious private school for the Fine Arts a couple of cities over while River and Gabe are thinking about community college before making the jump into university. While solitude and adventures are what I crave, everyone who keeps my sanity in control is here.

I sigh, crossing my arms. "I do, but... I'm just not sure what I really want. Like, I would kill to get out of here, but what if everywhere is worse?"

"Trust me; there's nowhere worse than southwest Missouri, hon."

Again, she has a point.

I hum in response. There a brief moment of silence as we shelve old, dusty books. "So how was your summer?"

Mrs. Gibbons smile kindly, fawning over memories I doubt. "Richie took two weeks off, and we went Fiji. It was so beautiful. The water is clear, the people are wonderful, and the food– oh my God, the food." I secretly have a small thing for Richard Gibbons, or, as his wife calls him, Richie. This "thing" isn't a crush or infatuation by any means, but when he walks into the library on random occasions, he has a natural gift to swoon anyone he encounters. I've unfortunately fallen victim to his charisma a few times. He's an image of the wealthy 1930's businessman with modern values and beliefs weaved in his fine suits. Mr. Gibbons might be my mother's age, or possibly older, but I have to say, Mrs. Gibbons is quite the lucky woman.

I chuckle at her. "I'm sometimes surprised you haven't filed for early retirement."

"Richie makes quite the cash, but how and I supposed to entertain myself when he's gone ten hours a day and then for weeks on end?" Mrs. Gibbons pauses and looks around her library, then back to me. The growing crows feet wrinkle into a smile. "And besides, I can't leave my favorite kids behind, now can I?"

"I guess you can't," I reply.

Ten minutes later, I'm back at my desk. Well, technically mine, Mrs. Gibbons, and the other kid who helps out during school hours. I've never met them, so I'm not sure who exactly they are. Anyway, the "desk" is a long bar that has a foot-high wall that stretches all the way down to the ends, creating a divider between my computer and a student or faculty member. The top of this divider is flat, forming a plane in which books or arms can be set on. Most of the time, books scatter the top, but since it's the first day, the library is not only spotlessly clean but deadly empty.

That is until someone catches my attention. Sitting at the far side of the desk, I'm able to see who is coming a mile before he steps through the open library doors. This time was no different.

With long, lean legs and a towering height walks in none other than Mr. Tom Hiddleston.

Easily being the hottest teacher of all time, I feel a blush beginning to creep up my cheeks just at the mere sight of him. Apart from his 6'2 figure, he sports tame yet still curly reddish-brown hair, divine enough for the gods, if he isn't one already. Mr. Hiddleston's cheekbones and jawline remind me of razors, which I would feel honored to be cut by. However, his eyes are a color I can't pick out. Because I've never been in close proximity, my guess, from my distance, is green, or maybe blue. The ambiguity makes him all the more interesting. I wonder if he has some long-distance vibe because as soon as I look up to see him, Mrs. Gibbons is right out front— and missing her cardigan. I raise my brows at her from the swivel chair, but her eyes are focused down and away from me. Elbowing her slightly, I nod once, doing a run over of her exposed arms and a little cleavage. Jokingly, she swats my arms and blushes scarlet. I begin to laugh, somehow holding most in when Mr. Hiddleston walks in.

"Hello, Ruby," he smiles softly. As if he wasn't attractive enough, the man has a damn British accent. It's almost as if he's trying to stick out among the hicks. "It's good to see you. How was your summer, darling?"

If her fingers weren't wrapped around the edge of the desk, I guarantee she would have fallen over. Honestly, I would have done the same. "Absolutely marvelous! Fiji is a beautiful place. I imagine you would like it there."

I make the snarky note that she left her husband out of the conversation. Thinking about it, I try to glance over at her left hand to check if anything is missing.

Zoning out the best I could, I file through the library's emails and begin writing down books teachers are requesting. Like usual, the freshmen English teachers ask for The Great Gatsby, and the sophomore teachers need 1984. Due to being taught-in-class books, I scoot back in my chair to make a beeline to the back room and take the note with me, the sticky top staying attached to my fingertips.

"Oh, Lynn?" I hear Mrs. Gibbons call out.

I just entered the back room, so I comically poked my head out. "You called?"

I seem to humor both parties, a smile etched on their face. "Could you get the copies of Of Mice and Men?" My vision glances over to the teacher behind the desk for a short moment. His tall frame leans on the counter, arms crossed on the platform, apparently indicating familiarity and comfort in the room. I catch his stare. I realize now his eyes are in fact blue.

Nodding, I duck back into the room, setting my sticky note to the side. During the time I have to gather the fifteen or so books, I allow my reddening cheeks to cool off by taking long breaths. "Don't be weird, Lynn," I whisper to myself, extending my arms out towards the collection of novels. "He's just a hot teacher. Calm yourself."

Finishing the stack, I wrap my arms around the tower, huffing as I do. I carefully whisk myself towards the open door, making a mental note to go back to my list.

Mrs. Gibbons and Mr. Hiddleston chat among themselves not too far from where I left. Now sitting in her swivel chair, typing away feverishly on her computer, and keeping a conversation going, the librarian doesn't notice my return, though the man across does. He nods in my direction. The simplest gesture is somehow insanely attractive. Mrs. Gibbons looks over her shoulder, sending me a smirk. "Oh, there you are! Thought I lost you."

I fake a small laugh. "I'm surprised I didn't; it's quite the mess back there," I tease, waddling over to the counter. "Where would you like 'em, boss?" I'm not sure who I would refer to, glancing once at Mr. Hiddleston, to Mrs. Gibbons, then back to the stack in my arms.

"Would you mind escorting me to my classroom? I tend to be clumsy at times." With a warm smile, Mr. Hiddleston glances down to Mrs. Gibbons, awaiting her approval.

At that moment, I'm not sure if I would love or hate to go. On the one hand, I get to spend time with Mr. Hiddleston, every horny teenager's dream. On the other, I'm alone with Mr. Hiddleston, someone I've never had a conversation with let alone a 'hello' until minutes ago. Knowing my luck, I will somehow embarrass myself in front of him. It wouldn't be the end of the world since I don't have any of his classes nor do I have classes near his, but God I would feel like a fool for the rest of my life.

But, hey, he's something pretty to look at.

"Yeah, I don't mind. Is that okay, Mrs. Gibbons? I promise I won't bail on you," I say.

The librarian nods her head, fixing her glasses. "Of course, go right ahead! There isn't much to do now anyway. Just make sure you're back before the bell rings."

"Don't worry, Ruby. I won't keep her long," Mr. Hiddleston reassures.

I wouldn't be opposed if you did, I think to myself. The comment makes me blush, even going to my ears. Some reasons how I could be kept late quickly flash by and I find myself wishing I had not taken Mr. Hiddleston's offer. With my skin still burning, I make my way around the front desk as he follows me on the other side. The gate is shut, and due to my arms being preoccupied, I realized I might have to swing it using my hip, nothing too abnormal. I helped out Mrs. Gibbons last year and would do the same thing when my arms were full. However, Mr. Hiddleston was not accustomed to my way of opening the gate. Just as I go to butt it, Mr. Hiddleston reaches out. In an awkward exchange, Mr. Hiddleston's hand, which was aiming to wrap around the gate, collides on my hip instead.

It's nothing terribly exciting but enough to get a gasp and a jealous exchange from Ellie, and damn right I'll take that.

He pauses barely a second before quickly retracting his arm to his side. A blush of the same shade of scarlet cover our cheeks, an awkward laugh bubbling out.

"I'm sorry," I shyly push out.

Shaking his head, now making sure his hand is on the gate, Mr. Hiddleston bashfully looks down and opens up the exit for me. "Don't be, love. It was my fault."

"If you want to be the culprit, be my guest," I reply sassily. I don't want to see if my comment amused him or caused a cringe, so I don't look up. Instead, I look around for something to make our trip easier. "Did you want me to get a cart instead of carrying them up? It's up to you."

Shrugging, Mr. Hiddleston begins taking books from the stack, leaving me with less than half. "I don't mind walking if you don't mind. I missed my morning jog, so I'm trying to compromise the best I can."

I nod and kindly smile, even though my insides and my weak muscles are upset I took on the mission. "Walking it is then. Lead the way!"

Mr. Hiddleston turns on his heel, passing a smile to Mrs. Gibbons. "Thank you for letting me steal your little helper."

"Just return her the way she's leaving," Mrs. Gibbons retorts.

"We'll see," he replies, sending me a smirk and a wink. If the man wanted to turn my knees into jelly, he already succeeded from the first introduction. Now he's just teasing my flustered heart. "Just this way, love," Mr. Hiddleston tells me. I'm too afraid to speak, so I nod, smile, and follow beside him up the staircase.

[mechmech]

Ok so I know this is like my first post but I’ve been working on it cause a friend did it for their dnd character and I was like this could be fun and give people some insight. Questions wandered as Mecha 1-100

Smell like: oil, sweat, and more recently baby spit-up

Voice: Not many people will understand this fem-V from cyberpunk. Sorta gravely

Motivator: Research mostly. Finding out new things and applying them. More recently though her kid and making a better world for them.

Most embarrassing memory: She doesn’t like to share this story, but when she was younger and moved around with her sister mecha, she was afraid to GO in the woods because she accidentally wandered onto a farmer’s land and was caught pantsless.

How do they react to pain: “ You wanna hit me go ahead, just stay away from the hands and eyes” She can deal with a great deal of physical pain but when it comes to emotions and others she is like a mage named Corren

Wear: Normally throughout the day, she wears her metal armor. Outside of her armor, she wears a simple black dress when relaxing, a work apron while working, and always Always gauntlets and a blindfold

Most positive relationship: THis is difficult because so many of them have done different things, but most probably Corren and her want to be more good like him

The weirdest thing I have ever eaten: Correns cooking

Sleep: “Alister! Corren! Cuddle me!” Yea she will cuddle up with almost any person who trusts and it depends on the person. Alister: Alister is the big spoon and mecha buries herself into his chest and stomach. Corren: Mecha is like a koala to Corren and just hugs onto a single leg.

Favorite food/ kinda food: Vegetables honestly, but also baked goods like bread

Most insecure about: How others see her

Like to wear: adaptable clothing, something that can be used for many different functions and also gotta be able to get dirty and clean when you need it

How do they react to feelings of guilt: Previously they bottled them up, but more and more they are learning to talk to others about that guilt. Ultimately she always feels guilty for something

React to betrayal: Depends on the person buuuttttt, angry, blames themself for part of it, tries to move on quickly

Greatest achievement: MOCHA

Too little sleep: quiet and most likely taking a nap in the skeleton’s arms. That's If she is actually tired. Shel heals fatigue in an instant.

What are they like a drunk: If she drinks and gets drunk and that's a big if she becomes an I love you drunk and we'll just tell everyone what she likes about them before passing out.

Music likes: A lot of Rock and techno music, a little bit of pop only because it fits.

Right or left-handed: She always works with her hammer in her right hand.

Fears: Being completely alone, losing her friends, losing Mocha, destroying the world, the unknown, diseases, being like her mother

Favorite weather: Nice sunny days with a slight breeze

Favorite color: it’s hard because it's between gold and blue

Collect anything: besides random trophies, rocks that she sometimes gives away.

Hot or cold weather: Hot because you can cool down easily.

Eye color: Goldenish/ yellow

Race/ ethnicity: Well Gremlin in Sekrezia, in the real world through it's between Brazilian and Irish

Hair color: Ginger/ red

Happy where they are currently: Nope, not even a little bit. She's upset because she believes she has possibly doomed the world and has actually found someone she can connect with/ has some feeling for and they just keep backsliding her. She also hates that she has to leave her new daughter.

Mounting person: YES!!! Up early to get shit done

Sunrise or sunset: Sunrise is extremely pretty to watch especially when you can but caves are a thing.

Messy or organized: Like myself, it's a chaotic form of organization

Pet peeves: Jumping to conclusions, mistreating machines

Objects of significant importance: Her forge hammer which is like a badge of office saying she is a member of a smithing guild and her evil eye because a really good friend helped her make it.

Least favorite food: The rock she accidentally tried to eat while she was tired delirious one night in a cave.

Least favorite color: Kelly Green. Look it looks like puke, nothing against other greens but this one ugh

Least favorite smell: Decaying flesh

The last time they cried: mhhh a few weeks but it's gonna be soon. Definitely the birth of her child.

Anybody with them: entire party forMochas birth, but other than that Corren and Alistar

The time they got injured: Well getting crushed by a giant cube was bad, the worst injury would probably be getting dragged into lava by her own creation that she loved.

Scars: Nope none so far that are physical. Some mental ones that she's working through.

Mental health issues: Paranoia, Depression, Suicidal thoughts, low self-esteem, PTSD

Bad habits: Shutting everyone else out.

Why might someone dislike her: SHe can be a bit standoffish and definitely hard-headed.

Why might someone love her: He has a big heart for those she cares about, she's smart and also creates a lot of small gifts that aren't for value but personal reasons.

Believe in ghosts: Literally was in a plane of the dead, soooo yes

Anyone they would trust with their life: Corren, Alistar, Torvid, Simple,

Romantically interested in anyone: Spectra, depends on the person. ACE and Demiromantic

Dating/ Married: Complicated is what it is. Yes dating somewhat but it’s not a good relationship

Like surprises: Yes, surprises are nice and add a bit of fun to life. Other than a somewhat surprising pregnancy.

Birthday: I honestly forget but it's their weave day

Celebrate their birthday: Only with those they care about, which is few but some members of the party yes.

Family: Dad is dead, Mom is alive supposedly but she was supposed to be dead, and sister is possibly dead but in a bit of denial about it

Close to their family: Chosen family yes.

MBTI type: ISTP

Zodiac signs: I forget the sekrezian one but in real life Aquarius

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw

Alignment; Chaotic neutral/ good

Nightmares: Losing the entire party in ways that they caused ore were directly a part of.

View on death: CHanged a lot as their questline has gone on but “Once someone has passed from this world and seen the raven queen and chosen their afterlife that is it, they are at peace and will stay there unless the gods dictate differently. Past a resurrection people should not come back. I have learned this the hard way and watched what happens when you play with death”.

Something they always laugh at: Corren getting flustered and digging himself into holes he can't get out of.

When bored, what do they do: Read a book/ tinker with new experiments

Enjoy the outside: yes, especially new areas where there are unexplored places.

Accent: Somewhat of a german accent but I’m no good at replicating it

Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, the first reaction: “Who left this perfectly good piece of cake here?”

If they knew they were going to die what would they do/ say: Alister: Be a good father to Mocha, Corren: Be a good stepfather to Mocha and make sure Alister stays on the right path, Simple Geoff: didn't like you at first but your apart of my family now, Maple: Live your best life and don't let other people tell you what you can be also given up on revenge it's never as sweet as you think, Lautrec: (Opens box) sorry it took a while, Vlog: “you don't like me, I kinda like you, protect your own but never stop learning and exploring.

