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ts-autumns-world · 3 years ago

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Episode 4: “Tua supremacy babey” - Lily O

I GET TO REUNITE WITH JINX YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

me waking up to see that im in the new tribe: https://media.tenor.com/images/93212119a4887f9fa0ad945c7ae2a5d0/tenor.gif

tbh i expected the swap since like we have 14 rn so its a reasonable number to do a swap before the merge.. but like this swap sucks not only me being the only one from og eener but its also me having to be with these 4 whites ppl. you know i don't trust white ppl except mikki SDFSDFSDFSDF so this absolutely SUCKS. and geekoffilm is on another tribe too.

URGH i hope i can team up with jinx and jude. and joey and i used to play together in CoW so hopefully, i am able to make him want to work with me again.. but monty... monty is very skeptical cause like they could just vote me off now. BUT THEN, i know that either jinx or raffy has the idol for sure, so maybe i need to ask jinx for that. or i just ask the person who i'll be up against with in the tic tac toe to throw a challenge if they are the og eener too.

much to think about bestie booth. i wanna trust these ppl so bad but i have trust issues

https://youtu.be/JrXnnD5KU0I

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naur this is the plan if we go to council

imma be like joey

you are the only cis white man on the team

you have to go.

you wanna be an ally?

THIS IS HOW!!!

so im pushing for u FEWEJFEEFJEFEIFEFIJW

heS ALWAYS SAYING HE WANTS TO BE A BETTER ALLY

ALWAYS CALLING ME LIKE JINX IM SO SORRY

ILL BE LIKE FOR WHAT??

HE'S LIKE FOR BEING A WHITE CIS STRAIGHT MAN.

IF UR REALLY SORRY ULL LEAVE!

I have to start this out by saying Giraffez, I’m so sorry! I tried my best but too many people wanted to keep us comp strong and wanted Lily O to stay. I really wish we would have had the chance to play longer together but sometimes it’s just not in the cards.

As far as swap goes, I’m really happy about my team. We have a majority from my original group which is pretty wild. I wish Chips was here and I really hope he makes it work somehow but I’m ngl I’m a little worried about him.

I was so so thrilled to see Jinx on Tua with me. I also have started talking with Captain and Jude. They both seem super nice so as always I’m hoping to avoid tribal once again.

I’d like to the think that original Llih (was that how you spelled it?) will stay together but Giraffez told me that Lily O told her that she was voting for me. Now obviously we all voted Giraffez but I think Lily O knows I was plotting. So. I hope we can stick together. But. Yeah. Your girl is worried. And excited. She is excited cause this group seems cool. But nervous because yeah I’m not ready for another vote out. Mkay. Bye.

This swap went pretty well for me all things considered. I still have a bunch of people from my OG Tribe, and the new people seem active and really nice! So, I like my tribe. Blake offered to me today to work together closely in the game which I am down for. The semi-inactive people need to stick together and all that lmao. Other than that, I am straight Vibing

Swap time! honestly its time to kick it into high gear and win this immunity challenge! make some real allies!

HELLO AUTUMNS WORLD!!!!!! So I have arrived in a swapped team with 3 of my old members! SOOO happy Mikki is here firstly since we can discuss basically anything. Blake and Raffy im also cool with but not like as close with them. Maybe a bit more with Blake. Of the new people my fav is Chris !! Already liking our chats and hope it can turn more strategic later maybe!! Ricky is also cool and funny and chips I was allies with him in Kili which is cool but probably the weakest connection of the new people so far!! It looks like we are gonna lose and if so its kinda hard like on one hand we have easy majority to vote off idk probably chips or maybe ricky or we could go against tribal linesI think Blake truly does wanna work with me tho but is just busy. Like going against tribal lines is kinda fun but maybe dumb. And chips being the 1 in a 4-2-1 swap sucks too!! Idk kind of evaluating the vibe with Mikki and will see what we think later if we lose… we would probs be safe regardless being protected by tribal lines on one side and having developed sorta good vibes with Chris and Ricky from the other side so probs wouldn’t be targeted from that angle either?? Hopefully… I did have kind of a delayed start with the new people cuz of irl stuff but yah we will see!

My opinion on swap was initially sad because I was missing out on Jinx/Jude/Joey/Captain BUT then I realize I like this tribe?? Im with Ricky still, Mikki probably is sitting at the cookout as we spesk, Chips is lowkey goody but I got my eye on him, Benj and I bond over Agatha Christie <3, Blake I knew from TDI so we have been goofin like a Goofy movie, Raffy I actually enjoy that we chat of the most mundane things, and that's everybody! I think I have a chance to survive on this tribe

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My thoughts are that I've got Ricky and Mikki at minimum. I know Mikki/Raffy got beef but I doubt they go for each other. Chips is like a level-headed Joey but I reckon one of him/Blake/Benj will be targeted if I had to guess. Nevertheless me and Captain talked during our matchup and exchanged info. My hope is me or Ricky are in Outhouse but I also hope not so we have higher odds to keep the goodies all goodie and safe

https://voca.ro/18WSqZznajDx

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I LOVE JUDE

so idk where my last confessional left off but i think it was before tribal. so after tribal, jinx’s manifestations came true, we swapped, i ended up on a tribe with no one i knew except chris, so that was kind of…nnng. but hey, gotta roll with the punches. me and jinx were paired up for the challenge which game me a bit of time to talk with them, and they gave me some insight on ppl i didn’t really know on my tribe, and also they gave me a tarot reading, and it basically said that while i’m probably gonna have to deal with some bullshit, i just have to use everything i’ve learned to get over any obstacles, and stay calm and collected through it all. i’m really really praying for this one, since we just lost immunity, and now chris is going to the outhouse, i’m afraid that i’m truly all alone now. and if there’s one thing that scares me it’s being alone. i really like mikki tho, and i heard benj was good ppl. maybe if i let them know that raffy might have the half idol then maybe they’d be more inclined to work with me, but i also really enjoy raffy’s presence, so i don’t really want him to be a target. blake and i have had a good amount of dialogue so i’m hoping that he’d be willing to work with me, to be honest. ughhhhh why why why tribal. WHY TRIBAL. in all my years of playing tumble survivor i’ve never been sent to like…and exile or redemption island ONCE. not once….ever…. please god let me get to the outhouse just one time.

First of all, lemme just say I'm so amused by how quickly my chances of no-votes went RIGHT out the door. But also thank god that it went off without a hitch! And right before a swap, no less New tribe is definitely iconic. LOVE Jinx, Captain and Jude are cool too, and then my Llih buddies are also v nice to have (shoutouts monty and joey)

Tua supremacy babey

https://youtu.be/oP7DWOnmt40

https://youtu.be/Z3_pyWTdRh8

https://youtu.be/UFshPYJ98z0

hello confessional booth... i'm here to give you um. something i hope!!!!

well since the swap, i feel like i've managed to fit in better than i expected cause ive been feeling under the weather and i don't rlly have energy to talk to anyone (which is so great that our tribe won this IC) but i rlly need to work on that more for sure..

joey wants to work with me.. like a lot. we worked together for a bit in CoW before he was voted out and he was a great ally to me back then so i think i can trust joey a little bit? and he rlly wants the pocs to go far so i think this is a good sign.

with jinx, we've been wanting to talk about the outhouse thing but jinx wants to call and i've been feeling sick so we haven't called but hopefully we can do that soon. i trust jinx a lot and i know they're gonna take care of me.

jude.. you know i like her since i saw her intro vid so yup gonna need to talk to her more!!!

lily c.. my fellow teacher pls SFSFSDFSD i enjoy our chat a lot like idt its much but every time we talk, with her, it just feels great and nice and like we just get to know each other so far so i hope we can talk game a bit more but we'll see

lily o.. we haven't talked since the day the swap happened. idk why. maybe she's busy or maybe i should dm her first so i think i'm gonna do that tmr my time if i have the energy.

and monty... PLEASE idk if i can trust monty or not. like he's a good friend of mine but my experience in orgs with them is that they tried to break the swp apart (which was smart but then mikki and i are both playing so gotta keep an eyes on them)

i'm just trying to feel good and hopefully recover soon cause i hate being sick. idk i'm scared of covid!!!!! but i haven't gone outside for a week or two methinks so we're gonna pray and see.

