#I feel that when I post this entire thing on ao3 yall gonna kill me for all these cliffhangers

[anachronismstellar]

It's 1 am, I'm feeling reckless, and Airplane vs The System is officially over 16k words (50 pages) so have some Binghe drama:

---

The room was entirely quiet, the only audible sound the low hum coming from the sword displayed on the furthest wall, covered in talismans and protective spells.

Luo Binghe wasn't an easy to scare man, but right now there was a burning sensation on the back of his throat. His stomach kept turning and twisting as his yin and yang energies started to get dangerously unbalanced, the soothing voice of the blade bringing goosebumps all over his skin, whispering promises like an old lover.

Luo Binghe wasn't an easy to scare man, but at this moment he was terrified.

“I'm right here,” Shizun brought their hands close to his lips, kissing the back of Binghe's without any hesitation, the gesture helping ground himself to their present. “I'm right here, I'm not letting go,” Shizun's voice was louder this time as his other hand touched Binghe's hair, nails gently scratching his scalp. “Can Binghe tell this master what the plan is?”

It was a poor attempt to distract him, but Binghe took it anyway, eyes closing as he focused on his husband's touches, the soft smell of jasmine from his hair oil, the sound of his heartbeat, strong and thankfully loud.

“I'm going to use Xin Mo to take us to the Northern Desert,” he spoke slowly, swallowing dry as his Shizun hummed against his hair. “And then I'm going to help Shang-shishu find Mobei-Jun.”

“Very good,” Shizun's hand on his hair went a bit lower, fingers combing his hair over and over again. “And to find Mobei-Jun, what do you have to look for?”

“An entrance,” and he frowned as he said it, not really sure how they would find a door in the middle of nowhere. Shizun didn't seem so sure as well, but trying to pry for details was harder than convincing Liu Qingge to work along with demons. Would they search for a temple? A cave at the foot of the mountain? Heavens knew. His only reassurance was the fact that Shizun’s and Shang-shishu’s cryptic guesses always worked before.

“That’s it,” Shizun repeated once more, a fleeting kiss pressed against Binghe’s temple. “And this master will be right next to you, the whole time.”

Xin Mo humming got louder, as if sensing Binghe's discomfort.

They had spent the past two days preparing every contingency plan possible, and fighting over if Shen Qingqi should go with them or not. Not haven't been exactly fighting, more like they both had their strong opinions on how the rescue mission should go.

A teleportation spell shouldn't be too challenging, and on top of all the protection, they were going to use a huge energy circle to redirect the negativity coming from the blade, minimizing Binghe's contact with Xin Mo. The idea itself has been used before in other artifacts, in a way smaller scale. The issue was that they couldn't test it.

Which meant that, on one hand, if they fail, they would be stuck with a hurt Binghe on top of having to spend more time finding transportation to the supposed place Mobei-Jun was. On the other hand, if it worked but turned out to be impossible to repeat the process where they arrived, they would be stuck. And as they had no idea what Mobei-Jun's condition was…

“Shizun-”

“That’s not negotiable, Binghe.” And although Shizun’s voice was firm, his hands were gentle as they moved over Binghe’s face, touching both his cheeks so he could make Binghe face him, pressing their foreheads together. “I’m not sending you away from my sight with that sword and that's final.”

And how exhilarating it was to hear his Shizun speak like that, to put his foot down on following him to the end of the world.

A low cough brought them out of their bubble, Binghe glaring at Shang Qinghua as his Shizun became red all over, hiding his face with a quick snap of his fan. And it was a testimony of how inpatient Shang-shishu was when Binghe's glare didn't even make the other peak lord blink.

“The room is ready,” Shang Qinghua said as he fixed his cloak. Gone were the yellow robes of his peak, changed for the traditional blues of the Northern tribes, dressed up to withstand the cold temperatures. “I've also brought appropriate gear for Lord Luo and Shixiong. Better be safe than sorry when dealing with the Northern Desert.”

“Thank you, Shidi, for your consideration,” Shizun nodded at the other peak lord, looking everywhere but his fellow cultivator's face. They've been acting a little odd towards each. It made Binghe curious to know what could have caused them to act formally, but not enough to do something about it and make them reconcile. At least not until Shizun got really sad.