Feelings about sex: Mecha doesn’t want sex and feels really uncomfortable with it especially around people she doesn’t know, but around friends, she’s willing to talk about it but will also respect preferences.

Sexuality: questioning, but Grey-ace

Squeamish around blood: Nope “ I saved a man that had a lethal arrow through his neck”

Anything they find gross: Living hair/ hair constructs

TV trope: Reclusive nerd with a big heart

Enjoy helping people: Yes she really likes to help those who need it, but if she believes you can help yourself she will leave you to it.

Allergies: Seasonal/ pollen

Pet: Multiple constructs that range from a skeleton to a walking piece of glass

Quick to anger: No, she has somewhat of a calm head that eventually boils over and then causes a big yelling fight/ random actions such as throwing a stick of dynamite in a graveyard.

How patient is she: Rather patient especially when listening, not the greatest responder though

Good at cooking: Hell yea they are, give them a pan and they'll make you a feast

Favorite insult:” I'm coming for your knees” “Don't make me get the fume engine”

How do they act when happy: Huge grin on their face and they start fidgeting.

What do they do when they learn about others’ fears: Tease them slightly in private but keep the information to themselves.

Trustworthy: yes and very loyal to her friends.

Do they try to hide their emotions: Definitely but not always the greatest at hiding them cause everyone has a great sense of motive.

Exercise regularly: We walk and adventure every day while she carries probably over 25lb of mechanical items so yes.

Comfortable with the way they look: Mhh sometimes, but not always. She really doesn't like that she reminds herself of her sister or that she has distinct eyes.

Features they find attractive on others: Not really features, she's more into personality but she does like people’s eyes.

Personalities they find attractive: Protective, Kind, Smart, honest, loyal.

Do they like sweet foods: definitely into the sweeter things in life,

Age: in sekrezia: 204, equivalent age is like 45-55

Tall or short: 3ft pretty short but and on the shorter side of her race

Glasses or contacts: Nope just a cool ass blindfold and no it's not for BDSM

Consider herself attractive: Nope, not at all. SHes surprised if someone likes her in that way.

Sense of humor: Both dark and sexual but at the same time dad jokes as much as possible. Also random improv she comes up with on the spot, which is slightly me

What mood are they in most often: THe mood of trying to figure out how something works

What angers them: Hurting children, hurting the party, destroying art and machines, using others to your own gain, rape, slavery

Outlook on life: “Life is full of twists and turns. There is never bad without good. Take your time and really think about what you do, but don't forget to also just let go and go wild every now and then.

What makes them sad or depressed: THinking of their family/ friends being gone, children with no home, Mocha growing up alone.

Greatest weakness: Turning the mind against them/ lack of belief in herself and that she is not responsible for the world.

Greatest strength: Open mind and somewhat open heart.

Something they regret: not letting them self grieve for pax in a different way than hunting them down and screwing the world.

Biggest accomplishment: Having a kid

Hope for the future: open an orphanage and continue helping the Fucks make the world at least a little brighter.

[alphapockets]

Discord: New Message Infodump

Yes this is not getting put in the widofjord tag because I don’t like filling up others’ searches with something that is not “directly” linked. *jazz hands* anxiety. BUT here is all I could think of and a sprinkling of things I have seen asked about or mentioned in the comments! May this and the last chapter hold you over <3

Q: Why a text fic?

A: Honestly? I have only ever seen one from VM (there may be others, but I don’t read many fics out of my niche sections?) that was between Grog/Vax (I don’t ship it but when it’s a bar shift #3 in a row that’s 14 hours long, you need entertainment). I had read also Call Me, Beep Me from the VLD fandom as well as Misuse of Stark Technology and thought that it was a strong platform for conversation and storytelling that shows multiple perspectives at once without the constant POV whiplash that can happen otherwise. And with the strong and chaotic personalities of TM9 and the diverse ways the NPCs interacted fit in, I hoped it wouldn’t be that hard to pull off.

I’ll be honest, I was not sure if it would work out or catch on as it is not the most popular form of storytelling. As many people said in the comments of chapters 1-5, people generally don’t enjoy texting fics and skip past them. I am glad I took the risk and that everyone has with me.

 Q: Is it true you have not watched past Ep. 40?

A: Yes. Campaign 2 came out just before I started school, and I decided school deserved my full attention. I was also not as attached at large with the cast as an ensemble as I was with VM. This combined with having anxiety and needing something to be finished before I can enjoy made it difficult to get back into C2. I was lucky that I started Campaign 1 a few weeks before that ended. I will probably watch it when everything is over, but I mostly follow through spoilers and Arsequeef’s gifs.

 Q: What are some of your influences for this?

A: I have seen a lot of people loving the realism of the conversations. I don’t watch TV or movies, but I watch streamers mostly, especially group streamers. Because of this, I tend to hear nothing but natural conversations. I also have been in group chats since the old AIM days and was a bartender for 6 years, so I have pulled from interactions that I have experienced around me. Often when something perfect happens in a chat with my friends I screen shot it for use later (the look spam and how do you uwu are both examples).

 Q: Why that area?

A: I like to use locations I know well if there is a lot of real-world interactions. I am from Massachusetts and I had used Savannah, Ga., for Here’s To Us, where I lived for 4 years.

 Q: Will the chat be renamed to The Mighty Nein or something similar?

A: No. The chat existed before Caleb as that and was set up originally by Fjord and Beau with Molly, Bryce, Darrow, and Yasha. It’s been the Game Hoes for too long in their life to change. There will be some side chats that appear and disappear.

  Q: Didn’t Veth work with Caleb?

A: Originally that was the plan, but halfway through the first chapter, I decided to space everyone out better and missed her name in one paragraph at the beginning of the chapter. I wanted them to know each other but avoid the trope of “direct connection” with strangers to lovers and text fics.

  Q: How tall is Fjord (and the rest of them by proxy)

A: I changed the heights because Caleb is canon “Average height” which in DnD is different than the US. So, he was given a few extra inches to put him at 5’10”. Fjord was scaled up because we love height differences to 6’3” because of that. By order of height:

Veth- 4’11, Kiri- 5’, Keg and Yeza- 5’3, Jester and Rissa- 5’4, Astrid- 5’5, Bryce, Beau, and Wulf- 5’9, Beau, Caleb, Molly, and Ava- 5’10, Yasha- 5’11, Darrow and Essek- 6’, Fjord and Gunther- 6’3, Cad and Enzo- 6’5.

I’m probably forgetting some people.

  Q: Why did Enzo’s arc allegedly end that way?

A: I’m not sure I’m done with him just yet, but the reason it had to be let go like that is simple: legality. Real world consequences to acts would have kind of thrown a wrench in how this all unfolds. And Molly was the character who I felt could bounce back the best from getting a solid ass kicking.

  Q: Why was Astrid faster at accepting than Wulf, and why is he so possessive?

A: Wulf was Caleb’s first real friend and that meant he was the redhead’s world. Astrid came second and she realized how quickly jealousy can sour something. Wulf’s jealousy fed into the break-up. So, despite the awkwardness, she wanted to show Caleb that she meant it when she said they could still be friends.

Wulf was Caleb’s first friend, and he has that sense of seniority in his mind and has a hard time accepting he is not being replaced when new people come around. And as a more dominant person, it was hard for him to have the normally docile friend speak out against him. He is still immature and needed to grow, but has a hard time seeing that is okay right now.

  Q: Where does everyone attend?

A: Amherst College- Astrid, Caleb, Essek, Wulf. Boston College- Cad. Emerson- Beau, Gunther, Enzo, Fjord, Keg, Molly, Rissa, and Yasha. Princeton- Bryce. Hofstra- Jester and Kiri. UConn- Yeza (Graduated). UMass/Boston University/Tufts- NPCs not brought in yet.

**Caleb has stated Jester lives in the City early on because Jester has all her locations on social set to NYC

 Q: Any reason why you picked those schools?

A: I’m a BC fan (and Providence College), my childhood friend went to Emerson, and I was accepted to Hoftstra before I joined the military instead. Amherst was a perfect “nearby” city that was another college town/I am maybe looking at Amherst for a PhD. Program.

 Q: Where is Darrow stationed when not crashing Bryce’s life or deployed? What does he do?

A: Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. He was attached to the 26th MEU (Marine Expeditionary Unit) that goes through the Mediterranean. He currently is on hospital duty as a temporary “relaxation period” for people who are deployed often. As he is a paladin, I thought it’d be a nice touch to have him as an FMF Corpsman.

  Q: Where is everyone from? The holidays showed people all over and it’s mentioned some people were not born in the US or where they were located.

A: This is where that spreadsheet I made comes in handy. Most of the people either grew up in or intend to stay in Massachusetts for a long while. As there are some of the major schools in that area, obviously people would be out of state.

Boston TM9 Party

The Clay Family is in Jamaica Plains, which is just outside of Boston proper. They are from there, minus Toya who is adopted as well and from Maine.

Molly was the godson of Cad’s mother, who is from England and his father had been stationed in England for some time, so when he was essentially orphaned and given up by the indirect family, she put through the paperwork to take him in. Fjord and Yasha stayed with them.

Fjord is originally from Texas, outside of El Paso. After he joined the Navy, he never intended to move home as he hated it there. He fell in love with New England when he was sent TAD (Temporary Assignment of Duty) to the naval base in Newport. He stayed and continued his education at Emerson.

Yasha is from Jamaica Plains as well and went to school with Molly and Ornna, who is the same age as them. Her dad is from South Carolina and her mother is from Okinawa. They moved up north for her dad’s work.

Beau is from Kentucky and her family is unreasonably wealthy. She decided to go to school someplace as un-Kentucky as she could fathom and was stuck between Berkley and Emerson but chose the former because the weather meant her mother would never visit.

The Amherst Crew (Astrid and Wulf) are all from the area except for:

Caleb, was born in Poland to a Polish/German family. They moved and when his family died in a fire (he was at a sleepover at the time) his grandparents took him in. Wulf was still there with his large family and

Essek had returned home to California for the break.

Astrid and her family spent 10 days in Key West for the holidays, which is why she missed the New York trip. Wulf stayed locally for winter break.

The Conn/NY/NJ Groups are pretty straightforward.

The Brenattos stayed in New Haven, where they moved when Luc was born from Amherst. They had moved so Veth could start fresh.

Jester was surprised by a visit from her mother on Christmas Day and spent it with her. It was the first time her mom came from the Ukraine, as Jester’s dad is the one who she moved with. She lives on Long Island not far from her school.

Kiri is from upstate New York and was home for the Holidays.

Bryce drove down to Louisiana. They and Darrow are from Marietta, but they were at their grandmother’s place in Lafourche Parish. Darrow returned to Jacksonville NC.

Others Keg and Gunther were in Rhode Island but separately, where they are both from, Rissa is from Maine and went home, and Enzo was in jail (he is from Lynn, Ma).

  Q: How old is everyone?

A: 5- Luc. 19- Kiri, 20- Jester, Rissa, Keg, and Enzo, 21- Beau, Molly, Yasha, Essek, and Astrid, 22- Caleb, Cali, Reani, and Wulf. 24- Cad, 25- Fjord and Bryce. 27- Veth and Darrow. 28- Yeza.

  Q: If Fjord has the GI Bill why does he live on campus or have a job?

A: For those who don’t know how the GI Bill works, the government pays for education and sends some money based on housing in the zip code of the school. Boston is insanely expensive and student living is easier. Essentially, he wanted the “college experience” and it was cheaper. He needs the job more because he knows better than to let himself get idle. If he does, he won’t focus on school. Like Travis, my Fjord has ADHD.

  Q: How did Veth and Caleb meet?

A: In a Juvenile’s in-patient program for at-risk teenagers and those suffering from mental health issues. Caleb’s depression and anxiety following the death of his parents and the constant bullying for numerous things and previous attempts or ideations had him labeled “at risk” for self-harm. He was in for 3 weeks. Veth was in for her kleptomania and possible signs of disruptive BPD or other developing personality disorders but aged out of the youth section when she turned 18. As most diagnoses cannot be done for those until adulthood, she was being watched for early onset signs.

  Q: How did Jester/Veth get into the group?

A: Jester met Beau, Yasha and Molly at NYCC two years’ prior in line for a panel. They met again at Anime Boston after exchanging Twitter handles a few months later. Jester had worked NYCC a year ago and helped Veth to a quiet room for Luc, who was fussing, then stayed with her as she was on break soon. She invited Veth to play a few games of Don’t Starve Together with her and Yasha before she was brought into the main group.

  Q: This is a really diverse cast. What is everyone and why?

A: Some were obvious choices such as Caleb being from Germany, Jester being from Eastern Europe (Ukrainian), and Molly as Irish (and English).

Others I did to flush out to make a group in a major city make more sense. Wulf and Astrid both have French/ Germanic backgrounds because in canon, they were raised in a similar way. Astrid is Jewish along with Caleb to hint at why it may have been easier for them to date if her family was stricter than his.

Fjord and Yasha faced some racial issues early on in the show (Yasha from where she was from and Fjord for being a half orc), so I wanted them to be people of color. Yasha is half Japanese because of her name and because US troops often marry someone from Japan when they are single and stationed there. Her father is Jamaican in decent. Fjord’s dad he figures is Black but they’ve never met, as his mother’s side are Mexican. I chose that because I wanted to keep the Texan because a lot of people in the service are from Texas. Also, as previously stated, I had too many naturalized or foreign students already and needed to not stress over how they would be around for the breaks.

Cad is English, Norwegian, and Swedish because Cad is a god, who why not make him a Norse god? Veth is half Cambodian partially because there is a decent population size in Massachusetts. Beau is the not white-passing cousin of her family which will come in later because rich families have secrets, yo. Her family has some Cajun/Creole in her like Darrow but it shouldn’t be there according to her family lineage. 

Essek is Persian, Rissa is Puerto Rican, Bryce and Keg are “Confused American Mixes” of everything. Cali I have not decided yet, but will probably have some English in her, Reani I have decided on Moroccan. Kiri is Korean. 

Enzo is an asshole (he’s also mix of random European heritage.) I feel like I missed someone.

  Q: Is Widofjord the only pairing we will see?

A: There are some others forming, including BeauYasha, which was one of the possibilities when I started. Molly/Essek/Astrid were a shock and some others I won’t spoil just yet are starting to bud as hopefuls.

  Q: Do you have an end game in sight?

A: Honestly, as this whole fic has taken on a life of its own, not entirely. It was originally mapped out to be 12 chapters long and have much of this condensed down with all the side characters removed, no Enzo or hockey games, and the extra fluff cut out. As I wrote it, I found I enjoyed that almost more than the Widofjord specifics. So, this has really evolved away from a Widofjord ONLY fic, I am aware. Endgame wise, when I feel the story is told, I will wind it down, but there are more elements evolving with every chapter and I want these characters to get the moments they’re aiming toward. I also don’t want it to drag on too long, so I know that this will eventually come to an end.

 Q: Did anything change relationship wise while writing?