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missing mikki and hope she will be fine

Blake suggested starting an OG Eneer alliance to Mikki and Benj. They took them up on the offer so I guess I am in my first alliance of the game based on arbitrary reasons. In any case, they seem to want to vote out Chips which is a RIP. But whatever keeps me safe for one more round.

I don’t have an obsession with the Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood sketch from SNL... No I clearly don’t... https://youtu.be/whfQf3Pd5bU

It’s my chronic overthinking in this swap that is going to do me in, I feel. It’s the pressure of having to actually think differently, and coming off of EVERYTHING I’ve seen in this community over the past 6 months, oh good Lord have mercy, I feel as though its so hard for me to want to not sacrifice my game, but at the same time... I feel all the pressure in the world to flip. I did have a lucid dream that if I got to a point where I consistently voted only white people at every Council, it would make my game look REALLY good by comparison, since I literally did everything I could, and no, I don’t want to hear anyone post season say this was rigged for Jinx, it’s not, we’re only going to go against each other down the road because of how this season has been set up, and it breaks my heart

https://photos.app.goo.gl/eSvSGkc4zmBfnYVP7

So here's some tea I suppose. I was a pretty big fan of the tribe swap because people talked more in general. This was particularly interesting considering their different timezones but continued ability to keep up conversation. It was pretty apparent that I was at a numbers deficit from my original tribe but my hope was that people didn't want to play like "that" and then if they did that my former tribe would throw it to keep the numbers. Apparently that is not true as Lily C went as hard as possible to win a challenge she could have convincingly thrown as an "accident" multiple times. At any rate, based on the total lack of communication with me concerning who I am voting it is evident that either the plan is to vote someone without telling me or that it is to vote me. This means that regardless of the situation I am in a terrible position and will be leaving sooner rather than later. I don't know that I've been swap screwed in the past (perhaps, I've been playing for too long) but it really stinks.

For the TL;DR watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzftXB28gBE

http://www.purplerockpodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/survivor-pearlislands-lillian-morris-no-sir.gif

As I'm writing this, I have a big gulp from... you guessed it... 7/11. I need to flip on one of the three of Monty, Lily O, and Lily C. My best option is going to vote for Lily O, I need Monty and Lily C to know I'm only doing this because yanno, things look awfully awful, and the pressure of making the right move and yet making sure I don't lose relationships is starting to get to me.

I also need them as shields because theyre the only winners in this game, and I need them here as shields for down the road heading into a merge.

I can't even believe I found TWOA IDOLS! I had to think a lot about who to give it too but I decided to do what felt like the smartest thing to do. Jinx and Captain already trust me and I enjoy Ricky but he gives semi chaotic energy. With that in mind, I had to give it to Jude as a sign of faith. Not only am I wanting her to do well, but I want to prove to her I legit want to work with her come merge 😊

https://youtu.be/vOn8Zsi0njA

https://youtu.be/UWTB-LYjbu0

for Chips: https://youtu.be/lSeDZdSEl4o

#tsaw #episodes

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faithis2beawake · 4 years ago

Note

All for the vaguely NSFW asks 😈😈

1. Are looks important in a relationship?~ yeah i think so,,,like not in a shallow way, though, everyone has different versions of what they believe beauty to be. but i do think that being able to find that beauty in someone one is in a relationship with is important & a lot of that has to do with the person’s heart in my opinion. i’m overthinking this lmao but looks do have a lot to do with a person’s soul & values.

2. Are relationships ever worth it?~ in my experience, no. but i’ve had a lot of bad experiences so don’t listen to me.

3. Are you a virgin?~ no

4. Are you in a relationship?~ no

5. Are you in love?~ i don’t know

6. Are you single this year?~ ??? uhhh for the most part yes ?

7. Can you commit to one person?~ i can but i’d rather not

8. Describe your crush~ nah i’m good

9. Describe your perfect mate~ someone who respects me & genuinely cares about me. y’know. the bare minimum.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?~ no

11. Do you ever want to get married?~ no

12. Do you forgive betrayal?~ not truly. i really try to but it’s always very hard for me to actually forgive the person & stop holding it against them. something i’m working on.

13. Do you get jealous easily?~ nah

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?~ i don’t know stop lol

15. Do you have any piercings?~ yes 3 on each earlobe

16. Do you have any tattoos?~ nah i wish

17. Do you like kissing in public?~ no not rlly

20. Do you shower every day?~ no my skin is too dry for that lmao but i do most days

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?~ yes

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?~ possibly

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?~ yeah

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?~ no

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?~ no

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?~ yes

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?~ yes

28. Have you ever been cheated on?~ not that i know of

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?~ no

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?~ not really?? one of my eyes is kinda lazy but it’s growing on me

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?~ oh loads of times

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?~ yes

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?~ no

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?~ yes

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?~ yes

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?~ yes

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?~ yes

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?~ absolutely

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?~ yes

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?~ yes lol very bad poetry but poetry nonetheless

41. Have you had sex so far this year?~ yes

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?~ if i’m sure it’s consensual? not long at all. i’m a horny gremlin

43. How long was your longest relationship?~ 8 months uhhh yikes

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?~ i guess 5

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?~ how do you expect me to remember things ? ig i was like 13 so no one

46. How many times did you have sex last year?~ oh god so many times i lost count

47. How old are you?~ 21

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?~ go for it lmao

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?~ i do not

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?~ yes but that wouldn’t happen

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?~ yes

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?~ yes. they are terrible, abusive, selfish people.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?~ no

54. Is there someone you will never forget?~ plenty of people

55. Share a relationship story.~ we just finished seeing mamma mia 2 in theaters & i took them outside & kissed them in the rain. it was kinda magical.

56. State 8 facts about your body~ I have a patch of freckles on my left thigh, I have stretch marks on my ass & thighs, i have short fingernails, i have terrible joints, my skin is super soft bc i very much believe in moisturizing, i have love handles, i am somewhat muscular but nothing too impressive, & my hair is naturally super curly

57. Things you want to say to an ex~ did you ever really care? honestly? (super dramatic ik)

58. What are five ways to win your heart?~ remembering the really important things, remembering small details, words of encouragement/affirmation, touch me for the sake of touching me & being close to me, & uhhh just be intimate w me

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)~ u may see me in my icon

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?~ just about a year

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?~ their voice

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?~ not to be not-vaguely nsfw & a Bottom but tie me up & make me beg

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?~ all individuals being satisfied & content in their experienced pleasure

64. What is your definition of cheating?~ when one gets involved with another without the other person(s)�� knowing

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?~ i can’t pick a favorite

66. What is your favourite roleplay?~ i’ve never actually tried roleplay!

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?~ going to see a play on a cold night then maybe hot chocolate, hand holding, & lots of things that provide warmth

68. What is your sexual orientation?~ lesbian ig

69. What turns you off?~ selfishness, arrogance, lack of compassion/empathy, lack of good hygiene

70. What turns you on?~ basically the opposites of my turn offs & some other stuff that one may find out if theyre lucky

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?~ i lucid dream a lot & believe me, u don’t wanna know

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?~ anything that displays that i’m doing a good job and the other person(s) is/are feeling good

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?~ hug me for gods sake

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?~ im a sucker for some brown eyes dude

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?~ myles set up a little date for us on animal crossing it was genuinely so kind

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?~ i don’t remember anything i ever do

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?~ as long as it involves consenting adults then idrc

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?~ why would i tell u

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?~ when my cat gave love to anyone other than me >:(

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?~ i told my brother just now