Shang Qinghua took his leave and left the room so they could change, probably going to wait them on the room he had set up the circle, few doors down the corridor.

Where Shang-shishu had found winter robes in green and black colors to match Shizun's and his style, Binghe couldn't imagine. But he also wouldn't expect anything less from the man that controlled both Cang Qiong and the Demon Realm with an iron fist and scary efficiency.

“Here, let me help,” Binghe said as he helped Shizun with his clothes, smoothing the fabrics layer by layer, shamelessly touching his husband all over. If Shizun had noticed the lingering touches he said nothing of it, even daring to touch back, putting up Binghe's heavy hood lined with soft black fur.

“Ready?” Shizun asked after a quick glance at Xin Mo, his cold hands against Binghe’s cheeks, making him feel feverish. He nodded, not trusting his own voice, turning his face to kiss the palm of his husband's hand before facing his cursed blade.

Amazing how everything was done in a heartbeat.

He took Xin Mo from the wall, careful to not touch it directly, covering the sword with a thick white cloth. Then they went to meet Shang Qinghua, going through the plan one last time before Binghe drew the sword from its sheath, slicing space as if reality were butter under a hot knife.

It felt easy.

It was anything but.

Xin Mo did its best to fight Binghe the entire time, as if the handle had turned into thorns, the sword's energy slicing the palm of his hands again and again until it almost reached Binghe's bones. Worst of it all was the screams coming from it, the sensation of needles piercing his brain bearable only by Binghe focusing on his husband's warm hands on his wrists, his voice on Binghe's ears, repeatedly calling Binghe's name, even sending him energy to fight Xin Mo back.

They stepped through the portal, wind hitting their faces, white blinding him for a second as relief washed over him like warm rain hitting their garden back at their bamboo house.

Binghe immediately let go of the sword, crumbling on soft snow.

---

:)

Hehe

See you on the next part!

[yourturntosimp]

hey hey! can i have yan shin x reader general hcs?

A/N: it's rlly crazy how all my motivation to post and write comes to me in the middle of chem ANYWAYS here's your hacker boy, again, a long post as apology for taking so long to get around to formatting and posting it, actually had more fun than i was expecting writing this one <33 TWs: local hacker man refuses to acknowledge that he’s down bad, e-stalking, kidnapping, toxic behaviours, communication issues, mention of bad self-care, mentions of strangulation

💻 ok so i'm not trying to say he's an unstable yandere

💻 but if he got fed up to a certain extent, he would in fact choke you out and then apologize when you wake up-

💻 this man

💻 touch starved, i tell you

💻 i preach the truth, and this is such

💻 dude if you just give him like

💻 one good hug, i think he would start crying-

💻 like i'm not saying his childhood was like bad or anything, bc in-canon his parents seem great

💻 but like?????? yk?????

💻 what i'm trying to say is that this boy is way too out of touch with genuine emotions and the concepts surrounding them

💻 so you just know this is gonna go well-

💻 at first he's like

💻 "no. ew. get away. shoo, go" bc

💻 you're making him feel all warm and fuzzy and he doesn't like that-

💻 like i think he would. actively try to get you killed????? if this was during the death game????

💻 i mean. easiest way to get rid of your problems is to get them killed in an awful deathtrap, amiright?

💻 [insert cricket sound effect, accompanied by ill-timed bad 80s laughtrack]

💻 so he acts like he absolutely loathes your presence

💻 like he goes to the point of leaving the fucking room if you're in it-

💻 and tbf, he actually does think he hates you for a while-

💻 until one day he's just. ranting to kanna about this exact topic

💻 and she just.

💻 "do you...like them?"

💻 and shin damn near combusts

💻 he just immediately starts rebuking her, to the point where she just starts giving him the "yep, sure, whatever you say man" treatment-

💻 and after that he just

💻 has to completely reframe his psyche

💻 ",,,,,do i like them???"