A: 100%. Beau and Jester were originally who I expected to pan out, but my Jes couldn’t seem to devote to that because she had developed more attraction to Molly and Fjord than I expected. Beau and Yasha just clicked better. Molly was the next option for Jester, but then I decided to make Essek and Astrid actual friends with the TM9 and we see how that went.

 Q: Is Jester going to find something happier? It kind of sucked seeing her so down and withdrawn these last few chapters. And where is Nott’s role now?

A: I am trying with Jessy. I am. Here’s to hoping she behaves? As for Nott, she is shining as the mom friend, but her coming into the fray more means bad things are happening. And yes, that is on the way.

 Q: You keep hinting at something in both Caleb and Fjord’s pasts. Are we ever going to see that?

A: Yes. I am trying to space out the angst as much as possible. This was never meant to be a hurt/comfort type story, but people have mental health issues and those because pivotal to the story more than I intended. Maybe the curse of having complete access to everyone’s conversations? But they will be coming out.

[callyrose1986]

my reality is a fantacy

MY REALITY IS A FANTACY  

Its beginning of April and I've been hearing voices since my birthday last September, I can't say I had the best time of my life... I decided to type it all down of what I went through, let me break it down for you, one day around my birthday I decided to read a few tarot cards online and the more I did they showed the same outcome, that I was to meet my twin flame, twin soul or/and soul mate, not sure if it's all in one or if it's just one of these, that I'm not sure of, now for those of you who don’t know what that is a twin fames or the others twin flame is when one soul splits into two, not sure exactly what twin soul is other what it sounds like, seems to me it is the same thing like the twin flame, soul mate is just that, a mate for your soul, look it all up for yourself.  

For some odd reason I begin to hear voices of a women and she helped me get better at hearing them I can't say exactly what she did I can't remember, I have the worst memory anyway though this times of readings I figured out who my other flame was and I don’t know if it was fate or dumb luck but it was my celebrity crush.... Imagine that, I have no idea who or why it turned out to be him but I was constantly told that I could manifest my desires and welp.... take that as you may I have no idea myself what is truly going on in my life right now..... only the gods and answer that messed up bit of information, not that I'm a religious person I prefer to spiritual instead.  

I tried to contact him online his name was Tom Hiddlston, I had a crush on him since I first saw I'm in the superhero movies when he played Loki in the Thor, tall dark and handsome was my type, I then fell for him even more once I got to know the actor, well as much as I could get to know him behind the silver screen. Anyway, I was reading pictures from his hashtags on Instagram like you read tarot cards and then I would post a reply and put it in Tom’s @page and I would get something like a reply... I could hear him in my head too and then for some reason he told others it turned into something like a little game them who turned out to be the cast of avengers.

it went over pretty good on his side, but unfortunately on my side when I broke it to my mother.... I made one of  the biggest mistake I ever made...deciding to walk from my small town of Coulhurst all the way to the city of Lethbridge to go to chapters. Where I thought the tort card where hinting I would meat Tom, not that I actually though I would I just wanted to go, and they were egging me on to go, something else that I could inform you all about is that there is many different realities not just the one you live in and unfortunately that mean that there are many, many different versions of ourselves and unfortunately, I did not contact just my version of Tom Hiddlston but I contact all of the others two, I have no idea how I managed that... the one that came was not my Tom from my world but from another and that means I could not see him.  

I still don’t know if I have talked to the Tom from my world, I guess I won't know till I get the chance to meet him in person, if that ever happens of course, let's see... I died in other reality's more times than I could count, mainly because I can't remember, being stabbed in the back by a trickster god called Loki a few dozen times and I don’t mean from the Norse mythology I mean by the Loki from the marvel movies, ya because that’s a thing....  

Everything you watch is a window to another reality and dreams are something of the same, now there is more like I can put myself into movies and shows I watch and I can hear what the characters are thinking and saying, not to mention in the begging I thought whatever I do in my mind what actually happen in the other reality's I was thinking I was in, now I changed that it just everyone imagining it but not really having it happen, I did a lot of not so nice stuff and still do but at least it's not real, I was sent to hell a few times wish I know what heaven was like, think I got jipped on that one, worst thing I ever did really was sole chock from when I was at school and church, I did watch some porn that was not meant to be watch by anyone's eyes and played some pornographic games but I don’t think I'm meant to go to hell for it...  

Apparently the ‘devil’ just wanted someone on one time, I brought myself back to life as soon as I knew I was dead, well eventually sometimes, it was just tiering having to do that all the time, oh by the way I can do that bring myself back it along with anything else you can think of, I can do anything I want too in other realities, does not work in my reality but then again I can't be killed by other people from other realities in my reality, also I got murdered on my way to chapters stabbed and molested by some random guy still not sure about the whole story behind that one my mother found me walking still to the book store in my reality, that was a trip I tell you, before I was picked up I somehow jumped into other bodies of the actors who had flown down with Tom and had found me at my house.

I did end up at the store but of cause no one showed up, that was one journey I won't soon forget, I  found out that my other selves where from other realities and that characters I created comes to life, like since tv and movies characters where once created, I was not sleeping and was not eating but I was not tiered or hungry but for a girl who did not have the  waite I didn’t need to louse more of it.

I was seeing signs of that my house was evil and that the color red was bad and everything that was ‘dark’ needed to go so I got rid of mostly everything I had in my room that was considered ‘dark’ on top of that lost a caption America sweeter and Tom Hiddlston doll and Spiderman figure and almost lost my phone, it was found  thankfully but not the others.  

Among all the other versions of me there is a few evil characters evil clowns evil demon things a robot some zombies some vampires and a dnd character and an original character called Cally, among others I'm not sure about, one of them is called the moon goddess who has the power to have everyone fall in love with her looks, and it leaks out into me so others from the other universes feel overly attracted to me because of her, there is an off switch but it keeps turning on and she says it's not always her doing it, I'm not sure if I should believe that, Tom has the same thing but I won't know that till later, names the sun god, I'm not too fond of that one, my fault for calling him the sun to my moon, nether one of them where exactly what I though them to be.

it wasn’t just that everyone was attracted it was harassment and no one would take no for an answer I was raped in a lot of realities, it's gotten better but still not perfect yet, they are lucking they didn’t die from doing that to me.  right after I when walking to the book story my mother had me admitted to a mental health facility, where they drugged me up to take away the voiced, it worked but on the down side I could not eat I could not sleep, I was shaking uncontrollably and it was worse than when I was home,  I just didn’t feel the need to sleep or eat at home.

I was drooling from the shot they game me and I was losing wait because I could not swallow the food, it was not a fun time, I was there for about a month after that I want in to shasha house and I was therefore a day or two and they took me to the hospital to see if they could figure out what was wrong with me, they gave me something for the shot I took to get rid of the voices since that’s what was making me have side effects, it didn’t take long for me to feel better, I was in the hospital for about a week or something close, after that I was at my sisters for a few days, meanwhile my mother had got something called global amnesia from the stress.

Then I was back to shasha house I was there for about a week or two and was thinking of the voices again, I haven't heard from anyone since I had that shot but even with everything that happen I still wanted them back I was lonely I liked talking to them I liked talking to Tom, you may think I'm stupid to start this all over again but I don’t give a damn! This time I would tell no one, have it be my little dirty little secret, don’t really remember how I got them back but I did, I didn’t get the right ones though I didn’t know that, I have been going through so many to find the one from my reality, there is no real way to find out who is Tom from my reality I've told Tom who loves  me by now that maybe we should meet at a comic expo somewhere where I can get to, so in Canada hopefully in Alberta.

let's see this second half I got stepped a few times again and mind f*cked a couple of time no more evil things like seeing red and thinking devil is after me, no more going to hell or dyeing, we tried merging all the realities but didn’t work tried to merge all the Toms still don’t know if that works to our advantage or not. I still have my highs and lose, I've run across the first group a few times and they are merged with a Tom who is now called God... btw I HATE HIM!!! Fuck the sun god GOD, ‘GOD Tom’ IS THE WORST!!! I will MURDER THIS BASTERED WHEN I SEE HIM because he lied about being the ‘REAL’. I also decided to stop giving ‘second’ chances to the villains, they just don’t learn.  

I'm sure there is more I could say but that’s it for now, I still haven't seen anything of Tom going to a Con near me yet, I still have a few weeks to go till I go.  

[collectoroflovelythings]

Nobody Asked for It but I Want to do It So Here’s My TAZ liveblog

Wasn’t going to do this but I realized I had too many thoughts I needed to get out, this one is just my general thoughts on the first sixteen episodes, from here on out I’ll be doing one for each arc (that’s what they’re called right?)

My general knowledge of TAZ is more words than plot points: umbrellas, ravens, grim reaper, fantasy Costco, I’ve had a few things spoiled but I’m the sort of person where you could explain the entire plot of something and the next day I’ll forget everything

I pronounced Takko wrong when I first saw it spelled and I’ve known the correct pronunciation for a while but it still autocorrects in my head the wrong way every time I see it

Griffin’s a pretty good dungeon master for this being his first time doing it, and he throws out a really cool ideas and concepts. It’s very imaginative and doesn’t feel like a traditional vaguely medieval based fantasy show

I had no clue there was a whole gag of Taako figuring out what tacos are and that whole idea is absolutely hilarious

Killian was a character I hadn’t heard of before I started listening to this and I really like her

Fantasy Costco is just as funny as it sounds

The whole mystery on the orient express style arc is a really cool idea, also they are literally the worst people to solve a mystery (can I call them the Tres Horny Boys already, IDK)

So far my favorite is Lup, but also I’m really liking Angus

People have said the first few episodes of TAZ are slow and aimless but I really don’t mind that. It has a really intimate feel of just a family goofing off playing DnD. I’ve been watching other stuff that’s pretty emotional (namely A Crown o Candy and the last few episodes of The Owl House) so it’s super nice to just have something chill to listen to during my lunch break

I’m sorry if this is really messy, I’m doing this after the fact, the next couple will be a bit longer and more organized

[portable-wing-wang]

Gender, Sexuality & Me

Right, here goes.

I've never properly talked about my gender or sexuality on here and feel as if I need to clear things up for friends, family and even myself.

Of course I'm very gender positive, I think everyone should explore themselves thoroughly in order to better understand their place in this world. What I experience will be different from other people and I may even disagree with others who share my experience as everyone is different. Just good to clear the air before we continue.

My name is Will(iam) Kirton. I was born at 1:04 AM on the 10th of April 2000. I was born with male attributes and was such designated a "boy". I have little problem with this. A baby knows itself very little and cannot comprehend itself properly and so adults assign labels which, for the most part, do help with development as a child is introduced to social spaces (schools etc.).

When young, gender means little and so I thought little of it. I never felt apart or different from my schoolmates. I did however feel uncomfortable and didn't know why. Constantly feeling as if I wasn't explaining myself properly and getting confused easily. I was bullied for this by many of the other boys and when trying to defend myself, I was made an outcast. This led to me to very female dominated spaces.

I tried my hardest to join the other boys (as I thought I was supposed to) but time and time again, I'd be pushed away. I did, however, make good friends with a few boys a couple of which I'm still friends with today. But my fondest memories come from my friendships with the girls and how they shaped me as a person.

I didn't know it then but through them I began to question myself, sub-conciously at first but very soon after it started to dominate my thinking. By the age of 14 I knew something was off for sure, but I didn't know what, so I started researching to find an answer.

First, I started to look at trans-folk and see how they saw it."Trans," Such an illusive word. To me it seemed so simple to begin with. Someone wanted to be something else because they felt uncomfortable. I felt uncomfortable. "Maybe there's something in this?" I thought, so I kept digging here and there with little motivation until I was about 15 when GCSEs took over and I didn't have time to think about it much until the summer of 2016. The thoughts came back in a big way. Why? I started going to parties.

Now it may seem a little silly but getting drunk and forgetting to hide myself allowed me to express myself in ways I'd never had the chance to before. Mannerisms began to appear that I wasn't controlling intentionally. I started speaking differently, stopped feeling like I had to explain myself and started having fun. This was the next big step of my self-discovery.

I then started playing DnD. Now, laugh if you wish but I had a human bard character names Steve who I categorized as a projection of myself if a little exaggerated. While playing as Steve, those mannerisms I gained started to take over even when sober. This was the last proof I needed to know I was queer but I didn't know what labels to use. I settled with saying I just had "queer tendencies" and left it at that but I still felt uncomfortable when I wasn't playing Steve.

So, I'm definitely queer, that's for sure but what kind?

I'm researching properly now. And not just gender, but sexuality as well. Bi, pan, gay, ace, etc.. I looked up everything and kept finding new labels. To help ease my brain, I focused on sexuality first. I knew I liked girls but I also liked boys however both in different ways. I timidly said I was bi for a couple years and then came out properly soon after my 18th birthday. I felt comfortable. For now . . .

I was still, however, confused. I couldn't work out whether I was a boy or a girl and it kept making everything else seem so confusing. At this point (16 or so) most of my good friends were male, I was decent at sports and I had a big ol' bass voice. BOY, right?

But there was something still bugging me.

I couldn't figure it out. Not until the summer before Uni, something slipped into place. I had completed my A Levels, I was out as bi, my shitty friends had left me, all was good. Wrong. I was more tense than ever. All I could think about was gender. Gender this, gender that. Constantly thinking, even with the distraction of the Edinburgh Fringe. I was also listening to a lot of Steam Powered Giraffe who, of course, have a trans woman playing the "Rabbit" character. I was obsessed. I wanted to find out everything about her and luckily, she posted a whole set of videos cataloguing her transition and thoughts all the way through. Finally, someone was essentially saying to me clearly what "trans" actually meant. Things began to make sense. I knew then that I was probably not cis but i didn't really feel comfortable saying I was "fully" trans, if you get my meaning.

But then I went to Uni. I finally had a chance to express myself freely and boy oh boy, did I do just that. I became so much more feminine than I ever had been in my life. It was so freeing. But I still didn't feel trans.

Then, someone introduced me to the concept of being "non-binary". A new term. I hadn't heard of it before. Is it like being trans? Or something completely different. I dived in head-first and came out the other end with even more answers but so many more questions.

Finally, I took the plunge (I'm sorry for so many swimming metaphors).

One evening in February 2019 after Uni I was in the loo before a musicals rehearsal. I hadn't felt well all day and was wearing something particularly feminine and caught myself in the mirror. I studied myself for a good few minutes. Each detail, each curve, how my body felt and looked in the clothes I was wearing. I stood there staring. Luckily no one walked in on me.

And something just clicked. After so many years of worrying and tensing, I finally understood. I was genderqueer.

Now, I should explain (here I go again), I didn't just decide then and there. I few months prior, my new uni friend "tom" (she goes by a different name now) had introduced me to a youtuber called Contrapoints. Before anyone says anything, I know she's caused a lot of discourse but I don't feel as if this is the right time to make any cases. Anyway, she didn't used to be openly trans and used to go by the label genderqueer. At the time, she made a very comprehensive video explaining what is and what it meant for her.