81. Who are five people you find attractive?~ nah im not gonna do that lmao

82. Who is the last person you hugged?~ mars !!!

83. Who was your first kiss with?~ a guy named jake in high school <3 he was cool

84. Why did your last relationship fail?~ a lot of reasons

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?~ it depends

yeah i was either super vague or too descriptive apologies~~ im super touch starved rn lmao so im a mess whoops ~ thanks so much for the asks tho <33 xxx

#asks #about me #hey there stranger #i also got rlly salty about past relationships bc im still healing ok dont look at me

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robertsbutt · 8 years ago

Photo

loooooooooove love love these panel shots

you might think im abt to impose another stupid “lOOK HOW SIMILAR” statement but im doing this to illustrate just how different (surprise!) the protags of knb and rxl are today

to first brief over robo’s personality

stupidly honest, annoyingly methodical, straight-laced, can never take a hint, always unimpressed and expressionless: that’s how robo was introduced to us and that’s how he acts in reality, but alr the danger of falling under a subconscious impression is present not even 5 pages past the pilot chap

i could tackle each of his traits as more examples turn up in the future (as long as robo continues acting like himself these examples will turn up - eventually - whether we like it or not) but i’ll just take “can never take a hint” at random: it’s not bc he’s incapable of processing the atmosphere that he ends up never taking a hint. these traits are the result of his actions rather than a cause so as such, you could even apply a clear logic on the process that leads to him being “stupidly honest” or “always unimpressed” and/or some of his other traits that are, i think tragically, the only things to appear in public view in the end

he “can never take a hint” because -> robo isn’t somebody who wld conform to social norms. you can flip the order if you find this confusing: there are ppl who cld be desperate to conform to social norms but genuinely lack the ability to pick up on cues and hints while in the case of robo, he’s adequately aware of these stuff like your average person

what isn’t average is his mindset and not his instinctual reception. we’ve seen it many times in fact in just the course of 8 chaps? reviewing their situation word by word when tomoya dragged him along to test his new club might (sadly to a superficial glance) have made robo appear stunted when he simply happens to be the owner of a very lucid and invigorative mind? bc “methodical” happens to be the way he works as a person - which is why he voices it out and works the problem as a series of steps, but when you see him saying stuff like these

i dont get how anybody can continue to think he’s unable to get social cues. he continues to break them due to a raw ferocity in his unrelenting attitude and not bc he doesn’t truly understand what it signifies. or do you assume robo’s thinking something as idiotically basic as “i’ll just apologize first?”

well that’s the thing, given his traits it’s ridiculously easy to join it up like that saying robo’s “a weird kid” or “means no harm” when that cldn’t be further frm who he is: he’s one grounded and incredibly logical kid who isn’t as removed frm social cues as his enigma might have you think. give him 2 lifetimes and he’ll still never be somebody who “accidentally caused harm,” robo is no scatterbrain

that doesn’t mean he’s causing harm on purpose, or causing harm period. he’s too busy burning himself with his own ferocity which, coincidentally, is one of the furthest points that sets him apart frm kuroko

so ye let’s get this essay on the road

in both stories and at least of what i’ve seen in rxl so far, it’s a fact that the protags are occupied with a single, major task - but robo and kuroko are occupied with vastly diff tasks

kuroko has never been abt self-upgrade. kuroko is not a person whose story wld ever be concerned with re-evaluations, painful metamorphoses or discoveries of “who am i” - knb was a huge, huge story delivered just for kuroko’s ideals. and get this, he doesn’t own the ideals. the ideals own him.

that’s how he is as a person and that’s completely ok but it’s thanks to this - the layout of the story or otherwise - that funnily i don’t think the narratives were blatant and introductory enough with kuroko’s character as a person (for ppl to pick up frm the get go)

up till this day i hesitate to call him “kind” bc these are his concepts and ideals you’re seeing. it’s not “kindness” as a force in itself and, while im mostly neutral and even like kuroko (not slandering him just so you know), i’ll never hesitate to serve the reminder that “yes he did use kagami knowingly” or that he often, literally, is unable to see or think anything else if his ideals have been impeached. it’s not egocentric either (fujimakki’s characs are forever complex and i love it sfm) kuroko is whole-hearted and void of his own person when it comes to these ideals. or you cld say his person is those ideals.

so when ppl end up calling him “crazy/amazingly devoted” or “goes to insurmountable lengths for his friends” im like “...that’s not wrong” but it’s probably not the intended meaning most ppl have either. like i said fujimakki’s characs are complex and you often, if not always, can never take what you see for their surface value. nothing is as simple as that in sensei’s stories.

none of their personalities have been touched out in the open in knb believe it or not. it’s there when you wanna think abt who each of them are as a person but with the basketball plot gliding us over, who’s got time or the immediate interest for that ey? the intensity of the matches are fucking electrifying, you’ve got focused and determined players to watch and all is good -- but matches are just one part of the players who only assume their form as players when they step on the court

a human being is really complex and made of many infinitely smaller layers

and kuroko? i’ll break it down for you

he’s got a temper

a joker

appreciates idyllic times

mischievous (yes)

tAUNTS PPL

idk abt kind but he is indeed warm

contented to live a simple life

now here’s an impt one: he’s full of energy

it’s his body that can’t keep up, not him

and energy doesn’t mean you have to exert it like hayama

i think you can see he’s having fun: he runs and trains on the court with the mindset that he’s a very regular guy with a very regular stamina despite his (lack of) strength which is why he pukes and hacks and faints so often

and he just lets it come like some fucking joker

idk he’s just so full of energy this little fucker

it’s like this: he doesn’t actively go against the fact that his body is feeble and flimsy

but he’s so idgaf and comfortably spirited that he probably thinks it’s funny when his body does stop listening (which is every time)

and since he’s well-aware his condition is like that anyway he’s just gonna train like a regular person and listen to his body when it comes (read: collapses)

which is why he can puke, and puke so blatantly well

he’s not resisting anything be it the exhaustion that saps his body of what remaining strength it has, or the tired condition of his body

he embraces it all amazingly well imo, while it’s unfortunate for ppl like momoi who wld worry for him

but i also think this is another great attitude just as is kasamatsu-senpai’s methodology (taking impressive, measured care)

since measured care isn’t for everybody tbfh, likewise with kuroko’s method: tailoring each to their own is still the fucking best

i think enough on kuroko i like robo more than him i shld be moving on

roboooooooo homeboyyyyyyy um but, well, ok, first of all

he’s serious

like... god honest he’s a serious kid. ppl say these protags are similar in their dead fish eyes and general taciturn attitude but kuroko is the way he is bc he likes the idea of relaxed and you wont ever catch him being uptight or having exaggerated responses to things the way kagami or hyuuga or aomine do (tho expressive responses is actually the norm for ppl lol)

it’s kuroko’s way of life, having a more relaxed attitude than most, why else wld he find kagami’s responses entertaining if he didn’t understand what made it funny? (dont go there you know this fucker is having fun at kagamin’s expense)

while in robo’s case it’s hardly “relaxed anything” and he genuinely wldn’t find what tickles kuroko’s bone to be funny. he’s a serious kid omg and im even glad we’re having a serious protag (for no reason other than me being a sucker for them). robo’s taciturn attitude is a direct result of his seriousness

ok, example

@ the size of kagamin’s apmt he says it with a straight face and actually means it

none of that “im secretly being a joker” (which makes him god tier imo) bc rmb what i said abt this idiot having a temper

lesser characs in other series, when given a line like kuroko’s, are kind-hearted, mean absolutely no harm with their words and are playing around with whoever they says this to but kuroko, along with his “im gonna get angry” when kagamin didn’t exactly startle him shows that he has a actual personality that is as complex as any other human (not what i wanted to point out but since im on it)

some might say it’s just kuroko not being as kind-hearted as others but i appreciate that he’s complex and not all “friends and friends we have a good time and we hold hands” despite what ppl might say of seirin

but yes that’s not the point i wanted to talk abt the humor

tho he’s not being a joker in this scene like he is when he chases kagamin with nigou that’s an very obvious sense of humor in his statement (no matter how wry)

but

and

the 2nd example cldn’t be more obvious? in knb kagamin doesn’t even do anything to incite kuroko’s biting remarks (is it his fault that his apmt is huge? really? the guy wasn’t even flaunting but kuroko tsukkomis due to his sense of humor anyway. does he really feel that mad that kagamin’s got such a spacious living space or that kagamin is living so comfortably bc he can be seriously evil towards the guy even if it fuels my kgkr needs horribly)