💻 spoiler: the answer is yes-

💻 so not only does he now have to deal with liking you, he has to deal with knowing that he likes you

💻 yall are rlly a slowburn enemies to lovers 250k word ao3 fic idk what to tell you-

💻 he would rather literally fucking die than outright be like "hey. i like you, go out with me" for

💻 many reasons-

💻 not only does he not understand any of this as well as he’d like to, it's also a matter of pride

💻 and if he admits it first, he loses

💻 and he is not about to lose-

💻 so the logical solution?

💻 well, he starts out with just cyber-stalking you

💻 it's just small things at first, like occasional checks

💻 and then that evolves into him having a constant tab on your social media and interpersonal relationships, full background searches,,,,

💻 but eventually, that's not enough either

💻 so what's the next step?

💻 kidnapping of course!

💻 of course it's kidnapping, it's always kidnapping--

💻 he's not particularly concerned about being careful about it

💻 all he needs are no witnesses, right?

💻 and he'd rather not deal with the hassle of getting and properly dosing chloroform, so...

💻 yeah, crazy how you can just be on a walk in the afternoon and then it turns out there’s some dude waiting around the corner a few feet ahead of you with a heavy rock-

💻 the next time you wake up you're in an unfamiliar apartment

💻 your day's going great so far, right--

💻 so you're trying to look around while you're completely restrained and shin's just-

💻 sitting in the gd corner watching the entire time HBGFDFGH

💻 he'll eventually explain to you that he's kidnapped you to make you go out with him

💻 but also he does not know how feelings work so could you also be his therapist for him ok thanks <3

💻 please do not look forward to the living conditions too much--

💻 he'll give you the couch, he is keeping his bed until both of you are comfy enough to be within 2 feet of eachother without running away or attempted murder-

💻 the food variety,,,,,ehhh,,,

💻 he's described as frail so

💻 i'd imagine his diet isn't the best--

💻 it's a cycle between cup noodles and fast food

💻 and if you count the total number of times he forgoes eating for something more productive,,,

💻 he is willing to cook more often if you bring it up!

💻 his eating habits aren't changing, i'm sorry but if he deems himself as too busy then he's not taking a single bite--

💻 has no clue how a healthy romantic relationship works

💻 so chances are, he's either barely communicating with you, or he's just infodumping all of his problems on the table, sliding them over to you in a neat little pile, and saying "ok fix it pls"-

💻 you can explain it over and over and over again, it's one or the other, no gray area

💻 if you tell him to be more communicative? play therapist for him

💻 if you tell him "uh no bestie ths not communication"? so he's bothering you when you interact and he should limit talking with you, right?

💻 uh,,,,,,,yeah--

💻 it would be best for your own safety if you just

💻 say you love him

💻 it's very possible and definitely 100% likely that if you go "uh,,,,dude idk what you're on, im not interested pls js let me go" at any point in time he'll take this as you outright refusing him as a person

💻 so he'll like

💻 idk, maybe the next day, come back, let you go

💻 come up with some bs excuse of "i'm rlly sorry, alot's happened in my life recently, idk where my head is, i'll try to talk to someone about this professionally" etc etc

💻 so you think you're fine for a while

💻 until everyone you start getting close with mysteriously starts disappearing

💻 and you're back in his apartment a few months later

💻 by all means, confront him about this literally happening a couple months ago

💻 the difference here is that this time, you have nobody else to run back to :DDD

💻 but it's fine, right?

💻 you have free housing, free food, he can even take you out to shop if you want

💻 you don't have to work, don't have to clean

💻 you don't even have to love him

💻 all you have to do is pretend, and he's just fine with that

💻 all you need to do is tell him that you love him too, and nobody has to get hurt <3

[stilesssolo]

20 Questions: Writer’s addition

Thank you @muttpeeta for the tag!! ❤️

How many works do you have on AO3?

81 apparently!!

What’s your total AO3 word count?