It intrigued me so, naturally, I did some more research and found that it fit my situation quite adequately but I didn't feel comfortable falling myself "genderqueer" yet either.

For those who don't know, genderqueer is an umbrella term for a wide range of traits which are either predominantly female, male or androgynous. It doesn't necessarily have a perfect definition and can be different for anybody who identify themselves as such.

My own genderqueerness could be described as a complete rejection of the male binary and so I carry more female and androgynous traits. This affects the way I speak, move my body, dress and my perspective on greater society. I also experience gender dysphoria. Now, to some, this would mean I was most likely just trans and using this a stopping-point before going further. This I feel is not the case. Whilst I am made uncomfortable by my flat chest, copious hair and broad shoulders, I do not feel the same about my genitalia or Adam's apple.

There are also more political connotations with the term genderqueer over non-binary. Genderqueer is a lot more aggressive but it gets the point across more clearly but I wouldn't say I wasn't non-binary. In fact, I think they're one and the same in practice but I do use my identity as a statement and so the genderqueer label feels more appropriate.

So yeah, I came out as genderqueer that February evening. First to my partner, then my friends and only now, almost a year later, am I attempting with my family.

I am so much happier for it too. I kept myself hidden for so long and have only now started to just accept myself and give in to the voice in my head telling me to let go. I'm much more relaxed too. Since coming out and using more neutral and even feminine pronouns, my dysphoria has become less of an issue. I still get it and I have bad days of course but for the first time in a long time, things are looking up.

I can't change the world, but I've been able to find myself in it more clearly and that helps a bunch.

TL;DR: I'm genderqueer. I'm bisexual. I've been out for a considerable time now and feeling better because of it.

Anyway, if you did read the whole thing, thank you. I'm not saying this'll be the same forever but this is me now and I'm still breathing so come get me world!

Feel free to reblog this, I hope it helps others realise themselves too.

[hollowphobia-casual]

The Amazing World Of Friendship Part MMXIX, The Return Of The Rising Awakened Empire

It’s that time of year again! The time I let down my defences and expose my emotions bare to all my friends so that I may thank and gush all over them, because despite my cynical hate filled shell, deep, deep, deep, deep, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep down I’m actually someone who just wants to be loved, maybe.

But joking and honest truths disguised as jokes aside, there is something I would like to say, most of the time.., I feel like I have imposter syndrome, not regarding my art and my work, but with my friends! I have SO many wonderful friends and I honestly love them to bits and yet every year due to work, time zones, time schedules or just my inability to start a conversation I don’t get to talk to them or they go neglected for ages and I hate that so much about myself. My friends, all of them, are such wonderful people and they deserve so much better than what I give them, I love you guys, so very much..., I’m sorry for being such a terrible friend.

THAT SAID! It’s time to embarrass these lovely losers by letting them know just how much I care, kukuku.

@articbleu​ [Twitter]

Hah! Speaking of friends whom I’m constantly feel like I am neglecting, where do I begin without feeling like I’m treading over the same ground? You are one of the many artists whom I consider an inspiration, your dedication, drive and sheer will is aweing inspiring, like, I dunno if I can ever get over how much I think about it, I remember a time where we were both almost at the same level and now you are off doing who knows what, last I checked, you were studying in Korea, which is awesome, I’m so happy for you. But when ever I’m working and I feel like I can’t achieve, I look to you and tell myself, I can do better. I dunno if we’ll ever talk like we used to, so much time has passed since we last spoke, I dunno if we are the same people and there are times when I look back on my past, things I said that I regret and wonder if maybe you shouldn’t be my friend, not because I hate you, but because there are better people than me, who are more deserving of your attention, admiration and so much more, but regardless of what comes and what may happen, you have been or are, my friend and I love you, please, keep shooting like the star you are!

@nightmargin​ [twitter]

Okay, imagine this, so you met this cool girl who likes to draw weird, amazing and beautiful things on Deviantart, you enter a character tournament two with them, you chat about anime and stuff, then just a few years later THEY RELEASE ONE MOST ACCLAIMED INDIE GAMES KNOWN, like Whaaaaa-, there is not a day that goes by I don’t see One Shot stuff like, wha-, I dunno.., and she’s still making stuff it’s fucking incredible, WHY ARE MY FRIENDS SO TALENTED.., hah, go damit didn’t want to be melancholy.. ..,But like, shit, I just want to support my friends and let them know how much I give a shit, just how impressed I am, how happy for them I am but truth is I hardly get to see them, which is not your fault, you are making games, doing art, and having to be a social media presence, it’s exhausting, I understand, I just hope you know that I care still, that when I see your characters around the web, in fanart, in VRchat and other places, it makes me SO happy, I just want to hug you and let you know that you are doing an amazing job and that I couldn’t be more proud of you, I hope you know that.

@doodlediddy​ @doodledittydaisy​ [Twitter]

AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! Okay so, this is a friend where neither of us are to blame for staying out of touch because, HOLY FUCK YOU HAVE A BABY! AAAAA, you made a little person and they are so cute! On the rare occasion I go onto the hellsite that is Facebook, I get to catch glimpses of you and your lovely child, whom I terribly do not know the name or gender of A+ friendship right there, but yeah, GURL, you have an infant and they are precious, I don’t blame you for a second for not being in touch, it feels so weird, not too many years ago you were talking me off the ledge and then you got married, then you got baby fat AND NOT IT’S ESCAPE! I’m so happy for your family, fuck, that’s so weird, it’s YOUR family, not your family, YOUR FAMILY! AAAAaaaaa!

@mistercrowbar​ [Twitter]

I MET HER!, I MET HER!, I MET HER! No you guys don’t understand, I MET CROWBAR AND IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! We looked at beautiful lakes, we watched netflix, We ate burgers, looked at destroyed cranes, went to Ikea, watched more netflix, bought DnD stuff, ate more burgers, tried a beaver tail, more netflix, talked about lobsters and my little pony, looked at fossils, got mad at the ocean, yelled at drivers, more netflix… It was great, I loved it, would sleep on the floor again, 10/10. But Okay so I know that many people would think of Crowbar as intimidating, she’s not an emotionally open person I know, but to be honest it just makes friendship with her special, getting to know her on a level where you can read her is something that is truly treasurable and I’m so lucky to have that, she’s a unique person to love and that’s what's so great about her, she isn’t like everyone else, I wouldn’t change her for anything in the world…, okay maybe I’d allow her let me hug her more so I can tell her how great she is and she can’t flee, haha. I know I get on her nerves sometimes and I’m probably not the best friend on her list, I mean, I’m guessing, but considering how I measure up to some of the other people she knows, I can easily see that, I mean who knows thow, maybe I’m not a tier friend and maybe just a different friend and I just.., haha, I dunno why I obsess over this, how important I am to my friends, maybe because I just want them to be the happiest they can be and when I know I’m depriving them of joy, I question myself. But I am happy for what happiness I do bring to her, the moments I’m useful, when I am needed or just enjoyable company, those are the best moments for me, I’d give anything just to hear Crowbar laugh once every day, that’s how important of a friend she is to me.

@valbey-the-girl​ [twitter]

THIS ASSHOLE! Has been with me since I can remember, which probably annoys him, because I’m not the easiest person to friends with, specially of late, my mood has been all over the fucking place, I’m happy, sad, depressed, angry, frustated and yet he doesn’t complain…, that I know of.., and in return.., I send him lewd christmas gifts that make his parents question him and his life choices. Haha, friendship. But honestly, I like that about him, he’s one of the true people I know that makes me feel like we have a ‘normal’ friendship, we are not overly affectionate, we can speak openly to one another and we don’t like all of them same things and all I want to do is make him laugh and find a game that I’m good at and that he sucks at, because god damit, he seems like he’s an expert at everything, fuck you! I know times right now are tough for you, I can’t imagine it’s easy, shits going down at home, work and there is some asshole asking if your free once every Saturday so you can pretend to be a dwarf, just know if you need anything, you can always ask me, you’ve been there for me, don’t forget I’m here for you.

@dansome0203 [Twitter]

Don’t say how you are terrible friend because you haven’t been talking to him much, you say it every year, Don’t say how you are terrible friend because you haven’t been talking to him much, you say it every year, Don’t say how you are terrible friend because you haven’t been talking to him much, you say it every year,... -checks Script- “I’m a terrible Friend..” FUCK. -inhale- The man I look to for inspiration on cute girls and large boobs! God, I only really got to know this guy at the tail end of my Deviantart carrier before the big move to Tumblr and even then it was less a ‘WE ARE FRIENDS SWORN TO A BLOOD OATH’ and more me oddly poking him now and again, trying to start a conversation failing miserably, a tradition that would continue for about…, nine years…, nine years.. God I am a terrible friend. But enough about my inability to simply converse with people, what can I say about this Dan, he’s fucking great to start with, on the odd times I do actually get to talk to him I know he is nothing more than a chill dude who creates a lovely and warm atmosphere around him that draws people in, he has a fantastic sense of humour which is only equaled by his creative flair, no I’m not talking about the boobs, but more his designs for his characters, colour choices and so much more, I am honestly not joking when I say that I look at this guys work for inspiration from time to time, because I find his designs just that appealing and insightful. I would love for nothing than to just sit in a call with this guy and talk shop, or talk, or anything…, I wanna love you Dan, let me love you!

Gwyn Graham

And right of the gates… I FORGOT WHAT THERE TUMBLR USERNAME IS GOD DAMMIT! So for once me being a bad friend is entirely my fault!, we’ve always had a rocky time zone/schedule conflict even when we use to play DnD with each other, because life sadly, is not easy, fuck I wish it was. But also sadly I dunno what you’ve been up to, I dunno how you have been. I hope you are well and happy, did you get date? Are you on the lamb for murder? Who knows, but I like to think you are happy, I hope you are, I wish that you are.

@taplaos @tapliciousart [Twitter]

I bought three shirts from you and my father ignored the washing instructions so they are now basically ruined.-sigh- That said they are some amazing fucking shirts, so gonna try and be less of a downer here, but yes, like most of my friends, I am terribly out of touch with this wonderful person, HOWEVER, they have been fucking busy, designing some of the sickest Pokemon related merchandise I’ve ever seen, two things immediately come to mind when ever I see their amazing work up on my twitter, one… Why have Nintendo/Game Freak issued a take down notice and second, WHY HAVEN’T THEY HIRED YOU and I don’t mean that in a fanboy sort of, I love you pay attention to me sort of way, I actually mean that, your designs are so appealing, humorous, creative and at the same time, family friendly, like, there is such a demand for Pokemon related merchandise and you are just popping it out like nobody's business, christ, you are too good at this, it’s why I really need to sit down and talk to you about helping me design T-shirts at some point. Honestly, if you haven’t, go check out their stuff, seriously, do it, DO IT NOW!

@tuz-ohtopia @dm-tuz [Twitter] [Patreon]

When I started out I was ‘aware’ of Tuzzy, but I didn’t really know him, it wasn’t until I started getting involved with DnD that I started to know him and that was because he was the DM of my two other friends, so sadly I can never say that me and Tuzo have had the strongest of friendships. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I dislike Tuzo, I think the guy is great, the times we’ve actually spoken it’s been fantastic and talking shop with him was always a highlight, but it just.., amazes me, how I guy I barely knew went from a simple background presence to almost being everywhere I look. For you who don’t know, Tuzo is now a DM for hire and even has a Patreon where he offers up custom monsters, tiles and such, it’s so amazing to see how far he has come, it’s great, even if he has an unhealthy obsession with a lesser version of DnD, haha. I’m so proud of him and his unbound campaign is so enjoyable, experiencing it though his players is incredible and the assets he creates are outstanding, I just wish I had his time management, because I can not create assets to the same level or detail he does. This man has inspired me as a DM, an artist and a creator, and I don’t know if he is even aware that he has done that, Tuzo, keep doing what you're doing, because it’s amazing.

@nickala [Twitter]

Nicki’s Twitter describes her as a wannabe concept artist and an actual scientist and I’m probably the reverse haha, a wannabe scientist, god I love Nicki’s job, I really should talk to her about it, but then again I dunno how much of it she is allowed to openly discuss, she is after all handling human remains, so… I’ve mentioned it before, but I love Nicki, she makes life, make sense and it’s great, but more importantly than that, she’s just.., fantastic, funny, caring, but human. Like she feels so relatable with how she expresses herself, everything comes with a little frustration, a little guilt and honesty, which might sound like a weird thing to admire, but there are so many people these days who want to be fake, they want to be these, ideal versions that don’t exist, trying so hard and it becomes, exhausting and almost impossible to talk to them, because they wear a mask and you don’t know what their true intentions are. But not with Nicki, they talk and you can feel that raw emotion, it’s so satisfying to read text, to hear a voice and just know the complexity of a person, it’s refreshing and I cherish it.., even if I don’t talk to them that often.., I’m a sham of a friend -cries-

@mortooncian-art [Twitter]

I just met this lovely gal this year and…, I’m as bad with talking to them as I am with Dan…, I hope it doesn’t continue for about nine years…, I don’t want to be awkwardly skirting conversations at 37.

Sadly I can’t say much of them as a person, mostly because I’ve only really gotten to meet them this year, the aforementioned being a terrible person/friend, but I can talk about what drew me to them, because I was always aware of Thren? Mortoon?...uh.. Oh god I dunno what to call them..FU- I had always been aware of them since Deviantart and their art was appealing I just never made the leap to try and talk to them, because COWARD, it wasn’t until sometime last year, I can’t recall who but someone was reblogging their work, I believe it was Dan or Calien, it was from his DnD session and her little tiefling was just.., so..fucking CUTE! I loved her and wanted to know so much about her and looking into her work I found more and more cute loveable characters, and I dunno how to describe it, but her art just has this beautiful, cute and sexy charm to it that makes you just want to.. LIKE AND REBLOG IT… So after that, I just wanted to get know her, it seems so stupid thinking about it, liking someones art you think to yourself, hey I want to know this person on a personal level and maybe talk to them! And then, you get it and you clam up due to your social awkwardness and inability to manage a time schedule, haha.. But yes, I’m so glad I’ve been given a chance to talk to her, maybe if time allows it, I won’t screw it up in getting to be her friend.

@clauseart [Twitter] [Webcomic]

Yes, my fellow british artist whom I constantly compare myself against to measure my self success and my constantly conclude my lack of value… ...That’s not a joke I really do do this. Enough about me, I’ve mentioned it before with a few.., or most.., artist here, met on DA and look at where they are now, this girl, this them, this BEAST, started out with a crazy pinwheel and appearing in almost every OCT (Original Character Tournament) you can think of and now, they have an amazing webcomic about an amazing buff ginger and a kid whom I dislike (I’m sorry, I just wanna punch him,). Also a DnD character who seems from a distance seems like the drunk aunt who hates her family children.., I dunno I know nothing about their character and I really should ask someone, but if I’m right I want a gold star. But regardless, I am so proud of them, their creativity and artistic skill seems to have nothing but skyrocketed since the end of the OCT era of our lives and the dawn of tumblr, not to mention the just general progression of their comics, which I will leave a link to and if you don’t read this super funny and amazingly well drawn comic I will.. I really want to say more about them, I do! Sadly, I consider myself a friend, but I dunno if I even have that right, our friendship was very, distant, not in a negative way, but more like someone you chat to in a tescos (For any curious americans think Walmart), and now, I feel like I’m just a one man cheer squad. And honestly, I am okay with that, I get to see them improve and feel proud for them and they have a wonderful life as it is, what's more to want?