(no, for the record it’s not your everyday “i tease you bc i like you,” kuroko means it. he motherfucking means it bc why else wld i had felt slightly uncomfy for reasons i cldn’t explain when i witnessed the way he tortures kagamin)

while in rxl

tomoya cldn’t incite anything better in his entire presence but i feel like robo, rather politely, closes it down like a sane person every time. bc he doesn’t feel any malicious intent towards tomoya and they’re actually getting along as friends despite what you may see as a simple comedy scene bc it’s how they operate/spend time tgt/get to know and understand with their differences

i feel like this single “tomoya, i told you to stop it” with the severely exaggerated way tomo is acting is...... the very essence of robo on display for the audience. robo is serious as in his innate attitude and responses to things, not that austere is the manner in which he conducts his life

proof: he went to fucking karaoke instead of declining? break down of robo cuz im getting tired

all the above traits abt him frm pilot chap

currently searching abt sth with himself

ok with most events (he ends up getting dragged by tomo even if he hasn’t fully comprehended why he has to be there, or is it “before he has”)

the stuff he brings up or replies in a convo are like your average person

^ hello, important????? a very normal and average person

esp this “wait, i can’t exactly say i’ve decided to join”

on other more vibrant characs they’d be like “who said anything lilke that?!” or “eh...? that’s not what i said...” but robo’s reaction is the perfect picture of normalcy bc it’s impt to point out the ambiguous decision left in joining in a situation like that tbh

maybe one of his traits has to be changed to “extremely methodical”

brash and excessively bold when something illogical happens, not like a switch but a necessity to prevent further ill logic frm spreading

logic is obviously a significant matter to robo

standard kindness

#hatohara robato #knb #kuroko tetsuya #rxl

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northernjulian · 8 years ago

Text

"Lucidity Roses"

LUCIDITY ROSES ルシディ・ローゼズ

Dedicated to:

This poem, project, and visual representation of mental growth & beauty is dedicated to someone I miss dearly and think about everyday. My best friend Jaedin A. She helped me get through everything. From my first heartbreak, to my first day of suicide watch in the hospital. She was there. From crying over being abused in a relationship to crying over being locked in a hospital room. She was there. As I write this dedication with tears falling down my face like that day let it be known that I would not be here today. Mentally, and physically if it weren’t for this person. It’s nothing simple like I got an injury and she stopped the bleeding therefore she “saved my life” shit. It’s more like I couldn’t find my own injury but she stopped it from hurting by just being there with me. No matter the situation. Whether it was when I was 1,500+ miles away or just inches away she helped me push through everything that would’ve broken me. Thank you so much for existing in my era. Xox

This piece is heavily inspired by Jenny Holzers ‘Truisms’ poem. Her diverse yet obvious stanzas created beauty by the things we see and hear everyday. Basic knowledge formed together to create a intricate puzzle like piece that allows the mind to gain an insightful view. Thank you Jenny. Alongside being dedicated to my best friend Jaedin it is dedicated to those who did me wrong. Sorry to kill your vibes but no one can bring me down no matter how long they try. With all love and no hate <3 -Julian

WARNING

This is art. This is real. This is raw. I speak my mind and express everything I see and understand. This ain’t some politics-free Facebook post. Not wanting to argument with family members shit. I’ve been blocked by family members for the things I’ve said. My aunt blocked me after posting pro-black lives matter messages on my Facebook. Apparently not wanting to see my half blood brother on the news is too offensive. Wanting justice for innocent people was “too much”. Putting bad cops in the system they avoid was “too excessive”. If you can’t respect my existence or my families and friends then fuck you. This country has been hypocritical since the day it was founded, but overtime new laws and such have been put into the system yet they still treat us like the cameras ain’t recording, like the wounds ain’t showing, like the pain ain’t growing. So realize that this piece isn’t some school assembly script. This is raw and uncut like Trumps Twitter minus the fact that I’m not a damn idiot. Also while reading this piece you have to be in touch with the other side. By that I mean you have to be relaxed and at peace. Plug in headphones, white noise machine, open the window, do what you gotta do to be ready to see instead of just read. It’s like a deep song with curse words in it. You can’t listen for the words, you have to listen for the meaning. If Van Gogh painted Starry Night in an art class no one would fully appreciate it for the way it was meant to be. Art is three dimensional and up. It can be seen from many sides. Although all of them can be justified, when the artist explains what his two dimensional view of the piece is you gotta just sit back in amazement. The whole time I was writing this I had that mindset. This my canvas mindset. Knowing that each stroke on the white surface has to be better than the last. So here is my piece. My canvas. I hope you enjoy and understand.

Here is “Lucidity Roses”

— america is the biggest terrorist threat not isis all lives matter movement is a fictional movement anatomy is important for love astrology isn’t a science arian advantages are my disadvantages america escaped tyrannical governments only to become one abortion isn’t murder amendments have been broken atheists are people not afraid of death aberrant people are the future able bodied people are the most lazy abolish our current government abrasive people are common absolutism is always a bad idea abstemious people are annoying absorption of countries kills cultures acquaintance is a rude way of saying relationship adeptness is underrated altruism is key for humanity apathy controls our motivations astronomy is observable and beautiful amassing is dangerous anonymity people keep the truth alive aflame is the best way to describe America right now aptitude lovers are real aridity is rising

beautiful mornings happen everyday borders don’t stop shit branding runs capitalism blue lives matter is equal to all lives matters blue people don’t exist bernie should’ve won bravery comes in many forms bruce becoming caitlin was important for this generation baby boomers blame everything on anyone younger bombs are never precise boys don’t cry, men do tho bitches aren’t women bad bitch isn’t a compliment babies show us life in it’s pure form baptism doesn’t save every child of god baptism didn’t keep me holy bottles ease the pain boredom is a first world problem bacteria is everywhere germaphobes being called something besides your name is great blonde was album of the year black lives matter buying expensive things have repercussions baffling is trumps best and only skill burning the flag doesn’t help anything basketball is the best sport

crying in the rain feels good creativity is the key to a new world conspiracy theories aren’t reality cherry blossoms are natures physical form of love condolences are appreciated cancer can be stopped censorship stops art ceasefires never truly cease fire cultures are not to be mocked colors all have meaning codes control our superficial social media currently waiting for closure classical mythologies were once religions civilizations never disappear fully cobain was murdered ceasar once ruled the world callisto needs to be explored carbon dioxide emissions are real cherokee are the toughest natives christmas is definitely the most wonderful time chickenpox in america wasn’t an accident cold war was the scariest war columbus didn’t find shit captain avery was a genius camo clothes are never out of fashion crucifixion is over the top

dark nights only make brighter days death penalty is overpriced depression is real denying science and facts gave us trump don’t argue with science devil dances to inner city anthems death lurking in my thoughts lately da vinci was the closest thing to perfection drake runs our generation dogs are impossible to hate divinity is possible in our form diamonds are perfection doomsayers don’t enjoy their life dormant volcanoes are relatable dancing is art dinosaurs exist despite being held back we succeeded desperate people are the most sick different place this planet is nowadays dying is overrated dust shows authenticity dyed my hair for this rebirth defense is a form of offense dreams mean something doing thangs for myself deities exist in us