996,295 lol SO close to a million. This next chapter will push it over the edge 😂

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Just two, Teen Wolf and Game of Thrones! Technically three if you count the single Star Wars fic I wrote lol

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Ugh god let me just cry about how my most popular story is a crackfic I wrote in half an hour 

1. Nobody Needs to Know (Anidala/ Star Wars prequels)

2. where the wild things are (Jonerys/ GoT)

3. baby I’ll come back to you (Jonerys/ GoT)

4. we will not give up on love now (Jonerys/ GoT)

5. carve our place into time and space (Jonerys/ GoT)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to but I know I’m terrible at it. I have been trying to get better about it and answer them as I get them, because sitting down and answering all of them in one go is wildly overwhelming. I’m super grateful for all the comments I get, don’t get me wrong, and I love love love reading them all. But sometimes I just don’t have the energy or mental capacity to answer everything. And I always figure you guys would rather have me work on a new chapter for five hours and get it that much closer to posting than answer comments for the same amount of time. 

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Ummm ending specifically, probably don’t you ever tame your demons. I think that’s the only fic I actually kill a main character in. 

(Although I do have a couple Stydia one shots that are basically about Allison’s death so. Those are also p angsty)

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I feel like WTWTA tied everything up very nicely and was generally overall very sweet and happy? The last chapter to me was just very bonus fluffy. Idk all my stories have pretty happy endings haha, even if I’m gonna lay on the angst for most of the story I feel like a satisfying closing for me always involves a pretty happy ending! 

Do you write crossovers? If yes, what’s the craziest thing you’ve written?

Technically I guess Star Wolves is a crossover because Chewbacca and the droids are there as themselves. But mainly that was because... how do you cast anyone as Chewbacca in a Star Wars AU? You don’t. It just has to be Chewbacca 😂

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

lolol have yall seen my inbox since I started posting BICBTY???

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do, though it’s still not my favorite thing to write so it’s mainly for the benefit of my readers 😂 I feel like I’d be even worse at PWP so I try to make my smut at least serve a little bit of a narrative purpose 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Actually plagiarized? Nope, thank god

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yep! 

Have you ever co-written a fic?

I have not but who knows maybe eventually @esteriivy and I will write our collab fic 👀

What’s your all time favourite ship?

Stydia and Jonerys! 

What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

(Fer don’t hate me) the Wildest Dreams au. It’s been sitting in my drafts since 2018 lol. We’ll see if finishing the Ice Dancing AU and the upcoming (sure to be atrocious) Teen Wolf movie motivates me to finish it 

What’s your writing strengths?

I love writing dialogue. Generally when I’m really inspired for a scene, I write out just the actual dialogue first and then go back and add in the rest lol

What’s your writing weaknesses?

Smut and keeping things short

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I do it occasionally with little bits of Valyrian, but idk having entire conversations in different languages if there’s no context clues/ translation to let you know what’s happening can be a little annoying. 

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Stydia! Even though my first published fic is for Anidala, I had already finished the first Star Wolves story by then. I just waited to write all three of them before posting them. 

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Jonerys: BICBTY. I know it’s taking me forever to write it rn but I really do love it and love getting to tell this story. And I’m really excited to see what y’all think of the rest of it. 

Stydia: The ice dancing au. I’m gonna finish it in 2022 that’s my goal. It’s definitely my magnum opus of Stydia writing, and it’s a really fun story to tell. 

[ddaenggtan]

backseat memories - 1 [M]

Pairing | Kim Namjoon x Reader

Warnings | Fluff, Smut, no angst for once bc its gatverse, mechanic namjoon except this is almost entirely about his student life rip, Finals Week, sex as a motivator, encouraging girlfriend MC, Semi-Public Sex, exhibitionism, thigh riding 😎, grinding, fingering, nipple play, praise kink, unprotected sex (pls use condoms yall), slight degradation aka degrading pet names

A/N | Hello!!! Its been a minute I know but! This is gonna be an ongoing drabble series that I add on to when I can/want to, all about the same couple from my fic Give And Take! Originally this was gonna be one really long fic, but like...that was.....not working with my brain lmao it was difficult enough to get this little bit out on its own and it's not even that long so 🥴🥴🥴 this drabble has a dual function bc a year ago today I posted gat and for some reason yall liked it???? Idk????? And then forever ago i did the poll asking what yall wanted and gat sequel was the winner except i never actually got around to writing it lmaoooooo until nOW! So boom drabble series! (Also WHAT its been a YEAR holy SHIT time flies)