@lou0 @hunnylou0 [Twitter]

Lou has been one of my longest…, acquaintances? Okay I’m not saying that Lou isn’t a friend, I mean, I consider her a friend, but I’ve known her since I rejoined DA under the name Clockworkable, since then she’s been a source Joy, laughter, inspiration and to some extent a free expression, but, I could never feel like I was her equal or at least a friend, we were never close, despite how I tried to be.., she’s a difficult person to talk to, which isn’t her fault! Nothing ever seems to go her way, which.. Pisses me off so much, because she’s just a nice, beautiful and kind person who just deserves nothing but affection and I’d love to give it to her, even if it’s just a hug. But I know it can be hard.. That said, I’ve gotten the chance to really talk to her, getting to know her, the true her and it’s as wonderful as you’d think it would be, she is a true expression of her art, joyful, cheeky, funny, playful and kind, sweet, brutally honest, but that’s never a bad thing in my books. I dunno even now if I’m a good friend to her, I dunno if she’d even think of me as one, but I am happy that I’m a little bit here for her, more than I was before, I just want to make her happy.

@sunshinedrago [twitter]

Don’t be friends with this woman, it starts off small like “Oh, would you like to play Final Fantasy XIV?” and then the next thing you know your talking to scottish fairies and questioning your life decisions. I met this crazy spanish.. “ITALIAN!” Italian woman about three.., maybe four years ago? I can’t even remember how we met, like I know we met because we needed someone for a DnD game, but I can’t recall if it was me she contacted or someone else, haha, I’m getting old. Either way it doesn’t matter, because I’m so happy that I did, she’s encouraging, kind, sympathetic, honest and joyful, but more importantly realistic and down to earth, this woman is not a pity party and has introduced me to some of the most important anime and shows I could imagine, as well as help fueled my addiction to some games, a few years back I’d never played an MMO and now look at me...a broken shell of my former self…, obsessing over loot drops and glamorous for a fictional 3D bunny girl…She’s also one of my more active and talkative friends, which helps with my crippling depression haha, I dunno what else to say, It’s not like there isn’t a lot to say, just that I’ve said it over and over again, she’s a great friend and someone I wish I knew sooner, she feels like a friend I’ve always had, but I only met three years ago. Yeah.

@jabbage [Twitter]

What can I say, Smart, dedicated, driven, focused, talented, learned and amazing… ...Yep…, not just saying that because I am terrible friend…, not another example of not staying in touch with people, made worse by the fact they live in england…, nope…, are you buying it yet? I want to talk about how they inspire me, how they fuel my motivation, but sadly I have to just slap myself and twitter, because GURL never appears on my dash, but just.., THEY’VE WRITTEN SO MANY STORIES! H-how! I just.., I can’t get one webcomic done, I am so proud of her because of this, I should just be able to say that, but I don’t want to, I mean I do, I am proud, but I always want to talk about them as a person, I wanna mention times they’ve made me laugh, made me smile, but there is only a fleeting moment in a minecraft server sometime ago and… I am so sorry, for being a bad friend, but you don’t really need me to enrich your life.., JUST LOOK AT ALL YOU’VE ACCOMPLISHED! You are so amazing, one woman army, just AAAAA, so great! I love it, I love you, keep being amazing!, don’t stop! Burn bright, burn far and burn hard! Go!

@flunafloon [Twitter]

I can’t say how much of a bad friend I am again.., please, she deserves better than me, here is the link to her Etsy store.

@daco-taco [Twitter]

God I have a bleeding heart.., I say because I don’t really know Daco, hell I dunno if I even register as ‘friend’, I’ve followed them since Deviantart and I loved their art, for the most part I was content to be just that and then…, I just saw them upset, and fuck me, haha. I hate that I hate people being in pain so much I dunno why it destroys the core of who I am.., so now I’m in a discord server, or trying to be, feeling constantly judge, because I want to make someone happy and I dunno if I am even doing the job. Haha, what does that say about me?

Charanty 

I want to say a lot about charanty, I want to say we were great friends, I wanna say we talked from sunrise to sunset, I want to so badly.., dumb ideas we had, silly jokes we shared, moments of confusion, anger, tears.., bliss, regret.. But sadly I can’t, not that I don’t like them, no no, Charanty is amazing, but like something truly amazing, they are never around all the time, which sucks, because they are truly amazing, creative, beautiful in their mannerisms and perfect in their imperfection. I wish I could enjoy them more often.

ChubbuChu

I have many friends whom I want to be happy, Chubbu probably more than anything and sometimes I blame myself for their sadness, I know I am not the root cause, but I can still blame myself for moments of silence, moments of stupidity and overall not trying harder. Chubbu is.., affectionately irrational and down to earth, the best of times they are infectiously fun to provoke, play with and tease, while at the same time being caring and hopeful, I’ve only had the pleasure of knowing them for this year and even still it feels like I’ve known them longer, but I can’t wait to get to know them more as time goes on, I hope I do, I wish I do.

@hypertronic [Twitter]

Hyper…, Hyper.., “Your a terrible friend again aren’t you?” I mean.., YES, okay so Hyper started off as someone who was a fan of one my characters and since then I’ve had the pleasure of being taken out of the limelight and watching them grow into an amazing artist and COMIC CREATOR, AAAAA, so Park Of Plutonia, Hyper’s comic was a silly little RP group that was on DA, but look at it now! The amazing world she had hidden away in her head, now for you to read and I really recommend you go read it, especially if you want something different and unique, I really want to say more than just ‘go check out her comic’, I really do.

Mon

-breaths- “You were a bad friend again” GOD DAMMIT, YES! You know the saying never meet you idols! Because all you will do is upset them and make them judge you, HAHAHHA, SO! I became aware of Mon thanks to a small show I’m pretty sure NO ONE has heard of called Critical Role, they drew fanart for it quite regularly and I loved it! I even commented on their stuff from time and time, but there wasn’t much to it. Then I had a friend drag me into the world of FFXIV and to my surprise I met Mon…, after like a week or ten before I realised who she was, how would you describe Mon as a person? Like a rabbit doped up on sugar and caffeine, especially when she’s tired, cause then it’s like x2, what I’m saying is Mon is excitable and positive, which sadly doesn’t really gel well with my down to earth, grumpy I hate everything because I can’t act cute attitude that I’ve cultivated. So despite how much you’d think we are friends and how amazing and creative she is, we clash a lot, and honestly I feel like I am just WAITING for the moment, where she declares she has had enough of me and just throws me out of the friendship circle, because…, I know that not all people gel and sadly as much as I want to, I feel like I’m bringing her nothing but pain and I don’t want to do that, she’s creative and amazing, as well as so positive, she doesn’t need someone like me hurting her all the time.  

@spookydraws, @spesiria, @totalobelisk, @ssksscrapboard, @horrorjuice, @riyamilea

“More friend’s you have trouble staying in contact with?” Mmm.. “Amazing wonderful people who you’d love to talk to for days on end, but you are always just too busy for them, too involved in yourself to even say hi?” Yeah.. “Are they even your friends anymore? Are you worth anything to them, I think at this point you should do them a favour and unfollow them, because in the schemes of their lives you aren’t exactly making an impact are you? If anything you slow them down, maybe you are just slowing everyone down? How many more of you ‘friends’ are going to be added to a stockpile of names you can just gush over, because you don’t know them as people anymore, they don’t impact your life and they probably haven’t had a second thought about them?” …, I just think they are amazing people who need to be recongised for how talented and beautiful they are, life is hard and the voices in our heads can be fucking disgusting to us, so everyone just needs a moment, a person to just hug them and them, I love you, I dunno if you even know me but you are so important, don’t forget how important you are and just how meaningful you are, I’m probably just a stranger to you, but you have never for one second not been important to me in some way, I hope you are happy and that you live every second of your life knowing that you are loved by atleast one person. Cause in the end, that’s all we really want isn’t it, we just want someone to tell us that they love us, that we mean something to them, that we are important.

@phantomdotexe [Twitter]

The living definition of too kind for her own good, it’s both your best quality and your worst quality. An amazing talented person who’s managed to influence a small cults worth of people under the ideal of one uniform symbol and then gets upset how she hasn’t done anything with it. I love you to bits, your drive, your kind nature, but at the same time I worry for you, you have so many self defeating thoughts and worries, all stemming from your lack of respect for your own skill and your ability to try and please everyone at once, which can especially be seen with the ‘everyones opinion is valid’ If you made short stories based on your vision or merch, you’d make money in no time, but as it might contradict with someone else's, you don’t. Now I know this is meant to be a ‘I love my friends’ thing, but the truth is I do, I love you so much, but at the same time I have to tell you, you need to stop fretting, you always worried about other people, asking when they are going to bed and such, but then you are equally as bad of the same thing, burning the candle at both ends, rather than trying to resolve any of your problems. As someone who cares, let other people worry and focus on yourself, see you strengths for what they really are and go and make bank.

Plasma-Dragon

Only had the pleasure to speak to you twice on live streams, mostly knew you for your art, I dunno what I can really say? Here, you’re a new friend and I can’t wait to get to know you more… Man this was short.., fuck.., I really wanted to say something else…, uh.. .. .... ....shit

Lady Violi

Man, I wish I drew more personal projects like you did, haha, Okay so, a bit of honesty, when I first saw you on DA I have to be frank and say I didn’t think much of your art back then, but I am so happy to see not only was I proben wrong, but your art had grown incredibly sicne there, no just in scale and scope, but in detail, colour, it’s fantastic, is there places it could use improvement, yeah, but no one is perfect, but that’s enough about you creatively, what about you the person!

Well like I said I didn’t think much at first, but as time went on I became a little intimadated by you, probably cause of my own guilt more than anything else, but, doesn’t really matter, I’m just happy we actually talked, because discussing things with you is always a high light of my day, I’m so eager when your online because have such a nice easy and approach manner of conversation that’s infectious to me, and I love it.

And the best part! It’s only been a year since we started talking, I’m so excited how we’ll grow in friendship as time goes on, I know it’ll be worth it!

---

And.., that’s it, If you actually read through all of these and not just your own, I’d be surpruised, but I’m happy I wrote this, even if my arm hurts, things needed to be said, apologises needed to be made and love needed to be shared, thank you all.

[gem-quest]

[ B A L E S T R A  . . . ]

“A great battle is a terrible thing,“ the old knight said, "but in the midst of blood and carnage, there is sometimes also beauty, beauty that could break your heart.” – George R R Martin

Real Name: Esther Meier (Nicknamed Essie at school, but she hates it)

Age: 19

FC: Alexia Giordano

Species & Class: Celestial Knight

Guild: Moonstone

Description of In-Game Powers: (Sorry this is super long. This is largely based off of DnD Aasimar and Paladins, but without trying to bring in actual divine powers. Instead I tried to make it more centered around a player’s perception of themselves and their actions. If this doesn’t fit with other species or the world, let me know!)

Celestials are what could arguably be defined as a light-based typically Moonstone-aligned species similar to sylphs or fae but without the connection to the environment around them. Instead, they seem to draw power from their own actions and convictions, making them a lot more internal than elemental species. Their path and their thoughts about their path define their progression. This makes their dialogue options, interactions with other PCs, and their approaches to passing certain levels very important in how they develop and the skills they gain. But it also makes their own assessment of their actions pivotal in their direction, unlike many other species. They don’t gain skills just by completing tasks, but based on how they perceive how they completed these tasks. Usually Celestial players tend to go for high Psyche/Charisma stats to boost their mental fortitude and balance. But Balestra doesn’t really understand balance beyond proper footwork. She makes up for this with a high willpower that shot even higher after her return to level 1. Willpower is a double-edged sword for Celestials since it enhances however a Celestial feels about their own actions regardless of whether this has a positive or negative effect, whereas other stats merely increase the potential for a Celestial to regard their action as good or heroic.

The interaction between player actions, player perspective, and leveling opportunities makes them a relatively unpopular species choice except for those gamers who like to save before every major NPC interaction and religiously google the different effects of game routes and encyclopedic lore entries before making any choices. In other words, most people find them tedious with a slow ramp and unpredictable leveling. Now that players can’t exit the game or return to save points, they’ve become pretty rare as they tend to die off quicker. But if they survive long enough and can find a good balance between mental stats, goals, and their class, they can become power houses. If not, they tend to be ineffective or even self-detrimental. An unstable Celestial can be equally powerful, but usually just as destructive to themselves as those around them…whether intended or not.

While they have the ability to learn flight, like sylphs, they have large feathered wings instead of diaphanous insect wings. Unlike fae, some classes of Celestials can even use these as melee weapons or shields, especially with specialized armor. Celestials also tend to have a strong affinity to light and some classes can practice light magic. The power of this is also connected to their perception of their actions, along with stats like psyche and charisma.

Regardless of other stats, Celestials’ main buff is in their luck, which extends to the rest of their party when in close proximity. In truth, Balestra didn’t even want to be a Celestial (or a Moonstone player, for that matter). But her school friends wanted that luck buff, and as always she played along. There was some fault with her copy of the game though, and when facing an attack against her party where she should have died, she ended up using up all of her luck buff (and even her luck stat) to reset to the beginning level while her friends died. In turn, her luck stat points randomly shifted to other traits. She can’t decide if she’s one of the luckiest or unluckiest Gem Quest players. In effect she died. All her items are gone, which happens to dead players. And all of her level progress disappeared. But something happened when she was reset. Not only does she have a luck of zero while still retaining all the negatives of the Celestial species; she lost the wings, flight abilities, and light affinity that are the only other Celestial perks. And moreover (and much more pressing), she can’t seem to use potions or magic on herself. Who knows if she can even get out of the game now if she can’t use Relinquium on herself.

Place of Birth: Berkshire, UK

Appearance:

She is most well known for defeating the wyrm Miro in nothing but the default character attire of white tunic and leather pants (mostly because she was on her second playthrough by then, trying frantically to regain all her lost ground, and partly not caring whether she died or not). While she does have a suit of engraved silver armor which she tends to wear in more active levels, and isn’t opposed to trading out her more martial attire for something a bit more flowy and delicate (god knows she needs whatever charisma bonus she can get on the levels that don’t rely on stabbing things), the beginning character outfit has become a bit of a calling card for her, along with her wild halo of curls. No matter what, she prefers to stick to more medieval or renaissance inspired clothing.