“every night fucks everyday up” emptiness is a curse everyone is beautiful in their own way exercise is a reliable stress reliever eagles are sacred earth deserves better easter island disappeared electromagnetism control our sense of direction extinct species show how precious life is endorphins are off in my mind epicenter disasters happen in our minds too egyptians had the smarts of unearthly creatures einstein got sad over things he didn’t understand too errors in our ways are to be fixed not ignored effective ways to love vary on the person elsewhere exist on our minds equality is bullshitted in our world eventually everything falls endings are emotionally exhausting efforts mean everything egos are killed by assholes education isn’t always important for a better world eternal life happens when you love life ethnic cleansing still happens today ethics are not negotiable eyes perceive more than the physical

fuck trump by the way fires burn inside flowers are unreal football is a life damaging sport “faults break into pieces” freezing points are breaking points futura is a great font fonts are key pieces for expression focusing isn’t something gained through pills fallacies run our political system futuristic ideas were once sci-fi ideas finding love is very important fire was once considered magic freedom isn’t real in america fresh fruits are being created as if they were artificial for the last time the earth isn’t flat fascism exist in our america fuel exist in many forms feminism is needed for this generation fake love is true evil false prophets are average humans fables are more than just cute fake news doesn’t exist only inaccurate news faithfulness isn’t difficult when you aren’t an asshole fanatics are just passionate, not crazy feedback is appreciated

guys can be pretty too generalization is the key to all problems global warming is real great barrier reef is almost gone gothic art is the realist art gambling is the currency form of lust geniuses exist in many fields generosity can go a long way geometry is the simplest form of math ghost exist giggles are always nice glaciers are separating glaring is rude girls glisten glitter beauty is magical goddesses are women goals should always be pursued go all out with anything you get some time for yourself gain respect towards those who hurt from things you can’t see great wall didn’t stop the mongols good people exist gasoline isn’t worth killing people over goodnight messages mean a lot good morning messages mean more gestures mean more than words

hells exist beyond our minds health care should always be free heavens exist in our minds hesitation kills motivation highly favorable people were once underrated homophobia isn’t real, being an asshole is homosexuality is just as natural as heterosexuality hogs represent rich people houses aren’t homes unless they’re made into one home is where the love is highlights of life are everything without a price high beams on a dark road how do some people live with themselves? hidden in plain sight things are extraordinary hello starts every conversation height is superficial hierarchy only worked for the pharaohs hire the unfavored heels shouldn’t be a beauty standard heavens gate is no different from christianity heavens gate is a religion hashtag save our girls happiness has me believing i made heaven harassment is cruel to humanity hardly anything is real anymore help is never too far away

i feel like pablo making my own art i’m just human isis doesn’t represent islam imperialism is the reason rome fell imperialism is the reason we shall fall immigrants made america i’m sad as shit when i’m alone i can also be happy as shit when i’m alone i see race i just don’t care about it internet is overrated and superficial inferior things are not always the problem invasion of foreign countries is never reasonable ice cream is good for the soul ignorance isn’t a bliss illogical facts are “alternative facts” illumination of the mind is inspiring imagination is the only drug we need islam has no relation to terrorism impossible is only a word infuriating people lead to a dumber generation infallible beliefs are close minded inhabiting foreign lands ruined cultures informing is not insulting innovation is suppressed in our world instincts are always right intelligence is uncommon

jim jones was the furthest thing from the messiah jesus was brown jean-michel basquait was our van gogh just kidding isn’t an excuse for your assholeness jealousy ruins more relationships than actual issues jewels aren’t worth the killing judges have sympathy journalists can be bias joy is a great feeling justice is failing in america judging others is natural jungles need protection jades are the perfect shade of green jewelry is a classism statement journey around the world if you can jump into new things don’t be scared jokes keep the sadness at bay jumble things are sometimes more beautiful than neat things jaunts are good for you jigsaws relate to our lives justifying racism is impossible judaism is the most neglected religion join the cause jackson was killed by a doctor jerichos’ horn is heard all around world just wondering if i’ll make it in life

keep thinking positive things and they will happen killing for peace is a hypocritical phenomenon kings never end happily ever after kind people are the most beautiful keep your family close knowing isn’t always understanding kkk is a terrorist organization kids bring the family together kanye is a smart man keep yourself your number one priority kissing is just as addictive as drugs kahlo is the best artist ever karma will get you kaitlin lives forever keep the bullshit away kaleidoscopes sparked my creativity kd betrayed his team keep it real keep the faith kepler telescope watches the heavens kepler-452b is our last resort kgb tactics are still in use kick back and get dreamin killing the innocent happens too often killing by accident happens too kidnapping is the worst crime against humanity

loving and sex are two different things legends never live life is a clusterfuck love doesn’t have a gender loneliness craves company lying is an insult to ones morality les brown motivates me lucidity roses is my canvas lucidity roses is life lust for life losing is better than not trying living shouldn’t be bordered by rules lying is an insult to yourself leaving incompetent people isn’t wrong or bad loving those who others don’t is perfect let go every once and awhile laws shouldn’t be bribed lawyers shouldn’t defend sick people lurking gets us hurt lies formed history last night stories are the best lately i’ve been feeling sad lyrics always have deeper meanings last doesn’t always mean something bad lines divide us like paper layoffs are necessary for a new world

majorities blame their problems on minorities mind over matter meditation is a mental workout mental injuries are worse than physical ones make america united again make your dreams a reality men don’t understand motherhood motherhood is a connection like no other “my eyes had a gleam once” my intentions are always good, my actions aren’t always tho meddling in others relationships is disrespectful mexico is a beautiful country manipulated by our politicians managing friendships is tiring morgues show us life after death minerals are running low mindsets vary on time sets marrying just to cheat is unacceptable and wrong mothers are responsible for our nurture vs nature thinking missing people who hurt you is ass-backwards “might've” has no meaning in the present masculinization insults the free spirits makaveli escaped to cuba magna carta is the way of the people mask show more than the person behind it medications should be free mcdonalds runs america

nothing happens for a reason nights with the person you love is better than anything nothing is as intimate as love never have i or will i say “president trump” narcissism got me through my depression nihilism is the truest religion ‘no more parties in la’ nobody pray for me! no means no never think about the past names always deserve a deeper meaning narrow minded people are ruining our country nikes is perfect natural beauty is the perfect form of art news stations are almost always biased nirvana is close by.. nagging gets you nowhere nowadays people aren’t living in the now newcomers deserve respect newcomers deserve recognition nazism is still active in america north is the main direction never love someone you wouldn’t wanna wake up with narcotics control the banks nasa deserves better never judge something you don’t understand

our system is corroded ousting exposes jealousy outfits describe our personalities overnight love is the best ocean needs protection oceans display vibes omitting happiness is brighter than any rays omega is more dominant than alpha order is tyrannical orgasms vary oracles saw illusions odd problems can become the most dangerous ones mental state is a number one priority oak is the most refreshing wood obligate yourself to everything you love oblivion exist only if you open the portal to it oblivious people are the loudest only illegal humans are those who manipulate the public our greatest internal struggle is wanting what we give old white people should have no say on racial issues obliterating countries doesn’t solve problems obnoxious people are common occasional personal days are necessary off days are the worst days offer yourself to the ones you love old times are gone, forget them

past civilizations were more advanced than current ones peoples temple was a suicide group political corruption runs our system police gotta stop killing us pro-black isn’t anti-white philosophies vary on mindsets philosophers were once seen as irrelevant picassos’ rose period is my life season political parties are for small minded people politics separated my family permafrost love is gonna be a visual perfect people only exist when you become in love with someone pesticides are just as bad for humans than bugs push through the tough shit pulling someone closer is a form of intimacy purple is a sexual color purest forms of intimacy are decided by lovers please love someone before you leave this planet peaceful protest are always manipulated by fox news party whenever you can for however long you can pretty isn’t a girl only word panama was split for financial reasons peaks are the top of our lives pastor keeps the followers with hope paparazzi got no respect please don’t stop living