BUT MOSTLY!!!! THIS IS DEDICATED TO EMMA AKA @personawife BECAUSE THERE ISNT A SINGLE SOUL THAT LOVES GATJOON LIKE SHE DOES!!! NOT ONE!!! I STILL DONT GET IT BUT THATS OKAY!! anyway happy late birthday emma im sorry this wasnt ready on ur actual birthday also am proud of u for all the work u did in school this semester u killed it!!!! Also also fuck u for knowing exactly what it was gonna be i shouldve made it 666joon instead of your husband smh 😤😤 but anyway i hope u enjoy this clusterfuck 🥺🥺🥺

(Also im trying a new thing where i just link to ao3 bc i really really really really hate tumblrs entire shit like its posting is god awful and also i dont have internet rn so i rely on tumblr mobile and i dont feel like trying to format a bunch of shit on tumble mobile r i p me)

"Hey."

The soft voice startles both you and Namjoon. When he lifts from the desk, there are several index cards stuck to one cheek and a mini-highlighter settled comfortably in a fold of his wrinkled shirt.

You aren't much better off - you're no doubt a mess. Crumpled clothes, tangled hair, and what feels suspiciously like a drool trail running down your chin that you hastily wipe away. When you look up, Seokjin stands in the doorway to Namjoon's bedroom, a small smile playing across his lips.

Read on AO3!

[ezragold]

With a Little Help from My Friends

A/N: Happy last-day-of-Pegoryu-week! Let’s celebrate by reading... day 2′s prompt... No one ever said I was good at preparing things, okay. AO3 link: [here]

Day 2: First Date

Title: With a Little Help from My Friends

Rating: Teen

Summary: Ryuji has successfully asked Akira out! Now if only he could figure out something special for them to do. All of his ideas just feel like their every day routine, and he’s pulling his hair out trying to come up with a way to make it special. All of the thieves seem to have their own ideas of the perfect date, 90% of which are entirely unhelpful, as Ryuji soon realizes.

[ THURSDAY, 6:50PM ]

crossbonez is online

crossbonez has entered The Dungeon of Unspeakable Acts

crossbonez: GUYS I NEED HELP

crossbonez: ALSO WTF WHO CHANGED THE CHANNEL NAME

palette-cleanser: There’s no need to yell about it.

crossbonez: YOU CAN’T HEAR ME SMARTASS

killerqueen: Futaba renamed it and I can’t figure out how to change it back. What’s wrong?

memejed: me! muahaha!!!! you’ll never figure out how to change it back!

memejed: boo makoto types too fast :(

palette-cleanser: Futaba, naturally.

palette-cleanser: Oh.

memejed: lmaooooo

crossbonez: ok ok is akira in this chat??

yougimmethecrepes: I mean technically

yougimmethecrepes: but I think he’s had this channel muted for like a month

killerqueen: Understandable.

crossbonez: o sick

crossbonez: OK SO I ASKED HIM OUT AND I NEED ADVICE

yougimmethecrepes: OMG RYUJI

memejed: GHIDNDOSKFHSKX WHAAAAT

killerqueen: !

yougimmethecrepes: DID HE SAY YES??

palette-cleanser: My most heartfelt congratulations!

crossbonez: of course he said yes wtf guys

crossbonez: why wouldn’t he, i’m a catch

memejed: so’s a big ol slimy fish

memejed: its perspective

crossbonez: can we ban her?

killerqueen: She’s the room admin.

memejed: IM ADMIN MY CITY NOW

memejed: HECK how do u type so much faster than me????

crossbonez: OH MY GOD CAN WE FOCUS ON ME PLEASE

palette-cleanser: something tells me you wouldn’t allow us the chance to do anything different.

yougimmethecrepes: go ahead Ryuji, what’s up?

crossbonez: i didn’t think about what we should do on the date so i kinda panicked when he asked and told him i had everything taken care of but i don’t

crossbonez: ive never taken care of anything in my life

crossbonez: please help yall know im not smart

yougimmethecrepes: omg THAT’S what ur worried about??? HOE ur best friend is a dating expert. I gotchu

crossbonez: lmfao ann youve never been on a date

yougimmethecrepes: maybe not

yougimmethecrepes: but i have seen so many romcoms

crossbonez: oooooo my god Kill me

crossbonez: wait holy shit have any of you even been on a date before

crossbonez: NOW YOU ALL STOP TYPING

crossbonez: this is the worst i hate my life

yougimmethecrepes: yusuke if you say anything about painting my nude as a date i’ll block you

palette-cleanser: There was that time when Ann came to the old studio in order for me to paint her portrait.