“Delicate in every way but one (the swordplay) God knows we like archaic kinds of fun (the old way) Chance is the only game I play with, baby We let our battles choose us” – Glory and Gore, Lorde

Places Most Likely to be Found In-Game: When not clearing levels, she tends to wander the Valley of Monsters since it’s Destrier’s home level. She’s found he’s easiest to deal with in a setting where he belongs, and becomes increasingly harder to control in more incongruous places (Few can forget that disastrous foray into the peaceful Moonstone haunt of the Gardens of Finvarra where Balestra and Destrier learned that no, eating fae NPCs does not count as eating fairy food. Balestra is needless to say not very popular among her guild). Beyond being known as a strange pariah figure people tell stories about having glimpsed speeding through levels in little more than the default character attire, she has gained a reputation as a pretty capable monster hunter for those in the market for parts but unable to handle battling beasties themselves. So she tends to spend more time in the monster-infested areas of levels than most players.

Current Inventory:

Not really inventory, but has somewhat tamed (keyword somewhat) a griffin she calls Destrier. To her that’s basically naming something horse, but she’s killed so many other mounts that she tries not to get attached. The two get along like a house fire. He has all the worst attributes of cats and birds; namely wanting to steal and then eat anything remotely shiny, wanting to kill and then eat anything that moves whether alive or not, not wanting to eat anything actually given to him as food because he didn’t get to kill it himself, being at once stubborn and proud while impressively lazy, and being altogether too smart for his own good and too stupid for Ess’s.

Halberd x 1

Quicksilver Longsword x 1 (This magical sword has the ability to change forms, shifting between rapier, longsword, knife, zweihander, and other bladed weapons which provide different stat bonuses. But it does have the distinct drawback of slowly poisoning its wielder with every use, lowering their hp and psyche dramatically for a period of time. The more its transformation powers are activated, the longer this effect lasts, which can eventually lead to an almost permanent madness. It has also been rumored to be addictive, causing the user to want more and more to shift between its forms.)

Rope x 1

Fire Salamander Gizzard x1 (Rare drop from Fire Salamanders used as a fire starter. Not as fast or reliable as a potion, and a lot more work to acquire. But if you can’t use potions you learn to make due)

Astragali Fortuna x6 (hippogriff knucklebones covered in runes which must be coated in the intended target’s warm blood to be used. They are rolled and then either buff/nerf a stat or induce the effect of a random potion in the game’s database depending on the symbols rolled. The probability of which potion effect is induced depends on the rarity of the potion. This effect does not last as long as a real potion’s. It is about as often detrimental as helpful to its target and is regarded by most players as unreliable for both personal and offensive use. A high luck score increases the chance of a positive outcome, as in part does willpower. But the exact formula for the RNG behind the item is unknown, and most players regard it as a possibly disastrous joke item.)

Venison Jerky x10

Full suit of armor x1 (she usually just wears bits and pieces since it does tend to lower her dexterity)

Beastmaster’s Gorget x1 (Ess actually isn’t a rider, but she needed that speed of a mount to regain her level progress, and she desperately wants to fly again. So she still uses a mount despite not having any of the helpful traits of a Rider player like knowing where your mount is, being able to call it, or being able to control its actions in battle. The gorget helps limit some of those problems. She thinks of it as a “Rogue Griffin GPS” with a bit of a defence buff. It ties him to her by a certain distance though it doesn’t really force him to obey her at all)

Strongest character trait: Stubborn, and she hates that about herself despite how many times it has saved her.

Strengths: creative and determined when she has a goal. She’s had to go about the game very differently her second time around, but she hasn’t succumbed to any of her handicaps yet and in many ways is a stronger player now than she ever was with her original group as her original Celestial Knight self.

Weaknesses: Conflicted, overthinking, and overly controlled when in reality she’s a lot more instinctive than she allows herself to be. She still has a hard time trusting herself 

Player Stats: (I’m going based off of an average individual stat score being 5, so the average total should be around 50. But if that doesn’t seemed balanced, please let me know! Also, after Balestra used up all of her luck returning to level 1 instead of dying, her luck stat was redistributed randomly to her other stats –hence her having 2 sets of numbers. She thinks of herself like a paladin pre-glitch and something entirely different afterwards. The closest she can think of is cursed).

STRENGTH: 6  || 7

DEFENCE: 5  || 6

CHARISMA: 2  || 2

PSYCHE: 2  || 2

WILLPOWER: 6  || 9

CAUTIOUSNESS: 2 || 2

AGILITY: 8  || 8

ENDURANCE: 6  || 7

INTELLIGENCE: 7  || 7

LUCK: 6  || 0

Destrier Stats: He was once a fightable monster, right? So that means he has to have stats. I just figure he’d have fewer stat points than a PC, so I arbitrarily gave him 2/3 the total points I gave my PC. Again, let me know if that’s unbalanced. Since Balestra’s not a Rider (despite acting like one a lot of the time), she doesn’t get any stat bonus from him. He just does his own thing, which only sometimes aligns with what she wants him to do. She’s only able to marginally control him based on having a higher willpower and charisma, though only barely.

STRENGTH: 7

DEFENCE: 5

CHARISMA: 0

PSYCHE: 0

WILLPOWER: 7

CAUTIOUSNESS: 1

AGILITY: 6

ENDURANCE: 5

INTELLIGENCE: 3

LUCK: 1

Personality:

tld;dr: She’s goal/cause driven but without a cause, has spent so long being a malleable persona shaped by family and peer expectations and status but has found that without that microcosm she’s just a hollow shell reeling with misplaced anger and stifled independence that’s eating her from the inside out. She is quite intelligent and has taught herself to be disciplined despite actually being much more volatilely reactive than she’d like to admit.

Inscrutable, private, and quiet

Determined (when she has a goal, although she gets frustrated and dangerously unpredictable even to herself when she feels aimless)

So used to carefully crafting her image that she’s lost a lot of her internal sense of self and self-worth. She’s also quite comfortable with blanketing herself in little lies rather than show people the more vulnerable reality underneath. This doesn’t always mean she tries to make herself more appealing, sometimes she tries to push others away with lies instead.

Creative and Resourceful

Does best when faced with a problem. She likes solving things, and tends to pull herself together when faced with an external threat.

Vacillates between a guilt complex and a rigid disregard for the effects of her actions. In reality, she’s somewhere in the middle, but it’s unsettling having to face both what she’s done and how she’s not entirely sorry about it in order to actually come to terms with herself.

Overthinker to the extreme, but more because she’s trained herself to be so. In reality she’s pretty instinctive and reactive. But from family, school, and friends she’s learned to gauge every possible effect of her actions before taking a step. This led her to be paralyzed by indecision and more of a follower in real life, but now that she’s on her own and in charge of an even more instinctive and wild creature she’s had to chip away at that protective calculation and just act. It’s terrifying and freeing all at once.

Has a hard time reconciling her softer side with her sharp and harder tendencies. She tends to come off as biting, rigid, and distant but has a softer and more delicate side she tries to bury. 

Quite independent but doesn’t fully trust herself. She’s so used to being part of something and deferring to others that she feels at times lost being on her own. She has cycles of loneliness and defiance where she just wants to push people away and forge her own path.

Has a very dark sense of humor, but she doesn’t let that out for just anyone. She’s gotten most comfortable with Destrier, just by sheer amount of time spent with him and the fact that she has few other people to talk to. Sure, he doesn’t quite talk back, but he has his own brand of snark and the two have a weird back and forth.

“And each man stands with his face in the light. Of his own drawn sword, ready to do what a hero can.” –Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Biography: 

Why was she here? Esther asked that often, as she stared down the slathering maw of some fabled beast with nothing but a halberd between them, as she grasped tight to a half-tamed griffin’s feathers and fought it all the way into the sky for some semblance of control, or as she sat alone beside a sputtering fire and stared up at the false constellations of another simulated night which seemed to hulk too low and too heavy above her.

Why was she here, in this chaotic mess of monsters fighting for nothing, in this broken body which couldn’t remember how to heal or shine or fly? Of course, she knew the answer. Every time a blow missed, or a lingering wound ached as she tried to find some substitute for a potion, or a new party passing on a trail gave her the wide berth of a plague ship, she knew. Helena. Everything had always been Helena.

It was Helena who found her when she first started Wellington, when she was just some state school scholarship kid whose father was a jumped-up real estate agent with notions. It was Helena who dragged Esther to her family’s events like some new toy to show off, where Esther would sit still as a statue while Helena left her to talk with old friends, afraid to touch anything, afraid they would know she didn’t belong. It was Helena who had crowned her “Essie” and stared down the boys who threw pencils in her curls to see if they would stick. But it was Helena who would braid her hair into messy pigtails and make sure to tug, just a few times, just to see if she would wince. It was Helena who tasted like candy apple vodka and stifled laughter at a pre-exam party, all the grace and perfect ease of a sun with its planets in orbit. But it was Helena who kissed her full on the lips and left her wide-eyed and speechless, and then told her in that whimsical tone that made it seem like you had a choice through the underlying bite of a command, “I think you and Thom would be cute together. I think I would like that.” It was Helena who threw the two of them together. Thom with his clumsy, grasping hands and his jealous streak. Thom who only had two things in common with her; the fencing team (where he waddled about like a safety hazard with an epee), and Helena, who they would do anything for.

It was Helena who was beautiful and bright, shining and sharp, commanding and fickle and cruel. So of course, after graduation when their group was thrown to the wind and Esther found herself at the Sorbonne for Medieval Studies which Helena had always called “pointless, dull old nonsense,” when Helena had called up “on a whim,” Esther dropped everything. In all honestly, there hadn’t been much to drop. Her father had called the day before. Something about a bad deal and money troubles, how they couldn’t afford her program or apartment anymore. Something about money for the next train from Paris. Something about problems at home, something with his secretary, of course because her father didn’t have the creativity for an affair beyond the cliche. So of course Helena appeared like salvation, something to follow, something to hide in, something to drown herself in so she wouldn’t have to think. Instead of packing up her apartment and buying a ticket home, she spent the last of her money on a VR headset for this new game Helena had heard of. 

It was Helena who wanted to be in Moonstone; she heard there was a level just for Moonstone players to throw wild parties, that the simulation was better than any drug on the street. It was Helena who wanted Esther to be a Celestial; it would be more fun for everyone with that luck bonus, and that much easier for them all to get to that party level. And nobody else wanted to play as one, they were “hopelessly dull” after all.

But it was Esther who got them through the levels. It was Esther whose fencing skills saved them from beast after beast, whose studies gave her hints to riddles the rest of the group were too impatient and bored to puzzle through. It was Esther who first heard the announcement, that there was no way out of the game anymore, that relinquium was off the market and chances to bribe Jacqueline were disappearing. And she heard the whispering, how Thom and Helena and the others wondered how much their parents would pay to bribe their way out, how it really wasn’t that much fun here anyways, how they all just wanted to leave. They were all so sure, so confident with their parents’ money behind them that nothing could hurt them, that they could just leave when they were bored. They didn’t even spare a thought for her, they didn’t even stop to wonder what would happen if they left her behind, just like they never stopped to wonder what would happen to them if they didn’t have her there in the first place. 

It was Esther who suggested storming the dragon’s lair. She told herself she just wanted to convince them why it was worth staying, why they needed her, why they couldn’t just leave her behind. But she knew it was a lie. Thom was the first to die, and she didn’t have to do anything. He was always rash, thoughtless, always trying to impress and always falling short. Those clumsy hands that had fumbled with her uniform as she disgustedly lay there and thought, ‘this was what Helena wanted,’ never really got the hang of the in-game sword mechanics. Not even Esther’s luck bonus could help him. For a glorious, fire-choked moment somewhere between heaven and hell as the dragon slashed him to pieces and charred the remains, Esther felt right. She felt free. Some tried to fend off the beast, but they were of little use without her there to lead the charge. The others tried to flee, desperately trying to search through inventories for any potions or scrolls to help. But Esther had always been the fastest, and she had luck on her side. Their blows came to nothing. Their magic fizzled in their hands. They were left shocked and frozen as she swung at them in perfect, practiced confidence. Helena didn’t even have time for fear. She just stared with offended disbelief, as if somehow she was more upset Esther had acted without her approval than that Esther was plunging a sword into her chest. And then there was nothing, Esther had killed not just some random NPC, not just some nameless member of another guild or even some unknown from her own guild; she had killed her friends. She had swung the sword with the vicious satisfaction that they would well and truly die. And worse, she didn’t care. For once, it felt right. She didn’t stop to think. She didn’t worry. She just swung her blade.

The last thing Esther remembered was the dragon reaching down for her; the sharp kiss of its claws; the warmth of flames as her hair and face and glorious wings charred away. And then she was back at the beginning, with nothing.

Relationships:

Char 1 -

Balestra Playlist

Heretic Pride || The Mountain Goats

Falling || HAIM

Glory and Gore || Lorde

Horse & I || Bat for Lashes

Arsonist’s Lullaby || Hozier

Torches || The Oh Hellos

Miracle || CHVRCHES

Shrike || Hozier

I of the Storm || Of Monsters and Men

The Yawning Grave || Lord Huron

Fire Rides || MØ

Extras:

Esther Playlist

Oxford Comma || Vampire Weekend

Friends || RAYE

Don’t Save Me || HAIM

Karma || Years & Years

The Hamptons || Transviolet

Academia || Sia

Mirror || IDER

Only if For a Night || Florence + the Machine

Other:

After she glitched out she can’t use any potions. She doesn’t know exactly why, but she simply can’t affect herself with temporary magic without horrible glitchy side effects (this does not make her immune to spells from other players though, much to her general dismay). It’s made regaining levels a bit of a nightmare, but mostly she just misses being able to fly. It’s also meant that she’s had to get creative on some levels, especially those tailored to other guilds where the main strategy for non-guild members is a specific magical item. Also, because of this she doesn’t know if she even can leave the game, since the only method now is the potion Relinquium.

Hasn’t been the member of a party since her original party was wiped out and she reset back to level 1. She also has little to no guild loyalty. In fact, she seems much better suited to Obsidian and enjoys most of their claimed levels more than those of Moonstone, which tend to have more goals and interactions which wreak havoc with her corrupted Celestial nature.

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/euclidice/balestra/

[sarcasticgaypotato]

Ok so. I suppose if I want to post any of my recent content I should make a formal introduction to the character involved. So here’s me talking about Teramis, I suppose. To make the long story of how she came to be incredibly short; she was originally designed as a fantasy version of a different OC of mine, then edited to be her own character when I realized I liked her a lot, made into a DnD character, briefly used before the campaign fell apart, and then has just been an original character since. Her backstory is under the cut. For some visual reference, here’s a link to an adorable chibi from @pineflowerart, and here’s a link to a lyric comic from the wonderful @zaraegis. (@bondibee has also done some fantastic art of her, but I don’t know if it’s posted to tumblr)

Teramis Skoll was an only child born to the leader of a tribe in the north, destined to be the next leader when her mother stepped down. The tribe was close knit and Teramis grew up in a comfortable, loving community until the age of 10, when they were hit with a terrible winter. The tribe didn’t have the supplies it needed to survive, let alone any to trade with any neighboring groups. Teramis, knowing she couldn’t magically change the weather, decided that if she could find something valuable to trade with their neighbors or traveling merchants, it’d afford them the supplies they needed to survive.