quit slut shaming sexually active people quit calling every female a bitch quality over quantity all the time questions without answers are possible quiet people are a blessing quotes were unappreciated at their time qualm thoughts are stressful quantum mechanics are the future qualified people can still be stupid queens don’t need kings quickly doing things is sloppy quicksand is the physical metaphor of depression quilts are comfortable canvases quixotic love is the best love quizzing us on things we don’t know is irrational quotation marks aren’t needed for the words you say quran isn’t evil quran is equal to the beautiful quarantining sad people is cruel quarantined orcas need to be freed #fuckseaworld quite a few good things in life we don’t appreciate quitting is never the answer quit fucking with people who don’t care for you queer isn’t an insult question everything you don’t understand quasars represent underdogs

reverse racism isn’t real respect your elders those who respect you roses show more beauty than we can comprehend “respect existence or expect resistance” rest in peace selena respect for women shouldn’t be gained through knowing one remember the good days every chance you get real friends make time for you release week was dope reality is distorted raw art is the truth we need ranting proves you can think random compliments are the best compliments reading puts you in another world reducing stress is impossible in our world refusing facts isn’t always because ignorance remember that you matter runaway with the person you love runaway is also a perfect song, thanx kanye roses are red roses aren’t dead riding with your friends is peaceful reintroducing people is lovely radiation levels are unnatural radical ideas are barbaric rapist don’t deserve a casket

“special shoutout to the icon dynasty slip and slide records” science is the forerunner of every subject self control is a uncommon blessing support planned parenthood support stem cell research sexism is at an all time high sadness has me believing i belong in a sanitarium sexual fantasies are normal scientist don’t lie, politicians do stop being scared secrets are esoteric seducing has to be wanted school makes me feel stupid sadness dissipates when we begin to live smoking kills shea made me sad shan made me happy strong people exist satanist aren’t bad people say no to *bad* drugs seeing old friends is refreshing sad and mad emotions ruin lives safe sex is rare saints were once sinners sinners were once saints see what i’m saying?

tranquility is achieved through our minds the meaning of life is happiness thank you for the inspiration frank o. tupac is still alive for me the world is ours taste of lips is a drug the only thing we need is love tattoos tell stories that words can’t “to die without leaving a corpse..” thank the universe or your deity everyday “torture is barbaric” the day is as only as bright as you make it tired is a real excuse for not doing things trading your soul for something always ends bad trendsetters aren’t original treat everyone you meet with respect trying to educate the ignorant is pointless tattoos at a young age show defiance tattoos don’t look gross when you get older tips are small but meaningful today is the beginning of a new life. timid people are usually the brightest tacky clothes are fun tell people how special they are tell your deepest secrets to no one take it easy

uncles’ are usually pieces of shit..lookin at you lencho using someone for sex is inhumane ultimately what defines us is our actions, not words u is the saddest song ever umbrellas are cliché understanding someone helps them get better unfortunately we can’t stop time under pressure we can sprout unite the world together again unlikely doesn’t mean impossible unless you’re dead nothing can stop you unusual organisms see us as unusual too urges can be handled uplift everyones spirits unnamed sources are the realist sources untruth the lies using the system to beat it is smart unnecessary comments don’t have to be necessary upload your experiences update your friends as much as possible urgent care is a sad place universe is in us us is nice to say uttering words isn’t always the best idea urban legends are fun to read about until we stop fighting we’ll never start loving

violins are the most beautiful instrument vibrant things give me happiness videotapes are ancient versatile mindsets are necessary very important people are not strangers with money vikings found america vivid dreams are future scenes vaccines don’t cause autism voice your opinion no matter where you live volume never seems loud enough version one is draft like vintage art is overrated verbal abuse is the worst versions show both sides view life differently vote based off personality not political party valleys are scary versace is godlike voices are deceiving vaults are examples of paranoia vice versa situations are just normal situations very good people are always unheard of veterans shouldn’t be veterans venture into the wild visit family as much as you can versus the world

would trump let jesus in our country? women deserve better “wishing things away is not effective” quote jenny we face the inner struggle of the penitent and impenitent thief war on drugs is a waste of time and money wes lang is the descendant of basquait women can hurt men too whiners can’t be choosers winning is just as scary as losing wearing all black is beautiful wanting what you can’t have is cruel would you like you? wishing for the best holds back the best watching people be themselves is interesting why do they keep killing us? when’s tranquility gonna reach us welcome new people like family weddings are a form of art why questions will never be answered why are we here? why do we battle things we can’t see? why do good things happen to bad people? why do bad things happen to good people? why is there a why if it can’t be answered? willpower is yours winning is the only option

xenophobia is wrong not matter how trump puts it xenophile is a lover for high class things xerophytic people are the strong yet depressed humans xanax are for those sad people xeriscape was created for another dustbowl xerothermic weather isn’t normal xenobiotic compounds are even antihuman xerophile organisms are relatable xenogeny is the creation and start of life xat have spiritual energies xenocide is happening to our own species xenoepist think you’re a xenoepist xenomorphs exist xeronisus happens when you don’t love that person xickovit of this country xox means a lot to me x’ing out the bad people like tic-tac-toe xanthippe was the opposite of socrates xenial countries are declining xenocracy founded america xenophobia is runs our country right now xenophobic is like homophobic, so it’s not real xanax are bad for you xenophiles need to know their boundaries x marks the spot xoxo

you don’t have to be in love to make love yelling should only be for sports events years pass like the seasons year-round happiness is important yikes at our country yearbooks shouldn’t be the only time we appreciate each other yearning is a sin but an understandable one yearlong relationships are rare yellow is the most vibrant color y chromosome organisms have no right over double x organisms y chromosome doesn’t excuse being disrespectful yellowstone is gonna explode soon yes is all you need to hear for consent ying yang symbol is life in simple terms yogism is the purest philosophy you can’t expect the unexpected your only priority is you you’ll never know what someone else is going through you are loved you are noticed you are always on someones mind you deserve better you can succeed you can inspire you will be happy you are you

zenith empires eventually fell zero was created by the mayans zodiac signs are bullshit zygotes show us how related we are zeal mindsets are important for our generation zelo was nikes brother zeal mindsets can be dangerous zero first world problems are important zuckerberg made billions off our generation zirconia isn’t diamond zero hour is the best time of the day zeta is an unearthly letter zev (zero emission vehicles) were the future zigzagging down a dark road zika needs to be defeated. zionism fucked over jerusalem zodiac killer was found zoos’ need to be more natural zebra stripes are mesmerizing zealous juries can free the criminals zaddy turns no one on zoning people out is risky zombies is who our voting system was built for zoetropes still amaze me zero stars show in the daytime zero people can talk shit about me now —

Everything in this project has meaning. Everything. I would stay up til the early hours of the morning just thinking and trying to tell my story while correlating it with symbols and clues. Notice how there is every letter in the alphabet on here twenty six times? That was a tribute to Holzers style she had on “Truisms”. Notice how every letter is lowercased? Also a tribute to Holzer. The cover art, hand drawn by the way, the cover is a skull with three roses coming out of it. Those three roses represent the three loves of my life. From best to worst going left to right. The words above them show what they gave and introduced me to. Love, lust, and lorn. All of these things are apart of life. The three emotions we all are controlled by in life. The three things that can break us from ourselves. That’s why the skull is there. After all those things I had to endure I felt nothing but dead inside. On the outside it was visible too. From the days my mother would ask me what’s wrong to the days I would break down at school. It was visible. I seemed dead on the inside. They say nothing is as dry as the bone, but I found a way to push through. My rebirth allowed me to show the world I am still here. After my battles with love a rose grew, after my battles with lust a rose grew, and even after being beat down and almost held away from the light that helped me grow, a rose grew from lorn. I am still recovering from these three things. The roses vary in stages because of this. Lorn was the most impactful on me hence why the rose is the smallest of the three. It is taking time to heal from these things, but I am reborn. Three things that have claimed my last three years. From the day after middle school ended where I was in my room all day crying because I never took a chance at shit to the first day of suicide watch. These are my past lessons. This is my life. Thank you all for allowing me to fully expose this. I hope that this can inspire you to become the best you. I hope this can inspire you that no matter how crazy, lonely, and heartbroken you feel you’re never alone on this crazy ride we call life. Thank you very much. Xoxo -Julian