palette-cleanser: It was already half-written when you sent that.

yougimmethecrepes: OHHH MY GOD

palette-cleanser: I didn’t want to just let the reply go to waste.

yougimmethecrepes: BLOCKED

palette-cleanser: :(

killerqueen: Okay.

killerqueen: I’ll DM you, Ryuji.

crossbonez: oh thank god

[ THURSDAY, 7:04 PM ]  

[ killerqueen has sent you a message! ]

killerqueen: Firstly,

killerqueen: good for you, asking out Akira! That was really brave. How did it go, if that’s not too intrusive?

crossbonez: fine I think?? morgana kept cockblocking me but he got bored of watching us watch bad movies and left so

crossbonez: i just kinda

crossbonez: asked

crossbonez: and he said yeah

crossbonez: so now im dead and going thru w the date is my hell

killerqueen: Okay, relax. Obviously he wouldn’t have said yes to the date if he wasn’t already interested, so you already have that going for you! The worst part is done.

killerqueen: All you have to do now is think of something special for the two of you to do together.

crossbonez: yeah that’s basically the part where my brain stops

killerqueen: Fair. What’s your budget?

crossbonez: uhhhhhh

crossbonez: uhhhhhhhhhhh

killerqueen: Ryuji.

crossbonez: is free an option

killerqueen: Oh, god. Okay.

killerqueen: I didn’t realize you hadn’t planned for this in… any capacity.

crossbonez: OF COURSE I HAVENT ITS LIKE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME

crossbonez: I DIDNT THINK OF THE MONEY THING OK

crossbonez: I WAS SORT OF FOCUSED ON NOT THROWING UP ON HIM AS I ASKED

killerqueen: Message received.

killerqueen: I’ll see if there’s anything cheap going on in the city this weekend.

crossbonez: thank you ugh

crossbonez: was this a bad idea

killerqueen: Asking out Akira? No, of course not.

crossbonez: sigh

killerqueen: Lying to Akira about having the entire thing prepared and planned out? Yes, without a doubt.

crossbonez: COOL THANKS MOM 

crossbonez: GOD

[ crossbonez left the conversation. ]

 [ THURSDAY, 7:29PM ]

[ palette-cleanser sent you a message! ]

palette-cleanser: Are you still taking advice for your date?

crossbonez: the answer is technically yes but i can’t say i’ve reached the point in my life where i’m ready to take dating advice from you

palette-cleanser: I shall try and keep my advice more general, then.

crossbonez: just don’t say the word beauty

palette-cleanser: You should consider the benefit of surrounding yourselves with beautiful things. I can only imagine a relationship increasing in intensity when the couple is surrounded by overwhelming beauty.

palette-cleanser: In my defense, my reply was half-written when you posted yours.

crossbonez: what the hell would overwhelming beauty even be man

crossbonez: am i sposed to find out which flower gives him boners like what am i doing here

palette-cleanser: that is up to you! And Akira, I suppose.

palette-cleanser: I was, of course, referring to your beautiful surroundings being up to you. Akira getting an erection is less-so in your hands.

palette-cleaner: …I did not mean for that to become a double-entendre but I suppose that’s also appropriate to your situation.

crossbonez: hoo boy you are this close to my block list lemme tell ya

palette-cleanser: Please don’t, my contact list is very short as it is.

palette-cleanser: Back to the topic at hand,

crossbonez: yeah plz

palette-cleanser: What are some things that Akira finds beautiful?

crossbonez: man i don’t know

crossbonez: uhh

crossbonez: good coffee

crossbonez: big ass cheeseburgers

crossbonez: cats probably

crossbonez: hes got a risette poster in his room but i think that’s less because shes hot and more because someone gave it to him and he was too nice to throw it out

palette-cleanser: None of that sounds particularly beautiful…

crossbonez: OH WOW DOES IT NOT

crossbonez: REALLY

palette-cleanser: There is no need to raise your typeface at me.