So, she decided to break the rules just a little bit, and, spurred on by the tales of adventures and treasure hunters, went exploring in a nearby cave that she had been forbidden to enter.  To her delight, hidden within that cave was a sizable stash of riches. Golden coins, silver rings, and a beautifully jeweled crown.  All collecting dust and cobwebs, but valuable nonetheless.  She grabbed as much as her hands could carry and returned home.

What she didn’t know was that she hadn’t entered any old cave, nor were riches like that normally just left lying around for no reason. It was a crypt containing powerful magic, with those laid to rest not wanting to be stolen from.

As Teramis returned home and displayed her bounty, she unknowingly brought with her an army of furious undead. The tribe, hungry and weakened by illness, hardly stood a chance.  Teramis’s parents told her to hide, and died protecting her.

After reclaiming their treasure and shedding sufficient blood, the violent- but not overly intelligent- undead returned to their resting place, shambling off into the snowstorm and disappearing back into the cave.  Teramis, when she had the courage to appear from where she had hid, was horrified at the massacre that her actions were at fault for.  Houses razed to the ground, livestock and people alike slaughtered.

There were some survivors, albeit not many.  Teramis could hear the cries of the wounded echoing out into the night sky. Her parents were dead, she was supposed to be the next in line to run things. To fix this mess she made, to help people.

She ran instead.  Gathering her mother’s bow and the warmest clothes she had, she ran and ran until her legs gave out. She couldn’t face what she had done, she couldn’t look the injured survivors in the eye and admit that it was all her fault. When she reached a part of the woods she had never seen before, she figured that it was done. That she would never see another trace of her old life.  But there was one more obstacle in her way. See every member of her leader of the tribe’s bloodline had something in common. At birth, they would be given an animal guide, much like a familiar for magic users in other parts of the world. Often their appearances at their person’s side were only if they were needed for guidance, for comfort, or to teach a lesson.

That was how young Teramis found herself facing off with a massive wolf. Her guardian, blocking her path.  It gestured with its snout back where she came from, pushing her back home.  When Teramis still tried to push past and run, it attacked her, branding her with a scar across her face that would never let her forget that she had decided to run.

In a moment of desperation, Teramis took one of the arrows she had grabbed alongside her mother’s bow, and rammed it into the neck of the beast, killing it and severing her last tie to her tribe.

While it is uncommon for one’s guide to die before them, if it occurs, tradition dictates that you wear their pelt in a sign of respect, and allowing them to still aid you with their warmth even in death. Teramis did just that, wearing the fur of this wolf a la Hercules with the Nemean Lion. From there, Teramis kept running. She couldn’t go to any neighboring tribes, they’d know who she was.  And even if they didn’t, she didn’t deserve their help. She didn’t even deserve to be alive when so many others perished, so Teramis confined herself to life in the wilderness.  She struggled and starved and nearly died, but miraculously, she survived. Months turned into years and she trained herself to be stronger, quicker, quieter. She turned herself into a fine hunter, and learned to survive on her own. But she wasn’t content. Guilt gnawed away at her every day, and she knew she couldn’t live out the rest of her days just keeping herself alive.  She needed to make sure that what happened to her would never happen to anyone else.

She would rid the world of the undead, restoring order to the way of the world and the wills of nature by hunting down the unnatural creatures that defied it. So that is where she finds herself, traveling the world on the hunt for rumors of necromancer activity, old crypts with suspicious noises within, or hordes of skeletons and zombies waiting to ambush the innocent. ----- Teramis has never truly forgiven herself for what she did, no matter how much time has passed. She doesn’t have the heart to go back and see what became of the ruins of her tribe, to find out if the survivors rebuilt it or if they eventually perished as well.  This guilt haunts her, and influences the way she often makes life harder on herself than it has to be. Similarly, she refuses to carry anything of wealth. She won’t accept any sort of coin, and won’t so much as touch jewelry. She has nothing to her name but the clothes on her back, and despite the discomfort this causes, she insists. Teramis avoids society for the most part, even as an adult. She’s spent so long alone in the woods that her social skills are abysmal. She rarely speaks, and her skills in reading and writing are at a beginner’s level at best. She stands at 6′4″ and is well built with muscle and the needed fat to survive in the often taxing environments she finds herself in. Her imposing stature makes her out to be far more intimidating than she truly is, however. Her gruff exterior does little to hide her fondness for nature, and despite it all she wants nothing more than to have a family again. While her booksmarts are lacking, she’s gained impressive wisdom throughout her travels, gaining an insight to the world that aids her in seeing the true intentions of people, as well as exceptional handling of both wild and domestic animals.

[infinity-and-luck]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50

Once again, I apologise that this is long. 

1: Do you ever wish you were someone else?

- Maybe? At least I wish I were different, sometimes.

2: What is your full name?

- Percival Michael William (Last name)

3: How old are you and how old do you get mistaken for?

- 17, and however old you are to be given the kid’s menu at restaurants. 

4: Have you ever dyed your hair?

- I dyed it a more golden shade of blonde for my Enjolras cosplay for Halloween last year, and I’m thinking of dying it navy sometime next year.

5: What’s your eye colour?

- Blue/Grey/Green.

6: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it?

- I have quite a few things I don’t like about it.

7: Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

- I have my ears pierced, but I never wear anything, so they’ve almost completely closed.

8: What would you say is your best quality?

- I don’t think I can judge that. 

9: What are you really bad at?

- I’m gay, therefore I can’t do math (as proven by the math test I took today)

10: What talent do you wish you had?

- I would love to be able to sing.

11: Are you nice to everyone?

- No, and I feel bad about it too. I’m working on it though.

12: What do you think about the most?

- The future.

13: Things you like/dislike about yourself

- A lot in both categories.

14: What is your least favourite word?

- I don’t know if I have one.

15: What is your favourite word?

- Hmmm. I don’t know. There are so many.

16: Are you more like your mom or your dad?

- I look like a clone of my mom, but personality-wise I’m more like my dad. Politics-wise I am completely different. 

17: Would you ever smile at a stranger?

- Depends on the stranger.

18: A reason you’ve lied to someone

- To keep myself safe.

19: Are you lying about anything right now?

- I don’t think I’ve ever been fully honest at any point in time. 

20: Have you kissed someone older than you?

- Family members, but otherwise I’ve never kissed anyone.

21: Do you believe in love at first sight?

- Attraction at first sight, maybe.

22: Do you believe in soulmates?

- Maybe.

23: Are looks important?

- To a society? No. 

24: Opinion on relationship age differences

- I mean, if they’re both consenting adults then I guess?

25: Would you date someone off the Internet?

- I wouldn’t date anyone.

26: Have you ever cried over a boy/girl?

- No.

27: Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

- Fictional characters.

28: Anyone you’re giving up on right now?

- No?

29: Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

- No.

30: Have you ever liked your best friend?

- I mean, yes, I like all of my friends, otherwise, we wouldn’t be friends. If you mean romantically, then no.

31: How does someone win your heart?

- Talk to me.

32: What turns you on?

- I have a switch on the side of my head, you have to flick it so it says ‘on’

33: What turns you off?

- Flicking that same button so it says ‘off’

34: Do you get jealous easily?

- Yeah.

35: What is your definition of cheating?

- Getting together with another person without your partner’s previous consent, without prior discussion with your partner, and without their knowledge.

36: Do you forgive betrayal?

- I don’t think I’ve been betrayed yet. 

37: Have you ever been cheated on?

- No.

38: Have you ever cheated on someone?

- No.

39: How often do you listen to music?

- Constantly.

40: First concert you attended

- I forget what it was, but it was at the Houston Rodeo.

41: Last movie you watched

- Spiderman: Far From Home

42: Favorite type of movie

- Ooh. Tough one. I suppose any kind (bar Westerns) where there are good characters.

43: Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

- I mean, I kind of hate talking about myself in general (I say, answering fifty questions about myself and regularly asking for more questions)

44: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

- I’m good at bottling them up. 

45: Do you fall in love easily?

- No.

46: Do you think people say I love you too much?

- On the contrary, I don’t think they say it enough. 

47: What’s your favourite holiday?

- Halloween.

48: Are you a forgiving person? Do you like being that way?

- It depends. I tend to fluctuate between forgiving or holding a grudge. I don’t know, man, I don’t know.

49: Where’s the most magical place on earth?

- My bedroom late at night. (That sounds so dirty; it’s not)

50: What’s your “type”?

- I mean, romantic-type? I don’t have one. But friend-type? I have made three friends at three different schools who all fit the exact same mould: girls who are two years older than me, play DnD, do theatre, make amazing art, are giant nerds, and are the coolest people ever. And whose names start with the letter “a”

[fennel-sylvanus]

Fennel backstory

Hey folks! I know I don’t post that often, but I wrote a backstory for my favorite DnD character, Fennel, and I thought I’d post it here. Those of you who are part of the Lux Codex crew out there, don’t read this! Major spoilers for the campaign! I’m talking to you, @starrywlw!

We must clear up a rather big misconception if we are to move forwards. Fennel’s name isn’t Fennel. His real name is Vin Carpenter. There are reasons for this rather drastic change, but we will get to them in time. Vin grew up in a small village just outside the Neverglades. His birth parents had been taken by a plague when he was young, so he lived with his grandfather in a small apothecary, a rickety shack on the outskirts of the village. Old Man Carpenter had always been an oddball in his family. The Carpenters had been just that- carpenters- for generations, but along comes a man mystified by the strange arcane powers of the plants in the world around him. Imagine how the family would react. Old Man Carpenter, or Opa to Vin, was a bit of an outsider in his family. Oma had been gone for a long time- she didn’t have as strong a constitution as Opa- so Opa was forced to raise Vin on his own, without help from the family, with only the funds from his apothecary, with very little space or time to raise a chaotic, woodsy kid who kept coming into the house with frogs in his pockets and mud on his boots. Despite this, Vin absolutely adored his grandpa. His Opa called him “nightshade” and “mint” and “ginger” instead of dear and sweetie, and far more importantly to Vin, he could breathe fire and grow to double his own size with the potions that he made. Most apothecaries were content to make brown sludge that healed cuts and charge exorbitant prices for it, but Old Man Carpenter had greater aspirations. His potions could bring dying men back from the brink and heal people on death’s door. He once gave Vin a liquid that acted like it was reversed by gravity and made Vin float a foot off of the ground for an hour. It isn’t hard to become the hero of a child that you taught how to fly, after all. Old Man Carpenter was indispensable to the town he lived in, so despite their reluctance to buy potions from the oddball who lived in a shack on stilts on the edge of town, they went to him when Telwin had the cough and it didn’t look like he would pull through, or when Magda’s dog had broken its leg and it had gotten infected. And he would say in his heavily accented voice, “Hold on, hold on, let me see what I can do,” and hobble to the back of his shop and make miracles.

Which is why everyone was knocking on his door when the Plague came.

People said they saw Lady Osyra, Goddess of the Long Slumber herself walking through the forest. They said she turned to look at the village and uttered words behind mortal comprehension. They say- they swear- they saw a figure made out of cloth fly over and away from the village. But people say a lot of things. Vin was a woodsy kid, and spent a lot of time away from the village, so when he came back with pocketfuls of frogs just primed to be dropped into beakers and saw corpses on every street corner… it didn’t feel real. It felt like a nightmare. For a while, he just wandered, one hand covering his mouth, staying far away from the still bodies that were gathering flies, just… looking.

Eventually, he made his way to his Opa’s house and found it surrounded by moaning ill- bodies of mothers, of children, of animals, of the dead. Deaf and blind to him, he made his way up to the steps and entered. In a quavering voice, he called out, “Opa?”

He heard, “Nightshade. We must be quick. We have lots of work to do.”

And everything was fine. It was okay, Opa was alive, they could save everybody. Opa was a genius. He could do it.

For twelve hours, they worked as if the whole world had fallen away. And they got sick too. Towards the end, Opa was too sick to move, so Vin had to do it for him, pouring amounts and crushing things in a mortar and pestle as Opa’s weak voice dictated. By the end, they had made enough for one dose. With quavering, feverish hands, Vin passed the little bead that he had rolled with his small, nimble fingers over to Opa.

And Opa closed Vin’s fingers around it, saying, “I’m so sorry, my chickweed, but there isn’t enough time. My dear, sweet chamomile, you have to take it. I’ve been running on borrowed time for so long, you are my legacy now. Take care of them for me, sweet fennel, keep going. Make me proud.”

And, tears streaming down his face, Vin swallowed the pill, watching his grandfather’s body go quiet.

The human brain has many faculties that it uses to cope with pain. Immediately, one might fall asleep, for in sleep there is distance and solace. It might forget, to isolate the mind from the pain of remembrance. It might bring one to insanity, for sometimes, living whole with pain can be worse than living broken without. Greatest of all, it might die, for in death, nothing can harm us- or so we are told. Vin, broken little bird, chose to forget. Now nameless, he forgot his grandfather, forgot his village, forgot the plague and magic potions and dreams of Arkhos’ Eye, a panacea that could cure even death. For the next decade or so, the child lived like an animal in the wilderness, ignorant of the pain that had been given to him.

Until Syl, of course.

Sylvanus Bevan was a gnomish priest of Osyra who was passing through the Neverglades in transit to the Great Northern Ridge in order to work with some of the villages there. Sylvanus was a plague doctor- a man who traveled around healing the sick and praying for the dead. He expected to find a little village at the border, with maybe some colds and sore throats that he could cure for a couple of coppers and a meal on his way to Tal.

When all he saw were ruins, skeletons, and encroaching wildlife, he was more than a little concerned.

He made his way around, looking for any signs of life. A group of survivors who quarantined themself, maybe? No, nothing. Just bodies. Stray dogs, roaming free from their masters, eating from the woods, gone feral? Not a living domesticated animal in sight. A houseplant? Nothing. A child’s toy, left intact? No.

Anything?

Nothing remained.

Osyra, he thought, what misfortune had these people to invoke such wrath of yours?

A little stunned, Sylvanus wandered into the forest. He felt filthy, diseased. He wanted a bath to clear his head. He made his way to the sound of a river, walking through the high tree trunks of the Neverglades.

And when he found a feral-looking 18 (19? Something like that)- year- old eating a raw rabbit and crouching at the river like a wild thing, he knew Osyra and Aster had some...interesting plans for him today.

He approached the boy like he would approach a wounded animal, arms out, crouched low to appear smaller. “It’s okay,” he said. “I won’t hurt you. You look hungry.” Indeed, the boy’s ribs were showing, and Sylvanus could make out every vertebra in his spine. “Would you like to come with me? I can make you a shelter, and a fire, if you want. What’s your name?”

The boy, after not having seen or talked to a human being in years, was honestly stunned. He strained and pondered, but for the life of him, all he could remember was a pet name that held an ache around it like a cloak.

“Fennel,” said the boy, coming up from his crouch like a skittish deer.