P.S – Three is my lucky number

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surveys-at-your-service · 8 years ago

Text

Survey #71

“i know i said, ‘my heart beats for you;’ i was lying, girl, well it beats for two, ‘cuz i’ve got your love, and i’ve got these vices.”

bow ties on guys, dorky or adorable? PRECIOUS have you ever died in one of your dreams? i have. do you believe in demonic possession? how about ghosts? angels? i believe in all these as a religious person. my own sister knows someone who, supposedly anyway, died in an exorcism. what would you say is your worst flaw? i ALWAYS jump to the worst possible conclusion. if an ex said they hated you, you say? aaron: "i would hate me too if you knew me for only who i was in the 7th grade." juan: "i'm not all that fond of you half the time, either." jason: "your dick sure didn't." do you have a friend whose name begins with 'c'? describe him/her. colleen! she's a leader, she's brave, she's honest, she admits to being rather cold-hearted, but i love her. you've got an unread message on facebook! who do you want it to be from? i always wish it to be jason. what if the person you miss walked into the room right now? i would scream his name, jump out of bed, pull him into it, and hug the fuck out of him. who was the last person you added to your phone's contacts? jax. she gave me her number last night, which made me feel awesome, knowing she trusts me like that. (: do you plan on having children in the future? i do. how many i have depends on how pregnancy/childbirth is and my husband's preference. do you believe that the world will actually end? eventually, inevitably. would you rather watch a comedy movie or horror movie? horror are you good at admitting your problems? very much so. do you know a hoarder? i do. can you do a split? i never could, even when i was a dancer. what would you name your daughter if you had one? alessandra quinn<3 what would you name your son if you had one? i'm beginning to think vincent luther, idk. do you spell the color as grey or gray? "gray." "grey" is the european spelling. do you prefer titanic or the notebook? both are very romantic and beautiful, but "the notebook" if you have a nickname, what is it? just "britt." nothing special. who’s your favorite person in the world? jason. what medical conditions do you have? severe depression, anxiety, ptsd, bpd is heavily in question, essential tremor in hands. how many times have you been to the hospital? four or five times, all for mental reasons. what religion will you raise your children to practice? christianity. how old are you and where are you from? i'm about to be 21 and i'm from north carolina, usa. do you subscribe to beauty channels on youtube? what ones? no, i get enough beauty knowledge from randl when they decide to do some stupid shit on gmm. what do you think of people that do drugs? i feel bad for them. who was the first person you told about your first kiss? i don't think i told anyone. it just didn't seem necessary. have you ever peed in the woods? i tried to, but i couldn't. what about pooped in the woods? omg no way i never could. would you kill a dog for 1 million dollars? fuck that. had gossip written about you on the bathroom wall? not that i know of. have you ever used a sex toy? no. seen someone get killed\or die in front of you? no, but i saw a biker get hit by a car once. thank GOD he didn't die. have you been to the movies lately? what movie did you see anyways? colleen, chelsea, and i recently went to this run-down movie theater that was hosting a kid's movie for a buck. it was "trolls." we just went for the fun of it, and the movie ended up being extremely cute. have you ever used a muscle stimulator before? did it hurt? no, i haven't. have you ever watched the golden girls? omg i love that show yaaaaas did you ever like the ninja turtles? no. i steer clear of the whole franchise now... jason (as well as his brother) was really, really into them as a kid and for some reason him saying he was 100% raising our kids on it stuck with me. would you rather your daughter look to princesses or female superheroes as role models? she could really look up to either, but if i had my preference, superheroes. the princess stories of the past too commonly make them appear as damsels in distress. meanwhile, the stereotypical female superhero takes action. just another thing jason and i talked about in regards to our future kids... i miss believing that would happen. would you rather be very much in love with one person and have no other friends, or have a large group of supportive and loving friends, but never find your “soul mate”? be in love with one person. give me jason and destroy the rest of the world, i don't care. have you ever lucid dreamed? would you like to, or does the thought of being able to control your dreams scare you? i haven't, but i guess it'd be cool. where did you get the pants you’re wearing? hottopic have you ever been given a rose? yes. pink ones, from jason. have you ever built a snowman? multiple times. remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? we were playing on his bed. he had me pinned down and his face was close to mine. i think he was expecting for me to beg for mercy for him to stop tickling me. i kissed him instead, and he blushed so hard, then just smiled at me. i wish i could see happiness like that again one day. how are you feeling? very nostalgic and worried. mom said the letter should reach jason's house by today. do you think someone is eventually going to break your heart? it's already broken. so. what song are you listening to, if any? "blessed with a curse" by bring me the horizon. this song wrecks me but i fucking love it. "everything i touch turns to stone, so wrap your arms around me and leave me on my own" fucking destroys me and gives me goosebumps every time wtf. do you wear short shorts? hell no. i like to actually cover my ass. would you get your nipples pierced? nope. whats the best word to use: sleep with, shag, fuck, sex, make love: "make love" is absolutely the most romantic and sincere-sounding. green apples or red apples? red. but they HAVE to be crispy. what is an album art cover you just simply adore? "see you on the other side" by korn has a really sweet cover. who is your favorite movie director? tim burton!! would you rather sing or dance in front of your crush? i've done both in front of him, but errrr... as of now, i'd rather do neither. i've only done a choreographed dance in front of him, and the only time i truly sang in his presence was at church. how old do you think you should be to lose your virginity? i personally think you should at least an adult. just so your body is prepared for the chance of conceiving. and don't give me the, "just use protection" excuse, shit fails. what is your favorite type of jewelry? i swear i have to correct the spelling of "jewelry" in every survey i take. anyway, if we're not counting piercings, i guess rings. what is your favorite sex position? ;) i've only ever dry-humped in missionary style, and that's always been fine with me. have you ever owned a ouija board? no. i've always wanted to frame a cool one in my house tho??? do you like pina coladas? never tried one. what is the goriest thing you've seen in real life? probably my own knees after the skinned the fuck outta them. blood and pus all over the place. what is your favorite angry music? in my head, i picture the album "saint anger" by metallica to be like the pinnacle expression of anger. all the songs relate to it somehow. which is better smoking or vaping? well i mean... obviously vaping is. it still has its flaws, though. do you prefer to be pale or tan? don't say in between: pale, honestly. do you prefer white or black electronics? black. looks cleaner. are you a good kisser (make out)? supposedly. robert downey jr. — bet you have a crush on him: very mildly, i assume. he is physically attractive and his confidence is, too. if you went on american idol, do you think you’d go through to hollywood? ehhhh, i don't know. do you plan on seeing the black swan? no. when it came out, mom thought it was a bad idea because it supposedly involves self-mutilation/suicidal tendencies. have you ever wanted your significant other to get rid of a friend? no. when jason and i dated, i was... suspicious sometimes of one, but yet i didn't mind him. i should've. he helped convince jason to leave me. do you ever go to blockbuster? how frequently would you say you go? omg i miss that store... i used to go aaaall the time for games. do you have any haters? i'm sure i do. briar, jason's friend, made it abundantly clear he hates me. dillon doesn't like me, or else he wouldn't have told jason to leave me. i'm sure rachel still hates my guts. jason's ashley probably doesn't like me, because i'm sure j's talked shit about me. are you happy with your boobs? no, i wish they were smaller... when i was a healthy weight, i was a c, but since becoming overweight, i'm a d, and i'm aware it's not just because my breasts grew naturally, a lot of it is fat from weight gain. do you like to wear dresses? i haven't worn one except for ashley's wedding in years, but yeah, i liked wearing them when i was smaller... have you ever been a part of a threesome? fuck that shit, no. did you baby-sit for money when you were in middle school? no. who was the last person to ask you out? juan, kinda indirectly. do you have a nice butt? no. it's a pancake, but i guess i don't hate it too much because it was enough for jason to enjoy. has your friend ever held your hand and it made you feel uncomfortable? juan did once, and i was extremely uncomfortable. have you ever had any really infected injuries? the cyst i had was infected. otherwise, no. how long have you liked the person you like right now? five years... what did your dress for prom look like? i'll just share two pictures where you can see the two dresses clearly, i guess. the first is from j's senior prom (i was tripping in them heels, hence why i’m standing kinda funny), the second from my senior prom. got fucking cold sweats looking for these pictures... i miss being that happy. i miss seeing HIM that happy. what the fuck happened.

