#I finished mouthwashing last week and I’ve been thinking about it nonstop

[sinnbaddie]

Take responsibility

[deaththesyd]

Typical Morning

It's late, but I've finally managed to finish! I admit, I struggled a lot with this one, I actually started writing 2 different fics, both went absolutely nowhere before this beauty came to me as I brushed my teeth this morning.

Hopefully worth the wait, here's my entry for Kisame Week Day 3 Prompt: Domesticity. @kisameweek-2021

Summary:

Living with the Akatsuki, even brushing your teeth is an ordeal.

Being a Hoshigaki was something Kisame both struggled with and was proud of. His heritage gifted him plenty of things, vast chakra reserves, adaptability to aquatic environments, a heightened sense of sight and smell, but there were plenty of drawbacks. One of the many things he wasn’t thankful for was the sheer amount of teeth he had to take care of. Sure, like his ancestors, his teeth would fall out and replace themselves unlike other humans, but that didn’t mean he could neglect them. Flossing, brushing, and mouthwash was needed regularly to keep his razor-sharp teeth pearly white. His teeth were nestled in rough rows and were a nightmare to clean, but having suffered through cavities before, Kisame took great care to avoid the nonstop aches again. Recently his on-the-road routine had been changed, and now instead of taking care of the task when in between missions, it was now a morning staple. Living with six other people in a home with only one bathroom was definitely an ordeal sometimes, but for his mornings there was only one other person who typically woke around the same time as him.

Trudging into the bathroom lazily, hair a mess and wearing an oversized t-shirt, she bumped into him gently, budging her way towards the sink to begin her own morning rituals. His large frame hogged the space easily, but he obliged and shifted enough for her to pop out her retainer and grab for the dental floss. Thankfully he was already done with that particular task and was already carefully brushing his teeth with his new toothbrush, provided by the smaller woman in front of him. It was funny to him, the sight of her leaning over the sink to stare at the mirror while she flossed while he towered over her. Even if she was standing at her full height she would never come close to impeding his view. Even with the clear view of him in her sights, she was too focussed on her back molar to notice his movement before he gave her a playful jab in her side with his free hand. A startled squeak left her lips before she glared at the reflection of his evil smirk. Rolling her eyes she moved out of the way to let him spit into the sink, tossing the used floss into the trash as she went.

Finally reaching for the mouthwash to finish up, he felt her press against him to grab her toothbrush and toothpaste. Playfully he moved it farther away, making her whine. Again she pushed into him, stretching farther and leaning her whole weight against him, but as her fingers brushed the brush cup, he picked it up and held it above her reach. There were only a few ways for her to win this one, and he was betting that either she wouldn’t be bold enough to attempt them, or that she would try and fail. What he didn’t think of was that she would step onto the toilet cover and launch herself at him. Wrenching it from him with her own grip was impossible, but he let her have it anyway, his own reward for her creative tactic. Landing beside she grinned at him in victory and he dramatically stepped back from the sink, gesturing at it letting her know it was all hers. Proudly she took her place and brushed her teeth, only being interrupted by him leaning over her shoulder to spit his mouthwash. Something she protested with a toothpaste garbled “Hey!” Teeth clean and breath minty fresh, he left her to finish after quickly messing around her hair before she could bat his hand away. This earned him another glare, but he just laughed it off as he exited.

Wearing a snarky grin, he spotted Itachi and Kakuzu sat in the living room, reading. Kakuzu grumbled that they were too loud, but Kisame paid him no mind. He knew that as long as they hadn’t woken up Hidan or Deidara early, they weren’t going to actually earn the irritated wrath of the grouchy man.

“Is this going to be an everyday occurrence?” Itachi asked, not looking up from the page he was on. Kisame’s grin grew just a little wider, but before he could respond they heard the muffled reply from the bathroom.

“It better not be, he’s gonna make me late for work,” she said. Kisame laughed, earning a hard glare from Kakuzu. Even without Hidan and Deidara’s loud presence, it seemed the old man was doomed to be annoyed, but that didn’t mean he wanted them to be added to the early morning commotion. Once again, Kisame didn’t pay him any mind, instead, he grabbed the back of the shirt collar she was wearing as she rushed by. Caught off guard, she gasped, before huffing up at him, her frustration, much like Kakuzu's, wasn't taken seriously.

“Dude, seriously, I’m gonna be late for work!” She protested a bit too loudly, shifting Kakuzu’s glare from Kisame to her. Shrinking in on herself, she averted her eyes from the menacing man and looked over at Itachi, the only one she could rely on to control the teasing shark.

Itachi sighed and turned his attention towards the tall man, who was enjoying seeing the small woman struggle against his hold. “Let her go, that’s enough, Kisame”. With a quiet chuckle, he let go of her right as she pulled back and she fell to the ground clumsily with an “oof”. This made the shark man’s laughter even louder, as she whined.

Kakuzu growled at them to “Shut the hell up!”, to which they immediately heard the muffled complaints from downstairs, which made Itachi sigh again as he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

No longer caring about the noise level, the woman scrambled from her spot on the floor and made it to the doorway leading to the basement stairs, letting out a yelp as she heard a loud crash behind her. Kakuzu’s attack had been blocked by Kisame, who had then tackled the old man from the reclining chair with a loud bang. Kisame heard her yell “Don’t destroy the house!” from the stairway, as he worked to pin the enraged man to the floor. The impromptu wrestling match lasted only a short while. Kakuzu was easy to piss off, but a drawn-out fight first thing in the morning wasn’t something he preferred, and a struggle with Kisame wasn’t something easily finished like it was with Hidan. The two large men drew apart and without a snarky word or taunt, Kisame flopped onto the couch next to Itachi and flicked on the TV. Soon enough they were joined by Hidan and Deidara, who, thankfully, were still waking up and weren’t too loud just yet.

The excitement from the early morning was quickly forgotten by the time a blur passed Kisame’s vision towards the front door. Dressed in her work clothes, hair brushed out and pulled into a bun, she appeared ready for work, and noting the time on the analog clock that sat on one of the side tables, she wasn’t late. “Sasori says the next time you guys make that much noise he’s gonna poison our food,” she said, unbothered, as she laced up her boots.

“I wasn’t even awake!” Hidan groaned, and Deidara hummed in agreement. She turned and looked apologetically towards them as she opened the door.

“I actually told him that it was Kakuzu’s fault” she called before closing the door behind her. Once again, Kisame was the one to keep Kakuzu from breaking anything as he flared with anger. This time, the fight didn’t end quickly, as both Hidan and Deidara were there to egg them on. Itachi narrowly avoided a loose swing as he bookmarked his page and fled to the kitchen, passing the stairway to the basement as Sasori’s large body entered the living room to swing his scorpion tail into the fray, immediately aiming for Hidan and Deidara, causing an all-out battle to erupt in the quaint living room. As Kisame managed to smash Kakuzu’s face into the floor, he wondered how brushing his teeth had led to this.