crossbonez: sjdjcickgmsoakfb

palette-cleanser: ?

crossbonez: nothing dont worry abt it

crossbonez: im gonna go see if i can buy something beautiful for ¥200 

palette-cleanser: Many beautiful things in life are free.

crossbonez: you got an example to go with that inspirational quote?

crossbonez: duuuude?

palette-cleanser: I appear to be losing connection

crossbonez: oh my god dude

palette-cleanser: I can hardly read what you’re writing

crossbonez: thats not how that would even work

crossbonez: i cant tell if ur trolling me or not

[ palette-cleanser has left the conversation. ]

 [ THURSDAY, 7:49PM ] 

[ yougimmethecrepes has replied to your message! ]

crossbonez: plz tell me ur just invisible

crossbonez: ur my one last hope and god is that saying something about how my standards have fallen

yougimmethecrepes: doing homework

yougimmethecrepes: you still peeing your pants over date night?

crossbonez: you still willing to give bad advice?

yougimmethecrepes: imagine me swiping all of my school work off my desk onto my floor because if my math grade didn’t ride on this I would have done that

crossbonez: aight

yougimmethecrepes: also my advice is fantastic shut up

yougimmethecrepes: okay, lets start easy. What’s the budget?

crossbonez: im in high school and not a part time model

crossbonez: my budget is negative

yougimmethecrepes: ooooh

yougimmethecrepes: got it

yougimmethecrepes: arcade? you can just use small change and stuff

crossbonez: we go there ALL THE TIME thats not a date

crossbonez: that’s like going to the ramen shop or something

yougimmethecrepes: uh……batting cages? Movie?

crossbonez: i cant ask him on a date and then just do shit we do normally! how is that a date???

yougimmethecrepes: How is it not a date?? You guys always have fun doing that, how is it less fun on a date

yougimmethecrepes: OH WAIT NO I got it

yougimmethecrepes: bathhouse

crossbonez: shut up no

yougimmethecrepes: hey, it’s not my fault you gave this absolutely no thought whatsoever

crossbonez: UGH I KNOW

crossbonez: WHY IS THIS HARD

yougimmethecrepes: I KEEP TELLING YOU THAT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE

yougimmethecrepes: YOU’RE MAKING THIS A PROBLEM

[ crossbonez has left the conversation. ]

 [ THURSDAY, 8:25 PM ] 

[ memejed sent you a message! ]

crossbonez: no

memejed: before you say anything

memejed: jdcjdjnfdkdkf

memejed: dammit how do all of you type so fast

memejed: it’s like I don’t even know myself any more

memejed: is it my tiny hands

crossbonez: i do not want dating advice from you

memejed: well then it’s a good thing I don’t have any for you then ISNT IT

memejed: I just wanted to tell you that Akira just got home and he’s smiling a lot and it’s gross and weird and most likely your fault, so

crossbonez: oh that’s

crossbonez: nice to hear thank you jhgjfyjuh

memejed: he just told sojiro about the date and sojiro offered to grab him condoms hahAHAAHAH

crossbonez: OH MY GOD

crossbonez: DONT TELL ME THAT SHIT

memejed: IM ACTUALLY GONNA CHOKE LOLLL

crossbonez: I HOPE SO

memejed: >:(

memejed: I don’t even get why youre so nervous he’s obviously out of his mind happy to go out with you

memejed: whatever you guys do he’ll be down

memejed: just don’t do any stupid shit like try and show off or act like a tool

memejed: which I realize may seem daunting for you

memejed: but I believe u may have it in you, maybe

crossbonez: I just have no idea what to do without us doing the same shit as always

memejed: whats wrong with doing the stuff you guys always do? Routine is comfy

memejed: comfort is the enemy of anxiety

memejed: well, comfy, and a good pair of sweatpants

memejed: *and valium

crossbonez: you dont think he would mind doing shit we do all the time?

memejed: oh my god are ALL boys as stupid as you??? how has the species survived for so long

memejed: just hold his hand or something and he’d let you push him in front of the subway!! Like, that probably shouldn’t be your go to option, but just

memejed: he ALREADY likes you. you don’t need to impress him or anything

memejed: consider yourself lucky, because like, idk how you swung that

crossbonez: I agree with you too much to get mad at that

crossbonez: wow

crossbonez: akira agreed to go out with me, you gave me advice that wasnt steaming dog shit

crossbonez: maybe i should buy a lottery ticket lmao

memejed: LMAO ur luck stat isn’t THAT high yet

memejed: see if sojiro comes through w the condoms first

crossbonez: okay and NOW im leaving

memejed: BE SAFE!!