does anyone make you feel inferior? if so, who, and why? do you feel superior to anyone? who and why? colleen makes me feel inferior, but i know she doesn't intend it at all. she's just... so much better and more accomplished. she faces life's battles head-on and tackles everything to her best ability. she's great. i don't feel superior to anyone. do you get bad pms, or is it not so bad? not that bad since i started birth control. are you in a good mood right now? i'm decent, i guess. who is your favorite super hero? batman! who is your favorite villain? harley quinn, absolutely. i relate to her so much. have you ever played the guitar? i used to. the best i could do was nail the intro to "sweet child of mine" and i was okay at the intro to "crazy train." would you rather be called honey or baby? "hunny" sounds much sweeter. if your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say? "that's impossible." do you enjoy piercings & tattoos? yaaaas, boo. what do you think of the last person you kissed? he's an angel without a god. your last kiss probably meant nothing to you, right? every kiss we shared meant the world. have you ever gone to a strip club? if not, would you ever go? no, and i absolutely never will. i want nothing to do with that filthy fucking business. how old were you when you first learned how to put in a tampon? idk, actually. i used pads for the longest time, until i wanted to try tampons. i was SO scared i was going to put it, er, in the "wrong hole" did you like the spice girls when you were little? hell yeah! would you rather kill your ex boyfriend or justin bieber? er, neither? do you believe your ex cares about you? i... don't know. did you have a dream last night? yes. i dreamt i had a crush on someone new. i don't remember his name and barely how he even looked, but... the feeling that i was feeling things for someone other than jason, it was wild. what’s the last movie you watched? with who? i watched "brother bear 2" with chelsea. your best friend tells you how she felt when she first gave head; your reaction? lmao true shit, we've been here before. xD both she and i don't like it. have you ever moved? if so, how many times? well i was born in rocky mount, but we moved to sharpsburg when i was very, very young, so really, i call sharpsburg my hometown. i moved again as a pre-teen to where we are now. do you remember the name of your kindergarten teacher? mrs. fortenberry what’s your middle name? marie have you ever cried yourself to sleep? many times. have you seen the odyssey? hmmmm, i think in high school... do you believe in equal rights between men and women? no shit? don’t you hate the stupid girls in scary movies that run upstairs? it's extremely cliche, sure. do you plan on breastfeeding your children? or if you have children, did you? i do. i remember my mind being BLOWN when i was at the hospital when ashley was bearing ryder and there was a display of all the different nutrients in formula milk vs. breast milk. formula milk has NOTHING on the real stuff, and i want to ensure any child of mine has the best possible start in all regards. but would you ever do it in public? me personally, no. but i have NO problem with other women doing it. i'd just be too scared of getting lectured by some random, ignorant asshole. which is fucking pathetic, to know me, among soooo many other women, are fearful of being confronted because of feeding a child. we're in 2017, get with the times, this is old shit. have you ever worn a pair of scrubs?   every time (but one) when i was at the er and every time at the mental hospital. they're very uncomfortable and feel like thick paper. do you think you’d have what it takes to shoot someone if you had to protect yourself? honestly? yeah, i would. but let's hope i sure as hell never have to do so. have you ever hallucinated?   i wouldn't say i ever full-on hallucinated, but when i was coming off a certain medication, i saw shadows moving a lot. have you ever worn a nipple tassle?   nope. do you think pearls are attractive?   eh, i'm neutral on them, honestly. i don't find them extremely pretty. are there any waterfalls nearby? definitely not any big ones. what is your favorite condiment? usually, honey mustard. have you had a nap today? VERY surprisingly, not yet. i usually have by now. have you ever cried while watching a movie? mhmm. has someone close to you died of murder? no, thank god. do you pray to god often? less than i usually do, because i'm just so mad at him... how do you feel about people who neglect their pets? they have no right to have an animal as part of their family. should there be an application process for having children? uh, no. i can GUARANTEE it wouldn't cover all areas and there'd be so many "special cases." it would case more bad than good, i'm certain, and besides, i can also promise you it wouldn't stop us from reproducing. how intense is your anger? have you ever hurt anyone/yourself? it can be explosive. dare i say even deadly, with how it's left me feeling towards some people. i have hurt myself multiples times, anger being a culprit, but never anyone else. do you know anyone who is abusive? are you abusive? i know some abusive people, yet i don't consider them part of my life. i am in no way abusive, i'd never be able to live with myself. have you ever contemplated cheating on anyone? fuck no, because i know a thing or two about loyalty. at what age did you start to feel like a teen, and not a kid anymore? idk what age, but it was definitely when i had my first period. i cried about it. who was the last person to completely fascinate you? completely? jason, of course. when looking for something to watch on tv, do you tend to pick shows you know you like or try new shows that look interesting even though you’ve never heard of them before? i tend to stick to what i know. if you were to donate to charity today, what would you donate to? i'm not sure, but probably something for suicide prevention. what is your favorite card game and when was the last time you played it? "magic: the gathering" i guess, and i played the duels of the planeswalker thing on ps3 moooonths ago, but i haven't played it in-hand in well over a year. do you know anyone who is fluent in a second tongue? i think juan's the only one? he speaks spanish and english. how’s your day going so far? eh. i have wicked heartburn and my stomach's upset. did your ex give you a promise ring? no. he gave me a ring, but it wasn't a promise ring. do you know anyone that's gotten an abortion before? i do, and when she's of age, she wants to get a tattoo of the child's name, which... REALLY PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF???? so your unborn child's important enough for you to get a tattoo in his/her honor, buuuut not important enough to be born??? the fuck is your problem??? are you worried about anything right now? ugh, yeah. mom has most of my room packed up, and i'm trying to find the ring jason gave me. i want to fix it and wear it. i think it's in my bigger jewelry box since it wasn't in the one he gave me, but i'm worried it won't be. i will literally die if i lost this ring. does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? no. ashley has a tattoo with my initial, though, as well as our other sisters' and brother's. if you fell pregnant to the last person you kissed, what would you think? if by some miracle i conceived his child after not seeing him in over a year, i would be extremely confused, but i'll go with the logic. i'd be like... unbelievably happy in a very weird way. i'd cherish that child beyond explanation. imagine a dragon guarding priceless treasures in the old fairytales, that's how i'd feel towards that baby. to have some part of him, it'd be unreal. do you think the body is the most beautiful thing that was ever made? no. the human soul is. what colour is your mum’s hair? extremely dark brown, almost black (i thought i was as a child), and graying. what would you do if your partner still kept pictures of their ex? i guess... i can't say much. considering i don't give a fuck, i would never get rid of jason's pictures. are there any mistakes with your recent ex you wish you could have changed? i should've let him have my virginity. he was entirely deserving of it. what color was the hair of the last person you kissed? black. it almost looked brownish in the very strong light, though. who was the last person to buy you dinner? colleen

sorry this is a bit shorter than usual, but i need a nap. looking back at my prom pictures really fucked with me; i feel extremely sick right now.

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