“Fennel.” Sylvanus smiled. “That’s a nice name. No last name?” Sylvanus saw Fennel’s expression shift to that of a mourner, and instantly understood. One wild man alone in the woods. Doesn’t know how to cook, so he’s been eating food raw. Rail-thin. Wracked by illness. Plague survivor. Syl had seen it dozens of times before, just never with a lone survivor. What illness had this been, anyway?

“No last name is fine, Fennel. Come with me. Let’s get you some clothes! I don’t think any of mine will fit- I’m a bit short for your size, heh- but I’ll see what I can do. I finally have the chance to sew again!”

That night, Syl held Fennel’s head in his lap as Fennel shook and wept.

And so, like a candle shining at the grave of a loved one, Syl pierced through the shroud of darkness around Fennel. Fennel rapidly changed, like a flower unfurling. He began to talk, single words at first, then lone sentences, finally holding full conversations with Syl on the road. Every time he talked, Syl treated it like a gift. He learned to sew from Syl, and Fennel taught Syl what he remembered of apothecary and healing. Syl was there when Fennel cast his first spell, and they made that day into Fennel’s birthday because Fennel couldn’t remember his real one. They became a little team, a tiny man and a giant in priest’s robes, sweeping through towns and changing lives, making the sick into the well and the hurt into the hearty. Fennel soon understood that in many ways, Syl desperately needed Fennel as much as Fennel needed Syl. Syl had been traveling alone for a long, long time, ankle-deep in shit and bile, trying to cure a sick world on his own. And so, Fennel brightened Syl’s world too, and they fell deeply, deeply in love.

And then, Fennel’s heart got broken again.

They were traveling up the cobbled roads, making the rounds. They heard that there had been an epidemic among crops in Dor Kuprasiin, and they were going up to see what they could do. Traveling north to south, they walked and Fennel whistled, arm in arm with Syl. It was a clear blue day, no clouds in the sky. Fen and Syl could see for miles. Their feet impacted on rocky soil and though the path was desolate, they were together. If they were together, the world could go black and they would still be happy.

Eventually, they came to the World Womb, a great chasm filled with rocky pillars. Their footsteps echoed into the chasm as they stepped, looking cautiously around, for despite themselves they were nervous. Then, up ahead, Fennel spotted a figure. He was confused- they would probably be the only people here, right? People didn’t often come to the World Womb.

What happened next happened very quickly.

The man turned to face them and smiled. His face was grey and his tongue was yellow, and his eyes were obscured by a helmet. He slowly raised his arm, and suddenly, a wave of darkness exploded out of the chasm behind him, sending the rope bridge they were standing on rippling. Fennel saw thousands of shapes in it- it was like a single liquid, or a million tiny creatures clamoring, or a thousand screaming faces or prisms, or a single, perfect mass. It stretched up, blocking out the moon, stretching up to meet it, to dance with it in the sky. It was a beautiful waltz, and for a moment, Fennel was entranced.

Syl’s scream broke his trance, and Fennel snapped to attention, stretched out his hands to hurl a Guiding Bolt, a Spiritual Weapon, anything at their new foe, but in his moment of hesitation it was too late. The bridge underneath them evaporated, turning into a fine powder that they fell through, tumbling down and down and down. Fennel stretched his hand out to catch Syl as they fell through the air. Their hands met, but Fennel’s fingers slipped. He tried again, reaching out and-

Fennel woke up covered in dust and rubble at the edge of the World Womb. He slowly stood to his feet. He looked around, and for a second, he could see the bodies, the moaning ill, the shit and the bile and the dead plants once again. He called out for Syl, his light, to please, come, save him, where are you, help, I miss you. But his voice was met with no answer.

That was how Fennel’s heart was taken from him twice.

Fennel once again returned to the sweet, gentle doors of forgettance. Today, he wanders around, bearing the name Fennel and Sylvanus Bevan for reasons that he is unsure of but that hurt him all the same. He wishes for the answers and the loss that lie in the World Womb and the Neverglades, but only time will tell if he likes the jagged edges and cruel truths that will rise to meet him.

Fennel Sylvanus Bevan. Healer. Savior. Interloper. Walking corpse.

[hoodienot]

yA ASKED FOR IT, here’s the basic, sorry mobile user

FIRSTLY THIS IS GONNA BE WRITTEN POORLY YAY AND I’M NOT GONNA FIX IT BECAUSE IM TIRED

Okay so the actual name of the story is Dogs of War: the 3 Domains or short to DOW3D just to clear that shit up because its not just call “dog story lol”

There’s actually a reason they are all dogs instead of like people or something. The species they are is known as Gnolls (pronounce ‘noles’) even though they are technically hyneas in the DnD canon, Gnolls are sometimes depicted as simple “canine” like beast people. Hence dogs (please I made this story during my “sparkledog” phaze on DA sooo yea aint that tragic)

There’s 3 Domains (aka worlds/universe/kingdoms) known as Earth, Heaven and Hell and they are at war with each other, hence the title of the story

Earth is the largest domain that’s inhabited by the Fae (Fairy) Gnolls, they have the ability to control elements (think like avatar the last airbender kind of stuff) and also have “bug like” features, usually its wings, antenna and insect like tails. They tends to be very colorful (there color usually matching their emotion to some degree). 

The Fae live in a medieval like world where its not super technological or scientifically inclined, they rely more on the earth itself and are very respectful of animals, plants and even the grounds/crust of the planet. They worship a goddess simply known as “Mother” who represents the Earth itself and is consider “Mother Nature”.

Heaven is a smaller domain ruled by the Angel Gnolls. They have the ability to control countless energies and sometimes even time and space itself (think like lasers and psychics). They have bird like features usually being the wings and a feathered tail, they also have metallic rings that for on their body and hover just above their head (a halo of course)

The Angels as a very advance sci-fi like society, almost fully automated, they citizen are however very rule-obsessed, and watch as much boundaries as possible to protect them from corruption or violent arising (within their own people).

Hell is a medium sized domain fulled with the Demon Gnolls. They have the ability to control unnatural forces and the minds of others. (just think demons and yea there ya go). They tend to have lizard / dragon like features sporting wings, a long scaly tail and horns.

The Demons don’t really have a society, they are an almost pure anarchy where you take what you and whoever has the most rules everything, outside of that the people basically live like they are in the apocalypse or the wild west, no rules, no consequences, only violence. They do have a “Queen” but that’s just because she’s taken the most shit and has killed anyone who dares challenge her, everyone serves her out of fear.

The whole war thing with the domains started because originally the Gnolls were one race but due to an argument between 2 siblings, their people became divide. One sister (current queen of hell) wanted to do whatever she wanted, One brother (current king of heaven) wanted to keep in line. Some sided with the Queen, others with the King and others didn’t side with either. Each group went their separate ways and grew into the 3 new races but the Queen and King didn’t forget their argument leaving everyone really on edge. No one EXACTLY KNOWS who finally started it but once it started everyone was at each other throats. The war has been going on for almost 500 years.

Due to how much shit that’s happened, the population of the Gnolls is VERY VERY LOW, too many people are dying, either in battle or from being slaughtered during attack of innocence citizens. I don’t imagine there’s many people anymore like probably in the 25000 for each domain max?? 

RANDOM STUFF ABOUT CHARACTERS

Clayton is named after his town, “Claytown” it was a small town by a river hence the name and it was fucking wrecked by angels probably.

Iris’s parents (who are King and Queen of the Faes) are named Queen Aurora and King Solaris

Salem can’t fly so he often turns into mist to float around

Smoking is good for Salem, to him its like “getting a breath of fresh air” because demons live in hell which is full of smoke plus “corrupted” shit is good for demons

Celeste is kinda dumb, very naive and oblivious, doesn’t know what lying is and really doesn’t understand sarcasm, very shelter type

Iris can make a shield made of crystal, she uses it as her main weapon

[quillyfied]

playing catchup, here’s some thoughts about DCA episode 120, with 121 coming here in a bit.

- I love these fireside episodes, and Satine Phoenix is an excellent person to mediate their discussions; she’s very warm and empathetic and these losers need that desperately

- Strix’s timeline is screwy, as I believe I have discussed on this blog before, but…uh…there’s a particular piece of Strix backstory Holly wrote that if it happened before she went to Baba Yaga…yikes. I don’t want to discuss it in too much detail but Strix would still have been so, so young for this particular piece of trauma, that’s gut-wrenching to think about. All of their childhoods included some form of trauma at a heartbreakingly young age and all of it is hard to think about but wooow.

- Paladin training is no joke, but I wonder how much younger than the others Evelyn was, to have advanced to full paladin status at 22 (probably younger). Given her leg, that’s really hella impressive.

- Relissa and Kagan are TERRIBLE and I can’t wait until we meet them, I am hoping for bloodshed on Diath’s behalf. But now Diath’s question to Paultin during the therapy episode makes more sense—“Was she nice to you?” KILL ME

- Diath’s fond smile and his tone of voice when he says her name after Strix says “so we CAN kill them!”, I’m drowning in my feelings pls help

- Yeah, trying to parse the conversation better, it does sound like Diath was dating both of them. So polyamorous Diath is most likely canon, which is…huge, honestly.

- Just going off of the body language and his facial expressions…that is not Diath’s root fear of cages and enclosed spaces. He probably had that long before Relissa and Kagan got to him. If anything, being imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit would probably crystalize that fear into a full-on psychosis, if it wasn’t there already

- okay imagining little bitty Evelyn zipping around in her boots makes me SO HAPPY, what a cutie patootie she must’ve been. Her expressed desire to be helpful is also very telling of an active child who felt useless bc she couldn’t get around as well, and I’m sure Father Sunbright capitalized on that desire to be useful to turn her into the self-sacrificing paladin she is (I’m sure to make her self-sacrificing and indebted to him personally, not just Lathander, but I’m bitter about him and hope either he doesn’t get raised or if Telastin tries, he just doesn’t come back…sidenote, I wonder if Chris is worried about too many plot threads out there waving in the wind that he has to braid back together, I’m sure he can do it, but this season is so complex compared to others)

- MORE ABOUT PAULTIN’S CHILDHOOD PLS. NATE. NATE PLS. I know that alcohol-induced amnesia is a huge part of Paultin’s character as an in-game expression of Nate not having much of a backstory for him, but come on, it’s been years XD He probably wouldn’t spill about it just yet, anyway, Diath hasn’t. I’m just grumpy and impatient.

- Aww yeee plot pie

- I feel like Paultin and Sandra having a rental is an important detail in this particular case; it feels like a setup, if this crime family was making a habit out of going into noble houses and Paultin and Sandra’s house was close to one. Maybe Sandra was mixed up in something she shouldn’t have been and Paultin didn’t know about it bc he’d been busy with work before she died, but the face-mangling in particular is suspicious to me. The whole death scenario in general is just brutal, suggesting extreme emotion or senseless bestial mauling (leaning towards the second), but making the face unrecognizable…there’s usually a reason why that happens, and that reason is usually either trying to cover their tracks or body-planting. So what I’m saying is, I’m reserving a shred of suspicion that Sandra might not be dead (actually evil, off doing other things, not sure what the motive would be, we just don’t know enough about her for me to make a clear judgement, but I’ve got my eye on you, Chris). I do not want that to happen at all in the least, for many reasons, but still…hmm.

- Diath’s reticence makes so much more sense now but I’m still a little heartbroken that he doesn’t feel comfortable enough with Strix, at least, to divulge a bit of his childhood to her. Yes I am upset as a viewer that there’s still so much we don’t know (upset AND excited), but after everything the Waffle Crew has been through together, it’s still baffling to me that they have mistrust and uncertainty. But them’s people, I guess, they all have their trauma that they’re carrying around.

- “Please don’t call me Hokage” OMGF JARED

- For real, though, after the clusterbumble Plurio tried to pull with saying Paultin owed him, seeing the real legit 100% authentic Diath express yet more of his devotion to his friend by tracking down people who hurt him deeply in the past has me absolutely sobbing, these stupid boys care about each other so much. Also vengeance!Paultin is kinda terrifying to watch but it’s been a while, it will be interesting to see where his rage takes him this time.

- (Esepcially given the talk he gave Alisanda about rage and revenge and how that hatred never goes away and changes a person for the worse, hoo boy, I hope for their sake that Relissa and Kagan really didn’t kill Sandra)

- EVELYN NO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU CHILDREN. My inner daycare teacher is screaming.

- Nat’s devotion to Diath is a+++++ and I think she in particular is very good for Diath’s development as a person and a leader. Also Anna and Jared using sign language onstage was great, I don’t know if all if it was legit since I don’t know much, but it was still cool to watch.

- Diath needs to go bond with Simon next…especially once next episode finally sinks into him :P (I am pretty sure they let slip to Diath what happened with Simon and the kid during the therapy episode, but the players forgetting details is okay, they’re all human beings with busy lives and insane schedules)

- Paultin acknowledging Evelyn as Simon’s mom is the BEST, I’m just waiting for Simon to call them Mom and Dad out loud now :P

- THROW THAT SHADE, PAULTIN, YOUR SON HAS LEARNED FROM THE BEST. YES DIATH, LET’S DISCUSS HIDING THINGS.

- AGREED, VLAHNYA, THEY SHOULD ABSOLUTELY TALK MORE.

- Squiddly’s mode of breaking the fourth wall without actually breaking the fourth wall is amazing, I’m not sure what to call his in-universe fluidity with the rules of reality but it’s delightful, I’m so upset it is a little weird for Nate to hold entire conversations with himself in a dnd setting

- They need to learn to take care of the kids…and themselves…AND EACH OTHER…I think I feel a whump fic coming on

- All of these poor broken adults need a mental health day where they just do things for themselves, where’s that special episode, Chris Perkins

- little lesson about love~ (once again getting SO CLOSE to someone explaining to Strix about feelings and giving her context for romantic emotions, WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP CHICKENING OUT ON HER, SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS BEFORE I DIE)

- Paultin’s face-touch to Diath is a masterful little touch of comedy, combining Paultin’s two favorite pastimes: 1. Messing with Diath, and 2. Bringing back random plot elements and using them to greatest effect. I am 99% sure that part of Paultin’s motivation for doing that was planting the idea in Diath to touch someone ELSE’S face :P Or at least, the part of me that knows Paultin ships his friends as much as we do wants to believe that. Jared’s face through the whole thing was killing me.

- Parenting, you guys. PARENTING. BEING RESPONSIBLE ADULTS. Oh gosh they’re going to have to leave Waterdeep at some point (bc I have a suspicion that Dungeon of the Mad Mage is going to be, if not THE last, then one of the last arcs DCA has, IDK how much longer fifth edition is gonna last and how many adventures they can turn out for it?? How often do they update DnD???), which means leaving the kids, which means there’s going to be a goodbye episode and I’m NOT READY.

- Elements of this are bleeding pretty flawlessly into the next episode, whether Chris actually watched the fireside as of streaming 121 or not, so once that post goes up, I’ll be glad to explore more about Simon and why I’m screaming in terror and delight.