[ crossbonez has left the conversation. ]

 [ THURSDAY, 9:22 PM ]  

[ HaruOkumura sent you a message! ]

HaruOkumura: Good, you’re still online! 

crossbonez: hahaha what happened to ur screenname?

HaruOkumura: The company’s social media adviser suggested I change it for professional purposes………..

crossbonez: lame

HaruOkumura: Yes apparently “BigBangIsPeople” is not an appropriate username for the incoming CEO of Okumura Foods.

HaruOkumura: I thought it was funny :(

HaruOkumura: But anyway! I’m glad you’re still online! Makoto texted me and told me about yours and Akira’s date and I wanted to say congratulations and I’m so happy for you!

crossbonez: thanks! tell makoto to quit snitchin tho

HaruOkumura: Will do! I just wanted to talk because Makoto said you were very stressed out and seemed sort of unprepared

crossbonez: im okay now i think

crossbonez: futaba helped me out

crossbonez: weirdly

crossbonez: i mean im still sweating all over myself and the idea of actually meeting up with akira for the date in question makes me want to gag but :) im fine

HaruOkumura: oh my :o

HaruOkumura: Have you decided what the two of you will do?

crossbonez: yeeaaahhhh i got some ideas i think?

HaruOkumura: I do as well!! Would you like to hear them?

crossbonez: hey i am always up for not thinking

HaruOkumura: That’s great!! Okay, what is your budget currently?

crossbonez: gkhskdfkjlghlrihvoirhgiu

crossbonez: kjghsiuergtiughpijiuprughtuislrhgiulth

HaruOkumura: Uhm?

crossbonez: I THINK IM GOOD LMAO THX HARU

HaruOkumura: Oh youre welcome! Let us know how it goes!

crossbonez: yeah sure if i dont die first!

[ crossbonez has left the conversation. ]

 [ SATURDAY, 02:41 AM ] 

[ JokersWild sent you a message! ]

JokersWild: Hey

JokersWild: I know youre probably asleep because it’s like fuck o clock in the morning and why wouldn’t you be

JokersWild: But I cant sleep because I made myself some antianxiety coffee when I got home haha

JokersWild: (futaba calls it estresso but I can’t call it that because it’s so clever it makes me mad I didn’t think of it first)

JokersWild: but I had a really good time tonight

JokersWild: and you seemed kind of worried all night so I wanted you to know that

JokersWild: and idek if you were worried because of us(?) or if there was something else going on and now I just seem like kind of an asshole for assuming it was about me

JokersWild: but whether it was or it wasn’t I had fun

JokersWild: and

JokersWild: I’m really happy you asked me out

JokersWild: and just…… you don’t need advice from anyone on how to like

JokersWild: woo me yknow?

JokersWild: I had notifications turned off but the number of messages in the group chat kept ticking up so I lurked for a second

JokersWild: I don’t know what anyone ended up telling you but you didn’t need it

JokersWild: you don’t have to impress me. I ALREADY like you.

JokersWild: so, that’s that

JokersWild: this coffee is very strong and obviously my inhibitions are non existent right now so I’m going to bed before this turns into a confession

JokersWild: or more of one

JokersWild: lets, like, do this again? I want to keep doing this with you

[ JokersWild has left the conversation. ]

 [ SATURDAY, 02:54 AM ] 

[ JokersWild sent you a message! ]

JokersWild: also oh my god thank you for not freaking the fuck out when that condom fell out of my jacket I SWEAR TO YOU I did not put it there and when I find out who did I am going to unmake them

JokersWild: okay goodnight

[ JokersWild has left the conversation. ]